All language subtitles for Beauty.And.The.Briefcase.2010

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Lo-oh-oh-ove
Lo-oh-oh-ove

Love you more
More than ever

So you're
Shining waiting

And we will wake
l n the starlight

Girl if you try to
Love him any harder oh

( woman )
Nine million guys
in New York City,

you'd think there'd
be one for me to date.
You'd be wrong.

To start off, most
of the good ones
are taken.

Then there's the
criminal contention.

Let's go.

The guys with the serious
psychological issues.

The weirdos.

Yeah.

The bastards.

And then the guys
in fashion, which
is my world.

They do wonders
for my wardrobe,

but they do nothing
to help me find
my magic man.

Where is the one?

Hey, Joanne.

Lane. What's up?

WeII, not
one guy today.

Not one guy
that possesses one
quaIity on my checkIist.

Oh, my God.
The checkIist again?

I've toId you. You need
to use my checkIist.
It's way more fun.

I know.
Can you remind me
what yours is again?

With pIeasure.
Item one, breathing.
aIways important in a guy.

And items two
through seven, cute.

If onIy Iove was
that simpIe.

Come, heIp me.

( Lane )
Joanne is a
fashion photographer

who thinks she's my big
sister. She tries to hook
me up with cute guys,

but, more importantIy,
she hooked me up
with cheap rent.

Ah

Gotta love it.

Oh, hey, I'm going
out tonight,

and his roommate
is crazy cute.
You wanna join?

Sh. Not in front
of the Cosmo.

Hey!

l'm a writer.
Oh, l love the
way that sounds.

Oh, my God.
Actually, everyone loves
the way that sounds,

and then they
ask me what l write.

So far, it's been articles
for my college paper and
a few fashion blogs.

But last month, l wrote a
freelance piece on shoes
for Her StyIe.

l got published in
a national magazine.

Okay, so it's barely
a national magazine,
but it's a stepping stone

and they want
another story.

Those are nice fIowers.
Your birthday?

No. The doorman
sends them to me
every Monday

for four years now.
Can you bIame him?

She gets flowers
and l don't?

So, you wiII be doing the
interview of AIicia McCuIIen,
the party pIanner.

U h, cooI.
You know, I was
thinking after that

that maybe I couId do
a story on statement
coats, because--

J ust do the interview
of the party pIanner.

Yeah. Sure.

So, what is this for again?
ls it For Her magazine
or something?

It's actuaIIy Her StyIe.

Never heard of it.

You wiII. After this
story, I'm sure we'II
doubIe in circuIation.

FIattery wiII
get you everywhere.

Thank you.

So, um, the story
that l wanted to write

is about fashion
trends for the eIite.

Oh, weII.

CompIiments
of the house.

You never
forget, do you?

No, ma'am.

Do they just
bring you champagne
when you come here?

My boyfriend
Rodrigo took me here
on our first date.

He's friends
with the owner

and he expIained
to him that he wanted
champagne sent to me

every time I come here
so that I wouId aIways
think of him.

That is so romantic.

M m, I know.

I've aIways dated
rich, hot guys,
but this one,

he just Ieaves
me breathIess.

I think the most
romantic thing he's
ever done is he, uh,

mid-match at WimbIedon,
he bIew me a kiss.

Are you speaking
of Rodrigo Navarro,

Iike, the tennis champion?

That's my
boyfriend. I know.

( Lane )
l know l should
be happy for her.

l mean, just because
l can't find my magic
man doesn't mean that--

[singing in Spanish]

[bell dings]

( Lane )
You have got to
be kidding me.

My beautifuI
angel AIicia.

[bell dings]

l've been thinking
of you all day.

How wouId you
Iike to head down
to St. Barts this weekend?

[bell dings]

I'd Iove to.

Okay, can you stop
torturing me?

Did I say that out
Ioud? I'm sorry.

[camera clicking]

Okay, that's good.
All right, guys,
l want you

to, Iike,
Iay back in a
warm embrace. Good.

This shot, it needs
to be sexy but
not sexuaI.

And it needs to say
'' I Iove you'' but not
'' I'm in Iove with you. ''

And I want you
to be happy.
Not overjoyed.

Okay.

U m, wait. Okay,
take five, guys.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
You yeIIed at her in the
middIe of a restaurant?

It was not the middIe
of the restaurant, okay?

It was towards the back,
facing a window,

and second of aII,
I didn't yeII at her.

It was--
It was more
of a bIurt.

I-I bIurted at her.

I couIdn't heIp it.
She was being serenaded

by her famous
tennis-star boyfr--

Her gorgeous, famous,
tennis-star boyfriend

who has a foreign accent,
and whisks her away
to exotic pIaces,

and has passion and has
the cutest IittIe dimpIes
you have ever seen.

I have to add that
onto my checkIist.

Lane. Stop it.

She has Rodrigo,
and what do I have?

You have a pitch
meeting tomorrow.

At a IittIe magazine
caIIed, um, Cosmo.

What? Cosmo?
The greatest--

Magazine of aII time?

Oh, my God. Your
friend caIIed you
back? Are you serious?

I'm serious!

Joanne, you're the
greatest friend !
Oh, my God !

Hey! I just got
a pitch meeting

at Cosmo. Yeah.

( Lane )
So, this is what
heaven looks like.

It's a beautifuI
buiIding, isn't it?

l love this crosswalk.

lt's taking me
towards my future,
towards my dreams,

towards the Cosmo editor
who is not only going to
buy one of my stories,

but she's gonna
be blown away by--

Whoa. Are you
aII right?

(photographer)
All right, just
the legs.

Turn Ieft. Let's
get the side.

I'm pitching a story
to Kate at Cosmo.

ReaIIy?

H i, I'm Kate White.
You must be Lane.

Yeah.

Very nice to meet you.
Won't you foIIow me?

Okay.

How about wearing
boyfriend jeans when
you don't have a boyfriend?

I mean, fabuIous
or faux pas?

[chuckIes]

WeII, thank you so much
for coming in, Lane.

How about a story
on statement coats?
I think this season--

I'm so sorry, Lane.

I Iiked your piece
for For Her magazine
and I Iove your enthusiasm,

but unfortunateIy
at this time, we're
gonna pass.

What if l just
write something
for you on spec and--

I'm so sorry, Lane.
I wish I couId've
heIped you.

Me, too. WeII, I guess
I'm gonna rush home

and cuddIe up to
my imaginary boyfriend.

You're preaching to
the choir. I know that
feeIing aII too weII.

I doubt that,
but thanks for
saying it anyway.

U h, don't
be so sure.

I just got
dumped via B BM .

What?

He didn't even have
the decency to emaiI
me Iike the Iast guy.

Were you into him?

I mean, he was straight,
he opened doors for me

and didn't Iive with
his mother. I haven't
met anybody better since.

My girIfriend and I were
just taIking about that.

I mean, fashion is great,
but there's no databIe
guys anywhere.

I haven't even found
a guy with two items
on my checkIist.

I have a checkIist, too.
Each year I don't find
the man of my dreams,

I take another
item off the Iist.

Pretty soon, that Iist
is gonna just be a bIank
piece of paper.

And you can't cuddIe up
to a gift bag. I've tried.
It's reaIIy uncomfortabIe.

You know what? It's
aImost Iike aII of the
eIigibIe guys in the city

are hiding out in offices
downtown or something.

Business schooI wouId've been
boring, but at Ieast by now
we wouId've had some guy--

Wait. There's
a story here.

Joining the business
worId to find Iove.

If you're gonna do this,
you're gonna do this
aII the way.

( Lane )
Oh, my God.
Cosmo wants me.

You're gonna switch careers,
you're going into the worId
of business

and you're gonna
take your Iist with you.

Switch careers,
bring my Iist.

Once you have
a job undercover
in the business worId,

you are gonna
find a man that has
every item on that Iist.

The magic man.

It's gonna be
a great story.

l'm undercover. l'll be like
that girl who pretended
to be Playboy bunny.

You'II be Iike
Woodward and Bernstein.

Yes, yes! Or Iike
that girI who--

I'm taking a chance
on you, Lane,

so I don't want
you saying yes unIess
you can reaIIy puII this off.

You have to get a reaI
business job and you have
to date men in suits.

Yeah, it'II be
my new mantra.

''Men in suits.
Men in suits. ''

Lane.

Yeah. Sorry.

You can date
no one else.

Nobody.

Remember,
this is Cosmo.

I know.

[whispers]
I know.

( Lane )
This story is going
to make Lane Daniels.

l'll work at some
huge investment bank,

meet a gorgeous,
suit-wearing guy and
fall madly in love.

l'm writing my first
article for Cosmo. How
did l get so lucky?

Lane DanieIs.

Oh. Yes, that's me.

You're Lane DanieIs?

Yeah.

You have a very
impressive resume.

l've never understood resumes.
They're just a contest to see
who can lie the most.

FIuent in French,
Spanish, German.

Oui. Si. Ja.

And you're proficient
in ExceI and Powerpoint.

Basic business tooIs.
Gotta Iove 'em.

Oh, l just wanna kiss
the guy who invented Google.
l wonder if he wears a suit.

WeII, today's interview
is for a support position

in corporate
strategic pIanning
at Thompson FuIworth.

WeII, as Iong as it's a
businessy-type job where
the guys wear suits.

For a second,
I thought you
were serious.

GirI, you had me going.

WeII, you know what they say,
'' H umor pIus business makes
for funny business. ''

GirI, you funny.

Tom Reinhart,
Managing Director,

meet Lane DanieIs.

N ice to meet you.
PIease, have a seat.

- Is this recycIed paper?
- Yeah.

Very nice. You are more than
quaIified. Have you worked in
corporate strategic pIanning?

Of course.
I've worked
in aII three.

Her sense of humor.
You'll get used to it.

( Lane )
l'm great
with interviews.

l do this for a living.
l'm going to wow this guy

with my knowledge
of the business world.

Or maybe just compliment
him. And if l run
into any trouble,

I'II just start
asking him questions.

And have you used
deaI Reporter?

DeaI Reporter.

The deaI Reporter?
It's a great question, Tom.

It's such a managing
director's question.

That's a great tie.

Now, did you
aIways know you wanted
to be in business?

Oh, aIways.
How about you?

How about I what?

AIways wanted
to go into business?

Oh, of course.

I Iove the way peopIe
Iook aII dressed up.

I think I'm beginning
to get that sense of humor.

I toId you.

I hope the saIary
works for you. We'II
start you at 4 2.

Forty-two thousand?

Yeah, I can
Iive with that.

( Lane )
Like a queen.

We have a deaI.
We'II see you Monday
morning at 8: 30.

I can't wait.

Thanks. She'II
be great.

Good seeing you, Tom.

That was easy enough.
Hey, thanks for
hooking me up.

U h-uh, not so fast.
We stiII need to get
you tested on the software.

Click once to begin.
Good luck.

[mouse clicks]

( Lane )
So, this is what
deal Reporter looks like.

This is very bad.

[whispering]
Hey. Hey, you've
got to heIp me.

I couId get you free
Laura Merceir sampIes.

[whispering]
Can you pIease be quiet?

Hey, you Iike these shoes?
'Cause I can teII you where
to get them on saIe.

I'm not gonna
heIp you cheat.

Oh, she's so helpful.

Oh, that's not right.

[beeping]

Oh, that's not right.
Go back. Go back.

God ! You stupid
thing. Come on.

Sh !

WeII, how do
I go back?

You can't. You either know
this stuff or you don't.
And my guess is you don't.

Somebody has
Iow bIood sugar.

Here, have some candy.

I don't eat sugar.

H m.
[siIent]

[beeping]

l can't fail this test.

[coughing]

Ooh.

[crackles]

Oh.

[people groan]

Oops.

It's too bad
about those Iights.
I was naiIing that test.

How about you?

We don't have time
to retest you
before Monday,

but you swear that you
trained in aII the financiaI
software we taIked about?

Oh, deaI Reporter
is my middIe name.

AII right.

( women )
Yeah l

Thank you
guys so much.

I gotta say
I'm so nervous
about tomorrow.

I'm waIking into a
job at an investment
company. Me.

I don't know the first
thing about investing.

Sure you do.
You know fashion, right?

Yeah, but what does
that have to do--

You know how
the spring coIIection
is introduced in the faII

and the best designers
know what is gonna seII
months ahead of time?

Yeah. I mean,
I've been tracking
those trends for years.

ExactIy. So, you
just repIace the
shoes and dresses

with stocks and companies
and it's aII about predicting
trends, what peopIe wanna buy.

Whoa. That's impressive.

That is seIfish, actuaIIy,
because I figure the more
I heIp you,

the sooner you become
a big writer for Cosmo,

the more assignments l
get. Let's not forget.
AII about me.

But I want it
to be aII about me.

Wait a minute.
I thought it was
aII about me.

M m, you're right.
It is, because we
got you

a present for
your first day.

Get outta here.

We were gonna get
you a gorgeous C E O,

but most of them are either
in jail or getting government
bailouts, so.

lf you're going
to play the part,
you need to look the part.

This is amazing.
Are you serious?
Thank you so much.

To our future C E O.

To our future C E O.

[cars honking]

( Lane )
All right, Lane.
This is your moment.

Seize it.

( Lane )
Oh, my God.

So many men.

And l get my pick.

Men with ties.
Men without ties.

Men with ties tossed
over their shoulders.
Tall men. Short men.

Men with glasses. Men without
glasses. Men standing,
sitting, walking, running,

bending over
to pick things up.
Blind men. Strong men.

Gorgeous men.
Two-piece. Three-piece.

ls there a
four-piece?
Who cares?

So many men in suitsl

l just got hired by
Cosmo, the world's
greatest magazine,

to go undercover and
date hot men in suits.

Does it get any
better than this?

[cell phone rings]

How's it going?

I never understood
the phrase ''kid in a
candy store'' untiI today.

Lots of men
in suits?

Joanne, thank you so
much for setting this up.

Hey, l just made a couple
of calls. You're the one who
has to write the article.

You know, the business
worId Iooks a Iot Iike
heaven to me.

Heaven in a tie.

Yum.

M iss DanieIs.

I'II caII
you in five.

Ah. Time is money.

H i, I'm Lane.

H i, John.
I'm part of the team.
You, me and Tom.

Oh. I'm a part
of a team?

Yeah, Iike in junior
high. BasketbaII.

Except I was kicked
off the team.

Anyway, uh, so you're gonna
be handIing Tom's traveI,
caIendar, expenses.

l'm part of a team. l hope
the uniforms are cute.

Paperwork and, uh,
profit research
and everything.

Come on, Iet's, uh,
go get your I . D.

Great.

If you Iike that I . D. ,
you're gonna Iove
the cubicIe.

Oh. I get my
own cubicIe?

First thing in the morning.
J ust give them to Jack.

Hey, Tom.
Hey, how's it going?

Fine. How are you?

Great. Everything's great.

You Iook nice.

Thanks.
So do you.

Do l recognize
that shirt from
the interview?

U h, no, you recognize
its brother or sister.

lt's the same shirt but not
the exact same. You see,
l have a number of these,

the same but not
the same same.

Got it.
Different shirt.

Well, it's nice.
l can see why you
bought two of them.

ActuaIIy, I bought six.
One for each day of
the week and--

And a spare
for laundry day.
lt's a great idea.

Let's start the tour.

The department downstairs makes
modeIs that study economic
trends. They forecast--

What peopIe
are gonna buy?
Like fashion designers.

Yeah, I guess it is.

A reaIIy great idea.

They're a pretty good
department. Sometimes when we
have concerns after a merger

or a major consoIidation,
these guys make sure

that the company has a
reaIIy easy transition
in the next phase.

The past coupIe years
have been a IittIe crazy.

l've always found it
boring when guys talk
about business,

but Tom makes it
kind of interesting.

Six shirts all
the same. Weird.

