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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,053 --> 00:00:03,055 sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~ 2 00:00:04,057 --> 00:00:06,059 Can't ever remember how many clicks 3 00:00:06,103 --> 00:00:08,932 through fuzz it takes to get to the channel. 4 00:00:08,975 --> 00:00:11,151 - I want to say eight clicks. - It's eight. 5 00:00:11,195 --> 00:00:12,849 Mother, if you're gonna keep sitting out there, 6 00:00:12,892 --> 00:00:15,895 - don't chime in. - BETTY: Wayne, can you get me some more wine? 7 00:00:15,939 --> 00:00:18,985 - Sure thing, Betty. - Wayne, do not get her that wine. 8 00:00:19,029 --> 00:00:20,900 You do not work for her. Mother, if you want some wine, 9 00:00:20,944 --> 00:00:22,032 - you can come in and get it. - I will not come in. 10 00:00:22,075 --> 00:00:24,948 - I just got settled out here under the lanai. - Mother! 11 00:00:24,991 --> 00:00:27,515 BETTY: What? I can't hear you 'cause I'm outside. 12 00:00:27,559 --> 00:00:30,954 Just gonna set it here like a... like a pie cooling. 13 00:00:30,997 --> 00:00:34,958 - Don't you hand her that wine. - Damn you to hell, girl. 14 00:00:35,001 --> 00:00:36,742 Hi, Maykay Bueller here. 15 00:00:36,786 --> 00:00:38,788 I am supposed to be on vocal rest, 16 00:00:38,831 --> 00:00:41,921 but my station in life is to serve Greenpoint. 17 00:00:41,965 --> 00:00:44,402 There is some brewing controversy 18 00:00:44,445 --> 00:00:47,100 revolving around the Morris Culpepper statue. 19 00:00:47,144 --> 00:00:50,495 Some people are asking, "Does it glorify tobacco, 20 00:00:50,538 --> 00:00:52,758 or is it part of our heritage?" 21 00:00:52,802 --> 00:00:54,029 Other people are asking, 22 00:00:54,030 --> 00:00:57,850 "Should it stay, or should it go?" 23 00:00:57,894 --> 00:01:00,026 CROWD [chanting]: Smoking causes cancer! 24 00:01:00,070 --> 00:01:02,507 Remove that statue, ban it, sir! 25 00:01:02,550 --> 00:01:04,074 OPPOSING CROWD [chanting]: Statue stays! 26 00:01:04,117 --> 00:01:06,293 That statue needs to come down,like, yesterday. 27 00:01:06,337 --> 00:01:08,992 Jenny, a lot of people have strong feelings about that statue. 28 00:01:09,035 --> 00:01:11,037 They think it's part of our history, 29 00:01:11,081 --> 00:01:14,040 like the Wright Brothers or Fantasia Barrino. 30 00:01:14,084 --> 00:01:16,086 Maybe so, but smoking is not something 31 00:01:16,129 --> 00:01:18,653 we should be celebrating, statue or otherwise. 32 00:01:18,697 --> 00:01:22,353 I'm just saying, people get awfully riled up about these things. 33 00:01:22,396 --> 00:01:24,790 Maybe it's best to let sleeping dogs lie. 34 00:01:24,834 --> 00:01:27,793 Wayne's right, y'all. We should let that statue alone. 35 00:01:27,837 --> 00:01:29,839 [grunting] 36 00:01:30,927 --> 00:01:32,929 [grunting] 37 00:01:37,150 --> 00:01:39,109 Damn it to hellfire! 38 00:01:39,152 --> 00:01:41,154 ♪ ♪ 39 00:02:08,805 --> 00:02:12,025 VIOLET: You guys, I've been reading up on Morris Culpepper. 40 00:02:12,069 --> 00:02:14,898 He was insane in all the funnest ways. 41 00:02:14,941 --> 00:02:17,335 He clearly went crazy with all his tobacco money. 42 00:02:17,378 --> 00:02:19,250 He invented a knife for babies. 43 00:02:19,293 --> 00:02:21,295 - DAVID: Stop. - VIOLET: He founded a sperm bank 44 00:02:21,339 --> 00:02:22,862 - with only his sperm. - DAVID: Girl. 45 00:02:22,906 --> 00:02:26,039 VIOLET: He had his hip replaced with Liza Minelli's old hip. 46 00:02:26,083 --> 00:02:27,867 - DAVID: Love! - WAYNE: Whoa. 47 00:02:27,911 --> 00:02:29,956 He even tried to start a Smoking Olympics. 48 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:33,264 VIOLET: And the footnote says 19 people almost drowned, 49 00:02:33,307 --> 00:02:35,135 but then later died of cancer. 50 00:02:35,179 --> 00:02:38,921 Wait. What? It says here Morris Culpepper 51 00:02:38,922 --> 00:02:42,839 dated Miss Teen Tobacco Leaf, Betty June Bryant? 52 00:02:42,840 --> 00:02:45,057 ♪ ♪ 53 00:02:45,058 --> 00:02:46,190 - Mother? - Betty? 54 00:02:47,191 --> 00:02:52,065 Yes, it is true, y'all. Morris and I had a brief dalliance. 