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MUSIC: When Johnny Comes
Marching Home Again
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NEWSREEL: It's Support the Troops
Week here in Wilmington, Ohio,
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plus it's homecoming weekend for
Wilmington's Fighting Quakers
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and don't forget the big county corn
festival is just around the corner.
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If this is any indication of how
Mr Trump's gonna do,
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it's gonna be
a landslide for Trump.
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Also a reminder about that big
Wilmington gun festival,
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which is going to be held at the
Roberts Center
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at the end of the month.
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Do you want to see my 357?
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A lot of people say that
Trump is a clown.
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He won't be when he's president.
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Around here I ain't heard nobody
for Clinton.
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And speaking of guns,
and the people who want to take them
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away from us, controversial
filmmaker Michael Moore will
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perform a one-man show tonight
at the Murphy Theatre.
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Trump lost $914 million, but he got
out of a lot of taxes for that too,
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so that's probably just a good idea.
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You know, he didn't get it handed
down to him like Hillary did
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from her parents.
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Ohio Republicans have tried to
block Moore from performing in the
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state, with one local leader
threatening to cut public funds
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for the theatre if the show goes on.
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I think it's gonna to be close
and I think that Hillary's
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going to have dead people vote.
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There's no word from the
theatre's benefactor,
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conservative icon Glenn Beck,
where he stands on the issue.
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Michael Moore needs to go
at the back.
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'We put the word out,
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'we wanted all Texan people to
come here tonight.
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'We have anybody who's thinking
about voting for Donald Trump?'
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APPLAUSE
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'Good, thank you, welcome.
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'How many people here are
voting for Hillary?'
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APPLAUSE
'Wow.
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'So we've got a good mix
here tonight.
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'Trump voters,
we've got Hillary voters,
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'we've got people who aren't sure
who they're gonna vote for,
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'we've got people who
aren't gonna vote at all.
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'How about third-party people?
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'Anybody voting for a
third-party candidate?'
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APPLAUSE
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'Can I ask you where Aleppo is?
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LAUGHTER
'Just kidding, just kidding.'
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The only thing you need to
know about Wilmington,
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it's the birthplace
of the banana split.
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APPLAUSE
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How about that, huh?
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Hold the nuts!
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LAUGHTER
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Well, Wilmington, Ohio, here, is the
county seat
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of Clinton County, Ohio.
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LAUGHTER
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The irony was not lost on me,
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probably from the first minute
I entered this town.
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It may be called Clinton County,
but it's not Clinton country.
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LAUGHTER
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I mean, seriously, Trump got
four times as many votes here than
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Hillary did in the primary.
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QUIET APPLAUSE
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I'll tell you one thing,
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if this eases your mind at all.
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I have never voted for
Hillary Clinton.
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I voted for Obama in the
primary in 2008,
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and I voted for Bernie
in the primary this year.
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Actually, I never voted for Bill.
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Back then, I think I voted for
Nader in '96 and '92 was probably
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a third-party thing because
Clinton was just too...
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A very conservative Democrat.
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So I've never really voted
for Hillary.
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I am not a Hillary voter.
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LAUGHTER
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Thank you.
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You can applaud that.
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So I met one of the five
Democrats in town...
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LAUGHTER
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And he comes up to me yesterday
and he goes, "Mike, Mike,
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"we've got to do something
about the millennials!
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"They're not gonna vote!
They're not voting!
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"What are we gonna do
about the millennials?"
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And I said, "Well, nothing.
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"We already did something,
we raised them."
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That was a lot!
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We raised this generation,
my generation did, right?
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We raised you, those of you who are
millennials in here.
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But you turned out,
I think, pretty good.
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I think your generation is...
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APPLAUSE
Yes.
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It's not the kids I'm worried about.
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The kids are all right.
LAUGHTER
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It's the angry white guy.
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His days are numbered.
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Total number of white guys
over the age of 35 now in the
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United States - 19 %.
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That's all we are, guys.
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APPLAUSE
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Hey!
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Hey!
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What, they're cheering our demise!
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LAUGHTER
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Our extinction!
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That's what's going on here,
you know that, right?
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We know it, we guys know it.
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We know it's over for us.
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We had a good run. 10,000 years,
wasn't bad, right, guys?
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Right?
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APPLAUSE
It was...
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And now here we are in
the 21st century.
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For the first time ever, there are
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more single women
than married woman.
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Are you aware of this?
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APPLAUSE
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See here, see that, guys?
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Yeah, yeah, cos they don't
need us.
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LAUGHTER
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There's now more women that
go to college than men.
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There's more women in law school
than men.
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APPLAUSE
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Whoa, no!
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CHEERING AND WHISTLING
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I predict anthropologists that
will note the moment it happened,
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when it was clear that men were on
the way out and the women
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were on their way in, and it was the
Super Bowl this past year.
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You know, it's the half-time show,
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Coldplay is playing one of
their nice songs...
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# Ooh, I love you
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# Ooh... #
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And then, Bruno Mars came on
and then that sort of confused
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a lot of guys watching
the half-time show.
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"Ooh, ooh. What is THIS?"
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And then, all of a sudden,
right in the middle of Bruno's song,
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out comes Beyonce and 500 women in
these uniforms,
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with their fists
clenched and raised,
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and their shit kicking boots on,
taking the...
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CHEERING AND WHISTLING
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I was like, "Oh, my...
Wait, that's our game!"
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"What's she doing here?!"
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That's where we're ending up.
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Guys know it and that's why
they're at the Trump rallies!
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And, finally, Mother Nature.
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There are
now less boy babies being born.
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Mother Nature
has looked at the situation,
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has decided that men
are bad for the planet.
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LAUGHTER
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No woman have ever built
a smokestack.
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No woman has invented an
atomic or a hydrogen bomb.
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And no woman, no girls,
go into schools and shoot them up.
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Not a single one of these school
shootings are girls, are they
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How can that be?
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Think about that.
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It's not just school shootings,
it's like,
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women generally don't shoot you...
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LAUGHTER
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..unless you deserve it.
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I mean...
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Usually when a woman shoots her
husband, or her boyfriend,
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some thought has gone into it.
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That's actually true
with most crimes.
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How many female arsonists are there?
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Or burglars?
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Or rapists?
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Is a woman gonna mug you?
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Whatever you're afraid of
does not wear a dress...
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..or a pant suits.
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APPLAUSE
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Oh, man. See, but that's...
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You must understand the Trump voter.
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These are legitimate concerns.
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Legitimate concerns!
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I think...
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We're laughing a lot about this
stuff and, thank you,
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Trump voters, for letting us have
a little bit of laughter over this,
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but I actually wrote something
today while I was sitting
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here at the official hotel
of the Murphy Theatre
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and the Holiday Inn Express.
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LAUGHTER
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Can I read this to you?
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Do you mind if I...? I just want...
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I just wrote this, I just
want to read it to you.
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APPLAUSE
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Because I know a lot of people in
Michigan that are planning to vote
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for Trump and they don't
necessarily like him that much.
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And they don't necessarily agree
with him.
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They're not racist and rednecks
and...
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They're actually pretty
desperate decent people.
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So I wanted to, sort of... After
talking to a number of them,
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I wanted to write this and...
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Donald Trump came to the
Detroit Economic Club
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and stood there in front of the
Ford Motor executives and said,
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"If you close the factories,
as you're planning to do in Detroit,
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"and build them in Mexico,
I'm gonna put a 35% tariff on
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"those cars when you send them back
and nobody's gonna buy them."
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It was an amazing thing to see.
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No politician,
Republican or Democrat,
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had ever said anything like that
to these executives and it was
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music to the ears of people
in Michigan and Ohio,
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in Pennsylvania, in Wisconsin...
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..the Brexit states.
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You live here in Ohio,
you know what I'm talking about.
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Whether Trump means it or not,
it's kind of irrelevant
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because he's saying things to
people who are hurting.
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And it's why every beaten down,
nameless, forgotten working stiff,
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who used to be part of what was
called the middle-class,
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loves Trump.
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He is the human Molotov cocktail
that they've been waiting for.
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The human hand grenade that they
can legally throw into the system
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that stole their lives from them.
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And on November 8th, election day,
although they've lost their jobs,
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although they've been
closed down by the bank,
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next came the divorce
and now the wife and kids are gone,
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the car has been repo'd,
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they haven't had a real vacation
in years, they're stuck with
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the shitty Obamacare Bronze Plan,
where you can't even get
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a fucking Percocet.