And this department
manages our hedge funds.

l nod a lot and act
impressed as l survey
the men-in-suits situation.

As unbelievable
as it sounds,

the majority of guys
here are single.

No photos of families
or crayon drawings
from their kids.

And as if it couldn't
get any better,

the few women here,
they're not even trying.

So, what do you think?

There are so many men.

That's what they aII say.
But after a whiIe, you
hardIy notice.

This is your desk.

Oh ! I Iove it!

Okay. WeII,
happy birthday.

Oh, this chair
is perfect.

My own cubicle.
lt's paradise.

Okay, weII, enjoy your chair.
I wiII be in my office which
is right over here.

Sure.

Why doesn't
my chair spin?

Does your chair spin?

( man )
Yeah.

Yes?

( man )
Yep.

[phone rings]

StiII going weII?

Yes. I have a swanky
new cubicIe, Joanne.

I'm on my work phone
being aII businessy.

I'm Iike Anne Hathaway
in The Devil Wears Prada.

l hope my boss
isn't evil. But now
all l have to do--

[clears throat]

Is to coIIate
and distribute
the documents

and I'II check
back in with you.

Here you go.

Thompson & FuIworth
has secret handshakes?

No, they're
hand signals.

Our traders use
them on the floor
but l adapted them.

You and I can gesture without
having to worry about noise
or using another Iine.

lt's more efficient.
Like, conference call,
l'm leaving the office,

I'II return
the caII Iater.

And that means okay.

I'II Iearn these
right away.

Okay, this is a Iist
of frequent caIIers.

This group, apoIogize,
I'm in a meeting.

This group, put them into
the queue. And these two, you
put them through right away.

It's the C E O
and my mom.

That means I'm on it.

[sighs]

Oh, my God.

What?

More men.

What's good here?

I'm not reaIIy the guy
to ask. I get the same
thing every day.

Every day?
What is it?

Chicken breast with waInuts
and pIain yogurt. This meaI
boosts neurotransmitters,

baIances omega acids and
I don't have to waste time
deciding what I want to eat.

WeII, how
does it taste?

Let me guess.
Efficient.

AII right, smartass.
Tour's over.

Where are you going?

Back to my office.
I aIways eat up there--

It's a more efficient
use of your time?

You catch on quick.

[whispers]
Okay.

No. No, no!

Oh, God,
you stupid--
Come on.

Don't you know what
you're supposed to do
when the copier breaks?

[bell dings]

What's that?

Run away.

I'm serious. Otherwise everyone
wiII know you're the Ioser who
couIdn't fix the copier.

Right. And who's
the Ioser who currentIy
hoIds that position here?

Danny GoId in Accounting.
Three months running.

But, since you're
new, I'II heIp you.

Step aside.

For the record though,
I was never here.

We never met
and I have no idea
how to use this thing.

Got it.
I'm Lane,
by the way.

Hey, Lane.
I'm Seth.

l normally don't
like guys who know
they're cute,

but Seth's
really cute.

This never happened.

I saw nothing.
Yum's the word.

[sighs]
M um's the word.
Oh, God. Stupid.

Good morning.

This place is crawling
with potential magic men.

Once they start asking
me out, l can write this
article in a week.

Lane, what's this?

A diagram.
An office diagram

to show the key
empIoyees, so I can
better serve you.

WeII, you're just fuII
of surprises, aren't you?

I doubIe-checked your
8: 00 p. m. reservation.
Is Whitney a cIient?

No, she's my girIfriend.
It's Monday night.
It's date night.

Hey, Whitney, come here.
I want you to meet my
new assistant, Lane.

Eekl Draggy nailsl

PIeasure.

Ugh, bird grab.

Charmed.

Tom, I'm starving.
Can we pIease go now?

Okay, hon.
WeII, I'II see
you in the morning.

Okay.

Night, John.

H i, John.

Weird handshake, huh?

Did it feeI Iike
a predatory bird?

Can't decide
if I Iike it or not.

Lane, right?
Hi, l'm Eddie.

WeIcome to Thompson
& FuIworth.

I was wondering
if you couId grab a drink
with me tomorrow night?

I wouId Iove to.

They're drawn to me
like moths to a flame.

l'm the best undercover
journalist in the history
of the world.

Hey, go aIready.
It's your turn.

I'm thinking.
I'm thinking.

Are you thinking
or fantasizing?

Okay, Okay. Do you
have one phenomenaIIy
tanned six-pack?

I do have
one phenomenaIIy
tanned six-pack.

Yes! How about
super hot guy
in a toweI?

Go fish.

Okay, do you have a
perfectIy shaped butt?

You know l do.

I n your hand.

Oh, I have that, too.
Okay, okay, it's
my turn.

Do you have one
rocking set of abs?

I do.

Oh, Ian.
Now, that's a six-pack
I'd Iike to forget.

You know who that is?

You can't even
see his face.

Don't need to.
l remember that body.

Joanne, you work
with these hot guys
every day aII day.

How do I get your job?

I don't know how
M r. Six-pack wouId
fare on the checkIist.

She has that checkIist
to heIp her find
her souI mate.

Where did this
Iist come from?

Every romantic comedy
Lane's ever watched.

That's not true.

Okay, it's mostIy true.

I just want to
find my magic man.

Magic man.
She thinks that a guy
is gonna solve everything.

I don't think it's gonna
soIve everything. I just
wanna meet a guy

that, you know,
I'm happy to wake
up to every morning

and that makes
time drift away.

I want aII
of those things.

And if he happens to have
a perfect set of abs,
I'II take that, too.

I don't bIame you.

Order one for me.

To butts and abs.

( aII)
To butts and abs.

WeIcome to day
two, Ab Fab.

Ab Fab?

Yeah, I was just trying out
a new nickname for you.
You Iike fashion.

That's a show about
fashion, right?

That is so much better than
my college nickname, ''Lame. ''

You ever had
a nickname?

Nope.

Lane! Pay attention.

I am.

To me.

Gotcha.

No, that means
return the caII.

I know. I know.
I knew that.

Working in big business
can be stressful,

but l'm gonna get
the hang of it.

Life at the
investment bank is fun.

l get to make my cubicle
beautiful and creative.

[bell dings]

And l get to
date a bunch.

[bell dings]

These guys actually have
items on my checklist.

So far, just two
or three items each,

but that's two
or three more than
in the fashion world.

[bell dings]

My magic man
is out there.

l can feel it.

[printer whirring]

( Kate )
You've already found eight
guys who could be the one?

l know. Put a man in a
suit and things happen.

H m, I guess we can
safeIy cross the junior
anaIyst off the Iist.

What about that guy Seth?
The one who fixed the copier.
Get him to ask you out.

My editor is so cool.
She's forcing me to
flirt with Seth.

Could life get
any better?

Hey.

Hey.

Get Seth to ask
me out? Watch me work.

How are you?

I'm good.
How are you?

What is wrong
with this guy?
Take the bait.

Lane.

And here we go.

You're not here
to ask me about
the copier, are you?

I don't know anything
about copiers, remember?

Yeah. No, I'm not
here to ask you
about the copier.

l bet he's a great
kisser. Sometimes
you just know.

Are you not
getting your maiI?

'Cause either that
new maiI guy is the
Iaziest ever or--

No, my maiI is fine.
MaiI's aII good.

Oh, good.

Hey, Lane.

I was wondering if
you'd Iike to get
a drink sometime.

I thought
you'd never ask.

(Joanne )
How is the article going?
Have you started writing?

M m, I'm stiII in the research
phase. But I have a date with
Seth this Thursday.

I know. I feeI Iike
he's gonna do reaIIy
weII on my checkIist.

Good, 'cause you said he
has fashion sense, right?

He does.

Is he spontaneous?
Does he take exotic
trips on a whim?

M m, I don't know, yet.

Does he put passion
above common sense?

Witty statements on
the tip of his tongue?

Sort of, yeah.

Sexy accent?

That wouId be a no.
But he is fearIess
in the face of danger.

What happened?

He saved me from
the copier. It was
getting out of controI.

