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1
00:00:00,849 --> 00:00:02,449
[music]
2
00:00:02,450 --> 00:00:04,452
Oh, hey, Norma.
I'll take that mail.
3
00:00:04,485 --> 00:00:06,254
You better take a look
at this one.
4
00:00:06,287 --> 00:00:08,622
Your water's getting shut off
in three days.
5
00:00:08,656 --> 00:00:11,056
Damn, Norma. You're not supposed
to be reading people's mail.
6
00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:13,794
Oh, I don't read it. It's just
that when you're this late,
7
00:00:13,827 --> 00:00:15,763
they put the threats
on the outside.
8
00:00:15,796 --> 00:00:19,400
They even got a cute little cartoon
for people who don't read.
9
00:00:19,433 --> 00:00:21,402
JENNY: Oh, man, right in
the middle of her shower?
10
00:00:21,435 --> 00:00:23,938
- Okay, that's rude.
- Well, I got to keep moving
11
00:00:23,972 --> 00:00:26,807
or the government
will zap my collar. [laughs]
12
00:00:26,840 --> 00:00:28,876
- Okay, Norma. Wait, what?
- [electricity buzzes]
13
00:00:28,909 --> 00:00:30,911
[title music]
14
00:00:53,784 --> 00:00:56,786
www.facebook.com/gatonplay
15
00:00:56,787 --> 00:00:58,516
[birds and insects chirping]
16
00:00:58,789 --> 00:01:00,758
[music]
17
00:01:00,791 --> 00:01:02,961
All right, y'all, I got my
full caffeine Mountain Punch
18
00:01:02,994 --> 00:01:05,329
in my fancy cup,
aka I am now invincible
19
00:01:05,363 --> 00:01:06,964
and ready to triage these bills.
20
00:01:06,965 --> 00:01:09,633
Jenny, baby, there is nothing
I enjoy more
21
00:01:09,667 --> 00:01:12,770
than watching you hulk out
over a pile of bills.
22
00:01:12,803 --> 00:01:14,538
[chuckles] I'll never
forget our second date.
23
00:01:14,572 --> 00:01:17,608
You chugged a bottle of soda,
called up my Internet company,
24
00:01:17,641 --> 00:01:19,610
gave them a piece
of your beautiful mind,
25
00:01:19,643 --> 00:01:23,514
and got my bill cut in half.
It was so dang sexy.
26
00:01:23,547 --> 00:01:26,184
Oh, Wayne, wrangling discounts
is my love language.
27
00:01:26,217 --> 00:01:29,553
- So romantic.
- Okay, what have we got?
28
00:01:29,554 --> 00:01:31,289
"Dear Sir or Madam"?
29
00:01:31,322 --> 00:01:33,691
Don't know my name,
don't get my money. Ignore.
30
00:01:33,724 --> 00:01:35,158
You can do this, Jenny.
31
00:01:35,159 --> 00:01:38,496
You are smart, you are hot,
and you are rich.
32
00:01:38,529 --> 00:01:40,731
In every way
not measured by a bank.
33
00:01:40,764 --> 00:01:42,733
"Final Notice" from U-Storage?
34
00:01:42,734 --> 00:01:46,704
More like "U Ignoreage."
[laughs] Wait.
35
00:01:46,737 --> 00:01:48,238
We don't have a storage unit.
36
00:01:48,239 --> 00:01:50,741
BETTY:
[laughs] Jenny, get in here.
37
00:01:50,774 --> 00:01:53,577
I got to show you something good.
38
00:01:53,611 --> 00:01:56,414
This dang "me-me's" so true,
I can't stand it.
39
00:01:56,447 --> 00:01:58,827
Mother, it's "meme."
Meme.
40
00:01:58,862 --> 00:02:01,585
Look how mad Leon DiCardio is
in this me-me!
41
00:02:01,619 --> 00:02:05,589
- He's thinking about that last oriole.
- Oh, good Lord, Mother.
42
00:02:05,623 --> 00:02:07,583
Literally every other word
you just said is wrong.
43
00:02:07,607 --> 00:02:08,725
It's "meme," not "me-me."
44
00:02:08,726 --> 00:02:11,095
Um, pretty sure it's "me-me,"
45
00:02:11,129 --> 00:02:13,864
and I should know
'cause I'm the queen of me-mes.
46
00:02:13,898 --> 00:02:16,267
[sighs] Can you tell me
why in the hell
47
00:02:16,300 --> 00:02:18,269
we're getting a bill from U-Storage?
48
00:02:18,302 --> 00:02:21,572
Well, Jenny, just like
every other person in America,
49
00:02:21,605 --> 00:02:23,774
I have a secret storage unit.
50
00:02:23,807 --> 00:02:26,044
Mother, they're gonna
shut off our water.
51
00:02:26,077 --> 00:02:27,845
Say bye to that storage unit.
52
00:02:27,878 --> 00:02:29,948
March on down there
and clear out your crap, please.
53
00:02:29,981 --> 00:02:33,884
Okay, I didn't want to have to
tell you this, Nosey O'Donnell,
54
00:02:33,918 --> 00:02:37,956
but that storage unit contains
a high-dollar gold mine.
55
00:02:37,989 --> 00:02:40,091
Oh, good Lord, what have
you done? Just spill it.
56
00:02:40,124 --> 00:02:42,793
No can do.
The less you know, the better.
57
00:02:42,826 --> 00:02:47,220
Wealth changes people, and just
like Jake Nicholston says...
