Original subtitles

(CROWD APPLAUDING)

Let's get back to Phil and Diane.

Phil's been having a hard time finding work,

and Diane wants him to talk to her about his fear, his disappointment.

And Phil wants Diane to trust him, that they'll get through this,

ideally without having to keep discussing feelings.

Not your exact words, but am I wrong?

And most guys out there are the same way.

But, ladies, if you're feeling frustrated, remember,

it's not our fault.

We were raised to be strong, not emotional,

to deny vulnerability, not embrace it.

And you know what that makes us?

Dinosaurs. (CROWD LAUGHS)

Nobody needs us to hunt wild animals for food.

Nobody needs us to cut down trees to build shelter.

They need us to evolve.

To catch up.

Since the 1960s, women's roles have shifted radically.

(STUTTERING) And as their roles have changed,

so have women.

Well, they've become tougher,

more demanding of us, their partners.

And who can blame them? Who can...

Who can...

For expecting us to

do the...

(CROWD GASPS)

MARLENE: Joe!

Joe. Joe.

We need an ambulance.

You want? I'm good.

JESSICA: Your limp's almost gone.

It pains me to interrupt the collegial banter.

It pains me even more to listen to it continue.

38-year-old man spikes a fever and collapses during a speaking engagement.

ER checks out blood volume,

cardiac function and autonomic reflexes. All normal.

Our patient makes a living telling men to behave more like women.

Surprised you didn't throw psych symptoms into the differential.

Either way, could be a cerebral AVM.

ER did a head CT, no sign of AVM.

Decent thought, though.

The patient's philosophy makes perfect sense.

Its only flaw is that it's impossible.

Evolution doesn't work that way. You can't talk legs onto a fish.

If we're gonna go extinct, we're gonna do it

drinking scotch and driving muscle cars.

Am I right?

Am I... Thank you.

Cephalic fibromuscular dysplasia? Doesn't explain the fever.

The patient's talking about compromise.

If you don't think that's possible, you don't think relationships are possible.

Anyone in this room in a position to disprove that?

This guy's just playing to his audience.

Women are by far the biggest consumers of the self-help industry.

He could have a pulmonary embolism.

Clot in his lung increases right ventricular afterload,

drops the blood flow to his brain.

We should do a pulmonary angiogram.

Patient lacks major risk factors for a PE.

Doesn't rule it out, just makes it unlikely.

Maybe we start with a D-dimer? Less invasive than the angiogram.

Good idea.

Fine.

Now, I am hereby searching for a number two.

Which is why I'm eating a lot of bran.

Also, I want a team leader, someone to fill Foreman's old job.

Why? You're right.

We don't need any more structure. It's not like we had a near-fatal stabbing.

Well, if it isn't the old ball and Ukraine.

Who's that?

His wife.

Dominika.

House, you survived prison.

And you Atlantic City.

Where they also had gangs and pruno, but slightly less recidivism.

I start Ukrainian food truck business.

After gambling, win, lose, everybody likes a little knish.

You're here

and I seem to remember throwing out a bunch of

certified letters from Immigration.

I'm assuming there's a connection.

Our green card interview is in four days.

They come to the apartment. They ask questions about marriage,

vacations, family history, what side of the bed each sleep on.

We've never taken a vacation, I don't like your family, and on top.

I hear Kiev is lovely at this time of year.

And your mother, who may or may not be dead for all I know, misses you.

Can it be that genius doctor is afraid to take on a silly government apparatchik?

I would say more not interested than afraid, but why quibble?

Then I go to plan B.

Make you an offer that cannot be refused.

How long have you been doing seminars?

The marriage counseling, just the past couple of years.

Before that I did corporate coaching.

JESSICA: Can't imagine the same advice works for both audiences.

Guess you shifted with the market.

There's nothing cynical about my husband. He and I...

It's okay. I get it.

What guy thinks men should be more like women?

A macho jerk who got a big wake-up call courtesy of three drunks

who beat the crap out of me outside a sports bar in Milwaukee.

I'm guessing that explains the broken wrist in your medical history.

