All language subtitles for On.His.Majestys.Secret.Service

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil Download
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:18,083 --> 00:01:19,458 Why isn't she here? 2 00:01:19,625 --> 00:01:21,375 Hurry up! 3 00:01:27,625 --> 00:01:28,792 Unicorn 4 00:01:29,333 --> 00:01:30,750 Your Majesty. 5 00:01:31,417 --> 00:01:33,208 Why isn't she ready yet? 6 00:01:48,125 --> 00:01:51,125 Great move, Your Majesty. 7 00:01:51,458 --> 00:01:54,625 Come and help. 8 00:01:56,458 --> 00:01:58,958 Grab the chicken...come on... 9 00:02:03,208 --> 00:02:04,708 Madam is here. 10 00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:06,833 Madam is here. 11 00:02:07,083 --> 00:02:08,333 So finally she has come. 12 00:02:09,708 --> 00:02:12,417 Good evening, Your Majesty. 13 00:02:12,583 --> 00:02:15,042 I have been waiting for you for a long time. 14 00:02:21,250 --> 00:02:24,625 Honey, shouldn't you shave your face? 15 00:02:24,792 --> 00:02:27,917 Your beard hurts me. 16 00:02:28,375 --> 00:02:29,917 I did shave it this morning, 17 00:02:30,125 --> 00:02:31,792 but as Your Majesty has noticed, it has grown back. 18 00:02:32,042 --> 00:02:34,750 What should we do? 19 00:02:35,583 --> 00:02:37,792 Well...I got a beard too. 20 00:02:37,958 --> 00:02:40,875 It's a tie then. 21 00:02:41,042 --> 00:02:43,583 Yes, Your Majesty. Let's go to the bedroom. 22 00:02:45,458 --> 00:02:47,458 There are so many beautiful concubines in the palace. 23 00:02:47,708 --> 00:02:51,833 Why does His Majesty always choose the ugly Madam? 24 00:02:52,042 --> 00:02:55,875 The Empress chooses her for His Majesty. 25 00:02:56,083 --> 00:02:59,958 So His Majesty only knows two women. 26 00:03:00,208 --> 00:03:05,292 And the Empress would be the most beautiful one. 27 00:03:10,375 --> 00:03:14,500 Your Highness, the magic mirror from Japan has arrived. 28 00:03:16,042 --> 00:03:17,833 Ha... 29 00:03:29,333 --> 00:03:32,750 Honey, why do you always eat first? 30 00:03:33,042 --> 00:03:34,958 Your Majesty, don't be mad at me. 31 00:03:35,417 --> 00:03:36,917 I'll chop off your head, bastard. 32 00:03:37,750 --> 00:03:41,750 Royal Secret Guards, help! 33 00:03:42,458 --> 00:03:43,917 Royal Secret Guards are here. 34 00:03:46,375 --> 00:03:47,458 Royal Dragon 35 00:03:47,625 --> 00:03:48,542 Royal Rabbit 36 00:03:49,167 --> 00:03:50,250 Royal Snake 37 00:03:50,583 --> 00:03:51,542 Royal Tiger 38 00:05:18,333 --> 00:05:19,708 Who send you here? 39 00:05:38,083 --> 00:05:39,083 Go! 40 00:05:40,250 --> 00:05:42,083 See, my Royal Secret Guards... 41 00:05:42,292 --> 00:05:47,333 protect me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. 42 00:05:47,750 --> 00:05:49,583 Are you sure? 43 00:05:49,958 --> 00:05:51,250 What did you say? 44 00:05:51,500 --> 00:05:53,333 Japanese. 45 00:05:53,542 --> 00:05:55,458 How come you can speak Japanese? 46 00:05:56,250 --> 00:05:57,833 Because... 47 00:06:00,458 --> 00:06:01,708 Help! 48 00:06:01,958 --> 00:06:03,625 All your Royal Secret Guards are gone. 49 00:06:03,958 --> 00:06:04,958 Wrong. 50 00:06:05,833 --> 00:06:07,375 There is one left. 51 00:06:08,500 --> 00:06:09,625 Help! 52 00:06:09,833 --> 00:06:10,500 Don't worry, Your Majesty. 53 00:06:10,750 --> 00:06:13,208 I am coming. 54 00:06:28,292 --> 00:06:29,167 What is this? 55 00:06:29,375 --> 00:06:31,542 It's the Golden Lock, my new invention. 56 00:06:31,708 --> 00:06:33,500 -Beat him up... -Yes, Your Majesty. 57 00:06:33,708 --> 00:06:35,333 As a Royal Secret Guard, 58 00:06:35,583 --> 00:06:37,167 I am now putting you under arrest. 59 00:06:37,458 --> 00:06:39,292 You have the right to remain silent, but whatever you say... 60 00:06:39,583 --> 00:06:42,167 will be used as evidence in court. 61 00:06:51,333 --> 00:06:53,208 What is this then? 62 00:06:53,375 --> 00:06:54,625 That's our famous... 63 00:06:54,833 --> 00:06:56,125 ...human shield. 64 00:06:56,417 --> 00:06:59,708 We enjoyed putting it in public toilets to scare people. 65 00:07:00,083 --> 00:07:01,208 It can be used as a weapon, too. 66 00:07:08,583 --> 00:07:10,750 I am going to get him, Your Majesty. 67 00:07:10,958 --> 00:07:14,125 Madam, this magic mirror can answer any question you ask of it. 68 00:07:14,333 --> 00:07:18,417 Magic mirror, tell me who is the most beautiful woman in the world? 69 00:07:18,625 --> 00:07:22,083 Your Highness, it's you of course. 70 00:07:22,458 --> 00:07:23,708 Really? 71 00:07:28,167 --> 00:07:29,542 No. Just kidding. 72 00:07:29,917 --> 00:07:30,875 What did you say? 73 00:07:33,417 --> 00:07:35,125 Hit me? You wanna die? 74 00:07:35,333 --> 00:07:37,542 -What's up? -Robbery! 75 00:07:42,917 --> 00:07:45,292 MY goodness! 76 00:07:46,083 --> 00:07:47,958 Help! 77 00:07:59,708 --> 00:08:01,917 Sony for coming so late, Your Highness. 78 00:08:02,167 --> 00:08:04,333 Give him a beating. 79 00:08:06,417 --> 00:08:07,792 Let me. 80 00:08:08,917 --> 00:08:12,042 You bastard, you ruined everything. 81 00:08:14,625 --> 00:08:15,750 I am gonna beat you to death. 82 00:08:18,250 --> 00:08:20,042 How come you run so fast? 83 00:08:34,958 --> 00:08:37,500 It's high enough, I am gonna let go. 84 00:08:44,042 --> 00:08:45,167 Thanks. 85 00:08:45,417 --> 00:08:48,167 Royal Dog is really awesome, Brother you are so cool. 86 00:08:49,875 --> 00:08:51,208 Be careful. 87 00:08:51,417 --> 00:08:52,750 I got it. 88 00:09:13,083 --> 00:09:15,375 You'll better disarm and surrender. 89 00:09:15,625 --> 00:09:17,292 Or I will use force. 90 00:09:21,625 --> 00:09:22,917 Asking for help? 91 00:09:36,625 --> 00:09:37,583 Again. 92 00:09:39,917 --> 00:09:42,917 Bastard, I need to use the cannon. 93 00:09:57,333 --> 00:09:59,042 Look. 94 00:10:19,917 --> 00:10:23,250 Our warriors died for our country. 95 00:10:25,833 --> 00:10:27,250 Eternal umbrella! 96 00:10:27,917 --> 00:10:29,750 Not dead yet. 97 00:10:33,583 --> 00:10:34,958 Hi! 98 00:10:40,208 --> 00:10:42,042 Royal Secret Guards... 99 00:10:42,292 --> 00:10:46,250 love to drink Girlie's Red Wine. 100 00:10:47,333 --> 00:10:49,083 Girlie's Red Wine? What is the matter? 101 00:10:49,375 --> 00:10:50,625 Your Majesty, Girlie's Red... 102 00:10:50,833 --> 00:10:53,250 is the company which sponsors Royal Dog's scientific research. 103 00:10:53,458 --> 00:10:56,250 The Eternal umbrella is made with their money. 104 00:10:56,500 --> 00:10:59,208 I hate product placements in movies. 105 00:10:59,417 --> 00:11:00,125 Execute them! 106 00:11:00,292 --> 00:11:02,250 Yes. Your Majesty! 107 00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:08,833 Royal Rat 108 00:11:09,208 --> 00:11:10,500 Your Majesty. 109 00:11:13,375 --> 00:11:14,958 Your Majesty wants to know... 110 00:11:15,250 --> 00:11:18,250 where did you go last night? 111 00:11:18,458 --> 00:11:20,625 I... 112 00:11:21,125 --> 00:11:22,458 Royal Rat. 113 00:11:22,625 --> 00:11:26,792 You have been practicing the "Mighty Iron Body" kung fu, right? 114 00:11:26,958 --> 00:11:29,583 In case His Majesty is under attack, 115 00:11:29,750 --> 00:11:33,125 then you must use your Mighty Iron Body to shield His Majesty! 116 00:11:33,583 --> 00:11:36,958 Last night, you were still practicing, 117 00:11:37,167 --> 00:11:38,875 so you didn't shield His Majesty, right? 118 00:11:39,500 --> 00:11:40,625 Yes, Your Majesty. 119 00:11:40,792 --> 00:11:44,292 I guess that he went to the brothel last night instead of practicing kung fu. 120 00:11:44,542 --> 00:11:47,792 Yeah, why have they got clouds over their heads? 121 00:11:49,833 --> 00:11:52,375 Come on, let's drink... 122 00:11:52,625 --> 00:11:55,625 Royal Rat has been such a loyal servant. 123 00:11:55,875 --> 00:11:59,625 You will be rewarded with a thousand taels of gold, 124 00:12:00,125 --> 00:12:01,250 500 taels should be enough. 125 00:12:02,792 --> 00:12:06,042 Your Majesty, the other 500 taels, how about split it among us... 126 00:12:06,208 --> 00:12:07,458 as our reward? 127 00:12:07,625 --> 00:12:10,625 Last night, Royal Dog and Royal Tiger had worked hard to protect His Majesty. 128 00:12:10,917 --> 00:12:14,042 You two tell me how the money should be divided. 129 00:12:14,250 --> 00:12:16,917 I just want to show Your Majesty my new invention. 130 00:12:17,625 --> 00:12:18,750 Another new invention? 131 00:12:18,917 --> 00:12:21,417 Okay, show it to me. 132 00:12:21,542 --> 00:12:23,750 Your Majesty, this is my new invention... 133 00:12:24,042 --> 00:12:25,500 that will give you full protection. 134 00:12:25,750 --> 00:12:26,500 It's the impenetrable... 135 00:12:26,792 --> 00:12:28,292 Transformer armour. 136 00:12:31,292 --> 00:12:33,958 With this armour, even if all 12 of us are killed, 137 00:12:34,375 --> 00:12:35,208 no one can... 138 00:12:35,542 --> 00:12:36,833 ...hurt you. 139 00:12:37,208 --> 00:12:39,042 Really? 140 00:12:39,292 --> 00:12:40,333 Yes, Your Majesty. 141 00:12:40,542 --> 00:12:41,625 The beauty of this armour is that... 142 00:12:41,917 --> 00:12:43,417 even a person who doesn't know kung-fu, 143 00:12:43,625 --> 00:12:45,917 when he wears this, he will become a great kung fu master. 144 00:12:46,167 --> 00:12:48,417 No one can stop him. 145 00:12:48,625 --> 00:12:50,958 Let me try this on... 146 00:12:53,458 --> 00:12:55,375 How does it feel, Your Majesty? 147 00:12:55,583 --> 00:12:58,417 It looks great, but it's too heavy. 148 00:12:58,625 --> 00:13:01,042 I can hardly walk at all. How could I fight? 149 00:13:01,250 --> 00:13:04,875 Your Majesty, with this armour, you don't have to fight at all. 150 00:13:05,042 --> 00:13:08,167 What are you doing? Be respectful. 151 00:13:10,167 --> 00:13:12,167 Your Majesty, when you turn this spring, 152 00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:14,625 it will move on its own. 153 00:13:14,958 --> 00:13:16,208 How does it feel, Your Majesty? 154 00:13:16,375 --> 00:13:17,583 A bit itchy. 155 00:13:18,167 --> 00:13:20,917 Your Majesty, I will try harder. 156 00:13:24,083 --> 00:13:27,375 After wearing the helmet, you are ready to fight, Your Majesty. 157 00:13:29,375 --> 00:13:30,875 Let's go. 158 00:13:38,458 --> 00:13:40,833 That's fun... 159 00:13:49,125 --> 00:13:51,875 Royal Dog, what other functions does it have? 160 00:13:52,042 --> 00:13:54,875 Press the right button and Your Majesty can fly. 161 00:13:59,833 --> 00:14:01,750 Fly...that's awesome. 162 00:14:12,292 --> 00:14:13,875 It works. 163 00:14:14,958 --> 00:14:19,292 Fly... 164 00:14:19,583 --> 00:14:22,625 How does he come down? 165 00:14:22,833 --> 00:14:27,500 Royal Dog, I felt dizzy. How can I come down? 166 00:14:27,792 --> 00:14:29,750 Well, to descend from the sky... 167 00:14:29,917 --> 00:14:32,333 I haven't figured that out yet, Your Majesty. 168 00:14:32,542 --> 00:14:35,792 Never mind, I guess Your Majesty can bump against something and come down. 169 00:14:35,958 --> 00:14:38,875 You're dead, Royal Dog, as soon as I come down. 170 00:14:42,333 --> 00:14:43,875 Royal Dog is in big trouble this time. 171 00:14:44,083 --> 00:14:45,333 His Majesty is coming this way. 172 00:14:52,167 --> 00:14:53,250 What a narrow escape! 173 00:15:04,625 --> 00:15:06,250 Oh no... 174 00:15:10,792 --> 00:15:12,292 Oh my armour... 175 00:15:13,917 --> 00:15:15,792 Your Majesty, my brother is just self-indulgent. 176 00:15:15,958 --> 00:15:17,417 He doesn't mean to do you any harm. 177 00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:19,292 And my brother has always been a weakling. 178 00:15:19,542 --> 00:15:21,167 He will die if Your Majesty keeps hitting him like that. 179 00:15:21,417 --> 00:15:23,542 Please pardon him, Your Majesty. 180 00:15:23,792 --> 00:15:25,333 His butt hurts, right? 181 00:15:25,750 --> 00:15:27,042 Flip him over. 182 00:15:27,542 --> 00:15:30,625 The 500 taels of gold reward will be confiscated... 183 00:15:31,083 --> 00:15:33,708 and every one of you will be deducted 3 months' salary too. 184 00:15:51,542 --> 00:15:54,667 Am I seeing ghosts? 