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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,800 --> 00:00:05,400 SOUTH PARK 912 http://south-park.cz/ 2 00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:11,900 Jedu do South Parku, chci si trochu orazit. 3 00:00:12,250 --> 00:00:15,500 V�ude sam� ��astn� tv��. Skromn� lidi neznaj z᚝. 4 00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:18,600 Jedu do South Parku, starosti nech�m za sebou. 5 00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:22,300 Zaparkovat v�dy se d�. V�ichni zdrav�j zvesela. 6 00:00:22,400 --> 00:00:25,500 Jedu do South Parku, trochu si tam povyraz�m. 7 00:00:28,850 --> 00:00:32,700 Poje� se mnou do South Parku za prima p��teli. 8 00:00:36,750 --> 00:00:41,050 - Ty vole, m�m Jaka Plummera. - J� m�m zas blb�ho AJ Feeleyho. 9 00:00:41,150 --> 00:00:45,250 - Pro� sis nekoupil karti�ky, Stane? - Nem��u utr�cet, �et��m si na kolo. 10 00:00:45,250 --> 00:00:47,250 Ha, �et�it pen�ze! 11 00:00:47,550 --> 00:00:50,850 Co ud�l�me te�? Je sobota a mus�me si maxim�ln� u��t. 12 00:00:50,850 --> 00:00:53,450 Jdem do Funplexu zast��let si laserem. 13 00:00:53,950 --> 00:00:57,150 J� nechci utr�cet. Poj�te d�lat n�co, co je zadarmo. 14 00:00:57,650 --> 00:01:01,850 Nezn� prvn� fyzik�ln� z�kon? Ka�d� sranda stoj� nejm�� 8 dolar�. 15 00:01:01,850 --> 00:01:04,750 - ��dn� sranda nen� zadarmo. - J� nem��u utr�cet. 16 00:01:04,751 --> 00:01:08,450 - Tak bu� �id, my jdem st��let laserem. - M�j se. 17 00:01:11,350 --> 00:01:15,450 Ahoj, nechce� si zkusit test osobnosti? Je z�bavn� a zadarmo. 18 00:01:16,150 --> 00:01:19,050 - Pros�m? - D�l�me zdarma test osobnosti. 19 00:01:19,150 --> 00:01:20,550 A co m�m ud�lat? 20 00:01:20,551 --> 00:01:24,650 Sly�el jsi o scientologii? Je zalo�ena na knize Dianetika. 21 00:01:24,651 --> 00:01:29,350 Mezi scientology pat�� osobnosti jako Tom Cruise a John Travolta. 22 00:01:29,351 --> 00:01:32,950 Poj� dovnit� a za�neme s testem. 23 00:01:34,050 --> 00:01:37,550 Najdeme pr�zdnou m�stnost, plno lid� si dnes d�l� testy. 24 00:01:37,650 --> 00:01:39,950 - Ahoj, Briane. - Ahoj, Kelly. Jak to jde? 25 00:01:39,951 --> 00:01:43,850 - Skv�le, tohle je Stan. - Ahoj, jak se m�? 26 00:01:43,851 --> 00:01:48,750 - Dob�e. - Brian s tebou ud�l� test a obezn�m� t� se scientologi�. 27 00:01:48,751 --> 00:01:50,550 Bude to z�bava. 28 00:01:50,550 --> 00:01:54,350 Tohle je n�bo�enstv�? Proto�e moje rodina jsou katol�ci. 29 00:01:54,351 --> 00:01:59,650 To nevad�, scientologie je sp� psychologie ne� n�bo�enstv�. 30 00:01:59,651 --> 00:02:02,250 Tak pro� tam m�te naps�no scientologick� c�rkev? 31 00:02:02,251 --> 00:02:05,750 Jak hrajou Mustangov�, 6:2? 32 00:02:06,050 --> 00:02:10,550 - 7:2. - Par�da! Poj� dovnit�, bude to sranda. 33 00:02:10,750 --> 00:02:12,950 "PROB�H� TEST" 34 00:02:13,050 --> 00:02:17,850 Polo��m ti p�r ot�zek a odpov�dej na n� co nejpravdiv�ji. 35 00:02:17,950 --> 00:02:23,650 Za prv�. �ekl jsi n�kdy n�co, �eho jsi pozd�ji litoval? 36 00:02:24,950 --> 00:02:26,750 Jasn�. 