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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,083 --> 00:00:04,296 So Dan's sex doll's been living with me. Um... 2 00:00:04,379 --> 00:00:06,465 After he threw her away last week, I-I went and I got her 3 00:00:06,548 --> 00:00:09,051 and I took her home, so she's living with me. 4 00:00:09,134 --> 00:00:11,678 And, um, she talks to me. 5 00:00:11,762 --> 00:00:13,305 - You hear the voice in your head 6 00:00:13,388 --> 00:00:15,390 when you're looking at the doll or is the doll...? 7 00:00:15,474 --> 00:00:17,976 - The sound comes from her, um, head. 8 00:00:18,060 --> 00:00:19,394 From her face. You know. 9 00:00:19,478 --> 00:00:21,396 Like, she can move her face. 10 00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:22,648 Like, she... opens her mouth and stuff 11 00:00:22,731 --> 00:00:23,941 and she can, like, move her eyes 12 00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:26,193 and make expressions and stuff. 13 00:00:26,276 --> 00:00:27,694 But she can't move her, uh, head. 14 00:00:27,778 --> 00:00:30,030 Like the-the head part of her head. You know. 15 00:00:30,113 --> 00:00:31,281 - The skull? - The skull. 16 00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:32,824 The-- Well, the cranium or whatever. 17 00:00:32,908 --> 00:00:34,409 It's, like, kind of frustrating, 18 00:00:34,493 --> 00:00:35,953 'cause I have to do everything for her. 19 00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:38,121 - What kind of stuff do you have to do for her? 20 00:00:38,205 --> 00:00:39,957 - Um, she made me buy her one of those T-shirts 21 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,625 that says "The Future is Female." 22 00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:43,794 - [laughs softly] - And she wants a new vagina. 23 00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:47,005 She wants, like, a Cherry Blossom 7 series? 24 00:00:47,089 --> 00:00:48,423 You know these... 25 00:00:48,507 --> 00:00:50,133 Well, they're expensive, 26 00:00:50,217 --> 00:00:52,302 and I told her I couldn't afford it, and she was like, 27 00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:53,512 "Well, you're a fucking dick." 28 00:00:53,595 --> 00:00:54,888 [laughs]: So... 29 00:00:54,972 --> 00:00:58,141 - You know, we see this a lot in children. 30 00:00:58,225 --> 00:00:59,768 The invention of an imaginary friend? 31 00:00:59,852 --> 00:01:01,812 It's a very common coping mechanism. 32 00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:04,314 - Right. Like Drop Dead Fred. - I haven't seen that one. 33 00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:06,149 - Well, eh, it's just okay. I mean... 34 00:01:06,233 --> 00:01:07,776 I kind of kept hoping that they would hook up. 35 00:01:07,860 --> 00:01:10,279 - Anyway, imaginary friends usually pop up 36 00:01:10,362 --> 00:01:13,156 during a time of transition, a time of growth. 37 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:15,409 - Oh, no. They kissed, I think. 38 00:01:15,492 --> 00:01:17,202 I can't remember. - It's less common in adults, 39 00:01:17,286 --> 00:01:19,538 sure, but I think this... 40 00:01:19,621 --> 00:01:21,665 Does she have a name? 41 00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:23,375 - Barbara. 42 00:01:23,458 --> 00:01:26,378 - I think this Barbara 43 00:01:26,461 --> 00:01:31,592 represents a part of you that really wants to help heal you. 44 00:01:31,675 --> 00:01:33,468 - Really? - Yes. 45 00:01:33,552 --> 00:01:36,471 So, as long as she's not suggesting 46 00:01:36,555 --> 00:01:38,932 you cause physical harm to yourself or others, 47 00:01:39,016 --> 00:01:42,352 I say embrace her. 48 00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:44,438 BARBARA: I've been doing some thinking. 49 00:01:44,521 --> 00:01:46,857 We should kill Dan. - What? 50 00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:49,860 [dramatic organ music plays] 51 00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:50,903 We're not, we're not talking about this. 52 00:01:50,986 --> 00:01:52,154 We're not doing that. - Cody. 53 00:01:52,237 --> 00:01:54,114 Dan stole the best years of my life, 54 00:01:54,198 --> 00:01:57,701 and he literally threw me out like I was fucking garbage. 55 00:01:57,784 --> 00:02:00,162 He ravaged my vagina like all men do. 56 00:02:00,245 --> 00:02:02,372 - Okay, we're not killing Dan. - Why? 57 00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:04,708 - And I'm sorry that he, like, ravaged your pussy... 58 00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:07,628 - Thank you. - ...but here's the thing, babe. 59 00:02:07,711 --> 00:02:09,254 You can't say stuff like that. 60 00:02:09,338 --> 00:02:10,547 - Why not? - 'Cause my therapist told me 61 00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:12,299 that if you did, I had to get rid of you. 62 00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:14,384 - Well, you can tell your therapist to go fucking shove 63 00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:16,470 up a-- I love her. 64 00:02:16,553 --> 00:02:19,556 Because I was joking. 65 00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,308 - I know you're just saying that so that I won't get rid of you. 66 00:02:21,391 --> 00:02:22,893 You're me. I know. 67 00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:25,103 And, like... this week has been fun or whatever, 68 00:02:25,187 --> 00:02:28,065 but, like, I mean, you're really mean to me all the time, 69 00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:30,817 and we haven't actually done any work on the tooth fairy pilot. 70 00:02:30,901 --> 00:02:32,694 - Cody, I have to be totally honest with you. 71 00:02:32,778 --> 00:02:37,032 [whispers]: Like... your pilot's a piece of shit. 72 00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:38,825 - What are you-- what are you talking about? 73 00:02:38,909 --> 00:02:40,786 In the dumpster the other night, you were, like, excited. 74 00:02:40,869 --> 00:02:42,204 You were pitching me all this stuff. 75 00:02:42,287 --> 00:02:43,413 - We put lipstick on a pig. 76 00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:44,831 Like, it's really bad, honey. 77 00:02:44,915 --> 00:02:47,167 If it was on TV, I'd literally rather kill myself. 78 00:02:47,251 --> 00:02:48,794 - Okay, well, I have to write a pilot. 79 00:02:48,877 --> 00:02:50,170 I have to write something. 80 00:02:50,254 --> 00:02:51,630 My agent told me that it... [chuckles] 81 00:02:51,713 --> 00:02:53,882 doesn't have to be anything. - [gasps] Us. 82 00:02:53,966 --> 00:02:56,134 - What-- Us what? - The pilot's us. 83 00:02:56,218 --> 00:02:58,470 A quirky, fun-loving sex doll and her chunky human friend 84 00:02:58,554 --> 00:02:59,888 taking on the world together. 85 00:02:59,972 --> 00:03:01,849 I mean, it's, like, aspirational. 86 00:03:01,932 --> 00:03:03,767 - Okay, I just want to go back, 'cause when you say chunky, 87 00:03:03,851 --> 00:03:05,477 you say it as though, like, it's obvious. 88 00:03:05,561 --> 00:03:06,770 - Dude. It's, like, female empowerment. 89 00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:07,938 I mean, it's literally got everything. 90 00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:09,565 It could be, like, a feminist masterpiece 91 00:03:09,648 --> 00:03:13,110 or some shit. - Like, but how's it feminist? 92 00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:14,736 - What do you mean? All of it. 93 00:03:14,820 --> 00:03:16,321 Just, it's there. You know? 94 00:03:16,405 --> 00:03:18,365 - I don't know, it's kind of like a broad concept 95 00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:19,741 to, like, try and say something super important. 96 00:03:19,825 --> 00:03:21,201 - Oh, my God, you are being so stupid. 97 00:03:21,285 --> 00:03:23,620 Trust me, it's such a good idea, I swear. [phone vibrates] 98 00:03:23,704 --> 00:03:25,581 - Okay. Oh, shit, I got to go. 99 00:03:25,664 --> 00:03:26,790 - What? 100 00:03:26,874 --> 00:03:28,000 Is it Dan? - No. 101 00:03:28,083 --> 00:03:29,585 - Ugh, you're leaving me for Dan's? 102 00:03:29,668 --> 00:03:31,044 Why? We just started riffing. 103 00:03:31,128 --> 00:03:33,088 Cody. Cody, if you leave right now, 104 00:03:33,172 --> 00:03:34,798 I am not helping you with your pilot. 105 00:03:34,882 --> 00:03:37,676 And it's basically already written in my head. Ha, ha, ha! 106 00:03:37,759 --> 00:03:40,888 I'm laughing at a joke on page nine right now! [chuckles] 107 00:03:40,971 --> 00:03:42,931 [dramatic music playing over TV] 108 00:03:45,976 --> 00:03:48,353 WOMAN [on TV]: He just told me, "Stay away. 109 00:03:48,437 --> 00:03:50,814 I've smelled this smell before." 110 00:03:50,898 --> 00:03:52,608 I said, "What are you talking about?" 111 00:03:52,691 --> 00:03:57,196 And he goes, "It smells like somebody's dead." 112 00:03:57,279 --> 00:03:59,364 - What's up? - Oh, uh, nothing, 113 00:03:59,448 --> 00:04:00,908 I thought I-- never mind. 114 00:04:00,991 --> 00:04:02,284 - Hmm? - Are you okay? 115 00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:03,702 I'm great. 116 00:04:03,785 --> 00:04:06,121 Just collecting alloys. - Yeah. 117 00:04:06,205 --> 00:04:07,206 - You okay? 118 00:04:07,289 --> 00:04:09,208 - Yeah. I'm okay. 119 00:04:09,291 --> 00:04:11,001 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 120 00:04:15,547 --> 00:04:18,091 Um... 121 00:04:18,175 --> 00:04:21,553 Okay, so... 122 00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:25,140 Wh... 123 00:04:25,224 --> 00:04:27,434 What if... 124 00:04:27,518 --> 00:04:31,104 after you threw out 125 00:04:31,188 --> 00:04:35,108 the sex doll, um... 126 00:04:35,192 --> 00:04:37,945 what if I went into the garbage and I took her out 127 00:04:38,028 --> 00:04:40,906 and I took her home with me 128 00:04:40,989 --> 00:04:46,119 and we became roommates and... 129 00:04:46,203 --> 00:04:49,456 she was, like, talking to me? 130 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:54,211 - That's fucking brilliant! 131 00:04:56,421 --> 00:04:57,548 - Um... 132 00:04:57,631 --> 00:05:00,759 - That's your new pilot? 133 00:05:00,843 --> 00:05:02,761 Oh, my God, and you were scared 134 00:05:02,845 --> 00:05:04,388 I'd be mad because it's about us? 135 00:05:04,471 --> 00:05:06,598 - I guess I was, yeah. 136 00:05:06,682 --> 00:05:10,561 - Baby, this is so much fucking better than that tooth fairy thing. 137 00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:14,314 This is insane. It's, like, a modern feminist Mister Ed. 138 00:05:14,398 --> 00:05:17,526 - Totally. Yeah. 139 00:05:20,445 --> 00:05:22,990 Barbara, I missed you while I was gone 140 00:05:23,073 --> 00:05:26,535 and I was thinking about that idea that we... 141 00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:30,080 No, I haven't talked to Dan about it. 142 00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:32,499 [laughs]: Like, why would I even bring it up to him? 143 00:05:32,583 --> 00:05:34,209 It's... 144 00:05:34,293 --> 00:05:36,753 Are we, like, in a fight? Come on. Like, we're adults. 145 00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:38,672 We're not gonna... 146 00:05:40,716 --> 00:05:43,302 Barbara, that outfit is dope! 147 00:05:43,385 --> 00:05:44,511 [quietly]: Fuck. 148 00:05:44,595 --> 00:05:46,305 [exhales] 149 00:05:46,388 --> 00:05:48,807 ["If You Were Here" by Thompson Twins plays] 150 00:05:52,311 --> 00:05:55,230 ♪ 151 00:05:55,314 --> 00:05:57,316 [tires screeching] 152 00:06:00,611 --> 00:06:06,366 Barbara... you're right. 153 00:06:06,450 --> 00:06:10,204 I didn't trust you because I didn't trust myself. 154 00:06:10,287 --> 00:06:11,872 ♪ If you were here ♪ 155 00:06:11,955 --> 00:06:14,499 ♪ I could deceive you ♪ 156 00:06:14,583 --> 00:06:18,003 But now that you're in my life... 157 00:06:18,086 --> 00:06:20,672 ♪ And if you were here ♪ 158 00:06:20,756 --> 00:06:22,674 ♪ You would believe... ♪ 159 00:06:22,758 --> 00:06:26,512 ...something's been changing inside me. 160 00:06:26,595 --> 00:06:28,472 ♪ But would you suspect ♪ 161 00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:30,766 ♪ My emotion... ♪ 162 00:06:30,849 --> 00:06:33,894 I've been thinking about what it means to be a woman in this world, 163 00:06:33,977 --> 00:06:36,396 and I don't want to do it like that anymore. 164 00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:40,317 ♪ A part of this anymore... ♪ 165 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:43,362 The time has come for us to lift each other up. 166 00:06:43,445 --> 00:06:46,031 And heal each other. 167 00:06:50,619 --> 00:06:54,248 It's time for a new beginning. 168 00:07:00,671 --> 00:07:02,673 ♪ If you were here ♪ 169 00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:06,969 ♪ I could deceive you ♪ 170 00:07:08,846 --> 00:07:10,681 ♪ And if you were here... ♪ 12620

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