185 00:16:01,625 --> 00:16:03,625 Don't frighten me! 186 00:16:03,708 --> 00:16:05,292 I am here. 187 00:16:07,750 --> 00:16:08,750 I don't mind you coming to see me, 188 00:16:08,958 --> 00:16:12,875 but why show up in the middle of the night and scare the hell out of me? 189 00:16:13,542 --> 00:16:15,375 What are you doing, Faithfull? 190 00:16:15,625 --> 00:16:17,542 I come here to do your laundry. 191 00:16:20,125 --> 00:16:21,958 What laundry? 192 00:16:22,292 --> 00:16:26,625 You always let those punks do your laundry. 193 00:16:26,875 --> 00:16:28,458 How can they do it well? 194 00:16:28,625 --> 00:16:31,375 Although I am just your fiancee, 195 00:16:31,583 --> 00:16:33,333 I am willing to do your laundry. 196 00:16:33,625 --> 00:16:36,167 I have no objection to your doing my laundry, just... 197 00:16:36,375 --> 00:16:38,833 your parents oppose our marriage. 198 00:16:39,042 --> 00:16:40,500 If I marry you, 199 00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:42,875 they will bring me trouble. 200 00:16:43,083 --> 00:16:44,958 I am not scared though. 201 00:16:47,958 --> 00:16:49,125 What is this smell? 202 00:16:49,250 --> 00:16:51,292 Tell me, are you having affairs with other girls? 203 00:16:53,958 --> 00:16:56,375 There are maids in the palace. 204 00:16:56,583 --> 00:16:58,292 It's common for those maids to... 205 00:16:58,542 --> 00:17:02,333 put on make-up, right? 206 00:17:04,333 --> 00:17:07,042 I like you because your thinking... 207 00:17:07,292 --> 00:17:10,125 is different from others. You are smart. 208 00:17:10,375 --> 00:17:13,625 A few days ago, you beat the assassins with rockets, 209 00:17:13,875 --> 00:17:16,542 everyone in the market is talking about it. 210 00:17:17,500 --> 00:17:19,833 Faithfull, if you are done with the laundry, 211 00:17:20,042 --> 00:17:21,375 please go home. 212 00:17:21,625 --> 00:17:23,083 If your parents know you are here, 213 00:17:23,333 --> 00:17:25,292 they will rough me up. 214 00:17:25,542 --> 00:17:28,208 Don't be afraid, my kung-fu is better than them. 215 00:17:28,542 --> 00:17:29,625 I can protect you. 216 00:17:29,875 --> 00:17:30,625 Really? 217 00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:31,708 No way. 218 00:17:32,833 --> 00:17:33,917 See, a daughter will always put... 219 00:17:34,125 --> 00:17:37,333 her husband before her parents after she gets married. 220 00:17:37,583 --> 00:17:39,958 Auntie, uncle, this is my place. 221 00:17:40,250 --> 00:17:41,500 This is not your place. 222 00:17:41,750 --> 00:17:42,917 Will you please knock before barging in? 223 00:17:43,125 --> 00:17:44,375 We're used to barge in like this. Right. 224 00:17:44,625 --> 00:17:47,042 Otherwise how can I find you get naked and corrupt my daughter? 225 00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:49,083 How could you say that? 226 00:17:49,292 --> 00:17:51,958 It's your daughter who barged in while I was bathing. 227 00:17:52,250 --> 00:17:53,500 Are you saying that she saw you naked... 228 00:17:53,750 --> 00:17:55,792 and she got horny and tried to rape you? 229 00:17:56,042 --> 00:17:57,708 Exactly. 230 00:17:58,458 --> 00:18:00,500 Mom and dad, are you done? 231 00:18:00,708 --> 00:18:03,542 You are still young. I am worried that you'll be cheated. 232 00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:06,792 We are already engaged since birth. I don't mind being cheated. 233 00:18:06,958 --> 00:18:09,750 Baby, we won't force you to many him. 234 00:18:09,958 --> 00:18:11,500 But I want to marry him. 235 00:18:11,708 --> 00:18:14,042 People will say that we are too autocratic. 236 00:18:14,500 --> 00:18:16,417 Anyone who dares to say that, I will beat him up. 237 00:18:16,625 --> 00:18:18,125 The son of Master Yin is handsome. 238 00:18:18,333 --> 00:18:19,500 The son of General Hau is a nice fellow too. 239 00:18:19,708 --> 00:18:21,292 He's so damn rich. 240 00:18:21,500 --> 00:18:22,958 Look at him, he's as poor as a church mouse. 241 00:18:23,250 --> 00:18:25,625 He'll be a wretched fellow his whole life. 242 00:18:25,875 --> 00:18:28,042 Auntie, uncle, please mind your words. 243 00:18:28,250 --> 00:18:30,250 I say what I think. So what? 244 00:18:33,042 --> 00:18:34,792 Auntie, uncle, please don't force me to fight against you. 245 00:18:34,958 --> 00:18:35,792 Hak! 246 00:18:35,958 --> 00:18:37,875 I am gonna beat you up, you punk... 247 00:18:38,042 --> 00:18:38,917 Come on. 248 00:18:39,125 --> 00:18:40,500 Let me go. 249 00:18:41,125 --> 00:18:43,250 You good for nothing punk. We are here, how's that? 250 00:18:43,292 --> 00:18:44,750 Don't you dare stay here and not move. 251 00:18:44,958 --> 00:18:45,792 Okay, we won't move then. 252 00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:47,333 Whatever happens, you won't move. 253 00:18:47,625 --> 00:18:48,583 Of course. 254 00:18:48,917 --> 00:18:49,958 I won't move anyway. 255 00:18:50,375 --> 00:18:51,500 Just don't move then. 256 00:18:51,625 --> 00:18:53,917 Don't move! Let me tell you... Okay, how's that? 257 00:18:54,125 --> 00:18:54,750 Really? 258 00:18:54,958 --> 00:18:57,750 If you guys don't move, I can't do anything. 259 00:19:04,750 --> 00:19:05,625 What are you doing? 260 00:19:05,792 --> 00:19:07,250 Come and take a look... 261 00:19:07,792 --> 00:19:08,792 This one is wonderful. 262 00:19:08,958 --> 00:19:11,542 Do you know the air we breathe in are mostly useless gases, 263 00:19:11,750 --> 00:19:14,625 except one useful gas calls "oxygen". 264 00:19:14,833 --> 00:19:17,625 According to the Western scholars, 2 units of certain elements... 265 00:19:17,958 --> 00:19:20,250 together with 1 unit of this "oxygen" will combine into water. 266 00:19:20,458 --> 00:19:22,375 Smell it. 267 00:19:25,167 --> 00:19:27,250 Do you smell that? Isn't it refreshing... 268 00:19:27,625 --> 00:19:28,750 Smell again, you will feel great. 269 00:19:28,958 --> 00:19:31,292 Yes, it feels great. 270 00:19:31,500 --> 00:19:35,333 You don't have to hit me though. 271 00:19:35,542 --> 00:19:37,958 The most wonderful thing is that... 272 00:19:38,375 --> 00:19:39,792 it will make the fire burn brighter. 273 00:19:40,042 --> 00:19:42,375 I am still working on it. 274 00:19:45,958 --> 00:19:47,167 Honey 275 00:19:49,125 --> 00:19:52,333 We are not kids anymore, 276 00:19:52,583 --> 00:19:53,625 should we... 277 00:19:53,792 --> 00:19:55,500 Faithfull, if you want to say anything, 278 00:19:55,708 --> 00:19:57,208 please write it down and put it there. 279 00:19:57,458 --> 00:19:59,375 I will read it after the experiment. 280 00:20:02,208 --> 00:20:03,333 Afew days ago, a friend of mine, 281 00:20:03,583 --> 00:20:06,708 brought me some liquid which can clean our hairs. 282 00:20:06,958 --> 00:20:09,750 I just can't use it without... 283 00:20:09,958 --> 00:20:11,958 understanding what it consists of. Right? 284 00:20:12,208 --> 00:20:13,958 If someone uses it and his hairs become dry or... 285 00:20:14,333 --> 00:20:15,542 oily, or he gets dandruff... 286 00:20:15,833 --> 00:20:17,958 I would blame myself also. 287 00:20:18,208 --> 00:20:19,542 But my hairs look like this... 288 00:20:19,708 --> 00:20:21,208 after using this liquid. 289 00:20:21,542 --> 00:20:22,833 If you use this, 290 00:20:23,083 --> 00:20:24,708 your hairs will look like mine too. 291 00:20:58,167 --> 00:20:59,958 He is so late, it is already well past midday. 292 00:21:01,042 --> 00:21:02,458 Damn it! 293 00:21:06,125 --> 00:21:09,625 With my looks, I don't believe no one will fall for me. 294 00:21:12,083 --> 00:21:14,250 I am gonna dump him. 295 00:21:16,625 --> 00:21:18,292 Handsome guy! 296 00:21:19,167 --> 00:21:20,792 Wanna have lunch with me? 297 00:21:21,167 --> 00:21:23,458 It's so disgusting. Leave her alone. 298 00:21:23,792 --> 00:21:24,792 Let's go. 299 00:21:28,917 --> 00:21:31,875 You made me lose face, I am gonna kill you. 300 00:21:32,042 --> 00:21:33,250 I am so mad. 301 00:21:44,125 --> 00:21:45,708 Are you okay, miss? 302 00:21:46,625 --> 00:21:47,917 I am fine. 303 00:21:48,250 --> 00:21:49,625 Let's go! 304 00:21:53,250 --> 00:21:55,417 There's a handsome guy. 305 00:22:13,208 --> 00:22:18,292 Bro, what's wrong with that girl? 306 00:22:18,875 --> 00:22:19,833 Don't be nosy. 307 00:22:20,042 --> 00:22:21,625 -Waiter. -Yes. 308 00:22:21,833 --> 00:22:24,167 3 dishes and a soup, please hurry. 309 00:22:24,333 --> 00:22:28,500 Alright, how about deep fried spareribs, braised chicken, 310 00:22:28,792 --> 00:22:31,875 boneless fish and soup of the day. 311 00:22:31,917 --> 00:22:33,042 What do you think? 312 00:22:34,542 --> 00:22:37,625 As the dishes are ready, let's eat then. 313 00:22:48,208 --> 00:22:49,333 Fight! 314 00:23:00,917 --> 00:23:04,125 Great move! 315 00:23:10,375 --> 00:23:11,458 Okay! 316 00:23:32,125 --> 00:23:33,375 Stop that. 317 00:23:34,292 --> 00:23:37,458 You scums, you couldn't even beat two punks . 318 00:23:37,750 --> 00:23:39,792 No meals for you guys today. 319 00:23:40,458 --> 00:23:42,708 Are you the children of Mr. Yuen? 320 00:23:42,875 --> 00:23:46,458 Every one is Mr. Yuen's child. He loved the people like his own children. 321 00:23:47,750 --> 00:23:50,083 Young people are stubborn. 322 00:24:03,083 --> 00:24:04,708 This eunuch is a superb kung-fu master. 323 00:24:04,917 --> 00:24:07,167 They are not his equal, they will be dead for sure. 324 00:24:58,458 --> 00:24:59,583 Wonderful! 325 00:25:19,875 --> 00:25:23,333 Let's meet up tomorrow lunch. 326 00:25:27,250 --> 00:25:28,875 What an awesome poison. 327 00:25:29,583 --> 00:25:32,250 I have to drive the poison out for him. 328 00:25:35,167 --> 00:25:36,917 But unmarried men and women must not touch each other. 329 00:25:37,125 --> 00:25:40,208 If I take off his clothes, I will be looked upon as a slut... 330 00:25:40,958 --> 00:25:45,042 Let me pass my "life-force" to him through the mouth. 331 00:25:48,083 --> 00:25:50,042 Am I out of my mind? 332 00:25:50,333 --> 00:25:51,958 I am still a virgin. 333 00:25:52,125 --> 00:25:54,875 If I kiss his mouth, then I will have to marry him. 334 00:25:59,833 --> 00:26:03,542 But he is so handsome. Marrying him is not a bad idea. 335 00:26:03,708 --> 00:26:06,167 Alright, then! 336 00:26:11,125 --> 00:26:13,417 No way! 337 00:26:18,708 --> 00:26:22,792 How come he looks so handsome, but his chest is... 338 00:26:23,292 --> 00:26:24,625 So soft? 339 00:26:26,542 --> 00:26:28,208 He's a girl? 340 00:26:29,625 --> 00:26:31,958 It'll be great if he's a guy. 341 00:26:32,417 --> 00:26:34,458 I will have to heal her. 342 00:26:35,417 --> 00:26:37,958 Honey, you are back? 343 00:26:38,583 --> 00:26:40,292 I am back. 344 00:26:42,292 --> 00:26:44,833 I am so exhausted. I need to sleep. 345 00:26:45,917 --> 00:26:48,167 We are going to sleep too. 346 00:26:51,042 --> 00:26:53,833 Mom and dad, I am getting changed. 347 00:26:54,042 --> 00:26:55,583 Did you hide a guy on your bed? 348 00:26:55,792 --> 00:26:57,042 Of course not. 349 00:26:58,083 --> 00:26:59,792 Show it to me. 350 00:26:59,958 --> 00:27:01,750 Who dares to get on my bed? 351 00:27:02,042 --> 00:27:03,208 Is it that punk? 352 00:27:03,417 --> 00:27:04,167 Royal Dog? 353 00:27:04,792 --> 00:27:06,375 I have dumped him a long time ago. 354 00:27:06,542 --> 00:27:07,708 That's good. 355 00:27:08,458 --> 00:27:10,250 I'd like to sleep with you tonight. 356 00:27:10,417 --> 00:27:12,042 Mom, you are getting REAL fat lately. 357 00:27:12,208 --> 00:27:14,333 We can't sleep in this bed together. 358 00:27:15,167 --> 00:27:16,625 That punk must be on the bed. 359 00:27:16,833 --> 00:27:17,292 No. 360 00:27:17,500 --> 00:27:18,167 -Yes. -No. 361 00:27:18,292 --> 00:27:19,125 -Yes. -No. 362 00:27:19,333 --> 00:27:20,750 I swear that if he's here, I will put on 10 catty each day. 363 00:27:20,917 --> 00:27:22,250 But if he's not here, you will get 10 years older each day. 364 00:27:22,417 --> 00:27:23,625 If he's here, you'll have to listen to me. 365 00:27:23,833 --> 00:27:25,625 If he's not here, you'll have to listen to me too. 366 00:27:25,833 --> 00:27:28,625 That's the deal. That's the deal. 367 00:27:28,833 --> 00:27:30,167 Auntie, uncle. 