All language subtitles for 3rd Rock From the Sun - 03x22 - Just Your Average Dick.Unspecified.English.HI.updated.Addic7ed.com

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,569 --> 00:00:08,373 [Grumbling] 2 00:00:08,375 --> 00:00:11,843 Damn that channel 9 weatherman! 3 00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:13,678 What? It's not raining. 4 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:15,380 I know. I cut through his yard, 5 00:00:15,382 --> 00:00:17,482 and the sprinklers went off. 6 00:00:21,186 --> 00:00:23,155 Car wash again? 7 00:00:23,157 --> 00:00:24,723 Do you see any soap? 8 00:00:26,859 --> 00:00:29,694 Dr. albright, they're having a reception for that new Professor. 9 00:00:29,696 --> 00:00:31,129 Oh. Dr. neesam. 10 00:00:31,131 --> 00:00:32,397 Mm-hmm. Should I rsvp? 11 00:00:32,399 --> 00:00:33,598 Please. 12 00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:34,832 Oh, uh, me, too, Nina. 13 00:00:36,836 --> 00:00:38,402 Dick, this guy's kind of a big shot, 14 00:00:38,404 --> 00:00:40,504 so when you meet him, try not to act so... 15 00:00:40,506 --> 00:00:42,240 Brilliant? No. 16 00:00:42,242 --> 00:00:43,341 Athletic? 17 00:00:43,343 --> 00:00:44,176 Uh, well-- 18 00:00:44,178 --> 00:00:45,443 gorgeous? 19 00:00:45,445 --> 00:00:47,012 Weird. 20 00:00:47,014 --> 00:00:49,247 Weird as in sexy? 21 00:00:49,249 --> 00:00:51,116 Weird as in weird. 22 00:00:51,118 --> 00:00:52,784 Oh, so suddenly I'm weird. 23 00:00:52,786 --> 00:00:55,520 Not so suddenly, dick. 24 00:00:55,522 --> 00:00:57,388 I said it today, I said it yesterday, 25 00:00:57,390 --> 00:00:58,990 I say it every day. 26 00:00:58,992 --> 00:01:00,091 Oh, I thought 27 00:01:00,093 --> 00:01:02,194 that was just a running joke we had. 28 00:01:02,196 --> 00:01:03,661 I'd do something, 29 00:01:03,663 --> 00:01:05,296 then after the fire trucks left, 30 00:01:05,298 --> 00:01:07,899 you'd let me have it. Ha ha. All in good fun. 31 00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:09,901 Dick, you and your family-- 32 00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:11,402 I know you mean well, 33 00:01:11,404 --> 00:01:14,606 but sometimes it's like being around the Addams family. 34 00:01:14,608 --> 00:01:15,474 Well... 35 00:01:15,476 --> 00:01:17,909 I will admit that John Adams' views 36 00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:19,411 of a strong central government 37 00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:21,947 may have been ahead of their time-- 38 00:01:21,949 --> 00:01:24,749 that's not who I meant. 39 00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:26,885 John Quincy Adams?! 40 00:01:26,887 --> 00:01:29,320 You're comparing me to that freak show?! 41 00:01:41,968 --> 00:01:43,368 Oh! 42 00:01:46,706 --> 00:01:48,907 Tommy, tell me if this milk tastes bad. 43 00:01:51,477 --> 00:01:53,978 We're kind of busy right now, Sally. 44 00:01:53,980 --> 00:01:56,915 We have to write about our family's history for class. 45 00:01:56,917 --> 00:01:57,949 Ok. Um... 46 00:01:57,951 --> 00:02:00,819 My family came to America in 1852 47 00:02:00,821 --> 00:02:02,053 on a Dutch schooner. 48 00:02:02,055 --> 00:02:03,822 How about yours? 49 00:02:07,259 --> 00:02:08,460 Well, um, 50 00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:10,829 my great-grandfather, uh... 51 00:02:10,831 --> 00:02:13,264 Escaped from the Nazis through the alps 52 00:02:13,266 --> 00:02:17,702 with his family and their singing nanny. 53 00:02:17,704 --> 00:02:18,836 Um, Tommy? 54 00:02:18,838 --> 00:02:19,871 Yeah? 55 00:02:19,873 --> 00:02:21,873 That's the sound of music. 56 00:02:21,875 --> 00:02:23,475 Yeah, I know. 57 00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:25,977 And don't think that we're not suing! 58 00:02:27,646 --> 00:02:28,646 Hey. 59 00:02:28,648 --> 00:02:30,147 Don't throw that away. 60 00:02:30,149 --> 00:02:31,482 Oh. Why, do you recycle? 61 00:02:31,484 --> 00:02:33,351 No. 62 00:02:33,353 --> 00:02:35,620 I'm trying to get into the guinness book of world records 63 00:02:35,622 --> 00:02:38,623 for the world's biggest can collection. 64 00:02:38,625 --> 00:02:39,891 How many do you have? 65 00:02:39,893 --> 00:02:42,827 So far? Just the one. 66 00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:44,395 Oh. August. 67 00:02:44,397 --> 00:02:45,930 I'm glad you're here. 68 00:02:45,932 --> 00:02:47,098 Tell me, 69 00:02:47,100 --> 00:02:48,800 do you think that we are weird? 70 00:02:53,773 --> 00:02:55,540 Well, um... I don't think that-- 71 00:02:55,542 --> 00:02:57,675 oh, come on, come on. I won't be offended. 72 00:02:57,677 --> 00:02:59,110 You can be honest. 73 00:03:01,247 --> 00:03:02,246 Um...Sometimes... 74 00:03:02,248 --> 00:03:03,581 You can be a little... 75 00:03:03,583 --> 00:03:04,515 Weird. 76 00:03:06,284 --> 00:03:08,019 And you're a pedantic little twerp! 77 00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:09,487 Now get out of the house! 78 00:03:11,424 --> 00:03:13,458 Why does everybody keep saying that we're weird? 79 00:03:14,293 --> 00:03:15,594 Jealousy. 80 00:03:15,596 --> 00:03:17,362 No, come on. This is important. 81 00:03:17,364 --> 00:03:19,663 Our mission is to be average human beings. 82 00:03:19,665 --> 00:03:22,600 Is it possible that we're not fitting in as well as we think? 83 00:03:25,738 --> 00:03:28,340 Well, dick, you can be a little weird. 84 00:03:28,342 --> 00:03:30,475 You're the weirdo. 85 00:03:30,477 --> 00:03:33,645 Weird as in sexy? 86 00:03:33,647 --> 00:03:34,946 You're both freaks. 87 00:03:34,948 --> 00:03:36,948 Oh, yeah, compared to you? 88 00:03:36,950 --> 00:03:38,950 [All talking at once] 89 00:03:38,952 --> 00:03:40,252 Hey, hey. 90 00:03:40,254 --> 00:03:41,853 Anybody got a can? 91 00:03:43,222 --> 00:03:46,257 Harry, tell me if this milk tastes bad. 92 00:04:25,030 --> 00:04:26,831 Dick: Family meeting! Family meeting! 93 00:04:26,833 --> 00:04:28,332 What you got there? 94 00:04:28,334 --> 00:04:29,333 Books. Lots of books. 95 00:04:29,335 --> 00:04:30,334 What for? 96 00:04:30,336 --> 00:04:31,368 We're not fitting in. 97 00:04:31,370 --> 00:04:33,471 Apparently, being human involves 98 00:04:33,473 --> 00:04:35,306 more than just 2 arms, 2 legs, 99 00:04:35,308 --> 00:04:37,742 and the occasional major orifice. 100 00:04:37,744 --> 00:04:40,544 What we have here is the almanacs of man. 101 00:04:40,546 --> 00:04:43,347 Statistics on lifestyles and behavioral studies. 102 00:04:43,349 --> 00:04:46,250 We've got to become completely average Americans, 103 00:04:46,252 --> 00:04:48,452 and that takes work! Now, come on, start reading. 104 00:04:48,454 --> 00:04:49,253 Ah, look! 105 00:04:49,255 --> 00:04:50,821 It says the average American 106 00:04:50,823 --> 00:04:54,625 uses 4.1 pounds of butter a year. 107 00:04:54,627 --> 00:04:55,926 Orally? 108 00:04:58,396 --> 00:05:01,298 It says that the average American commute is 22 minutes. 109 00:05:01,300 --> 00:05:02,299 Oh, no. 110 00:05:02,301 --> 00:05:04,936 I'm only 5 minutes from work. 111 00:05:04,938 --> 00:05:07,705 Tomorrow take the riding mower. 112 00:05:08,740 --> 00:05:09,740 Ok. 113 00:05:09,742 --> 00:05:11,742 Statistically, at least one of us 114 00:05:11,744 --> 00:05:13,043 should be divorced by now. 115 00:05:13,045 --> 00:05:13,844 Ooh! 116 00:05:13,846 --> 00:05:16,313 I want that one! 117 00:05:16,315 --> 00:05:20,618 And 10% of us should be gay. 118 00:05:20,620 --> 00:05:24,355 That's not why we got divorced. 119 00:05:24,357 --> 00:05:26,090 10% is a minority. 120 00:05:26,092 --> 00:05:27,491 We've got to go with the majority, 121 00:05:27,493 --> 00:05:28,592 the average. 122 00:05:28,594 --> 00:05:29,627 Oh. Ok. 123 00:05:29,629 --> 00:05:31,529 The average family of 4 124 00:05:31,531 --> 00:05:33,664 lives in a 3-bedroom residence. 125 00:05:34,733 --> 00:05:36,400 We're going to have to move. 126 00:05:36,402 --> 00:05:38,135 You better tell dubcek. 127 00:05:38,137 --> 00:05:39,470 Oh, she's going to be upset. 128 00:05:39,472 --> 00:05:40,972 No. I'm sure she'll be fine. 129 00:05:40,974 --> 00:05:41,973 Mrs. dubcek! 130 00:05:41,975 --> 00:05:42,974 Mrs. dubcek: What? 131 00:05:42,976 --> 00:05:43,975 We're moving! 132 00:05:43,977 --> 00:05:46,810 Mrs. dubcek: Like hell you are! 133 00:05:49,881 --> 00:05:52,783 And this area, which I've designated "x," 134 00:05:52,785 --> 00:05:54,719 is the guest suite, which opens into "y," 135 00:05:54,721 --> 00:05:58,622 creating a lovely area for entertaining: "Z." 136 00:05:58,624 --> 00:06:00,357 Is it cable-ready? 137 00:06:00,359 --> 00:06:03,494 Does the walk-in closet have ample storage space? 138 00:06:03,496 --> 00:06:04,728 I don't know. 139 00:06:04,730 --> 00:06:06,997 I'm just telling you: It does. 140 00:06:06,999 --> 00:06:09,601 Dr. Solomon, does the university know 141 00:06:09,603 --> 00:06:11,369 that you're using your class time 142 00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:13,170 to try and sublet your apartment? 143 00:06:13,172 --> 00:06:14,305 Just for that, Karen, 144 00:06:14,307 --> 00:06:16,840 you're going to miss out on this unique opportunity. 145 00:06:16,842 --> 00:06:18,075 How much is the rent? 146 00:06:18,077 --> 00:06:19,276 325 a month. 147 00:06:19,278 --> 00:06:20,144 Cool! I'm in! 148 00:06:20,146 --> 00:06:22,046 That's less than my mom charges! 149 00:06:26,618 --> 00:06:29,087 Uh, come on in, fellas. 150 00:06:29,089 --> 00:06:30,821 Watch your step. 151 00:06:30,823 --> 00:06:32,456 Well, this is it. 152 00:06:32,458 --> 00:06:33,657 Cool! 153 00:06:33,659 --> 00:06:35,126 Party! 154 00:06:36,928 --> 00:06:38,328 I want you boys to know 155 00:06:38,330 --> 00:06:39,797 I'm in bed by 11:00. 156 00:06:39,799 --> 00:06:42,099 Oh. Well, you know, we'll keep it down. 157 00:06:42,101 --> 00:06:43,134 No, I just... 158 00:06:43,136 --> 00:06:44,435 Wanted you to know. 159 00:06:49,407 --> 00:06:51,308 This is the living room... 160 00:06:51,310 --> 00:06:52,977 Well, I think we're ready. 161 00:06:52,979 --> 00:06:54,546 Good-bye, Mrs. dubcek. 162 00:06:54,548 --> 00:06:57,549 I believe it was Mr. William Shakespeare who said, 163 00:06:57,551 --> 00:06:59,183 "parting is such sweet sorrow--" 164 00:06:59,185 --> 00:07:01,018 bye-bye now. 165 00:07:01,020 --> 00:07:03,821 Well, onward to a new life. 166 00:07:08,927 --> 00:07:09,927 Wow. 167 00:07:09,929 --> 00:07:12,129 Everything's so beige. 168 00:07:12,131 --> 00:07:13,464 Hmm. A perfectly neutral color 169 00:07:13,466 --> 00:07:14,832 for perfectly neutral living. 170 00:07:14,834 --> 00:07:17,001 Hey! I've seen this before. 171 00:07:17,003 --> 00:07:19,369 This is stain-resistant carpet. Look. 172 00:07:26,111 --> 00:07:27,845 That's a good place for a chair. 173 00:07:29,414 --> 00:07:31,682 Everything's falling into place. 174 00:07:31,684 --> 00:07:33,317 Yeah, but something 175 00:07:33,319 --> 00:07:37,354 isn't quite right... 176 00:07:40,025 --> 00:07:41,025 Does it fit? 177 00:07:41,027 --> 00:07:42,026 Mine does. 178 00:07:42,028 --> 00:07:43,027 It feels great! 179 00:07:43,029 --> 00:07:43,961 Look out! 180 00:07:53,838 --> 00:07:54,838 [Popping] 181 00:07:54,840 --> 00:07:56,473 You know, it is amazing 182 00:07:56,475 --> 00:07:58,142 the advances the swedes have made 183 00:07:58,144 --> 00:07:59,810 in the science of furniture, 184 00:07:59,812 --> 00:08:00,811 especially considering 185 00:08:00,813 --> 00:08:03,647 they have only one known tool. 186 00:08:03,649 --> 00:08:05,048 This stuff is genius. 187 00:08:05,050 --> 00:08:06,049 You guys, 188 00:08:06,051 --> 00:08:08,753 look what I got! 189 00:08:08,755 --> 00:08:11,188 America's number one pain reliever, 190 00:08:11,190 --> 00:08:13,624 America's leading chunky peanut butter, 191 00:08:13,626 --> 00:08:16,060 and America's favorite mustard 192 00:08:16,062 --> 00:08:17,995 for over 50 years. 193 00:08:17,997 --> 00:08:19,964 Hey, this bread is recommended 194 00:08:19,966 --> 00:08:21,265 by 4 out of 5 dentists 195 00:08:21,267 --> 00:08:23,000 for their patients who chew bread. 196 00:08:23,002 --> 00:08:24,802 Guys, I have a date with Mary. 197 00:08:24,804 --> 00:08:26,804 Which shirt looks, better, this one... 198 00:08:26,806 --> 00:08:28,339 Or this one? 199 00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:29,807 [Knock on door] 200 00:08:35,380 --> 00:08:36,380 Hi. 201 00:08:36,382 --> 00:08:37,615 Hi. Come in. 202 00:08:37,617 --> 00:08:38,783 Hi. I'm flora. 203 00:08:38,785 --> 00:08:39,784 And I'm Steve. 204 00:08:39,786 --> 00:08:40,785 I'm dick. 205 00:08:40,787 --> 00:08:42,052 Hi, dick. Are those dockers? 206 00:08:42,054 --> 00:08:43,187 Yes, they are! 207 00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:44,788 I have those exact pants. 208 00:08:44,790 --> 00:08:47,958 Well, we just wanted to welcome you to the building. 209 00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:49,760 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. 210 00:08:49,762 --> 00:08:52,763 By the way, is that your red convertible parked outside? 211 00:08:52,765 --> 00:08:55,065 Oh, don't worry. We'll be replacing it soon 212 00:08:55,067 --> 00:08:58,068 with a minivan or a sport-utility vehicle. 213 00:08:58,070 --> 00:08:59,570 Good choice. 214 00:08:59,572 --> 00:09:01,405 And, uh... Your assigned parking spot 215 00:09:01,407 --> 00:09:02,706 is g-14. 216 00:09:02,708 --> 00:09:06,176 And so you know, we don't do laundry after 10 P.M. 217 00:09:06,178 --> 00:09:08,779 Wow. Is everything so regimented around here? 218 00:09:08,781 --> 00:09:10,348 Well, we have a pretty active 219 00:09:10,350 --> 00:09:11,548 tenants' association. 220 00:09:11,550 --> 00:09:12,516 Oh! Could I join? 221 00:09:12,518 --> 00:09:13,517 Well, sure. 222 00:09:13,519 --> 00:09:14,985 There's a meeting tonight. 223 00:09:14,987 --> 00:09:16,987 We have to tell you, we're so glad to be rid 224 00:09:16,989 --> 00:09:18,789 of the last people who lived here. 225 00:09:18,791 --> 00:09:21,692 They stored all kinds of junk on their balcony. 226 00:09:21,694 --> 00:09:24,928 It's so nice to have some normal people here. 227 00:09:27,499 --> 00:09:28,932 Normal! Normal! Normal! Normal! 228 00:09:36,708 --> 00:09:37,541 Thank you. 229 00:09:37,543 --> 00:09:38,876 And you, sir? 230 00:09:38,878 --> 00:09:41,245 I can't decide. What is your most popular dish? 231 00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:43,347 Well, a lot of people like the steak fajitas. 232 00:09:43,349 --> 00:09:45,016 Then steak fajitas it is. 233 00:09:45,018 --> 00:09:46,817 And, uh, how would you like it cooked? 234 00:09:46,819 --> 00:09:47,851 Medium. 235 00:09:47,853 --> 00:09:48,852 And the sauce, sir? 236 00:09:48,854 --> 00:09:49,853 Medium. 237 00:09:49,855 --> 00:09:51,188 And your drink? Cola, medium. 238 00:09:51,190 --> 00:09:53,223 No, wait. 239 00:09:53,225 --> 00:09:55,492 Yes, medium. 240 00:09:55,494 --> 00:09:56,727 So, how'd you like the movie? 241 00:09:56,729 --> 00:10:00,064 It's the number one movie in America. 242 00:10:00,066 --> 00:10:01,031 But did you like it? 243 00:10:01,033 --> 00:10:02,666 It's America's favorite movie, 244 00:10:02,668 --> 00:10:04,868 and that's good enough for me. 245 00:10:04,870 --> 00:10:06,603 I guess it was ok. 246 00:10:06,605 --> 00:10:08,305 2 thumbs up. Way up. 247 00:10:11,176 --> 00:10:13,076 I'm having a nice time. 248 00:10:13,078 --> 00:10:13,844 You are? 249 00:10:13,846 --> 00:10:14,878 That's true. 250 00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:16,346 You've neither screamed nor cried 251 00:10:16,348 --> 00:10:18,348 all evening. 252 00:10:18,350 --> 00:10:20,183 This is cause for a celebration. Waiter? 253 00:10:20,185 --> 00:10:23,320 A bottle of your most average champagne. 254 00:10:31,630 --> 00:10:33,997 Oh. How's it coming, Harry? 255 00:10:33,999 --> 00:10:35,499 Well, I had a little trouble. 256 00:10:35,501 --> 00:10:37,368 We were trying to put the support rod 257 00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:39,203 from the uben 258 00:10:39,205 --> 00:10:42,306 into the flord slot, 259 00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:44,074 but that crisis is past. 260 00:10:44,076 --> 00:10:45,742 Ah. Look at us. 261 00:10:45,744 --> 00:10:47,377 We're doing great. 262 00:10:47,379 --> 00:10:49,880 Everything's coming together. 263 00:10:49,882 --> 00:10:52,049 Oh, I'm reading a great John Grisham novel. 264 00:10:52,051 --> 00:10:53,517 It's about a young Southern lawyer 265 00:10:53,519 --> 00:10:55,286 who fights an evil corporate giant. 266 00:10:55,288 --> 00:10:57,888 Hey, my Grisham's about that, too. 267 00:10:57,890 --> 00:10:59,890 So is my Grisham! 268 00:11:06,664 --> 00:11:07,965 Hey, guys. 269 00:11:07,967 --> 00:11:09,333 Whoa. 270 00:11:12,470 --> 00:11:14,237 Who are you? 271 00:11:14,239 --> 00:11:16,106 It's me Tommy. 272 00:11:16,108 --> 00:11:19,009 Well, you can't be Tommy. Tommy looks like a girl. 273 00:11:19,011 --> 00:11:20,878 Oh. No. 274 00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:22,012 I went to the megacuts. 275 00:11:22,014 --> 00:11:24,314 Well, if you're Tommy, answer me this: 276 00:11:24,316 --> 00:11:26,883 Are we, or are we not aliens? 277 00:11:26,885 --> 00:11:28,585 Yeah, dick, we are. 278 00:11:28,587 --> 00:11:30,921 Tommy! 279 00:11:30,923 --> 00:11:32,756 Ah, there's my Grisham. 280 00:11:40,265 --> 00:11:42,834 Here we go. This thing-- 281 00:11:42,836 --> 00:11:43,901 whatever it is-- 282 00:11:43,903 --> 00:11:45,169 has got to go. 283 00:11:45,171 --> 00:11:47,238 Just have them haul all this away. 284 00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:48,305 Are you sure? 285 00:11:48,307 --> 00:11:49,774 Yes, Nina, I'm sure. 286 00:11:49,776 --> 00:11:51,642 It's just that you're acting kinda strange. 287 00:11:51,644 --> 00:11:52,876 Me, strange? 288 00:11:52,878 --> 00:11:54,378 I'm textbook normal. 289 00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:57,615 If anyone is strange, it's you. 290 00:11:57,617 --> 00:12:00,317 You exercise too much, you drive a stick shift, 291 00:12:00,319 --> 00:12:01,451 you drink root beer. 292 00:12:01,453 --> 00:12:02,853 Oh, and you're black. 293 00:12:04,055 --> 00:12:06,457 What's strange about being black? 294 00:12:06,459 --> 00:12:07,658 Let's face it, Nina, 295 00:12:07,660 --> 00:12:09,794 most white people aren't. 296 00:12:09,796 --> 00:12:11,362 But they want to be. 297 00:12:13,599 --> 00:12:14,665 What's going on? 298 00:12:14,667 --> 00:12:15,799 I'm just getting rid 299 00:12:15,801 --> 00:12:17,368 of some of these kooky knickknacks. 300 00:12:17,370 --> 00:12:19,470 What could I have been thinking? 301 00:12:19,472 --> 00:12:21,606 I don't know. I think it's kind of nice 302 00:12:21,608 --> 00:12:24,442 having personal touches around the office. 303 00:12:24,444 --> 00:12:26,177 I was thinking about getting one of those big ficuses. 304 00:12:26,179 --> 00:12:29,913 Whoa, hold on there, Courtney love. 305 00:12:29,915 --> 00:12:31,915 The circus is a fun place to visit, 306 00:12:31,917 --> 00:12:33,484 but you don't want to live there. 307 00:12:33,486 --> 00:12:35,620 Can I have your Mr. potato head? 308 00:12:35,622 --> 00:12:37,488 Sure. Go ahead. 309 00:12:37,490 --> 00:12:38,622 Weirdo. 310 00:12:39,625 --> 00:12:42,794 Oh, hi, Jeff. Thanks so much for coming. 311 00:12:42,796 --> 00:12:45,062 I suppose you're wondering why we asked you here. 312 00:12:45,064 --> 00:12:46,197 Yes. 313 00:12:46,199 --> 00:12:48,532 Well, is that your doormat? 314 00:12:48,534 --> 00:12:49,500 Yeah. So? 315 00:12:49,502 --> 00:12:51,501 Well, it doesn't really go 316 00:12:51,503 --> 00:12:54,138 with the building's decor, now, does it? 317 00:12:54,140 --> 00:12:56,707 What's the difference what color my doormat is? 318 00:12:56,709 --> 00:12:58,342 Well, there are 2 approved colors, 319 00:12:58,344 --> 00:13:01,145 but we haven't used either of those now, have we? 320 00:13:01,147 --> 00:13:02,213 No, but it's just that-- 321 00:13:02,215 --> 00:13:03,748 what were we thinking? 322 00:13:03,750 --> 00:13:05,616 Were we thinking, "hmm, I know better 323 00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:09,653 than the other 146 tenants"? 324 00:13:10,788 --> 00:13:13,224 Well, I just thought it would give my place 325 00:13:13,226 --> 00:13:14,258 a little personality. 326 00:13:14,260 --> 00:13:16,527 Oh, Jeff! 327 00:13:16,529 --> 00:13:18,395 We don't have room for personality 328 00:13:18,397 --> 00:13:19,964 in this complex. 329 00:13:19,966 --> 00:13:22,333 What we need to do is abide by the rules 330 00:13:22,335 --> 00:13:25,903 we've all agreed to, right? 331 00:13:25,905 --> 00:13:28,105 Ok. So bye-bye. 332 00:13:28,107 --> 00:13:30,007 Bye-bye. 333 00:13:31,776 --> 00:13:32,710 Hi, Marjorie. 334 00:13:32,712 --> 00:13:34,812 Come here, sweetie. 335 00:13:36,481 --> 00:13:37,681 Now, it seems as though we put 336 00:13:37,683 --> 00:13:41,652 a little dried flower wreath on our door. 337 00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:44,088 What were we thinking? 338 00:13:51,562 --> 00:13:52,796 So, Sally, 339 00:13:52,798 --> 00:13:54,131 do you like it here? 340 00:13:54,133 --> 00:13:55,665 Oh, I love willow Glen. 341 00:13:55,667 --> 00:13:57,702 It's like no place else on earth. 342 00:13:57,704 --> 00:13:58,969 No... 343 00:13:58,971 --> 00:14:02,406 Except oak bridge, willow brook, and Glen brook. 344 00:14:02,408 --> 00:14:05,076 I can't remember life before willow Glen, 345 00:14:05,078 --> 00:14:07,678 and I can't imagine life after it. 346 00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:09,614 Oh! I almost forgot. 347 00:14:09,616 --> 00:14:11,249 I got you a housewarming present. 348 00:14:11,251 --> 00:14:12,316 [Gasps] 349 00:14:12,318 --> 00:14:14,952 Mary, thank you. 350 00:14:16,454 --> 00:14:18,723 Oh, it's wonderful! What is it? 351 00:14:18,725 --> 00:14:21,125 It's a wind chime. You put it in the window, 352 00:14:21,127 --> 00:14:24,495 and the wind rushes through it and makes a lovely sound. 353 00:14:26,965 --> 00:14:27,998 Sound? 354 00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:28,966 As in "noise"? 355 00:14:28,968 --> 00:14:30,067 Yeah. 356 00:14:30,069 --> 00:14:32,169 Well, it's far too pretty 357 00:14:32,171 --> 00:14:34,338 to take out of the box. 358 00:14:34,340 --> 00:14:35,472 I know. 359 00:14:35,474 --> 00:14:38,509 I'll just use it to store under the sink. 360 00:14:40,145 --> 00:14:42,246 Ohh! Ohh! Ohh! 361 00:14:42,248 --> 00:14:43,681 Jenga! Jenga! Jenga! 362 00:14:45,016 --> 00:14:46,584 That was good fun. 363 00:14:46,586 --> 00:14:49,520 Say, who wants to do something completely crazy? 364 00:14:49,522 --> 00:14:50,987 I do! I'm game! 365 00:14:50,989 --> 00:14:52,456 Mary? God, yes. 366 00:14:52,458 --> 00:14:54,725 Let's go get some frozen yogurt! 367 00:14:58,229 --> 00:14:59,730 Come on, Mary! 368 00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:01,265 You won't believe it's fat-free. 369 00:15:07,505 --> 00:15:08,439 Mary? 370 00:15:08,441 --> 00:15:09,507 Oh! 371 00:15:09,509 --> 00:15:10,641 Hi, dick. 372 00:15:10,643 --> 00:15:12,710 Well, why aren't you working in the office? 373 00:15:12,712 --> 00:15:13,778 Uh... 374 00:15:13,780 --> 00:15:15,946 I--I thought I'd save myself the walk. 375 00:15:15,948 --> 00:15:17,514 I have another class coming in. 376 00:15:17,516 --> 00:15:18,515 What, now? 377 00:15:18,517 --> 00:15:22,019 Uh...ln 3 hours. 378 00:15:22,021 --> 00:15:24,121 I had a really good time last night. 379 00:15:24,123 --> 00:15:26,757 It's too bad you had to leave so suddenly, 380 00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:29,093 but leaving both your iron and your stove on, 381 00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:31,428 I guess that can be pretty dangerous. 382 00:15:32,998 --> 00:15:35,332 Take your seats, please! Just because I'm a little late 383 00:15:35,334 --> 00:15:37,001 doesn't mean you shouldn't be ready to learn. 384 00:15:37,003 --> 00:15:41,371 Now... 385 00:15:41,373 --> 00:15:44,241 Who knows the answer to question number 4? 386 00:15:44,243 --> 00:15:45,977 Well, who are you? 387 00:15:45,979 --> 00:15:48,913 I'll ask the questions, thank you very much. 388 00:15:48,915 --> 00:15:51,148 Oh! You must be Dr. neesam. 389 00:15:51,150 --> 00:15:52,750 No. The answer I'm looking for 390 00:15:52,752 --> 00:15:53,817 is "marsupial." 391 00:15:53,819 --> 00:15:54,986 Please concentrate. 392 00:15:54,988 --> 00:15:57,287 Uh, uh, no, no, no. You don't understand. 393 00:15:57,289 --> 00:15:59,322 I'm Mary albright. This is dick Solomon. 394 00:15:59,324 --> 00:16:00,758 We're both professors here. 395 00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:03,194 Well, in that case, you can't possibly take my class. 396 00:16:03,196 --> 00:16:04,494 Please leave. 397 00:16:04,496 --> 00:16:05,963 But--but this is her room. 398 00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:07,597 Well, then you leave me no alternative. 399 00:16:07,599 --> 00:16:08,599 I must leave. 400 00:16:08,601 --> 00:16:10,667 Auf wiedersehen. 401 00:16:13,905 --> 00:16:16,173 So that's the university's idea 402 00:16:16,175 --> 00:16:17,508 of a hotshot Professor? 403 00:16:17,510 --> 00:16:19,176 Oh, they say he's quite brilliant. 404 00:16:19,178 --> 00:16:21,112 Well, I say he's quite weird. 405 00:16:21,114 --> 00:16:22,913 He certainly doesn't fit in around here. 406 00:16:22,915 --> 00:16:24,648 No, no, no, no. 407 00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:26,116 He's too loud, too colorful, 408 00:16:26,118 --> 00:16:27,051 too interesting. 409 00:16:27,053 --> 00:16:29,020 Exactly. Thank you. 410 00:16:29,022 --> 00:16:31,589 Come on, dick, we could use 411 00:16:31,591 --> 00:16:33,524 a little eccentricity around here. 412 00:16:33,526 --> 00:16:35,358 I mean, it's getting a little dull, 413 00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:37,661 don't you think? 414 00:16:37,663 --> 00:16:40,631 A guy could take that personally. 415 00:16:41,700 --> 00:16:43,466 Excuse me. Is this the ladies' room? 416 00:16:49,474 --> 00:16:52,643 Well, I believe that is it. 417 00:16:52,645 --> 00:16:54,511 As they say in Sweden... 418 00:16:54,513 --> 00:16:56,580 Fahrvergnugen. 419 00:16:57,749 --> 00:17:00,117 Hey, dick, what are you doing home? 420 00:17:00,119 --> 00:17:02,119 I thought you were taking albright to that new Starbucks. 421 00:17:02,121 --> 00:17:03,788 Oh, the one down the street from the old one? 422 00:17:03,790 --> 00:17:05,622 No, the one in between the 2 kinko's. 423 00:17:05,624 --> 00:17:07,091 Oh. Across from the Barnes & noble? 424 00:17:07,093 --> 00:17:09,392 It doesn't matter which Starbucks! 425 00:17:09,394 --> 00:17:11,428 She canceled on me. 426 00:17:11,430 --> 00:17:13,196 I don't understand. Things were going so well. 427 00:17:13,198 --> 00:17:14,365 Why wouldn't she like me? 428 00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:16,233 Yeah. You're just like every other guy in town. 429 00:17:16,235 --> 00:17:19,003 Yeah. There's absolutely nothing remarkable or distinctive about you. 430 00:17:19,005 --> 00:17:20,171 And yet she resists. 431 00:17:20,173 --> 00:17:21,739 But you're completely homogenized! 432 00:17:21,741 --> 00:17:22,873 There's nothing not to like! 433 00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:25,008 How much less does she want from you? 434 00:17:25,010 --> 00:17:27,778 Well, it is her problem, 'cause we're doing great. 435 00:17:27,780 --> 00:17:29,480 Fantastic. Couldn't be better. 436 00:17:29,482 --> 00:17:31,615 I'm completely miserable. I hate it here. 437 00:17:31,617 --> 00:17:33,617 Kill me now. 438 00:17:33,619 --> 00:17:34,618 Oh, my. 439 00:17:34,620 --> 00:17:36,587 I thought you guys liked it here. 440 00:17:36,589 --> 00:17:37,921 We were just saying that 441 00:17:37,923 --> 00:17:39,323 'cause we thought you liked it here. 442 00:17:39,325 --> 00:17:41,592 I don't like it. I hate it! 443 00:17:41,594 --> 00:17:43,027 I thought you liked it! 444 00:17:43,029 --> 00:17:44,628 I don't like it! 445 00:17:44,630 --> 00:17:46,630 I miss my coat. I miss my gnome. 446 00:17:46,632 --> 00:17:48,566 Well, hey, I miss my hair! 447 00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:50,267 There's some things you can't go back on. 448 00:17:50,269 --> 00:17:52,837 We have to tough this out. We did it for the sake of the mission. 449 00:17:52,839 --> 00:17:54,472 No! This was a mistake! 450 00:17:54,474 --> 00:17:56,373 Becoming more average didn't make us more human! 451 00:17:56,375 --> 00:17:57,608 It made us less! 452 00:17:57,610 --> 00:17:59,509 All my bumps and quirks. 453 00:17:59,511 --> 00:18:03,347 That's what made me so delightfully Harry. 454 00:18:03,349 --> 00:18:04,815 Pack up, boys. We're going home! 455 00:18:04,817 --> 00:18:07,617 Going home?! Come on! 456 00:18:07,619 --> 00:18:09,552 We just got this thing together! 457 00:18:14,425 --> 00:18:16,026 I'll be in the car. 458 00:18:16,028 --> 00:18:18,695 Hey, guys. 459 00:18:18,697 --> 00:18:20,130 What's going on? 460 00:18:22,633 --> 00:18:24,601 Sally, uh... 461 00:18:24,603 --> 00:18:26,503 I've, uh... 462 00:18:26,505 --> 00:18:30,274 I've made a command decision. 463 00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:31,375 We're moving back. 464 00:18:31,377 --> 00:18:32,676 Oh. 465 00:18:32,678 --> 00:18:34,077 Is that what we're doing? 466 00:18:34,079 --> 00:18:35,378 We're not happy, 467 00:18:35,380 --> 00:18:37,348 so we're just going to break our lease and move? 468 00:18:37,350 --> 00:18:38,449 Yeah. More or less. 469 00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:40,718 No, dick, we can't do that. 470 00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:43,120 You see, I'm in the majority now. 471 00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:45,088 There are more of us than there are of you, 472 00:18:45,090 --> 00:18:47,257 and that makes us right. 473 00:18:47,259 --> 00:18:49,393 I'm a member of a community, 474 00:18:49,395 --> 00:18:50,995 a community that embraces 475 00:18:50,997 --> 00:18:54,097 wholesome American values. 476 00:18:54,099 --> 00:18:56,700 And if you cross us... 477 00:18:56,702 --> 00:18:58,735 We will destroy you. 478 00:18:58,737 --> 00:19:00,503 [All gasp] 479 00:19:00,505 --> 00:19:03,273 Now, if you'll excuse me... 480 00:19:03,275 --> 00:19:06,043 I spotted a mezuzah on 2-c. 481 00:19:13,118 --> 00:19:16,887 And clearly, the oversize door knocker on 6-b 482 00:19:16,889 --> 00:19:19,390 will set an unfortunate precedent, 483 00:19:19,392 --> 00:19:21,425 so I think it behooves all of us 484 00:19:21,427 --> 00:19:23,193 to nip this problem in the bud. 485 00:19:23,195 --> 00:19:24,127 Hear, hear! Yeah. That's right. 486 00:19:24,129 --> 00:19:26,897 Great. Ok, the next order of business is-- 487 00:19:26,899 --> 00:19:29,099 [tinkling] 488 00:19:29,101 --> 00:19:30,067 What's that noise? 489 00:19:30,069 --> 00:19:31,268 Oh, uh... 490 00:19:31,270 --> 00:19:33,670 I put up Mary's wind chimes. 491 00:19:33,672 --> 00:19:34,939 "Wind chimes"? 492 00:19:34,941 --> 00:19:36,607 Oh, we don't do that here. 493 00:19:36,609 --> 00:19:38,308 No, we do not, flora. 494 00:19:38,310 --> 00:19:40,711 Dr. Solomon, take those down right away. 495 00:19:40,713 --> 00:19:42,046 Thank you very much. 496 00:19:42,048 --> 00:19:43,113 [Motor running] 497 00:19:43,115 --> 00:19:44,047 Ok-- 498 00:19:46,818 --> 00:19:47,985 is that a leaf blower? 499 00:19:47,987 --> 00:19:49,153 Diesel. 500 00:19:49,155 --> 00:19:51,155 Well, you can't run a leaf blower here! 501 00:19:51,157 --> 00:19:52,923 Oh, tell me about it. [Woof woof] 502 00:19:52,925 --> 00:19:54,692 It scared the hell out of Tommy's dog. 503 00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:57,294 [Woof woof woof] 504 00:19:57,296 --> 00:19:59,129 Oh, it's ok, boy. It's all right. 505 00:19:59,131 --> 00:20:00,897 Let me tell you, when he gets scared, 506 00:20:00,899 --> 00:20:03,200 he's no friend of carpet. 507 00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:04,668 This is unacceptable! 508 00:20:04,670 --> 00:20:07,604 You solomons have been horrible tenants! 509 00:20:07,606 --> 00:20:09,873 I call for an emergency eviction vote! 510 00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:12,243 I second the motion! All in favor. 511 00:20:12,245 --> 00:20:14,678 Well, then it's unanimous. Bye-bye. 512 00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:17,181 Ok, the next order of business would be the hedge committee-- 513 00:20:17,183 --> 00:20:18,182 Sally. 514 00:20:18,184 --> 00:20:19,416 Uh, yes, Steve? 515 00:20:19,418 --> 00:20:21,851 You live with them. 516 00:20:21,853 --> 00:20:23,253 Uh-huh. 517 00:20:23,255 --> 00:20:24,955 Oh. Um...Well, 518 00:20:24,957 --> 00:20:26,557 can I move in with you? 519 00:20:26,559 --> 00:20:27,724 Nope. 520 00:20:27,726 --> 00:20:28,993 But I'm one of you. 521 00:20:28,995 --> 00:20:30,060 No. 522 00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:31,262 You're one of them. 523 00:20:31,264 --> 00:20:32,830 Come on, Sally, it's time. No. 524 00:20:32,832 --> 00:20:34,097 Oh! Oh! Come on, dear. 525 00:20:34,099 --> 00:20:35,632 But I don't want to go! 526 00:20:35,634 --> 00:20:36,567 Without me, 527 00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:38,602 this place is going to be colorful 528 00:20:38,604 --> 00:20:40,904 and--and pretty w-with little critters 529 00:20:40,906 --> 00:20:43,741 and birdies tweeting all over the place! 530 00:20:43,743 --> 00:20:45,442 You'll regret this! 531 00:20:48,446 --> 00:20:50,814 Becoming average was interesting, 532 00:20:50,816 --> 00:20:52,383 but once we got there, 533 00:20:52,385 --> 00:20:53,917 it wasn't interesting at all. 534 00:20:53,919 --> 00:20:55,352 Yeah. I mean, 535 00:20:55,354 --> 00:20:59,690 those people who weren't weird were so...Weird. 536 00:20:59,692 --> 00:21:02,860 Then I became like them, which was really weird. 537 00:21:02,862 --> 00:21:05,261 Well, live and learn. 538 00:21:05,263 --> 00:21:06,930 We're back to our normal selves. 539 00:21:06,932 --> 00:21:08,766 [Clears throat] 540 00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:11,735 Except for Tommy, who has a little cough. 541 00:21:11,737 --> 00:21:13,570 Otherwise, everything's as it should be. 542 00:21:13,572 --> 00:21:14,905 Am I right, fellas? 543 00:21:14,907 --> 00:21:16,539 Oh, yeah. Yeah, sure. 544 00:21:16,541 --> 00:21:18,342 Yeah, you're right. 545 00:21:18,344 --> 00:21:19,343 I'm turning in. 546 00:21:19,345 --> 00:21:20,510 Yeah, me, too. 547 00:21:20,512 --> 00:21:22,446 Which one of you guys is bunking down with me? 548 00:21:22,448 --> 00:21:23,681 That would be me. 549 00:21:23,683 --> 00:21:25,215 Well, don't hog the blankets 550 00:21:25,217 --> 00:21:27,083 because I sleep in the nude. 551 00:21:27,085 --> 00:21:28,585 That's a good idea! 552 00:21:28,587 --> 00:21:30,354 I'm going to have to try that. 553 00:21:32,257 --> 00:21:34,224 You guys want to crash in my van? 554 00:21:34,226 --> 00:21:35,559 Yeah. Yeah. 555 00:21:37,228 --> 00:21:40,296 Captioned by the national captioning institute --www.Ncicap.Org-- 556 00:21:44,903 --> 00:21:46,369 [buzz] 557 00:21:48,740 --> 00:21:50,206 [Buzzing] 558 00:21:50,208 --> 00:21:52,108 What the hell was that? 559 00:21:52,110 --> 00:21:53,376 [Buzzing approaching] 560 00:21:53,378 --> 00:21:56,513 Whoooo whoo-hoo-hoo! 561 00:21:56,515 --> 00:21:58,582 Oh, ho ho! 562 00:21:58,584 --> 00:22:01,918 Oh, Mary, there's nothing better than this! 563 00:22:06,524 --> 00:22:08,392 He's baaaack. 37287

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