Original subtitles

"Before big decisions, it's good to do something relaxing."

Paulo Coelho

I want to go home!

Inari!

Two weeks earlier

Even though Kapu was one of my closest friends

I didn't meet him very often over the last few years.

He was traveling.

But what I heard of him made me jealous.

Kapu had finally found the joy of life

unlike me or probably everyone else in this room.

Kapu had the courage to do everything he'd only dreamed about before.

If our thread of life should suddenly snap

how many of us would be relieved to know

that we lived life to the fullest, if only for a moment?

We, who repeat our meaningless rituals day after day.

We, who can't see further than the Muoniontie petrol station.

We, who do the same old shit from morning till night...

LAPLAND ODYSSEY 3

"The seed exercise. Kneel on the ground."

"Sit down on your heels and bend your body forward

until your head touches your knees."

"Stretch your arms behind you. You're in a foetal position."

"Relax and forget all your stress."

"The seed no longer wants to be a seed; it wants to grow."

"Slowly begin to move your arms and straighten up, little by little

until you're sitting on your heels."

The converter box needs to be fixed. Did you hear me? Janne!

"Suddenly, one finger moves."

"The seed no longer wants to be..." The guests are arriving.

No, I'm... constipated.

You just plug the electrodes into the headphone port

and the app will turn all music into electrical impulses.

You're actually able to feel the music.

Where do you attach the electrodes?

You can stick them wherever you like. Beatron is the new Spotify.

Um... Maarit, didn't you say you were on antidepressants for a while

and they helped you through the worst?

Yeah. They worked for me.

What's up, Janne?

Operating ski lifts in the winter again?

"The seed no longer wants to be a seed; it wants to grow."

I thought I'd go to Spain. Huh?

I'll walk to Santiago de Compostela. What?

You mean the pilgrimage route? Have you gone bonkers?

No. Doesn't that take months?

Two. Well, you're not walking anywhere.

My parents can help out with the kids.

What is this? You even take out the rubbish by car. Exactly.

Can't you go somewhere closer? There are attractions here.

Like the HettaPallas trail. It's not the same.

Well, you're not going to Spain for two months. That's for sure.

PALLASTUNTURI FELLS

Wake up. You won't believe what just happened. What?

This fell off the garage shelf.

Look at the badge. Look! Pallas. What?

Pallas!

Have you been drinking? No...

I was on that school trip, or we were. Who?

Kapu and I. Kapu's ashes haven't been scattered yet

and when I'm old, and Kapu is not...

I mean, he'll never be old.

I'm going to walk from Hetta to Pallas and scatter his ashes there.

Okay.

July 12th, 2017. Day zero.

The preparations have electrified me. The flame is tiny but burning.

We're going now. Your mum's here. Okay.

Fix the converter box!

Dad... I'm sorry about this overlap, but...

I owe Saana a hundred favours

and the team needs a carer.

Well, don't exhaust yourself unnecessarily.

This is purely a sports trip.

Hello. You don't mind if we take a leak?

Hi.

Bye bye!

Thanks for letting me come. I would've gone crazy at home.

I just spent a week and a half alone with the kids.

My turn to enjoy the perks of shared parenting.

It went for my tits! What a rude creature.

Just go ahead.

The wilderness has been my church, too.

I've always found peace in the forest.

PENIS

What's up, prick... ly beards?

My gig at the fair was canceled. I thought I'd join you for the hike.

You? Hiking? Yeah.

Where's Räihänen? I haven't talked to him about this.

I figured this would be a retreat.

What? A retreat.

Fuck off.

Bye then. Bye.

Are you coming?

Would you come to the lake with me?

I would dive for a white pearl just for you...

Day 1. July 13th, 2017.

The path is open.

This is the beginning.

I think of the words of the musical genius Gösta Sundqvist:

"He leaves, though leaving, he feels a pang."

"Leaving is the main thing, he remembers someone saying."

Let's try to reach the Pyhäkero ravine today.

Isn't there a good hut on the shore?

We should walk at least ten kilometres. For the feet to adjust.

You're not seriously going to walk to Pallas? What do you mean?