58
00:02:47,255 --> 00:02:49,239
[printer whirring]
59
00:02:54,713 --> 00:02:56,606
_
60
00:02:56,607 --> 00:02:58,307
Fine. I'll just go down
to U-Storage myself
61
00:02:58,311 --> 00:03:00,726
- and see what's going on.
- Go right ahead.
62
00:03:00,761 --> 00:03:02,813
Won't make any difference
without the key.
63
00:03:03,847 --> 00:03:05,783
[dryer rumbling]
64
00:03:06,817 --> 00:03:08,517
Ugh. [groans]
65
00:03:08,519 --> 00:03:10,921
Don't mind me, baby. Just need
to get to my office nook.
66
00:03:10,955 --> 00:03:12,957
Slash my bedroom,
slash art studio,
67
00:03:12,991 --> 00:03:15,259
slash pantry and general store,
68
00:03:15,293 --> 00:03:18,163
slash the junk drawer
where I sleep. Ugh.
69
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:20,218
Oh, hi, baby. I just popped
in here to yell at your gram.
70
00:03:20,253 --> 00:03:22,972
- Slash argument zone.
- Mother, you are telling me where that key is.
71
00:03:22,996 --> 00:03:25,503
Oh, no doubt it's in here,
along with everything else
72
00:03:25,536 --> 00:03:27,838
- in the entire universe.
- Oh, so sorry, sweetie.
73
00:03:27,871 --> 00:03:31,175
I feel so bad your room
is such a multipurpose space.
74
00:03:31,209 --> 00:03:33,144
[gasps] There's my
peach mango Crystal Light!
75
00:03:33,177 --> 00:03:36,614
Get your hands off that peach
mango Crystal Light. It's mine.
76
00:03:36,647 --> 00:03:38,749
Mother, there's
16 canisters here. Relax.
77
00:03:38,782 --> 00:03:42,386
- [sighs]
- Come on, Mother, let's leave Violet alone.
78
00:03:44,833 --> 00:03:47,365
[dryer buzzes loudly]
Ugh! [glass breaks]
79
00:03:47,958 --> 00:03:49,541
That's me. Laundry's done.
80
00:03:49,542 --> 00:03:51,917
Dryer's broken over at my house.
81
00:03:51,952 --> 00:03:53,363
I dried my trampoline cover
and didn't realize
82
00:03:53,364 --> 00:03:55,166
there were a bunch
of pine cones in there.
83
00:03:55,199 --> 00:03:57,768
Hey, that's a cool-looking dude.
84
00:03:57,801 --> 00:04:00,538
He looks like a badass with...
what is that?
85
00:04:00,571 --> 00:04:05,343
- A big knife or a little sword?
- Well, it's a saber, and this is Indigo
86
00:04:05,376 --> 00:04:07,211
who grew up
with mystical powers,
87
00:04:07,245 --> 00:04:09,365
and this is her origin story
where she's meeting Demos
88
00:04:09,389 --> 00:04:11,549
for the first time.
He's, like, her real dad.
89
00:04:11,582 --> 00:04:14,718
Oh, so her dad has, uh,
dragon wings?
90
00:04:14,752 --> 00:04:17,455
And what is that?
A cool-ass hoop earring?
91
00:04:17,488 --> 00:04:20,221
This is more of an idealized
proto-form of the entire
92
00:04:20,254 --> 00:04:24,162
- concept of "Father."
- Cool, cool, cool.
93
00:04:24,195 --> 00:04:26,697
[WAYNE thinking] That little girl
in the drawing is obviously Violet,
94
00:04:26,730 --> 00:04:30,634
and that idealized proto-dude
is clearly her biological dad,
95
00:04:30,668 --> 00:04:33,904
and he's got awesome proto-hair
and a kick-ass proto-jawline,
96
00:04:33,937 --> 00:04:35,739
and I'm not in here anywhere.
97
00:04:35,773 --> 00:04:38,376
Hold on. Am I a stump?
98
00:04:38,409 --> 00:04:40,678
People sit on me? [sighs]
99
00:04:40,711 --> 00:04:44,014
Wait, Wayne, how long have
you been talking to yourself?
100
00:04:44,048 --> 00:04:45,916
Should you clear your throat?
101
00:04:45,949 --> 00:04:48,386
Or make a sound like you've
been thinking or something?
102
00:04:48,419 --> 00:04:50,053
Ope-de-dope, dope, dope.
103
00:04:50,054 --> 00:04:52,590
That bought us some time.
Now, where were we?
104
00:04:52,623 --> 00:04:56,694
- Wayne? You-you okay?
- Yup.
105
00:04:56,727 --> 00:04:58,996
Hey, what's this little dealio?
106
00:04:59,029 --> 00:05:01,532
VIOLET: Oh, that's her
magical haven, Fort Indigo.
107
00:05:01,565 --> 00:05:04,602
Her father built it for her so she
could have a space all to herself.
108
00:05:04,635 --> 00:05:07,705
Before her father found her, she
was living with two hoarding trolls
109
00:05:07,738 --> 00:05:09,673
who fought constantly
over crystal lights.
110
00:05:09,707 --> 00:05:11,675
- JENNY: Mother, relax.
- BETTY: I can't relax.
111
00:05:11,709 --> 00:05:14,011
Food Lion doesn't carry
Crystal Lights anymore.
112
00:05:14,044 --> 00:05:17,047
- Hey, Vi, can I borrow these?
- Sure.
113
00:05:17,081 --> 00:05:19,049
BETTY: The lemon flavor
tastes like medicine.
