All language subtitles for Too.Hot.To.Handle.S01E08.WEBRip.x264-ION10-eng

♪ So party up ♪

♪ Party up now, baby... ♪

I'm gonna miss Lana.

It's invaluable,
the lessons we've learned.

I will leave richer than what I came in.

- Internally, mentally. Definitely.
- Yeah. Hundred percent.

I'm gonna make all my friends
do the same thing.

Like, sorry, no touching
at the boat parties now.

That's right, people.
It's the season finale,

and in 56 hours,
the retreat will all be over.

Gotta tell you this, though,

I'm starting to think about the money
a bit again.

Yeah.

♪ 'Cause it's all about the money,
money, money ♪

Ah, the money, of course.

Before returning the residents
to the real world,

Lana will announce the winner
and allocate the prize fund.

The question is, who will it be?

- We don't know how the money's gonna go.
- Right.

I don't know what Lana's gonna say.
It might be one winner or two winners.

I don't know if I have
as good of a shot as anybody,

or if it's gonna go to a couple,

or something like that.

At this point, I don't know at all.

And something tells me
Lana is gonna keep you guessing.

♪ Money, money ♪

♪ Just can't get enough ♪

♪ Money, money ♪

♪ I just can't give it up ♪

♪ Money, money... ♪

♪ Leave it to the haters ♪

♪ I never wanna be like that ♪

The prize fund, which once stood proud
at a whopping $100,000,

has flopped to a teeny-weeny 43K.

Largely thanks to this pair.

We've been trying to hold out.
Sorry that we're hot as fuck,

and we want to tear each other apart
like a roast chicken.

But it was the times that we...

People suck!

Thank you for standing up for me.
I really appreciate it.

Every time Harry and I have spent money,
we've came out of it really strong,

and the fact no one can see that,
or understand that,

or even care to understand that,
really pisses me off.

How much do you think a foot job would be?

I don't know if I'm into that,
but if it's cheaper, I'm gonna do it.

Ah...

trying to figure out
what a foot job would cost.

And they say romance is dead.

♪ Just a little bit ♪

♪ Just a little, ooh ♪

♪ When it comes to your love ♪

Speaking of romance,

Sharron and Rhonda have managed
to score themselves a yacht,

and a bottle of champagne.

A taste of the life that awaits them...
if they win.

There's no one else
I would rather be here with...

um, in the middle of the ocean.

Sharron is being so sweet,

I think I might barf.

Fucking hell.

Probably not before Rhonda does, though.

This is a journey that...

I'm never gonna forget.

'Cause coming into the retreat,

my trust with guys was not really there.

Day one,
I never would've seen this happening.

Definitely didn't see that
it would've been with Sharron.

It's like, you never know what Lana,
or God, has in store.

I'm always getting those two mixed up.

The retreat is... coming to an end.

Life outside of here, it's not something
we've really talked about, but...

I don't wanna lose you.

I want you to know this is real.
Like, this is what I want.

Never in a million years did I think
that I was gonna find someone

that was gonna change my whole mindset.

I know what I'm here for,
I know what I came to do.

Oh, this sounds interesting.

I have a question
that I would like to ask you.

Would you...

...be my girlfriend?

I do.

I don't think
he was popping that question.

You saying it like you getting married,
girl! Wait! We ain't that far yet.

I feel like a little-ass kid,
"Would you be my girlfriend?"

- Yes.
- For real?

Definitely.

Thank you.

I'm married!

No, I'm not, but now,
with Sharron, it's official.

The fact that he felt
like overcoming his biggest fear

of getting in another relationship,
and he chose me to do it with,

I couldn't be happier.

I don't think I'm perfect.
I do think I'm perfect for you, though.

Looks like Lana, or God,
likes what they see.

Thanks, Lana.

By me asking Rhonda to be my girl,

I felt like I've overcome
one of the biggest barriers in my life.

And Rhonda's the perfect person,
because she's the yin to my yang.

Together, we've blossomed
into something beautiful.

Ah, Lana will be pleased.

It was worth paying for that yacht
after all.

♪ Gonna have one helluva party ♪

♪ One helluva night... ♪

- Party time!
- It's lit.

Party.

Time is running out, and the producers
are running out of ideas.

So they've ticked off one more
reality cliche...

Yes!

...by throwing everyone a white party.

Here we go. White party, baby.

We should take this moment
to take a cheers to a successful retreat,

to incredible relationships,
to deep bonds.

Well said, Sharron.

You've all come so far
and learned so much.

Let loose. You've earned it.

Don't get me to start dancing.
I'll never stop.

♪ Just take me to the sky ♪

♪ Just take me to the sky ♪

♪ Just take me to the sky ♪

♪ Just take me to the sky ♪

- What the f...
- Lana!

Talk about being
a party pooper.

The process is almost over,

and tonight I would like to reward
all of your hard work

by giving you the chance
to win back money.

Oh, my God!

Yes!

I've actually never been so happy, like,
"Yes, Lana, giving us cash back."

I feel a "but" coming.

- However...
- Close enough.

...the fate of the group
lies in the hands of just two people...

Harry and Francesca.

You two have broken the rules
more than anybody else.

Now you have the chance to make amends.

Your challenge is to spend a night
in the private suite

with no physical contact at all.

Fuck's sake.

No way.

Well, that's gone down
like a lead balloon.

Here's your test.
You're not allowed to touch.

For Harry and Francesca...

...I mean, that is tough.

- What does that mean, light touching?
- You can't touch at all.

- Not even like that?
- Better be careful.

Lana, I've no faith in either of
those people, Francesca or Harry,

because they constantly
feck up the whole time.

Maybe that's the point, Nicole.
You know, redemption?

Why are you so disappointed?

I get it. They're upset. They're jealous.

Me and Francesca have grown so much.

So, we need to resist
and control ourselves.

I probably won't manage that,
but I'm gonna give it a go.

If the test is passed,

all the money
that Harry and Francesca have lost

will be returned to the prize fund.

Thank you!

You guys could earn $32,000.

That's so much money.
Like, I literally would chop off my arm.

How much do you think anal is?

Oh, my God!

This is your opportunity
to prove everyone wrong,

and this is the first thing that you say?
Is this some type of joke?

This is a nightmare.

Just don't do anything stupid.

I might as well file bankruptcy now, yeah?

Stand ten feet apart at all times.

- Chill out! I can't make a joke?
- So many people with fucking...

- So many tight-arses in the building.
- Wow.

We came here with zero dollars.

If you leave here with zero dollars,
nothing has changed.

Do you have the money?
Are you gonna win?

Have you been growing?

Don't think so. So, stop shitting on me.
See that I'm in love.

Let me live my life. Let me be happy,
and do your own thing.

I love how we get attacked
right off the bat.

Cheers, guys.
Thanks for having faith. We are off.

We ain't gonna have
any money left tomorrow.

I hope that they just...

One sleep in the tub,
one sleep in the bed.

I don't care what they do,

but it's not impossible.

Horny Harry and Frisky Francesca alone,

in a sexy suite.

What could possibly go wrong?

♪ You like it better
with my lipstick off... ♪

- Ah! The suite.
- Oh, wow!

- My old friend.
- I've never been here before.

Unfamiliar territory.

Francesca looks like
a little white Popsicle...

...ready to be eaten up alive.

I know she's not wearing undies.

Fuck, Lana. Where's the green light?

Oh, that's where my whip went.

You stay there.

I'm doing the right thing.

So, if you come near me...

Francesca! Francesca!

Francesca!

Get away from me!

If these guys fuck this up,
they're done here.

Not only could they fuck up,

- but they could drop us another 20K.
- Remember, it's just a touch.

Stop it!

We're not losing money.

If they took this shit serious,
the minute they walk into the room,

- they're splitting ways.
- Hundred percent. How hard is that?

Chill out, guys. They've got willpower.

It's not like it's just
a random game of chance.

We have sex.

We don't have sex.

We have sex.

Look, I'm definitely progressing,

but my thoughts are still gonna be
a little bit naughty

when it comes to Francesca,
because she is a bombshell.

Do you know how to freestyle?

Fuck, that's hot!

That's even hotter!

Freestyle, 100-meter sprint.

You got your titties out!

I don't think that you can
really get hotter than Harry.

This is torture.

Your titties are out.

Francesca, stop it!

I'm trying to be good here.

Yeah, I'm gonna be honest,
that doesn't sound great.

