All language subtitles for The.World.According.to.Jeff.Goldblum.S01E11.1080p.WEB.H264-PETRiFiED

Hello, my name is Jeff Goldblum.

By now, you may know me
as a man of adventure.

I pop, I chop...

Come on, you.

...I surprise, I improvise...

I sometimes enjoy getting a little,
a little gussied up.

But I'm not gonna need many clothes
for my next mission.

Swimming pools. Swimming pools.
Let's talk about swimming pools,

cement ponds, and all things water.

What a life aquatic it is.
Let's take a deep, deep dive.

These days,
you can find swimming pools

in almost every country
and climate in the world.

Over the past few decades,
we've started building them bigger...

and better...

and more thrilling than ever before.

I guess we're just head-over-heels
in love with pools.

But here's the question.

Why? Pourquoi? How come?

Follow me, little fishies.

This is Raging Waters.

I think Robert De Niro was in that.

No, I'm thinking of Ethel Waters.

Sorry, Raging Waters.
It's California's largest water park

and part of an industry,
the water park industry,

that's worth a staggering
five billion dollars a year

to the US economy.

Maybe here, in this fantasy land,
we can gather our first few clues

about why we have

this strange affinity with H2O.

Let's go!

When I was a kid,

we were the first to have
swimming pools in our neighborhood.

So, we built one.
I remember when we built one,

but even before then...

I remember having a blow-up
inflatable pool when I was...

You know, these are my first memories.
And we have home movies,

those old '50s-styles home movies,
of me in that.

You know, but even before that,
I loved running through the sprinkler.

And you couldn't, like a lot of kids,
you couldn't get me out of the water.

And then in my adult life...

I didn't go in the pool much, you know.

So, let's dip our toes in

and start to glean why folks
are flocking to places like this one.

I myself have never been.

I'm really getting waves now.

We are definitely water babies.
We love swimming, the pools, relaxing.

It's refreshing, there's no...

Sharks.

-There's no sharks.
-Well, yeah.

Why is it calming?

It's like, you're just
sitting in the pool, and then,

like, the water's kinda cold,
and you just can relax,

and you don't have
anything else to do except try to float.

- I...
- It feels like you're flying

- when you swim.
- It's like

-you're flying when you swim.
-It's like zero gravity.

- It's like zero gravity.
- It's fun.

- It's like flying.
- Yeah.

And it's a quick way to cool off
when it's hot.

Somebody who thinks that he
can reconnect me with my inner water baby

is a water park super-fan
by the name of Marcus Dorsey.

He has spent a whole lot of time
in the last five years

visiting water parks
all over the globe. Golly.

Water parks?

-Yes.
-You are an eighth-degree

black belt master.

Supposedly.

How many water parks are there
in the world?

-In the United States alone...
-Yeah.

...there is 1300 water parks.

The water park is spinning
at this point for me.

Hold on, hold on. Thirteen hundred?
I had no idea.

There's a few types of people
that enjoy water parks,

which is what makes them great.

Okay, four types of people. Tell me.

The first one are the adventurers,

the people who dive into the unknown.

Well... My God. Holy cats.

Is this the first time
you've done this?

Yeah, this one here, yes.

That might be me, that might be me.

At least, there's part of me
that's an adventurer.

Second one is the dreamer.

This one's the person who's imaginative.

They'll pretend they're
on a pirate fortress, you know,

taking on other pirates and then
going down the slides to escape.

Yes, yes!

Yes! I like it. Okay.

Third one is a challenger.
These people push the limits a little bit.

Sometimes, they'll go out to a wave pool

and they'll try out something
that's like a surf simulator.

They like challenging themselves,
you know?

Yeah, that's me. Okay.
And fourth, maybe...

If we hit, like,
four cherries on this machine,

I'm telling you, I'm moving in.

The fourth and last one
are the socializers.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.
I'm a people person.

Give me the description.

The people who like shared experiences.

-That's like you.
-That's me all over.

I never realized it.

Well, the time has come
to quit with the socializing

and face my fears as the adventurer.

What's everybody screaming about?

That bodes ill.

All right, wait a minute, wait a minute,
wait a minute, wait a minute.

- What do you hold on to, like this?
- Yes.

Let me see, hang on.

Hello.

Hello!

That was actually really good,

that got me much more soaked
than I expected.

Yeah. I thought we were going over!

My whole life flashed before my eyes.

Man, I guess I've been,
I've been missing out.

But is there more to pools than just

dare-devilment and jejune frivolity?

What I want to now pursue is...

in history, what did they do?

How was the unique stamp put on pool life,
swimming pool life

in other cultures, in other times?

I will pursue it now.

As far back as 5000 years ago,

the ancient Egyptians
had hieroglyphic symbols

for the words "swimming" and "pools,"

but it took Roman engineering
for the construction

of the first pools
that were meant for swimming.

They were, by the way, heated.
And then, during the next few millennia,

pools were used in gardens
and in temples

to heal the sick, to make fishponds.

But it wasn't until 1868 that,
in the United States,

you know what opened?

Public baths.

And they weren't intended
for any swimming,

just for getting clean.

Yeah, since many of us didn't have
a bathroom,

city officials decided that we should
all get into a bit of hot water.

After that, we just went water-crazy,
en masse.

If you lined up all the 10.6 million pools
in the United States end to end,

you could swim around the world
nearly two and a half times.

Hey, you ever see that movie,
The Swimmer, with Burt Lancaster?

It's a good one. Anyway,

now we have pools
not just for recreation,

but for a whole bunch of other things,
including the quest for inner peace.

Nama-stay a while
and enjoy this next sequence.

That's a horrible joke, that's terrible.

There you are.

There you are. This must be the place.

I guess we have to...
I feel that sensitivity demands

that we start to hush ourselves up

and center ourselves,
because this is a place...

As it says here on the welcoming mat,

"float spa for the body, mind,
and spirit."

You know..."spa"!

I'm not exactly a spa fella.

And now, don't you know
you're in front of the spa?

So, who has their car alarm on?
Shut up! Shut up!

These are not extras,
these are actual other people.

I hope I'm not disturbing anybody.

Are you waiting for your floatation...
You are? Appointment?

You too?

Jeff, my name's Michael Ruskow,

I'm the owner and founder
here at Just Float.

-It's a pleasure to meet you.
-You know, I did not know that.

This is like some spy movie
where, you know...

"Mr. Bond, I'm Felix Lighter,
I'm your contact."

Already I'm falling into the deep pools
of your floating eyeballs.

Well, thank you.

- Thank you.
- Yes.

- Avert your eyes immediately.
- There you go, there you go.

- I'll get into this float ch... Whoa!
- All right.

- How's it feel? The water's good?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Ooh, you're getting in?
- We're... Yeah.

- Okay.
- I tell you, we're gonna get

- cozy and personal.
- My golly.

- All right.
- I'm gonna put this on your forehead.

It's called a brain station.
So, it's reading your brainwaves,

so, when your neurons firing, right,
when you think about something,

they create this electromagnetic field
on your scalp.

Dr. Gil da Costa
is a pioneering neuroscientist

whose cutting-edge gadgets
read peoples' brain waves.

What if they find out
that I'm Abby Normal?

So, Jeff, one thing that you can do
for your first few floats

is put this under your head.

-What do you do? You just do, like...
-Just put it like this. Exactly.

- Just like that?
- Just like that.

- Boy. Boy.
- And you'll see that...

- Hey, I am floating, that's fun.
- Yeah.

- Perfect. Just like that.
- Ready?

Just like that.

- Okay.
- All right?

- That good?
- Have fun. Enjoy your float, my friend.

- I'll see you on the other side.
- Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay, let me read a bit
from the information here.

Some evidence shows that floatation
can calm down the mentality

by regulating the stress hormone
called cortisol.

It can also help treat anxiety
and alleviate negative emotions

and boost our sense of well-being.

Regular floaters report feelings
of deep inner peace and spiritual insight,

but a note of caution...

in some cases,
sensory deprivation can lead to...

hallucinations.

Wait a minute. I don't want to be
William Hurt in Altered States.

Hi, Bill.

Good, good.

I feel kind of spacey.

But I never opened my eyes
that whole time.

Was that 45 minutes that I was there?

That's interesting.

- Well, give me the bad news.
- So, how are you feeling?

You know, I'm feeling
rather good right now.

I feel energized, clear, fresh...

-I feel good.
-Perfect.

So, we'll look at your data.
We'll look at your brain data.

- Yes, sir.
- It's interesting. So...

- "Interesting"?
- ...I'm gonna...

My dad used to say...
He was a doctor, my dad said...

"Heaven forbid you should be
an interesting case."

You were meditating, correct?

Well, yes, at the beginning,
I started to do something,

and then I, kind of,
went into a dream state.

The interesting thing,
which we don't see a lot,

we see it in expert meditators,
is you're doing this

very quick aural assessment of the brain

that is associated with creating
this mindfulness experience.

So, we see it in Tibetan monks,
for instance.

So, I'm actually envious.
I don't get to that point.

-You don't?
-Not yet.

Jeez, the mindfulness
of a Tibetan monk?

Well, that's another feather in my cap,
I guess.

In any case, if pools can take us
to the inner space of our minds,

where else could they possibly take us?

This can't be the end of our journey.

What would I now be interested in?

Hey, I'm just thinking now

that there are people, literally,
who are involved with pools and water

who literally go out of this world.

I won't say what I'm thinking,
I'll tell my producers, we'll confer,

and then maybe we'll take you there next.

My, my.

Hey, can you imagine what it's like
to really be in outer space?

Well, it turns out
that if you want to find out...

you can do it right here on Earth
in a pool.

You want to know where we are?

Well, I'm pointing to the name
on the building.

If it were a snake, it would bite you.

Take a gander at this.
It's one of the biggest,

most unbelievable pools in the world.

It's 200 feet long, 100 feet wide,
and 40 feet deep.

It holds 6.2 million gallons of water,

and submerged within it
is a full-scale replica

of the International Space Station.

Don't say I never take you anywhere.

We're in Houston, Texas,
and we're in...

I have never in my life been
inside a NASA facility.

This is the Neutral Buoyancy Lab.

And look, I'm gabbing so much.
Behind me...

is a craft of some kind.

Wait a second,

are we for sure going back to the moon?

But before any astronauts go there,

they got to train right here,

floating in water
instead of floating in space,

and scrutinized by mission control
exactly as if it was the real McCoy.

Well, here we are.

Who do you think is the astronaut
in this group here?

-How are you? Good to see you.
-Sir, good to see you.

-Have you been up in space?
-I have been in space.

- Where'd you go in space?
- Around the Earth once every 90 minutes

for five and a half months.

-You've got to be kidding.
-I'm not kidding.

My amazing guide,
Col. Mark Vande Hei,

has spent 168 days in space
and performed four spacewalks.

Kudos to the colonel.

There are a couple of astronaut candidates
getting suited up to get in the water.

Yes, Kayla and Loral.

Is it okay if we just say hi?

- Yeah. Hello.
- My gosh.

- Okay.
- My name is Jeff.

- You're on camera, I hope that's okay.
- That's okay.

You want to be an astronaut.

-Yes.
-You're going to be an astronaut.

-Yes, I hope so.
-I feel very strongly.

And what are you doing today?

Well, today we're training
in the Neutral Buoyancy Lab.

It's a really large pool,

large enough that we have a model
of the space station inside of it.

It's the biggest pool I've ever seen.

-This is Loral.
-Hi. I'm Loral.

-I'm Jeff.
-Nice to meet you.

- How long you been training?
- Two years.

-Two years.
-Yeah.

- Two years?
- Almost exactly.

They gotta go. Go all the way through.

It's time for Kayla and Loral

to start the long process of suiting up.

They're learning to spacewalk
submerged 40 feet down.

When they do it for real,
they're gonna be 240 miles up.

This is the high point
of my life, I tell you.

- Okay. Unbelievable.
- So, you can see, it's...

Let's look at that.
I can't believe it.

That suit is actually exactly like
the suit we would do

- in space, with a couple exceptions.
- Okay.

The backpack is a simulation

of the life support system.

Because she needs to get used
to being able to maneuver

with that same volume on her back,

but the life support system
that she'll have today

is provided by an umbilical,
which she won't have in space.

- How long's she gonna be in there?
- Six hours.

- Six hours?
- Yes.

-Whoa. Did she have a good meal before?
-I hope she did.

Did she go to the bathroom?

She did, but she'll probably
have to go again.

- And what happens...
- Not everybody has to go again.

What happens in the pool
when you gotta go to the bathroom?

We're all wearing diapers.
Space is a very sexy job.

I like that.

There she goes!
Look, look, look, look, look!

They're gonna lower her in!

She's waving to me, she's waving to me!

I'll see you there. I'm gonna come down...
I'm coming down and swimming.

We're go for test on EV1 and EV2.

EV1 and EV2,
this is comm operator. How do you copy?

- EV1 copies.
- EV2 copies.

EV2 is at the bottom.

Copy that, EV2 is on the bottom.

This may look like
just a few steps to you,

but this is one giant leap
for a very virile man.

I would just go in deep enough
to be able to sit down comfortably,

and that'll allow you to get your fins on.

- I like this temperature.
- And then...

Okay, I'm putting on the fins.

Only a handful
of Average Joes like me

have ever been allowed
to go diving in this pool,

so, right now,

I'm just the luckiest boy
on the face of the Earth.

Now, by using special floats and weights,
the divers are carefully adjusting

how much Kayla and Loral
rise or sink in the water,

and when both are equal,

the astronauts will be at what's called

- "neutral buoyancy..."
- There we go.

...which is the watery equivalent
of zero gravity.

And that's the closest thing
that we've got to outer space

here on our planet's surface.

Should be good to go.

It's space training made possible
by the power of the pool.

The magical feeling of being weightless
in water

is one of our primal sensations.

Just as all life began in the seas,
so, too, each and every one of us

began in the near-weightless environment
of a pool inside mother.

The womb, the womb!

But gravity drags us down.

As we get older, we get shorter,

wider, less flexible.

Regular exercise in water
can counteract this

by reducing blood pressure
and muscle tension,

and it rehabilitates injuries

and releases endorphins,
giving us a natural high.

And for some, being in water
can even turn back time.

Ladies and gentlemen.

the world-famous Aquadettes. Yay!

Look.

I think they've espied me.
They're waiting for me.

They've seen me, I've been spotted,
I've been spotted!

Don't let me interrupt...
What are you doing? You're practicing?

Okay, okay, they're right in the middle
of practicing.

Synchronized swimming,
or whatever it's called,

sends you into a transcendental,
intoxicated dream state.

It does me...
Boy.

Hi Jeff. Nice meeting you.
My God.

Sydney!

Nice to meet you, Laura.

-Hi Jeff.
-Hello.

-What's your name?
-Marilyn.

-Marilyn?
-Nice to meet you.

You have such soft kisses, Marilyn.

- I want to be on this team.
- Try it!

It's strictly gender-exclusive, though,
isn't it?

- Not in... Not today, not today.
- No, not anymore.

-How so?
-We have special...

- Aquadudes.
- ...a special day for Aquadudes, yes.

For Aquadudes?

And, you know, since you're here.

You are going to be our Aquadude.

That's what I was saying.
I want to be part of this.

I don't want to be left out
of this whole team.

- Water. It's very healing, isn't it?
- Yes. It is.

A lot of us here are 80,
or above 80,

- or almost 80, and...
- You don't look it,

-you look much younger.
-Yeah, we're all

-around that age, and...
-You look much younger.

-Amazing, isn't it? Yeah.
-That's amazing. Amazing.

All of us have different problems
in our body.

You know, shoulders, knees,
back surgeries, heart surgeries.

-Everything you can imagine.
-Heart surgeries?

-Yeah, yeah.
-And

you get in the water, and it's just like

- no gravity, no pain, no nothing.
- Right. Right.

- Everything goes away.
- Nothing hurts.

-You know? Nothing hurts anymore. Yeah.
-And nothing hurts.

I really think the water is healing.

- That... My gosh.
- There you go.

Hey.

-That is sexy.
-Yeah, yeah.

- Is that good?
- Yeah, that's good.

So, we're gonna go one...

-Yeah?
-...and two, and three,

and then we go
come around on four,

-and five is kinda like a little present.
-Present.

- Five, and six...
- Five, and six...

-...and seven...
-She's laughing at me or with me,

-I don't know.
-...and eight.

And you're gonna pull it in.
We're gonna do what's called

a porpoise. It's a stunt.

- A porpoise?
- A porpoise.

It's kinda like another breaststroke
at a 45-degree angle.

- Three...
- I like that.

- ...and four.
- Yeah, okay.

-Lift both your legs on five.
-I gotcha.

And then we're gonna go down.
Six...

-Okay.
-...and seven and eight.

Then we're gonna come around,

- we're gonna turn around.
- Turn around.

- And now we're gonna go that way.
- Okay.

What music am I imagining?

It's the "Waltz on the Blue Danube."

How's that go?

Okay, here we go.

Follow us if you dare.
This is gonna be great.

Or just leave us alone.

Maybe you should all
just amuse yourselves

while me and the Aquadettes
work on our routines.

Five and six
and seven and eight.

Yeah!

My watery excursion is at an end,
and, jeez, what have we learned?

Well, we've seen that

whether you're a water park adventurer
or socializer,

it's just plain fun to be in the water,
even when you're a grown-up Goldblum.

And we've learned that
when we're floating in a tank

or in NASA's Neutral Buoyancy Lab,

we can slip the surly bonds of Earth
and liberate our minds and our bodies.

And we've also seen how pools
might just be the Fountain of Youth.

But one more... one more thing.

Water...

is...

life.

Every living cell in your body
has some water in it.

In fact, you might even say
that all of us sapiens...

are made up of...

a collection of tiny...

little bitty pools.

You know, maybe that's why,
when you jump in them,

you feel so, so...

at home.

Sorry, bye-bye.