114
00:05:19,083 --> 00:05:20,483
JENNY: Mother, I'm not disagreeing
115
00:05:20,484 --> 00:05:22,686
that peach mango is the best flavor!
116
00:05:24,088 --> 00:05:26,090
Now, where would that key be?
117
00:05:30,461 --> 00:05:33,063
ChapStick, bejeweled calculator,
obviously,
118
00:05:33,097 --> 00:05:35,833
random indoor rock...
wait a minute.
119
00:05:36,900 --> 00:05:38,669
Bingo.
120
00:05:39,527 --> 00:05:42,292
[music]
121
00:05:42,773 --> 00:05:45,109
Okay, let's see
what's in this gold mine.
122
00:05:48,746 --> 00:05:51,482
Oh, my Lord!
123
00:05:54,084 --> 00:05:56,787
Mother? I found your
little investment stash!
124
00:05:56,820 --> 00:06:00,023
Get your flat butt
down here right now!
125
00:06:03,695 --> 00:06:07,097
Mother, this is
your secret investment?
126
00:06:07,131 --> 00:06:08,999
You remember Hug N' Bugs.
127
00:06:09,032 --> 00:06:12,336
The collectible sensation that
swept the nation in the 1990s.
128
00:06:12,370 --> 00:06:13,970
Mother, I-I can't believe you!
129
00:06:13,971 --> 00:06:17,175
Jenny, these things are gonna be
worth a fortune someday.
130
00:06:17,208 --> 00:06:19,410
Well, it's official.
131
00:06:19,443 --> 00:06:23,247
You are one sneaky... little...
132
00:06:23,281 --> 00:06:26,327
genius!
[both laughing]
133
00:06:27,318 --> 00:06:28,818
We gonna be rich!
134
00:06:28,819 --> 00:06:30,754
Look at all this!
It's Hug N' Bug heaven!
135
00:06:30,788 --> 00:06:34,325
- It's amazing!
- Right? Do you remember the commercial?
136
00:06:34,358 --> 00:06:36,760
Do I remember the commercial?
Oh, are you kidding me?
137
00:06:36,794 --> 00:06:39,697
- Look!
- Hug N' Bugs!
138
00:06:39,730 --> 00:06:43,334
ANNOUNCER: The cuddliest
combination of current events
139
00:06:43,367 --> 00:06:45,803
and pop culture you'll ever hug!
140
00:06:45,836 --> 00:06:47,971
Sir Mix-a-Lot Hubble Telescope!
141
00:06:48,005 --> 00:06:49,773
Tamagotchi O.J. trial!
142
00:06:49,807 --> 00:06:51,975
Tonya Harding
Don't Ask, Don't Tell!
143
00:06:52,009 --> 00:06:54,378
Bagel Bites
Clinton Impeachment!
144
00:06:54,412 --> 00:06:57,615
The Rachel Haircut Magic
Johnson HIV Press Conference!
145
00:06:57,648 --> 00:07:00,651
♪ Cuddly and topical,
sometimes even tropical ♪
146
00:07:00,684 --> 00:07:04,121
♪ I got to get my hands on those
Hug N' Bugs! ♪ [kids cheering]
147
00:07:04,154 --> 00:07:05,954
Oh, I thought they stopped
making these things
148
00:07:05,987 --> 00:07:07,530
when they realized
they were flammable.
149
00:07:07,531 --> 00:07:10,163
Yes, they did. But their
combustibility just added
150
00:07:10,164 --> 00:07:12,796
to their scarcity and
made them super valuable.
151
00:07:12,830 --> 00:07:14,632
Oh, Lord, yes.
How valuable do you think?
152
00:07:14,665 --> 00:07:16,233
Come on, let's get
into those numbers.
153
00:07:16,234 --> 00:07:18,402
I honestly think we are looking at
154
00:07:18,436 --> 00:07:22,505
- 50,000 to 75,000!
- Oh, this is great.
155
00:07:22,506 --> 00:07:24,626
I think we should sell
one or two right now, you know,
156
00:07:24,659 --> 00:07:26,659
just to get out from under
this water bill problem.
157
00:07:26,683 --> 00:07:28,679
And wreck the integrity
of the collection?
158
00:07:28,712 --> 00:07:32,672
No way, Jose Canseco
Y2K Hug N' Bug.
159
00:07:35,954 --> 00:07:39,086
[music]
[thud]
160
00:07:40,858 --> 00:07:43,661
No way we can build
all this, Wayne.
161
00:07:43,694 --> 00:07:47,498
This is an impossible structure.
What is this, an eyeball window?
162
00:07:47,531 --> 00:07:51,369
And stairs that lead to nowhere?
And a-a midair gargoyle?
163
00:07:51,402 --> 00:07:53,537
- What would even hold that up?
- Dreams.
164
00:07:53,571 --> 00:07:55,839
I don't think they sell that
at the hardware store.
165
00:07:55,873 --> 00:07:57,407
Well, good,
'cause we're not buying
166
00:07:57,408 --> 00:07:58,708
anything at the hardware store.
167
00:07:58,709 --> 00:08:01,611
We're gonna build it out of
found objects from the scrapyard.
168
00:08:01,612 --> 00:08:04,081
Not gonna cost a dime.
We have to.
169
00:08:04,114 --> 00:08:05,648
Look at this comic she's writing.
170
00:08:05,649 --> 00:08:09,485
- Is that Brad Pitt?
- Worse. It's her biological dad.
171
00:08:09,487 --> 00:08:12,523
- And look over here.
- LEONARD: Oh, Lord. You're a stump?
