All language subtitles for Keeping.Up.With.the.Kardashians.S19E01.Growing.Pains.HDTV.x264-CRiMSON

Malika: I don't wadon't want to
months pregnant, doing it alone.

Khloe:
Why carry this negativity?

Let's just let go.

Scott:
Palm springs, here we come.

It's such a blessing
you're here,

'cause when you're not here,
it's off.

-Stop, stop.
-Something's wrong with kendall.

Kendall, you don't tell me to
shut up. I'm trying to help you.

Kim: Kanye's fashion shows are
always larger than life.

I am so proud of you!

We might go
on a 30-day lockdown.

Newsman: No public or private
gatherings will be allowed.

(coughing)

woman (on phone):
She's in labor.

Scott: A couple of people
told me about this place

and dealing with past trauma.

Somebody leaked me being there
to the press.

Obviously, I don't trust
anybody here.

One of my fears is
you're acting like this

until you get what you want,
and then if you do,

you're gonna turn into, like,
the old tristan again.

Scott's like, "we're going
for baby number four."

is that serious? I want to know.

Kris:
Are you pregnant?

♪ ♪

khloe:
Hi, ladies.

Oh, I'm getting so excited.

Khloe:
How are you?

Khadijah:
I'm good. How are you?

-You smell good.
-Hi.

Oh, my goodness, thank you.

-Hi, yummy.
-How are you?

I'm good. How are you?

We're at our first baby store!

Khadijah:
Aw...

Khloe:
Let's go shopping.

So, my bestie is
in her second trimester.

She's having a baby boy, and

now I feel like we're
in the mom club.

Malika and her baby father
o.T.--

They are not together currently,

so I am
the surrogate partner for her.

So the very first thing
I think about is, obviously,

throwing her the most epic
baby shower.

And then the second best thing--

baby shopping.

I think the dockatot you need.

Well, the white dockatot's
a great idea,

'cause I don't know
what direction I'm going in.

I wonder
if they have covers here.

Do you...?
Oh, where did she go?

Those swaddles
and blankets are pretty.

-Do they have covers, too?
-Yeah.

Oh, okay. I thought
it was just the actual...

-This is, like, the zipper.
-Okay, got it.

-And then
you can buy other covers.
-Perfection.

(quietly):
They are crazy.

Ooh, this thing was excellent

-when I was pregnant.
-White light, white noise.

Is it just me, or were you guys
overwhelmed when you did this?

Like, I'm, like,
I'm still freaking out

that I'm in here... For me.

It's not like
I do this every day.

I never envisioned

that I would have a child
and be single.

I always thought that,

you know,
my baby would be made in love,

but maybe eventually,
I would be married, and...

Or at least be living together.

So,
doing all the nursery shopping

and all this stuff is great
to do with khadijah and khloe,

but ultimately, that's not
the way I wanted this to happen.

(khadijah mumbles)

-that's cute.
-I think yes!

You're doing so good today.

-Thank you.
-I just, like, don't feel like

-fussing with either one of you.
-Lovely, lovely.

I'm not even asking you.

-I'm just buying what I want.
-I... I... Oh, I know.

No. (chuckles)
I'm trying to be nice.

♪ ♪

robert:
Let's see who's here.

Kourtney and khlo, snuggled.

-I'm gonna go take a bath.
-Under here.

Here?

-Or here?
-Oh, yeah.

That spot here?

Uh, just step in this middle.
Right.

Kourtney:
Today,

I have a little shoot
to get some content

for poosh, and then,
we also have a poosh

meeting to develop content.

-911.
-(chuckles)

a lot of my energy does go
to poosh.

All right, I'm gonna go change
really quick.

We're just really

trying, you know, different ways

to get the content
and information out there.

-Hi, guys.
-Hello.

-Sorry. I started going in
on the salad.
-I know.

-It's really good.
-Kourtney: How are you?

What I need from you today--

just, like, a roundup
of, like, quotes

that always make us
feel positive,

so I have everyone's...

-On instagram kind of quotes?
-Mm-hmm.

-Okay. I have some saved.
-Two or three.

Kourtney:
Um, I thought
that we could do a story

on odd jobs,
you know, like asmr.

There's people
that like hearing people eat.

-Oh, that one.
-They, like,

eat, like, hot cheetos
or, like...

Cringe. We're missing
the deodorant sniffer, too.

-Oh, yeah.
-And there's
the professional sleeper,

and then a full-time
netflix viewer.

Wait. Do you know what
the weirdest job is?

-Professional cuddlers.
-(chuckles)

-and, like...
-Michelle: So funny.

Maybe we just do an interesting
story about cuddling.

You know, at poosh, we like
to be, like, very discovery,

and we could go, like, see them
at their jobs, you know?

-And, like, test it out?
-Yeah. That would be fun.

Kourtney:
What me and my family

do for a job isn't necessarily
a traditional job,

and so it got me thinking about

odd jobs that people have.

By the way, I was, uh,
like, a foot model.

-(laughter)
-and when I would go...

(laughing):
It was... It was for skechers.

This was, like, back in the day.

And I would go in, and
during their meetings, like, say

-it was, like,
nordstrom was there...
-Mm-hmm.

...And they wanted
to see the shoe on,

-then I would have to put it on.
-You'd walk in?