I thought hiking was just a ruse to fool the wives. Huh?

You said it sort of like... "Hiking".

No, I didn't.

I don't have any gear except my frisbees and this.

You're not blasting music out here.

This is a Bluetooth speaker. The response is up to 76 hertz.

I hear that in 1980s houses, the bases damage easily.

Humidity will go through into the bottom exterior wall.

Seriously. There's a weird smell.

How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

One, two, one, two.

Ladies and gentlemen, ladies and playboys

welcome to the recreation weekend for Kolari Property Services.

Our destination is Vuokatti, and the travel time is about six hours.

Merja will hand out the team shirts. Do they come in slim fit?

I also have a little announcement. Last week, it was confirmed

that Uolevi won't come back to work from his sick leave.

Oh. Uolevi is nice.

So, we'll be accepting applications for the managerial top position.

If there's no opposition.

Why don't you apply? You've worked in personnel management.

Your turn, Inari. I don't know anything about property services.

Are we playing? And I can't put Ilja in daycare yet.

Janne will be operating ski lifts again. Inari!

Hey, are you playing or not? Okay.

Alright! Who's that click calling? Business, business!

I didn't promise four percent. Two is the max. Fuck you, too.

Interface, my ass. How about some peer support?

If you must follow, could you at least shut up?

I'm trying to get in rhythm.

Okay, I'll get back to you. And leave the beers here.

I won't carry you. These are expensive beers!

I ordered these from Holland. 15.6 percent ABV, freeze distilled.

Right. Goddammit!

The 3G network doesn't work anymore.

I haven't jacked off without porn for three years.

I'll have to settle for Beatron.

Have a crisp. I'm on a gluten free diet.

Why? Gluten causes chronic intestinal inflammation.

And that may cause depression.

The intestines are our second brain. In fact, our original brain.

So, this is Finland's most beautiful hiking trail?

The same backwoods as everywhere else.

Listen to this.

Doesn't this ease the soul already?

Girls, let's sprint across the bog!

Hi. Hi.

Bloody hell!

Good thing they came away. Maybe there's no one at Pyhäkero.

What's this, Summer Services? No, a confirmation class hike.

And these guys are training for a gospel festival.

Fucking fuck.

Goddammit! Räihä! Räihänen is over there!

What's up, prick? What are you doing here?

He's walking to Pallas, and I'm stupid enough to follow. Hi.

Didn't you know? No.

I came to do some fishing. They've planted whitefish in Ullatieva.

I caught some.

What an unbelievable coincidence. Fucking great!

All the gaylords in the same canoe. Are you going to stay long?

I'll kill myself if I stay here.

Motherfucker. There's an outhouse, a well, and everything!

This path leads me towards myself.

It seems a twist of fate that I'm accompanied by these very people.

Maybe it was meant to be.

Are those Meindl boots brand new? Yeah.

Have they worked well? Yeah.

Should I invest in a pair? Rubber boots don't give much support.

Maybe they're on a journey towards their inner selves, too.

I'm going to throw up!

Right. Wait till we reach the top of Pallas.

Beatron, Beatron...

Want something to drink? Cut brandy, and you don't even drink!

Have a look at this.

What are these?

They look like wood anemones.

No, they're not wood anemones.

Boys, what do you think is the meaning of life?

Well... For me, it's our firm breaking through

and me making a lucrative exit.

Then I'll have a party on a yacht in Monaco with a hundred hookers.

Plus Maarit. You're invited, too. Thanks.

What's the meaning of life for you, Räihänen?

I don't know. Maybe bench pressing 150 kilos.

Inari thinks I'm useless.

Nonsense. You're a good guy.

Isn't he, Räihä? Yeah.

But still a bit useless. No, you're not.

A bit useless, I'm sure! You're not at all useless.

Why did I eat so damn much? I was supposed to lose weight here.

He's totally useless.

Hey, take a look!

Unbelievable!

Timo! Unbelievable!

Kolari Property Services SWAMP SOCCER 2017

Alright.

We're leaving for the bog at 8 a.m. Keep that in mind.

I'm calling the bottom bunk.

Take your shoes off!

Is there a fridge? We need to get the beers cold.

