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1
00:00:02,270 --> 00:00:05,490
Lord, Wayne, your barbecue
smells like sheer heaven.
2
00:00:05,540 --> 00:00:07,240
[chuckling]
Yeah, it does.
3
00:00:07,240 --> 00:00:08,409
Uh-uh, get out of here, bird.
4
00:00:08,410 --> 00:00:10,190
Can somebody pass the lettuce?
5
00:00:10,240 --> 00:00:12,150
You know, the one food
on this table
6
00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:15,160
that never had thoughts,
or feelings, or a face?
7
00:00:15,200 --> 00:00:17,990
Violet, hush.
Wayne's barbecue is magical.
8
00:00:18,030 --> 00:00:20,860
Oh, she's just going through
her vegetarian phase.
9
00:00:20,900 --> 00:00:24,730
Not a phase. Unless caring
about murder is a phase.
10
00:00:24,770 --> 00:00:26,990
Violet, honey, I watched you
dip a corn dog
11
00:00:27,040 --> 00:00:29,080
into a can of chili
less than a week ago.
12
00:00:29,130 --> 00:00:31,170
Thanks for bringing up
my rock bottom, Mom.
13
00:00:31,220 --> 00:00:33,170
I'm five days meat sober.
14
00:00:33,220 --> 00:00:35,000
- Get out of here, bird!
- [warbling]
15
00:00:35,050 --> 00:00:37,090
Oh, and by the way,
I got an idea
16
00:00:37,130 --> 00:00:39,010
for the ostriches, y'all.
17
00:00:39,050 --> 00:00:40,659
You've heard of the running
of the bulls?
18
00:00:40,660 --> 00:00:43,230
Well, get ready for the running
of the birds.
19
00:00:43,270 --> 00:00:44,929
Oh, my Lord, y'all.
20
00:00:44,930 --> 00:00:46,750
We all know Wayne's
never gonna make dime one
21
00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:48,279
on any of these schemes.
22
00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:51,240
You just wait. One of Wayne's
ideas is gonna hit.
23
00:00:51,280 --> 00:00:54,200
If Wayne wants to be
an entre-pray-newer...
24
00:00:54,240 --> 00:00:56,330
mmm...
man alive, is this good...
25
00:00:56,370 --> 00:00:58,420
then he needs to find the thing
that he is good at.
26
00:00:58,460 --> 00:01:01,160
Mmm. Mmm!
Y'all, this barbecue is just,
27
00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:03,250
oh, it's melting in my mouth.
28
00:01:03,290 --> 00:01:06,160
And do that thing instead
of all this bird nonsense.
29
00:01:06,210 --> 00:01:08,210
Mmm, mmm-mmm.
30
00:01:08,250 --> 00:01:10,210
Wayne, I know
what you should do.
31
00:01:10,250 --> 00:01:13,210
You should enter the cook-off
at this year's Barbecue Festival!
32
00:01:13,260 --> 00:01:14,869
Nah. I know my barbecue's good.
33
00:01:14,870 --> 00:01:17,609
- Who needs a top-off?
- I do! Hallelujah!
34
00:01:17,610 --> 00:01:19,700
What's the opposite of "hallelujah"?
35
00:01:19,740 --> 00:01:22,010
Here you go.
Got one for you... Whoa!
36
00:01:22,050 --> 00:01:24,010
Almost got me.
37
00:01:24,050 --> 00:01:26,050
[title music]
38
00:01:50,987 --> 00:01:54,270
www.facebook.com/gatonplay
39
00:01:56,170 --> 00:01:58,040
[sighs heavily]
40
00:01:58,090 --> 00:02:00,170
- What's wrong, baby?
- The drawing I submitted
41
00:02:00,220 --> 00:02:02,920
to be the logo for the
Greenpoint Barbecue Festival?
42
00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:06,310
- It won.
- Well, Violet, that's great!
43
00:02:06,350 --> 00:02:08,140
"Go ahead and eat me,
44
00:02:08,180 --> 00:02:11,140
but remember I'm as smart
as a human toddler!"
45
00:02:11,190 --> 00:02:14,319
Gram, look what they did. They
took out the thought bubble.
46
00:02:14,320 --> 00:02:17,579
- BETTY: Thank God.
- They censored me.
47
00:02:17,580 --> 00:02:20,540
How can my art provoke
with a fascist boot on my neck?
48
00:02:20,590 --> 00:02:23,680
Wait.
Rick Ocean and the Sandbars?
49
00:02:23,720 --> 00:02:26,110
Oh, Vi.
Do you know the song
50
00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:28,330
"I Found Her Flip-Flop on the Beach"?
51
00:02:28,380 --> 00:02:30,730
If I say no,
can we go back to my thing?
52
00:02:30,770 --> 00:02:34,340
Rick Ocean and the Sandbars
are the international kings
53
00:02:34,380 --> 00:02:37,860
of Carolina beach music.
With all their hit songs:
54
00:02:37,910 --> 00:02:40,356
"Beach Music,"
"Sand Music Beach,"
55
00:02:40,391 --> 00:02:43,169
"You Bring the Beach, parentheses,
I'll Bring the Music,"
56
00:02:43,170 --> 00:02:44,870
"Life's a Beach
and Then You Swim,
57
00:02:44,910 --> 00:02:46,519
- parentheses, the Music Song."