I literally forgot
about it-- that until just now.

Funny.

♪ ♪

so, I know it's been a minute,

but we have not forgotten
about the kris jenner prank.

That has not gone away.

So, months ago,
scott, kimberly and myself--

we came up with this kris jenner
paparazzi prank.

I'm thinking
I dress up like her.

We have a paparazzi
take photos of me.

-Yes! That's the money!
-Oh, god.

-Hello?
-Tracy: Hey, kris.

There is someone trying to shop
very unflattering photos of you.

Khloe:
The first set of photos
weren't that believable.

So tonight is the start
of phase two.

Hello, you guys!

Hi!

We need
to get some actual photos

that are gonna be believable.

So, step one--
let's get her really (bleep) up,

and she'll potentially
black out,

and she won't remember
what she did tonight anyway.

-Hi.
-Hi, cutie.

-Oh, you're so beautiful.
-I took your seat.

You guys, I think
we should get this little room

-for valentine's day next year.
-Kim: Yeah, it's cute.

Like, wouldn't this be cute to
have, like, a candlelit dinner

-and a bottle of red wine...
-Mm-hmm.

-...And drinks called
"sex on the beach."
-red wine.

-Kim: Mm-hmm.
-'cause we're on a beach.

Kim:
And I bet you could have sex
right there.

-Kris: Right there. Yeah. Okay.
-We could bring a big blanket.

Waiter: Like me to start you
with a beverage?

-Can I get a martini, please?
-A martini.

-Yeah.
-Would you prefer
drinking vodka?

Whatever's...

Yeah, vodka.
Right now, the plan

is to get her
belligerently drunk

so she essentially blacks out

and can't really remember
what she did tonight.

Not like a blackout. We just
want her to not remember.

A blackout.

Oh, my!

-Mom, you want one, too?
-No.

We should have one.
I've never had a martini.

-This is on the house.
-Kris: Oh, on the house.
(chuckles)

khloe:
Yeah!

-Here we go.
-Thank you.
-Drink that, mom.

Kris:
Here we go.

I have the bartender giving mom
her dirty martinis,

and I have my water martinis,

um, that the bartenders
are giving me.

And mom thinks this is my first
time ever having a martini,

so I have to do the whole...
Like, "oh, this is so bad."

you're such a good actress.

Thank you. I'm good
at pretending to be drunk.

-Yes.
-Once you're drunk enough,

-you know how to just act drunk.
-Yeah.

-Cheers, guys. Cheers.
-Cheers.

-Oh, here he is.
-Oh, another martini! Yeah!

(laughter)

-oh, my god.
-This shrimp is

-making him peefy.
-(laughing)

you know what she's saying?

-Uh-uh.
-(laughing)

that's even better.

In armenian,
she's saying the word "fart."

oh.

(laughing): It's the one
armenian word she knows,

and she's rolling with it.

And she loves it.

Kim had this master idea

of reaching out
to my mom's assistant,

and as soon as my mom gets home
tonight-- and she's drunk

and throwing her clothes
all over the floor, whatever--

to get all of her stuff,

throw it in a trash bag,
and kim will get it to me.

And I will be
in the kris jenner outfit

from my toes to my jewelry.

It's all gonna match spot-on,
and it's gonna look so perfect

that she won't know
if it was her or the imposter.

-Come on, mrs. Hannigan.
-(kris whoops)

-let's cheers it up, babe.
-(laughs) ah!

Corey: Wait. Have you been
drinking that?

-What?
-You've been drinking that
or spitting it out?

-Where would I spit it out into?
-Oh, okay.

Bam! (laughing): Oh.

You owe me some. (laughs)

-okay. Don't worry.
-All right, man.

-Khloe: Peekaboo.
-Go.

(laughter)

yeah, mommy's gonna get laid
tonight.

(laughing)

or she's gonna pass out tonight.

Kris (laughing):
Definitely.

-So tired.
-Oh, are you...? Mom.

-What is going on?
-(kris laughs)

how's your bd?

We do need to start talking
about how we're going to parent.

I don't want to be eight,
nine months pregnant

while doing it alone.

What's the cuddle position?

It just depends
on what feels safe and yummy.

(laughter)

we're like a cuddle train.

Kourtney:
It does make me

a little bit uncomfortable.

I don't know. Maybe not.

-I'm jean.
-Hi. Kourtney. Nice to meet you.

Welcome to cuddle sanctuary.

-This is fei.
-Hi. I'm fei.

Kourtney:
Today,

we are going to do some research

about cuddling being

an actual job.
I'm really excited

to see what this is all about.

Um, we are
professional cuddlers.

We work with clients
and also lead events,

where perfect strangers
can come gather and feel

comfortable enough
with each other to connect

and even to hold hands
or hug or cuddle.

Did you know
that loneliness is more lethal

-than smoking and obesity? Yeah.
-Oh, wow.

Jean: There are so many,
um, folks

struggling
with touch deprivation.

-Fei: Yeah.
-Jean: Without words for it.

Well, what's the cuddle
position? Is it, like, spooning?

Fei:
It just depends on what feels

safe and yummy to you right now.

-Jean: Confer
amongst yourselves.
-I'm, like, not...

If you're feeling a little
awkward, it's very natural.

I want to see,
like, the options.

(laughing):
Yeah.

Kourtney:
I do think that this is
really fascinating.

It does make me
a little bit uncomfortable.

Can I give you a big hug?

-Kourtney: No, thanks.
-Thanks for your boundary.

Well done.

One position
is sitting back-to-back.

Is it comforting?
What are your thoughts about it?

It feels, like,
warm and relaxing.

A little, yeah.

Jean: Would anybody like to try
an oxytocin hug?

Kourtney (laughs):
I don't know.

-We could try it.
-Fei: So, you want to sit

-facing each other.
-I won't get makeup on you.

Great. It's a white shirt.

(laughter)

kourtney:
I didn't really realize it,

but I don't think I'm
affectionate with just anybody.

Kind of like a cuddle train.

Kourtney:
Mm-hmm.

Kourtney:
It's just a little bit,

like, weird, I guess.

If kendall was here,
wow, she would die.

No, I swear.
Now that I've been here,

I never realized it.

'cause I'm super cuddly,
like, with my boyfriend.

-You know?
-Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

-Or my kids.
-(women laugh in distance)

but, like,
did you get cuddled as a kid?

I don't know. Maybe not.

I don't really remember being,
like, cuddly with my mom.

I know our parents would sit

on our bed, I think,
and read us books.

I'm, like, in bed with my kids,
under the covers,

scratching back
and singing songs.

I just have a different memory.

But, like, you and your sisters
would never cuddle?

I don't think so.

Me just giving

my sister a simple hug

just seems so...

Not normal.

(crying)

like, uncomfortable and awkward
for both of us.

We're just not

very affectionate.

Robert:
Kourtney, it's time to wake up.

Kourtney:
Stop...

-Khloe: Kourtney...
-Khloe, stop it now!

I don't know,

are any sisters, like,
laying in bed,

like, cuddling with each other?
I don't know.

I feel like this made me realize

that I'm not, like,
a cuddly person in general,

unless it's...

My, like, a boyfriend or...

-My kids.
-Somewhere you feel,
like, super safe, probably.

-Yeah.
-Fei: Really appreciate

your curiosity and, like,
your open-mindedness.

I think the fact
that you came means that you

-didn't immediately write it off
-mm-hmm.

As something that was too weird.

And I think
it was interesting to get

more clarification
of what it is.

I think
it's really fascinating,

you know, how much human touch

we really need
and that most people don't get.

I love to cuddle.

That's, like,
the perfect bookend.

♪ ♪

hello! How exciting!

-Hi, toots.
-Hi.

Congratulations.

-Thank you.
-Isn't it fun?

-It is.
-Look at your nice couch.

Look, I'm all dirty.

Well, you're gonna
get dirty today.

What do you need help with?

Um, I just want you
to have a look,

tell me what you think,
give me a little direction.

Yeah, I'll help you
with whatever you need.

Okay. Come. Okay.

Your new white countertops--
look how nice.

Love, right?

Khloe:
Malika just recently

purchased her very first home,
and I am so,

so proud of her.

That's all baby's section.

This could have a bigger shelf
out so you utilize...

-Right, you told me to do that.
-'cause you need as much

storage space for baby stuff.

You don't realize
how much crap you're gonna get.

I really want to be there
for malika

as much as I can,
as best as I can.

She has
to be setting up a nursery.

There's so many new things that
malika's gonna be taking on.

Where are you putting...?

Is his stuff here yet, or no?

Okay, so his crib
has gotten here.

Remember,
we're waiting for the dresser.

When are you gonna start
putting his room together?

I w... I want to do it sooner
rather than later. I just...

When I just, like,
talk to my son's father,

he goes,
"oh, we have time for that."

that's his answer to everything.

I'm like, "good to know you're
not gonna be any (bleep) help."

me and my son's father

actually dated for,
like, two and a half years.

But we're just
in two different places

in our lives and...

I decided
that it was better for me

to not stay in the relationship
because it was just getting

harder and harder,
but we've agreed

to co-parent

and bring our son
into a loving environment,

and
that's the most important thing.

I, like, literally can't sleep.

My angst is not a joke.

So, I guess I need to get
a handyman here to...

-Set everything up?
-Yeah. Put his crib together,

'cause his dad
doesn't do stuff like that.

Hop up in there, khlo. Yeah!

We know you went to mastro's.
What are you doing now?

-(coughing)
-oh, yeah.

I think puke.

(scott cackles)

-okay, should we take a photo
on this?
-Yeah.

-You want flash or no flash?
-Flash.

(camera shutter clicking)

hey.

-Hi!
-Hey!

I have one photo left.

Do you want me to take you,
like, eating a burger?

-Sure.
-(laughing)

stephanie:
That's cute.

(whoops)
we can get...

-Oh, wait. Do I have one left?
-(laughs)

all right, take one
of me and steph.

What should we do?

-Drink our...
-Oh.

-(click)
-was it supposed to flash?

-That's fine.
It's bright in here.
-It's fine.

-Was that the last one?
-Yeah.

-Okay.
-You're done.

Um, you have no idea
what we just did.

-What'd you do?
-(chuckles)

we went to this cuddling...

-Sanctuary?
-Stephanie: Mm-hmm.

-Kourtney: You know about it?
-Yeah.