55 00:02:52,109 --> 00:02:54,589 The year was 1983, 56 00:02:54,633 --> 00:02:57,114 and a 17-year-old beauty queen was discovered 57 00:02:57,157 --> 00:02:59,899 by one Morris Culpepper. 58 00:02:59,943 --> 00:03:02,946 Hello. [coughs] I'm Morris. 59 00:03:02,989 --> 00:03:04,034 [loud coughing] 60 00:03:04,077 --> 00:03:07,037 BETTY: We had a whirlwind romance. 61 00:03:07,080 --> 00:03:09,779 - [engine revving] - Fast cars, 62 00:03:09,822 --> 00:03:12,042 romantic evenings. 63 00:03:12,085 --> 00:03:15,088 He even took me on a factory tour. 64 00:03:20,615 --> 00:03:24,532 I was gonna Anna-Nicole-Smith him and lovingly inherit his millions, 65 00:03:24,576 --> 00:03:28,275 - but then things took a tragic turn. - VIOLET: Oh, no. 66 00:03:28,319 --> 00:03:30,060 - He died? - I wish. 67 00:03:30,103 --> 00:03:33,977 No, the tragedy was when I realized I was gonna have 68 00:03:34,020 --> 00:03:37,981 to be with him in the biblical way, and I just couldn't do it. 69 00:03:38,024 --> 00:03:40,505 - [whirring] - [yelps] 70 00:03:40,548 --> 00:03:41,680 It's my tragic flaw. 71 00:03:41,681 --> 00:03:44,857 I just cannot do it with a rich older guy for the money! 72 00:03:44,901 --> 00:03:46,076 [sobbing] 73 00:03:46,119 --> 00:03:49,906 In the end, a younger woman swooped in 74 00:03:49,949 --> 00:03:52,082 - and did what I could not. - [applause] 75 00:03:52,125 --> 00:03:53,431 Marjune Gamble. 76 00:03:53,474 --> 00:03:56,086 She swooped in the second I dumped him. 77 00:03:56,129 --> 00:03:59,437 And when Morris finally died at age 105... 78 00:03:59,480 --> 00:04:01,874 then weirdly came back to life four days later... 79 00:04:01,918 --> 00:04:04,877 then finally, finally died at the age of 118, 80 00:04:04,921 --> 00:04:08,315 Marjune inherited everything he owned. 81 00:04:08,359 --> 00:04:10,970 That bitch. Is she still alive? 82 00:04:11,014 --> 00:04:13,103 Because if so, she is dead to me. 83 00:04:13,146 --> 00:04:16,019 No one's seen her in years. She's a recluse. 84 00:04:16,062 --> 00:04:18,630 Y'all, I should've been that rich recluse! 85 00:04:18,673 --> 00:04:22,231 [grunts] [plastic glass clacking] 86 00:04:22,982 --> 00:04:25,985 Well, that was not as dramatic as I had hoped. 87 00:04:26,029 --> 00:04:27,987 We have got to find Marjune Culpepper. 88 00:04:28,031 --> 00:04:29,032 [Violet sniffs] 89 00:04:29,075 --> 00:04:32,035 Can you smell it? A major Grey Gardens situation. 90 00:04:32,078 --> 00:04:35,016 - What's a Grey Gardens? - It's a documentary 91 00:04:35,017 --> 00:04:38,868 about a crazy old lady and her unmarried daughter living in squalor. 92 00:04:38,911 --> 00:04:42,175 - I think I'm good. - Yeah, I think I can skip that one. 93 00:04:42,219 --> 00:04:44,177 [overlapping chanting] 94 00:04:46,009 --> 00:04:48,708 So what do y'all think about all this Culpepper statue business? 95 00:04:48,751 --> 00:04:50,448 [chuckles] I haven't seen this much hubbub 96 00:04:50,492 --> 00:04:52,712 since they put up that gender-neutral gazebo. 97 00:04:52,755 --> 00:04:54,888 Oh, Lord, I know. It's a mess out there! 98 00:04:54,931 --> 00:04:57,978 As far as I'm concerned, they can melt that statue down 99 00:04:58,021 --> 00:05:00,284 and use it to fix the guardrail on Culpepper Slims Boulevard. 100 00:05:00,328 --> 00:05:01,851 [all gasp] 101 00:05:07,944 --> 00:05:10,294 ...is ...what I heard 102 00:05:10,338 --> 00:05:12,906 one... stupid lady say. 103 00:05:12,949 --> 00:05:15,778 As I threw her out on her tobacco-hating rear end! 104 00:05:15,822 --> 00:05:20,348 - You did not! - [laughs] That's my girl! 105 00:05:20,391 --> 00:05:22,698 Welcome to the right side of history. 106 00:05:25,005 --> 00:05:27,007 [softly] Woo-hoo. 107 00:05:31,925 --> 00:05:34,928 - Ugh. I feel gross. - Aw, Jenny. What happened? 108 00:05:34,971 --> 00:05:37,582 I lied to a customer and said I was pro-statue 109 00:05:37,626 --> 00:05:39,933 and pro-tobacco in order to land a tip. 110 00:05:39,976 --> 00:05:41,978 I mean, look, I hate that statue 111 00:05:42,022 --> 00:05:44,981 - and everything it stands for. - I know. Me, too! 112 00:05:45,025 --> 00:05:47,375 Smoking took three of my four great-uncles. 