Those morons did me the biggest favor of my life.

I realized I'd sacrificed my health

because I couldn't back down from an argument over football.

Meeting Marlene was the final piece in the puzzle.

She changed my career, my diet.

She gave me a whole new direction in life.

We'll need to know exactly how you changed your diet and when.

Need my apartment key back.

If you're breaking up with me, can we at least talk about it first?

Maybe if you weren't all nag and no shag...

I don't sleep with married men.

I'll get a copy made. You're an ex-con. If you get caught

perjuring yourself to Homeland Security, you'll end up back in jail.

That'd be troubling if there was the slightest chance that we'd get caught.

You barely know each other and you've got about five minutes

to remake yourselves into a convincing married couple.

And why?

Dominika gets her green card. What's in this for you?

This is what men do for the women they pretend to love.

Also she's paying me 30,000 bucks once we pass.

Apparently, knishes sell like hotcakes.

Lab results.

Afraid you're gonna have to finish your nag later.

I said I think it's stupid, right?

Then I think I'm done.

D-dimer came back normal. Rules out pulmonary embolism.

And our patient's a true believer about the follies of masculinity.

He underwent a spiritual overhaul three years ago.

He also went off gluten and red meat.

Unfortunately, that doesn't explain any of his symptoms.

One of those points is not absurd.

What's absurd about a change of heart?

What this guy believes is making him a better person.

He's going against his baser instincts.

Base, meaning foundational,

meaning things we're biologically programmed to do.

Yeah, it's perfectly natural that he stopped doing that stuff.

That's the kind of lapse that could take you out of the running for team leader.

I feel surprisingly okay with that.

It comes with a 50 buck-a-week raise.

I'm in.

You don't want to do that. You might need your dignity later in life.

You didn't.

And she could be on her way to living the dream

unless the rest of you nut up and give her...

This spiritual overhaul.

Did it come after a physical overhaul?

A major injury of some kind?

TAUB: Bar fight.

But there's no way a broken wrist explains... Adams, come with me.

You, too.

You guys get a copy of that made.

Did those dudes bend your ball-sack like Beckham?

Three years ago. The bar fight.

This is Dr. House. He has a theory.

Dr. Adams, would you mind?

I asked you a question. I assume you know the answer.

Yeah. I took a couple of serious knees to the groin.

But what...

What has gotten into me?

Dr. Chase.

Just pick it up.

Do you know what's wrong with me?

Nothing that the Golden Girls couldn't have handled in 23 hilarious minutes.

You had a hot flash.

Those guys kicked your guys hard enough to do lasting damage.

You didn't even look when presented with two reasonably attractive tuchi.

Yeah, I said it.

I was listening to my doctor.

People generally listen with their ears, leaving their eyes free to wander.

I'm guessing that your testosterone level is just below Bieber.

Do a blood test to confirm, then start hormone replacement.

It's no wonder that you think women are so great.

You've basically been one for the last three years.

TAUB: Tests confirmed House was right.

Low testosterone explains all your symptoms.

They should go away with replacement therapy.

We're gonna give you a fairly high dose.

Over time, your personal physician may reduce it a little.

Just need you to turn around.

Will the shots increase his libido?

Are you worried about that?

No.

Have you been unsatisfied? No. No, it's just...

It's usually me that initiates things.

Sometimes I think maybe you aren't that attracted to me.

Are you crazy?

With these injections, you will see an increase in sex drive.

Great. Yeah.

AII done. Okay.

(GASPS) Something's wrong.

I think I peed myself.

Is that from the testosterone?

Couldn't be. I don't think you're going home just yet.

CHASE: It's not a plumbing problem. Means it's probably neurological.

And?

And name Dominika's three brothers.

Volodymyr, Oleksiy and...

(GROANS)

The low testosterone is off the table as a symptom.

Guy got his nuts cracked three years ago. Don't need to look much further than that.

So his hose just happens to spring a leak

at the same time he's in the hospital for a totally unrelated problem?

Fjodor. It's Fedir.