We need to get to the shore.

I'll tell the driver. You're the hippies from Kolari.

You didn't come to play, did you? I didn't.

Good. It would've been a shame to slaughter such a princess.

By the way, this is our driveway. We were told that we could park here.

Really? Who told you that? The rental agency.

I'm sure there's another road.

Is Timo inside? Go get him. He's busy.

We've won the firm tournament twice in a row.

We rented the most expensive cottage. And we have platinum VIP passes.

But we can always call the organizers

and ask them.

That's right. Fuck off, or I'll kick your ass.

What's taking so long? They won't move their bus.

They're from Kolari Property Services. This is our driveway.

Take another road to the shore.

We'll back off.

Who left his bag in the middle of the floor? Honestly!

Are the beers in the fridge? Hi.

Hey, who decides on Uolevi's successor? Timo.

"It's time to break away."

"Repeat this exercise for seven clays, always at the same time."

Would you turn that down, please?

Go, Janne!

Go for it!

I'm serious, turn that down!

Fucking hot in here.

Fucking pricks, turn that thing off!

Excuse me. I don't know if I can play.

My gout is acting up in my knee.

Is there any chance I could play?

I used to play football, and I still play floor ball.

I guess it's okay. If the captain doesn't mind.

Haven't I told you I can't talk on the bus? I get sick!

I'm sure it's fine. Here we go... Too late.

There's a lot of people. Let's go with the flow.

Welcome to the Swamp Soccer Firm Tournament 2017!

Let's roll up some peat!

The crowd starts pouring into the field.

We have a world class atmosphere out here.

We have teams from Turva, Varma, and Vuokatin Aateli.

Kolari Property Services is pursuing success.

Not to mention a double winner, Kittilä Property Boys.

Let's get the wave rolling and make some noise!

Great!

In field 4, Siilinjärvi Angels...

This game goes to you, since your opponents didn't arrive on time.

Congratulations.

Did we win?

Can we go to the sauna now?

Well... No.

You're closer to the meaning of life. A hundred females sucked your dick.

Give me some of that repellent, so I won't catch gonorrhoea.

In the restaurant tent, reindeer sausage and chips...

My knee is acting up. Oh dear.

Give your all right till the end. Go, guys.

Oh my.

In field 7, FC Big Mikko against Kolari Property Services.

It'll be a tough game.

Hi. Hi.

Have you gone back to work? No.

Saana asked me to help out. Right.

I'm sorry about that night when I was in my underwear...

I misinterpreted the situation.

Normally I never really take Viagra...

And I didn't mean the porn... It was a short circuit. No need to explain.

Especially not here.

You don't need to worry about me chasing you.

I'm dating someone.

Here. Penelope is from Greece. We met in Corfu a year ago.

I had her hair dyed, so she'd feel more at home.

Substitution!

Substitution!

And it's a goal against Kolari Property Services.

I'll do my jab!

Going up field!

Good! Are you stuck?

July 14th, 2017. Day 2.

My feet are sore from yesterday's hike

and my back is tense after a night on the camping mat.

But in some way, all this pain and strain feels good.

I'm finding the ability to strive again.

I still don't know who I am, but at least I know where I'm going.

"I still don't know who I am, but at least I know where I'm going."

Alright, give it to me.

"Maybe the key to happiness is learning to set goals for oneself."

Don't you know who you are?

You're not a new bestselling author, that's for sure.

Guys...

Oh my... Naturists.

What nice weather. Where do you come from?

Kolari... Or he's originally from Pelkosenniemi.

I meant your direction. Is Hannukuru far away? Oh.

We left from Hetta. Maybe 12 kilometres.

I see, you're like locals. From these parts.

Right.

Where are you... What?

Uh... Where are you from? We live in Helsinki.

For the time being. I hope you don't mind us being naked.

No... we're not particular. What did I tell you? No one cares.

These boys are from the North; they're children of nature.

Ilkka was whining: "Dare we really hike in the nude?"

Absolutely! Hello! Nudity is the most natural thing in the world.

Right? Yeah, it's quite natural...

Should we be going? I'm getting hungry.