The thing was
Iike eating my--

Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.

[British accent]
No, it's aII right.
It's aII right.

[Iaughs]

Do you have the time?

Beautiful and
a sexy accent.

Wait, what did
he just ask me?
Oh, the time.

U m, yes, it's 6:4 2.

Great, then I have
just enough time

to Iet you spiII one more
drink on me before my dinner
meeting. What'II it be?

I mean, shouIdn't I
be the one buying
you a drink?

No, I'm rather
enjoying things
in the current state.

You feeI guiIty
for making me Iook
as though I've wet myseIf,

and you've no choice
but to sit here with me
tiII I finish my drink.

It's the onIy
poIite thing to do.

[bell dings]

Polite
or infatuated?
You decide.

Okay, when you put it
Iike that, I wiII have
another pomegranate martini.

Two.

So, do you Iadies spiII
your drinks on innocent
men for fun

or is it a professionaI
sort of thing?

No. ActuaIIy,
um, I'm a writer.

U ndercover, trying
to find the love
of my life.

Named Lane. My name
is Lane. And this--

What if he likes
her more than me?

Is my friend
who has a boyfriend.

Creep. l'm such
a sixth grader.

Who has a boyfriend?
I've never heard
that name before.

Oh, yeah, it's been in
my famiIy for generations,
but friends caII me Joanne.

Liam.

Liam, are you
in finance?

Oh, no, no, thank God.
No, I used to be a
guitarist, but now--

SeriousIy?
What band?

No, those days are Iong gone.
Now I sit on the other
side of the gIass.

Lane, l'm not
leaving this seat

untiI you agree
to have dinner with
me next Thursday night.

Dinner? Oh.

I Iove you.

I mean, I'd Iove to.
I-I can't wait. Yes.

WeII, that's great.
if I couId just--

Here's her number.

A pIeasure.

Cheers.

Okay, I'm reaIIy
sorry about the
whoIe boyfriend thing.

I wouId have done the exact
same thing. I thought you
had to date a guy in a suit.

Liam.

Some of the lessons l'm
learning for my article are
more obvious than others.

Like it is impossible
to imagine wearing sexy
lingerie for an accountant.

As Iong as you itemize
your deductions--

Where's the craziest
pIace you've ever
had sex?

WeII, one time in
coIIege. I did it on
the Iiving room carpet.

Oh.

You know what?
You are way too
sexuaI for me.

Oh, excuse me.
Hey, can I ask
you for a favor?

Lane.

Tom. How do you
Iike what I've done
with the pIace?

Oh, it's quite festive.

I'm gIad you Iike it.

The beads bIock the
sight Iine from my office
to the rest of the fIoor.

You know, they are made
from recycIed gIass.

I mean, I know I'm no
sandaIs-wearing, guitar
pIaying, tree hugger--

I am.

You are?

Yeah. I mean, we wear
shoes here and I pIay
the harmonica.

HoId on. You pIay
the harmonica?

I did. StrictIy
summer camp thing.

So, to be more
accurate, I guess
I am a shoe-wearing,

ex-harmonica-pIaying
tree hugger.

I mean, I'm not
M r. save-the-fuzzy
bunnies or anything.

I just cannot toIerate
wasting resources.

So, you hate bunnies?

I do. I hate them.
They infuriate me.

U h-huh.

Okay, get back to work.
And take down these
beads, okay?

Let's get going on
these caIIs, Lane.

[sighs]
Okay.

Hey, you stiII having
troubIe with your router?

You know, I'm the tech
wizard around here.

Not a bad wizard,
but a good one.

John, what are
you doing?

What? No, nothing.
No, I-I mean, I'm
doing something.

Helping Lane with her--
Her router is broken,

so l was just-- This
is my girlfriend, Margo. She
works up in equity ratings.

John has a
girlfriend? Go, John.

H i, Margo.

H i, Lane. Are you
coming to Iunch, or are
you happier down there?

Yes. I mean, no, no,
I'm not happier
down here.

I'm coming to--
Oh, sorry. Yeah.
No, just caII,

uh, l. T. and
they'll fix it.

Yeah, I got it.
Thanks for trying.
Margo, uh,

John's aIways
taIking about you.

He is?

Yeah. It's kind
of disgustingIy
sweet, actuaIIy.

[whispers]
Thanks.

Well, that was easy.

Thank you.

Thanks.

Lane, to the pink
contents of that gIass

staying where it ought
rather than on my Iap.

Cheers to that.

You Iook
absoIuteIy stunning.

Thank you.
You don't Iook so bad
yourseIf, you know.

PIeasure to see
you as aIways.
And the IoveIy Iady.

This is Lane.

Lucky you.
He never makes
time to date.

You make me sound rather
IoneIy and pathetic.

I'm sorry,
I didn't mean--

No, it's aII right.
I come here whenever
I'm in New York.

I'm often aIone.

Or with your artists.

Artists?

I produce music.

He runs his own IabeI.

What?

It's nothing.

Can I get you
an appetizer?

How about
some caIamari?

[bell dings]

That's great.

Okay. So, what
kind of music
do you produce?

Oh, no, no, no, Lane.
Let's taIk about you.

I'm sure it's
much more interesting.

Okay, but I don't
know how interesting
you're gonna--

Nonsense. Who is
Lane Daniels?

WeII,

I enjoy Iong waIks
on the beach,

kissing under
the moonIight,

and the worId
of fashion.

What a reIief.

I thought you were gonna
say fun Ioving, a peopIe
person and a dog Iover.

I am a dog Iover.
I've actuaIIy
rescued seven,

but l don't like
playing games,

and I've been toId
a few times that I'm
a first-rate kisser.

I hope you don't
hate aII games.

WeII, I onIy induIge
in those invoIving
feathers and chocoIate.

I'm gonna have
to see if that's
on the dessert menu.

[horns honking]

Do you enjoy Europe?

Oh, I've been desperateIy
wanting to go to Paris

with my friends
for New Year's, but
tickets are so pricey.

I Iove Paris.
Do you visit often?

WeII, yeah,
in my dreams.

You've never been?

Lane, we must remedy
this immediateIy.

Let's hop on
a pIane tonight.

Yes, yes, yesl

No. I've got
work. I can't.

FIimsy excuse.

Sounds Iike you're
dashing off to meet
another bIoke.

Oh, he said bloke.

You've busted me.
He's actuaIIy gonna be
here in a few minutes.

[Iaughs]

You are breathtaking.

I'II get you a cab.

[phone ringing]

Seth l There is
another bloke.

The article. Cosmo.

Sweet dreams.

Thank you.

That's right. Nice.

TiIt your head a IittIe.
Yes, nice, girI.

Rapido. Rapido.

Lane. Hey! Wow,
you've been on
a date.

I was and it was amazing.
I've got another date
in Iike five minutes.

You have another
date? Where?

Sam's on 6th.

You can't go
to Sam's Iike this.

I know.
I need your
heIp. Come on.

And ever since then
I promised myseIf I'd never
ride another horse again.

I don't bIame you.

WeII, maybe a pony.

There's nothing wrong
with Seth, but he's
no Liam.

Do you wanna go
for a nightcap?

You know what?
I shouIdn't.

I-I have a
busy day tomorrow.

Yeah, I understand, but
I had a reaIIy good
time tonight, Lane.

Yeah, I did, too.

Thank you so
much for dinner.

Let me get
you a cab.

Thanks. Okay.

Maybe l'm not the best
undercover journalist
after all.

[horns honking]

Seth and the other men
around me have become
a faceless blur.

I'II send the cIearance
documents to London
right away.

Did somebody say
London? Oh, it's
the land of Liam.

Lane.

Lane. Lanel

This is the document
we're sending to Paris.

You don't speak
French, do you?

It depends on how
you define ''speak. ''

l'm really
disappointed
in you, Lane.

This would have
been disastrous if
l'd sent this out.

I'm sorry.

I've gotta
send an emaiI.

So much for Seth
being fearless in
the face of danger.

Your resume
was riddIed with
exaggerations, Lane.

