All language subtitles for S1E13-Ed The Tout_Subtítulos01.ENG

[whinnies]

Hello, I'm Mr. Ed.

♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪

♪ And no one can talk
to a horse, of course ♪

♪ That is, of course,
unless the horse ♪

♪ Is the famous
Mister Ed ♪

♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪

♪ He'll give you
the answer ♪

♪ That you'll endorse ♪

♪ He's always
on a steady course ♪

♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪

[mumbling]

3/4 of a mile at 11--

Good morning, Ed.

Good morn.

Ed, what happened
to the sports section?

I'm reading it.

Hey, wait.

I'm not through yet.

You know I like
to read it with my coffee.

Well, I like to read it
with my hay.

Well, I'm sorry.

Why did you mark
the horse races?

Oh, don't worry.
I'm not betting.

Hello, Roger.

Want me to get you
a cup of coffee?

No, thanks.

Oh, what's this?

Are you playing the horses?

No, I even think
the merry-go-round is fixed.

Well, then who made
these selections?

Would you believe it
if I told you it was Mr. Ed?

Well, I'll tell you the truth.

The little boy who delivers
the paper is a tout.

Wilbur, you surprise me.

I thought you had more sense
than to play the races.

If you must throw
your money away,

give it to your wife.

Believe me. I never gamble.

You know, I had a good friend
who lost a fortune on the races.

Then he started drinking.

First, one bottle a day,
and then two.

Finally he was buying it
by the case.

You know what happened
to that man?

Owns his own liquor store?

Wasn't funny to my friend.

He lost his family,
his business, his home.

They darn near kicked him out
of the Harvard Club.

Look, Roger, I appreciate
you concern,

but believe me, it isn't
necessary.

[door closes]

Hello, girls.

How's the charity drive
coming along?

We've never had "no" said to us
in so many different ways.

I never thought
it would be so hard

to collect money
for a milk fund.

How much did you get?

Uh, $40.

Does that include the 20
I gave you this morning?

Uh-huh.

Does that include the 20
I gave you this morning?

I guess we didn't have
such a good day.

Hey, I have a thought.

Why not let Wilbur run your $40
into a few thousand

at the race track?

[Carol]
Race track?

Wilbur, you don't--

W-Wilbur have you been betting
on the horses?

Of course not, honey.

Oh, no. He just marked off these
horses' names

because it's their birthday

and he wants to send them
some presents.

Come, dear.

Wilbur, take my advice.

Forget the races.

And, uh, just to remove
any temptation

I'll take this along with me.

And, uh, incidentally,
you're saving a dime.

Yes, dear.

Well, how about Mabel?

Well, if you deduct
what we spent

for gas, stationery,
phone, and circulars

our charity drive
has already lost $15.

Okay, thanks. Talk to you later.

May I come in?

Oh, hi, Roger.

Is Wilbur here?

He's upstairs.

Wilbur!

You must be excited
about his luck today.

What luck?

Why, your husband
picked eight winners.

Eight winners?

At the race track.

Well, here. Look for yourself.

Here are Wilbur's selections.

And here are the winners.

Hi, Roger.

I'll be right back.

Honey, you-you picked
eight winners.

Winners?

Yes, at the race track.

Oh, that's nice.

I picked eight winners?

Here they are.

What do you know?

Eight in a row.

Not bad.

[laughs]

What am I so happy about?
I didn't bet.

Sure, kid.

I didn't.

Will you excuse me, Roger.
I-I've got to feed Ed.

Is it possible he didn't bet?

Oh, I'm sure he didn't.

You say that so calmly.

If I picked eight winners and
didn't bet,

my wife would be
on her way to Reno.

Ed, you picked eight winners.

Well, there were
only eight races.

Ed, how did you get so lucky?

Not luck.

Just horse sense.

You mean, you can
actually pick the horses?

Better than you can pick people.

What's the secret?

How do you do it?

Simple.

I see who's running
and I pick the best.

How do you know
so much about horses?

Isn't that a stupid question?

Yes, yes.

Eight winners. That's amazing.

I got a reward for you.

Hey, neighbor. Let me give you
a hand with that.

Well, thanks. I think I can
manage from here.

Well, if a man can't help
a friend,

what good is he?

That's true.

Oh, by the way, Wilbur,

you know you were
just lucky today.

You could never pick
eight winners in a row again.

Yes, I could.

But what's the difference?

You don't play the races.

No, no, no, no, of course not.

I'm just interested

from the scientific
point of view.

Oh, oh.

Is that why you're being
so helpful this evening?

Oh, Wilbur, please.

Now, uh, just to satisfy me,

would you make some selections
for tomorrow?

I would rather not, Roger.

Admit it. You were just lucky.

Once they get on the track,

nobody can tell what these
stupid animals are liable to do.

j@
[nickers]

Uh, look, Roger.

I don't...

Okay, Roger.

You call out the list
of tomorrow's entries,

and I'll-I'll give you
the winners.

Good.

First race. Esteban?

No.

Bleat Lady?

No.

Sunny boy?

Sunny Boy? Uh, Sunny Boy?

Yeah, that's-that's the winner.

Sunny Boy.

Sunny Boy?

Well, he's 80 to 1.

According to this handicap,

he's never beaten any of these
other nags.

Well, tomorrow he's running
for revenge.

I can hardly wait to check
the paper tonight.

Then we'll see how good
you really are.

Now, the second race.

Maybe the boy didn't deliver
the paper yet.

Could be up on the roof.

Kid's got a great pitching arm.

Lots of speed but no control.

Ah, here it is.

Yeah, now we'll cut
you down to size, my boy.

o(
Roger, are you a sporting man?

What do you have in mind?

If I picked eight winners again,

you carry me into the house.

If I didn't, I carry you.

You're on.

You can put me down here,
driver.

What on earth is going on?

He never carried me
over the threshold.

My dear, you never picked
eight horses in a row.

Again?

Yes, eight yesterday,
eight today.

It's only 16 winners.

What's all the fuss about?

Kay, how much money do we have
in the bank?

Oh, how fabulous!
We'll all be rich.

My mink will be wearing sable.

Aladdin had his lamp,
we have our Wilbur.

I wonder when
the new model yachts come out.

How do you pick them?

Yes, when did you find out
you had this power?

Tell us, swami.

Okay, it all happened
two days ago.

I was sitting in the barn
concXientrating on some sketche.

All of the sudden,

I had a strange sensatoion.

I found myself circling horses
on the sports page.

Too sour, too sour.

May I touch you?

Wilbur, what time do we leave
for the track tomorrow?

Why wait for tomorrow?
Aren't there any night races?

Our milk drive.

Honey, if you pick a few horses,

we'll have
all the money we need.

Milk drive?
Why, with Wilbur on our side,

those kids are going to be
drinking champagne.

Roger, I don't bet and I thought
you were opposed to gambling.

My boy, backing you
is not gambling.

It's hoarding. Now get busy.
Pick it, go ahead.

Get him a pencil.

Pencil? Here, Wilbur,
take my pen.

Keep it. Go on.

I don't like to bet.

You bet for matchsticks,
we'll bet for money.

Honey, for the charity drive,
please.

Well, if it's for charity.

I better go in the barn
and concentrate.

You want me to carry you?

I'll help.

Please.

What a brilliant man I married.

Oh, he's not just yours now,
Carol.

He belongs to the world.

Hollywood Park.

5,000,000.

Hialeah.

5,000,000.

Hey, what do you mean you can't
pick any more winners?

I don't like betting for money.

It's against my principles.

You got me into this.

They think I have the power.

What can I tell them?

Tell them you blew a fuse.

Aqueduct.

Short season, 3,000,000.

Add them up.

25,000,000.

Give the government 24,000,000.

Oh, well, easy come, easy go.

Oh, back so soon?

Where are your selections?

I don't have them.

You-you-- Oh, you left them
in your office, huh?

I'll go get them.
Here, sit down, my boy.

Sit right here. Relax.

Roger...

I haven't got any.

You haven't?

Oh, you don't
like the horses today, huh?

Well, that's all right.
We'll pick them some other day.

You know, nothing lost except
the interest on the money.

Roger, I'm afraid I'm never
going to pick the horses again.

Roger, I'm--

I must have lost the knack.

I tried, but it just
wouldn't come.

Sorry, Roger.

Why, darling, what's wrong?

We've been wiped out.

What? What happened?

Now I know how Benedict Arnold's
wife must have felt.

Come, dear. We are not
in the house of a friend.

What happened--

Please, my dear.

I'm not well.

Just look at them.

I wish Roger would start talking
to Wilbur.

If only Wilbur would let him win
a few races.

Oh, it's not Wilbur's fault

he lost the knack
of picking horses.

Does he ever talk in his sleep?

Sometimes.

Well, if he ever mumbles
a long shot,

jot it down.

x
I just read about a wonderful new spray for roses.

It's a home-made dust.

You mix
nine parts of dusting sulfur

with one part
of arsenate of lead.

Who's going
to win the first race?

I don't know.

Go play with your arsenate.

Huh-uh.

Ed?

Huh-uh.

Ed, just one winner?

Just the seventh race?

The big one?

No, I couldn't live with myself.

Ed, please.

May I quote you
from Oscar Wilde?

Oscar Wilde?

He does not win
who plays with sin.

Well, I've got one for you.

He gets no dinner
who picks no winner.

What fool said that?

I did.

I mean--

All right, I don't need
your help.

I'll pick
the seventh race myself.

It's easy. Uh...

Devil's Tail.

Is it going to win?

Is it going to lose?

Is it a horse?

I think we need some fresh air.

Oh, I guess I shouldn't
have volunteered

to head our charity drive.

Maybe one of the other girls
could do a better job.

Oh, don't blame yourself,
sweetie.

It's the kids
I'm thinking about.

That milk fund's very important
to them.

Too bad we didn't make
some bets yesterday

when Wilbur picked
all those winners.

Do you really think he's lost
his touch?

[Carol]
Oh, he must have.

He certainly wouldn't refuse
to pick winners

to help a cause like this.

Say, Wilbur.

Yeah?

You should've told me
it was for the milk fund.

You're going to pick
today's winners?

Only for today.

Oh, thanks, Ed.

Imagine picking Devil's Tail.

That horse will finish
two lengths behind his own tail.

Thanks, Ed.

Stop it.

Wait until I tell them.

There must be some other way
to make money.

Carol! Kay!

I've got the touch again.

I'm going to pick
the winners today.

Oh, darling.

Oh, I'll tell Addison.
Addi--

Thank heaven,
you've come home to us.

Aren't you angry at me anymore?

Golden boy.

Was I ever angry with you?

I'll need a few minutes alone
to make my selection.

Oh, of course, of course.

Everybody, out of the yard.

My friend wants privacy.

Out, out, out.

Ah, doll.

Shh.

Do you think I look better
in a blue yacht or a pink one?

Don't be chincy, dear.

Buy both.

[Caller]
In the eighth race, Big Blue--

Five pounds over at 118 pounds.

Uh, King's Ransom to win.
That's number 3.

Thank you.

Number 3, or course.

Buddy boy.

[Caller]
The horses are approaching the starting gate.

Let's go, honey.

Oh, I hope we win.

Oh, I can see those mink sails
on my yacht now.

[Caller]
Starting gate.

The flag is up.

[cheering]

And they're coming
around the turn.

It's Cliver in front.

Followed by Blue Boy,
Windstorm...

Where are you going, honey?

I want to be first in line
to collect my money.

We've got King's Ransom.

And he's dead last.

Oh, I knew he couldn't do it.

Three days in a row.

And at the top of the stretch
it's Cliver.

Cliver moving on
at the round of the haul.

Here comes King's Ransom.

It's King's Ransom
pulling ahead.

Coming down the line,
and it's King's Ransom.

[cheering]

Wait for me, golden boy.

Four winners in a row
and all long shots.

You're a genius.

Four long shots in a row?

What's he got in this one?

Lady's Choice. Can't lose.

[Man]
Lady's Choice, please.

Follow my friend's advice.
It's like stealing money.

Lady's Choice.

Likewise.

Wilbur, aren't you going
to watch the race?

Why bother walking
back to the box?

Let's just wait here
for our money.

He sure is confident, ain't he?

My friend, a bank would lend you
any amount on his predictions.

[cheering]

Number 4, please.

Thank you.

Number 4.

Likewise.

Likewise.

[cheering]

Well, who's going to win
the next race, oh wise one?

Oh, my, uh, my selection is

Blue Bell.

[all]
Blue Bell!

Will you come along with me,
please?

Mr. Post,

According to Detective Weams

you picked
six long shots in a row.

Is that against the law?

Oh, of course not.

But as steward of this track,

I am naturally curious
about your good fortune.

Naturally.

Have you been getting advice
for any of the jockeys?

- No, sir.
- The owners? The trainers?

Then who has been advising you?

My horse.

Mr. Post, you promised
to cooperate.

Will you please tell us who
has been giving you these tips.

Ed.

Ed who?

My horse
doesn't have a last name.

He must have a last name.

I see that we're not getting
anywhere.

Gentlemen, I can clear
this whole thing up

with one phone call.

May I use your phone.

- Go right ahead.
- Thank you.

[phone ringing]

Post residence.

Hello, Ed. It's me.

I'm at the race track.

Ed, isn't it true

that you've been giving me
all the winners today?

Sure, I gave you
all the winners.

Hello, this is Mr. Gray,
the steward.

Who is this?

Mr. Ed, the horse.

I don't know
what you're doing, Post,

but whatever it is, stop it.

Yes.

Oh, if either of you gentlemen
want to bet the seventh race,

the winner will
be Prince Charming.

Prince Charming?

Yes, my horse just told me

that Mrs. Prince Charming
had a baby last week,

so he'll be trying
to win for the kid.

What happened to your friend?

Yeah, who are we going
to bet on the seventh race?

I don't know.

Oh, yes, I do. Here he is.

[all talking]

Quiet! Quiet!

Please, cut, everybody. Please.

Uh...

It is Prince Charming.

[all shouting]
Prince Charming!

[Caller]
Attention, Prince Charming, number 7

has been declared.

Hey, did you hear that?

Prince Charming was declared.
What's your next choice?

[all shouting]

Please, please, please.

Don't panic.

My goodness, there's plenty
of money for everybody.

Well, Wilbur?

I don't know.

Prince Charming
was my only choice.

[Man]
Oh, come on. You got to have some other one you like.

Look at all the horses
that are running.

[Man]
Come on.

Gentlemen,

he has circled Devil's Tail.

[all shouting]
Devil's Tail!

[Caller]
The horses are at the starting gate.

The big race is going
to start pretty soon.

The girls had better hurry back.

What's the rush?
We didn't bet this race.

We put all our winnings
on Devil's Tail.

Well, that's right.

I may sell my house
and move into my bank.

What did you do?

Who told you
to bet on Devil's Tail?

I did.

I borrowed your newspaper
from your pocket.

That horse can't win.

I picked it myself this morning.

You picked all of them, darling.

[Caller]
And they're off and running.

[cheering]

You shouldn't have bet
on Devil's Tail.

He hasn't got a chance.

[Caller]
Out in front, it's Devil's Tail

on top by one length.

It's six winners.
How greedy can you--

It's Devil's Tail
by one length.

Remember, I-I picked him.

All by myself.

It's Devil's Tale,
now by five lengths.

I was just sitting
in the office, you know.

Nobody helped me.

Just by sheer logic I decided
to take on Devil's Tail.

And here come Silk Lady
on the outside.

She's closing
in on Devil's Tail.

Coming around the corner,
it's Silk Lady.

Silk Lady, by half a length.

[cheering]

We have a winner,
and it's Silk Lady.

Well, you can't win them all.

I can't bear to think of it.

My pretty, blue yacht sank
in the seventh race.

My 12 apartment buildings.

Think of all that money

we could've had
for that milk fund.

Oh, wait a minute, honey.

Here's some money
for your milk fund.

Wh-wh-where did you get
all this money?

I didn't bet
on the seventh race.

You didn't?

My mother didn't raise me
to be a gambler.

Oh, Wilbur.

Right there. Right there.

Closed-Captioned By
J.R. Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA

♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪

♪ And no one can talk
to a horse, of course ♪

♪ That is, of course,
unless the horse ♪

♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪

♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪

♪ He'll give you
the answer ♪

♪ That you'll endorse ♪

♪ He's always
on a steady course ♪

♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪

♪ People yakkity-yak
a streak ♪

♪ And waste
your time of day ♪

♪ But Mister Ed
will never speak ♪

♪ Unless he has
something to say ♪

♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪

♪ And this one will talk
till his voice is hoarse ♪

♪ You never heard
of a talking horse? ♪

♪ Well, listen to this ♪

[Mister Ed]
♪ I am Mister Ed ♪

[Man]
This has been a Filmways television presentation.