-Stephanie: Really?
-Have you done it?

-No. My friends did it.
-Stop.

-Why?
-So awkward, huh?

-It was.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Kourtney:
Especially in the beginning.

My hands were literally,
like, sweating.

-I was like,
"what are we about to do?"
-I can't believe

you did that. I would never
be able to do that.

No, because I think
that, like, I'm super cuddly

with, like, a boyfriend
or with my kids.

But in our family, we're not,
like, cuddly with each other.

No, I'm not,
like, a touchy person.

No, but none of us are, 'cause

do you remember cuddling
with mom really?

-No. More so with my dad.
-Yeah.

Talking to kendall,
it's really making me think,

it's not just me. I think

it's something
that's in our family.

I think maybe we all feel

a little bit uncomfortable
with affection.

Are you cuddly, like,
with, a boyfriend?

-Yeah.
-Yeah.

But that took me
a really long time.

-Stephanie: Really?
-I was all... I...

When I was younger, especially,
I was very like...

-I don't know. I had a weird...
-I feel like I was, too.

Oh, my god. My eye is twitching
so crazy right now.

-Stephanie: Which one?
-This one.

-Oh, I see it.
-Can you see?

-Kourtney: Oh, yeah.
-It's so crazy.

I feel it.
It's, like, really gnarly.

♪ ♪

what is she doing?

Mommy.

-Hey, hey, grandmommy.
-It's still mommy.

It's mommy.

Scott:
Oh, hey, kris.

-Fire. The saga continues.
-Khloe: Yeah.

How was it last night,
khloverton?

Well, I am wearing--
that's the only thing--

the exact same outfit
that my mom had on.

Did you get her rocked,
is the question?

Oh, my god.
She was so hammered.

No!

She thought
that I was drunk, too.

Oh, perfect.

It was... Amazing.

Matthew got all of her clothes
that she was wearing last night,

'cause she just threw those
babies all over the floor.

He gave them to kim,
and I am gonna be

head-to-toe kris jenner-- from
the shoes, jewelry, all of it.

And we're gonna go
to the liquor store.

We're gonna pap it up.
Sell this (bleep).

-Pranks continue, my friend.
-Yup.

I think we should park
right up front.

Scott:
Break a leg.

Scott: We've got vartan,
the photographer.

Now fall over a little.

Please don't be
a possum in here.

Scott:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah!

I love that.
Khloe, where are you?

-Is this the dumpster?
What am I doing?
-You're diving.

You're going
to throw something out.

That's all.
You're a little tipsy.

More spill, more spill.

Hop up in there, khlo.

-Yeah! Yeah!
-(laughing)

yes! You forgot something.

-You threw something out,
now you lost it.
-(coughs)

get a little bit of the brick
so it feels real.

Get a close-up. I found it.

-Is that good?
-Scott: I feel like

I'm spielberg out there,
shooting this (bleep).

I mean, I'm killing it.
I'm getting every angle.

-Mm-hmm.
-I'm putting together a movie.

Oh, yeah.

Martin scorsese.

Forget abou... Huh?

Scott:
I think puke.

(scott cackles)

yes, the look-around to see if
anyone's here before you, uh...

Wow. That's a good flow.

Khloe:
We have decided
that we're gonna get

christy, our pr representative,
to leak the photos.

We cannot wait.
We think it's more

authentic and genuine
coming from her.

Yeah. It's just digging...

When we do these pranks,
we go...

-We go all in.
-Head first.

You guys, these are so good.
It's the outfit.

You know what? A prank like this
takes time and effort.

We know what we're doing.
We know what she asks for, too.

And she's gonna be like,
"this could be me."

khloe:
Good work, guys.

Robert:
Oh, what a cute picture.

Cheese!

Robert: Do you want
to say something, khloe?

(baby khloe shrieks)

-hey, girl.
-Hi.

I think I should use
the restroom before we sit.

Oh, my goodness.

Where does one find
pink bathroom tissue?

-I googled it.
-(laughs)

I, like, looked at it like,
"right. Okay, that's not me."

oh, my god.
Someone else said that.

They were like,
"I thought I started my period."

no, it was like, "I definitely
shouldn't have one."

yeah, true. Okay, so, like,

what is your vision
of your baby shower?

I feel like
I kind of want to stick with

the theme of, like, his room.
It's black and white.

I kind of want to do,
like, a little baby...

Oh, let me fix my face. Hold on.

(malika clears throat)

I mean, I think black and white
stripe could be so nice.

Ugh.

Beetlejuice,
beetlejuice, beetlejuice.

(laughs)

how's your bd?

We actually had
a good talk yesterday.

-Good.
-I'm like,

we do need to start talking
about how we're going to parent,

like, so it isn't something
that we're just talking about

-when the baby gets here.
-Mm-hmm.

It's like, I'm getting ready
to start interviewing nannies.

I'm getting ready to start,

you know, checking into
pediatricians, and I'm, like,

I don't want to be eight,
nine months pregnant,

trying to get a house together
and a nursery together

while doing it alone.

Khloe:
I could only imagine.

She just bought her new house.
She's paying a mortgage.

She's doing all these things
on her own.

She's now gonna take care
of the baby.

All these things--
it's overwhelming.

