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1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:24,278
http://subscene.com/u/659433
Improved by: @Ivandrofly
2
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(VEHICLE APPROACHES)
3
00:00:31,120 --> 00:00:32,765
(BRAKES SQUEAL)
4
00:00:34,800 --> 00:00:36,286
(HORN HONKS)
5
00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:38,321
(KNOCKING)
6
00:00:39,680 --> 00:00:42,008
Gilbert, you better get up.
They're here.
7
00:00:42,680 --> 00:00:45,359
- I'm up.
- You Okay?
8
00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:47,719
- Yeah.
- You're sure?
9
00:00:47,720 --> 00:00:49,046
Sure, I'm sure.
10
00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:54,639
Mom, you remember the
first time you left home?
11
00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:57,969
Yes. And I was just
as scared as you are.
12
00:00:58,920 --> 00:01:00,839
I'm not scared, really.
13
00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:03,519
I just don't like the idea of
leaving you here all alone.
14
00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:05,159
Oh, I'll be fine.
15
00:01:05,160 --> 00:01:07,439
I was fine when you went
away to computer camp.
16
00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:12,479
- Mom, that was just for two weeks.
- I can take care of myself.
17
00:01:12,480 --> 00:01:16,479
- I'm much more worried about you.
- I'm gonna be just fine.
18
00:01:16,480 --> 00:01:19,684
Anyways, I'm not gonna be alone.
I got Lewis.
19
00:01:19,920 --> 00:01:21,451
- (CHUCKLES)
- Gilbert?
20
00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:24,679
Come on. Rise and shine.
21
00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:26,999
Dad's waiting outside in the car.
It's all packed.
22
00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:28,679
- Hi, Flo.
- Hi.
23
00:01:28,680 --> 00:01:32,239
It's a beautiful day, isn't it?
It's gonna be a great year.
24
00:01:32,240 --> 00:01:34,719
Now, I figure with
lunch and two A.R.V.'s
25
00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:36,999
we should be on the road
approximately seven hours,
26
00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:38,679
eighteen minutes
and seven seconds.
27
00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:41,406
- A.R.V.'s?
- Average restroom visits.
28
00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:43,405
- (LAUGHS)
- (LAUGHS)
29
00:01:44,120 --> 00:01:46,679
Oh, I'm so proud
of you two boys.
30
00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:49,199
Come on, Gilbert.
Let's go to college.
31
00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:50,401
(LAUGHS)
32
00:01:50,960 --> 00:01:52,039
(CHUCKLING)
33
00:01:52,040 --> 00:01:53,730
God.
34
00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:55,411
(POP SONG PLAYING)
35
00:02:21,160 --> 00:02:26,039
Hey, Lewis, what time you got?
I'm trying to work out our exact E.T.A.
36
00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:30,006
I got 2:37. Dad, how
fast are we going?
37
00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:34,041
I've, uh, got the old
cruise control set at 35.
38
00:02:38,920 --> 00:02:40,281
(HORN HONKS)
39
00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:48,811
(HORN BLARING)
40
00:03:06,080 --> 00:03:09,479
Adams College.
Home of the Atoms.
41
00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:11,599
Gilbert, this is gonna
be really neat.
42
00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:14,319
Yeah? I sure hope so.
What if it isn't, huh?
43
00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:17,799
Don't be so negative. We're gonna
have the time of our lives.
44
00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:20,519
I'm not being negative.
I'm just being nervous, okay?
45
00:03:20,520 --> 00:03:23,079
Well, don't be, okay? 'Cause
everything's gonna be great.
46
00:03:23,080 --> 00:03:25,719
- Just like high school, right?
- This is college.
47
00:03:25,720 --> 00:03:29,359
Remember. There's 6,127
students at Adams,
48
00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:30,479
(CALCULATOR PRINTS)
49
00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:33,239
- 58% of which are girls.
- So?
50
00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:38,844
- So that's 7,107.32 boobs.
- (ALL LAUGH)
51
00:03:39,160 --> 00:03:43,160
Aw, you college guys are all alike.
All you really care about is getting laid.
52
00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:46,925
- I wish I was goin' with you.
- (BOTH LAUGH)
53
00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:51,048
- (LAUGHS)
- Dad!
54
00:03:57,760 --> 00:04:00,879
LEWIS: Wow.
This campus is awesome.
55
00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:03,731
It's a lot bigger
than I expected.
56
00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:08,679
- Maybe we should've gone to City Tech.
- Come on. Tech's nothin'.
57
00:04:08,680 --> 00:04:12,399
You know Adams has got the best
computer department in the country.
58
00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:16,002
Yeah, you're right.
Adams is the best.
59
00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:33,726
(TIRES SQUEAL)
60
00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:44,001
MR. SKOLNICK: Well, boys,
I mean men, here we are.
61
00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:45,571
(SONG FADES OUT)
62
00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:50,639
What an opportunity for you guys.
(LAUGHS)
63
00:04:50,640 --> 00:04:53,081
You're both gonna do great.
I'm proud of you.
64
00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:57,519
Your father would have been
proud of you too, Gilbert.
65
00:04:57,520 --> 00:04:58,879
Oh, I know Mr. Skolnick.
66
00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:02,279
Don't tell my mother I was nervous, okay?
I wouldn't want her to worry.
67
00:05:02,280 --> 00:05:05,039
- Of course not. Don't sweat it.
- Thanks.
68
00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:06,559
(BIKE BELL RINGS)
69
00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:09,081
Hey, Lewis. Come here. Sit down.
70
00:05:12,280 --> 00:05:17,611
I envy you, Lewis. This is one of the
finest institutions in the country.
71
00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:22,399
You're gonna do fantastic here.
72
00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:25,639
Try not to break too
many hearts, huh, Lewis?
73
00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:27,759
That hasn't been a
real problem yet, Dad.
74
00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:31,239
Aw, come on. You're gonna make
some lucky girl very happy.
75
00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:34,319
You're smart, easygoing.
76
00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:36,359
Got your father's good looks.
77
00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:37,971
(BOTH LAUGH)
78
00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:40,799
And you got a great
sense of humor.
79
00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:43,279
Really believe in you, son.
80
00:05:43,280 --> 00:05:46,839
- Thanks, Dad. I won't let you down.
- I know.
81
00:05:46,840 --> 00:05:50,328
Gilbert, help me with the trunk.
82
00:05:52,840 --> 00:05:56,679
- Uh, Gilbert...
- Yes, sir?
83
00:05:56,680 --> 00:05:59,439
College isn't like high school.
84
00:05:59,440 --> 00:06:01,719
You'll... You'll be on your own.
85
00:06:01,720 --> 00:06:04,439
- I want you to take care of yourself.
- I will.
86
00:06:04,440 --> 00:06:06,759
Anyway, I won't be alone.
I got Lewis.
87
00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:09,799
- Besides, we're college men now, right?
- Right!
88
00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:11,206
- (CHUCKLES)
- Ow.
89
00:06:13,120 --> 00:06:15,766
Whoop! Here. Come here.
90
00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:18,809
- Easier gettin' it down.
- (GROANS)
91
00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:21,839
- (TRUNK SLAMS ON GROUND)
- Come on, guys.
92
00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:23,451
This is an historic moment.
93
00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:25,479
All right.
94
00:06:25,480 --> 00:06:28,679
- Say cheese!
- Cheese!
95
00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:30,530
- Got it.
- (BOTH CHUCKLE)
96
00:06:31,200 --> 00:06:33,164
- Bye, Dad.
- (CHUCKLES)
97
00:06:34,920 --> 00:06:37,919
Bye. Thanks for the ride.
98
00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:41,408
- GIRL: Look at this! (LAUGHING)
- Ah.
99
00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:44,490
(BIKE BELL RINGS)
100
00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:47,879
Whoa. Look out.
101
00:06:47,880 --> 00:06:50,128
- You okay?
- Yeah.
102
00:06:58,240 --> 00:07:01,887
- Bye, Mr. Skolnick!
- Drive careful, Dad!
103
00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:05,479
Wait a minute! Watch out!
104
00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:06,920
- (SCREAMS)
- (GRUNTS)
105
00:07:08,040 --> 00:07:10,288
- Sorry! Excuse us.
- (WHIMPERING)
106
00:07:13,840 --> 00:07:15,559
MAN: At ease! At ease! At ease!
107
00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:18,519
You know, Gilbert?
I feel different already.
108
00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:21,639
Like, uh, more mature.
109
00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:23,719
Yeah. Looks like we're
in for quite a change.
110
00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:29,359
I'll say. Parties. Meeting new people.
This is really gonna be great.
111
00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:32,039
- I don't know.
- Just relax. Be yourself.
112
00:07:32,040 --> 00:07:36,040
Like Davy Crockett always said, be
sure you're right, then go ahead.
113
00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:38,206
- Hey!
- (GRUNTING)
114
00:07:40,320 --> 00:07:44,159
(CHANTING) Ogre! Ogre!
Ogre! Ogre!
115
00:07:44,160 --> 00:07:46,239
Anyway, college is a
whole new ball game.
116
00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:48,039
Nerds!
117
00:07:48,040 --> 00:07:50,279
People judge you different
than they did in high school.
118
00:07:50,280 --> 00:07:52,719
- Nerds!
- Ogre! Ogre! Ogre! Ogre!
119
00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:55,919
- Nerds!
- (CHANTING CONTINUES)
120
00:07:55,920 --> 00:07:59,759
- Nerds!
- Where are they?
121
00:07:59,760 --> 00:08:02,759
- I think they're talking about us.
- No way.
122
00:08:02,760 --> 00:08:04,759
- Nerds!
- (BOY SCREAMING)
123
00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:05,959
(THUD)
124
00:08:05,960 --> 00:08:08,319
(CHANTING)
Nerds! Nerds! Nerds!
125
00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:10,799
Come on, Lewis. Let's go.
126
00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:14,399
Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds!
Nerds! Nerds! Nerds!
127
00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:15,601
(YELLING)
128
00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:19,804
(ROCK SONG PLAYING)
129
00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:23,686
Yeah.
130
00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:25,961
(EXHALES)
131
00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:28,090
(WHOOPING)
132
00:08:34,560 --> 00:08:36,919
Ogre!
133
00:08:36,920 --> 00:08:39,122
Fill 'er up, baby!
134
00:08:41,160 --> 00:08:42,930
All right!
135
00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:48,201
(LAUGHS)
136
00:08:48,240 --> 00:08:49,930
(WHOOPING)
137
00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:52,801
(YELLING)
138
00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:57,647
Mmm, Stan.
139
00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:05,279
Okay, everybody, listen up!
It's time for stair diving!
140
00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:06,970
(CHEERING)
141
00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:17,481
(CHEERING)
142
00:09:27,920 --> 00:09:30,639
- (GRUNTING)
- Well, Gilbert, here's our new home.
143
00:09:30,640 --> 00:09:32,922
Can't believe we
finally made it.
144
00:09:43,240 --> 00:09:44,441
(GRUNTS)
145
00:09:44,760 --> 00:09:46,007
(PANTING)
146
00:09:50,680 --> 00:09:53,999
Lewis, if you don't want the bed
by the window, I'll take it.
147
00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:56,279
- You got it.
- Thanks.
148
00:09:56,280 --> 00:09:58,482
Sure.
149
00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:04,359
You know, this is
really a great room.
150
00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:06,722
- Yup.
- Definite possibilities.
151
00:10:09,520 --> 00:10:13,679
Do you think maybe they'd let us put in a
little refrigerator for snacks and things?
152
00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:17,646
Are you kidding, Gilbert? We can put a
fridge and a microwave right there.
153
00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:20,722
That'd be a good place for the
entertainment center, too.
154
00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:22,880
Great.
155
00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:25,599
And that's just the beginning.
156
00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:27,799
We're gonna have the best
dorm room on campus.
157
00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:30,959
I don't know about the best, Lewis.
It'll certainly be the messiest.
158
00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:34,209
Relax, Gilbert. Remember,
we got it covered.
159
00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:39,999
This robot will be
better than a maid.
160
00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:43,568
- It'll help with the women too.
- Women?
161
00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:47,679
Yeah. Let's say one of us
is up here with a woman?
162
00:10:47,680 --> 00:10:51,399
This'll be our early warning device,
so we don't walk in on each other.
163
00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:55,079
Wait a minute. We're allowed to
have girls in our dorm room?
164
00:10:55,080 --> 00:10:57,199
Not girls, Gil. Women.
165
00:10:57,200 --> 00:11:00,039
- We're college men now.
- Isn't college great?
166
00:11:00,040 --> 00:11:02,607
It's gonna be a great year.
(LAUGHS)
167
00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:04,206
(BOTH LAUGH)
168
00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:07,284
(ROCK SONG PLAYING)
169
00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:13,567
Come on, Betty.
Show me what you got.