172
00:08:12,556 --> 00:08:14,758
Yeah. Just a dumb-ass stump
173
00:08:14,792 --> 00:08:16,894
doing nothing but farting oxygen.
174
00:08:16,927 --> 00:08:19,530
- That is not good.
- Not even a full tree.
175
00:08:19,563 --> 00:08:21,932
Meanwhile, her perfect
biological dad
176
00:08:21,965 --> 00:08:23,767
built this cool little house for her.
177
00:08:23,801 --> 00:08:24,852
So guess what I'm gonna do.
178
00:08:24,853 --> 00:08:27,404
I'm gonna real-life build
this cool little house for her,
179
00:08:27,405 --> 00:08:30,708
so maybe she'll start to see me
as her father figure,
180
00:08:30,741 --> 00:08:32,743
and I'll get a better part
in her comic book.
181
00:08:32,776 --> 00:08:36,647
- That's a good idea, Wayne.
- Wrong dot com, backslash nope.
182
00:08:36,680 --> 00:08:37,981
Wayne, you're sweet, y'all,
183
00:08:37,982 --> 00:08:41,051
but you can't compete with
Violet's biological daddy.
184
00:08:41,084 --> 00:08:44,254
Violet's real dad, Don Reynolds,
is a local legend.
185
00:08:44,288 --> 00:08:47,891
Also, he owns the Triad's only
custom pool installation business.
186
00:08:47,925 --> 00:08:50,394
Oh, and don't forget about
his thick, silvery hair
187
00:08:50,428 --> 00:08:53,631
that screams, "I own a boat,"
which he does.
188
00:08:53,664 --> 00:08:56,029
Oh, hey, Leonard.
189
00:08:57,200 --> 00:09:00,304
We're building this fort
exactly the way Violet drew it.
190
00:09:02,205 --> 00:09:05,809
JENNY: Great news, Nelson Mandela
Super Soaker Hug N' Bug.
191
00:09:05,843 --> 00:09:07,176
I'm setting you free!
192
00:09:07,177 --> 00:09:09,980
Jenny, word to the wise:
be mindful of reflections.
193
00:09:10,013 --> 00:09:13,351
- What do you mean, Brenda?
- When I was selling my slow cooker,
194
00:09:13,384 --> 00:09:15,586
everyone on Craigslist
saw my cooter reflection
195
00:09:15,619 --> 00:09:17,655
in the sliding glass door.
196
00:09:18,656 --> 00:09:21,191
Well, have a good one.
197
00:09:21,224 --> 00:09:22,924
[door closes]
198
00:09:23,661 --> 00:09:25,963
Let's go... [sighs] 150.
199
00:09:25,996 --> 00:09:28,466
[heavenly music]
200
00:09:28,499 --> 00:09:31,401
Whatcha doing?
Something fun, I hope.
201
00:09:31,402 --> 00:09:32,969
Oh, Jesus, I'm so excited.
202
00:09:32,970 --> 00:09:35,205
My mother has a whole
storage unit of these gems.
203
00:09:35,238 --> 00:09:36,873
Oh, I remember these little things.
204
00:09:36,874 --> 00:09:38,307
♪ Cuddly and topical ♪
205
00:09:38,308 --> 00:09:40,143
BOTH: ♪ Sometimes even tropical ♪
206
00:09:40,177 --> 00:09:42,780
♪ Got to get my hands on those
Hug N' Bugs! ♪
207
00:09:42,813 --> 00:09:44,213
Yeah, those things were cute.
208
00:09:44,214 --> 00:09:46,054
- They're completely worthless, though.
- Nuh-uh.
209
00:09:46,078 --> 00:09:47,750
When I was a kid, someone bought
210
00:09:47,751 --> 00:09:50,220
the Jonathan Taylor Thomas
Desert Storm Hug N' Bug
211
00:09:50,253 --> 00:09:53,507
- for $6,000.
- That's because people go crazy
212
00:09:53,508 --> 00:09:54,992
for fads, and then they move on.
213
00:09:55,025 --> 00:09:56,727
I've seen them all come and go:
214
00:09:56,760 --> 00:09:58,696
leg warmers,
Pet Rocks, flappers.
215
00:09:58,729 --> 00:10:00,731
There was this thing
called the Bronze Age.
216
00:10:00,764 --> 00:10:02,633
Everyone went crazy for bronze.
217
00:10:02,666 --> 00:10:04,200
They couldn't keep it on the shelves,
218
00:10:04,201 --> 00:10:06,970
which were themselves
made of bronze.
219
00:10:07,004 --> 00:10:09,640
Couple hundred years later, bam,
everyone's all about iron.
220
00:10:09,673 --> 00:10:11,575
You couldn't give bronze away.
221
00:10:11,609 --> 00:10:14,478
It's literally synonymous
with third place now.
222
00:10:14,512 --> 00:10:16,580
And old baby shoes. So weird.
223
00:10:16,614 --> 00:10:18,849
Well, we'll just
have to agree to disagree
224
00:10:18,882 --> 00:10:20,851
because these things
are gonna sell like hotcakes.
225
00:10:20,884 --> 00:10:23,987
Hotcakes were another fad.
Now it's avocado toast.
226
00:10:24,021 --> 00:10:25,756
- [phone chimes]
- Ah!
227
00:10:25,789 --> 00:10:28,559
Yes! It sold!
Look, for a 150 bucks,
228
00:10:28,592 --> 00:10:30,092
just like I knew it would.
Woo-hoo!
229
00:10:30,093 --> 00:10:32,029
Good for you.