37 00:02:27,550 --> 00:02:31,550 D�val bys rad�ji rozkazy, ne� je s�m dost�val? 38 00:02:31,650 --> 00:02:32,750 Jo. 39 00:02:33,250 --> 00:02:37,050 P�skal sis n�kdy jen tak pro z�bavu? 40 00:02:41,250 --> 00:02:46,750 A posledn�, p�ijde ti n�kdy �ivot nejasn� a matouc�? 41 00:02:46,950 --> 00:02:48,150 Ano. 42 00:02:48,250 --> 00:02:52,150 To je v�echno, Stane. Konec testu osobnosti. 43 00:02:52,250 --> 00:02:53,350 Jak jsem si vedl? 44 00:02:53,450 --> 00:02:58,450 Nerad to ��k�m, ale jsi p�kn� zmaten� d�t�. 45 00:02:59,250 --> 00:03:03,750 Ob�v�m se, �e jsi naprosto ne��astn� a deprimovan�. 46 00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:05,750 Fakt? To jsem nev�d�l! 47 00:03:05,751 --> 00:03:09,550 Jsi bezpochyby skv�l� kandid�t na scientologii. 48 00:03:09,650 --> 00:03:13,050 - To by t� mohlo rozveselit. - Co m�m d�lat? 49 00:03:13,051 --> 00:03:17,150 Je to jednoduch�. Pot�ebujem jenom 240 dolar�. 50 00:03:19,250 --> 00:03:22,650 Stanley, v�bec nic jsi nesn�dl. Co je s tebou? 51 00:03:22,850 --> 00:03:25,850 - Jsem naprosto deprimovan�. - Pro�? 52 00:03:25,851 --> 00:03:28,550 - Nev�m. - Jak dlouho se tak c�t�? 53 00:03:28,550 --> 00:03:31,750 Nejsem si jistej, ale pot�ebuju 240 dolar�. 54 00:03:31,751 --> 00:03:34,350 240 dolar�? N�co jsi rozbil? 55 00:03:34,351 --> 00:03:39,150 - Na�el jsem program, kter� m� m��e vyl��it. - Odpov�� je ne. 56 00:03:39,250 --> 00:03:41,450 Ale jsem ne��astnej a m��ou mi pomoct. 57 00:03:41,450 --> 00:03:44,250 - J� nev�d�la, �e jsi ne��astn�. - J� taky ne. 58 00:03:44,250 --> 00:03:48,050 M� v�bec p�edstavu o pen�z�ch? Pen�ze nerostou na stromech. 59 00:03:48,051 --> 00:03:49,950 Je ti jedno, �e m�m deprese? 60 00:03:50,051 --> 00:03:53,550 Co kdy� si vezmu �ivot nebo za�nu p�t jako d�da? 61 00:03:53,850 --> 00:03:58,750 Kdy� mysl�, �e m� tak �patnej �ivot, tak si vem �spory na kolo. 62 00:04:00,950 --> 00:04:06,350 - Ale to jsou moje pen�ze. - V�ichni se rozhodujeme, co koup�me. 63 00:04:06,351 --> 00:04:09,350 Chce� nov� kolo nebo se chce� zbavit depres�? 64 00:04:09,350 --> 00:04:14,350 - Michelle, Stan chce m�t auditing. - To je dob�e, bude� ��astn�. 65 00:04:14,351 --> 00:04:18,350 - To douf�m. - Je to za��tek tv�ho nov�ho �ivota. 66 00:04:18,650 --> 00:04:21,950 Skv�le, tak�e m� 240 dolar�? 67 00:04:22,850 --> 00:04:28,350 Perfektn�, tak jdem na to. Poj� sem a j� t� zasv�t�m. 68 00:04:28,750 --> 00:04:33,550 Scientologii zalo�il v�znamn� mu� jm�nem L. Ron Hubbard. 69 00:04:33,750 --> 00:04:39,750 Pan Hubbard zjistit, �e negativn� emoce zp�sobuj� takzvan� thetani. 70 00:04:39,751 --> 00:04:40,350 Fakt? 71 00:04:40,351 --> 00:04:46,350 Ano, a proto�e byl takov� g�nius, na�el zp�sob, jak se thetan� zbavit. 72 00:04:46,351 --> 00:04:50,250 Tohle je e-metr, hlavn� n�stroj scientologie. 73 00:04:50,251 --> 00:04:54,950 Chytne� tyto dr��ky a j� s tebou budu mluvit o tv�m �ivot�. 74 00:04:55,050 --> 00:04:59,350 Odtud vezmu �daje a ur��m �rove� tv�ho thetana. 75 00:04:59,351 --> 00:05:02,850 - �rove� thetana. - Poj� do auditingov� m�stnosti. 