♪ Straight to the top ♪

Last night,
everyone worried themselves to sleep

talking about Harry and Francesca,

but this morning,
they've barely mentioned them.

Who thinks they're not gonna win
the money back? Put your hands up.

Just kidding.
That topic is still trending.

Not only are they not gonna win our 30,
they're gonna lose an extra 20.

That's literally seven boob jobs.

- Pretty close.
- We'd be on 20 grand.

Listen, if they spend any more money,
at this point...

...we're not gonna have any money left.

Whatever Francesca wants Harry to do,
that's what the outcome's gonna be.

He follows her round like a little puppy,

even if it's just to annoy
a couple of people.

I wouldn't trust Francesca
as far as I could throw her, to be honest.

But I'd still bang her.

FYI, that kind of comment
won't earn you any gold stars from Lana.

You looked so sexy last night.

- Me?
- Yeah.

You always look so hot, though.

You looked hot in that little dress
that needed to be ripped.

I'm not even gonna say it.

- That was lit.
- That was good.

That was the most fun I've had
this entire month.

Woke up this morning feeling great.

It was amazing, and I'm so ready
to just go down there,

because everyone's being Negative Nancy,

and hating on my relationship,
and everyone can suck it.

Too easy.
I'm not even gonna bother with that one.

♪ Go and get your money ♪

♪ Go and get the motherf... dollar figure ♪

Yes, Francesca, everyone is still
waiting for your grand arrival.

There's a zero percent chance they came
out of that room and they didn't touch.

I think I'll just laugh and be like,
"Oh, for fuck's sake."

They've been in there
a very long time though.

- Yeah.
- Speaking of the devils.

Hey!

Oh, my God. Harry and Francesca.

- How we doing, guys?
- What a gorgeous day.

- Hey.
- You look so happy.

Okay, so I'm guessing a bit of small talk

before they get down
to the serious stuff, right?

- Did you guys spend money, make money?
- Wrong.

Well, we're not sure.

Have to wait and see what Lana reckons.

What do you mean you're not sure?

- Well...
- You surely know if you touched.

We think we did well.

Oh, my God.

I would be fine to not touch anyone
in a room, but for them...

I don't know.

- There was heaps of sex toys and stuff.
- Yeah.

- There were sex toys there?
- So many sex toys.

Wow.

- Hello, lovely Lana.
- The anxiety kicks in once again.

Last night, Harry and Francesca
spent the night in the private suite...

and they were forbidden
from any form of physical contact.

If they have been successful,
all the money that they have lost

will be returned to the prize fund.

They literally can't go two days
without kissing or...

sucking each other off.

I don't think they care
about the money.

I just think they're bothered
about creating chaos.

I can reveal that...

The wait is over.

For an A.I. robot,
she's really mastered the art of suspense.

I have my hands put together,

and I really hope

that they can prove to us that

they can go without touching for a night.

I wish Jesus was still here,
'cause we are in need of a miracle.

...Harry and Francesca...

did...

Come on, Lana, make this quick!
Just rip the Band-Aid off.

...not...

have any form of physical contact.

- I was like...
- What?

- I was like...
- How could you do that?

Hey, your titty's out!

Jeez!

Well done. I had zero faith.

The prize fund now stands at $75,000.

Whoo!

I'm so happy.

This was a massive test from Lana

to see if they're really serious
about each other,

and they've absolutely crushed it.

Do you feel that you have made
a deeper emotional connection?

- Hundred percent.
- Hundred percent. Always.

Connection's so deep,
your titties pop out.

I know you think
I'm a bit of a joker,

but I hope that
this has proved to you guys

how serious we are
about the whole retreat,

and I hope this is a fresh start
for all of us, and we can...

not have any negative energy
towards myself and Francesca.

Harry and Francesca managed
to resist temptation last night.

And, as they say, all good things come
to those who wait.

See?

Oh, my God!

Every situation we're put in,
we grow,

and our green lights going off just shows
that we do have something real,

and I think
that everyone is gonna be Team Frarry now,

because we proved ourselves.

We showed everyone how we feel,
and...

I'm super happy about that.

♪ One last step
and I'll cross that line ♪

♪ One last jump
and I'll hit my stride... ♪

I'm glad to have been part of
your journey. I mean, you're lovely.

Aww!

No!

Now that the prize pot is up to $75,000,

it seems everyone wants to prove
how much they've grown.

This experience has taught me
that I do want to have someone to love.

There's not been
this sort of connection before.

It's definitely different.

Thank you for taking the time
to understand me

at every point of every single day
that I've been here.

It doesn't go unnoticed,
and I really appreciate it.

So, yeah. I'm gonna give you a hug.

Thanks.

I feel like I've learned so much
in this retreat,

and that's just one step of it.

Actually putting it into practice outside
is the biggest lesson in all of this.

Even though Lydia was a late arrival,

she's thrown herself
fully into the process.

I wonder if the same can be said
for the other two newbies.

So far, I think the biggest
lesson that I've learned is that...

um...

I don't know.

Kori, uh, throw me a bone here.

I couldn't care less anymore.

Some stupid computer can't really
change me, you know what I mean?

That "stupid computer"
holds the purse strings to 75K.

Just remember that, Kori.

But, don't worry, newbies,
it's not too late to turn the corner.

Especially as Lana has
a season finale workshop

that's all about new beginnings.

Uh, where's Chloe?

I'm feeling like absolute shit.

Oh, Chloe.

Only connection I'm gonna be making
is with the toilet, I reckon.

Lana's final workshop will help the guests
remove negative labels from the past,

as they move towards
a more positive future.

Your partner should write on your skin

the most hurtful words
you have been called in the past.

- Let's go.
- I'm ready.

What word is gonna go on your arm?

"False."

Obviously, these words
mean something to you.

It kind of makes you confront
everything that's made you who you are...

in a very literal sense.

Hopefully, by seeing
the emotional graffiti...

"Heartless."

"Selfish."

...the guests will realize

how much they've changed
while being at the retreat.

"Arrogant." "Dick prick." "Slut."

Things I've been called
plenty of times before,

but it does not define me.

"Heartless."

"Moody."

"Lazy."

"Cocky."

"Skinny."

Are you allowed to write "bitchy"?

- Do you want "bitchy"?
- Yeah.

It's amazing how so many beautiful people
have been called so many...

ugly words.

So, my word is...

"cow."

That's cold.

I don't understand
how people can be

so mean, and say such horrible things.
Like, I would never,

you know, say, like,
any of these words to anyone.

Um...

So, yeah. It does get to me a lot.

In life, I've been...

such an arrogant little prick.

Sometimes I feel like in life I've been

definitely

arrogant and stuck-up, in a sense,

especially in the retreat.

You know, not really caring about
other people's opinions,

how they feel, but I don't think
that I'm arrogant anymore.

I don't think you're arrogant either.

With the help of Francesca,

I've moved forward
and broken down these barriers.

I've broken down this label.

Um, and I think I'm a more open-minded,
well-rounded...

human.

Just got it on your nose!

Oh, there's always one.

I ain't got a clue what's going on today.
I think everyone needs to lighten up.

Um, make that two.

Um... Yeah. Um...

I'm just, like, not getting this.

It's honestly funny as fuck, though.

You can lead a horse to water...

So, you wanna tell me about

how you've been "controlling"?

So, in my past relationships,

any time I'm looking for a certain
thing in a guy and I don't get it,

um, I either try to do it for them,
or tell them what to do,

so I can basically have the guy
that I'm looking for,

instead of letting them
be the guy that I want them to be.

So, when is the last time, like,
someone has called you "controlling"?

My child's father.

My last relationship.

It felt good to open up to Sharron.

I feel like...

we're gonna continue
to take steps forward from here.

I feel like, at the end of the day,
we're taking these steps together,

because I care about him a lot.

What am I gonna be writing?

You're gonna be writing "psycho."

That's pretty savage.

I went through some really awful things.

Uh, things that I've become
sort of desensitized to.

That's what everyone says in an argument.

When, in reality,
it is a word that does hurt.

Yeah.

But I am so excited. And do you know what?
More relieved just to be free.

Free to build myself again,
build my character,

and move forwards.

My word's "ugly."

Growing up, I was, um...

bullied throughout my childhood.

Things that were said to me...

really made me put on a big front.

Before I came in here, I wasn't concerned
about what people thought of me.

Seeking validation in women,

and just having a pretty shallow existence
when it comes to my relationships.

I've just never had a sense of, um...

self-confidence, as far as looks go.

In a way, it helped me
do other things in my life, you know?

Forced me to learn how to do things
that didn't matter what you look like.

But I don't wish
what I went through on anybody.

Thanks to Lana,
I feel really at peace with myself.

I think I really took sex for granted,

and I'm going to be more particular
on who I share it with.

And I'm okay with who I am.

Uh, guys,
this is the part where you hug him.

No one?

Okay.

Cool.

Congratulations.
You have completed your final workshop.

Now, go to the ocean,

and wash away those labels for good.

To the beach!

I'm ready to cleanse myself.

Get these labels off me,
and become a new man.

I am so ready.

I just want it all off, and I'm never
gonna think of these words ever again.

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ Oh-oh ♪

♪ Oh-oh ♪

♪ Oh-oh ♪

♪ Oh-oh
Oh, yeah ♪

♪ All this magic in the air ♪

♪ Got me on another wave... ♪

First person I ever saw
was Sharron.

Oh, my God. I felt, "What a donut."

What a what?

What?

I do love a trip down memory lane.

Even Chloe's crawled out of bed
to insult Sharron.

- How about you, Nicole?
- Obviously, I came in with Rhonda.

And obviously, got on so well...

Oh, mood killer.

Any time Lana comes,

nine times out of ten,
it's not really good news.

I hope no one just went
and blew money on...

something stupid.

In 24 hours,

I will be allocating the prize fund
and announcing a winner.

- Yes!
- Woo-hoo!

However, I've observed that not all of you
have invested in the process equally.

Ooh, shit.

For that reason, the following people...

will now leave the retreat.

Oh!

Lana,
how could you keep this from me?

I've absolutely shit me dacks.

In Australian,
that means I've shit my pants.

Thanks for the translation.

My heart was pounding.

I was absolutely
not expecting this at all.

My heart is fucking racing.

My heart's racing, too.

Oh, sorry.
I'm leaning on my mic.

- Madison...
- Oh, my God.

It sucks, but at the end of the day,
everything happens for a reason.

You know, I think Madison leaving,
I seen that coming.

She was just there, wasn't she?
Like, what was she really doing?

Who knew
Kori had psychic powers?

...and...

Jeez, Lana.

...Kori.

Fair enough.

Didn't see that one coming,
did you?

Both of you must now leave.

See you later, guys. Fuckin' hell.

I've come in, like,
Lana's tried to tame me,

but I'm just gonna go back
into the outside world

and go back to shagging birds.

Plain and simple.

Ah, Kori, he didn't learn a thing,

but I bet the others
are sad to see him go.

Do you know what?
I'm not really bothered, to be honest.

Maybe not.

- See you later.
- Bye, guys.

Less people, more money.

Adios.

We're not running a charity here.
Lana's on point.

This ain't a holiday retreat.
It's to make people better.

If you can't take that, then just leave.

I don't think you should have
a cut of the money

if you haven't really developed
or shown any progress.

I couldn't have
put it better myself, Kelz.

It's that simple.

But remember,
just because you're still standing

doesn't mean you're gonna win the money.

♪ Money, money ♪

♪ I just can't get enough ♪

♪ Money, money ♪

♪ I just can't give it up
Can't give it up ♪

♪ Money, money... ♪

♪ Into the unknown ♪

♪ Let's go ♪

♪ Into the unknown ♪

It's almost over, guys.

Last night, guys!

Let's make it count!

It's the final morning,

and, discounting a last-minute orgy,

the prize fund is looking pretty healthy.

I could do with $75,000,

but I think she'll pick
Harry and Francesca.

Yeah, I agree.

This isn't Couples Retreat.

This is self-improvement.

But it might go to a couple,

which is a bummer.

All the lessons we've learned,
from the workshops, from Lana...

- Hmm.
- ...like, we've really took them on board,

- and we've helped each other grow.
- Yeah.

If I don't get the money,
I'll be annoyed, obviously,

'cause it's 75-bloody-K,

but at this moment in time,
I'm not confident.

I think out of everyone,

Rhonda and Sharron
have had the most progress.

I built this last night
when you were asleep.

As if prize fund paranoia
wasn't rife enough in the retreat...

Get on my back, baby bird.

...the couples are going into
who-loves-who-more overdrive.

Cheers to the good times, the bad times.

- Cheers to us.
- Same.

I've got my dream girl right beside me.

She's stunning.
She's always laughing at me.

Or with me, I don't know.
I think it's at me.

Like, come on! What a time!

I have never been so obsessed
with someone in my entire life.

Like, the way I feel for him is like...

It, like...

It, like, burns, but it ignites,
like, your insides,

and it's like I trust Harry with my life.

I've never trusted someone so much.

What are we gonna do
as soon as we get out?

- I mean, you're coming to Vancouver.
- No way! Like...

I've never been.

I think after you come visit,
and after I show you around,

- you're gonna love it.
- And you'll want me to move?

Yeah.

I just love everything about you,
and I don't wanna lose it.

As long as it's not, like,

- snowing all the time.
- No. It only snows once a year.

Let's go.

Me and Francesca,

are honestly like...

pineapples on pizzas.

We're just perfect together.

I'm ready to move
wherever she wants to be.

Like, I'm ready to give her 200 percent.

She is the bee's knees.

This whole experience has been...

absolutely magic.

- Yeah.
- I wanna thank you for your participation.

Fuck off!

Whoa! An around-the-world relocation?

The commitment competition is on...

Hey, tinklebird!

...and a nervous Rhonda is planning
to introduce her little boy

to her little man.

We just made it official,
as far as, like, being a couple.

I think I'm kind of ready for Sharron
to at least meet Amare.

I miss you.

He's definitely gonna have
a challenge on his hands,

and he's gonna really
have to win my baby's heart.

That's like getting past my dad.

You've gotta get past my son
if you want anything to come out of this.

I just miss you so much.
I wanted to see you.

I'm definitely nervous.
I have butterflies in my stomach.

I'm not just talking to any ordinary kid.

I'm talking to the kid of the woman
I'm planning a future with.

So, will he like me? That's basically it.

Like, I just need Amare to like me.

Amare, say hi.

Hey, Amare.

Can you say "Sharron"?

- No.
- Amare.

The classic baby defense mode, like,
"I'm not talking to you."

He's like,
"What the hell do you want?"

He looked at me like, "Who are you?"

How old are you?

Oh, is that two?

- Oh, good job.
- Good job.

Oh, my gosh.

I'm gonna cry.

I guess that's baby steps.

And I'll take that over him
just hanging up the phone,

because he does that quite often.

Mommy's gonna go bye-bye,
but I'll be home in a little bit.

Bye, stinker butt.

It definitely was a big deal
for me, but I feel good.

I hope that shows her
that I'm serious about her.

I'm serious about building it,
growing into something special.

That's the total package,
you know what I mean? I come with that.

And as long as you're willing
to kind of accept me,

and that, like, my child,
like, we should be good.

He gonna see me around.
He gonna get used to me.

Just when you think you've got a winner,
someone busts out a baby.

This one is going to the wire.

No, no.

That is a winner.

The money situation
is on everyone's minds tonight.

It is a big one.

I think it would be epic
for Francesca to get the money,

because I think if anyone deserves it,
it's her.

I feel like there's multiple people
in here that

have shown significant personal growth,

and it'd be hard to isolate one person
who's potentially grown the most.

Kelz has developed the most
since I've got here,

but then again, I have no idea.
So, I don't want to think about it.

Whoo!

Well, this is the moment. This is it.

Hello. Would you all make your way
to the palapa for the final time?

- Stressed.
- Uh-huh.

Okay, people.

It's time to find out
who will win the money.

Big night.

Wow. What a moment.

No one really knows
what's gonna happen, and...

it's just, yeah, a bit of nervous energy,
a bit of an uncertain vibe.

Who's nervous?

Me. I'm shitting myself.

At this point, it's done.

Whatever's about to happen
is out of our hands.

Lana!

Here we go.

Phones on silent,
and popcorn at the ready.

It's time to announce the winner,
and allocate the $75,000 prize.

Ooh, getting straight
down to business. I like it.

Fuck.

You okay?

My heart is beating so fast.

It's okay.

Medic on standby for Harry?

It's okay.

Are you trying to make me shit myself
in front of everyone?

And a diaper for Chloe, just in case.

Would the following people
please stand up?

I've stuck to the rules
since getting here.

People like Harry and Francesca
are reckless.

If someone who's consistently
been breaking the rules

does get the prize fund,

you kind of feel mugged off, to be fair.

Francesca...

Lana, what are you doing?

That was popular.

...and...

Harry.

Congratulations.
You never have to work again.

If Lana did give
Harry and Francesca all the money,

I'd just...

I'd be confused.

You all right?

Mm-hmm.

It's a crock of bullshit.

Harry and Francesca,

I don't feel they're on the same level
as me and Sharron.

That's true.

They're standing up...

while you're sitting down.

I feel good, holding his hand.
We're gonna win. This is amazing.

I'm gonna need a medic
in a minute.

Sharron...

Whoa!

Wait, what?

Oh, shit. Okay.

- Oh!
- Oh, plot twist!

Thank you for everything, Lana.
I love you.

...and Rhonda.

I'm about to faint up here,
my legs are getting weak.

My palms are sweaty.

You four have shown great strength

and growth
by forming emotional connections.

Come on, Lana.

So,
it looks like we have a couple-off.

May the best pair win.

What's gonna happen?
Are we gonna battle? Are we gonna duel?

Are we gonna fight it out?
Is there a sword fight?

Well, I guess this is a dating show,

and I'm not making any money.

I don't feel that would be fair.

Sounds like they've
blown the budget on tension music.

David.

Hold up. What's Lana up to?

What's going on here?

My heart is beating.

Chloe.

Kelz.

Nicole.

Lydia.

And Bryce.

Oh, God.

I sense another plot twist.

You are all winners.

Each of you
has embraced the process,

and helped one another
to form deeper connections.

Since being at the retreat,
the guests have grown

from sexed-up serial swipers...

My goal is to reel them in, bro!

...to fully formed,
self-accepting grown-ups.

They've learned lessons in maturity...

My heart is on the right track.

...inner strength...

I got a strong Yoni.

We are girls. We are in power.
We are strong.

...trust...

I liked the fact that
she was able to trust me.

...and communication.

- Were you crying?
- Yeah.

They've overcome challenges...

Women empowerment!

My word's "ugly."

...and mastered the art of restraint.

I'm the rule breaker.

We can't spend any more money.

I can't because of the fucking rules!

But above all,

they've learned to love themselves.

The $75,000 will be split

- between you.
- Oh, no way!

No way!

I get the girl, and I get a bit of money.

You can't put a price on this.
This is magic.

Well, they have,
and it works out to $7,500 each,

- before tax.
- Yay!

- I can't believe this is, like.
- the end of the road now...

...but it's been the best time
I've ever had.

God, I'm such an ugly crier.

- Cheers to being $7,500 richer.
- Yeah!

When I get home, definitely excited
to share this new journey

with all my friends,

because back at home,
they're top shaggers,

so I think it's a lot
that they can learn from.

Sharron's School for Top Shaggers?
I'd certainly pay a visit.

It's not one person deserves it because
they've gone on a journey by themselves.

Everyone has done this together.
played a part in everyone's journey.

And so it seems right that everyone

gets a piece of that prize.

Someone's chopping onions
in my V.O. booth.

I definitely know that I'm gonna be
the new Lana for my friends,

that I'm gonna be preaching
these weird things to them.

I'm literally Mother Teresa, and I'm gonna
spread my knowledge unto the world.

Mother Teresa?
Not who I imagine when I think of you.

Your time at the retreat
is now over,

and the rules no longer apply.

There we go!

Thank you, Lana.
Thank you for showing me your ways,

for showing me how to treat a woman,

I'm just so thankful
for the whole experience.

But can I go now?
Because Francesca needs to be...

♪ Turn it up! ♪

♪ Oh, oh-oh ♪

♪ Turn it up! ♪

♪ Oh, oh-oh ♪

♪ Turn it up! ♪

♪ Oh, oh-oh ♪

♪ Turn it up! ♪

♪ Oh, oh-oh ♪

♪ Don't, don't mess with me ♪

♪ Don't, don't, don't mess with me ♪

♪ Don't, don't mess with me ♪

♪ Don't, don't, don't mess with me ♪