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LAUGHTER
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They've essentially lost
everything they had!
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Except one thing.
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The one thing that doesn't cost them
a cent and is guaranteed to
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them by the American Constitution -
the right to vote.
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They might be penniless,
they might be homeless,
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they might be fucked over
and fucked up,
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it doesn't matter
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because it's equalised on that day.
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A millionaire has the same number of
votes as the person without a job.
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One.
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And there's more of the former
middle class than there are
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in the millionaire class.
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So on November 8th,
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the dispossessed will walk
into the voting booth,
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be handed a ballot, close the
curtain and take that lever,
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or a felt pen, or
touch-screen,
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and put a big FUCKING X in the box
by the name of the man
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who has threatened to upend and
overturn the very system
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that has ruined their lives.
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Donald J Trump.
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They see that the elites who
ruined their lives hate Trump.
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Corporate America hates Trump,
Wall Street hates Trump,
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the career politicians hate Trump,
the media hates Trump...
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00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:09,760
..after they loved him,
and created him,
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00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:11,160
and now hate him.
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Thank you, media.
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The enemy of my enemy is who I'm
voting for on November 8th.
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00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:25,440
Yes, on November 8th, you,
Joe Blow, Steve Blow, Bob Blow,
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00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:28,840
Billy Blow, Billy Bob Blow,
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00:12:28,840 --> 00:12:33,920
all the Blows get to go and blow
up the whole goddam system
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00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:36,760
because it's your right.
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Trump's election is going to be
the biggest "fuck you"
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ever recorded in human history.
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And it will feel...
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..good...
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..for a day.
252
00:12:58,000 --> 00:12:59,640
Maybe a week.
253
00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:03,040
Possibly a month.
254
00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:06,240
And then,
like the Brits...
255
00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:12,600
..who wanted to send a message,
so they voted to leave Europe,
256
00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:15,120
only to find out that if you vote to
leave Europe,
257
00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:17,440
you actually have to leave Europe.
258
00:13:17,440 --> 00:13:20,000
LAUGHTER
259
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:21,480
And now they regret it!
260
00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:27,840
All the Ohioans, Pennsylvanians,
Michiganders and Wisconsinites
261
00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:31,400
of middle England, right,
262
00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:34,880
they all voted to leave and
now they regret it and
263
00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:39,640
over four million of them have
signed a petition to have a do over.
264
00:13:39,640 --> 00:13:41,640
They want another election.
265
00:13:41,640 --> 00:13:46,000
It ain't gonna happen because
you used the ballot
266
00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:48,040
as an anger management tool.
267
00:13:51,040 --> 00:13:52,560
And now you're fucked.
268
00:13:54,120 --> 00:13:56,920
And the rest of Europe,
the rest of Europe, they're like,
269
00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:58,760
"Bye, Felicia!"
270
00:13:58,760 --> 00:13:59,720
LAUGHTER
271
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:04,120
APPLAUSE
272
00:14:05,320 --> 00:14:09,120
So, when the rightfully angry people
of Ohio and Michigan
273
00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:13,560
and Pennsylvania and Wisconsin find
out after a few months in office
274
00:14:13,560 --> 00:14:17,880
that President Trump wasn't going to
do a dam thing for them...
275
00:14:17,880 --> 00:14:19,480
it'll be too late
276
00:14:19,480 --> 00:14:21,800
to do anything about it.
277
00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:23,440
But I get it.
278
00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:25,160
You wanted to send a message.
279
00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:29,440
You had righteous anger
and justifiable anger.
280
00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:34,160
Well, message sent.
281
00:14:36,640 --> 00:14:38,840
Goodnight, America.
282
00:14:38,840 --> 00:14:42,360
You've just elected the last
president of the United States.
283
00:14:48,110 --> 00:14:49,310
So, here's my question.
284
00:14:52,430 --> 00:14:54,950
What is our problem with Hillary?
285
00:14:54,950 --> 00:14:57,910
What's your problem with Hillary?
286
00:14:57,910 --> 00:15:00,590
You know, I mean,
I've got my problems.
287
00:15:00,590 --> 00:15:03,190
I can... I'll tell you what my
problem is with her.
288
00:15:03,190 --> 00:15:04,630
She voted for the Iraq war.
289
00:15:05,710 --> 00:15:08,910
Um...she's too cosy with
Wall Street.
290
00:15:08,910 --> 00:15:10,150
Those are big ones.
291
00:15:11,550 --> 00:15:14,030
We don't really talk about the
issues, do we?
292
00:15:15,230 --> 00:15:18,070
Whenever they talk about Hillary - I
mean, anybody talks about Hillary,
293
00:15:18,070 --> 00:15:19,910
it's about how you like her or
don't like her,
294
00:15:19,910 --> 00:15:22,470
and the people don't like her and
that's on the right and the left,
295
00:15:22,470 --> 00:15:25,070
don't like her. What is this about
her being likeable?
296
00:15:25,070 --> 00:15:28,230
You're not going to the voting booth
to vote for a friend.
297
00:15:28,230 --> 00:15:31,270
I want her to be my friend.
No, I don't want to my friend.
298
00:15:31,270 --> 00:15:35,110
I want them not to like her up on
Capitol Hill.
299
00:15:35,110 --> 00:15:38,750
I want the people she's negotiating
with not to like her.
300
00:15:38,750 --> 00:15:41,510
You don't want somebody all
likeable. "Sure, whatever you say.
301
00:15:41,510 --> 00:15:43,230
"OK, I'll sign here."
302
00:15:46,190 --> 00:15:48,950
What else? What are the other knocks
on Hillary?
303
00:15:48,950 --> 00:15:51,430
Not trustworthy.
Right? We hear that a lot.
304
00:15:51,430 --> 00:15:56,190
She's not trustworthy. How did she
prove her distrustworthiness to you?
305
00:15:56,190 --> 00:16:00,030
Did she promise to water the plants
for you while you were gone,
306
00:16:00,030 --> 00:16:03,070
and then didn't? I'm talking about
differences.
307
00:16:03,070 --> 00:16:05,030
I mean, "Well, she flip-flops",
or whatever.
308
00:16:05,030 --> 00:16:07,870
Well, everybody changes,
everybody evolves.
309
00:16:07,870 --> 00:16:09,870
I hope they do, right?
310
00:16:09,870 --> 00:16:12,030
We want our Trump voter friends in
here tonight,
311
00:16:12,030 --> 00:16:14,350
we're asking them to maybe change.
312
00:16:14,350 --> 00:16:15,750
If you just stay in cement,
313
00:16:17,030 --> 00:16:18,630
it's like, OK, so she's learned.
314
00:16:18,630 --> 00:16:21,750
She was against...she fought gay
marriage and then she was for it.
315
00:16:21,750 --> 00:16:25,350
Well, I'd rather that, than staying
against gay marriage.
316
00:16:25,350 --> 00:16:27,430
I don't think that's a bad thing.
317
00:16:27,430 --> 00:16:29,470
She said her Iraq war vote
was wrong.
318
00:16:29,470 --> 00:16:32,630
She's never done anything more wrong
than that.
319
00:16:32,630 --> 00:16:36,350
OK, it's not exactly, "I'm sorry",
but that's pretty...
320
00:16:36,350 --> 00:16:40,630
OK, she's a politician,
I accept that. What else?
321
00:16:40,630 --> 00:16:42,670
What are the other knocks
on Hillary?
322
00:16:44,350 --> 00:16:46,710
Benghazi. OK, Benghazi, yes.
323
00:16:46,710 --> 00:16:48,830
She got up in the middle of
the night
324
00:16:48,830 --> 00:16:50,910
and personally planned
with Isis,
325
00:16:50,910 --> 00:16:53,470
which she and Obama created,
326
00:16:53,470 --> 00:16:55,790
according to Trump,
they invented Isis,
327
00:16:56,950 --> 00:17:00,950
and they planned this attack to kill
our people there
328
00:17:00,950 --> 00:17:03,190
at the consulate in Benghazi.
329
00:17:03,190 --> 00:17:04,870
'Cleared six times!'
330
00:17:04,870 --> 00:17:07,190
Oh, she's been cleared of the
charges six times?
331
00:17:07,190 --> 00:17:08,270
That's not enough!
332
00:17:08,270 --> 00:17:10,230
LAUGHTER
333
00:17:10,230 --> 00:17:12,190
You have to be...if you're
Hillary Clinton,
334
00:17:12,190 --> 00:17:15,110
you have to be
cleared eight times.