76 00:05:04,950 --> 00:05:10,250 Tito lid� audituj� s e-metrem, aby se zbavili negativn�ch emoc�. 77 00:05:10,950 --> 00:05:15,250 Uvolni se, Stane, a uchop dr��ky e-metru. 78 00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:18,950 Tohle m� rozvesel�? 79 00:05:18,951 --> 00:05:23,650 Zhluboka se nadechni a j� z�sk�m z�kladn� �daje o tv�m thetanovi. 80 00:05:28,450 --> 00:05:30,450 To je zvl�tn�. 81 00:05:30,550 --> 00:05:33,050 - Co? - N�co se rozbilo. 82 00:05:33,150 --> 00:05:36,550 - Briane, m��e� na chv�li? - Jo. Ahoj, Gregu! 83 00:05:36,550 --> 00:05:39,850 - Stane. - Pod�v� se na jeho �rove� thetana? 84 00:05:40,250 --> 00:05:44,850 Zkus�me jinej e-metr, tenhle je zjevn� rozbitej. Promi�, Gregu. 85 00:05:45,250 --> 00:05:52,050 Vyhodnot�me va�i osobnost a kdy� bude t�eba, za mal� poplatek pom��eme. 86 00:05:52,150 --> 00:05:54,450 To zn� rozumn�, �no. 87 00:05:54,451 --> 00:05:58,550 - Miku, mus�m s tebou mluvit. - Omluvte m�, hned jsem zp�tky. 88 00:05:58,950 --> 00:06:01,650 - Nen� ti nic? Pot� se. - Pod�vej se na tohle. 89 00:06:01,651 --> 00:06:04,950 - Co je to? - V�sledky chlapce v m�stnosti D. 90 00:06:05,750 --> 00:06:08,050 To nem��e b�t spr�vn�. 91 00:06:08,050 --> 00:06:13,050 Zkou�eli jsme to �ty�ikr�t na �ty�ech r�zn�ch e-metrech. 92 00:06:13,850 --> 00:06:19,850 Po�li to do centr�ly v LA. To mus� vid�t n� prezident. Hned! 93 00:06:20,550 --> 00:06:23,850 "CENTR�LA SCIENTOLOGIE" 94 00:06:24,450 --> 00:06:27,450 Ten chlapec je z horsk�ho m�sta v Coloradu. 95 00:06:27,451 --> 00:06:31,050 Jak m��e m�t napoprv� takovou �rove� thetana? 96 00:06:31,051 --> 00:06:36,250 Jeho OT je 9! Moje je jenom 7 a jsem �lenem cel� �ivot! 97 00:06:37,050 --> 00:06:41,150 Na tento den jsem �ekal 42 let. 98 00:06:41,151 --> 00:06:44,050 - Pane? - Nech�pete, co to znamen�? 99 00:06:44,051 --> 00:06:49,150 V historii c�rkve m�l jedin� �lov�k OT 9. 100 00:06:54,550 --> 00:06:57,150 L. Ron Hubbard �ekl, �e �il minul� �ivoty. 101 00:06:57,150 --> 00:07:00,350 Tak�e kdy� zem�el, jeho thetan by se m�l znovu objevit. 102 00:07:01,150 --> 00:07:03,750 N� v�tec se vr�til. 103 00:07:07,150 --> 00:07:09,650 Stanley, ne� p�jde� sp�t, vynes ko�. 104 00:07:09,651 --> 00:07:13,150 - Vyn�el jsem ho v�era. - Okam�it�, Stane! 105 00:07:16,250 --> 00:07:18,250 Blb� smet�! 106 00:07:19,950 --> 00:07:21,750 Tady je! 107 00:07:26,850 --> 00:07:32,050 - D�ky, �e ses vr�til! - Je n�dhern�! 108 00:07:33,450 --> 00:07:36,650 - Stane, co jsi sakra ud�lal? - J� nev�m. 109 00:07:43,750 --> 00:07:47,150 Ahoj, mlad�ku. J� jsem �editel scientologie. 110 00:07:47,151 --> 00:07:50,650 Je mi ct� t� poznat. 111 00:07:53,050 --> 00:07:58,350 - O co tady sakra jde? - Va�eho syna hled�me u� dlouho. 112 00:07:58,550 --> 00:08:02,650 Je reinkarnac� nejslavn�j��ho v�tce na�� c�rkve. 113 00:08:02,850 --> 00:08:07,450 - Co? - V�ichni scientologov� se raduj� z jeho n�vratu. 114 00:08:07,550 --> 00:08:10,650 Nechceme, aby se k v�m n� syn p�idal. 115 00:08:10,750 --> 00:08:15,450 My ho ne��d�me, aby se k n�m p�idal, ale aby n�s vedl. 116 00:08:15,850 --> 00:08:18,450 Panebo�e, to je John Travolta! 