This is so liberating! I warmly recommend it. Amazing!

Have a great hike. You too.

See you. And welcome.

"Welcome"?

They're going to Hannukuru, too. Let's follow them!

No. There's nothing more pathetic

than middle aged men drooling over random asses.

Fantastic playing! Substitution.

Go, go! About the Personnel Manager job...

Yeah? Fucking faggots.

I was just thinking... My parental leave is ending soon.

And your group seems nice.

I kind of promised the job to Kai.

Rub my back! Lower, goddammit!

No... Say it. This is a good one.

Fucking knock knock. Who's there?

Don't you know? Did you get it? He doesn't know!

I ate too much again. Maybe you're filling your inner void.

You feel small in a landscape like this.

You almost forget who you are.

Julius... Does your click still hurt?

Yeah.

But in some way, the pain feels good!

Well, well... Yeah.

Well, hello. Hello.

I see you're hiking, too.

Yeah. Right.

Not bad weather. No.

Yeah. But there might be a storm tomorrow.

Yeah.

You're going to Ylläs? Pallas.

Right. Well...

I think we're... Yeah.

You look fit.

Hi. It's like the sliding doors of a department store.

Um... Yeah?

Maybe you can... take this.

Since I haven't got round to it at Christmas. I've been busy.

Your grandfather carved this during the Continuation War.

With a bayonet. Thanks.

Yeah. Right.

Was that your clad with his sons?

Quite jovial people, you Räihänens. Couldn't get a word in edgeways.

Kämä... There are some things you shouldn't joke about.

It must've been serious business when he made you with your mum.

Wait. Wait!

We're halfway on the hike.

From now on, each step will take us closer to the end than the beginning.

Thank God!

On the journey, you realise that it will end at some point.

What's been left behind, where 's the destination... Come on!

I'm starving. I wish I could eat a sausage.

The naturists.

Oh, hi.

I think the ground is more even over there. Yeah.

Can I boil water with your cooker? He's struggling to assemble ours.

I'll use this.

If you want to do it fast, use this.

I have a gas burner, too. Brand new.

But the air intake in this creates a cyclic flow.

This has the best thermal efficiency.

A neoprene cover retains heat.

Never mind! They had extra water.

70.

And it's 80!

20,30,40!

Alright! What a fantastic clay! Everyone excelled themselves.

Sometimes the opponent is just better.

Tomorrow morning, we're facing our toughest competitor

Kittilä Wank... Sorry, Property Boys.

Now, Kai will present us with a game plan for winning.

Who's that Kai? Timo's nephew.

We're going to score at least once at this tournament.

Go ahead, Kai.

Let's take a look at yesterday's game plan.

We didn't score one single goal...

You did this to it.

Then...

And finally...

You did this. Thank you, Kai.

I think we got the message.

Excuse me.

This is none of my business, but why not make Juuso the forward?

After all, he plays football in the Second Division.

The goalie should be someone big who isn't afraid of the ball. Pekka.

I mean... That was just a suggestion.

Sounds smart. We could try to help Juuso score headers.

There's no use trying to kick it in. I'll second that.

Me too.

That's exactly what I was going to suggest!

But will you stick to the plan?

If you have a CV, send it to me.

Hey dude, come out already!

I mean it! This is the only toilet!

Glutenfree, my ass.

How about you? No, thanks. We're vegetarians.

Yeah, thanks. When in Rome.

Gluten damages my intestinal lining. Oh no.

This may sound strange

but would you mind if we had some... magic mushrooms?

I've been doing some soul searching lately with their help.

I think they would work best in the wilderness.

Why did you bring them? Shouldn't I have?

It doesn't go with what we talked about.

You're ruining the atmosphere!

Okay. Well, I'm not taking drugs and tripping out here.

Drugs? They're Finnish liberty caps!

What do you mean by soul searching?

19... and 20.

I wonder if this is wise.

Shouldn't you try everything once, except Zumba?

That's right.

It may take an hour for them to kick in.

Just give us space and don't ask us to report how we feel.

Do you feel anything? Are they kicking in?

How about we take turns in telling why we came here?

Yeah, I'll start.

