All language subtitles for S2E2-The Horsetronaut_Subtítulos01.ENG

[whinnies]

Hello. I'm Mister Ed.

♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪

♪ And no one can talk
to a horse, of course ♪

♪ That is, of course,
unless the horse ♪

♪ Is the famous
Mister Ed ♪

♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪

♪ He'll give you
the answer ♪

♪ That you'll endorse ♪

♪ He's always
on a steady course ♪

♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪

♪ Got a date a little later ♪

♪ When the moon
is on the trail ♪

♪ With the cutest
triple gaiter ♪

♪ My pretty little filly
with the ponytail ♪

♪ Got a bag of oats
to call with ♪

♪ Hay ♪

♪ I bring her by the bale ♪

♪ Want to share
a double stall with ♪

♪ A pretty little filly
with a ponytail ♪

Hey, Wilbur, how about
giving me a carrot?

You've had enough
carrots to eat. Finish your hay.

But carrots
are good for my eyes.

Yes, Ed, I know.

You want to have
a near-sighted horse?

Ed, finish your hay, and then
you can have a carrot.

Okay.

Hey, Ed, listen to this.

"Missile scientist to send
horse on space flight."

You're kidding.

"Major Dinehart,
in charge of the project,

"plans to send a horse up
in a new missile,

similar in design to the one
used by the astronauts."

Well, what do you know?

That's what makes this
a great country--

sending a man up first to see
if it's safe for a horse.

"Major Dinehart
explains the reason

"for using a horse
in the experiment

"is that the average horse

is equal to the weight
of five men."

Yep. We're heavier
and smarter.

Just think, Ed,

the horse that makes
that first space flight

will be the most famous horse
in history.

Wilbur, where do I go
to enlist?

You?

What's so funny?

You're too lazy to even
walk out of this barn.

All you think about
is carrots, carrots, carrots.

Oh, I can break the habit
any time I want.

Oh, I can believe that.

I wouldn't eat a carrot

if you waved it in front
of my nose right now.

Right now?

Yeah.

You tricked me.

I told you horses
are smarter than people.

I tell you, Carol, this is
a wonderful opportunity for Wilbur and me.

It sounds so exciting.

Sweetie, if this deal
goes through,

he and Wilbur stand to make
a barrel of money.

Well, roll out the barrel.

What's going on here?

Wilbur, do you know

that property I own
on Lancaster Boulevard?

Yeah, what about it?

A very big builder,
Harold Mencken,

has agreed to put up
a shopping center on it,

if I can find an architect
with imagination

to come up with some new ideas
that will interest him.

A shopping center, huh?

The biggest.
A really colossal one.

My doll is building
a little playground for Mother.

Carol, do you hear that?
A shopping center.

Isn't it wonderful, Wilbur?

You've always wanted
to express yourself artistically.

How much time
do you think you'll need to come up with some ideas?

Oh, I figure a few days
for research,

few more days
for preliminary sketches,

and a final draft
in a couple of weeks.

No good. By that time,
Mencken may lose interest in the project.

What's the soonest you could
have some plans ready?

How about half an hour?

Now you're talking.

I once had an idea
for a shopping center

where each store represented
a different country.

What did you have in mind?

I was thinking about
an English haberdashery,

a Swedish massage parlor,

- a German bakery--
- Honey.

Aren't you going to have
any American stores?

Sure, two.

Chop suey joint
and a pizza parlor.

You crazy thing.

[both hum]

All finished.
Ed, here's my sketch for the new shopping center,

with every service
you could think of.

Except one.

What's that?

A horse wash.

Ed, I got news for you.

When people go shopping
these days,

they go in their car.

- I know.
- Horses are a thing of the past.

Well, once they send
that first horse into space,

we'll come back
stronger than ever.

You've been talking
about this for days,

but I don't see you
volunteering for the trip.

Well, I may look like
a dumb animal,

but I'm not stupid.

Tell the truth, Ed.
You're chicken.

Right down to my pinfeathers.

How can a horse be a chicken?

Wilbur, this is Mr. Mencken.

Oh, hello Mr. Mencken.
I've been looking forward to meeting you, sir.

How do you do?

I just finished
the, uh, rough sketch for our shopping center.