368 00:27:32,917 --> 00:27:34,167 Why are you here? 369 00:27:34,958 --> 00:27:38,708 Mom, you have to listen to me from now on. 370 00:27:40,542 --> 00:27:41,958 I come to apologize to Faithfull. 371 00:27:42,250 --> 00:27:44,417 She won't forgive you. 372 00:27:44,625 --> 00:27:47,042 Even if she does, I won't forgive you anyway. 373 00:27:47,625 --> 00:27:49,625 Uncle, I am a straight talking guy. 374 00:27:49,833 --> 00:27:51,417 Please forgive me, 375 00:27:51,625 --> 00:27:52,958 if I say something to offend you. 376 00:27:53,167 --> 00:27:55,708 I can do that. I will not easily get upset. 377 00:27:55,917 --> 00:27:58,625 Uncle, you are so mean and nasty. 378 00:27:58,875 --> 00:28:00,917 I don't care if you don't forgive me. 379 00:28:01,208 --> 00:28:04,042 Faithfull is so nice to me, I don't want to upset her. 380 00:28:04,958 --> 00:28:06,250 What do you want? 381 00:28:19,042 --> 00:28:22,792 Thanks for saving me. Why did you laugh with tears flowing down your face? 382 00:28:22,958 --> 00:28:25,792 My fiance is confessing his love, keep quiet. 383 00:28:25,958 --> 00:28:28,250 Uncle, didn't you say you will not easily get upset? 384 00:28:28,542 --> 00:28:29,792 I am not upset... 385 00:28:30,125 --> 00:28:32,208 I am very very upset. 386 00:28:33,625 --> 00:28:35,625 Miss, will you do me a favour? 387 00:28:36,750 --> 00:28:39,792 Uncle, will you please stop hitting me? 388 00:28:40,083 --> 00:28:41,375 I have a gift for you. 389 00:28:44,875 --> 00:28:46,625 What gift? What is it? 390 00:28:46,875 --> 00:28:47,583 With this, 391 00:28:47,792 --> 00:28:50,167 you don't have to squat in the toilet anymore. 392 00:28:50,417 --> 00:28:52,500 I can lead the water from the mountain to here. 393 00:28:52,750 --> 00:28:54,917 And flush away the excrements. 394 00:28:55,167 --> 00:28:58,208 Going to the toilet will henceforth be an enjoyment. 395 00:28:58,792 --> 00:28:59,542 How do you call this? 396 00:28:59,708 --> 00:29:00,875 Dragon and Phoenix bucket. 397 00:29:01,042 --> 00:29:01,917 Sounds weird. 398 00:29:02,125 --> 00:29:03,542 Then what will you call it? 399 00:29:03,750 --> 00:29:05,292 Hero bucket. Beauty bucket. 400 00:29:05,625 --> 00:29:07,792 It's your invention, just call it Dog bucket. 401 00:29:08,208 --> 00:29:09,458 How about Shit bucket? 402 00:29:09,625 --> 00:29:11,958 You should use a better name. 403 00:29:12,167 --> 00:29:13,417 Just call it commode. 404 00:29:13,625 --> 00:29:15,792 You are great, just call it commode. 405 00:29:16,042 --> 00:29:18,542 -Yeah. -Right. 406 00:29:20,833 --> 00:29:23,958 How do you do, auntie and uncle? 407 00:29:24,542 --> 00:29:25,750 Who are you? 408 00:29:26,042 --> 00:29:27,958 He's my man. 409 00:29:28,375 --> 00:29:30,500 Honey, do you fool around? 410 00:29:30,833 --> 00:29:34,417 He the prince of Big-Eaters-land, his name is Brad Pitt. 411 00:29:35,042 --> 00:29:37,042 What? 412 00:29:37,958 --> 00:29:40,958 I fall in love with your daughter at first sight. 413 00:29:41,167 --> 00:29:43,917 I beg uncle and auntie to concur with our marriage. 414 00:29:46,583 --> 00:29:48,708 Prince. 415 00:29:49,167 --> 00:29:51,042 Faithful I . 416 00:29:51,500 --> 00:29:52,958 You... 417 00:29:53,292 --> 00:29:54,625 I have other suitors. 418 00:29:54,792 --> 00:29:57,417 Even if you don't want me, I can marry someone else. 419 00:29:58,417 --> 00:30:00,125 That's right. 420 00:30:01,125 --> 00:30:04,708 Your Highness, please treat her... 421 00:30:04,958 --> 00:30:06,750 well. 422 00:30:07,250 --> 00:30:08,625 He's cute. 423 00:30:08,792 --> 00:30:10,833 Don't you mind hurting him so much? 424 00:30:11,042 --> 00:30:13,542 Oh please, of course I mind. it hurts like hell. 425 00:30:13,750 --> 00:30:14,958 But if I don't hurt him, he won't appreciate how much I love him. 426 00:30:15,292 --> 00:30:16,958 He will think that I am going to stay with him forever. 427 00:30:19,167 --> 00:30:21,042 I'd better run. 428 00:30:23,833 --> 00:30:27,167 I do wish to beat him up, but I can't. 429 00:30:27,292 --> 00:30:29,625 A gentleman must control his emotions. 430 00:30:29,833 --> 00:30:33,208 I must not cry, I should smile... 431 00:30:35,542 --> 00:30:38,333 Hey, Royal Dog, you'd better watch out. 432 00:30:38,542 --> 00:30:41,417 Be careful, or you will fall off the mountain. 433 00:30:42,917 --> 00:30:43,917 Don't worry. 434 00:30:44,167 --> 00:30:46,583 I am so damn unlucky that even misfortunes will stay away from me. 435 00:30:46,750 --> 00:30:47,833 Thanks. 436 00:30:53,417 --> 00:30:55,333 That's pathetic. 437 00:30:57,292 --> 00:30:59,458 You look awful. 438 00:30:59,625 --> 00:31:02,208 You are not a man, why should I care? 439 00:31:02,417 --> 00:31:04,167 Go home and sleep. 440 00:31:08,042 --> 00:31:09,042 That's pathetic... 441 00:31:09,250 --> 00:31:11,875 Brother, if people see you cry like a baby... That's pathetic... 442 00:31:12,208 --> 00:31:13,875 they won't respect us Royal Secret Guards. 443 00:31:14,625 --> 00:31:15,875 I am deeply hurt, so I cried like a baby. 444 00:31:16,083 --> 00:31:19,417 We are the idols for many palace maids. 445 00:31:19,625 --> 00:31:23,208 Every move of ours can drive them crazy. 446 00:31:23,417 --> 00:31:24,500 Really? 447 00:31:24,750 --> 00:31:26,875 You don't believe me? Come on, bro. 448 00:31:41,625 --> 00:31:42,958 Come on 449 00:32:06,958 --> 00:32:08,125 That's a bit over the top. 450 00:32:08,375 --> 00:32:10,125 This is bad taste. 451 00:32:10,333 --> 00:32:11,625 Come on! 452 00:32:11,792 --> 00:32:14,167 Bro, you cried because you're heart-broken. 453 00:32:14,375 --> 00:32:15,750 We will lose face for that. 454 00:32:15,958 --> 00:32:18,375 As Royal Secret Guards , besides protecting the emperor, 455 00:32:18,625 --> 00:32:20,792 we have to keep the world in peace and the universe in unison. 456 00:32:21,042 --> 00:32:22,125 Even if a monster from outer space falls down from the sky, 457 00:32:22,375 --> 00:32:24,333 we will fix that, too. 458 00:32:25,125 --> 00:32:27,292 You look like a monster now. 459 00:32:27,500 --> 00:32:28,542 I can take that. 460 00:32:28,917 --> 00:32:29,917 Let us be frank, 461 00:32:30,208 --> 00:32:32,042 we are just security guards in the palace. 462 00:32:32,250 --> 00:32:35,125 Royal Secret Guards my foot... Bro, security guards are guards too. 463 00:32:35,375 --> 00:32:37,167 I guess you are suffering from an inferiority complex 464 00:32:37,458 --> 00:32:38,458 Go to see the imperial doctor. 465 00:32:38,583 --> 00:32:40,500 The imperial doctor won't give a damn about us. 466 00:32:40,708 --> 00:32:42,583 Just go have a herbal drink. It will also cure you. 467 00:32:42,875 --> 00:32:43,792 Go... 468 00:32:43,958 --> 00:32:45,875 I better go home and take a bath. 469 00:32:47,750 --> 00:32:49,708 Assassin! Fetch our buddies, go! 470 00:32:52,167 --> 00:32:54,917 There... 471 00:32:58,042 --> 00:32:59,792 Your Highness, I am Royal Tiger. 472 00:32:59,958 --> 00:33:02,167 It's okay, it's the Royal Secret Guards. 473 00:33:22,042 --> 00:33:23,292 Enjoy watching it? 474 00:33:24,500 --> 00:33:26,167 Of course. 475 00:33:26,750 --> 00:33:29,458 So gorgeous; so charming... 476 00:33:29,625 --> 00:33:31,458 So beautiful; so bewitching... 477 00:33:31,750 --> 00:33:34,250 No words can truly describe the beauty of Your Highness. 478 00:33:37,333 --> 00:33:41,750 No wonder mom told me that all men are liars. 479 00:33:42,250 --> 00:33:43,333 Please forgive me Your Highness. 480 00:33:43,500 --> 00:33:46,583 I am not being frivolous. 481 00:33:47,083 --> 00:33:50,125 Your Highness, I see someone enter the palace. 482 00:33:50,500 --> 00:33:51,875 This place is not safe. 483 00:33:52,083 --> 00:33:54,708 Your Highness, please go back to your chamber. 484 00:33:54,917 --> 00:33:57,917 You are the best of the Royal Secret Guards. 485 00:33:58,375 --> 00:34:01,625 I should be safe with you around, right? 486 00:34:01,833 --> 00:34:04,500 I will give up my life to protect Your Highness. 487 00:34:05,167 --> 00:34:06,500 It's okay! 488 00:34:08,542 --> 00:34:10,792 Get up, stay and have a chat with me. 489 00:34:22,167 --> 00:34:25,250 I never expect that... 490 00:34:25,458 --> 00:34:27,500 Your Majesty's daughter, Princess Rainbow, is so popular. 491 00:34:28,292 --> 00:34:30,750 Because she looks like me. 492 00:34:30,958 --> 00:34:34,750 The problem is that the four princes come at the same time. 493 00:34:34,958 --> 00:34:37,333 Whom should we let her marry? 494 00:34:37,833 --> 00:34:40,333 Who are they? 495 00:34:40,542 --> 00:34:42,042 Prince Nectar from Sindhu. 496 00:34:42,250 --> 00:34:43,458 Prince Falcon from Tazik. 497 00:34:43,750 --> 00:34:45,708 Prince Smart from lzumo. 498 00:34:45,875 --> 00:34:49,125 And Tokugawa Takuya, the younger son of General Tokugawa from Japan. 499 00:34:49,375 --> 00:34:52,125 Your Majesty, the situation is very delicate. 500 00:34:52,458 --> 00:34:55,958 We must not endanger the good relationship we have with these countries. 501 00:34:56,125 --> 00:34:58,500 I think so. 502 00:34:58,833 --> 00:35:02,750 That is why I come to discuss it with you two. 503 00:35:03,583 --> 00:35:05,750 I do have an idea. 504 00:35:05,958 --> 00:35:10,375 Let's hold a competition to decide who will marry Princess Rainbow. 505 00:35:11,333 --> 00:35:15,750 They must compete with each other. 506 00:35:16,583 --> 00:35:20,792 The winner will be our son-in-law. 507 00:35:21,042 --> 00:35:22,542 That's a good idea. 508 00:35:22,750 --> 00:35:24,958 Your Majesty, give me a million taels of gold to buy new clothes. 509 00:35:25,250 --> 00:35:26,750 You had already bought a lot of new clothes yesterday. 510 00:35:26,958 --> 00:35:29,250 Your Majesty, the idea is good. 511 00:35:29,458 --> 00:35:33,083 But the one who comes last... 512 00:35:33,333 --> 00:35:35,958 would feel humiliated. 513 00:35:36,250 --> 00:35:38,375 So I suggest we also send two of our men to enter the competition. 514 00:35:38,625 --> 00:35:41,792 But they must come last, so that the princes will not be humiliated. 515 00:35:42,042 --> 00:35:43,458 Yeah...that's a good idea. 516 00:35:43,750 --> 00:35:44,917 That's a better idea than buying new clothes. 517 00:35:45,333 --> 00:35:47,750 What should we call the competition? 518 00:35:47,958 --> 00:35:52,083 How about "Princes Got Talent"? 519 00:35:52,292 --> 00:35:53,708 No, that is not good. 520 00:35:53,875 --> 00:35:56,958 How about "The Idol Prince"? 521 00:35:59,875 --> 00:36:01,500 "Princes Got Talent" is a good name. 522 00:36:01,625 --> 00:36:02,708 "The Idol Prince" is better. 523 00:36:02,958 --> 00:36:03,875 "Princes Got Talent" is the best. 524 00:36:04,042 --> 00:36:05,125 "The Idol Prince" is better than the best. 525 00:36:05,750 --> 00:36:08,250 Why do you have to go against me all the time? 526 00:36:08,458 --> 00:36:10,625 Let's call it the Perfect Husband of Princess Rainbow Competition! 527 00:36:12,458 --> 00:36:15,292 Perfect Husband of Princess Rainbow? 528 00:36:15,500 --> 00:36:16,542 Great! 529 00:36:19,917 --> 00:36:24,625 Buy new clothes, I need to buy new clothes... 530 00:36:24,875 --> 00:36:26,417 If I don't kill him now, I won't have another chance. 531 00:36:30,958 --> 00:36:31,958 Looks like an assassin. 532 00:36:32,167 --> 00:36:32,917 Your Majesty, I need to go to the toilet... 533 00:36:33,125 --> 00:36:34,375 Your Majesty, he's gone. 534 00:36:37,583 --> 00:36:40,250 Protect the emperor! 535 00:37:03,833 --> 00:37:05,375 This assassin is a good fighter. 536 00:37:05,542 --> 00:37:07,083 I think lp Man is a better fighter. 537 00:37:07,875 --> 00:37:08,958 Who is lp Man? 538 00:37:14,375 --> 00:37:18,958 I let you off yesterday, now you come again? 