Original subtitles

In your hair...

- [Bhasskar] Mishra has done this. - [Rohan] Hey, wow.

Wishing you a very happy birthday, from Rohan.

Where were you?

Your friends are here.

First, clean your face. It's in your hair too.

Sorry, I don't recognize you.

How will you recognize me?

- We are meeting you for the first time. - Oh.

Oh, Rohan said my friends are here.

Bhasskar, he is my brother.

Oh. Greetings.

Is he the one for whom you left your four brothers?

Our brother-in-law.

No, you are mistaken.

No, we had a misunderstanding for the past three years.

Today the confusion has been cleared.

Isn't it, dear?

Hey, when did Bhasskar marry your sister?

I wasn't even there. Why are you calling him brother-in-law?

- Who the hell are you? - Who am I?

Bloody who am I! I am the God Indra, Devendra.

And you are standing in my heaven.

[Mishra] I am half-owner of this cafe.

And proprietor, director, designer, production manager of Mishralogy.

It is written in English.

Half friend of Bhasskar and complete mentor and CEO.

Talk to me.

Mishraji, three years ago,

Bhasskar had tricked and eloped with my sister.

I have come here now, to break his leg.

[Mahesh] Hey, what are you saying?

He is our brother-in-law.

Talk respectfully with him.

Bhasskar, these guys think,

you are the boy with whom I had eloped.

I will call Father and sort out everything.

You don't worry.

No, it is fine.

Let me talk.

Good you stopped him or else I would have shoved him.

Stop. He has a blood pressure problem.

This is a private matter.

Let us discuss this at home.

Let's go home, have tea and talk.

Why do you want to go home?

Discuss it here, whatever you want to.

And why do you always shut Mishra up?

If somebody comes and scolds you, we will not remain quiet.

You should not have spoken about breaking his leg.

Okay, we won't.

She is our sister and he eloped with her.

Why are you talking in the middle?

- Why shouldn't I? - Rohan, be quiet.

They agreed to come home. What is your problem?

No, we can't go home.

- Discuss it here. - Yes.

Hey, when we said

we will go home and discuss. Then we will do that.

[Rohan] Bro, when I said we can't go home,

then we can't go home.

Bloody motherf**kers,

I will call more people now.

Rohan, they are talking to me. What is your problem?

- Mishra, take care of him. - Yes, I have a problem.

- Take him away. - Let go of me!

Why are you being so destructive?

- Please try to understand. - Let us go.

Look they are going. Bro, leave me.

[Rohan] Bro, please stop.

- [Mishra] Hey, stop! - [Rohan] Where are you guys going?

[Rohan] Bhasskar.

[Door opens]

[Light Switches on]

[Vidhi] Happy birthday, Bhas...

Vidhi, they are my friends.

Which friends? I don't even know them.

[Bhasskar] They are my friends.

What is this?

Who is she?

She is...

[Rajiv] Brother is asking, will someone reply, who is she?

I am Vidhi Pandey, and why are you asking?

Vidhi Pandey, what are you doing here?

Have come to celebrate Bhasskar's birthday.

And how does it matter to you?

How are you related to Bhasskar?

I am his girlfriend.

Did you leave your family for this guy?

Are you not ashamed, Pakhi?

Our reputation in the village was ruined.

- And he... - Just a minute.

Don't talk nonsense in front of me.

How is this girl related to Bhasskar that she will run after him?

[Mahesh] She is his wife.

They both are married.

And the way you are getting excited.

You are not even related to him.

Vidhi.

Please listen to me.

Bro lets go home and talk.

- [Pakhi] Not here. - Be quiet.

Check on them. Let them talk but don't let him go. Go.

Hey you f**kers, will shove it into your ass,

will keep singing the birthday song.

- Mishra. - [Pakhi] Brother.

Stay where you are.

Vidhi, please let me explain.

You can't explain it to me.

- What happened inside is not-- - No.