335
00:17:15,110 --> 00:17:17,910
'The Clinton Foundation!'
Oh, the Clinton Foundation?
336
00:17:17,910 --> 00:17:19,830
Well, thank God there's a
Clinton Foundation.
337
00:17:19,830 --> 00:17:22,110
Look at all the good they've done.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
338
00:17:22,110 --> 00:17:23,310
You know?
339
00:17:24,830 --> 00:17:26,030
I mean...
340
00:17:26,030 --> 00:17:27,750
APPLAUSE CONTINUES
341
00:17:29,830 --> 00:17:31,870
And if what they say is true,
342
00:17:31,870 --> 00:17:35,030
and so they get to have a meeting
with Hillary, what's their meeting?
343
00:17:35,030 --> 00:17:36,430
She's still Hillary Clinton.
344
00:17:36,430 --> 00:17:38,790
It's not like they get to go in
there and say,
345
00:17:38,790 --> 00:17:43,030
PUTS ON ACCENT:
"I need you to bomb...I need
you to bomb Yemen."
346
00:17:43,030 --> 00:17:45,070
SOFT LAUGHTER
347
00:17:45,070 --> 00:17:47,470
"OK, how much did you give the
Clinton Foundation?"
348
00:17:47,470 --> 00:17:50,550
"I gave the Clinton Foundation
$50 million."
349
00:17:50,550 --> 00:17:51,990
"Call in the air strikes."
350
00:17:51,990 --> 00:17:54,270
That's not what's going on.
351
00:17:54,270 --> 00:17:56,590
Generally, what the
Obama administration
352
00:17:56,590 --> 00:17:59,310
State Department has done -
not everything -
353
00:17:59,310 --> 00:18:01,230
has been good for the world.
354
00:18:01,230 --> 00:18:03,990
The world likes us a little bit
better than when
355
00:18:03,990 --> 00:18:07,190
George W Bush was in the
White House. Right? So...
356
00:18:07,190 --> 00:18:08,470
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
357
00:18:13,910 --> 00:18:16,670
But what else? Remember, I'm not a
Hillary voter, so what else,
358
00:18:16,670 --> 00:18:19,950
what else? 'She forgot to tell us
she was sick.'
359
00:18:19,950 --> 00:18:22,070
Yes, that one.
360
00:18:22,070 --> 00:18:24,230
She wouldn't tell us she had
pneumonia,
361
00:18:24,230 --> 00:18:27,230
and I want to say something
about that.
362
00:18:27,230 --> 00:18:31,110
I just feel bad that she didn't tell
the truth about her pneumonia,
363
00:18:32,430 --> 00:18:36,230
and what I feel bad about is not her
being a liar, but that she
364
00:18:37,390 --> 00:18:41,510
has got to a point in her life where
she can't even trust us.
365
00:18:41,510 --> 00:18:43,430
If she had just said,
"I've got pneumonia
366
00:18:43,430 --> 00:18:45,110
"and I've got to take the
weekend off"
367
00:18:45,110 --> 00:18:47,430
what would the response have been?
368
00:18:47,430 --> 00:18:51,910
It would have been, it takes a
village, right?
369
00:18:51,910 --> 00:18:53,710
What she taught us.
370
00:18:53,710 --> 00:18:57,430
She can't quite trust that about the
United States of America.
371
00:18:58,470 --> 00:19:00,590
That's a sad commentary on us.
372
00:19:02,230 --> 00:19:03,630
That's not really on her.
373
00:19:04,630 --> 00:19:07,870
Can't we start saying something nice
about her?
374
00:19:07,870 --> 00:19:09,990
You know, even the Trump people in
here, you know,
375
00:19:09,990 --> 00:19:12,030
or conservative
people, Bernie people?
376
00:19:12,030 --> 00:19:14,150
Can't you say something nice about
Hillary Clinton?
377
00:19:14,150 --> 00:19:15,630
Isn't this the way we were raised?
378
00:19:15,630 --> 00:19:17,790
Didn't your grandmother tell you,
like she told me,
379
00:19:17,790 --> 00:19:20,310
"You can say something nice about
everybody,
380
00:19:20,310 --> 00:19:22,470
"except Hitler and Matt Lauer."
381
00:19:22,470 --> 00:19:23,390
LAUGHTER
382
00:19:26,470 --> 00:19:28,150
Just to prove it to you, I will
start off.
383
00:19:28,150 --> 00:19:31,550
I'll start off by saying
something nice,
384
00:19:31,550 --> 00:19:34,030
I'll say three things nice about
George W Bush.
385
00:19:35,150 --> 00:19:39,190
Just to prove, just to prove this
can be done.
386
00:19:39,190 --> 00:19:41,710
All right? Number one,
387
00:19:41,710 --> 00:19:44,710
I think he did a good job raising
those two daughters.
388
00:19:44,710 --> 00:19:46,870
They seem like very fine women.
389
00:19:46,870 --> 00:19:48,230
They seem to love their dad.
390
00:19:49,390 --> 00:19:51,150
Number two,
391
00:19:51,150 --> 00:19:53,750
Bono credits Bush
392
00:19:53,750 --> 00:19:57,070
with breaking the
logjam in getting funds for AIDS
393
00:19:57,070 --> 00:19:58,590
relief in Africa.
394
00:19:58,590 --> 00:20:02,310
Bush put a whole bunch of money into
Africa for AIDS relief.
395
00:20:05,990 --> 00:20:08,190
And number three...
396
00:20:08,190 --> 00:20:11,550
Um... 'He loves dogs!'
He loves his dogs!
397
00:20:11,550 --> 00:20:12,950
Yes, that's number three!
398
00:20:14,270 --> 00:20:16,270
He loved Barney!
399
00:20:16,270 --> 00:20:20,630
Barney loved him! He was so good
with those dogs!
400
00:20:20,630 --> 00:20:23,110
OK, there's three nice things about
Bush, I've said them.
401
00:20:23,110 --> 00:20:25,510
So, to say something nice about
Hillary,
402
00:20:25,510 --> 00:20:27,430
we're going to start with a man.
403
00:20:27,430 --> 00:20:30,390
I filmed this 17 years ago.
404
00:20:30,390 --> 00:20:33,950
I had a show called The Awful Truth
on the Bravo network.
APPLAUSE
405
00:20:33,950 --> 00:20:36,470
Thank you. It was during the
Lewinsky scandal,
406
00:20:36,470 --> 00:20:38,310
and Clinton was being impeached.
407
00:20:38,310 --> 00:20:41,590
There was a lot of speculation that
she might leave him, and we
408
00:20:41,590 --> 00:20:44,350
had this idea on the show, let's go
out and try and find her a date.
409
00:20:44,350 --> 00:20:46,870
She deserves a date.
With a nice guy.
410
00:20:46,870 --> 00:20:48,870
If we have that ready in the booth,
can we show them?
411
00:20:48,870 --> 00:20:50,630
This is 1998.
412
00:20:50,630 --> 00:20:53,350
'We're doing an interview about
Hillary Clinton being single.
413
00:20:53,350 --> 00:20:55,310
Oh, really? OK.
Yeah, what do you think?
414
00:20:55,310 --> 00:20:58,430
Well, I think that Hillary Clinton
is a hell of a good woman, and I
hope
415
00:20:58,430 --> 00:21:00,150
she's not single in a year and a
half.
416
00:21:00,150 --> 00:21:02,190
I hope they stay together, and I
think they will.
417
00:21:02,190 --> 00:21:04,510
I think she's very committed and I
think he's very committed.
418
00:21:04,510 --> 00:21:06,910
Do you think she's...that she's not
going to be out having...
419
00:21:06,910 --> 00:21:09,510
You don't want to date her once
she's single? No, I think that she's
420
00:21:09,510 --> 00:21:12,590
very happy and I hope she's very
happy with her husband,
421
00:21:12,590 --> 00:21:15,910
and I think she understands her
husband better than anybody.
422
00:21:15,910 --> 00:21:17,870
And I think she'll be just fine.
423
00:21:17,870 --> 00:21:19,630
Wow, OK.
424
00:21:19,630 --> 00:21:21,430
OK? So, no dating advice?
425
00:21:21,430 --> 00:21:23,190
I don't want to give her any dating
advice.
