Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,200 --> 00:00:07,400
Well, hello to you my old chums.
What a veritable thrill to see you
all again. Particularly you, cheeky!
2
00:00:07,400 --> 00:00:09,280
Let me get you up to speed.
3
00:00:09,280 --> 00:00:14,040
Previously in my life, the gorgeous
Gary upped his sticks to Hong Kong.
4
00:00:14,040 --> 00:00:19,080
Which I've been fine about.
I mean, I don't think it's
weird making fruit friends.
5
00:00:20,640 --> 00:00:23,960
Things only ever went wrong
when I was with Gary anyway.
6
00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:27,600
This is the place, come on! Woo-hoo!
7
00:00:27,600 --> 00:00:29,120
Ooh, it looks great!
8
00:00:36,560 --> 00:00:39,440
Say nothing. Shush, please.
9
00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:41,400
No, I'm fine.
10
00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:45,840
Tired, but that's because I've
been sleeping on a lilo because
my bed broke. Too much action!
11
00:00:54,560 --> 00:00:58,760
And if I have been down, I definitely
turned a corner last night.
12
00:01:01,400 --> 00:01:05,400
# Is there any way that I can say
13
00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:08,200
# That you're...
14
00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:15,240
It's too high, Daniel, and it's
unnaturally high for a man.
15
00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:17,920
Right, let's jolly on with the show.
16
00:01:29,120 --> 00:01:31,800
Hello, Stevie. Oh, dear.
17
00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:36,720
Oh, your new stock keeps
bringing in these posh girls.
18
00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:41,440
Are you disparaging Stevie's
boutique corner? No...maybe.
19
00:01:41,440 --> 00:01:43,160
I don't know what disparaging means.
20
00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:45,680
Mocking. Oh, then yes.
21
00:01:45,680 --> 00:01:52,320
"Yah, I'm going to see Hugo,
Wills, Milly, Billy and Bella so
need a new trinkety necklace."
22
00:01:53,920 --> 00:01:55,000
Hello.
23
00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:56,720
Are you making fun of me?
24
00:01:56,720 --> 00:01:58,400
No, no, what do you mean?
25
00:01:58,400 --> 00:02:00,760
This is how I speak.
26
00:02:00,760 --> 00:02:03,520
So, do you need any help?
27
00:02:03,520 --> 00:02:06,840
It's quite tricky.
28
00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:08,840
Anything you'd like to try on?
29
00:02:08,840 --> 00:02:11,320
No, fine, thanks.
30
00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:15,640
Have you looked in
the mirror recently?
31
00:02:15,640 --> 00:02:18,840
Come on, you've got to get your act
together, Miranda. Stop wallowing.
32
00:02:18,840 --> 00:02:22,680
I have stopped wallowing.
I've told you, I've moved on. Good.
33
00:02:22,680 --> 00:02:26,320
So you won't want to see Gary's
postcard that came this morning.
34
00:02:26,320 --> 00:02:31,280
A lovely postcard
written in Gary's lovely, fair hand.
35
00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:38,200
Oh, dear! Do you concede?
Yes, I concede. Thank you.
36
00:02:38,840 --> 00:02:41,880
"Hey, really enjoying
life out here so far.
37
00:02:41,880 --> 00:02:45,720
"Plans all a bit up in the air.
Thinking of you all. Love G."
38
00:02:45,720 --> 00:02:50,000
That's it?
After three months he sends me that?
39
00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:51,640
Right, well, forget him. Seriously.
40
00:02:51,640 --> 00:02:55,680
Good girly.
I will move on. I will be a new me.
41
00:02:55,680 --> 00:02:57,800
Get fit, lose weight.
42
00:02:57,800 --> 00:02:59,600
A new me shall reigneth.
43
00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:04,320
Like a phoenix emerging
from the ashes of my old life
and flapping off.
44
00:03:04,320 --> 00:03:07,360
Behold! I am woman.
And Phoenix. Both.
45
00:03:07,360 --> 00:03:09,760
But not in a mutanty way.