113 00:05:47,418 --> 00:05:49,072 But I learned a long time ago, 114 00:05:49,116 --> 00:05:53,337 when it comes to important issues, never take a side. 115 00:05:53,381 --> 00:05:56,906 But... take a look at what happens when you agree with people. 116 00:05:56,950 --> 00:05:59,779 Oh, my Lord, Jenny. Are you kidding me right now? 117 00:05:59,822 --> 00:06:01,041 Look at all those Washingtons. 118 00:06:01,084 --> 00:06:06,002 - Taking a side really pays well. - Yeah, but it feels awful. 119 00:06:06,046 --> 00:06:08,091 Well, don't be too hard on yourself. 120 00:06:08,135 --> 00:06:10,485 You are keeping the peace. 121 00:06:10,528 --> 00:06:13,096 Yeah. Guess you could say I'm kind of a... 122 00:06:13,140 --> 00:06:15,751 paid ambassador. [chuckles] 123 00:06:15,795 --> 00:06:17,971 But, you know, you don't think maybe 124 00:06:18,014 --> 00:06:20,103 I should just give all this money to charity? 125 00:06:20,147 --> 00:06:22,192 Yeah but... look around. 126 00:06:22,236 --> 00:06:23,933 If we were to give that money to charity, 127 00:06:23,977 --> 00:06:27,589 they'd probably just turn around and give it right back to us. 128 00:06:27,632 --> 00:06:30,810 That's true. We would just be eliminating the middleman. 129 00:06:30,853 --> 00:06:34,030 And we could really fix things up around here. 130 00:06:34,074 --> 00:06:36,946 And all this cashola sure would look good 131 00:06:36,990 --> 00:06:39,079 in Violet's art school fund. 132 00:06:39,122 --> 00:06:41,385 Oh, my God, there's a Lincoln in here! 133 00:06:41,429 --> 00:06:43,779 If taking a side pays this well, 134 00:06:43,823 --> 00:06:46,564 taking both sides would pay double well. 135 00:06:47,914 --> 00:06:49,829 Hmm. 136 00:06:49,872 --> 00:06:51,395 Welcome to The Last Supper. 137 00:06:51,439 --> 00:06:52,919 Would you like to sit in the pro-statue 138 00:06:52,962 --> 00:06:54,572 or anti-statue section? 139 00:06:56,574 --> 00:06:59,969 History? That statue wasn't put up till 2002! 140 00:07:00,013 --> 00:07:02,406 I've got bras that are more historical than that. 141 00:07:04,017 --> 00:07:07,150 First they knock down our statues. Wh-Where does it end? 142 00:07:07,194 --> 00:07:09,979 Pretty soon they won't let cartoon characters smoke on TV. 143 00:07:10,023 --> 00:07:11,024 Ain't that the truth. 144 00:07:12,614 --> 00:07:15,423 ♪ ♪ 145 00:07:16,116 --> 00:07:18,031 [cash registering beeping, whirring] 146 00:07:18,074 --> 00:07:20,947 - [coin clinking on ground] - [cash register whirring] 147 00:07:20,990 --> 00:07:23,950 JENNY: ♪ I got bills to pay and my home's a rental ♪ 148 00:07:23,993 --> 00:07:26,256 ♪ Dealing with a problem that's monumental ♪ 149 00:07:26,300 --> 00:07:29,781 ♪ Got to knead both sides if you want to make some bread ♪ 150 00:07:29,825 --> 00:07:32,959 ♪ So take your opinions and stuff 'em down ♪ 151 00:07:33,002 --> 00:07:35,570 ♪ Print bumper stickers to sell in town ♪ 152 00:07:35,613 --> 00:07:39,791 ♪ Why take a stand when you can take the cash instead? ♪ 153 00:07:39,835 --> 00:07:42,055 CHORUS: ♪ Working 4:00 to 10:00 ♪ 154 00:07:42,098 --> 00:07:44,796 JENNY: ♪ Turning both sides against the middle ♪ 155 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,711 CHORUS: ♪ Working 4:00 to 10:00 ♪ 156 00:07:46,755 --> 00:07:49,402 JENNY: ♪ Who cares if it's hypocritical ♪ 157 00:07:49,437 --> 00:07:51,284 CHORUS: ♪ Working 4:00 to 10:00 ♪ 158 00:07:51,319 --> 00:07:53,743 JENNY: ♪ Late shift never felt so shifty ♪ 159 00:07:53,778 --> 00:07:56,020 CHORUS: ♪ Working 4:00 to 10:00 ♪ 160 00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:59,637 JENNY: ♪ But the cash is sort of nifty! ♪ 161 00:08:01,901 --> 00:08:04,326 - 61, 62... - [heavenly music plays] 162 00:08:04,361 --> 00:08:06,079 - It's just so great. - What? 163 00:08:06,122 --> 00:08:08,461 Just how you're totally compromising your moral 164 00:08:08,462 --> 00:08:10,801 integrity and saying a bunch of stuff you don't believe 165 00:08:10,802 --> 00:08:13,086 - just to make money. - Oh, here we go. 166 00:08:13,129 --> 00:08:15,697 Seriously, I'm jealous! I really am! 167 00:08:15,740 --> 00:08:18,293 But then I think, what would Ido? 168 00:08:18,302 --> 00:08:21,653 And the answer is, "Ooh, boy." Not that. 169 00:08:21,696 --> 00:08:24,395 Okay, y-you don't have to be smart about it. 170 00:08:24,438 --> 00:08:28,225 Doing the right thing sometimes hurts. Hurts so good. 171 00:08:28,268 --> 00:08:30,792 Just like the John Cougar Mellencamp song. 172 00:08:30,836 --> 00:08:33,360 - I love that song. - I know you do, and you should. 