539 00:37:56,417 --> 00:37:57,625 Heart-protecting armour? 540 00:38:12,250 --> 00:38:16,750 Ducky...l am pathetic. 541 00:38:19,833 --> 00:38:22,875 Iron the clothes, then take a shower. 542 00:38:23,042 --> 00:38:25,625 Then have a cup of herbal tea. 543 00:38:43,625 --> 00:38:45,500 He's got a great body. 544 00:38:45,625 --> 00:38:47,292 What am I thinking? 545 00:38:48,542 --> 00:38:52,250 That assassin flew high and fast. 546 00:38:52,458 --> 00:38:53,958 His kung-fu must be very good... 547 00:38:54,292 --> 00:38:55,583 I have nothing to do with. 548 00:38:55,958 --> 00:38:57,125 -You! Dead mouse... -What? 549 00:38:57,417 --> 00:38:59,125 Where's Spring? 550 00:38:59,333 --> 00:39:01,625 Where's Spring? 551 00:39:01,833 --> 00:39:04,417 Spring is here. 552 00:39:06,417 --> 00:39:07,542 Bro. 553 00:39:08,625 --> 00:39:12,083 You just told me to catch the assassin. 554 00:39:12,333 --> 00:39:14,333 Why did you become so... 555 00:39:15,417 --> 00:39:17,042 flirtatious all of a sudden? 556 00:39:19,083 --> 00:39:20,333 He has fallen in love. 557 00:39:20,542 --> 00:39:21,833 Are you sure? 558 00:39:22,750 --> 00:39:24,333 This is how he feels to be in love? 559 00:39:24,542 --> 00:39:25,917 Of course, take a look. 560 00:39:26,083 --> 00:39:27,708 If a person does or says revolting things... 561 00:39:27,917 --> 00:39:29,583 but does not feel embarrassed at all, 562 00:39:29,917 --> 00:39:31,583 then he or she is in love. 563 00:39:33,708 --> 00:39:35,958 He's changing too fast though. 564 00:39:39,208 --> 00:39:42,542 Lord Unicorn, it is our honour to welcome Your Honour here. 565 00:39:42,875 --> 00:39:44,167 Anything I can help? 566 00:39:44,333 --> 00:39:46,125 Catch the assassin. 567 00:39:48,917 --> 00:39:51,708 As Royal Secret Guards, our mission is to fall in love, no... 568 00:39:51,875 --> 00:39:53,083 to woo the princess...no... 569 00:39:53,333 --> 00:39:55,333 to protect the emperor against His Majesty's enemies. 570 00:39:55,708 --> 00:39:57,708 Now Your Honour came here to catch the assassin, 571 00:39:57,875 --> 00:40:00,250 are you accusing us of sheltering the assassin? 572 00:40:00,792 --> 00:40:05,083 It's hard to say. This is a strange world. 573 00:40:05,500 --> 00:40:08,708 I think it is much ado about nothing. 574 00:40:09,375 --> 00:40:12,792 Yes, so what? 575 00:40:12,958 --> 00:40:15,083 Calm down, we are all on the same side. 576 00:40:15,292 --> 00:40:16,500 Hold it, who says you're on my side? 577 00:40:16,708 --> 00:40:18,500 He used to talk in this manner. 578 00:40:18,958 --> 00:40:20,583 -He is a sissy. -You pig! 579 00:40:22,875 --> 00:40:25,833 The Icy Palm martial art is nothing special. 580 00:40:27,208 --> 00:40:29,125 Just a bit chilly. 581 00:40:59,417 --> 00:41:01,208 Yeah, you don't have. 582 00:41:32,375 --> 00:41:34,042 Bro, watch out! 583 00:41:34,250 --> 00:41:35,583 Who is fighting out there? 584 00:41:52,500 --> 00:41:53,625 Close the door. 585 00:41:57,625 --> 00:41:58,500 Close the windows. 586 00:42:00,458 --> 00:42:01,792 Turn off the light. 587 00:42:03,375 --> 00:42:04,292 Let the dogs out. 588 00:42:04,500 --> 00:42:05,917 Why not let me out? 589 00:42:11,583 --> 00:42:14,083 How come I can hear two persons' heartbeats? 590 00:42:35,625 --> 00:42:38,750 The juice of firefly--- even the blind could see that. 591 00:42:38,958 --> 00:42:41,958 You coward, where are you? 592 00:42:42,583 --> 00:42:44,125 There is no one here. 593 00:42:44,375 --> 00:42:46,125 You coward. 594 00:42:51,333 --> 00:42:52,958 You can't beat me. 595 00:42:54,542 --> 00:42:57,750 The mighty stick that can beat the hell out of you. 596 00:43:00,500 --> 00:43:02,292 Attack me behind my back? 597 00:43:08,083 --> 00:43:11,750 Self-ventilating impenetrable armor. 598 00:43:14,208 --> 00:43:16,208 My hand... 599 00:43:21,375 --> 00:43:22,792 Again? 600 00:43:25,958 --> 00:43:27,375 So big? 601 00:43:27,542 --> 00:43:30,333 I will gonna kill you. 602 00:43:35,250 --> 00:43:36,625 The Fire Kick. 603 00:43:45,875 --> 00:43:48,792 BBQ Pork Hock. 604 00:43:51,750 --> 00:43:54,083 It's done, that's it. 605 00:43:55,750 --> 00:43:57,167 Bro. 606 00:43:57,458 --> 00:43:59,083 I have got nothing to do with this. 607 00:43:59,875 --> 00:44:01,125 It is your new invention? 608 00:44:01,250 --> 00:44:02,750 Obviously. 609 00:44:03,417 --> 00:44:05,125 I am relieved that you are fine. 610 00:44:05,625 --> 00:44:07,750 Don't worry, I already chased him away. 611 00:44:07,917 --> 00:44:08,875 Why are you so cool? 612 00:44:09,083 --> 00:44:11,958 No, I am not cool. I am just knowledgeable about science. 613 00:44:12,875 --> 00:44:14,542 Alright, how long are you going to hug me like this? 614 00:44:14,750 --> 00:44:16,792 Don't move now. 615 00:44:16,958 --> 00:44:17,750 Bro... 616 00:44:17,917 --> 00:44:19,958 Thank you for kicking that old wizard out. 617 00:44:20,125 --> 00:44:22,125 Otherwise, we Royal Secret Guards will lose face. 618 00:44:22,333 --> 00:44:24,708 I am afraid that he will accuse us of sheltering the assassin. 619 00:44:25,375 --> 00:44:27,708 No, he won't. 620 00:44:27,875 --> 00:44:29,750 He will be ashamed if everybody knows what happens tonight. 621 00:44:29,958 --> 00:44:30,708 Right! 622 00:44:30,875 --> 00:44:31,875 Assassin! 623 00:44:32,167 --> 00:44:33,333 No... 624 00:44:33,583 --> 00:44:35,542 Brad? 625 00:44:36,292 --> 00:44:37,750 Why are you coming out from there? 626 00:44:37,917 --> 00:44:39,500 I come here to watch you... 627 00:44:39,750 --> 00:44:40,875 No, I... 628 00:44:41,125 --> 00:44:42,375 I come to see you. 629 00:44:42,583 --> 00:44:43,750 Who is he? 630 00:44:49,958 --> 00:44:52,208 He's the man Faithfull loves. 631 00:44:52,708 --> 00:44:54,708 He's called Brad. 632 00:44:54,875 --> 00:44:56,208 You are the guy... 633 00:44:58,875 --> 00:45:02,375 Royal Dog, although I want Faithfull to love me more, 634 00:45:02,708 --> 00:45:04,958 I know now that you also love her deeply. 635 00:45:05,208 --> 00:45:07,375 So we can have a fair duel and see who wins her heart. 636 00:45:07,583 --> 00:45:09,542 You want to fight, punk? 637 00:45:11,250 --> 00:45:12,708 No violence. 638 00:45:14,125 --> 00:45:17,833 Okay, I accept your challenge. 639 00:45:31,583 --> 00:45:33,125 Who are you? 640 00:45:33,375 --> 00:45:34,875 I am your substitute. 641 00:45:42,458 --> 00:45:43,542 Who are you? 642 00:45:46,458 --> 00:45:49,083 I will use your identity to kill the Chinese emperor. 643 00:45:49,250 --> 00:45:51,458 I will avenge the death of my buddies. 644 00:45:52,458 --> 00:45:56,167 Sister, this is our chance of staging a coup d'etat. 645 00:45:56,333 --> 00:45:58,833 Why should we stage a coup d'etat? 646 00:45:59,083 --> 00:46:00,333 -Haven't you got money? -I have a lot. 647 00:46:00,542 --> 00:46:02,167 -Have you no woman? -Wave dozens. 648 00:46:02,333 --> 00:46:04,583 The emperor doesn't have a single penny in his pocket. 649 00:46:04,750 --> 00:46:05,875 And I am the only woman he has. 650 00:46:06,083 --> 00:46:07,833 He's bullied by me everyday. 651 00:46:10,708 --> 00:46:12,500 I think he's pathetic. 652 00:46:12,708 --> 00:46:14,250 Why do you want to take his place? 653 00:46:14,458 --> 00:46:15,542 Well, what else can I do now, 654 00:46:15,750 --> 00:46:17,708 other than staging a coup d'etat and be emperor myself? 655 00:46:17,917 --> 00:46:18,583 Leopard. 656 00:46:18,750 --> 00:46:19,583 Your Highness. 657 00:46:19,833 --> 00:46:21,833 Kill Prince Nectar, 658 00:46:22,167 --> 00:46:24,750 and also the emperor and Lord Unicorn. 659 00:46:25,083 --> 00:46:26,625 Then we will have absolute power. 660 00:46:26,833 --> 00:46:28,042 What about me? 661 00:46:28,208 --> 00:46:32,500 I will give you the title The Supreme Beauty of the Kingdom. 662 00:46:34,167 --> 00:46:36,833 I love the new title. 663 00:46:37,042 --> 00:46:39,250 Let's overthrow the emperor then. 664 00:46:39,625 --> 00:46:43,792 Ha...OK... 665 00:46:46,792 --> 00:46:48,708 Royal Secret Guards, order! 666 00:46:49,208 --> 00:46:52,125 Today, four princes will arrive at the Imperial City to participate in the competition. 667 00:46:52,375 --> 00:46:55,042 To maintain good relationship with our neighboring countries, 668 00:46:55,208 --> 00:46:57,708 We need to pick two men to enter the competition too. 669 00:46:57,917 --> 00:47:00,125 One MUST win, 670 00:47:00,333 --> 00:47:03,750 and the other MUST come last. 671 00:47:04,417 --> 00:47:07,208 Your Majesty, this is a difficult and dangerous mission. 672 00:47:07,417 --> 00:47:10,458 It needs to be handled well. 673 00:47:10,625 --> 00:47:13,042 With your permission, I will take this mission... 674 00:47:13,375 --> 00:47:14,625 for my fellow guards. 675 00:47:15,500 --> 00:47:17,458 Royal Rat, you are a loyal servant. 676 00:47:17,833 --> 00:47:18,583 You will join the competition. 677 00:47:18,958 --> 00:47:19,917 Thanks, Your Majesty. 678 00:47:20,083 --> 00:47:21,458 Just pick the worst Guard to be the one... 679 00:47:21,625 --> 00:47:23,708 who must lose the competition. 680 00:47:24,167 --> 00:47:25,375 Him! 681 00:47:25,583 --> 00:47:27,250 Him? 682 00:47:27,583 --> 00:47:28,500 Your Majesty, 683 00:47:28,708 --> 00:47:30,583 in such an important competition, we need to have a substitute ready... 684 00:47:30,792 --> 00:47:33,042 in case accidents happen. 685 00:47:34,208 --> 00:47:35,708 Alright, just pick someone... 686 00:47:35,917 --> 00:47:37,125 to be the substitute. 687 00:47:37,458 --> 00:47:38,583 Who wants to volunteer? 688 00:47:40,750 --> 00:47:42,750 Thanks, bro. 689 00:47:42,958 --> 00:47:44,417 Thanks, Your Majesty. 690 00:47:44,583 --> 00:47:46,042 What? 691 00:47:50,542 --> 00:47:51,625 I am just the substitute. 692 00:47:51,833 --> 00:47:54,792 If nobody gets injured or sick, I won't have to enter the competition. 693 00:47:58,625 --> 00:48:00,167 Didn't I roll fast? 694 00:48:00,375 --> 00:48:01,500 Kids, don't imitate what I have done. 695 00:48:01,750 --> 00:48:04,167 I can do this because I have been trained. 696 00:48:04,458 --> 00:48:05,958 He must be in great pain. 697 00:48:06,458 --> 00:48:07,583 Stop bugging me, okay? 698 00:48:07,750 --> 00:48:09,167 Alright. 699 00:48:10,833 --> 00:48:12,917 I can't run, I am crippled. 700 00:48:13,167 --> 00:48:15,292 Royal Dog, let me warn you. 701 00:48:15,542 --> 00:48:17,083 You are supposed to lose in the competition. 702 00:48:17,333 --> 00:48:20,958 You have to stay in the competition to the end no matter what happens. 703 00:48:30,583 --> 00:48:33,458 I can't move, I am crippled! 704 00:48:34,208 --> 00:48:36,250 Can he roll like that again? 705 00:48:37,375 --> 00:48:38,625 Attack me behind my back... 706 00:48:38,875 --> 00:48:41,875 I won't let you get away with this. 707 00:48:44,083 --> 00:48:46,042 Rainbow. 708 00:48:46,208 --> 00:48:48,625 Are you having wet dreams even in day time? 709 00:48:50,250 --> 00:48:53,917 Get through the door, and there's another door. 710 00:48:54,167 --> 00:48:54,792 Are you dreaming? 711 00:48:54,958 --> 00:48:56,333 How do you know? 712 00:48:57,833 --> 00:48:58,958 Rainbow? 713 00:49:00,417 --> 00:49:01,792 Your Highness. 714 00:49:02,167 --> 00:49:04,042 Get up. 715 00:49:05,458 --> 00:49:06,833 What are you guys looking at? 716 00:49:07,042 --> 00:49:07,750 Your room. 717 00:49:07,958 --> 00:49:09,292 No. 718 00:49:09,542 --> 00:49:12,292 We are working out how to protect His Majesty. 719 00:49:15,292 --> 00:49:18,083 I heard that the four princes are staying at the hotel outside the Forbidden City, right? 720 00:49:18,250 --> 00:49:18,875 Yes. 721 00:49:19,042 --> 00:49:22,750 Royal Dog and I will go and meet them at the hotel. 722 00:49:23,375 --> 00:49:24,542 I want to go too. 723 00:49:24,750 --> 00:49:26,833 I'd like to know what they look like. 724 00:49:27,042 --> 00:49:29,583 Your Highness, you can't 725 00:49:30,625 --> 00:49:32,167 meet those princes... 726 00:49:32,500 --> 00:49:33,542 in private... 727 00:49:33,708 --> 00:49:36,625 Your Highness has to get permission from His Majesty. 728 00:49:37,583 --> 00:49:40,500 I won't ask you if I have to ask for His Majesty's permission. 729 00:49:40,708 --> 00:49:42,042 Over here... 730 00:49:42,417 --> 00:49:45,167 I will get changed and go out with you guys. 731 00:49:45,333 --> 00:49:46,875 How's that? 732 00:49:47,417 --> 00:49:51,542 The palace guards will recognize us. 733 00:49:51,833 --> 00:49:54,250 It's not going to work. 734 00:49:57,750 --> 00:49:59,458 I thought you like me. 735 00:49:59,750 --> 00:50:02,625 Now I know you're not. 736 00:50:03,917 --> 00:50:05,167 Of course I like you... 737 00:50:05,417 --> 00:50:06,708 I... 738 00:50:09,042 --> 00:50:11,125 I send you flowers. 739 00:50:12,375 --> 00:50:14,542 Then you should think of a way to get me there. 740 00:50:21,167 --> 00:50:21,875 You... 741 00:50:22,083 --> 00:50:23,333 take off your clothes. 742 00:50:29,708 --> 00:50:31,958 Will they believe it or not? 743 00:50:50,167 --> 00:50:51,333 Who are they? 744 00:50:51,583 --> 00:50:53,750 Those foreign princes are having a fight. 745 00:50:55,167 --> 00:50:57,333 They are all very ugly. 746 00:50:57,542 --> 00:51:01,333 Look, one of them almost loses all his hairs. 747 00:51:01,875 --> 00:51:03,500 That's lousy. 748 00:51:08,458 --> 00:51:11,583 They are so ugly, I don't want to marry any one of them. 749 00:51:12,208 --> 00:51:14,625 Why are there only three princes? 750 00:51:14,833 --> 00:51:16,208 Where is the other one? 751 00:51:21,208 --> 00:51:23,125 Brad? 752 00:51:23,542 --> 00:51:25,125 He is so handsome. 753 00:51:27,083 --> 00:51:28,458 Hold me. 754 00:51:38,250 --> 00:51:40,333 He is so graceful. 755 00:51:48,958 --> 00:51:50,708 How dare you, Brad? 756 00:51:50,875 --> 00:51:52,333 Faithfull loves you so much. 757 00:51:52,625 --> 00:51:53,958 How can you want to marry the princess? 758 00:51:54,167 --> 00:51:55,875 Faithfull will be heart-broken. 759 00:51:56,083 --> 00:51:58,167 A man should sow his seeds when he is young. 760 00:51:58,333 --> 00:52:00,458 Besides, it's an order from my father. 761 00:52:00,708 --> 00:52:02,583 I can't disobey my father. 762 00:52:03,042 --> 00:52:05,333 I forgot to tell you, 763 00:52:05,542 --> 00:52:06,958 they used to call me Prince Handsome. 764 00:52:07,208 --> 00:52:10,917 Faithfull likes to call me Handsome too. 765 00:52:11,542 --> 00:52:14,708 Don't fool around because you are handsome. 766 00:52:24,625 --> 00:52:26,208 Can you stop fighting? 767 00:52:26,458 --> 00:52:28,125 Or I will put all of you in jail. 768 00:52:28,375 --> 00:52:30,375 I am here to welcome you all on behalf of His Majesty. 769 00:52:30,625 --> 00:52:32,375 Tomorrow you will go to meet His Majesty. 770 00:52:32,708 --> 00:52:35,417 No more fighting, just be friends, okay? 771 00:52:35,750 --> 00:52:36,583 Who are you? 772 00:52:36,792 --> 00:52:39,542 I am Tiger, the mighty guard from Central Plains. 773 00:52:39,750 --> 00:52:42,375 This is my brother, Royal Dog. 774 00:52:47,458 --> 00:52:48,833 Two punks. 775 00:52:48,958 --> 00:52:52,417 After the competition, you will all be cripples. 776 00:52:52,625 --> 00:52:54,583 Why should we be friends now? 777 00:52:56,292 --> 00:52:57,333 Where's the princess? 778 00:53:03,250 --> 00:53:04,875 What the hell! I am leaving... 779 00:53:05,917 --> 00:53:09,125 This is so disrespectful to the Princess. 780 00:53:11,292 --> 00:53:14,042 I don't care who the hell he is. 781 00:53:14,292 --> 00:53:15,542 I just want to beat him up. 782 00:53:15,708 --> 00:53:17,500 -Me too. -Me too. 783 00:53:18,708 --> 00:53:21,625 Don't be a fool, or we will fix you up. 784 00:53:23,375 --> 00:53:25,708 Are there no handsome men in the country? 785 00:53:32,042 --> 00:53:33,125 Your Majesty. 786 00:53:33,417 --> 00:53:35,333 Long live the Emperor! 787 00:53:35,542 --> 00:53:37,917 Everybody gets up- 788 00:53:38,167 --> 00:53:39,417 Thanks, Your Majesty. 789 00:53:39,583 --> 00:53:42,833 Today I am going to choose a husband for the princess. 790 00:53:43,042 --> 00:53:46,458 The winner would be my son-in-law. 791 00:53:46,917 --> 00:53:51,833 My son-in-law should be a kung fu master and a man of letters. 792 00:53:52,042 --> 00:53:56,083 He should also love Princess Rainbow with his whole soul. 793 00:53:56,292 --> 00:53:59,167 So, contestants would enter two tests today. 794 00:53:59,333 --> 00:54:00,958 First, the oral test. 795 00:54:01,167 --> 00:54:04,958 Contestants must express their love to Princess Rainbow in flowery speech. 796 00:54:05,167 --> 00:54:07,125 Second, IQ test. 797 00:54:07,292 --> 00:54:09,417 And martial arts will be tested tomorrow. 798 00:54:09,625 --> 00:54:11,625 Okay, who first? 799 00:54:11,917 --> 00:54:15,958 Tell Princess Rainbow how much you love her. 800 00:54:17,417 --> 00:54:18,833 Me first. 801 00:54:26,875 --> 00:54:28,500 Look how strong I am. 802 00:54:28,750 --> 00:54:32,708 With me by her side, no one will dare to offend the princess. 803 00:54:44,833 --> 00:54:47,250 Young fellow, you stink... 804 00:54:47,500 --> 00:54:49,792 you'd better go home and wash up yourself! 805 00:54:49,958 --> 00:54:51,292 Next. 806 00:54:57,167 --> 00:54:58,875 I am out of it. 807 00:54:59,958 --> 00:55:01,292 Get out of my way! 808 00:55:02,833 --> 00:55:04,083 How rude! 809 00:55:14,250 --> 00:55:16,500 Awesome, another one... 810 00:55:28,958 --> 00:55:31,625 That's enough! Go home, idiot! 811 00:55:35,375 --> 00:55:39,583 That handsome fellow, you go ahead. 812 00:55:44,958 --> 00:55:49,708 Your Highness, my love for you is like the evening star. 813 00:55:55,583 --> 00:55:57,792 I can't take that... 814 00:55:58,833 --> 00:56:01,917 -Your Highness... -Your Highness... 815 00:56:02,083 --> 00:56:03,333 What should we do now? 816 00:56:03,875 --> 00:56:07,958 You are embarrassing Her Highness. Get lost. 817 00:56:09,708 --> 00:56:12,792 Brother, you have practiced the whole night yesterday. 818 00:56:12,958 --> 00:56:14,792 It's time to let us see it. 819 00:56:14,958 --> 00:56:16,292 Your master move. 820 00:56:16,583 --> 00:56:18,875 Brother, I am very nervous. 821 00:56:19,083 --> 00:56:19,958 Why should you be nervous? 822 00:56:20,208 --> 00:56:23,292 You were doing fine last night, go ahead. 823 00:56:30,958 --> 00:56:32,125 Ready. 824 00:56:32,292 --> 00:56:33,458 Go. 825 00:56:34,958 --> 00:56:38,292 Your Highness, my love for you is so great that, 826 00:56:38,583 --> 00:56:41,542 no matter how big the tempest, how violent the storm... 827 00:56:41,708 --> 00:56:44,792 nothing is gonna stop me. 828 00:56:45,083 --> 00:56:46,625 Whether you love me or not, 829 00:56:46,833 --> 00:56:49,750 I'll be your protector all my life. 830 00:56:49,958 --> 00:56:52,708 To keep you safe and happy. 831 00:56:53,083 --> 00:56:55,958 Let me shoulder all your burden. 832 00:57:03,625 --> 00:57:04,292 Okay, ready. 833 00:57:04,458 --> 00:57:06,333 1,2,3, go. 834 00:57:07,833 --> 00:57:09,958 Your... 835 00:57:11,625 --> 00:57:13,958 Your... 836 00:57:14,917 --> 00:57:15,708 What's wrong with you? 837 00:57:15,875 --> 00:57:17,208 Bro, I am very nervous. 838 00:57:17,417 --> 00:57:19,167 Why is that? 839 00:57:19,417 --> 00:57:22,417 As soon as I look at her, I can't utter a word. 840 00:57:22,917 --> 00:57:25,250 Well, don't look upon her as the princess. 841 00:57:25,458 --> 00:57:27,958 But pretend that she is our mother. 842 00:57:28,208 --> 00:57:31,750 Or your most hated enemy, go ahead and say it. 843 00:57:43,625 --> 00:57:45,958 Father, am I that ugly? Father... 844 00:57:46,167 --> 00:57:47,250 Royal Tiger, how dare you... 845 00:57:47,458 --> 00:57:50,625 Throw up in front of the princess, that's insulting. 846 00:57:50,875 --> 00:57:54,500 Cast him out. 847 00:57:56,250 --> 00:57:58,833 Royal Dog, I order you to make the princess laugh. 848 00:57:58,958 --> 00:58:02,542 Or you will eat Royal Tiger's vomit. 849 00:58:05,333 --> 00:58:06,583 Are you hungry? 850 00:58:14,333 --> 00:58:15,583 Let's go! 851 00:58:17,583 --> 00:58:20,917 Your Highness, if you ask me 852 00:58:21,167 --> 00:58:22,625 how much I love you, 853 00:58:22,833 --> 00:58:25,375 My love for you is as genuine as... 854 00:58:25,625 --> 00:58:27,625 the moon. 855 00:58:27,875 --> 00:58:31,333 Just a light kiss and I am deeply moved. 856 00:58:31,625 --> 00:58:32,958 For an everlasting romance... 857 00:58:34,167 --> 00:58:36,750 how could I forget that? 858 00:58:37,583 --> 00:58:41,958 Brother...Calm down... 859 00:58:42,125 --> 00:58:43,333 Father... 860 00:58:44,083 --> 00:58:45,375 I want to marry him. 861 00:58:47,083 --> 00:58:49,542 Really? Are you sure? 862 00:58:49,708 --> 00:58:53,417 Yes, I trust him. It will be great... 863 00:58:53,750 --> 00:58:55,708 To be his father-in-law. 864 00:58:56,333 --> 00:58:58,208 None of my business. 865 00:58:58,958 --> 00:59:03,083 You can surely sweet-talk the princess into marrying you but you can't fool me. 866 00:59:03,250 --> 00:59:04,875 Alright, I will test your IQ. 867 00:59:05,583 --> 00:59:06,958 Should I be tested on literacy? 868 00:59:07,250 --> 00:59:11,083 I decide what test you will take! 869 00:59:11,750 --> 00:59:13,833 Alright, go ahead. 870 00:59:14,042 --> 00:59:17,125 A rare lamb chop and a medium rare beef steak 871 00:59:17,375 --> 00:59:18,625 were put in the pan. 872 00:59:18,875 --> 00:59:19,917 Why didn't they talk to each other? 873 00:59:20,208 --> 00:59:21,708 Because they are not done. 874 00:59:22,042 --> 00:59:23,625 A shark has eaten 50 catty of green pea, 875 00:59:23,917 --> 00:59:24,625 what would it become? 876 00:59:24,833 --> 00:59:26,333 Green pea congee! 877 00:59:30,250 --> 00:59:31,083 Great! 878 00:59:31,333 --> 00:59:33,875 The chief of a cannibalistic tribe suddenly wants to eat vegetables. 879 00:59:34,083 --> 00:59:34,958 What should he have? 880 00:59:35,167 --> 00:59:36,292 A veggie. 881 00:59:36,750 --> 00:59:38,458 You go camping in the wilderness. 882 00:59:38,958 --> 00:59:41,583 You get up at midnight, you can see stars in the sky. 883 00:59:41,792 --> 00:59:43,375 And the Big Dipper is over your head 884 00:59:43,625 --> 00:59:45,375 What would you think of? 885 00:59:45,750 --> 00:59:49,333 The vast universe and the brevity of human life. 886 00:59:49,500 --> 00:59:50,167 Wrong. 887 00:59:50,375 --> 00:59:52,167 Your tent is stolen. 888 00:59:53,958 --> 00:59:58,375 If you are wrong again, you will be out. 889 00:59:59,833 --> 01:00:01,958 How strict you are... 890 01:00:02,208 --> 01:00:03,958 Alright, ask your question. 891 01:00:06,500 --> 01:00:09,250 There's a foreign woman who doesn't know Chinese. 892 01:00:09,500 --> 01:00:11,708 When she goes to buy chicken breast, she points to her own chest. 893 01:00:11,958 --> 01:00:13,583 And mimicks the chicken's crow. 894 01:00:13,875 --> 01:00:14,958 She successfully buys chicken breast. 895 01:00:15,125 --> 01:00:16,875 On the next day, she needs to buy dried sausage. 896 01:00:17,083 --> 01:00:19,167 Instead of going herself, she tells her husband to go buy it, why? 897 01:00:22,250 --> 01:00:24,542 Because her husband speaks Chinese. 898 01:00:25,542 --> 01:00:28,083 Bravo! Brother... 899 01:00:28,833 --> 01:00:30,625 You are driving me nuts. 900 01:00:30,833 --> 01:00:34,375 You are forcing me to ask you 901 01:00:34,708 --> 01:00:35,958 the unanswerable question. 902 01:00:37,208 --> 01:00:39,958 You scare me. 903 01:00:40,625 --> 01:00:43,833 In the middle of the night, a man is wakened by his child... 904 01:00:44,125 --> 01:00:45,500 who cries because he is hungry. 905 01:00:45,708 --> 01:00:49,917 Which part of the body should he use to feed his child? 906 01:00:50,083 --> 01:00:51,250 His right foot. Why? 907 01:00:51,458 --> 01:00:54,458 Because he kicks his wife to wake her up to feed the child. 908 01:00:56,750 --> 01:00:59,083 I am pissed... 909 01:00:59,958 --> 01:01:01,333 To me, such questions... 910 01:01:01,542 --> 01:01:04,083 are a piece of cake, Your Highness! 