Sometimes I'm wrong.
230
00:10:32,062 --> 00:10:33,864
- You are?
- Never.
231
00:10:33,897 --> 00:10:35,597
[sipping]
232
00:10:37,100 --> 00:10:38,318
[website chiming musically]
233
00:10:38,319 --> 00:10:41,739
- BINH LY: Woo-hoo! You won the auction.
- Yeah!
234
00:10:41,772 --> 00:10:44,241
Oops, that fist pump cost me
my pointer and my pinkie.
235
00:10:44,274 --> 00:10:45,808
Can you give me a touch-up?
236
00:10:45,809 --> 00:10:48,446
♪ Got to get my hands,
I got to get my hands ♪
237
00:10:48,479 --> 00:10:51,915
♪ I got to get my hands on those
Hug N' Bugs ♪
238
00:10:51,949 --> 00:10:55,018
♪ Grab 'em and squeeze 'em,
squeeze 'em and grab 'em ♪
239
00:10:55,052 --> 00:10:58,288
♪ Hug 'em and love 'em,
love 'em, don't lose them ♪
240
00:10:58,321 --> 00:11:01,224
♪ Keep 'em or share 'em,
share 'em or take 'em ♪
241
00:11:01,258 --> 00:11:03,218
♪ Hide 'em or show 'em,
display 'em or throw 'em ♪
242
00:11:03,242 --> 00:11:05,629
♪ They're lots of fun
for everyone ♪
243
00:11:05,663 --> 00:11:09,099
♪ Cuddly and topical,
sometimes even tropical ♪
244
00:11:09,132 --> 00:11:11,835
♪ I got to get my hands on those
Hug N' Bugs! ♪
245
00:11:12,903 --> 00:11:14,738
[screams]
246
00:11:18,742 --> 00:11:20,276
Okay, Violet, you ready?
247
00:11:20,277 --> 00:11:24,890
Check out your new art studio!
Look familiar?
248
00:11:24,977 --> 00:11:28,552
You literally built what I drew?
Fort Indigo?
249
00:11:28,586 --> 00:11:31,755
Just nailed a few boards
together, all found objects.
250
00:11:31,789 --> 00:11:34,458
Defied the laws of physics.
[scoffs] No big whoop.
251
00:11:34,492 --> 00:11:36,727
I want to go in there
and become a full-on shut-in.
252
00:11:36,760 --> 00:11:39,899
- Yes!
- [grunts] I'm gonna get my stuff.
253
00:11:40,798 --> 00:11:42,198
WAYNE: Did you see that hug?
254
00:11:42,199 --> 00:11:45,268
That was a dad hug,
both in length and emotion.
255
00:11:45,302 --> 00:11:49,106
You just graduated from
gassy stump to warrior dad.
256
00:11:49,139 --> 00:11:51,441
She wants to stay
in that fortress forever.
257
00:11:51,475 --> 00:11:53,611
Suck on that, Don Reynolds!
258
00:11:53,644 --> 00:11:56,146
Hang on.
Is someone standing there?
259
00:11:56,179 --> 00:11:58,348
Okay, I just need to reengage
260
00:11:58,381 --> 00:12:00,784
by making another perfectly
crafted thinking sound.
261
00:12:00,818 --> 00:12:02,620
Yeep-a-doodle.
262
00:12:04,121 --> 00:12:06,823
- How we doing today?
- Greenpoint Building Inspector.
263
00:12:06,824 --> 00:12:10,160
Oh, hey. Stopped by
to admire my handiwork?
264
00:12:10,193 --> 00:12:13,096
No. I am here to tell you
that this structure
265
00:12:13,130 --> 00:12:17,000
violates every fire code,
zoning code, building code,
266
00:12:17,034 --> 00:12:20,838
- and social code we have.
- That's why I called 'em.
267
00:12:20,871 --> 00:12:22,773
Bobbie Nell,
mind your own business.
268
00:12:22,806 --> 00:12:25,709
My business went under,
and you know that!
269
00:12:25,743 --> 00:12:27,945
I called the inspector on your ass
270
00:12:27,978 --> 00:12:30,380
'cause that thing
looks like a devil church.
271
00:12:30,413 --> 00:12:32,115
Hey, shut up, Bobbie Nell!
272
00:12:32,149 --> 00:12:34,985
It's an art studio,
not a devil church.
273
00:12:35,018 --> 00:12:38,755
- Looks like a devil church to me.
- I cannot emphasize this enough.
274
00:12:38,756 --> 00:12:42,526
It is absolutely not a devil church.
275
00:12:42,560 --> 00:12:44,978
Oh, I-I wish you hadn't
been so emphatic 'cause
276
00:12:44,979 --> 00:12:47,397
there's, like, a million
special exemptions for churches,
277
00:12:47,430 --> 00:12:48,831
even devil churches,
278
00:12:48,832 --> 00:12:51,525
but since you really
slammed the door on that idea,
279
00:12:51,560 --> 00:12:53,901
it's gonna have to come down
by the end of the week.
280
00:12:53,936 --> 00:12:56,306
What? You can't tell a man what he can
281
00:12:56,307 --> 00:12:58,676
and can't do on his
girlfriend's mother's property.
282
00:12:58,709 --> 00:13:01,522
Well, if you want to appeal,
you can take it up
283
00:13:01,523 --> 00:13:03,713
with the zoning board,
but they do not take kindly
284
00:13:03,714 --> 00:13:06,383
to alternative, whimsical
structures like this.