173 00:08:33,404 --> 00:08:35,797 The Cougs was really onto something. 174 00:08:35,841 --> 00:08:39,236 Taking the easy way out isn't always the best thing to do. 175 00:08:39,279 --> 00:08:40,999 Stop. I already feel guilty enough. 176 00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:43,023 I'm not trying to make you feel guilty. Go nuts! 177 00:08:43,066 --> 00:08:45,655 But it is a little weird that you bought those 600 178 00:08:45,656 --> 00:08:48,245 thread count sheets and still can't sleep at night. 179 00:08:48,289 --> 00:08:50,160 Wonder what that's about. 180 00:08:50,204 --> 00:08:53,903 - Okay, Jesus. I get it. - [high-pitched] Do you? 181 00:08:53,947 --> 00:08:57,820 So... back to the sheets. What do those suckers feel like? 182 00:08:57,864 --> 00:09:01,389 Because this... 20 count. It used to hold grain. 183 00:09:04,252 --> 00:09:08,560 [gasps] Tell me, y'all, is there a Mrs. Senator? 184 00:09:08,604 --> 00:09:10,693 - Gram? - [yells] 185 00:09:10,737 --> 00:09:12,260 Don't sneak up on your grandmother 186 00:09:12,303 --> 00:09:14,436 when she's thinking about what could have been! 187 00:09:14,479 --> 00:09:16,111 Well, we were hoping for a less 188 00:09:16,112 --> 00:09:19,702 emotionally-charged moment to tell you this, but... 189 00:09:19,746 --> 00:09:21,922 We found Marjune's address, and we need you to take us there. 190 00:09:21,965 --> 00:09:24,794 Hell, no. Why would I want to go and meet the woman 191 00:09:24,838 --> 00:09:27,971 - who got everything I didn't? - Because we told you, Gram! 192 00:09:28,015 --> 00:09:29,930 It's gonna be a Grey Gardens situation. 193 00:09:29,973 --> 00:09:33,977 Guaranteed sadness. It'll be cathartic for you. 194 00:09:34,021 --> 00:09:37,981 Marjune Culpepper is a recluse. A sad, widowed recluse. 195 00:09:38,025 --> 00:09:39,026 I prepared a presentation 196 00:09:39,027 --> 00:09:41,506 of the spinster-esque horrors you can expect to see. 197 00:09:41,550 --> 00:09:43,944 Like... a single, unworn baby shoe 198 00:09:43,987 --> 00:09:45,946 with a centipede crawling out of it. 199 00:09:45,989 --> 00:09:50,690 DAVID: Marjune serving high tea to a family of world-weary raccoons. 200 00:09:50,733 --> 00:09:54,127 VIOLET: Followed by a mid-afternoon widow's nap where she spoons 201 00:09:54,128 --> 00:09:56,870 the fully-intact skeleton of her dead handyman. 202 00:09:56,913 --> 00:09:58,872 And that's just the tip of the creep-berg. 203 00:09:58,915 --> 00:10:02,963 Maybe it would be kind of nice to see the lonely hole 204 00:10:03,006 --> 00:10:05,464 that gold digger dug herself into. 205 00:10:05,499 --> 00:10:06,488 - Yes! - Yay! 206 00:10:06,531 --> 00:10:07,881 But hand to God, 207 00:10:07,924 --> 00:10:10,622 if she's not eating tuna salad off a Frisbee plate 208 00:10:10,666 --> 00:10:12,135 and wearing tissue-box shoes, 209 00:10:12,170 --> 00:10:14,801 there is gonna be hell to pay, y'all. 210 00:10:14,844 --> 00:10:17,804 ♪ ♪ 211 00:10:17,847 --> 00:10:20,807 [indistinct shouting] 212 00:10:20,850 --> 00:10:22,809 [crowd chanting, booing] 213 00:10:22,852 --> 00:10:24,288 MAN: Yeah, I don't even see what the big deal's all about! 214 00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:28,336 Good evening, everyone. Settle down. 215 00:10:28,379 --> 00:10:29,903 Please. Settle down. [feedback] 216 00:10:29,946 --> 00:10:32,340 Thank you all for coming tonight. 217 00:10:32,383 --> 00:10:36,518 I called this emergency meeting so we could have a safe place 218 00:10:36,561 --> 00:10:39,042 to try to work through this statue problem. 219 00:10:39,086 --> 00:10:42,567 Look at me! I'm the statue, babies! 