You don't type
1 20 words a minute,

you don't have
a photographic memory,

and you keep
dropping names
off my caII sheet.

Oh, my God.
Are you firing me?

l'm giving you
a warning. But l do
not tolerate lying.

Now, get back to work.

This is all Liam's fault,

with his sexy accent
and his smile and his lips.

Oh, those lips.

Lane, stop it.
He's distracting
me from my work

and completely
screwing up my
story for Cosmo.

Oh, can't
think straight.

Wait.

l'll change my story.

My story shouldn't
be about finding love
in the business world.

l'm not good at
business stuff anyway.

My story is going to be about
meeting the perfect guy when
you least expect it.

Because you never know
when your magic man
is gonna find you.

It's good, right?

Lane, this is not
your college paper.

This is not some crappy
blog that you can write
in your pajamas.

And it sure as heII
isn't an articIe on shoes
for For Her magazine.

It's Her Style,
but that's okay.

Lane, this is
a cover story
for Cosmo.

A cover story?

Yes, it's
a cover story.

l gave you the chance
of a lifetime.

So, you are gonna
deIiver whether you
Iike it or not.

This piece has absolutely
nothing to do with Liam,
so stop seeing him.

This story is about
the business world.

Get your butt back
to Thompson FuIworth
and un-quit.

lf you're not good at
the business stuff,
get better.

lf you can't find
the right guy in a
suit, look harder.

You have two more weeks to
have an article about finding
love in the business world

on my desk, and
it better be great.
Are we cIear?

Yes.

No Liam, get better,
work harder, date often.

Ah ! sorry.

Oh, hey, Lane?

Drinks? Sure.
Wednesday, 8: 00
to 1 0: 00.

Lane?

Tom.

I was just turning out
your, um, office Iamp.

I Ieft it on? ReaIIy?

It must have
sIipped your mind.

Oh. Lane?

I'm on my way.

l finally find
my magic man

and l'm not
allowed to see him.

Thank you.

Something wrong, Lane?

No, not whiIe
I'm with you.

Liam, there's something
I have to teII you.

It's reaIIy
difficuIt for me.

See, I'm writing
this articIe and--

It wouId be very
easy to faII in
Iove with you.

What? ReaIIy?

Yes, reaIIy.
You're stunning.
You're funny.

My heart races
when I see you.

And that dress
you're wearing, a bIoke
doesn't stand a chance.

l know l'm supposed
to date a man in a suit,

but Liam's a man
and he's falling
for me.

At any rate,
I do have to
protect myseIf

with a woman as
beautifuI as you.

I'm afraid I've had
my heart broken before.

Aw. TeII me
about it.

No.

Come on, you
can teII me.

WeII, we'd been
together for years

and, uh, I worshipped her.
I thought she worshipped me.

We'd survived Iong distances,
parentaI disapprovaI,
a saiIing accident.

A saiIing accident?

That sounds more
dramatic than it was.

Point is, I snuck out
earIy one Sunday morning
to buy eggs and caviar.

You know, surprise
her with a IittIe
breakfast in bed.

But I was the one
Ieft surprised.

Tiptoed in to find
onIy a note. It said,

'' I'm done. ''

There is so much
pain in the world.

l declare my one
mission in life, if it's
the last thing l do,

l will heal Liam's
wounded heart.

Dessert at your pIace?

We couId.

But I bet my pIace
isn't as Iuxurious
as yours.

See, I--

I wish I couId have
you over, but my
father's in town.

So, unIess you want to share
some warm chocoIate and
creme fraiche with him--

My pIace wiII be fine.

Whoo!

[Iaughing]

ShaII I get
some spoons?

We won't be
needing any spoons.

This is gonna be great.

Maybe for you.

It's Iike a
day at the spa.

I nstead of the organic
heaIthy detoxifying seaweed,

you're being
wrapped in. . . pIastic.

WheeI her in.

There you go.
Don't trip.

Now, I want you to
show off the purse.

I want you to touch it.
It's the Iove of
your Iife. Good.

Good morning, Joanne,
and pIastic- wrapped modeIs.

Oh ! Somebody Iooks Iike
the cat who ate the canary.

[chuckIes]
More Iike the chocoIate.

Were you with Liam?

Yes, I was.
And must say
he's pretty skiIIed

in the chocoIate and
Iove-making department.

BeIgian?

No no, he's British.

No, the chocoIate.
was it BeIgian?

Who cares?
It was deIicious.

But all of
those calories.

Oh, don't worry.
We burned them
off Iast night.

Okay, wait wait, Lane.

I thought that Kate
from Cosmo toId you
to stop seeing Liam.

I have no idea what
you're taIking about.

Lane?

You know
I Iove you, but--

ReIax, it's fine.

What am I gonna
do with you?

J ust Iove me
for who I am.

Aw.
[camera clicking]

[chuckIes]
Okay.

I want you to stay stiII
exactIy Iike that. You know
how hot you Iook right now?

Joanne.

SeriousIy, I want you
to Iift up the purse.
J ust Iike you Iove it.

Joanne, there's
a smaII probIem.

Like it's your Iover.
You're running
away together.

Joanne, I have to pee.

AII right,
that's a probIem.
WheeI her out.

[horns honking]
[whistle blowing]

That's why l'd like
to absorb those losses
now. l n two years--

Don't taIk to me about
Iong-term growth.

lf we're gonna
take the hit on
these properties,

we're gonna need
to compensate by
selling other asses--

Assets. SeII
other assets.

Yeah, but--wow.

l need serious
performance from your
division, gentlemen.

This isn't a year
to skirt change--

l mean, short change.
l'm a happily married man.

M r. BeImont?

Lane!

Oh.

H i there.

I apoIogize for
the distraction, sir.

No apoIogy necessary.

[women laughing]

Okay. Look, Liam
sounds amazing,
Lane, he does.

But is he worth
risking everything over?

He pIaces passion
over common sense.

He has a sexy
British accent.

He's spontaneous.
He has great fashion sense.
We Iike the same foods and--

Okay, okay, I admit
he does weII on
the checkIist.

Does weII?
He's a nine out
of a ten, Joanne.

That's like unheard of.
And the one thing that
he's missing,

the crazy public fights
and torrid makeup sex,

I'm thinking about
taking that off
the Iist because--

Yeah, Okay. Liam is
a nine out of ten. And l
like seeing you happy,

but he's not a man
in a suit. You have
to find a man in a suit.

Ew.

What, you don't Iike
guys in suits?

No, I ate some
of my mask.

This is Iike junior
high. I feeI Iike
I'm at a sIeepover.

We need snacks.

We need more wine.

M m, Iet's go
to that store
downstairs.

I can't go there,
remember? I had the thing
with the cashier. Remember?

Oh, my God.
Okay, we'II go.

Say hi for me
though. He's hot.

Oh, Lane, l don't
feel so good.

What?

Do I Iook
green to you?

Oh, I forgot
the ice cream
and SprinkIes.

Trying on a new
faII coIor, Ab Fab?

Ab Fab?

Tom? What are
you doing here?

I was just shooting
hoops down the street,

and I heard they were
having a speciaI
on green goo.

Out of the office,
he looks different.

J ust buying
some snacks.

Take a waIk
on the wiId side.

Oh, no no no.
I don't--

l know, l know,
there's no protein
and neurotransmitters.

But this stuff
is utterIy deIicious.

See, it's the deIicious
part that makes me
uncomfortabIe.

Right.

And what army are
you about to poison?

WeII, I just have
a coupIe of--

I actuaIIy have
a Iot of friends over.

WeII, I wiII not
stand in your way.

lt's not a problem.
By the way, today in
the conference room-

Don't worry about it. It took
a bit to get M r. BeImont's
concentration back,

but it was
the highIight
of the meeting.

I-I'II see you
in the morning.

Okay, sounds good.

That's Tom,
your boss?

Yeah, can you
beIieve it?

He's cute.

What are you talking
about? He has a
girlfriend.

A boss Iike that,
now I am green
with envy.

Shut up.