117 00:08:19,850 --> 00:08:23,350 Tady �ije L. Ron Hubbard? Panebo�e! 118 00:08:23,450 --> 00:08:28,750 John Travolta a Tom Cruise jsou velk�mi scientology. U� mi v���te? 119 00:08:29,250 --> 00:08:34,550 Chlap�e, v�m, �e si to nepamatuje�, ale jmenoval ses L. Ron Hubbard. 120 00:08:34,650 --> 00:08:38,450 Odhalil jsi tajemstv�, kter�m za�ala scientologick� c�rkev. 121 00:08:38,550 --> 00:08:44,250 Stane, je pozd�, b� u� sp�t. Maminka s tat�nkem to vy��d�. 122 00:08:48,450 --> 00:08:52,150 - Panebo�e. - L. Rone? 123 00:08:52,650 --> 00:08:56,750 Jsi to v�n� ty! Tohle je nejv�t�� den m�ho �ivota. 124 00:08:56,751 --> 00:09:01,450 - Mus�m j�t sp�t. - To jsem j�, Tom Cruise! 125 00:09:01,451 --> 00:09:04,250 - J� v�m, kdo jsi. - Nevedl jsem si dob�e? 126 00:09:04,251 --> 00:09:07,650 Nel�bilo se ti m� herectv�? Kter� film se ti nejv�c l�bil? 127 00:09:07,850 --> 00:09:13,150 No, nejsi tak dobrej jako Leonardo DiCaprio, ale jde to. 128 00:09:14,250 --> 00:09:19,050 - Co? - Nejsi Gene Hackman nebo ten, co hr�l Napoleona Dynamita. 129 00:09:20,850 --> 00:09:24,650 Nejsem nic. Jsem zklam�n� v o��ch v�tce! 130 00:09:25,950 --> 00:09:30,150 - J� to tak nemyslel! - B� pry�! 131 00:09:30,350 --> 00:09:33,950 - Tohle je m�j pokoj! - B� pry�, pov�d�m! 132 00:09:35,150 --> 00:09:38,150 Tati, Tom Cruise nechce odej�t z komory! 133 00:09:39,050 --> 00:09:42,850 - Co�e? - Tom Cruise se zamkl v komo�e a nechce odej�t. 134 00:09:46,450 --> 00:09:49,450 Pane Cruisi, vyjd�te z komory. 135 00:09:50,050 --> 00:09:53,550 - Ne! - No tak, je to d�tinsk�. 136 00:09:53,551 --> 00:09:56,450 - Nikdy nevyjdu! - Cos mu �ekl? 137 00:09:56,451 --> 00:10:00,750 - �e Napoleon Dynamit je lep�� herec, ne� on. - Ach jo. 138 00:10:01,350 --> 00:10:04,850 Pane Cruisi, nem��ete tam z�stat. Mus�te j�t ven. 139 00:10:04,851 --> 00:10:07,450 - Co se d�je? - Tom Cruise nechce odej�t z komory. 140 00:10:07,451 --> 00:10:09,650 - Co? - Nechte m� b�t! 141 00:10:09,651 --> 00:10:12,950 To nejde, proto�e vy nevyjdete! 142 00:10:18,300 --> 00:10:23,500 U� jsou to �ty�i hodiny a Tom Cruise je�t� nevy�el z komory. 143 00:10:23,501 --> 00:10:27,700 P�i�ly stovky div�k� v nad�ji, �e to celebrita kone�n� vzd�. 144 00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:33,700 Tome Cruisi, tady policie. Pros�m, opus�te komoru. 145 00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:39,500 V�ichni cht�j�, abyste vy�el ven. 146 00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:46,700 Nikdo nebude na�tvanej a v�echno bude dobr�, tak vylezte. 147 00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:54,100 St�le nev�me jist�, pro� je v komo�e, ale m�m tu slavn�ho zp�v�ka R. Kellyho. 148 00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:58,600 Jen tak jsem tu st�l a Tom Cruise se zamkl v komo�e. 149 00:10:58,601 --> 00:11:02,600 Pt�m se s�m sebe, pro� odtamtud nevyleze. 