220 00:10:42,611 --> 00:10:43,917 - WOMAN: Get out of here, Randy. - No, Randy. 221 00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:45,919 - No, please. Not tonight. - [crowd shouting] 222 00:10:45,962 --> 00:10:49,096 But it's a carnival atmosphere, babies. 223 00:10:49,139 --> 00:10:51,011 - MAN: Randy! - WOMAN: Get out of here, Randy! 224 00:10:51,054 --> 00:10:53,927 Randy, you cannot do fire blowing in here. 225 00:10:53,970 --> 00:10:57,582 I'm begging you. Please, sit down. 226 00:10:57,626 --> 00:11:01,021 Now, I feel confident that we are gonna be able 227 00:11:01,064 --> 00:11:04,502 to solve this statue issue peacefully tonight. 228 00:11:04,546 --> 00:11:06,940 - That statue needs to stay the hell up. - OTHERS: Yeah! 229 00:11:06,983 --> 00:11:10,117 If it were up to me, I'd put more cigarettes on that thing. 230 00:11:10,160 --> 00:11:12,597 - [cheering] - As an exotic dancer, 231 00:11:12,641 --> 00:11:14,948 I inhale second-hand smoke all damn day. 232 00:11:14,991 --> 00:11:16,993 Even when I'm on break! 233 00:11:17,037 --> 00:11:17,951 - OTHERS: Yeah! - And I hate it. 234 00:11:17,994 --> 00:11:22,999 I think the statue should stay up. 235 00:11:23,043 --> 00:11:24,914 - Thank you. - [crowd cheering] 236 00:11:24,958 --> 00:11:29,005 What? Really? You got a hole in your throat. 237 00:11:29,049 --> 00:11:32,269 Oh, boy. Sounds like we're pretty evenly divided. 238 00:11:32,313 --> 00:11:34,794 How are we gonna settle this? 239 00:11:34,837 --> 00:11:37,709 H-Hold on! Our waitress at The Last Supper 240 00:11:37,753 --> 00:11:40,147 just made some great points about the statue. 241 00:11:40,190 --> 00:11:41,888 We should let her talk. 242 00:11:41,931 --> 00:11:44,151 Oh, you mean Jenny? Oh, yeah. 243 00:11:44,194 --> 00:11:47,981 She has a real solid moral stance on that statue. 244 00:11:48,024 --> 00:11:49,983 - So refreshing. - [crowd cheering] 245 00:11:50,026 --> 00:11:52,899 TOWNSPERSON: Yeah. Jenny Hart will settle this stalemate. 246 00:11:52,942 --> 00:11:55,989 DAWN: Yeah, Jenny would never let sleeping dogs lie. 247 00:11:56,032 --> 00:11:58,905 No. Lord, Jenny, no. Remember the tips. 248 00:11:58,948 --> 00:12:00,907 CROWD [chanting]: Jenny! Jenny! 249 00:12:00,950 --> 00:12:03,648 Jenny! Jenny! 250 00:12:03,692 --> 00:12:05,607 Okay. [exhales] 251 00:12:05,650 --> 00:12:09,045 That statue. [chuckles] Right? 252 00:12:09,089 --> 00:12:13,528 I mean, it's, it's so, like, it's-it's there. 253 00:12:13,571 --> 00:12:15,095 You know what I mean. Whenever you're in town 254 00:12:15,138 --> 00:12:16,879 in the back of your minds you're just thinking, 255 00:12:16,923 --> 00:12:19,839 "That statue. It's there. It's still there." 256 00:12:19,882 --> 00:12:22,145 - [whoops] Yeah. - And I'm madglad. 257 00:12:22,189 --> 00:12:25,061 That statue is the whole reason I'm here, 258 00:12:25,105 --> 00:12:28,369 and why I'm so sad-cited 259 00:12:28,412 --> 00:12:33,156 for all the wrong reasons to say that it should be noted 260 00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:36,812 that in regards to the statue 261 00:12:36,856 --> 00:12:40,033 there are very strong opinions on both sides. 262 00:12:40,076 --> 00:12:41,164 [whoops] 263 00:12:41,208 --> 00:12:43,558 - Too vague! - Be specific! 264 00:12:43,601 --> 00:12:45,125 You got my head spinning! 265 00:12:45,168 --> 00:12:46,909 Well, we've all heard a lot of, uh, 266 00:12:46,953 --> 00:12:49,912 specific people say, uh, a lot of specific things, 267 00:12:49,956 --> 00:12:53,916 but the time for talking is over. 268 00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:57,093 People, it is time for action question mark? 269 00:12:57,137 --> 00:12:59,966 She's right! It's time for action exclamation point! 270 00:13:00,009 --> 00:13:03,926 - Aw, sit down, you hayseed. - I'm sick of speeches. 271 00:13:03,970 --> 00:13:06,059 They wanna destroy something important to us, 272 00:13:06,102 --> 00:13:08,931 therefore, we should destroy our hometown. 273 00:13:08,975 --> 00:13:10,585 - JENNY: What? - [cheering] 274 00:13:10,628 --> 00:13:13,022 RANDY: Yeah, babies! 