- [Violet sighs]
58
00:02:46,520 --> 00:02:50,220
And of course,
"B-E-A-C-H, parentheses,
59
00:02:50,270 --> 00:02:52,010
That's How I Spell Music."
60
00:02:52,050 --> 00:02:56,360
You know, I am very close,
intimate friends
61
00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:59,230
- with Rick Ocean.
- And cue the gross story.
62
00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:02,240
He was my first real romance
after Ed died. [romantic music]
63
00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:05,330
I was in a hole so deep,
I thought I'd never get out.
64
00:03:05,370 --> 00:03:07,200
Rick's touch healed me.
65
00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:09,370
For over a decade,
we've been like two ships
66
00:03:09,420 --> 00:03:12,380
that pass in the night.
And circle back around to ram
67
00:03:12,420 --> 00:03:16,160
into each other like
the Titanic and that iceberg.
68
00:03:16,210 --> 00:03:18,210
Violet?
69
00:03:18,250 --> 00:03:21,169
TV ANNOUNCER: Okay, barbecue
fans, it's time to get fired up
70
00:03:21,170 --> 00:03:23,560
for "Dips, Drizzles and Dunks"!
71
00:03:23,610 --> 00:03:28,310
With the am-bro-ssador of
bro-b-cue, Chip Scoville!
72
00:03:30,220 --> 00:03:31,920
[crowd cheering]
73
00:03:34,220 --> 00:03:36,050
[air horn blowing]
74
00:03:38,230 --> 00:03:40,620
I'm feeling the tang.
75
00:03:40,670 --> 00:03:43,630
I'm tasting that
funkalicious cardamom.
76
00:03:43,670 --> 00:03:46,209
Your sauce...
77
00:03:46,530 --> 00:03:50,661
- ...is boss!
- [guitar riff playing]
78
00:03:51,760 --> 00:03:54,070
- He got the bro fingers!
- [air horn blowing]
79
00:03:54,110 --> 00:03:57,160
Chip hands those out, like,
once an episode, maybe.
80
00:03:57,200 --> 00:03:59,030
That must be
some funktastic aioli.
81
00:03:59,080 --> 00:04:01,950
Oh, man.
I love Chip so much.
82
00:04:01,990 --> 00:04:03,730
He is the bad boy of flavor.
83
00:04:03,780 --> 00:04:07,210
Wayne, no offense to Chip,
but he just comments on flavors.
84
00:04:07,260 --> 00:04:09,040
You are a flavor maker.
85
00:04:09,090 --> 00:04:12,260
And-and look what it says right
here: deadline is tomorrow.
86
00:04:12,310 --> 00:04:14,530
It's not too late. We can
sign you up right now.
87
00:04:14,570 --> 00:04:17,310
You know, my barbecue takes
a lot of preparation,
88
00:04:17,350 --> 00:04:19,180
and I-I simply do not have the time.
89
00:04:19,230 --> 00:04:21,050
I saw this documentary about a guy
90
00:04:21,100 --> 00:04:23,190
who tried to run a marathon
without the proper preparation,
91
00:04:23,230 --> 00:04:25,918
and he ran 90 yards,
crapped his pants, and died.
92
00:04:25,919 --> 00:04:27,710
But, Wayne, if you don't do this,
93
00:04:27,711 --> 00:04:30,850
that man will have crapped
and died for nothing.
94
00:04:30,890 --> 00:04:33,370
But, Jenny, if I do enter,
you're gonna have two deaths
95
00:04:33,410 --> 00:04:35,680
and two craps on your hands.
96
00:04:38,460 --> 00:04:40,550
[sighs]
97
00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:43,289
- [heavenly music plays]
- Jenny. How could you be so sad
98
00:04:43,290 --> 00:04:45,640
with your boo making
barbecue this good?
99
00:04:45,690 --> 00:04:48,519
You know, Wayne should enter that
barbecue contest at the festival.
100
00:04:48,520 --> 00:04:50,560
That's what I told him.
But he won't budge.
101
00:04:50,610 --> 00:04:52,480
There's no way he's gonna
enter that contest.
102
00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:55,650
Jenny, do you know the parable
of the footprints in the sand?
103
00:04:55,700 --> 00:04:58,480
Oh, yeah. That Dateline
about that newlywed couple
104
00:04:58,530 --> 00:05:00,480
who were supposed to be
on a perfect vacation,
105
00:05:00,530 --> 00:05:02,360
but then the husband
pushed the wife off a balcony,
106
00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:04,580
and his alibi was that they were
going for a walk on the beach,
107
00:05:04,620 --> 00:05:07,270
but there was only one set
of footprints,
108
00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:11,320
- 'cause he was dumping her body?
- No, but that was a good one.
109
00:05:11,370 --> 00:05:13,280
- It's always the husband, right?
- Right?
110
00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:15,240
- I still watch.
- Me, too!
111
00:05:15,280 --> 00:05:16,629
No, the footprints story
I'm talking about...
112
00:05:16,630 --> 00:05:18,330
I'm surprised you don't know this.
113
00:05:18,330 --> 00:05:20,240
It's on, like, posters
and, like, crocheted stuff.
114
00:05:20,290 --> 00:05:22,834
Anyway, the one I'm talking
about is the one where this guy
115
00:05:22,835 --> 00:05:25,379
was going through a hard time
and only saw one set of footprints
116
00:05:25,380 --> 00:05:26,949
and thought
I had abandoned him, but...
117
00:05:26,950 --> 00:05:29,300
spoiler alert...
I was carrying him.
118
00:05:29,340 --> 00:05:30,299
Oh, I get it.
You're saying
119
00:05:30,300 --> 00:05:32,120
I need to use
my one set of footprints
120
00:05:32,170 --> 00:05:34,130
to enter Wayne in the contest
behind his back!
121
00:05:34,170 --> 00:05:37,349
- That's a great idea!
- No. The story's not
122
00:05:37,350 --> 00:05:39,830
about doing something
behind somebody's back.
123
00:05:39,870 --> 00:05:41,349
Yeah, I think it is.
124
00:05:41,350 --> 00:05:45,089
- Mm... I think no.
- Well...
125
00:05:45,090 --> 00:05:48,100
- yeah...
- No...
126
00:05:48,140 --> 00:05:50,930
WEBB:
Welcome to the 23rd annual
127
00:05:50,970 --> 00:05:53,930
Greenpoint Barbecue Festival,
128
00:05:53,970 --> 00:05:56,980
where we show all of
North Carolina that you can't
129
00:05:57,020 --> 00:06:01,070
spell "barbecue" without some
of the letters in "Greenpoint."
130
00:06:01,110 --> 00:06:03,980
Gram, it's just,
it's too much Wind Song.
131
00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:07,200
Baby, you got
to lure a man with his senses.
132
00:06:07,250 --> 00:06:09,210
And Rick Ocean's senses have
133
00:06:09,250 --> 00:06:12,300
to overcome a park
full of roasting swine.
134
00:06:12,340 --> 00:06:15,300
Now, why is it that you're
wearing a full leather jumpsuit
135
00:06:15,340 --> 00:06:17,170
at an outdoor festival
in the summer?
136
00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:19,350
I call this outfit
my man catcher.
137
00:06:19,390 --> 00:06:22,700
It goes effortlessly
from day to night.
138
00:06:22,740 --> 00:06:25,400
This getup was scientifically
formulated, y'all,
139
00:06:25,440 --> 00:06:30,180
to catch one super fine bass player
by the name of Rick Ocean.
140
00:06:30,230 --> 00:06:33,400
Wait. The band is named after
him, but he's not the lead singer?
141
00:06:33,450 --> 00:06:35,410
'Cause his fingers are that good.
142
00:06:35,450 --> 00:06:39,344
And his thumb is so calloused,
it could hammer a nail
143
00:06:39,345 --> 00:06:42,279
- into sheetrock.
- Ew.
144
00:06:42,314 --> 00:06:46,052
Oh. Ew!
[gasps]
145
00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:47,940
No.
146
00:06:47,980 --> 00:06:49,680
No!
147
00:06:49,720 --> 00:06:52,200
Nooo!
148
00:06:53,380 --> 00:06:56,100
Ooh. I haven't eaten in 36 hours
in preparation to eat
149
00:06:56,101 --> 00:06:58,690
the best barbecue
North Carolina has to offer.
150
00:06:58,730 --> 00:07:03,170
[gasps] Wayne!
What is this over here in this area?
151
00:07:03,220 --> 00:07:05,220
Why is Leonard at that booth?
152
00:07:05,260 --> 00:07:07,113
Congratulations, you're in the contest!
This is your booth.
153
00:07:07,155 --> 00:07:08,529
Get cooking. Yay!
154
00:07:08,530 --> 00:07:10,179
- Jenny...
- I entered you in the contest.
155
00:07:10,180 --> 00:07:12,440
Yay!
What a fun thing I did. Yay!
156
00:07:12,490 --> 00:07:15,489
You should've told me you were
doing this, so I could've said no.
157
00:07:15,490 --> 00:07:17,059
Wait, I did say no!
158
00:07:17,060 --> 00:07:20,410
Come on, Wayne.
We got all your supplies.
159
00:07:20,450 --> 00:07:22,370
Wayne's 'cue! Wayne's 'cue!
160
00:07:22,410 --> 00:07:24,540
BOTH:
Wayne's 'cue! Wayne's 'cue!
161
00:07:24,590 --> 00:07:27,460
- No, no, clap on the word.
- Uh-uh. Follow me.
162
00:07:27,500 --> 00:07:28,849
Wayne's 'cue!
163
00:07:28,850 --> 00:07:32,151
BOTH: Wayne's 'cue! Wayne's 'cue!
Wayne's 'cue!
164
00:07:35,430 --> 00:07:38,250
Well, I thought about it,
and something dawned on me.
165
00:07:38,290 --> 00:07:41,990
I'm a grown-ass man,
and I don't have to be here.
