Original subtitles

Hello, I am Julius Caesar, leader of Rome.

Thanks to my strategic prowess, I've won wars.

I'm so full of myself.

And one day, Julius Caesar met...

Yes, it's me, Diana, I'm one cool chick.

I'm so pretty, smart and perfect.

Caesar fell in love with Diana cos she's awesome, obviously.

She fell in love with him cos... who knows?

And they ended up...

You get it...

The thing grown-ups do when they...

So, Diana got pregnant and they had a kid. And he got sick.

Caesar got the disease. And he became sterile.

That'll teach him. Caesar resented the kid

and wasn't very nice to him. But the kid grew up, and all was well.

He had a pretty sweet life and was very happy.

- Is that you? - Well, yeah.

He's muscly and you're not.

I'm not muscly?

You should take a closer look, little guy, cos it's kinda obvious.

- So, why do you live here? - Cos it's nice.

There are no neighbours, it's comfy.

I love it.

- Not saying hi to your dad? - I can't.

I'm off to a jam-pot party.

So, I'm gonna stay behind and get ready and...

The return of Julius Caesar.

And he has a gift for Rome.

On your knees.

On your knees!

No.

On your knees.

I,

Julius Caesar,

declare the official capture of Vercingetorix,

the black bull,

the man who tried to unite the Gauls against me.

And he got royally screwed over.

The Gauls are more divided than ever

and my legionaries will be done with them in a few days.

- We're untouchable! - Excuse me, Caesar, a question.

Oh, Gaius, you know I don't like it when people cut me off.

Technically, we're not untouchable, we have to guard our borders.

And, technically, I'll have to make you shut up.

It's a shame, you're a good comrade.

No, but...

- To the dungeon. - I wasn't criticising...

I was trying to help. Caesar!

I didn't say anything. Caesar?

OK, now, hold on, guys.

I'm not exactly asking for much, am I?

Just do as I say

and don't interrupt me. It's really not that hard.

But...

No, I...

I thought you were done talking.

I might have added a little something at the end.

It's an allergy, it's not contagious.

- It's the pollen. - OK, off you go. Bye.

It happens every year...

We'll talk this evening.

Hello. I'm Brutus.

That's crap.

Hi, pleased to meet you.

What about you? What do you do?

That's fucking lame.

- Good evening. - Good evening.

Is this the jam-pot party?

- Huh? - Rufus invited me to a jam-pot party.

Plot. A plan-a-plot party.

No, I'm pretty sure he said "jam pot".

- Not possible. - I know what I heard.

What else did he say?

That it was a secret.

That it was forbidden.

That it was dangerous.

And to bring a spoon.

- He didn't say that. - No, he didn't.

Gather round, thank you.

To start, Rufus and myself

would like to thank you for coming.

We're growing in numbers and think it's time to act.

Quickly.

This can't go on, my friends.

Friends?

- Did he say friends? Are we all friends? - The future is dark.

He's no longer a guide, he's a tyrant.

Yes, yes, yes.

No one feels safe. True or false?

True, true.

Yes, that's true.

So, are we going to continue like this? No.

No.

- I don't feel like it. - Of course, you'll say:

"He has the world's largest army", but there is one spot

- where he's vulnerable. - His carotid.

We've all got a weak spot there. So...

- He must have it too. - No.

- No? - No, it's the Senate.

We're not allowed to enter the Senate with weapons, so...

he's vulnerable in the Senate.

More than his carotid?

- Rufus? - Yes?

Can we talk?

This is ridiculous. Where did you find him?

It's Brutus, Caesar's son.

You've lost it.

I said that Brutus was Caesar's son

not that Caesar was Brutus's father.

Who is Caesar to you?

He's my dad.

But when Caesar calls you, does he...

call you his son?

No, he calls me "that one".

Where's that one? What does that one want?

That's why you want him dead.

Huh? Not at all.

Hold on, why are you here, then?

Wait, you guys want to kill Caesar?

It's a plan-a-plot party.

You said jam pot.

No, I never said jam pot.

I remember it well, I have great hearing.

I said jam-a-plot!

Well, you should enunciate...

Besides, who does jam-pot parties?

People do fondue parties, pancake parties, why not jam-pot ones?

Look, I want to be friends with you

because I really liked the vibes in there.

Very feng shui and unifying. But I don't want to kill Caesar.

You've left us with no choice.

- We've made a decision. - This is ridiculous.

He knows too much. Let's just kill him.

Think about it, Cassius, think of the symbolism.

- I don't care about that. - No, you do care.

You want the people to support us.

And if his own son strikes first, it'll have more of an impact.

We should be the first to do it.

The first to do it will be killed.

Symbolism is indeed important.

He has no family, no friends, no one will miss him.

He's the ideal martyr.

All those in favour?

Do you understand? We can't run the risk of you warning him.

We'll release you once we've killed Caesar.

He's the enemy, not you.

Wasn't he supposed to kill him with us?

Cassius, do you remember

the first time we saw Caesar?

When he came to the Senate?

He was so brave!

He looked the Senate straight in the eye and said,

"Every Roman is part of Rome.

When you kill a Roman, you hurt Rome."

He's really changed, he's become a monster.

We're doing this for the people.

That's why you'll have to help us, Brutus.

Don't be angry at them.

They're just frustrated.

They've been here for a long time. They like to heckle the newbies.

It's so violent out there.

So, we end up being like that in here.

The worst thing is not seeing your family.

Don't you miss yours?

I don't have a family.

We all have one, that's the reason we're here.

To defend them.

So those barbarians don't invade us.

I hadn't read that part.

Oh, poor thing.

And you have to propose soon.

- That's what's written here too. - Really? When?

Um, within the next month.

Within the next week!

Four days?

It's mandatory.

She doesn't really have a choice. She'll accept, but...

she has to.

Hold on.

I missed a section.

"When the proposal has been made,

the bride has the right to accept or decline."

Did Alorix tell you that?

So, there you go.

So, I wanted to...

I, Brutus,

own a bit of land on the outskirts of Rome.

- Why are you talking about Rome? - That's where I live.

- Wait, are you not staying here? - Well, no.

- But you can't go back. - Why?

Because I don't want...

I thought you wanted to stay to fight your dad together.

- I'm not a Gaul. - You could be if we got married.

- We could... - No, sorry, I can't.

No, I have to go back to Rome.

You were sleeping rough, Brutus.

- What's holding you back? - Rome's better than Gaul.

Everything's better there. You saw that.

But I was a slave.

I'd rather be a slave in Rome than free here.

I was tossed from master to master, from house to house.

- If you hadn't been heroic back there... - I wasn't heroic.

I don't even know how to fight.

I know that! I know you didn't fight.

You gave us hope.

I wish I'd never seen this side of you. You're right, go back to Rome.

Now we know that he has allies in the Senate.

I'll wait for you here.

Let's wipe them out.

Hold on.

Caesar doesn't want anyone dead.

Are you sure? Doesn't he want them dead?

No, he needs slaves.

An army is approaching.

Hold on.

Hold on. We can talk about this!

Onward!

Take Brutus.

There you go.

We'll start the ceremony, but stick to tradition.

Long live the couple!

Long live the couple!

Hold on, you've come in too early.

Not just yet!

And now the doves...

No, you ruin everything!

Freedom to the doves!

What's up?

Let's go open the last cage.

So, this is it?

- You finally decided to kill me? - Why would I do that?

You're just a messenger. You're going to go see my dad.

You have no father, you have no family.

You have no homeland, you have no honour.

Caesar will make your life a misery until his last breath.

Subtitles: ECLAIR