426
00:21:23,190 --> 00:21:26,070
She's going to be married to our
current president
427
00:21:26,070 --> 00:21:28,790
for a long time. All right, Donald,
thanks a lot.
428
00:21:28,790 --> 00:21:31,510
I'll tell her you're
not interested. Tell her that.
429
00:21:31,510 --> 00:21:34,670
Have a good time. Bye!
430
00:21:34,670 --> 00:21:37,630
Well, I just left Michael and he's a
good man. Yeah.
431
00:21:37,630 --> 00:21:39,630
He's a good man. He's done a good
job. OK, thanks.
432
00:21:39,630 --> 00:21:40,670
Have a good time. Bye.
433
00:21:42,550 --> 00:21:44,030
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
434
00:21:45,710 --> 00:21:46,670
See?
435
00:21:48,190 --> 00:21:51,030
See? He said something nice about
Hillary and me.
436
00:21:53,430 --> 00:21:55,190
Right, so, if he can do it, you can
do it.
437
00:21:55,190 --> 00:21:56,990
Anybody, just raise your hand.
438
00:21:56,990 --> 00:21:58,190
Yes? Go ahead.
439
00:21:58,190 --> 00:22:00,430
WOMAN SPEAKS SOFTLY
440
00:22:00,430 --> 00:22:02,430
She's overqualified?
441
00:22:02,430 --> 00:22:03,390
Is that a nice thing?
442
00:22:06,110 --> 00:22:09,310
Usually...I used to be told that
when I didn't get the job.
443
00:22:10,790 --> 00:22:12,510
Right down here in the centre.
Yes, sir?
444
00:22:12,510 --> 00:22:14,830
She's super smart.
She's super smart!
445
00:22:16,310 --> 00:22:17,870
Over here.
446
00:22:17,870 --> 00:22:21,110
Hillary actually knows where
Aleppo is!
447
00:22:21,110 --> 00:22:23,270
Hillary knows where Aleppo is!
448
00:22:23,270 --> 00:22:25,110
There you go!
449
00:22:25,110 --> 00:22:27,750
Do we have anybody from the
'I don't Like Hillary' camp
450
00:22:27,750 --> 00:22:30,950
that can say something nice about
her? Yes, sir, in the red?
451
00:22:32,790 --> 00:22:34,710
She's what?
452
00:22:34,710 --> 00:22:36,030
She's stood by her man?
453
00:22:37,390 --> 00:22:39,830
LAUGHTER
454
00:22:39,830 --> 00:22:40,750
Yeah.
455
00:22:43,510 --> 00:22:46,350
Anybody else? Come on!
Right down here in the front row.
456
00:22:46,350 --> 00:22:50,190
Yes? I think she's every single
thing we say we want our daughters
457
00:22:50,190 --> 00:22:52,950
to be. She's smart, she works hard,
458
00:22:52,950 --> 00:22:57,390
she's independent and she doesn't
take any shit from anybody.
459
00:22:57,390 --> 00:22:59,910
Well, that was beautifully put.
460
00:22:59,910 --> 00:23:02,670
All right, right behind. Yes, sir,
right back there?
461
00:23:02,670 --> 00:23:05,550
I like her ad.
She really has fought...
462
00:23:05,550 --> 00:23:06,830
You like her ass?
463
00:23:08,950 --> 00:23:10,990
Ad! Commercials!
464
00:23:10,990 --> 00:23:13,110
Her ads? Oh, her ads!
465
00:23:15,710 --> 00:23:19,390
She really has fought for
opportunity
466
00:23:19,390 --> 00:23:22,110
for kids for her entire life.
467
00:23:23,990 --> 00:23:26,150
Yes. That's very nice.
468
00:23:27,670 --> 00:23:30,390
All right, let me say something nice
about Hillary.
469
00:23:30,390 --> 00:23:32,350
I'm glad she killed Vince Foster.
470
00:23:32,350 --> 00:23:33,790
LAUGHTER
471
00:23:37,430 --> 00:23:38,950
That's another knock on her.
472
00:23:38,950 --> 00:23:41,350
She killed Vince Foster,
White House Deputy Counsel.
473
00:23:41,350 --> 00:23:44,310
The Clintons have been in there for
six months, all of a sudden,
474
00:23:44,310 --> 00:23:47,590
a Sunday morning, he's found dead
in his car in a park on
475
00:23:47,590 --> 00:23:49,070
the Potomac River,
476
00:23:49,070 --> 00:23:52,750
bullet hole in the head and a
suicide note in his hand.
477
00:23:52,750 --> 00:23:55,430
And, ever since that, how
long...those of us who
478
00:23:55,430 --> 00:23:59,350
are a little older, how long have we
had to listen to this? Since 1993,
479
00:23:59,350 --> 00:24:01,950
that Hillary killed Vince Foster.
I hope she did.
480
00:24:04,630 --> 00:24:06,830
Because that's bad ass, man!
481
00:24:06,830 --> 00:24:07,830
How'd she do that?!
482
00:24:09,510 --> 00:24:13,630
She must have jacked his car at like
eight in the morning on a Sunday,
483
00:24:13,630 --> 00:24:15,590
before going to church.
484
00:24:15,590 --> 00:24:18,510
Shot him, written that suicide note,
485
00:24:18,510 --> 00:24:20,270
like a JonBenet type note,
486
00:24:20,270 --> 00:24:24,510
put that in his hand, went back
to the White House for breakfast.
487
00:24:24,510 --> 00:24:25,790
Bill had no idea.
488
00:24:27,990 --> 00:24:32,190
Go on the internet tonight and type
in "Hillary" and "murderer" into
489
00:24:32,190 --> 00:24:34,510
Google and see what comes up.
490
00:24:34,510 --> 00:24:39,470
Seriously, she has killed 46 people.
491
00:24:40,750 --> 00:24:42,510
46 people!
492
00:24:43,830 --> 00:24:45,710
With her own bare hands!
493
00:24:45,710 --> 00:24:49,110
Ladies and gentlemen, this is who
I want for Commander in Chief!
494
00:24:50,190 --> 00:24:52,230
Somebody who's not afraid
to kill somebody!
495
00:24:54,270 --> 00:24:57,870
We haven't had somebody in the
Oval Office who has killed somebody
496
00:24:57,870 --> 00:24:59,470
since Ulysses S Grant!
497
00:25:02,350 --> 00:25:03,510
Isis is going to shit...
498
00:25:05,310 --> 00:25:08,390
..if she's president!
LAUGHTER
499
00:25:19,100 --> 00:25:20,540
it was called Downsize This,
500
00:25:20,540 --> 00:25:22,900
and there was a
chapter in there called
501
00:25:22,900 --> 00:25:25,620
My Forbidden Love For Hillary.
502
00:25:25,620 --> 00:25:30,780
So you've probably seen these
different photographs behind me
503
00:25:30,780 --> 00:25:32,220
on the stage here tonight.
504
00:25:32,220 --> 00:25:35,780
I was just really upset with
the way she was being treated
505
00:25:35,780 --> 00:25:37,660
when she was First Lady.
506
00:25:37,660 --> 00:25:40,500
She was being knocked and
criticised all the time.
507
00:25:40,500 --> 00:25:43,060
She was, you know,
being made fun of.
508
00:25:43,060 --> 00:25:45,220
How she looked, how she dressed,
509
00:25:45,220 --> 00:25:50,900
and also for being the co-president.
510
00:25:50,900 --> 00:25:53,660
Right? Because
remember when she said...
511
00:25:53,660 --> 00:25:57,180
She was being criticised during
the campaign when Bill first ran,
512
00:25:57,180 --> 00:26:00,180
and she said, look, I'm not
some little lady going to be
in the kitchen
513
00:26:00,180 --> 00:26:02,420
baking cookies and hosting teas.
514
00:26:02,420 --> 00:26:04,180
Attacks on her started then,
515
00:26:04,180 --> 00:26:07,420
and she was the butt of jokes
from late-night comedians.
516
00:26:07,420 --> 00:26:10,940
I remember there was one joke, was,
517
00:26:10,940 --> 00:26:14,340
"Hey, have you heard about
the new Hillary combo at KFC?"
518
00:26:14,340 --> 00:26:18,740
"It's got two large thighs,
two small breasts,
519
00:26:18,740 --> 00:26:20,220
"and two left wings."
520
00:26:23,740 --> 00:26:25,940
I thought about it for
a minute and thought,
521
00:26:25,940 --> 00:26:27,620
"Well, that sounds
pretty good to me!"