150 00:11:02,601 --> 00:11:07,300 Nikdo neodpov�d�, a tak si vyt�hnu boucha�ku! 151 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:11,800 �ekn�te, pro� je v t� komo�e, nebo n�koho odd�l�m! 152 00:11:12,900 --> 00:11:16,400 Pros�m pochopte, �e chceme pro va�eho syna to nejlep��. 153 00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:21,700 O Hubbardovu reinkarnaci se mus�me postarat. M�l mnoho nep��tel. 154 00:11:21,800 --> 00:11:24,300 Nebyl L. Ron Hubbard spisovatel sci-fi? 155 00:11:24,300 --> 00:11:30,000 Ano, ale byl tak� v�tec, kter� v�d�l tajnou pravdu o �ivot�. 156 00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:32,900 Tohle je moc. 157 00:11:32,901 --> 00:11:37,100 Chceme Stanovi uk�zat tajemstv� �ivota v na�� c�rkvi. 158 00:11:37,201 --> 00:11:40,300 P��sn� st�e�en� scientologick� pozn�n�. 159 00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:43,900 Pros�m, v� syn si zaslou�� b�t osv�cen. 160 00:11:44,300 --> 00:11:48,200 Stane, chce� sly�et velk� scientologick� pozn�n�? 161 00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:51,200 - Jasn�. - Tak mu to �ekn�te. 162 00:11:51,900 --> 00:11:55,500 Omluv�te n�s? Toto je vysoce d�v�rn� informace. 163 00:11:56,100 --> 00:11:57,900 Kruci! 164 00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:03,000 V�t�inou mus� b�t n�kolik let �lenem, abys sly�el tajn� pozn�n�. 165 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:05,300 Jsi p�ipraven sly�et pravdu? 166 00:12:05,500 --> 00:12:11,100 - Asi jo. - Existuje d�vod, pro� se lid� c�t� �patn�. 167 00:12:11,300 --> 00:12:16,400 Mimozemsk� d�vod. V�echno za�alo p�ed 75 miliony lety. 168 00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:23,200 V tu dobu existovala galaktick� federace, kter� vl�dl zl� vl�dce Xenu. 169 00:12:24,700 --> 00:12:27,200 Xenu myslel, �e je jeho galaxie p�elidn�n�, 170 00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:33,200 a tak shrom�dil v�echny mo�n� mimozem��any a nechal je zmrazit. 171 00:12:35,300 --> 00:12:38,100 "V TOTO SCIENTOLOGOV� OPRAVDU V���" 172 00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:44,500 Zmra�en� t�la nalo�ili na k�i�n�ky podobn� DC-8. 173 00:12:44,601 --> 00:12:48,600 K�i�n�ky vzaly zmrzl� t�la na na�i planetu, Zemi, 174 00:12:48,700 --> 00:12:51,300 a shodily je do havajsk�ch sopek. 175 00:12:52,500 --> 00:12:55,400 Mimozem��an� u� nebyli zmra�en�, byli mrtv�. 176 00:12:55,500 --> 00:13:00,700 Jejich du�e ale �ily a vzl�tly k obloze. 177 00:13:01,100 --> 00:13:03,700 Ale zl� Xenu byl na to p�ipraven�. 178 00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:10,300 Xenu necht�l, aby se du�e vr�tily, a tak vyrobil ob�� ducholapa�e. 179 00:13:11,700 --> 00:13:16,900 Du�e byly p�em�st�ny do za��zen� pro ideologick� p�e�kolen�. 180 00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:22,900 Zde du�e musely sledovat materi�l, kv�li kter�mu uv��ily fale�n� realit�. 181 00:13:23,100 --> 00:13:28,500 Pot� Xenu propustil du�e, kter� se zmaten� za�aly potulovat po Zemi. 182 00:13:28,700 --> 00:13:33,200 Za �svitu lidstva du�e kone�n� na�ly t�la, kter�ch se mohly chytit. 