911 01:01:04,458 --> 01:01:08,833 Okay, I will announce the result for today. 912 01:01:09,042 --> 01:01:11,375 Royal Dog, 6 points. 913 01:01:12,375 --> 01:01:13,708 And the others... 914 01:01:13,917 --> 01:01:15,083 zero points. 915 01:01:15,250 --> 01:01:16,042 What? 916 01:01:16,250 --> 01:01:18,167 Royal Dog is now the favourite to win this competition 917 01:01:18,333 --> 01:01:19,417 Yes. 918 01:01:19,583 --> 01:01:21,417 If he gets 2 points tomorrow... 919 01:01:21,625 --> 01:01:23,917 Princess Rainbow will have to marry him. 920 01:01:24,208 --> 01:01:25,167 But he doesn't know kung-fu. 921 01:01:25,500 --> 01:01:27,833 Yeah, he cannot fight. 922 01:01:28,250 --> 01:01:30,583 Yet still he managed to kill all the ninja assassins. 923 01:01:30,833 --> 01:01:33,250 Lord Unicorn was fooled by him a few days ago. 924 01:01:33,458 --> 01:01:36,583 Would it be a surprise if he beats all those princes? 925 01:01:37,458 --> 01:01:39,708 Then let this idiot marry the princess. 926 01:01:39,958 --> 01:01:41,792 In fact, I am fed up with him. 927 01:01:42,125 --> 01:01:43,958 Don't you guys want me not to marry him? 928 01:01:44,167 --> 01:01:47,292 It'd be fine for you to dump him. 929 01:01:47,583 --> 01:01:49,583 But if he marries the princess... 930 01:01:49,792 --> 01:01:52,042 people will think that it is he who dumps you. 931 01:01:52,250 --> 01:01:56,500 You will become the abandoned woman. What a shame! 932 01:01:56,708 --> 01:01:59,208 Right, what should I do then? 933 01:01:59,458 --> 01:02:00,917 Stop him from entering the competition tomorrow. 934 01:02:01,333 --> 01:02:02,625 How? 935 01:02:03,208 --> 01:02:04,708 What is done cannot be undone. 936 01:02:06,833 --> 01:02:08,417 You want me to... 937 01:02:08,625 --> 01:02:09,875 No way. 938 01:02:10,208 --> 01:02:12,708 My dear daughter, let's say... 939 01:02:12,917 --> 01:02:14,625 Someone snatches your husband, no one would believe that. 940 01:02:14,917 --> 01:02:16,042 If the princess 941 01:02:16,292 --> 01:02:20,042 snatches your husband, everyone will believe that. 942 01:02:20,500 --> 01:02:21,417 You will lose face! You will be humiliated! 943 01:02:21,625 --> 01:02:23,583 But I don't know how to seduce men... 944 01:02:25,875 --> 01:02:28,625 For your sake, your mother 945 01:02:28,875 --> 01:02:30,917 Wave to use my master move. 946 01:02:35,125 --> 01:02:37,292 I am lonely and lost. 947 01:02:37,458 --> 01:02:40,833 Come on, honey, hold me tight... 948 01:02:42,875 --> 01:02:44,542 So warm. 949 01:02:47,958 --> 01:02:50,792 Hey, you two throw up? 950 01:02:51,292 --> 01:02:52,792 Am I that disgusting? 951 01:02:52,958 --> 01:02:55,042 Of course not. Mom, you are great. 952 01:02:55,250 --> 01:02:57,250 I already know how to "snatch a husband". 953 01:02:57,542 --> 01:02:58,958 I will use it on Royal Dog. 954 01:02:59,625 --> 01:03:02,083 Honey, you can do it. Go get him. 955 01:03:02,250 --> 01:03:04,625 Right! You can do it. 956 01:03:04,958 --> 01:03:06,625 Get him... 957 01:03:07,417 --> 01:03:08,375 Bastard. 958 01:03:09,750 --> 01:03:11,542 Amida Buddha, for the rest of our life... 959 01:03:11,750 --> 01:03:13,875 for rich or for poor 960 01:03:14,125 --> 01:03:16,125 Please give us your blessing. 961 01:03:20,292 --> 01:03:21,875 Let's see. 962 01:03:22,083 --> 01:03:22,917 It is a curse... 963 01:03:23,125 --> 01:03:26,083 We are not blessed, we are doomed. 964 01:03:26,250 --> 01:03:27,250 What should we do? 965 01:03:27,542 --> 01:03:28,917 What should we do? 966 01:03:29,208 --> 01:03:29,792 Wait... 967 01:03:29,958 --> 01:03:31,250 Wait... 968 01:03:31,458 --> 01:03:33,708 Throw all the curse sticks away 969 01:03:33,917 --> 01:03:36,083 and replace them with blessing sticks 970 01:03:37,750 --> 01:03:40,375 This time we won't be cursed, try again. 971 01:03:40,625 --> 01:03:42,875 Amida Buddha... 972 01:03:49,250 --> 01:03:50,750 Bastard! 973 01:03:50,958 --> 01:03:53,167 Are you playing tricks on me? 974 01:03:53,375 --> 01:03:54,625 Either give me a curse stick 975 01:03:54,750 --> 01:03:57,208 Or no stick at all. 976 01:03:57,375 --> 01:03:58,875 I pay respect to you and ask for your blessing. 977 01:03:59,083 --> 01:04:00,958 Otherwise I will have burnt down this temple. 978 01:04:01,167 --> 01:04:03,583 So stop playing tricks on me. 979 01:04:03,792 --> 01:04:04,750 Forget it... 980 01:04:04,958 --> 01:04:07,250 We are not superstitious. 981 01:04:09,583 --> 01:04:10,500 Let's go. 982 01:04:10,708 --> 01:04:11,917 Go. 983 01:04:25,042 --> 01:04:27,375 Amida Buddha doesn't bless me this time. 984 01:04:27,542 --> 01:04:30,083 Should I depose the emperor? 985 01:04:32,250 --> 01:04:34,375 Your Majesty. 986 01:04:34,583 --> 01:04:35,375 Where have you been? 987 01:04:35,542 --> 01:04:38,167 I have been waiting for you the whole night. 988 01:04:38,750 --> 01:04:41,333 I just went to the temple. 989 01:04:42,125 --> 01:04:46,042 Your Majesty, do you love me? 990 01:04:46,250 --> 01:04:46,875 I do. 991 01:04:47,125 --> 01:04:50,500 You doesn't mean what you say. 992 01:04:50,708 --> 01:04:51,750 Ask me again. 993 01:04:51,958 --> 01:04:54,750 Your Majesty, do you love me? 994 01:04:55,958 --> 01:04:58,500 You have to think hard. 995 01:04:59,625 --> 01:05:00,417 Your Majesty, 996 01:05:00,625 --> 01:05:03,167 if I have done something wrong, will you still love me? 997 01:05:03,375 --> 01:05:04,500 I Will. 998 01:05:06,625 --> 01:05:10,625 What if it's a big big mistake? 999 01:05:10,875 --> 01:05:12,833 What is it then? 1000 01:05:13,750 --> 01:05:15,500 Depose you, for example? 1001 01:05:15,750 --> 01:05:17,458 Just an example... 1002 01:05:17,833 --> 01:05:20,500 That's a deadly offence. I will have to execute your whole clan. 1003 01:05:21,792 --> 01:05:23,417 But I will still love you. 1004 01:05:36,417 --> 01:05:37,458 What are you doing? 1005 01:05:37,917 --> 01:05:40,292 Nothing...l am just covering up my chest... 1006 01:05:40,542 --> 01:05:42,500 My dress has a plunging neckline. 1007 01:05:42,833 --> 01:05:44,250 I like to see the back of your head. 1008 01:05:44,500 --> 01:05:46,417 Turn around. 1009 01:05:48,625 --> 01:05:51,125 In fact you don't have to send the beautiful concubines 1010 01:05:51,417 --> 01:05:53,167 to work in the kitchen. 1011 01:05:53,375 --> 01:05:56,500 You are the only woman in the palace 1012 01:05:56,708 --> 01:05:58,833 that I really love. 1013 01:06:00,125 --> 01:06:01,875 Are you done with that? 1014 01:06:03,625 --> 01:06:04,958 Are you sweating? 1015 01:06:06,083 --> 01:06:07,125 Yes, Your Majesty. 1016 01:06:07,292 --> 01:06:11,542 I am getting so horny when I see you. 1017 01:06:15,708 --> 01:06:17,583 I am having a fever. 1018 01:06:19,292 --> 01:06:20,917 I come at the wrong time. 1019 01:06:21,583 --> 01:06:24,583 Well, I'll return to my room, you'd better have some rest. 1020 01:06:24,833 --> 01:06:26,625 Yes, Your Majesty. 1021 01:06:27,125 --> 01:06:29,083 Bye. 1022 01:06:33,542 --> 01:06:37,542 Sister... 1023 01:06:38,208 --> 01:06:39,708 What happened? 1024 01:06:40,083 --> 01:06:41,458 That bastard Taro says 1025 01:06:41,625 --> 01:06:44,625 We must kill Royal Dog to avenge his brother's murder 1026 01:06:44,917 --> 01:06:46,750 Before he helps us to depose the emperor. 1027 01:06:46,958 --> 01:06:48,333 Let him go and kill Royal Dog himself then. 1028 01:06:48,833 --> 01:06:51,917 But the Royal Secret Guards are watching over me so tightly. 1029 01:06:52,083 --> 01:06:53,625 How tight? 1030 01:07:06,083 --> 01:07:07,625 What should I do then? 1031 01:07:08,333 --> 01:07:13,500 Brother, do you still remember I learnt Ninjutsu? 1032 01:07:13,708 --> 01:07:17,208 I am a ninja. I can transform too. 1033 01:07:17,417 --> 01:07:18,958 Right. 1034 01:07:19,167 --> 01:07:19,833 So... 1035 01:07:20,083 --> 01:07:23,500 Well, I will go kill Royal Dog. 1036 01:07:23,708 --> 01:07:25,917 Come on... 1037 01:07:26,917 --> 01:07:30,458 Sister, you probably made a mistake. 1038 01:07:31,417 --> 01:07:33,583 Okay! I will transform myself again 1039 01:07:34,958 --> 01:07:36,750 Transform... 1040 01:07:37,083 --> 01:07:38,333 I am on my way. 1041 01:07:39,042 --> 01:07:41,833 Come back soon. 1042 01:07:52,333 --> 01:07:54,750 Once you took my "Frog" poison, 1043 01:07:55,083 --> 01:07:56,375 you will surely die. 1044 01:08:06,083 --> 01:08:07,583 Mr. Dog. 1045 01:08:08,417 --> 01:08:09,625 Who is it? 1046 01:08:13,208 --> 01:08:18,583 Damn it, he ran away. 1047 01:08:21,708 --> 01:08:23,792 Marco Solo! 1048 01:08:23,958 --> 01:08:25,958 Mr. Dog, how are you? 1049 01:08:26,125 --> 01:08:26,833 What did you say? 1050 01:08:27,042 --> 01:08:28,625 How are you? 1051 01:08:28,917 --> 01:08:30,250 Where's the stuff I ordered? 1052 01:08:30,458 --> 01:08:31,792 It's all here. 1053 01:08:31,958 --> 01:08:34,333 Get out. 1054 01:08:38,833 --> 01:08:41,208 Mr. Dog, let me tell you. 1055 01:08:41,375 --> 01:08:44,708 This is called a pistol or, to use a Chinese translation - the huochong. 1056 01:08:44,917 --> 01:08:47,583 One shot can kill a person. 1057 01:08:48,083 --> 01:08:48,958 What if it misses? 1058 01:08:49,208 --> 01:08:50,958 Then the guy will run away. 1059 01:08:52,833 --> 01:08:56,167 Why didn't they make one that can fire several shots? 1060 01:08:56,333 --> 01:08:57,750 That is a good idea! 1061 01:08:58,083 --> 01:09:00,042 You think about how to make one yourself. 1062 01:09:02,083 --> 01:09:05,250 Don't point it at yourself, in case of an accident! 1063 01:09:06,708 --> 01:09:08,042 Really? 1064 01:09:08,333 --> 01:09:10,083 No, don't point it at me. 1065 01:09:12,125 --> 01:09:14,833 Didn't you say it can fire one shot only? What are you scared of? 1066 01:09:15,958 --> 01:09:17,083 Anything else? 1067 01:09:17,292 --> 01:09:20,208 Mr. Dog, this thing is badly ventilated. 1068 01:09:20,375 --> 01:09:21,208 What is it for? 1069 01:09:21,458 --> 01:09:23,500 To collect oxygen. 1070 01:09:23,833 --> 01:09:26,417 You Chinese know a lot. 1071 01:09:27,333 --> 01:09:28,500 Aren't you Chinese too? 1072 01:09:28,708 --> 01:09:30,833 Don't think that I didn't know you dyed your hair? 1073 01:09:31,083 --> 01:09:33,417 You are Mr. Ma. 1074 01:09:33,583 --> 01:09:35,125 I am mixed-blooded. 1075 01:09:35,292 --> 01:09:36,750 Mixed-blooded... 1076 01:09:36,958 --> 01:09:39,042 Chinese do have lots of inventions. 1077 01:09:40,083 --> 01:09:42,958 In fact, I know almost everything in science. 1078 01:09:43,333 --> 01:09:45,958 Except two. 1079 01:09:46,208 --> 01:09:47,583 Is it about the universe? 1080 01:09:47,750 --> 01:09:48,750 No. 1081 01:09:49,167 --> 01:09:50,167 What is it then? 1082 01:09:50,333 --> 01:09:52,417 Women and love. 1083 01:09:52,625 --> 01:09:53,833 Women and love? 1084 01:09:53,958 --> 01:09:57,625 The Europeans are more romantic than the Chinese. 1085 01:09:57,833 --> 01:09:59,625 If you like a woman... 1086 01:09:59,958 --> 01:10:01,583 you sing a love song to her 1087 01:10:01,833 --> 01:10:03,958 and then kiss her. 1088 01:10:04,208 --> 01:10:06,958 Then she will love you with all her heart. 1089 01:10:07,208 --> 01:10:08,292 Kiss? 1090 01:10:08,458 --> 01:10:09,458 Like this? 1091 01:10:15,500 --> 01:10:18,792 Faithfull, it's so late, you look as if you are horny... 1092 01:10:18,958 --> 01:10:20,208 What are you doing? 1093 01:10:20,500 --> 01:10:22,625 How's that? Beautiful? 1094 01:10:25,208 --> 01:10:27,250 You must be the foreigner who swindles his money. 1095 01:10:27,417 --> 01:10:28,458 She is your girlfriend? 1096 01:10:28,708 --> 01:10:29,917 Yes. 1097 01:10:30,500 --> 01:10:31,958 His fiancee. 1098 01:10:32,292 --> 01:10:34,625 I am not disturbing you then. Be romantic... 1099 01:10:34,750 --> 01:10:36,208 Bye. 1100 01:10:38,958 --> 01:10:40,500 What's romantic? 1101 01:10:40,625 --> 01:10:42,500 What? Romantic? 