522
00:26:27,620 --> 00:26:28,860
LAUGHTER
523
00:26:30,540 --> 00:26:33,820
No, but I just...
I thought she was beautiful.
524
00:26:33,820 --> 00:26:38,700
I thought she was smart, I thought
she was a nice person, you know?
525
00:26:38,700 --> 00:26:42,100
I didn't understand what this was,
526
00:26:42,100 --> 00:26:46,300
and so I wrote this chapter called
My Forbidden Love For Hillary.
527
00:26:46,300 --> 00:26:50,740
And I got invited to
a White House dinner,
528
00:26:50,740 --> 00:26:53,380
and to give you
some context for this,
529
00:26:53,380 --> 00:26:57,540
the dinner took place the night
before Clinton's impeachment,
530
00:26:57,540 --> 00:26:58,820
OK?
531
00:26:58,820 --> 00:27:00,780
So, what a night to be there, right?
532
00:27:00,780 --> 00:27:02,380
He didn't look good.
533
00:27:02,380 --> 00:27:05,940
And you're told you get five seconds
and you've got to keep moving.
534
00:27:05,940 --> 00:27:09,260
Shake their hands,
say something nice, move on.
535
00:27:09,260 --> 00:27:12,620
The Marine goes, "Mr President
and Madam First Lady..."
536
00:27:14,100 --> 00:27:16,580
"..er, Michael Moore?"
537
00:27:16,580 --> 00:27:18,180
LAUGHTER
538
00:27:23,100 --> 00:27:28,460
So, I walked in there,
and Bill grabs my hand and he goes,
539
00:27:28,460 --> 00:27:31,100
AS BILL CLINTON:
"Michael Moore, I just love you!
540
00:27:31,100 --> 00:27:35,540
"I'm your number one fan.
I love your show, TV Nation.
541
00:27:35,540 --> 00:27:39,340
"I remember that one episode
you did when you went Idaho
542
00:27:39,340 --> 00:27:41,940
"and you went to that
Klan rally, that was just..."
543
00:27:41,940 --> 00:27:43,460
And I'm thinking, what?
544
00:27:46,100 --> 00:27:48,100
These Clintons are good, man.
545
00:27:48,100 --> 00:27:51,900
There's 100 people here and he's
got a story for every one of them.
546
00:27:51,900 --> 00:27:55,580
He's referencing an obscure episode
547
00:27:55,580 --> 00:27:59,860
on a Friday night show
on NBC of mine,
548
00:27:59,860 --> 00:28:04,260
and he's, like, he's accurately
describing the episode!
549
00:28:04,260 --> 00:28:05,540
I'm thinking...
550
00:28:05,540 --> 00:28:10,220
"And I love Roger And Me,
I'm your number one fan."
551
00:28:10,220 --> 00:28:13,620
At that moment,
Hillary grabs my hand,
552
00:28:13,620 --> 00:28:16,420
takes it out of his hand
and says to him,
553
00:28:16,420 --> 00:28:18,940
"No, you're not,
I'm his number one fan."
554
00:28:18,940 --> 00:28:20,580
And she goes...
555
00:28:26,700 --> 00:28:29,660
And she goes,
556
00:28:29,660 --> 00:28:32,900
"I just want to say what you
wrote about me in your book,
557
00:28:32,900 --> 00:28:36,100
"it was so wonderful and that
first line in the book..."
558
00:28:36,100 --> 00:28:38,180
My face is turning red, right?
559
00:28:38,180 --> 00:28:42,180
The first line in the chapter
of My Forbidden Love For Hillary,
560
00:28:42,180 --> 00:28:45,340
where I have all
these photos of her,
561
00:28:45,340 --> 00:28:47,100
the first line was,
562
00:28:47,100 --> 00:28:48,780
"Hillary Clinton,
563
00:28:48,780 --> 00:28:51,340
"she's one hot
shit-kicking feminist babe."
564
00:28:57,580 --> 00:28:59,900
"I love everything...
565
00:28:59,900 --> 00:29:02,180
"And when you talked about
me on The Today Show..."
566
00:29:02,180 --> 00:29:05,140
Now at this point,
I've been there for too long.
567
00:29:05,140 --> 00:29:08,820
Her aide is stepping in because
she thinks I'm holding the line up,
568
00:29:08,820 --> 00:29:11,060
but it's Hillary
that won't let me go.
569
00:29:11,060 --> 00:29:13,700
Hillary sees the aide coming
and she goes like this,
570
00:29:13,700 --> 00:29:15,020
"Shoo, shoo!"
571
00:29:17,140 --> 00:29:18,820
And I said,
572
00:29:18,820 --> 00:29:23,500
"I'm so sorry you're
going through all this
573
00:29:23,500 --> 00:29:28,340
"but you're a good person,
and you seem like a good mom
574
00:29:28,340 --> 00:29:31,220
"and you should run for Senate."
575
00:29:32,620 --> 00:29:34,300
It is true! My idea!
576
00:29:37,540 --> 00:29:43,780
I went through all the files trying
to find this picture of her holding
my hand
577
00:29:43,780 --> 00:29:47,900
but there is a picture that was
snapped just as I walked away.
578
00:29:47,900 --> 00:29:49,820
OK, check this.
579
00:29:49,820 --> 00:29:51,500
Look at this!
580
00:29:51,500 --> 00:29:55,100
Look at this, I swear,
it's the truth. It's all true.
581
00:29:55,100 --> 00:29:58,740
Look at that. One of them's
really happy and one of them's not.
582
00:30:05,660 --> 00:30:08,620
And that's when she took me up
to the Lincoln Bedroom!
583
00:30:10,980 --> 00:30:12,940
No, no, no - nothing happened.
Nothing happened.
584
00:30:12,940 --> 00:30:14,900
I'm just saying though,
585
00:30:14,900 --> 00:30:21,580
it was a very special moment for me
because I just felt she had been...
586
00:30:21,580 --> 00:30:23,220
It was...
587
00:30:23,220 --> 00:30:25,260
Her treatment was just awful.
588
00:30:25,260 --> 00:30:27,340
If you're young,
you don't know this.
589
00:30:27,340 --> 00:30:29,380
If you weren't alive then,
you don't know it,
590
00:30:29,380 --> 00:30:32,100
but the people who were alive then,
you know what I'm saying, right?
591
00:30:32,100 --> 00:30:34,780
I'm not making this up,
I'm not exaggerating it, am I?
592
00:30:34,780 --> 00:30:37,660
The knock on her was just...
It was just awful.
593
00:30:41,740 --> 00:30:45,980
Last year I was shooting a movie,
Where Do We Invade Next?
594
00:30:45,980 --> 00:30:48,460
And we went to this country,
Estonia.
595
00:30:48,460 --> 00:30:50,660
I wanted to go there because
I was trying to show
596
00:30:50,660 --> 00:30:53,540
in different countries
what they do better than us
597
00:30:53,540 --> 00:30:55,460
and what can we learn from them.
598
00:30:55,460 --> 00:31:00,580
So I went to Estonia because
the World Health Organisation says
599
00:31:00,580 --> 00:31:04,420
that you have the least chance,
as a woman, dying in childbirth
600
00:31:04,420 --> 00:31:07,100
in Estonia than any other
country on the planet.
601
00:31:07,100 --> 00:31:08,900
If you live in Cleveland,
602
00:31:08,900 --> 00:31:11,220
you have a three times greater
chance of dying in childbirth
603
00:31:11,220 --> 00:31:14,060
than you do in Estonia.
604
00:31:14,060 --> 00:31:18,020
And so they took me to the maternity
ward and they had the head doctor
605
00:31:18,020 --> 00:31:19,980
in the maternity ward.
606
00:31:19,980 --> 00:31:22,460
He's showing me around
and he's telling me why
607
00:31:22,460 --> 00:31:24,420
they're so good at this.
608
00:31:24,420 --> 00:31:27,900
But walking down this hallway
and there's a picture on the wall
609
00:31:27,900 --> 00:31:32,180
and I stopped and I said, "Wait a
minute, I know the person in that
photo."
610
00:31:32,180 --> 00:31:34,820
That's me and the doctor
there in the hallway.
611
00:31:34,820 --> 00:31:38,020
Can we just punch in a
little bit here on this?
612
00:31:38,020 --> 00:31:40,860
It's Hillary Clinton
shaking this guy's hand.