If low testosterone means I can't get sick with something else,

then punch me in the junk right now.

I would if it weren't redundant.

Is Fedir the one who married Mykola?

Mykola is Dominika's uncle.

How is it you can retain every detail of our habits and personal lives

and none of this?

I find it hard to remember things I don't give a crap about.

Ergo, Dominika has one brother, and his name is Al.

Maybe the testicular damage set the stage for something worse.

Multiple sclerosis causes incontinence and progresses faster in men with low T.

Way to stay on point.

It's that kind of leadership that's putting you at the head of the pack.

There is no pack. She's the only applicant.

Well, that's settled, then.

Have your underlings do an LP

and get a cranio-spinal MRI to check for plaques associated with MS.

I will go tell Foreman about your promotion.

Wait. Wait.

CHI: So nobody cares about the job until I apply

and suddenly it's the last limited edition lightsaber at Comicon?

Just seems like it should go to someone with more seniority.

Meaning you.

I said more, not most.

Meaning you or Taub.

House is a dictator. Second-in-command is a meaningless position.

Doesn't look meaningless on my resume.

It doesn't have to be meaningless at all.

The right person could turn it into something,

get the department running smoothly.

I wonder who that right person could be.

House is the head of the department.

It's only fair that a woman should hold the other position of authority.

Yeah, let's go affirmative action on this, because then I'll definitely win.

This is what House wants. Wind us up and watch us fight over an empty title.

Which would make us extra stupid because of what we've just been through.

We should let him choose whoever he wants and move on.

So if these proteins are in my spinal fluid, that means I have MS.

The proteins may indicate MS. There's no one definitive test.

That's why Dr. House ordered an MRI as well.

This is anaesthetic.

JESSICA: It's a scary diagnosis,

but advances are being made.

Several drugs approved just this year.

To be honest, at the moment I'm feeling a little more worried

about the testosterone injections.

It's making me feel different.

Kind of amped.

I went through this big life change, and it felt really meaningful,

but what if it was all just chemistry?

Loss of testosterone could have been a factor.

But think of it as a catalyst.

It got you to re-evaluate. Now you know what's important.

You can choose to hold on to that.

Right?

Certainly worth trying.

Deep breath, stay very still.

Just tell House to drop the whole team leader thing.

That's the only way it'll go away.

I don't think it's such a bad idea.

A little more structure in your department couldn't hurt.

Yeah, House is doing this because of his great love of structure,

not because he wants us to turn on each other.

So, don't do that.

It makes sense to have someone in there with a little more accountability.

As long as it's not Adams.

She sees the whole thing as an opportunity to remake the department in her image.

Or Park, for obvious reasons.

And Taub's got the kids. He's pretty busy.

Are you seriously angling for a job that you mocked as fake

the whole time I had it? I don't want the job.

You just don't want anyone else to have it.

This'll be great.

Your grandmother is kind of sexy.

This is Taras Shevchenko, the greatest Ukrainian poet.

Is he the guy behind There Once Was a Man From Kremenchuk?

Help me move coffee table.

Well, then, where will we have coffee?

And by coffee, I mean scotch.

Coffee and booze are artificial high. For me, high is in exercise.

(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

Dance-aerobics. Fun and good for the butt.

(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

Amy Grant?

I know, but there's a hot girl jumping up and down in my living room, so...

(MUSIC STOPS)

Aww!

You have a limited amount of time to learn a ton of uninteresting facts.

Welcome to my wheelhouse.

You brought a protractor?

You never know when you might need to make a pie chart.

Looks like someone is currying favor for the team leader position.

Yes.

We'll be using a basic alphabet technique with a mnemonic multiplier.

In high school, they called me the Bookie Monster.

Pop quiz.

Where did you get the candlesticks?

On three. One, two, three.

Morocco. Denver.

Drink up. It's gonna be a long night.

You really think this guy's gonna Hulk out once the hormones kick in?

Some male lizards do push-ups to attract mates.

When scientists gave them extra testosterone,

they did push-ups until they died.

Same drive you took advantage of

to get Chase to carry a box of files down to your car yesterday.

Periventricular and subcortical white matter are clean.

So you're saying masculinity is ingrained and irrational.

I'm saying it's pointless to try...

By extension, you're also saying femininity is enlightened and rational.

It's the way we should all be. Guys just aren't capable of it.

Brain stem and cord are clean.

JOE: Is it okay if l scratch my nose?

Go ahead.

I guess he doesn't have MS.

JOE: Something's wrong.

Is it your hand? No, it's my eyes.

I'm seeing double.

CHI: Smile. It's your honeymoon.

(CAMERA CLICKS)

So, what causes double vision on top of all the other symptoms?

It's not a brain tumor or we would've seen it on the scans.

Eye exam didn't offer anything conclusive.

Let's do some winter shots.

Wardrobe change.

Thyroid eye disease in conjunction with Graves.

Thyroid level's normal.

CHASE: Check it out.

Simpson traded this in exchange for me helping out on some of my days off.

Quite the display of initiative and leadership.

But you're way too smart to fall for a blatant bribe like that.

Or a blatant flaunting of cleavage like those.

What happened to not letting House get to you?

You're like lemmings marching off the cliff of competitive humiliation.

All I'm doing is my job.

House has indicated that he considers me attractive.

There's nothing wrong with me using my strengths to my advantage.

With an argument like that, maybe you should just drop down to your knees and...

I mean, unless that's not your strength.

Big hug, big man. It's cold out here.

At the risk of derailing this very productive photo shoot

and bickering session,

what about myesthenia gravis?

Extra-ocular muscle weakness leads to double vision,

atonic bladder leads to incontinence.

Could've been triggered when his T got really low.

Ooh, little one. He'd be a good pick.

Smooth.

You let the rest of them compete,

tear each other to pieces, then you swoop in with the save.

Start the patient on IVIG and plasmapheresis.

Can you handle that, please?

I need a minute. HOUSE: Make it quick.

We're due in Memphis.

You think you want this, but it's a bad idea.

I was gonna go Dollywood, but I'm not sure I can pull off that wig.

Everybody was playing nice, and in your world, nice doesn't solve cases.

But after what happened, a little bonding is a good thing.

We still have ideas, we still argue.

Maybe it could work better if we appreciate each other.

That's impressive. You said that whole thing without once moving your lips.

The ones you're not moving.

I get it. I won't play along with your stupid games,

so I'm no longer a man. Clever.

Actually, you won't play along with my stupid games

because you're no longer a man.

Still clever, though. Studies have shown that raising kids

lowers testosterone levels in men.

The more involved you are, the lower it gets.

Right, having kids has neutered me.

Or maybe it's helped me finally grow up.

How are you feeling?

As long as I keep my eyes closed, pretty good.

Really good, actually. I've got energy,

I feel confident, clear.

Testosterone does tend to perk you up.

Hey, hon, I brought you a burger. Really?

You're in the hospital. Eat whatever you want.

You are the best wife ever.

I'm not just saying that because of how great your ass looks in those jeans.

I'm sorry, that was a little...

No, it's okay.

A girl likes to know she's appreciated. Come here.

So.. I think we should talk to Leading Lights about seminars and DVDs.

You sure? You were worried about the commitment.

Yeah, there's no point being in business with them halfway.

You okay with that?

It's good to finally have a decision.

Okay.

Fedir is the brother she worries about the most,

ever since Luba passed.

Sorry, this was the closest we could find to the cold, soulless offices

of a government bureaucracy.

If you're not using your office, I will.

Does Dominika still communicate with her high school friends?

Vasyly, yes, Oksana, no. Not since she kissed Pavlo.

'Cause that bitch knew that Dominika liked him.

Wrong. Oksana is a slut, dead to me.

The right answer is the wrong answer.

No husband would pay that much attention to his wife's friend dramas.

Haven't you been divorced three times?

In between those divorces, I was married,

non-fraudulently,

for 12 years total,

which is 12 years longer than anyone in this room.

(SIGHS)

Move.

So are you going for this team leader thing?

Probably.

