Original subtitles

My friend Tyler, a year ago.

He has a perspective without job in a sleepy village in Arizona.

And we call him Hymen, because he on his 21st ...

... his penis just might be rushing through his hand.

And that is to Hymen himself. He has a sexy girlfriend for years ...

... but that keeps the door locked. Or so we thought.

Tyler, met Brit.

I prefer to do this over the phone ...

Stop. Stop. I'm going to do it now.

You're so naughty. Anyway...

I quit, Ty. You are so...

You still lives at home, you have a boring job and you do not want sex.

You want it to be something special, but I also have desires. Like sex.

I have a new friend.

You know Bill? The Car Wash King?

You know those commercials do.

The is ancient.

And you do not have to pick up my photos.

Ty Britney dumped for a rich old bag.

De Car Wash King.

Gênant.

Unbelieveable.

What is that?

Nothing uncles.

And I have suggested to my parents.

Pap?

What cop with you?

She could not pay those titties from her job at Frost & Freeze.

That's an awful lot of ice.

So like all sexy girls Britney arranged a sugar daddy.

Or two, three, four, five. Shit.

It seems that Britney finishes all seniors.

Using these oldsters have condoms? Did they really necessary?

Hymen had to bounce back ...

... and do not behave like a cat, but score a cat.

I should know because I'm his old cock.

I mean his friend Dick.

Just keep going, Tyler. You can do it, man.

In the bag.

HÃ © Tom. How are you? - Hello, Ty.

What are you asked. You had to work?

Oh, I'm fired again.

The chief architect liked my ideas «n ridiculous ...

... and when I called her a stupid bitch ...

... and I was just fired. - Yes, that really sucks.

And you? I thought you went out with Britney.

We're not going together.

I thought she was the one. - Yes, me too.

Bill, two beers.

Make it three. Ladies, looks good.

All right, guys?

You know all the girls you hate?

But once she loved me, Tyler. More than once.

Thank you, Bill. Yet to report anything exciting?

I have been fired. - Cool.

And Britney dumped Tyler. - Who says I got dumped?

That is obvious, Tyler. - You're such a sissy.

You've been a sissy long as we know you.

But enough about that relationship-shit. Look at my cock.

Why? - I went out yesterday ...

That girl from the tattoo shop. - Shayla ...

And I felt like a little experiment.

A threesome or a foursome.

And? - They drugged me.

I remember nothing more. And now my cock fucked.

What is it? - It starts with a C.

Chlamydia. That can get guys.

I do not think so.

It's worse. Then you have chonorroe. That is much worse.

That game with a G. gonorrhea.

No, with a C. - A G.

It is chonorreu, with CH. As in chaos.

Guys, it's not SOA.

I wish it were like that.

It is a tat.

A tat? - a tattoo, acorns.

Do you have a tattoo put on your dick? - I'm not stupid.

I have a tattoo on my dick, but did that girl.

But you can just see what's on it?

Here...?

Go ahead, Tom.

Let's see what our friend has to say.

Nice pants. - Can not on the toilet?

No, that's so gay. - Absolutely gay, Tyler.

Even small see Richard.

All freckles. It is not C but a G.

Wow, it nice and smooth.

Close to the trunk. - Then it appear larger.

Do you let epilation? - No, waxed.

Ingeniously say. Did you have a stiff when they did this?

I think so. - Then you have him do hard again.

Now it's like an accordion. You have to pull it briefly.

Sorry, but you do not touch me excited.

Then see if you see something that inspires it.

Jesus, so cold is not here yet.

Stout, stout, stout.

Throw it out there but.

Girls, let's go.

Ladies, you miss the show.

Free...

Geïnfecteerd.

Infected? - That's what it says.

Fuck, that's not cool.

Dude, you should see positive. Such a long word, impressive.

Is henna? Can I off?

No, it's a tattoo. - Why did you do that?

See if t is off. - You hit on my cock.

Maybe it can laser. - All kits behind the zipper?

Jeremy, what are you doing here? - Everything good?

In Aspen, what a dream.

Run your school a cheerleader?

No, I hunt cougars.

Rich, horny, old women. Guest, Aspen is studded with them.

And they only want to fuck. And they pay for.

Ill. - As long as you produce baby gravy.

Baby-jus?

You should really come. I live with a sexy cougar.

You live in with a cougar?

You can stay with her. - That would be great.

But it is already of March? The season is over anyway?

I'm going there again tonight. Just come.

Cougars. I've been here all scored, so I'm going.

I also have nothing. - Tyler? Other area?

I can not even skiing «n. I'm not going to pack up and away ...

That's Britney.

The Car Wash King. - She dumped you so.

I am going as well. We go to Aspen.

And so we went hunting.

We loaded the car of Tyler with our penises armed.

Target? As many horny cougars diversion.

Unbelievable that Tyler went along, because such a daredevil he is not.

A typical case: You get the boy or the cat ...

... but the cat out of the boy.

Tom, you do not want to spill? I'm just cleaned.

Dude, we take a road trip. - Yes, quiet, Tyler.

Sorry, I hate still Britney.

I get it all right? Would you continue?

What you waiting for? Marriage?

No, you just wait for the right one.

I respect your standards. - Thank you, Tom.

But I had Britney took all night.

I was talking filmed and sent to my mother, to brag.

See that girl? Hot blood. Little mustard on it and gnaw only.

Obviously, Tom.

Do you have her number?

What's that smell?

That taco breaks me.

Already a few miles. - Terrible.

I really shit. - Keep it in a moment.

I can not help it. You have to stop.

True, Tom? In the air? A whole row of drives behind us.

Dude, it is like this.

Keep it up. Dick, you really have to stop somewhere.

I can not stop here. - I poop my pants.

No, not in my car. - This has not happened to me for years.

Do it in this box. - What filthy.

Do it in the box. - No, Tom. Do not.

In the box.

Tyler, I have no choice. I have to shit.

What now? - If I poop, I have to pee.

I can not do anything about that.

Thank you, bro.

Firm. I thought for a moment ...

There is thin. I want a napkin.

Is it on the cover? - You get out there.

Tom, I'll kill you.

I just cleaned it. I hate you.

Welcome to Cougar Town.

Tom, get that shit on my dash.

Quiet, Ty. Once I see trash, I aim 't it.

you feel it? That energy, that style? See if you see cougars.

I see one. Dammit.

Did you see that?

Dude, I see a whole herd. - It's called a gang.

Dammit.

And there she was. As a heavenly vision.

The most perfect woman I had ever seen.

I must have her. - Driving, Dick.

Her hair was like silk.

Macarena, as if God had created.

So you dump stool here.

My God, there it is. 920 Nell.

Dammit.

Unbelievable, bro.

Visitors...

Guys, I'm a few weeks away and you can not stay here.

I knew it.

But you can do right at number 1023.

If you're looking for work, go to the Artisan.

This is a construction site.

Nice frame. It's a big renovation.

Are we really going to sleep here? - No wall is in.

It does have potential.

Guys, I really doubt. - How do you mean?

This is a band, we have no dough ...

... my car is a pigsty ...

... and we know no one here.

So you think we should go back? - Perhaps.

Sorry, but you can not. We drove an end ...

... and this is indeed not super, and we have not a penny.

But we do not give up.

Here we have a chance at a new life.

A fresh start. And chicks enough.

Let us first look at what that work.

The restaurant which Jeremy advised us was fucking perfect.

The bulging of the cougars.

And the manager was sacked just two waiters and a bartender, so ...

Welcome aboard. Pancho, these are the new busboys.

It is so busy, so go to the dressing room.

You can to the dress of the previous busboys.

But what about with holiday pay and overtime? And days?

First make the first day and see. - Yes, I get a pension.

And suddenly we were in the habitat of these magnificent creatures.

Inconspicuous thanks to our camouflage.

Miguel certainly had the clap.

This was a cougar Mecca.

Cougars everywhere. Look at that.

Should you see these sexy cougars.

This is a gold mine. Hot cougars. - What are you pathetic.

With all that experience vaginas around me, I neglected my duties.

Tyler sees young vagina, vagina looks young Tyler. Act so.

Oh no, none of it. - What?

Only cougars. Do not listen to me?

Rather not. - Water table for three.

I need to work. have fun acquainted.

You did not know. I'm Dick.

Fits you. - I know.

You renovation sounds spectacular.

Thank you, Charlie. Can I get a vodka-granberry?

Absolutely.

Tell me, how does that work with older women?

Suppose I meet a young chick, and she falls in love with me.

They want a relationship, but she still talks about her ex.

And she wants me to rub her back ...