275 00:13:13,066 --> 00:13:14,502 [indistinct shouting] 276 00:13:14,545 --> 00:13:17,702 Wait! No! [shouting, glass breaking] 277 00:13:17,897 --> 00:13:20,786 - [indistinct shouting] - MAYOR WEBB: Please, no. 278 00:13:23,998 --> 00:13:24,999 [fire crackling] 279 00:13:27,654 --> 00:13:31,092 I feel so bad. What a disaster. 280 00:13:31,135 --> 00:13:32,615 Well, isn't this a stinky pickle. 281 00:13:32,659 --> 00:13:35,923 What a silly old mess. Doo-do-do-doo. 282 00:13:35,966 --> 00:13:37,968 So then, uh, what's the play here? 283 00:13:38,012 --> 00:13:40,144 Finish the job, burn the place down, 284 00:13:40,188 --> 00:13:44,148 - split the insurance money? - No. Brenda, you're so silly. 285 00:13:44,192 --> 00:13:47,108 The restaurant's closed until further notice. 286 00:13:47,151 --> 00:13:50,415 Start scrubbing, y'all. Doo-do-do-doo. 287 00:13:50,459 --> 00:13:52,722 [heavenly music plays] 288 00:13:52,766 --> 00:13:56,639 - [slow clapping] - Oh, no, please. 289 00:13:56,683 --> 00:14:00,730 - Please not the sarcastic clap. - What? I'm just a slow clapper. 290 00:14:00,774 --> 00:14:03,733 2,000 years ago, this is the speed we clapped. 291 00:14:03,777 --> 00:14:06,997 But if you're feeling guilty, that's your own conscience. 292 00:14:07,041 --> 00:14:08,912 You know what? No. 293 00:14:08,956 --> 00:14:11,828 I am not gonna feel guilty about this anymore. 294 00:14:11,872 --> 00:14:13,569 I am not the problem. You know what? 295 00:14:13,613 --> 00:14:15,658 This stupid town is the problem. 296 00:14:15,702 --> 00:14:18,835 You don't think that maybe, you kind of maybe 297 00:14:18,879 --> 00:14:22,143 reaped some things that you kind of maybe sort of sowed? 298 00:14:22,186 --> 00:14:24,885 - Enjoy cleaning the toilets. - I will enjoy cleaning these toilets. 299 00:14:24,928 --> 00:14:28,236 Those toilets are gonna be clean, just like my conscience. 300 00:14:28,279 --> 00:14:29,629 - Great. - Good, then. 301 00:14:29,672 --> 00:14:30,760 - Fine. - Okay. 302 00:14:30,804 --> 00:14:32,893 - Oh, and Jenny... - What? 303 00:14:32,936 --> 00:14:33,981 Don't forget I love you. 304 00:14:34,024 --> 00:14:35,666 [groans loudly] 305 00:14:36,810 --> 00:14:40,783 - She lives in a condo now? - She gets to live in a condo? 306 00:14:41,815 --> 00:14:45,427 Oh, God. This is gonna be some boring-ass bullcrap. 307 00:14:45,470 --> 00:14:47,429 I'm starting to get angry, 308 00:14:47,472 --> 00:14:50,432 'cause two little birdies told me this was gonna be sad. 309 00:14:50,475 --> 00:14:53,696 Relax, Gram. Calm down. I-I promise you, 310 00:14:53,740 --> 00:14:56,656 she's gonna be a nightmare portrait of walking dread. 311 00:14:56,699 --> 00:14:59,656 ♪ ♪ 312 00:14:59,963 --> 00:15:04,446 - Oh, hello, Betty. - Or not. 313 00:15:04,669 --> 00:15:07,020 WAYNE: I'm definitely getting the Great Barrier Beef, 314 00:15:07,063 --> 00:15:09,196 but I can't decide if I should start 315 00:15:09,239 --> 00:15:13,026 with a Boomarang-A-Dilla or an order of Steve Irwings. 316 00:15:13,069 --> 00:15:15,115 [sighing] I don't feel like treating myself. 317 00:15:15,158 --> 00:15:17,595 I earned half that money by basically saying 318 00:15:17,639 --> 00:15:19,597 I love cigarettes and cancer. 319 00:15:19,641 --> 00:15:22,774 So... half an order of Steve Irwings? 320 00:15:22,818 --> 00:15:26,387 G'day, mates. Here's y'all's BeeGee breadsticks 321 00:15:26,430 --> 00:15:28,911 with some midnight oil for dipping. 322 00:15:28,955 --> 00:15:31,174 Wayne, I'm afraid I'm just not gonna be able 323 00:15:31,218 --> 00:15:33,785 to enjoy an authentic Australian feast. 324 00:15:33,829 --> 00:15:36,701 I know. What's the point of having all this extra money 325 00:15:36,745 --> 00:15:38,486 if we're not happy with ourselves? 326 00:15:38,529 --> 00:15:41,010 I think I speak for the restaurant when I say, 327 00:15:41,054 --> 00:15:42,664 [mimics Crocodile Dundee] That's not a life. 328 00:15:42,707 --> 00:15:46,233 - This is a life. - Now what can I get y'all? 329 00:15:46,276 --> 00:15:50,063 Nothing. I think we're just leaving. 330 00:15:50,106 --> 00:15:51,455 Crikey. 331 00:15:51,499 --> 00:15:53,675 WAYNE [normal voice]: Grab that bread, baby. 332 00:15:53,718 --> 00:15:56,025 On it. 333 00:15:56,069 --> 00:15:57,945 ♪ ♪ 334 00:15:58,128 --> 00:16:02,829 Wow, Marjune. This is really beautiful. 335 00:16:02,872 --> 00:16:05,701 Some would say not sad in the least. 336 00:16:05,745 --> 00:16:08,443 Thank you. Morris bought me this. 337 00:16:08,486 --> 00:16:10,227 He wanted me to have a place of my own. 338 00:16:10,271 --> 00:16:12,099 Please, won't you have a seat? 339 00:16:12,142 --> 00:16:16,712 Oh, no. I'm starting to think this is just a regular rich lady place. 340 00:16:16,756 --> 00:16:18,975 I'm horrified. Where are all the Victorian dolls 341 00:16:19,019 --> 00:16:21,151 - with cracked faces? - Ugh. And what is that smell? 342 00:16:21,195 --> 00:16:25,982 Oh, it's my eucalyptus soy wax candle by Joanna Gaines. 343 00:16:26,026 --> 00:16:27,767 [groans] This is not Grey Gardens. 344 00:16:27,810 --> 00:16:29,681 This is so basic "B" normal. 345 00:16:29,725 --> 00:16:31,118 It's like we bought tickets to The Conjuring 346 00:16:31,161 --> 00:16:34,034 but ended up in Crate and Barrel: The Movie. 347 00:16:34,077 --> 00:16:38,342 She also designed this distressed "Caliente" sign above my oven. 348 00:16:38,386 --> 00:16:39,604 [both screaming] 349 00:16:39,648 --> 00:16:43,913 Betty, your granddaughters have very creative minds. 350 00:16:43,957 --> 00:16:46,481 Oh, I think they were expecting you to be 351 00:16:46,524 --> 00:16:49,136 a weird, sad shut-in, but as I tried to tell them, 352 00:16:49,179 --> 00:16:51,878 you are clearly a woman who is living her best life. 353 00:16:51,921 --> 00:16:55,925 But no one ever sees you, so technically, you are a recluse. 354 00:16:55,969 --> 00:16:57,797 Oh, no. Not at all. 355 00:16:57,840 --> 00:17:01,365 Thanks to my inheritance, I travel 48 weeks a year. 356 00:17:01,409 --> 00:17:04,064 Athens, Belin, Rome... 357 00:17:04,107 --> 00:17:05,848 all the towns in Georgia that sound foreign. 358 00:17:05,892 --> 00:17:08,372 My goal is to dance on a table 359 00:17:08,416 --> 00:17:10,810 with a stranger at least once a week. 360 00:17:10,853 --> 00:17:13,551 You know, like that throw pillow says. 361 00:17:13,595 --> 00:17:15,945 [both screaming] 362 00:17:15,989 --> 00:17:18,600 [protestors shouting indistinctly] 363 00:17:18,643 --> 00:17:19,993 What a mess. 364 00:17:20,036 --> 00:17:21,864 [indistinct shouting] 365 00:17:21,908 --> 00:17:23,953 - [blowing] - [coughing] 366 00:17:23,997 --> 00:17:26,869 This stops now. Wayne, pull over. 367 00:17:26,913 --> 00:17:28,349 Everybody listen up. 368 00:17:28,392 --> 00:17:30,090 Jenny, what are you doing? 369 00:17:30,133 --> 00:17:31,961 Do you remember what happened last time you made a speech? 370 00:17:32,005 --> 00:17:33,093 Hush. This is the speech I should have made 371 00:17:33,136 --> 00:17:37,053 a long time ago. And by that I mean yesterday. 372 00:17:37,097 --> 00:17:39,012 [amplified] Citizens of Greenpoint! 373 00:17:39,055 --> 00:17:40,927 I made a mistake before. 374 00:17:40,970 --> 00:17:42,319 I-I wasn't honest, and... 375 00:17:42,363 --> 00:17:44,234 and it caused a riot; I'm sorry. 376 00:17:44,278 --> 00:17:47,934 So now I'm gonna speak from my heart. 377 00:17:47,977 --> 00:17:49,892 I am a proud, lifelong citizen 378 00:17:49,936 --> 00:17:52,329 of Greenpoint, and I have walked by this statue 379 00:17:52,373 --> 00:17:55,158 a million times, but until recently, 380 00:17:55,202 --> 00:17:56,899 I-I never thought about what it meant. 381 00:17:56,943 --> 00:17:59,989 This town may have started as Morris Culpepper's 382 00:18:00,033 --> 00:18:01,904 personal ashtray, but now it is time 383 00:18:01,948 --> 00:18:04,907 to open a window, spray some air freshener, people, 384 00:18:04,951 --> 00:18:07,170 and tear this statue down! 385 00:18:07,214 --> 00:18:09,873 What do you say? Who's with me? 386 00:18:10,260 --> 00:18:12,915 - Boo! - Your speech didn't convince us! 387 00:18:12,959 --> 00:18:14,917 Now you're too specific! 388 00:18:14,961 --> 00:18:16,919 [indistinct shouting] 389 00:18:16,963 --> 00:18:19,537 Okay, you're right. That didn't work. Drive! 