183 00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:35,600 P�ipoutaly se k cel�mu lidstvu, 184 00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:41,300 ��m� n�m dote� zp�sobuj� strach, zmaten� a na�e probl�my. 185 00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:48,100 L. Ron Hubbard n�m pov�d�l tuto neuv��itelnou pravdu. 186 00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:52,400 Te� t� ��d�me, abys za�al tam, kde on skon�il. 187 00:13:52,700 --> 00:13:54,600 Ale j� o tom nic nev�m. 188 00:13:54,700 --> 00:14:00,400 To nev�d�l ani L. Ron. Pr� zav�el o�i a psal, co ho napadlo. 189 00:14:00,501 --> 00:14:05,000 - Taky to dok�e�. Nech to plynout. - Zkus�m to. 190 00:14:05,001 --> 00:14:07,800 R�d bych psal v pokoji, ale Tom Cruise nechce z komory. 191 00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:11,300 J� v�m. Poslali jsme tam na pomoc Nicole Kidman. 192 00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:15,900 Tome? To jsem j�, Nicole. 193 00:14:16,500 --> 00:14:20,400 - Ahoj, Nicole. - Nemysl�, �e u� to sta��? 194 00:14:20,501 --> 00:14:23,300 U� bys m�l z t� komory vyj�t. 195 00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:29,600 - J� nejsem v komo�e. - Ale jsi. Mus� s t�m p�estat a vyj�t. 196 00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:38,000 Nebudu o tob� sm��let jinak a Katie taky ne. U� m��e� vyj�t. 197 00:14:38,500 --> 00:14:42,400 - Ale j� tu nejsem. - Ale jsi. 198 00:14:42,900 --> 00:14:47,700 - J� nejsem v komo�e. - Tak jak s tebou mluv�m? 199 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:55,300 Nem��e� se skr�vat v��n� jenom proto, �e ses Hubbardovi nel�bil. 200 00:14:55,500 --> 00:14:58,600 Poj� ven, nikoho neoblbne�. 201 00:14:59,100 --> 00:15:01,500 Ale j� tu nejsem. 202 00:15:05,700 --> 00:15:06,900 Jo! 203 00:15:07,700 --> 00:15:12,400 - �au, Stane, jdem do kina. - Nem��u, p�u nov� tajn� pozn�n�. 204 00:15:13,700 --> 00:15:17,200 Stane, d�l� n�m starosti ta tv� sekta. 205 00:15:17,201 --> 00:15:21,400 Scientologie nen� sekta. Je zalo�en� na faktech. 206 00:15:21,401 --> 00:15:23,800 L. Ron Hubbard psal sci-fi. 207 00:15:23,801 --> 00:15:27,600 �il na jacht� s mal�ma klukama a n�kolikr�t ho zatkli. 208 00:15:27,701 --> 00:15:32,200 To jsou pov�da�ky lid�, kte�� neznaj tajnou pravdu. 209 00:15:32,700 --> 00:15:36,700 - Jakou pravdu? - To nem��u ��ct, mus� zaplatit za l�ta auditingu. 210 00:15:36,701 --> 00:15:39,700 D��v jsem byl v depres�ch a te� jsem na�el smysl. 211 00:15:39,700 --> 00:15:41,300 J� nev�d�l, �es byl v depres�ch. 212 00:15:41,301 --> 00:15:46,600 J� taky ne. Ale kdy� to nehodl�te p�ijmout, tak u� nem��em b�t k�mo�i. 213 00:15:51,500 --> 00:15:55,300 Stane, chci abys v�d�l, �e Kyla stejn� nen�vid�m v�c. 214 00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:04,100 Tome, tady John Travolta. 215 00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:08,400 - Ahoj, Johne. - Mus� ven, panebo�e. 216 00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:14,200 - L. Ron mysl�, �e jsem �patnej herec. - Mo�n� jsi ho �patn� pochopil. 