You deserve it. You have way more experience than me.

You're giving up?

I wish. I still have a lot of med school debt.

And my parents need help with their mortgage.

So, I could kind of use the money.

As of an hour ago, I'm just seeing one of everything.

Looks like you guys were right about... We'll be right back.

"I could use the money"?

You want to game me, you've gotta do better than that.

Chase... You want to be a leader,

you have to know how to manipulate. You can't just spill...

I think the whites of his eyes were yellow.

Everything okay?

Jaundice.

There's something wrong with your liver.

Liver function tests confirm his enzymes are totally out of whack.

So much for myasthenia gravis.

Can we hurry this up? I have a government to defraud at noon.

If you need to leave, you should.

I'm fairly confident our patient's got sarcoidosis.

Wow, you said that with so much authority.

Did anyone else get chills?

Just until I realized our patient has

no sign of parenchymal lung abnormalities,

which makes sarcoidosis a long shot.

And bookkeeping isn't gonna get you any farther than the boobs.

Though in fairness, the boobs were really, really helping.

I still think it's myasthenia gravis.

Did you miss the recap? We treated for that, the liver tanked.

But his vision got better.

The liver problems could be a sign of celiac.

He's been back on gluten since he's been in the hospital.

Yesterday he had a burger.

That would've kicked his celiac into gear, causing the liver problems.

So your theory is that he has two unrelated diseases.

And he's already got low testosterone.

I seem to remember something about House hating coincidences.

It's true.

I think it's Lyme disease. One single disease named Lyme.

Without a rash?

10% of cases present without a rash.

Lyme disease it is. Start the patient on antibiotics.

I have to get home before my fake wife gets real annoyed.

Something bothering you?

I asked the nurse for an extra pillow. That was half an hour ago.

Sorry, things can get pretty hectic.

It's a pillow. I mean, how hard can a pillow...

Listen to me, I'm being a jerk.

Testosterone can give you a shorter temper even when you're not sick.

You noticed and adjusted. That's a good thing.

MARLENE: Hey.

Just got a call from our lawyer.

You changed our counter to Leading Lights?

You deserve proper billing and a salary bump in the second term.

We talked about this. We decided it wasn't worth potentially blowing the deal.

It'll be fine.

I've got to get some work done.

These are such pretty flowers you buy for me.

Every Friday from Japanese florist,

on corner of Edison and Conway. There's just one more thing.

With this ring,

I thee wedded.

You left it here when you skipped town with your boyfriend.

You kept the rings?

Actually, I tried to trade them to a hooker for unspecified favors.

But it turns out she doesn't accept zinc.

Like modern fairy tale.

(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

Dr. and Mrs. Gregory House? Yeah.

Nate Weinmann, U.S. Immigration.

Welcome to our home.

Give him time.

When I was 14, there was a girl l wanted to impress.

So I jumped off the roof of her house. Broke my ankle.

Joe's basically going through puberty.

It'll take him a while to adjust.

I tracked down a video from one of Joe's business coaching seminars

from before I knew him.

JOE: (ON COMPUTER) I'm hearing a lot about the value of compromise.

But we don't live on Sesame Street. We live in the real worId,

the business world.

If you're not a winner, you're a loser.

If you aren't comfortable with that,

go open a pottery studio.

I never would have gone out with the guy in this video.

Do you remember the last time she visited Vasyl?

Uh... Let me see. That would be August?

No, no, July.

I remember. It was right after our half anniversary

and I forgot to put a gift in her suitcase.

And I never heard the end of that one.

House specialty.

I made up this pun.

(LAUGHS)

Thank you.

Honey, why do you do this to me? You know I'm watching my weight.

Then maybe you stop eating cheese in front of open fridge in middle of the night.

(LAUGHS)

WEINMANN: This is delicious. Thank you.

So, everything looks good in here.

I'm just gonna step out and get a corroborating interview

from one of the neighbors. Neighbors?

It's middle of the day, I think everybody is at work.

Yeah, then they're at work. I just got a form to check off,

and you will be on your way to permanent status.