46
00:03:09,760 --> 00:03:13,320
And yes, I have indeed
lost my train of thought.
47
00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:14,840
Oh, no, it's Tilly.
48
00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:20,640
Buongiorno peeps. Ugh, Stevie, looks
like there's a tramp in the shop.
49
00:03:20,640 --> 00:03:24,000
Where? Oh, the tramp is me.
50
00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:27,960
You have majorly let yourself go.
Slackarooni cheese.
51
00:03:27,960 --> 00:03:31,760
So, Queen Kong, I bring
good tidings of great joy.
52
00:03:31,760 --> 00:03:36,880
Stinky Von Tusse is in town
and she wants to luncheonate at
the new Sushi place. Will you come?
53
00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:39,440
It's going to be tremendulent.
54
00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:43,280
Stinky was the most
brillo head girl ever.
55
00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:46,320
Once...do you remember?
56
00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:50,240
She Immacked a squirrel!
57
00:03:51,560 --> 00:03:54,280
It was the funniest thing.
58
00:03:54,280 --> 00:03:55,960
You'll come, you'll come?
59
00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:59,400
No hush, no hush, no hush, no
hush up, you have to come.
60
00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:02,720
So I don't look the saddo
in front of Stinkles. Yes!
61
00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:06,280
OK, I am now going to power walk
back to the orifice.
62
00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:09,440
Cha, cha cha, cha cha, kerpow!
63
00:04:09,440 --> 00:04:14,280
You've got to be more assertive,
Miranda. What about the new you?
64
00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:16,720
She'll start on Monday.
65
00:04:16,720 --> 00:04:20,520
Don't judge me with your little
eyes, I've been very depressed.
66
00:04:20,520 --> 00:04:23,000
I've been very depressed!
67
00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:26,440
Look at the state of me.
68
00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:30,280
Watching telly all day
with friends made of fruit.
69
00:04:30,280 --> 00:04:31,920
Are you enjoying it, Gordon?
70
00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:38,440
I look like a tramp. I've got to
go to Tilly's lunch, Gary's gone.
71
00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:41,760
I suppose it couldn't get worse.
72
00:04:41,760 --> 00:04:45,600
Darling, I've left your father
and I'm coming to live with you.
73
00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:48,640
Oh, Mum. Not again?
74
00:04:48,640 --> 00:04:53,240
He's bound to crawl back tomorrow.
It's nude fondue night.
75
00:04:54,760 --> 00:04:58,320
Don't worry, darling, you won't
even notice I'm here.
76
00:04:58,320 --> 00:05:01,720
Guaranteed I'll be so irritated I'll
have to leave in under 30 seconds.
77
00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:04,000
Set your watches... go.
78
00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:06,680
Have you been cutting your own hair?
Three seconds, already annoyed.
79
00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:15,040
And look at all this. You should
have a bath, then get some air,
have a lovely what I call walk.
80
00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:17,240
It IS a walk.
81
00:05:17,240 --> 00:05:20,120
Mum... Sorry, won't interfere.
82
00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:23,920
If she calls the remote controls
a silly name... You'll have to show
me how to work these.
83
00:05:23,920 --> 00:05:30,160
Who needs three doobries? Right!
That's it. Why's it so annoying?
20 seconds.
84
00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:32,080
Doobries!
85
00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:39,000
So, forget Monday, look,
I'm starting now.
86
00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:40,880
Are you ready to speak to Heather?
87
00:05:40,880 --> 00:05:46,360
Please go ahead. What have you
done today to make you feel proud?
88
00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:49,920
Heather, Miss Heather Small,
hello to you. Hello.
89
00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:53,080
Today I have begun the new me.
90
00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:55,200
Mum and Tilly won't
know what's hit them.
91
00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:58,480
I'm going to be
the kind of woman who
92
00:05:58,480 --> 00:06:02,680
leaps out of bed and just does that,
and their hair looks perfect.
93
00:06:02,680 --> 00:06:07,720
They then grab a
home made muffin out of their
Cath Kidston polka dot biscuit tin
94
00:06:07,720 --> 00:06:14,320
and head to work, wearing trainers
at the bottom of a skirt suit
to show off they've power walked in.