If you'll excuse me,
Mr. Mencken,

I know you two
have a lot to discuss.

Could you get lunch,
hon, yeah?

Mr. Post,
is this where you work?

Yes, yes. I find this
very comfortable.

Don't you find the horse
a little disturbing?

Ed? Oh, no. No.

As a matter of fact,
we've been together so long,

I'm thinking of making him
a junior partner.

Well, I think first
we should go over the sketch step by step.

Look, would you mind
closing that stall door?

I'm allergic to hay.

Certainly.

Well, I'm sure Mr. Addison
explained to you

that I'm designing
this shopping center

with an international flavor.

In approaching the arcade,
you drive through this Roman arch.

Mr. Post, do you always
sharpen your carrots?

My junior partner.

Yes, now this area
in the center over here--

This is a parking lot
with a gas station.

Alongside that,
we have the horse wash.

This is the entrance
that you go through

to get to the shopping arcade.

Horse wash?

Oh, car wash.

The arcade itself consists
of a German bakery,

English haberdashery--

A Parisian beauty salon,
a Swedish massage parlor...

Honey, did Mr. Mencken call
when I was out?

Not yet, dear.

Stop worrying so much.

I can't help it.

Yesterday, when he took
my sketches with him,

he didn't seem
too enthusiastic.

Oh, I just know
he'll love your ideas.

How do you know?

Because I like them.

Does that make you feel
any better?

It would,
if you were Mr. Mencken.

Do you still wish
I were Mr. Mencken?

Until those contracts
are signed, yes.

You're just a sweet,
crazy, mixed-up architect.

Add the word stupid,
and you've got it.

I just had lunch with Mencken.

I don't think you made
a very favorable impression.

- I didn't?
- I'm afraid not.

He stuck me with the check.

He didn't like
Wilbur's sketches?

Oh, he thought
they were interesting,

but he has a complete
lack of faith in the architect.

Roger,
that doesn't make sense.

Mencken said any man
who shares his office with a horse

and sharpens carrots
must be some kind of kook.

Well, didn't you say anything
in my defense?

No. It's hard to argue
with a man

when you agree with him.

So the deal is off?

Not entirely.
I convinced Mencken

that Wilbur was only
using the barn temporarily,

until they gotp5 through
redecorating his regular office downtown.

- But Roger, that's a lie.
- The biggest.

But to close this deal,

I will lie, beg,
borrow or steal.

And if you don't come up
with an office by tomorrow,

you can add murder
to that list.

I've worked back there
so long,

I'd feel lost anywhere else.

And why should Mencken care
where I work,

as long as my work is good?

Honey, maybe Roger is right.

I mean, let's face it,

a barn doesn't make
a very impressive office.

But I like working at home,

where I have companionship.

Someone who cares.

Someone who gives me
inspiration.

Someone who loves me
for what I am,

not just for the oats and hay
he can get out of me.

I think maybe you ought to get
that office downtown.

Hey, what are you doing?

Uh-oh.

What is going on here?

Well, people pitch horseshoes.

Pitch your own shoes.
I just polished these.

Sorry, Wilbur.

I was just killing time

till you got here
for our chess game.

Oh. Well, maybe
a little later, Ed.

I've got a lot of things
on my mind right now.

Okay.

Ed, don't you sometimes feel

a little cramped in here?

Cramped?

Well, what I mean is, Ed,

this is your barn, and I feel
that I sort of moved in on you.

If it'll make you
feel any better, pay me rent.

No, Ed.

You know, when I work here
late at night,

I feel sometimes
that the noise I make might be keeping you up.

No, I never go to sleep until
The Late Late Show is over.

Ed, what would you say
if I took an office downtown?

Wilbur, I just made a--

Will you please
put that animal back in his stall?

He's caused enough trouble
around here.

All right. Come on, Ed.
Back in the stall.

We'd have had the contract
signed long ago

if it wasn't for
this silly horse.

I'm sorry, Rog.

That was an accident.

I'm not so sure.

But anyway,
I made a phone call.

I got you a beautiful office

in the new Brill building
downtown.

Well, Rog, I haven't
made up my mind yet.

Believe me,
you have no choice.

We've got a great deal
at stake.

It may not be too late
to win Mencken over.

And besides, this project
can put you right up there

among the leading architects
of the country.

Well, I need time.

Time? You've got 15 minutes
to make up your mind,

whether you want to be
an architect or a stable boy.

Gee.

Don't feel too bad, Ed.

He didn't mean what he said.

He's right. Maybe you ought
to take that office downtown.

- Don't say that.
- Well, it's true.

There's a time
when one has to stand on his own four feet.

Come on now, Ed.

I can get my work done
without you.

I mean, if I had to.

Then prove it.

Tell old vinegar-puss
you'll take that office.

Okay.

I'll miss you, Ed.

Please, Wilbur,
let's not get sloppy.

Just go, and don't look back.

[sniffles]

Don't look.

[sniffles]

You always hurt
the one you love.

"And I would appreciate
receiving your estimate

"for the lumber
on the Mencken project

"at your earliest possible
convenience."

You got that, Miss Culbertson?

Yes, Mr. Post.

Mr. Post.

Oh, oh, I'm sorry,
Miss Culbertson.

There was a fly on your nose.

Well, where were we, Ed?

Uh, Miss Culbertson.

This letter to
the Gray Lumber Company.

Fine. Would you please
type it out? I'll send it.

Yes, sir.

[phone rings]

Hello?

Hi, Ed. I was hoping
I'd hear from you. You okay?

Yeah. I just wanted to find out
where you stashed the carrots.

Ed, I told you to stop
eating those carrots between meals.

Eat your hay.

But this last bale
of hay you got me

is not for horses.

It's for the birds.

Oh, stop complaining.

I buy your hay at the best
feed store in town.

Well, all right.
If you must have carrots,

they're above my desk
on the top shelf.

You can't reach them?

- [chomping]
- Well, I'll tell you what you do.

Put a chair in your mouth

and put your chair
on top of the desk.

See?

Now, stand with your hind feet
on the floor

and your front feet
on the chair. You got it?

Are you kidding?

This is one horse
that's never going into space.

Look, Ed, I'll be home about--

Oh. Yes, Miss Culbertson?

I just wanted to remind you
about your 2:00 appointment

with Mr. Mencken
and Mr. Addison.

Thank you, Miss Culbertson.

Ed, I'll be home about 6:00.

Okay.

Honey, we did it.

Enter the conquering heroes.

Oh, Wilbur, I'm so happy.

Just think, your international
shopping center

will finally become a reality.

Honey, you're going to have
charge accounts

in five different languages.

Oh, this calls
for a celebration.

Everything on me.
The champagne will flow like water.

If you're paying,
it will be water.

Oh, no, no, no, my dear.

Tonight, I'm going all out.

We'll take in a show,
we'll have a great dinner,

we'll go to a nightclub.

Nothing's too good for Wilbur.

Tonight, my boy,
you'll be queen for a day.

We'd better hurry
if I'm going to be dressed in time.

Come, Diamond Jim.

You go ahead upstairs
and get dressed.

I'll go check on Ed.

All right, darling.

Congratulations, darling.

[hums]

♪ A little later ♪

♪ When the moon
is on the trail ♪

♪ With a cutie ♪

Hi, Ed. Good to see you, boy.

Good to see you, too.

I've got the chess board
all set up.

Oh, I can't play, Ed.

We just signed that deal
with Mencken,

and tonight we're going out
to celebrate.

But I didn't
see you last night or the night before.

I'm sorry, Ed,
but now that I'm spending all day long in the office,

Carol feels I should spend
my evenings with her.

Well, if you spend
the evenings with her,

when will I see you?

Sunday morning, we can still
take our little ride in the park.

Gee, Wilbur.

Sleep well, Ed.

In the morning,
I'll check in on you on my way to work.

[mocking]
"Sleep well. In the morning,

I'll check in on you
on my way to work."

But he doesn't need me
anymore.

There's only one thing
left to do--

volunteer.

Well, Mom always said
I was a dizzy kid.

Well, here I go.

Okay, guard, you can go
to lunch now.

Hey, Charlie,
what are you doing, putting me on?

- What?
- Come off of it.

Didn't you tell me
to go to lunch?

You're standing in the sun
too long.

