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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.COM 1 00:00:28,100 --> 00:00:31,619 Yes. How lovely, darling! 2 00:00:31,620 --> 00:00:33,219 Yes. 3 00:00:33,220 --> 00:00:34,499 Jane, I... Y-Yeah. 4 00:00:34,500 --> 00:00:38,499 Yes, it's spelt plough, but pronounced "pluff". 5 00:00:39,500 --> 00:00:42,139 As in Brian Clough? The sportsman? 6 00:00:42,140 --> 00:00:46,139 OK! Tremendous fun! Good Lord! 7 00:00:47,420 --> 00:00:49,059 Ahahaha...! Absolutely! 8 00:00:49,060 --> 00:00:50,979 I have to be on stage at 7.30pm. 9 00:00:50,980 --> 00:00:53,419 Aha-ha-ha-ha! Yes...! 10 00:00:53,420 --> 00:00:55,739 UURGH! Shit! 11 00:00:55,740 --> 00:00:57,819 Actually, can I call you back? 12 00:00:57,820 --> 00:00:58,779 What the hell? 13 00:00:58,780 --> 00:01:00,699 I've stung my bloody eyes! 14 00:01:00,700 --> 00:01:03,019 Your nozzle was pointing arse-ways. 15 00:01:03,020 --> 00:01:05,579 Well, at least now I've got your attention. 16 00:01:05,580 --> 00:01:06,739 Are you all right, Toast? 17 00:01:06,740 --> 00:01:08,379 It's not been a good week. 18 00:01:08,380 --> 00:01:12,379 I'm sleeping in a tiny chair. My back is killing me. 19 00:01:12,420 --> 00:01:13,699 I've just got divorced. 20 00:01:13,700 --> 00:01:15,459 And they're still protesting at... 21 00:01:19,620 --> 00:01:20,259 At what? 22 00:01:20,260 --> 00:01:22,899 The bloody play that you put me in! 23 00:01:22,900 --> 00:01:26,899 Well, it's controversial stuff. People may not be ready for it. 24 00:01:28,500 --> 00:01:30,659 Like Shakespeare in the 16th century. 25 00:01:30,660 --> 00:01:34,379 I think people only got Shakespeare when Lenny Henry started doing it. 26 00:01:34,380 --> 00:01:35,659 And I've lost my watch. 27 00:01:35,660 --> 00:01:38,619 And earlier I coughed and nearly followed through in Oddbins. 28 00:01:38,620 --> 00:01:40,499 Aren't they facing liquidation? 29 00:01:40,500 --> 00:01:43,299 They're not the only ones, my dear! 30 00:01:43,300 --> 00:01:44,299 Is that Ray Purchase? 31 00:01:44,300 --> 00:01:46,099 Oh, yes! 32 00:01:46,100 --> 00:01:50,099 That's when he was in that Ray Cooney farce. He drew that himself. 33 00:01:50,380 --> 00:01:53,739 He's such a fucking buffoon! 34 00:01:53,740 --> 00:01:57,739 The last I heard he was using his skills as a police artist. 35 00:01:57,900 --> 00:02:01,099 He draws identikit pictures of criminals. 36 00:02:01,100 --> 00:02:04,859 Hm! Ray Purchase... Everything about that man 37 00:02:04,860 --> 00:02:07,539 was a complete and utter farce. 38 00:02:07,540 --> 00:02:10,059 Come on, you dirty bastard! 39 00:02:10,060 --> 00:02:12,899 I am giving you my all, Mrs Purchase! 40 00:02:12,900 --> 00:02:14,059 My bloody all! 41 00:02:14,060 --> 00:02:16,179 Come on, you shitbag! 42 00:02:16,180 --> 00:02:18,819 Hold on, I'm nearly there. I can feel my balls fizz. 43 00:02:19,940 --> 00:02:22,019 What the hell are you doing? 44 00:02:22,020 --> 00:02:22,899 Didn't you hear that? 45 00:02:22,900 --> 00:02:23,939 What? 46 00:02:23,940 --> 00:02:25,059 Ray's home! 47 00:02:25,060 --> 00:02:27,539 You said he was doing a radio with Wendy Craig. 48 00:02:27,540 --> 00:02:29,739 Quick! Get in the wardrobe! 49 00:02:29,740 --> 00:02:31,819 What wardrobe? That one there! 50 00:02:31,820 --> 00:02:35,819 Jesus Christ! 51 00:02:36,060 --> 00:02:39,699 Hello, darling. I thought you were recording that radio show. 52 00:02:39,700 --> 00:02:43,699 No. Wendy threw up her lasagne. Went everywhere. 53 00:02:44,060 --> 00:02:47,779 Mmm... You look nice. 54 00:02:47,780 --> 00:02:50,179 Not now, Ray. Ah. 55 00:02:50,180 --> 00:02:53,939 What the hell is this? Nothing. 