I came here to give you a surprise.

I decorated your home along with Rohan.

As soon as he left, I found a girl's suitcase.

Every page had Bad Boy and Bad Girl written on it.

[Vidhi] But, Bhasskar, I didn't say a word to you.

Because I thought it was your birthday...

and you would explain this to me later.

It is always like that.

You make mistakes and explain it to me.

And I always forgive you. But this is about marriage.

How will you explain this?

[Vidhi] How will I forgive this?

- Vidhi. - Enough. Bhasskar Tripathi.

- I can't bear it anymore. - Please listen to me once.

I am going. And will not come back this time.

Vidhi...

Enough, brother-in-law.

- Where are you going? - Leave me.

- Where are you going? - Leave me.

- Come on! - Vidhi.

RAMGAD (UTTAR PRADESH)

Come in.

God bless you.

So, he is my son in law.

Listen dear, I have forgotten whatever that happened.

And you too, should erase it from your mind.

Forget everything.

I just want the next morning.

The beginning of it...

we begin with a new way

Daughter in law, they must be tired.

Show them to their rooms, let them rest.

Son-in-law, have some rest.

They should have welcomed us too.

Garlanded us. We too are the guests.

May there be dances with joy.

Drums and funfair.

Bloody f**ker, here I am shit scared.

And you are bothered about being welcomed. A**hole!

Greetings sir. This is Devendra Mishra,

half-owner of Devendram cafe.

CEO and proprietor of Mishralogy.

He is my assistant Rohan Yadav.

What are you staring, take his blessings? Properly.

It is fine.

I am Bhasskar's childhood buddy.

Dinesh, show him his room.

Yes.

Mishra, I think it is very hot in here.

Should I make your bed on the terrace?

You will sleep better watching the stars.

[Dinesh] Let's go.

Lord, there are weird types of people on your earth.

Some are f**kers and some...

Are the greatest f**kers.

Go in.

Go on.

- Go inside, brother-in-law. - Yes, I am going.

Why are you so shy? Go in. Go.

Let's go.

Brother-in-law, so soon?

I have left my medicines with my friend.

So. I have to go to fetch it.

Oh okay. Medicines?

[Giggling]

They hanged the flowers for their daughter.

But forgot to ward off the mosquitoes.

These are pet mosquitoes. They are raised to bite us.

We will not die by captivity but by malaria.

Hey look, is there a secret tunnel?

Usually, such mansions have it. A secret passage.

What happened? Why are you panting?

They have decorated the room as if it is my wedding night.

- Wedding night? - Wow, bro.

Hey, you shut up.

The family is very smart.

I didn't know you would lose your virginity in this manner.

When the entire society want you to do it.

What can you do? You will have to do it.

Do it well. Do you have it?

Have you gone mad?

I have it with me.

[Mishra] You bloody Mr Condom!

Slap him bloody.

This f**ker moves around with a condom in his pocket...

and he is searching for true love.

I haven't kept it for myself.

Once I saw about population control on Discovery Channel.

They said it was compulsory to keep one.

- [Clapping] - Wow, excellent.

My life has become a joke.

And you are busy in advertising about condoms.

- Bloody f**kers. - [Mishra] Oh, sit down.

Listen, I had warned you. Don't make friends with her.

Hadn't I warned you?

But you said she is your friend, your writing partner.

I don't understand creativity.

But you have a platonic professional relationship with her.

I warned you not to be friends, not to sleep with her.

- Not to drink with her. - Even dating.

Warned you not to date her.

But you didn't pay any heed.

[Mishra] Had I not warned you?

Now no use, rotating your eyes all around.

- Had I not warned you? - Yes, you had.

But I didn't know I would have to face such a situation like this.

Look a great man once said.

"When life is f**king you. Then don't struggle."

Remain calm, if you struggle, it will hurt a lot.

But what to do about the decorations and everything else?

Tell them your stomach is upset.

[Mishra] You have piles and are constipated.

It is foolish to attack them directly.

Let me understand them a bit.

Let me know them better.

Then I will plan a strategy.

My local intelligence is missing.

Such gorillas are roaming around.

I am worried about Rohan's safety.

What will happen to me?

Wish something happens to you.

Chewed my brains.

Keep me informed about everything.

I am feeling cold.

Wish you could arrange for a fireplace.

f**ker, have you come here on a picnic?

"Fireplace!"

Should I shove you into the fire?

Come on, kill the mosquitoes.

Hold it.

Bhasskar.

You don't need to feel sorry, Pakhi.

Whatever happened, you were not aware of it.

It is not anybody's mistake.

Are you really not upset with me?

No, why will I be upset with you?

On the way in the car instead about my father and brothers...

I was worried about what will I tell you,

when we would be alone.

Pakhi, think of this as a problem.

We will solve it together.

let's sleep now, we'll talk tomorrow.

Bhasskar are you really not upset with me?

No.

I am not upset with you at all.

[Man 1] As you all are aware that Chaudhary Vishwanath.

And his three generations...

have successively been the village heads.

But three years ago, when Pakhi left our village.

More cases occurred because of Pakhi in our village.

Since then Chaudhary has taken all the responsibility,

and had given up being the village head.

Till Pakhi doesn't return to the village honourably.

Oh...

so this is the matter.

The brothers don't want the sister back,

but the post of being the village head.

Why can't I understand this politics?

To understand politics, you should have the face of a Doberman.

Not of a Pomeranian.

I am extremely pleased to say,

Pakhi has returned home, respectfully after the wedding.

Which wedding and which honour?

When I asked for proof,

they started threatening me in the morning.

[Man 2] When I have not seen the wedding,

how will I agree that the wedding has taken place?

Uncle, what are you saying?

You haven't seen Amitabh Bachchan either.

Does that mean he doesn't exist?

[Giggling]

I have seen his picture. Seen his videos.

[Man 1] Do you have the wedding picture or video?

Then show us.

Okay fine, will get them married again.

Have they lost it?

Will everyone agree after that?

Or after that too, will ask for proof like him.

They will get to eat a feast for free,

why will they not agree?

Everyone will agree.

[chattering]

Look at that.

Okay, then it is fixed.

I Mahesh Chaudhary,

invite you all from the family of Chaudharys.

[Mahesh] In front of the Panchayat, to all the villagers.

For the wedding of my sister Pakhi and Bhasskar Tripathi.

[Applause]

Listen to me carefully.

If I see anybody sulking on this happy occasion.

Then I swear to God, I will chase him in the fields and kill him.

Let's go.

You have trapped us!

I have trapped you?

I am trapped myself.

Do you know the difference between snake and python?

Snakes slither like this and python like this.

Wrong.

Python kills by coiling the prey.

And snake kills by its poison.

So, who is more powerful among the two?

The snake.

Lord Shiva.

What is the connection between Shiva and this?

This is my philosophy.

I preached as I saw the Panchayat.

The one to order the killing is greater than the killer.

Come. Let's go.

Father, you called me?

Come dear Pakhi.

How are you, my daughter?

I am fine.

[Giggling]

You were not here, there were so many letters for you.

- My letters? - Yes.

After you ran away...

three more girls eloped.

What to do?

The situation here, and narrow-minded thinking,

did not give them any other chance.

Do you know?

One of the girls is a teacher in an NGO.

The other is studying Medicine.

And lives in a government hostel.

The third married her love and is happily living in Jamshedpur.

I think they are the three girls who are writing letters to you.

To thank you, because of you...

all three of them achieved their goals.

Here.

What is written inside?

Father...

are you upset with me?

No, why will I be upset with my dear daughter?

I am very happy.

Because I completely trust my daughter.

Like how the three girls have chosen their paths.

Similarly, my dear daughter

must have chosen Bhasskar very carefully.

Stay blessed.