613
00:31:40,860 --> 00:31:42,620
I said, "Where did this happen?"
614
00:31:42,620 --> 00:31:46,700
He said, "It happened right
where you are standing."
615
00:31:46,700 --> 00:31:48,860
I said, "Oh, my God,
who's the guy?"
616
00:31:48,860 --> 00:31:51,060
"That is me.
617
00:31:51,060 --> 00:31:53,140
"20 years ago."
618
00:31:53,140 --> 00:31:54,700
I said, "Oh, my God!
619
00:31:54,700 --> 00:31:58,380
"OK, so what was she
doing in Estonia?"
620
00:31:58,380 --> 00:32:00,860
"Well, don't you remember?
621
00:32:00,860 --> 00:32:05,660
"She wanted you to have universal
health care, so she was studying.
622
00:32:05,660 --> 00:32:10,580
"She went around the world to study
it, and she came to little Estonia
623
00:32:10,580 --> 00:32:12,940
"for the same reason
you're here tonight -
624
00:32:12,940 --> 00:32:18,060
"to find out why so many more women
survive childbirth here than in the
United States."
625
00:32:19,900 --> 00:32:22,580
I said, "Oh, my God,
wow, she came here?"
626
00:32:22,580 --> 00:32:26,700
"Yes. And then she went back,
627
00:32:26,700 --> 00:32:28,700
"and you didn't listen to her.
628
00:32:28,700 --> 00:32:32,180
"Instead, you humiliated her
629
00:32:32,180 --> 00:32:35,140
"and attacked her.
630
00:32:35,140 --> 00:32:39,540
"And you've gone 20 years now
without universal health care
631
00:32:39,540 --> 00:32:41,860
"and we've had it."
632
00:32:41,860 --> 00:32:47,460
I said, I made this movie, Sicko,
and while making the movie,
633
00:32:47,460 --> 00:32:50,700
I learned that, according to
the Congressional Budget Office,
634
00:32:50,700 --> 00:32:56,420
nearly 50,000 Americans die
each year for one simple reason,
635
00:32:56,420 --> 00:33:00,620
they don't have health insurance,
or they don't have adequate health
insurance.
636
00:33:00,620 --> 00:33:02,860
And yet Hillary was attacked.
637
00:33:06,620 --> 00:33:08,540
She was humiliated.
638
00:33:08,540 --> 00:33:12,500
You remember this
when this happened?
639
00:33:12,500 --> 00:33:13,900
People in Congress were like,
640
00:33:13,900 --> 00:33:18,540
"Get rid of her, she's not the
president, nobody elected you!"
641
00:33:18,540 --> 00:33:20,020
And it went down to defeat.
642
00:33:27,020 --> 00:33:29,220
It never got brought up again,
did it?
643
00:33:29,220 --> 00:33:31,220
Until Obama started bringing it up.
644
00:33:33,940 --> 00:33:35,780
It never got brought up again.
645
00:33:35,780 --> 00:33:40,180
And they forced her to
change into someone else.
646
00:33:40,180 --> 00:33:42,220
She was told to shut up
647
00:33:42,220 --> 00:33:45,620
and she started baking the
cookies and hosting the teas.
648
00:33:47,900 --> 00:33:50,100
I don't know.
649
00:33:50,100 --> 00:33:52,140
Something's wrong here.
650
00:33:52,140 --> 00:33:56,100
In a way, we have a chance to redeem
ourselves, don't we, for this?
651
00:33:59,340 --> 00:34:00,900
It's possible, I don't know.
652
00:34:04,570 --> 00:34:09,650
What if all this time, right, this
has been part of her long game?
653
00:34:09,650 --> 00:34:12,610
Like, she's had this ambition since
she was a teenager.
654
00:34:14,490 --> 00:34:16,970
When she was in college, she gave
the graduation speech.
655
00:34:16,970 --> 00:34:19,930
If you read her speech, it reads
like Bernie wrote it.
656
00:34:19,930 --> 00:34:23,330
This is actually her voice at the
age of 22,
657
00:34:23,330 --> 00:34:26,010
giving her graduation speech.
658
00:34:26,010 --> 00:34:26,810
Listen to this.
659
00:34:28,290 --> 00:34:32,050
'The struggle for an integrated life
existing in an atmosphere of
communal trust
660
00:34:32,050 --> 00:34:37,370
'and respect is one with desperately
important political and social
consequences.
661
00:34:37,370 --> 00:34:40,370
'And the word consequences
of course catapults us into the
future.'
662
00:34:41,570 --> 00:34:45,290
'One of the most tragic things that
happened yesterday, a beautiful day,
663
00:34:45,290 --> 00:34:47,410
'was that I was talking to a woman
who said she wouldn't
664
00:34:47,410 --> 00:34:49,210
'want to be me for anything in the
world.
665
00:34:49,210 --> 00:34:52,370
'She wouldn't want to live today and
look ahead to what it is she sees,
666
00:34:52,370 --> 00:34:53,330
'because she's afraid.
667
00:34:54,570 --> 00:34:58,330
'Fear is always with us but we just
don't have time for it, not now.'
668
00:34:59,930 --> 00:35:00,890
Fear.
669
00:35:01,930 --> 00:35:02,890
It's like...
670
00:35:04,050 --> 00:35:05,970
The women of Hillary's generation...
671
00:35:07,930 --> 00:35:09,850
..were the first feminists of the
modern era.
672
00:35:11,330 --> 00:35:13,490
They were raised by women.
673
00:35:13,490 --> 00:35:18,410
Their mothers and grandmothers had
to go to work in World War II,
cos the men were gone.
674
00:35:18,410 --> 00:35:20,490
It was the first time
women were able to leave the
675
00:35:20,490 --> 00:35:21,850
house and have a job.
676
00:35:21,850 --> 00:35:25,250
And they worked in factories, they
worked the offices, they ran the
country.
677
00:35:25,250 --> 00:35:27,050
They did all the
work.
678
00:35:27,050 --> 00:35:28,170
And then after the war,
679
00:35:28,170 --> 00:35:31,250
the men came home and they told the
women to go back to the kitchen.
680
00:35:31,250 --> 00:35:32,690
And they did. Most of them.
681
00:35:34,690 --> 00:35:36,170
But they didn't...
682
00:35:36,170 --> 00:35:40,290
They didn't leave or forget what it
was like to have that freedom to
683
00:35:40,290 --> 00:35:41,370
earn their own money.
684
00:35:42,570 --> 00:35:47,290
The women of that World War II
generation raised that next
generation.
685
00:35:47,290 --> 00:35:48,490
That's Hillary's generation.
686
00:35:50,330 --> 00:35:53,090
There's women in here tonight of
that generation.
687
00:35:53,090 --> 00:35:56,450
Of my generation even. You know what
it was like back then.
688
00:35:57,810 --> 00:35:59,970
Younger people in here, I've got to
tell you something.
689
00:35:59,970 --> 00:36:01,330
It was not pleasant...
690
00:36:02,730 --> 00:36:04,970
..to stand up for what you believed
in.
691
00:36:04,970 --> 00:36:06,690
It was not easy..
692
00:36:08,450 --> 00:36:10,050
..to say, "I want it to be this
way."
693
00:36:11,650 --> 00:36:15,410
The harassment that they suffered,
the abuse that they took at work,
694
00:36:15,410 --> 00:36:17,090
at school.
695
00:36:17,090 --> 00:36:21,610
If they decided to stand
up, they were sure to be alone,
696
00:36:21,610 --> 00:36:25,050
other than a few other women, young
girls that were with them.
697
00:36:26,250 --> 00:36:27,810
Hillary went through this whole
thing.
698
00:36:27,810 --> 00:36:29,610
She went through the same thing.
699
00:36:29,610 --> 00:36:31,450
I'm seeing some women nod their
heads.
700
00:36:31,450 --> 00:36:33,290
You know what I'm talking about.
701
00:36:33,290 --> 00:36:37,250
You know, getting pinched on the ass
every day was a common occurrence.
702
00:36:37,250 --> 00:36:40,530
You could say all kinds of shit to
women.
703
00:36:40,530 --> 00:36:42,650
You could threaten them.
704
00:36:42,650 --> 00:36:48,370
There was no such thing as battered
spousal abuse, whatever. There was
not a word for it.
705
00:36:48,370 --> 00:36:51,930
And the shit that Hillary took as a
young woman.