285
00:13:06,416 --> 00:13:08,485
Oh, I will take it up with them,
286
00:13:08,518 --> 00:13:11,188
and they'll see that this is
a completely normal
287
00:13:11,221 --> 00:13:13,657
and practical structure,
no whimsy at all.
288
00:13:13,691 --> 00:13:16,193
Look at me on a dragon's tail!
289
00:13:16,226 --> 00:13:20,530
See that?
That right there is whimsy.
290
00:13:21,899 --> 00:13:24,234
♪ Investing in
my future, y'all ♪
291
00:13:24,267 --> 00:13:26,503
♪ Gonna make a mint, boy ♪
292
00:13:26,536 --> 00:13:28,271
♪ It's all happening ♪
293
00:13:28,972 --> 00:13:31,474
♪ Hug N' Bugs. ♪
294
00:13:38,481 --> 00:13:40,584
- Mother!
- Jenny?
295
00:13:40,618 --> 00:13:43,067
Hug 'N Busted.
296
00:13:46,457 --> 00:13:49,760
Sneaking in here
to steal my Hug N' Bugs.
297
00:13:49,793 --> 00:13:52,462
- Oh, you better start talking.
- You better start talking.
298
00:13:52,495 --> 00:13:54,397
Y'all, stop messing, you little Judas.
299
00:13:54,431 --> 00:13:56,466
What are you doing
with my Hug N' Bugs?
300
00:13:56,499 --> 00:13:58,535
I'm selling them so our water
doesn't get shut off.
301
00:13:58,568 --> 00:14:00,370
And wh-what the hell is that
in your hand?
302
00:14:00,403 --> 00:14:01,986
You said you weren't gonna
buy any more.
303
00:14:01,987 --> 00:14:03,139
This was a killer deal.
304
00:14:03,140 --> 00:14:07,745
Some nutso named
"hugbugofficial34!"
305
00:14:07,778 --> 00:14:10,480
was dumb enough to sell
a limited edition
306
00:14:10,513 --> 00:14:13,500
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman
Fruitopia Hug N' Bug
307
00:14:13,534 --> 00:14:15,953
to me for 150 bucks.
308
00:14:15,986 --> 00:14:20,490
Mother, I'm "hugbugofficial34!"
309
00:14:20,523 --> 00:14:24,713
Which I guess makes you
"jasonmomoafan$$"
310
00:14:24,748 --> 00:14:25,729
How do you know?
311
00:14:25,763 --> 00:14:28,732
Because you bought
that Hug N' Bug from me!
312
00:14:28,766 --> 00:14:32,879
- So you lied to me online? Which is a felony.
- Not even close.
313
00:14:32,914 --> 00:14:35,472
Well, thank you very much
for making me into a sucker.
314
00:14:35,505 --> 00:14:38,108
And all that extra money I made
was just our money.
315
00:14:38,141 --> 00:14:40,744
Oh, our water is definitely
gonna get shut off.
316
00:14:40,778 --> 00:14:43,647
Oh, please.
They can't turn water off.
317
00:14:43,648 --> 00:14:46,533
Can you turn off rain?
Can they turn off the ocean?
318
00:14:46,534 --> 00:14:50,253
What are they gonna do? Come over
and put corks in all our faucets?
319
00:14:50,287 --> 00:14:52,189
♪ R-E-X-P-A-T-E ♪
320
00:14:52,222 --> 00:14:54,191
♪ Find out what
it needs to be... ♪
321
00:14:54,224 --> 00:14:55,692
[showerhead gurgles]
322
00:14:55,693 --> 00:14:57,393
Ooh, r'uh-r'oh.
323
00:14:58,161 --> 00:15:00,130
Not gonna shut off
the water off, huh?
324
00:15:00,163 --> 00:15:02,766
Now, y'all, don't get hysterical.
325
00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:04,768
No, Mother.
I am gonna get hysterical.
326
00:15:04,802 --> 00:15:07,604
We have no water, Violet's
got school in the morning,
327
00:15:07,637 --> 00:15:11,141
and I'm gonna have to remove
this mask with Diet Dr. Mister!
328
00:15:11,304 --> 00:15:14,607
MAYOR WEBB: Since adding cat boxes
to your windows would increase
329
00:15:14,641 --> 00:15:16,910
the square footage of your residence,
330
00:15:16,944 --> 00:15:20,313
I'm afraid we're gonna
have to deny your permit.
331
00:15:20,347 --> 00:15:23,750
But Ozzy Pawsbourne
needs his sunshine!
332
00:15:23,783 --> 00:15:26,920
He has seasonal
affective disorder, babies.
333
00:15:26,954 --> 00:15:28,922
Well, then you
and Ozzy Pawsbourne
334
00:15:28,956 --> 00:15:31,291
should've read the dang code.
335
00:15:31,324 --> 00:15:33,724
- Randy, get out of here!
- That's enough, Randy! [gavel taps]
336
00:15:33,748 --> 00:15:36,096
All right, next up, a non-permitted,
337
00:15:36,129 --> 00:15:40,267
Tim Burton-esque structure
made of found objects.
338
00:15:40,300 --> 00:15:42,140
Look, I don't even know
why we're hearing this.
339
00:15:42,173 --> 00:15:43,441
Should we all just get lunch?
340
00:15:43,442 --> 00:15:46,439
We all want Thai.
Thai? Thai? Thai?
341
00:15:46,473 --> 00:15:48,775
Thai? Thai? Thai?
342
00:15:48,808 --> 00:15:51,644
- Thai?
- Is the juice place off the table?