217 00:16:15,300 --> 00:16:19,600 Kdy� nechce� j�t ven, tak m� aspo� pus� dovnit�. 218 00:16:21,500 --> 00:16:24,700 - Dobr�, ale ��dn� lev�rny. - ��dn� lev�rny. 219 00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:32,400 - Je to tu pohodln�. - Jo, vid�? 220 00:16:32,401 --> 00:16:35,100 Cejt�m se v bezpe��, bo�e. 221 00:16:36,900 --> 00:16:39,300 Hal�? Hej, vylezte! 222 00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:45,100 Tome, podle v�eho je v komo�e i John Travolta. 223 00:16:45,101 --> 00:16:48,600 S podrobnostmi je tu op�t R. Kelly. 224 00:16:48,900 --> 00:16:52,900 Jen tak jsem tu st�l a Tom Cruise se zav�el v komo�e. 225 00:16:52,901 --> 00:16:57,100 Pak p�i�el John Travolta a u� je taky v komo�e. 226 00:16:57,101 --> 00:17:00,700 Pros�m, vylezte ven z komory! 227 00:17:00,701 --> 00:17:04,400 Mus�m se uklidnit, a tak vyt�hnu boucha�ku! 228 00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:06,400 Je��i, je to tu zas! 229 00:17:06,401 --> 00:17:10,300 Jestli nevyjdou z t� komory, odpr�sknu tuhle svini! 230 00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:15,200 Ano, je to skv�l�, Stane. 231 00:17:15,300 --> 00:17:20,500 P�u, �e bysme nem�li l�tat v DC-8, proto�e p�ipom�naj� Xenuho k�i�n�ky. 232 00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:23,200 Ano, to je b�je�n�! 233 00:17:23,300 --> 00:17:26,700 A �e Xenu ned�vno utekl z galaktick� basy. 234 00:17:26,701 --> 00:17:32,600 - No ano! - A to nejlep��, �e scientologov� n�m u� nemus� platit. 235 00:17:33,100 --> 00:17:37,700 - Co? - Abychom byli c�rkev, nem��em za pomoc vyb�rat pen�ze. 236 00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:41,300 Nejsi blbej? A jak na lidech vyd�l�me prachy? 237 00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:45,200 Nejde o pen�ze, ale o poselstv�, ne? 238 00:17:45,700 --> 00:17:50,400 Tak po�kat, nev��� t�mhle kravin�m, �e ne? 239 00:17:52,100 --> 00:17:56,600 Blb�e! Mimozemsk� du�e? E-metry a thetani? 240 00:17:56,601 --> 00:18:01,500 J� myslel, �e jsi natolik chytrej a ch�pe�, o co jde. 241 00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:06,200 - Ale ��kal jste... - Co je lep��, ne� nechat lidi v��it v blbej p��b�h? 242 00:18:06,700 --> 00:18:09,200 Nechat je za to platit, blb�e! 243 00:18:09,500 --> 00:18:13,000 Tak pro� pot�ebujete m�, abych n�co takov�ho napsal. 244 00:18:13,001 --> 00:18:16,500 Proto�e kdy� lidi budou myslet, �e jsi reinkarnace Hubbarda, 245 00:18:16,501 --> 00:18:22,300 koup� tvoje spisy a spole�n� vyd�l�me 3 miliony dolar�! 246 00:18:22,900 --> 00:18:25,700 - T�i miliony? - Takhle podvody funguj�. 247 00:18:25,701 --> 00:18:31,500 Jen�e tohle je podvod glob�ln�ch rozm�r�. U� mi kurva rozum�? 248 00:18:32,500 --> 00:18:37,700 - Jo, rozum�m. - Tak pi� d�l, tvoji lid� �ekaj�. 249 00:18:38,500 --> 00:18:40,200 Zpr�vy ze South Parku. 250 00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:44,100 Tom Cruise a John Travolta po��d nevy�li z komory. 