(DOOR OPENS)

WEINMANN: Excuse me, sir. Do you have a minute?

(IN BRITISH ACCENT) How can I help you?

Do you know Dr. and Mrs. House?

Of course. They've been my neighbors about two years now.

Lovely couple.

I see them almost every night.

They seem always to be together.

Great. Thanks for your help.

Cheerio.

Hey, what are you doing? That's my door.

Handing out menus for a new Chinese place.

You're that guy that plays noisy video games with House on Saturday nights.

There's a simple explanation.

Be at my office tomorrow at 10:00.

The patient's shown zero improvement.

Because he's only been on the antibiotics overnight.

Or because he doesn't have Lyme disease.

Where are you? HOUSE: (ON PHONE) Just chilling

at U.S. Citizenship and lmmigration,

waiting on my fraud interview with my wife and my attorney.

No big. House.

Hang up.

I still think it's myasthenia gravis plus celiac.

His change in diet has to be significant.

We just need to do an intestinal biopsy to confirm.

With his low platelet count, a biopsy puts him at risk for an abdominal bleed,

which puts him at risk of death.

(HOUSE HANGS UP)

(HANGS UP)

Either you're done or you're walking in there without a lawyer.

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

I know, it sounds like a phone,

but it's a timer. To remind me to pee before our meeting.

Hello, old chap.

You need to save yourself.

I was up last night, trying to find another angle, but I can't.

Tell Immigration you were in love with Dominika,

but your marriage fell apart. And that's why you haven't been living together.

She'll be deported. Permanently.

House, I know you like Dominika, you have fun with her, but you got caught.

There's no getting out of this.

The best you can hope for is that you don't go back to jail.

Tell my team to skip the biopsy and give the antibiotics more time.

They're ready for us.

I drew a line in the sand and I won. We should be celebrating.

Do you need a few minutes? I'd rather keep getting better.

That's just it.

You won. You made a demand that could have blown up the deal

and you never even asked me. The deal didn't blow up, they caved.

Joe, you say it in your seminars. Process matters just as much as results.

Are you seriously busting my chops because I made one little move without you?

How about stepping aside

and letting me be the man in this relationship for a change?

I really can't talk to you right now.

I don't know why I said that.

Just, I got so angry.

Hopefully after this dose,

you'll start to feel better and we can get you home.

But I'd like to do one more test.

The testimony of one angry, near-sighted neighbor

shouldn't outweigh all other evidence. Photos, utility bills...

Yes. Because your clients would never fake anything.

We acknowledge the neighbor thing was a mistake, but that doesn't mean

that all the other documentation should just be thrown out.

Look, look, I get that it's your job to act like there's a case here, but shut up.

USCIS will be denying Ms. Patrova's green card application.

You'll be referred to lmmigration Court for deportation proceedings.

And we're gonna inform your parole officer about evidence of fraud.

So, unless anybody has anything else to add...

Please, I am begging, do not send him back to jail.

Maybe we have not lived together all these months...

Mrs. House, I have to advise you not to continue.

This man and I, did we marry for love?

No. But this past week, we have a lot of fun,

working really hard to fool U.S. government. Right?

Don't answer that. Way ahead of you.

It was fake,

but it felt real.

Maybe because it become real.

This man.

My husband.

I want to stay with him, but if I cannot, please send me away and let him be free.

I love him.

I didn't buy a word you said.

But a judge might.

I'm gonna let you stay.

But for the next six months, I'm gonna hold on to this file.

And our investigators are gonna show up unannounced at 6:00 a.m., 11:00 at night,

and they better find the two of you sitting on the couch,

watching NCIS, eating ice cream from the same spoon.

Or both of you will be sent to places far less pleasant than New Jersey.

What you just said in there...

Don't worry. I am much too smart to be falling in love with you.

I will be needing extra shelf in bathroom.

(DOOR OPENS)

Abdominal biopsy showed flattened villi. Looks like you were right about celiac.

You do remember Chase got stabbed doing a test House didn't order.

Good comparison, since both patients were tweaked on steroids.