706
00:36:53,250 --> 00:36:56,290
Marrying Bill Clinton, going to
Arkansas.
707
00:36:56,290 --> 00:36:59,330
She decided that she was going to
have her own job,
708
00:36:59,330 --> 00:37:02,130
She was going to work for the Legal
Aid Society,
709
00:37:02,130 --> 00:37:05,410
helping poor people with free legal
help.
710
00:37:05,410 --> 00:37:07,610
And people in Arkansas are like,
"What's this?"
711
00:37:10,330 --> 00:37:14,010
He lost his election, according to
the pundits in Arkansas,
712
00:37:14,010 --> 00:37:16,930
because she refused to change her
last name to his.
713
00:37:16,930 --> 00:37:18,570
She was known as Hillary Rodham.
714
00:37:20,730 --> 00:37:23,730
And all the papers, everybody said,
"Well, you know...
715
00:37:23,730 --> 00:37:24,850
"This is Arkansas."
716
00:37:26,330 --> 00:37:30,130
And so, to help him out in the next
election, she changed her name...
717
00:37:31,570 --> 00:37:33,050
..to Hillary Rodham Clinton.
718
00:37:34,530 --> 00:37:37,250
And to help him out further on,
she dropped the Rodham.
719
00:37:38,650 --> 00:37:43,050
She was willing to subjugate and
submerge herself
720
00:37:43,050 --> 00:37:44,770
to help him do this,
721
00:37:44,770 --> 00:37:46,210
and to take the shit for it.
722
00:37:47,690 --> 00:37:49,090
I have a theory about this.
723
00:37:49,090 --> 00:37:51,050
I don't think she has forgotten one
bit of this.
724
00:37:53,010 --> 00:37:58,850
I don't think she's forgotten one
single inch of this abuse from the
time
725
00:37:58,850 --> 00:38:02,490
she was in high school, all the way
up until ten o'clock this morning.
726
00:38:05,250 --> 00:38:09,290
I think it's all there and I think
that she has been biding her time.
727
00:38:11,450 --> 00:38:12,570
My hope...
728
00:38:13,610 --> 00:38:14,850
My optimism for this...
729
00:38:15,970 --> 00:38:19,210
Hillary, if you're watching this
right now, I...
730
00:38:20,570 --> 00:38:23,410
I have a feeling somebody's going
to slip you a tape of this.
731
00:38:25,370 --> 00:38:26,770
I just want to tell you something.
732
00:38:28,330 --> 00:38:30,610
I know you've been waiting
and waiting...
733
00:38:31,850 --> 00:38:36,770
..and waiting and waiting, but
you're not alone.
734
00:38:38,450 --> 00:38:43,810
A whole bunch of the rest of us have
been waiting for that glorious
moment
735
00:38:43,810 --> 00:38:46,570
when the other gender, the majority
gender,
736
00:38:46,570 --> 00:38:50,090
has a chance to run this world,
737
00:38:50,090 --> 00:38:54,770
to have real power and kick some
righteous ass!
738
00:38:54,770 --> 00:38:56,850
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
739
00:38:56,850 --> 00:38:59,530
And we are counting on you to do
this.
740
00:39:01,250 --> 00:39:02,650
Right?
741
00:39:04,010 --> 00:39:05,930
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
742
00:39:13,370 --> 00:39:16,410
I want to see what that world
looks like, don't you?
743
00:39:16,410 --> 00:39:17,370
CHEERING
744
00:39:19,730 --> 00:39:22,930
Where she's just going to go in
there and say, "Enough of the
bullshit!"
745
00:39:24,890 --> 00:39:29,370
Inauguration Day, after all the
inaugural balls,
746
00:39:29,370 --> 00:39:32,970
you pull up to the White House, her
and Bill, they go in and she
says,
747
00:39:32,970 --> 00:39:34,250
"No, Bill. No, no, no, no.
748
00:39:34,250 --> 00:39:35,970
"You're staying at Blair House.
749
00:39:37,410 --> 00:39:40,770
"I'm going to go in here and run the
country the way it should have been
run."
750
00:39:43,050 --> 00:39:46,090
Then she goes in there and she just
starts signing one executive order
751
00:39:46,090 --> 00:39:47,370
after another.
752
00:39:47,370 --> 00:39:50,850
Her first 100 days, right, like FDR.
753
00:39:50,850 --> 00:39:53,370
Doesn't need Congress. Just
starts signing executive orders.
754
00:39:53,370 --> 00:39:55,170
Immigrants? You stay.
755
00:39:55,170 --> 00:39:57,610
Signed. Flint, Michigan?
756
00:39:57,610 --> 00:39:58,810
New water pipes for you.
757
00:39:58,810 --> 00:40:00,650
Signed.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
758
00:40:02,050 --> 00:40:03,410
Food and Drug Administration.
759
00:40:03,410 --> 00:40:06,530
High fructose corn syrup? Banned.
760
00:40:06,530 --> 00:40:07,810
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
761
00:40:09,450 --> 00:40:14,170
Prisons. Release all non-violent
drug offenders now.
762
00:40:14,170 --> 00:40:16,290
Signed.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
763
00:40:21,050 --> 00:40:22,930
Justice Department -
764
00:40:22,930 --> 00:40:27,890
prosecute all police who kill
unarmed black man now.
765
00:40:27,890 --> 00:40:29,650
Signed.
766
00:40:29,650 --> 00:40:31,570
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
767
00:40:31,570 --> 00:40:32,650
Well, that's my hope.
768
00:40:34,930 --> 00:40:38,370
And after that, after she signs
these executive orders,
769
00:40:38,370 --> 00:40:42,610
then she puts on those shit-kicking
boots that Beyonce wore on the
770
00:40:42,610 --> 00:40:44,450
football field
771
00:40:44,450 --> 00:40:47,250
and she goes up to Capitol Hill and
she says,
772
00:40:47,250 --> 00:40:49,130
"OK, I'm here to end the gridlock.
773
00:40:49,130 --> 00:40:50,450
"No Kum Ba Yah.
774
00:40:52,570 --> 00:40:54,610
"Who's up for it?"
775
00:40:54,610 --> 00:40:57,090
Because the average American
believes in fairness.
776
00:40:57,090 --> 00:40:59,250
They believe women should be paid
the same as men,
777
00:40:59,250 --> 00:41:02,570
they want to drink clean water, they
want to breathe clean air.
778
00:41:02,570 --> 00:41:05,090
The majority of Americans do believe
in climate change.
779
00:41:06,810 --> 00:41:08,770
And if these guys aren't going to do
their job,
780
00:41:08,770 --> 00:41:10,330
she'll make them do the job.
781
00:41:11,890 --> 00:41:14,010
But here's what I...
782
00:41:14,010 --> 00:41:16,490
This is just... I just want to say
this to close out, because...
783
00:41:17,890 --> 00:41:20,010
I think that...
784
00:41:20,010 --> 00:41:23,090
this isn't going to happen if we
leave her on her own again,
785
00:41:23,090 --> 00:41:28,290
the way we abandoned her back during
the health care days.
786
00:41:28,290 --> 00:41:31,050
She's going to need a revolution
behind her.
787
00:41:31,050 --> 00:41:32,850
The Bernie revolution.
788
00:41:32,850 --> 00:41:36,650
That's what Bernie says. November
9th, the day after the election,
right?
789
00:41:36,650 --> 00:41:41,690
It's our responsibility to hold her
to her word, but also,
790
00:41:41,690 --> 00:41:43,370
when she does follow through,
791
00:41:43,370 --> 00:41:47,050
to be there to support her and get
behind her.
792
00:41:47,050 --> 00:41:49,330
And let me say this.
793
00:41:49,330 --> 00:41:51,570
If, for some reason,
794
00:41:51,570 --> 00:41:55,770
she goes back on her word, she
doesn't do these things,
795
00:41:55,770 --> 00:41:58,170
and after two years of this,
796
00:41:58,170 --> 00:42:00,930
she hasn't done what she said she's
going to do,
797
00:42:00,930 --> 00:42:04,650
I am here tonight in Wilmington,
Ohio,
798
00:42:04,650 --> 00:42:09,530
to announce to you my candidacy for
President of the United States
799
00:42:09,530 --> 00:42:10,890
in 2020!
800
00:42:10,890 --> 00:42:13,250
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
801
00:42:13,250 --> 00:42:15,490
I will run! I will run!
802
00:42:17,850 --> 00:42:20,610
I know Kanye has already said he's
going to run.
