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1
00:00:05,720 --> 00:00:07,280
Have the photos come through?
2
00:00:08,386 --> 00:00:09,426
They have.
3
00:00:10,585 --> 00:00:11,690
Some.
4
00:00:12,420 --> 00:00:14,060
Simon says we have to pick three.
5
00:00:17,720 --> 00:00:20,240
Uh, 2089.
6
00:00:21,360 --> 00:00:24,196
- I'm not in 2089.
- Oh, are you not?
7
00:00:24,539 --> 00:00:25,649
You know I'm not.
8
00:00:25,685 --> 00:00:28,457
- Hadn't noticed.
- Needs to have both of us in it.
9
00:00:29,040 --> 00:00:30,885
Where were you for 2089?
10
00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:32,827
I don't know. Choosing
a new shirt, I think.
11
00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:36,365
- You chose that shirt?
- Yeah, you were rude about it then.
12
00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:38,085
You don't get to be rude about it now.
13
00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:40,110
- Oh, was I rude about it?
- Yeah, you rude about it, yeah.
14
00:00:40,146 --> 00:00:42,191
- What did I say?
- You said I looked like a J-cloth.
15
00:00:42,469 --> 00:00:43,509
Ah.
16
00:00:45,780 --> 00:00:47,580
Is that make-up, too?
17
00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:51,765
Yes, a little foundation, maybe.
18
00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:53,285
You look pox-ridden.
19
00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:57,600
Why do you do that thing
with your mouth?
20
00:00:58,336 --> 00:01:00,378
- What thing?
- You know, you make it...
21
00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:03,845
...sort of... sort of flat,
just like a...
22
00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:06,885
...like a line straight across you.
Like a Muppet, you know?
23
00:01:12,820 --> 00:01:13,833
I don't do that.
24
00:01:13,868 --> 00:01:16,045
Yeah, I'm looking at
20 different photos of you.
25
00:01:16,080 --> 00:01:17,765
I cannot see your teeth in one of them.
26
00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:19,885
I can't see your teeth
in any of these either!
27
00:01:19,920 --> 00:01:21,925
Yeah, but I have a twinkle in my eyes.
28
00:01:21,960 --> 00:01:23,165
My eyes twinkle!
29
00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:24,685
No, your eyes tire.
30
00:01:24,720 --> 00:01:27,328
- Tire?
- Like a low-impact Gorgon.
31
00:01:28,720 --> 00:01:30,140
Fuck you.
32
00:01:30,520 --> 00:01:32,725
Portals onto a barren...
33
00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:35,725
- Oh, Jesus.
- ...parched, arid landscape.
34
00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:37,247
I have said sorry!
35
00:01:37,720 --> 00:01:39,525
And I have accepted your...
36
00:01:39,560 --> 00:01:41,280
Well, it doesn't look like it!
37
00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:47,405
Have you rehearsed any of it yet?
38
00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:48,765
Yes, of course.
39
00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:51,587
- How much of it?
- It's difficult to quantify.
40
00:01:52,118 --> 00:01:53,723
Give me a page number.
41
00:01:53,759 --> 00:01:55,804
We've been starting from
a more conceptual place.
42
00:01:55,840 --> 00:01:59,803
- What does that mean?
- Well, it's part of my process. Um...
43
00:02:00,287 --> 00:02:02,680
We've begun with a sort
of freewheeling discussion
44
00:02:02,716 --> 00:02:04,841
about the play, its themes,
its inner workings
45
00:02:04,877 --> 00:02:07,322
and what it might say
to a 21st century audience.
46
00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:08,760
You haven't done anything, have you?
47
00:02:09,075 --> 00:02:10,444
- Not a thing.
- Right.
48
00:02:10,480 --> 00:02:12,725
In my defence, the business
with Sam threw us off the rails.
49
00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:14,480
Well, that was the business
you failed to handle.
50
00:02:14,516 --> 00:02:15,928
- David said he would deal with it.
- And did he?
51
00:02:16,505 --> 00:02:18,565
- Not really, no.
- No. Did he make it worse?
52
00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:19,787
- Yes.
- All right.
53
00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:22,215
- So, where are we?
- Well, Sam's handled.
54
00:02:22,251 --> 00:02:25,456
He doesn't want to have anything
to do with us or the play any more,
55
00:02:25,765 --> 00:02:26,954
which is good.
56
00:02:27,128 --> 00:02:28,973
David and Michael are...
57
00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:30,725
- ...angry.
- With you?
58
00:02:30,760 --> 00:02:31,876
Mostly with each other.
59
00:02:35,126 --> 00:02:38,776
All right, Simon. I know
this means a lot to you.
60
00:02:38,812 --> 00:02:39,884
Yes, it does.
61
00:02:39,920 --> 00:02:43,205
Yeah, it's...
It's a really big opportunity.
62
00:02:43,240 --> 00:02:44,199
Yes, it is.
63
00:02:44,581 --> 00:02:47,653
And you promised me
that you were up to it, so...
64
00:02:48,130 --> 00:02:49,160
Are you?
65
00:02:50,080 --> 00:02:52,219
- Yeah.
- Then make some fucking progress!
66
00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:54,765
Make some fucking progress!
Do something, will you, please?
67
00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:55,896
Please!
68
00:02:59,802 --> 00:03:01,112
All right. Sorry.
69
00:03:01,529 --> 00:03:04,644
It's just, you know, it's fine.
It's fine, what you're doing.
70
00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:06,605
Anybody could do it, really.
71
00:03:06,640 --> 00:03:09,485
I... I just expected a little bit
more of you, that's all.
72
00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:10,587
Me, too.
73
00:03:10,623 --> 00:03:12,383
Well, you know, there's no need to...
74
00:03:14,331 --> 00:03:16,496
I don't need somebody hanging
their head in shame,
75
00:03:16,532 --> 00:03:18,897
I just need somebody to do something
for me, all right?
76
00:03:19,080 --> 00:03:21,964
Otherwise, what's the point?
What's the point of you, really?
77
00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:23,403
- It's a good question.
- Yeah.
78
00:03:23,439 --> 00:03:24,439
Well...
79
00:03:25,460 --> 00:03:27,989
All right. Well, I think this has
been constructive, so...
80
00:03:28,491 --> 00:03:29,491
- Yeah?
- Yep.
81
00:03:29,527 --> 00:03:30,520
Yeah.
82
00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:31,680
Thanks for your time.
83
00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:34,560
Oh, Christ.
84
00:03:36,120 --> 00:03:37,490
- Janine!
- What?
85
00:03:37,526 --> 00:03:38,685
I'm done here.
86
00:03:38,720 --> 00:03:39,886
All sorted?
87
00:03:39,922 --> 00:03:42,092
Nope, nightmare. Fucking nightmare.
88
00:03:42,128 --> 00:03:43,648
You should have furloughed him!
89
00:03:58,085 --> 00:04:00,887
Jo is going to drop in on
our session this afternoon.
90
00:04:01,158 --> 00:04:02,188
Why?
91
00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:06,324
- Uh, checking on progress.
- There's been progress?
92
00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:08,044
- Plenty.
- We haven't read anything yet.
93
00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:09,966
- That's deliberate.
- Why is that?
94
00:04:10,759 --> 00:04:14,644
We've been, um, operating from
a more conceptual space.
95
00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:15,845
Is Jo worried?
96
00:04:15,881 --> 00:04:17,624
- I think she just feels left out.
- Left out?
97
00:04:17,660 --> 00:04:19,630
Yeah, shall we have
a look at page, um...
98
00:04:20,240 --> 00:04:21,360
Page ten?
99
00:04:26,300 --> 00:04:27,613
From, um...
100
00:04:28,160 --> 00:04:29,964
"We do not have time for insanity."
101
00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:31,324
- Sure.
- Yep.
102
00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:32,885
Whenever you're ready.
103
00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:33,980
Michael.
104
00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:39,085
Uh. "We do not have
the time for insanity."
105
00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:40,725
"Life is crammed with insanity."
106
00:04:40,760 --> 00:04:41,845
"What the hell do you mean?"