Hanna and I decided to turn over a new leaf in our relationship.

We gave up contraception and came here to make a baby.

Ilkka, it sounds terrible when you put it like that.

There are other reasons besides a baby.

I can see that.

It was a total surprise bumping into these guys.

I was going fishing and figured I'd practice joking while at it.

You? joking? I've written a joik about the debt crisis in Europe.

And about Jouni's Supermarket. I'm a musician myself.

I've made a sound sculpture...

What the fuck? How long do the effects last?

About six hours.

Tapio. That idiot is the only one who believes we met by accident.

Your clad won't start loving you even if you bench press 2,000 kilos.

He's a prick. Have you noticed? Okay!

Hey! I've been listening to that bullshit for three hours!

Tapio, everything will be alright.

Yeah?

It's me, hi. What did you mean when you said

that I should get on my feet mentally, for us?

What's the time? Don 't you remember?

I'm glad you called.

This is just speculation

but would it be impossible to put Ilja in daycare in the autumn?

Oh, wow. Is that a no?

Don't mess with me!

If! don 't cheer up, you'll leave me? Are you drinking?

What if I am? Don't mess with me, Zumba woman.

Here are Hanna's morning temperatures...

Mashed potatoes not available in ready meals...

Janne, what are you doing? Wartime instruments.

They're old grenades! Oh. Let's get the fire going then.

Don't they... Goddammit!

Unbelievable! It was raining rocks over my tent!

No worry. Gas bottle explosion.

We're calling poliisi, not you.

I'm a useless man. Stop that wallowing.

No, it wasn't a coincidence I was at Pyhäkero.

I thought it would be nice to scatter Kapu's ashes together.

He was my friend, too. But no. Go alone then!

Goddammit! My supplements are gone. And my phone is broken!

What's got into him? Kapu's ashes?

I thought I'd take them to Pallas.

Räihä was right. You're not the only one with problems.

Maarit has endometriosis, and Dad is drinking again

but I don't go around reciting some fucking self help books!

Go to bed!

Look what they did! Can't one have any peace and quiet anywhere?

Rocks raining over me!

What am I doing here? I know less about life than I did when I left.

Fuck, I 'm a terrible person.

Where 's the next maintenance road?

I'll hitch a ride on an A TV, pick up the kids... Wait!

Do you mind if I walk with you today?

Ilkka's having his period or something.

Come along. Yay! Great.

Day 3. On the other hand, why cut the journey short?

Hi. Hi.

I have to say you played well yesterday, and voluntarily.

That takes some time management, with little kids and all.

You have time to come running after a ball and drinking.

You even have time to flirt with Mikko.

I respect that. Right back at you.

It's nice that you haven't let your autism limit you.

You keep up with the others.

It's nice that you have sheltered work with your uncle.

Right. Before today's games...

Many of you probably wonder where I disappeared last night.

Shame on you. It was a business meeting.

May I introduce our firm's new partner

whose hotel's maintenance deal will go from Kittilä Wank...

sorry, Property Boys, to us.

Ladies and gentlemen, Datsuns and Ferraris

Mikko from Big Mikko!

Good morning, everyone.

Yeah.

Now that we're part of the same team

Timo and I thought that for the rest of the tournament

I should join your team in the bog as a reinforcement.

And now, as a symbolic gesture...

I'm putting on your team's yellow...

The other way round. Yeah. Shirt.

Like this.

This is just fantastic.

Welcome to Vuokatti and the second day of Swamp Soccer!

In field 3, there will be a wild ride.

The newcomer, Kolari Property Services

will meet the two time champion of the firm tournament

Kittilä' Property Boys!

You're so going to die.

Especially you, traitor!

The game looks extremely dirty.

Socks, legs, and shins are assaulted.

That's forbidden, especially with studs first! Outrageous!

Pass the ball! Over here!

Looks like the Property Boys are in complete control of the game.

Looks like 10! Yes!

Substitution!

Hi. If you're looking for a more dynamic team at some point

give me a call.

20 for Kittilä. What a rough ride!

First aid team, you're needed in field 2...

Maybe I'm not useless after all.

What if there's just something lacking from my life?

Maybe I'm not touched enough, at home.

Phew. I feel hot.

How about some naturism? I'm in.

Come on, guys. Let's fool around. Fool around?

Your fooling around cost me all my water. I'm thirsty.

UP field!

The game has been ugly... Let me see some blood!

Inari is on form today. Yeah. I hope she doesn't get hurt.

She's pregnant.

Is she? I heard her talking to Saana last night.

She didn't drink anything. Substitution!

I mailed you my CV. Did you get a chance to look at it?

Yeah. It looked good. Good.

I'll keep you in mind if something opens up sometime.

Go, go!

You can't consider me for Uolevi's position? Well... no.

As I said, it's been promised to Kai.

Good, good! Go for it!

Alright! Let me see some blood!

Beer'.

Mind if I join you?

Damn, we play well together. Like in the old clays

when we played NHL 95 on my Sega, remember?

Do you mind if I join you guys at the cottage tonight?

Timo invited me.

I thought I'd check with you first if it's okay.

We could talk things through honestly, so there won't be any...

Yeah, let's talk. Why don't we talk right now?

I'm uncomfortable with you making some Greek girl my lookalike.

And you giving your maintenance deal to Kolari Property Services

just to get a chance to play with me for two days!

Mikko... I will never, ever

under any circumstances date you again.

Mikko, you're a very little, sad man!

Do you understand? Besides, I love Janne.

Maybe not always, but usually.

Was this honest enough for you?

There went the future of this firm. If that was it, good riddance.

Water! Water!

I need food quickly. Do we have anything?

What?

Has someone taken my insulin? Your what?

My insulin syringe. I have type 2 diabetes.

Why haven't you told me? I threw it away. What?

I thought you were shooting hormones. Really?

Sweet water! Should we boil it first?

Your mama boiled water when she was making you!

Fuck... Is it fresh?

Are you finished with your games?

Would you like to see a proper party? Join us on our island.

There's food, drink, Dj, and all.

Shall we go?

I'd like to come. Welcome.

Muscles are sore, but tomorrow is the last day...

Inari!

We'll talk later. What the hell?

We'll get back to the trail through there. Isn't it in that direction?

I need something with sugar quickly.

Let's think outside the box. What if we don't go to Pallas?

The Raattama road is in that direction.

We can hitch a ride to Levi. Goddammit!

I remember the summer I worked as a hostess on a heritage cruise.

In Kemi. It was very challenging work.

I was the best hostess they'd had. How about we throttle up?

This engine has some torque!

Your opponent didn't show up, so the last game goes to you.

It means you advance from your division with two wins.

Congratulations. Without a single goal?

Where's Mikko?

Can someone please help me out?

Hey...

Let's quickly get him some warm, dry clothes.

Timo... Yes?

Something white.

The path runs behind that peak. This will save us five kilometres.

I'm feeling a bit weak.

We'll cook some porridge if we don't meet anyone. We still have some left.

Is this quite safe? Let's just enjoy the journey.

I'm enjoying the hell out of it.

Goddammit!

Did you hurt yourself? My knee!

Does it hurt?

Don't touch it!

Does it look bad?

Yeah... Nothing to worry about. It's just dislocated.

Feels kind of funny. We can't carry you anywhere.

I'll pull from here. You take the other end, Hanna.

Right, Tapio? I don't feel very well.

On the count of three.

Yep. One, two...

Three.

Does it stretch, goddammit?

Did you hear a crack?

The strangling hand. I've clone it at the kids' birthday parties.

Quite a shindig you have here. Isn't it?

Whenever I've worked in personnel management

I've spared no effort in arranging these events.

After all, an open bar is a big carrot for many employees.

Or... You have lots of other things, too.

And I'm not into drinking myself. I have two children.

I don't want to tire myself like that anymore.

You have an interesting firm here.

I was just wondering...

I'm sorry...

I guess I've made a dumb impression of myself.

I don't usually babble like this, but... Can we start over?

Don't sweat it.

We can talk about work next week, okay?

Let's just relax and enjoy ourselves now.

I'm sorry, I was an idiot.

I'm just longing to go back to work.

I can't stay at home anymore. I'll go crazy.

I'd be ready to do anything, anything at all.

The men's sauna is ready. Just a moment.

Sorry, what were you insinuating?

I mean... Not again! I guess this is my curse.

I'm aware of my sex appeal

but is it really that irresistible?

I mean... What did she insinuate?

She said she'd do anything if I employed her.

Yeah, any kind of work! And then she put her hands on me.

She also threatened to beat us up.

You're saying it wasn't a sexual hint? No, it wasn't!

Besides, the atmosphere here is quite sexual anyway.

Excuse me? Pole dancers and show girls...

Dad, what are you talking about? Hold on, honey. Daddy's working.

It's my daughter's competitive pole dancing team!

How can you see it as sexual?

Those people bathing and... And those...

They have atopic eczema! Hot baths relieve it. Yeah!

Erja, come here!

Care to repeat what you just said? This is my wife.

There's a ring under this glove.

We have zero tolerance of all forms of sexual harassment.

It's been a matter of honour!

I'm sorry... Can I go now?

No, you can't. We're going to settle this. Dj!

Sorry, honey. Turn off the music!

Did she really come on to you? No!

Hey! Sorry about the interruption. May I have your attention?

Our weekend's theme has been equality

and now we happen to have a bad example

of the kind of sexual harassment our firm doesn't tolerate at all.

There she is! This is the woman I'm talking about.

She doesn't have any dignity. You can't behave any way you please!

That's our sunlounger! You have quite a way to go!

Take that, slag! Keep rowing!

Storms pass quickly out here. I'll cook us some porridge.

He's going to faint! I'm sorry I ruined your hike!

This isn't your fault. I know you didn't want me to come along!

I didn't want anyone to come along! I wasn't invited to Kapu's funeral!

You didn't even know him!

Tapio, goddammit! Write a joik about this.

I know I can never fill Kapu's place!

I'll always be just the fatso from Pelkosenniemi! What?

We're all going to die! No, we're not!

You're laughing at Beatron! It's the stream water.

There's nothing to worry about. This is normal out here.

We live in Lapland!

I'm sorry, honey. Mummy's been a little absent.

Mummy's been at home so long...

And I've been with Daddy so long.

Listen. Don't give the phone to Grandma yet.

And Mummy's uterus is prolapsed. That's troubling, too.

Honey?

I want to go home!

Inari!

Are you alive?

I'll look for some firewood.

Change into a dry shirt.

There. One more.

Open your mouth. Here comes the helicopter.

Kämy? Did you shit your pants?

Kämy, I can smell it from here.

Right. I guess it's my turn.

It's nothing. just some shit.

You go on ahead. I'll take a taxi and come to cheer you on.

Alright.

It's Mikko.

Can I come in? No!

You know... I fell into a boghole yesterday.

For a moment, I thought I'd died.

It made me look at things from a different perspective.

You were right. I made the deal because of you.

But I canceled it.

And I broke up with Penelope. It wasn't true love.

Would you like to tell me why you're in there?

I had my eye on the Personnel Manager position

with Kolari Property Services.

I was even mad enough to ask for a job with the Property Boys.

I don't know. Why am I even dreaming of going to work?

Ilja can't even walk properly.

I don't know if I can put him in daycare just yet.

Janne will operate the lifts again in the winter.

On the other hand, I'm frustrated as hell to stay at home.

I feel like my head will explode, washing poopy butts all day.

Listen, your heroism lies in...

that you're a mother.

Stay home. The children are small only once.

My mother sacrificed her career and stayed home for me

even though it was difficult for her.

Had she not made that sacrifice...

I wouldn't be the man that I am today.

Where are you going?

Help!

Do you have a phone?

Our friend has a dislocated knee, and we need to call for help.

Sure. Do you mind running with us while you call? That's fine.

Where are we exactly?

I'm going back. Good. Bye. Thank you.

Hello.

Yesterday was child's play. You lost 40.

Now the boys feel that playtime is over.

You may as well surrender, so no one gets hurt.

You'll get VIP tickets to the sauna and free reindeer sausage and chips.

That's right.

That's a great offer. I agree.

Hey!

