All language subtitles for The Cocoanuts (1929) - English

♪ In the lovely land of Florida,
sunny Florida by the sea... ♪

♪ All the sunshine in America
is in Florida, you'll agree. ♪

♪ When they're freezing
up north, sneezing up north... ♪

♪ Always it's July the Fourth
in the lovely land of Florida... ♪

♪ Sunny Florida, by the sea. ♪

- We want to see you Mr. Hammer.
- What's the matter? Somebody pay their bill?

- We want our money.
- Yes, money.

- You want your money?
- We want to get paid.

Oh, you want my money?
Is that fair? Do I want your money?

Suppose George Washington's
soldiers had asked for money...

- where would this country be today?
- But they did ask.

And where's Washington?

No my friends, no, money
will never make you happy.

And happy will never make you money,
that might be a wisecrack but I doubt it.

- We want our money.
- I'll make you all a promise.

If you'll all stick with me and
work hard, we'll forget about money.

Let's get together and make
a regular hotel out of this place.

I'll put writing
paper in the hotel next year...

you behave yourself, I'll put in envelopes.

And we'll put extra blankets free in all
your rooms, there'll be no cover charge.

Think, think of the
opportunities here in Florida.

Three years ago I came to
Florida without a nickel in my pocket...

now I got a nickel in my pocket.

That's all very well Mr. Hammer, we haven't
been paid in 2 weeks and we want our wages.

Wages? You want to be
wage slaves? Answer me that.

- No.
- No, of course not.

What makes wage slaves?
Wages, I want you to be free.

Remember, there's nothing like liberty except
Colliers and the Saturday Evening Post.

Be free my friends,
one for all and all for me...

and me for you and three
for five and six for a quarter.

Pard me, couple of
telegrams for you Mr. Hammer.

There you are, business is
beginning to pick up already.

Now if you boys will only be calm...

We arrive this afternoon on the 4:30,
kindly reserve two floors and three ceilings.

Must be mice.

If we like your property,
we will immediately buy it.

- See that thing is going our way already.
- Who's it from?

Western Union and
they got a lot of money too.

On the 4:15, eh?
Well, I'll take the bus down myself.

- Here's another one Mr. Hammer.
- See?

We're going to be stuffed by tonight.

This hotel will be so crowded that
we'll be turning away thousands of people.

If there's another hotel in
Cocoanut Beach cancel our reservations.

I knew it, it was too good. Wait a minute.

PS. Aunt Fanny had an 8 pound boy.
Can you come to the wedding?

You see, everything is
alright boys, everything is alright.

You're all invited to the wedding
of Aunt Fanny's 8 pound boy.

Hooray.

Oh but that won't
be for a couple of years yet.

In the meantime, I want
you to buck up, get down to work.

Let's put this thing over with a bang.

And, above all, forget about money.

Don't think of it, just forget about it,
because you won't get it anyway.

See that? I keep them
dancing for their money.

- Yeah.
- Jamison, I'm going down to meet the 4:15.

Yeah.

If I never come back, you know
I'll be still waiting for the train.

Yes sir.

And in my absence I'm relying on
you to take good care of everything.

- You can depend upon me sir.
- That's fine.

That's fine, if any guests come
in, take good care of them.

- Yeah.
- And think of me Jameson.

- You bet I will.
- I'll be back someday.

- Alright.
- Keep a light burning in the window.

Yeah.

- If you can find a window.
- Alright sir.

- Goodbye Jamison.
- Goodbye.

Hello Harvey, why so downhearted?

Is Bob Adams cutting
you out with Polly Potter?

I'm not worried about a hotel clerk.

No but I'll bet you're
worried about the Potter millions.

You generally could
use money in the old days.

Lay off that stuff.

You know, marrying Polly is the
only way for you to square your debts.

- I can take care of myself.
- I doubt it.

Suppose I have a little
plan that'll take care of both of us.

What do you mean?

Have you ever seen that
diamond necklace of Mrs. Potter's?

You bet I have.
What's that got to do with us?

Her room and my room are right next
to each other, her is 318. Mine, 320.

- The door between is unlocked.
- Well?

She keeps everything in a
jewel case locked up in her dresser.

The key is always in her bag,
that's what you've got to get.

It's a large order, but maybe it can be done.

Suppose I invite Mrs. Potter and
Polly to take supper with me tonight?

What then?

Sometime during the evening, I might
be able to get the key out of her bag.

Now you're talking.
That sounds more like old times.

Now I'll try to get rid of Bob Adams for you.

Now, this is Cocoanut
Manor, you know that hill?

What a question.
Do I know that cunning little hill?

It's cunning alright but that's why there
hasn't been any development here.

Couldn't it be cut down?

Too expensive, now here is what happened.

John W. Berryman
was here to see it last month.

You know, Berryman
practically built Palm Beach and Miami...

but he said he wouldn't touch this.

Now, when a man like that
passes a place up, no one wants it.

- Do you know anything about architecture?
- No but I'd love to learn.

Well, I made a drawing
of the whole place showing the hills...

as a built-up scheme, without cutting
down the hill or having it get in the way.

I, I made the hill fit in
with the architectural scheme.

I sent Berryman a copy last...

last week and his secretary wrote me a nice
note saying they were studying my plans.

That's thrilling.
Does Mr. Hammer know about it?

Not yet. But if he takes it,
I'll design the buildings.

- Say, I may be an architect yet.
- Oh, if he only does...

I'm sure it will be the
most beautiful place in the world.

It would be, if you lived there.

Look, see what I've written?

Heaven for Polly and me.

That looks great. When do I move in?

- Any day now.
- It's a lovely dream, Bob.

Let's make it come true.

♪ The skies will all be blue ♪

♪ When my dreams come true ♪

♪ And I'll be smiling through ♪

♪ When my dreams come true ♪

♪ That Spanish castle I built in my mind ♪

♪ Will be a love nest of the practical kind ♪

♪ And I'll be there with you ♪

♪ When my dreams come true ♪

♪ Ever since I met you ♪

♪ All that I seem to do is dream ♪

♪ Wonderful dreams ♪

♪ Heaven's before my eyes ♪

♪ When will I realize my dreams? ♪

♪ Wonderful dreams ♪

♪ The skies will all be blue ♪

♪ When my dreams come true ♪

♪ And I'll be smiling through ♪

♪ When my dreams come true ♪

♪ That Spanish castle I built in my mind ♪

♪ Will be a love nest of the practical kind ♪

♪ And I'll be there with you ♪

♪ When my dreams... ♪

♪ Come true ♪

- Will you look at that?
- I am looking.

Well, it's darn cute, I wonder who it can be.

Let's find out.

Then little Red Riding Hood said
to the wolf, wolf, wolf, wolf, wolf.

- Hello.
- Oh hello.

- How do you do Miss Potter?
- Hello.

Your mother is looking for you Polly.

She generally is and she generally finds me.

You know Mother, thanks a lot.

It was a lovely story Mr. Adams,
I'd like to hear the rest of it sometime.

Goodbye.

- I wonder if I could hear it sometime.
- With pleasure.

- How about you Yates?
- No thanks.

You know what happens
to bad little boys who tell stories?

Certainly. They marry
the beautiful princess, so long.

♪ And I'll be there with you... ♪

♪ When my dreams... ♪

♪ Come true ♪

Nice boy, the kind who
usually gets what he wants.

Not always, I might win out yet.

Well, miracles do happen.

Well Polly, you've
been out again with Mr. Adams.

But only for a little while Mother.

Why a daughter of mine
should fool around with a hotel clerk...

when she has the opportunity
of marrying one of the Boston Yates?

- Is more than I can understand.
- Oh, who cares about the Boston Yates?

Anyway, Bob isn't a clerk.

He's an architect, he's
only clerking until he can get started.

One who clerks Polly,
is a clerk and that settles it.

And I want you to remember that no Potter
has ever been involved in a single scandal.

How about Uncle Dick?

Polly, it's a well known fact
that your uncle was drunk at the time.

And another thing young lady...,

I'm quite tired of your sitting out
on the beach at all hours of the night.

Hey, hey...

Why don't you take
something for that insomnia.

- You ought to stop drinking so much coffee.
- I'm sorry sir.

- Hey, any luck with the 4:30?
- Yes, it didn't hit me.

That's the only luck I had with her.

Mr. Hammer, I think I know
what's wrong with the hotel.

I think I know too, you're fired.
Get your hat and my coat and get out.

- Maybe the season hasn't started yet.
- Maybe the hotel hasn't opened yet.

Don't worry Mr. Hammer, in a
few weeks you'll be cleaning up.

Yes and making the beds. Go on, get
out of here, I can handle this rush myself.

Six hundred rooms in the
hotel and you have to sleep here.

- How do you do?
- Why don't you whistle at the crossing?

You're just the woman I'm looking for.

And now if you like it or not I'm going
to tell you about Florida real estate.

It's the five time it's ever been
mentioned down here today.

I'm sorry but...

Do you know that property values
have increased 1929 since 1,000%?

Do you know that this is the biggest
development since Sophie Tucker?

Do you know that Florida is the show...

spot of America and Cocoanut
Beach is the black spot of Florida?

- You told me about this yesterday.
- I know but I left out a comma, look.

In a little while, we're going to
hold an auction sale at Cocoanut Manor...

it's a buy terrible, beautiful.

You must come over, there's going to be
entertainment, sandwiches and the auction.

If you don't like auctions,
we can play Contract.

Here it is, Cocoanut Manor.
42 hours from Times Square by railroad.

1,600 miles as the crow flies,
1,800 as the horseflies.

There you are, Cocoanut Manor, glorifying
the American sewer and the Florida sucker.

Why, it's the most exclusive
residential district in Florida.

Nobody lives there and the climate,
ask me about the climate, I dare you.

- Very well, how...
- I'm glad you brought it up.

Our motto is, Cocoanut Beach,
no snow, no ice and no business.

Do you know that Florida is the
greatest State in the Union.

- Is it?
- Take its climate, no, we took that.

Take its fruits, the alligator pears.
Take all the alligator pears and keep them.

See if I care.

- Do you know how alligator pears are made?
- Haven't the least idea.

There you are and that because
you've never been an alligator...

and don't let it happen again.

You know that sometimes requires years
to bring the pear and alligator together.

They don't like each other.

- No.
- No.

Do you know how many
alligator pears are sent out the lState...

- every year and told not to comeback?
- I don't think I do.

All they can get a hold of.

Florida feeds the nation...

but nobody feeds me and that's
what I want to talk with you about.

- Mr. Hammer...
- Another thing, take our cattle raising.

I don't mean anything personal.
But here is the ideal cattle raising section.

We have longhorns, shorthorns and shoehorns.

Mr. Hammer, will you
let me say something please?

I hardly think so and there's something
else I want to bring to your mind.

Where will you be when you're 65?
That's only about three months from now.

If I were to buy, I should
prefer some place like Palm Beach.

Palm Beach? The Atlantic
City of yesterday? The slums of tomorrow?

Do you know that the population of Cocoanut
Beach had doubled in the past week?

- Has it?
- Three bulldogs were born.

We're expecting a nanny goat in the morning.

- I'm sorry but I'm afraid I must be going.
- Ah no, don't go.

Before you go let me show you a sample
of my sewer pipe we're going to lay.

Look at it, nobody can fool you on a sewer
pipe, can't they? A woman like you?

Now this is the 8 inch pipe but of course...

all property owners will be allowed
to vote on the size of the pipe.

In case of a tie it goes to Supreme Court...

and I can give you a little
inside information in advance.

The Chief Justice is crazy
about this type of sewer.

Here, put it in your pocket, I see you later.

Mr. Hammer, I can't
use this, I don't want it.

Hello. Yes?

Ice water in 318?

Is that so? Where you
get it? Oh, you want some?

Oh, that's different, have you got any ice?

No, I haven't. This is
Cocoanut Beach, no snow, no ice.

Get some onions,
that will make your eyes water.

What?

You too.

Oh Mr. Hammer Mrs. Thompson wants
to know if you'd reserve a dinner table...

for dinner for her in a nice quiet spot.

- A nice quiet spot?
- Yeah.

Tell her she dine in the lobby.

Say, we ought to dress
this place up a bit, it looks terrible.

Front.

Front.

Front, here front.

Here, front.

Front, front, front...

Jamison, what's become
of our front? Are we all out of front?

Haven't seen them.

I'm going to fire some of
those people, give me the fire bell.

Hey, why wont you stick around here?

Listen, if anybody comes in looking
a customer, tie them and brand them.

Yes sir.

Look at him, he's dress better than I am.

Hey, come on, come on.

Hey, come here, come here.

Come here alright gentlemen gentlemen.

- Ah, how do you do?
- How do you do?

What are you boys? Giving me
the runaround? Come over here.

Now, what do you want?
What do you want? Explain your business.

- We sent you a telegram.
- Oh, you're the boys who sent the telegram.

- How do you do?
- That's a coincidence.

- I used to send telegrams myself.
- How are you?

And how are you?

That's all right, don't worry, hey...

Say, you can stay but you'll have to
take that groundhog out of here.

Now, what do you want? Explain you business.

- We make a reserveish.
- Reserveish?

Yes, we want a room and no bath.

Oh I see, you're just here for the winter.

Well, step this way and
I'll see what I can do for you.

Alright. We stay for the summer too.

I'm sorry boys but
we haven't got any vacancies.

- He's got no vacancies?
- We got plenty of rooms.

It's all right, we
take a room. You want a room?

- Alright.
- Alright, we take a vacancy.

Oh boy, take the gentleman's baggage.

What are you? What?

Hey, hey, do you know that suitcase is empty?

That's all right, we'll
fill it up before we leave.

Oh, you will, eh?
Well, you'll empty it before I go out.

Now, step this way boys and...

just put your moniker around
there and everything will be AK.

- Look what he do.
- Don't do that.

Step right this way
boys, three shots for five.

- He never misses.
- The boy wins the gold cigar.

Anybody else? Step right this way.

Hey, hey, hey, hey. Don't throw that.
That's only for long distance.

Alright, all right.

Now then, what do you want?
Would you like a suite on the third floor?

No, I'll take a Polack in the basement.

Well, you'll have to take that up with
the Commissary department, that way...

Entirely different proposition and I can't...

Here you are.

Let me help you here.

I, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
the afternoon mail isn't in yet.

- Say, I can use you the first of the month.
- Telegram for Mr. Hammer.

Telegram?

Just tell them I'll send
them the money in the morning.

Now then, what do you want?

- What do you want? You want a single room?
- We'd like to double up.

- Well, eat some green apples.
- Just a joke.

What's that? You'll
have to talk louder, I can't hear you.

If you take your nose out
of the receiver, it'll be Ok. I...

Funny fella, you.

Hello, what's that?

You want to know where
you can get a hold of Mrs. Potter?

I don't know. She's awfully ticklish.

Now, I'm in a position gentlemen but...

He's a hungry.

Here, have one of these
flowers, they're buckwheat.

Pick out a nice one now. I don't
want you to get any of the worst ones.

There you are, I'm so glad.

Now, if you boys will
pardon me for a few moments...

I have some very
important business to attend to.

As a matter of fact, I'm going upstairs
to get your partner a stomach pump.

- He needs one.
- And I'll be down in a few minutes.

And while I'm gone, don't forget, register.

Hey, don't forget, register.

It's all right.

Hello? Hello? No, we no got a no rooms.

We got a nothing, we got a no
customers, we got a nothing.

Alright, I send you up a some.
Alright, goodbye.

Did you ring sir?

Did you ring sir?

Come on, come here, come here.
Get away from those girls, come on.

Hurry up.

- Alright then but let's be careful.
- I will.

Tell me, how is it that the door between
your room and Mrs. Potter's is open?

Well, you see, I told her that I trusted her.

You trusted her?

Hey, stop that.

- Come on, we dance.
- Really?

Come Penelope.

Let's get away from this bum.

Bum, bum, bum, bum.

- I could kill those tramps.
- Wait a minute, don't kill them yet.

- I've got an idea.
- About them?

Listen, when the necklace is found
missing, someone got to be blamed.

- Why not them?
- Gee, that's not bad.

But have you got anything definite?

Suppose I flirt with them and
they come to my room, then what?

I'll complain to the management.

Then on the night the necklace disappeared
they were seen near Mrs. Potter's.

- Get it?
- You bet I get it.

- That's a grand idea.
- Thanks, kind sir.

Well, I got to run along now, see you later.

Goodbye.

Hey, hey, what
you do, eh? All the time you eat.

That's a no good, we got to get the money.

Right now I'd do anything for money, I'd kill
somebody for money, I'd kill you for money.

No, no, you're
my friend, I kill you for nothing.

What do you laugh, eh? You're in the hotel
three hours and you no got a something yet.

What do you got?

A beautiful watch, that's a fine,
that's a fine, that's all you steal?

Hey.

- I think I know your face.
- I give up, whose is it?

I'll tell you in a minute, I brought
some pictures from headquarters.

Let me see your face.

Yours too.

Alright alright, I make my own face.

What's the matter you push, eh? No pushing.
You want to fight? You want to fight?

Come on, come on, start. Come on.

That's no funny, you fight upstairs.

Hey, what are you guys fighting for?

We no fight, that's
a my friend, we play this way.

What are you doing
around here? What's your name?

I'm pretty suspicious of you birds.
Now you listen to me.

I haven't got anything on you yet,
but I'm going to keep watching.

I got your full records
right here in my pocket.

There's enough to send you up the
minute you start anything, you get me?

Wise guy, wise guy. I got to start a
fight when detective come around.

You can't wait a
little bit, eh? What do you got?

A badge? That's a fine, he's
a no more detective, you're a detective.

Hurry along my dear, just ride the
curb, only a few minutes to get to the train.

Can you tell me what time is
the next train to Philadelphia?

Train? Ah, once a week,
sometimes twice a day.

- Thank you.
- It's all right.

That's a fine.

A little tight, need something taken out.

Alright keep it, it's just what I need, coat
like this. That's a fine, eh? To look good.

- Hello.
- How do you do?

- That's a good-looking coat you have on.
- You like it, eh?

Do you know you
look like the prince of Wales?

Better.

- Where you get that coat?
- That's a my coat.

- That's your coat?
- That's a my coat.

- But it doesn't fit you.
- I know, I had it made to order.

Tell me, what are you doing tonight?

Maybe you got a good idea, eh?

Well, don't you dare come
to room 320 at 11 o'clock.

Alright, I come half past 10.

Did you see a
handkerchief? I thought I dropped one.

Well, it really doesn't matter because
what I'm really interested in is you.

Did anyone ever tell you that you
looked like the prince of Wales?

That's funny, I thought
it was an original idea of mine.

Tell me, do you know who I am?

You know my room number?

Well, I'll be there 11 o'clock tonight.

Did anyone ever tell you
you look like the prince of Wales?

I don't mean the present
prince of Wales, one of the old Wales.

And believe me,
when I say Wales, I mean Wales.

I know a whale when I see one.

Did you say your room was 318?

You know, I'm the proprietor of this hotel
and I've a passkey to every room in it.

- Passkey?
- Passkey, that's Russian for pass.

You know they passkey down the streetskey.

Won't you lie down?

Ah, if we could find a little bungalow, eh?

Of course, I know we could find one,
but maybe the people wouldn't get out.

But I think if we could find a nice little
empty bungalow just for me and you...

where we could bill and cow,
no, where we could bull and cow.

- Do you know what you're trying to say?
- Yes, it's not what I'm thinking of.

What I meant was,
if we had a nice little bungalow...

and you was inside and I was outside trying
to get in or inside trying to get out...

Oh no, I was in, you was up.
You were inside out and I was up...

Oh no, I'll tell you, if you don't hear from
me by next Friday, the whole thing is off.

- I don't think I understand.
- I mean, your eyes, your eyes.

They shine like the pants
of a blue serge suit.

What? That's an insult.

That's not a reflection on you.
That's upon the pants.

What I meant was if we had a nice
bungalow and I came home from work...

and you were standing by the gate...

no, you came home from work and I was
standing by the gate, that's more I like it.

And we came down
the path and we went inside...

and the shades were drawn
and the lights were low and, then...

- Are you sure your husband is dead?
- Why, yes.

There seems to be a trace
of uncertainty in that yes.

You know, a yes like that was once
responsible for me jumping out of a window.

And I'm not the jumper I used to be.

What I meant was, you're going to be here all
winter and I'm stuck with the hotel anyhow.

Why don't you grab me until
you can make other arrangements?

My dear Mr. Hammer, I shall never
get married before my daughter.

You did once.

Oh but I love you, I love you.
Can't you see how I'm infighting for you?

- What in the world is the matter with you?
- Oh, I'm not myself tonight.

I don't know who I am,
one false move and I'm yours.

I love you, I love you anyhow.

- I don't think you'd love me if I were poor.
- I might but I'd keep my mouth shut.

I'll not stay here any longer
and be insulted this way.

Don't go away and leave me here
alone, you stay here and I'll go away.

I don't know what to say.

Oh say that you'll be truly
mine or truly yours or yours truly.

- Ain't you know that I'm...
- Will you keep your hands to yourself.

Come on, I'll play you one more game.

Come on, the three of you.

Can you come down a little bit?

Just think Tonight Tonight...

when the moon is sneaking around
the clouds, I'll be sneaking around you.

I'll meet you tonight under the moon.
Oh, I can see you now, you and the moon.

You wear a necktie so I'll know you.

Send up some ice water
right away, that's right, thank you.

- Thank goodness.
- Close the door.

- Did you get the key?
- Yes, it's one of these.

Oh, that's fine. Listen, we
can't take any chances on this job.

How do you mean?

It's bound to be trouble
when she misses the necklace.

- Well?
- Well, we can't have found on us.

I should say not.

We got to play safe and
hide it somewhere for a while.

- Hide it?
- Just for a few days.

- Yes but where?
- Anywhere but in here.

Hide it? I know just the place.

A hollow tree stump about
a mile from here, will that do?

- Fine but how do I get there?
- It's Cocoanut Manor, you've been out there.

- I'm not so sure, Harvey.
- Here, I'll show you.

Now, you, you go right out Cocoanut Road.

Then there's Augustine Road, like this,
but instead, you take the Granada Road.

Suddenly, you come to a clearing
with a fringe of trees around it.

That's Cocoanut Manor, where the stump is.

It's about 20 feet
from the edge of the clearing.

That's where you put
the jewels, you can't miss it.

Now you take the
necklace right out there, see?

I got to go back downstairs,
or Mrs. Potter will be suspicious.

- And be careful.
- I will.

Cocoanut Manor, Granada Road,

20 feet from the clearing.

Everything is going along swimmingly now.

- You remember me? Prince of Wales?
- Why, yes, of course I do but...

Mr. Hammer, how dare you come into my room?

Hey hear, if there's gong to be two
people in this room, it'll be 50 cents extra.

- Did he go?
- Who?

Anybody.

Get out. Oh Prince, you frightened me.

This hotel not only has
running water, has running guests.

- You remember me? Prince of Wales?
- Who is it?

- It's me, the king of England.
- My father.

Come in.

- Ice water.
- Put it there.

- Thank you.
- Thank you? Why didn't you give him a dime?

Come in.

Lay down.

Well, I never, I should say not.
You get out of here, get out. Hurry, hurry.

Come in.

What is the matter with that man?

Mr. Hammer, what are you doing in my room?

Don't you dare
take that coat off in this room.

You get out of here as fast as you can go.

- I was only playing, that's all.
- I'll find out about this outfit.

Thank goodness he's gone.
Never mind, Operator.

Come in.

Who are you?

That's all right,
I'll be through in a minute.

- Well, I guess there's nobody in here.
- You don't know where to look.

What's that you said?

Oh, this is awful.
When you quite finished, let me know.

Well, everything seems
to be all right in here.

I'm not so sure about that.

Alright, I know where to go.

Alone at last.

Come over here. I want to see you.

Now listen to me, I'm not going to have that
red headed fella running around in the lobby.

You want to keep him up in the room,
you'll have to keep him in a trap.

- I can't catch him.
- Who is he?

- That's a my partner but he no speak.
- Oh, that's your silent partner.

Well, anyhow, you wired me about
some property. I've thought it over.

Now, I can let you have
three lots watering the front...

or I can let you have
three lots fronting the water.

Now, these lots cost me 9,000 dollars and
I'm going to let you have them for 15...

- because I like you.
- I no buy nothing.

- What?
- I no got a no money.

- You got a no money?
- I no got a one cent.

- How you going to pay for your room?
- That's your lookout.

Oh, you're just an idle roomer.

Well, you see, we come here to make money.

I read in the paper and it say,
Big Boom In Florida, so we come.

We're a couple of big booms too.

Well, I'll show you how
you can make some real money.

I'm going to hold an auction
in a little while in Cocoanut Manor.

- You, you know what an auction is, eh?
- I come from Italy on the Atlantic Auction.

Well, let's go ahead as if nothing happened.

I say I'm holding an
auction at Cocoanut Manor.

And when the crowd gathers
around, I want you to mingle with them.

Don't pick their
pockets, just mingle with them...

I'll find time for both.

Well, maybe we can cut out the auction.

Here's what I mean, if somebody
says 100 dollars, you say two.

- If somebody says two, you say three.
- Bid up.

That's right, if nobody says
anything, then you start it off.

How am I going to know
when they no say nothing?

Well, they'll probably notify you.

You fool, if they don't say
anything, you'll hear them, won't you?

- Well, maybe I no listen.
- Well, don't tell them.

Now then, if we're successful disposing...

these lots, I'll see
that you get a nice commission.

- And how about some money?
- Well, you can have your choice.

Now, in arranging these lots,
of course, we use as blueprints.

- You, you know what a blueprint is, eh?
- It's oysters.

- How is you never got double pneumonia?
- I go around by myself.

- You know what a lot is?
- Yes too much.

I, I don't mean a whole lot.
Just a little lot with nothing on it.

Anytime you got a too much, you got a
whole lot. Look, I explain it to you.

Sometimes you no got a
enough too much, got a whole lot.

Sometimes you got a
little bit, you no think that's enough.

Somebody else maybe think it's
a too much, it's a whole lot too.

Now, a whole lot is a too much,
too much is a whole lot, the same thing.

The next time I see you, remind
me not to talk to you, will you?

Alright, maybe...

Come over here Rand McNally,
and I'll explain this thing to you.

Now look, this is a map and diagram
of the whole Cocoanut section.

This whole area is within a radius of
approximately three-quarters of a mile.

Radius, is there a remote possibility
that you know what radius means?

- It's a WGZ.
- Well, I walked right into that one.

It's going to be a cinch explaining the
rest of this thing to you, I can see that.

- I catch on quick.
- That's a rodeo you're thinking of.

Look Einstein, here's Cocoanut Manor.

No matter what you say,
this is Cocoanut Manor.

Here's Cocoanut Manor.
Here's Cocoanut Heights.

That's a swamp and...

right over here where the road
forks, that's Cocoanut Junction.

Where you got Cocoanut Custard?

That's on one of the forks.

You probably eat with your knife,
so you won't have to worry about that.

Now, here is the main road
leading out of Cocoanut Manor.

That's the road I wish you were on.

Now, over here on this site we're
going to build an eye and ear hospital.

This is going to be a sight for sore eyes.

- You understand?
- That's fine.

Now, right over here,
this is the residential section.

- Oh, people live there?
- No, that's the stockyards.

Now all along here, this is the riverfront...

and all along the river, all along
the river, those are all levees.

That's the Jewish neighborhood?

Well, we'll pass over that.

You're a peach boy.

Now, here is a little peninsula and here
is a viaduct leading over to the mainland.

- Why a duck?
- I'm all right, how are you?

I say here is a little peninsula and here's
a viaduct leading over to the mainland.

Alright, why a duck?

I'm not playing, ask
me another, I say that's a viaduct.

Alright, why a duck?
Why a duck? Why a no chicken?

Oh, don't know why a no chicken.

I'm a stranger here myself,
all I know is that it's a viaduct.

You try to cross over there
a chicken and you'll find out viaduct.

- I no go someplace...
- It's deep water, that's why a duck.

- Deep water.
- That's why a duck.

Look, look here, suppose you were out
horseback riding and you came to that...

stream and you wanted to ford over.
You couldn't make it, it's too deep.

But what do you want
with a Ford if you got a horse?

Well, I'm sorry the matter ever
came up, all I know is that it's a viaduct.

Alright alright, I catch on to why a horse...

why a chicken, why a this,
why a that. I no catch on to why a duck.

Well, I was only fooling, I was only fooling.

They're going to build
a tunnel there in the morning.

- Now, is that clear to you?
- Yes, everything except why a duck.

Well, that's fine, then
we can go ahead with this thing.

Now, look, I'm going to take you
down and show you our cemetery.

I got a waiting list of 50 people
at that cemetery just dying to get in.

- But I like you.
- You're my friend.

I like you and I'm going to
shove you in ahead of all of them.

I know you like me.

I'm going to see
that you get a steady position.

- That's a good.
- If I can arrange it, it'll be horizontal.

Now remember, when the auction
starts, if somebody says 100 dollars...

- I say 200.
- That's grand.

- Now, if somebody says 200.
- I say 300.

That's great. Now, you
know how to get down there?

- No...
- Now look, now look here.

You go down there,
down that narrow path there...

until you come
to that little jungle there, you see it?

- Where those thatched palms are.
- Yes, I see.

And then there's a little clearing there, a
little clearing with a wire fence around it.

- See that, see that wire fence there?
- Alright. Why a fence?

Oh no, we're not going
to go all through that again.

You come along with me and I'll...

I know what you mean, bid them up.
Go higher. One say 100, 200, 300.

That's it, if somebody says 100 dollars, you
say 200, somebody says two, you say three.

Help me put this deal over,
you can have anything you got.

- I got a nothing.
- Be alert. That's it. Be alert.

Be alert or papa don't go out at all.

I'd be alert, I don't
know what it is but I be it.

All you suckers who are going to get
trimmed, step this way for the big swindle.

Ladies and gentlemen, before proceeding
with the main business of the day...

which is the selling of
these lots at any price...

we're going to have a little
entertainment, very little.

I want to present to you Miss Polly
Potter, the best paying guest in the hotel.

In fact, the only paying guest in the hotel.

She will sing for you
and for me too Miss Potter.

♪ Monkeys upon a tree never are very blue. ♪

♪ They never seem
to be under par that is true. ♪

♪ Not like the ones
you see on a bar in the zoo. ♪

♪ Monkeys upon a tree
do the monkey doodle doo. ♪

♪ Oh, among the mangoes
where the monkey gang goes... ♪

♪ You can see them do
the little monkey doodle doo. ♪

♪ Oh, a little monkey
playing on his one key... ♪

♪ Gives them all the cue
to do the monkey doodle doo. ♪

♪ Let me take you by the
hand over to the jungle band. ♪

♪ If you're too old for dancing
get yourself a monkey gland. ♪

♪ And then let's go, my little dearie... ♪

♪ Here's the Darwin
theory telling me and you... ♪

♪ To do the monkey doodle doo. ♪

That's Florida folks,
sing, dancing and entertainment.

After the entertainment,
there'll be sandwiches.

But remember, if there are no lots
sold, there will be no sandwiches.

Florida folks, sunshine, sunshine.
Perpetual sunshine all the year around.

Let's get the auction
started before we get a tornado.

Right this way, step forward everybody.

Friends, you are now in Cocoanut
Manor, one of the finest cities in Florida.

Of course, we still need a few
finishing touches but who doesn't?

This is the heart the residential district.

Every lot is a
stone's throw from the station.

As soon as they throw enough
stones, they're going to build a station.

800 wonderful
residences will be built right here.

Why, they're as good as up, better.

You can have any kind of a home you want to.

You can get stuck off,
Oh, how you can get stuck out.

Now is the time to buy
while the new boom is on.

Remember that old saying,
a new boom sweeps clean?

And don't forget the
guarantee, my personal guarantee.

If these lots don't double in value in a
year, I don't know what you can do about it.

Now then we'll take lot number 20, lot number
20, right at the corner of DeSota Avenue.

Of course, you all know who
DeSota was? He discovered a body of water.

You've all heard of the water that
they named after him, DeSota Water.

Now this lot has a 20 foot frontage, a
14 foot backage and a mighty fine gobbet.

Now, what am I offered for this lot?
Anything at all? Anything at all?

200 dollars.

Ah, a gentleman
bids 200 dollars, who say 300?

300 dollars.

Another gentleman
says 300 dollars, do I hear four?

400 dollars.

Well, the auction is practically over.

It's all over but the
shooting, I'll attend to that later.

- 500 dollars.
- Do I hear 600?

- 600 dollars.
- Sold for 600 dollars.

Wrap up that lot
and put some poison ivy on it.

Yes sir.

Well, I came out even
on that one, that was a big success.

Yeah, one more success like that and
I'll sell my body to a medical institute.

Now, we'll take lot number 21.

There it is, right over there, right over
there folks right where that coconut tree is.

- What am I offered for lot number 21?
- 200 dollars.

Why, my friend, there's over 200
dollars worth of milk in those coconuts.

And what milk, milk
from contented cow-conuts.

- Who will say 300?
- 300 dollars.

- 300 dollars.
- 400.

- 400.
- 500, 600, 700, 800, what the heck I care?

What the heck do you care? But how about me?

Sold to What The Heck for 800 dollars.

I hope all your teeth have cavities.

And don't forget, abscess
makes the heart grow fonder.

When he said why a duck,
I should've smelled a rat.

I did but I didn't know who it was.

Now, we'll take lot number 22.
What am I offered for lot number 22?

- 100 dollars.
- Sold for 100 dollars.

200 dollars.

Believe me, you got to get up
early if you want to get out of bed.

- Now, we'll take lot number 23.
- 200 dollars.

Hey, what you going to do
with all these lots? Play lotto's?

- Who say 300?
- 400.

- 400? Do I hear five?
- 500 dollars.

500 dollars, sold to
this gentleman for 500 dollars.

- 700.
- 700 dollars...

- Sold to this gentleman...
- 800 dollars.

Do I hear nine?

- Do I hear nine?
- You hear nine, you'll hear 10.

I hear 10, you'll hear plenty.

Do I hear nine? Will the gentleman
who said seven say nine?

Will the gentleman who said seven
say seven again?

- Will you say six?
- He say six, I say seven.

He say seven, I say eight.
He say eight, I say nine.

I got a plenty of numbers left.

When I start, I no a stop for nothing.

I bid them up, I go higher.
Higher, higher all the time.

Yeah, you'll go
higher when I get a hold of you.

Sold to Hiawatha for 800 dollars.
Get away from that tree before it dies.

- What am I offered for lot number 24?
- 50 dollars.

- Sold for 50...
- 200 dollars.

- Too late too late.
- Yeah too late all the time.

Now, we'll take lot number 25,
right where you're standing.

Will you please get your feet off
this lot? You're getting it all dirty.

Now, here's a lot folks, it
doesn't look very big on top but...

it's all yours as far down as
you want to go and it's very cheap.

Now, what am I offered for lot number
25? Anything at all, who start it off?

Anyone at all, anyone...

What's become of Peter Rabbit?

What am I offered for lot 25?

Come on folks, you know you're
allowed to bid, this is a free country.

What am I offered for lot 25?

What am I offered for lot 25 and a
year's subscription to Youth's Companion?

Oh, somebody take a year's subscription?
I'm trying to work my way through college.

Will somebody take a six month's
subscription? I'll go to high school.

Is anybody want to buy a lead pencil?

I'll wrestle anybody
in the crowd for five dollars.

Well, if there's not going to be any
more bidding, I might as well quit.

What's the matter with you
people? Can't you visualize bargains?

Don't you want to make money?

I'm going to try one more
lot and if I don't dispose of it...

I'm going to fold up, you get me?

Now, we're going to take lot number 26,
the star lot of the whole proceedings.

Here it is. Right there
where the stump of that tree is.

Overlooking the oceanfront,
one of the finest sites in Florida.

- Now somebody make me an offer.
- 200 dollars.

- 300 dollars.
- Who say 400?

- 400 dollars.
- 400 dollars,

Do I hear, keep Winnie the Pooh
out of here, he'll ruin me. Who say 500?

- 500 dollars.
- 500 dollars.

- Six? Come on.
- 800 dollars.

800 dollars. Now,
there's a gentleman with vision...

and a nice haircut, there's a
gentleman with vision. Who say 1,000?

1000 dollars.

Now, there's a gentleman with double vision
and a better haircut. Who say 1,100?

- 1,100.
- 1,100.

There's a gentleman with
astigmatism, twelve once? Come on.

- Now twelve.
- 1,200 dollars.

Twelve, hail and farewell.
Who say 13? 13, come on. 13.

- I'll bid...
- Thirteen? Do I hear 13?

Twelve? Twelve once, twelve twice.

Sold to Mr. Adams for 1,200 dollars.

And a mighty
fine piece of property you got there buddy.

- Oh, Bob, you got it.
- Make a note of that.

What, what happened? I protest against that.

I didn't have a chance to bid.

What do you mean young man? I want you
to understand I don't discriminate.

You had the same opportunity
as everybody else.

Mr. Hammer Mr.Hammer, I've been robbed.

- What?
- My necklace in your hotel.

Oh Mother.

It's worth 100,000 dollars.

- Was it valuable?
- Was it valuable?

I'll give a thousand
dollars' reward for its return.

You hear that? This little lady
is lost a necklace worth $100,000...

and she offers a thousand
dollars' reward for its return.

- 2,000.
- Sold for 2000 dollars, make a note of that.

Coming through,
coming through, I'll take charge of this.

All you people get back and give
us plenty of room and keep quiet.

- Cut that out.
- Now, get back, get back.

What's the matter? What? He hurt you?

No push boy.

Come on, all right. Start fighting, go on.

Mr. Hammer, what's the matter with him?

I don't know where he's from.
He hasn't any license on him.

What is it? What?

Yes, that's it, that's it. You dear man.

Oh, I'm so happy, I must kiss you again.

So that's it. I saw you
in that room last night.

Grabbing off stuff for the reward,
eh? Now then, you, come clean.

Hey. Let go of that.

Alright, leave him go. Come on, leave him go.

How you know that necklace was there?

- Oh officer, may I make a suggestion?
- What is it?

Isn't it possible that the gentleman who...

bought this lot
might know something about it?

- Why was he so anxious to buy it?
- How about it you? Why did you buy this lot?

None of your business.

- He is a desperate character.
- Oh mother, he isn't.

Whenever a young fella shuts up
and won't say anything, I've noticed...

it's generally on account of a woman.

- Who is she?
- None of your business, I won't say a word.

You won't say anything, this
guy is letting on to be a dummy.

This bird you can't
understand when he does talk.

Ah, shut on.

- Is there anybody here who will talk?
- I will but I can't think of anything.

Well, if you won't tell me
about it, you'll tell somebody else.

- Wait a minute, you mean to say that...
- That's enough, come on.

- Please please don't take him.
- What?

Oh, I didn't want you to steal it
Bob, I'd no idea that you'd do it.

- Oh, I feel awful.
- What are you talking about?

- Bob, what does she mean?
- Polly?

- So that's it.
- Oh, it's all my fault.

I'd no idea he'd think that I meant it.
Bob, I didn't want you to do it.

I just meant that
you could give me one like it.

Wait a minute, are you accusing
me of taking Mrs. Potter's necklace?

Well, I'm taking all the blame myself.
I was joking and you took me seriously.

Bob, last night when you told me that
you'd taken it, I just couldn't believe.

Told you I'd taken what?

Why, Polly, she's out of her mind.

- I sounds quite plausible to me.
- Mother?

He didn't know what he was
doing, I begged him to take it back.

Say, I'm not going to
stand for any more of this.

Why, the whole
thing is ridiculous, it's absurd.

You people really
think for one moment that...

Oh I, I don't care
what you think, any of you.

Polly, you know it's a lie, don't you?

It was just a harmless flirtation,
and then, well, he lost his head.

- Don't you know it's a lie?
- Why, of course I do.

You don't think I'd believe a silly
story like that, do you?

- Polly?
- Mother, I don't believe it.

Mr. Adams, I must ask you
never to speak to my daughter again.

- Mrs. Potter...
- Bob, I'm going with you.

- You'll stay here.
- Yes Polly.

You stay here, it's only for a little while.

- Why, the whole thing is ridiculous.
- You ready?

- Yes.
- Oh, I'm so sorry, Bob.

Don't keep it up any longer.

Alright, I'll have a confession
out of him in half an hour.

- Come on, you.
- Bob, will you come back here.

Now we'll take lot number 27.

I've been so unsuccessful
in disposing these other lots...

that I'm going to give away a half a pound
of tea with every lot I sell from now on.

There's only one way
might wipe out this disgrace.

You must make people forget
that you ever knew this young man.

Mother, what are you saying?

You see what's come of your
way, now I'm going to have mine.

- Mr. Yates?
- Yes Mrs. Potter?

My daughter has
reconsidered her answer to you.

- Mother?
- Your engagement will be announced tonight.

That's wonderful Polly.

- I shall give a dinner at the hotel.
- A dinner? A dinner?

- You want the 30 or the 40 cent dinner?
- You may invite everyone.

It's 50 with Jell-O
and, oh, how you can Jell-O.

- In honor of the engagement of my daughter.
- I see.

Mr. Harvey Yates.

Let me be the last
to congratulate you and you too.

I'm sure you'll have a very
dismal wedding with this guy.

- Congratulations Mr. Yates.
- Congratulations Polly.

- Coming Polly?
- In a minute.

- Please go ahead.
- Now what's the matter dear?

- Nothing please go.
- Alright, I'll wait for you.

You got the key?

That's fine. Hey, wait, wait, look.

I got the saw, now you got to get a
something we get a Bob out, hurry up.

Bob. Hey Bob, hey Bob.

- How do you do? How do you do?
- What you doing here?

- I didn't know they allowed visitors here.
- I'm a no visitor, we come to get you out.

We got to be quick too.

Oh, thanks very much,
you shouldn't have bothered but...

I might as well stay here as any other place.

You got to come out. Polly, she wants you.

Polly wants me?

She got to have you because
tonight she's going to be engaged.

Engaged?

Yes, going to be married. Mrs. Potter,
she's going to give a big engagement dinner.

- To who?
- To Polly, engaged to Polly.

- Everybody is going to be there, you too.
- Polly is going to marry Yates?

That's right, that's right.

Come on, let me out of
here, get me out of here quick.

Ok, we get you out.
Hey paesan, come on. Hurry up.

Now we get you out.

- What's that for?
- This is no...

Thanks very much, I
don't want anything to eat.

Alright.

Not at a time like this, come on.
Hurry up, get me out of here.

We get you out.

What's a matter? What a you do, eh?

Come on, break a the lock. Come on, hurry.

What's a matter for you? Come on, come on.

- Come on.
- Stop fighting, stop fighting.

This no time to fight, come on,
hurry up. Get me out of here quick.

Oh, come on, hurry, hurry.

Come on, hurry up Bob.
Everybody is away. Come on.

Is that so? Well, I'll attend to that.

Boy.

It's been reported to me there's
a poker game going on in room 420.

You go up there and knock on the
door and see if you can get me a seat.

Yes sir.

Be right over.

Alright Bob, coast is clean, nobody around.

Here he is, we got him.

Yeah, we got him alright.

Hello, you out on parole?

No, these two gentlemen helped me to get out.

I'm ever so much obliged to you Mr.
Hammer, they told me was your idea.

I can't begin to thank you.

That's alright, maybe
you do as much for me sometime.

- Well, arrivedachi.
- Good bye.

- Arrivedachi.
- I can't begin to thank you.

Why, that's polygamy.

Believe me, it's no fun being in jail.

Jail is no place for a
young fella, there's no advancement.

But seriously Mr. Hammer...

you know the story of
Penelope's was all a lie, don't you?

Now, what's the use of worrying?
It's silly to worry, isn't it?

You're gone today and here tomorrow.

But you know it was a
lie, how am I going to prove it?

Well, of course...

What is it?

Silent Red wanted by the police.

What's going on here?

Was everything been dropping from in my high.

Yeah.

Grapefruit.

Well, I hope I still got my underwear on.

You know...

- Come there with that.
- I felt kind of flimsy.

- Bob.
- Yes sir.

Go upstairs and count the rooms,
I think the third floor is missing.

I'll put this stuff in here
until I get ready to go upstairs.

Wait just a moment.

Blackstone Hotel,
Chicago, Statler Hotel, Cleveland?

Those are mine, can you imagine that?

More papers than any man I've ever knew.

Granada Road, Cocoanut Road.

Granada Road, Cocoanut...

Granada...

Hey, if you get it twice more,
you're allowed to keep it.

Come here with that, will you.

You can beat that but you can't tie it.

- Granada Road...
- Don't, don't...

Don't talk, he'll take the
words right out of your mouth.

Granada...

Granada Road, Cocoanut
Road, hollow stump. Jewels.

- Tell me, where did you find this?
- That's a great guy you picked to ask.

Where did you find this?

Mr. Hammer, whoever drew this
knows something about that robbery.

Look.

♪ The skies will all be blue. ♪

♪ When my dreams come true. ♪

♪ And I'll be smiling through... ♪

♪ When my dreams come true. ♪

♪ That Spanish castle I built in my mind. ♪

♪ Will be our love
nest, the practical kind. ♪

♪ And I'll be there with you... ♪

♪ When my dreams come true. ♪

- Penelope dear, so good of you to come.
- Thanks so much Mrs. Potter.

Oh, isn't it lovely.
You're a lucky boy Harvey.

Yes.

I know the party is
going to be a great success.

I hope so.

- Hello Penelope.
- Oh hello.

- I didn't know you were going to be here.
- Anywhere that you are.

- How do you do?
- How do you do?

- Is Mr. Hammer coming?
- Mr. Hammer? Yes, he'll be here directly.

Mr. Hammer, your costume is wonderful.

This costume is been
condemned by Good Housekeeping.

- I love the color scheme.
- That isn't a scheme, it's a conspiracy.

Señor Chico Joseph Maria de Accunia...

- Count de Elsinore,
- On Track 25.

Listen Count, as soon as the guests
leave, I'd like you to take the ashes out.

His Excellency,
the ambassador from San Rafaelo...

señor de Harpeno.

Hey, nix on that stuff.

Sure and it's just a breath of old Ireland.

I can see me old mother coming down the
old path and I can see in the morning.

And I can see the old...

Diddly doo, woo, goes the weasel.

There goes the weasel now.

- I'm awfully glad you came Mr. Hennessy.
- That's all right madam.

At a party like this, you
got to have the law around.

Now, a nice woman like you needs protection.

And I'm here to see that you get it.

There's a couple of shady characters hanging
around that I'm going to keep an eye on.

- What's that you gave him?
- I no give a nothing.

You give me that to
me, give me that I tell you.

Who got my shirt? What's become of my shirt?

- I want my shirt.
- Hey, you lost your shirt?

- Yes.
- Can you describe the shirt?

- What's that?
- Come here, now look, this cross...

this cross marks the spot
where the shirt was last seen.

- Cut that out.
- Now, remain quiet, will you please?

Just as I thought.

You birds are all in on this thing and you're
all trying to keep me from finding my shirt.

That's a lie, you whelp. Whelp, whelp,
whelp, whelp, whelp. Whelp, whelp, whelp.

- I want my shirt.
- He wants his shirt.

- I want my shirt.
- He wants his shirt.

- ♪ He wants his shirt. ♪
- ♪ I want my shirt. ♪.

- ♪ He wants his shirt. ♪
- ♪ I want my shirt. ♪

- ♪ He wants his shirt, ♪
- ♪ I want my shirt, I want my shirt. ♪

♪ I can't be happy without my shirt. ♪

♪ He wants his, he wants his shirt,
he can't be happy without his shirt. ♪

- ♪ I want my shirt. ♪
- ♪ He wants his shirt. ♪

♪ He can't be happy without his shirt.
He wants his shirt, he wants his shirt. ♪

♪ He won't be happy till he has his shirt. ♪

♪ He's got it, he's got it,
he's got it, he's got it. ♪

♪ I got my shirt back, thank
god, I got my shirt, I got my shirt. ♪

♪ I got my shirt. ♪

- ♪ You never know how deeply I was hurt. ♪
- ♪ He's got it, he's got it, he's got it. ♪

- ♪ I thought I'd lost my shirt. ♪
- ♪ He's got it, he's got it he's got it. ♪

- ♪ It was given to me by my brother Bert. ♪
- ♪ His brother Bert. ♪

♪ That's why I love this shirt. ♪

- ♪ The beautiful shirt. ♪
- ♪ My shirt. ♪

♪ The wonderful shirt. ♪

♪ Now that I've found my shirt... ♪

♪ Goodbye. ♪

And now friends, now that
we've found Hennessy's shirt...

would you all mind looking for a collar
button that I lost here? Size 13 and a half.

Now ladies and gentlemen, if
you'll all find places at the table...

we'll have a short
entertainment before supper.

Eat, eat, eat, come on.

How about you and I giving this joint the
air and indulging in some snappy necking?

What?

Ladies and gentlemen Mr.Hammer
will now act as master of ceremonies.

Mr. Hammer.

- Ladies and gentlemen...
- 200 dollars.

In behalf of the
Rotary Club of Minneapolis...

I want to take this occasion
of welcoming you to Waukegan.

No, no, I mean, in recognition of my
many years of service with the railroad...

you have presented me with these ties.

And that, of course,
reminds me of the story of the Irishman.

It's so funny. I wish I could think of it.

Oft in the stilly night, the trembling of a
leaf can be heard sighing through the trees.

And the babbling brook, as it
wends its way onward babbling and...

Well, I got rid of one and one
like that is like three ordinary ones.

Where was I? Oh, yes,
on this chair, that's right.

Western cattle opened at 15 and a quarter.
Yearlings and spring veal showed a firm tone.

And eggs were a little
touchy on a falling market.

Well, my mother and father talked it
over and they finally moved to New York.

They took a little house in the
Bronx and it was in that little house...

that Abraham Lincoln was
born, much to my father's surprise.

And that boys and girls, was
the beginning of the Lincoln Highway.

And now friends, in view of the fact
that Miss Potter's engagement is being...

celebrated here tonight, so to speak,
I think a few words from her mother...

would be revolting, I now take
great pleasure in presenting to you...

the well preserved
and partially pickled Mrs. Potter.

Come on now, give the little girl a big hand.

Speech. Speech, big speech. Speech. Speech.

My good, good friends...

if I could only tell you how rosy...

hues everything seems to me tonight.

As I look into your faces,
they're all lit with gay laughter.

The whole world and everything in it...

is bathed in a soft, glowing, luminous haze.

The old gal is stewed to the eyebrows.

And now I want to wish
you all a most enjoyable evening.

As for myself, I'm sad.

- I simply can't go any farther.
- I'll get off with you.

Now friends, I want to take
great pleasure in presenting to you...

the groom Mr. Yates Mr.Harvey Yates.

Good evening radio fans,
we're now back in the studio.

Stand by for your station announcer.

My dear dear friends...

I, I...

- I really don't know what to say...
- Well, shut up.

- What a splendid suggestion.
- Good, eh?

I feel highly honored...

but I'm afraid I'm
not much of a speech maker.

Nevertheless Mr. Hammer, it was
very nice of you to call on me.

You must call on me sometime.
I was just about to...

- I was just about to...
- Yes, come up and see my flower bed.

- What I intended to say...
- I want you to see my pansies.

- Well...
- I got short pansies and long pansies.

I was just going to say that...

Next spring I'm going
to get some early bloomers.

As I was about to say...

There seems to be a steady
stream flowing in and out over there.

I wouldn't dream of
taking up any more of your time.

- I really wanted to thank you all.
- Yeah.

And as I said before, I hadn't
intended to make a speech at all.

Well, you certainly succeeded.

Now, friends...

Now what's the matter with him?

- That's that good gulf gas.
- Goodness.

I'm so sorry.

Hey, hey. What are you doing? No doing.

Come on, that's a not a good.

Mr. Hammer...

- Mr. Hammer, can't you do something?
- I don't have to, they're doing plenty.

Oh, this is awful.

Now ladies and gentlemen, the...

the first musical number
that we intend to portray...

will be the beginning
and the ending of a very...

We're going to have music,
music, we're going to have music.

Now, the first musical number on the program
will be a piccolo solo which we will skip.

And the second number will be
Señor Pastrami, the Lithuanian pianist.

The señor, for his first
selection, will play A Cup of Coffee...

A Sandwich and You from the opera Aida.

Señor, allow me to escort you to the diet.

- Oh Señor Pastrami, what's the first number?
- Number one.

And now friends, I want to
present you a charming little lady.

- Down in front.
- Hey, sit down, that's wrong of you.

The little lady who is to become
Mrs. Harvey Yates over my dead body.

I know I have the sincere
wishes of all my friends...

and can only tell you
how much I appreciate it.

I think I can honestly say this is
the happiest moment of my life.

Look what I have here.

It's a little engagement
present just given me by Mr. Yates.

He wrote it just now but he wrote
another yesterday when a necklace was stolen.

They are both in his
handwriting, let me read it to you.

It shows how to get to Cocoanut Manor
and the hollow tree stump and reads...

Hollow stump, jewels.

- I don't believe it.
- See for yourself.

- Yates is gone.
- Yates is gone?

And I gave him a check
this morning for a thousand dollars.

A good thing it was my personal check.

Mr. Hammer, there's a man outside who
wants to see you with a black mustache.

Tell him I got one.

Well, I think you will want to see
him, his name is Mr. John W. Berryman.

He has accepted my architectural plans
for the development of Cocoanut Manor.

- Well, happy days old boy.
- Thank you, thank you.

He also wants to know if you can
accommodate 400 guests for the weekend.

- 400 guests?
- 400 guests.

What in the world is the matter sir?

Now mother, you must admit you were mistaken.

- Mr. Adams, how can you ever forgive me?
- Oh please Mrs. Potter.

Ladies and gentlemen, you're all invited
to attend the wedding of my daughter.

The wedding will
take place exactly as planned.

That is, with the
exception of a slight change.

She will be married to Mr. Robert Adams.

Hooray, Hooray, Hooray, Hooray, Hooray.

♪ The skies will all be blue... ♪

♪ When my dreams come true. ♪

♪ And I'll be smiling through... ♪

♪ When my dreams come true. ♪

♪ That Spanish castle I built in my mind... ♪

♪ Will be our love
nest, the practical kind... ♪

♪ And I'll be there with you... ♪

♪ When my dreams come true. ♪