95
00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:16,440
They have pot plants
that don't die on them.
96
00:06:16,440 --> 00:06:22,120
Their fruit bowl isn't full of
three-week-old rotting pears
because they actually eat the fruit.
97
00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:25,920
They have day bags,
evening bags and a clutch.
98
00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:29,520
They just grab a wheatgerm smoothie
in between work because that's enough
99
00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:34,080
to keep them going, even though at
lunch they jogged, and enjoyed it,
100
00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:39,280
because they don't have flesh
that moves independently
to their main frame.
101
00:06:39,760 --> 00:06:45,720
And finally, they have easy access
to pens to finish a crossword at a
bar where the man they decided to
102
00:06:45,720 --> 00:06:51,680
take as a lover the night before says
to them, "Hey, last night was great."
103
00:06:51,680 --> 00:06:53,760
You know, I'll be that kind of woman.
104
00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:57,480
Yeah, good luck with that.
Darling, I'm doing a whites wash,
105
00:06:57,480 --> 00:07:00,840
if your pants are dirty,
pop them off, I'll pop them in.
106
00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:08,000
Right, well,
that's not the best of starts.
107
00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:12,480
She'll have to go, but don't worry,
the new me shall still reigneth.
108
00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:15,200
Look at her
forming before your very eyes.
109
00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:23,880
Now excuse me, I'm off to have sushi
with Tilly and Stinky
and my new trinkety necklace.
110
00:07:23,880 --> 00:07:26,680
A cha cha cha, a cha ch cha.
111
00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:29,160
A cha cha cha. Ooh yeah!
112
00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:34,240
Eight down.
113
00:07:34,240 --> 00:07:37,520
"Remove vehicles,
reversing at back of depot."
114
00:07:37,520 --> 00:07:40,920
Oh, well that could be van...lorry.
115
00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:44,440
Hang on, I know this.
I can so get this.
116
00:07:44,440 --> 00:07:48,360
It's... Sub-tract, of course.
Of course, of course.
117
00:07:48,360 --> 00:07:51,480
Right, let's eat. It all
looks edible von guzzlebucket.
118
00:07:51,480 --> 00:07:55,680
I'm starvington stations.
Yup, Hungelos McMungelos.
119
00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:23,880
Stinky, do you remember the time
that I got locked in the boot...
120
00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:29,040
I'm sorry.
Bear with, bear with, bear with...
121
00:08:29,040 --> 00:08:31,600
Oh, fabulasmic.
122
00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:35,200
VIP invite to
scoffulate dans la cite.
123
00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:40,920
So, Queen Kong, what news with you?
Just focusing on my business.
124
00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:45,400
We do trinkets and nicknaks now.
125
00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:47,960
This is one of ours.
126
00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:50,720
Gorge,
and are we lucksville in love?
127
00:08:52,320 --> 00:08:57,120
Actually, I did get a postcard from
an old beau, Gary, this morning.
128
00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:01,720
Oh, bear with, bear with,
bear with...
129
00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:10,040
"Call now
for a new tariff breakdown."
130
00:09:10,040 --> 00:09:11,960
Oh, dear.
131
00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:15,040
Sounds like you've lost him
to of his travels.
132
00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:18,600
That's fine, because I'm totally...
can I have it back? I'm so over him.
133
00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:21,000
You're so not over him. I am.
She's so not over him.
134
00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:24,280
I am. I'm a whole new me.
135
00:09:24,280 --> 00:09:25,800
Oh, no! I'm stuck.
136
00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:32,400
Sorry, sorry.
137
00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:39,520
Just undo it at the back. I can't.
I'm so sorry, sorry.
138
00:09:46,200 --> 00:09:49,240
Excuse me, I'm going to actually
have to mount your travelator.
139
00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:51,200
Oh, Queen Kong, you're such a dweeb.
140
00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:54,520
Hello, afternoon.
141
00:09:54,520 --> 00:09:56,040
I've unhooked.
142
00:09:56,040 --> 00:09:59,920
Sorry about this, sorry, sorry.
143
00:09:59,920 --> 00:10:03,640
I'll just finish the circuit.
Saves walking.
144
00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:08,320
Utterly mortifying.
Sorry about that. Can I...?
Whilst I'm here.
145
00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:11,200
Hello again.
146
00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:12,960
Right, where were we?
147
00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:15,400
Leaving. Quick.
148
00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:22,280
I could woof a gateaux but just
a peppermint tea for me.
149
00:10:22,280 --> 00:10:26,960
Yah, I could scoffulate a puddington
but just a skinny cap, please.
150
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:33,760
I could inhale a mealy vanilly
but, um...
151
00:10:34,240 --> 00:10:37,000
just a crumble, please.
152
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:39,320
You still feeling bad about Gary?
153
00:10:39,320 --> 00:10:41,360
Can people stop asking me that?
I'm fine.
154
00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:44,160
Good cos there's a new chef
arriving any minute.
155
00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:46,600
I was going to tell you. Really?
156
00:10:46,600 --> 00:10:48,880
Well, d'you know, that's good.
157
00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:51,600
Now I know Gary's not coming back.
158
00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:56,360
Good, gone are the days where
I pathetically make an idiot
of myself over some hunky chef.
159
00:10:56,360 --> 00:10:57,880
That must be him.
160
00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:15,560
Clive, can you switch that music off?
Sorry.
161
00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:21,240
Hi. Clive is it?
Yes, nice to meet you at last.
162
00:11:21,240 --> 00:11:24,160
Girls. Hola.
163
00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:26,240
Hello.
164
00:11:26,240 --> 00:11:28,360
Why am I curtseying?
165
00:11:29,880 --> 00:11:31,960
I've just got to keep going now.
166
00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:34,400
How do you do?
167
00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:44,480
Sorry.
168
00:11:45,480 --> 00:11:47,560
Sorry. That was my dog.
169
00:11:47,560 --> 00:11:49,080
What was? That noise.
170
00:11:49,080 --> 00:11:51,800
I thought that was a chair scraping.
It was.
171
00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:53,680
Then what was your dog?
172
00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:55,760
I don't have a dog.
173
00:11:55,760 --> 00:12:00,160
You said the noise was your dog.
It might have been YOUR dog.
174
00:12:00,160 --> 00:12:03,280
I don't have a dog.
Well, stop saying you do.
175
00:12:05,880 --> 00:12:09,280
Right, so everyone, this is Danny.
176
00:12:09,280 --> 00:12:12,560
# I got chills, they're multiplying
177
00:12:12,560 --> 00:12:15,360
# And I'm losing control. #
178
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:20,000
I always get Danny from Grease
with the bike leathers, the accent.
179
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:22,840
# You better shape up
180
00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:24,760
# Cos I need a man
181
00:12:24,760 --> 00:12:27,560
# And my heart is set on you
182
00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:31,360
# You're the one that I want,
You're the one I want...#
183
00:12:31,360 --> 00:12:33,760
We've stopped.
184
00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:36,800
# The one I need, oh, yes, indeed. #
185
00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:41,680
Sorry, it's a weirdly hard tune to
stop. # You're the one that I want...
I'm off again.
186
00:12:41,680 --> 00:12:44,320
# Oo-oo-ooh, honey. #
187
00:12:44,320 --> 00:12:46,440
Look, there's a thing...
188
00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:55,040
Stevie, Stevie, Stevie,
Stevie, Stevie.
189
00:12:55,040 --> 00:12:58,920
I'm with much news,
which I shall now birth.
Ready to receive, caller.
190
00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:03,360
A new chef has arrived at the
restaurant who you could happily
compare to some kind of god,
191
00:13:03,360 --> 00:13:08,480
and he would be very much
in the running for the new me
to take as her lover.
192
00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:11,040
But the new me is currently
worse than the old me.
193
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:13,560
This is not possible.
I farted in front of him,
194
00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:16,600
blamed it on an imaginary dog
and sung in his face.