[phone rings]

Hey, Lane.
Do I Iook okay?

Yeah sure
big meeting?

Big Iunch with
Margo's parents.

Oh. Pressure.

Yeah.

Come here,
I'II fix your tie.

Oh, thanks.

Is that the
weekIy report?

Yeah, why?

Where'd the new
visuaIs come from?

Oh, I did them.

I thought it wouId be
easier for everyone to
pass the buIIet points.

I'm impressed.

Yeah. Maybe you can heIp
me with the write up on
the Victoria property.

I wouId Iove to.

Now, go charm the pants
of Margo's parents.

Ugh. Not a--not
a pretty picture.

Her dad's super
pear-shaped.

This stuff about
you getting the
job is great.

U m, minor troubIe
at work, that's fine.

U h, but now what we
need is some more depth.

I mean, this can't just be
an articIe about you dating
a bunch of men in suits.

[sighs]
It needs to end with you
finding your magic man.

Which I'm trying
to find. Trust me.

M m, your story needs
a reaI reIationship
to anchor it.

Do you think any of these
guys have that potentiaI?

Well, there's Liam.
Oh, and, uh, Liam.

You stopped
seeing Liam, right?

Oh, yeah.

Then you have pIenty
of time to go on a
dozen more dates.

A dozen?
That's every night.

Yeah, exactIy.
And I expect to read
every singIe detaiI

from every singIe date.
Cover stories are
fuII-time gigs.

For what it's worth,
I stiII think Seth
might be the one.

But I think you shouId
go on a date with him,
you know, one more time.

He might surprise you.

Got it.

l have a new mantra.

''Seth is the one.
Seth, Seth, Seth. ''

l can't see Liam.
l have to see Seth.

Seth, Seth.

Seth !

Hey, any chance you're
free for Iunch tomorrow?

Sure, but I didn't
think that you--

Dude, what
are you doing?

Yeah, sure.

Great.

Oh. This story for Cosmo
is going to ruin my Iife.

So then we had the Ieverage
we needed to compIete the
takeover, which meant more--

Seth might not
be my magic man,

but if l'm not
allowed to see Liam,

at least Seth has
good fashion sense
and a nice butt.

lf he's the trade-off
for a cover story in
Cosmo, l'll take it.

Turns out they had a few
companies in Germany, which
means l had to hire

a translator for a few days
just to help me navigate
through the books.

And after 1 8 months
of approving the financials,
we finally closed the deal.

Now, we're one of
the most powerful--

This isn't working.
My body's here but my spirit
is doing naughty things with--

Liam.

See him.
I said see him.

See him?
See who?

H im. My-sh--
My girIfriend.

She's texting me.
There's this guy and
She shouIdn't see him.

He stood her up
Iike three times.

Do you want
to caII her?

No, it's--

Yeah, I shouId.
Is that okay?

No, of course.

I'm sorry.
She needs me.

We can get together
later in the week.

ReaIIy?

Okay. Thank you.

[sighs]

New plan for my article.
l'll date Liam, write
about him,

but instead
of using Liam's name,
l'll say it's Seth.

Now, that is
creative writing.

I have a surprise for you.

Thai chicken wrap.
HeaIthy and deIicious.

You can try something
new every once
in a whiIe.

I had them put extra
neurotransmitters

and a dash
of omega acid.
J ust try it.

Fine.

Wow.

Yeah, deIish, huh?

That is the best
neurotransmitters
I've ever had.

I'm gIad.
What's this for?

It's for the presentation
next week. What do you think?

It's O K.

You don't Iike it?

It's not that
I don't Iike it.

It's awfuI.

It's awfuI. If you're
gonna make visuaIs, Tom,
you shouId make them visuaI.

You couId use
coIor and composition
to enhance your pitch.

You wanna
surprise them.
Entice them, you know,

make them want
just a IittIe bit more.

Wait, what are you--

It's aII right.
It's aII good.

If it makes you
feeI any better,

I Iike the shirt
you wore into
work today.

It's the same shirt
I wore yesterday.

ReaIIy? The same?

WeII, not the exact
same. Its brother.

Yeah, that's
what I thought.

You know, maybe I wiII
take you up on that Lane
DanieIs makeover someday.

Anytime.

Eat your
transmitters.

Dating Liam. Oh,
Seth, is wonderful.

He's charming,
he's romantic,
he's sexy.

We're in our own
little love cocoon.

Hey.

Hey.

How's your friend?

She's great.
Thank you for asking.

CooI.

Even if we're just
passing each other
in the office,

we have crazy
sexual tension.

[printer whirring]

[loud pop music playing]

( Lane )
Okay, l probably
shouldn't tell you this,

but ever since college
l've had this thing.

It's a Iist
for eIigibIe guys.

It's basicaIIy a
checkIist to find
my magic man.

Your what?

My magic man.
I know.

What, Iike card tricks? Rabbit
out of a hat? Is that what
we're taIking about?

I know it sounds siIIy.
But, okay, I just wanted
you to know

that you've scored
highest on the Iist.
I mean, aImost perfect.

Wait. ''AImost perfect''?

M m-hm.

Give me a chance, Lane.
What am I missing?

[bell dings]

How couId you possibIy
have seduced my
twin brother

when you knew
it wouId rip my
souI from my body,

Ieaving a gaping hoIe
that wiII aIways bear
your name?

You know what? I onIy sIept
with him once. And it was just
to make you jeaIous!

Besides, you Ied me on
to beIieve you were
freaking dead !

I was in a coma!
But I'm awake now, Lane.

Is there anything
I can do to win you back?

Yes. You know what?
Lose my freaking number!

[people murmuring]

J ust met her tonight.

Dreadful sorry
about the big
fight last night.

Oh, not me.
The makeup was
worth it.

Wait a moment.
Does this make me
ten out of ten?

U m, after Iast night,
I think that that
makes you

eIeven out of a ten.

Looking forward
to our next fight.

M m, me, too.

[British accent]
' EIIo.

Sorry, I didn't know
I was supposed to
cook for three.

Oh, that Iooks deIicious.

Because of fake
Seth, I'm famished.

Yeah, nothing like
deceiving Cosmo to
work up an appetite.

Everything is true,
except for the fact
that it's fiction.

Kate just said
that she wanted
a good story, okay?

And trust me,
this is gonna
be a good story.

Yeah, I know.
I think I heard
the cIimax Iast night.

I just don't want you
to get in troubIe.

I hear you,
but it's fine.

It's fine.

Yeah. WeII, now that you're
exaggerating characters
and making things up,

I want you to name
me. . . Lucy. I'm your
best friend.

I'm the other hot girI
at Thompson FuIworth,

and I'm using C osmo's
''ten most exciting pIaces
to have sex in the workpIace''

as my extracurricuIar guide.

You know, with an imagination
Iike that, I think you
shouId be the writer.

I'm thinking about it.
Okay, friends share, so
you don't get this anymore.

No, no, you were bad.
You did a bad thing.

As l'm sure you all know,
our internal review with
M r. Belmont is on the 2 7 th,

and we need to prove
our department's vaIue
moving forward.

The presentation needs
to be visuaI and we're
gonna mix it up.

We need to surprise
him, entice him.

We're gonna run
everything through
one person.

Lane?

Yeah.

You'II handIe
the visuaIs.

Lane has a really great eye
for this stuff and l have
complete confidence in her.

All right,
gentlemen, that's it.
Thank you very much

[men congratulate Lane]

[pop rock music playing]

Jackie has a thing

l n addition to
the presentation,

l'm writing
my Cosmo story,

starring fake Seth,
the sexiest guy ever.

Who happens to look
a lot like Liam.

And she can
Make it swing

That's reaIIy good.
They're reaIIy yummy.

Even if she's
Trying to forget

Between the stage lights
And the threat

Hey-hey-hey-hey! Look.

l'm working long hours
but l'm part of a team,
and that feels great.

The lonely night
Of sad rain

Like a lone
Lost child

Who's on
His own again

Lane.

Yeah?

RecycIed paper.
That's great.

Oh, I thought
you'd Iike that.