Well, Major Dinehart
is waiting to process them.

Now, which one should I
take first?

Well, why don't you ask
for volunteers?

Oh, you're a funny man.

First candidate.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Hm.

Interesting-looking specimen.

Well, he seems strong enough,

but he doesn't look
overly intelligent.

[sneezes]

Hey, Major, Major,
did you see that?

What?

I sneezed, and he took
the handkerchief

right out of my pocket.

Purely coincidental.

He was attracted by the color
of your handkerchief.

Well, we've got
a long day ahead,

so we better get on
with the examination.

What did I do
with my stethoscope?

Oh, thank you.

Thank you.

How about that?

I think
we'll skip the physical

and get right on
with the intelligence test.

He seems the right weight.

Major, is this the test?

Oh, yes.

Well, how does it work?

Well, the horse that we'll be
sending into space

will have to be
quite intelligent,

so this memory test
will help us select the right animal.

Oh, it's a memory test, huh?

Oh, yes. You see,
each of these boxes contains a carrot.

Now, one of these boxes
is charged with electricity.

If the horse
has intelligence enough,

after a few shocks,

he'll soon learn to avoid
the charged box.

Hey, that's pretty good,
Major. That's pretty good.

All right, bring him over.

Come on, horse. Come on.

Come on.

Whoa, whoa.
All right, boy.

Here you are,
some nice, juicy carrots.

Help yourself.

Hello. Animal shelter?

This is Mr. Post again.

Has my horse turned up yet?

Please, it's been two days.

Well, if you should have
any news,

would you call me right away?

Yeah. Thank you very much.

Wilbur, I know
where Mister Ed is.

Where, where?

Now, promise me
you won't get excited.

I'm not excited. Where is he?

Honey, be calm. Now, sit down.

Look.

No. No.

Oh, no.

No.

Wilbur, where are you going?

To the Army missile base.

I didn't raise my horse
to be a soldier.

Big deal.

Agent, Major,
we're almost ready for the blast-off.

Fine. Excellent.

Take him out and weigh him in.

Yes, sir.

All right, come on, boy.

A-Okay, horsetronaut.

Where do you think
you're going?

My horse, they're sending him
into space. I got to stop him.

Sorry, buddy, but no one's
allowed in here without a security pass.

It's all a mistake.

You see, my horse
really doesn't want to go.

He feels that I don't
need him anymore.

I should have taken out
more time to play chess with him.

Attention, field crew.

Continuing countdown.

6,

5,

4,

3,

2,

1.

[rocket blasts off]

Goodbye, Ed.

Sorry, Ed.

Never should have
taken that office.

I never should have left you.

Hello, Earth man.

Ed.

What happened?
Why aren't you up there?

At the last minute,
they picked another horse.

Another? Why?

At the weigh-in,
I was 42 pounds too heavy for the capsule.

Ed, what luck.

Luck, nothing.

For the last two days,

I had to eat like a horse
to make it.

Welcome home.

Come on, your move.

[radio]
We interrupt this program for a special news bulletin.

Sparky, the first horsetronaut
to be shot into space,

has just been
recovered at sea

and appears to be
in excellent condition.

More on this later.

Ed, how about that?

I'm glad one of my boys
made it.

Tell the truth, Ed.

Aren't you sorry now
you didn't go?

Are you sorry
you're giving up your new office?

Ah, I'm glad.

Then I'm glad, too.

And if you miss
your secretary,

I'll be glad to learn
shorthand.

Your move.

Move!

♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪

♪ And no one can talk
to a horse, of course ♪

♪ That is, of course,
unless the horse ♪

♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪

♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪

♪ He'll give you
the answer ♪

♪ That you'll endorse ♪

♪ He's always
on a steady course ♪

♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪

♪ People yakkity-yak
a streak ♪

♪ And waste
your time of day ♪

♪ But Mister Ed
will never speak ♪

♪ Unless he has
something to say ♪

♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪

♪ And this one will talk
till his voice is hoarse ♪

♪ You never heard
of a talking horse? ♪

♪ Well, listen to this ♪

[Mister Ed]
♪ I am Mister Ed ♪

Closed-Captioned By
J.R. Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA

[Man]
This has been a Filmways television presentation.