... and just want simple delights instead of kinky sex.

Good luck, Rhonda. - Thank you, Charlie.

Rhonda...

Pardon?

Sorry, I did not bugging you ...

... but do you know which new skylights already?

With that UV glass in it? That is so cool.

Listen, I'm so proud of you.

I mean ... - It Caribou Benefit Gala?

I'm not going there.

Kathy, you are the founder. - Yes...

But Roger is also. - Roger?

He betrayed you with that slut in your own bed.

Everybody makes mistakes. - Sure, everyone makes mistakes.

See that woman over there?

As there ...

© Oka, she is a bit overripe ...

... but they have some great seats.

And pay for their own drinks.

You see 't?

I see it before me, Dick. - You see my cock?

You do, huh?

That's why I love old.

I'm here with my mates to make money.

To pay the rent. Actually, I am a broker.

I've done some houses in Arizona.

It is a difficult market. - Is that your father?

But if your timing is good, you can get lucky.

Napkins. - Napkins.

Are you doing anything? - I practice tantra.

Try it. I do it for a month.

Nice dress. - The younger the man, the better.

I'm not going to decorate young boy.

To get back that dick.

I mean...

How are you? - Awesome.

Nice to see you again. Are you sometimes a ski-boy?

They might want to ...

O, sorry.

Sorry.

You look out roaring. Does not she look good?

Not cover. It looks good on you.

I can maybe get a jacket?

Of course, I'll be back.

Do you have to do what? They seem bigger.

Tyler was really a mess.

But he made them well wet. Meanwhile, I sat on a snack.

It's just a tattoo.

One could escape. But at table 2 the hunt continues. And Hymen ...

Take a look, ma'am.

... is the prey.

Ricardo, huh? - No, my name is Tyler.

Tyler, I feel your vibe. And you know what that says?

That you should go with her to the charity evening. What do you think of that?

Nou, Ty?

Tyler, we're looking for a young thing to make her jealous ex-premier.

you see it picture? - Yes, and I feel honored, but ...

Can I speak to the manager? Excuse. Manager.

That's not necessary. I'll go. - That's very kind of you, but ...

Bring your universe in balance. - I hate your universe.

I hate your universe. - You hate my universe?

What are you doing in my universe, if you do so hate?

You get that coat back to the charity, okay ©?

© Okay, perfect. - And is that a friend of yours?

With the napkin?

Yes, he is. More or less.

Good, because I need a date.

I do not know how you have t done it, but my compliments.

Dude, I do not want to that night. - I do.

No, you bore them to death with your broker nonsense.

And Tyler needs a seesaw.

I rule myself something. - I do not need a seesaw.

Yes, you do. - Do you humping?

Yes, but it should ... - Particularly.

It's a bit pathetic. - It is not very ...

... if you immediately discharging cargo.

The vagina is a complicated body.

You seek is perfect penetration ...

... until she is shaking on the floor. More, more, Dick.

For example, a girl in love with you.

And you need a cougar to train it.

Do you understand? - Yes.

What a kutvuur.

It is getting colder.

Go away. - Where do I 'm then leave?

Not me.

Dude, do it outside. - Sorry.

Maybe I have a lactose allergy. - Have a look at it.

HÃ ©, Elmer. Are you going hunting? - Yes, chasing your mother.

Gedist. - His mother is fucking stuck.

Maybe she is your date next week.

Nice in its hollow. Here, a survival kit. Pink for you.

Get your walkie-talkie. - Cool ...

Test, test.

10-4, clear.

Tyler, you read me?

I'm just sitting next to you, bro.

Cool. OKA © look good or you see cougars.

We follow them to the top, and slide it down.

Loud and clear.

I want to show you something. How is this?

Is that for lunch? - For the cougars.

It seems like you have a huge dick.

Take one bite, honey. - Ingenious man.

Cougars. Those are cougars.

Dismissed. Girls.

Ladies, look at his salami.

Tyler could not keep from his eyes.

He fell in love with that girl from earlier.

Some guys never learn.

We have the best car.

This is an amusement park for adults. For sexy, older women.

What coordination. Are you OK?

Yes of course.

New boots.

Wait a minute. You work in the Artisan, huh? As a busboy.

You are in cougar-hunting. - No no.

They are born.

On their 40th. The hottest women I know.

But I'm not. So my friend Dick.

Tyler, here Red Leader. Get me?

Red Leader. - Pink Leader. Girls love pink.

Tyler, hier Pink Leader.

My god, I see a cameltoe.

Thank you, Dick. - Oh, you want the same thing.

No, not me. - Where is the walkie for?

On cougar hunting with a walkie-talkie? Sounds serious.

I fall not on older women. - My name is Penelope.

What's a nice seat that.

Thank you designed yourself. Look.

It is an abstract design. - Really?

There is only à © partement of.

You're an artist.

Formidastisch. - That's a ways away.

Cougars. Over there. - Well spotted.

Day, ladies.

You have some in the pants, boy.

Rhonda? It's me, Tom. The bartender.

Ladies, now he's gone, what do you think of a friendly game quartets?

I did a study arts and now I'm trying to get a job.

That is cool. I am a graphic artist.

I work in the restaurant, but first in an art dealer in Arizona.

Awesome. - That was not my ex.

Thankfully she is now your ex.

I find artful men so incredibly sexy.

I am obviously not objective, but ...

I think he is somewhere out there ...

There we dropped it.

That is very steep. Skiing «n they really from there?

If you are good. But if you do not want ...

No, I can do it. - You do not have to risk your life.

Here we go.

I see him.

HÃ © Tom. Ben, go ahead. I'll see you soon.

How are you? - Good. Sorry to interrupt.

No, he's a dick. - That I have too. A dick.

Nice outfit. - Thank you. I'm Dick.

You look sweaty.

Is that your dog? - Yes, this is Sugar.

I want to create a rescue dog from her. She's got a good nose.

Is she looking for avalanches? - No, not that. Sugar.

She sits at my worst.

But roles.

My god, Tyler.

© Everything okay with you? - Yes of course. Fine.

You're bleeding. - Really?

It's nothing. Mission accomplished.

You've found it. - Yes, he was here.

Thank you. - No thanks.

Feel like hot chocolate? I'm your guilty.

Should I turn on skis? - No, we take the elevator.

I'm still shocked that Tyler took the descent.

Just for that brill. Finally he gets balls.

And then she dumped me for an old, filthy rich.

What am I doing? Am I to talk a little about my ex.

You think I'm an idiot.

I think your friend an idiot. - Oh yeah?

What's wrong with waiting?

Are you still a virgin?

I Ã © partement had boy.

And a girl.

And a girl and a boy. Orgietje.

Just kidding.

Yo, stranger. - HÃ © boys.

You were great on the slopes. What happened to your head?

A little flesh wound. And what's wrong with you?

This? You know that program about animals that attack?

That's true. - Absolutely, bro.

You should've seen. He blew it with three super-cougars.

Tyler, it was really ill.

I? And you, tumbler?

There she is.

Who? - I?

The über-cougar. When Tom was to shit in your car.

© Okay, let's go.

I have to work, so I need the car.

And we only à © partement car.

I can give you a lift. - Really?

You are beautiful.

I have to prepare me. - What?

I have a date tonight.

A guy I met in the gondola.

With you.

Really? Super.

Tyler went two weeks with Penny for.

He did that gay things end up breaking your heart.

I mean, so gay.

The Sound of Music. Pillow Fights.

Tyler was a walking cliché ©.

If you see that you've been meaning to rip your dick off.

But while the set male for dick ...

... Tom and I did everything to conquer the Aspen cougars.

Bites the hook.

Got you.

One © one wish, what would it be?

I would want to do something rash.

take a risk.

And you?

I do not know. - Say it.

I think I want ...

I do not know.

Let's go.

you grab the towel?

After two weeks, Tyler was totally in love.

He had that special person encounters.

And finally Tyler could dip his spoon into the cream jar.

And that he liked.

Something tasty.

Does not matter.

We have the whole day and night ...

... and day and night.

So you're a cougar? I'm your prey.

Jumped me. Take me.

Abuse me. White underpants?

You scared me. - Sorry, man. Have you seen Dick?

No, but where were you? - By Penelope.

Again?

Bro, where were you today?

I let my balls resins.

Nice color.

Change clothes, bro. The cougars are our bagged.

I can not. - What? Hymen.

You already know two weeks.

I just do not want to. - Oh God.

Take Tom. - Yes, I have my own ticket.

They quit before we sit in the car.

Then I'll go alone.

Look who look ...

Oh, I must go to the printer.

Is it the young girl? - Yes.

Keep up with the youngsters.

Just go with it. Do it for me.

I want this so badly. More than anything else.

Well, I'm going. - I love you.

Would you hand out these cards for me?

Share them with cougars between 35 and 50.

Make it 60, what does it matter.

They are there, bro.

How do I look?

So we went to the Benefit Gala, with all those cougars.

Tyler's date was lamb. She drowned her sorrows ...

... because of a failed marriage.

... so that will be secreted. - How awful for you.

My cougar was not all there.

They chatted constantly about tantra method or something.

This kid is going to get it.

What do you mean?

Tom had already begun his own cougar-hunting.

Three hot chicks at the bar. That I can do.

I always say: Once a cheater, always a cheater.

Everyone makes mistakes.

Two bodies, energy ... When you put it ...

... it feels so good.

Three against à © partement. Player-face.

Hi, I'm Tom.

So you refuse tantric sex with some woman ...

... a girl that does not even ... - I'm not like you.

Well, I do.

It's pretty fun. you might have a fancy party?

We're going to go powder our noses.

Of course. - Buy you a couple apple martinis?

Of course. - We will be right back...

... for the evening of your life.

Three pendants or à © partement?

Again, I do not know.

There is a row. - Make it three.

No, it costs $ 10 more.

What thunders.

All right, boss? - No, Lucas.

Have you seen three cougars?

I ordered four martinis. - They're gone.

Would I be dumped? - I don 't sure.

Look. It looks fantastic.

Is this our table?

Mrs Kathy Hamilton.

Andrew Kater. Roger Hamilton?

Did you know that Roger is with us? - Hey, Kathy.

Roger. This is...

This is my lovely date. This is Tyler.

we sit here?

This is Skylar, my assistant.

Kathy, please ... - I hope you type better than the last.

What good that you brought an escort.

Yummy. Linda is there. Awesome.

I have to go. I'm going to show him the auction.

Keep my seat free. And I soon want a lap dance.

Do not mind her, Skylar.

We go here ...

... make cozy.

This is not what you think. I love you.

Tell that to the judge. - I do not separate at all.

It was a pleasure.

HÃ ©, Roger. My favorite lawyer.

You have to help me with that fire. She still thought it was lightning?

But now the police suspect my son Amos.

Arched windows are so old-fashioned. - bows Swaney not, Ben.

Rhonda?

You say black, I'm white. It makes me crazy.

Sorry to interrupt, but she's right.

Who is this jerk? - Rude.

Swaney? The winning architect? With brass accents?

This increases the value of your home.

Rhonda, I'm done.

Cheers, Ben. - We are finished with you, bitch.

Ladies and gentlemen, at this high altitude ...

... We start with a warm up. The Aspenites.

Oh God. I feel your chi.

Wait a second.

You can not poke my Yanni your count.

In your Yanni? - Yes, my Yanni.

Inhale.

And out.

Enter that sexual energy.

I see your aura. - Really?

Yeah, purple ...

...blue...

...yellow...

You see mine too?

Blond...

Very well. Very well. Use your chi, kid.

If so...

Let's go. - Fine.

As we do in Aspen.

Oh, my dali lama. Infected.

Red de kariboe.

Tyler cougar could not stand the presence of her husband.

And of course, Tyler took the bitch home drunk.

I had no choice but to leave.

Pas op m'n smoking.

All cocks are an increasing. She was.

Hello, all.

The Empress of the Aspen Cougars. - I've been waiting for you.

On me? Not another guest with cool hair.

I approached her cautiously. - Ursula ...

Richards. My name is Dick Richards.

Dick. Sounds good.

You can listen as well.

Thank you. - Come along inside ...

... for a nightcap.

No, I just wanted to bring you safely home.

And how are you going home? - I'll walk.

Please, now come in a moment.

All right then.

Thank you. - No thanks.

They say you should always trust your feelings.

Well, that's right.

Where are we going, beautiful?

Does it matter? - Not really.

We go to my house.

But first your pants.

Here? Now? - sometimes I stutter?

What is that...

Infected. There is infected.

VIES

You are great. - You're great.

You can wonderful dancing. - You can dance great.

Look at that.

Work Swaney. Ceilings with arches.

And brass accents. Rhonda, you're amazing.

And that's not all.

My God. - Are you ready for me?

With those pants.

What a nice underpants.

Where are you? O, there.

You have no idea how it is.

I am redeemed for an old guy ...

... with gold chains and a halter shirt.

That sucks. That sucks. - Yeah, bro.

Hartstikke sucks.

I just wanted to get back at Roger.

All those years of obligations, loyalty ...

Kath, Roger loves you.

He said so himself. I saw it in his eyes.

What nonsense.

Once you get bags ass ...

... they trade up for a new trophy, better.

My friends just want a sexy older woman like you.

I'm not sexy. - You're really sexy.

Am I sexy?

Why are you looking like that?

You look at me so intently.

What are you doing?

I'm not free sex.

What a stupid belt. - That must continue.

Kathy, what are you doing? How nice...

I love you, Tyler. I love you.

I love you too.

Wait a minute, Kathy. This is not good.

I'm still sexy? You say I'm sexy.

You're as sexy as anything. - Beautiful.

Kathy, listen well. You like Roger ...

... and he loves you. And I love...

Mam? - Penelope?

You know my daughter? - Is Penelope your daughter?

That's my daughter. - Fuck, she's my girlfriend.

We have to leave.

Where to?

Under the bed? - No, there.

Mom ... - Honey?

Hello Babe. - Have you talked to Dad?

Oh yes, definitely. - yet accomplished anything?

I think so. - What did you say?

All good things.

What is this? - That's mine.

Are you wearing men's clothes? - Totally hip.

Is there anyone? - No, it is not.

Yummy though. You're drunk and there was someone in the house.

You want to make it about Dad? - I definitely want.

Nice example. Where is he? In the bathroom?

What parents.

He's in the bathroom, huh?

Hello, Mr. marriage breaker. Open up.

You know they have to choose from. Open up.

There's nobody. - pain in the neck. Open up.

If you do not open, then I kick in the door.

Laf male.

Come on. - Open up.

What is that?

Dick Richards, massages and more.

You are kidding me.

Doe open, Dick. Doe open.

Cougar hunter. Come out.

I can not breathe. - Fuck.

Unbelieveable.

No, do not. - Shut up. Leave me alone.

Penny, please listen to me.

Please, you do not understand ... - We still want?

My wish was that my parents would come together.

What cop you doing?

Penny ... - Leave me alone.

Dick. - Sorry.

And if Tyler was alone. I felt sorry for him.

He had waited so long for that particular moment ...

... and now he was Penny lost again.

Get away from Aspen, freak.

HÃ ©, good thing. You want to head?

Not fun.

You look hot.

Lazer on, Tom.

Sorry, but step in. Otherwise freeze you.

That? - Yes, gabber.

What are you doing?

I comfort you.

Fortunately Tom was there because my shoulder was not available.

We stopped for Ursula's mansion or estate ...

... or whatever it may be.

It looked like a whole town, wrapped in à © partement house.

Yes, I had conquered the mother of all cougars.

I was no longer under the yoke of my husband's life. So possessive.

Horrible. - That's why I left him.

Are you so come to your money?

No honey.

I own white. - White?

That's a color?

Exactly.

And I have to thank my status.

Planes, houses, travel, wealth.

And a healthy desire in sex.

Like this you, Dickie? - You look beautiful out.

Beautiful. Come here.

Sniff again from here. - From coke I'm going to underperform.

It's not cocaine.

I'm going to turn your world upside down.

We had sex three times. And we have the same interests.

We spent hours talking about houses and ...

Why did you leave? - Therefore.

Why, Tom? - I'm a player, like Dick.

You're not a player. And fuck Dick.

Come on. Call your penny?

Dude, what's up?

I messed up everything.

I was more in love with Penny than I've ever been on Britney.

It was true, Tom. And now she's gone.

Maybe because they caught you with her mother.

You are kidding me.

Wow, you really love her, huh?

Yes really.

Want a tip? Do not like Dick. Try to be a player.

If you have someone that you like, you do not sneak sneak away.

Where is Dick-head?

What a fantastic experience.

So I have not felt for a long, Dickie.

I've never felt before. It was like I was floating.

Is there a link?

Undeniably, honey. When I saw you, I knew ...

I had to have you.

Fate.

This is a very long relationship.

Well, now I go to sleep. Do you think even.

Your room is number 8 left.

My room? - Up the stairs.

I thought we were good to sleep together, against each other.

Come on, Dickie. I've had just enough.

I am very tired. I'd rather sleep alone.

I get that. I am not dependent.

Tomorrow we will continue where we left off. Number 8.

I will miss you.

Tyler, dammit. I'm home at the über-cougar ...

... and they spoil me at all.

Hummers, aphrodisiacs ...

And she likes my beautiful tattoo.

That's nice, Dick ... - They still say ...

... that if you have an erection for four hours, then you should call a doctor?

Could that be true? - No idea.

And also I do not give shit. Thanks to you, Penelope hates me now.

Who? - Penelope, my friend.

Who drank tor where I needed from them was her mother.

Her mother? - Yes, Kathy Penny's mother.

She seduced me. I did not know this woman.

Ty, you are wrong.

This is your chance to play with a mother and a daughter.

Be glad I arranged someone to seduce you.

That's not it. I love Penny ... - I do not have time for this.

Maybe we should split up.

Do you want to break our friendship?

We are both so different.

You see love as something sweet with a prissy girl.

But it is more. It is a belt.

A common feeling that brings you to orgasmic heights.

I found my soulmate.

So tell me anything about love.

If you want her back, then go to her.

Until then, you do not call me.

Dick ...

After I dumped Tyler for my sugar-cougar ...

... he did something on-Tyler-like.

He picked up his ball and went to Penny's home.

Even though he knew she would burn him.

Can we talk? - I have nothing to say.

Penny, please. What you saw was not.

I should have followed my instincts. You're just such a pervert like Dick.

You fucked my mother dick. - That is not true.

Thanks to you, my parents go now definitely separated.

Leave my city.

Cougar hunting out of control.

Let me in.

Well let me explain.

The next day I was ready for the rest of my life.

All kits behind the zipper? - Yes of course.

Until I saw this strange guest. But fortunately I did not stiff anymore.

It took seven hours. It is difficult to sleep.

What's up? Mimosa? - No thanks.

Mimosa? What is that?

It was a funny thing. I had to quickly find my girlfriend.

Have you seen Ursula? - End of the corridor.

Alles kits?

Yes of course. Where is Ursula?

End of the corridor.

Alles kits?

Yes. Where is Ursula?

End of the corridor.

Something was wrong. If I had awakened from a wet dream.

Ursula was nowhere in sight. But boys everywhere.

It was like another universe.

I was dead and now Gay Heaven?

Have you seen Ursula?

Jeremy? - Alles kits?

What did Jeremy Gay in Heaven?

You're also, guest.

Good to see you.

You too. What are you doing here?

Dude, this is my cougar.

Dickie, come here.

There you are at last. And you've found your boyfriend Jeremy.

Ah, that's good.

Could you leave us alone? - Just go.

Good afternoon, lover.

Can you tell me what this is? Who are these guys?

Helpers.

A cook, golf coach, yoga teacher ...

... pilot, bongo teacher ... It's so terribly much.

You have something in your mouth.

What is that?

Nothing...

A small outbreak. Tomorrow is gone.

Do you do it with all those guys?

Not with all of them.

With that out.

I thought we had something.

That's right.

I think you're adorable.

But I also adore them. Do you understand?

No, I do not understand.

I'm not monogamous type, but here are 30 other guests ...

... with cold sores, and they look alike.

Dickie, I have no time for frills. Jeremy...

Take Dick but the rumpus room.

Kom, Dick.

What is a rumpus room?

I really wanted to do, Dickie.

But it's because you do not want to understand.

Let me see...

Want to stay who you are or among friends ...

... in a house of 40 million, at the foot of a mountain?

40 million? It appraised that?

Sorry. - It's not hard.

Why is he not hard for me?

Why is he not hard for me?

I really like. - No worries.

In Tibet they use a particular acupuncture technique.

HÃ ©, males. - All kits behind the zipper?

You like 72 hours a stiff.

Viagra which has just developed. That's not a good idea.

Ursula, do not leave me.

Do not be afraid. We are here to help you.

By which? - You are not performing well.

Erectile dysfunction. - Early discharges.

Numbness. - I did not perform badly.

My name is Dick, but I actually called Emanuel.

Dick is my nickname for a reason. - Why did you not stiff?

Ursula is a nice piece. I worry.

No need. It's because I'm stuck here.

Not so hostile. - I'm not that.

Trust me. Close your eyes and think of something nice.

On something fun.

What is that? - We go poking into his pocket.

What is that?

Stop the bus. In godesnaam. Stop.

Open up.

Lady driving. I beg you.

Close the door. Now driving. To drive.

Come back, manhoer. It does but à © partement time pain.

What do you have to experiment? - What a shit boot.

I escaped in the nick of those excruciating minis.

But it could have changed my outlook on life.

Ursula was a slave driver ...

... but she did have taught me what love was.

I thought she was the one.

But there were 30 guests, with golden shackles ...

... and then the dwarfs.

And they all had herpes.

They put needles in my pocket, and now I have 72 hours a stiff.

But Word's love with a guy who does your mother.

I would never do it with a guy that's so gay.

Were you really in love with Tyler?

Until cougar hunter fucked my mother.

Tyler is not a cougar hunter and he's not done with your mother.

I took as wingman him last night.

So it's my fault.

Captivates, it's still out. - How do you mean?

About an hour separation around. - Wait.

Leave me alone. And keep your crazy friend from our neighborhood.

Let her go.

Maffe bus driver, you can even deviate from the route?

What are you doing? - I'm leaving.

I have no business here anymore. - You're not gone.

I'm sorry I was so silly.

But I understand now what you mean. I know what it's like to be in love.

What are you wearing it?

Ursula is a deranged diva.

But that does not matter. You love Penny, and she loves you.

And have you by me all messed up and so will separate them now.

If you want to make it right, you should avoid this separation.

They do not talk to me.

Then you force them. If you love her, you force them to talk.

Before it's too late.

Run.

We will avoid a divorce.

In those clothes you do not have me come in.

Listen, great Chuck Norris. I have a bad day.

I must make amends.

I was your hand you mine?

Tasty knee, Hymen.

Assholes. - Come with me.

Now just sign here.

Ladies First.

Did you really think it helped your legs wide to make a waiter?

Nothing has happened.

Your reputation?

What about me? And my feelings then?

Halt, Etters.

Go to her. Just go.

Do not worry. I'll be fine.

I am going to win.

Sign now. - Penny, I'm so very ...

What are you doing here? - I want to say something.

There you are, brat. I throw you out.

I have to say something. - Let him talk.

I am watching you.

I know how important this family is for Penelope.

And Penelope is important to me.

And Kathy and I have not had sex at all.

I made a big mistake. But everyone makes mistakes.

I'm here to set things straight ...

... and Penny, I know you hate me, but I love you.

And now you can arrest me. - I put you there just out.

Despite all the trouble and humiliation ...

... Tyler walked away from his great love.

Not because he wanted to, but because it had to.

Back to Arizona, to the job with no future.

Nice job.

In our boring little town.

Dick ...

But with his friends.

I'm tired of cougars. They will only use us.

A new hairstyle, a new tattoo, a new Dick.

Doing good, man.

What do you think of this fish? Jumping around in your pants.

Beautiful wet? Tyler, good to have you here.

What is that?

That is a cold sore.

Did you finish the design? Is that it? - Yes...

That's exactly what I mean. Let her things but renovation.

I'd keep her nice around your soldier.

Look what a nipple.

Maybe she does this put on my cock.

Look at that.

Oh, how nice.

That is not good.

Shows the picture again.

Beautiful? - Is that a rooster?

It is ambiguous. You know him?

It works like this. Look at my cock.

Of the rooster.

Who wanted a tattoo on his dick?

Can's put your tattoos here? I came to bowl.

Who wants a tattoo? - He.

you come wasting my time? - I'm so sorry.

Allow you doing to piss on my floor? - That was someone else.

I like piss.

Pis is nice.

Thank you.

And now cleaning.

© Oka, just no bullshit.

We want to think about it, because you dare not pick to do.

She's there. You are here.

What are you doing here? - Dick told me everything.

I thought you hated me. - I wanted to ...

... but nothing happened between you and my mother ...

... and she was really drunk.

I do not want to lose you and you're such a great guy.

And as Tyler was still his girl. They went back to Aspen ...

... and they still live happily ever after.

Unbelievable, huh? Proof that true love ...

... is worth fighting for and waiting for.

Tom also found a new lifestyle.

He is regularly attached to urinate. Found he did not mind.

I've waxed.

I let my cock refurbishing.

And Francis did it as tenderly as a geisha.

He was open to all my creative input.

Can claws on my thighs?

Hopefully it's the last row will ever see my balls.

What is it, children? - What's up?

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