195
00:13:18,520 --> 00:13:19,800
I give up.
196
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:23,720
Maybe you should try that
life coach again. No, thanks.
197
00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:28,680
Imagine your anxieties
filling the balloon.
198
00:13:33,720 --> 00:13:37,200
my anxieties are everywhere.
Save yourselves!
199
00:13:37,840 --> 00:13:43,040
Right, I'm going to start a spring
clean, even though it is
what I call, November.
200
00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:50,200
And are you getting a new bed?
We can't both sleep on the lilo.
Maybe one of us should leave.
201
00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:54,400
Where would you go? Don't worry,
if nude fondue doesn't make your
202
00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:58,280
father want me back then he'll
be desperate for my kinky quiche.
203
00:13:59,400 --> 00:14:01,720
Do you want me to get you a bed?
204
00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:04,000
No, I'll get my own bed, thank you.
205
00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:07,160
Don't forget your keys. I'm not six!
206
00:14:12,080 --> 00:14:13,960
I forgot my keys!
207
00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:20,240
Don't panic, we'll force her out,
what does she hate?
208
00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:23,280
I don't know. I'm too depressed
to think straight.
209
00:14:23,360 --> 00:14:28,360
Ghosts, she hates ghosts.
But how could that work?
210
00:14:28,360 --> 00:14:31,520
Don't worry about me.
I'll just be fine,
211
00:14:31,520 --> 00:14:32,840
I'll just...
212
00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:37,880
Yeah, this is nice.
213
00:14:38,880 --> 00:14:44,440
If you like the bed, there's an
offer, free duvet...
it's 15 tog. Tog.
214
00:14:44,440 --> 00:14:46,600
It's a funny word, isn't it?
215
00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:48,440
Yes, suppose it is.
216
00:14:51,880 --> 00:14:54,320
Oh, those look fun.
217
00:14:54,520 --> 00:15:00,920
All you'd need would be a ball pool
to land in for mornings to
be a total joy. Ball pool!
218
00:15:04,840 --> 00:15:10,440
Yeah, they're great for kids.
Yes, I wasn't thinking for me.
I was, I was.
219
00:15:10,440 --> 00:15:13,600
This is a nice one. Try it.
220
00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:15,320
I'll just help this gentleman.
221
00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:18,840
It's got a lovely rigid frame.
222
00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:22,480
The bed, not the gentleman. Get off!
223
00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:30,920
Excuse me, could you tell me what
tog these duvets are? Oh, I don't...
224
00:15:30,920 --> 00:15:33,480
Well, 15 tog. And do the beds come
ready assembled? I have no idea.
225
00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:38,920
Stop asking me questions. Well,
there's no need for that attitude.
226
00:15:38,920 --> 00:15:41,120
Excuse me, are you the manager?
227
00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:43,920
This woman has been quite rude.
I'm not being...
228
00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:48,160
Don't argue with the customer.
Must be the new girl. I'm so sorry,
I'll sort this out myself.
229
00:15:48,160 --> 00:15:50,280
Where's your name badge?
Actually, there's been...
230
00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:52,080
This must be you.
231
00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:57,160
I need... Don't argue back,
I need you down the warehouse
now, they're over-stretched.
232
00:15:57,160 --> 00:15:58,760
But... Come on, hurry up!
233
00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:08,080
I think this has got
a bit out of hand.
234
00:16:09,880 --> 00:16:12,800
So, have you got a boyfriend, Sandy?
235
00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:14,400
Sandy, that's me.
236
00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:17,040
I don't know.
237
00:16:17,040 --> 00:16:20,640
Does Sandy have a boyfriend? I'd
know, wouldn't I, being Sandy?
238
00:16:20,640 --> 00:16:23,040
Does Sandy have a boyfriend?
239
00:16:23,040 --> 00:16:25,680
No, she doesn't. Good.
240
00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:30,760
Cos we were all saying' yesterday we
should like totally renounce men.
Do you know what I'm saying?
241
00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:35,280
I do know what you're sayin',
sounds great. I've caught her accent.