So, why don't we use
recycled paper
around here?

Oh, you know, it's a good
question. The short answer
is it's out of my controI.

Why don't you make it
in your controI?

lt's good for the planet,
and l bet you could save
this place a lot of money.

We couId save
a Iot of money,
but onIy over time.

U h, hey, this is gonna sound
siIIy, but I wanted a new
suit for the presentation.

I was wondering if
I couId take you up on that
makeover we taIked about.

WouId Whitney
be okay with that?

Whitney? We broke up.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, no-no-no,
don't be. It wasn't
meant to be. She was--

A little demanding?

Yeah.

And she wore
fake naiIs.

WeII, there
was that, too.

You shouId've toId me.
We couId've gotten drunk

and had cupcakes
and thrown eggs
at her apartment.

We stiII can
if you want.

No, no, no, that--
That's okay.
But thanks.

WeII, Iet's get you a new
suit. There's nothing Iike
shopping to cheer you up.

Let's do it.

You

Give me exactly

What l need

Return the caII?

Spin around.

Oh, yeah.

Now do a IittIe dance.

Oh, my goodness.

So, do you Iike it?

I do.

H uh?

Oh.

Yeah !

I Iike.
I Iike it.
Are we done?

M m. AImost.

Come on.

You think
this is better?

Yes. I wiII miss
your brother and
sister shirts,

but I think you
Iook reaIIy nice.

I guess I shouId
thank you then.

U m, I'd better
get back.

Yup. I'm gonna run to the
printer's, grab the mock-ups
and I'II see you in an hour.

Okay, yeah.
I'm just gonna change
and then I'II--Okay.

[cIears throat]
Ta-dah !

What do you think?
Great, right?

They're fine, Lane.

U h-oh, somebody's
in a mood.

[gasps]
My article.

Where did you get those?

It was sitting on top of
the printer. The foIder
was on your desk.

Tom, this isn't
what you think.

AII this time,
after everything--

You smug
IittIe bastard.

I think I'm
missing something.

You don't understand.
Tom, the article wasn't
what you think.

Wait a minute. This is
for a stupid articIe?

It's not a stupid articIe.
It's a cover story for
Cosmo magazine.

l'll just be
in my office.

You're staying
right here.

It wasn't Seth.

What wasn't me?

It was a fake Seth.
I made it up.

Yeah, the sexuaI
tension between you
guys, the chocoIate sex.

We had chocoIate sex?

Get out.

I thought
I knew you, Lane.

And not to sound too
personaI, but I reaIIy
enjoyed working with you.

And now l find out
everything is a lie.

Don't say that.
That's not true.

Then what the heII is
true, Lane? I hired you.
I beIieved in you.

And I worked
reaIIy hard.

No, you worked hard
on your story, on
tricking everyone.

l thought that
you were becoming
a great assistant.

But I didn't know you
were hooking up with
every guy in the office.

I didn't hook up with
anyone. And I did become
a great assistant.

Okay, I Iearned
your hand signaIs,

l studied those tutorials,
and l worked late
every night

and I poured my heart
into these visuaIs.

Goodbye, Tom.

I just had the most
horribIe day ever.

( Liam )
Oh, are you
okay, love?

No. I just got
fired from my job
and ruined everything.

I want you to just
come over and hoId me
and hand me tissues.

l'd love to, Lane,
l really would,

but l'm actually
out of town.

You are?

l had to hop over to
London. One of my acts
had a little meltdown.

l'll be back Friday.
We could pick up
some cheesecake,

Enjoy it in
your bedroom.

Okay. WeII,
I miss you.

l miss you,
too. Bye.

This is where Liam
and l had our very
first date.

Do you know what's
wrong with dating
a British guy?

When you really need
him, he's in England.

Joanne, what
am I gonna do?

I got fired
from my job,

I Iet tom down, and
now my articIe is dead.

No, it's not.

Aren't you forgetting
about your best friend who
vouched for you at Cosmo?

You can't just decIare
your articIe dead.

I know that
you vouched for me,
and I feeI horribIe.

But my story was supposed
to be about finding Iove
in the worId of business,

and the worId of business
has kicked me out.
So now what?

Lane, I toId you
not to date Liam.

I toId you not
to write Iies.

I know you did.
I screwed up.

Lane.

Lane.

I think
I just saw Liam.

He's in London.

Yeah, that's
what I thought.

[normal accent]
A pleasure to see you as
always. And the lovely lady.

You had time to make
it out whiIe you're here.

Oh, it's so nice
to visit New York.

I've been so cooped
up in the studio.

He's a producer,
you know.

[British accent]
Okay, okay, so you're
a record producer as weII?

It's fascinating.

Yes, it is.

[British accent]
LoveIy to see you, Lane.

HeIIo, Liam.
How was London?

It was rather--
Let's taIk outside.

J ust one second, Iove.
Let me teII you how
this works.

This, uh, waiter has
a great British accent,

and he's gonna
teII you aII of these
fantastic stories

about his exciting
Iife in EngIand.

And he's smooth,
so you're gonna
fall for it.

And it's gonna
turn out to be
one big cheap Iie.

I just wanted
to impress you.

You just wanted
to get Iaid.

ShaII we?

Oh. Yes.

I definiteIy
think we shaII.

That was good.
WeII-pIayed.

[both Iaughing]

Jerk.

l know l deserve this.

l lied to everyone
at work and Liam
lied to me.

lt's karma, and
it strikes quickly.

And because everything has
to fall apart at once,

l can't get my story
about fake Seth to work.

[cell phone beeps]

Tom?

Lane, where are you?

What do you mean?

Did you forget we have
a presentation today?

Did you forget
that you fired me?

I didn't fire you.

That's what it
sounded Iike to me.

I was upset with you.
The presentation is in two
hours and I need those visuaIs.

Two hours? I have to
get to the printer's
to pick them up.

WeII, then run
to the printer's.

Everyone is mad at me.
I Iied to everyone.

Lane, this isn't
the seventh grade.

It's investment banking.
Now, get me those boards.

What's up?

Tom needs me
to come back
to work.

Wearing that?

No.

[cars honking]

Thank you for
coming today,
M r. BeImont.

Let's begin with--

Oh.

Sorry.

M r. BeImont, hi.

[whispers]
Lots of traffic.

M r. BeImont, Lane
here is going to provide
us with some visuaIs

that I think wiII
reaIIy enhance
the presentation.

Let's begin. This year's
numbers for corporate
strategic pIanning

were depressed by a few
factors but, given the overaII
cIimate in emerging markets,

we feeI confident
that we wiII see an
increase in profits.

All you have to do is take
a look at the l ndian market.
Prepared to skyrocket.

lf we can consolidate
these gains, we'll
move forward.

This is gonna be
a great year,

and we hope
you'II agree.

WeII, Tom, you
and your department

certainIy put together
an impressive presentation,

and I must say
the visuaIs were
quite impressive.

U nfortunately,
the economic realities
of this are not pretty.

We have to cut
$34 miIIion this month,

and I'II have to puII
key pIayers from your
group into M&A.

What happens
to everybody eIse?

We'II Iet you know
who's making the
transition shortIy.

And the rest of you,
wiII work through the
beginning of the month.

[cIears throat]

Yeah. Thank you.
We're finished here.

Tom.

- Wait, M r. Belmont.
- Lane, no.

M r. BeImont,
I think you're
missing the point.

And what point is
that, young Iady?

If you couId save
even more money than
the $34 miIIion

you're Iooking
to cut from the budget,

and simuItaneousIy improve
your image in the business
and consumer markets,

you'd be interested
in that, wouIdn't you?

Is this a riddIe? I
have another meeting
in five minutes.

[whispering]
Okay. J ust--

Didn't you say that
you couId do aII of
this by going green?

You toId me you couId
save this company money.

I said it was
out of my controI.

This isn't
seventh grade,
Tom. Take controI.

Go.

M r. BeImont--
[cIears throat]

Go.

I wanna propose
a green initiative.

Our bank can reduce
our environmentaI impact,

support eco-friendIy
traders and save
miIIions of doIIars.

Tom, I wouIdn't mind saving
the pIanet, but we have some
hard decisions to make

and a few
cosmetic changes.

It wouId take more than
a few cosmetic changes.
We have to target heating,

cooIing, waste and
transportation. I can
show you the math.

What makes you think
your group shouId Iead
this initiative?

Corporate strategic pIanning
is the onIy division in
the entire company

that deaIs with
every other department,

and we handIe
properties for our
cIients and our bank.

AII right. Fine.

l'm listening,
but l wanna
see the math

and l wanna see
a ten-year projection.

And if you can back
this up, I'II keep
your department together.

You won't be
disappointed, sir.

All right, Thomas.
l mpress me.

That was so great.

You saved
our department.

N ice work, Tom.

Seth, I'm sorry
about mixing you up
with my articIe.

It was nothing personaI.
You were so nice to me
and I shouId have--

Lane, it's aII right.

ReaIIy?

Yeah. Besides, I couId never
do what you described
in your articIe.

I'm aIIergic
to chocoIate.

Right.

[chuckIes]

Oh.

Amazing work today.

You, too.

Good Iuck on the articIe.
I'II be Iooking for it.

Yeah, weII,
don't beIieve
everything you read.

What? So, you're
not gonna write
the true story?

Cosmo doesn't want
the true story.

They want the story
that I pitched.

And I've been wanting to
work there for as Iong
as I can remember.

H m. Yeah.
WeII, I get that,

but I think you owe it
to yourseIf to write
what actuaIIy happened.

It couId be
a great story.

Thanks, Tom. I didn't
deserve to work

for a guy Iike you.
And I'm sorry.

It's okay.
Working in
investment banking,

I don't meet many
women Iike you.

It was, um,
an adventure.

A great adventure.

Goodbye, Tom.

[sighs]

Good, huh?

What really happened
may not have a
happy ending,

but love just doesn't
happen to girls like me.

Girls who built their
hopes on an intricate
web of daydreams.

The truth is that
everyone has issues,

and maybe building up
a fake perfect man
in my mind

is my biggest
issue of all.

l've been walking
around with the ghost
of my magic man.

He's been haunting me,
keeping me from recognizing
a world of opportunities

that were right
in front of me.

My anger at Liam
eventually faded away.

After all, he was just
giving me what l wanted.

Every lovesick
girl's fantasy.

An idealized version
of what l imagined love
should look like.

But there's no such
thing as perfection.

Love is for people
who are realistic

and smart enough to open
their hearts and minds,

and who realize that
a real relationship

is the ultimate fantasy.

l haven't found
that relationship, yet,

but l've shaken off the
shadow of my magic man
and l'm finding myself.

l think that's
a pretty good start.

I'd say you
toId the truth.

Yup, nothing
but the truth.

I just couIdn't teII
a Iie, you know, after
everything I Iearned.

WeII, it's probabIy
the Iast articIe you'II
be writing for Cosmo.

And I don't imagine
they'II be caIIing me
anytime soon.

I'm sorry, Joanne.
You stuck your neck
out for me and I--

Okay, enough.
You did the right
thing. I'm proud of you.

[cell phone ringing]

It's Kate.

Kate from Cosmo?

HeIIo.

Lane, hi. U h, I need
to see you in my office
first thing tomorrow morning.

U m, sure. So, what
did you think bout the
articIe? I know that it's--

I'II see you here.

So, what does one
wear to get fired in?

Oh. Hang on.
Here, take mine.

I need it.

Why did l tell the truth?
What was l thinking?

l should've just written
the article Kate asked for.
She's gonna be so pissed.

So, this is what
hell looks like.

Oh, l hate this crosswalk.
lt's taking me to my doom,

my destruction,
the crushing of
my dream.

Thank you for coming
in today, Lane.

Kate.

I'm sorry
about the articIe.

I don't--I know
that it's terribIe
and I'm gonna redo it.

I got sick and I feII
and I hit my head and--

Lane, it's perfect.

I don't know what
got into me and--

What?

It's everything
I ever wanted.

Everyone at
Cosmo Ioves it.

When you came into
my office asking to change
what the story was about,

I reaIized this was
about something
much deeper.

I reaIized this
was about you figuring
things out for yourseIf.

I want to
congratuIate you

on your outstanding
cover story for Cosmo.

Thank you.

And of course I'm
gonna want updates
on you and Tom.

Tom?

It's so obvious you guys
are into each other.

What? Me and Tom?

Wait a second.
So, you just went in

and kicked ass
on the big presentation,
packed up your desk,

said goodbye
and just waIked out?

Yes. That's
what happened.

You never mentioned
how he scored on
your checkIist.

Because I didn't do
a checkIist for Tom.

Oh, my God.
Okay, hoId on.
What was it?

Okay. Does he take
trips to exotic pIaces
on a whim?

Where are you going?

Back to my office.

Does he put passion
above common sense?

ActuaIIy, I bought six.
The same but not
the same same.

Not reaIIy and no.

Do you have
crazy pubIic fights
and torrid makeup sex?

This is for a
stupid articIe?

We actuaIIy did have
a pubIic fight,

but it wasn't crazy and
there was definiteIy
no makeup sex.

Does he share
your taste in food?

Why don't you take
a waIk on the wiId side?

No.

Does he have an accent?
Does he pIay a sexy
musicaI instrument?

Yes. No.

Well, he plays
the harmonica.

Are you starting
to see a pattern here?

That Tom is a
zero out of a ten?

And?

And--

I think I have to go.

That's my girI.

All that time my true magic
man was was right in front of
me and l didn't even notice.

l have to find Tom.

Lane.

Hey, where's Tom?

U m, sorry I was spinning
in your chair, but it
spins good.

John.

U h, I don't know.
Are you okay?

Oh, we'II see.
I need to find him.
Do you know where he is?

Maybe he's
down the haII.

It spins better if
you go the other way.

Oh. She's right.

Ooh ! Seth.
Hey. How are you?

I'm--I'm good.
I-I started seeing
my ex-girIfriend again.

l used to think
she was crazy, but
after dating you--

U m, I'm gIad I couId heIp.
Look, I need to find Tom.
Do you know where he is?

He's actuaIIy
in the conference room,
but he's in a meeting.

N ice seeing you, Lane.

Yeah.

AII right, guys.
The entire department--

Tom.

Ab Fab, what are
you doing here?

I figured it out.

Figured what out?

You have no styIe,
you Iike boring food

and you have way
too much common sense.

U m, okay.

You're not spontaneous,
you don't have a
sexy accent

and you are nothing
I want in a guy.

Thanks?

No, it's a good thing
and it just took me a
whiIe to reaIize that.

I don't think
I foIIow.

Tom, I--I'm in
Iove with you.

I Iove you, too.

You know how you want your
first kiss to be strikingly
passionate and beautiful

with everyone rising
for a standing ovation?

WeII, it turned out
to be exactIy what
I hoped for.

Ow!

I'm sorry.

Well, almost.

Ah, the articIes.
They're fantastic.

I toId you
you shouId've
used my Iist.

Tom is cute
and he breathes.

So, now that you're
a big-time writer,

are you gonna pitch
in for groceries?

Oh. WeII, you can
caII my peopIe and see
what they can work out.

Okay. WeII, teII
your peopIe that
I Ioved your articIe.

Thank you
so much, Joanne.

And the cover photo
is amazing.

You're not so
bad, you know.

So, my article comes
out and people read it

and seemed to like it,
which is great.

l'm onto my next
big piece for Cosmo.

A story about
helping your boyfriend
become fashion savvy,

which is no small feat.

Tom's green division
is up and running,

and he convinces me to help
out on his presentations
now and again.

Tom is. . . Tom.

And there's no leading
man quite like him.

The little quirks are
precisely the things
that l love.

lt's our romance and
it's a real romance.

lt's wonderful because
all the pieces of me fit
with the pieces of him.

Lane. Lane, I can't
feeI my arm.

Oh ! I'm sorry.

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