And he's like,
"no, and I-I want to be there.

You just tell me what you need."

but he can say anything,
like he's been saying.

It doesn't mean
he's gonna do it,

and then you're gonna be
responsible for that.

He said he was gonna take care

of everything for...
To finish his nursery.

But when is he going to do that?

I love o.T.,

and I love everything
he's saying. It all sounds good,

but malika doesn't need words
right now.

Her due date is right
around the corner.

I would love for malika
to have a sense of security.

It is what it is. We have
these little talks often.

I just pray that it sticks.

Game time, baby.

-Hi.
-So, tmz called yesterday.

They have images
of you from Monday night.

-Christy:
Were you around on Monday night?
-What?

We have to talk
about the baby shower.

Malika (sighs heavily):
I mean, I'm seconds

from not wanting
a (bleep) shower anyways.

Khloe:
Malika.

Are you crying?

Malika: I'm trying to do
the best that I can.

Hi, baby.

-Good to see you.
-Good to see you.

Well, I am starving.
Are you hungry?

Let's just move this over.
I am. I haven't eaten today yet.

-Oh, me neither.
-By accident, though.

I didn't do it on purpose.

-So, we have to talk
about the baby shower.
-Yes.

I think we're gonna give her
what she wants,

but I think it's also gonna be
like, we did this for you.

-It's a collaboration.
-So it's gonna be...

-Yeah.
-You got what you want,

but you got what we thought
would be amazing

for you at the same time.

Should we run that by her,
though? (chuckles)

-sure.
Do you want me to call her?
-Yeah.

Khloe:
Malika's baby shower

is about a week away.

I could not be more excited.

It's gonna be the baby shower
of her dreams.

I want her to be spoiled

and taken care of
from head to toe on this day.

Malika:
Hello, khloe alexandra.

Oh, my god. Hi.

Um, I'm with your sister,

-and...
-Malika: What's up?

Khadijah:
I have a question.

Is there anything you absolutely

do not want at your baby shower?

Malika:
A bunch of people.

Okay. Well,
we're not doing the invite list,

so I still need to get,
like, a gauge.

-How many people?
-Malika: I'm hoping to be able

to cap it at, like, 50, 55.

-Malika.
-Khloe thinks that's too much.

I think you should go back
to under the 40 you told me.

Khloe:
Malika, that's crazy.

Someone who says they don't want
to be around a lot of people.

I'm just saying, I think 55 is
a lot of (bleep) people.

Malika:
I have to allow his mom

to invite somebody
to come with her.

Yeah, she'd be by herself.
She wouldn't know anybody.

(malika sighs heavily)

planning and who can come
and who can't come and

who's involved
and who's not involved.

That's really
(bleep) annoying to me.

Okay, well, you don't have
to be involved anymore.

Malika:
And it's not becoming
what malika wants it to be.

It's becoming what
everybody else wants it to be.

Well, that's why we called you,

because we want
to know what you wanted.

Oh, hung up on me.

For malika
to say that she's so frustrated,

she doesn't even want
a shower anymore,

that's really disappointing
to me.

But I know she would regret it

so much
if she did not have a shower.

Your sister is, like,
freaking herself out.

Let's call her.

Malika:
Hello? (sniffles)

are you crying?

Malika:
I'm just really stressed out.

It's bad enough.
I'm not in the best situation.

I'm trying
to do the best that I can,

and, like, even little (bleep)

that I'm supposed
to enjoy, like my shower...

I know that malika bursting
into tears really has nothing

to do with khadijah or myself.

We can imagine that
it has something to do with o.T.

It's something
that's deeper than us.

I definitely empathize
with her, but

I just want her
to always feel reassured

that I'm there for her.

-Let's enjoy life!
-You're good.

(malika laughs)

-we're good.
-Yes, ma'am. Yes.

You're about
to have a baby shower.

We're about to be so fun.

We'll not have any negativity,
babe.

Malika:
I love you guys.

Both:
We love you.

Malika:
Have a good one.
I'll talk to you guys later.

-Bye.
-Bye.

♪ ♪

-kourtney: Hi, guys.
-Don: Well, well, well.

-The party has started.
-Whoo-hoo!

Kourtney:
Khlo, can you come down?

-What?
-Please?

-Why?
-'cause.
-(stephanie chuckles)

-khloe: Oh, no.
-Kourtney: Hi!

Hi. What's wrong?

Okay. What's happening?

I am just so curious as to why

affection in our family is
so awkward and uncomfortable.

And so I'm just going to lean in
to this uncomfortable-ness,

if that's even a word.

I don't know what's happening.

There we go.
(chuckles)

khloe:
Kourt, why did you decide
to hug me like that?

-Kourtney: Um, because...
-What happened?
You just miss me?

-No, no, no. I was just seeing
the reaction.
-Khloe: Why?

Kourtney: No, I just gave kim
a hug the other day.

-It was definitely awkward.
-(laughs)

-hi.
-Hi. Oh, a hug?

Hi.

What's going on?
I'm sick.

Is this a joke?

Khloe:
My god, I can't ever see
you and kim hugging.

She was like, "is this a joke?"

-but that's how I felt
right now.
-(laughter)

kourtney:
So, I called for north, and then
I gave north a long hug.

North.

You know how long
a hug should be?