1102 01:10:42,958 --> 01:10:45,125 That's a western thing, how could I know what that is? 1103 01:10:48,375 --> 01:10:49,875 Why do you come here? 1104 01:10:50,250 --> 01:10:52,167 Don't you have to be with your Mr. Handsome? 1105 01:10:53,500 --> 01:10:55,583 Last time I did that on purpose. 1106 01:10:55,792 --> 01:10:59,083 Do I look like a woman of easy virtue? 1107 01:10:59,250 --> 01:11:00,208 You do. 1108 01:11:00,375 --> 01:11:01,750 What did you say? 1109 01:11:05,500 --> 01:11:07,208 I'll kill myself if you don't believe me . 1110 01:11:12,083 --> 01:11:14,500 You look like you are poisoned. 1111 01:11:16,125 --> 01:11:18,083 The chance is coming again. 1112 01:11:18,250 --> 01:11:19,833 Don't cry so loud in the middle of the night. 1113 01:11:19,958 --> 01:11:22,417 People will think that I rape you. 1114 01:11:22,708 --> 01:11:25,125 Get me up... Get me up... 1115 01:11:25,292 --> 01:11:26,125 No. 1116 01:11:26,375 --> 01:11:27,750 Really? 1117 01:11:36,292 --> 01:11:37,958 Come on. 1118 01:11:45,500 --> 01:11:47,917 I will kill you for sure. 1119 01:11:50,167 --> 01:11:52,542 Honey, I want to marry you as soon as possible. 1120 01:11:52,750 --> 01:11:54,750 And have many many kids. 1121 01:11:54,958 --> 01:11:56,750 You look like that you are gonna rape me. 1122 01:11:56,958 --> 01:11:58,583 Are you having a fever? 1123 01:12:07,375 --> 01:12:10,958 Honey, I am home alone... 1124 01:12:11,167 --> 01:12:13,958 I am so lonely and lost... 1125 01:12:14,250 --> 01:12:15,500 I am so cold... 1126 01:12:15,708 --> 01:12:19,208 I want you to hold me and give me warmth... 1127 01:12:19,375 --> 01:12:23,042 Your arms are so strong.. 1128 01:12:31,042 --> 01:12:33,542 Have you tried the western way of wooing? 1129 01:12:34,292 --> 01:12:35,750 What western way? 1130 01:12:35,875 --> 01:12:38,083 We have to sing a love song first... 1131 01:12:38,292 --> 01:12:39,167 then kiss... 1132 01:12:39,375 --> 01:12:41,500 Skip the singing part. 1133 01:12:52,625 --> 01:12:53,958 Oh? 1134 01:12:56,750 --> 01:12:57,458 How does it feel? 1135 01:12:57,625 --> 01:12:58,875 A little bit... 1136 01:13:10,833 --> 01:13:11,625 A little bit dizzy. 1137 01:13:11,875 --> 01:13:12,958 There's something else. 1138 01:13:20,750 --> 01:13:21,958 I want to throw up. 1139 01:13:22,167 --> 01:13:24,375 You are enjoying it. 1140 01:13:30,458 --> 01:13:32,958 I have never tried this before. 1141 01:13:38,208 --> 01:13:39,292 Help. 1142 01:13:55,750 --> 01:13:57,708 I am crushed... 1143 01:14:05,958 --> 01:14:07,292 Shit, she recognized me. 1144 01:14:25,208 --> 01:14:27,917 Help. 1145 01:14:31,583 --> 01:14:35,958 Are you gonna many me? 1146 01:14:38,833 --> 01:14:41,167 Don't threaten me now. 1147 01:14:43,083 --> 01:14:45,625 What lies underneath here? 1148 01:14:46,625 --> 01:14:48,583 The drainage system. 1149 01:14:49,083 --> 01:14:51,958 My parents have been smelly for a few days. 1150 01:14:54,583 --> 01:14:55,917 Honey... 1151 01:14:57,167 --> 01:14:58,750 I can't stand it any more. 1152 01:15:01,750 --> 01:15:03,167 It's broken? 1153 01:15:06,583 --> 01:15:08,125 Honey... 1154 01:15:08,292 --> 01:15:10,958 You are going to withdraw from the competition tomorrow, you can't marry the princess. 1155 01:15:11,333 --> 01:15:13,417 I don't want to marry her at all. 1156 01:15:13,750 --> 01:15:17,292 You are the only one I love. 1157 01:15:17,417 --> 01:15:18,958 It's you who dumped me. 1158 01:15:19,375 --> 01:15:20,417 I... 1159 01:15:20,792 --> 01:15:22,625 I want to be with you... 1160 01:15:22,833 --> 01:15:24,833 romantic... 1161 01:15:25,042 --> 01:15:26,625 What about Mr. Handsome? 1162 01:15:30,417 --> 01:15:33,417 What? You are too cunning. 1163 01:15:34,042 --> 01:15:35,125 My dear honey. 1164 01:15:42,042 --> 01:15:44,083 Your Highness. You look... 1165 01:15:44,250 --> 01:15:46,583 very different today. 1166 01:15:47,083 --> 01:15:52,625 Do you guys like thick lips? 1167 01:15:53,083 --> 01:15:55,833 I heard about that, but no guys... 1168 01:15:56,042 --> 01:15:57,583 like duck lips. 1169 01:15:57,750 --> 01:15:58,958 Shut up. 1170 01:15:59,500 --> 01:16:03,208 This is the second round of the competition. 1171 01:16:03,458 --> 01:16:05,625 Which will decide who the winner is. 1172 01:16:05,833 --> 01:16:09,708 If no one beats Royal Dog, 1173 01:16:09,958 --> 01:16:13,458 he will be the Imperial son-in-law. 1174 01:16:19,625 --> 01:16:22,625 What are you doing? 1175 01:16:22,917 --> 01:16:26,417 Your Majesty, I withdraw from the competition. 1176 01:16:26,625 --> 01:16:27,625 Good luck to all the... 1177 01:16:27,833 --> 01:16:29,417 other contestants. 1178 01:16:29,625 --> 01:16:31,500 All the best. 1179 01:16:31,625 --> 01:16:32,625 Brother, you... 1180 01:16:32,792 --> 01:16:34,625 Brother, do your best. 1181 01:16:36,042 --> 01:16:37,833 What do you mean? 1182 01:16:38,625 --> 01:16:41,042 That's defrauding the Emperor. 1183 01:16:41,417 --> 01:16:44,958 Your Highness, even if I win, I can't marry you. 1184 01:16:45,167 --> 01:16:46,792 Because I already have Faithfull. 1185 01:16:47,042 --> 01:16:48,583 She is good at kung fu 1186 01:16:48,792 --> 01:16:51,208 and loves to serve me, but most importantly... 1187 01:16:51,500 --> 01:16:53,917 I don't have to give her all my salary. 1188 01:16:54,167 --> 01:16:56,583 Royal Dog, do you want to have your head chopped off? 1189 01:16:57,542 --> 01:17:01,208 Father, can't you let me pick my husband? 1190 01:17:02,333 --> 01:17:03,708 You shut up. Of course not. 1191 01:17:03,958 --> 01:17:05,917 You are the princess. 1192 01:17:06,083 --> 01:17:07,292 How can you say something so silly? 1193 01:17:07,500 --> 01:17:10,208 Guards! Put Royal Dog under arrest. 1194 01:17:10,417 --> 01:17:12,750 Your Majesty, my brother has been protecting you for years. 1195 01:17:12,958 --> 01:17:13,958 Please pardon him, Your Majesty. 1196 01:17:14,167 --> 01:17:15,625 In accordance with the law, 1197 01:17:15,875 --> 01:17:19,083 Anyone who speaks for the offender is equally guilty. 1198 01:17:19,792 --> 01:17:21,500 Please pardon me, Your Majesty. 1199 01:17:21,708 --> 01:17:23,167 Put them both in jail. 1200 01:17:24,417 --> 01:17:27,583 Why is it that we have to share the misfortune but not good luck? 1201 01:17:27,792 --> 01:17:28,833 Take them away! 1202 01:17:29,083 --> 01:17:32,542 Move it! Hurry up... 1203 01:17:37,500 --> 01:17:38,708 Is it over? 1204 01:17:38,917 --> 01:17:41,458 Can we start now? 1205 01:17:44,042 --> 01:17:45,625 Of course. 1206 01:17:46,167 --> 01:17:47,292 Go ahead! 1207 01:17:57,042 --> 01:17:59,958 Old Fool! Have you gone mad? 1208 01:18:00,167 --> 01:18:02,292 Those princes compete among themselves, 1209 01:18:02,500 --> 01:18:05,292 not against your staff. 1210 01:18:06,417 --> 01:18:07,458 You good-for-nothing Emperor! 1211 01:18:08,292 --> 01:18:09,958 Why are you so dumb? 1212 01:18:10,167 --> 01:18:13,583 They do not come for the competition. They come to depose you. 1213 01:18:13,792 --> 01:18:16,458 Depose me? 1214 01:18:16,958 --> 01:18:19,958 Aren't you Royal Secret Guards all on my side? 1215 01:18:20,375 --> 01:18:23,917 Lock the emperor and the princess up. 1216 01:18:24,083 --> 01:18:27,542 Honey, you'd better go first. 1217 01:18:28,083 --> 01:18:31,458 Sony, I am one of them. 1218 01:18:31,625 --> 01:18:34,708 But honey, I realize now that I love you very much. 1219 01:18:34,917 --> 01:18:36,750 Bro, can we not depose him? 1220 01:18:37,042 --> 01:18:39,083 Just pretend nothing ever happened. 1221 01:18:39,542 --> 01:18:40,583 Of course... 1222 01:18:40,792 --> 01:18:41,958 Not! 1223 01:18:42,292 --> 01:18:46,625 Let us get ready for the princess' wedding. 1224 01:18:47,625 --> 01:18:49,875 Will the princess marry me? 1225 01:18:50,500 --> 01:18:52,500 Of course...not. 1226 01:18:58,625 --> 01:19:01,042 I am the one 1227 01:19:01,292 --> 01:19:03,042 who will marry the princess. 1228 01:19:05,333 --> 01:19:07,375 No... 1229 01:19:09,542 --> 01:19:11,958 Unicorn, save me. 1230 01:19:12,167 --> 01:19:14,917 Your Majesty, how can I... 1231 01:19:15,167 --> 01:19:17,708 beat them all? 1232 01:19:19,917 --> 01:19:21,750 You are smart. 1233 01:19:26,625 --> 01:19:29,958 But I can arrest you. 1234 01:19:30,917 --> 01:19:34,083 Your brother has committed treason. 1235 01:19:39,708 --> 01:19:41,167 Tyrant! 1236 01:19:41,500 --> 01:19:44,167 You order your Royal Secret Guards to kill my brother. 1237 01:19:44,708 --> 01:19:47,167 I will now avenge his death. 1238 01:19:47,583 --> 01:19:48,917 Who are you? 1239 01:19:49,083 --> 01:19:51,125 Buddy. 1240 01:19:51,958 --> 01:19:54,208 Good, please sit down. 1241 01:19:54,417 --> 01:19:56,208 But I am not your buddy, Your Majesty. 1242 01:19:56,417 --> 01:19:58,125 So you won't help me? 1243 01:19:58,375 --> 01:20:02,125 No, we won't. 1244 01:20:02,292 --> 01:20:03,333 Guards! 1245 01:20:03,542 --> 01:20:05,625 Prepare for the emperor to be deposed. 1246 01:20:06,167 --> 01:20:07,042 Deposed? 1247 01:20:07,250 --> 01:20:09,875 Father, Lord Unicorn wants to be king. 1248 01:20:11,167 --> 01:20:13,458 Who ever heard of an eunuch being king... 1249 01:20:14,542 --> 01:20:17,625 My Lord, I have thought about this. 1250 01:20:17,833 --> 01:20:20,625 You are the right person to take the throne. 1251 01:20:20,875 --> 01:20:23,167 You are my idol, my Lord. 1252 01:20:23,417 --> 01:20:26,208 I decide to switch sides again and serve you. 1253 01:20:26,417 --> 01:20:27,417 What do you think? 1254 01:20:27,625 --> 01:20:28,542 Great! 1255 01:20:28,750 --> 01:20:31,958 You will be my eunuch when I become king. 1256 01:20:33,292 --> 01:20:34,583 Whom should I marry now? 1257 01:20:34,792 --> 01:20:36,625 You... 1258 01:20:37,125 --> 01:20:38,583 Not you? 1259 01:20:39,083 --> 01:20:42,792 Everyone has to die! 1260 01:20:44,083 --> 01:20:45,083 Father! 1261 01:20:45,792 --> 01:20:47,083 Why is everything changed all in a sudden? 1262 01:20:47,292 --> 01:20:48,917 Taro and the eunuch are in this together. 1263 01:20:49,417 --> 01:20:51,708 Am I good or bad then? 1264 01:20:51,958 --> 01:20:53,583 You are the fool. 1265 01:20:54,583 --> 01:20:56,958 All of you don't give a damn about me. 1266 01:20:57,208 --> 01:20:58,625 I will protect His Majesty! 1267 01:21:01,583 --> 01:21:04,625 Ninja... 1268 01:21:22,750 --> 01:21:23,750 What is this? 1269 01:21:23,958 --> 01:21:26,583 I invent this while killing the fly with a paddle. 1270 01:21:26,875 --> 01:21:27,958 The cyclonic paddle. 1271 01:21:28,167 --> 01:21:29,125 Shit! 1272 01:21:33,958 --> 01:21:35,333 Nuts! 1273 01:21:37,375 --> 01:21:39,625 Who will save me now? 1274 01:21:39,833 --> 01:21:41,792 Those who could have saved you were all put in jail by Your Majesty. 1275 01:21:41,958 --> 01:21:43,042 I am still here. 1276 01:21:43,458 --> 01:21:45,042 Your humble servant Gemini is here to protect Your Majesty. 1277 01:21:46,292 --> 01:21:49,083 What? You? 1278 01:21:49,625 --> 01:21:51,250 What a waste! 1279 01:21:51,458 --> 01:21:52,792 You're sometimes man and sometimes woman... 1280 01:21:52,958 --> 01:21:55,042 What can you do? 1281 01:21:55,208 --> 01:21:56,333 I am here as well. 1282 01:21:58,292 --> 01:22:01,167 Miss, who are you? 1283 01:22:01,250 --> 01:22:03,917 My husband is Royal Dog, who is now in jail. 1284 01:22:04,292 --> 01:22:07,250 Are you for or against me? 1285 01:22:07,583 --> 01:22:08,833 I come to protect Your Majesty. 1286 01:22:09,417 --> 01:22:11,625 Welcome... 1287 01:22:12,125 --> 01:22:13,542 Only you two? 1288 01:22:13,708 --> 01:22:17,042 Wrong! The Royal Secret Guards have been preparing 1289 01:22:17,375 --> 01:22:18,917 for something like this in the past ten years,. 1290 01:22:24,333 --> 01:22:26,708 Great! ... 1291 01:22:35,875 --> 01:22:38,500 How could I know there is such a device? 1292 01:22:38,750 --> 01:22:40,125 My hubby told me that. 1293 01:22:40,417 --> 01:22:41,250 Your Majesty, run! 1294 01:22:41,375 --> 01:22:42,500 Where to? 1295 01:22:47,958 --> 01:22:49,542 It's another Royal Dog invention? 1296 01:22:49,750 --> 01:22:52,208 Bring him in, I must reward him! 1297 01:22:53,250 --> 01:22:56,375 You put him in jail a while ago. 1298 01:23:02,375 --> 01:23:03,625 Your Majesty. 1299 01:23:08,917 --> 01:23:11,250 Press the left button. 1300 01:23:12,583 --> 01:23:13,708 Kill you! 1301 01:23:17,542 --> 01:23:19,458 Your Majesty, we've come to save you. 1302 01:23:19,708 --> 01:23:22,958 Your Majesty, don't be scared. 1303 01:23:24,167 --> 01:23:26,250 Your Majesty, you are shocked. Your Majesty. 1304 01:23:28,417 --> 01:23:30,208 As long as I am still alive, it is okay. 1305 01:23:31,083 --> 01:23:31,917 Where's the princess? 1306 01:23:32,083 --> 01:23:32,792 Your Majesty, my daughter, 1307 01:23:32,958 --> 01:23:35,958 Faithfull and Gemini have taken the princess to a safe place. 1308 01:23:36,333 --> 01:23:38,833 I know a secret tunnel through which we can escape. 1309 01:23:39,250 --> 01:23:40,583 -Get moving... -Go... 1310 01:23:40,750 --> 01:23:42,042 Stay where you are... 1311 01:23:44,875 --> 01:23:47,167 See where you people can go... 1312 01:23:47,542 --> 01:23:50,625 Unicorn, as long as we are here. 1313 01:23:50,875 --> 01:23:54,958 You cannot do any harm to the emperor. 1314 01:23:55,167 --> 01:23:58,167 I've heard that you and your wife are the best kung fu masters in the country. 1315 01:23:58,375 --> 01:24:02,125 It'd be my honour to fight you today. 1316 01:24:04,875 --> 01:24:06,750 Fire kick! 1317 01:24:06,917 --> 01:24:07,792 Fire kick? 1318 01:24:13,375 --> 01:24:14,542 Hurry up. 1319 01:24:22,250 --> 01:24:23,625 Who are you? 1320 01:24:23,958 --> 01:24:26,208 Your Highness, Lord Unicorn has been colluding with the Japanese. 1321 01:24:26,417 --> 01:24:29,167 My father was murdered because he secured evidence of Lord Unicorn's collusion with the Japanese. 1322 01:24:29,542 --> 01:24:32,542 Today, besides the princess, 1323 01:24:32,708 --> 01:24:35,125 you two must die. 1324 01:24:35,917 --> 01:24:37,458 That's great. 1325 01:24:38,542 --> 01:24:41,625 That chick who wears man's costume is not bad. I will have her. 1326 01:24:42,125 --> 01:24:42,958 Okay, we won't kill her. 1327 01:24:43,417 --> 01:24:44,708 What do you mean? 1328 01:24:44,917 --> 01:24:48,292 You won't kill them because they are beautiful, what about me? 1329 01:24:48,625 --> 01:24:50,167 You deserve to die. 1330 01:24:52,167 --> 01:24:53,208 You are the one who deserves to die. 1331 01:25:02,417 --> 01:25:03,958 Are you done with that? 1332 01:25:36,583 --> 01:25:38,250 Are you two okay? 1333 01:25:44,792 --> 01:25:45,958 You are too horny. 1334 01:25:46,167 --> 01:25:47,583 I just thought of something. 1335 01:25:48,458 --> 01:25:49,833 Shouldn't you be in jail? 1336 01:25:49,958 --> 01:25:51,125 Of course not. 1337 01:25:55,333 --> 01:25:57,625 We laid this mousetrap with His Majesty to con you guys 1338 01:25:57,833 --> 01:26:00,875 To show yourselves in your true colours. 1339 01:26:02,833 --> 01:26:05,625 What? Those four princes are all fake princes? 1340 01:26:05,875 --> 01:26:07,208 Our information is true. 1341 01:26:07,375 --> 01:26:10,167 So we plead with His Majesty to cooperate with us 1342 01:26:10,375 --> 01:26:12,292 We let them think that His Majesty is exposed and has no protection. 1343 01:26:12,500 --> 01:26:14,625 They will reveal their true intentions. 1344 01:26:14,958 --> 01:26:17,333 What should I do? 1345 01:26:17,542 --> 01:26:18,542 Your Majesty. 1346 01:26:18,750 --> 01:26:20,917 My parents-in-law are kung-fu masters. 1347 01:26:21,125 --> 01:26:23,500 They will protect Your Majesty. 1348 01:26:25,500 --> 01:26:28,375 Then I will let them protect me. 1349 01:26:28,625 --> 01:26:29,625 Thanks, Your Majesty. 1350 01:26:30,917 --> 01:26:32,333 I just know everything will happen 1351 01:26:32,500 --> 01:26:34,875 in the way I expected it to happen. 1352 01:26:35,083 --> 01:26:37,750 So I came back and saved His Majesty and Her Highness. 1353 01:26:37,917 --> 01:26:39,250 Royal Dog, you are brilliant. 1354 01:26:39,375 --> 01:26:40,417 Thanks. 1355 01:26:40,750 --> 01:26:42,750 What the hell. 1356 01:26:49,250 --> 01:26:50,292 That's your mom 1357 01:26:50,708 --> 01:26:51,500 and your dad. 1358 01:26:51,708 --> 01:26:54,167 It is. 1359 01:26:56,792 --> 01:26:57,625 You are my buddy. 1360 01:26:57,917 --> 01:27:00,792 Lord Unicorn is a good fighter. 1361 01:27:01,750 --> 01:27:02,750 God-father. 1362 01:27:03,042 --> 01:27:05,708 There's nothing special about them. 1363 01:27:05,875 --> 01:27:07,958 You knew everything now, so what? 1364 01:27:08,250 --> 01:27:09,875 Can you beat us? 1365 01:27:11,208 --> 01:27:12,625 Your Highness. 1366 01:27:14,250 --> 01:27:15,875 So what?! 1367 01:27:22,375 --> 01:27:23,833 How dare you hit Her Highness! 1368 01:27:34,458 --> 01:27:36,542 You have to fight me then. 1369 01:27:36,708 --> 01:27:37,792 Okay. 1370 01:27:39,042 --> 01:27:41,375 My dear future son-in-law, you'll lose 1371 01:27:41,542 --> 01:27:42,708 Please leave with His Majesty. 1372 01:27:42,833 --> 01:27:43,500 Okay. 1373 01:27:43,625 --> 01:27:44,750 So cold blooded! 1374 01:28:08,250 --> 01:28:09,500 -You... -Painful? 1375 01:28:11,625 --> 01:28:13,958 Hey, you have an extra hole on your ass... 1376 01:28:14,167 --> 01:28:15,125 Why don't you surrender? 1377 01:28:15,333 --> 01:28:16,958 I have been practicing martial arts for years. 1378 01:28:17,333 --> 01:28:20,292 Don't you think I have a master move? 1379 01:28:20,625 --> 01:28:22,125 Watch it carefully. 1380 01:28:22,375 --> 01:28:23,750 My master move. 1381 01:28:25,125 --> 01:28:26,583 Run for my life. 1382 01:28:31,958 --> 01:28:33,875 Your Majesty... 1383 01:28:34,083 --> 01:28:36,292 I just pretended to be on their side... 1384 01:28:36,542 --> 01:28:38,125 so as to expose and apprehend them. 1385 01:28:38,333 --> 01:28:41,583 Will Your Majesty be so kind as to take me back? 1386 01:28:41,792 --> 01:28:43,875 Please forgive me. 1387 01:28:44,125 --> 01:28:45,500 Take you back? 1388 01:28:45,625 --> 01:28:46,792 I can, but... 1389 01:28:46,958 --> 01:28:48,125 Forgive you? 1390 01:28:48,625 --> 01:28:49,417 No way. 1391 01:28:49,583 --> 01:28:50,250 Guards! 1392 01:28:50,500 --> 01:28:52,333 Beat him up... 1393 01:29:13,708 --> 01:29:14,792 It's my turn. 1394 01:29:33,583 --> 01:29:34,958 If you are gentlemen and play fair... 1395 01:29:35,208 --> 01:29:38,083 Then fight me one on one like a man. 1396 01:29:40,375 --> 01:29:41,833 We are not gentlemen and, 1397 01:29:42,042 --> 01:29:43,417 we won't play fair. 1398 01:29:48,250 --> 01:29:50,292 Piggy Shooting star! 1399 01:29:55,458 --> 01:29:56,750 Done. 1400 01:30:06,833 --> 01:30:08,625 Thank you, parents-in-law. 1401 01:30:08,833 --> 01:30:10,250 You'd better go for late supper. 1402 01:30:10,750 --> 01:30:12,875 Okay... 1403 01:30:17,875 --> 01:30:19,875 What is this? 1404 01:30:28,417 --> 01:30:29,542 Try this. 1405 01:30:41,917 --> 01:30:44,333 Nothing to hit. 1406 01:30:45,750 --> 01:30:48,250 Yeah, I don't have. 1407 01:31:01,792 --> 01:31:04,708 I jumped too high and scared the hell out of myself. 1408 01:31:04,958 --> 01:31:07,750 Mighty Icy Palm! 1409 01:31:08,250 --> 01:31:10,375 Powerful Fire ball! 1410 01:31:18,792 --> 01:31:19,750 You still want to fight me? 1411 01:31:19,958 --> 01:31:22,625 Alright, I will burn you into BBQ pork. 1412 01:31:28,125 --> 01:31:29,375 BBQ Me? 1413 01:31:31,042 --> 01:31:33,250 Do you think my hand is BBQ meat? 1414 01:31:36,833 --> 01:31:38,292 Fire kick! 1415 01:31:38,750 --> 01:31:40,250 Honey, watch out. 1416 01:31:41,875 --> 01:31:45,333 Mighty Fire wheel! 1417 01:31:45,708 --> 01:31:47,250 Fire wheel? 1418 01:31:52,042 --> 01:31:55,750 Honey, that's enough, it wouldn't be suitable for children if you keep doing that. 1419 01:31:58,625 --> 01:31:59,875 Lucky I did not burn you alive. 1420 01:32:01,625 --> 01:32:04,250 Shit! It's burnt. 1421 01:32:07,625 --> 01:32:09,750 My last move. 1422 01:32:10,125 --> 01:32:11,167 Last move? 1423 01:32:11,375 --> 01:32:13,833 Lightning drill! 1424 01:32:18,542 --> 01:32:19,875 Where's he gone? 1425 01:32:23,542 --> 01:32:25,833 Lightning drill is awesome. 1426 01:32:28,375 --> 01:32:29,625 Honey, are you okay? 1427 01:32:29,875 --> 01:32:31,083 I can't pull my hand out. 1428 01:32:32,625 --> 01:32:37,375 Want to ruin my face? I have drilled through the armour 1429 01:32:44,417 --> 01:32:46,500 There's only one bullet in a pistol. 1430 01:32:46,708 --> 01:32:49,833 If you can't kill me with the one and only bullet, you will be dead. 1431 01:32:49,958 --> 01:32:52,542 Well, then...Run! 1432 01:33:01,458 --> 01:33:04,583 Let's see if my machine gun can kill you or not. 1433 01:33:04,792 --> 01:33:06,958 See my new invention. 1434 01:33:07,208 --> 01:33:10,333 The perfect machine gun. Always hits the target! 1435 01:33:11,792 --> 01:33:13,625 What's this? 1436 01:33:28,958 --> 01:33:31,083 Honey, you are so cool. 1437 01:33:31,625 --> 01:33:32,917 Really? 1438 01:33:35,250 --> 01:33:40,625 I don't deserve to be killed by guys like you. 1439 01:33:41,333 --> 01:33:43,417 You deserve to die, right? 1440 01:33:51,083 --> 01:33:52,458 Again? 1441 01:33:59,083 --> 01:34:01,583 What can you do to me? 1442 01:34:06,042 --> 01:34:10,375 Really? l jump... 1443 01:34:11,333 --> 01:34:11,958 It's done. 1444 01:34:14,625 --> 01:34:18,458 Royal Tiger! Attention! 1445 01:34:18,750 --> 01:34:19,833 Your Majesty 1446 01:34:20,750 --> 01:34:22,958 I will make you the Head of all Royal Secret Guards. 1447 01:34:23,208 --> 01:34:24,542 Stay by me 24 hours per day, 7 days per week. 1448 01:34:24,792 --> 01:34:25,958 Thanks, Your Majesty. 1449 01:34:26,125 --> 01:34:27,708 And I will make you my son-in-law! 1450 01:34:27,958 --> 01:34:30,708 Let's pick a good day for you to marry Princess Rainbow. 1451 01:34:36,917 --> 01:34:37,958 Well... 1452 01:34:38,167 --> 01:34:40,125 please help me. 1453 01:34:40,333 --> 01:34:43,083 No one would marry her except you. 1454 01:34:43,292 --> 01:34:44,583 Thanks, Your Majesty. 1455 01:34:44,708 --> 01:34:47,292 Clement! Clementine! Attention! 1456 01:34:47,833 --> 01:34:50,958 You two have saved me, I will grant you two the title of 1457 01:34:51,167 --> 01:34:53,958 The Glorious Couple. 1458 01:34:54,250 --> 01:34:57,083 You could travel throughout the country for free. 1459 01:34:57,292 --> 01:35:00,625 Royal Dog! Attention! 1460 01:35:00,875 --> 01:35:03,458 Your Majesty, he and my daughter 1461 01:35:03,708 --> 01:35:04,750 are already gone. 1462 01:35:10,833 --> 01:35:13,250 This is so romantic. 1463 01:35:13,750 --> 01:35:15,292 We will have lots of kids 1464 01:35:15,500 --> 01:35:17,708 on this kite. 1465 01:35:17,958 --> 01:35:20,583 Faithfull, I know you are horny. 1466 01:35:20,750 --> 01:35:22,583 But I spent lots of money in making this kite. 1467 01:35:22,750 --> 01:35:24,917 If it is damaged, I can't afford to make another one. 1468 01:35:25,125 --> 01:35:27,500 Unless I can get a few more sponsors... 1469 01:35:27,750 --> 01:35:28,500 then we can do whatever you want on this kite. 1470 01:35:28,625 --> 01:35:29,958 Come and take a look. 1471 01:35:30,042 --> 01:35:31,583 Royal Dog loves Girlie's Red Wine and Old Man Pizza. 1472 01:35:31,625 --> 01:35:33,583 No need to look. 1473 01:35:33,625 --> 01:35:35,125 Faithfull is using MJ skin care products. 1474 01:35:42,042 --> 01:35:43,792 Royal Dog. 1475 01:35:44,417 --> 01:35:46,417 What? Ninja again? 1476 01:35:51,542 --> 01:35:52,583 You are... 1477 01:35:52,792 --> 01:35:54,917 It's me, Gemini. 1478 01:35:55,083 --> 01:35:57,292 Faithfull, he is such a nice guy... 1479 01:35:57,583 --> 01:35:59,542 I won't let you have him so easily. 1480 01:35:59,792 --> 01:36:02,625 Royal Dog, I fancy you so much. 1481 01:36:03,917 --> 01:36:05,167 Looks good. 1482 01:36:05,417 --> 01:36:06,625 Don't look! 1483 01:36:07,125 --> 01:36:08,167 Wanna steal my hubby? 1484 01:36:08,333 --> 01:36:09,750 I am gonna kill you. 96682

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.