You only did this to score points over Chase and Park.

We were right. I proved it and the patient didn't bleed out.

Why are you being a jerk about this?

Let's go see if House is back.

(PAGERS BEEPING)

Patient's having trouble breathing.

So much for celiac.

His breathing is stabilized,

but his lung function is at 60% and his liver is tanking.

And he has major symptoms of celiac without actually having celiac.

Could be Whipple's.

Doesn't explain the incontinence.

Intestinal lymphoma?

Doesn't explain the double vision.

Any time you want to jump in.

Is dance-aerobics even a thing?

I hear it's good for the butt.

JESSICA: What about a parasitic infection?

Strongyloides is known to damage the small intestine...

In this country he's about as likely to get that as win Powerball.

Someone does win Powerball. Every week.

The patient went to Puerto Rico a few months ago.

One of the few places in the U.S. you can pick up strongyloides.

Treatment is ivermectin.

We give that to someone with liver problems, he could have seizures, or worse.

Do it.

I'm hearing a lot about the value of compromise.

But we don't live on Sesame Street. We live in the real...

I was wondering if maybe we overlooked a symptom, or something.

Makes perfect sense if you're the patient, and pantywaist is the symptom.

Adams and I both thought the patient could have celiac,

but only she was willing to go out on a limb and run the test. I gave up.

Now you're in here watching a motivational speech.

Even your attempt to get your balls back lacks balls.

JOE: ...world, the business world.

If you're not a winner, you're a loser.

His voice, it's lower than it is now.

If only there was a good reason for a professional speaker to be hoarse.

...go open a pottery studio.

Good point.

It's not a good point. It's a decent point.

You're doing it again.

You got any other videos, other seminars? A couple.

When you see a weakness, that's a time for strength.

A lot of people say, ''l feel bad about it. '' The other guy made a mistake...

You bailed too early.

Now I get all the credit.

That kind of thinking is what makes you...

Chronic hoarseness is a symptom of a condition called silent thyroiditis.

But I'm not hoarse.

Exactly. But you were, three years ago.

Silent thyroiditis comes and goes.

And it, in turn, is a symptom

of Polyglandular Autoimmune syndrome, type 3.

Which makes this is a really bad idea.

PAS-3 attacks the body's own endocrine system,

moving from gland to gland.

It started in the thyroid, then,

probably helped along by your low testosterone,

moved on to the gut. TAUB: Where it caused celiac disease,

or it would've, if you weren't on a gluten-free diet.

I was right.

This is incredibly relevant.

HOUSE: Eventually PAS-3 attacked your thymus gland.

You developed myasthenia gravis, which landed you in here.

Then you started eating gluten, which only made things worse.

So, am I gonna be okay?

We'll treat the various conditions with high-dose steroids.

Assuming they respond, you'll be fine.

And the testosterone?

Kicked in the nuts is kicked in the nuts.

HOUSE: Over the past week, you have all had good moments and bad.

No one candidate has prevailed.

So now we embark upon a contest of medical strength,

stamina and skill.

Can we just get this over with?

If the competitor representing Australia would like to take a point deduction,

he should by all means continue yapping.

Your glee is on the verge of making this not worth it for any of us.

Can I at least light the torch?

Hurry.

I declare open the games of the number one number two competition.

Je déclare ouvert...

All right. Ready, set, suture!

T-time.

What happens if I don't take it?

Or at least, go to a much lower dose.

Are you having side effects?

No, I feel great.

Faster.. clearer.

More like myself.

But my marriage and my career,

they're both built on me being somebody else.

Low testosterone can cause depression and problems sleeping.

It's also been linked to conditions such as osteoporosis and diabetes.

It will make your life harder and more dangerous,

on top of all the meds you'll be taking.

I'll take that risk.

I'm a better man without it.

Well, this certainly has brought more structure to the department.

Really, I'm just excited for the wheelchair race.

You were smart not to enter.

Never in.. never lose.

And since you no longer have stones...

I'll split the 50 a week with you.

Deal.

(LOUD DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

Honey, I'm home!