Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:05,854 --> 00:00:09,510
Previously
on "American Princess"...
2
00:00:09,554 --> 00:00:12,209
We like our peripheral employees
to stay consistent
3
00:00:12,252 --> 00:00:14,428
with proper Elizabethan
as best they can.
4
00:00:14,472 --> 00:00:16,169
Huzzah for the tipper.
5
00:00:16,213 --> 00:00:17,562
We'll work on it.
6
00:00:17,605 --> 00:00:19,303
[ Women shrieking ]Miss you, bitch.
7
00:00:19,346 --> 00:00:22,045
-How's rehab?
-Lexi, she's not in rehab.
8
00:00:22,088 --> 00:00:24,308
That's just what we're saying.It's not Amanda's fault
9
00:00:24,351 --> 00:00:27,006
that that hooker bit off
her own tongue.Erin: It might be.
10
00:00:27,050 --> 00:00:28,747
Helen: [ Lisping ]
I know you think I'm here
to stab you to death,
11
00:00:28,790 --> 00:00:31,097
but the truth is, Amanda,
we're square.
12
00:00:31,141 --> 00:00:32,577
My mom paid you off.
13
00:00:32,620 --> 00:00:35,058
Now I can travel the circuit
in a tour bus.
14
00:00:35,101 --> 00:00:37,408
♪♪
15
00:00:37,451 --> 00:00:39,453
[ Indistinct conversations ]
16
00:00:39,497 --> 00:00:44,197
♪♪
17
00:00:44,241 --> 00:00:45,416
Areola:
Huzzah for the tipper!
18
00:00:45,459 --> 00:00:47,287
-Huzzah!
-Huzzah!
19
00:00:47,331 --> 00:00:50,203
♪ Huzzah for the tipper
20
00:00:50,247 --> 00:00:52,292
It needs work.
[ Sighs ]
21
00:00:52,336 --> 00:00:54,599
[ Dignified British accent ]
Blanchett, Cate Blanchett. No.
22
00:00:54,642 --> 00:00:56,253
[ Rough Cockney accent ]
Cate Blanchett.
23
00:00:56,296 --> 00:00:57,602
Pray thee.
Pray -- Pray thee.
24
00:00:57,645 --> 00:00:59,647
Pray thee.
25
00:00:59,691 --> 00:01:01,649
Pray thee tell.
26
00:01:01,693 --> 00:01:03,347
[ Sighing ] Oh.
27
00:01:03,390 --> 00:01:06,263
Huzzah for the titties.
28
00:01:06,306 --> 00:01:09,353
[ Indistinct conversations ]
29
00:01:09,396 --> 00:01:11,311
-[ Gasps ] Oh!
-Good morrow, dear cuz!
30
00:01:11,355 --> 00:01:14,619
-[ Sighs ]
-Whoo! Oh, whoa. What's that?
31
00:01:14,662 --> 00:01:16,882
This is for Cyril.
32
00:01:16,925 --> 00:01:19,537
Cyril, I made you
a scoby-thingy,
33
00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:21,365
and the kombucha
is turning out great.
34
00:01:21,408 --> 00:01:23,758
I'd like to think it's because
I fermented it in the sun
35
00:01:23,802 --> 00:01:26,457
and not in horse shit.
36
00:01:26,500 --> 00:01:29,286
-Thanks?
-You're welcome.
37
00:01:29,329 --> 00:01:31,157
And this is pineapple juice,
for your cough.
38
00:01:31,201 --> 00:01:33,116
I know it was a little better
last night,
39
00:01:33,159 --> 00:01:35,857
but the natural bromelain in it
will nip it in the bud, I swear.
40
00:01:35,901 --> 00:01:38,947
You've totally embraced
the spirit of faire-mily!
41
00:01:38,991 --> 00:01:40,862
But I don't have a cough.
42
00:01:40,906 --> 00:01:42,560
Yes, you do.
43
00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:44,257
You were up the last two nights.[ Boy coughs ]
44
00:01:44,301 --> 00:01:45,389
That was Lil Boy.
45
00:01:45,432 --> 00:01:47,130
Wh-What?
46
00:01:47,173 --> 00:01:49,349
This little boy slept
in our room last night?
47
00:01:49,393 --> 00:01:51,177
-Where else would he sleep?
-With his parents?
48
00:01:51,221 --> 00:01:53,571
[ Laughing ]
I'm his parents!
49
00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:55,399
-You have a kid?
-You knew about him.
50
00:01:55,442 --> 00:01:57,792
I really truly
very much did not.
51
00:01:57,836 --> 00:02:00,012
Really?
52
00:02:00,055 --> 00:02:01,709
Well, this is Lil Boy.
53
00:02:01,753 --> 00:02:03,407
Yes, I can see
that he's a little boy.
54
00:02:03,450 --> 00:02:05,583
No, that's his name.
Lil Boy.
55
00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:07,106
Until he's old enough
to choose his own name.
56
00:02:07,150 --> 00:02:09,064
-Fartbox!
-Okay, not old enough yet.
57
00:02:09,108 --> 00:02:10,327
Why don't you check the fridge
for Mommy?
58
00:02:10,370 --> 00:02:13,460
This isn't quite cold enough.
59
00:02:13,504 --> 00:02:15,593
He's been sleeping in our room
this whole time?
60
00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:18,073
Sometimes. Lulu home-schools
the faire brats,
61
00:02:18,117 --> 00:02:19,510
so a lot of times,
he crashes with her kids.
62
00:02:19,553 --> 00:02:21,468
Wait, hive parenting.
63
00:02:21,512 --> 00:02:23,470
I read about this
in Vanity Fair,I think.
64
00:02:23,514 --> 00:02:25,211
Or a Buzzfeed listicle.
65
00:02:25,255 --> 00:02:27,605
Lil Boy: One of the gasket
retainer screws is loose.
66
00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:31,304
I need Lee's
Allen wrench.
67
00:02:31,348 --> 00:02:33,959
-Okay.
-He does seem skilled.
68
00:02:34,002 --> 00:02:35,395
Certainly better
here with me
69
00:02:35,439 --> 00:02:37,310
than back home
with my crazy parents.
70
00:02:37,354 --> 00:02:39,486
Your parents are strict,
too, huh?
71
00:02:39,530 --> 00:02:42,272
My mom made me
take French andMandarin.
72
00:02:42,315 --> 00:02:45,405
Mercifor nothing,
Chairman Mao.
73
00:02:45,449 --> 00:02:47,233
Evangelical Christians.
74
00:02:47,277 --> 00:02:48,887
I wasn't even allowed to read
"The Giving Tree"
75
00:02:48,930 --> 00:02:51,629
when I was a kid, because
"If it can give you an apple,
76
00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:53,674
it can touch you
in your bathing suit area."
77
00:02:53,718 --> 00:02:57,112
Wow. Yeah, this is a much better
place for him. And you.
78
00:02:57,156 --> 00:02:59,593
And all of us!
79
00:02:59,637 --> 00:03:03,597
-Boobs look great.
-Thanks, babe.
80
00:03:03,641 --> 00:03:05,469
It'll hold like this
for a bit,
81
00:03:05,512 --> 00:03:07,558
but the gasket
needs to be replaced.
82
00:03:07,601 --> 00:03:09,995
Will do.
Thanks, kiddo.
83
00:03:10,038 --> 00:03:12,519
All right.
Three Wet-Naps, two matchbooks,
84
00:03:12,563 --> 00:03:14,260
and some toothpicks.
85
00:03:14,304 --> 00:03:16,131
Pleasure doing business
with you.
86
00:03:16,175 --> 00:03:19,439
-You, too, Fartbox.
-Unh-unh. Not Fartbox.
87
00:03:19,483 --> 00:03:22,616
Good advice, man. Adding more
plant-based proteins to my diet.
88
00:03:22,660 --> 00:03:24,749
And I'll keep in mind
the spirit of the turkey.
89
00:03:24,792 --> 00:03:26,794
[ Both laugh ]
90
00:03:26,838 --> 00:03:29,710
You coming around, baby.
91
00:03:29,754 --> 00:03:33,192
Ah. The showers
are all taken?
92
00:03:33,236 --> 00:03:34,889
[ Water running ]
93
00:03:34,933 --> 00:03:36,978
Yep.
94
00:03:37,022 --> 00:03:38,502
Hey!
95
00:03:38,545 --> 00:03:41,374
Same body wash.
96
00:03:41,418 --> 00:03:42,767
Got to love
that Mountain Mist.
97
00:03:42,810 --> 00:03:45,900
Great minds.
98
00:03:45,944 --> 00:03:47,989
Then again, we do differ
in our choices
99
00:03:48,033 --> 00:03:50,949
of toothpaste flavor.
100
00:03:50,992 --> 00:03:53,778
What kind of person
uses wintergreen?
101
00:03:53,821 --> 00:03:56,171
[ Chuckles ]
102
00:03:56,215 --> 00:03:57,869
What can I say?
I'm a wintergreen guy.
103
00:03:57,912 --> 00:04:01,655
Well, I also heard
that wintergreen
104
00:04:01,699 --> 00:04:04,919
was the flavor...
105
00:04:04,963 --> 00:04:06,356
used by Hitler.
106
00:04:06,399 --> 00:04:08,793
♪♪
107
00:04:08,836 --> 00:04:10,490
[ Clears throat ]
108
00:04:10,534 --> 00:04:16,104
♪♪
109
00:04:16,148 --> 00:04:18,324
[ Muttering indistinctly ]
110
00:04:18,368 --> 00:04:20,326
[ Ethereal new-age
music playing ]
111
00:04:20,370 --> 00:04:21,545
Good morrow,
Your Majesty.
112
00:04:21,588 --> 00:04:23,198
You're late.
113
00:04:23,242 --> 00:04:24,635
You missed
the Stanislavski warm-up.
114
00:04:24,678 --> 00:04:25,766
Jumping right into mirror.
115
00:04:25,810 --> 00:04:27,377
Thank you, mirror.
116
00:04:27,420 --> 00:04:29,857
♪♪
117
00:04:29,901 --> 00:04:32,469
Apologies for being late,
but I just had
118
00:04:32,512 --> 00:04:36,081
a rather
awkward incident.
119
00:04:36,124 --> 00:04:39,040
I ran into Juan Andrés,
you know,
120
00:04:39,084 --> 00:04:43,349
the man I sort of like,
121
00:04:43,393 --> 00:04:45,525
in the restroom.
122
00:04:45,569 --> 00:04:47,658
We were in line for the showers.
123
00:04:47,701 --> 00:04:50,225
I, you know, thought
I'd strike up a conversation,
124
00:04:50,269 --> 00:04:53,359
but it went poorly.
125
00:04:53,403 --> 00:04:57,102
Five, six, seven, eight.
126
00:04:57,145 --> 00:04:59,931
I made a very bad joke...
about Hitler.
127
00:04:59,974 --> 00:05:00,758
-Zip.
-Zap.
128
00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:01,585
-Zop.
-Zip.
129
00:05:01,628 --> 00:05:03,326
-Zap.
-Zop.
130
00:05:03,369 --> 00:05:05,676
I'm sure it was fine.
131
00:05:05,719 --> 00:05:08,374
And lift.
132
00:05:08,418 --> 00:05:10,507
-And scene.
-And scene.
133
00:05:10,550 --> 00:05:12,422
♪♪
134
00:05:12,465 --> 00:05:15,207
How do I show him
that I like him?
135
00:05:15,250 --> 00:05:16,469
Invite him over
for a Hefeweizen
136
00:05:16,513 --> 00:05:18,036
and a light chapter
of "Mein Kampf."
137
00:05:18,079 --> 00:05:19,820
[ Chuckles ]
138
00:05:19,864 --> 00:05:21,431
Really, Maggie,
I need your help.
139
00:05:21,474 --> 00:05:23,650
Oh, good God,
you're obsessed.
140
00:05:23,694 --> 00:05:25,565
What's his profession?
Janitor?
141
00:05:25,609 --> 00:05:28,220
He sells handmade wares.
142
00:05:28,263 --> 00:05:30,309
Then show an interest
in his art or something.
143
00:05:30,353 --> 00:05:32,050
What time is it, anyway?
144
00:05:32,093 --> 00:05:34,226
I need to Nair my widow's peak
before breakfast.
145
00:05:34,269 --> 00:05:36,315
I'm starting to look like
Count Chocula.
146
00:05:36,359 --> 00:05:38,099
[ Indistinct conversations ]
147
00:05:38,143 --> 00:05:39,797
All right, everybody, listen up.
148
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,755
We got a couple things
on the agenda.
149
00:05:41,799 --> 00:05:44,889
There will be no more
25% employee discount
150
00:05:44,932 --> 00:05:47,282
on meals purchased on
the grounds during Faire Days.What?
151
00:05:47,326 --> 00:05:48,936
Lee!
What?
Boo.
152
00:05:48,980 --> 00:05:50,547
Ticket sales dropped
opening weekend.
153
00:05:50,590 --> 00:05:52,026
We got to pick up the slack.
154
00:05:52,070 --> 00:05:53,637
So eat less,
and it won't affect you.
155
00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:55,421
I can survive on a cup
of raw spinach a day.
156
00:05:55,465 --> 00:05:58,250
Okay, moving on.
Uh, the Queen's Royal Tea
157
00:05:58,293 --> 00:06:01,296
will now become
the Queen's Royal Pub Crawl.
158
00:06:01,340 --> 00:06:03,908
Woman: Oh!Profit margins
are higher with booze.
159
00:06:03,951 --> 00:06:07,302
And, uh, Callie, no more
nip slips at the joust.
160
00:06:07,346 --> 00:06:09,522
We had some complaints
from the parents.
161
00:06:09,566 --> 00:06:11,568
Actually, no, just the moms.
The dads were fine with it.
162
00:06:11,611 --> 00:06:13,308
Free the nipple!
163
00:06:13,352 --> 00:06:14,614
[ Cheers and applause ]
164
00:06:14,658 --> 00:06:17,008
Nips!
165
00:06:17,051 --> 00:06:19,140
No more moms!
166
00:06:19,184 --> 00:06:20,838
All right, let's take
this energy outside
167
00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:22,927
and show these people
what the faire is about.
168
00:06:22,970 --> 00:06:25,016
Now, how about three cheers
for the faire?
169
00:06:25,059 --> 00:06:26,713
-Hip hip...
-Huzzah.
170
00:06:26,757 --> 00:06:28,889
-Hip hip...
-Huzzah.
171
00:06:28,933 --> 00:06:32,023
-Hip hip...
-Huzzah!
172
00:06:32,066 --> 00:06:34,808
Come on, guys!
Let's do it!
173
00:06:34,852 --> 00:06:36,593
-Come on, come on, get up.
-Yeah!
174
00:06:36,636 --> 00:06:38,508
-All right, everybody.
-Let's go, freaks!
175
00:06:38,551 --> 00:06:40,205
Man:
All right, everybody,
176
00:06:40,248 --> 00:06:42,729
let's go out there
and make some money!
177
00:06:42,773 --> 00:06:44,905
-[ Clears throat ]
-Oh, God.
178
00:06:44,949 --> 00:06:47,647
-Yes, Maggie?
-The Queen's Tea is a tradition.
179
00:06:47,691 --> 00:06:49,823
I've led it every Faire Day
here since taking on
180
00:06:49,867 --> 00:06:51,259
-the role of Elizabeth.
-Uh-huh.
181
00:06:51,303 --> 00:06:53,958
The little girls sit
and converse with the Queen.
182
00:06:54,001 --> 00:06:56,482
It is vital to show them
how upper-class women behave.
183
00:06:56,526 --> 00:06:59,833
I'm sorry, but we got to pick up
cash wherever we can find it.
184
00:06:59,877 --> 00:07:02,053
I will not besmirch the legacy
of the great Queen
185
00:07:02,096 --> 00:07:04,534
simply to put a couple
of extra shekels in your pocket.
186
00:07:04,577 --> 00:07:08,494
I figured you'd say that,
so I am prepared.
187
00:07:08,538 --> 00:07:10,017
"It is said
that Elizabeth I
188
00:07:10,061 --> 00:07:13,064
drank at least two pints
of ale every day.
189
00:07:13,107 --> 00:07:15,675
In 1593, the royal household
went through
190
00:07:15,719 --> 00:07:18,591
approximately
600,000 gallons of ale,"
191
00:07:18,635 --> 00:07:19,766
signed the Internet.
192
00:07:19,810 --> 00:07:21,464
The Queen drank beer, yes,
193
00:07:21,507 --> 00:07:23,727
but in the refined company
of her ladies-in-waiting.
194
00:07:23,770 --> 00:07:25,990
She never rubbed elbows
with drunken bachelor parties,
195
00:07:26,033 --> 00:07:29,254
nor hairy men
in ironic t-shirts.
196
00:07:29,297 --> 00:07:30,951
Your ladies-in-waiting
will be there with you,
197
00:07:30,995 --> 00:07:34,172
so it will be completely
historically accurate.
198
00:07:34,215 --> 00:07:36,827
Just think of it like
a royal girls' night out.
199
00:07:36,870 --> 00:07:38,306
I don't believe
in girlfriends.
200
00:07:38,350 --> 00:07:40,744
Bitches be haters.
201
00:07:40,787 --> 00:07:42,702
All done?
202
00:07:42,746 --> 00:07:45,879
Why, thank thee, fine sir.
203
00:07:45,923 --> 00:07:49,535
Woman: I should get
a dress like that, right?
204
00:07:49,579 --> 00:07:51,798
Your pitcher, m'lords.
205
00:07:51,842 --> 00:07:53,757
Thank you, m'lady.
A tip for you.
206
00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:55,280
Just the tip?
207
00:07:55,323 --> 00:07:57,021
Frankly, sir,
I'd prefer the whole hog.
208
00:07:57,064 --> 00:07:59,502
-[ Laughs ]
-Oh!
209
00:07:59,545 --> 00:08:01,678
-Hey, Amanda.
-No more free beer, Friar.
210
00:08:01,721 --> 00:08:04,071
-Lee would have my head.
-I'm not here for the booze.
211
00:08:04,115 --> 00:08:06,073
Ophelia, the empty kegs
got to move.
212
00:08:06,117 --> 00:08:08,380
On it. Friar!
213
00:08:08,423 --> 00:08:10,208
-Listen, can you do me a favor?
-Is it sexual?
214
00:08:10,251 --> 00:08:12,384
Because geriatric alcoholics
aren't really my type.
215
00:08:12,427 --> 00:08:14,429
No, no, no, what? Listen,
Natasha usually does my show
216
00:08:14,473 --> 00:08:16,649
at 4:00, but she -- she got
a ribbon burn on the May pole,
217
00:08:16,693 --> 00:08:18,390
and now she needs
to ice her palms.
218
00:08:18,433 --> 00:08:20,261
-So can you fill in?
-Okay, okay, fine, I'll do it.
219
00:08:20,305 --> 00:08:21,872
-Oh, thank you. Thank you.
-If you move, please.
220
00:08:21,915 --> 00:08:23,134
All right. Thanks.
221
00:08:24,918 --> 00:08:27,530
Oh, nice muscles.
222
00:08:27,573 --> 00:08:30,794
Duh. I'm in wedding shape,
which is scientifically proven
223
00:08:30,837 --> 00:08:33,274
to be the hottest moment
of any woman's life.
224
00:08:33,318 --> 00:08:36,887
SoulCycle and kettle bells.
Plus, I cut out grains.
225
00:08:36,930 --> 00:08:38,497
Such a city lady.
226
00:08:38,541 --> 00:08:40,238
-Hey!
-Uh, you are.
227
00:08:40,281 --> 00:08:42,980
It's okay, but you are.
228
00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:44,938
Hmm. Well, could a city lady
do this?
229
00:08:44,982 --> 00:08:48,115
I can smell your French disease
from here.
230
00:08:48,159 --> 00:08:49,769
Back across the channel
with you, pagans!
231
00:08:49,813 --> 00:08:52,598
Hey! Oh, fie, Puritan!
232
00:08:52,642 --> 00:08:55,862
Go jack your beanstalk
onto a communion wafer.
233
00:08:55,906 --> 00:08:58,169
-[ Chuckles ]
-It'll release some frustration.
234
00:09:02,173 --> 00:09:04,741
You know, the high fives were
a little bit anachronistic,
235
00:09:04,784 --> 00:09:06,220
but, I mean,
you're getting there.
236
00:09:06,264 --> 00:09:09,006
You'll blend in,
eventually.
237
00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:11,356
I'm blending in
just fine.
238
00:09:11,399 --> 00:09:15,621
♪♪
239
00:09:15,665 --> 00:09:17,971
All done? Aye.
240
00:09:18,015 --> 00:09:21,279
Patrons, pay attention,
for this man has given me
241
00:09:21,322 --> 00:09:24,325
what every woman desires --
multiples!
242
00:09:24,369 --> 00:09:25,718
[ Laughter ]
243
00:09:25,762 --> 00:09:27,459
Huzzah for the tipper!
244
00:09:27,502 --> 00:09:29,113
-Huzzah!
-Huzzah!
245
00:09:29,156 --> 00:09:32,159
[ Laughter fades ]
246
00:09:32,203 --> 00:09:34,771
♪ Yo, clock in
when the mood strikes ♪
247
00:09:34,814 --> 00:09:37,774
♪ I do what a boss likes,
slowpokes, they look twice ♪
248
00:09:37,817 --> 00:09:40,428
♪ Cold...I'm a Klondike...boys
get curved tough ♪
249
00:09:40,472 --> 00:09:42,126
No. Way.
♪ When a girl gang,
gang roll up ♪
250
00:09:42,169 --> 00:09:43,518
♪ Make a beeline
for the green room ♪
251
00:09:43,562 --> 00:09:45,303
♪ I get money to show up
252
00:09:45,346 --> 00:09:46,652
♪ Break, break, break, break
253
00:09:46,696 --> 00:09:49,437
Ugh.
254
00:09:49,481 --> 00:09:50,700
-Ew.
-Ew.
255
00:09:50,743 --> 00:09:51,831
Ew.
256
00:09:54,051 --> 00:09:55,400
Oh, my God.
257
00:09:55,443 --> 00:09:59,709
Hi!Hi!
Hi!Hi!
258
00:09:59,752 --> 00:10:01,580
Wow.You guys!
This.
259
00:10:01,624 --> 00:10:02,799
What are you doing here?
260
00:10:02,842 --> 00:10:04,365
We came
to check on you, babe.
261
00:10:04,409 --> 00:10:06,019
Nick: I mean, did you think
we forgot about you?
262
00:10:06,063 --> 00:10:07,455
Oh, kind of.
263
00:10:07,499 --> 00:10:09,501
-No.
-You guys!
264
00:10:09,544 --> 00:10:10,850
Uh, c-come sit down?
265
00:10:10,894 --> 00:10:12,417
-Yeah. Let's go.
-Okay.
266
00:10:15,855 --> 00:10:18,553
[ Indistinct conversations ]
267
00:10:18,597 --> 00:10:21,078
Two secs, you guys.
I am dying to catch up.
268
00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:24,298
Yeah. Okay. What in the dorky
hell has gotten into her?
269
00:10:24,342 --> 00:10:25,996
It's like she's been kidnapped
by those drum circle
270
00:10:26,039 --> 00:10:27,345
mole people
in Union Square.
271
00:10:27,388 --> 00:10:29,129
-Uh-huh.
-Those titties, though.
272
00:10:29,173 --> 00:10:31,305
Yes, girl,
those titties.
273
00:10:31,349 --> 00:10:33,394
Lexi, can you actually
stop calling me "girl"?
274
00:10:33,438 --> 00:10:34,961
It's starting
to feel minimizing.
275
00:10:35,005 --> 00:10:36,659
Oh, my God. I would never,
ever want you to feel that.
276
00:10:36,702 --> 00:10:38,878
-I'm so sorry.
-It's okay. It's okay.
277
00:10:38,922 --> 00:10:40,271
I'm mean,
I'm just really grateful
278
00:10:40,314 --> 00:10:42,186
that I could share
my truth with you.
279
00:10:42,229 --> 00:10:44,928
-Love you, bitch.
-Love you, too, bitch. Mwah.
280
00:10:44,971 --> 00:10:47,452
-Sangria. On me.
-Ooh. Thanks, sweetie.
281
00:10:47,495 --> 00:10:48,845
So, is this, like,
your jobjob, or...?
282
00:10:48,888 --> 00:10:50,498
I mean, it's part of it.
283
00:10:50,542 --> 00:10:52,283
Basically, we're all
sort of performers
284
00:10:52,326 --> 00:10:54,198
in a larger production.
285
00:10:54,241 --> 00:10:57,114
We all live communally,
so it's kind of like a kibbutz.
286
00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:58,463
It seems more like
Rajneeshpuram.
287
00:10:58,506 --> 00:10:59,638
-Yeah.
-Ma Anand Sheela
288
00:10:59,682 --> 00:11:01,205
-is a feminist icon.
-Tea.
289
00:11:01,248 --> 00:11:02,249
-Cheers.
-Cheers.
290
00:11:02,293 --> 00:11:03,250
-Yes!
-Cheers.
291
00:11:03,294 --> 00:11:04,643
Oh, no.
292
00:11:04,687 --> 00:11:06,471
So, what's news
with you guys?
293
00:11:06,514 --> 00:11:08,255
Um, well,
Nick hit 10k on Instagram.
294
00:11:08,299 --> 00:11:10,997
And Rachel Zoe
retweeted me.
295
00:11:11,041 --> 00:11:13,217
Yeah, and Lexi's
on a new antidepressant.Yay!
296
00:11:13,260 --> 00:11:15,349
So, and then, with me, you know,
work is work, same thing.
297
00:11:15,393 --> 00:11:17,395
80 hours a week, Postmates for
every meal,
298
00:11:17,438 --> 00:11:19,484
totally worth it.
299
00:11:19,527 --> 00:11:21,878
-That's amazing, you guys.
-Yeah.
300
00:11:21,921 --> 00:11:23,706
God, you look so cute,
by the way, Amanda.
301
00:11:23,749 --> 00:11:26,447
I mean, you are really serving,
like, pure Coachella realness.
302
00:11:26,491 --> 00:11:27,579
-Yeah, you do.
-Honestly, you guys,
303
00:11:27,622 --> 00:11:30,016
I feel amazing.
304
00:11:30,060 --> 00:11:33,019
♪♪
305
00:11:33,063 --> 00:11:34,629
Wow.
[ Chuckles ]
306
00:11:34,673 --> 00:11:37,328
It's just such a shock
seeing you here.
307
00:11:37,371 --> 00:11:39,504
Faire virgins. I hope your first
time doesn't hurt too much.
308
00:11:39,547 --> 00:11:41,071
Hon, look,
we're not here to judge.
309
00:11:41,114 --> 00:11:42,376
I mean, with everything
you've been through,
310
00:11:42,420 --> 00:11:43,377
it makes sense
that you would run off
311
00:11:43,421 --> 00:11:45,510
and do something...different,
312
00:11:45,553 --> 00:11:47,077
um, as you recover
from the stress.
313
00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:48,818
-And humiliation.
-Yeah.
314
00:11:48,861 --> 00:11:50,080
Lexi:
And we're also here to check
315
00:11:50,123 --> 00:11:51,821
that you aren't
totally mentally ill.
316
00:11:51,864 --> 00:11:53,431
Lexi, that was car talk.
317
00:11:53,474 --> 00:11:55,389
-We told you.
-Like four times.
318
00:11:55,433 --> 00:11:57,478
[ Laughs ]
Sorry. It's the new meds.
319
00:11:57,522 --> 00:12:00,090
Oh, my God.
320
00:12:00,133 --> 00:12:03,615
Tankards and flagons
and jugs for sale.
321
00:12:03,658 --> 00:12:06,400
You won't find a better
pair of jugs, milady.
322
00:12:06,444 --> 00:12:08,054
And make sure
you tell your friends.
323
00:12:08,098 --> 00:12:09,577
Fill it to the top with mead,
324
00:12:09,621 --> 00:12:12,711
and you'll need
a carriage ride home!
325
00:12:12,755 --> 00:12:14,800
Well met, Juan Andrés.
326
00:12:14,844 --> 00:12:17,934
Uh, hi.
327
00:12:17,977 --> 00:12:19,892
Come, get your flagons!
328
00:12:19,936 --> 00:12:23,374
My, what beautiful wares.
329
00:12:23,417 --> 00:12:26,812
What are these made of?
330
00:12:26,856 --> 00:12:28,118
Cow horns.
331
00:12:28,161 --> 00:12:30,947
Makes sense.
Aah.
332
00:12:30,990 --> 00:12:32,775
Flagons, tankards, milady.
333
00:12:32,818 --> 00:12:35,299
Oh!
And pray tell,
334
00:12:35,342 --> 00:12:38,215
what about
this, uh, gorgeous
335
00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:41,827
suede-like canteen?
336
00:12:41,871 --> 00:12:43,568
Suede.
337
00:12:43,611 --> 00:12:45,178
Suede?
338
00:12:45,222 --> 00:12:47,267
Suede.
339
00:12:47,311 --> 00:12:48,965
-Milady.
-Milord.
340
00:12:49,008 --> 00:12:52,272
Tankards and flagons
and jugs for sale!
341
00:12:52,316 --> 00:12:56,276
Oh, this --
Now, this is so lovely.
342
00:12:56,320 --> 00:12:59,279
I can imagine pouring myself
a Montepulciano
343
00:12:59,323 --> 00:13:02,761
or some other Old World red
in one of these.
344
00:13:02,805 --> 00:13:05,590
Are you, mayhaps,
also a wine-drink--
345
00:13:05,633 --> 00:13:07,026
[ Ceramic shatters ]Oh.
346
00:13:07,070 --> 00:13:09,028
Oh, fie.
347
00:13:09,072 --> 00:13:10,856
I-I-I am so sorry.
348
00:13:10,900 --> 00:13:12,553
I-I will pay
for all of these.
349
00:13:12,597 --> 00:13:14,381
It's okay.
I make these myself,
350
00:13:14,425 --> 00:13:17,907
so it's just lost time.
351
00:13:17,950 --> 00:13:20,823
You make all these
ceramic mugs yourself?
352
00:13:20,866 --> 00:13:23,086
Out of...
353
00:13:23,129 --> 00:13:25,479
Clay.
354
00:13:25,523 --> 00:13:27,786
Clay.
355
00:13:27,830 --> 00:13:32,095
Welcome, my countrymen,
to the Queen's...Pub Crawl.
356
00:13:32,138 --> 00:13:34,662
As you toast the monarchy,
you may approach
357
00:13:34,706 --> 00:13:36,708
and ask any questions you'd like
358
00:13:36,751 --> 00:13:40,146
about our daily lives
in the court.
359
00:13:40,190 --> 00:13:42,714
Is it true you guys, like,
never took showers?
360
00:13:42,757 --> 00:13:44,847
Did the Queen have to poop
in a bucket?[ Laughter ]
361
00:13:44,890 --> 00:13:46,326
Please, let us keep
the questions
362
00:13:46,370 --> 00:13:48,459
related to
our courtly life.
363
00:13:48,502 --> 00:13:51,592
For instance, can you guess
how many ladies-in-waiting
364
00:13:51,636 --> 00:13:54,552
I did host
in my time as queen?
365
00:13:54,595 --> 00:13:56,336
-69!
-69!
366
00:13:56,380 --> 00:13:59,122
[ Laughter ]
367
00:13:59,165 --> 00:14:01,385
Ah, hear ye, hear ye.
368
00:14:01,428 --> 00:14:04,779
Uh, the Queen commands that
whomever can consume their beer
369
00:14:04,823 --> 00:14:07,652
with the most haste
shall be made lady-in-waiting
370
00:14:07,695 --> 00:14:08,827
-for the day.
-Wow.
371
00:14:08,871 --> 00:14:10,307
And you can be a guy.
372
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:12,657
Or however you may identify.
373
00:14:12,700 --> 00:14:14,964
[ Cheers and applause ]
374
00:14:15,007 --> 00:14:18,184
Yes, what a civilized idea.
375
00:14:18,228 --> 00:14:20,491
On my count, drink.
376
00:14:20,534 --> 00:14:22,972
One, two, three.
377
00:14:26,627 --> 00:14:28,760
-Yeah!
-Yes!
378
00:14:28,803 --> 00:14:30,718
-Oh!
-Whoo-hoo!
379
00:14:30,762 --> 00:14:33,591
I suppose I must declare a tie
380
00:14:33,634 --> 00:14:36,724
between these two, um,
spirited wenches.
381
00:14:36,768 --> 00:14:39,423
-Um, please, join my court.
-Yes!
382
00:14:39,466 --> 00:14:41,294
-Sweet!
-And as our first duty
383
00:14:41,338 --> 00:14:44,036
on the Queen's court,
we're doing shots.
384
00:14:44,080 --> 00:14:45,298
[ Cheers and applause ]
385
00:14:45,342 --> 00:14:46,517
No, no, no, I shan't.
386
00:14:46,560 --> 00:14:48,301
Chug it, your horniness.
387
00:14:48,345 --> 00:14:49,781
-Chug it, your horniness.
-Chug it, your horniness.
388
00:14:49,824 --> 00:14:51,391
All: [ Chanting ]
Chug it, your horniness.
389
00:14:51,435 --> 00:14:54,438
The Queen drank.
And shots cost extra.
390
00:14:54,481 --> 00:14:56,266
Come on.
What would Daniel Day-Lewis do?
391
00:14:56,309 --> 00:14:57,963
He'd retire.
392
00:14:58,007 --> 00:14:59,573
-Chug it, your horniness!
-Chug it, your horniness!
393
00:14:59,617 --> 00:15:01,401
Chug it, your horniness!Chug it, your horniness!
394
00:15:01,445 --> 00:15:03,926
[ Cheers and applause ]
395
00:15:03,969 --> 00:15:08,017
♪♪
396
00:15:14,458 --> 00:15:15,938
O0 C1Nick: I feel like this is
my new summer drink.What is this?ome more.
397
00:15:15,981 --> 00:15:17,461
Lexi: Morgan.It's honestly, like, disgusting.
398
00:15:17,504 --> 00:15:20,377
-Oh, my God.
-It's di-- Uh --
399
00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:21,508
Oh, my God.
400
00:15:21,552 --> 00:15:23,641
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
401
00:15:23,684 --> 00:15:25,817
Okay, who are those
shiny people?
402
00:15:25,860 --> 00:15:27,558
They're my friends
from home.
403
00:15:27,601 --> 00:15:29,821
Oh, my gosh! Fun! I'll go
spray 'em with bubble water.
404
00:15:29,864 --> 00:15:31,127
No!
405
00:15:31,170 --> 00:15:33,346
They're not
those kind of people.
406
00:15:33,390 --> 00:15:35,653
-I'm actually really nervous?
-How come?
407
00:15:35,696 --> 00:15:37,611
It's the whole
mixing-worlds thing.
408
00:15:37,655 --> 00:15:39,265
You know when you introduce
your yoga friends
409
00:15:39,309 --> 00:15:40,440
to your Pilates friends,
410
00:15:40,484 --> 00:15:43,008
and the vibe
is just super different?
411
00:15:43,052 --> 00:15:45,880
[ Sighs ]
412
00:15:45,924 --> 00:15:47,534
I need
for them to like it.
413
00:15:47,578 --> 00:15:50,494
Oh, they're like you were
three weeks ago --
414
00:15:50,537 --> 00:15:54,106
a newborn baby possum,
blind and small-headed.
415
00:15:54,150 --> 00:15:56,848
But then you grew up to be
a warm, smushy,
416
00:15:56,891 --> 00:15:59,503
sighted
woodland creature.
417
00:15:59,546 --> 00:16:00,983
This pertains how?
418
00:16:01,026 --> 00:16:02,810
Show them the faire
through your eyes.
419
00:16:02,854 --> 00:16:04,029
Then they'll be sold.
420
00:16:04,073 --> 00:16:05,726
I vote more alcohol.
421
00:16:05,770 --> 00:16:07,641
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Good idea.
422
00:16:07,685 --> 00:16:10,122
Yeah.
423
00:16:10,166 --> 00:16:13,212
I feel like we've been here
for 500 hours.
424
00:16:13,256 --> 00:16:14,648
-More sangria?
-[ Gasps ] Yes, please.
425
00:16:14,692 --> 00:16:16,433
-Yes, Mom.
-Fun, right?
426
00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:18,783
I mean, yeah, if by "fun,"
you mean super offensive.
427
00:16:18,826 --> 00:16:20,350
-Thank you.
-What is with all
428
00:16:20,393 --> 00:16:22,526
the horny nerd humor?
It's like, I feel like
429
00:16:22,569 --> 00:16:24,093
the only girl in, like,
a Fortnite chat room.
430
00:16:24,136 --> 00:16:25,964
Oh, come on. It's 1585.
431
00:16:26,008 --> 00:16:27,270
Things were different
back then.
432
00:16:27,313 --> 00:16:28,836
Um, well,
but it's not back then.
433
00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:30,882
It's now pretending
to be back then.
434
00:16:30,925 --> 00:16:33,580
Actually, it's a super
empowering place for women.
435
00:16:33,624 --> 00:16:36,409
It's super inclusive and
non-judgey and body positive.
436
00:16:36,453 --> 00:16:38,846
-Like the Trevor Project.
-No.
437
00:16:38,890 --> 00:16:41,240
Fine wenches,
438
00:16:41,284 --> 00:16:44,069
you all look delicious.
439
00:16:44,113 --> 00:16:47,072
I wish I could give each of you
a long, steady ride
440
00:16:47,116 --> 00:16:49,335
on my horse.
441
00:16:49,379 --> 00:16:51,772
-A rose, milady?
-From you? God, no.
442
00:16:51,816 --> 00:16:53,905
I'd literally rather get a rose
from Arie Luyendyk --
443
00:16:53,948 --> 00:16:56,690
All: The most hated Bachelor
of all time.
444
00:16:56,734 --> 00:16:59,563
[ Lively folk music playing
in distance ]
445
00:16:59,606 --> 00:17:01,869
-But you should take --
-I'll take a flower, sir.
446
00:17:01,913 --> 00:17:07,310
♪♪
447
00:17:07,353 --> 00:17:09,181
[ All gasp ]
448
00:17:09,225 --> 00:17:10,704
Oh!
449
00:17:10,748 --> 00:17:13,098
[ All muttering indistinctly ]
450
00:17:13,142 --> 00:17:15,448
♪♪
451
00:17:15,492 --> 00:17:17,668
[ All gasp ]
452
00:17:17,711 --> 00:17:19,931
Morgan: Ugh.
453
00:17:19,974 --> 00:17:22,977
Meet me at the joust
at 2:00 and 30.
454
00:17:23,021 --> 00:17:24,892
I'll ride for thine honor.
455
00:17:24,936 --> 00:17:26,329
[ Music stops,
applause in distance ]
456
00:17:26,372 --> 00:17:27,721
[ Nick whispers indistinctly ]
457
00:17:27,765 --> 00:17:30,159
Lexi:
It's so hot. [ Sighs ]
458
00:17:30,202 --> 00:17:32,248
Lexi, what just
happened to me?
459
00:17:32,291 --> 00:17:34,728
Amanda, you were
just assaulted.
460
00:17:34,772 --> 00:17:35,816
Totally.
461
00:17:35,860 --> 00:17:37,383
I feel triggered.
462
00:17:37,427 --> 00:17:39,429
I'm fine.
Like I said,
463
00:17:39,472 --> 00:17:41,431
things are different here.
464
00:17:41,474 --> 00:17:43,955
There's a familiar vibe
between performers.
465
00:17:43,998 --> 00:17:46,131
He just made out with your neck.
Do you even know him?
466
00:17:46,175 --> 00:17:48,133
Yeah, I've seen him around.
He's like a jouster.
467
00:17:48,177 --> 00:17:50,266
Like from "A Knight's Tale"?
Heath Ledger
468
00:17:50,309 --> 00:17:51,658
-was my sexual awakening.
-Oh, my God.
469
00:17:51,702 --> 00:17:53,399
-Oh, my God. Me, too.
-Hashtag "MeToo."
470
00:17:53,443 --> 00:17:54,748
Stop it!
That is not a joke!
471
00:17:54,792 --> 00:17:56,794
Ow.
[ Snickering ]
472
00:17:56,837 --> 00:17:59,449
Amanda, this is
your workplace, okay?
473
00:17:59,492 --> 00:18:01,059
You need to stand up
for consent.
474
00:18:01,103 --> 00:18:03,453
Okay, okay, fine,
but can we just take a beat
475
00:18:03,496 --> 00:18:05,411
and appreciate this faire?
476
00:18:05,455 --> 00:18:08,806
It's super fun, I swear.
477
00:18:08,849 --> 00:18:10,286
Hmm.
478
00:18:10,329 --> 00:18:11,722
[ Singsong voice ]
There's shopping!
479
00:18:11,765 --> 00:18:13,767
-[ Gasps ] Yes!
-Okay. Grab my drink.
480
00:18:13,811 --> 00:18:15,247
Okay, can you put it up?
481
00:18:15,291 --> 00:18:16,596
-Like here?
-'Cause that's not a good angle.
482
00:18:16,640 --> 00:18:17,597
-Yeah.
-Like that?
483
00:18:17,641 --> 00:18:19,077
Woman: Huzzah!
484
00:18:19,121 --> 00:18:22,211
♪♪
485
00:18:22,254 --> 00:18:24,430
[ Retches ]
486
00:18:24,474 --> 00:18:26,693
I'm sorry to be, like,
that person,
487
00:18:26,737 --> 00:18:29,000
but do they have anything
that's paleo here?
488
00:18:29,043 --> 00:18:30,306
Cucumber mint water?
489
00:18:30,349 --> 00:18:31,785
What about turkey legs?
490
00:18:31,829 --> 00:18:35,049
Yes, bitch. Pure lean protein.
Thank you.
491
00:18:35,093 --> 00:18:37,574
[ Clears throat ]
Who's a city lady?
492
00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:41,795
♪♪
493
00:18:41,839 --> 00:18:43,188
Man: Take dead aim!
494
00:18:43,232 --> 00:18:44,581
Try your luck.
495
00:18:44,624 --> 00:18:49,194
♪♪
496
00:18:49,238 --> 00:18:51,153
I see you, Legolas!
497
00:18:51,196 --> 00:18:54,068
Whew. Orlando Bloom wishes
he looked this good.
498
00:18:54,112 --> 00:18:56,114
Tankards and flagons!
Show me your jugs,
499
00:18:56,158 --> 00:18:58,072
-and I'll show you mine.
-Seriously?
500
00:18:58,116 --> 00:19:01,206
Would it hurt you to trynot
to commodify women's bodies?
501
00:19:01,250 --> 00:19:04,427
[ Laughing ]
502
00:19:04,470 --> 00:19:05,906
It's fine.
503
00:19:05,950 --> 00:19:07,560
♪♪
504
00:19:07,604 --> 00:19:08,692
[ Giggles ]
505
00:19:08,735 --> 00:19:10,215
-Yes!
-You. Guys.
506
00:19:10,259 --> 00:19:11,564
-This --
-Mean.
507
00:19:11,608 --> 00:19:13,610
-Much.
-It's you. Literally you.
508
00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:15,525
Do you guys take
AmEx black?
509
00:19:15,568 --> 00:19:17,614
[ Lisping ]
You bet your ass they do.
510
00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:19,398
[ Indistinct conversations
in distance ]
511
00:19:26,275 --> 00:19:29,103
-Who was that?
-No one.
512
00:19:29,147 --> 00:19:32,281
No one.
513
00:19:32,324 --> 00:19:35,066
Wait, wait,
you have to try this on.Yes.
514
00:19:35,109 --> 00:19:39,679
This faire is full of debauchery
and disgusting behavior!
515
00:19:39,723 --> 00:19:42,334
Oh, my God.
Thank you. Yes.
516
00:19:42,378 --> 00:19:45,642
The wanton whores should be
drawn and quartered,
517
00:19:45,685 --> 00:19:47,992
lest they corrupt young men
518
00:19:48,035 --> 00:19:50,299
-seeking virgin wives.
-Oh, wait.
519
00:19:50,342 --> 00:19:52,257
No. Women are -- are not
property.
520
00:19:52,301 --> 00:19:53,780
-You're missing it. You're --
-A woman's value
521
00:19:53,824 --> 00:19:55,304
lies in her maidenhead.
522
00:19:55,347 --> 00:19:57,044
Disgusting!
523
00:19:57,088 --> 00:20:00,396
Ooh, aye! Here's a bunch
of filthy peasants!
524
00:20:00,439 --> 00:20:04,617
Aye! Come back to the washer
wench show at 3:00 and 30,
525
00:20:04,661 --> 00:20:07,272
where getting clean
never felt so dirty.
526
00:20:07,316 --> 00:20:09,274
-[ Grunts, hums ]
-I'm sorry.
527
00:20:09,318 --> 00:20:11,755
Did you guys just call
yourselves "washer wenches"?
528
00:20:11,798 --> 00:20:13,887
A wench be
a working girl.
529
00:20:13,931 --> 00:20:15,628
-Aye, aye.
-Okay, but don't you think
530
00:20:15,672 --> 00:20:17,891
you could have come up
with, like, a more woke name
531
00:20:17,935 --> 00:20:20,416
-than that?
-More woke?
532
00:20:20,459 --> 00:20:22,548
"Woke" being
a culturally black term
533
00:20:22,592 --> 00:20:26,160
recently appropriated
by mainstream America?
534
00:20:26,204 --> 00:20:29,947
Just want to make sure I'm
hearing you correctly...Becky.
535
00:20:32,906 --> 00:20:34,168
Uh --
536
00:20:35,866 --> 00:20:38,172
Hello? Oh, yeah.
537
00:20:38,216 --> 00:20:42,307
I'm so sorry about her
and her Becky-ism.
538
00:20:42,351 --> 00:20:44,962
Nay, nay,
good mistress Ophelia!
539
00:20:45,005 --> 00:20:47,225
Have thee a pleasant day!
540
00:20:47,269 --> 00:20:49,575
-Mm!
-Aye.
541
00:21:00,891 --> 00:21:02,327
O0 C1[ [ Slurring ]ng,
Oh, actually, actually,
542
00:21:02,371 --> 00:21:04,982
I did sleep with many men
out of wedlock.
543
00:21:05,025 --> 00:21:07,201
Lord Chancellor
Christopher Hatton,
544
00:21:07,245 --> 00:21:09,726
the second Earl of Essex
Robert Devereux,
545
00:21:09,769 --> 00:21:11,205
Sir Walter Raleigh.
546
00:21:11,249 --> 00:21:13,599
Oh, you are such
a whore, you!
547
00:21:13,643 --> 00:21:15,645
You --
548
00:21:15,688 --> 00:21:19,388
[ All shrieking, laughing ]
549
00:21:19,431 --> 00:21:22,565
Cheers to the Queen
and her breast friends!
550
00:21:22,608 --> 00:21:24,958
[ All cheering ]
551
00:21:27,831 --> 00:21:29,789
Oh.
552
00:21:29,833 --> 00:21:32,575
I suppose you are
my best lady friends.
553
00:21:32,618 --> 00:21:35,534
Barkeep, can I have
another, please?
554
00:21:35,578 --> 00:21:38,145
And one
for my dear friend...
555
00:21:38,189 --> 00:21:41,105
♪♪
556
00:21:41,148 --> 00:21:43,977
Who are you?
557
00:21:44,021 --> 00:21:45,414
-I'm Alicia.
-Mm?
558
00:21:45,457 --> 00:21:48,330
We've worked together
for three summers.
559
00:21:48,373 --> 00:21:51,594
Alicia, you must tell me
everything about yourself.
560
00:21:51,637 --> 00:21:56,381
Are you, as I suspect,
from a troubled home?
561
00:21:56,425 --> 00:21:58,601
You have such sad eyes.
562
00:21:58,644 --> 00:22:00,646
♪♪
563
00:22:00,690 --> 00:22:02,648
♪ What do you do
with a drunken sailor? ♪
564
00:22:02,692 --> 00:22:04,737
♪ What do you do
with a drunken sailor? ♪
565
00:22:04,781 --> 00:22:09,873
♪ What do you do with a drunken
sailor earlye in the mornin'? ♪
566
00:22:09,916 --> 00:22:12,484
Oh. Mug him in the subway
and take his Guccis!
567
00:22:12,528 --> 00:22:14,486
♪ Mug him in the subway
and take his Guccis ♪
568
00:22:14,530 --> 00:22:16,358
♪ Mug him in the subway
and take his Guccis ♪
569
00:22:16,401 --> 00:22:18,098
♪ Mug him in the subway
and take his Guccis ♪
570
00:22:18,142 --> 00:22:20,579
♪ Earlye in the morning
571
00:22:20,623 --> 00:22:22,320
I have one!
572
00:22:22,364 --> 00:22:24,191
Aw, man, I forgot.
573
00:22:24,235 --> 00:22:28,108
♪ Aw, man, she forgot,
aw, man, she forgot ♪
574
00:22:28,152 --> 00:22:34,680
♪ Aw, man, she forgot
earlye in the mornin' ♪
575
00:22:34,724 --> 00:22:36,813
[ Cheers and applause ]
576
00:22:40,294 --> 00:22:42,427
I mean, look, I'm --
I'll say it -- issa bop.
577
00:22:42,471 --> 00:22:45,474
[ Laughter ]
578
00:22:45,517 --> 00:22:48,390
Amanda, Amanda, look,
there's your assaulter.
579
00:22:48,433 --> 00:22:50,435
Oh, Morgan,
he didn't assault me.
580
00:22:50,479 --> 00:22:52,002
Oh, really? So you're just
not gonna confront him
581
00:22:52,045 --> 00:22:54,221
about his toxic behavior?
582
00:22:54,265 --> 00:22:56,615
Okay, no, yeah, no.
I just, you know --
583
00:22:56,659 --> 00:22:58,312
I thought you were
a feminist, Amanda.
584
00:23:01,925 --> 00:23:05,711
Hey.
Um, sir, uh, Jouster.
585
00:23:05,755 --> 00:23:07,670
-Hi. Um, so...
-Hi.
586
00:23:07,713 --> 00:23:10,020
I think that we need to define
some workplace boundaries.
587
00:23:10,063 --> 00:23:12,239
When you kissed me earlier,
I have to acknowledge
588
00:23:12,283 --> 00:23:15,808
that it wasn't something that
I technically consented to.
589
00:23:15,852 --> 00:23:18,768
Uh, I didn't
tell you to stop,
590
00:23:18,811 --> 00:23:21,379
but I didn't
joyfully consent.
591
00:23:21,423 --> 00:23:23,294
Not that I'm saying
you're the Cat Person
592
00:23:23,337 --> 00:23:25,209
from that New Yorkerpiece.
You are so not the Cat Person.
593
00:23:25,252 --> 00:23:27,037
-I'm actually attracted to you.
-Nice.
594
00:23:27,080 --> 00:23:28,734
-Not that that's relevant.
-It's not.
595
00:23:28,778 --> 00:23:33,086
Anyway...
I hope that makes sense.
596
00:23:33,130 --> 00:23:34,523
Do you need any
clarification?
597
00:23:34,566 --> 00:23:37,395
No. [ Chuckles ]
I don't have any allergies.
598
00:23:37,439 --> 00:23:39,615
Listen, I got to go
brush my horse.
599
00:23:39,658 --> 00:23:41,834
But we should
hook up sometime.
600
00:23:41,878 --> 00:23:45,751
[ Indistinct conversations ]
601
00:23:45,795 --> 00:23:47,449
Amanda. Amanda.
602
00:23:47,492 --> 00:23:48,798
-Huh?
-Hi.
603
00:23:48,841 --> 00:23:51,322
-Oh.
-Me? Yeah. I'm genuinely worried
604
00:23:51,365 --> 00:23:53,063
about your safety here, okay?
605
00:23:53,106 --> 00:23:55,152
This is like one giant
pussy-grabbing party.
606
00:23:55,195 --> 00:23:57,415
Morgan, you don't have to worry.Okay, but it's not just about
607
00:23:57,459 --> 00:23:58,851
the aggrosexual jouster,
all right?
608
00:23:58,895 --> 00:24:00,418
It's this whole culture.
609
00:24:00,462 --> 00:24:02,028
Like, women
are objects here.
610
00:24:02,072 --> 00:24:04,291
-Amanda! Amanda, you're up.
-Yes?
611
00:24:04,335 --> 00:24:06,642
-Oh, right, right, right.
-Let's go, let's go, let's go.
612
00:24:06,685 --> 00:24:11,081
Listen, this is an amazing place
for women to feel empowered.
613
00:24:11,124 --> 00:24:12,648
I swear we're not
just objects here.
614
00:24:12,691 --> 00:24:17,696
Wench auction!
615
00:24:17,740 --> 00:24:19,742
[ Cheers and applause ]
616
00:24:19,785 --> 00:24:23,267
Gentlemen and
not so gentle ladies,
617
00:24:23,310 --> 00:24:26,662
we have some fine wenches
to be auctioned to you today.
618
00:24:26,705 --> 00:24:28,664
And you can pay fair price...
619
00:24:28,707 --> 00:24:31,536
or not![ Laughter ]
620
00:24:31,580 --> 00:24:33,495
I'll start the bidding.
621
00:24:33,538 --> 00:24:36,149
No.
With this lovely woman
622
00:24:36,193 --> 00:24:39,109
in the queer attire.
623
00:24:39,152 --> 00:24:41,633
Bid it up, boys.[ Men cheering ]
624
00:24:41,677 --> 00:24:46,203
Now, can I start this bidding
at one plague rat?
625
00:24:46,246 --> 00:24:47,247
Man:
Aye! One plague rat.
626
00:24:47,291 --> 00:24:48,510
10 dead penguins.
627
00:24:48,553 --> 00:24:49,554
A sickly sheep!
628
00:24:49,598 --> 00:24:50,990
10 bales of hay!
629
00:24:51,034 --> 00:24:53,036
I bid my ex-wife!
630
00:24:53,079 --> 00:24:54,472
[ Laughter ]
631
00:24:54,516 --> 00:24:56,474
-That might be it!
-Two yards of wool
632
00:24:56,518 --> 00:24:58,215
-and a young lamb.
-Sold!
633
00:24:58,258 --> 00:25:00,913
To the gentleman with
questionable motives.
634
00:25:00,957 --> 00:25:03,263
[ Cheers and applause ]
635
00:25:06,266 --> 00:25:08,312
Ah, they're made
for each other.
636
00:25:08,355 --> 00:25:10,096
[ Cheers and applause ]
637
00:25:10,140 --> 00:25:11,576
Huzzah.
638
00:25:11,620 --> 00:25:15,145
[ Cheers and applause ]
639
00:25:15,188 --> 00:25:19,671
Next up, the faire's own
dirty pub wench,
640
00:25:19,715 --> 00:25:22,369
Ophelia Feelsgood!
641
00:25:22,413 --> 00:25:23,632
[ Cheers and applause ]
642
00:25:23,675 --> 00:25:26,069
-Come on, Ophelia!
-Whoo!
643
00:25:26,112 --> 00:25:29,072
Shut up.
644
00:25:29,115 --> 00:25:32,379
I'm so glad to be participating
in this event,
645
00:25:32,423 --> 00:25:33,990
because I love
participating in events
646
00:25:34,033 --> 00:25:37,559
where women
support other women.
647
00:25:37,602 --> 00:25:39,691
Show us your tits!
648
00:25:39,735 --> 00:25:42,085
[ Cheers and applause ]
649
00:25:45,958 --> 00:25:48,395
Yo, band nerds,
drop a beat.
650
00:25:48,439 --> 00:25:51,268
[ Lively folk music playing ]
651
00:25:51,311 --> 00:25:53,705
-What's happening?
-Women supporting women?
652
00:25:53,749 --> 00:25:55,707
Huh? Whoa.
[ Screaming ]
653
00:25:55,751 --> 00:25:57,491
[ Cheers and applause ]
654
00:25:57,535 --> 00:26:04,934
♪♪
655
00:26:04,977 --> 00:26:07,371
Whoo!
656
00:26:07,414 --> 00:26:10,026
-Oh.
-Yas!
657
00:26:10,069 --> 00:26:11,897
Whoo!
658
00:26:11,941 --> 00:26:19,601
♪♪
659
00:26:19,644 --> 00:26:23,561
[ Cheers and applause ]
660
00:26:23,605 --> 00:26:27,434
Now, folks, that surely
is worth a bid.
661
00:26:27,478 --> 00:26:29,567
I bid a shepherd's pie
662
00:26:29,611 --> 00:26:31,177
and my ax!
663
00:26:31,221 --> 00:26:32,352
Only?
664
00:26:32,396 --> 00:26:33,527
[ Lisping ]
My ovaries.
665
00:26:33,571 --> 00:26:35,921
A grande
iced mochachino!
666
00:26:35,965 --> 00:26:37,227
A bucket of dead skin!
667
00:26:37,270 --> 00:26:38,445
Thick stick!
668
00:26:38,489 --> 00:26:39,751
A dozen sheep!
669
00:26:39,795 --> 00:26:41,535
Some of 'em with four legs.
670
00:26:41,579 --> 00:26:43,189
You can do better than that,
Pizzle.
671
00:26:43,233 --> 00:26:45,931
And tat for two
from Zabar's.
672
00:26:45,975 --> 00:26:48,804
-Ooh.
-Stick.
673
00:26:48,847 --> 00:26:50,675
A castle in France!
674
00:26:50,719 --> 00:26:54,157
Okay, we're done. Come on.[ Cheers and applause ]
675
00:26:54,200 --> 00:26:57,769
Sold!
[ Laughs ]
676
00:26:57,813 --> 00:27:00,337
Let's go.You're taking this
too seriously, Morgan.
677
00:27:00,380 --> 00:27:02,469
Oh, really? You were just
mock-sold for sex. Okay?
678
00:27:02,513 --> 00:27:04,036
So, you're welcome, B-T-dubs,
for making it stop.
679
00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:05,908
Obviously,
it was just for fun.
680
00:27:05,951 --> 00:27:07,561
Well, what if a bunch
of little girls saw you?
681
00:27:07,605 --> 00:27:08,693
What kind of message
are you sending?
682
00:27:08,737 --> 00:27:10,477
Maybe if little girls
saw me,
683
00:27:10,521 --> 00:27:12,566
they would see that it isn't
negative to be sexual.
684
00:27:12,610 --> 00:27:14,046
There's a difference
between being sexual
685
00:27:14,090 --> 00:27:15,700
and being sexualized.
686
00:27:15,744 --> 00:27:20,313
Fair maiden, you were
positively fantastic.
687
00:27:20,357 --> 00:27:22,925
We always present this
to our favorite at the auction.
688
00:27:22,968 --> 00:27:25,405
-Uh-oh.
-And you were far and away
689
00:27:25,449 --> 00:27:27,277
the --
drumroll, please --
690
00:27:27,320 --> 00:27:29,192
[ Both imitate drumroll ]
691
00:27:29,235 --> 00:27:31,324
-Wenchiest Wench!
-Wenchiest Wench!
692
00:27:31,368 --> 00:27:33,675
Oh.[ Both imitating fanfare ]
693
00:27:33,718 --> 00:27:36,112
Oh, no. Oh, wow.
694
00:27:36,155 --> 00:27:37,983
[ Both continue
imitating fanfare ]
695
00:27:38,027 --> 00:27:39,724
[ Sighs ]
Guys.
696
00:27:39,768 --> 00:27:41,160
[ Chuckles ]
697
00:27:41,204 --> 00:27:43,510
Thank you so much.
698
00:27:43,554 --> 00:27:47,123
[ Chuckles ]
699
00:27:47,166 --> 00:27:49,386
You're not really gonna
wear that thing.
700
00:27:49,429 --> 00:27:51,954
Oh, Morgan,
can you just relax?
701
00:27:51,997 --> 00:27:54,304
"Just relax"? [ Scoffs ]
Wow. What a privileged concept.
702
00:27:54,347 --> 00:27:55,740
Yeah, I wish
I could just relax,
703
00:27:55,784 --> 00:27:57,524
but unlike your horny,
little fantasy camp,
704
00:27:57,568 --> 00:28:02,051
the real world has consequences
for sexual harassment.
705
00:28:02,094 --> 00:28:05,141
Morgan's in the middle of
a lawsuit against her ex-boss.
706
00:28:05,184 --> 00:28:09,014
Yeah, he groped her.
A lot.
707
00:28:09,058 --> 00:28:11,495
Oh, my God.
Morgan, I'm -- I'm so sorry.
708
00:28:11,538 --> 00:28:13,715
-I had no idea.
-Exactly.
709
00:28:13,758 --> 00:28:15,717
Exactly. You have no idea
what anyoneis going through,
710
00:28:15,760 --> 00:28:18,720
yet you're 100% convinced
that all of this objectification
711
00:28:18,763 --> 00:28:21,635
and toxic masculinity
is just for fun, okay?
712
00:28:21,679 --> 00:28:23,681
So, yeah, go win Wenchiest Wench
for the patriarchy.
713
00:28:23,725 --> 00:28:25,683
-Or for losers like them.
-Hey!
714
00:28:25,727 --> 00:28:28,207
What? They are part of
the problem. Everyone here is.
715
00:28:28,251 --> 00:28:31,036
People like them,
anyone who comes here,
716
00:28:31,080 --> 00:28:33,256
can say what works
and what doesn't.
717
00:28:33,299 --> 00:28:35,301
I'm sorry
it's upsetting to you.
718
00:28:35,345 --> 00:28:37,390
And I'm sorry about what
you're going through, truly.
719
00:28:37,434 --> 00:28:38,783
But you can't take it out
720
00:28:38,827 --> 00:28:40,959
on good, kind people
like Bo and Jenny,
721
00:28:41,003 --> 00:28:43,832
who are trying to just get away
from the real world
722
00:28:43,875 --> 00:28:46,356
and find someplace where
they feel like they can belong.
723
00:28:48,706 --> 00:28:51,143
So...
724
00:28:51,187 --> 00:28:54,016
If you don't like it here,
then you should just leave.
725
00:28:58,934 --> 00:29:01,023
[ Scoffs ]
726
00:29:01,066 --> 00:29:03,416
I don't even know
who you are right now.
727
00:29:03,460 --> 00:29:05,984
God. What the hell am I gonna
tell your mother?
728
00:29:06,028 --> 00:29:07,725
Why do you have
to tell her anything?
729
00:29:10,772 --> 00:29:13,122
-Did she send you here?
-It's -- She -- I --
730
00:29:13,165 --> 00:29:14,993
Would you guys have even
come if she hadn't?
731
00:29:15,037 --> 00:29:16,342
-Yes.
-Of course we would have.
732
00:29:16,386 --> 00:29:19,215
-She lent us her 'Cedes.
-Oh, stop it.
733
00:29:19,258 --> 00:29:22,348
♪♪
734
00:29:22,392 --> 00:29:25,525
Listen, I --
I love you, Amanda.
735
00:29:25,569 --> 00:29:28,224
I do.
I really do, okay?
736
00:29:28,267 --> 00:29:30,356
But this?
737
00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:33,316
I can't.
738
00:29:33,359 --> 00:29:36,623
-Hello?
-Okay.
739
00:29:36,667 --> 00:29:38,887
Look, you should totally
bone that jouster.
740
00:29:38,930 --> 00:29:40,845
And if he's good,
just give him my number.
741
00:29:40,889 --> 00:29:42,455
-Mm-hmm.
-He reads bi.
742
00:29:42,499 --> 00:29:44,370
[ Chuckles ]
743
00:29:44,414 --> 00:29:46,633
I like dressing slutty.
744
00:29:46,677 --> 00:29:49,811
Love you, Amanda.
745
00:29:49,854 --> 00:29:52,422
[ Man shouting
indistinctly in distance ]
746
00:29:52,465 --> 00:29:54,554
[ Cheers and applause
in distance ]
747
00:29:54,598 --> 00:29:59,124
♪♪
748
00:29:59,168 --> 00:29:59,255
O0 C1
749
00:29:59,298 --> 00:30:01,648
[ Muttering indistinctly ]
750
00:30:04,956 --> 00:30:06,566
[ Sobs ]
751
00:30:06,610 --> 00:30:08,655
Should I text him?
I should text him, right?
752
00:30:08,699 --> 00:30:10,788
Actually, I think it's time
to move on.
753
00:30:10,832 --> 00:30:13,965
Oh, how wise.
It is time to move on.
754
00:30:14,009 --> 00:30:16,272
No, it's time
for usto move on
755
00:30:16,315 --> 00:30:18,056
to the next stop
on the Pub Crawl.
756
00:30:18,100 --> 00:30:20,058
We paid 60 bucks
for this.
757
00:30:20,102 --> 00:30:21,712
-Fine.
-Bye.
758
00:30:21,755 --> 00:30:23,409
Fair thee well.
759
00:30:23,453 --> 00:30:24,976
Rest you merry.
760
00:30:25,020 --> 00:30:26,630
Mm...
761
00:30:29,502 --> 00:30:32,027
Oh, whoa, whoa,
whoa, okay.
762
00:30:32,070 --> 00:30:34,159
I think you've had enough,
Your Highness. Let's trade.
763
00:30:34,203 --> 00:30:35,682
Ah, Lee.
764
00:30:35,726 --> 00:30:37,902
Lee, Lee.
765
00:30:37,946 --> 00:30:41,123
What is this life, huh?
766
00:30:41,166 --> 00:30:44,517
You and me know the truth,
right?
767
00:30:44,561 --> 00:30:45,779
What's that, Maggie?
768
00:30:45,823 --> 00:30:49,044
The truth is
that we're all alone.
769
00:30:49,087 --> 00:30:51,394
We'll always be alone.
770
00:30:51,437 --> 00:30:53,004
God is dead.
771
00:31:00,533 --> 00:31:02,231
-Uh...
-Mm?
772
00:31:04,973 --> 00:31:06,800
Maggie...
773
00:31:09,499 --> 00:31:11,805
...I love you.
Truly.
774
00:31:11,849 --> 00:31:13,851
I've always thought
you were beautiful and dark
775
00:31:13,895 --> 00:31:16,898
and deliciously
complicated.
776
00:31:16,941 --> 00:31:18,247
And hearing
that you're lonely like me
777
00:31:18,290 --> 00:31:21,511
just makes me
love you more.
778
00:31:21,554 --> 00:31:22,947
I think you're
the perfect woman.
779
00:31:22,991 --> 00:31:24,340
And you're drunk right now,
780
00:31:24,383 --> 00:31:28,257
so I don't want this
to get all rapey, but...
781
00:31:28,300 --> 00:31:30,737
I wish
you were my girlfriend.
782
00:31:36,787 --> 00:31:37,875
[ Vomiting ]
783
00:31:37,919 --> 00:31:39,355
Oh!
784
00:31:44,142 --> 00:31:46,057
-[ Mutters indistinctly ]
-Is she okay?
785
00:31:46,101 --> 00:31:47,841
Yeah, just very,
very drunk.
786
00:31:47,885 --> 00:31:52,455
I have to go
numbers 1, 2, and 3.
787
00:31:52,498 --> 00:31:54,979
-I'll take her from here.
-Yep.
788
00:31:55,023 --> 00:31:57,590
-Do I look pretty?
-Yes, dear.
789
00:31:57,634 --> 00:31:59,766
Would you believe me
if I told you I was in my 30s?
790
00:31:59,810 --> 00:32:02,030
-Yes, dear.
-Do you think Daniel Day-Lewis
791
00:32:02,073 --> 00:32:04,902
wore his Lincoln hat
while he slept and showered?
792
00:32:04,946 --> 00:32:06,121
Yes, dear.
793
00:32:06,164 --> 00:32:07,644
You're my best friend.
794
00:32:07,687 --> 00:32:09,298
Yep.
795
00:32:09,341 --> 00:32:11,865
♪♪
796
00:32:11,909 --> 00:32:14,520
[ Guitar tuning ]
797
00:32:14,564 --> 00:32:18,263
[ Indistinct conversations ]
798
00:32:18,307 --> 00:32:20,309
I know, I know --
I'm drinking again.
799
00:32:20,352 --> 00:32:23,921
But if you would refrain from
mentioning anything about that,
800
00:32:23,965 --> 00:32:25,792
that would be
very much appreciated.
801
00:32:25,836 --> 00:32:27,881
Actually, I was going to say
I'm impressed.
802
00:32:27,925 --> 00:32:29,579
Drinking discount
cooler beer?
803
00:32:29,622 --> 00:32:30,972
Very un-city-lady of you.
804
00:32:31,015 --> 00:32:33,365
So now you give me credit.
805
00:32:33,409 --> 00:32:35,106
Finally.
806
00:32:35,150 --> 00:32:38,153
[ Sighs ]
807
00:32:38,196 --> 00:32:40,024
Tough day?
808
00:32:40,068 --> 00:32:42,722
My lady friends are a lot.
809
00:32:42,766 --> 00:32:44,724
-Spence or Brearley?
-Spence?
810
00:32:44,768 --> 00:32:47,162
[ British accent ]
How very dare you?
811
00:32:47,205 --> 00:32:49,164
[ Normal voice ] Brearley.
Wait, how did you know that?
812
00:32:49,207 --> 00:32:51,079
Oh, I'm from the city.
813
00:32:51,122 --> 00:32:52,863
Shut up!
814
00:32:52,906 --> 00:32:54,865
-What?!
-You shut up.
815
00:32:54,908 --> 00:32:56,780
Wh-Where?
Where are you from?
816
00:32:56,823 --> 00:32:57,999
Wait, no, let me guess,
let me guess,
817
00:32:58,042 --> 00:33:00,479
let me guess.
Okay, okay, okay. Mm...
818
00:33:00,523 --> 00:33:03,308
Lower East Side, artist parents?Unh-unh. No.
819
00:33:03,352 --> 00:33:04,396
Upper West Side,
820
00:33:04,440 --> 00:33:05,441
-journalist parents?
-No.
821
00:33:05,484 --> 00:33:06,920
No? Okay. Uh...
822
00:33:06,964 --> 00:33:09,706
Greenpoint,
Polish bakers?
823
00:33:09,749 --> 00:33:11,273
[ Imitates buzzer ]
824
00:33:11,316 --> 00:33:13,797
-Chelsea, two dads?
-[ Laughing ] No.
825
00:33:13,840 --> 00:33:15,494
Where are you from?Hey, dude,
why didn't you bid on me?
826
00:33:15,538 --> 00:33:17,801
Only one chick
dressed like Shrek bid on me.
827
00:33:17,844 --> 00:33:19,585
-It was humiliating.
-I'm sorry, man.
828
00:33:19,629 --> 00:33:21,935
But I'm sure that you're gonna
make a very handsome couple.
829
00:33:21,979 --> 00:33:25,200
-[ Laughs ]
-Well...
830
00:33:25,243 --> 00:33:27,028
You r-really
hurt me today.
831
00:33:29,291 --> 00:33:32,076
Oh, man, he is
a delicate flower.
832
00:33:32,120 --> 00:33:33,556
Your friends
are a handful, too.
833
00:33:33,599 --> 00:33:35,079
Ah,
he's just showing off.
834
00:33:35,123 --> 00:33:37,821
He likes to prove
he has feelings.
835
00:33:37,864 --> 00:33:40,215
-Hey, you want another beer?
-Uh-huh.
836
00:33:40,258 --> 00:33:43,087
The more discount,
the better.
837
00:33:43,131 --> 00:33:44,828
I miss you
in the hot tub, baby.
838
00:33:44,871 --> 00:33:47,178
Hot tub?
Who's got a hot tub?
839
00:33:47,222 --> 00:33:48,875
It's hitched
to Helen's bus.
840
00:33:48,919 --> 00:33:50,442
I heard she bought it
off the tour manager
841
00:33:50,486 --> 00:33:52,270
for Country-Palooza.
842
00:33:52,314 --> 00:33:54,925
Your mom must be hella rich.
843
00:33:54,968 --> 00:33:56,970
[ Laughter, cheering
in distance ]
844
00:33:57,014 --> 00:33:59,060
Okay, new rule, guys.
You can only soak in the Jacuzzi
845
00:33:59,103 --> 00:34:01,497
if you're butt-ass naked.
846
00:34:01,540 --> 00:34:04,282
-Cool.
-Ohh, about to get so naked.
847
00:34:04,326 --> 00:34:06,893
[ Both laughing ]
848
00:34:06,937 --> 00:34:10,636
Indeed. Very cool.
849
00:34:10,680 --> 00:34:13,770
Yeah, that's all on you.
That's you. Okay.
850
00:34:13,813 --> 00:34:15,380
David: Damn, that's a lot
of man titties.
851
00:34:15,424 --> 00:34:17,121
-That's cool.
-Whoo!
852
00:34:17,165 --> 00:34:20,733
[ All cheering, laughing ]
853
00:34:20,777 --> 00:34:22,039
Helen:
Are you farting?
854
00:34:22,083 --> 00:34:24,737
-Wine?
-God, yes.
855
00:34:24,781 --> 00:34:28,654
Can't go wring with
a Willamette Valley Pinot.
856
00:34:28,698 --> 00:34:32,005
[ Helen speaking indistinctly
in distance ]
857
00:34:32,049 --> 00:34:34,051
-Thank you.
-Mm-hmm. Ah.
858
00:34:36,488 --> 00:34:37,837
[ Glasses clink ]
859
00:34:40,927 --> 00:34:42,625
Mmm.
860
00:34:44,888 --> 00:34:47,151
What brings Shakespeare
down to the Groundlings
861
00:34:47,195 --> 00:34:50,546
-without his Royal --
-Do not say hag.
862
00:34:50,589 --> 00:34:54,158
-Not nice.
-I was gonna say therapy dog.
863
00:34:54,202 --> 00:34:55,899
She's passed out.
864
00:34:55,942 --> 00:34:58,771
Got absolutely wasted
on the Pub Crawl today.
865
00:34:58,815 --> 00:35:01,818
Oh, wow. That's --
866
00:35:01,861 --> 00:35:04,734
That's kind of amazing.
867
00:35:04,777 --> 00:35:07,171
She was not very helpful
to me today
868
00:35:07,215 --> 00:35:09,130
as a friend.
869
00:35:09,173 --> 00:35:10,827
You okay?
870
00:35:21,577 --> 00:35:23,448
-There's a guy.
-Mm?
871
00:35:23,492 --> 00:35:26,190
Juan Andrés.
872
00:35:26,234 --> 00:35:29,585
And I like him.
873
00:35:29,628 --> 00:35:31,326
Mm. You guys would be
great together.
874
00:35:31,369 --> 00:35:33,241
What's the game plan?
875
00:35:33,284 --> 00:35:35,678
-The game plan?
-Yeah, what's next steps?
876
00:35:35,721 --> 00:35:39,377
Well, I made a fool of myself
in front of him twice today,
877
00:35:39,421 --> 00:35:40,944
so I think my next step
878
00:35:40,987 --> 00:35:43,381
is to dig a hole
and go to sleep in it.
879
00:35:43,425 --> 00:35:45,688
Oh, come on.
It can't be that bad.
880
00:35:45,731 --> 00:35:48,778
I fear that it really,
really was.
881
00:35:48,821 --> 00:35:50,214
Oh.
882
00:35:52,564 --> 00:35:54,784
♪♪
883
00:35:54,827 --> 00:35:58,048
Then you got to
go fix it. Mm?
884
00:35:58,091 --> 00:36:00,093
-Now?
-Yes, now.
885
00:36:00,137 --> 00:36:03,662
We get so caught up
in our own limitations,
886
00:36:03,706 --> 00:36:06,448
how we think
we're supposed to be,
887
00:36:06,491 --> 00:36:08,232
how people want us to be,
888
00:36:08,276 --> 00:36:11,714
but this place is teaching me
to live in the now.
889
00:36:11,757 --> 00:36:13,585
You got to be present.
890
00:36:13,629 --> 00:36:15,239
-Be in the now.
-Yeah.
891
00:36:15,283 --> 00:36:16,545
-Yes!
-Yes!
892
00:36:16,588 --> 00:36:18,590
You got to go get him!
893
00:36:18,634 --> 00:36:20,505
-Yes!
-Yes. Go ask him out!
894
00:36:20,549 --> 00:36:22,072
Wow.
895
00:36:22,115 --> 00:36:23,943
Right.
896
00:36:23,987 --> 00:36:25,380
-Okay. Okay.
-Uh-huh.
897
00:36:25,423 --> 00:36:26,946
[ Laughs ]
898
00:36:26,990 --> 00:36:28,252
-Go!
-Wish me luck.
899
00:36:28,296 --> 00:36:30,559
G-Go get yours, Tiger.
900
00:36:30,602 --> 00:36:33,214
♪♪
901
00:36:33,257 --> 00:36:35,259
[ Sighs ]
902
00:36:35,303 --> 00:36:42,005
♪♪
903
00:36:42,048 --> 00:36:48,664
♪♪
904
00:36:48,707 --> 00:36:55,279
♪♪
905
00:36:58,282 --> 00:37:04,114
♪♪
906
00:37:04,157 --> 00:37:09,902
♪♪
907
00:37:09,946 --> 00:37:11,861
Hi, there.
908
00:37:11,904 --> 00:37:13,602
Hello, Juan Andrés.
909
00:37:13,645 --> 00:37:15,604
I just came by to tell you
910
00:37:15,647 --> 00:37:20,086
that I'm really very sorry
about today,
911
00:37:20,130 --> 00:37:24,265
and that the reason I was
acting like such a jackass
912
00:37:24,308 --> 00:37:28,573
is that I, uh --
913
00:37:28,617 --> 00:37:31,228
I'd like to...
914
00:37:31,272 --> 00:37:34,318
be your friend.
915
00:37:34,362 --> 00:37:37,321
Would you maybe
like to be my friend
916
00:37:37,365 --> 00:37:39,584
and hang out
with me sometime?
917
00:37:41,717 --> 00:37:43,719
I'm watching
"Seven Samurai."
918
00:37:43,762 --> 00:37:45,329
Want to join?
919
00:37:47,984 --> 00:37:49,507
Yes.
920
00:37:49,551 --> 00:37:50,682
Sure.
921
00:37:50,726 --> 00:37:52,249
I -- Right now?
922
00:37:52,293 --> 00:37:54,338
-Yes. Now.
-Okay. Yeah, I'm -- I'm free.
923
00:37:54,382 --> 00:37:55,774
Yeah.
924
00:37:55,818 --> 00:37:57,950
Here you go.
925
00:37:57,994 --> 00:37:59,474
Oh. [ Chuckles ]
926
00:37:59,517 --> 00:38:00,605
Okay.
927
00:38:00,649 --> 00:38:01,824
Such a classic.
928
00:38:01,867 --> 00:38:03,652
Sucha classic.
929
00:38:03,695 --> 00:38:06,176
I love classics.
930
00:38:06,219 --> 00:38:09,484
Toshiro Mifune. I like him
even better in "Rashomon."
931
00:38:09,527 --> 00:38:10,789
-Oh, yes.
-Yeah.
932
00:38:10,833 --> 00:38:13,879
Yes.
933
00:38:13,923 --> 00:38:16,708
Actually, I've
never seen either.
934
00:38:16,752 --> 00:38:19,494
Are they, uh, good?
[ Chuckles ]
935
00:38:19,537 --> 00:38:21,496
[ Chuckles ]
So good.
936
00:38:21,539 --> 00:38:23,759
Akira Kurosawa?
You'd dig him.
937
00:38:23,802 --> 00:38:25,587
"Throne of Blood"
owes a ton to "Macbeth,"
938
00:38:25,630 --> 00:38:28,416
and "Ran" is "King Lear,"
beat for beat.
939
00:38:28,459 --> 00:38:30,896
"King Lear's" my favorite.
940
00:38:30,940 --> 00:38:33,812
I'd do it at the faire, but it's
not exactly a crowd pleaser.
941
00:38:33,856 --> 00:38:35,336
-Mm.
-If I had a nickel
942
00:38:35,379 --> 00:38:37,250
for every time
I had to perform,
943
00:38:37,294 --> 00:38:40,993
"But soft, what light
through yonder window breaks?"
944
00:38:41,037 --> 00:38:44,170
"Romeo, Romeo,
wherefore art thou Romeo?"
945
00:38:44,214 --> 00:38:45,998
[ Both laugh ]
946
00:38:46,042 --> 00:38:47,348
Of course, they all
think that means,
947
00:38:47,391 --> 00:38:49,611
"Where are you, Romeo?"
when it really means...
948
00:38:49,654 --> 00:38:51,700
-Why are you Romeo?
-Why are you Romeo?
949
00:39:08,586 --> 00:39:11,284
Brian?
950
00:39:11,328 --> 00:39:12,634
Yes?
951
00:39:12,677 --> 00:39:15,419
I was so nervous
around you today.
952
00:39:15,463 --> 00:39:17,203
[ Chuckles ]
953
00:39:17,247 --> 00:39:20,293
I was nervous around you.
954
00:39:20,337 --> 00:39:23,862
Every time I saw you,
I got all weird and quiet.
955
00:39:23,906 --> 00:39:25,908
I didn't know what to say.
956
00:39:25,951 --> 00:39:28,911
Uh, I made a joke
about Hitler.
957
00:39:28,954 --> 00:39:31,827
I mean, you kind of actually
called meHitler.
958
00:39:31,870 --> 00:39:35,265
[ Both laugh ]
959
00:39:35,308 --> 00:39:40,792
Well, I'm really happy
that we're friends now.
960
00:39:40,836 --> 00:39:43,273
I have enough friends.
961
00:39:46,581 --> 00:39:56,460
♪♪
962
00:39:56,504 --> 00:39:58,854
[ Horse snorting ]
963
00:39:58,897 --> 00:40:04,990
♪♪
964
00:40:22,268 --> 00:40:24,401
-Hey.
-Hey.
965
00:40:29,406 --> 00:40:31,277
[ Grunts, sighs ]
966
00:40:33,062 --> 00:40:36,935
[ Rooster crows ]
967
00:40:36,979 --> 00:40:39,155
[ Smooches ]
968
00:40:43,638 --> 00:40:45,291
That's right.
969
00:40:47,685 --> 00:40:51,210
So, I'm gonna go?
970
00:40:51,254 --> 00:40:54,083
Whatever.
No pressure.
971
00:40:54,126 --> 00:40:55,867
[ Horse snorts ]
972
00:40:55,911 --> 00:40:57,478
Yeah.
973
00:40:57,521 --> 00:40:59,131
No pressure.
974
00:41:02,004 --> 00:41:04,441
Living in the now.
975
00:41:04,485 --> 00:41:06,487
Hey, Ananda?
976
00:41:06,530 --> 00:41:10,621
It's Amanda.
977
00:41:10,665 --> 00:41:13,189
Nice fucking.
978
00:41:13,232 --> 00:41:17,193
Yeah. Nice fucking.
979
00:41:17,236 --> 00:41:19,064
Ooh.
980
00:41:19,108 --> 00:41:23,591
♪♪
981
00:41:23,634 --> 00:41:25,462
Ooh.
982
00:41:25,506 --> 00:41:30,423
♪♪
983
00:41:30,467 --> 00:41:33,557
[ Indistinct conversations ]
984
00:41:33,601 --> 00:41:35,690
[ Cellphone ringing ]
985
00:41:37,866 --> 00:41:39,563
[ Sighs ]
986
00:41:39,607 --> 00:41:41,304
[ Cellphone beeps ]
987
00:41:41,347 --> 00:41:43,567
Mom, I know what you did.
988
00:41:43,611 --> 00:41:45,700
How could you send my friends?
989
00:41:45,743 --> 00:41:47,353
Seriously?
Nice one.
990
00:41:47,397 --> 00:41:49,660
Amanda, it's Erin.
991
00:41:49,704 --> 00:41:52,881
Mom O.D.'d.
Get your ass home.
992
00:41:52,924 --> 00:41:55,405
♪♪
993
00:41:58,626 --> 00:42:06,721
O0 C1♪♪
994
00:42:06,764 --> 00:42:14,946
♪♪
995
00:42:14,990 --> 00:42:23,085
♪♪
65010
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof