Original subtitles

come in, come in, for charaku San

please

come on in

How many rakugo comedians can you name?

probably just the 3 or 4 you've seen on TV

welcome

in Tokyo alone there are 450,

a total of 600 including Osaka

that's how many comedians there are today

but with only 4 theaters in Tokyo,

work is hard to come by

kosanmon

but there's still an endless stream of fools

who dream of entertaining with their wits and a single fan

Puzzling puzzle

maestro

Can't you rehearse me?

I'd like to perform “cat dish”

“You may say cats here and cats there, but...”

stop singing that

I was 18 when I apprenticed here with maestro kosanmon

he named me mitsuba

my stage name is konjakutei mitsuba

I'm determined to perform only the classics like,

“kuma San,” “yotaro,” “the retiree,” “the young master,”

even “glue granny.” the old favorites inspired me to choose this life

“I can't possibly forgive you

“so what you're saying is that I'm here begging

“But you won't forgive me?

“Give it a rest

“so that's how it is

“here I am down on my hands and knees but you refuse to forgive me

“how dare you, nitwit!

“how dare you call me a nitwit! I'm a samurai

“you're still a nitwit”

I trained in opening acts for 4 years

by 22, I was performing in 2nd acts, more or less a professional

ten years later, you're a headliner, less if you're talented

if you're not, younger guys beat you to it

your performance lacked some voltage,

like a light bulb, flickering out

time to change the light bulb, try some fresh routines

besides, you're so stiff

stiffer than a corpse

try out some contemporary routines

no way

you don't even look good in a kimono

A man sticking to the classics when his kimono doesn't fit...

you're a joke, a laughing-stock

ouch

what? Now you've cost me my 2 front teeth

Maestro, won't you rehearse me?

I want to do “the amateur eel”

What's the point in fattening your repertoire?

I want a real zinger of a routine

you're not inventive enough

there's no point in repeating my best routines, you idiot

All the characters in my routines...

Are my inventions

listening to your routines is like

listening to a third-rate knock-off of myself

I'm n 0 goo d?

the audience decides if you're good or a hack

nobody listens to your routines

you can talk as much as you want, but if they don't care,

Why bother?

Of course I want them to care

You just don't get it, do you?

How long will it take?

if you just want to talk, talk to the walls

talk, talk, talk

Nice to see you, how're things?

Got a long way to go

you've always had a long way to go

morning

You're my senior, I hate to ask you to carry his bags...

look how swollen your face is

stay in bed

it's not easy for adults to get over the mumps

you won't be able to have kids

Should I pack some ice down here, too?

“ice it down it shrinks, heat it up it grows”

a morning bath? Very nice

you look well - thanks

where are you headed?

“Culture”

a class about rakugo

what's that?

I'm a guest teacher

I bet you think,

comedians come out of the womb mouth first,

so talking comes easy

well, you're wrong

I know a comedian who can't speak a word off the stage

no really, I mean it

for instance, on the phone, he doesn't say a word

“Hello, is this the home of maestro kosanraku?

“This is maestro kosanraku?”

Why bother answering if he's not going to talk?

besides, there's not a soul that believes

a word that comes out of our mouths

“You're just saying that to spice up your story...”

but once in a while we do mean what we say

why don't you take me seriously?

that's not right, I'm being serious here

but some of us throw punches instead of talking

a comedian called kashiwaya chimaki, got hit by a sake carafe,

lost his 2 front teeth

The man that hit him...

is standing in the back, by the bookcase

there's no telling what he'll do if he gets pissed off, so keep your distance

at least he won't bite you

So, what am I here to teach?

Right, “contemporary storytelling?”

But “contemporary” isn't right what's contemporary about my face?

Do you mind?

A couple minutes

What didn't you like about what he said?

why leave? You've paid a lot for the class

Was it boring? What was boring?

you'd look good with whiskers

right here, 3 long ones just like a black cat

excuse me

I'm konjakutei mitsuba, a comedian

I'm apprenticed to kosanmon, that teacher

his heart isn't in it he's just moving his lips

he's ridiculing us

that's just maestro's style he'd talk like that to a king

you're free to walk out in the middle of a story, but it's rude

are you listening?

Have you ever seen rakugo?

Not on TV, but live

you should see maestro live one day he's the real deal

why don't you invite me to see you?

Would you come?

No

10am next Sunday, toyo theater in asakusa

four of us will perform

That's enough

use your wrist

toyama

thank you

hello

excuse me

all you do is wander around

I'm so busy my butt's on fire

I'd like to just relax, once a while

hello

are you starting your lesson now?

we're all finished she has a favor to ask

a favor?

Can you teach rakugo?

You want to learn rakugo?

No, my nephew

he just moved here from Osaka and he's having a hard time at school

my sister calls me every day,

saying they ridicule his Osaka accent

they shouldn't do that

I told my sister about you

she said he should learn a rakugo story and become popular

I'm not so sure a rakugo routine will make him popular

Won't you teach him?

maybe how to be witty

I can't, I'm just a second act, not a headliner

I'm in no position to teach anyone

of course not, you can't teach anyone how to talk

only a truly sensitive person can teach that

I know you're really busy

no, I'm not

don't boast about it

Once a week...

Once a month is fine

please

well, but...

“Backstage, the drums roll in anticipation...

“but sadakichi, the frog, doesn't appear

“Hey, where's sadakichi?

“1 told him how important the frog is in this scene

“hey, frog, it's your cue

“a witty customer steps up

“The frog can't show up. See hachiko's dick, sticking out of his crotch?”

My time is up

mitsuba

hey, check out the beauty in the crowd

wow, even her bones are beautiful

excuse me

“A man named jibuta jibuemon was terribly absent-minded...”

he totally blew his opening line

“how honorable to meet you

“on this honorable day, I am an honorable messenger

“I am the honorable nakada tomedayu

“hey, you're not the honorable one

“Oh, yes, not honorable...”

He's hopeless

“it's time you remembered

“hey, you devilish kid

“il remember, I remember now

“sandayu slides the door open

“so, what was his message?

“oh, I forgot to ask”

Hey

you were tense

I was so shocked you came, I totally blew it

I loved seeing you stumble

I'll do better next time

I didn't think you'd show

How can I tell stories?

To be a professional?

No

Why then?

I just...

Want to talk better

Tokawa

tokawa satsuki

you're tokawa? My real name's toyama

we're practically twins

are you angry?

No

Why do you look angry?

This is just my face

Osaka tigers

cut it out

where shall we go?

Bye

Masaru

Are all of you serious about learning rakugo?

I get the feeling vou don't really care

So, introductions. That's the practice you really want, not rakugo, right?

remember, I only know rakugo

hey, listen!

Tokawa

I'm bad... at conversation

next

that's me?

- Like rakugo? - Beats me

- want to learn? - No way

then don't

you're so mean, teacher

we show respect to comedians it's maestro, not teacher

I'm not a maestro yet, so call me mitsuba

mitsuba

at least call me “San”

San

together

“when young people get together they can't stop talking,

“providing plenty of material for comic storytelling

“don't just stand there gawking, come forward, come forward

“don't hold back, come forward, but too far forward will land you out back

“yeah, find a good spot

“Of course you can tell me, spit it out what are you scared of?

“No, you'll laugh

“No, I won't, what scares you?

“Sweet buns

“sweet buns

“scared of sweet buns? That's a new one

“I'm so scared of this sweet bun

“even the crust is so old it's scary

“hey, move over

“hey! He ate them all up he gobbled up all those

“sweet buns he said he was scared of

“Why did you eat all those scary sweet buns? What are you really scared of?

“about now, I'm scared of a cup of tea”

Oh, I'm sorry

that's ok, it's the punch line

I'd like you to learn that routine what do you say?

you sound like an idiot I can't believe you do that

now it's your turn

no way I can't say all those Tokyo words

how do you learn it?

By listening

Isn't there a script?

Can't manage without it?

You?

My feet fell asleep

That's it for today

You don't have to come back

Do comedians always wear kimonos?

I do, most don't

You're strange why do you like rakugo?

my grandpa used to love rakugo

Is that lady your mom or your grandma?

My grandmother, of course

your mom?

died of pneumonia when I was a baby dad died of cancer a year later

what a shock

why are you being bullied at school?

It's not bullying, it's fighting

I'm asking why is it a secret?

no, you're too old it's between us kids

I see, I like that attitude

it's pouring

see you next week

I'd never heard your rakugo before

you look more comfortable in your kimono, now

You think? Really?

Masaru's more sensitive than he seems

will you help him?

Yes

no way, this Osaka accent is all fake

if you don't like it, fix it

you're cutting corners

you know how many hours it took me to write that down? Plenty

rakugo is all about memorization read the first part

no, not in this fake Osaka accent

ok, tokawa

“When young people get together they can't stop talking...”

Put some spirit into it

it's not a phone book

“when young people get together they can't stop talking,

“providing plenty of material for comic storytelling

“don't just stand there gawking, come forward, come forward

“don't hold back, come forward, but too far forward will land you out back

“yeah, find a good spot”

That rolled right off your tongue did you already know it?

How did you memorize it so fast?

I won't remember it long

a photographic memory

give me a break

I'm praising you keep going

Watch out, watch out!

He's diving in, diving!

Murabayashi!

Hello

What the heck do you want!

how can you wear that? Even a clown wouldn't

It's for a job as an m.C.

you're paying your dues, I understand

the hell you do

You have the whole set of “slam dunk” “if you give up, game's over!”

Keep watching this

suit yourself

Who's he?

your new student

I'm Yamada

says he wants to observe

I heard you're training people

to improve their speech

What kind of rumors have you been spreading?

Can you take that off?