343
00:15:51,678 --> 00:15:53,646
For lunch? Denise!
344
00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:56,984
We get it. You're vegan.
You can find some at the Thai place.
345
00:15:57,017 --> 00:15:58,818
Come on, let's just deny this
and move on.
346
00:15:58,852 --> 00:16:00,219
Wait, hang on a second.
347
00:16:00,220 --> 00:16:01,989
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
348
00:16:02,022 --> 00:16:04,858
I may not have followed
all the rules and regulations
349
00:16:04,892 --> 00:16:06,894
when I built this structure,
350
00:16:06,927 --> 00:16:09,997
but some zones
can't be contained by city laws.
351
00:16:10,030 --> 00:16:12,799
I'm talking about
this zone right here.
352
00:16:12,832 --> 00:16:14,902
He means his nipple, baby!
353
00:16:14,935 --> 00:16:17,095
- Randy! That's not what he meant.
- Randy, come on, man.
354
00:16:17,119 --> 00:16:18,770
No. My heart.
355
00:16:18,771 --> 00:16:21,975
This structure is for
my girlfriend's daughter Violet.
356
00:16:22,009 --> 00:16:24,811
She loves that studio,
and I love her
357
00:16:24,844 --> 00:16:27,747
and will do anything in my power
to make her happy.
358
00:16:27,780 --> 00:16:29,415
Now, her father, Don Reynolds,
359
00:16:29,416 --> 00:16:32,300
- may be rich and handsome...
- Great guy!
360
00:16:32,335 --> 00:16:34,554
I mean, he's got that
successful pool business.
361
00:16:34,587 --> 00:16:37,824
Oh, he installed my pool.
Did a great job.
362
00:16:37,857 --> 00:16:39,927
Denied.
[gavel bangs]
363
00:16:39,960 --> 00:16:44,397
Sorry about that, Wayne, but say
hey to Don for us, won't you?
364
00:16:44,431 --> 00:16:46,266
Who's ready for Thai?
365
00:16:46,299 --> 00:16:47,999
- Thai? Thai?
- [Denise groans]
366
00:16:51,704 --> 00:16:52,704
[pops]
367
00:16:52,705 --> 00:16:57,110
We can't turn your water back on
because your payment bounced.
368
00:16:57,144 --> 00:17:00,013
Well, what if we paid you
369
00:17:00,047 --> 00:17:02,849
with something that's
even better than money?
370
00:17:02,882 --> 00:17:06,119
JENNY: This is an authentic Colin
Powell Macarena Hug N' Bug.
371
00:17:06,153 --> 00:17:09,122
- Mint condition.
- Original tag.
372
00:17:09,156 --> 00:17:12,653
[singsongy]
Certificate of authenticity.
373
00:17:12,654 --> 00:17:13,701
[pops]
374
00:17:14,962 --> 00:17:17,364
Okay, I get it.
You can't say the words.
375
00:17:17,397 --> 00:17:22,569
I'll just leave this here,
and now we are turning around,
376
00:17:22,602 --> 00:17:27,274
and now we're turning
back around, and...
377
00:17:27,307 --> 00:17:29,542
And the Hug N' Bug is still there.
378
00:17:29,576 --> 00:17:32,312
Mm, let me show y'all
something, okay?
379
00:17:34,147 --> 00:17:36,649
Axl Rose Budweiser Frogs.
380
00:17:36,683 --> 00:17:39,086
The one that was accidentally
made with two bandanas?
381
00:17:39,119 --> 00:17:41,054
[gasps]
Oh, that one is ultra rare.
382
00:17:41,088 --> 00:17:43,823
The Bug-head who owns this
is gonna make a mint.
383
00:17:43,856 --> 00:17:45,993
Mm-mm, no.
That's my listing.
384
00:17:46,026 --> 00:17:49,096
I had that thing up there for
five years, and not one bite.
385
00:17:49,129 --> 00:17:51,331
Mother, did anyone
ever bid against you?
386
00:17:51,364 --> 00:17:52,864
No, no one.
387
00:17:52,865 --> 00:17:56,336
Oh, shoot, y'all.
I see what happened.
388
00:17:56,369 --> 00:17:58,972
This is one of those classic
"I wasted all our money
389
00:17:59,006 --> 00:18:01,741
on worthless, flammable toys"
situations.
390
00:18:01,774 --> 00:18:03,474
Classic.
391
00:18:06,779 --> 00:18:08,147
I know you can't give me cash,
392
00:18:08,148 --> 00:18:10,650
so maybe you can just
do me this one solid?
393
00:18:10,683 --> 00:18:12,819
I'm sorry, Jenny,
it just doesn't work that way.
394
00:18:12,852 --> 00:18:14,587
I can only turn water into wine.
395
00:18:14,621 --> 00:18:16,356
I can't do it
the other way around.
396
00:18:16,389 --> 00:18:18,057
And besides,
this box is half-empty,
397
00:18:18,058 --> 00:18:19,625
and this one isn't even wine.
398
00:18:19,626 --> 00:18:21,060
It's a rosé-flavored vodka.
399
00:18:21,061 --> 00:18:24,663
Well, can you help me out at all?
I know the answer's no.
400
00:18:24,664 --> 00:18:29,536
[singsongy] All I can say is
I work in mysterious ways.
401
00:18:29,569 --> 00:18:32,439
- Wait, so you'll help me?
- [singsongy] Who knows?
402
00:18:32,472 --> 00:18:35,808
- Well, that sounds like a yes.
- [singsongy] Or it could be a no.