How long do you think
a hug should be?

I don't know.

It should be 15 to 20 seconds,
like this.

One, two, three, four, five,

six, seven.

They're very long.

Khloe:
What'd she think?

I mean, I'm sure she thought
I was a looney tune.

I'm trying to see, like,
are we all like that?

Like, kim is definitely
like how I am.

-How's your mom?
-She could be cuddly.
It depends on her mood.

What are you doing?

Hi. Hi.

(chuckles)
hi, kourtney.

-You okay?
-Yeah, I'm okay.

Just going in
for a little huggy?

-Yep.
-Okay.

Are you, like, in a huggy mood?

-Yeah.
-Oh, that's cute.

She was fine for the first one,

but then at the end I was like,
"do you want another hug

before I leave?"
and she was like, "no."

you don't give off an energy
where, like,

you allow people to touch you.

Stephanie:
But when you want to
touch someone, you will.

-Like, you like to hold hands.
-Yeah.

She holds hands
as a security blanket.

Stephanie:
Yeah, it's like a security
thing, for sure.

-Yeah.
-Kourtney: Yeah.

'cause, like, every time
we do a talk show

or we're around
a crowd of people,

-she'll want to hold hands.
-She wants to hold a hand.

-That's her, like, go-to.
-And I know it's... Yeah.

'cause she feels safer
like that.

I'm not, like, abnormal
when I'm out in the world.

No. And I don't think it's,
like, holding you back in life.

-Stephanie: No.
-No, no, no.

But I just thought
it was interesting,

so I wonder if everyone feels
like we're not super cuddly.

I'm a very affectionate person,

and kourtney and I used to be
way more touchy-feely.

But recently not so much.

Recently I don't think kourtney
likes me very much,

but that's okay.
(chuckles)

don:
We're going with the sprints.

-Oh, god.
-No, no. I don't do sprints.

I told you about that.

Kourtney:
Come on, guys.

You're gonna be so fat.

-I'm starting.
-Don: Keep going.

-Good.
-Kourtney: Where should we eat?

♪ ♪

it's so (bleep) perfect.

Get out of here.

Oh, no, she's gonna die.

The day is finally here;
it's malika's baby shower.

She has no idea
what I have in store for her.

Khloe:
How are you?

All of the guests
are trickling in,

and we're just waiting for
the gorgeous guest of honor.

Khloe:
Kylie! Look at this bod.

What are you doing?
We're just showing people

that we're not pregnant?

I know she's gonna cry

because I'm trying
not to cry, mommy.

Khloe:
Oh, is she here?

I'm getting stressed out.

She did say no
to quite a few things.

She's so crazy. She wanted this
all black and white.

I was like, "no."

and I incorporated bears,
which she was not into.

God forbid.

So I really hope she likes
everything that we did for her.

Malika:
Oh, my god.

-Christy:
Let me text these to you.
-Okay, let's see.

What are the trash can images?

Corey:
Yeah, that's you.

I couldn't be more mortified
right now.

-How could you not remember it?
-I don't know.

Could you imagine
another scenario?

No. Like what?

(cheering)

oh, my god. Hi.

(laughing)
thank you.

Khloe:
You're so welcome.

Malika:
You did an incredible job.
How cute is this?

I absolutely love it.

Khloe:
You better work, malika! Work!

You better work, girl.

To see malika
with this beaming smile,

she's glowing
from the inside out,

everybody's praising her.

This is all about how beautiful
of an experience this is,

a moment in time.

And this is how she should
remember her pregnancy.

Who are they?

Khadijah:
They're really big teddy bears.

Look at you!
You look like a goddess.

-Wait, so what's this?
-Khloe: "guess the date."

-that you think
I'm having the baby?
-Yeah.

Malika:
This is the sweetest thing.

Everyone that's in this room
basically knows

how bad I wanted to be a mommy.

The reason why I really wanted
to have a shower

is because it's you women
that have helped me

get through this pregnancy,
100%.

And I'm incredibly thankful to
odis flores for my little boy.

(all cheering)

perfect timing, dad.

I know that co-parenting is
a really long journey,

and it's gonna be... Ups,
there's gonna be downs.

And I love that o.T. Came today,

and I know that makes
malika feel

really good about everything.

'cause all she wants anybody to
do is be excited there's a baby,

there's an angel
coming into the world.

My poor twin sister and khloe.

I've been the most difficult
to deal with,

but never once did you tell me.

You've only shown me
unconditional love,

and I couldn't thank you
any more.

(all cheering)

everyone's here to celebrate
you, and regardless of how

you're feeling, you're never
gonna be alone.

Well, you literally can't 'cause
you have an identical twin.

But besides that,
you have an honorary triplet.

I just want you to know
how loved and celebrated,

and we're all so excited
for you to be a mom now.

This is how it should be,
to... Be celebrated and loved.

I feel very loved
and accompanied

with the most amazing people.

Kris:
Here, turn around.

Oh, honey.

I may be old,
but I'm not done yet.

♪ ♪

kris:
Hi, patootie.

Khloe:
Hey, mom.

Kris:
Is this unflattering?

Do I have a camel toe?

Kim:
No, but honestly,
they're not the best.

-They're not great. Who...?
-No.

-Why do you like them?
-And also, they should
suck you in right here.