107
00:04:41,881 --> 00:04:44,764
"Your craft should be considered
a breeding ground for madness,
108
00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:46,525
"rendering falsity as truth."
109
00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:47,730
Are you going to do it like that?
110
00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:49,976
Like what?
111
00:04:50,520 --> 00:04:52,845
- Arch.
- Can we just carry on, actually?
112
00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:55,801
Michael, it's with you.
"A profession of madmen..."
113
00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:58,405
"You think this is a profession
of madmen?"
114
00:04:58,440 --> 00:05:01,165
"I think that is your mission.
Give life to fantastic characters."
115
00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:02,445
I'll read the stepdaughter.
116
00:05:02,480 --> 00:05:05,205
"Believe me, we are some of the
most interesting characters."
117
00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:08,485
"Yes. And we, who have had
the luck to be born as characters,
118
00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:09,765
"can laugh even at death."
119
00:05:09,800 --> 00:05:10,943
Can I just pause for a second?
120
00:05:10,979 --> 00:05:12,442
I've got a quick question about tone.
121
00:05:12,477 --> 00:05:13,525
- Yeah.
- Yep.
122
00:05:13,560 --> 00:05:16,602
- So, this dialogue is heightened.
- Yeah.
123
00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:17,763
- Mm-mm.
- Yeah.
124
00:05:18,465 --> 00:05:20,965
My impulse is to take the heat off it.
125
00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:22,685
Try it as natural as possible.
126
00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:24,297
Try and make it sound real.
127
00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:26,165
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
128
00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:31,110
And David... seems to be going
in a different direction.
129
00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:34,859
- Can we just read on?
- Sure.
130
00:05:34,895 --> 00:05:36,285
Yeah, we can just save
questions like that until the end.
131
00:05:36,320 --> 00:05:37,405
Yeah, I would like that.
132
00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:39,125
"Because we have the fortune to exist
133
00:05:39,160 --> 00:05:41,725
"in a fantasy which nourishes
us forever."
134
00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:45,080
- "So, what do you want here?"
- "Not just to live, but to be heard."
135
00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:50,800
Michael, that... That's you.
136
00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:53,805
I'll just do it, shall I? Um...
137
00:05:53,840 --> 00:05:55,423
"So, what do you want here?"
138
00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:58,843
- "Not just to live, but to be heard."
- "Forever?"
139
00:05:58,879 --> 00:06:00,445
"For however long I have,
I want to be heard."
140
00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:02,205
Are you done for the day,
Michael, are you?
141
00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:03,789
- For now, yeah.
- I'll do both sides, shall I?
142
00:06:03,825 --> 00:06:04,714
Why's that?
143
00:06:04,750 --> 00:06:06,365
- "How can I help?"
- Why's that?
144
00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:08,807
You guys can just listen.
"I want to tell our story."
145
00:06:08,843 --> 00:06:11,040
- I'm having trouble with the words.
- Well, just try reading them.
146
00:06:11,076 --> 00:06:11,821
No, your words.
147
00:06:11,857 --> 00:06:13,964
We can discuss all these questions
at the end. That's what it's there for.
148
00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:16,765
- What's wrong with my words?
- I'm struggling to believe them.
149
00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:18,925
- There's a lot going on.
- A lot going on?
150
00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:20,512
- OK.
- Would you try something for me?
151
00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:21,645
Oh, sure. Happy to, yeah.
152
00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:22,348
Is that OK, Simon?
153
00:06:22,383 --> 00:06:24,005
I'd rather we just pushed on, actually.
154
00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:26,631
Won't take a sec. Just give me
"I want to be heard" again.
155
00:06:27,080 --> 00:06:29,080
- "I want to be heard."
- Simon?
156
00:06:30,034 --> 00:06:31,119
I thought that was great.
157
00:06:31,155 --> 00:06:33,280
- You don't think he sounds cartoonish?
- Cartoonish?
158
00:06:33,316 --> 00:06:35,721
- I've thought it for a while now.
- Absolutely not. No, I don't.