403
00:18:35,842 --> 00:18:38,311
Well, see, you can't singsong
like that unless it's a yes.
404
00:18:38,345 --> 00:18:41,448
[singsongy]
Not necessarily.
405
00:18:41,481 --> 00:18:42,914
Okay, God,
this is really annoying.
406
00:18:42,915 --> 00:18:45,875
[singsongy]
Or is it mysterious fun?
407
00:18:45,910 --> 00:18:47,551
[groans]
408
00:18:47,820 --> 00:18:50,190
VIOLET: So this whole
thing has to come down?
409
00:18:50,223 --> 00:18:53,693
I'm sorry, Violet.
I really whiffed it with this project.
410
00:18:53,726 --> 00:18:55,962
I freaked out
after I read your comic and...
411
00:18:55,995 --> 00:18:58,831
I wanted you to see that
I could be a Brad Pitt Demos guy
412
00:18:58,865 --> 00:19:01,134
and not just a farty old stump.
413
00:19:01,168 --> 00:19:04,003
Oh, Wayne. You didn't finish
reading the whole thing.
414
00:19:04,037 --> 00:19:07,707
Demos gets banished into
another dimension on page four
415
00:19:07,740 --> 00:19:11,010
and Fort Indigo blows up,
but not before your stump grows
416
00:19:11,044 --> 00:19:14,281
into a tree that saves Indigo
and helps her find her way home.
417
00:19:15,948 --> 00:19:19,917
- [sniffles softly] Aw.
- O-kay.
418
00:19:19,952 --> 00:19:22,021
Going over to Bobbie Nell's
to try and trade these Bugs
419
00:19:22,055 --> 00:19:23,856
for ten minutes of hose water.
420
00:19:23,890 --> 00:19:25,992
Tell her not to smoke
around those things.
421
00:19:26,025 --> 00:19:28,495
They will full-on bust into flames.
422
00:19:28,528 --> 00:19:31,842
Wayne, you just gave me
a great idea.
423
00:19:34,701 --> 00:19:37,704
- Gram, want to do the honors?
- You bet your butt I do.
424
00:19:44,911 --> 00:19:47,214
- [phone chimes]
- Oh, my Lord.
425
00:19:47,247 --> 00:19:49,367
There's a bid on the Colin
Powell Macarena Hug N' Bug.
426
00:19:49,391 --> 00:19:52,118
- $600? Mother?
- It's not me.
427
00:19:52,119 --> 00:19:53,886
JENNY: Well, we got
to put that fire out!
428
00:19:53,920 --> 00:19:55,387
We don't have any water.
429
00:19:55,388 --> 00:19:58,457
WAYNE: Wayne, you should get your
ass in there and save the day.
430
00:19:58,458 --> 00:20:01,027
Wait. How long have I been
thinking again?
431
00:20:01,060 --> 00:20:02,760
- Doodily doopski.
- What?
432
00:20:02,762 --> 00:20:04,464
- I'm going in.
- No! Wayne!
433
00:20:04,497 --> 00:20:06,197
- Don't!
- It's too dangerous.
434
00:20:07,066 --> 00:20:10,870
Be careful, Wayne!
Oh, be careful.
435
00:20:10,903 --> 00:20:14,386
[dramatic music]
436
00:20:15,908 --> 00:20:17,608
- [cheering]
- Yeah! Yeah, yeah!
437
00:20:21,948 --> 00:20:24,548
[whooping] [fireworks whistling, popping]
BETTY: Oh, beautiful!
438
00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:29,588
- Okay. Everybody ready?
- Mm-hmm.
439
00:20:29,589 --> 00:20:34,427
- Yep, y'all.
- One, two, let it flow!
440
00:20:34,461 --> 00:20:36,161
[whoops]
441
00:20:36,863 --> 00:20:38,931
Water, I could kiss you.
442
00:20:38,965 --> 00:20:43,136
Jason Momoa as my witness,
I will never turn this water off.
443
00:20:43,170 --> 00:20:44,836
I'm gonna take
a four-hour shower.
444
00:20:44,837 --> 00:20:46,138
Someone time me.
445
00:20:46,139 --> 00:20:47,606
Okay, I'm gonna flush
one more time,
446
00:20:47,607 --> 00:20:49,141
and then we really
got to quit playing,
447
00:20:49,142 --> 00:20:51,262
'cause we do not want to run up
this water bill again.
448
00:20:51,286 --> 00:20:53,780
Did we ever find out who
bought that one Hug N' Bug?
449
00:20:53,813 --> 00:20:57,750
I have no idea, but thank you,
"four-star-baller69?"
450
00:20:57,784 --> 00:20:59,017
[chuckles]
451
00:20:59,018 --> 00:21:00,920
[sighs] Whoever you are.
452
00:21:00,953 --> 00:21:04,230
[upbeat march music playing]
453
00:21:05,725 --> 00:21:09,995
WOMAN: Colin, Colin, stop admiring
your collection and come to dinner!
454
00:21:09,996 --> 00:21:11,696
In a minute.
455
00:21:12,899 --> 00:21:15,768
You've seen some real action,
my friend.
456
00:21:15,802 --> 00:21:18,838
But you're home now.
No Bug left behind.
457
00:21:18,871 --> 00:21:23,901
[upbeat march version
of "Macarena" playing]
458
00:21:26,313 --> 00:21:28,013
[music ends]
459
00:21:30,983 --> 00:21:32,985
- [meows]
- [horn honks musically]
460
00:21:33,833 --> 00:21:37,022
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