251 00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:47,100 Policie se rozhodla zkusit novou metodu. 252 00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:54,700 Po��dali m�, abych sem �el a vyt�hl v�s z t� komory. 253 00:18:54,701 --> 00:18:59,900 Tohle je ��lenost, pro� prost� nevylezete? 254 00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:05,200 My odtud nevyjdeme, tak m��e� j�t pry�. 255 00:19:05,300 --> 00:19:10,100 - Ale v�ichni v�s cht�j venku. - To je jedno, my tu z�st�v�me. 256 00:19:10,101 --> 00:19:14,100 Za��n�m se zlobit, tak si vyt�hnu boucha�ku! 257 00:19:14,500 --> 00:19:17,100 Otev�te, po��t�m do t��. 258 00:19:17,101 --> 00:19:22,800 Jedna, oba v�s odpr�sknu. Dva, zabiju n�jakou svini. T�i... 259 00:19:29,500 --> 00:19:33,600 Te� jsem v komo�e. Te� jsem taky v komo�e. 260 00:19:34,500 --> 00:19:38,400 Draz� scientologov�, n� v�tec dokon�il nov� pozn�n�... 261 00:19:38,401 --> 00:19:43,300 a p�e�te p�r pas��, ne� to bude k sehn�n� za drobn� poplatek. 262 00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:49,200 Tady m�te reinkarnaci L. Rona Hubbarda! 263 00:19:56,800 --> 00:20:05,400 D�ky. Napsal jsem, �e mimozemsk� du�e jsou z galaxie Nubanon. 264 00:20:07,500 --> 00:20:10,700 - Nubanon. - A �e... 265 00:20:16,700 --> 00:20:20,200 - J� to nedok�u. - Co�e? 266 00:20:20,300 --> 00:20:24,100 Lidi, v�ichni hled�me odpov�di. 267 00:20:24,500 --> 00:20:28,000 V�ichni chcem v�d�t, kdo jsme a odkud jsme se vzali. 268 00:20:28,300 --> 00:20:32,300 Ale ob�as chcem odpov�di tak moc, �e uv���me v�emu. 269 00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:34,700 Co�e? 270 00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:41,400 Nejsem reinkarnace Hubbarda a scientologie je jeden velkej podvod. 271 00:20:43,700 --> 00:20:46,500 - Za tohle t� za�alujem! - Co? 272 00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:50,600 Mysl�, �e m��e� ��kat, �e na�e n�bo�enstv� je podvrh? Za�alujem t�! 273 00:20:50,700 --> 00:20:55,600 - S�m jste mi to �ekl! - A te� to sv�d� na m�? Za�alujem t�! 274 00:20:55,601 --> 00:21:00,800 Ze scientologie si nem��e� d�lat srandu! Za�alujem ti prdel i koule! 275 00:21:01,901 --> 00:21:04,700 Jak si dovoluje� zesm��ovat na�i v�ru?! 276 00:21:04,701 --> 00:21:07,000 Z�tra usly�� od na�ich pr�vn�k�! 277 00:21:07,001 --> 00:21:14,600 M�me neuv��iteln� zpr�vy! Tom Cruise, John Travolta a R. Kelly opustili komoru! 278 00:21:17,300 --> 00:21:21,900 Tak�e nejsi v�tec! Ud�lal jsi ze m� vola, taky t� za�aluju! 279 00:21:21,901 --> 00:21:25,800 - Fajn, tak m� �aluj! - Za�aluju t� v Anglii! 280 00:21:25,900 --> 00:21:29,800 - Jsi �pln� za�alovanej! - Tak m� �alujte! 281 00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:33,200 - Ud�l�me to! - Tak do toho! 282 00:21:33,201 --> 00:21:35,900 J� se v�s neboj�m! �alujte m�! 283 00:21:36,060 --> 00:21:42,000 P�eklad: MND �asov�n�: Pix 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net 26450

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