56 00:02:53,940 --> 00:02:55,219 Have you been... No! 57 00:02:55,220 --> 00:02:57,179 Is that... Is somebody in that? 58 00:02:57,180 --> 00:02:58,939 Ray, you're being ridiculous! 59 00:02:58,940 --> 00:03:02,939 Is someone in there? 60 00:03:05,300 --> 00:03:07,699 Come out! Right. 61 00:03:07,700 --> 00:03:10,979 I'll get to the bottom of this. I'll get the axe. 62 00:03:10,980 --> 00:03:14,019 Oh, not the axe! Ray, you're being ridiculous. 63 00:03:14,020 --> 00:03:16,579 Toast! 64 00:03:16,580 --> 00:03:20,019 I've dropped the bloody key. I can't find it. 65 00:03:20,020 --> 00:03:21,979 I'm not sure what I should do. 66 00:03:21,980 --> 00:03:25,499 Stop talking. I'm almost certain he'll go away. 67 00:03:25,500 --> 00:03:26,619 Oh, no...! 68 00:03:26,620 --> 00:03:30,619 Right! 69 00:03:32,100 --> 00:03:34,099 Hello. I'm Steven Toast. 70 00:03:34,100 --> 00:03:35,979 I believe we share the same agent. 71 00:03:35,980 --> 00:03:37,139 What?! 72 00:03:37,140 --> 00:03:39,499 I was jogging past and remembered you'd just moved in. 73 00:03:39,500 --> 00:03:40,539 What? 74 00:03:40,540 --> 00:03:43,179 So I thought I'd call in on your beautiful wife. 75 00:03:43,180 --> 00:03:44,299 What? 76 00:03:44,300 --> 00:03:48,299 You dropped in for a quickie, did you? For some knob-jogging? 77 00:03:48,500 --> 00:03:51,779 Knob-jogging? No, no, you mean knob-jockeying. 78 00:03:51,780 --> 00:03:53,779 Come on, then, Toast.Really? 79 00:03:53,780 --> 00:03:57,779 Yep. 80 00:03:58,620 --> 00:04:01,019 Your marriage is a farce, Purchase. 81 00:04:01,020 --> 00:04:05,019 Notice the emphasis I put on "farce"? 82 00:04:06,220 --> 00:04:07,819 Oh, let it go, Toast. 83 00:04:07,820 --> 00:04:10,019 How old is Kenton Schwepps? 84 00:04:10,020 --> 00:04:11,899 Oh, I don't know. He's about 20... 85 00:04:11,900 --> 00:04:14,339 No, no, don't tell me. I'll just get upset. 86 00:04:14,340 --> 00:04:18,339 Actually, Kenton Schwepps has pulled out of a voice-over this afternoon. 87 00:04:18,540 --> 00:04:20,579 He's gone AWOL with another actor's fiancee. 88 00:04:20,580 --> 00:04:24,579 You could do it instead. They literally want you to say one word. 89 00:04:24,580 --> 00:04:27,219 Even if it's a long word, won't take more than a few minutes. 90 00:04:27,220 --> 00:04:29,139 Well, no word takes longer than a few minutes. 91 00:04:29,140 --> 00:04:30,699 I remember learning that at RADA. 92 00:04:30,700 --> 00:04:32,859 Are there any words you won't say? 93 00:04:32,860 --> 00:04:35,139 Any words you're uncomfortable with? 94 00:04:35,140 --> 00:04:37,459 Yes, I refuse to say the word unsheathed. 95 00:04:37,460 --> 00:04:40,979 Oh, actually, they've given me the word they want you to say. 96 00:04:40,980 --> 00:04:41,939 What is it? 97 00:04:41,940 --> 00:04:43,179 Yes. 98 00:04:43,180 --> 00:04:43,979 Sorry? 99 00:04:43,980 --> 00:04:45,339 Yes. 100 00:04:45,340 --> 00:04:47,699 They want you to say the word yes. 101 00:04:47,700 --> 00:04:48,899 Can you say that? 102 00:04:48,900 --> 00:04:51,179 Yes. 103 00:04:51,180 --> 00:04:54,459 Anyway, how were you settling in with Ed? 104 00:04:54,460 --> 00:04:56,299 Well, I'm glad it's not long-term. 105 00:04:56,300 --> 00:04:59,539 He has a very unusual set-up with an aged agoraphobe. 106 00:04:59,540 --> 00:05:03,539 Goodhouse. Yes, it's odd. 107 00:05:06,620 --> 00:05:08,059 Yes! 108 00:05:08,060 --> 00:05:11,259 Oh, I like your drawings, Toast. The naive style. 109 00:05:11,260 --> 00:05:14,179 Well, it's my own style, Ed. I'm not sure what it's called. 110 00:05:14,180 --> 00:05:16,459 I might ask you to take down the yacht. Goodhouse. 111 00:05:16,460 --> 00:05:19,459 Gets perturbed by anything that smacks of the great outdoors. 112 00:05:19,460 --> 00:05:20,739 All right. 113 00:05:20,740 --> 00:05:24,739 Actually, maybe remove them all. Don't want you feeling too much at home. 114 00:05:24,860 --> 00:05:26,179 No, of course. 115 00:05:26,180 --> 00:05:29,259 As soon as I get my own place, I'll be gone. 116 00:05:29,260 --> 00:05:30,859 I'm seeing my brother Blair later. 117 00:05:30,860 --> 00:05:32,619 I could possibly stay at his club. 118 00:05:32,620 --> 00:05:34,179 He's the soldier, isn't he? 119 00:05:34,180 --> 00:05:35,219 Yes. 120 00:05:35,220 --> 00:05:37,459 He came back from the Falklands with an amputated hand. 121 00:05:37,460 --> 00:05:41,379 Really? I'd have thought he'd leave it there. 122 00:05:41,380 --> 00:05:42,579 No, I think he did. 123 00:05:44,100 --> 00:05:48,099 Ah. Goodhouse. Letting off a bit of steam. 124 00:05:48,300 --> 00:05:50,499 So... Sleep well, Toast? 125 00:05:50,500 --> 00:05:52,779 Not great, Ed. The walls are pretty thin. 126 00:05:52,780 --> 00:05:55,459 Couldn't help over-hearing your love-making. 127 00:05:55,460 --> 00:05:58,939 You don't half shift through the gears. Made my teeth rattle. 128 00:06:01,100 --> 00:06:02,139 Oh, please...! 129 00:06:04,980 --> 00:06:07,779 Ah. You and Goodhouse, you're not... 130 00:06:21,740 --> 00:06:23,339 She's not my wife. Oh, I see. 131 00:06:23,340 --> 00:06:24,539 My wife lives in Swaziland. 132 00:06:24,540 --> 00:06:28,299 The French handle this type of thing much better than us, don't they? 133 00:06:29,700 --> 00:06:32,939 You're probably curious about Goodhouse's agoraphobia. 134 00:06:32,940 --> 00:06:35,539 I'm afraid we had a bit of a setback yesterdays. 135 00:06:35,540 --> 00:06:37,899 I don't want to leave. Come on, Goodhouse. 136 00:06:37,900 --> 00:06:41,899 We'll just walk down the end of the road. Nothing can go wrong. 137 00:06:43,340 --> 00:06:45,739 All right. All right, let's do it. 138 00:06:45,740 --> 00:06:47,499 Excellent. Excellent. 139 00:06:47,500 --> 00:06:51,499 We can be totally confident about it being a complete success. 140 00:06:55,780 --> 00:06:57,539 So she hasn't been outside for two years 141 00:06:57,540 --> 00:06:59,579 and the first thing she sees is a flasher? 142 00:06:59,580 --> 00:07:01,859 Apparently the police have been after him for some time. 143 00:07:01,860 --> 00:07:04,099 He used to be known as the Tooting Flasher. 144 00:07:04,100 --> 00:07:05,619 It appears that he has now 145 00:07:05,620 --> 00:07:08,299 expanded his operations across the Southeast. 146 00:07:08,300 --> 00:07:12,019 Got a little cocky, you might say! 147 00:07:12,020 --> 00:07:13,259 Yeah. 148 00:07:13,260 --> 00:07:15,699 Did you get a good look at his face? 149 00:07:15,700 --> 00:07:19,699 No. No. One finds oneself in that situation somewhat transfixed. 150 00:07:20,540 --> 00:07:23,819 Oh, yes. Of course. 151 00:07:23,820 --> 00:07:26,539 Jolly good of Ed to agree to put you up for a while. 152 00:07:26,540 --> 00:07:28,819 This is a helluva long meeting, Jane. 153 00:07:28,820 --> 00:07:32,819 We just need to discuss the TV drama. It's a marvelous part. 154 00:07:32,980 --> 00:07:36,659 A week's work. Filming in Spain. 155 00:07:36,660 --> 00:07:39,539 No. It'll be the end of July. 156 00:07:39,540 --> 00:07:41,539 Cliff Promise is producing. 157 00:07:41,540 --> 00:07:43,259 Oh, right, I've met him. 158 00:07:43,260 --> 00:07:46,779 He's pretty sure you're right for the role, but wants to see you read. 159 00:07:46,780 --> 00:07:50,779 He wants to see meread? Well, he can fuck that sky high. 160 00:07:52,180 --> 00:07:53,339 No. 161 00:07:53,340 --> 00:07:57,099 It's just a formality. But he needs to see you today. 162 00:07:57,100 --> 00:08:00,019 But I have to meet my brother. 163 00:08:00,020 --> 00:08:02,939 Now that's the one! 164 00:08:02,940 --> 00:08:05,499 I've got to end this meeting now, Jane. 165 00:08:05,500 --> 00:08:08,019 It's a bit of a weird one about Cliff Promise. 166 00:08:08,020 --> 00:08:11,219 He's been in trouble recently so he's kind of out of action. 167 00:08:11,220 --> 00:08:12,979 What do you mean, out of action? 168 00:08:12,980 --> 00:08:14,259 What do you mean, out of action? He's in jail. 169 00:08:14,260 --> 00:08:16,019 Cliff Promise is in jail? 170 00:08:16,020 --> 00:08:17,979 Only for a short time! 171 00:08:17,980 --> 00:08:19,499 What the hell for? 172 00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:23,499 This'll knock you bandy. He's in for holocaust denial. 173 00:08:25,300 --> 00:08:26,659 What? 174 00:08:26,660 --> 00:08:28,939 It's very odd. 175 00:08:28,940 --> 00:08:32,939 The thing about Clifford is that he actually has lots of Jewish friends, 176 00:08:34,140 --> 00:08:37,979 but he just thinks the figures don't add up. 177 00:08:37,980 --> 00:08:41,259 Should I be auditioning for a holocaust denier? 178 00:08:41,260 --> 00:08:44,419 My father was in the army. He was in Auschwitz. 179 00:08:44,420 --> 00:08:45,779 Really? When? 180 00:08:45,780 --> 00:08:49,499 1945. Just after they opened it up to the tourists. 181 00:08:49,500 --> 00:08:53,499 I think it's as much a free speech thing with Cliff, as anything. 182 00:08:53,860 --> 00:08:55,299 He's not a Nazi, is he? 183 00:08:55,300 --> 00:08:58,979 When I met him at Caroline Quentin's house-warming party last year, 184 00:08:58,980 --> 00:09:02,099 he didn't come across as a Nazi. 185 00:09:02,100 --> 00:09:06,099 He was wearing the SS uniform, but he didn't come across as a Nazi. 186 00:09:06,780 --> 00:09:08,939 You know, like Prince Harry wears one. 187 00:09:08,940 --> 00:09:11,859 It's just a bit of fun. 188 00:09:11,860 --> 00:09:15,859 He was also questioned by the police after a racial chanting incident. 189 00:09:16,020 --> 00:09:18,059 Where? At a football match, presumably. 190 00:09:18,060 --> 00:09:20,539 No. On the set of Inspector Somerset. 191 00:09:20,540 --> 00:09:23,899 He didn't agree with the casting of Bennett Carnival. 192 00:09:23,900 --> 00:09:25,339 Because Bennett Carnival is black? 193 00:09:25,340 --> 00:09:26,339 Yes. 194 00:09:26,340 --> 00:09:30,339 Didn't he play the Nigerian ambassador in that? 195 00:09:31,460 --> 00:09:35,179 Talking of racial matters - the Evening Standard rang me earlier. 196 00:09:35,180 --> 00:09:36,619 What do those fuckers want? 197 00:09:36,620 --> 00:09:40,619 They left a message about wanting to talk about Asians. 198 00:09:40,980 --> 00:09:44,979 What do I know about Asians? 199 00:09:45,100 --> 00:09:47,819 They probably meant agents. 200 00:09:47,820 --> 00:09:50,939 After all, you are an agent. 201 00:09:50,940 --> 00:09:53,059 Oh, that could be it. 202 00:09:53,060 --> 00:09:56,339 Alright, where do I have to meet him? 203 00:10:02,500 --> 00:10:06,499 I say, I think I may have broken your doorbell. 204 00:10:07,700 --> 00:10:11,699 Steven. Cliff Promise. Lovely to meet you. 205 00:10:12,620 --> 00:10:15,499 Oh, that's such a great touch. 206 00:10:15,500 --> 00:10:16,579 Sorry, what? 207 00:10:16,580 --> 00:10:19,539 The blinking. David's nervous, so he blinks. 208 00:10:19,540 --> 00:10:22,219 It's not even in the script, but it's so right! 209 00:10:22,220 --> 00:10:24,579 No, I sprayed perfume in my eyes earlier. 210 00:10:24,580 --> 00:10:25,699 Why? 211 00:10:25,700 --> 00:10:29,139 It was an accident? 212 00:10:29,140 --> 00:10:32,859 OK, let's just give it a read. You have the scenes. 213 00:10:32,860 --> 00:10:35,219 Oh, right. 214 00:10:35,220 --> 00:10:39,219 Excellent. 215 00:10:40,460 --> 00:10:43,459 Ah, I can read the part of Daisy. 216 00:10:43,460 --> 00:10:46,219 Erm... 217 00:10:46,220 --> 00:10:49,779 I suggest from the bit where David's drunk 218 00:10:49,780 --> 00:10:52,179 and they're having a bit of an argument in the villa. 219 00:10:52,180 --> 00:10:55,899 You seemed to be paying a bit of attention to Roger the other night. 220 00:10:55,900 --> 00:10:56,739 That bit? 221 00:10:56,740 --> 00:11:00,259 Yes, that's it. OK. 222 00:11:00,260 --> 00:11:03,979 You seemed to be paying a bit of attention to Roger the other night. 223 00:11:03,980 --> 00:11:05,779 Are you drunk again, David? 224 00:11:05,780 --> 00:11:09,779 Too much wine always brings out your jealous rages. 225 00:11:11,860 --> 00:11:14,099 Maybe a bit of blinking, Steven. 226 00:11:14,100 --> 00:11:16,059 I loved what you were doing with that. 227 00:11:16,060 --> 00:11:20,059 Right. You were practically throwing yourself at him. 228 00:11:20,580 --> 00:11:21,939 I'll just stop it there. 229 00:11:21,940 --> 00:11:25,939 Very good. But were you doing him slightly... Jamaican? 230 00:11:27,100 --> 00:11:31,099 I thought I detected a little patois. 231 00:11:32,140 --> 00:11:36,059 There's no way... David... is Jamaican! 232 00:11:36,060 --> 00:11:37,819 OK, let's trot on. 233 00:11:37,820 --> 00:11:39,539 All right, is my character gay? 234 00:11:39,540 --> 00:11:42,539 Yes! You're an undercover gay detective. 235 00:11:42,540 --> 00:11:44,259 Well, shall I do him camp? 236 00:11:44,260 --> 00:11:46,619 You could try it. Do you want to try it? 237 00:11:46,620 --> 00:11:48,899 Well, he's probably trying to hide it. 238 00:11:48,900 --> 00:11:50,219 He is married. 239 00:11:50,220 --> 00:11:52,859 Trying to catch a killer. 240 00:11:52,860 --> 00:11:54,979 Really? 241 00:11:54,980 --> 00:11:56,699 Look, I'll try something. 242 00:11:56,700 --> 00:11:59,259 Good for you! 243 00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:03,259 The first time he came down you were practically throwing yourself at him! 244 00:12:05,300 --> 00:12:07,619 And that bitch of a wife! 245 00:12:07,620 --> 00:12:09,379 This is bollocks! Eh? 246 00:12:09,380 --> 00:12:11,099 This one here's a gay bent copper. 247 00:12:11,100 --> 00:12:12,739 Sorry, everything all right here? 248 00:12:12,740 --> 00:12:15,059 And he smells of perfume! 249 00:12:15,060 --> 00:12:16,859 Get your bloody hands off me! 250 00:12:17,860 --> 00:12:21,859 When will I hear? 251 00:12:24,380 --> 00:12:25,299 Which way's London? 252 00:12:25,300 --> 00:12:27,259 That way. 253 00:12:27,260 --> 00:12:32,899 Unbelievable! 254 00:12:36,560 --> 00:12:38,199 I blew his head off completely! 255 00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:42,119 And, when I say completely, I mean... 256 00:12:42,120 --> 00:12:43,559 ...completely. 257 00:12:43,560 --> 00:12:46,919 I imagine when one blows someone's head off, there's no half measures? 258 00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:49,999 His head shot up into the air and landed in my lap. 259 00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:52,399 Now, what happened next, I will never forget. 260 00:12:52,400 --> 00:12:55,839 He looked me straight into the eyes and as God is my witness, 261 00:12:55,840 --> 00:12:59,039 he mouthed the words... 262 00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:02,279 ..."thank you". 263 00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:04,679 Oh, Steven, you would have loved the Army life. 264 00:13:04,680 --> 00:13:08,159 It was good enough for our father and grandfather. 265 00:13:08,160 --> 00:13:09,519 It's not too late, you know. 266 00:13:09,520 --> 00:13:11,399 I think it is too late, Blair. 267 00:13:11,400 --> 00:13:15,039 The acting life is the life for me. 268 00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:16,559 Is that a new hand? 269 00:13:16,560 --> 00:13:17,639 What? 270 00:13:17,640 --> 00:13:19,559 Oh, yeah. 271 00:13:19,560 --> 00:13:22,239 Usual one's getting fixed! 272 00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:24,079 So I hear this play you're in... 273 00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:27,159 ...is a piece of shit! 274 00:13:27,160 --> 00:13:29,919 It's true, the subject matter could be considered robust. 275 00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:32,599 It beats running the risk of getting your head blown off. 276 00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:34,919 Although, I was almost set on fire during rehearsal. 277 00:13:34,920 --> 00:13:37,879 I've lost count of the number of times I've been set on fire. 278 00:13:37,880 --> 00:13:41,119 It kept me on my toes! Wouldn't do you any harm, either. 279 00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:43,079 Excellent! 280 00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:46,159 It's been great seeing you, Blair, but I've a voice-over in Soho 281 00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:47,519 and the studio's booked. 282 00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:51,519 The studio peopled exclusively by homosexuals, no doubt? 283 00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:54,959 Well, there'll probably be at least one homosexual. 284 00:13:54,960 --> 00:13:57,039 They are one in ten of the male population. 285 00:13:57,040 --> 00:13:58,719 Not in the Army, they're not. 286 00:13:58,720 --> 00:14:01,799 The number of homosexuals in the Army? Absolutely none. 287 00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:11,519 Every bloody time. 288 00:14:11,520 --> 00:14:15,519 No. 289 00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:25,599 Well, well, well, look who it is. 290 00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:27,999 Oh, Jesus! 291 00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:30,519 You can't believe your eyes, can you, Toast? 292 00:14:30,520 --> 00:14:33,759 It's me, Ray Purchase. 293 00:14:33,760 --> 00:14:36,519 You didn't know I was a member of this club, did you? 294 00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:38,679 The only club you should be a member of, Purchase, 295 00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:41,599 is a club for arseholes! 296 00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:44,119 I heard that new play you're in is terrible. 297 00:14:44,120 --> 00:14:46,759 What, you mean... 298 00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:50,279 Yeah, of course I mean... 299 00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:57,279 I've never forgotten you, Toast. 300 00:14:57,280 --> 00:14:59,999 Oh, no, I have never forgotten you. 301 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:03,959 Well, excuse me while I dry my hands. 302 00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:05,919 Dry your hands, eh? 303 00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:09,759 Why not dry your eyes as well? 304 00:15:20,160 --> 00:15:24,159 Good God, Toast. 305 00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:39,039 Hey, Steven, ready for you now. 306 00:15:39,040 --> 00:15:40,759 Do you want any water, or anything? 307 00:15:40,760 --> 00:15:41,919 I got some here. 308 00:15:41,920 --> 00:15:42,719 Are we rolling? 309 00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:46,719 Are we rolling? Yeah, in your own time. 310 00:15:48,120 --> 00:15:52,119 Yes. 311 00:15:53,840 --> 00:15:55,279 Er, that was brilliant, Steven. 312 00:15:55,280 --> 00:15:57,319 Really brilliant, everyone very happy here. 313 00:15:57,320 --> 00:15:59,399 Let's just get a few more. Yeah. 314 00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:02,559 OK. 315 00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:03,999 Yes. 316 00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:05,359 Yes. 317 00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:06,799 Yes. 318 00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:09,079 Yes. 319 00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:13,039 OK? 320 00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:15,719 Er, Steven, that was really good. 321 00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:18,759 Feeling is here that you could be a bit more positive. 322 00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:20,039 More positive? 323 00:16:20,040 --> 00:16:22,079 Yeah, you know. Really go for it. 324 00:16:22,080 --> 00:16:23,999 You want me to go for it? 325 00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:26,719 Yeah. 326 00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:29,639 All right. 327 00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:33,639 Yes! 328 00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:40,159 Er, it's good, very, very good. 329 00:16:40,160 --> 00:16:41,839 Let's just try without the script, 330 00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:43,439 it might loosen you up a little bit. 331 00:16:43,440 --> 00:16:45,439 What is it, one word? You don't really need it. 332 00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:48,239 I probably don't need this script, it's just a word. 333 00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:52,239 Yeah, let's do it again. 334 00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:56,439 Yes! 335 00:16:56,440 --> 00:16:56,959 Was that it? 336 00:16:56,960 --> 00:16:58,039 Yes. 337 00:16:58,040 --> 00:17:02,039 Right. 338 00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:03,559 Hi, Steven. 339 00:17:03,560 --> 00:17:04,599 Yes. 340 00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:05,559 This is Clem Fandango. 341 00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:06,799 OK. 342 00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:07,839 Can you hear me? 343 00:17:07,840 --> 00:17:08,759 Yes. 344 00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:10,079 Honestly, this is going great 345 00:17:10,080 --> 00:17:12,759 but there was a little loss of energy in that last take. 346 00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:15,859 Maybe try one more. 347 00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:19,239 OK, ready to go? 348 00:17:19,240 --> 00:17:20,119 Yeah. What? 349 00:17:20,120 --> 00:17:22,519 Yes! 350 00:17:22,520 --> 00:17:24,279 Yes! 351 00:17:24,280 --> 00:17:25,919 Yes! 352 00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:27,439 Yes! 353 00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:28,999 Yes! 354 00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:30,759 Yes!! 355 00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:32,039 Yeees! 356 00:17:32,040 --> 00:17:34,079 Yes! 357 00:17:34,080 --> 00:17:35,959 Yes! 358 00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:37,319 Yes! 359 00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:39,819 Yes! 360 00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:42,799 Yes! 361 00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:44,599 Yes! 362 00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:46,439 Yees! 363 00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:47,679 Yeees! 364 00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:48,759 Yes!! 365 00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:51,399 Yes! 366 00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:52,559 Yes! 367 00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:54,119 Yees! 368 00:17:54,120 --> 00:17:56,119 Yeees! 369 00:17:56,120 --> 00:17:57,319 Yeeees! 370 00:17:57,320 --> 00:17:59,919 Yes! 371 00:17:59,920 --> 00:18:01,699 Yes!!! 372 00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:05,079 Fuck... 373 00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:06,799 Jesus! 374 00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:08,759 Steven? What?! 375 00:18:08,760 --> 00:18:12,759 How would you feel about doing a no? 376 00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:15,399 Are you crying? 377 00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:20,899 Clem Fandango, I have to be on the stage at 7.30. 378 00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:25,039 Honestly, Steven, how long will it take to say no? 379 00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:41,279 ♪ I had dreams 380 00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:44,399 ♪ So did we all 381 00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:48,399 ♪ But then life begins 382 00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:52,359 ♪ My curtain call 383 00:18:52,360 --> 00:18:56,359 ♪ I'm alone and scared 384 00:18:57,760 --> 00:19:00,359 ♪ You were a fool 385 00:19:00,360 --> 00:19:04,359 ♪ When you die, who'll care? 386 00:19:05,360 --> 00:19:07,679 ♪ I guess you're right 387 00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:11,679 ♪ So kill me with yes... 388 00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:14,919 ♪ Yes 389 00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:17,039 ♪ Yes 390 00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:19,199 ♪ Yes 391 00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:22,099 ♪ Yes! ♪ 392 00:19:58,980 --> 00:20:02,059 And now we have a police identikit drawing of a suspect 393 00:20:02,060 --> 00:20:05,299 that police are very keen to talk to in connection with a series 394 00:20:05,300 --> 00:20:09,299 of incidents of indecent exposure across London and the south-east. 395 00:20:10,020 --> 00:20:13,539 The man, originally known as the Tooting Flasher... 396 00:20:13,540 --> 00:20:15,819 Do you recognise that face? Do you have any... 397 00:20:15,820 --> 00:20:19,319 Ray bloody Purchase! 398 00:20:25,440 --> 00:20:27,279 Bloody hell! 399 00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:28,319 Yes! 400 00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:31,159 Toast, I've just been watching Crimescene. 401 00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:32,959 Look, I can't deal with this right now. 402 00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:35,559 I don't think you should stay here at the flat any more. 403 00:20:35,560 --> 00:20:38,159 Look, Ed, it wasn't me! It was Ray Purchase. 404 00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:40,319 It was a poor show, Toast, poor bloody show. 405 00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:43,119 You've sent Goodhouse firmly back to square one. 406 00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:48,399 I'm on stage, I've got to go. 407 00:20:52,180 --> 00:20:53,659 How long does this protest go on? 408 00:20:53,660 --> 00:20:55,700 Until the end of the show! 409 00:20:55,701 --> 00:20:59,899 Good! This is disgusting! Boo! 410 00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:20,200 Subs by addicted Sync by santibone 29048

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