166
00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:44,260
Well, you know, since
we're already signed up, uh,
167
00:07:44,300 --> 00:07:46,520
- I guess I got to cook it myself.
- [gasps]
168
00:07:46,560 --> 00:07:50,000
I'll just grab some of these
flavor dust sprinkles...
169
00:07:50,050 --> 00:07:53,404
- Jenny, you know that's called rub.
- Uh-oh.
170
00:07:53,439 --> 00:07:56,620
That's probably too much.
Well, that's okay.
171
00:07:56,660 --> 00:07:59,400
I'm just gonna rinse it off,
but what do I have for that?
172
00:07:59,450 --> 00:08:01,840
Oh, perfect, baby wipes.
173
00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:05,410
And I'll just cut it into cubes,
and boil it gray.
174
00:08:05,450 --> 00:08:08,020
Jenny, I know that's
reverse psychology,
175
00:08:08,060 --> 00:08:12,110
and I'll tell you right now,
I never don't fall for it.
176
00:08:12,150 --> 00:08:13,850
Give me those tongs!
177
00:08:15,590 --> 00:08:17,590
I'll take a white zin
on the rocks,
178
00:08:17,640 --> 00:08:20,120
- and make it a home pour.
- [sniffs]
179
00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:25,600
- There she is, my Betty.
- Mmm. Zip!
180
00:08:25,650 --> 00:08:29,560
Even though I was standing
next to a Porta Potti
181
00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:31,780
and a mini-dumpster
of pig remains in the heat...
182
00:08:31,830 --> 00:08:34,349
- Zip!
- ...you made sure I found you.
183
00:08:34,350 --> 00:08:38,920
- Senor Oceano.
- Senorita Corazón.
184
00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:41,660
Come on. Let's go back
to my dressing "caban-ya."
185
00:08:41,710 --> 00:08:44,450
I can't wait to peel you
out of that Mamma Mia!
186
00:08:44,490 --> 00:08:47,429
slash Evel Knievel getup.
187
00:08:48,410 --> 00:08:51,240
Hey. Hey, you.
Your costume was built on lies.
188
00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:52,849
- BRENDA: Violet?
- Brenda?
189
00:08:52,850 --> 00:08:57,500
Whew! That feels good.
It's hot as hell in this pig suit.
190
00:08:57,550 --> 00:09:01,640
- What's got you so upset, girly?
- This. I was censored.
191
00:09:01,680 --> 00:09:04,470
Oh, man, that is some
total bull crap.
192
00:09:04,510 --> 00:09:06,600
Girl, you come with me.
I got a plan.
193
00:09:06,640 --> 00:09:09,650
- Already?
- Petty retaliation is in my DNA.
194
00:09:09,690 --> 00:09:11,390
It's my superpower.
195
00:09:11,390 --> 00:09:13,690
Now, stop panicking
'cause Auntie Brenda's gonna
196
00:09:13,740 --> 00:09:17,130
help you fix this the
old-fashioned way: vandalism.
197
00:09:17,180 --> 00:09:20,310
[music]
198
00:09:33,670 --> 00:09:36,979
- Look at you go, Wayne!
- It's a balancing act.
199
00:09:36,980 --> 00:09:40,900
Tart, hot, sour, sweet,
and a million unknowables.
200
00:09:40,940 --> 00:09:42,419
I just have to feel it.
201
00:09:42,420 --> 00:09:45,730
♪ It's so fun
to carry my boyfriend. ♪
202
00:09:45,770 --> 00:09:49,430
Hey, shh. I need total silence
while I work out these ratios.
203
00:09:49,470 --> 00:09:52,280
[heart beating]
204
00:09:54,780 --> 00:09:56,039
[air horn blowing]
205
00:09:56,040 --> 00:09:58,430
ANNOUNCER: Dropping like
a meat-eating meteor,
206
00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:01,920
it's your surprise
celebrity guest judge,
207
00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:04,960
Chip Scoville!
208
00:10:05,010 --> 00:10:06,619
- [air horn blowing]
- [cheering]
209
00:10:06,620 --> 00:10:08,710
Chip Scoville? He's here?
210
00:10:08,750 --> 00:10:11,750
Ugh, where is he getting those sound
effects? [gunfire sound effect plays]
211
00:10:11,800 --> 00:10:13,750
- [eagle screeching sound effect]
- [cheering]
212
00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:16,890
- Wayne, you doing okay?
- Wayne, your vinegar!
213
00:10:16,930 --> 00:10:18,830
My-my ratios!
214
00:10:19,059 --> 00:10:22,689
♪
215
00:10:22,690 --> 00:10:24,339
♪ I love the beach ♪
216
00:10:24,340 --> 00:10:25,819
♪ And the beach loves me ♪
217
00:10:25,820 --> 00:10:27,089
- Uh-huh.
- ♪ The beachy beach ♪
218
00:10:27,090 --> 00:10:30,180
♪ Music really sets me free ♪
219
00:10:30,220 --> 00:10:33,050
♪ I love the beach,
and the beach loves me ♪
220
00:10:33,090 --> 00:10:37,050
♪ Listening to beach music
always sets me free ♪
221
00:10:37,100 --> 00:10:39,230
♪ The notes, the rhythm ♪
222
00:10:39,270 --> 00:10:41,060
♪ The treble, the bass ♪
223
00:10:41,100 --> 00:10:44,800
♪ That beachy beach music
puts a smile on my face ♪
224
00:10:44,840 --> 00:10:48,410
- ♪ Beachy beach music, beach music ♪
- ♪ Ooh, woo ♪
225
00:10:48,460 --> 00:10:50,410
♪ Beachy beach music... ♪
226
00:10:50,620 --> 00:10:53,790
Well, well,
look what the cat shagged in.
227
00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:56,140
Crystalynn?
What are you doing here?
228
00:10:56,190 --> 00:11:00,020
This area is for top-level VIP
entourage only.
229
00:11:00,060 --> 00:11:01,930
Read 'em and weep.
230
00:11:01,980 --> 00:11:03,930
I'm with the lead singer,
231
00:11:03,980 --> 00:11:08,980
aka the front man,
Tim Stinson.
232
00:11:09,030 --> 00:11:12,950
Mm, right. I forgot about him
'cause I'm seeing the bass player,
233
00:11:12,990 --> 00:11:16,950
who the band is named after,
Rick Ocean.
234
00:11:16,990 --> 00:11:20,170
Oh, he just lucked out 'cause
his last name happens to be Ocean.
235
00:11:20,210 --> 00:11:21,869
- Whoo-hoo!
- Whoo!
236
00:11:21,870 --> 00:11:23,570
[both whooping]
237
00:11:25,740 --> 00:11:27,610
♪ Beachy beach music... ♪
238
00:11:27,650 --> 00:11:30,050
Too bad you can't do that,
jumpsuit.
239
00:11:32,660 --> 00:11:35,660
Good thing I always
come prepared.
240
00:11:35,710 --> 00:11:38,060
There's someone special
here tonight,
241
00:11:38,100 --> 00:11:40,880
someone who is the pearl
in my oyster,
242
00:11:40,930 --> 00:11:45,500
the flip to my flop,
the colada to my piña...
243
00:11:45,540 --> 00:11:50,240
Betty Hart, will you join me on stage?
[cheering and applause]
244
00:11:50,290 --> 00:11:52,030
Don't we look good together?
245
00:11:52,070 --> 00:11:53,589
No!
246
00:11:53,590 --> 00:11:55,069
Now, don't you think
this pretty lady
247
00:11:55,070 --> 00:11:57,810
should be by my side
for the entire tour, huh?
248
00:11:57,860 --> 00:11:59,079
No!
249
00:11:59,080 --> 00:12:04,520
I want you to be my woman, Betty.
What do you say?
250
00:12:04,560 --> 00:12:08,267
CRYSTALYNN: Can you
hand that to Tim Stinson?
251
00:12:10,310 --> 00:12:13,570
This feels so good.
Toppling the meatriarchy.
252
00:12:13,610 --> 00:12:14,829
Yeah!
253
00:12:14,830 --> 00:12:17,050
Brenda, are you sure
I'm not gonna get in trouble?
254
00:12:17,090 --> 00:12:19,580
- Violet, you're gonna be fine.
- Hey, kid!
255
00:12:19,620 --> 00:12:20,919
Get down from there!
256
00:12:20,920 --> 00:12:22,750
Oh, crap.
Violet, it's the po-po.
257
00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:24,500
I'll create a perversion.
258
00:12:24,540 --> 00:12:27,190
- Don't you mean diversion?
- Not the way I do it.
259
00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:32,890
Come on, boys,
winner, winner, Brenda dinner.
260
00:12:32,940 --> 00:12:36,110
We got a streak going, babies!
261
00:12:36,160 --> 00:12:37,809
- WOMAN: Randy!
- MAN 1: What the hell, Randy?
262
00:12:37,810 --> 00:12:39,159
MAN 2: That's enough, Randy.
263
00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:40,729
[van chirps]
264
00:12:40,730 --> 00:12:42,159
Well, check out the new tour bus.
265
00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:44,820
It's a sweet ride, honey.
There's a cooler in the console,
266
00:12:44,860 --> 00:12:48,910
perfect for daiquiris, and
any medication you might have.
267
00:12:48,950 --> 00:12:51,960
Mm, I do love an ice cold
Tylenol PM.
268
00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:54,740
Not a bad place to hang
for 46 weeks a year.
269
00:12:54,780 --> 00:12:56,179
What do you say?
270
00:12:56,180 --> 00:12:59,530
[seabirds screeching]
[music]
271
00:12:59,570 --> 00:13:02,050
I don't know, y'all.
272
00:13:02,100 --> 00:13:05,360
You worried I can't take care
of you? [chuckles]
273
00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:07,840
I got a structured
settlement coming in
274
00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:10,100
from when I slipped on a shrimp
and hurt my back
275
00:13:10,150 --> 00:13:12,320
on a pontoon boat at Riverfest.
276
00:13:12,370 --> 00:13:15,951
Mm. You are pushing
all the right buttons.