170
00:11:15,599 --> 00:11:17,079
- Gable, check this out.
- What is it?
171
00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:19,319
- It is outrageous, man.
- What is it?
172
00:11:19,320 --> 00:11:21,090
Just try it!
173
00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:23,319
- Oh!
- (LAUGHS)
174
00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:24,399
Are you okay?
175
00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:27,279
- Jesus, Burke, what is this?
- 188 proof.
176
00:11:27,280 --> 00:11:29,608
It's called a fireball, man.
Watch.
177
00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:31,839
Haystack, flame on, buddy.
Flame on!
178
00:11:31,840 --> 00:11:34,088
Oh, now what?
179
00:11:36,520 --> 00:11:37,599
Whoo!
180
00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:38,999
Yeah!
181
00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:41,119
Can you do it again?
Do it again!
182
00:11:41,120 --> 00:11:45,119
(CHANTING QUIETLY) Fireball,
fireball, fireball, fireball.
183
00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:48,164
Fireball, fireball,
fireball, fireball.
184
00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:50,279
(CHEERING)
185
00:11:50,280 --> 00:11:53,159
One more! One more!
186
00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:56,842
(CHANTING) Fireball! Fireball!
Fireball! Fireball!
187
00:12:01,680 --> 00:12:04,167
ALL: Oh, shit!
188
00:12:09,640 --> 00:12:13,799
(SINGING) Our house Our
house is burning down.
189
00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:19,000
Our house, our house Our
house is burning down.
190
00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:29,559
Must've been the
electrical wiring.
191
00:12:29,560 --> 00:12:31,999
That isn't what the fire
department thinks, Stan.
192
00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:35,761
Dean Ulich, if my boys say it was
the wiring, I gotta believe them.
193
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:38,651
You know, Dean, this school
ought to be more careful.
194
00:12:38,720 --> 00:12:41,519
Dean, we got a big
game coming up
195
00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:44,679
and I don't want my boys' minds worried
about where they're gonna live.
196
00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:48,399
Well, they should've thought of that
before they burned their house down.
197
00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:51,649
Well, what's done is done. Now,
where am I gonna put my athletes?
198
00:12:51,760 --> 00:12:55,726
- How about the freshman dorm?
- What about the students living there now?
199
00:12:57,040 --> 00:12:58,241
BRAD: All right.
200
00:12:58,320 --> 00:13:01,519
Thanks to faulty wiring, we
have no place to live, right?
201
00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:03,079
- Right!
- And these freshmen...
202
00:13:03,080 --> 00:13:05,359
Freshmen are sitting
pretty in there.
203
00:13:05,360 --> 00:13:08,479
- So as of now, that dorm is ours! Right?
- Yeah!
204
00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:11,599
Any room you want! Ready? Break!
205
00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:13,689
(SCREAMING, HOLLERING)
206
00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:20,879
(SCREAMS)
207
00:13:20,880 --> 00:13:22,366
Don't come back!
208
00:13:22,640 --> 00:13:23,841
(SCREAMS)
209
00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:25,525
There's your roommate, pal!
210
00:13:29,560 --> 00:13:32,286
If everyone follows directions,
211
00:13:32,360 --> 00:13:37,361
we can manage this move with as
little inconvenience as possible.
212
00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:40,079
All right, men. I want
everybody to listen up.
213
00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:42,199
We're movin' out,
and I mean now!
214
00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:45,768
Move it! Move it! Move!
Move! Move!
215
00:13:46,920 --> 00:13:49,202
BOY: Hey, buddy! Here!
216
00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:53,568
- Get outta here!
- Yeah! Move your ass!
217
00:13:53,640 --> 00:13:55,126
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
218
00:13:56,040 --> 00:13:57,844
COACH: All right, men.
Listen up!
219
00:13:57,880 --> 00:14:01,959
I'm gonna see to it that each and
every one of you is taken care of.
220
00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:06,290
You will be provided with the best
possible food, shelter and accommodations.
221
00:14:06,920 --> 00:14:08,121
(LAUGHING)
222
00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:14,079
- We will try to provide you...
- Now, let's move it out! Move it! Move!
223
00:14:14,080 --> 00:14:17,011
- Move! Move! Move it!
- (ATHLETES JEERING)
224
00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:22,330
COACH: Move it!
225
00:14:24,440 --> 00:14:26,324
Get outta here!
226
00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:28,519
(CHANTING)
Nerds! Nerds! Nerds!
227
00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:33,328
Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds!
Nerds! Nerds! Nerds!
228
00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:38,004
(CHANTING CONTINUES)
229
00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:48,650
ULICH: I know this move has probably
been very sudden for all of you
230
00:14:48,840 --> 00:14:52,159
and you're probably all
still very disoriented.
231
00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:58,288
I do want to assure you that this move is
in no way permanent. It's only temporary.
232
00:14:58,360 --> 00:15:02,039
As you can see, we've provided
accommodations for you
233
00:15:02,040 --> 00:15:04,679
that are... That are
quite acceptable
234
00:15:04,680 --> 00:15:07,599
and I think it'll be a very nice
place for you to enjoy your studies.
235
00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:09,639
YOUNG BOY: But I don't even
want to go to college!
236
00:15:09,640 --> 00:15:13,526
Harold, you have a special gift.
You need college to develop it.
237
00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:15,799
I want to be with
people my own age.
238
00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:18,839
You will be with people your
own age when you're older.
239
00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:21,199
But you just can't drop
me off in a gymnasium.
240
00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:23,799
It's like we're
refugees from a war!
241
00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:27,199
We've got to go now, honey.
Your dad has an appointment.
242
00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:28,959
Bye, son.
243
00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:30,519
(ULICH CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY)
244
00:15:30,520 --> 00:15:34,042
It is, really very
comfortable here.
245
00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:37,047
Is there anyone here
with allergies?
246
00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:42,599
Me too. Uh, for those who
do have allergies, um...
247
00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:45,639
You can request a
foam-rubber pillow.
248
00:15:45,640 --> 00:15:49,879
Also, there's a television, uh,
for your viewing pleasure.
249
00:15:49,880 --> 00:15:53,482
It is a black-and-white television.
More good news,
250
00:15:53,760 --> 00:15:57,646
because of the...
Of the housing situation,
251
00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:01,559
we are allowing the freshman class
to join and live in fraternities.
252
00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:02,639
STUDENTS: All right!
253
00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:06,208
The fraternities will select
their new members tomorrow.
254
00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:08,046
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
255
00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:11,610
All right! Enough of this social bullshit.
Grab a cot.
256
00:16:12,040 --> 00:16:13,844
Move it or lose it!
257
00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:18,290
Go, son.
258
00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:20,081
Move!
259
00:16:21,160 --> 00:16:23,966
Move! Move! Move! Move! Move!
260
00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:29,639
(BASKETBALLS BOUNCING)
261
00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:34,482
ULICH: The Delta Kappa Gamma fraternity
has selected as its new members,
262
00:16:34,720 --> 00:16:37,605
Oliver Scott and Bill Daniels.
263
00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:43,447
For those of you, who weren't
selected by any fraternities,
264
00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:46,319
you won't be left
out in the cold.
265
00:16:46,320 --> 00:16:50,889
You can stay here in the gym
for as long as you like.
266
00:16:52,080 --> 00:16:55,011
Or at least until
basketball season.
267
00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:59,444
Please answer when I
call out your names.
268
00:17:00,480 --> 00:17:03,251
Poindexter, Arnold?
269
00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:08,642
- Latrelle, Lamar.
- Lamar Latrelle.
270
00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:14,999
- Wormser, Harold.
- Present.
271
00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:19,091
- Takashi, Toshiro.
- Here, sir.
272
00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:25,561
- Dawson, Dudley.
- Call me Booger.
273
00:17:26,120 --> 00:17:28,607
All right, Booger.
274
00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:31,239
Rakhim, Taj.
275
00:17:31,240 --> 00:17:34,879
Excuse, please. But why
do they call you Booger?
276
00:17:34,880 --> 00:17:37,401
I don't know.
277
00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:41,011
- Posquito, Lawrence.
- (THUD)
278
00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:44,719
Daniels, Paul.
279
00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:47,161
I knew nobody'd pick us, Lewis.
280
00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:51,839
Gilbert, it's probably not over yet.
There's a fraternity for us.
281
00:17:51,840 --> 00:17:54,361
- (ATHLETES CLAMORING)
- ULICH: Dooley, Edward.
282
00:18:01,238 --> 00:18:03,039
Wait a second, Lewis.
Are you sure about this?
283
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:05,527
Gilbert, yes. Come on.
284
00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:17,248
- Hi, girls.
- Are you guys looking to join a sorority?
285
00:18:17,560 --> 00:18:21,560
A sorority?
(LAUGHS) No! Guy!
286
00:18:22,120 --> 00:18:23,924
We really need some help.
287
00:18:23,960 --> 00:18:28,245
We figured pretty girls like you might
be able to suggest a fraternity.
288
00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:31,439
Well, you know, boys, choosing
the right fraternal organization
289
00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:34,359
can be one of the most important
decisions in a man's life.
290
00:18:34,360 --> 00:18:35,399
For sure.
291
00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:38,039
Guys like you have to weigh
your choices very carefully.
292
00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:39,119
Definitely.
293
00:18:39,120 --> 00:18:41,243
What frat do you think is us?
294
00:18:41,360 --> 00:18:44,962
- You guys are Alpha Betas all the way.
- Totally. For sure.
295
00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:49,599
Wait. Aren't Alpha Betas,
like, all jocks and face men?
296
00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:54,679
Yes. But you guys have got that certain
something I know they'd be interested in.
297
00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:56,439
I'm gonna call them and
tell them you're coming.
298
00:18:56,440 --> 00:18:58,642
Should we ask for a
particular Alpha Beta?
299
00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:01,926
- Stan Gable.
- And you're?
300
00:19:02,360 --> 00:19:04,085
Betty Childs.
301
00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:07,519
Thank you, Betty.
Uh, Miss Childs.
302
00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:10,999
Maybe if you're not busy sometime, we
could have a cup of coffee or something.
303
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:13,567
- Oh.
- Come on, pal.
304
00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:17,285
GILBERT: I can't believe
you asked her out.
305
00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:22,199
You know, Gilbert, if we get in,
maybe we can have our old room back.
306
00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:25,799
- These guys are never gonna accept us.
- Why wouldn't they?
307
00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:30,244
These are the Alpha Betas!
They're the football players.
308
00:19:30,760 --> 00:19:34,119
Gilbert, I really don't think Miss
Childs would have sent us over here
309
00:19:34,120 --> 00:19:36,679
if she didn't think we had
a chance of getting in.
310
00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:37,881
(KNOCKS)
311
00:19:38,520 --> 00:19:39,721
(CREAKING)
312
00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:42,010
- Yes?
- Hi.
313
00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:45,888
Tell Stan Gable that we're the
guys that Betty Childs sent over.
314
00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:49,361
Follow me, boys.
315
00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:54,808
Gilbert.
316
00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:24,639
(IN UNISON)
Welcome.
317
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:26,365
- Hi.
- Hi.
318
00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:30,405
(WHISPERING)
Hey.
319
00:20:32,120 --> 00:20:35,403
You guys seem pretty cool.
Take these for later.
320
00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:41,319
Rubbers? What do we
need rubbers for?
321
00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:42,931
(SHEEP BLEATS)
322
00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:48,848
BRAD: Let the initiation begin.
323
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:51,723
BRAD: (ECHOING) Have you
ever made love to a woman?
324
00:20:52,520 --> 00:20:54,529
- Yes. No.
- No. Yes.
325
00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:58,479
Liars!
326
00:20:58,480 --> 00:20:59,559
(VIOLIN SQUEAKING)
327
00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:01,399
WOMAN: (ON TV) All right, girls.
Let's go for the burn.
328
00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:04,239
Let's get skinny! And one!
And two!
329
00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:06,319
And three! And four!
330
00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:08,879
And one! And two! And three!
331
00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:12,399
- Okay, Takashi, what do you got?
- Oh, I think I have a "frush."
332
00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:15,519
- What the fuck is a frush?
- A "frush."
333
00:21:15,520 --> 00:21:17,919
Oh, see, I got two sevens, and
two sevens beats a frush.
334
00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:19,485
Oh, thank you.
335
00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:24,039
One, two, three, four!
336
00:21:24,040 --> 00:21:29,121
One, two, three, four! Come on, girls!
Fat is your enemy!
337
00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:31,204
Hold those arms out straight!
338
00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:34,771
- Oh.
- Jesus.
339
00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:38,766
(VIOLIN SCRAPES)
340
00:21:40,040 --> 00:21:42,559
Smile, girls!
You're gonna be beautiful!
341
00:21:42,560 --> 00:21:45,331
One! And two! And three!
And four!