I'm sorry I disappeared yesterday

but I have a couple of new ideas.

Maybe even good ones. Keep on brown nosing.

But whose side is she really on?

Sometimes you have to stop beating your head against the wall.

Hey, you have a great team that is willing to work hard.

We don't need Big Mikko. Let's not give up!

Let me be the captain.

Let's show those wankers.

I second that.

We can't change things up like this. I'm interested too.

Well... Let's sweeten the deal.

VIP tickets to Swamp Rock.

And two drinks of choice for each.

Three drinks.

That's possible.

Timo... No.

Well, but...

No!

The porridge did me good. From which direction will it come?

Is it a long way to Pallas? About 20 kilometres. Why?

I was just thinking. They won't take others aboard the chopper.

I think I'll walk to Rihmakuru. I bet Ilkka is waiting for me there.

And we haven't scattered the ashes. I blew them up, too.

Shit happens.

Let's go. You don't have to join me.

Do you still have those mushrooms?

Target spotted, but there's something we didn't expect.

The target is limping towards Pallas and flipping us the bird.

You're clearly a great dad. I don't know about that.

No, you are! I've been thinking about our baby plans.

When I saw what you did out there...

I don't know if Ilkka's got what it takes. Men mature so goddamn slowly.

Hey, listen...

I'm sorry.

These things come and go in life. This has been a great experience.

Have a good life, Hanna.

This is wonderful!

Ilkka!

We need to talk. It seems so.

Okay. Did we come here to lose or win? We came!

That's actually good. Huh?

Well? We came!

Kittilä' Property Boys scored. It's 10.

Go, go!

20.

30 for Kittilä.

40.

50.60.

Looks like the ball is completely free.

Why isn't anything happening?

But what's happening now?

A player from Kolari Property Services nimbly sets off!

But no, he gets stuck and can't do anything!

And he proceeds again! He gets to the ball...

And he scores!

Kolari Property Services score!

Their first goal in this tournament! 81!

The match isn't over!

Well? Is everything okay?

I wish you all the best regardless.

Can we be friends? Yes.

Mikko? Yeah?

Do you have a harden'? Rs 'gust a reflex.

Help. I'm dying-

Give me some toilet paper. I really need to take a dump.

You blew that up, too.

Have a crisp. No, thanks.

The Helsinki Olympic Flame was lit on this site

We're here! What?

We reached the summit! Did we?

Wonderful!

Can't we bury something?

Yeah. Since the ashes were left behind.

Let's bury this.

It's still showing.

Do you feel better?

I know what I'm going to do once I've bench pressed 150 kilos.

I'll try for 170 kilos.

I need to stop daydreaming and go to work.

Why?

Beatron is a bloody good invention.

You think so? It's really good.

I think we're done here. Or is there something else?

Backwater town begins KOLARI

It's great to get home and sleep in our own beds.

Daddy's looking forward to it. What?

What did you say?

Oh my. What's this smell of burning?

Come here! Let's get out quickly!

Kolari, Kolari, Kolari...

I decided to make Inari the new Personnel Manager.

She had concrete development ideas. So there.

You'll be her standin when she's on maternity leave.

The house is on fire.

I was thinking about all this. So...

Have you tampered with this? I'm clone with the ski lifts.

I have the right to stay home with the kids. I'll manage.

I thought you were dying to work there. Fuck, no.

Well, you're better with the kids these clays than I am.

I'm going back to work. Okay.

You were against it. Why would I be against it?

No insurance will cover this.

I guess we need a digital television set now.

Crazy people.

I think we can sleep in the bedroom tomorrow.

There's a good draught.

Honey? First the sausage, then the sweet.

Good.

Shall we have a sausage?

The kitchen cabinets burn well.

July 17th, 2017. Day 1.

Yeah...

I need to borrow Kämy's trailer and buy some white paint.

And a new charger for the power drill.

Plaster boards, 50millimetre screws and plugs

joint tape, laminate flooring, skirting board...

Oh, and refuse bags, a stronger crowbar, work gloves.

And something nice for Inari. Some pick 'n' mix sweets.

Subtitles: Minna Franssila BTI Studios