242
00:16:35,280 --> 00:16:40,880
Renouncing men...
bring it on, my sisters.
243
00:16:40,880 --> 00:16:44,560
Yeah, cos we don't need males.
In't that right?
244
00:16:44,560 --> 00:16:49,920
In't that just right, though, innit?
Yeah, I've had enough of men...innit.
245
00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:53,600
That's it. Go girl.
Oh, do you want me to go?
246
00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:57,840
Oh, I see. Sorry, you go girl.
No, I go. Go me.
247
00:16:57,840 --> 00:17:02,400
Cos I'm saying to myself this,
Sandy, I was saying, Sandy, you
248
00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:05,600
my girl, will not be pushed around
no more.
249
00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:10,000
D'you know what I mean? I do,
yes, because I just said it.
250
00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:12,160
What are you doing back here?
251
00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:18,000
I'm Sandy. No, you're not. Says who?
I do. Oh, do you now,
you diddly doo?
252
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:19,720
I've gone Irish.
253
00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:22,080
I think you should leave.
254
00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:27,880
Not before I show you the bed that
I want, and at a staff discount.
255
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,760
Never let them
push you round, girls, yeah?
256
00:17:29,760 --> 00:17:32,400
D'you get me? Go me. Go Sandy.
257
00:17:36,960 --> 00:17:38,720
Where have you been?
258
00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:41,960
I did a four-hour shift
at the bed shop.
259
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:45,720
But more importantly I have
discovered my inner Sandy.
260
00:17:45,720 --> 00:17:49,440
Yo, girlfriend. I already like Sandy.
261
00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:55,000
She's wicked. And she says, well
I say, we, I, am renouncing men.
262
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:57,040
I'm renouncing men. Amen.
263
00:17:57,040 --> 00:18:00,600
A man. A man! Sorry.
264
00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:03,520
I see. A man. Hello. Hi.
265
00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:06,160
Clive said you worked here?
Nice shop.
266
00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:08,440
Thanks. Have you seen my trinkets?
267
00:18:08,440 --> 00:18:09,640
Not a euphemism.
268
00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:15,320
I'm looking for someone
to show me around.
269
00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:17,720
Clive also said you're
the only single lady in town.
270
00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:20,480
Well, I'm also sing...
271
00:18:21,280 --> 00:18:25,400
Yeah, that's me.
Because you're renouncing men?
272
00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:29,880
Ah, yes. OK. That's a shame.
273
00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:34,240
What are you doing?
You can't renounce him!
274
00:18:34,760 --> 00:18:37,800
I can't suddenly un-renounce,
he'll think I'm odd and confused.
275
00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:41,240
Which I am, but we must hide this.
276
00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:44,120
Sandy isn't odd and confused.
Go get your Danny.
277
00:18:44,120 --> 00:18:50,800
Oh! Sandy and Danny. And if
you don't go for it, I'll whip out
my allure. Don't even...
278
00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:56,280
Now, I don't like getting a no.
I'd say yes.
279
00:18:56,280 --> 00:18:56,480
Are you renouncing all men?
280
00:18:56,480 --> 00:18:58,880
What if I asked you out tonight?
281
00:18:58,880 --> 00:19:06,800
I would say, you are officially
renounced but there is a clause
in my renouncement that
282
00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:09,400
says this.
If somebody is new to an area,
283
00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:14,240
and asks a woman out for a drink
on the first night,
the aforementioned woman
284
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:21,520
mentioned heretofore is obliged,
nay commanded, nay must accept.
285
00:19:21,520 --> 00:19:27,920
That's a good clause.
I like a headstrong,
independent woman. Well, hello.
286
00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:31,720
My last girlfriend lived with her
mom. Pretty freaky, huh?
287
00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:35,560
Miranda,
I've washed your control pants.
288
00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:38,720
That should suck it all back in.
289
00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:41,360
This is my cleaner. Well, excuse me.
290
00:19:41,360 --> 00:19:42,920
(He's asking me out.)
Well, hello,
291
00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:54,880
I am cleaner. Miss Penelopia.