277
00:13:16,890 --> 00:13:19,940
I have to think about it.
Give me the night.
278
00:13:19,980 --> 00:13:21,940
I say give me the night!
279
00:13:21,990 --> 00:13:24,730
- [air horn blowing]
- [cheering]
280
00:13:24,770 --> 00:13:27,730
Get ready, pork munchers.
One minute to tongs down.
281
00:13:27,770 --> 00:13:30,430
Nope, still not right.
I got to cut the heat that I added
282
00:13:30,470 --> 00:13:32,870
to counter the sweet,
that I added to counter the sour
283
00:13:32,910 --> 00:13:34,960
of all that extra vinegar.
Ah, you know what?
284
00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:39,740
- Let's just go all ketchup. Damn it, Jenny.
- Well, sorry.
285
00:13:39,790 --> 00:13:41,399
- [air horn blowing]
- Tongs down!
286
00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:44,966
Your Lord and Flavior
is upon you.
287
00:13:47,180 --> 00:13:48,359
Uh...
288
00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:49,969
- Uh...
- Hi, Mr. Scoville.
289
00:13:49,970 --> 00:13:52,890
Wow, that is fun hair. [laughs]
290
00:13:52,930 --> 00:13:55,800
Seeing it in person, lucky me.
Whoo! And your cologne!
291
00:13:55,850 --> 00:13:57,930
Wow, that is... [inhales]
that's great.
292
00:13:57,980 --> 00:14:00,110
You don't get that aspect
on TV, do you?
293
00:14:00,150 --> 00:14:02,030
Anyways, Chip...
can I call you Chip?
294
00:14:02,070 --> 00:14:05,002
I'm talking too much. You see,
I put Wayne in this position.
295
00:14:05,037 --> 00:14:07,990
This is too long. Anyways, can
you just please go easy on him?
296
00:14:08,030 --> 00:14:09,990
"Easys" are for Sunday mornings,
297
00:14:10,030 --> 00:14:13,340
and last time I checked,
it's Bro-derday.
298
00:14:13,380 --> 00:14:15,704
Now hit me with your pork.
299
00:14:15,705 --> 00:14:18,875
[tense music]
300
00:14:21,700 --> 00:14:26,050
[sniffs] Now let's see how
it donkey-kicks my taste-budoodles.
301
00:14:31,970 --> 00:14:34,270
Your sauce...
302
00:14:36,630 --> 00:14:39,317
...is a total loss.
303
00:14:40,760 --> 00:14:42,460
[retches]
304
00:14:43,890 --> 00:14:45,940
This is the worst day of my life.
305
00:14:45,980 --> 00:14:50,772
- Why did you make me do this?
- Oh, Wayne, I'm so sorry.
306
00:14:58,860 --> 00:15:02,070
So, uh, your whole
"footprints in the sand" thing
307
00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:03,809
really blew up in my face.
308
00:15:03,810 --> 00:15:07,339
- Wayne is so upset.
- Boy, you're really not getting this.
309
00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:10,909
You are still on the beach, okay?
You're still living the allegory.
310
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:14,080
So just keep on
walking down that beach.
311
00:15:14,130 --> 00:15:16,260
I mean, I carried that guy
a really long way.
312
00:15:16,300 --> 00:15:18,260
My dogs were barking.
313
00:15:18,310 --> 00:15:20,350
You know, maybe I'm not getting it
'cause I can't picture it.
314
00:15:20,390 --> 00:15:22,790
Were you carrying the guy,
like, fireman style?
315
00:15:22,830 --> 00:15:24,660
Or, like, a bride
over the threshold?
316
00:15:24,700 --> 00:15:26,920
It was face-to-face, like how
you would carry a toddler.
317
00:15:26,970 --> 00:15:29,320
Really? So, like, with his legs
wrapped around you?
318
00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:31,060
And your hands on his butt?
319
00:15:31,100 --> 00:15:32,970
Yeah, we called it
a "Jericho Sleigh Ride."
320
00:15:33,020 --> 00:15:34,499
It was a pretty standard mode
of transportation back then.
321
00:15:34,500 --> 00:15:35,849
[quietly]
It was a different time.
322
00:15:35,850 --> 00:15:38,150
Look, just buck up and keep going.
323
00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:39,589
I think I'm finally understanding.
324
00:15:39,590 --> 00:15:43,030
I wasn't carrying him,
I was pushing him.
325
00:15:43,070 --> 00:15:45,070
I just wanted him
to see how great he is.
326
00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:49,080
- Or you wanted you to see how great he is.
- [chuckles] What?
327
00:15:49,120 --> 00:15:51,380
I'm just saying,
maybe Wayne's carrying you.
328
00:15:51,430 --> 00:15:53,130
Maybe you're about
to learn something.
329
00:15:53,170 --> 00:15:54,870
Ugh!
330
00:15:56,130 --> 00:15:58,315
How did that guy not know
your hands were on his butt?
331
00:15:58,350 --> 00:16:02,000
Oh, maybe he was asleep?
I mean, that had to be it, right?
332
00:16:02,050 --> 00:16:03,219
Otherwise, you'd just be
creepily staring
333
00:16:03,220 --> 00:16:06,180
into each other's eyes?
Jesus?
334
00:16:09,230 --> 00:16:10,579
[tires screech]
335
00:16:10,580 --> 00:16:12,280
You still eating on that?
336
00:16:12,320 --> 00:16:14,140
Well, it's good
to the last drop, baby.
337
00:16:14,190 --> 00:16:16,060
- I know.
- [sighs] I'm sorry, Wayne.
338
00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:18,980
You are so great, and your
frickin' barbecue is so great.
339
00:16:19,020 --> 00:16:20,930
I just wanted you to see that.
340
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:23,630
Jenny, I'm good.
And I know my barbecue's good.
341
00:16:23,680 --> 00:16:25,380
- Good.
- And I wasn't down on myself
342
00:16:25,420 --> 00:16:28,330
until it seemed like
you were down on myself.
343
00:16:28,380 --> 00:16:30,160
I wasn't down on you.
344
00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:32,030
Then why'd you force me
into the cook-off?
345
00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:36,169
I guess I did need to prove something
to myself. Or maybe to Mother?
346
00:16:36,170 --> 00:16:39,650
But your barbecue and you
are already amazing.
347
00:16:39,690 --> 00:16:45,220
- I'm just such a dang ding-dong.
- Jenny, I have a idea.
348
00:16:45,260 --> 00:16:47,480
[insects trilling]
349
00:16:48,570 --> 00:16:50,179
[radio plays]
350
00:16:50,180 --> 00:16:53,660
BETTY: Oh, Betty,
what the hell are you gonna do?
351
00:16:53,710 --> 00:16:55,970
♪
352
00:16:56,010 --> 00:16:58,970
♪ Goin' beach to beach
with my baby ♪
353
00:16:59,020 --> 00:17:03,540
[cheering] ♪ Beach music
in a traveling show ♪
354
00:17:03,580 --> 00:17:07,460
♪ Sittin' in my car
with my baby ♪
355
00:17:07,500 --> 00:17:11,680
♪ Beach music on the radio ♪
356
00:17:11,720 --> 00:17:13,810
- ♪ Got our beach T-shirts ♪
- BOTH: Oh!
357
00:17:13,860 --> 00:17:16,680
♪ And beach blond hair ♪
358
00:17:16,730 --> 00:17:20,080
♪ Sand in our flip-flops
and our underwear ♪
359
00:17:20,120 --> 00:17:22,260
♪ Goin' beach-to-beach ♪
360
00:17:22,300 --> 00:17:24,210
♪ With my beachy beach baby ♪
361
00:17:24,260 --> 00:17:27,220
♪ Beach-to-beach
with my beachy beach girl ♪
362
00:17:27,260 --> 00:17:30,610
♪ All you need is music
and a beach ♪
363
00:17:30,660 --> 00:17:34,140
♪ And a man and a lady ♪
364
00:17:34,180 --> 00:17:35,049
♪ Beach. ♪
365
00:17:37,140 --> 00:17:38,489
BRENDA:
So back to see your handiwork?
366
00:17:38,490 --> 00:17:41,060
Yeah. I didn't get to fill
the thought bubble in,
367
00:17:41,100 --> 00:17:43,280
but I think it's still gonna get
my message across:
368
00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:45,060
- pigs have thoughts and feelings.
- [laughter]
369
00:17:45,100 --> 00:17:47,060
CHARLES LEE [laughing]:
Look at that pig!
370
00:17:47,110 --> 00:17:49,500
- He's fartin'!
- JIMMY LEE: A farting pig?
371
00:17:49,540 --> 00:17:52,160
- That's hilarious.
- Oh...
372
00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:55,070
- What?
- CHARLES LEE: That funny farting pig
373
00:17:55,110 --> 00:17:57,730
is really making me want
to eat more barbecue.
374
00:17:57,770 --> 00:18:00,160
Yeah, yesterday
I got kind of depressed
375
00:18:00,210 --> 00:18:02,250
thinking about
how intelligent pigs are.
376
00:18:02,300 --> 00:18:07,000
But this fun drawing has
really lightened the mood.
377
00:18:08,430 --> 00:18:12,349
- I thought you didn't eat meat.
- I just realized something.
378
00:18:12,350 --> 00:18:15,569
Pigs aren't as smart as people...
they're clearly way smarter.
379
00:18:15,570 --> 00:18:17,830
And if we don't eat them,
they're gonna take over.
380
00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:19,139
True 'dat. Whoo!
381
00:18:19,140 --> 00:18:22,190
♪
382
00:18:22,230 --> 00:18:23,930
[sighs]
383
00:18:26,360 --> 00:18:28,100
[gasps]
Betty. Thank the beach.
384
00:18:28,150 --> 00:18:30,320
For a minute, I thought
you weren't comin'.
385
00:18:30,370 --> 00:18:32,330
I've thought about it.
I've dreamt about it.
386
00:18:32,370 --> 00:18:35,890
You're offering me a life
of glitz and glamour,
387
00:18:35,940 --> 00:18:38,290
soft rocking our way
through the finest
388
00:18:38,330 --> 00:18:40,510
Native American
gambling establishments
389
00:18:40,550 --> 00:18:42,119
through all the Southeast.
390
00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:46,510
But I'm a star right here in
Greenpoint... the star of my family.
391
00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:48,300
I'm La Toya Jackson,
392
00:18:48,340 --> 00:18:50,340
and they are whoever
those other Jacksons are.
393
00:18:50,390 --> 00:18:54,090
My family's my entourage,
and they need me to survive.
394
00:18:54,130 --> 00:18:58,374
I can't say I didn't see
this coming, but...
395
00:19:05,230 --> 00:19:06,709
[van engine starts]
396
00:19:06,710 --> 00:19:11,320
- Well, I guess this is it.
- Honey, this is not it.
397
00:19:11,360 --> 00:19:14,190
You're gonna be wading
through my low tide at...
398
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:18,200
The Durham Craft Beer
and Catfish Bash in September.
399
00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:20,940
See you soon, Mr. Ocean.
400
00:19:20,980 --> 00:19:23,250
- Not if I smell you first.
- [van chirps]
401
00:19:23,290 --> 00:19:25,290
[whirring and grinding]
402
00:19:31,990 --> 00:19:34,080
You know what?
I got stuff to do.
403
00:19:38,170 --> 00:19:41,480
WAYNE: It's time for Chip
to taste my real barbecue.
404
00:19:41,530 --> 00:19:43,219
[door opens]
405
00:19:43,220 --> 00:19:44,789
Ding-dong doodle, broseef.
406
00:19:44,790 --> 00:19:47,010
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
You can't just barge in here.
407
00:19:47,050 --> 00:19:49,230
Oh, hey. You're the guy
with that vinegar bomb
408
00:19:49,270 --> 00:19:51,490
from yesterday that nearly
threatened my sobriety.
409
00:19:51,540 --> 00:19:53,410
Chip, he is such a huge fan.
410
00:19:53,450 --> 00:19:56,564
He's-he's seen every episode
of D3 multiple times.
411
00:19:56,599 --> 00:19:58,590
If he's a true fan,
he's seen the online aftershow
412
00:19:58,630 --> 00:20:00,410
of season four, episode three.
413
00:20:00,460 --> 00:20:03,109
- The Meat Diaper Challenge.
- If your slather don't stick...
414
00:20:03,110 --> 00:20:04,199
BOTH: You must acquit.
415
00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:07,200
Blango tango.
Hang on, boys.
416
00:20:07,250 --> 00:20:09,860
Looks like we got
a true-blue fanaroo here.
417
00:20:09,900 --> 00:20:11,950
It's true,
Mr. Bro-sident in Chef.
418
00:20:11,990 --> 00:20:13,469
All right.
Hand me that pan.
419
00:20:13,470 --> 00:20:16,300
But this better knock
the chain off my wallet.
420
00:20:18,690 --> 00:20:22,867
[grunting, munching]:
Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.
421
00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:31,490
Hey, hoss, your sauce...
422
00:20:33,230 --> 00:20:34,879
...is boss!
423
00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:36,970
[air horn blowing]
424
00:20:37,020 --> 00:20:39,410
[music]
♪ Mm. Oh, yeah ♪
425
00:20:39,450 --> 00:20:40,889
♪
426
00:20:40,890 --> 00:20:43,020
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
427
00:20:43,060 --> 00:20:45,200
♪
428
00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:46,239
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
429
00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:48,420
♪
430
00:20:48,460 --> 00:20:51,250
- ♪ Oh, yeah ♪
- ♪ Chicka, chicka ♪
431
00:20:51,290 --> 00:20:54,340
- Baby, you just got bro-fingered.
- Oh, yeah.
432
00:20:54,380 --> 00:20:58,099
- [air horn sound effect plays]
- ♪ Chicka, chicka. ♪
433
00:21:01,280 --> 00:21:03,259
Well, Jenny, you were right.
434
00:21:03,260 --> 00:21:06,220
Wayne's an entre-pray-newer
after all.
435
00:21:06,260 --> 00:21:07,129
Here you go.
Got one for you.
436
00:21:07,130 --> 00:21:09,180
Right here.
Thank you very much.
437
00:21:09,220 --> 00:21:10,829
Who knows people
were dying for a way
438
00:21:10,830 --> 00:21:12,489
to burn off all that barbecue.
439
00:21:12,490 --> 00:21:15,180
- [gunshot] Run, you beautiful beasts!
- [ostriches chittering]
440
00:21:15,230 --> 00:21:18,930
Devil birds, you'll never
catch me, my babies!
441
00:21:18,970 --> 00:21:20,359
- Oh! It got me!
- [ostrich chirping]
442
00:21:20,360 --> 00:21:22,019
- Oh, Lord, look away, Violet.
- RANDY: Oh-ee!
443
00:21:22,020 --> 00:21:23,720
- I've already seen it.
- [Randy grunting]
444
00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:25,239
RANDY: Ow!
445
00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:29,160
Ah! Ooh! Ah!
Ooh! Ooh.
446
00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:31,200
[laughs] Ow!
447
00:21:32,230 --> 00:21:35,371
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