-Khloe: And they're, like,
so big.
-Kris: Yeah. Thanks.

I feel so good about myself
right now.

Oh, I think you're so beautiful
and you have a great body.

-I just don't think
those pants...
-How does my hair look?

Amazing.

-Oh, thank you.
-You do.

Kourtney:
All right, guys, are you ready

for our cuddling?

Wait, so what is this?

Kourtney:
This is the cuddle sanctuary

where steph and I went.

-Did they build this tent?
-Yeah.

Khloe:
Do you see the girl?

Kourtney:
She's in there.

This is a professional cuddler.

Khloe:
What? She's gonna cuddle us?

Kris:
I am not...

Khloe:
No, I don't hug

strangers like that.

Kourtney:
No, trust me.

She'll just guide it.
Let's go do this together.

I thought it would be
a great thing.

I think the point
isn't to feel uncomfortable.

I think the point
is to just kind of be in touch

with ourselves and what
we might need from somebody

or not need from somebody.

Jean:
What I'd love to do right now
is called "body and breath."

and that means we're gonna be
connecting with ourselves first.

I'm gonna lie down
'cause it's, just,

my body just feels like that.

You're welcome
to lounge as you are.

And with each exhale,

I'm gonna invite you to release,
relax and let go.

Sometimes making sounds
helps me to release it.

Join me.

(groaning)

(groans)

more of that.

Laughter can help
to release tension.

(laughter)

your body will be like,
"what's going on?

I guess we're having fun."
are you...

-I'm crying...
-Why are you--
why are you crying?

-Is it funny?
-(laughs)

what is it? Is she okay?

Khloe (laughs):
I just love my mom
for being a team player.

My initial reaction to
the cuddle instructor is like,

-"what the (bleep)?"
-so, our next activity

is called "hug, no hug."

if you want to share a hug,

please pay close attention
to the person you're hugging.

Enjoy.

And if they back off, it's over.

Let's give this a shot.
Would you like a hug, kourtney?

-Sure.
-Thank you.

Kris:
Would you like a hug, kim?

-Sure. I would.
-Okay.

Khloe:
Kourt, would you like a hug?

-Sure.
-Yeah.

Kris:
Would you like a hug, khloe?

-Khloe: Love one.
-(laughs): Okay.

Mmm.

Can I suggest something?
I'm gonna do this.

-Yeah.
-Everybody spoon each one,

-just down the line
for five seconds.
-Okay.

-(laughter)
-kim spoons me.

-If she's a yes. Are you a yes?
-Yes, I'm a yes.

-All right.
-Kourtney, are you a yes?
-Sure, yes.

Kourtney (chuckles):
Oh, khloe gets in there.

Kourtney:
You know, after we...

S-- get all of our laughing out,
I think it actually does

feel nice to just lay here
with each other.

I think because there's been
so much misunderstandings

or arguing or whatever has been
going on with us lately,

I think just having a moment
together is just nice.

Jean:
Does anybody want a caress,

like a, like an arm tickle?

Kourt?

-Kourtney: No, thanks.
-Are you sure, kourt?

You don't know what
you're missing, babe.

♪ ♪

scott: I was trying
to get a little color.

Go to the tanning bed. I went
to a real tanning bed on...

-I want to go.
-...Saturday or something,

and I had to go stealth.

But I actually wear sunscreen.

And they were like, "do you want
the package your mom gets?"

I was like,
"ah! My mom goes all the time."

-wow.
-I'm gonna call christy.

It's the day of...

Revealing the photos to my mom.

Christy, our publicist,
is the one

that's going to be calling
my mom about these photos

because it will be the most
authentic coming from christy.

-(line rings)
-khloe: Oh...

Christy (over phone):
Hi.

-Game time, baby.
-(laughs)

-so, she's in the car?
-She's in the car with corey.

He's fully aware.

This morning, we figured it was
best that we involve corey

in on the prank, because
he was with her the night

that she got drunk
and "took these photos."

(over phone): We need your help.
She is gonna get the photos,

but she would have been with you
the night before.

So you're gonna say,
"we stopped at a liquor store

"'cause I had to go
to the bathroom,

-and when I came back to the car
I couldn't find you."
-okay.

We're gonna put you on mute
just so we can listen.

-Ah.
-(christy laughs)

christy:
So I'm gonna talk to her

-and let her know
I have the photos.
-Khloe: Yeah. You can say...

-And then I'll text them to her.
-Scott: While she's
on the phone.

-Yes, while she's on the phone.
-Yeah. Good stuff.

-Christy: Okay.
-Khloe: Okay.

Christy:
Take a deep breath. Here we go.

Scott and I decided
that we should get my mom

over to my house so we could see
her sort of squirm in person.

(phone ringing)

hi. We're just filming
in the car right now.

-Christy: Oh, are you?
-But-- yeah.

-I have a quick, quick thing.
-Yeah.

-Can I run it by you?
-Sure.

Christy:
So, tmz called yesterday,
and they have--

you know, kind of following up
from the images last time--

they have images of you
from Monday night.

They're of you going into the
malibu, like, liquor store,

and you have a bottle of vodka.

On Monday night?

Like, around 9:00 p.M.

-Oh, man.
-What?

-Hold on.
-We did s-stop.

-Where?
-In malibu, on the way home.

I got out of the car, and then

you was out of the car
when I came back.

-They're not, like, super clear.
-Okay, let's see.

I don't see a bottle anywhere.

I just don't remember
what we were doing.

You had to pass them
to go to the bathroom. I did.

I told you to wait, and you
didn't, like, listen to me.

Well, that was a mistake,

-apparently.
-(laughs)

they're fighting. They're gonna
break up over this.

Scott:
Yeah. It's--
something's gonna pop off.

I'm trying to see
what we were doing,

'cause it looks like
corey's next to me...

It's hard to tell
'cause it's so dark.

Christy:
It's hard-- I know.

Corey:
Can I see the picture?

-Yeah, that's you.
-(mouthing)

I mean, it's not, uh...

I know I was really tipsy
and I'd had a lot to drink,

but I always rely on corey.

I couldn't have
any more security.

And yet somebody
has photos of me...

...Drunk as a skunk

at a pit stop
that we apparently made,

and I'm peeing in a parking lot.

I couldn't be
more mortified right now.

I'm embarrassed,
I'm infuriated with corey.

And now what the hell
am I gonna do?

-(laughs): Can't believe this.
-This is amazing.

Christy:
Let me call them
and see what they say.

-(line ringing)
-kim (over phone): Hello?

You're going to (bleep) die.

-What?
-I'm with scott.

Mom-- christy sent mom
the photos.

-She thinks it's her.
-Stop.

She was like-- they're--
her and corey were fighting.

-She was like...
-Scott: Like, "not gonna
do that one again."

"well, that was
a dumb idea, corey.

Why would we stop
at the liquor store?"

-"that wasn't smart, I guess."
-yeah. Like, she was peeing...

-When she was peeing in public.
-...And she was like,

-"note to self:
That wasn't smart."
-kim: Wait. This is so funny

that she thinks this is her.

How is that even possible?

♪ ♪

corey:
Hey, we made it.

Khloe:
Sit down. You look so pretty.

-Kris: Thank you.
-You do.

Kris:
So, how are things with malika

and the-- her baby daddy?

They both don't
really know what to expect,

and she's so hormonal.

And I think it's very emotional
for her, obviously,

but a lot of it,
you just got to let go

'cause it's about the kid.
I just want them to be good.

-What are you doing, mom?
-Scott: I feel like
you're really stressed.

-Yeah. Are you so stressed out?
-Kris: I just got
a lot going on.

I'm very stressed out right now.

-What happened?
-Why?
-Just a...

Just (bleep). Nothing I'm gonna
talk about right now,

-but just a lot going on.
-(phone ringing)

-scott: Do you want a cocktail?
-Yeah.

-You do? Do you want me
to get you a glass of wine?
-Yeah.

No, no, no, no, no, no.
Can I call you right back?

We're still filming. Okay.

-Scott: What was that?
-Just-- I have to go over

some stuff with christy.

-Your publicist?
-Yeah.

-Is everything all right?
-Yeah. Everything's fine.

Khloe:
She's so embarrassed.
She doesn't know what happened.

-Right.
-So now she's sitting
on the couch, like, shaking.

She's literally thinking,
"did I do this?"

khloe:
It just turned
really, really bad

-really soon.
-Really quick.

So we have to confess
and come clean.

Kris:
Hello?

(phone chimes)

-khloe: Mom, is this you peeing?
-What?

Look, you're peeing.
Where is that?

I don't know.
Who sent you that?

What do you mean you don't know
where that is?

-Mom, come on.
-(phone chimes)

oh, I just got another.

"how about
her public urination?"

-how could you not remember it?
-I don't know.

That's really scary.

Could you imagine
another scenario?

No, like what?

Scott:
In another world,
do you ever think that maybe,

just, like, on our spare time,
I get a camera

and your daughter
gets dressed up like you,

and we do really weird things
and look like kris jenner

and send them to publicists?

We're trying
to break the news to her

that it's not her in the photos.

-She's not grasping it.
-No.

-She's-- I don't know
if she's not listening.
-She's already--

-in her mind, it's done.
-(laughs): Yeah.

She's gone, she needs help,
she's blacking out,

she can't live this way,
she's mortified.

She dresses up like you at night
and I follow her around.

We're crazy.

(fading):
We're sick.

(echoing):
Yes! That's perfect.

Oh! That's it.

Yeah, yeah.

Yes, I love that.

(laughs)

-we got her
to really believe them.
-Computing.

And that was the dream.

Khloe:
We've been doing this
since October.

Wow. Wow.

I honestly don't like
you guys anymore.

-You just got...
-Trailer parked.

-Khloe: Kim was in on it. Tracy.
-Everyone's in on it.

Khloe:
This prank is so elaborate.

Now call kim because
she doesn't know that you know.

-Why are we just gonna
throw it away right now?
-No.

Wait, this has all been a prank.

Kris:
Are you (bleep) crazy, kim?

Kourtney:
Kanye's doing a show in paris.

People have been really nervous
about coronavirus.

Kim: I thought you were gonna be
like, "I'm leaving."

-I almost did.
-Scott: We're staying home.

Fashion week's
gonna get shut down.

Kim: We're gonna have to leave.
I am freaking out.