292
00:19:56,360 --> 00:19:59,720
And where are you from? Poland?
293
00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:05,760
And I was coming down
because I needed polish.
294
00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:08,720
Imagine.
I am Polish, and I forgot my polish.
295
00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:16,040
OK, so I'll see you later. 6.30?
Lovely.
296
00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:22,560
Ooooh!
297
00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:28,360
Mum, make sure you're out of the flat
tonight. Why because he might
come back?
298
00:20:28,360 --> 00:20:31,600
He might. He might. Oh, he might.
299
00:20:33,280 --> 00:20:37,800
Hurry up, he's downstairs. I can't
believe you slept all afternoon.
300
00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:42,040
I just meant to try my new bed.
One size tights does not fit all.
301
00:20:48,720 --> 00:20:51,040
Oh, yes, I forgot to say.
302
00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:58,280
There's a massive goat in my sitting
room and you just forgot to say.
303
00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:00,640
It's good, isn't it?
304
00:21:00,640 --> 00:21:04,120
You said your mum hates goats.
305
00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:07,360
Ghosts.
306
00:21:07,360 --> 00:21:12,920
I said ghosts.
Who has any strong opinions on goats?
307
00:21:14,120 --> 00:21:16,880
I did think it was odd.
308
00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:19,240
And you didn't check before, how?
309
00:21:19,240 --> 00:21:23,880
Don't worry, I am going out,
I just bought a few more
things to spruce...
310
00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:30,000
Scary, isn't it? Grrr, a goat.
311
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:31,920
Hello?
312
00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:33,960
Quick!
313
00:21:36,560 --> 00:21:37,840
Hello!
314
00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:41,000
Hi. Are y'all Ready?
315
00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:45,800
Yes. Let me just grab my clutch...
clutch bag.
316
00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:49,600
Good word, clutch. Isn't it?
317
00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:52,000
Yeah, clutch.
318
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:54,240
What was that?
319
00:21:54,240 --> 00:22:00,800
M-m-m-m-me, I'm so excited.
M-m-m-m-m! Shall we go?
320
00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:07,360
W-w-w-w-wait for me-e-e-e!
321
00:22:09,200 --> 00:22:12,120
# Tell me more, tell me more...! #
322
00:22:12,120 --> 00:22:14,240
Wow, what a beautiful place.
323
00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:15,720
Wow!
324
00:22:15,720 --> 00:22:19,320
Can I use your loo?
It's through there.
325
00:22:22,080 --> 00:22:25,000
Did you make these? What do you use?
326
00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:29,840
Umm... Flour, food...
327
00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:32,040
hobs...nobs.
328
00:22:32,480 --> 00:22:35,320
Nutmeg. Nutmeg.
329
00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:37,760
OH!
330
00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:39,560
I'm a nut for nutmeg.
331
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:46,720
Mum, what are you doing here? Sorry.
I didn't think he'd come back.
Your father's changed the locks.
332
00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:50,160
Not interested.
Quick, get in the bedroom.
333
00:22:52,920 --> 00:22:56,080
Hello. Do you want to take a seat?
334
00:22:56,560 --> 00:23:00,680
Drink? Scotch if you have one.
I have to say I think I
335
00:23:00,680 --> 00:23:03,520
got you all wrong.
336
00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:07,160
Use the nice tumblers. What?
337
00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:12,400
Use the nice tumblers...
I said to myself.
338
00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:13,600
OK.
339
00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:15,560
Get out!
340
00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:17,600
There you go. Thanks.
341
00:23:17,600 --> 00:23:21,240
I'm glad you came out tonight.
Yes, me too.
342
00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:34,320
One doesn't always feel
in the mood to renounce, hence
the unrenouncement clause.
343
00:23:38,360 --> 00:23:41,000
Can I get another Scotch?
344
00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:43,160
There you go.
345
00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:47,080
Wow. You seem to have everything
under control.
346
00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:49,080
That's very sexy.
347
00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:53,800
Sorry, I'll have to stop you there.
348
00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:57,560
Oh, that's disappointing.
You're quite something.
349
00:23:57,560 --> 00:24:02,360
So they say. Can I call you?
Sure, you've got my number.
350
00:24:02,360 --> 00:24:03,640
Ciao.
351
00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:07,680
He is in my palm.
352
00:24:08,760 --> 00:24:11,960
# It's raining men, hallelujah
353
00:24:11,960 --> 00:24:15,760
# It's raining men, amen
354
00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:19,840
# I'm gonna go out,
I'm gonna let myself get
355
00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:24,080
# Absolutely soaking wet
356
00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:27,880
# It's raining men, hallelujah
357
00:24:27,880 --> 00:24:29,840
# It's raining men... #
358
00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:55,440
To mock or belittle, nine letters.
359
00:24:55,440 --> 00:24:57,160
Disparage.
360
00:25:00,520 --> 00:25:02,360
Who are you?
361
00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:05,760
Hey. Last night was great.
362
00:25:06,440 --> 00:25:08,080
I did it!
363
00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:11,040
Not so much a dweeb now.
364
00:25:11,040 --> 00:25:14,560
Although there was
one thing that was missing.
365
00:25:16,680 --> 00:25:18,400
Gary!
366
00:25:19,040 --> 00:25:20,440
Hi.
367
00:25:28,640 --> 00:25:30,640
Hello.
368
00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:35,240
Gary sent the postcard after he got
there but it only just arrived.
Sorry.
369
00:25:35,240 --> 00:25:41,000
And now I'm feeling teary because
I've been thinking about him for
months. Why's he suddenly back?
370
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:43,120
I think he said he got the sack.
Really?
371
00:25:43,120 --> 00:25:46,160
We need to find out his situation.
Yes, but what do I do about...
372
00:25:46,160 --> 00:25:51,560
Listen, I've been let go. Gary's
contract's still open.
Gary's got his back!
373
00:25:51,560 --> 00:25:56,040
But if I'm staying,
I don't want this to be awkward.
Awkward? This? Awkward?
374
00:25:56,040 --> 00:25:59,920
Who's awkward? Funny word, awkward.
375
00:26:00,680 --> 00:26:03,480
Something awkward
about the word awkward.
376
00:26:04,280 --> 00:26:06,560
Clutch!
377
00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:09,680
No, sorry I'm cas'...
378
00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:11,640
You're acting weird.
379
00:26:11,640 --> 00:26:14,800
Ask Gary if he has a girlfriend.
380
00:26:14,800 --> 00:26:17,560
So, what does your girlfriend think
of you leaving Hong Kong?
381
00:26:17,560 --> 00:26:22,080
I don't have a girlfriend.
Gary was telling me about this
job in Birmingham.
382
00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:25,840
I might check it out if that's cool.
Of course. This was only...
383
00:26:25,840 --> 00:26:27,840
Ask if Gary's considered the jobs
in Birmingham?
384
00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:32,640
Have you considered the joggers, that
you might burn in them? Backfired.
385
00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:37,200
I'd better go,
I have a hunch I might have got
in the middle of something here.
386
00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:40,240
Us? No, no we're just friends.
387
00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:43,760
He's only just got
back from Hong Kong. Right.
388
00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:44,920
Goodbye.
389
00:26:49,120 --> 00:26:54,560
So, things have changed a bit.
It's just the new me.
390
00:26:54,560 --> 00:26:59,560
Miranda, I think that goat
ate your bunion insole.
391
00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:04,120
Excuse me, we need to talk about the
damage to this man's restaurant.
392
00:27:04,120 --> 00:27:09,520
That's her. I'm Sandy, stop
impersonating me or I'll report you.
393
00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:12,680
Kid's ball pool for Miranda?
394
00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:14,480
Welcome back.
395
00:27:15,520 --> 00:27:18,520
I think I preferred
the old you anyway.
396
00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:20,200
Come here.
397
00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:25,320
Ball pool? Yes. Follow me.
398
00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:17,600
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
399
00:28:17,600 --> 00:28:20,080
E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk
32703
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof