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1
00:00:05,872 --> 00:00:08,172
EDDIE: Easy, boy. Steady. Wait!
2
00:00:08,174 --> 00:00:11,842
Whoa! Fucking wings! What's going on?
3
00:00:11,844 --> 00:00:14,211
(CRASHING)
4
00:00:18,217 --> 00:00:21,051
Fuckin' white horse!
5
00:00:58,790 --> 00:01:03,659
(SAXOPHONE PLAYING JAZZ MUSIC)
6
00:01:28,085 --> 00:01:28,850
MAN 1: Not bad, dude.
7
00:01:28,852 --> 00:01:32,486
MAN 2: Don't give up
your day job!
8
00:01:39,294 --> 00:01:41,827
Is he Milli or Vanilli?
9
00:01:42,629 --> 00:01:44,695
You are a genius.
10
00:01:45,431 --> 00:01:47,164
Hey, Roy...
11
00:01:58,377 --> 00:02:00,777
(SAXOPHONE MUSIC CONTINUES)
12
00:02:03,214 --> 00:02:05,113
Hey, Andy!
Yo, Eddie!
13
00:02:05,115 --> 00:02:06,747
Drinks on the house!
14
00:02:06,749 --> 00:02:08,882
(BAR PATRONS CHEERING)
15
00:02:27,836 --> 00:02:31,971
Whoa! Hey, baby!
16
00:02:41,882 --> 00:02:43,781
Hollywood.
17
00:03:02,701 --> 00:03:04,500
(POLICEMAN BLOWS WHISTLE)
18
00:03:04,502 --> 00:03:07,870
I said, stop! Hold it!
19
00:03:07,872 --> 00:03:09,471
Watch it!
20
00:04:00,156 --> 00:04:02,556
Hold it! Hold it!
21
00:04:05,661 --> 00:04:08,495
Thank you.
No problemo.
22
00:04:08,830 --> 00:04:13,966
Wow. I'm in love.
You're a fox, baby.
23
00:04:13,968 --> 00:04:17,569
Not just a fox,
but the fox of foxes!
24
00:04:17,571 --> 00:04:21,172
If I was a hound dog,
you wouldn't stand a chance.
25
00:04:21,174 --> 00:04:25,075
I'd be snapping at you
day and night.
26
00:04:26,144 --> 00:04:28,144
I'm a snapper.
27
00:04:29,647 --> 00:04:31,313
Edward Dash?
28
00:04:31,315 --> 00:04:32,347
That's me.
29
00:04:32,349 --> 00:04:34,115
Take a seat.
30
00:04:34,417 --> 00:04:37,117
Well, Mr. Dash,
for your probation,
you owe us
31
00:04:37,119 --> 00:04:40,286
100 hours
of community service.
32
00:04:40,288 --> 00:04:43,422
Let's see
what we've got.
33
00:04:43,991 --> 00:04:44,789
Here's a unique
opportunity.
34
00:04:44,791 --> 00:04:48,626
The East LA Housing Facility
needs some help
with bricklaying.
35
00:04:48,628 --> 00:04:52,563
Hey, no laying bricks
or stuff like that.
36
00:04:52,565 --> 00:04:54,765
I don't do that lifting shit.
37
00:04:54,767 --> 00:04:55,999
Graffiti removal?
38
00:04:56,001 --> 00:04:56,766
You heard what I said?
39
00:04:56,768 --> 00:05:00,736
Does that preclude you
from doing
anything strenuous?
40
00:05:00,738 --> 00:05:03,405
Yes, it precludes me!
41
00:05:03,407 --> 00:05:08,076
(SIGHS) We do have a few
less strenuous activities,
42
00:05:08,078 --> 00:05:10,745
but they involve
helping the disadvantaged,
43
00:05:10,747 --> 00:05:13,080
and there are
certain requirements.
44
00:05:13,082 --> 00:05:16,750
I can have a degree here
in 24 hours, from Harvard!
45
00:05:16,752 --> 00:05:22,155
A degree isn't necessary.
It's a matter of patience
and kindness.
46
00:05:22,157 --> 00:05:25,491
What they're looking for
is a people person.
47
00:05:25,493 --> 00:05:26,124
That's me.
48
00:05:26,126 --> 00:05:29,327
Are you telling me that
you are a people person?
49
00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:32,797
That's what I'm telling you.
50
00:05:35,368 --> 00:05:36,100
Coochie-coochie.
51
00:05:36,102 --> 00:05:37,801
How would you feel
about spending time
52
00:05:37,803 --> 00:05:40,136
with a voluntary patient
from the Rivington Clinic?
53
00:05:40,138 --> 00:05:42,938
No lifting?
The Rivington
is a sanitarium.
54
00:05:42,940 --> 00:05:46,841
Your job would be to accompany
the individual to various
55
00:05:46,843 --> 00:05:49,143
"therapeutic
and cultural pursuits."
56
00:05:49,145 --> 00:05:51,178
I guess that means
taking a patient
57
00:05:51,180 --> 00:05:53,046
to the ballet
or museum or such.
58
00:05:53,048 --> 00:05:56,582
Museum? 'Cause, you know,
I know a great one of those.
59
00:05:56,584 --> 00:05:58,984
I can handle this.
60
00:05:59,052 --> 00:06:00,751
George, we've been
telling you for months
61
00:06:00,753 --> 00:06:03,453
that you're ready
to go back into the world,
62
00:06:03,455 --> 00:06:05,154
but you have to feel ready.
63
00:06:05,156 --> 00:06:07,122
Do you feel ready, George?
64
00:06:07,124 --> 00:06:08,923
I don't know.
65
00:06:08,925 --> 00:06:10,024
He is not ready!
66
00:06:10,026 --> 00:06:11,458
You're scared,
aren't you, George,
67
00:06:11,460 --> 00:06:14,294
scared some girl's going
to ask to see your mickey?
68
00:06:14,296 --> 00:06:16,462
That's enough, Brad.
You let him talk.
69
00:06:16,464 --> 00:06:17,896
No, no, that's not it.
70
00:06:17,898 --> 00:06:21,666
He's just scared of lying.
Isn't that right, Pinoc?
71
00:06:21,901 --> 00:06:26,803
(AS DUDLEY MOORE)
Then his nose starts growing.
I hate when that happens.
72
00:06:26,805 --> 00:06:32,074
Are you afraid that you might
start to lie again, George?
Is that it?
73
00:06:32,076 --> 00:06:32,474
No.
74
00:06:32,476 --> 00:06:36,144
What's a pathological liar
gonna say?
"Now I'm gonna lie"?
75
00:06:36,146 --> 00:06:38,479
George, yesterday
you couldn't wait to go.
76
00:06:38,481 --> 00:06:43,217
Do you remember what you said?
"I'm a-ready, Teddy, yo."
77
00:06:43,219 --> 00:06:45,852
What did you say yesterday?
78
00:06:45,854 --> 00:06:47,687
"I'm a-ready, Teddy, yo."
79
00:06:50,058 --> 00:06:53,159
Hit the deck! Incoming!
80
00:06:54,162 --> 00:06:56,829
Why are you afraid, George?
81
00:06:57,131 --> 00:06:58,630
Why can't I just stay here?
82
00:06:58,632 --> 00:07:00,231
Why do I have to go someplace?
I like it here.
83
00:07:00,233 --> 00:07:03,801
I feel safe here.
Why do I have to go away?
American 357 from Dallas.
84
00:07:03,803 --> 00:07:06,537
(AS DUSTIN HOFFMAN)
Yeah, definitely US Air.
Yeah, excellent airline.
85
00:07:06,539 --> 00:07:10,607
Flight 202 from Baltimore.
American. Definitely US Air.
86
00:07:10,609 --> 00:07:12,642
There's a nice young man
coming here
87
00:07:12,644 --> 00:07:16,012
to take you to find
an apartment and a job.
88
00:07:16,014 --> 00:07:19,315
Job!
You're looking forward
to that, aren't you, George?
89
00:07:19,317 --> 00:07:21,650
(ENGINE SPUTTERING)
90
00:07:21,652 --> 00:07:24,019
(BRAKES SQUEAKING)
91
00:07:25,689 --> 00:07:27,155
He's afraid
he's gonna see
his old girlfriend,
92
00:07:27,157 --> 00:07:29,924
and he won't be able
to get it up.
GEORGE: No, I'm not.
93
00:07:29,926 --> 00:07:33,327
Is that it, George?
No. Anyway, she dumped me.
94
00:07:33,329 --> 00:07:38,098
She dumped you because
you told her you were
a brain surgeon!
95
00:07:38,100 --> 00:07:38,898
I did not say that.
96
00:07:38,900 --> 00:07:40,366
What did you
tell her you were?
97
00:07:40,368 --> 00:07:41,867
A commando
in the Navy SEALs.
98
00:07:41,869 --> 00:07:43,068
(AIRPLANE APPROACHING)
99
00:07:43,070 --> 00:07:43,635
Uh-oh.
100
00:07:43,637 --> 00:07:46,704
George, why do you feel
you always had to lie to her?
101
00:07:46,706 --> 00:07:50,274
Oh, she wouldn't have looked
at me twice
102
00:07:50,276 --> 00:07:52,909
if I'd just said I was a Volvo
salesman for Horst Mueller.
103
00:07:52,911 --> 00:07:56,345
(AS PETER FALK)
Excuse me, sir. Jeez, I hate
to bother you like this.
104
00:07:56,347 --> 00:07:59,081
I know you're very busy,
what with the therapy.
105
00:07:59,083 --> 00:08:00,615
I just need
to clear something up.
106
00:08:00,617 --> 00:08:03,150
Are you saying
that you're not
the governor of California?
107
00:08:03,152 --> 00:08:08,555
Did you fellows know
he's been lying all along?
I have egg on my face.
108
00:08:19,801 --> 00:08:22,701
Hey, could... Hello?
109
00:08:22,703 --> 00:08:26,504
Hey, can you help me
find Nurse Fletcher?
110
00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:29,006
Told me the dailies were
great. I don't understand.
111
00:08:29,008 --> 00:08:30,974
They said the dailies
were great.
112
00:08:30,976 --> 00:08:32,842
I just don't understand
what happened.
113
00:08:32,844 --> 00:08:33,609
Is this your brother?
114
00:08:33,611 --> 00:08:37,145
I think this would be
a marvelous time
to extract the little present
115
00:08:37,147 --> 00:08:38,179
that we got for George.
116
00:08:38,181 --> 00:08:39,446
(AS WILLIAM SHATNER)
Very well, Mr. Spock.
117
00:08:39,448 --> 00:08:41,981
Gentlemen, set your phasers
on stun.
118
00:08:41,983 --> 00:08:42,948
(SNICKERING)
119
00:08:42,950 --> 00:08:46,885
George, on behalf
of my entire crew,
120
00:08:46,887 --> 00:08:47,886
Spock, Bones, Scotty,
121
00:08:47,888 --> 00:08:50,588
we'd like to present you
with a little gift.
122
00:08:50,590 --> 00:08:52,723
Something we picked up
on Rigel Four.
123
00:08:52,725 --> 00:08:55,859
It's our way of saying,
"Good luck out there
in the world."
124
00:08:55,861 --> 00:09:00,597
Godspeed. Show 'em
what you're made of, mister.
Live long and prosper.
125
00:09:00,599 --> 00:09:03,433
Go where no man
has gone before.
126
00:09:03,435 --> 00:09:07,136
Phil, for Christ's sake,
be yourself! I think
he gets the point.
127
00:09:07,138 --> 00:09:09,104
I was simply saying.
128
00:09:09,106 --> 00:09:09,804
I'm very touched.
129
00:09:09,806 --> 00:09:13,774
He is touched!
I must say,
I didn't expect
130
00:09:16,378 --> 00:09:17,443
a hat.
131
00:09:17,445 --> 00:09:19,511
An Honest-Abe hat.
132
00:09:19,513 --> 00:09:21,679
It's to house your mickey
after a busy day of lying.
133
00:09:21,681 --> 00:09:25,182
I know it's insulting to you,
George, but the fellows
did craft it themselves.
134
00:09:25,184 --> 00:09:29,186
(AIRPLANE PASSING OVERHEAD)
I'm not insulted by this.
Far from it.
135
00:09:29,188 --> 00:09:33,256
I'm gonna wear this hat.
I've earned it.
136
00:09:33,258 --> 00:09:39,829
I'll treasure it.
I'm not afraid anymore, Teddy.
I'm ready for my new life.
137
00:09:39,831 --> 00:09:41,430
Then say it, George.
138
00:09:41,432 --> 00:09:43,098
I'm a-ready, Teddy, yo!
139
00:09:43,100 --> 00:09:47,068
Have you ever worked
with the mentally challenged?
140
00:09:47,070 --> 00:09:49,136
My sister's a loony.
141
00:09:49,138 --> 00:09:51,771
Oh. What sort of work
do you do?
142
00:09:51,773 --> 00:09:54,440
Well, a little bit of this,
a little bit of that.
143
00:09:54,442 --> 00:09:59,578
Oh, look,
there he is with the hat.
144
00:09:59,947 --> 00:10:01,680
Can I have your Heath bars?
145
00:10:01,682 --> 00:10:05,383
Whoa, wait. Uh, I got a lot
of stuff to do, you know?
146
00:10:05,385 --> 00:10:07,451
I got places to go,
people to meet.
147
00:10:07,453 --> 00:10:09,753
You needn't worry
about George.
148
00:10:09,755 --> 00:10:12,889
He's not a lunatic. Come on.
149
00:10:15,293 --> 00:10:15,991
That must be him.
150
00:10:15,993 --> 00:10:17,492
If he starts having fits,
I'm gonna tell you,
151
00:10:17,494 --> 00:10:20,962
I'm gonna see it
from across the street 'cause
I don't want to be around it.
152
00:10:20,964 --> 00:10:24,298
Mr. Dash, I hope
you'll be patient with George.
153
00:10:24,300 --> 00:10:25,065
He looks like a nice man.
154
00:10:25,067 --> 00:10:27,267
I'll go say hello
and bring him back here.
155
00:10:27,269 --> 00:10:28,768
Okay? See you in a minute.
156
00:10:28,770 --> 00:10:29,335
Good, good.
157
00:10:29,337 --> 00:10:35,407
TIM: Bring him back here!
Eddie. Eddie, Eddie. Hi.
158
00:10:35,409 --> 00:10:39,477
Oh, playing games already,
Eddie, Eddie.
159
00:10:39,479 --> 00:10:40,811
This is Eddie, isn't it?
160
00:10:40,813 --> 00:10:42,979
George, this is Eddie Dash.
161
00:10:42,981 --> 00:10:44,981
I knew it! I knew it!
Hello, Eddie!
162
00:10:44,983 --> 00:10:46,515
(SCREAMS)
Hello, Eddie.
163
00:10:46,517 --> 00:10:49,985
Don't you kiss me no more,
man. I'm gonna kick your ass!
164
00:10:49,987 --> 00:10:53,355
Oh, he's gonna kick my ass.
165
00:10:53,890 --> 00:10:55,089
Don't do that!
You're funny.
166
00:10:55,091 --> 00:10:59,226
Come on, I want you
to meet the guys upstairs.
Don't touch me.
167
00:11:02,731 --> 00:11:05,465
Come on. come on.
168
00:11:05,633 --> 00:11:06,832
He's not a lunatic?
169
00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:09,734
Come on! Don't touch me!
You mother...
170
00:11:09,736 --> 00:11:12,536
Hi, everybody. This is Eddie,
my new best friend.
171
00:11:12,538 --> 00:11:16,606
Eddie, this is Teddy
and Phil and Tim.
172
00:11:16,608 --> 00:11:17,207
Tim!
173
00:11:17,209 --> 00:11:19,209
I appreciate it,
but we gotta go.
174
00:11:19,211 --> 00:11:21,911
My car's out front.
Come on, let's go.
175
00:11:21,913 --> 00:11:26,148
Oh, Eddie says
we have to go now,
so I better get going.
176
00:11:26,150 --> 00:11:28,283
So long, everybody.
Goodbye, nurse.
177
00:11:28,285 --> 00:11:29,017
Goodbye, George.
178
00:11:29,019 --> 00:11:31,719
If you require anything,
don't hesitate to call.
179
00:11:31,721 --> 00:11:35,322
(IMITATING
WOODY WOODPECKER LAUGHING)
Write me!
180
00:11:43,765 --> 00:11:45,698
I can't tell you
how wonderful it feels
181
00:11:45,700 --> 00:11:47,933
to be out on my own
again like this,
182
00:11:47,935 --> 00:11:50,902
not that I feel sorry
about all the time
I spent at the clinic,
183
00:11:50,904 --> 00:11:54,138
'cause, believe you me,
they did me a world of good,
184
00:11:54,140 --> 00:11:55,205
and I don't regret
any of that.
185
00:11:55,207 --> 00:11:58,074
It was wonderful.
I wish I could tell you
about that sometime,
186
00:11:58,076 --> 00:12:00,443
but just reading articles
and seeing newspapers
187
00:12:00,445 --> 00:12:04,246
and watching life
and the world
and everything on television,
188
00:12:04,248 --> 00:12:08,116
I'm just anxious
to be a part of it again.
189
00:12:08,118 --> 00:12:09,984
I understand they put basil
on everything now.
190
00:12:09,986 --> 00:12:15,856
I'm very fond of basil.
I think basil is an herb
whose time has truly come.
191
00:12:15,858 --> 00:12:17,057
I'm not letting you
talk at all.
192
00:12:17,059 --> 00:12:21,094
It just occurred to me.
I'm hogging
the whole conversation.
193
00:12:21,096 --> 00:12:24,230
I don't give you a chance
to get in there at all.
194
00:12:24,232 --> 00:12:25,231
Jabber, jabber,
jabber, jabber!
195
00:12:25,233 --> 00:12:28,334
Because I'm trying to make
a good impression on you.
Sometimes I do that.
196
00:12:28,336 --> 00:12:33,105
Whenever I want to make a good
impression, I talk and talk
and jabber, jabber, jabber.
197
00:12:33,107 --> 00:12:35,073
Shut the fuck up!
198
00:12:35,075 --> 00:12:36,107
Sorry.
199
00:12:36,109 --> 00:12:38,109
(BRAKES SQUEAKING)
200
00:12:38,744 --> 00:12:40,577
There it is.
201
00:12:41,046 --> 00:12:43,046
What?
The museum.
202
00:12:43,048 --> 00:12:44,981
Oh, Eddie,
this is gonna be fun.
203
00:12:44,983 --> 00:12:49,819
You're gonna have a good day
and take care of your life.
204
00:12:50,822 --> 00:12:51,587
Aren't you coming with me?
205
00:12:51,589 --> 00:12:56,491
Hey, I'd love to come
with you, but I got
a church-group thing.
206
00:12:56,493 --> 00:12:59,327
Eddie, you can't
just leave me here.
207
00:12:59,329 --> 00:13:02,029
Oh, please.
Eddie, I circled the want ads.
208
00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:05,399
I thought you were
gonna help me find...
Culture. There it is.
209
00:13:05,401 --> 00:13:07,901
Cultures all you want,
right there.
210
00:13:07,903 --> 00:13:10,737
(STAMMERING)
211
00:13:10,739 --> 00:13:13,239
Eddie, I haven't been
on my own for over
three and a half years.
212
00:13:13,241 --> 00:13:19,078
You're not alone.
They got everything in there
from Dolly Parton to the Pope.
213
00:13:19,480 --> 00:13:24,583
Eddie, just give me a minute
to get used to the idea, okay?
214
00:13:26,186 --> 00:13:27,718
Ready?
215
00:13:30,589 --> 00:13:33,289
No. no, I'm terrified.
216
00:13:33,291 --> 00:13:36,959
Don't be terrified.
Hey, George!
217
00:13:37,895 --> 00:13:39,227
You got any money?
218
00:13:39,229 --> 00:13:40,027
Yeah, I'm okay for money.
219
00:13:40,029 --> 00:13:43,397
Well, give me $50,
and I'll go in with you.
220
00:13:43,399 --> 00:13:44,865
Oh, sure.
221
00:13:44,867 --> 00:13:45,999
Hey, me and you.
222
00:13:46,001 --> 00:13:47,800
Oh, I don't like it
here, Eddie.
223
00:13:47,802 --> 00:13:49,201
Can we get out
of here, please?
224
00:13:49,203 --> 00:13:50,402
Did they only
give you 50 bucks?
225
00:13:50,404 --> 00:13:53,471
No, they...
Hi. How you doin'?
226
00:13:53,539 --> 00:13:55,906
(SCREAMING)
227
00:13:57,109 --> 00:13:58,942
EDDIE: George! George!
228
00:13:58,944 --> 00:14:04,213
Damn you! You see what
you did to my friend,
you big green fuck!
229
00:14:14,191 --> 00:14:14,756
Oh, gosh.
230
00:14:14,758 --> 00:14:17,525
My cigar!
You killed my cigar.
I'm so sorry.
231
00:14:17,527 --> 00:14:20,494
Here, let me...
Let me help you.
232
00:14:20,496 --> 00:14:22,395
You broke my cigar!
I'm so sorry.
233
00:14:22,397 --> 00:14:25,564
It was all my fault.
I shouldn't have been running.
234
00:14:25,566 --> 00:14:26,631
Abe!
235
00:14:26,633 --> 00:14:28,466
It's you!
236
00:14:28,468 --> 00:14:29,066
I'm not Abe.
237
00:14:29,068 --> 00:14:31,535
What do you do?
Disappear off
the face of the Earth
238
00:14:31,537 --> 00:14:33,436
and then come back
to kill me, Abe?
239
00:14:33,438 --> 00:14:35,438
No, you're mistaking me
for someone named Abe.
240
00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:37,540
Because of the hat?
No, but I'm not Abe.
241
00:14:37,542 --> 00:14:41,443
You're not Abe Fielding?
What, is this a joke?
Are you joking me?
242
00:14:41,445 --> 00:14:46,981
No, I'm not joking at all.
I think maybe you had
a bad fall, though.
243
00:14:49,685 --> 00:14:51,618
Oh, shit!
244
00:14:51,620 --> 00:14:54,120
You know, Abe,
a lot of people would say
245
00:14:54,122 --> 00:14:57,089
it is very rude
to bet thousands of dollars
246
00:14:57,091 --> 00:14:59,458
and then skip town
without a trace.
247
00:14:59,460 --> 00:15:02,027
You're making a mistake.
248
00:15:02,029 --> 00:15:04,062
Hey, I got some of it.
What is that?
249
00:15:04,064 --> 00:15:05,863
The payoff
for the bet.
What bet?
250
00:15:05,865 --> 00:15:08,131
You won the bet.
Dallas won.
No, no, no.
251
00:15:08,133 --> 00:15:11,801
I'm not Abe. Abe
won a bet from you.
Here, take it.
252
00:15:11,803 --> 00:15:12,902
I'm in the clergy.
253
00:15:12,904 --> 00:15:15,204
Oh, really? What church?
254
00:15:15,206 --> 00:15:15,804
Come on.
255
00:15:15,806 --> 00:15:18,773
You want to give it to someone
named Abe. I'm not Abe.
256
00:15:18,775 --> 00:15:20,574
Holy shit!
257
00:15:20,642 --> 00:15:21,273
That's what I thought.
258
00:15:21,275 --> 00:15:24,943
Take it. Come on.
You think it's me, but
I can't take that money.
259
00:15:24,945 --> 00:15:26,544
Abe! Abe!
260
00:15:26,546 --> 00:15:29,613
Eddie! Eddie!
This is my best friend.
He'll tell you.
261
00:15:29,615 --> 00:15:32,849
You want to know anything
about Abe, you ask me.
262
00:15:32,851 --> 00:15:34,150
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
263
00:15:34,152 --> 00:15:36,685
Abe and I are best friends.
264
00:15:36,687 --> 00:15:37,318
Not Abe Fielding.
265
00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:40,988
Big joke on me, right?
8:00, Shorefront Cafe.
266
00:15:40,990 --> 00:15:42,622
I'll have the rest
of your money.
267
00:15:42,624 --> 00:15:43,456
EDDIE: Abe will be there.
268
00:15:43,458 --> 00:15:47,259
Eddie, I think he's
making a terrible mistake.
He might have a concussion.
269
00:15:47,261 --> 00:15:49,160
I hope he has it tonight.
270
00:15:49,162 --> 00:15:50,794
Oh, gosh.
271
00:16:02,607 --> 00:16:06,575
I don't want to do this.
I don't want to do this. I
don't want to do this, Eddie.
272
00:16:06,577 --> 00:16:08,209
The guy wants
to give you money.
273
00:16:08,211 --> 00:16:10,211
No, he wants to give
Abe Fielding money.
274
00:16:10,213 --> 00:16:12,680
I'm doing all this for you.
What are you doing for me?
275
00:16:12,682 --> 00:16:16,083
Yeah, but you want me to lie.
That's the worst thing
I could possibly do.
276
00:16:16,085 --> 00:16:20,087
What good is telling
the truth all the time
if you got nothing to say?
277
00:16:20,089 --> 00:16:22,355
I have things to say.
Yeah, about basil.
278
00:16:22,357 --> 00:16:25,725
I know I'm not
the most dynamic person
in the world, but...
279
00:16:25,727 --> 00:16:27,793
My ass is more
dynamic, okay?
280
00:16:27,795 --> 00:16:29,327
(SIGHS)
281
00:16:29,996 --> 00:16:34,198
You see, you just be quiet.
Let me do all the talking.
282
00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:36,066
That way, you ain't lying.
283
00:16:36,068 --> 00:16:39,335
I'd be more comfortable
like that.
284
00:16:39,337 --> 00:16:44,840
Monsieur Fielding.
How good it is to see you!
It has been too long.
285
00:16:44,842 --> 00:16:47,309
Yeah, it's been too long
since he's eaten.
286
00:16:47,311 --> 00:16:49,644
I'll move some people.
287
00:16:49,646 --> 00:16:51,145
You a twin or something?
288
00:16:51,147 --> 00:16:51,612
No.
289
00:16:51,614 --> 00:16:54,648
Mr. Fielding, how nice
to see you again.
290
00:16:54,650 --> 00:16:57,050
May I take your hat?
291
00:17:00,088 --> 00:17:01,854
How nice.
292
00:17:02,356 --> 00:17:06,091
Mr. Fielding,
long time no see.
293
00:17:06,560 --> 00:17:08,993
You can
at least say hello.
294
00:17:08,995 --> 00:17:10,661
I don't want
to lie, Eddie.
295
00:17:10,663 --> 00:17:11,862
"Hello" is not a lie.
296
00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:14,497
You don't want
to be around
when I start lying.
297
00:17:14,499 --> 00:17:17,500
All hell breaks loose.
Believe me.
298
00:17:17,502 --> 00:17:19,235
I become another person.
299
00:17:19,237 --> 00:17:22,037
When I start to lie,
even I don't know who I am.
300
00:17:22,039 --> 00:17:26,241
Monsieur Fielding,
how are you this evening?
301
00:17:27,978 --> 00:17:30,912
Well if I
were Mr. Fielding,
302
00:17:30,914 --> 00:17:34,048
I guess you could say
I was fine.
303
00:17:34,050 --> 00:17:35,783
Very good, sir.
304
00:17:35,785 --> 00:17:38,352
This way,
sir, please.
Okay.
305
00:17:38,354 --> 00:17:39,619
May I bring the usual?
306
00:17:39,621 --> 00:17:43,623
Two usuals.
We're expecting a friend.
307
00:17:43,625 --> 00:17:45,891
A fat guy.
He's kind of ugly,
308
00:17:45,893 --> 00:17:47,225
and he owes us
a lot of money.
309
00:17:47,227 --> 00:17:50,494
I think he's waiting
at the bar.
310
00:17:51,396 --> 00:17:53,095
Thank you.
311
00:17:53,831 --> 00:17:55,597
(WHISPERING) Eddie...
312
00:17:55,599 --> 00:17:56,931
(CHUCKLING)
313
00:17:56,933 --> 00:17:59,466
Eddie, we have to get
out of here. This is crazy.
314
00:17:59,468 --> 00:18:02,735
You think I'm doing this
for me? Don't make me laugh.
315
00:18:02,737 --> 00:18:06,805
I'm doing it for Mom.
You know, my mother.
316
00:18:06,807 --> 00:18:08,840
Wish I had a picture
to show you.
317
00:18:08,842 --> 00:18:11,843
She's got what they call
a heart thing.
318
00:18:11,845 --> 00:18:13,578
The doctors call it
a bum heart.
319
00:18:13,580 --> 00:18:17,782
I was gonna use the money
that we get to get it fixed.
320
00:18:17,784 --> 00:18:20,951
I'm sorry to hear that.
I'd like to help you out.
321
00:18:20,953 --> 00:18:23,687
You know, Eddie,
I told you, I mustn't lie.
322
00:18:23,689 --> 00:18:27,691
Okay, forget I asked you.
Just forget it.
323
00:18:27,693 --> 00:18:31,161
You can send her some flowers
when she's in the hospital,
324
00:18:31,163 --> 00:18:33,163
a nice note saying,
"Die, bitch."
325
00:18:33,165 --> 00:18:38,234
Abe, babe, how are you?
I didn't know you were
bringing a friend.
326
00:18:38,236 --> 00:18:40,903
I'm Al Sandrow.
Hi.
327
00:18:41,138 --> 00:18:45,240
So, not that it's
any of my business, Abe,
328
00:18:45,242 --> 00:18:49,410
where does a guy like you
disappear to for five months?
329
00:18:49,512 --> 00:18:51,812
It's kind of a long story, Al.
330
00:18:51,814 --> 00:18:53,880
I'm asking Abe.
331
00:18:57,452 --> 00:18:58,884
Something wrong, Abe?
332
00:18:58,886 --> 00:19:02,187
He's worried about my mother.
Mama's at death's door.
333
00:19:02,189 --> 00:19:06,558
Listen, shithead,
nobody's talking to you, okay?
334
00:19:06,893 --> 00:19:08,259
Eddie, Eddie...
335
00:19:08,261 --> 00:19:09,927
I was just trying
to tell you...
336
00:19:09,929 --> 00:19:13,063
Don't tell me nothing!
I'm asking Abe!
337
00:19:13,065 --> 00:19:15,632
I don't like this, Eddie.
It's not polite.
338
00:19:15,634 --> 00:19:18,134
Maybe he can't talk
about it, but I can.
339
00:19:18,136 --> 00:19:20,903
Butt out, shithead!
I'm talking to Abe!
340
00:19:20,905 --> 00:19:23,238
I don't like it when you
call my friend a shithead,
341
00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:27,709
and if you do it
one more time, I'll cut
your fucking balls off...
342
00:19:27,711 --> 00:19:30,378
Ow.
...which is something
I'm very good at.
343
00:19:30,380 --> 00:19:32,947
Okay?
Yeah, sure, Abe.
344
00:19:32,949 --> 00:19:34,548
Say, "Okay."
Okay.
345
00:19:34,550 --> 00:19:37,951
Okay?
Okay! Okay! Okay!
346
00:19:41,323 --> 00:19:43,122
(GULPS)
347
00:19:43,858 --> 00:19:46,825
You trying
to tell me something?
No, no, no!
348
00:19:46,827 --> 00:19:48,993
Okay, okay, Abe!
349
00:19:49,528 --> 00:19:50,593
I don't want
to sound unreasonable.
350
00:19:50,595 --> 00:19:54,697
I know you came
for giving us
thousands of dollars.
351
00:19:54,699 --> 00:19:57,266
Listen to me...
But...
352
00:19:57,268 --> 00:19:59,635
See, when I...
But!
353
00:19:59,637 --> 00:20:02,904
Don't call my friend
a shithead again, okay?
354
00:20:02,906 --> 00:20:04,438
Okay!
355
00:20:05,073 --> 00:20:05,805
Now you can talk!
356
00:20:05,807 --> 00:20:07,940
"Shithead" is okay.
I can live with that.
357
00:20:07,942 --> 00:20:12,611
Do you have any idea
what this man has done
for me, huh?
358
00:20:12,613 --> 00:20:13,378
Mmm-mmm. Mmm-mmm.
359
00:20:13,380 --> 00:20:15,279
It was nothing.
I haven't done anything.
360
00:20:15,281 --> 00:20:18,882
Nothing? Pulling me out
of that explosion
was nothing?
361
00:20:18,884 --> 00:20:19,549
What explosion?
362
00:20:19,551 --> 00:20:21,584
In the lift
at Lady Tushingham's.
363
00:20:21,586 --> 00:20:24,821
Look at him.
Look what it did
to his brain.
364
00:20:24,823 --> 00:20:27,890
You see that?
Look at this.
365
00:20:27,892 --> 00:20:30,726
Hello? Anybody home?
366
00:20:32,029 --> 00:20:35,363
Don't worry. He's got
a titanium plate in there.
Ow.
367
00:20:35,365 --> 00:20:38,833
When I hit him on the head,
that actually feels good.
368
00:20:38,835 --> 00:20:40,367
What the fuck?
369
00:20:40,369 --> 00:20:41,901
(GULPS)
370
00:20:41,903 --> 00:20:45,938
Just don't call my friend
a shithead again, okay?
371
00:20:45,940 --> 00:20:46,939
Sure. Okay.
372
00:20:46,941 --> 00:20:49,041
Okay with you, Al?
Okay with Al.
373
00:20:49,043 --> 00:20:53,412
Maybe I had you pegged wrong,
but don't ever call him...
374
00:20:54,848 --> 00:20:57,181
Okay.
375
00:20:57,249 --> 00:20:59,782
I'm sorry. I didn't know.
376
00:20:59,784 --> 00:21:02,084
So, what happened in the lift?
377
00:21:02,086 --> 00:21:02,784
What's a lift?
378
00:21:02,786 --> 00:21:06,554
What happened in the lift?
Lady Tushingham, you mean?
379
00:21:06,556 --> 00:21:08,722
Yeah.
I'm glad you asked.
380
00:21:08,724 --> 00:21:12,292
This is a wonderful story, Al.
381
00:21:12,460 --> 00:21:14,193
I can't wait to tell you.
382
00:21:14,195 --> 00:21:17,629
There we were, Eddie and me,
in England, mind you,
383
00:21:17,631 --> 00:21:19,564
at this really
swellegant party.
384
00:21:19,566 --> 00:21:22,199
Lords, ladies,
everything, and, uh...
385
00:21:22,201 --> 00:21:24,501
It's not far from
Buckingham Palace,
by the way.
386
00:21:24,503 --> 00:21:28,905
And Lady Tushingham
walks up to me and says,
387
00:21:29,674 --> 00:21:33,108
"I challenge you
to pull this finger."
388
00:21:36,379 --> 00:21:40,447
"I challenge you
to pull this finger."
389
00:21:40,449 --> 00:21:41,581
You say it.
390
00:21:41,583 --> 00:21:45,651
"I challenge you
to pull this finger."
391
00:21:47,721 --> 00:21:50,088
You're gonna
love this story.
392
00:21:50,090 --> 00:21:51,556
Yeah.
393
00:21:52,025 --> 00:21:55,226
So what are you gonna do?
What do you figure?
394
00:21:55,228 --> 00:21:59,363
What could happen, right?
So I pull her finger.
395
00:21:59,365 --> 00:22:01,865
Well, she cuts one.
396
00:22:02,500 --> 00:22:05,000
Whew.
Whew.
397
00:22:05,002 --> 00:22:07,736
A rocket to Mars
doesn't have
this kind of thrust!
398
00:22:07,738 --> 00:22:12,173
And her husband,
Lord Tushingham, was trying to
light his cigar next to her.
399
00:22:12,175 --> 00:22:14,909
Ka-boom!
The place went crazy!
400
00:22:14,911 --> 00:22:17,645
They weren't calling you
shithead then, were they?
401
00:22:17,647 --> 00:22:19,747
Then? They probably were.
402
00:22:19,749 --> 00:22:21,782
Like, if you were
to call me shithead...
No, no, no.
403
00:22:21,784 --> 00:22:26,553
...and give me some money,
say, "Abe won this.
Here, shithead,"
404
00:22:26,555 --> 00:22:29,756
you know, I'd say,
"Thank you, Al."
405
00:22:29,924 --> 00:22:32,858
Abe? Abe, where the hell
have you been?
406
00:22:32,860 --> 00:22:37,229
Where have I been?
Where the hell have you been?
That's the question!
407
00:22:37,231 --> 00:22:39,097
Honey, Abe!
408
00:22:39,365 --> 00:22:40,497
Oh, my god!
409
00:22:40,499 --> 00:22:45,101
Hey, get your ass over here!
Give me a wet one!
410
00:22:45,103 --> 00:22:45,701
Hello, luscious!
411
00:22:45,703 --> 00:22:50,906
Hey, you, too.
Eddie, Al, this is
Fred and Ethel Mertz!
412
00:22:50,908 --> 00:22:51,806
Oh, god!
413
00:22:51,808 --> 00:22:53,107
Sit down! Get a load
off your feet!
414
00:22:53,109 --> 00:22:56,810
Bartender, some drinks over
here when you get a chance,
for my friends, please?
415
00:22:56,812 --> 00:22:59,979
Were you expecting
somebody else?
We were expecting you!
416
00:22:59,981 --> 00:23:04,483
He wanted to start,
I said, "No, we're waiting
till you guys arrive."
417
00:23:04,485 --> 00:23:09,087
So what did we hear?
You were in South America?
418
00:23:09,089 --> 00:23:09,620
El Salvador.
419
00:23:09,622 --> 00:23:12,522
El Salvador?
Oh, my god!
What were you doing there?
420
00:23:12,524 --> 00:23:17,293
Dropping live oxen
from 30,000 feet
on the guerrilla forces.
421
00:23:17,295 --> 00:23:17,993
No.
Yeah.
422
00:23:17,995 --> 00:23:21,129
Live oxen?
That's right.
Yeah, yeah.
423
00:23:21,131 --> 00:23:21,762
Why live oxen?
424
00:23:21,764 --> 00:23:25,799
Because it hurts like hell
when they land on you!
425
00:23:25,967 --> 00:23:32,338
He was just kidding
about dropping the oxen
from 30,000 feet.
426
00:23:32,340 --> 00:23:32,838
Oh, sure,
427
00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:38,543
as if you weren't right there
with me in the cockpit when
the missile went through.
428
00:23:38,545 --> 00:23:42,113
Oh, I forgot.
It slipped my mind.
429
00:23:42,115 --> 00:23:46,117
I can never tell
when you're serious, Abe.
430
00:23:51,691 --> 00:23:54,725
I'm in a plane
with a dead pilot,
431
00:23:54,727 --> 00:23:58,061
and the cockpit thermometer
says 30,000 feet,
432
00:23:58,063 --> 00:24:01,431
and you think
I'm making jokes?
433
00:24:02,300 --> 00:24:07,002
What the hell's the matter
with this guy?
Is he pulling my leg?
434
00:24:07,004 --> 00:24:08,503
No.
435
00:24:19,582 --> 00:24:22,516
So what happened
to Lady Tushingham?
436
00:24:22,518 --> 00:24:24,484
Fuck Lady Tushingham!
437
00:24:24,486 --> 00:24:27,453
What's the matter with you?
I'm telling you
the real stuff!
438
00:24:27,455 --> 00:24:29,922
40,000 feet, a terrorist
bursts through the door,
439
00:24:29,924 --> 00:24:35,260
puts a gun to my head
and he says, "Amigo, apague el fuego.
440
00:24:35,262 --> 00:24:38,596
"O si no, matale en el toileto!"
441
00:24:38,598 --> 00:24:41,532
How do you
like that, Al?
442
00:24:41,534 --> 00:24:42,299
Holy shit.
443
00:24:42,301 --> 00:24:45,769
Do you understand
what I'm saying?
444
00:24:46,404 --> 00:24:47,870
Yeah.
445
00:24:48,639 --> 00:24:50,138
Jesus!
446
00:24:56,513 --> 00:25:01,148
(CHATTERING)
447
00:25:25,641 --> 00:25:26,606
What was I
supposed to do?
448
00:25:26,608 --> 00:25:28,674
Then they pull out
their knives...
No!
449
00:25:28,676 --> 00:25:29,808
...and they started
swearing at us.
450
00:25:29,810 --> 00:25:31,609
We didn't know what
they were talking about.
451
00:25:31,611 --> 00:25:32,810
And Eddie says,
"Talk English."
452
00:25:32,812 --> 00:25:35,879
That's right. I mean,
good thing we didn't
know the language.
453
00:25:35,881 --> 00:25:39,515
"You don't talk English,
we're going home."
454
00:25:40,017 --> 00:25:40,715
Mr. Fielding!
455
00:25:40,717 --> 00:25:42,249
Mr. Fielding!
That really is
an amazing story.
456
00:25:42,251 --> 00:25:44,384
You know what we talked
about in the interim?
You forgot your hat.
457
00:25:44,386 --> 00:25:49,222
We talked about the money
that Al owed Abe.
Thank you.
458
00:25:49,224 --> 00:25:50,523
You know what I mean?
Yeah?
459
00:25:50,525 --> 00:25:51,790
Right? Didn't we
talk about that?
460
00:25:51,792 --> 00:25:57,629
Yeah, we were talking
about all the money that
maybe Abe won gambling,
461
00:25:57,631 --> 00:26:00,164
you know,
from this fat man.
462
00:26:00,166 --> 00:26:01,098
I'm not the fat man
463
00:26:01,100 --> 00:26:03,333
like you're not
the shithead, okay?
464
00:26:03,335 --> 00:26:05,168
Hey, I'm not trying
to be offensive,
465
00:26:05,170 --> 00:26:06,302
but you're right,
I'm not a shithead,
466
00:26:06,304 --> 00:26:08,370
but you're
definitely pudgy.
Eddie?
467
00:26:08,372 --> 00:26:10,538
What?
Al's a little sensitive
about his tummy.
468
00:26:10,540 --> 00:26:13,774
His tummy?
It's been 20 years
since he had a tummy.
469
00:26:13,776 --> 00:26:15,242
Oh, my God.
470
00:26:15,244 --> 00:26:16,710
(GASPS)
471
00:26:26,054 --> 00:26:27,920
It's ruined.
472
00:26:30,024 --> 00:26:31,890
Abe, it's your wife.
473
00:26:31,892 --> 00:26:32,824
My what?
474
00:26:32,826 --> 00:26:36,828
You're right.
It's Elaine!
475
00:26:36,830 --> 00:26:38,396
Eddie, I'm married.
476
00:26:38,398 --> 00:26:39,764
Congratulations.
477
00:26:39,766 --> 00:26:42,233
What am I gonna do?
478
00:26:42,301 --> 00:26:44,567
You son of a bitch.
479
00:26:46,237 --> 00:26:47,736
Hello, darling.
480
00:26:47,738 --> 00:26:50,305
You are not my husband.
481
00:26:50,307 --> 00:26:51,773
I think I could explain...
482
00:26:51,775 --> 00:26:54,876
You are
an inconsiderate child.
483
00:26:54,878 --> 00:26:57,845
You are an insect.
You are a piece of dust.
484
00:26:57,847 --> 00:27:02,783
How dare you
humiliate me this way
in front of our friends?
485
00:27:02,785 --> 00:27:04,785
I'm really very
disappointed in you, Gail.
486
00:27:04,787 --> 00:27:06,853
You could've told me
he was back.
487
00:27:06,855 --> 00:27:09,021
I didn't even know
he was gone.
488
00:27:09,023 --> 00:27:10,922
Oh, like hell you didn't.
489
00:27:10,924 --> 00:27:13,824
What have you got
to say for yourself?
490
00:27:13,826 --> 00:27:15,058
I missed you, dear.
491
00:27:15,060 --> 00:27:16,459
Come on.
Where are we going?
492
00:27:16,461 --> 00:27:18,427
You've got some
explaining to do.
493
00:27:18,429 --> 00:27:21,029
EDDIE: Abe, the money.
494
00:27:31,608 --> 00:27:33,074
You're the most
beautiful woman
I've ever seen.
495
00:27:33,076 --> 00:27:37,144
I cannot think
of a single reason for us
to stay together, not one.
496
00:27:37,146 --> 00:27:40,814
Well, I can think of one
pretty darn good reason.
497
00:27:40,816 --> 00:27:42,749
How about the kids, huh?
498
00:27:42,751 --> 00:27:43,649
I mean,
is it fair to them
499
00:27:43,651 --> 00:27:47,252
to make them
the innocent victims
of this?
500
00:27:47,254 --> 00:27:48,553
What kids?
501
00:27:48,555 --> 00:27:50,821
We don't have kids?
502
00:27:51,023 --> 00:27:51,654
Bear with me.
503
00:27:51,656 --> 00:27:54,723
I'm a little...
I had a cocktail
at the restaurant.
504
00:27:54,725 --> 00:27:57,125
Oh, you are
really starting
to drive me crazy.
505
00:27:57,127 --> 00:28:01,829
Honestly, dear,
I think that you've made
an awfully big mistake.
506
00:28:01,831 --> 00:28:03,931
The big mistake
was marrying you.
507
00:28:03,933 --> 00:28:05,766
No, I mean a mistake
that you think
508
00:28:05,768 --> 00:28:09,035
I'm someone else
than who I really am.
509
00:28:09,037 --> 00:28:11,737
What you are
is a lying bastard.
510
00:28:11,739 --> 00:28:14,239
Get your hand
off my knee.
511
00:28:14,241 --> 00:28:16,107
I don't think I lie
that much anymore.
512
00:28:16,109 --> 00:28:17,808
Well, I lied
a little bit tonight,
513
00:28:17,810 --> 00:28:19,209
but I was under
a lot of pressure,
514
00:28:19,211 --> 00:28:21,811
considering this was
my first night out.
515
00:28:21,813 --> 00:28:24,780
Otherwise,
I think I've made
a lot of progress.
516
00:28:24,782 --> 00:28:26,615
I really do.
517
00:28:26,617 --> 00:28:29,017
Just what did you
catch this time?
518
00:28:29,019 --> 00:28:30,885
I didn't catch anything.
519
00:28:30,887 --> 00:28:32,753
You went fishing
for five months,
520
00:28:32,755 --> 00:28:34,988
and you didn't
catch anything?
521
00:28:34,990 --> 00:28:36,923
I guess I used
the wrong bait.
522
00:28:36,925 --> 00:28:38,257
"Used the wrong bait."
523
00:28:38,259 --> 00:28:40,092
Will you please not
insult my intelligence?
524
00:28:40,094 --> 00:28:44,496
I happen to know you were
with Angela Davenport
the entire time.
525
00:28:44,498 --> 00:28:47,899
Will you close
the door, please?
526
00:28:50,603 --> 00:28:51,234
And don't deny it.
527
00:28:51,236 --> 00:28:55,137
Don't even try
because I got it right
from the horse's mouth.
528
00:28:55,139 --> 00:28:56,705
You mean,
Angela told you?
529
00:28:56,707 --> 00:28:59,674
No, Angela's husband
told me.
530
00:28:59,676 --> 00:29:00,341
Oh, gee.
531
00:29:00,343 --> 00:29:04,745
What on Earth have you got
in that foolish-looking
little bag?
532
00:29:04,747 --> 00:29:07,447
My raincoat
and rubbers.
533
00:29:08,183 --> 00:29:09,582
He also told me
that when he found you,
534
00:29:09,584 --> 00:29:14,153
he was going to cut you up
into infinitesimally
small pieces.
535
00:29:14,155 --> 00:29:16,922
Too bad he was bluffing.
536
00:29:20,494 --> 00:29:23,294
I've been murdered.
537
00:29:26,799 --> 00:29:29,065
Oh, my God.
538
00:29:30,635 --> 00:29:32,534
(GROWLING)
539
00:29:32,803 --> 00:29:37,472
A little doggy.
Cute little doggy. Oh.
540
00:29:37,941 --> 00:29:39,674
Nice doggy. Nice doggy.
541
00:29:39,676 --> 00:29:40,708
(BARKING)
542
00:29:40,710 --> 00:29:45,045
Yes, sit. Good boy.
Oh, oh, oh.
543
00:29:45,313 --> 00:29:46,211
Be a good boy.
544
00:29:46,213 --> 00:29:52,784
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Nice doggy.
Nice doggy. Nice doggy.
545
00:29:52,919 --> 00:29:56,520
Ooh. Elaine? Elaine?
546
00:29:59,558 --> 00:30:00,657
Elaine?
547
00:30:00,659 --> 00:30:01,724
Oh, Mrs...
548
00:30:01,726 --> 00:30:05,527
Good boy! Sit! Sit! Sit!
Be a good doggy.
549
00:30:05,529 --> 00:30:06,227
(DOG WHINING)
550
00:30:06,229 --> 00:30:07,928
Elaine, I have
to tell you something.
551
00:30:07,930 --> 00:30:10,196
I think something terrible
may have happened.
552
00:30:10,198 --> 00:30:11,230
What?
553
00:30:11,232 --> 00:30:12,431
I'm, uh...
554
00:30:12,433 --> 00:30:13,799
What?
555
00:30:13,801 --> 00:30:16,601
I have to... I have to...
556
00:30:16,769 --> 00:30:17,634
What?
557
00:30:17,636 --> 00:30:19,402
I have to... I have to...
558
00:30:19,404 --> 00:30:20,236
What?
559
00:30:20,238 --> 00:30:22,037
I have to... I have to...
560
00:30:22,039 --> 00:30:22,537
What?
561
00:30:22,539 --> 00:30:25,172
I'm on her breast
to tell you
the tittie hooth.
562
00:30:25,174 --> 00:30:30,010
Angela didn't forewarn you
about her implants, did she?
563
00:30:30,479 --> 00:30:31,144
Honest truth.
564
00:30:31,146 --> 00:30:36,349
Did you find out in bed,
or did they rattle
when you danced?
565
00:30:36,884 --> 00:30:42,520
You know, it's
very difficult for me
to be honest with you
566
00:30:42,522 --> 00:30:45,022
at a time like this.
567
00:30:46,925 --> 00:30:49,358
Give it a whirl, Abe.
568
00:30:49,493 --> 00:30:53,695
Well, I like...
I want to...
569
00:30:53,830 --> 00:30:54,662
I want to...
570
00:30:54,664 --> 00:30:56,730
You want to say
something to me?
571
00:30:56,732 --> 00:30:57,163
Yes, I do,
572
00:30:57,165 --> 00:31:00,099
and I want to be
completely honest
and get this off your chest.
573
00:31:00,101 --> 00:31:02,234
I mean, get this
on your breast.
574
00:31:02,236 --> 00:31:03,835
I mean, my breast.
575
00:31:03,837 --> 00:31:05,736
Get this off my chest.
576
00:31:05,738 --> 00:31:07,938
Give it a try.
Give it your best shot.
577
00:31:07,940 --> 00:31:10,240
The truth, Abe.
Let's hear it.
578
00:31:10,242 --> 00:31:15,278
(SIGHS) Elaine,
I am not your husband.
579
00:31:15,280 --> 00:31:17,380
I'm a Volvo salesman.
580
00:31:17,382 --> 00:31:19,448
(ROBE RIPS)
581
00:31:23,487 --> 00:31:31,526
You are really beginning
to fray the edges
of my patience, Abe.
582
00:31:38,835 --> 00:31:42,837
I've never...
I've never been to Yosemite.
583
00:31:49,011 --> 00:31:51,544
(SCREECHING)
584
00:32:11,232 --> 00:32:12,464
Oh, man.
585
00:32:12,466 --> 00:32:14,766
He done landed in tall cotton!
586
00:32:14,768 --> 00:32:18,536
Hey, baby!
Holy shit, this is great!
587
00:32:18,538 --> 00:32:22,740
They don't have this much
acreage in the projects.
588
00:32:39,592 --> 00:32:43,627
Oh, man!
Are you kidding me?
589
00:32:45,263 --> 00:32:47,229
Holy shit! Wait!
590
00:32:47,231 --> 00:32:50,632
Huh? Kiss my ass!
591
00:33:00,276 --> 00:33:02,376
Coochie-coochie?
592
00:33:03,412 --> 00:33:05,879
Come here, little puppy.
593
00:33:06,281 --> 00:33:08,914
Come here. Suck your dick.
594
00:33:10,250 --> 00:33:12,283
All right. Whoa. whoa.
595
00:33:12,285 --> 00:33:14,084
Is this 1145 Stoneridge?
596
00:33:14,086 --> 00:33:19,222
Got some candy for you.
Goddamn it, you bit my...
597
00:33:19,424 --> 00:33:22,425
Nice baby. Good fellow.
598
00:33:24,996 --> 00:33:26,895
Hey, Abe!
599
00:33:27,464 --> 00:33:29,530
Jesus. Abe!
600
00:33:29,865 --> 00:33:31,664
Holy shit.
601
00:33:31,666 --> 00:33:33,399
Abe! Whoa.
602
00:33:34,402 --> 00:33:35,934
Abe?
603
00:33:38,972 --> 00:33:40,538
Abe!
604
00:33:41,374 --> 00:33:43,340
How you doin', Abe?
605
00:33:43,342 --> 00:33:45,909
What, you eatin' breakfast?
606
00:33:45,911 --> 00:33:47,343
Hey, another chair?
607
00:33:47,345 --> 00:33:50,679
Abe, this yours?
Is it?
608
00:33:52,783 --> 00:33:55,483
You don't need this, Abe.
609
00:33:56,152 --> 00:33:57,651
Hey!
610
00:34:01,556 --> 00:34:04,423
Uh-oh! Abe!
611
00:34:11,598 --> 00:34:13,197
Abe?
612
00:34:16,035 --> 00:34:17,567
Abe!
613
00:34:17,569 --> 00:34:19,068
Eddie.
Yo, Abe.
614
00:34:19,070 --> 00:34:20,069
Eddie, I knew
you'd find me.
615
00:34:20,071 --> 00:34:21,303
I knew you'd find me.
Don't touch me, Abe.
616
00:34:21,305 --> 00:34:23,872
Don't touch me.
Come on. Just a little.
Just let me hold your hand.
617
00:34:23,874 --> 00:34:26,474
No, just...
Hey, don't touch me!
618
00:34:26,476 --> 00:34:27,274
How did you find me?
619
00:34:27,276 --> 00:34:30,410
It's not hard.
You're in the phone book,
listed under "Abe Fielding."
620
00:34:30,412 --> 00:34:31,711
That was smart.
Hey.
621
00:34:31,713 --> 00:34:32,978
Okay, okay!
622
00:34:32,980 --> 00:34:33,712
Can I call you Abe?
623
00:34:33,714 --> 00:34:36,081
You know my name
is George.
624
00:34:36,083 --> 00:34:37,115
George, right.
Your name is George.
625
00:34:37,117 --> 00:34:39,250
I don't know why
you make such a big deal
about a little touching.
626
00:34:39,252 --> 00:34:43,988
Yo, Abe... I mean, George,
how many acres we got here?
627
00:34:43,990 --> 00:34:44,488
None.
628
00:34:44,490 --> 00:34:46,623
None? Looks like
more than that to me.
629
00:34:46,625 --> 00:34:48,391
That's because you think
I'm Abe Fielding,
630
00:34:48,393 --> 00:34:51,994
but I'm not, Eddie.
I don't even know
Abe Fielding,
631
00:34:51,996 --> 00:34:53,128
but I think I know
what happened to him.
632
00:34:53,130 --> 00:34:56,764
I think he was cut up
into little pieces by
somebody's jealous husband.
633
00:34:56,766 --> 00:34:58,165
What the hell
are you talking about?
634
00:34:58,167 --> 00:35:01,334
You don't believe me.
I'm not Abe Fielding.
635
00:35:01,336 --> 00:35:04,503
Hey, man, you're
at the Pearly Gates.
Don't choose hell.
636
00:35:04,505 --> 00:35:05,370
What are you gonna say?
637
00:35:05,372 --> 00:35:07,105
I'll say that I don't
have a place to stay.
638
00:35:07,107 --> 00:35:08,573
I'd like to stay
with you for a while.
639
00:35:08,575 --> 00:35:11,642
Why don't you ask her
for me, okay, pal?
640
00:35:11,644 --> 00:35:13,176
GEORGE: Hello, dear.
641
00:35:13,178 --> 00:35:15,745
Mrs... Honeybun?
642
00:35:15,747 --> 00:35:16,212
Yes?
643
00:35:16,214 --> 00:35:19,315
Uh, Eddie wants to know
if he can live with us
for a while.
644
00:35:19,317 --> 00:35:24,119
You know,
just for a little while
until my mom gets better.
645
00:35:24,121 --> 00:35:26,521
A couple years, tops.
646
00:35:28,858 --> 00:35:29,723
No.
647
00:35:29,725 --> 00:35:33,760
No? What do you mean, no?
Come on, peaches.
648
00:35:33,762 --> 00:35:34,627
"Peaches"?
Yeah,
649
00:35:34,629 --> 00:35:38,464
I mean, Abe has
something to say.
Just hear the man out.
650
00:35:38,466 --> 00:35:42,134
All right, what is it?
651
00:35:45,472 --> 00:35:48,473
Well, you know, Elaine,
652
00:35:48,475 --> 00:35:51,075
Eddie isn't
who you think he is.
653
00:35:51,210 --> 00:35:52,676
No? Who is he?
654
00:35:52,678 --> 00:35:58,448
Did you ever hear
of a prize fighter
by the name of Joe Frazier?
655
00:35:58,650 --> 00:36:00,816
You mean,
the Thriller from Manila?
656
00:36:00,818 --> 00:36:04,586
That's it!
The Thriller from Manila.
657
00:36:04,688 --> 00:36:05,019
Oh.
658
00:36:05,021 --> 00:36:06,253
You know, right after
that fight with Ali,
659
00:36:06,255 --> 00:36:07,587
when they were both
in the Philippines,
660
00:36:07,589 --> 00:36:12,224
Joe Frazier got malaria,
and he lost a lot of weight.
661
00:36:12,726 --> 00:36:13,458
(CHUCKLING)
662
00:36:13,460 --> 00:36:18,029
I mean, a lot of weight.
Even shrunk a little bit.
663
00:36:18,031 --> 00:36:21,098
And after they got it
under control,
664
00:36:21,100 --> 00:36:24,201
even then he thought,
well, if anyone ever
saw him like that,
665
00:36:24,203 --> 00:36:26,937
you know, his career
as a prize fighter
would be finished.
666
00:36:26,939 --> 00:36:30,807
No one would ever
give him a shot
at the title.
667
00:36:30,942 --> 00:36:33,409
So he decided he better
change his name
668
00:36:33,411 --> 00:36:34,643
and his identity
for a little while,
669
00:36:34,645 --> 00:36:37,779
just till he could
sort of work his way
back into shape.
670
00:36:37,781 --> 00:36:40,481
It's been
a rough road back,
right, champ?
671
00:36:40,483 --> 00:36:42,483
Hey, I'm not complaining.
You know what I mean?
672
00:36:42,485 --> 00:36:44,318
I just want another crack
at the title.
673
00:36:44,320 --> 00:36:47,254
That's it. Save 'em.
Save 'em, pal.
674
00:36:47,256 --> 00:36:51,291
I'm gonna help you, Joe.
I mean, Eddie.
675
00:36:51,293 --> 00:36:53,960
Sorry, champ.
I won't slip again.
676
00:36:53,962 --> 00:36:56,729
You know...
You know, Elaine,
677
00:36:56,731 --> 00:36:58,197
he's the best friend
I've got.
678
00:36:58,199 --> 00:37:00,532
He just needs a place
where he can,
679
00:37:00,534 --> 00:37:01,065
(SNORTS)
680
00:37:01,067 --> 00:37:05,102
you know, lick his wounds
for a while, and...
681
00:37:05,104 --> 00:37:10,273
And put about, maybe,
50, 60 pounds back on.
682
00:37:18,416 --> 00:37:21,116
That is an amazing story.
683
00:37:21,118 --> 00:37:21,816
Thanks.
684
00:37:21,818 --> 00:37:24,151
I was very rude to you
a minute ago.
685
00:37:24,153 --> 00:37:26,186
I'm awfully sorry.
686
00:37:26,188 --> 00:37:28,888
I want you to stay.
Really, please do.
687
00:37:28,890 --> 00:37:29,955
I feel so exposed.
688
00:37:29,957 --> 00:37:35,060
Please, let me see
if I can get
the guest bedroom made up.
689
00:37:36,630 --> 00:37:38,896
I'll be right back.
690
00:37:42,468 --> 00:37:44,634
Aw, shit, man.
691
00:37:45,069 --> 00:37:50,572
Hey, before I met you,
the term "bullshit artist"
was an empty phrase,
692
00:37:50,574 --> 00:37:54,442
but working with you
has made me a better liar.
693
00:37:54,444 --> 00:37:59,079
You're just describing
everything I don't want to be.
694
00:38:11,526 --> 00:38:13,259
(GASPS)
695
00:38:13,461 --> 00:38:15,661
Look at this.
696
00:38:15,829 --> 00:38:19,063
It's a Rolex.
This is money.
697
00:38:19,565 --> 00:38:23,066
Jeez. Gold rings. My God...
698
00:38:23,068 --> 00:38:24,934
Eddie, what are you
doing in here?
699
00:38:24,936 --> 00:38:27,536
You said
you were going to take
a little walk outside.
700
00:38:27,538 --> 00:38:28,637
I was looking
all over for you.
701
00:38:28,639 --> 00:38:31,239
I was looking around
at some of Fielding's stuff.
702
00:38:31,241 --> 00:38:33,942
I was doing
a little research.
You know what I mean?
703
00:38:33,944 --> 00:38:38,346
Like this pipe.
You put this pipe
in your mouth,
704
00:38:38,348 --> 00:38:39,814
and you'll feel
like Fielding.
705
00:38:39,816 --> 00:38:42,349
Then a dash
of his cologne. Mmm!
706
00:38:42,351 --> 00:38:44,417
Put on some of this.
Smell like Abe.
707
00:38:44,419 --> 00:38:46,619
Before you do the thing,
you know?
708
00:38:46,621 --> 00:38:47,353
Before I do what thing?
709
00:38:47,355 --> 00:38:50,756
Hey, the woman hasn't
seen you in five months.
She's expecting something.
710
00:38:50,758 --> 00:38:54,192
You got to give her
some of what she expects,
you know?
711
00:38:54,194 --> 00:38:56,127
A little padumph, padumph.
712
00:38:56,129 --> 00:38:58,496
Eddie, I...
713
00:38:58,498 --> 00:39:00,130
I can't do padumph with...
714
00:39:00,132 --> 00:39:02,098
(STAMMERING) That would
be under false pretenses.
715
00:39:02,100 --> 00:39:06,001
What false pretenses?
She probably thinks
you're her husband.
716
00:39:06,003 --> 00:39:07,335
She'll turn the TV on.
717
00:39:07,337 --> 00:39:11,072
(I LOVE LUCY THEME
PLAYING ON TV)
718
00:39:15,044 --> 00:39:17,110
What are you gonna say
to the lady?
719
00:39:17,112 --> 00:39:21,147
Well, I would say,
"Oh, gosh, Elaine,
720
00:39:21,149 --> 00:39:22,281
"you look
just lovely tonight."
721
00:39:22,283 --> 00:39:23,649
No, no, wait. Whoa.
You're not gonna say that.
722
00:39:23,651 --> 00:39:25,350
That's the kind of thing
Boy Scouts say on a trip
723
00:39:25,352 --> 00:39:27,952
when they're trying
to sell cookies.
But I don't wanna be...
724
00:39:27,954 --> 00:39:29,286
I'm not going to be
crude, Eddie.
725
00:39:29,288 --> 00:39:30,220
Nobody's talking crude.
726
00:39:30,222 --> 00:39:35,792
I'm talking,
be suave, debonair.
You gotta be Cary Grant.
727
00:39:35,794 --> 00:39:36,259
Cary Grant?
728
00:39:36,261 --> 00:39:38,961
Yeah, what do you think?
Cary Grant on a date,
he wants to do the thing
729
00:39:38,963 --> 00:39:41,496
and he says to the lady...
730
00:39:41,498 --> 00:39:42,463
No, no, I hope not.
731
00:39:42,465 --> 00:39:44,465
No, Cary Grant's
smooth, debonair.
732
00:39:44,467 --> 00:39:47,801
He says something like,
"Judy, Judy, Judy,
733
00:39:47,803 --> 00:39:49,803
"you want
to padumph, padumph?"
734
00:39:49,805 --> 00:39:51,004
That's what
he would say?
735
00:39:51,006 --> 00:39:53,606
Hey, either that or,
"You want to fuck?"
736
00:39:53,608 --> 00:39:53,973
No.
737
00:39:53,975 --> 00:39:57,710
LUCILLE BALL ON TV: I'm a dipper from way back.
738
00:39:57,712 --> 00:39:58,510
This is your night.
739
00:39:58,512 --> 00:39:59,811
I don't think
I can do it.
740
00:39:59,813 --> 00:40:01,512
Come here a sec.
This is gonna be it.
741
00:40:01,514 --> 00:40:02,279
I'm a little nervous.
742
00:40:02,281 --> 00:40:05,248
You go in there. This woman
has a thing for you.
I saw it in her eyes.
743
00:40:05,250 --> 00:40:05,848
Yeah?
744
00:40:05,850 --> 00:40:08,483
Put some of this on.
There you go.
745
00:40:08,485 --> 00:40:09,984
Not bad, is it?
746
00:40:09,986 --> 00:40:10,517
(SIGHS)
747
00:40:10,519 --> 00:40:15,221
Now look, you go in there,
and you think Cary Grant.
748
00:40:15,223 --> 00:40:16,021
Uh-huh.
749
00:40:16,023 --> 00:40:18,490
Come on.
Judy, Judy.
750
00:40:18,692 --> 00:40:22,160
Yes, sir.
Okay. Help me.
751
00:40:22,929 --> 00:40:26,597
That man couldn't get laid
in a woman's prison
with a pound of pot.
752
00:40:26,599 --> 00:40:29,299
All right, girls. Now, this is your last chance.
753
00:40:29,301 --> 00:40:35,538
If one piece of candy gets past you and into the packing room unwrapped,
754
00:40:35,540 --> 00:40:37,540
you're fired.
755
00:40:37,875 --> 00:40:39,374
Let her roll!
756
00:40:39,376 --> 00:40:40,708
What are you doing?
757
00:40:40,710 --> 00:40:42,476
Judy, Judy.
758
00:40:42,478 --> 00:40:46,313
Could I interest you
in a little padumph, padumph?
759
00:40:46,315 --> 00:40:49,015
Who are you talking to?
760
00:40:50,685 --> 00:40:51,617
You.
761
00:40:51,619 --> 00:40:56,254
I just wanted to know
if you'd like to have
a little padumph.
762
00:40:56,256 --> 00:40:57,855
Padumph?
763
00:40:57,857 --> 00:40:59,256
Oh, gosh, Elaine.
764
00:40:59,258 --> 00:41:02,492
Do you know
how long it's been
since I've done the thing?
765
00:41:02,494 --> 00:41:04,760
Are you for real?
766
00:41:04,895 --> 00:41:06,628
You bet.
767
00:41:07,297 --> 00:41:09,196
(HORN HONKING)
768
00:41:09,531 --> 00:41:11,898
Who could that be?
769
00:41:12,133 --> 00:41:14,733
Look, Abe, there's a car
coming up the driveway.
770
00:41:14,735 --> 00:41:15,300
(DOG BARKING)
771
00:41:15,302 --> 00:41:19,737
I don't know who else but you
would come barreling up
at this hour.
772
00:41:19,739 --> 00:41:20,938
My God, it must be Abe.
773
00:41:20,940 --> 00:41:24,708
Oh, will you please
not do that anymore?
774
00:41:24,710 --> 00:41:27,577
I'm sorry.
I mean, it must be me.
775
00:41:27,579 --> 00:41:29,579
(DOG WHIMPERS)
776
00:41:33,184 --> 00:41:35,083
Would you go down
and see who it is?
777
00:41:35,085 --> 00:41:36,984
I'll be down in a minute.
778
00:41:36,986 --> 00:41:38,385
Okay.
779
00:41:38,954 --> 00:41:40,887
(DOG BARKING)
780
00:41:47,996 --> 00:41:50,363
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
781
00:41:50,365 --> 00:41:50,963
Oh, hi!
782
00:41:50,965 --> 00:41:53,932
Hey, there's someone
at the front door.
783
00:41:53,934 --> 00:41:55,266
So?
784
00:41:55,368 --> 00:41:57,735
I'd like you
to come with me.
785
00:41:57,737 --> 00:41:59,236
(EXCLAIMING)
786
00:41:59,438 --> 00:42:00,170
What's all this stuff?
787
00:42:00,172 --> 00:42:02,805
It's the stuff that
I'm taking to get cleaned.
788
00:42:02,807 --> 00:42:06,508
Oh, yeah,
looks pretty dirty.
789
00:42:14,451 --> 00:42:17,018
(DOORBELL RINGING)
790
00:42:18,721 --> 00:42:22,189
I'd like you
to answer it, Eddie.
Would you?
791
00:42:22,191 --> 00:42:24,824
Yeah, you're the maestro.
792
00:42:32,133 --> 00:42:35,834
Well, if it ain't
Mr. Finger-on-the-bell.
793
00:42:35,836 --> 00:42:39,470
How dare you!
Open this door. Open it!
794
00:42:40,239 --> 00:42:41,538
Just who the hell are you?
795
00:42:41,540 --> 00:42:43,606
I demand to know,
and I mean now, mister.
796
00:42:43,608 --> 00:42:44,974
I mean, right now!
797
00:42:44,976 --> 00:42:45,908
Who the hell are you?
798
00:42:45,910 --> 00:42:48,277
Elaine?
Elaine, you all right?
799
00:42:48,279 --> 00:42:52,281
Hey, I'm Abe Fielding's
best friend, you asshole!
800
00:42:52,283 --> 00:42:52,848
(DIBBS SCOFFS)
801
00:42:52,850 --> 00:42:54,482
I mean, you think you
can just come in here
802
00:42:54,484 --> 00:42:55,416
and talk to me
like I'm shit?
803
00:42:55,418 --> 00:42:57,050
Oh, please, please.
You don't even know
Abe Fielding.
804
00:42:57,052 --> 00:42:59,652
You wouldn't
know Abe Fielding
if you were talking to him.
805
00:42:59,654 --> 00:43:01,020
Wait a minute.
You Abe Fielding?
806
00:43:01,022 --> 00:43:02,721
No, I'm not. Elaine!
807
00:43:02,723 --> 00:43:03,588
My name is Rupert Dibbs.
808
00:43:03,590 --> 00:43:06,023
I happen to run
Abe Fielding's business.
809
00:43:06,025 --> 00:43:08,892
Elaine!
Dibbsy!
810
00:43:08,960 --> 00:43:09,992
Abe? Abe!
811
00:43:09,994 --> 00:43:13,261
You old duffer!
How's the boy?
812
00:43:13,263 --> 00:43:14,662
My God, you're back!
813
00:43:14,664 --> 00:43:15,562
Long time no see, pal!
814
00:43:15,564 --> 00:43:19,465
Eddie, I bet you thought
that was Fielding
for a while, didn't you?
815
00:43:19,467 --> 00:43:20,732
Well, it's kind
of dark in here.
816
00:43:20,734 --> 00:43:23,935
Eddie, you know how I knew
it wasn't Abe Fielding?
817
00:43:23,937 --> 00:43:24,602
No.
818
00:43:24,604 --> 00:43:26,637
'Cause I'm Abe Fielding!
819
00:43:26,639 --> 00:43:27,971
Oh.
Remember?
820
00:43:27,973 --> 00:43:30,173
Abe, how you doing,
you old duffer?
821
00:43:30,175 --> 00:43:31,707
Fine, fine!
822
00:43:31,709 --> 00:43:33,041
Hey, Dibbsy.
Give me a wet one.
823
00:43:33,043 --> 00:43:37,011
A what?
Come on, come on, come on!
Come on, come on.
824
00:43:37,013 --> 00:43:38,545
You son of a gun!
825
00:43:38,547 --> 00:43:39,579
What, have you
lost your mind?
826
00:43:39,581 --> 00:43:40,546
Look at that tie.
Not even one...
827
00:43:40,548 --> 00:43:42,614
Beautiful bow tie...
Not even a phone call
in five months?
828
00:43:42,616 --> 00:43:43,314
...like the old days.
829
00:43:43,316 --> 00:43:45,149
I'm not saying
you didn't deserve...
Don't start lecturing me.
830
00:43:45,151 --> 00:43:47,317
No, no, no, no, everybody
deserves a vacation, but...
831
00:43:47,319 --> 00:43:48,084
No lectures, no lectures.
832
00:43:48,086 --> 00:43:49,585
Come on, come on...
Everybody deserves
a vacation,
833
00:43:49,587 --> 00:43:50,986
but how am I supposed
to run a business...
834
00:43:50,988 --> 00:43:52,020
Let me see what
I can fix for you.
835
00:43:52,022 --> 00:43:53,855
...without the occasional
phone call?
Brandy still your drink?
836
00:43:53,857 --> 00:43:56,190
I don't drink.
I still can't get
this guy to take a drink.
837
00:43:56,192 --> 00:43:58,659
By the way, this is
my best friend,
Eddie Dash.
838
00:43:58,661 --> 00:43:59,426
Elaine.
No, Eddie.
839
00:43:59,428 --> 00:44:01,327
Rupert, what are
you doing here?
840
00:44:01,329 --> 00:44:04,263
Um, I have some papers
that need power of attorney,
841
00:44:04,265 --> 00:44:07,332
but you're here,
so maybe you can
sign them for me, Abe.
842
00:44:07,334 --> 00:44:08,066
Sure.
843
00:44:08,068 --> 00:44:09,100
Just need your signature.
844
00:44:09,102 --> 00:44:10,468
You want my Fielding
on that?
845
00:44:10,470 --> 00:44:11,335
I sure do.
You bet!
846
00:44:11,337 --> 00:44:13,303
I want it right there
and right there.
847
00:44:13,305 --> 00:44:14,637
Okey doke.
848
00:44:14,639 --> 00:44:16,872
How are you
fixed for cash?
Cash?
849
00:44:16,874 --> 00:44:18,673
Oh, we're a little short.
"We"?
850
00:44:18,675 --> 00:44:21,308
Yeah, we got some things
to do downtown.
851
00:44:21,310 --> 00:44:23,810
Uh-huh. I understand.
852
00:44:24,779 --> 00:44:25,544
There you go.
853
00:44:25,546 --> 00:44:27,479
I think that should
take care of it.
854
00:44:27,481 --> 00:44:27,912
(WHISTLES)
855
00:44:27,914 --> 00:44:31,982
Uh, Abe, why don't you
tell the man about
the credit card you lost?
856
00:44:31,984 --> 00:44:34,217
Uh-huh. Well...
EDDIE: Didn't you?
857
00:44:34,219 --> 00:44:35,651
Yeah, I don't know
what I did with them.
858
00:44:35,653 --> 00:44:37,819
This should
take care of that.
859
00:44:37,821 --> 00:44:38,319
Look at that!
860
00:44:38,321 --> 00:44:41,355
Dibbsy to the rescue.
Just like the old days, huh?
861
00:44:41,357 --> 00:44:41,888
What a guy.
862
00:44:41,890 --> 00:44:43,623
Oh, gosh, Abe,
you're lookin'
in the pink.
863
00:44:43,625 --> 00:44:44,323
That's my color, pal.
864
00:44:44,325 --> 00:44:46,224
You back for a while
or you gonna be
shipping out?
865
00:44:46,226 --> 00:44:48,993
Well, you better ask
the little lady about that.
Okay.
866
00:44:48,995 --> 00:44:50,761
ELAINE: Gonna be sticking
around for a while.
867
00:44:50,763 --> 00:44:52,229
GEORGE: See that?
She's the boss.
868
00:44:52,231 --> 00:44:54,998
Credit cards. Money.
869
00:44:55,700 --> 00:44:57,032
Pussy.
870
00:44:57,034 --> 00:44:58,166
You bet your boots.
871
00:44:58,168 --> 00:44:59,667
Elaine, you look great.
872
00:44:59,669 --> 00:45:01,468
I'll see you
soon, Abe.
Yeah.
873
00:45:01,470 --> 00:45:02,602
Welcome home.
Nice to see you again.
874
00:45:02,604 --> 00:45:06,872
Uh, mister...
It's been a pleasure.
Maybe I'll see you again.
875
00:45:06,874 --> 00:45:09,541
Hey, you can bank on it.
876
00:45:10,343 --> 00:45:11,608
Abe?
Hmm?
877
00:45:11,610 --> 00:45:14,177
Who is that bum?
Is he some fishing buddy?
878
00:45:14,179 --> 00:45:15,912
I mean, why don't you
get rid of him?
879
00:45:15,914 --> 00:45:17,079
You know, Dibbsy,
880
00:45:17,081 --> 00:45:22,284
you're my business manager,
and I respect you for that,
881
00:45:22,419 --> 00:45:25,787
but don't ever call my friend
a shithead again, okay?
882
00:45:25,789 --> 00:45:28,089
I said no such...
Okay?
883
00:45:28,091 --> 00:45:32,594
Okay? Okay?
Okay, Dibbsy?
884
00:45:32,596 --> 00:45:33,895
Hmm?
Okay.
885
00:45:33,897 --> 00:45:35,930
Okay. Good night.
886
00:45:36,499 --> 00:45:38,365
See you soon.
887
00:45:39,434 --> 00:45:41,400
Hey, Dibbsy.
888
00:45:44,605 --> 00:45:46,671
Ready to turn in,
sweetheart?
889
00:45:46,673 --> 00:45:48,939
That was so rude.
890
00:45:48,941 --> 00:45:49,773
What do you mean?
891
00:45:49,775 --> 00:45:53,510
I can't believe
you talked
to Rupert that way.
892
00:45:53,512 --> 00:45:56,012
After everything
he's done for you.
893
00:45:56,014 --> 00:45:58,147
I wasn't rude
to him at all.
894
00:45:58,149 --> 00:45:59,248
I was trying...
Elaine!
895
00:45:59,250 --> 00:46:00,882
Please, stop.
Don't try and explain.
896
00:46:00,884 --> 00:46:03,885
I'm going to bed, alone.
897
00:46:03,887 --> 00:46:05,186
(DOOR CLOSES)
898
00:46:05,188 --> 00:46:08,756
Eddie? Hey, Eddie?
899
00:46:12,828 --> 00:46:14,794
(CAR TIRES SCREECHING)
900
00:46:20,368 --> 00:46:21,800
Eddie!
901
00:46:28,041 --> 00:46:29,840
Oh, my goodness!
902
00:46:29,842 --> 00:46:34,377
(CHATTERING)
903
00:46:42,453 --> 00:46:43,185
What?
Elaine?
904
00:46:43,187 --> 00:46:46,321
What?
Can I say just
one thing to you?
905
00:46:46,323 --> 00:46:49,590
What?
Goodbye forever, dear.
906
00:46:53,295 --> 00:46:57,330
What's going on?
I can't stay in this house
alone with you, Elaine.
907
00:46:57,332 --> 00:46:58,698
I mustn't be
alone with you.
908
00:46:58,700 --> 00:47:00,633
Why? What's the problem?
Eddie's coming back.
909
00:47:00,635 --> 00:47:03,936
Look at me.
I can't look at you.
If I do, I'm a goner.
910
00:47:03,938 --> 00:47:04,736
I'll never leave this house.
911
00:47:04,738 --> 00:47:06,904
You remind me
so much of a girl
I was in love with once.
912
00:47:06,906 --> 00:47:09,106
At least I thought
I was in love with her
till I met you.
913
00:47:09,108 --> 00:47:13,777
I got her to love me by lying,
and I must not do that again!
914
00:47:13,779 --> 00:47:15,578
Look at me! Look at me!
Look at me! Look at me!
915
00:47:15,580 --> 00:47:17,079
Are you leaving me
for good?
916
00:47:17,081 --> 00:47:18,246
I'm not Abe!
I'm not married to you!
917
00:47:18,248 --> 00:47:22,917
I'm George!
I'm just a Volvo salesman
for Horst Mueller!
918
00:47:22,919 --> 00:47:24,118
Look at me! Look at me!
919
00:47:24,120 --> 00:47:25,886
Oh, taxi! Taxi!
Wait, wait, wait, wait!
920
00:47:25,888 --> 00:47:28,922
Just give me
a little kiss goodbye.
A kiss?
921
00:47:28,924 --> 00:47:30,456
One little kiss.
922
00:47:36,330 --> 00:47:39,130
Taxi! Oh, taxi!
923
00:47:39,132 --> 00:47:41,365
What... Abe!
Where are the taxis?
924
00:47:41,367 --> 00:47:46,002
I tell you, George,
if what you say is true,
I find that admirable.
925
00:47:46,004 --> 00:47:47,403
You were totally
honest with her.
926
00:47:47,405 --> 00:47:50,572
You left the woman you loved
rather than lie to her.
927
00:47:50,574 --> 00:47:52,674
How do you feel
about that, George?
928
00:47:52,676 --> 00:47:53,841
Who took my red?
929
00:47:53,843 --> 00:47:54,708
George, I'm asking you...
930
00:47:54,710 --> 00:47:58,211
I'll answer you,
but who took my red?
931
00:47:59,247 --> 00:48:01,247
Hey. Hey.
932
00:48:01,749 --> 00:48:04,015
(AS WOODY ALLEN)
I can't believe
I had the red
933
00:48:04,017 --> 00:48:07,618
at the exact moment
that you wanted it.
934
00:48:07,620 --> 00:48:10,654
I should be stripped naked
and have scalding
matzo-ball soup
935
00:48:10,656 --> 00:48:12,889
ladled over my genitals
by Dolly Parton.
936
00:48:12,891 --> 00:48:16,392
Phillip, put a clam on it!
I'll try.
937
00:48:16,394 --> 00:48:21,096
George, how does it feel
to be an honest person?
938
00:48:21,331 --> 00:48:22,029
Where's my green?
939
00:48:22,031 --> 00:48:24,865
Did you pump up your mickey
before you showed it to her?
940
00:48:24,867 --> 00:48:29,269
Who has the green?
You know, George, sometimes
a patient's first day
941
00:48:29,271 --> 00:48:30,737
away from the clinic
can be quite stressful.
942
00:48:30,739 --> 00:48:34,073
Is it possible
there was no
Mrs. Fielding?
943
00:48:34,075 --> 00:48:35,040
(AS PETER FALK)
Wait a minute!
944
00:48:35,042 --> 00:48:39,544
Maybe he is Abe Fielding,
and he was lying to us
about that, too.
945
00:48:39,546 --> 00:48:44,782
What do you think?
Huh? Just a theory.
946
00:48:45,050 --> 00:48:46,916
Poor Miss Fielding.
947
00:48:46,918 --> 00:48:49,685
I bet she's crying
her eyes out.
948
00:48:55,325 --> 00:48:56,590
That's enough. Stop it.
949
00:48:56,592 --> 00:49:01,761
Look, I'm not saying
you don't have some
limited acting ability.
950
00:49:01,763 --> 00:49:03,863
Limited acting ability?
951
00:49:03,865 --> 00:49:06,098
Listen, bud,
these are real tears.
952
00:49:06,100 --> 00:49:08,233
What I am saying is,
when I hired you,
953
00:49:08,235 --> 00:49:11,102
you told me you were
a professional actress.
954
00:49:11,104 --> 00:49:11,735
I am, sort of.
955
00:49:11,737 --> 00:49:16,673
All right,
I'm basically a vocalist,
but I am studying acting,
956
00:49:16,675 --> 00:49:20,276
and I'm told by my teacher
I am remarkably naturalistic.
957
00:49:20,278 --> 00:49:24,013
Yes, well, that's not
quite what you told me
two Abe Fieldings ago.
958
00:49:24,015 --> 00:49:27,182
Excuse me, they both believed
I was Mrs. Abe Fielding.
959
00:49:27,184 --> 00:49:31,319
Let me also add this.
I think my accent
was impeccable.
960
00:49:31,321 --> 00:49:35,956
Despite your
impeccable accent,
they both chose to leave.
961
00:49:35,958 --> 00:49:36,990
That's not my fault
as an actress.
962
00:49:36,992 --> 00:49:40,660
You can't just take
any nut out of a sanitarium
and expect me to convince him
963
00:49:40,662 --> 00:49:42,461
he's Abe Fielding.
That was not the job!
964
00:49:42,463 --> 00:49:46,465
I don't care
if they are convinced
that they're Abe Fielding.
965
00:49:46,467 --> 00:49:49,868
The job was simply
to entice them,
966
00:49:49,870 --> 00:49:52,203
to make them want
to be Abe Fielding,
967
00:49:52,205 --> 00:49:55,306
but these guys
are running from you
like the plague.
968
00:49:55,308 --> 00:49:57,241
I will not be handled.
969
00:49:57,243 --> 00:50:00,477
I told you that
when I took the job,
and it still goes.
970
00:50:00,479 --> 00:50:03,746
And if that's changed,
I don't want the job anyway.
971
00:50:03,748 --> 00:50:05,080
That is just fine.
That's fine!
972
00:50:05,082 --> 00:50:08,416
Give my regards
to your friends down
at the unemployment office,
973
00:50:08,418 --> 00:50:11,185
Miss Mimi Kravetz,
professional actress.
974
00:50:11,187 --> 00:50:15,589
You're going to be spending
a lot of time with them!
975
00:50:15,791 --> 00:50:19,893
You know, you've got
an unerring instinct
for the jugular.
976
00:50:19,895 --> 00:50:22,328
I'd like
that last Fielding back.
977
00:50:22,330 --> 00:50:26,098
Uh-huh. The liar.
A liar is perfect.
978
00:50:26,500 --> 00:50:27,832
No, no, not him.
979
00:50:27,834 --> 00:50:30,935
Come on,
I felt sorry for that guy.
980
00:50:30,937 --> 00:50:33,470
Why on Earth would you
feel sorry for him?
981
00:50:33,472 --> 00:50:35,705
Nothing bad's
gonna happen to him.
982
00:50:35,707 --> 00:50:37,473
Would you like a cappuccino?
983
00:50:37,475 --> 00:50:37,973
All right,
984
00:50:37,975 --> 00:50:40,108
but, no,
not that poor chump.
985
00:50:40,110 --> 00:50:41,242
I think he was soft on me.
986
00:50:41,244 --> 00:50:46,680
Why wouldn't he
be soft on you?
You're a beautiful girl.
987
00:50:49,084 --> 00:50:50,783
Sit down.
988
00:50:53,687 --> 00:50:55,153
Here.
989
00:50:56,289 --> 00:51:00,658
Look, what say
you take another
crack at that role?
990
00:51:00,660 --> 00:51:03,260
He's not gonna come back
without his friend.
991
00:51:03,262 --> 00:51:06,830
Don't worry about him.
His friend is mine
for bail money.
992
00:51:06,832 --> 00:51:08,798
What do you mean?
He's in jail?
993
00:51:08,800 --> 00:51:09,732
I had him arrested.
994
00:51:09,734 --> 00:51:11,233
The schmuck stole
Abe's credit cards.
995
00:51:11,235 --> 00:51:16,171
Bail money? You want me
to work your little scam
for bail money?
996
00:51:16,173 --> 00:51:19,440
Shh! Now, no one is trying
to get you to run anything.
997
00:51:19,442 --> 00:51:22,409
I just want you
to bring your friend
back for one week.
998
00:51:22,411 --> 00:51:28,448
Unless you want to stay
in here, I suggest
you do as I ask.
999
00:51:28,817 --> 00:51:31,984
Tell me, is this
a sink or a toilet?
1000
00:51:31,986 --> 00:51:33,852
Stick your head in it
and find out.
1001
00:51:33,854 --> 00:51:35,386
Let me explain
something to you.
1002
00:51:35,388 --> 00:51:38,455
I don't work with amateurs,
like singers and actors.
1003
00:51:38,457 --> 00:51:42,192
There's only one singer
involved in this,
and that's Mimi Kravetz.
1004
00:51:42,194 --> 00:51:46,563
The rest of these people
happen to be damn fine actors.
1005
00:51:46,565 --> 00:51:47,931
I cast them myself.
1006
00:51:47,933 --> 00:51:51,301
That's Jerome Handy
as Al, the bookie.
1007
00:51:51,303 --> 00:51:56,906
You know him from... Did you
see his Man of La Mancha
at the Pasadena Playhouse?
1008
00:51:56,908 --> 00:51:59,642
I'm afraid I missed that.
Well, it was super. Super.
1009
00:51:59,644 --> 00:52:03,579
You've never run
a professional scam
in your life, have you?
1010
00:52:03,581 --> 00:52:08,650
No, of course not.
I'm a legitimate
businessman.
1011
00:52:08,818 --> 00:52:10,617
I run Abe's business.
1012
00:52:10,619 --> 00:52:11,517
I thought so.
1013
00:52:11,519 --> 00:52:15,387
A professional
would never use amateurs.
1014
00:52:15,389 --> 00:52:16,121
They crack out of turn.
1015
00:52:16,123 --> 00:52:17,989
"Crack out of turn."
I don't know
what that means.
1016
00:52:17,991 --> 00:52:23,861
It means that I'm
a professional con man. This
is what I do for a living.
1017
00:52:23,863 --> 00:52:26,897
What you got here
is not a professional con.
1018
00:52:26,899 --> 00:52:30,967
What I got here
is 10,000 bucks.
1019
00:52:30,969 --> 00:52:35,905
It's for you if you
bring your friend back
for one week.
1020
00:52:36,507 --> 00:52:37,239
(SIGHS)
1021
00:52:37,241 --> 00:52:38,974
You gotta tell me
more of the scam.
1022
00:52:38,976 --> 00:52:41,376
(GROANS)
I will in due time.
1023
00:52:41,378 --> 00:52:43,044
Excuse me.
1024
00:52:43,046 --> 00:52:45,279
Oh, please.
1025
00:52:45,547 --> 00:52:49,715
Look, just take five grand now
as a down payment, okay?
1026
00:52:49,717 --> 00:52:53,051
I don't usually work
with amateurs,
1027
00:52:53,053 --> 00:52:58,389
but you've caught me
at the right time.
1028
00:53:03,129 --> 00:53:06,063
Wish me luck.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
1029
00:53:06,065 --> 00:53:07,898
What's the matter?
Nothing's the matter.
1030
00:53:07,900 --> 00:53:11,034
I just gotta pave
the way for you.
What do you mean?
1031
00:53:11,036 --> 00:53:13,703
I mean, I talked to her
doctor-psychiatrist person.
1032
00:53:13,705 --> 00:53:17,873
You gotta take it
slow and easy
with this George shit.
1033
00:53:17,875 --> 00:53:21,142
She still thinks
you're Abe.
1034
00:53:21,544 --> 00:53:22,676
All right?
She's in denial.
1035
00:53:22,678 --> 00:53:28,481
She's got what they call,
medically speaking,
a bum head.
1036
00:53:28,916 --> 00:53:29,414
Oh, dear.
1037
00:53:29,416 --> 00:53:33,584
After I talk to her,
you can come up
and do your stuff.
1038
00:53:33,586 --> 00:53:37,054
Okay. Don't be long.
1039
00:53:40,959 --> 00:53:43,626
Hey, am I interrupting?
1040
00:53:43,628 --> 00:53:46,128
It's the Thriller from Manila.
1041
00:53:46,130 --> 00:53:48,663
That's me. The old...
1042
00:53:49,532 --> 00:53:52,266
Fourteen rounds, you know?
1043
00:53:52,268 --> 00:53:53,834
I was scared to go 15.
1044
00:53:53,836 --> 00:53:55,402
Oh, yeah.
1045
00:53:55,504 --> 00:53:57,103
Did Dibbs tell you I'm in?
1046
00:53:57,105 --> 00:53:59,305
Yeah, he told me.
1047
00:54:00,141 --> 00:54:03,242
Uh, Seppo, could you
leave us for a minute?
1048
00:54:03,244 --> 00:54:06,144
Yeah, Seppo,
I'll take over from here.
1049
00:54:06,146 --> 00:54:07,411
What do you want?
1050
00:54:07,413 --> 00:54:13,683
I just want to tell you,
I think the guy's in love
with you. He's downstairs.
1051
00:54:19,791 --> 00:54:22,458
Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.
1052
00:54:22,460 --> 00:54:25,327
Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.
1053
00:54:25,462 --> 00:54:31,165
Hey, Duane,
give the man a break.
Come on!
1054
00:54:31,468 --> 00:54:34,168
I'll let you hump my leg.
Come on, baby.
1055
00:54:34,170 --> 00:54:38,605
Hey, it's all right, George.
You can come out now.
1056
00:54:40,075 --> 00:54:42,442
Good boy. Good boy.
1057
00:54:42,577 --> 00:54:45,778
Hello, guess who's here?
1058
00:54:46,413 --> 00:54:50,181
Oh, honey, I'm home,
1059
00:54:50,416 --> 00:54:52,916
and I'm ready for love.
1060
00:54:53,151 --> 00:54:54,717
Oh, boy.
1061
00:54:54,885 --> 00:54:57,418
Honey, it's me.
1062
00:54:57,420 --> 00:54:58,585
Eddie, hiya.
1063
00:54:58,587 --> 00:55:02,555
Remember me
from in the car downstairs
a little while ago?
1064
00:55:02,557 --> 00:55:05,024
I made a joke, Eddie.
1065
00:55:05,026 --> 00:55:06,125
Am I interrupting something?
1066
00:55:06,127 --> 00:55:09,394
No, we're just
talking and...
Never mind.
1067
00:55:09,396 --> 00:55:11,896
You two keep talking,
get together.
1068
00:55:11,898 --> 00:55:13,964
See you later, Eddie.
You're damn right.
1069
00:55:13,966 --> 00:55:16,866
Como esta, mi chiquita caliente?
1070
00:55:17,301 --> 00:55:19,534
Molto bueno.
1071
00:55:19,736 --> 00:55:23,204
So, long time no see.
What are you doing here?
1072
00:55:23,206 --> 00:55:26,073
I brought you some candy
and some flowers
1073
00:55:26,075 --> 00:55:28,608
and to tell you
that you and I
had something, Elaine.
1074
00:55:28,610 --> 00:55:31,110
I saw it in your eyes
last week,
and Eddie saw it, too.
1075
00:55:31,112 --> 00:55:34,580
So don't deny it.
So what are you saying here,
that you'd like to stay?
1076
00:55:34,582 --> 00:55:38,750
Would I like to stay?
Would I like
to stay here with you?
1077
00:55:38,752 --> 00:55:40,318
Are you kidding?
1078
00:55:40,320 --> 00:55:41,252
Whoa!
1079
00:55:41,254 --> 00:55:45,155
If I could stay here with you,
I would climb... I would...
I would swim.
1080
00:55:45,157 --> 00:55:49,459
I would make myself into a...
I would stay here forever
if you'd let me, Elaine.
1081
00:55:49,461 --> 00:55:54,664
Let's just see if we can
get along, okay, doll?
For, say, a week or so.
1082
00:55:54,666 --> 00:55:56,732
Well, I want much more
than that, Elaine.
1083
00:55:56,734 --> 00:56:00,769
I want to know everything
about you, and I'd like you
to know all about me, too.
1084
00:56:00,771 --> 00:56:04,506
We might just find
out that we have
a lot in common.
1085
00:56:04,508 --> 00:56:07,809
What... What... What
could we have in common?
1086
00:56:07,811 --> 00:56:09,811
Basil. I love basil.
1087
00:56:09,813 --> 00:56:11,112
Do you like basil?
1088
00:56:11,114 --> 00:56:11,979
It doesn't sweep me
off my feet.
1089
00:56:11,981 --> 00:56:16,350
Try this. My favorite color
is brown, I subscribe
to the Reader's Digest,
1090
00:56:16,352 --> 00:56:18,285
I love yodeling,
and my favorite food is
1091
00:56:18,287 --> 00:56:20,220
wiener schnitzel
with rot kraut
and kartoffeln.
1092
00:56:20,222 --> 00:56:22,222
Do you like wiener schnitzel
with rot kraut and kartoffeln?
1093
00:56:22,224 --> 00:56:25,225
You do! I hit a bone!
I hit a nerve!
1094
00:56:25,227 --> 00:56:28,027
I hit something.
I can see it in your eyes.
You like it, too.
1095
00:56:28,029 --> 00:56:31,797
I'm gonna
win you over, Elaine.
I'm gonna romance you.
1096
00:56:31,799 --> 00:56:33,465
I'll wine you,
and I'll dine you.
1097
00:56:33,467 --> 00:56:38,770
And one day,
you're gonna feel about me
the way I feel about you.
1098
00:56:50,150 --> 00:56:50,548
Wow!
1099
00:56:50,550 --> 00:56:55,386
You look really familiar.
How you doin', legs?
1100
00:56:55,388 --> 00:56:58,722
The name is Gloria,
not legs.
1101
00:56:58,957 --> 00:56:59,588
You!
You?
1102
00:56:59,590 --> 00:57:02,090
I've been dreaming
about you.
What are you doing here?
1103
00:57:02,092 --> 00:57:06,761
I'm here to see Dibbs. I got
an important appointment.
1104
00:57:06,763 --> 00:57:08,129
Yeah, right.
1105
00:57:08,131 --> 00:57:10,731
Gloria, this report... Eddie.
1106
00:57:10,733 --> 00:57:13,066
Eddie!
Dibbsy! How's the boy?
1107
00:57:13,068 --> 00:57:15,268
I'm glad
you could make it.
I guess this can wait.
1108
00:57:15,270 --> 00:57:17,503
Ever been
to a brewery before?
No.
1109
00:57:17,505 --> 00:57:19,972
How about a little tour?
That would be great.
1110
00:57:19,974 --> 00:57:23,008
Listen, are you busy
Saturday night?
1111
00:57:23,010 --> 00:57:25,677
Maybe. Maybe not.
1112
00:57:25,679 --> 00:57:28,046
That's nice.
I like that.
1113
00:57:28,048 --> 00:57:30,181
I'll see you
Saturday night, okay?
1114
00:57:30,183 --> 00:57:33,784
You payin'?
(SCOFFS) That's cute.
1115
00:57:33,786 --> 00:57:37,053
Fine thing. Jeez.
1116
00:57:37,055 --> 00:57:43,025
When Abe Fielding Sr. died,
everyone assumed
I would inherit the brewery.
1117
00:57:43,027 --> 00:57:44,559
Then, it turns out
he has a son.
1118
00:57:44,561 --> 00:57:46,427
Can we talk about
Gloria for a minute?
Later.
1119
00:57:46,429 --> 00:57:50,464
As I was saying,
we finally track down
this Abe Jr.
1120
00:57:50,466 --> 00:57:54,935
10 minutes after
an ugly accident during
a monk dance of death.
1121
00:57:54,937 --> 00:57:56,536
The guy had
gone off to Tibet.
1122
00:57:56,538 --> 00:57:57,470
Now can we
talk about Gloria?
1123
00:57:57,472 --> 00:58:02,908
Do you mind?
Anyway, the only way to keep
the estate out of probate
1124
00:58:02,910 --> 00:58:04,776
was to convince someone
to be Abe Jr.
1125
00:58:04,778 --> 00:58:07,111
We found George
in the loony bin,
a liar. Get it?
1126
00:58:07,113 --> 00:58:11,949
So we doctored up
a photograph, hired a couple
actors, and here we are.
1127
00:58:11,951 --> 00:58:13,984
Does she always
look that good?
1128
00:58:13,986 --> 00:58:18,955
Sorry. I think I'll find out for myself Saturday night.
1129
00:58:42,413 --> 00:58:46,448
Maybe we could go
and do a little padumph.
Padumph?
1130
00:58:46,450 --> 00:58:49,150
Yeah.
Hmm. Never done
that before.
1131
00:58:49,152 --> 00:58:51,452
I think you'll enjoy it.
1132
00:58:55,724 --> 00:58:57,190
See that guy over there?
1133
00:58:57,192 --> 00:59:00,693
He's one of the greatest
sax players I've ever heard.
1134
00:59:00,695 --> 00:59:02,861
What's his name?
1135
00:59:05,098 --> 00:59:08,466
Eddie. Eddie Dash, right?
1136
00:59:08,468 --> 00:59:10,634
Yeah, amazing.
1137
00:59:13,305 --> 00:59:18,675
Ladies and gentlemen, we have someone very special here tonight.
1138
00:59:18,677 --> 00:59:21,844
One of the greatest sax players around,
1139
00:59:21,846 --> 00:59:25,948
the one and only Mr. Eddie Dash!
1140
00:59:26,817 --> 00:59:28,149
No, no.
1141
00:59:29,785 --> 00:59:32,452
You don't...
See, but that's the wrong...
1142
00:59:32,454 --> 00:59:34,687
Come on, man. Come on up.
1143
00:59:34,689 --> 00:59:37,022
EDDIE: Oh, God, no.
1144
00:59:37,891 --> 00:59:38,990
Huh? Oh!
1145
00:59:38,992 --> 00:59:42,460
Go on up.
Don't be modest.
Just go.
1146
00:59:42,462 --> 00:59:45,029
Just go?
Yeah, go.
1147
00:59:46,499 --> 00:59:51,134
I... No. Me?
I... No, no...
1148
00:59:51,136 --> 00:59:55,605
(MUMBLING)
1149
00:59:55,607 --> 00:59:56,973
What will it be?
1150
00:59:56,975 --> 01:00:00,076
Uh, it really
doesn't matter.
1151
01:00:00,078 --> 01:00:01,143
The guy's a pro.
1152
01:00:01,145 --> 01:00:04,646
Okay. A-one, two,
a-one, two, three.
1153
01:00:04,648 --> 01:00:08,483
(BAND PLAYING JAZZ MUSIC)
1154
01:00:27,470 --> 01:00:29,470
(OFF-KEY)
1155
01:00:38,214 --> 01:00:42,616
MAN: Miles Davis' twin...
1156
01:00:42,751 --> 01:00:45,318
That guy could
rip the pages.
1157
01:00:48,423 --> 01:00:50,356
Everybody!
1158
01:00:56,630 --> 01:00:59,297
(CROWD CHEERING)
1159
01:01:02,201 --> 01:01:04,034
Oh, my god.
1160
01:01:15,313 --> 01:01:17,646
Hi. Hiya.
1161
01:01:17,648 --> 01:01:19,214
You know a lot
of people here.
1162
01:01:19,216 --> 01:01:21,950
I used to come here
all the time.
1163
01:01:22,953 --> 01:01:26,754
This is us, honey.
This is your table.
1164
01:01:32,061 --> 01:01:34,561
Would you excuse me
for a minute?
1165
01:01:34,563 --> 01:01:36,029
Yes.
1166
01:01:36,331 --> 01:01:38,764
(SPEAKING GERMAN)
1167
01:01:39,933 --> 01:01:42,199
Here's the music.
1168
01:01:48,874 --> 01:01:50,573
Uri?
1169
01:01:50,942 --> 01:01:53,409
Good evening, honey.
1170
01:01:56,347 --> 01:01:59,881
You know, as we look towards the east
1171
01:01:59,883 --> 01:02:04,385
and see a united Deutschland, it behooves us to stop and think
1172
01:02:04,387 --> 01:02:09,823
about what walls can do, walls between nations,
1173
01:02:10,792 --> 01:02:13,392
walls between peoples
1174
01:02:14,928 --> 01:02:18,829
and walls between you and me, Elaine.
1175
01:02:18,997 --> 01:02:19,996
(GROANS)
1176
01:02:19,998 --> 01:02:23,466
But if that darn wall in Berlin can come down,
1177
01:02:23,468 --> 01:02:25,935
then maybe it's not too much to expect
1178
01:02:25,937 --> 01:02:28,737
the wall between us to come down, too.
1179
01:02:28,739 --> 01:02:32,774
Who knows? Maybe it just takes a dance
1180
01:02:32,776 --> 01:02:33,908
(BAND PLAYING CHORD)
1181
01:02:33,910 --> 01:02:35,943
or a glance
1182
01:02:36,578 --> 01:02:37,843
or a chance to...
1183
01:02:37,845 --> 01:02:39,845
(BAND PLAYING CHORD)
1184
01:02:39,980 --> 01:02:42,013
To sing a song.
1185
01:02:42,648 --> 01:02:46,583
I call this Yodelaine.
1186
01:02:46,885 --> 01:02:48,551
(GROANS)
1187
01:02:48,819 --> 01:02:51,719
MAN 1: Get off the stage!
1188
01:02:51,721 --> 01:02:52,720
MAN 2: Sit down!
1189
01:02:52,722 --> 01:02:55,689
¶ Yodel
1190
01:02:55,757 --> 01:02:58,591
¶ Elaine
1191
01:02:58,593 --> 01:03:01,727
¶ My heart's aflame
1192
01:03:01,729 --> 01:03:04,262
(YODELING)
1193
01:03:05,999 --> 01:03:07,331
¶ Yodelaine
1194
01:03:07,333 --> 01:03:10,367
¶ I'm not insane
1195
01:03:10,802 --> 01:03:12,802
(YODELING)
1196
01:03:19,043 --> 01:03:21,376
¶ Yodelaine
1197
01:03:21,378 --> 01:03:24,045
¶ You screwed my brain
1198
01:03:24,047 --> 01:03:26,180
(YODELING)
1199
01:03:28,184 --> 01:03:30,484
¶ My Elaine
1200
01:03:30,486 --> 01:03:32,486
¶ I love you ¶
1201
01:03:33,088 --> 01:03:35,021
(YODELING)
1202
01:03:37,058 --> 01:03:39,892
(YODELING)
1203
01:03:50,771 --> 01:03:53,071
(BOTH YODELING)
1204
01:03:54,874 --> 01:03:59,743
Oh, my god!
It's Mimi Kravetz!
1205
01:04:35,714 --> 01:04:39,482
Don't tell anybody
about this.
What?
1206
01:04:45,423 --> 01:04:48,056
(ELAINE WHISTLING)
1207
01:04:51,628 --> 01:04:54,662
(HUMMING
I'M IN THE MOOD FOR LOVE)
1208
01:04:54,664 --> 01:04:57,031
¶ I'm in the mood for love
1209
01:04:57,033 --> 01:04:58,499
Damn.
1210
01:04:59,335 --> 01:05:02,669
¶ Bright as the sun
1211
01:05:02,971 --> 01:05:06,205
¶ Oh, is it any wonder
1212
01:05:06,207 --> 01:05:09,508
¶ I'm in the mood for love ¶
1213
01:05:09,943 --> 01:05:10,708
(HUMMING)
1214
01:05:10,710 --> 01:05:14,078
Hey, what are you
doing up there?
1215
01:05:14,080 --> 01:05:15,712
I know you're
in the swing of things,
1216
01:05:15,714 --> 01:05:18,247
but we got business
to take care of.
1217
01:05:18,249 --> 01:05:18,814
What business?
1218
01:05:18,816 --> 01:05:22,617
We gotta check him
into the dentist
as Abe Fielding.
1219
01:05:22,619 --> 01:05:23,017
Why?
1220
01:05:23,019 --> 01:05:26,086
Dibbs wants to see
his dental charts.
1221
01:05:27,022 --> 01:05:29,957
Oh. Bye-bye.
1222
01:05:29,959 --> 01:05:31,959
(YODELING)
1223
01:05:31,961 --> 01:05:33,694
(GEORGE YODELING)
1224
01:05:33,696 --> 01:05:38,265
DENTIST:
Mr. Fielding, are you
still feeling the effects?
1225
01:05:38,267 --> 01:05:40,800
ASSISTANT:
Can you say something?
1226
01:05:40,802 --> 01:05:45,471
Don't call my friend
a shithead.
1227
01:05:46,440 --> 01:05:48,339
Of course he has.
1228
01:05:48,341 --> 01:05:52,309
Well, okay.
Now, Mr. Fielding,
1229
01:05:52,311 --> 01:05:54,344
you just have one cavity,
1230
01:05:54,346 --> 01:05:58,281
so all you will hear
is the sound of the drill.
1231
01:05:58,783 --> 01:06:00,783
Tsk. Tsk.
1232
01:06:00,785 --> 01:06:02,117
Tragic.
1233
01:06:02,119 --> 01:06:04,185
Were there
any survivors?
1234
01:06:04,187 --> 01:06:04,919
No one.
1235
01:06:04,921 --> 01:06:06,954
The thing blew up.
Oh, how awful.
1236
01:06:06,956 --> 01:06:12,059
It says here
that the bodies were charred
beyond recognition.
1237
01:06:12,061 --> 01:06:13,060
Oh, my god.
1238
01:06:13,062 --> 01:06:15,862
Well, at least
they'll know
who they're burying.
1239
01:06:15,864 --> 01:06:19,065
How would they know
who they're burying?
1240
01:06:19,067 --> 01:06:20,733
From the dental records.
1241
01:06:20,735 --> 01:06:22,367
They'll check
the dental records.
1242
01:06:22,369 --> 01:06:25,436
Oh, yeah,
you're right.
1243
01:06:30,443 --> 01:06:32,643
George! George!
1244
01:06:32,645 --> 01:06:36,480
Abe? Abe Fielding,
what cubicle is he in, please?
1245
01:06:36,482 --> 01:06:37,848
Who?
You don't know?
1246
01:06:37,850 --> 01:06:40,383
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
it's not what you think.
1247
01:06:40,385 --> 01:06:42,752
Then why does Dibbs
want the dental charts?
Come on.
1248
01:06:42,754 --> 01:06:47,089
I made a deal with George.
He's gonna hang out
till the end of the week,
1249
01:06:47,091 --> 01:06:49,491
and then I get my money.
1250
01:06:49,493 --> 01:06:52,393
George? Honey?
1251
01:06:52,695 --> 01:06:53,694
Abe?
1252
01:06:53,696 --> 01:06:54,261
(WOMAN SCREAMS)
1253
01:06:54,263 --> 01:06:56,596
Getting killed
was not part of the deal.
1254
01:06:56,598 --> 01:07:00,733
Dibbs would never
kill anyone.
It's not in him.
1255
01:07:01,535 --> 01:07:02,667
(GAS HISSING)
1256
01:07:02,669 --> 01:07:03,167
Excuse me.
1257
01:07:03,169 --> 01:07:04,835
What is the
meaning of this?
1258
01:07:04,837 --> 01:07:07,504
Sweetheart, we're getting
out of here.
No. I'm sorry.
1259
01:07:07,506 --> 01:07:09,839
Who is this woman?
Excuse me.
You're not allowed in here.
1260
01:07:09,841 --> 01:07:13,409
Get her out of here.
Dibbs wants you dead,
all right?
1261
01:07:13,411 --> 01:07:15,778
Get this.
This is a dental office.
1262
01:07:15,780 --> 01:07:22,518
He wants you dead so that
he can bury you as Fielding
and inherit the company.
1263
01:07:26,290 --> 01:07:27,722
You must all leave!
1264
01:07:27,724 --> 01:07:28,489
No, no.
1265
01:07:28,491 --> 01:07:31,458
No, she leaves.
I leave. He stays.
1266
01:07:31,460 --> 01:07:36,029
Yes.
No, no, I leave.
You leave. He leaves.
1267
01:07:36,031 --> 01:07:37,363
No, he must stay!
1268
01:07:37,365 --> 01:07:40,165
He has a cavity.
You leave.
1269
01:07:40,167 --> 01:07:41,933
You have a cavity.
What about him?
1270
01:07:41,935 --> 01:07:45,970
Open your mouth!
Say, "Ah."
Show us your cavity.
1271
01:07:45,972 --> 01:07:51,542
ALL: Ah.
1272
01:07:51,777 --> 01:07:55,278
Oh, you got a rise,
Mr. Fielding.
1273
01:07:55,280 --> 01:07:58,581
Wait a minute.
Oh, darling.
Ride 'em, cowboy!
1274
01:07:58,583 --> 01:08:01,016
No, it's pretty good.
1275
01:08:02,919 --> 01:08:04,952
Of all the gall!
1276
01:08:05,587 --> 01:08:10,222
Did I ever say
that anything bad
was gonna happen to him?
1277
01:08:10,224 --> 01:08:13,758
You never said it to me.
He never said it to me.
1278
01:08:13,760 --> 01:08:16,827
What was the point
of taking him to all those
doctors and dentists, then?
1279
01:08:16,829 --> 01:08:21,665
MIMI: Wait a minute.
It was to establish that
he was Abe Fielding, right?
1280
01:08:21,667 --> 01:08:22,532
Yes, yes, that is right.
1281
01:08:22,534 --> 01:08:25,468
And that is because
there are certain
financial transactions
1282
01:08:25,470 --> 01:08:29,205
I just can't make unless
Abe Fielding is alive.
1283
01:08:29,207 --> 01:08:30,406
That's right.
1284
01:08:30,408 --> 01:08:31,507
You know, I want
to tell you something.
1285
01:08:31,509 --> 01:08:35,611
Frankly, I expected
more support out of you,
a little more gratitude.
1286
01:08:35,613 --> 01:08:38,914
For the money
I'm paying you, I could
have hired a real actress.
1287
01:08:38,916 --> 01:08:41,383
Oh! Oh! That's it.
That's the button.
1288
01:08:41,385 --> 01:08:43,017
You pushed it.
I'm out of here. Sayonara.
1289
01:08:43,019 --> 01:08:45,419
I'm going back
to my old job.
Oh, really? What is that?
1290
01:08:45,421 --> 01:08:49,623
Yodeling in
a hillbilly nightclub?
What does that pay, Mimi?
1291
01:08:49,625 --> 01:08:51,224
The man is just trying
to reassure you.
1292
01:08:51,226 --> 01:08:56,596
And by the way,
what business is it of yours
what happens to him?
1293
01:08:56,598 --> 01:08:58,397
I'm making it
my business, okay?
1294
01:08:58,399 --> 01:09:02,100
Oh, have we
fallen in love
with the lunatic?
1295
01:09:02,102 --> 01:09:05,536
Oh, no, no, hey,
the lady's not in love
with him. Honest.
1296
01:09:05,538 --> 01:09:08,639
She just don't want to get
involved in a murder rap.
1297
01:09:08,641 --> 01:09:11,141
Murder.
Wait for me
in the car.
1298
01:09:11,143 --> 01:09:14,978
You got his guarantee
there ain't gonna be no hit.
1299
01:09:14,980 --> 01:09:17,480
There better not be.
1300
01:09:21,385 --> 01:09:22,317
Actresses, you know,
1301
01:09:22,319 --> 01:09:25,219
you can't live with them,
and you can't kill them.
1302
01:09:25,221 --> 01:09:27,454
Everything's okay, right?
1303
01:09:27,456 --> 01:09:29,255
I mean,
it looks cool to me.
1304
01:09:29,257 --> 01:09:32,758
Well, not quite. Sit down.
1305
01:09:35,162 --> 01:09:37,529
You see,
there's one more thing
I need you to do.
1306
01:09:37,531 --> 01:09:42,433
Yeah, what?
I need you to dispose
of the lunatic.
1307
01:09:43,135 --> 01:09:45,068
Ice George?
1308
01:09:45,537 --> 01:09:49,372
I need Abe Fielding
dead and buried.
1309
01:09:49,374 --> 01:09:50,406
Ice George.
1310
01:09:50,408 --> 01:09:56,278
Please don't tell me
that you're above
this sort of thing.
1311
01:09:56,280 --> 01:09:58,880
I've never iced
anyone in my life.
1312
01:09:58,882 --> 01:10:00,214
I'm a con man,
not a hit man.
1313
01:10:00,216 --> 01:10:04,351
Well, I think you have
two qualities that are...
1314
01:10:04,353 --> 01:10:05,185
Don't touch me.
Okay.
1315
01:10:05,187 --> 01:10:13,026
First, you love money,
and second, you have
absolutely no moral character.
1316
01:10:13,094 --> 01:10:15,260
What do you say?
1317
01:10:19,165 --> 01:10:21,064
How much money
are we talking?
1318
01:10:21,066 --> 01:10:21,697
Name your price.
1319
01:10:21,699 --> 01:10:27,836
Look, Eddie,
just write down any figure
that you consider reasonable,
1320
01:10:27,838 --> 01:10:31,840
and I'll pay you
that amount in cash, okay?
1321
01:10:38,915 --> 01:10:41,782
(WHISPERING)
Come on. We gotta go.
We're late.
1322
01:10:41,784 --> 01:10:43,383
I want to kiss
her goodbye.
1323
01:10:43,385 --> 01:10:44,317
She can't know
about this.
1324
01:10:44,319 --> 01:10:47,687
I won't wake her.
Just one kiss.
1325
01:10:52,627 --> 01:10:55,594
Look at that face.
Isn't she cute?
1326
01:10:55,596 --> 01:10:57,629
Don't wake her up.
Come on, let's go.
1327
01:10:57,631 --> 01:10:59,797
What's that?
This is your gun.
1328
01:10:59,799 --> 01:11:01,899
I could never shoot...
Yikes!
1329
01:11:04,536 --> 01:11:06,202
Holy shit!
1330
01:11:09,874 --> 01:11:11,440
George?
1331
01:11:12,042 --> 01:11:13,875
George, what happened?
You all right?
1332
01:11:13,877 --> 01:11:16,777
Sorry, honey.
Fucking lunatic.
1333
01:11:27,022 --> 01:11:29,756
GEORGE: You know,
I've never been
in the woods before.
1334
01:11:29,758 --> 01:11:31,758
EDDIE: What?
The woods.
1335
01:11:31,760 --> 01:11:32,825
I've never been
in the woods before.
1336
01:11:32,827 --> 01:11:35,027
Oh. The most
important thing
you need to know
1337
01:11:35,029 --> 01:11:42,000
is if you see anything
that looks like poison ivy,
don't wipe your ass with it.
1338
01:11:45,305 --> 01:11:47,838
Hey, hey,
you old duck hunter!
1339
01:11:47,840 --> 01:11:49,706
Hiya, Dibbsy.
How's it going?
1340
01:11:49,708 --> 01:11:50,840
I'm fine.
How are you?
Good.
1341
01:11:50,842 --> 01:11:53,042
There he is.
Wouldn't miss it
for the world.
1342
01:11:53,044 --> 01:11:56,345
Damn ducks! What the hell
do we need those ducks for?
1343
01:11:56,347 --> 01:11:57,412
Bam! Bam! Bam!
1344
01:11:57,414 --> 01:11:59,714
What a day
to kill a duck, huh?
1345
01:11:59,716 --> 01:12:03,617
Maybe after the hunt,
we can shoot some billiards.
What do you say?
1346
01:12:03,619 --> 01:12:06,653
Here. I picked this
out for you myself
. Put it on.
1347
01:12:06,655 --> 01:12:09,656
What's that?
This is
your hunting jacket.
1348
01:12:09,658 --> 01:12:12,291
That's great.
1349
01:12:12,293 --> 01:12:13,425
Oh.
1350
01:12:13,427 --> 01:12:14,492
Thanks, Dibbsy.
1351
01:12:14,494 --> 01:12:15,392
EDDIE: It looks wonderful.
1352
01:12:15,394 --> 01:12:16,860
You know
who you look like?
Who?
1353
01:12:16,862 --> 01:12:18,461
Ernest Hemingway.
Honest?
1354
01:12:18,463 --> 01:12:19,628
Doesn't he?
Yeah.
1355
01:12:19,630 --> 01:12:25,533
I hate to rush, but something
unexpected has come up,
and I won't be going with you.
1356
01:12:25,535 --> 01:12:27,701
Why not?
Business.
That's life, huh?
1357
01:12:27,703 --> 01:12:33,540
Emergency at the plant.
But those ducks won't wait.
They don't care.
1358
01:12:33,542 --> 01:12:34,807
Come on, let's go.
1359
01:12:34,809 --> 01:12:36,008
Did you shoot all
these animals yourself?
1360
01:12:36,010 --> 01:12:39,644
No, you did. You and all
the Fieldings before you.
1361
01:12:39,646 --> 01:12:42,046
Ducks for dinner tonight!
Happy hunting!
1362
01:12:42,048 --> 01:12:45,349
EDDIE:
Hey, wait in the truck for me.
I gotta go to the bathroom.
1363
01:12:45,351 --> 01:12:46,917
Okey doke.
Happy hunting!
1364
01:12:46,919 --> 01:12:49,586
I gotta talk to you.
Sure.
1365
01:12:50,121 --> 01:12:50,486
What?
1366
01:12:50,488 --> 01:12:52,888
The deal was
you were supposed
to come with us.
1367
01:12:52,890 --> 01:12:55,323
What the fuck's
going on, Dibbsy?
1368
01:12:55,325 --> 01:12:55,956
Just relax, Eddie.
1369
01:12:55,958 --> 01:12:58,658
Just get him
in the duck blind,
blast a couple of ducks,
1370
01:12:58,660 --> 01:13:03,562
and then you yell,
"Look out! There's a bear!
Run for your life!"
1371
01:13:03,564 --> 01:13:04,396
Then you blast him.
1372
01:13:04,398 --> 01:13:05,897
There are no bears
in a duck blind.
1373
01:13:05,899 --> 01:13:08,799
It doesn't matter
whether there are
bears there or not!
1374
01:13:08,801 --> 01:13:10,000
Just yell, "Look out!
There's a bear!"
1375
01:13:10,002 --> 01:13:11,801
It will be over
before he knows
what happened.
1376
01:13:11,803 --> 01:13:15,805
Okay, but I want
the other half
of my money
1377
01:13:15,807 --> 01:13:18,240
before people find out
we're not burying Fielding.
1378
01:13:18,242 --> 01:13:22,010
There's no chance
of that happening.
I've got all the documents
1379
01:13:22,012 --> 01:13:23,878
to prove that
he is Abe Fielding.
1380
01:13:23,880 --> 01:13:28,816
So don't worry about it.
Come on!
1381
01:13:29,318 --> 01:13:31,017
This is
a really nice jacket
Dibbsy gave me.
1382
01:13:31,019 --> 01:13:33,986
It must have cost him
a pretty penny.
I like this jacket.
1383
01:13:33,988 --> 01:13:37,356
You gotta put
the collar up.
You gotta be cool.
1384
01:13:37,358 --> 01:13:38,323
How do you mean?
Here.
1385
01:13:38,325 --> 01:13:40,191
A little classier.
Wear it like that.
1386
01:13:40,193 --> 01:13:45,863
Cool? Cool, man, like you? I look like Eddie.
1387
01:13:46,699 --> 01:13:49,199
Yeah, very nice.
1388
01:13:49,334 --> 01:13:50,833
Ducks!
1389
01:14:04,014 --> 01:14:07,415
EDDIE: Whoa, now.
Take it easy.
1390
01:14:10,653 --> 01:14:11,952
Easy. Now!
1391
01:14:11,954 --> 01:14:16,323
Keep flying! Keep flying!
Go home! Go away!
There's people here with guns!
1392
01:14:16,325 --> 01:14:20,193
Get out of here!
Go back to your families!
Get out!
1393
01:14:20,195 --> 01:14:21,727
Get out! Get out!
1394
01:14:21,729 --> 01:14:22,894
Why did you do that?
1395
01:14:22,896 --> 01:14:24,528
To keep an innocent creature
from being killed
1396
01:14:24,530 --> 01:14:28,298
and to save you
from a lifetime
of heartache and guilt.
1397
01:14:28,300 --> 01:14:29,832
They're just ducks!
1398
01:14:29,834 --> 01:14:30,866
They're not just ducks!
1399
01:14:30,868 --> 01:14:32,067
They're alive!
They're like you and me!
1400
01:14:32,069 --> 01:14:38,006
They're not like you and me!
They fly around,
and they shit on people.
1401
01:14:38,942 --> 01:14:43,210
¶ Be kind to your web-footed friends
1402
01:14:43,212 --> 01:14:46,580
¶ 'Cause a duck could be
somebody's mother ¶
1403
01:14:46,582 --> 01:14:48,648
Can you freeze on
the "web-footed friend" shit?
1404
01:14:48,650 --> 01:14:52,585
Sorry, Eddie. I just
couldn't help to think
about those poor ducks.
1405
01:14:52,587 --> 01:14:53,920
What was that?
1406
01:14:53,922 --> 01:14:55,054
What was what?
1407
01:14:55,056 --> 01:14:56,588
I heard something.
What?
1408
01:14:56,590 --> 01:14:58,723
(BIRD SQUAWKING)
A bird?
1409
01:14:58,725 --> 01:15:00,024
It was a bear.
1410
01:15:00,026 --> 01:15:01,458
A bear!
1411
01:15:03,195 --> 01:15:04,160
Where?
1412
01:15:04,162 --> 01:15:05,895
Just... I'm gonna get it.
1413
01:15:05,897 --> 01:15:08,063
Eddie, do you see it?
1414
01:15:08,065 --> 01:15:09,531
No, but it's a bear.
1415
01:15:09,533 --> 01:15:10,732
Where is it now?
1416
01:15:10,734 --> 01:15:12,033
It's a brown bear.
1417
01:15:12,035 --> 01:15:13,868
A big brown bear?
1418
01:15:15,504 --> 01:15:18,171
Eddie, you were right.
1419
01:15:18,173 --> 01:15:18,938
I see it.
1420
01:15:18,940 --> 01:15:20,973
See, you put
one of these...
1421
01:15:20,975 --> 01:15:22,841
Oh, my god.
1422
01:15:22,843 --> 01:15:24,175
(ROARING)
1423
01:15:24,177 --> 01:15:25,109
He's huge!
1424
01:15:25,111 --> 01:15:28,078
It's a great, giant bear!
1425
01:15:28,513 --> 01:15:30,846
(WHIMPERING)
1426
01:15:30,848 --> 01:15:34,783
Don't worry, Eddie.
Don't worry.
1427
01:15:34,951 --> 01:15:37,084
Sit. Sit, baby.
1428
01:15:37,086 --> 01:15:38,518
(WHIMPERING)
1429
01:15:38,520 --> 01:15:39,685
He's gonna rip off
your dick.
1430
01:15:39,687 --> 01:15:46,124
Hello, there.
You're a big fellow,
aren't you?
1431
01:15:47,260 --> 01:15:51,629
If you understand
what I'm saying,
raise your left hand.
1432
01:15:51,631 --> 01:15:53,931
Good. Now both.
Very good!
1433
01:15:53,933 --> 01:15:57,267
What the fuck are you doing?
1434
01:15:57,402 --> 01:15:59,835
We want to express
1435
01:16:00,337 --> 01:16:02,603
love for you.
1436
01:16:03,205 --> 01:16:06,239
Eddie and I
come in peace.
1437
01:16:07,008 --> 01:16:08,941
Well, I see
what you mean.
1438
01:16:08,943 --> 01:16:11,076
You make
a good point. Yes.
1439
01:16:11,078 --> 01:16:16,047
We saw some of your friends
mounted on the wall at
the lodge we just came from.
1440
01:16:16,049 --> 01:16:20,484
Eddie and I
found it disgusting.
Didn't we, Eddie?
1441
01:16:20,486 --> 01:16:24,654
Get the fuck out
of the way!
I'm gonna shoot it!
1442
01:16:24,656 --> 01:16:27,790
No, Eddie, don't shoot.
Don't shoot!
1443
01:16:27,792 --> 01:16:32,027
(SHOTGUN FIRING)
1444
01:16:39,269 --> 01:16:41,035
Well, kids,
1445
01:16:41,037 --> 01:16:47,107
I guess it's time
to ring down the curtain
on this production of ours.
1446
01:16:47,209 --> 01:16:49,909
I think we made a hit,
don't you?
1447
01:16:49,911 --> 01:16:54,947
Letitia, I prophesy
a big career for you.
I mean that, dear.
1448
01:16:54,949 --> 01:16:58,750
The memorial service
will be this afternoon
in the Fielding Chapel,
1449
01:16:58,752 --> 01:17:01,285
which is just adjoining
the brewery.
1450
01:17:01,287 --> 01:17:03,153
(CHUCKLING) Brewery.
1451
01:17:03,155 --> 01:17:05,221
I will be expecting
the three of you to attend.
1452
01:17:05,223 --> 01:17:08,958
Jerome, just think of it
as a curtain call.
1453
01:17:08,960 --> 01:17:12,261
So you're saying
that we're burying him
as Fielding
1454
01:17:12,263 --> 01:17:13,795
even though he wasn't
really Fielding?
1455
01:17:13,797 --> 01:17:16,430
Yes, I feel
it's the least
we can do.
1456
01:17:16,432 --> 01:17:20,033
The poor guy
had no family,
no friends.
1457
01:17:20,035 --> 01:17:24,637
It's a terrible tragedy,
but accidents happen.
1458
01:17:25,606 --> 01:17:28,039
Don't they, Eddie?
1459
01:17:28,408 --> 01:17:29,240
It was an accident.
1460
01:17:29,242 --> 01:17:33,410
Of course it was.
No one's saying
it wasn't, Eddie.
1461
01:17:33,412 --> 01:17:35,078
Nobody blames you.
1462
01:17:35,080 --> 01:17:38,247
How do we play this?
Like we knew him as Abe?
1463
01:17:38,249 --> 01:17:42,484
Yes, of course, Jerome.
That's the point, isn't it?
1464
01:17:42,486 --> 01:17:44,552
I want you to play it sad
but not morose.
1465
01:17:44,554 --> 01:17:48,088
Ken, upset,
but, please, no tears.
1466
01:17:49,024 --> 01:17:51,491
Poor guy. I feel awful.
1467
01:17:51,493 --> 01:17:52,558
Yes, you use that, Eleanor.
1468
01:17:52,560 --> 01:17:56,595
Save it for later and use it.
That's called method acting.
1469
01:17:56,597 --> 01:17:59,531
Look, everybody, I just want
to express my gratitude
1470
01:17:59,533 --> 01:18:04,469
to a very, very talented
ensemble of thespians. Bravo!
1471
01:18:04,471 --> 01:18:05,670
(DIBBS APPLAUDING)
1472
01:18:05,672 --> 01:18:07,171
Bravissimo!
1473
01:18:33,933 --> 01:18:37,167
Oh, for Pete's sake,
if we knew you were Abe,
1474
01:18:37,169 --> 01:18:41,070
we might have been able
to help you, George.
1475
01:18:44,708 --> 01:18:48,009
(AS PETER FALK)
Now, that
is a beautiful suit,
1476
01:18:48,011 --> 01:18:49,543
and that tie
matches perfectly,
1477
01:18:49,545 --> 01:18:52,546
but you need a handkerchief.
Get this man a handkerchief!
1478
01:18:52,548 --> 01:18:54,915
For heaven's sakes,
enough is enough!
Get over here!
1479
01:18:54,917 --> 01:18:57,350
Sit down in the pew,
shut up and be good.
1480
01:18:57,352 --> 01:19:00,786
Always said
you were full of shit.
1481
01:19:04,958 --> 01:19:08,025
Abe, we hardly knew you.
1482
01:19:09,228 --> 01:19:10,460
We knew your dad, though.
1483
01:19:10,462 --> 01:19:11,727
Many of us remember
putting to rest...
1484
01:19:11,729 --> 01:19:17,365
Rather, preserving
the great man right here
not so long ago,
1485
01:19:17,367 --> 01:19:23,938
and now father
and son can freeze
in peace together.
1486
01:19:25,041 --> 01:19:29,710
Uh, Abe's best friend,
Mr. Eddie Dash, is here.
1487
01:19:29,712 --> 01:19:30,877
He's gonna say a few words.
1488
01:19:30,879 --> 01:19:34,347
Eddie, come and say
a few words.
1489
01:19:37,151 --> 01:19:38,016
Mr. Dibbs?
What?
1490
01:19:38,018 --> 01:19:40,318
There is an extremely
urgent phone call for you.
1491
01:19:40,320 --> 01:19:41,652
Urgent?
Yes.
1492
01:19:41,654 --> 01:19:43,553
Okay.
1493
01:19:46,024 --> 01:19:48,557
Hey! Hey! Hands off!
1494
01:19:52,429 --> 01:19:55,763
Abe was a nice man.
1495
01:19:55,931 --> 01:19:57,263
Yes, he was.
1496
01:19:57,265 --> 01:19:58,797
Good man, Abe.
1497
01:19:58,799 --> 01:20:02,534
Uh, he liked basil.
1498
01:20:03,169 --> 01:20:03,700
He loved basil.
1499
01:20:03,702 --> 01:20:08,571
He used to say
basil was a herb
whose time had come.
1500
01:20:12,944 --> 01:20:14,376
Unfortunately, Abe,
1501
01:20:14,378 --> 01:20:16,845
it was you
whose time had come.
1502
01:20:16,847 --> 01:20:20,048
We used to smoke
basil together.
1503
01:20:20,050 --> 01:20:22,817
We'd get a natural high.
1504
01:20:23,653 --> 01:20:25,386
Smoked a lot, too.
1505
01:20:25,388 --> 01:20:27,321
And he loved to yodel.
1506
01:20:27,323 --> 01:20:29,690
Yodeling and magic,
that was his thing.
1507
01:20:29,692 --> 01:20:32,993
He always said
if he could combine the two,
1508
01:20:32,995 --> 01:20:35,595
he would yodel
from his grave.
1509
01:20:35,597 --> 01:20:38,364
I know that's impossible.
1510
01:20:38,366 --> 01:20:40,966
(FAINT YODELING)
Uh...
1511
01:20:53,613 --> 01:20:55,613
It's a miracle.
1512
01:21:04,490 --> 01:21:07,123
(YODELING)
1513
01:21:08,359 --> 01:21:11,159
Oh, my God!
1514
01:21:20,136 --> 01:21:20,767
Hi, everybody.
1515
01:21:20,769 --> 01:21:24,604
I'm very touched
that you all came
to my funeral.
1516
01:21:24,606 --> 01:21:27,039
I know this must be
a little con...
1517
01:21:27,041 --> 01:21:28,540
Honey!
1518
01:21:28,542 --> 01:21:31,042
Honey? What happened?
1519
01:21:31,044 --> 01:21:32,676
What's the matter, sweetheart?
1520
01:21:32,678 --> 01:21:34,611
What the hell is going on?
1521
01:21:34,613 --> 01:21:35,511
You tell me.
1522
01:21:35,513 --> 01:21:36,845
Did we rehearse this scene?
1523
01:21:36,847 --> 01:21:38,813
No.
No.
1524
01:21:47,456 --> 01:21:48,388
Ooh!
1525
01:21:48,390 --> 01:21:49,489
Just what are you doing, huh?
1526
01:21:49,491 --> 01:21:52,391
Have you completely lost
your tiny little mind?
1527
01:21:52,393 --> 01:21:55,260
You forget,
we're playing my game now.
1528
01:21:55,262 --> 01:21:55,793
Oh, really?
1529
01:21:55,795 --> 01:21:59,329
I've got news for you, pal.
I'm holdin' all the cards.
1530
01:21:59,331 --> 01:22:00,663
I can prove
you're a murderer.
1531
01:22:00,665 --> 01:22:03,365
I've got the whole
ugly business on tape.
1532
01:22:03,367 --> 01:22:05,767
Au contraire, my friend.
There was no murder,
1533
01:22:05,769 --> 01:22:10,271
but there was
a conspiracy to murder,
which I have on tape.
1534
01:22:10,273 --> 01:22:12,072
GEORGE: Honey.
1535
01:22:12,074 --> 01:22:14,908
Honey, can you hear me?
1536
01:22:15,176 --> 01:22:16,074
MIMI: You're alive!
1537
01:22:16,076 --> 01:22:17,475
Everything's
gonna be all right.
1538
01:22:17,477 --> 01:22:18,242
Eddie said he shot you.
1539
01:22:18,244 --> 01:22:19,409
No, that was all
part of the plan.
1540
01:22:19,411 --> 01:22:22,111
Didn't he tell you?
He was supposed to tell you.
Oh, baby!
1541
01:22:22,113 --> 01:22:25,280
We worked it all out
on the way to the lodge.
1542
01:22:25,282 --> 01:22:28,149
This is our
first meeting,
1543
01:22:28,151 --> 01:22:28,816
our second meeting.
1544
01:22:28,818 --> 01:22:32,486
This is a little
something for you,
you know, Johnny Mathis.
1545
01:22:32,488 --> 01:22:35,989
To help you make it
through the night.
1546
01:22:36,791 --> 01:22:42,294
And this file proves
that my man is Abe Fielding.
1547
01:22:42,296 --> 01:22:44,296
Your man is dead!
1548
01:22:44,298 --> 01:22:46,798
Wrong again, Dibbsy.
1549
01:22:47,000 --> 01:22:47,765
Carlos.
1550
01:22:47,767 --> 01:22:48,599
(SPEAKING PSEUDO ITALIAN)
1551
01:22:48,601 --> 01:22:51,535
What does that mean?
What does that mean?
What does he mean?
1552
01:22:51,537 --> 01:22:54,437
(SPEAKING PSEUDO ITALIAN)
1553
01:22:57,141 --> 01:22:59,141
We gotta get
out of here!
No, no, no.
1554
01:22:59,143 --> 01:23:00,642
We gotta go!
1555
01:23:00,644 --> 01:23:03,645
But I saw him lying
on a slab in the morgue!
1556
01:23:03,647 --> 01:23:05,013
That's right,
Eddie's got connections,
1557
01:23:05,015 --> 01:23:06,748
and the morgue attendant
owed him a favor.
1558
01:23:06,750 --> 01:23:09,450
Right, Eddie?
That's right.
1559
01:23:09,452 --> 01:23:10,150
Hello, everybody.
1560
01:23:10,152 --> 01:23:13,853
I know you must be
a little confused
about what's been going on,
1561
01:23:13,855 --> 01:23:16,322
but the important thing
that I want you to know
1562
01:23:16,324 --> 01:23:18,590
is that I'm back
at the brewery,
1563
01:23:18,592 --> 01:23:20,059
and you're all in
1564
01:23:20,061 --> 01:23:22,661
for a five percent raise.
1565
01:23:22,896 --> 01:23:24,695
Don't listen
to anything he says.
1566
01:23:24,697 --> 01:23:27,931
Don't listen!
He's full of shit!
1567
01:23:28,633 --> 01:23:30,332
Grab him!
1568
01:23:30,334 --> 01:23:31,266
(DIBBS GROANING)
1569
01:23:31,268 --> 01:23:32,300
You all right, sir?
We got you.
1570
01:23:32,302 --> 01:23:35,536
Get me up!
Get me up right now!
Right now!
1571
01:23:35,538 --> 01:23:37,504
You can't say we didn't try.
1572
01:23:37,506 --> 01:23:38,972
Cut him loose, Barney.
1573
01:23:38,974 --> 01:23:41,607
That man is an impostor!
1574
01:23:42,109 --> 01:23:43,975
What are you waiting for?
Cut me out of this!
1575
01:23:43,977 --> 01:23:47,144
He's not Abe Fielding, no.
I knew Abe Fielding.
1576
01:23:47,146 --> 01:23:49,746
Abe Fielding
was a friend of mine,
1577
01:23:49,748 --> 01:23:53,049
and this man
is not Abe Fielding.
1578
01:23:53,051 --> 01:23:54,984
But, Mr. Dibbs,
you just eulogized him.
1579
01:23:54,986 --> 01:23:56,452
You said,
"Abe, we hardly knew you."
1580
01:23:56,454 --> 01:23:57,619
And then
the other guy got up...
1581
01:23:57,621 --> 01:23:59,954
Shut up! Sit down.
Yes, sir.
1582
01:23:59,956 --> 01:24:01,188
You! You! You! You!
1583
01:24:01,190 --> 01:24:03,723
Did you or did you not
treat this man
1584
01:24:03,725 --> 01:24:04,623
in your lunatic asylum?
1585
01:24:04,625 --> 01:24:08,393
Sanitarium! Besides,
it was you who told us
he was Abe Fielding.
1586
01:24:08,395 --> 01:24:09,127
That's right, but he's not!
1587
01:24:09,129 --> 01:24:13,030
I challenge anyone
in this room to say
this man is Abe Fielding.
1588
01:24:13,032 --> 01:24:16,433
He's Abe Fielding.
I've been his bookie
for years.
1589
01:24:16,435 --> 01:24:17,567
Al, shut up.
1590
01:24:17,569 --> 01:24:20,937
He's one of our best friends.
Isn't that right, honey?
1591
01:24:20,939 --> 01:24:21,804
No, not now, you idiots!
1592
01:24:21,806 --> 01:24:24,006
Wait a minute.
I don't remember this scene.
1593
01:24:24,008 --> 01:24:26,975
Ladies and gentlemen,
these people,
they're merely actors.
1594
01:24:26,977 --> 01:24:28,343
Do you understand?
"Merely actors"?
1595
01:24:28,345 --> 01:24:31,512
Not very good ones at that.
Do you understand?
They're playing roles.
1596
01:24:31,514 --> 01:24:33,780
They're paid
to say these things.
1597
01:24:33,782 --> 01:24:38,985
(CHATTERING)
1598
01:24:39,487 --> 01:24:42,754
Point of order!
Point of order!
1599
01:24:44,224 --> 01:24:45,890
Ow!
1600
01:24:46,392 --> 01:24:50,360
Ronald Reagan
was merely an actor!
1601
01:24:54,499 --> 01:24:56,732
All right, all right.
Fine, fine.
1602
01:24:56,734 --> 01:24:59,501
Call the...
Are you the equity deputy?
1603
01:24:59,503 --> 01:25:02,170
Um... Boy, I don't
know what to say.
1604
01:25:02,172 --> 01:25:05,506
I feel like such a fool.
I'm sorry. I am.
1605
01:25:05,508 --> 01:25:07,074
I lost. You won.
Come on!
1606
01:25:07,076 --> 01:25:13,580
Let's bury the hatchet
over a stein of Fielding
in my... In your office, huh?
1607
01:25:13,582 --> 01:25:14,414
No, I don't think so.
1608
01:25:14,416 --> 01:25:15,915
Come on. Don't be
a spoilsport, Mimi!
1609
01:25:15,917 --> 01:25:17,349
George, we don't
have time for a drink.
1610
01:25:17,351 --> 01:25:18,717
Abe... George...
Whatever your name is.
1611
01:25:18,719 --> 01:25:21,886
No, no, no!
Listen, George...
1612
01:25:24,323 --> 01:25:28,158
Run! Run, run, run, run!
1613
01:25:29,227 --> 01:25:30,826
He's gonna kill him!
Oh, my God!
1614
01:25:30,828 --> 01:25:33,395
Get the casket.
Bring it down here, quick!
1615
01:25:33,397 --> 01:25:35,196
Come on, this way!
1616
01:25:42,705 --> 01:25:44,237
Come on! Let's go!
1617
01:25:44,239 --> 01:25:44,704
Move!
1618
01:25:44,706 --> 01:25:47,473
Hey!
Get out of there!
1619
01:25:47,842 --> 01:25:50,475
Break it through!
Shut up!
1620
01:26:25,512 --> 01:26:27,578
This is my brewery.
I earned it!
1621
01:26:27,580 --> 01:26:30,547
You want to be in beer?
Welcome to the beer business!
1622
01:26:30,549 --> 01:26:35,451
Dibbsy, I won't tell
the police
you tried to kill me.
1623
01:26:35,453 --> 01:26:36,919
The name is Mr. Dibbs!
1624
01:26:36,921 --> 01:26:38,754
(SCREAMING)
1625
01:26:40,924 --> 01:26:44,659
Help! Help me!
1626
01:26:47,163 --> 01:26:49,997
Eddie, I'm down here!
1627
01:26:50,132 --> 01:26:53,366
Help! Oh, God!
1628
01:26:56,003 --> 01:26:57,535
Eddie!
1629
01:27:05,378 --> 01:27:07,044
Eddie!
1630
01:27:07,546 --> 01:27:09,245
(SCREAMS)
1631
01:27:18,823 --> 01:27:20,155
MIMI:
All right, get the valve.
1632
01:27:20,157 --> 01:27:23,324
Get the valve.
George? George?
1633
01:27:24,627 --> 01:27:27,361
Hang on! Is this it?
1634
01:27:29,264 --> 01:27:33,899
George, don't worry.
Keep your
mouth shut in there.
1635
01:27:37,671 --> 01:27:40,371
GEORGE:
Eddie! Eddie! Eddie!
1636
01:27:40,373 --> 01:27:43,407
Did you hit that?
Did you hit that?
1637
01:27:44,276 --> 01:27:49,846
Will somebody
please tell me
what's going on?
1638
01:27:54,152 --> 01:27:56,652
MIMI: George? George?
1639
01:27:58,989 --> 01:28:00,855
(BELCHES)
1640
01:28:00,857 --> 01:28:03,624
Boy, that was good beer.
1641
01:28:03,626 --> 01:28:05,459
Oh, honey!
1642
01:28:05,928 --> 01:28:07,227
Ow!
1643
01:28:07,229 --> 01:28:08,328
MIMI: Oh, baby.
1644
01:28:08,330 --> 01:28:10,663
What did you do
with Dibbsy?
1645
01:28:10,665 --> 01:28:14,533
Guards, get him out of here.
1646
01:28:17,771 --> 01:28:22,673
He's not Fielding.
He's a liar.
The man's a liar.
1647
01:28:23,409 --> 01:28:24,408
You know,
if you lie about this,
1648
01:28:24,410 --> 01:28:28,145
you'll be lying
for the rest of your life,
you liar!
1649
01:28:28,147 --> 01:28:30,747
Liar! Liar!
1650
01:28:30,749 --> 01:28:32,915
Liar! Liar! Liar!
1651
01:28:32,917 --> 01:28:36,885
Honey, if I don't
tell the truth right now,
1652
01:28:36,887 --> 01:28:40,922
will you ever be able
to believe me again?
1653
01:28:41,090 --> 01:28:43,490
I love you, George.
1654
01:28:44,059 --> 01:28:45,725
George.
1655
01:28:45,793 --> 01:28:48,493
Walk like a man, George.
1656
01:28:50,029 --> 01:28:52,462
EDDIE:
Don't do anything stupid!
1657
01:28:52,464 --> 01:28:55,498
We're pissin' in tall cotton!
1658
01:28:57,602 --> 01:28:59,568
Sorry, everybody.
1659
01:28:59,570 --> 01:29:01,403
I have somethin'
I want to tell you.
1660
01:29:01,405 --> 01:29:05,807
Mr. Dibbs
was telling the truth
a little while ago.
1661
01:29:06,309 --> 01:29:07,741
I am a pathological liar.
1662
01:29:07,743 --> 01:29:12,212
I spent the last
three years of my life
in a sanitarium.
1663
01:29:12,214 --> 01:29:13,580
Shit, I'm broke.
1664
01:29:13,582 --> 01:29:18,117
I'm a Volvo dealer,
and my name happens to be
1665
01:29:18,486 --> 01:29:19,218
George.
1666
01:29:19,220 --> 01:29:20,919
This Fielding's a beauty.
1667
01:29:20,921 --> 01:29:23,187
George.
Get used to George.
1668
01:29:23,189 --> 01:29:26,823
George Washington,
as a matter of fact.
1669
01:29:26,825 --> 01:29:30,927
EDDIE: Hey, everybody,
take the rest
of the day off, okay?
1670
01:29:30,929 --> 01:29:35,197
And forget about
that five percent raise
when you come back.
1671
01:29:35,199 --> 01:29:37,599
It will be
a 10 percent raise!
1672
01:29:48,478 --> 01:29:49,109
Oh, honey.
1673
01:29:49,111 --> 01:29:54,114
ALL: (CHANTING)
Fielding! Fielding!
1674
01:29:55,183 --> 01:29:57,416
Stop fucking around!
1675
01:29:57,785 --> 01:29:58,650
Smile!
1676
01:29:58,652 --> 01:30:00,184
A little more!
1677
01:30:00,186 --> 01:30:02,319
All right, a little more.
1678
01:30:11,296 --> 01:30:14,463
Come on. Gloria,
can I have that card
for a minute?
1679
01:30:14,465 --> 01:30:16,131
Thank you.
And I need your lipstick.
1680
01:30:16,133 --> 01:30:20,001
What?
I don't wanna take a picture
with no lipstick.
1681
01:30:20,003 --> 01:30:21,235
I don't want no lipstick!
1682
01:30:21,237 --> 01:30:22,135
Yes, you'll like this one.
1683
01:30:22,137 --> 01:30:24,170
I don't want
no lipstick, okay?
1684
01:30:24,172 --> 01:30:24,803
I promise.
1685
01:30:24,805 --> 01:30:27,972
They'll put me in a magazine.
They'll take pictures.
1686
01:30:27,974 --> 01:30:30,507
It will be... Hey.
1687
01:30:32,344 --> 01:30:32,875
Great.
1688
01:30:32,877 --> 01:30:35,043
Hey, what are
you doing?
1689
01:30:35,045 --> 01:30:35,943
Putting my arm
around you.
1690
01:30:35,945 --> 01:30:39,646
I don't like to be touched.
Just keep your hands off!
1691
01:30:39,648 --> 01:30:42,281
What is wrong with you?
1692
01:34:26,340 --> 01:34:31,710
GEORGE: Don't ever call my friend a shithead again, okay?
126935
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