342
00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:51,410
So, getting into a fraternity can be the
most important thing in a man's life, huh?
343
00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:54,610
You know, that cheerleader
set us up, Lewis.
344
00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:58,602
I really don't think Betty Childs
is that kind of person, Gilbert.
345
00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:05,600
- Hey, Lewis.
- What is it, Gilbert?
346
00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:09,248
I'm really sorry that
I snapped at you.
347
00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:11,279
This gym's really gettin' to me.
348
00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:16,008
It's okay. I understand. Tomorrow morning,
we'll find a better place to live, okay?
349
00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:21,841
- Good night, Gilbert.
- Good night, Lewis.
350
00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:24,759
- WORMSER: Good night, Lamar.
- LAMAR: Good night, Wormser.
351
00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:28,639
- POINDEXTER: Night, Takashi.
- TAKASHI: Good night, Poindexter.
352
00:22:28,640 --> 00:22:31,127
- Night, Booger.
- (BOOGER BELCHES)
353
00:22:32,120 --> 00:22:33,685
(BOYS LAUGHING)
354
00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:37,001
(TYPING)
355
00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:39,930
(THUDDING)
356
00:22:45,960 --> 00:22:48,319
Hey, take it easy.
357
00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:50,119
The computer's your friend.
358
00:22:50,120 --> 00:22:52,639
I wasn't meant to
interface with a machine.
359
00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:55,411
Well, you're just beginning.
Relax.
360
00:22:56,280 --> 00:22:57,799
It's no use.
361
00:22:57,800 --> 00:23:00,439
- It's inhuman.
- Oh, it's not inhuman.
362
00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:03,159
Only humans can be inhuman.
363
00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:04,725
Here. Lemme show you.
364
00:23:09,840 --> 00:23:12,639
Working with a computer's great.
365
00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:15,684
- I mean, it's, uh, godlike in a way.
- (GIGGLES)
366
00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:18,850
'Cause you can have
complete control.
367
00:23:19,120 --> 00:23:21,004
- (BEEPING)
- (CHUCKLES)
368
00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:23,607
- That's good.
- Thanks.
369
00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:29,639
You know, some people, they
can create with their hands.
370
00:23:29,640 --> 00:23:34,164
But when you're working with a computer,
you gotta build something with your mind.
371
00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:39,119
If you're good, you can do somethin'
no one's ever seen before.
372
00:23:39,120 --> 00:23:40,321
(BEEPING)
373
00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:42,930
It's a definite high.
374
00:23:47,440 --> 00:23:48,641
(CHUCKLES)
375
00:23:50,480 --> 00:23:54,479
- Uh, what's your name?
- Judy.
376
00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:56,199
Hi, Judy. Gilbert.
377
00:23:56,200 --> 00:23:59,768
- Very nice to meet you.
- Nice meeting you.
378
00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:03,279
- Joe, what are you doing here?
- Hiya, boys.
379
00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:04,891
(BASKETBALLS BOUNCING)
380
00:24:06,080 --> 00:24:08,442
- Hello, Lewis.
- Hi, Gilbert.
381
00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:10,879
Did you find a house?
382
00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:14,163
No. I met a girl.
383
00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:17,039
Gilbert.
384
00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:20,599
- Her name's Judy.
- Judy's a nice name, Gilbert.
385
00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:24,486
- Yeah. She's a nice girl.
- Big deal. Did you get in her pants?
386
00:24:24,640 --> 00:24:28,401
- She's not that kind of a girl, Booger.
- Why? Does she have a penis?
387
00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:34,850
You gonna eat this?
388
00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:39,851
(WATER RUNNING)
389
00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:43,719
- Smell this one, nerd.
- Hey, Coach, Coach,
390
00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:47,129
I got to find a place to live.
Is okay I leave early?
391
00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:48,761
No.
392
00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:51,081
Oh, okay.
393
00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:53,919
- You know karate?
- Oh, no.
394
00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:56,600
Good.
395
00:24:58,840 --> 00:25:02,123
LEWIS: Okay, I programmed him with
all the rental units in the area.
396
00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:03,479
To achieve optimum efficiency,
397
00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:06,159
I've assigned each of you a
different part of the list.
398
00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:09,921
This'll prevent doubling up, and we'll
be able to blanket the area in no time.
399
00:25:10,760 --> 00:25:12,962
Booger.
400
00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:15,762
Wormser.
401
00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:18,410
Toshiro.
402
00:25:24,840 --> 00:25:26,530
(SPEAKING JAPANESE)
403
00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:30,610
(SPEAKING JAPANESE)
404
00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:32,881
Nerd.
405
00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:46,722
- Hi.
- Hi.
406
00:25:47,040 --> 00:25:49,846
- Mr. Wilson?
- Yeah.
407
00:25:52,080 --> 00:25:53,645
Just checking.
408
00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:56,843
WOMAN: Hi, there, big boy.
409
00:25:57,040 --> 00:26:00,847
Hi. I came about
the room for rent.
410
00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:05,410
It's right next to mine.
It'll be perfect for us.
411
00:26:08,440 --> 00:26:10,085
(DOORBELL BUZZES)
412
00:26:12,560 --> 00:26:14,250
Who's there?
413
00:26:14,680 --> 00:26:16,239
- I...
- What do you want?
414
00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:17,999
- Is this the Stewart residence?
- Why are you here?
415
00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:21,409
- I've come about the room.
- What do you want? Go... Go away!
416
00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:24,919
- I... I... Do you have a room to rent?
- Not for rent.
417
00:26:24,920 --> 00:26:27,361
- I thought it was for rent.
- Fuck off.
418
00:26:35,280 --> 00:26:37,439
- Hi, Judy.
- Hi, Gilbert!
419
00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:39,039
- How are you?
- I'm fine.
420
00:26:39,040 --> 00:26:40,159
- Good.
- Where you goin'?
421
00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:42,359
I gotta go find a place to live.
422
00:26:42,360 --> 00:26:44,839
Oh, that's horrible, you guys
having to live in the gym.
423
00:26:44,840 --> 00:26:46,371
Oh, yeah, well...
424
00:26:47,520 --> 00:26:50,599
- What is that? Is that yours?
- Oh, it's my accordion.
425
00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:52,679
- The... You play the accordion?
- Yeah!
426
00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:54,359
- You know, I love the accordion.
- Really?
427
00:26:54,360 --> 00:26:56,562
Yeah. Are you very good, or...
428
00:26:57,080 --> 00:26:58,799
- No, not really.
- Oh.
429
00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:01,759
I'm on my way to accordion class now.
Wanna walk with me?
430
00:27:01,760 --> 00:27:04,531
Yeah, sure. Oh, no. Here.
Let me get it.
431
00:27:12,040 --> 00:27:14,607
- I think I found a house.
- (CHEERING)
432
00:27:15,480 --> 00:27:17,682
BOOGER: About fucking time!
433
00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:24,444
Isn't it fantastic?
434
00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:30,484
(POP SONG PLAYING)
435
00:27:50,640 --> 00:27:51,966
Welcome.
436
00:28:10,720 --> 00:28:14,845
- You feeling anything yet, Takashi?
- Booger, I feel nothing.
437
00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:17,328
Well, you better
have another hit.
438
00:28:28,280 --> 00:28:30,926
Look at this counter.
Could be good.
439
00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:33,361
(COUGHS)
440
00:28:40,480 --> 00:28:41,681
(SCREAMS)
441
00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:48,726
- Feeling anything now?
- Oh, no.
442
00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:54,730
I feeling nothing at all.
443
00:28:55,440 --> 00:28:57,165
How about now?
444
00:29:23,560 --> 00:29:24,759
(POP SONG FADES)
445
00:29:24,760 --> 00:29:27,804
I can't believe what they've
done to that house.
446
00:29:28,240 --> 00:29:29,851
That's amazing.
447
00:29:30,680 --> 00:29:33,079
- Looks terrific, doesn't it, Stan?
- STAN: Yeah.
448
00:29:33,080 --> 00:29:35,408
Well, it won't look
terrific for long.
449
00:29:36,520 --> 00:29:38,882
What are you looking at, nerd?
Huh?
450
00:29:41,520 --> 00:29:45,725
I thought I was looking at my mother's
old douche bag, but that's in Ohio.
451
00:29:47,040 --> 00:29:50,279
Seven, and eight, and
stretch those arms.
452
00:29:50,280 --> 00:29:53,679
(TALKING IN RHYTHM) Come on, looks great.
Come on, Wormser.
453
00:29:53,680 --> 00:29:56,645
Count one. Keep it up. Two...
454
00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:01,199
- Good morning, Poindexter.
- (GRUNTS)
455
00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:02,925
- Good morning.
- Okay.
456
00:30:04,120 --> 00:30:06,322
(GRUNTS)
Excuse me.
457
00:30:10,560 --> 00:30:12,799
Oh, thank you very much.
458
00:30:12,800 --> 00:30:14,001
(BEEPS)
459
00:30:15,920 --> 00:30:19,599
- Okay, Takashi, show me your cards.
- Okay. Two and four kings.
460
00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:22,399
- That's good, yes? Oh.
- No. No, you got too many kings.
461
00:30:22,400 --> 00:30:23,959
- You gotta get rid of these.
- Oh.
462
00:30:23,960 --> 00:30:29,239
I'll take three of these kings out, and
we'll replace them with three fresh cards.
463
00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:32,119
Oh. Okay. Thank you.
464
00:30:32,120 --> 00:30:34,322
Okay, when do I deal?
465
00:30:34,520 --> 00:30:36,079
BOOGER: You gotta
win a hand first.
466
00:30:36,080 --> 00:30:39,039
I told you we'd find
a better place.
467
00:30:39,040 --> 00:30:42,244
Yeah. This is way
better than the dorm.
468
00:30:43,080 --> 00:30:44,441
(GLASS SHATTERS)
469
00:30:44,680 --> 00:30:46,370
(MOTORCYCLE SPEEDING AWAY)
470
00:30:52,440 --> 00:30:54,642
It says, "Nerds, get out."
471
00:30:55,360 --> 00:30:57,119
What is a nerd?
472
00:30:57,120 --> 00:30:58,810
We are.
473
00:31:00,520 --> 00:31:04,566
I don't know what this world is comin' to.
See that man over there?
474
00:31:04,960 --> 00:31:06,730
We arrested him for mopery.
475
00:31:07,760 --> 00:31:09,086
What's mopery?
476
00:31:09,120 --> 00:31:12,130
Mopery is exposing yourself
to a blind person.
477
00:31:14,680 --> 00:31:16,799
I'm sorry about your
windows, fellas.
478
00:31:16,800 --> 00:31:20,800
It's out of my jurisdiction.
Sounds like a fraternity prank.
479
00:31:21,080 --> 00:31:23,279
There's only one organization
that can handle this.
480
00:31:23,280 --> 00:31:24,845
What organization is that?
481
00:31:27,280 --> 00:31:28,481
The Greek Council.
482
00:31:29,280 --> 00:31:33,007
Our next order of
business, new membership.
483
00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:36,331
Earl, show the
petitioners in, please.
484
00:31:43,120 --> 00:31:44,606
GIRL: Oh, my God.
485
00:31:45,480 --> 00:31:47,170
(SNICKERING)
486
00:31:49,160 --> 00:31:50,725
(SHUSHING)
487
00:31:53,880 --> 00:31:55,445
Kneel, gentlemen.
488
00:32:02,800 --> 00:32:05,731
You are the gentlemen who
wish to form a fraternity?
489
00:32:06,160 --> 00:32:08,010
ALL: Yes, sir.
490
00:32:13,560 --> 00:32:16,319
Well, gentlemen, as president
of the Greek Council,
491
00:32:16,320 --> 00:32:19,888
I'm sorry to inform you that
your membership has been denied.
492
00:32:19,920 --> 00:32:22,248
Excuse me, but, uh, why?
493
00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:26,759
Well, according to our charter, you must
have a national fraternity as your sponsor.
494
00:32:26,760 --> 00:32:29,361
- Do you have one?
- ALL: No.
495
00:32:31,760 --> 00:32:33,159
Well, I'm afraid he's right.
496
00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:35,999
But all we have to do is get a
national sponsor, and we're in, right?
497
00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:41,119
Right, right. So I guess we'll see
you in about, say, uh, 20 years.
498
00:32:41,120 --> 00:32:42,321
(LAUGHING)
499
00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:46,490
(VIOLIN SQUEAKING)
500
00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:53,762
"Dear sirs, thank you for
applying to Delta Kappa Gamma."
501
00:32:54,240 --> 00:32:59,239
"We've gone over your application,
and it wasn't even close."
502
00:32:59,240 --> 00:33:03,079
"In the future, we recommend that
you not include a group photo."
503
00:33:03,080 --> 00:33:05,719
That's 29 rejections so far.
504
00:33:05,720 --> 00:33:08,719
Did we send pictures
to everybody?
505
00:33:08,720 --> 00:33:13,319
Yeah, everybody except for,
uh, Lambda Lambda Lambda.
506
00:33:13,320 --> 00:33:14,965
Here's one that will see us!
507
00:33:16,080 --> 00:33:17,770
IN UNISON: Lambda Lambda Lambda?
508
00:33:17,920 --> 00:33:20,441
Yeah. They're gonna love us.
509
00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:28,919
As you know, we have no
chapter at Adams College,
510
00:33:28,920 --> 00:33:31,122
which is why we
agreed to see you.
511
00:33:31,520 --> 00:33:33,119
But I must tell you, gentlemen,
512
00:33:33,120 --> 00:33:37,644
you have very little chance
of becoming Tri-Lambs.
513
00:33:38,120 --> 00:33:41,005
I'm in a difficult
situation here.
514
00:33:41,400 --> 00:33:43,839
I mean, after all,
515
00:33:43,840 --> 00:33:46,327
you're nerds.
516
00:33:47,560 --> 00:33:49,519
According to your by-laws,
517
00:33:49,520 --> 00:33:52,929
you have to take us on
a 60-day trial basis.
518
00:33:53,400 --> 00:33:56,559
- I beg your pardon?
- According to your by-law...
519
00:33:56,560 --> 00:33:58,039
He's right, U.N.
520
00:33:58,040 --> 00:34:02,006
Any group that petitions can become
a probationary Tri-Lamb chapter.
521
00:34:02,720 --> 00:34:04,001
May I see that, please?
522
00:34:06,360 --> 00:34:08,961
(SIGHS)
Thank you.
523
00:34:15,280 --> 00:34:19,639
Well, gentlemen, you are now
probationary Tri-Lambs.
524
00:34:19,640 --> 00:34:21,842
- (MURMURING)
- Hey, great, U.N.
525
00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:25,239
Why don't we have a party? You can
come down and celebrate with us
526
00:34:25,240 --> 00:34:27,999
and observe us to make sure
we're Tri-Lamb material, okay?
527
00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:29,079
Great.
528
00:34:29,080 --> 00:34:30,399
We won't let you down either.
529
00:34:30,400 --> 00:34:33,524
I bet we'll have the highest grade point
average of any chapter you've got.
530
00:34:34,240 --> 00:34:36,319
And we certainly
won't discriminate.
531
00:34:36,320 --> 00:34:40,199
I mean, our chapter will be open
to people of all races and creeds.
532
00:34:40,200 --> 00:34:42,368
And sexual orientation.
533
00:34:44,320 --> 00:34:45,851
Wonderful.
534
00:34:46,840 --> 00:34:48,963
- (GIRLS LAUGHING)
- (DOORBELL RINGS)
535
00:34:53,960 --> 00:34:56,999
- Hi. Remember me?
- No.
536
00:34:57,000 --> 00:35:00,727
Well, we're having a party Saturday night.
Would you like to come?
537
00:35:01,520 --> 00:35:03,768
- No.
- Oh. Well...
538
00:35:07,040 --> 00:35:09,919
Come on! Get it up! Get it up!
Come on! You're shit!
539
00:35:09,920 --> 00:35:12,399
You're nothin'! You're scum!
You suck!
540
00:35:12,400 --> 00:35:15,639
- You're nice!
- No, I'm not! (GRUNTS)
541
00:35:15,640 --> 00:35:17,479
- That a way, Og.
- Stan. Hi.
542
00:35:17,480 --> 00:35:20,439
- What's up, Betty? Somethin' wrong?
- Yeah.
543
00:35:20,440 --> 00:35:22,927
- What?
- One of those nerds just asked me out.
544
00:35:23,840 --> 00:35:25,039
(CHUCKLES)
Which one?
545
00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:27,919
- I don't know. They all look alike to me.
- Yeah.
546
00:35:27,920 --> 00:35:30,679
They're trying to throw a party,
and they can't get any dates.
547
00:35:30,680 --> 00:35:33,451
- Yeah?
- (GROWLS) I'll eat their ancestors!
548
00:35:33,560 --> 00:35:36,719
- I'll kill their parents! I'll kill...
- No, Ogre! Ogre!
549
00:35:36,720 --> 00:35:39,082
Don't worry about it. Wait a second.
Just wait a second.
550
00:35:42,080 --> 00:35:44,879
- Maybe we could help them out.
- Yeah?
551
00:35:44,880 --> 00:35:49,399
Yeah. And I know
just what to do.
552
00:35:49,400 --> 00:35:51,090
Come here.
553
00:35:55,480 --> 00:35:59,439
We'll put the bar over here, and
the hors d'oeuvres over there.
554
00:35:59,440 --> 00:36:02,079
And we'll pass the rumaki
and the cheese puffs.
555
00:36:02,080 --> 00:36:05,599
- That sounds expensive.
- Arnold, this party's important.
556
00:36:05,600 --> 00:36:07,759
If we don't impress the
Tri-Lambs, we'll never get in.
557
00:36:07,760 --> 00:36:10,479
Maybe we can have
"robster craws."
558
00:36:10,480 --> 00:36:12,679
What the fuck are robster craws?
559
00:36:12,680 --> 00:36:15,079
Have any of you guys got
dates besides Gilbert?
560
00:36:15,080 --> 00:36:17,647
- I do.
- Yeah, but that's with a guy.
561
00:36:18,160 --> 00:36:19,599
What about you, Booger?
562
00:36:19,600 --> 00:36:22,041
I been out combin' the
high schools all day.
563
00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:24,804
Maybe we should
cancel the party.
564
00:36:25,160 --> 00:36:29,519
No, we can't cancel the party. U.N.
Jefferson's coming. We got to impress him.
565
00:36:29,520 --> 00:36:31,882
We'll never find dates.
566
00:36:32,320 --> 00:36:36,319
(SINGING) Hello,
Lambda We're the Pi's.
567
00:36:36,320 --> 00:36:40,002
And we're here to say.
568
00:36:40,200 --> 00:36:43,599
We think you are special guys.
569
00:36:43,600 --> 00:36:47,009
Lambdas all the way.
570
00:36:47,080 --> 00:36:50,399
Alpha Betas are okay.
571
00:36:50,400 --> 00:36:53,001
If you like sweat socks.
572
00:36:53,200 --> 00:36:56,959
We prefer your high I.Q.'s.
573
00:36:56,960 --> 00:37:00,130
To their great big jocks.
574
00:37:00,280 --> 00:37:04,199
Lambda Lambda Lambda boys.
575
00:37:04,200 --> 00:37:07,483
Really are the best.
576
00:37:07,640 --> 00:37:11,319
Won't you take a piece of Pi.
577
00:37:11,320 --> 00:37:15,399
And we'll do the rest.
578
00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:20,199
The sisters of Pi welcome our newest
fraternity, Lambda Lambda Lambda.
579
00:37:20,200 --> 00:37:22,880
We'd like to be escorts to
your party Saturday night
580
00:37:22,881 --> 00:37:26,004
and help out in
any way possible.
581
00:37:26,680 --> 00:37:28,211
(HUMMING)
582
00:37:30,160 --> 00:37:33,839
- We got dates!
- I never been out with a girl before.
583
00:37:33,840 --> 00:37:37,039
Not just a girl,
Poindexter, but a Pi.
584
00:37:37,040 --> 00:37:39,799
- What's Pi stand for?
- Hair pie.
585
00:37:39,800 --> 00:37:41,126
What's that?
586
00:37:45,920 --> 00:37:47,121
Oh.
587
00:37:48,440 --> 00:37:50,165
(POP SONG PLAYING)
588
00:37:57,200 --> 00:37:59,519
- Lewis, where are the Pi's?
- I don't know.
589
00:37:59,520 --> 00:38:02,007
Their phone's been
busy for two hours.
590
00:38:02,560 --> 00:38:05,959
I don't think U.N.'s
having a very good time.
591
00:38:05,960 --> 00:38:08,731
Must be the music. I'll put on
something he'll like better.
592
00:38:12,360 --> 00:38:13,719
- Lewis.
- U.N.?
593
00:38:13,720 --> 00:38:14,839
(RECORD SCRATCHES)
594
00:38:14,840 --> 00:38:17,088
- Great party.
- Thanks.
595
00:38:17,640 --> 00:38:20,810
Where are those good-lookin' sorority
girls you're supposed to have dates with?
596
00:38:20,920 --> 00:38:24,841
You know women. They're probably
just being fashionably late.
597
00:38:24,960 --> 00:38:26,969
(PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)
598
00:38:28,440 --> 00:38:33,885
(SINGING) Swing
low, sweet chariot
599
00:38:33,920 --> 00:38:35,565
(RECORD SCRATCHES)
600
00:38:37,240 --> 00:38:40,239
- I don't think the Pi's are gonna show.
- They stood us up, huh?
601
00:38:40,240 --> 00:38:42,879
- Yeah.
- I could call my sorority sisters.
602
00:38:42,880 --> 00:38:45,079
- You could?
- You think they'll come right over?
603
00:38:45,080 --> 00:38:48,759
They're really spontaneous people.
I'll call 'em.
604
00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:50,759
- (POP SONG RESUMES)
- Crush this ice for me, will you?
605
00:38:50,760 --> 00:38:54,119
- (LAUGHS) Hey, guys, we got dates.
- Who?
606
00:38:54,120 --> 00:38:58,039
- Judy's gonna invite the Omega Mu's over.
- Oh, no. Not the Mu's!
607
00:38:58,040 --> 00:39:00,686
- Yeah.
- They're a bunch of pigs.
608
00:39:00,840 --> 00:39:03,042
- (SCREAMING)
- (BLENDER GRINDING)
609
00:39:05,080 --> 00:39:06,645
(DOORBELL RINGS)
610
00:39:08,640 --> 00:39:10,126
(POP SONG ENDS)
611
00:39:17,760 --> 00:39:19,325
- Hi.
- Hi.
612
00:39:25,400 --> 00:39:27,807
- Hi there.
- Hi there.
613
00:39:30,120 --> 00:39:32,322
- Hi.
- Hi.
614
00:39:37,280 --> 00:39:38,925
(ROCK SONG PLAYING)
615
00:40:08,440 --> 00:40:10,369
(VIOLIN SQUEAKING)
616
00:40:25,440 --> 00:40:28,239
JUDY: You can all sing along.
The words are really easy.
617
00:40:28,240 --> 00:40:32,047
So I say I gotta be free. So I say I got...
I gotta be me.
618
00:40:32,240 --> 00:40:37,401
- (SINGING) So I say I gotta be free.
- Free.
619
00:40:38,080 --> 00:40:42,410
- So I say I gotta be me.
- Me.
620
00:40:43,040 --> 00:40:44,571
I'm saying...
621
00:40:45,520 --> 00:40:48,883
I'm saying you gotta be...
622
00:40:57,040 --> 00:40:59,163
GILBERT: This party isn't
going very well, is it?
623
00:40:59,640 --> 00:41:01,922
I don't know why
everybody's so uptight.
624
00:41:02,480 --> 00:41:05,650
Me either. Maybe we should eat.
625
00:41:05,840 --> 00:41:08,407
Maybe we should watch TV.
626
00:41:08,440 --> 00:41:10,961
Hey, guys.
627
00:41:12,400 --> 00:41:14,523
Wonder joints.
628
00:41:15,240 --> 00:41:16,885
(POP SONG PLAYING)
629
00:41:25,400 --> 00:41:27,284
(CHATTERING, HOOTING)
630
00:41:35,360 --> 00:41:37,961
They taste better
than they look.
631
00:41:39,120 --> 00:41:40,919
Oh, goody!
632
00:41:40,920 --> 00:41:43,159
Oh, smile pretty, chickies.
633
00:41:43,160 --> 00:41:45,639
Oh, thank you very much.
Thank you, thank you.
634
00:41:45,640 --> 00:41:48,127
Hair pie. Hair pie.
635
00:41:49,040 --> 00:41:50,401
(BUBBLING)
636
00:41:52,600 --> 00:41:54,006
(LAUGHING)
637
00:41:58,560 --> 00:42:00,205
Nothing. Nothing.
638
00:42:02,560 --> 00:42:04,330
- Ah!
- (GIGGLES)
639
00:42:07,120 --> 00:42:09,129
(LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY)
640
00:42:11,280 --> 00:42:13,599
And I have a micon data link
641
00:42:13,600 --> 00:42:16,041
which hooks this phone to
the computer in the robot.
642
00:42:24,440 --> 00:42:27,689
Hey, this is some good shit.
643
00:42:30,000 --> 00:42:32,519
Hair pie? Thank you.
644
00:42:32,520 --> 00:42:34,245
Oh, hair pie?
645
00:42:34,480 --> 00:42:36,759
- You built this yourself?
- Yeah.
646
00:42:36,760 --> 00:42:39,964
- I think robots are sexy.
- (LAUGHS)
647
00:42:40,600 --> 00:42:43,119
I do too, really.
648
00:42:43,120 --> 00:42:46,369
- Do you wanna dance?
- Okay.
649
00:42:46,840 --> 00:42:48,724
(POP SONG CONTINUES)
650
00:43:37,800 --> 00:43:41,243
Damn! You Mu's sure can party!
651
00:43:52,880 --> 00:43:54,719
- Come on. Let's go.
- Where?
652
00:43:54,720 --> 00:43:56,959
- Up to your room.
- You wanna go up to my room?
653
00:43:56,960 --> 00:43:58,161
Yeah.
654
00:43:58,440 --> 00:43:59,559
(SONG FADES)
655
00:43:59,560 --> 00:44:02,999
- Are you nearsighted or farsighted?
- Nearsighted.
656
00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:05,239
- So am I.
- Really?
657
00:44:05,240 --> 00:44:08,250
Yeah. You wanna switch glasses?
658
00:44:12,560 --> 00:44:14,999
Gilbert, we almost have
the same prescription.
659
00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:19,439
Yeah. Listen, um, would
you like to dance?
660
00:44:19,440 --> 00:44:20,641
Yeah.
661
00:44:21,800 --> 00:44:23,959
Yeah, well, uh, when I
was in high school,
662
00:44:23,960 --> 00:44:26,970
I was thinking mostly of
the, uh, aerospace field.
663
00:44:27,120 --> 00:44:30,039
But when I got into college, I
decided that I wanted something
664
00:44:30,040 --> 00:44:31,839
a little more challenging.
665
00:44:31,840 --> 00:44:34,646
So, um, I switched to computers.
666
00:44:35,000 --> 00:44:38,443
And, uh, now aerodynamics
is just sort of a hobby.
667
00:44:44,320 --> 00:44:45,806
(BALLAD PLAYING)
668
00:45:03,040 --> 00:45:06,119
Wait, wait. No, no, wait.
669
00:45:06,120 --> 00:45:11,167
Would you rather live in the ascendancy
of a civilization or during its decline?
670
00:45:11,200 --> 00:45:15,450
Poindexter, do you
wanna fuck or not?
671
00:45:16,240 --> 00:45:18,124
- (GROWLS)
- (SCREAMS)
672
00:45:38,960 --> 00:45:41,719
You know, if, uh, we get
into Lambda Lambda Lambda
673
00:45:41,720 --> 00:45:43,839
we could be your partners
in the homecoming carnival.
674
00:45:43,840 --> 00:45:46,168
I know. That'd be so great.
675
00:45:46,480 --> 00:45:48,284
Yeah. This party sure
worked out well.
676
00:45:49,160 --> 00:45:50,646
(SNORTING)
677
00:45:53,440 --> 00:45:54,971
(SCREAMING)
678
00:45:58,280 --> 00:46:00,209
Get 'em out of here!
679
00:46:03,640 --> 00:46:05,205
(SCREAMING CONTINUES)
680
00:46:06,400 --> 00:46:07,931
(SQUEALING)
681
00:46:12,640 --> 00:46:17,641
(SINGING) Old MacDonald
had a farm E-I-E-I-O.
682
00:46:18,440 --> 00:46:23,039
And on that farm he had some pigs.
E-I-E-I-O.
683
00:46:23,040 --> 00:46:26,919
We thought you could use some
more pigs for your party, nerds.
684
00:46:26,920 --> 00:46:30,039
With an oink, oink here
and an oink, oink there.
685
00:46:30,040 --> 00:46:33,039
Here an oink, there an oink
Everywhere an oink, oink.
686
00:46:33,040 --> 00:46:38,121
Old MacDonald had
a farm E-I-E-I-O.
687
00:46:42,040 --> 00:46:44,925
- Fuck you!
- Fucking-A!
688
00:46:47,240 --> 00:46:49,090
Fuck you!
689
00:46:50,480 --> 00:46:53,524
We'll never get into
Lambda Lambda Lambda now.
690
00:46:54,120 --> 00:46:56,721
Yeah, those jocks
ruined everything.
691
00:46:57,160 --> 00:46:59,840
I say we blow their
fucking houses up.
692
00:47:00,320 --> 00:47:03,079
No, we can't resort to violence.
693
00:47:03,080 --> 00:47:05,439
That'll just bring us
down to their level.
694
00:47:05,440 --> 00:47:09,565
- What do we do?
- We got to beat 'em at their own game.
695
00:47:10,680 --> 00:47:13,611
We've got to become the
best fraternity on campus.
696
00:47:13,760 --> 00:47:17,919
You know, if we win that
homecoming carnival,
697
00:47:17,920 --> 00:47:20,799
we can take over the presidency
of the Greek Council.
698
00:47:20,800 --> 00:47:22,650
That would drive 'em crazy.
699
00:47:23,880 --> 00:47:24,959
But, Gilbert,
700
00:47:24,960 --> 00:47:28,562
if we don't get approved by the
Tri-Lambs, we won't even be a fraternity.
701
00:47:29,440 --> 00:47:32,962
- I say we blow the fuckers up.
- No, we can't do that.
702
00:47:33,280 --> 00:47:36,450
But you're right.
Their action tonight
703
00:47:37,440 --> 00:47:40,564
demands an immediate
retaliation.
704
00:47:42,160 --> 00:47:46,331
And if we don't, we're nothing
but the nerds they say we are.
705
00:47:48,560 --> 00:47:51,570
I know what we're gonna do.
706
00:48:00,360 --> 00:48:02,722
LEWIS: (WHISPERING) Down!
Down! Down!
707
00:48:05,600 --> 00:48:07,165
Come on!
708
00:48:32,440 --> 00:48:33,641
(GRUNTS)
709
00:48:47,680 --> 00:48:49,999
(SINGING)
E-I-E-I-O.
710
00:48:50,000 --> 00:48:52,159
With an oink, oink here
And an oink, oink there.
711
00:48:52,160 --> 00:48:54,408
Here an oink Everywhere
an oink, oink
712
00:48:56,160 --> 00:48:58,681
- (WHISPERING) Where?
- Right there.
713
00:48:59,880 --> 00:49:03,880
- Isn't this gonna make a lot of noise?
- It's got a built-in silencer.
714
00:49:04,760 --> 00:49:06,246
(QUIET BUZZING)
715
00:49:21,200 --> 00:49:23,767
Camera. The periscope.
716
00:49:30,320 --> 00:49:32,887
- Hey, Suzy.
- Hi, Betty.
717
00:49:33,000 --> 00:49:34,319
God, that was fun tonight.
718
00:49:34,320 --> 00:49:36,759
- We were the highlight of their party.
- I know.
719
00:49:36,760 --> 00:49:39,879
- God, those pigs sure were greasy, too.
- I have to get the smell off.
720
00:49:39,880 --> 00:49:41,399
- Oh, I know.
- (GROANS)
721
00:49:41,400 --> 00:49:43,919
Listen, if Stan calls, tell
him I'll call him back, okay?
722
00:49:43,920 --> 00:49:45,167
Okay.
723
00:49:49,240 --> 00:49:50,679
- (GASPS)
- Panty raid!
724
00:49:50,680 --> 00:49:53,201
- (SCREAMS)
- (LAUGHING)
725
00:49:55,400 --> 00:49:56,719
It's a panty raid!
726
00:49:56,720 --> 00:49:58,445
Panty raid!
727
00:50:05,040 --> 00:50:06,679
- (BOTH SCREAM)
- Hey!
728
00:50:06,680 --> 00:50:09,079
What are you...
What are you doing?
729
00:50:09,080 --> 00:50:12,284
Give me those back!
Come here! Hey!
730
00:50:12,760 --> 00:50:14,959
Wormser, how many cameras
do we have left?
731
00:50:14,960 --> 00:50:17,288
- Four.
- Okay.
732
00:50:17,520 --> 00:50:19,449
(SCREAMING CONTINUES)
733
00:50:20,800 --> 00:50:22,759
Step aside, mama. I wanna
see some of that muff.
734
00:50:22,760 --> 00:50:24,639
Hair pie. Hair pie!
735
00:50:24,640 --> 00:50:25,841
(GROWLING)
736
00:50:33,880 --> 00:50:36,839
That nerd saw me naked!
Oh! Get out!
737
00:50:36,840 --> 00:50:39,168
Out! Out! Out! Get out!
738
00:50:39,840 --> 00:50:41,839
- Hiya, buddy.
- Hi!
739
00:50:41,840 --> 00:50:44,399
- Isn't college great?
- This is going to be a great year.
740
00:50:44,400 --> 00:50:45,726
(LAUGHING)
741
00:50:48,000 --> 00:50:49,850
(GIRLS SCREAMING)
742
00:50:55,800 --> 00:50:57,650
Get out of here!
743
00:50:59,080 --> 00:51:01,362
Hair pie! Hair pie!
744
00:51:03,120 --> 00:51:05,159
BETTY: Stan's gonna kill you!
745
00:51:05,160 --> 00:51:06,725
Get out! Jerks!
746
00:51:07,120 --> 00:51:09,679
(SCREAMS)
Ooh!
747
00:51:09,680 --> 00:51:11,370
We love you when you're mad!
748
00:51:12,560 --> 00:51:14,285
(EXASPERATED SIGH)
749
00:51:14,400 --> 00:51:16,887
- Almost there, Wormser?
- This should do it.
750
00:51:19,440 --> 00:51:20,519
Oh.
751
00:51:20,520 --> 00:51:21,721
- Ah.
- Good.
752
00:51:23,480 --> 00:51:24,999
That looks good, Lamar.
753
00:51:25,000 --> 00:51:27,202
This is a stationary camera.
754
00:51:27,320 --> 00:51:29,279
- We've got Pi's.
- WORMSER: Mmm.
755
00:51:29,280 --> 00:51:30,839
GILBERT: You got
other angles, Lamar?
756
00:51:30,840 --> 00:51:33,486
- Go to their room.
- BOOGER: Yeah, go in their room.
757
00:51:33,520 --> 00:51:36,371
- POINDEXTER: Yeah. Perfect. Good.
- (POINTING)
758
00:51:36,880 --> 00:51:39,924
- GILBERT: Arnold, that's her.
- Go to the right.
759
00:51:40,560 --> 00:51:42,888
Arnold, that's the girl we saw.
760
00:51:44,120 --> 00:51:46,519
- LEWIS: Go up. Go up. Go up.
- LAMAR: Up?
761
00:51:46,520 --> 00:51:48,799
LEWIS: Wait a second.
Hold it right there, Lamar.
762
00:51:48,800 --> 00:51:50,319
Don't move the camera.
763
00:51:50,320 --> 00:51:51,885
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
764
00:51:52,880 --> 00:51:54,081
Yeah!
765
00:51:55,440 --> 00:51:56,641
TAKASHI: Oh, no.
766
00:51:57,040 --> 00:51:58,890
I drink to that.
767
00:52:01,120 --> 00:52:03,687
BOOGER: Yes.
I like that nightie.
768
00:52:04,439 --> 00:52:06,879
- TAKASHI: That's very good.
- LEWIS: Can you go in that room?
769
00:52:06,880 --> 00:52:08,411
- Okay.
- (BEEPING)
770
00:52:08,840 --> 00:52:10,405
- (GIGGLING)
- (CHUCKLING)
771
00:52:11,960 --> 00:52:13,764
TAKASHI: Here she comes.
772
00:52:15,040 --> 00:52:17,399
God, take your
towel off, please.
773
00:52:17,400 --> 00:52:18,879
Come on. Remove it.
There's somethin' comin' up.
774
00:52:18,880 --> 00:52:22,527
Yes! Is it cold
in there or what?
775
00:52:23,800 --> 00:52:25,001
(LAUGHS)
776
00:52:26,600 --> 00:52:28,131
GILBERT: Nature's thermometers.
777
00:52:28,440 --> 00:52:29,641
(LAUGHING)
778
00:52:31,080 --> 00:52:34,199
- LEWIS: Focus! Focus it, Lamar.
- TAKASHI: Focus!
779
00:52:34,200 --> 00:52:36,448
LAMAR: Just kidding.
780
00:52:38,920 --> 00:52:42,090
This is bullshit. I want bush.
Pan down.
781
00:52:42,280 --> 00:52:43,481
(WHIRRING)
782
00:52:43,960 --> 00:52:45,759
(WHISTLING, EXCLAIMING)
783
00:52:45,760 --> 00:52:48,361
We've got bush. We've got bush!
784
00:52:49,240 --> 00:52:50,441
Hair pie!
785
00:52:50,840 --> 00:52:52,041
(LAUGHING)
786
00:52:53,800 --> 00:52:55,001
(SCREAMS)
787
00:53:00,360 --> 00:53:01,721
(ROOSTER CROWS)
788
00:53:04,200 --> 00:53:05,401
(SNORING)
789
00:53:08,600 --> 00:53:10,882
LEWIS: I'm tired of watching
'em brush their teeth.
790
00:53:11,080 --> 00:53:13,886
See if Betty's up.
Dooley, throw me a beer.
791
00:53:14,160 --> 00:53:15,361
Thanks.
792
00:53:17,080 --> 00:53:20,039
Oh, I getting tired of Betty.
793
00:53:20,040 --> 00:53:22,242
Are you kidding? Zoom in.
794
00:53:23,880 --> 00:53:26,039
I could never get
tired of Betty.
795
00:53:26,040 --> 00:53:28,639
How could you ever get tired
of that ass, Takashi?
796
00:53:28,640 --> 00:53:31,320
Oh, I see your point.
797
00:53:34,000 --> 00:53:36,199
Are you guys still
watching the Pi's?
798
00:53:36,200 --> 00:53:38,846
- ALL: Yes.
- Have you been up all night?
799
00:53:38,880 --> 00:53:40,399
ALL: Yes.
800
00:53:40,400 --> 00:53:44,650
- Wormser, haven't you had enough?
- No.
801
00:53:45,360 --> 00:53:47,688
LEWIS: Well, I think we
got even with the Pi's.
802
00:53:48,240 --> 00:53:51,922
Now we got a little score to
settle with the Alpha Betas.
803
00:53:53,000 --> 00:53:54,201
(LAUGHS)
804
00:53:58,000 --> 00:53:59,599
Shit, Hank, What is that stuff?
805
00:53:59,600 --> 00:54:02,479
- Liquid heat.
- It burns.
806
00:54:02,480 --> 00:54:06,571
You oughta feel it when I don't
mix it with water. (CHUCKLES)
807
00:54:12,120 --> 00:54:13,526
Get them!
808
00:54:16,120 --> 00:54:17,845
Make pile here.
809
00:54:20,280 --> 00:54:21,970
Hurry.
810
00:54:24,600 --> 00:54:26,839
Okay. Here goes.
811
00:54:26,840 --> 00:54:27,959
(GROANS)
812
00:54:27,960 --> 00:54:29,679
BOOGER: Go for it.
813
00:54:29,680 --> 00:54:32,008
Okay, don't... Don't touch now.
814
00:54:32,440 --> 00:54:34,679
- Okay. Okay.
- Here. Hit this one.
815
00:54:34,680 --> 00:54:36,962
Looks like salad.
816
00:54:38,920 --> 00:54:41,248
The key to each
season is homecoming.
817
00:54:42,520 --> 00:54:45,803
You win that one, you got
your alumni support.
818
00:54:46,480 --> 00:54:49,968
You got your alumni support,
you got that jock dorm,
819
00:54:50,040 --> 00:54:53,483
you get the laundry money,
you get the new cars.
820
00:54:53,920 --> 00:54:58,045
Now, this season started out fine.
We won some big ball games!
821
00:54:59,040 --> 00:55:00,446
But we were lucky.
822
00:55:01,440 --> 00:55:03,079
We can't get soft.
823
00:55:03,080 --> 00:55:05,282
We can't sit back
on our laurels.
824
00:55:05,560 --> 00:55:08,719
We win homecoming,
we take league.
825
00:55:08,720 --> 00:55:11,839
We take league, we
get a bowl bid.
826
00:55:11,840 --> 00:55:14,281
- It's as simple as that.
- (ALL GROANING)
827
00:55:14,400 --> 00:55:17,922
But, gentlemen, you
have got to want it.
828
00:55:18,680 --> 00:55:19,759
Do you want it?
829
00:55:19,760 --> 00:55:22,239
- ALL: Yeah!
- I can't hear you!
830
00:55:22,240 --> 00:55:23,639
- ALL: Yeah!
- (SHRIEKS) Yes!
831
00:55:23,640 --> 00:55:26,199
We can't let up!
We gotta stay tough.
832
00:55:26,200 --> 00:55:27,279
(GROANING INTENSIFIES)
833
00:55:27,280 --> 00:55:29,399
You can do it! You can do it!
834
00:55:29,400 --> 00:55:31,602
- You can do it!
- God!
835
00:55:32,080 --> 00:55:35,204
You gotta believe
that you can do it!
836
00:55:35,320 --> 00:55:36,399
(SCREAMING)
837
00:55:36,400 --> 00:55:39,919
- You gotta let them know that you want it!
- I want it!
838
00:55:39,920 --> 00:55:41,919
- Good!
- (GROANS)
839
00:55:41,920 --> 00:55:44,441
- Shower up!
- Oh, God.
840
00:55:47,600 --> 00:55:50,007
Shit, we forgot to practice.
841
00:55:51,760 --> 00:55:53,200
You put what?
842
00:55:53,440 --> 00:55:54,641
LEWIS: Liquid heat.
843
00:55:55,080 --> 00:55:58,124
- On their what?
- In their jocks.
844
00:55:58,280 --> 00:56:01,439
- That's outrageous.
- Are you angry, U.N.?
845
00:56:01,440 --> 00:56:04,962
(LAUGHS)
No! I'm not angry.
846
00:56:05,960 --> 00:56:09,879
I'm glad to see you...
You guys finally fought back.
847
00:56:09,880 --> 00:56:13,879
I think you'll make a fine addition to Tri
Lambda, and I wanna welcome you aboard.
848
00:56:13,880 --> 00:56:16,359
- Congratulations.
- All right!
849
00:56:16,360 --> 00:56:19,689
- You'll tell the guys?
- I will! (LAUGHING)
850
00:56:20,520 --> 00:56:21,719
(CHUCKLES)
851
00:56:21,720 --> 00:56:23,843
Okay, everybody ready?
852
00:56:24,120 --> 00:56:27,847
Okay, I focus now. I set timer.
853
00:56:28,760 --> 00:56:30,799
Now say, "Hi, U.N."
854
00:56:30,800 --> 00:56:32,240
Hi, U.N.!
855
00:56:32,280 --> 00:56:33,766
(SHUTTER CLICKS)
856
00:56:36,640 --> 00:56:40,322
Well, I'd like to propose a toast to U.N.
Jefferson,
857
00:56:41,040 --> 00:56:42,844
who, in his ultimate wisdom,
858
00:56:43,120 --> 00:56:45,561
chose to accept us
859
00:56:45,640 --> 00:56:49,003
into our new fraternity,
Lambda Lambda Lambda.
860
00:56:49,040 --> 00:56:52,210
ALL: Lambda Lambda Lambda!
861
00:57:01,000 --> 00:57:03,319
Before we take this
matter to a vote,
862
00:57:03,320 --> 00:57:07,047
I would like it clearly stated
in the record, Miss Childs,
863
00:57:07,680 --> 00:57:12,442
that the evidence is overwhelmingly
against the Alpha Betas
864
00:57:12,680 --> 00:57:15,406
and I urge that they
be found guilty.
865
00:57:15,760 --> 00:57:17,325
Point of order.
866
00:57:18,880 --> 00:57:22,926
Dean Ulich, I am an Alpha Beta,
867
00:57:22,960 --> 00:57:25,639
and I know that no
member of my fraternity
868
00:57:25,640 --> 00:57:29,519
could have perpetrated such
a callous, heinous act
869
00:57:29,520 --> 00:57:32,519
against the nerds
or the Tri-Lambs.
870
00:57:32,520 --> 00:57:37,248
Therefore, I feel a vote at this time
would be, shall we say, premature.
871
00:57:37,720 --> 00:57:39,763
- Premature?
- Yes.
872
00:57:39,880 --> 00:57:43,639
You see, instead, I
am going to organize
873
00:57:43,640 --> 00:57:46,959
a special, blue-ribbon
fact-finding commission
874
00:57:46,960 --> 00:57:51,085
made up of myself and,
uh, Miss Betty Childs
875
00:57:51,880 --> 00:57:54,479
and we will get to the bottom
of this dastardly deed.
876
00:57:54,480 --> 00:57:58,401
- You can't get away with this.
- Oh, no, I'm afraid I can.
877
00:57:58,760 --> 00:58:03,761
You see, only the President of the
Greek Council can call a vote.
878
00:58:03,920 --> 00:58:07,124
- That's completely unfair!
- This is bullshit!
879
00:58:07,200 --> 00:58:09,129
Meeting adjourned.
880
00:58:10,400 --> 00:58:11,601
(BURKE LAUGHS)
881
00:58:15,560 --> 00:58:19,839
Guys, we are never gonna get a fair shake
as long as Stan Gable is president.
882
00:58:19,840 --> 00:58:23,519
But the only way to become president
is to win the homecoming carnival.
883
00:58:23,520 --> 00:58:24,759
That's right, Arnold.
884
00:58:24,760 --> 00:58:27,327
- And that's exactly what we're gonna do.
- Yeah!
885
00:58:27,440 --> 00:58:30,166
(PLAYING FAN FARE)
886
00:58:31,920 --> 00:58:33,759
I take great pleasure
887
00:58:33,760 --> 00:58:38,648
in officially opening this
year's homecoming carnival!
888
00:58:39,000 --> 00:58:40,645
(FANFARE CONTINUES)
889
00:58:46,760 --> 00:58:51,439
ULICH: The overall winner will
be determined by total points
890
00:58:51,440 --> 00:58:55,039
from, number one, field events,
891
00:58:55,040 --> 00:58:58,679
number two, the charity
fund-raising booth
892
00:58:58,680 --> 00:59:02,327
and number three, the musical
show and skit competition.
893
00:59:03,720 --> 00:59:07,003
And now, let the games begin!
894
00:59:07,880 --> 00:59:09,684
(FANFARE CONTINUES)
895
00:59:11,120 --> 00:59:12,685
(CHEERING)
896
00:59:15,120 --> 00:59:16,321
(FEEDBACK)
897
00:59:16,800 --> 00:59:21,289
Okay, the object of the race is to
complete 20 laps around the track,
898
00:59:21,640 --> 00:59:24,759
while stopping every lap
for a mandatory pit stop
899
00:59:24,760 --> 00:59:27,804
at which time the driver
will chug a beer.
900
00:59:29,520 --> 00:59:31,199
You don't have a
fucking chance, nerd.
901
00:59:31,200 --> 00:59:35,166
- Thank you. Good luck to you, too, Burke.
- Fuck off.
902
00:59:35,240 --> 00:59:37,886
Gentlemen, start your engines.
903
00:59:38,240 --> 00:59:39,441
(GUNSHOT)
904
00:59:39,600 --> 00:59:41,370
(CHEERING, YELLING)
905
00:59:56,000 --> 00:59:57,531
- Come on!
- (GRUNTS)
906
00:59:58,240 --> 01:00:02,843
This is trichloromethaline. It counters
all effects of alcohol in your system.
907
01:00:04,000 --> 01:00:06,879
- Drink the whole beer.
- Go, go, go! Come on, Danny!
908
01:00:06,880 --> 01:00:09,559
- Come on, buddy! Kick his ass!
- Go, go, go, go!
909
01:00:09,560 --> 01:00:12,411
- Go, go, go, go!
- Go, go, go, go!
910
01:00:23,240 --> 01:00:25,159
- Okay, okay, come on!
- You feeling okay?
911
01:00:25,160 --> 01:00:28,091
- Oh, fucking great!
- Go, go, go!
912
01:00:33,400 --> 01:00:35,443
Come on, baby! Yeah!
913
01:00:40,040 --> 01:00:42,559
- Come on, guy!
- Only one more lap to go.
914
01:00:42,560 --> 01:00:44,250
Just you and the Alpha Betas.
915
01:00:44,320 --> 01:00:48,119
You let that nerd beat you, and
you're nothing! Understand?
916
01:00:48,120 --> 01:00:51,479
- He no stand no chance now!
- Go, Takashi!
917
01:00:51,480 --> 01:00:55,366
- Come on! Let's go, Burke! Here we go!
- Oh, no!
918
01:00:56,160 --> 01:00:58,840
All right! Come on, Takashi! Go!
919
01:00:59,000 --> 01:01:01,079
Aw, man, he's wasted!
920
01:01:01,080 --> 01:01:03,487
(BICYCLE BUILT FOR TWO PLAYING)
921
01:01:07,760 --> 01:01:11,282
Come on, Burke!
You're an Alpha Beta!
922
01:01:15,920 --> 01:01:17,079
Fuck!
923
01:01:17,080 --> 01:01:20,841
- Shit!
- I won! I won!
924
01:01:26,600 --> 01:01:30,805
Times are changin', Betty. These nerds
are a threat to our way of life.
925
01:01:30,920 --> 01:01:34,169
If they win homecoming, they're
gonna take over the Greek Council.
926
01:01:34,200 --> 01:01:37,722
And we'll be up to our
necks in nerd shit.
927
01:01:40,120 --> 01:01:43,085
ULICH: Our next competition
will be the Trojan Horse.
928
01:01:47,000 --> 01:01:48,929
- (CHEERING)
- (GROANING)
929
01:01:49,240 --> 01:01:52,079
Come on! Come on! Get off!
930
01:01:52,080 --> 01:01:54,408
Get off!
931
01:01:54,800 --> 01:01:55,919
- (GROANS)
- Yeah!
932
01:01:55,920 --> 01:01:58,282
(MOUTHING) What is
Alpha Beta doing?
933
01:01:58,480 --> 01:01:59,681
(LAUGHING)
934
01:02:11,560 --> 01:02:13,524
- All right!
- (CHEERING)
935
01:02:26,120 --> 01:02:27,321
(CHEERING)
936
01:02:59,280 --> 01:03:02,479
(CHANTING) Ogre! Ogre!
Ogre! Ogre!
937
01:03:02,480 --> 01:03:05,439
- Ogre! Ogre! Ogre! Ogre!
- (GROANING)
938
01:03:05,440 --> 01:03:09,919
Ogre! Ogre! Ogre! Ogre!
Ogre! Ogre!
939
01:03:09,920 --> 01:03:12,839
Ogre! Ogre! Ogre! Ogre!
940
01:03:12,840 --> 01:03:17,807
Ogre! Ogre! Ogre! Ogre!
Ogre! Ogre!
941
01:03:20,960 --> 01:03:22,161
(GROANS)
942
01:03:22,760 --> 01:03:23,961
(CHEERING)
943
01:03:28,480 --> 01:03:29,681
(COUGHING)
944
01:03:29,880 --> 01:03:32,399
- Ooh! Aah! Alpha Beta!
- On your mark! Set!
945
01:03:32,400 --> 01:03:35,604
- Ooh! Aah! Alpha Beta!
- (WHISTLE BLOWS)
946
01:03:39,120 --> 01:03:40,321
(CHEERING)
947
01:03:43,880 --> 01:03:45,081
(CHUCKLING)
948
01:03:45,800 --> 01:03:48,639
Ooh! Aah! Alpha Beta!
949
01:03:48,640 --> 01:03:51,479
- Ooh! Aah! Alpha Beta!
- COACH: On your mark!
950
01:03:51,480 --> 01:03:54,445
- Set! (BLOWS WHISTLE)
- Ooh! Aah! Alpha Beta!
951
01:03:54,840 --> 01:03:56,804
(CHEERLEADERS SCREAMING)
952
01:03:58,120 --> 01:04:00,163
You win!
953
01:04:01,160 --> 01:04:02,646
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
954
01:04:06,080 --> 01:04:07,281
(CHUCKLING)
955
01:04:14,880 --> 01:04:17,479
Frankly, I'm not too wild
about this next event,
956
01:04:17,480 --> 01:04:21,810
but it has become a tradition here
at Adams, the belching contest.
957
01:04:22,120 --> 01:04:23,321
(CHEERING)
958
01:04:23,760 --> 01:04:27,328
Our first of two finalists, Frederick W.
Polowosky.
959
01:04:28,440 --> 01:04:29,641
(WHISPERING)
960
01:04:30,080 --> 01:04:32,487
- "Ogre, you asshole."
- (CROWD MURMURING)
961
01:04:33,040 --> 01:04:34,287
Ogre.
962
01:04:39,800 --> 01:04:41,240
(LOUD BURP)
963
01:04:42,960 --> 01:04:44,525
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
964
01:04:48,640 --> 01:04:50,604
(GASPING, MURMURING)
965
01:04:56,160 --> 01:05:00,126
And from the Lambda-Mu
team, Dudley Dawson.
966
01:05:00,760 --> 01:05:03,042
- Booger.
- Booger.
967
01:05:10,480 --> 01:05:12,045
(VERY LOUD BURP)
968
01:05:17,280 --> 01:05:18,845
(LOUD CHEERING)
969
01:05:28,120 --> 01:05:32,759
Our next event is one that goes all the
way back to the Peloponnesian War,
970
01:05:32,760 --> 01:05:34,007
the javelin throw.
971
01:05:49,880 --> 01:05:51,081
(YELLS)
972
01:06:05,120 --> 01:06:06,401
Yeah!
973
01:06:11,200 --> 01:06:14,609
- All right, baby!
- What'd you expect?
974
01:06:21,920 --> 01:06:24,771
- GILBERT: Wait till you see Lamar's throw.
- JUDY: How come?
975
01:06:24,880 --> 01:06:26,719
Wormser's a master
at aerodynamics
976
01:06:26,720 --> 01:06:31,289
and he designed the javelin to go along
with Lamar's limp-wristed throwing style.
977
01:07:00,520 --> 01:07:02,919
- Wormser! It worked!
- (CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
978
01:07:02,920 --> 01:07:05,487
I can't believe it!
Did you see that?
979
01:07:12,480 --> 01:07:15,479
I love you all! I love you all!
Thank you!
980
01:07:15,480 --> 01:07:18,047
Thank you!
981
01:07:21,480 --> 01:07:23,842
ULICH: (ON P.A.) The Alpha
Beta-Pi team leads.
982
01:07:24,080 --> 01:07:26,719
The Lambda-Mus are a
surprising second.
983
01:07:26,720 --> 01:07:30,163
Now let's see what happens at the
charity fund-raising booths.
984
01:07:30,440 --> 01:07:33,479
Eat a pie for charity!
Come on! Let's go!
985
01:07:33,480 --> 01:07:36,809
Buy a pie for charity!
Thank you.
986
01:07:40,480 --> 01:07:42,091
Take a break, Chip.
987
01:07:45,880 --> 01:07:48,003
Hi.
988
01:07:49,560 --> 01:07:52,286
- Hi, Betty.
- A nerd.
989
01:07:53,560 --> 01:07:56,366
- I'm not kissing a nerd.
- You have to.
990
01:07:57,000 --> 01:07:58,725
I paid my money.
991
01:07:58,840 --> 01:08:01,441
(CHUCKLES) It's
time for my break.
992
01:08:03,480 --> 01:08:05,284
Kiss this, nerd.
993
01:08:06,440 --> 01:08:08,563
- BETTY: Stan!
- Yeah?
994
01:08:11,000 --> 01:08:14,359
I wanna do it. All this
kissing's made me horny.
995
01:08:14,360 --> 01:08:17,404
God, Betty, you're like a goat.
996
01:08:17,720 --> 01:08:18,921
(HUFFS)
997
01:08:21,600 --> 01:08:22,847
Next.
998
01:08:52,480 --> 01:08:53,761
Stan!
999
01:08:57,560 --> 01:08:59,091
You changed your mind.
1000
01:09:02,280 --> 01:09:04,767
I'm glad. Come on.
1001
01:09:21,200 --> 01:09:22,765
Hey, you.
1002
01:09:25,680 --> 01:09:28,360
You wanna do it on the moon?
1003
01:09:47,480 --> 01:09:49,682
Take off your mask.
1004
01:09:50,200 --> 01:09:51,640
Oh, Stan.
1005
01:09:52,600 --> 01:09:55,167
You're so kinky.
1006
01:09:59,840 --> 01:10:02,599
BOOGER: Eat a pie for charity.
Step right up.
1007
01:10:02,600 --> 01:10:04,439
Come on. Step up.
1008
01:10:04,440 --> 01:10:09,521
- Eat a pie for charity. Thank you very much.
- Eat a pie for charity!
1009
01:10:09,800 --> 01:10:11,159
Gable, how we doin'?
1010
01:10:11,160 --> 01:10:16,759
- Great, 1,258 bucks. Better than last year.
- The nerds are over 2,000.
1011
01:10:16,760 --> 01:10:18,799
- Yep.
- For selling pies?
1012
01:10:18,800 --> 01:10:22,482
They've got a line around the corner.
Guys are buying two, three pies apiece.
1013
01:10:22,600 --> 01:10:26,168
There's something fishy about these pies.
Let's go check it out.
1014
01:10:27,480 --> 01:10:29,250
TAKASHI: Okay, hold
on for a second.
1015
01:10:30,040 --> 01:10:32,925
- Thank you.
- BOOGER: Pies for charity.
1016
01:10:33,560 --> 01:10:35,524
- Pies for charity.
- GABLE: This can't be!
1017
01:10:35,600 --> 01:10:39,282
Ogre, go get a pie. Find out
what the hell's going on here.
1018
01:10:42,520 --> 01:10:45,530
Thanks, wimp. Get yourself one.
1019
01:10:48,120 --> 01:10:50,079
- Well, how is it?
- Good.
1020
01:10:50,080 --> 01:10:52,203
- Is it good, or is it great?
- It's good.
1021
01:10:52,718 --> 01:10:55,359
Just good? Then what the hell are
they selling so many of them for?
1022
01:10:55,360 --> 01:10:58,086
Here's why. Uh-oh.
1023
01:11:04,000 --> 01:11:05,486
That's my Pi.
1024
01:11:14,200 --> 01:11:16,050
Oh, Stan.
1025
01:11:16,840 --> 01:11:18,405
That was wonderful.
1026
01:11:19,320 --> 01:11:22,091
You did things to me
you've never done before.
1027
01:11:22,680 --> 01:11:23,881
(GASPS)
1028
01:11:24,200 --> 01:11:25,970
You're that nerd!
1029
01:11:26,040 --> 01:11:27,366
Yeah.
1030
01:11:28,560 --> 01:11:30,762
God, you were wonderful.
1031
01:11:30,880 --> 01:11:32,127
Thanks.
1032
01:11:33,880 --> 01:11:36,719
(GIGGLES) Are all
nerds as good as you?
1033
01:11:36,720 --> 01:11:39,959
- Yes.
- How come?
1034
01:11:39,960 --> 01:11:43,050
'Cause all jocks think
about is sports.
1035
01:11:43,560 --> 01:11:46,081
All we ever think about is sex.
1036
01:11:47,880 --> 01:11:50,162
- What's your name?
- Lewis.
1037
01:11:50,800 --> 01:11:52,206
Lewis,
1038
01:11:53,560 --> 01:11:57,048
would you meet me after
the pep rally tonight?
1039
01:11:57,160 --> 01:11:58,441
Sure.
1040
01:12:03,400 --> 01:12:05,079
ULICH: It's all tied up,
1041
01:12:05,080 --> 01:12:09,079
which means the musical show and skit
competition will decide the winner.
1042
01:12:09,080 --> 01:12:12,039
So, let the music begin!
1043
01:12:12,040 --> 01:12:16,319
(SINGING) Row, row, row your
boat gently down the stream.
1044
01:12:16,320 --> 01:12:18,921
Merrily, merrily
Merrily, merrily.
1045
01:12:19,760 --> 01:12:22,079
Life is but a dream
1046
01:12:22,080 --> 01:12:24,442
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING, APPLAUDING)
1047
01:12:26,799 --> 01:12:28,919
What'd the Pink Panther say
when he stepped on an ant?
1048
01:12:28,920 --> 01:12:31,599
- What did the Pink Panther say?
- Dead ant. Dead ant.
1049
01:12:31,600 --> 01:12:34,531
- Dead-ant, dead-ant dead-ant.
- (BOOING)
1050
01:12:34,919 --> 01:12:36,919
What is the dirtiest thing
ever said on television?
1051
01:12:36,920 --> 01:12:38,999
The dirtiest thing ever said on television.
I don't know.
1052
01:12:39,000 --> 01:12:42,010
"Ward, I think you were a little
hard on the Beaver last night."
1053
01:12:43,960 --> 01:12:45,161
(GROANING)
1054
01:12:45,840 --> 01:12:49,399
(SINGING) Gable, Gable, he's our man!
If he can't do it, Burke can!
1055
01:12:49,400 --> 01:12:52,959
Burke, Burke, he's our man!
If he can't do it, Ogre can!
1056
01:12:52,960 --> 01:12:56,279
- Give me an "A"!
- Give me a "D"!
1057
01:12:56,280 --> 01:12:59,959
- Give me an "A"!
- Give me an "M"!
1058
01:12:59,960 --> 01:13:02,799
- Give me an "S"!
- What's it spell?
1059
01:13:02,800 --> 01:13:05,526
Adams!
1060
01:13:06,000 --> 01:13:07,201
(CHEERING)
1061
01:13:07,320 --> 01:13:08,851
(GIRLS SINGING)
1062
01:13:34,160 --> 01:13:35,646
(LOUD CHEERING)
1063
01:13:36,720 --> 01:13:37,921
(WHISTLING)
1064
01:13:40,800 --> 01:13:42,161
- Whoa!
- (GASPING)
1065
01:13:43,200 --> 01:13:46,609
Look at that! Look at that!
1066
01:13:53,240 --> 01:13:55,488
(ELECTRONIC ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
1067
01:14:21,440 --> 01:14:22,641
(CHEERING)
1068
01:15:34,000 --> 01:15:36,487
Break!
1069
01:16:06,880 --> 01:16:08,923
(CHEERING WILDLY)
1070
01:16:29,320 --> 01:16:31,679
I'd like to present the trophy
1071
01:16:31,680 --> 01:16:33,484
to this year's champions...
1072
01:16:33,680 --> 01:16:36,963
Lambda Lambda Lambda
and Omega Mu!
1073
01:16:42,360 --> 01:16:44,719
They will be able to
select the president
1074
01:16:44,720 --> 01:16:46,888
of next year's Greek Council.
1075
01:16:48,320 --> 01:16:49,567
No!
1076
01:16:51,080 --> 01:16:53,839
I'd like to announce that we've
made our selection already.
1077
01:16:53,840 --> 01:16:55,451
It's Gilbert Lowe!
1078
01:17:00,400 --> 01:17:03,039
This sucks. I gotta get rid
of some of this anger.
1079
01:17:03,040 --> 01:17:06,959
- Come on, Betty. Let's go pump some iron.
- No, Stan. I don't think so.
1080
01:17:06,960 --> 01:17:09,561
What do you mean? Let's go.
Why not?
1081
01:17:10,760 --> 01:17:12,405
I've got a date with a Tri-Lamb.
1082
01:17:13,080 --> 01:17:14,930
(LAUGHS)
A Tri-Lamb.
1083
01:17:15,480 --> 01:17:16,761
Here's your pin.
1084
01:17:18,480 --> 01:17:19,886
Take it.
1085
01:17:20,640 --> 01:17:23,650
Wait. Betty. Come on.
1086
01:17:25,520 --> 01:17:28,451
God! I'm in love with a nerd!
(CHUCKLING)
1087
01:17:29,880 --> 01:17:32,048
- Gable.
- Yeah, Coach?
1088
01:17:33,120 --> 01:17:38,201
I wanna see you and the other
girls in the locker room now!
1089
01:17:39,160 --> 01:17:40,441
Yes, sir.
1090
01:17:45,120 --> 01:17:46,890
(COACH CLEARS THROAT)
1091
01:17:47,920 --> 01:17:51,090
When you were a
baby in your crib,
1092
01:17:51,760 --> 01:17:54,008
your father looked down at you,
1093
01:17:54,080 --> 01:17:55,441
he had but one hope,
1094
01:17:56,640 --> 01:17:59,366
someday my son will
grow to be a man.
1095
01:18:01,440 --> 01:18:03,449
Well, look at you now.
1096
01:18:05,280 --> 01:18:09,041
You just got your asses whipped
1097
01:18:09,120 --> 01:18:11,800
by a bunch of goddamn nerds.
1098
01:18:14,120 --> 01:18:15,446
Nerds!
1099
01:18:18,400 --> 01:18:20,728
If I was you, I'd do
somethin' about it.
1100
01:18:23,280 --> 01:18:26,211
I would get up and redeem myself
1101
01:18:27,440 --> 01:18:32,009
in the eyes of my father,
my maker and my coach!
1102
01:18:32,040 --> 01:18:34,679
- Well, let's get those nerds!
- Nerds!
1103
01:18:34,680 --> 01:18:37,959
- Nerds!
- What are we waitin' for?
1104
01:18:37,960 --> 01:18:39,161
(ALL YELLING)
1105
01:18:46,640 --> 01:18:49,491
IN UNISON: We're Lambda
Lambda Lambda and.
1106
01:18:49,560 --> 01:18:51,439
- Omega Mu!
- (LEWIS LAUGHING)
1107
01:18:51,440 --> 01:18:54,120
(CHANTING) Nerds! Nerds!
Nerds! Nerds!
1108
01:18:54,400 --> 01:18:55,601
(ALL YELLING)
1109
01:19:02,200 --> 01:19:05,131
- Come on! Come on!
- (GLASS SHATTERING)
1110
01:19:34,520 --> 01:19:35,767
I'm a nerd.
1111
01:19:38,040 --> 01:19:39,526
Welcome to the real world.
1112
01:19:40,680 --> 01:19:42,803
I never really wanted
to believe that.
1113
01:19:43,600 --> 01:19:46,565
- It's okay.
- It's not okay.
1114
01:19:46,680 --> 01:19:51,124
We're nothing. We let
them destroy our house.
1115
01:19:51,960 --> 01:19:54,239
Lewis, we're gonna control
the Greek Council next year.
1116
01:19:54,240 --> 01:19:55,441
Big deal!
1117
01:19:56,880 --> 01:19:58,844
You'll be dead by then, Gilbert.
1118
01:20:00,000 --> 01:20:03,727
Nobody cares. Don't you understand that?
The university doesn't care.
1119
01:20:04,400 --> 01:20:06,568
There's nothing we
can do about it.
1120
01:20:07,080 --> 01:20:08,759
I think we got
something good going,
1121
01:20:08,760 --> 01:20:10,919
and I'm not gonna let 'em
take it away from us.
1122
01:20:10,920 --> 01:20:12,839
Gilbert, don't be a fool.
1123
01:20:12,840 --> 01:20:14,883
You'll just get
yourself hurt again.
1124
01:20:15,160 --> 01:20:17,931
- Big deal.
- Gilbert.
1125
01:20:23,480 --> 01:20:26,331
- (CHEERING)
- (MARCHING BAND PLAYING)
1126
01:20:38,880 --> 01:20:41,759
I'd like to introduce to you the
men that are gonna bring you
1127
01:20:41,760 --> 01:20:44,804
a homecoming victory
against State tomorrow.
1128
01:20:45,280 --> 01:20:48,563
At defensive back, number
38, Kevin O'Leary.
1129
01:20:50,000 --> 01:20:53,124
Offensive guard, number
64, Rich Valeroy.
1130
01:20:55,040 --> 01:20:57,971
At center, number
53, Harry Reagan!
1131
01:21:00,440 --> 01:21:01,959
Look who's comin'.
1132
01:21:01,960 --> 01:21:04,159
- Hey! Where you goin', nerd?
- Just leave me alone.
1133
01:21:04,160 --> 01:21:06,879
You guys went way too far this time,
and you're not getting away with it.
1134
01:21:06,880 --> 01:21:08,719
- Oh, is that right?
- Yeah.
1135
01:21:08,720 --> 01:21:11,519
Well, let's see if shit floats.
What do you think of that idea?
1136
01:21:11,520 --> 01:21:15,042
Put me down. Goddamn...
Put me down!
1137
01:21:15,080 --> 01:21:16,520
Bombs away!
1138
01:21:18,120 --> 01:21:20,846
And now, our tri-captains.
1139
01:21:21,400 --> 01:21:23,479
Leading the conference
in reception,
1140
01:21:23,480 --> 01:21:26,843
at wide receiver,
number 84, Danny Burke!
1141
01:21:26,960 --> 01:21:31,449
Our defensive captain,
number 79, Fred Polowosky!
1142
01:21:31,640 --> 01:21:32,959
- Ogre!
- The Ogre!
1143
01:21:32,960 --> 01:21:34,079
(ROARS)
1144
01:21:34,080 --> 01:21:36,851
Now, our two-time
all-American quarterback,
1145
01:21:36,920 --> 01:21:38,999
number 10, Stan Gable!
1146
01:21:39,000 --> 01:21:40,326
Yeah!
1147
01:21:44,320 --> 01:21:47,519
- Hold it, son! Hold it! Hold it!
- Come on!
1148
01:21:47,520 --> 01:21:50,399
Leave him alone. Coach,
I said leave him alone.
1149
01:21:50,400 --> 01:21:52,199
- What did you say?
- You heard me.
1150
01:21:52,200 --> 01:21:55,199
- I'll break his goddamn neck!
- You will do nothing of the sort.
1151
01:21:55,200 --> 01:21:56,970
Don't you touch that boy.
1152
01:21:57,840 --> 01:21:59,041
(GRUNTING)
1153
01:22:01,160 --> 01:22:02,361
Says who?
1154
01:22:04,480 --> 01:22:05,806
Says me,
1155
01:22:07,320 --> 01:22:08,601
you asshole.
1156
01:22:09,480 --> 01:22:10,727
Hold it, Coach!
1157
01:22:11,840 --> 01:22:13,804
You just hold it right there.
1158
01:22:49,400 --> 01:22:50,647
Okay, kid.
1159
01:22:52,960 --> 01:22:54,207
Say what you got to say.
1160
01:22:55,680 --> 01:22:56,927
Thanks.
1161
01:23:03,560 --> 01:23:05,399
Uh...
(PANTING)
1162
01:23:05,400 --> 01:23:09,889
I just wanted to... To say that...
That I'm a nerd.
1163
01:23:10,640 --> 01:23:14,287
And I'm here tonight to stand up
for the rights of other nerds.
1164
01:23:15,120 --> 01:23:16,321
I mean, uh,
1165
01:23:16,520 --> 01:23:22,409
all our lives we've been laughed
at and made to feel inferior.
1166
01:23:22,600 --> 01:23:23,847
And tonight,
1167
01:23:25,240 --> 01:23:28,649
those bastards, they
trashed our house.
1168
01:23:29,600 --> 01:23:32,451
Why? Because we're smart?
1169
01:23:33,920 --> 01:23:35,849
'Cause we look different?
1170
01:23:36,920 --> 01:23:38,724
Well, we're not.
1171
01:23:41,160 --> 01:23:45,729
I'm a nerd, and, uh, I'm
pretty proud of it.
1172
01:23:51,800 --> 01:23:53,604
- Hi, Gilbert.
- Hi.
1173
01:23:54,480 --> 01:23:55,920
I'm a nerd, too.
1174
01:23:57,800 --> 01:23:59,923
I just found that out tonight.
1175
01:24:00,600 --> 01:24:03,280
We have news for the
beautiful people.
1176
01:24:03,400 --> 01:24:06,080
There's a lot more of us
than there are of you.
1177
01:24:07,720 --> 01:24:09,922
I know there's
alumni here tonight.
1178
01:24:10,120 --> 01:24:14,644
When you went to Adams you
might have been called a spaz
1179
01:24:15,480 --> 01:24:18,684
or a dork or a geek.
1180
01:24:19,160 --> 01:24:22,011
Any of you that have ever felt
1181
01:24:22,200 --> 01:24:26,849
stepped on, left out,
picked on, put down,
1182
01:24:27,320 --> 01:24:31,002
whether you think you're a nerd or
not, just come down and join us.
1183
01:24:31,280 --> 01:24:32,561
Come on.
1184
01:24:35,160 --> 01:24:36,850
(ROCK SONG PLAYING)
1185
01:24:39,040 --> 01:24:40,799
- Hi, Betty.
- Hi.
1186
01:24:40,800 --> 01:24:44,209
Just join us, 'cause... Hi.
1187
01:24:46,080 --> 01:24:50,080
No one's gonna be free until
nerd persecution ends.
1188
01:24:51,920 --> 01:24:53,121
(SIGHS)
1189
01:24:56,040 --> 01:24:57,287
Hi, guys.
1190
01:25:21,560 --> 01:25:24,959
You know, Coach. I think
I'm gonna let these boys
1191
01:25:24,960 --> 01:25:26,719
live over at the
Alpha Beta house
1192
01:25:26,720 --> 01:25:29,759
while you and your
boys rebuild theirs.
1193
01:25:29,760 --> 01:25:33,487
- And where the hell are we gonna live?
- Yeah. What about us, huh?
1194
01:25:34,040 --> 01:25:36,686
You're jocks.
Go live in the gym.
1195
01:25:37,680 --> 01:25:40,724
(CHANTING)
Nerds! Nerds! Nerds!
1196
01:25:40,800 --> 01:25:44,239
Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds!
1197
01:25:44,240 --> 01:25:52,609
Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds!
Nerds! Nerds! Nerds!
1198
01:25:53,000 --> 01:25:54,361
(ALL CHEERING)
1199
01:26:10,240 --> 01:26:11,441
(INAUDIBLE)
1200
01:26:22,080 --> 01:26:23,281
(INAUDIBLE)
1201
01:26:39,960 --> 01:26:41,571
(INAUDIBLE)
1202
01:26:43,400 --> 01:26:44,965
(INAUDIBLE)
1203
01:26:47,440 --> 01:26:48,641
(INAUDIBLE)
1204
01:27:12,160 --> 01:27:13,361
(INAUDIBLE)
1205
01:27:17,360 --> 01:27:18,561
(INAUDIBLE)
1206
01:27:18,661 --> 01:27:23,661
http://subscene.com/u/659433
Improved by: @Ivandrofly89669
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