I have terrible allergies

we're inside now

you look like a mugger makes me nervous

“he said he's scared of sweet buns let's go buy lots of them,

“and go to his house, open the door, toss them in

“he's got no back door. Lock the front and there's no way out

“The sweet buns will chase him around...”

What's this, what's this? Is this “I'm scared of sweet buns?”

He's maestro shijaku

it's the Osaka version

can I borrow it? It's great

your student?

this class is for babies

hey, you're yugawara

he's Yamada San

I'm Yamada

don't you watch baseball? The pinch hitter, yugawara

filling in for ito, the pitcher,

is pinch hitter, yugawara

I think I'll quit rakugo

really?

Still a second act at age 40...

Go, yugawara!

yugawara's batting average isn't great this season,

But he's giving left-handed pitchers a tough time...

I knew I'd seen you before

- who is he? - The baseball player

former baseball player

he's the former yugawara!

Not former! I'm still yugawaral!

you haven't been doing baseball commentary recently

commentary? So, you talk for a living

he's really lousy never says a word

the announcer next to him looks desperate, talking for the both of them

you get fired?

Repeat that, fucking brat!

Don't raise the dust

if you're not serious, go home

you're in the way

all right

all right

Not sexy

your face chases men away

He said it...

You're good enough to take disciples?

They're not disciples

what are they?

if you've got the time to teach people,

rehearse your own routines

What are you thinking?

“A horror coffee shop?

“Summer special: A sweet ghost will serve you?

“sounds good let's check it out

“hey, there's nobody here oh, well, I'll sit here

“Here's the menu...

“excuse me, I'd like a cup of coffee

“welcome home, master

“My god, what a shock!

“don't sneak up on me like that

“you hardly look the part in that waitress uniform”

I hear you're teaching rakugo to a pretty girl

also to a brat and a middle-aged guy

your maestro will chew you out, frittering your time away like that

Does your maestro chew you out?

every time I see him

but that's water off a duck's back

he says I don't have a clue

quit teaching rakugo

once you start something, you can't just quit

“he's got no back door. Lock the front and there's no way out

“The sweet buns will chase him around...”

that's not rakugo make the audience laugh, not yourself

“Oh, no, scramble...”

You do it then!

that's right take another stitch

Ouch

you're so clumsy

I'm home

What's this?

sewing a summer kimono she can't do it alone

why a summer kimono?

she's going to wear it, to the lantern plant festival

with a guy?

No

if it's with a girlfriend, invite me I'll treat you to sweets

I haven't decided, who with...

Go with me

I happen to have a job nearby

it's perfect, then

buy her a lantern plant

sure, I will

See you later

What's the rush? Keeping a girl waiting?

Wow

what?

on you, you can't see the bad stitching

you wear it well

No luck

no luck

the future looks grim

give it another try?

thank you for joining our lantern plant festival today

pick one out

no thanks

why not?

Have to carry it home

I'll carry it for you

welcome, mister this one's nice

here you are

I don't want it

Why bother getting all dressed up?

Don't fight, now

I'm not fighting

tokawa

ouch! Don't!

Don't you want the plant?

I don't

I'm hungry

let's get some soba noodles

Here you are

I've been here before

when?

Last year

“next year, dress for the festival”

who said that?

you dummy, you should've invited him

he ditched me long ago

he was a jerk

he never said anything nice

saying mean things, to push people away

he sounds like you

It didn't matter who

I didn't want to come alone, but I wanted to come

eat your noodles

don't sit there remembering

go ahead, eat up

eat mine, then

who cares about noodles?

You've never been in love, have you?

I like someone

my grandmother's disciple, a little older than you

tell me how to ask her out

but I enjoyed the festival with you I like having it both ways

tokawa dry cleaning

Welcome

he took the walk on that one

Did he take the walk or was he afraid to swing, yugawara San?

Let's see, well, in this case, the batter...

Probably feels like...

When he steps up to the plate, he's not quite sure...

So, the pitcher ishii throws the first ball to Nakamura...

Yugawara San, was that...

In this case, the coach, probably gave a...

this commentator's irritating

Say

What is this? Did someone forget it?

oh, a lantern plant

great luck

There's no ice

we used it all to chill noodles for lunch

maybe I'll go buy something cold

you're the one who said students aren't guests, so don't bother with them

so nervous

who is?

Hello

Hey

I can't believe you made it here in this heat

no air conditioning here

the fan's plenty

that's why you're shriveling up

what did you say?

Shut up, kid!

Leave him be

“what scares you?

“Sweet buns

“sweet buns”

Hey, what's up?

The “symphony” lady had an accident, right?

you should rat her out she was driving drunk

she can hardly drive sober doesn't deserve a license

yugawara San

I'll call you back later

Are you serious about this?

that's why every team you joined threw you out

The yakult, the daiei, the tigers...

You a tigers fan?

not just because I lived in Osaka it's not that simple

it was ridiculous, the crowds don't shut up, the management's stupid

Why don't you say that in your commentary?

Comment on it

say stuff like, “ridiculous,” “don't shut up” and “stupid”

sound authoritative

You won that round

You're studying

Ikuko San aren't you on summer vacation?

I have to submit a paper soon for our research group

which writer, this time?

Tsuruya nanboku you know all about kabuki, right?

they're performing yotsuya kaidan now

you should see it those spooky ghost tales

shall we go together?

please, I swear I'll pay you back

I won't loan it relatives never pay loans back

balance

Please

wow, gee, thanks

How is it?

Delicious

I'm a bad cook

You're a good cook, right?

At home, I'm the housekeeper

I've got to learn to cook better I'm getting married next year

Does this taste strange?

What do you mean, getting married?

I should've learned how to cook at home I'm marrying my professor

oh, what a relief

I was wondering how to tell you

I have a work conflict with the kabuki

I couldn't figure out how to tell you

oh, thanks

let me...

no, no, it's my gift I do make some money

may 1?

Gee, thanks

“regarding my background, my father was born in Kyoto,

“his family name was Ando, his first name, keizo, nicknamed goko

“when my mother was 33,

“one night she dreamed of a crane and conceived me

“when I departed her womb, she cried tsurujo,

“But that was my infant name later I was dubbed chiyojo...”

sweet buns, sweet buns are scary

lunch boxes are scary, too

lunch boxes are scary

What's up, mitsuba?

You're not on tonight

go in that way, or they'll charge you

Have you been to the new Sushi shop in shinonome?

their Sushi rolls are delicious

so I hear

it's hard to find a good Sushi roll these days

good evening, I'm sitting in the audience tonight to observe

what is it? You look pale

excuse me

something wrong?

No idea

kosanmon

thank you for attending tonight

some of you may believe that

the edo of old is just like modern Tokyo,

but that's not true

edo was much smaller

you know, mukojima, over island? It wasn't part of edo

like its name, over island, it was “over there”

there weren't any department stores or supermarkets in edo

you couldn't buy lots of different things in one place

you bought a kimono in a kimono store, used clothing in a used clothing store

there were clog shops, rice cake shops and so on

and secondhand stores did a brisk business,

selling second hand furniture

any man who owned a secondhand store wasn't very bright

most didn't care whether their goods sold or not

inevitably, their wives took charge

“say, dear, you're the worst salesman in the world

“why?

“why? I was just listening in the back

“A customer admired that dresser and what did you say?

“L know it's nice, it's been here for 8 years

“I know it's nice, it's been here for 8 years

“that's like admitting you couldn't sell that dresser for 8 long years

“honesty is the best policy

“there's a limit to honesty

“you can't sell what's for sale, but you sell off what's not

“what do you mean?

“the futon shop owner came in and said,

“jinbei San, that's a nice charcoal brazier, and you said,

“oh, you think? Go ahead and take it, and sold it to him

“yeah

“we used that brazier to heat the place

“we haven't had any heat since

“it's gotten cold recently so you went to the futon shop to warm up

“that's right, the futon shop owner said,

“I bought a brazier with jinbei San thrown into the deal

“say there

“those two are constantly fighting it's not a pretty sight

“that's a really dirty drum

“that's not for you to say

“it's your job to dust things off around here

“yes sir

“I know, I'll use the vibration to dust it off

“boom...

“Boom, boom, boom,

“you see, boom, boom, boom, it works

“stop that noise

“ll didn't buy that for you to play with, just dust it off

“yes, sir, I'll keep it soft

“Thump, thump, thump...

“Why do you always get carried away?”

Later

What are you doing?

I love your rakugo

I just can't help it

you inspired me to become a comedian

I may never deserve to inherit your name, but I'll keep at it

What are you mumbling about?

What?

Idiot! Why'd you eat a rotten lunch?

it was our first and last lunch

what are you talking about?

anyway, feel better. My annual performance is coming up

you can do 30 minutes any routine you want

anything I want?

Yeah, what'll you do?

the one you just performed

You mean, “the flaming drum?” have I taught you that one?

Will you teach me?

Be well

I know, you should've eaten that lunch

you've had the mumps, you're immune

“Say dear...

“Say dear...

“Say dear! Why are you such a lousy salesman?

“Why?

“Don't why me... Why'd you let that customer...

“Why?

“Don't why me, why'd you let that customer get away?”

your maestro's annual performance will be packed with his fans

Why perform his favorite routine there?

I just worked up the nerve nerve can be scary

I wish he would teach me “the flaming drum”

I'm older, he should teach me first

you pulled a fast one

“How did you sell that filthy drum for 300 ryo?

“you don't know either? I don't really understand,

“but apparently the master has excellent taste

“apparently, it's a flaming drum, the only one of its kind

“don't just stand there gawking, come forward, come forward

“don't hold back, come forward, come forward

“but too far forward will land you out back”

“Spit it out what are you scared of?

“You'll laugh

“No, I won't, what scares you?

“Sweet buns

“sweet buns”

I'm better than him

“the rice shop owner came over and eyeing

“the brazier we use in back...”

Oh, what is it?

I'm sorry but he's busy

is it for me?

listen, I memorized the whole thing

I just kept talking and I made it all the way to the end. Amazing!

Calm down, what was that?

I memorized “sweet buns”

wow, that's a long routine

maybe I'm gifted

I can't wait to tell it to mister yugawara

yugawara San? Not me?

I want to prove to him I'm serious

Yugawara San

I phoned and your wife gave me this address

my wife's brother owns it

next week, we're getting together again

murabayashi memorized a whole routine

he wants to perform for you

that brat?

Stop talking

he says he'll show you

are you busy?

Have you been on TV?

he's so damned lousy

it's embarrassing listening to him

Can this batter hit this pitch?

! Think his coach has signaled for a fastball

Can he really pull off another fastball, sato San?

He can't hit it

- you can tell? - I can

how come?

His eyes

his eyes, he says...

talk about the slider or his grip on the bat or something

look at the pitcher, he's ready to kill

the batter's freaked out

what'll the pitcher throw?

He'll go for it

low and out ball

he chickened out

that was a strike that umpire never calls low balls

I lost out on a lot of his missed calls

the 6th pitch on a full count

hey, it's a high ball... Caught at 2nd, that's 3 outs

idiot, he could've walked to first if he'd just stood there

“idiot this and that” all you have is nerve

it's just like you you think every player's an idiot

Do you announce games that way?

Why should I badmouth players on TV?

I refuse to do that I don't even want to

players may hate you, but if the fans love you, they'll call it style

What about you, comedian?

What'd you come here for?

please come hear murabayashi's routine

clear my plate

that's all I'll drink up and go

I'm sorry

oh, I'm sorry

I'm sorry, are you ok?

“what are you talking about? You let that customer get away

“he took one look at that dresser and fell in love

“He came in all smiles...”

“he came in all smiles and headed straight for you

“But what did you say when he admired that dresser?”

Listen, listen, listen!

What's up?

You're going to perform “sweet buns?”

I can't! I'm so upset I forgot the whole thing

I'm only here because you asked me

forget about that! Miyata's a giants fan, and a real jerk

he wants to make us all giants fans

who's miyata?

It's miyata! Miyata

our class has a boss

he's miyata?

he says he's a giants fan but doesn't care and never goes to games

he hasn't stopped eating ice cream like me, to pray for my team

but shaved ice is ok?

baseball lovers are such fools

all fans are fools especially tigers fans

say that on the air, once

miyata wants to get at me with baseball

we have a baseball game soon mivyata's the pitcher

he swore he'd prove I'm as weak as the tigers are

So I've gotta say, “no way” right?

Can miyata pitch?

unbelievable reflexes

fast balls?

Under 100 kms

keep your eye on the ball, you can hit it

you're a pro I'm an amateur

You think I don't know how hard it is to hit a ball?

Why don't you teach him?

pinch hitter, yugawara

no way I can do that

yes, you can

I've got total confidence in my batting skills

and I'm teaching you swing

Hold up

here, like this

if I win, I'll shut that miyata up for good

that's the deal, right?

Then, I can stay a tigers fan?

Hey, shut up

swing again

relax your shoulders, and keep your back straight

your hips lead with your hips,

and your arms will follow naturally

always keep your eye on the ball

right, hips!

see, you took your eye off the ball

keep your eye on the ball tuck your chin in

swing your hips, rotate them you know

you said you didn't know a thing about baseball

all I know is ichiro and matsui

thank you so much, yugawara San thank you

I'll make you look good

don't get carried away

Don't run away you love the tigers, right?

if you run from what you love, you'll always regret it

You memorized all of “sweet buns,” right?

I memorized the Tokyo version, too

really! Let's put on a show

You'll come, right, yugawara San?

keep your sights on miyata

I'll totally whip his ass

don't get so carried away

“hey, sada, don't just stand there. I buy all this merchandise

“don't stand there, start dusting! Take this outside and dust it

“don't, dust that drum off and it'll disappear

“you, shut up

“hurry, take it outside and dust it off

“yes sir

“those two are fighting again they're always at it

“oh, this is awfully dusty”

hey

you got it wrong

let's see

“oh, thanks

“How did you sell that filthy drum for 300 ryo?

“it made a noise from now on, only noisy stuff

“that's right, noisy stuff I'll get a fire alarm and sound that

“not a fire alarm, you'll scare the customers”

you're really hopeless

thank you

Can I take a break from our class?

Are you busy?

I've got a performance

what performance?

a performance by our maestro and his 3 disciples

come, as a plant in the audience

what about ours?

Our performance, when?

You really want one?

Listen, why do you come to my rakugo class?

Did you think I'd quit right away?

Yeah, well

Why do you teach? Do you really want to teach?

Why do you think we all show up?

we're not just killing time we all really want to change

because things as they are, just aren't good enough

can't you understand that?

No, I know

keep practicing we'll have that performance

“but sir, there's no other way to get the dust off

“Dum de dum dum, dum dum...

“Excuse me...”

“Dum de dum dum, dum dum...

“Excuse me

“hello, welcome”

I'm Masaru's mother

Is my son with you?

No, he's not

Where could he be?

he doesn't have cram school today and should be home by 5pm

you don't think he was kidnapped or in an accident

he wouldn't let that happen

How did the baseball turn out?

Baseball?

Didn't he tell you about the game?

Masaru's missing

miyata beat him he totally struck out

Any luck?

he stopped by our place

he left this

dear yugawara San

even though you coached me, I was no good, / struck out

I'm sorry I was such a bad student, but thank you

murabayashi Masaru

Something's not right

did you search the house?

he always walks in without asking

You found me

what are you doing?

I was sleeping before that, reading manga

before that, I heard this weird rakugo

It went “dum de dum dum, dum dum...”

Ouch

You fool!

It was good you hit him

no it wasn't, he's a child

better than consoling him. He's a proud kid, he's crying 'cause he means it

let's end the class

end it and get it over with

you think?

I don't want to get it over with

What good will learning rakugo do?

Yeah, our teacher's a loser

I'm just not cut out for this

Why'd you start in the first place?

You're such an idiot

Who's the idiot learning from an idiot?

Learning rakugo won't change your personality. What do you want?

To be liked? To be considered a nice person?

I don't care if anyone likes me

you don't want anyone to like you your attitude says you don't

it's the same with cats, we pet them because they purr

who asked me to purr?

that's why you get dumped don't badmouth your ex-boyfriend

you asked me

I did not, don't tell me

you'll never change you're a jerk, a stray

What about you?

You've had your say but what about you?

Whatever you say, nobody hates you

I wanted to be like that

Even though I can't

hey, tokawa

Tatsuya

What are you doing? Don't you have to get up?

Yeah, what time is it?

Noon, already

Hey there

sorry, I overslept!

welcome, please come in

Hey, is mitsuba ok?

Another rotten lunch?

if he makes it through the routine you get 10,000 yen

I'm betting he won't

I bet he won't, either

then there's no bet

we're grateful you've come to see us

this is our annual performance,

But how many years has it been?

Hey, how many years has it been?

your face looks like a fava bean

oh, right, the last time, you weren't my disciple yet

the kosanmon line is no big deal

and just because it's annual doesn't mean we do it every year

“he's a cheap drunk anyway

“I better watch out not to spill

“Not yet, not yet...

“Oh, no, no!

“what a waste of sake

“no good getting the floor drunk”

hey, mitsuba

excuse me

A little something for your stomach?

in that case,

a little of this?

Go ahead, drink up

you've already made a fool of yourself

thank you very much for your applause

I live with my grandmother who never throws a thing away

disposable chopsticks, packets of soy sauce, she saves everything

I told her, “they're worthless, toss them”

she says, “there's virtue in saving them”

some people love collecting trash and junk

poking around second-hand shops, looking for bargains

“say dear...

“Say dear! Why are you such a lousy salesman?

“Why?

“Don't why me... Why'd you let that customer get away?

“1 didn't let him get away, he just went away

“you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him buy it

“what are you talking about? You let that customer get away

“he took one look at that dresser and fell in love

“he came in all smiles and made a beeline for that dresser

“But what did you say when he admired that dresser?

“L know it's nice, it's been here 16 years

“I know it's nice, it's been here 16 years

“it's like telling him we couldn't sell that dresser for 16 years

“you can't sell what's for sale but you sell off what's not

“you know what I mean

“last year, the rice shop owner came over

“eyeing the brazier we use in back he said, what a nice brazier

“you said, if you like it, it's yours, and sold it

“we haven't had any heat since

“it's gotten so cold recently you go to the rice shop to warm up

“that's right, the rice shop owner said,

“I bought a brazier with jinbei San thrown into the deal

“don't, dust that drum off and it'll disappear

“you, shut up. Don't just stand there take this outside and dust it

“yes, sir

“those two are fighting again they're always at it, I get sick of it

“oh, this is awfully dusty

“I can't see through all the dust

“mister, this drum is awful dirty

“don't you chime in

“you're cleaning it because it's dirty hurry up and dust it off

“yes, sir

“he got mad at me

“dum de dum dum

“hey, I like the sound of this drum

“dum dum dum,

“Dum de dum dum, dum dum...

“I didn't buy that to be your toy,

“just dust it

“I'm willing to purchase that drum for 300. Will you let it go for 300?

“Well, yes, the thing is...

“Wait, did you say something?

“what's the matter? I'm saying 300 ryo

“300 ryo, I see 300 ryo, meaning...

“What 300 ryo do you mean?

“Don't you get it? To spell it out, how about 300 ryo in coins?

“Oh, coins, you mean, coins shaped like this, that you buy things with?

“What other coins are there? What do you say?

“What do I say? 300 ryo! 300 ryo, 300 ryo...

“300 ryo, I'll take it

“don't stick your hand out give me a receipt

“I don't need a receipt

“no, I need it

“How did you sell that filthy drum for 300 ryo?

“you don't know either? I don't really understand,

“but apparently the master has excellent taste

“Apparently, it's a flaming drum, the only one of its kind. Where'd you find it?

“Oh, so we made a profit?

“really? Ok, show me, then

“Hey, show me you must be lying, aren't you?

“if it's true, show me hurry

“hurry, you idiot!

“hey, don't call me idiot! Fine, I'll line the 300 ryo up

“don't pee your pants in astonishment

“don't worry

“all right, don't be shocked look, here's 50 ryo

“So, it's true, dear?

“yeah, it's true look, here's 100 ryo

“oh my, 100 ryo

“I can't take it

“you don't have to take it, look, here's 150 ryo

“Oh my, 150 ryo, I'm feeling faint...

“One hundred-fifty ryo...

“watch out, hold on to the pillar behind you

“the pillar behind me?

“Like this?

“that's good, look here's 200 ryo

“my, you're such a good salesman

“what are you talking about? Look, here's 250 ryo

“I always say, antiques are best

“what are you talking about? Don't be shocked, here's 300 ryo

“my...

“Dear, I need a glass of water

“I drank some, too

“hey, sada, get her some water

“are you ok?

“Oh, thank you

“Dear, how did you sell that filthy drum for 300 ryo?

“it made a noise from now on, only noisy stuff

“that's right, noisy stuff I'll get a fire alarm and sound that

“not a fire alarm, you'll scare the customers”

Hey, you

turns out you perform better drunk

what?

you figured out “the flaming drum” for yourself

shouldn't have made that bet I lost 10,000 yen

“fire a rusty pistol enough, you're bound to hit something

“Hit or miss is up to the wind...”

You were great, mitsuba

oh, thank you thank you

“didn't you know? When they whisper like that,

“Maybe they're badmouthing me ants are scary...

“Silly”

Hey, murabayashi

you look suspicious they'll report you

you're not mad?

about what? Oh, this? I hit myself on the swings

I was on the swings after I struck out with miyata

I jumped off to go home and the swing hit me in the head

that's what I told mom

you shouldn't lie

if I told her the truth, she'd kill me on the spot

it was my fault I was immature

Can I come to rakugo class again?

Of course. The show, right?

the show... that's right, it was my idea

why not perform for a crowd invite your friends, even miyata

you don't know him miyata's really tough

in sports and in class, he always beats me

let's make miyata laugh

it's great to make people laugh the best way to pay back your enemy

I really love to talk

Doing rakugo, I get so happy...

Is “pay back” a fight?

no, it's a contest

Miyata

Would you come to this?

what's this, “scared of sweet buns?'

what is it?

You're gonna do it?

No way you can do it

scared of sweet buns east-west face off

Thank you

satsuki

this way

I'm sure he'll lose

yeah

I bet he'll screw it up

thank you so much

oh, no, I look ridiculous

I used to wear it, it's not so bad

but...

You like the routine?

I do

the whole routine?

I do

then go make 'em laugh with your whole spirit

show them what a great story you can tell

Is tokawa really coming?

of course, she's performing with you

are you two fighting?

Why?

your grandma asked me if you two had a fight

we didn't have a fight we just said what we felt

bet you made her mad

that's why you're such a bad adult

when you get pissed off, count to 8 and calm down

counting to 3 calms you down?

I can't calm down! Oh, no!

Ok, break a leg

oh, no

hey

it's big, way too big

too bad

it's y ours?

scared of sweet buns east-west face off

moukotel Masaru

hello, everyone I'll do my best to entertain you

when I practice at home, I get so into it, it's so funny,

I can hardly stand it!

when I perform for an audience,

I often realize I'm not as funny as I think

“What do you hate most?

“what do you hate most, tell me

“centipedes

“centipedes?

“I'm scared of centipedes it's got too many legs

“of course it does

“I wonder what'll happen if it puts shoes on all of 'em

“Over-active imagination how about you?

“Spiders

“spiders?

“Scared of spiders?

“Why? Spiders are scary

“it comes sliding down from the ceiling,

“Plops down on the floor, starts to head that way then scrambles over...

“Spiders are creepy and you?

“Ants

“ants

“ants, meaning ants

“ants

“of ants?

“L am. You don't know how terrifying they are

“I am. You don't know how terrifying they are

“what's so scary?

“didn't you know? When they whisper like that,

“Maybe they're badmouthing me ants are scary...

“Who'd believe ants are scary?

“he just said he's scared of sweet buns, so we'll go buy some,

“and go to his house, open the door, toss them in

“he's got no backdoor. Lock the front and there's no way out

“The sweet buns will chase him around...