803
00:42:20,610 --> 00:42:22,490
I'll run with Kanye.
804
00:42:22,490 --> 00:42:24,450
Kanye can run with me.
805
00:42:24,450 --> 00:42:27,930
I will run for President of the
United States.
806
00:42:27,930 --> 00:42:30,330
And ladies and gentlemen...
807
00:42:30,330 --> 00:42:31,250
Ladies and gentlemen...
808
00:42:32,770 --> 00:42:37,290
Let me tell you what I am going to
do if you elect me president in
2020.
809
00:42:37,290 --> 00:42:41,970
Number one - there will be one
charge cord for all devices.
810
00:42:41,970 --> 00:42:43,090
CHEERING
811
00:42:43,090 --> 00:42:45,890
Your phone, your tablet, your
computer.
812
00:42:45,890 --> 00:42:47,290
One charge cord.
813
00:42:48,530 --> 00:42:52,610
If you elect me president, free HBO
for all Americans.
814
00:42:52,610 --> 00:42:53,690
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
815
00:42:53,690 --> 00:42:54,850
Yes!
816
00:42:56,810 --> 00:43:01,890
I will save the US Postal Service by
having every mailman and
817
00:43:01,890 --> 00:43:07,330
mailwoman on Friday deliver one
gram of weed to your mailbox.
818
00:43:07,330 --> 00:43:10,330
Everybody, everybody!
819
00:43:10,330 --> 00:43:12,410
For the weekend, two joints!
820
00:43:13,810 --> 00:43:16,410
Two joints for all Americans every
weekend!
821
00:43:16,410 --> 00:43:17,970
It'll be a better weekend.
822
00:43:20,930 --> 00:43:25,770
When I am president, only woman will
be able to buy and own guns.
823
00:43:25,770 --> 00:43:27,170
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
824
00:43:27,170 --> 00:43:30,810
I will bring down the murder rate
significantly with this plan.
825
00:43:31,850 --> 00:43:34,090
In case we need to go to war,
826
00:43:34,090 --> 00:43:38,890
the first people on the ship over to
the war will be the offspring of the
827
00:43:38,890 --> 00:43:41,730
CEOs and the members of Congress.
828
00:43:41,730 --> 00:43:44,010
They will go first.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
829
00:43:45,370 --> 00:43:48,850
When I am president, corporations
will not be people.
830
00:43:48,850 --> 00:43:49,850
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
831
00:43:51,490 --> 00:43:53,490
We're going to have a new national
anthem,
832
00:43:53,490 --> 00:43:57,530
one we can sing and one that doesn't
have a racist third verse.
833
00:43:58,730 --> 00:44:03,130
Our new national anthem will be - We
are the Champions of the World.
834
00:44:06,210 --> 00:44:08,290
We're going to have new enemies.
835
00:44:08,290 --> 00:44:11,290
No more of this North Korea
and Iran shit.
836
00:44:11,290 --> 00:44:14,970
Our new enemies will be Monsanto and
Wells Fargo.
837
00:44:14,970 --> 00:44:16,250
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
838
00:44:19,250 --> 00:44:20,370
And finally...
839
00:44:21,650 --> 00:44:23,770
During my four years in the White
House,
840
00:44:23,770 --> 00:44:28,050
there will be free banana splits for
every American on the fourth of
July,
841
00:44:28,050 --> 00:44:30,370
sent to you from Wilmington, Ohio.
842
00:44:30,370 --> 00:44:33,130
Everybody's going to work.
Everybody's going to work here.
843
00:44:33,130 --> 00:44:34,370
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
844
00:44:35,850 --> 00:44:37,010
And let me tell you...
845
00:44:40,010 --> 00:44:43,490
As we close, I just want to say a
word again about Hillary
846
00:44:43,490 --> 00:44:44,890
and you still don't like her.
847
00:44:44,890 --> 00:44:46,490
You still hate her.
848
00:44:46,490 --> 00:44:48,170
You don't want to vote for her.
849
00:44:49,530 --> 00:44:52,370
Let me just say this to you very
sincerely.
850
00:44:52,370 --> 00:44:55,890
I'm going to ask you to make a
sacrifice for your country and I'm
851
00:44:55,890 --> 00:44:57,890
not going to ask you to stop hating
her.
852
00:44:57,890 --> 00:45:01,370
If you want to hate her, just keep
hating her, all right?
853
00:45:01,370 --> 00:45:04,050
I don't want to try and convince you
any more of this.
854
00:45:04,050 --> 00:45:05,450
If you hate her, hate her.
855
00:45:05,450 --> 00:45:09,170
I want you to get up on election day
on November 8th and I want you to
856
00:45:09,170 --> 00:45:11,890
wake up out of your Hillary
nightmare dream.
857
00:45:11,890 --> 00:45:15,330
I want you to get in the shower and
have a real hate Hillary shower,
858
00:45:15,330 --> 00:45:18,650
sud yourself up, rinse and repeat.
859
00:45:18,650 --> 00:45:21,410
Then get in the car and drive with
all the road rage you can.
860
00:45:21,410 --> 00:45:23,330
"I hate Hillary!
861
00:45:23,330 --> 00:45:25,250
"I hate her so much!"
862
00:45:25,250 --> 00:45:27,370
And I want you to drive to the
polls.
863
00:45:27,370 --> 00:45:30,050
I want you to drive to the polls,
get out of the car, walk in there,
864
00:45:30,050 --> 00:45:33,050
go in the voting booth and you're
going to see her name on the ballot
and
865
00:45:33,050 --> 00:45:36,410
you're going to go,
"motherfucking Hillary?
866
00:45:36,410 --> 00:45:37,970
"No way!"
867
00:45:37,970 --> 00:45:39,410
But, yes way.
868
00:45:39,410 --> 00:45:41,810
Way, because America needs you.
869
00:45:41,810 --> 00:45:44,850
You're going to do this for your
country, all right?
870
00:45:44,850 --> 00:45:46,170
Keep hating her though.
871
00:45:46,170 --> 00:45:49,290
Keep hating her all you want, but
just pick up that pen.
872
00:45:49,290 --> 00:45:51,490
Pick up that pen. You might
need the other hand.
873
00:45:51,490 --> 00:45:53,610
Hold it down. Hold your arm.
874
00:45:53,610 --> 00:45:55,570
"No, I can't, I hate her!"
875
00:45:55,570 --> 00:45:57,770
Yes, I know.
HE YELLS
876
00:45:57,770 --> 00:46:00,210
"No, don't make me, Mike, no!
877
00:46:00,210 --> 00:46:02,410
"Yes. Do it."
878
00:46:02,410 --> 00:46:04,690
"Boom!"
879
00:46:04,690 --> 00:46:07,210
"Oh, I feel so awful.
880
00:46:07,210 --> 00:46:10,130
"I voted for Hillary Clinton."
881
00:46:10,130 --> 00:46:13,330
That's OK. Feel awful, you should.
882
00:46:13,330 --> 00:46:17,290
Go home, keep hating all you want,
but you've done something good for
this
883
00:46:17,290 --> 00:46:22,410
country, and on that night at 11pm
when the poll results come in,
884
00:46:22,410 --> 00:46:26,530
and we find out that we've elected
the first woman president of the
United States,
885
00:46:26,530 --> 00:46:29,330
we are all going to rejoice,
aren't we, folks?
886
00:46:29,330 --> 00:46:31,450
We are all...
887
00:46:31,450 --> 00:46:34,370
We are all going to have a big
party.
APPLAUSE
888
00:46:34,370 --> 00:46:37,250
A big party. And we're going
to celebrate.
889
00:46:37,250 --> 00:46:41,770
We're going to go and dig up Vince
Foster and kill him again.
890
00:46:41,770 --> 00:46:44,570
Thank you, everybody. Goodnight!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
891
00:46:49,330 --> 00:46:51,050
Thank you.
892
00:46:54,490 --> 00:46:57,770
Go, vote!
893
00:46:57,770 --> 00:47:00,450
Ohio, Trumpland!
894
00:47:05,050 --> 00:47:06,210
Thank you, everyone!
895
00:47:09,050 --> 00:47:10,810
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
896
00:47:25,890 --> 00:47:28,810
Mexicans, up there, don't forget to
pay...
897
00:47:28,810 --> 00:47:31,570
When you leave the wall, we have to
pay for that wall.
898
00:47:49,050 --> 00:47:52,010
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