390 00:18:19,585 --> 00:18:21,924 What was I thinking? Trying to make this town a better place? 391 00:18:21,968 --> 00:18:25,014 It's just pointless. I should have kept my big trap shut. 392 00:18:25,058 --> 00:18:27,060 Take me with you, babies! 393 00:18:27,103 --> 00:18:29,932 It's too much of a carnival atmosphere. 394 00:18:29,976 --> 00:18:32,014 [indistinct shouting] 395 00:18:33,907 --> 00:18:36,866 Marjune, I got to hand it to you, 396 00:18:36,910 --> 00:18:39,129 taking care of Morris in his moldy years 397 00:18:39,173 --> 00:18:40,870 really paid off for you. 398 00:18:40,914 --> 00:18:43,307 Actually, they were the best years of my life. 399 00:18:43,351 --> 00:18:45,788 Morris has been gone 20 years now, 400 00:18:45,832 --> 00:18:50,053 but sometimes I still think when I look out that window 401 00:18:50,097 --> 00:18:52,360 I'm gonna see him coming home. 402 00:18:52,403 --> 00:18:53,840 Rolling up on his Rascal scooter, 403 00:18:53,883 --> 00:18:58,105 followed by his team of no fewer than six male nurses. 404 00:18:58,148 --> 00:18:59,802 People complain about second-hand smoke, 405 00:18:59,846 --> 00:19:04,938 but I'd do anything for a lungful of Mo-Mo's fumes right now. 406 00:19:04,981 --> 00:19:08,028 Betty, I know it looks like my life is perfect, 407 00:19:08,071 --> 00:19:11,945 but I have a confession: I do get lonely sometimes. 408 00:19:11,988 --> 00:19:16,993 Oh, Lord, I do, too. Ever since Ed died. 409 00:19:19,996 --> 00:19:23,043 It would be nice to have some company for a meal, 410 00:19:23,086 --> 00:19:25,262 or one of my vacations. 411 00:19:25,306 --> 00:19:27,961 We are connected through Morris. 412 00:19:28,004 --> 00:19:30,833 Why, I can see why he was so taken with you. 413 00:19:30,877 --> 00:19:35,185 Oh, well, now... [laughs] Uh, let me think. 414 00:19:35,229 --> 00:19:37,318 We could make each other very happy. 415 00:19:37,361 --> 00:19:40,887 Well, I think we could have a very satisfying arrangement. 416 00:19:40,930 --> 00:19:43,613 ♪ ♪ 417 00:19:45,108 --> 00:19:46,849 Welp, once again, I couldn't trade 418 00:19:46,893 --> 00:19:49,330 cheap sexual favors for material gain. 419 00:19:49,373 --> 00:19:52,507 - Okay. - Now, with Ed, your granddad, 420 00:19:52,550 --> 00:19:54,074 it was different. 421 00:19:54,117 --> 00:19:55,727 Ooh, when he walked in the room 422 00:19:55,771 --> 00:19:59,340 and gave me that look... It was like, bam! 423 00:19:59,383 --> 00:20:03,083 Yep, the jets in my girl jacuzzi really kicked into high gear. 424 00:20:03,126 --> 00:20:05,346 Ew. I'm putting my earbuds in. 425 00:20:05,389 --> 00:20:09,219 This is the worst day of my life. 426 00:20:09,263 --> 00:20:11,265 [vehicle approaches] 427 00:20:13,876 --> 00:20:16,009 [motor revs] 428 00:20:16,052 --> 00:20:20,129 [tires squealing, metal creaking] 429 00:20:22,015 --> 00:20:24,104 The statue, it's gone. 430 00:20:24,147 --> 00:20:27,368 RANDY: Looks like we need a new statue... 431 00:20:27,411 --> 00:20:31,372 - a robot statue. - Dammit, Randy. No. 432 00:20:31,415 --> 00:20:33,983 [booing, shouting] 433 00:20:34,027 --> 00:20:36,296 Oh. Ow! Ah. 434 00:20:38,946 --> 00:20:41,252 Thank God there's a little bit of peace in the valley. 435 00:20:41,295 --> 00:20:42,993 I do feel bad for Randy, though. 436 00:20:43,036 --> 00:20:44,908 Yeah, but it's kind of for the best. 437 00:20:44,951 --> 00:20:47,998 Everyone's hatred for Randy brought the town back together. 438 00:20:48,041 --> 00:20:49,913 There's a GoFundMe page for his medical bills. 439 00:20:49,956 --> 00:20:51,871 - Oh, we should give to that. - I did not give. 440 00:20:51,915 --> 00:20:53,786 But I said I did on Facebook. 441 00:20:53,830 --> 00:20:55,483 - Y'all, can they track that? - Mother. 442 00:20:55,527 --> 00:20:57,790 Hey, I already did my good deed for the year. 443 00:20:57,834 --> 00:21:00,140 - Right, Wayne? - You know it. 444 00:21:00,184 --> 00:21:03,399 ♪ ♪ 445 00:21:08,845 --> 00:21:10,934 Welcome home, Mo-Mo. 446 00:21:10,977 --> 00:21:13,863 [chittering] 447 00:21:22,258 --> 00:21:25,183 sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~ 35719

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