“Watch him as they chase him around and around his house, no?”

Fool

“I just love watching people suffer

“what about you?

“everybody go buy sweet buns

“they fell for it

“those morons

“buns from takasagoya

“Buns from tachibanaya

“it's nice to eat you again

“you've shrunk since I last saw you

“hey, wait, wait up he's muttering, chattering in there

“sounds like he's eating something, too

“He's alone, who's he got to talk to in there?

“but he's muttering, chattering in there”

miyata laughed! He's laughing

Miyata

I didn't think you'd come I was so happy

you're so un-cool

Isn't that why you laughed?

That was funny

really great

you laughed, miyata

thanks so much for coming

what happens next?

Right, I hadn't finished

Did you call tokawa?

No

Call her

she'll come

Where's tokawa?

No...

She's not here? What'll we do?

Well...

“...gobbling all those scary sweet buns what are you really scared of?

“about now, I'm scared of a cup of tea”

You're late

I wound up cleaning the whole street

go on in

Go on, hurry what are you doing?

It doesn't feel right

why not?

Since our fight, I haven't...

so, you're still fighting that's your position

I don't know what my grandson said...

the truth, that's why I got so mad

“once, a Japanese, a German,

“a Russian, an American and a frenchman

“all wound up on the same boat

“Which country's...” what was it?

“Food tastes...

“Worst, is what... they...”

Tokawa baby!

You came

shouldn't I have?

You wanted me to

at least say “welcome”

Go

tokawate/ satsuk/

I'm not doing “scared of sweet buns”

why not?

I'm telling another story

it's my...

Favorite story

“Say dear! Why are you such a lousy salesman?

“Why?

“Don't why me... Why'd you let that customer get away?

“1 didn't let him get away, he just went away

“you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him buy it”

what's it called?

“The flaming drum”

“he came in all smiles and made a beeline for that dresser

“But what did you say when he admired that dresser?

“L know it's nice, it's been here 16 years

“I know it's nice, it's been here 16 years

“it's like telling him we couldn't sell that dresser for 16 years

“you're hopeless

“you can't sell what's for sale but you sell off what's not

“the rice shop owner came over

“and eyeing the brazier we use in back he said, what a nice brazier

“you said, if you like it, it's yours, and sold it

“we haven't had any heat since

“it's gotten so cold recently you go to the rice shop to warm up

“that's right, the rice shop owner said,

“I bought a brazier with jinbei San thrown into the deal

“oh, this is awfully dusty

“I can't see through all the dust

“mister, this drum is awful dirty

“don't you chime in

“you're cleaning it because it's dirty hurry up and dust it off

“yes, sir

“he got mad at me

“dum de dum dum

“hey, I like the sound of this drum

“Dum dum dum, dum de dum dum, dum dum...

“I didn't buy that to be your toy,

“just dust it off”

Come again

you two are neighbors and we need to eat at yugawara's place

I wasn't going to tell you, but I will

I'm going to coach next year the minors, though

that's perfect

the minors?

No, coaching

when will you hit the big time?

Someday

I'll reserve a place as a disciple

when you grow up, you'll realize your mistake

I had fun

me, too

see you

Say...

this class made me love rakugo

I always loved it, but now I love it more

it made me want to improve

you've each got a hard road hang in there

you, too, teacher

I'm going out

“you're hopeless

“you can't sell what's for sale but you sell off what's not

“What do you mean, what?

“last year, the rice shop owner came over

“and eyeing the brazier we use in back he said, what a nice brazier”

What's up?

I have something to say

if I don't, I'll regret it the rest of my life

I never thanked you for the lantern plant

It made me happy

really happy

Why'd you give me a lantern plant?

If you don't want it, give it back

I was really mad

you totally ignored my gift

if I didn't care, I wouldn't get so mad

Your...

“The flaming drum”

was 30 points

what happened to “scared of sweet buns?'

I wonder

Come live with me?

And granny, too?

mitsuba / taichi kokubun

satsuki / Karina

yugawara / yutaka matsushige

murabayashi / yuuki morinaga

granny / kaoru yachigusa

kosanmon / shiro ito

executive producers: Masao teshima, Julie k. Fujishima, seiji okuda, kazumasa tajima

producers: Atsushi watanabe, shinji ogawa

Based on the story by takako sato “shaberedomo shaberedomo” published by shinchosha co.

written by satoko okudera

director of photography: Junichi fujisawa “dsc”

lighting director: Nariyuki ueda

production designer: Shin nakayama

sound recordist: Masato komatsu

editor: Chieko suzaki

music: Goro yasukawa

Production: Asmik Ace entertainment, inc. Bowsprit, inc.

Produced by asmik Ace entertainment, inc. J storm inc. Nippon television network corporation shinchosha co.

directed by hideyuki hirayama

english subtitles: Linda hoaglund

©2007 “talk, talk, talk” film partners