159
00:06:35,757 --> 00:06:37,282
It's why Georgia hasn't asked you
160
00:06:37,318 --> 00:06:38,842
- to do the audiobook for her novel.
- What?
161
00:06:38,878 --> 00:06:40,884
- I'm guessing.
- She sold her book?
162
00:06:40,920 --> 00:06:42,805
David, it's with you.
"I want to be heard."
163
00:06:42,840 --> 00:06:44,868
- "I want to be heard."
- "I want to be heard."
164
00:06:45,360 --> 00:06:47,205
- Please, can we carry on?
- "I want to be heard."
165
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:49,005
- "I want to be heard!"
- "I want to be heard."
166
00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:50,685
- "I want to be heard!"
- "I want to be heard."
167
00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:52,845
- "I want to be heard!"
- "I want to be heard."
168
00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:55,365
But I... I want to be heard,
so I'm trying to be heard!
169
00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:57,485
Just... It's simple.
"I want to be heard."
170
00:06:57,520 --> 00:07:00,645
"I want to be heard!" It's got
to have something behind it.
171
00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:02,245
No, it's got to come from somewhere.
172
00:07:02,280 --> 00:07:04,365
Just because you're mumbling
doesn't make it good.
173
00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:06,405
I speak the same language
as you. You don't have to...
174
00:07:06,440 --> 00:07:07,805
You're barely speaking, though.
175
00:07:07,840 --> 00:07:10,245
- You're basically whispering it.
- "I want to be heard."
176
00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:11,925
Let's pretend we're all human beings...
177
00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:14,685
Yeah, who have ears
that need to receive the vibrations.
178
00:07:14,720 --> 00:07:17,005
It's not a hearing thing.
It's sort of a feeling thing.
179
00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:18,725
You know, what I'm doing makes sense.
180
00:07:18,760 --> 00:07:20,485
And what you're doing
is a sort of weird...
181
00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:21,605
It might sound weird to you
182
00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:24,285
because you won't be used to
hearing that coming out of yourself.
183
00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:25,992
It's so affected,
if you don't mind me saying.
184
00:07:26,028 --> 00:07:27,028
"I want to be heard."
185
00:07:27,064 --> 00:07:29,669
Isn't it interesting, Simon,
that if you spend a career
186
00:07:29,705 --> 00:07:33,044
speaking in such a stilted
sort of artificial way,
187
00:07:33,080 --> 00:07:37,045
then hearing something that's
truthful can sound affected to you?
188
00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:38,343
"I want to be heard."
189
00:07:38,379 --> 00:07:40,405
It's... I mean, yeah.
190
00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:42,005
Maybe for Theatr Clwyd.
191
00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:43,052
I don't know.
192
00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:47,565
- No, no, I'm just...
- We'll do it all your way.
193
00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:49,925
I'm just doing it
exactly how you want to do it.
194
00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:53,525
- "Ooh, listen to me!"
- At least I can hear that!
195
00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:56,005
At least I can hear that. Simon. Simon.
196
00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:57,322
Simon.
197
00:07:57,520 --> 00:07:58,560
I mean...
198
00:08:06,440 --> 00:08:10,165
Yeah, it's all completely normal,
you just need to stay relaxed
199
00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:11,725
and keep breathing, OK?
200
00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:13,689
- It's all going to be fine. I promise.
- Georgia?
201
00:08:13,725 --> 00:08:15,890
That's it. In...
202
00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:17,711
- Georgia.
- Out...
203
00:08:17,746 --> 00:08:18,565
You busy?
204
00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:19,805
Yeah, a little bit, yeah.
205
00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:21,346
Do I sound cartoonish to you?
206
00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:23,925
- What?
- Cartoonish.
207
00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:25,025
- No.
- You sure?
208
00:08:25,060 --> 00:08:26,125
Yeah, I'm sure.
209
00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:27,913
Yeah. That's it.
210
00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:29,864
Deep breath in.
211
00:08:30,280 --> 00:08:32,205
Michael doesn't think
I make it sound real.
212
00:08:32,240 --> 00:08:34,165
Deep breath out. What?
213
00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:36,835
- The play.
- What, is he still angry at you?
214
00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:39,485
I've apologised.
215
00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:40,925
OK, what did Simon say?
216
00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:43,098
He was busy reading the other parts.
217
00:08:43,134 --> 00:08:44,565
Why was he reading the other parts?
218
00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:46,779
Michael and I were having
a discussion about tone.
219
00:08:47,480 --> 00:08:48,605
Yes, sorry, I'm still here.
220
00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:51,005
- How far apart are they now?
- We're doing a bit for Jo later.
221
00:08:51,040 --> 00:08:53,085
- How long?
- Not long, I wouldn't have thought.
222
00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:54,285
Oh, you're on that... Sorry.
223
00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:56,645
Yeah. OK. I'll phone them now.
All right. Hold on one sec.
224
00:08:56,680 --> 00:08:58,240
Babe, can I borrow your phone?
225
00:08:59,377 --> 00:09:00,582
When are you talking to Jo?
226
00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:02,925
- In about an hour.
- OK. Well, you know,
227
00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:04,525
she's got taste and all the money.
228
00:09:04,560 --> 00:09:06,148
So why don't you see what she says?
229
00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:09,805
Yeah, hi. I'm phoning on behalf of
Victoria Kay. She's gone into labour
230
00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:11,765
and said you'd be able
to take her to hospital.
231
00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:14,365
- Might do a bit of writing.
- Yeah, that's... That's a great idea!
232
00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:15,845
Got a really good idea for this scene
233
00:09:15,880 --> 00:09:18,885
where a Scottish hero takes
a shit on a Welsh twat's head.
234
00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:20,665
That sounds promising.
Yeah, that's the one.
235
00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:22,525
- Did you sell your novel?
- 233.
236
00:09:22,560 --> 00:09:23,477
- OK.
- Georgia.
237
00:09:23,513 --> 00:09:24,565
- All right.
- Did you sell your novel?
238
00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:25,363
Yes, I did.
239
00:09:25,399 --> 00:09:26,805
Why would you not
have told me about that?
240
00:09:26,840 --> 00:09:28,000
I didn't know how you'd react.
241
00:09:28,036 --> 00:09:29,961
I'd have been really
fucking nice about it!
242
00:09:29,997 --> 00:09:31,262
You don't seem to be being
fucking nice about it.
243
00:09:31,298 --> 00:09:34,370
I'd just like to point out that's
exactly why I didn't tell you. OK?
244
00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:38,045
- OK, I have to go now.
- Where are you going?
245
00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:40,165
Vicky's gone into labour.
I need to go and help her.
246
00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:41,765
And you're going to have to stay here.
247
00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:43,165
Are you going to be OK meeting Jo?
248
00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:43,963
Yes.
249
00:09:43,998 --> 00:09:45,996
Looking after the kids, cooking
them dinner and getting them to bed?
250
00:09:46,032 --> 00:09:47,445
- I can manage all that.
- Yeah?
251
00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:48,565
How long are you going to be?
252
00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:49,560
I won't be back till tomorrow.
253
00:09:49,596 --> 00:09:50,676
Oh, fine!
254
00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:53,974
Beep-beep.
255
00:09:54,327 --> 00:09:55,916
- See, that's Road Runner.
- I know.
256
00:09:55,952 --> 00:09:56,853
That's cartoonish.
257
00:09:56,889 --> 00:09:58,614
I can do it when I choose to do it.
258
00:09:58,650 --> 00:09:59,775
Yep.
259
00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:04,000
Go on. Go and do the deed,
Florence Nightingale.
260
00:10:22,238 --> 00:10:26,438
Simon tells me things have become
a little bit tense between you?
261
00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:29,480
No.
262
00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:32,845
- Where is Simon?
- Well, I'm hosting the meeting,
263
00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:34,960
- and I'm not letting him in.
- OK.
264
00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:39,804
Um, we said we were going to read
some of the play for you today.
265
00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:41,120
If you're ready to read.
266
00:10:42,009 --> 00:10:44,075
- Sure.
- Easy peasy.
267
00:10:45,480 --> 00:10:47,725
Did Simon say that we haven't
actually spent
268
00:10:47,760 --> 00:10:49,885
- a lot of time on the actual text?
- No?
269
00:10:49,921 --> 00:10:50,964
Yeah, no,
270
00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:54,240
we've been operating from
a more conceptual place.
271
00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:57,484
- Is that you on that mug?
- No.
272
00:10:59,680 --> 00:11:01,400
How serious is this?
273
00:11:03,504 --> 00:11:05,107
You don't need to put your hand up.
274
00:11:05,845 --> 00:11:07,216
Michael's being insufferable.
275
00:11:07,252 --> 00:11:09,137
- OK.
- Oh!
276
00:11:09,173 --> 00:11:11,498
Let's try and be a bit more
constructive.
277
00:11:11,804 --> 00:11:13,969
No, you don't have to put your hand up.
278
00:11:14,005 --> 00:11:16,325
Well, do you think
that I sound cartoonish?
279
00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:18,445
- No.
- Right. Well, because Michael's upset,
280
00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:22,125
he started throwing around
some very unhelpful phrases.
281
00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:23,565
Well, why is Michael upset?
282
00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:26,645
Well, Michael is upset, Jo,
because he didn't realise
283
00:11:26,680 --> 00:11:28,245
that he was second choice for the role,
284
00:11:28,280 --> 00:11:30,405
which... cos apparently,
that has never happened
285
00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:31,528
in the history of theatre ever.
286
00:11:31,564 --> 00:11:34,104
We really don't need to keep
raising our hands, so...
287
00:11:34,538 --> 00:11:35,600
Michael.
288
00:11:35,636 --> 00:11:39,459
It is true that I have never
been the second choice before.
289
00:11:43,640 --> 00:11:44,925
Sorry, is that...? That's...
290
00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:47,005
That's literally your
complete point, is it?
291
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:47,919
I'd like it noted.
292
00:11:47,955 --> 00:11:49,520
I mean, do you see what
I'm having to work with?
293
00:11:49,556 --> 00:11:51,001
Is that why you're upset, Michael?
294
00:11:51,037 --> 00:11:54,764
No, no, I'm upset because David
and Simon are fucking liars.
295
00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:57,445
All right. I admit it was handled badly.
296
00:11:57,481 --> 00:11:58,526
Yes. David?
297
00:11:58,562 --> 00:12:00,967
Yes, I will absolutely hold my hands up
298
00:12:01,003 --> 00:12:03,008
that I did hold some stuff back.
299
00:12:03,044 --> 00:12:05,969
The reason I did that is because
of my experience of Michael.
300
00:12:06,005 --> 00:12:09,610
I knew that at this time, he would
become overly sensitive.
301
00:12:09,646 --> 00:12:12,571
- Oh, fuck! Come on!
- I didn't want to hold things up.
302
00:12:12,607 --> 00:12:15,132
- No, no. Let's not play the blame game!
- We had limited time!
303
00:12:15,168 --> 00:12:17,004
Let's not start doing that.
304
00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:20,565
- Start doing what?
- Pointing fucking fingers!
305
00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:23,845
You scotty! That is you
on that fucking mug!
306
00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:27,045
Oh, what? Oh, this mug?
This mug here? This one here?
307
00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:28,445
Yeah. Look at that!
308
00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:29,443
Look at that!
309
00:12:29,478 --> 00:12:32,405
You narcissistic Scottish man boy child.
310
00:12:32,440 --> 00:12:35,516
Fill this mug full of your tears
and make you drink them!
311
00:12:35,551 --> 00:12:36,565
Na-na-na-na.
312
00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:40,885
Let's just all take a step back.
313
00:12:42,654 --> 00:12:43,694
Yeah.
314
00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:47,325
- That wasn't nice.
- Look, Jo.
315
00:12:47,360 --> 00:12:48,360
Yeah?
316
00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:53,485
You know as well as I do that I add
"con-creet" value to any project
317
00:12:53,521 --> 00:12:55,926
- that I'm a part of.
- Sorry, you add "con-creet" value?
318
00:12:55,962 --> 00:12:58,409
- That's what I said.
- "Con-creet" value?
319
00:12:58,720 --> 00:13:00,165
Is that the same as concrete value?
320
00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:02,085
- I said concrete.
- No, you said "con-creet."
321
00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:03,805
- I know what I said.
- You said "con-creet".
322
00:13:03,840 --> 00:13:06,365
It's funny, because I thought
you were classically trained.
323
00:13:06,400 --> 00:13:07,725
I thought you'd know, you know,
324
00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:10,414
where to put the "em-fasis"
on a word, but apparently not.
325
00:13:10,450 --> 00:13:13,488
I bring gravitas,
which is very important.
326
00:13:13,524 --> 00:13:15,249
- I bring charm...
- All right.
327
00:13:15,285 --> 00:13:16,770
- ...Which is more important.
- Mm!
328
00:13:16,806 --> 00:13:22,324
No-one is doubting what either of
you bring to the party. All right?
329
00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:24,680
I just want to get this resolved.
330
00:13:25,056 --> 00:13:26,400
The play is a classic.
331
00:13:26,761 --> 00:13:29,366
You are both exceptional.
332
00:13:29,402 --> 00:13:32,482
And Simon, he really knows
what he's doing, he does.
333
00:13:33,926 --> 00:13:36,211
We have a chance here
to come out of all of this
334
00:13:36,247 --> 00:13:38,323
with something really special.
335
00:13:38,887 --> 00:13:42,059
If we can just resolve... Can we
resolve this, please, David?
336
00:13:42,920 --> 00:13:44,485
- Yeah.
- Yes. Thank you.
337
00:13:44,520 --> 00:13:46,765
Yes. Michael?
338
00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:49,205
Sorry, I just... You know,
I just want to make sure
339
00:13:49,240 --> 00:13:52,106
- that I don't get oversensitive.
- Oh! Such bullshit!
340
00:13:52,141 --> 00:13:53,085
See, see!
341
00:13:53,120 --> 00:13:55,765
- David needs to calm down, too.
- Oh, yeah, do I?
342
00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:59,565
Cos when I get overemotional,
I start to sound cartoonish, don't I?
343
00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:01,446
Oh, I've heard that
about you as well, yeah.
344
00:14:01,481 --> 00:14:04,405
Fuck it! I wrote a scene
today about me taking a shit
345
00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:06,805
on your big fucking Welsh, hairy head.
346
00:14:06,840 --> 00:14:08,405
Yeah, well you've...
347
00:14:08,440 --> 00:14:09,685
Oh, sh...
348
00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:12,819
I've got to go. Sorry. I'll be back.
349
00:14:12,855 --> 00:14:15,000
I've just got to drop some
shopping off for my neighbour.
350
00:14:15,036 --> 00:14:17,764
Oh, that's kind. Isn't it?
That's kind of him, David?
351
00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:19,285
No. She's blackmailing him.
352
00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:20,525
Right. Why?
353
00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:23,406
- Because he's a lush.
- She's harmless, OK?
354
00:14:23,442 --> 00:14:24,560
And she's alone.
355
00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:27,845
- Does she have any family?
- Her children are stuck in Cardiff.
356
00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:29,845
It's no trouble. I just pick up
the shopping,
357
00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:33,045
I drop it around at four, I ring
the doorbell, out she pops.
358
00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:34,685
We say "hello" and "hello".
359
00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:35,960
And that's the end of it.
360
00:14:35,996 --> 00:14:39,684
I did it yesterday and she made me
a Bara brith to say thank you.
361
00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:41,765
Oh, so it's a symbiotic
relationship, then.
362
00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:43,325
What's a Bara brith, Michael?
363
00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:45,725
Um, it's a Welsh fruitcake.
364
00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:47,205
Takes one to know one!
365
00:14:47,240 --> 00:14:48,579
Don't. Don't.
366
00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:53,205
What are you dropping off to her today?
367
00:14:54,020 --> 00:14:55,260
Um...
368
00:14:58,880 --> 00:15:04,722
Mixed fruit, sugar, tea,
mixed spice, flour and eggs.
369
00:15:05,160 --> 00:15:06,640
What's she making you today?
370
00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:10,640
It's another Bara brith, isn't it?
371
00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:13,000
All right. Hang on.
372
00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:17,725
- Is Simon up to this?
- He's terrified of you both.
373
00:15:17,760 --> 00:15:18,752
Why?
374
00:15:18,787 --> 00:15:21,800
Cos you're behaving
like twats. You're twats.
375
00:15:24,374 --> 00:15:25,690
Yeah. I mean, it'll be fine.
376
00:15:25,726 --> 00:15:27,405
We went through half a dozen
of these in Good Omens.
377
00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:28,845
How did you resolve it then?
378
00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:30,786
- Battleships.
- Battleships?
379
00:15:30,821 --> 00:15:31,445
Mm.
380
00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:35,125
With a pen and a paper and a grid
with the...? Hit and miss and...?
381
00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:36,280
Yeah. Yeah.
382
00:15:39,040 --> 00:15:40,043
You're back.
383
00:15:40,459 --> 00:15:42,184
Just telling Jo about Battleships.
384
00:15:42,220 --> 00:15:43,340
Oh, yeah.
385
00:15:45,517 --> 00:15:46,617
You all right?
386
00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:49,680
She didn't answer the door.
387
00:15:58,730 --> 00:16:00,935
I think the world would
be a much better place
388
00:16:00,971 --> 00:16:03,536
if more problems
were resolved like this.
389
00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:05,127
E4.
390
00:16:05,163 --> 00:16:07,724
Ooh. Miss.
391
00:16:08,013 --> 00:16:10,245
Well, it's certainly helped us
over the years, hasn't it?
392
00:16:10,280 --> 00:16:11,805
Do you think it's game-specific?
393
00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:13,743
- We can try something else if you want?
- Like what?
394
00:16:13,779 --> 00:16:16,645
- Twister.
- It's too sexual.
395
00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:17,720
B2.
396
00:16:18,966 --> 00:16:20,291
Is a miss.
397
00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:23,151
- Chess?
- Nah, it's too complex.
398
00:16:23,187 --> 00:16:26,232
- Snakes and ladders?
- Oh, now, you're talking!
399
00:16:26,268 --> 00:16:27,340
Yeah.
400
00:16:27,548 --> 00:16:30,153
- Uh, D2.
- Hit!
401
00:16:30,189 --> 00:16:31,714
- Oh!
- Oh!
402
00:16:31,750 --> 00:16:34,670
A very palpable hit!
403
00:16:37,128 --> 00:16:40,935
I'm sorry I let the cat out of
the bag about Georgia's novel.
404
00:16:40,971 --> 00:16:42,880
- It's all right.
- B3?
405
00:16:42,916 --> 00:16:46,001
- Is a miss.
- And that I said you were cartoonish.
406
00:16:46,037 --> 00:16:49,962
- That wasn't fair.
- Well, I mean, it's not so bad
407
00:16:49,998 --> 00:16:53,563
cos I am, after all,
the voice of Scrooge McDuck.
408
00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:54,939
Is that...?
409
00:16:58,473 --> 00:17:00,480
- What? The voice of Scrooge McDuck?
- Yeah.
410
00:17:00,516 --> 00:17:02,004
- No.
- Who's that, then?
411
00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:04,965
I... I have no idea.
412
00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:07,720
That's like nothing I've ever heard.
413
00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:10,757
Um, D3.
414
00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:14,725
You sunk my...
415
00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:15,845
I'll do it as Mickey Mouse.
416
00:17:16,116 --> 00:17:18,445
You've sunk my battleship!
417
00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:20,179
Victory is mine!
418
00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:26,165
Does this victory
419
00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:30,027
mean we get to re-explore
the composition of our credits?
420
00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:34,320
You can have it.
421
00:17:36,339 --> 00:17:37,499
She'll be fine.
422
00:17:39,799 --> 00:17:41,919
Michael, she'll be fine.
423
00:17:43,100 --> 00:17:47,100
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