All language subtitles for Mr..Jealousy.1997.720p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE
BY BMG VIDEO

Narrator:
WHEN LESTER GRIMM WAS 15,

HE WENT ON HIS FIRST DATE
WITH A CLASSMATE NAMED PAULINA.

THEY SAW THE RULES OF THE GAME
BY JEAN RENOIR...

AND ATE AT A NICE ITALIAN
RESTAURANT IN THE VILLAGE.

LESTER PAID
WITH HIS OWN ALLOWANCE.

AND WHEN IT CAME TIME
FOR THE GOOD NIGHT KISS...

HE DIDN'T HAVE THE NERVE
TO DO ANYTHING.

2 MORE DATES OF
A SIMILAR NATURE FOLLOWED.

AND THEN,
AT A CLASSMATE'S PARTY,

LESTER FOUND HER KISSING
A 24-YEAR-OLD CLUB PROMOTER.

THIS INCIDENT,
BEING LESTER'S FIRST REAL
ROMANTIC EXPERIENCE,

HAD A DEEP IMPACT ON HIM.

SUBSEQUENT GIRLFRIENDS
WERE SUBJECTED TO
INFORMAL INQUIRIES

CONCERNING THEIR FIDELITY,

OR EVEN MORE DISTURBING,
THEIR PAST BEFORE HIM,

WITHOUT HIM.

...REALIZE PEOPLE
ARE LAUGHING AT E
BECAUSE...

IN COLLEGE, SENIOR YEAR,

LESTER'S GIRLFRIEND
OF 9 MONTHS, ARIANA,

ENJOYED COMPARING LESTER
TO HER PREVIOUS LOVER.

NOT SO MUCH OBSESSED
AS CURIOUS--

THAT WAS HIS DISTINCTION--

LESTER FOLLOWED ARIANA'S
EX-BOYFRIEND AROUND

FOR SEVERAL NIGHTS.

LESTER HID IN BUSHES,
DUCKED BEHIND POLES

AS IF HE WERE A PRIVATE
DETECTIVE SHADOWING A SUSPECT.

THE INVESTIGATION
UNCOVERED NOTHING,

AND HIS GIRLFRIEND LEFT HIM
BECAUSE HE WAS NEVER AROUND.

LESTER BLAMED PAULINA.

BUT GIRLS MATURE QUICKER
THAN BOYS, HE'D BEEN TOLD.

HI, SCOTT.

AND THEN THERE WAS RAMONA.

WAIT, HOLD ON A SECOND.
THAT'S THE OTHER LINE.

HELLO?

WHEN RAMONA HAD TIME
TO ASSESS HER LIFE,

SHE SAW HERSELF AS ONE OF
THOSE GIRLS YOU READ ABOUT
IN FAIRY TALES

WHO SAVES WOUNDED BIRDS
OR TAKES IN HOMELESS PEOPLE
AROUND THE HOLIDAYS.

OF COURSE, SHE WOULDN'T DO
ANYTHING OF SORT.

BUT SHE DID HAVE TROUBLE
SAYING NO,

AND AS A RESULT,
WOUNDED FRIENDS CALLED HER,

AND SHE TOOK ON
MORE THAN SHE COULD HANDLE.

UM...HELLO?

SCOTT.

OK. OK.

ALL RIGHT. BYE.

HELLO?

WHO--WHO'S THIS?

JENNIE!

Narrator: THIS IS THE STORY
OF LESTER AND RAMONA,

AND HERE'S HOW IT ALL BEGAN.

SIMPLE ENOUGH.

VINCE AND LUCRETIA,
RECENTLY ENGAGED

AND FEELING GENEROUS
WITH LOVE,

DECIDED TO INTRODUCE
2 OF THEIR FRIENDS.

Vince: I THINK SHE LOOKS
MORE LIKE HIM

THAN HE LOOKS LIKE HER.

A-AHEM.

I'M SHY. ARE YOU SHY?

THEY WENT ON DATES.

LESTER, WHO HAD MORE THAN
A PASSING INTEREST IN FILM,

TOOK HER TO REVIVALS.

AND RAMONA TOOK HIM
TO ART EXHIBITS.

SHE WAS A TOUR GUIDE
AT THE BROOKLYN MUSEUM

AND GETTING HER Ph.D. IN
ABSTRACT EXPRESSIONISM
AT COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY.

ON THEIR SECOND
OR THIRD DATE,

NEITHER ONE COULD
REMEMBER EXACTLY,

THEY ENDED UP AT A RESTAURANT
BOTH SWORE THE OTHER
HAD RECOMMENDED.

ARE YOU SURE?
'CAUSE I THOUGHT
YOU HAD BEEN HERE.

LESTER HAD A STRONG FEELING
ABOUT RAMONA,

AND HE MADE A REAL EFFORT
NOT TO FALL BACK INTO
OLD PATTERNS.

HE EVEN WENT OUT WITH HER
AND AN EX-BOYFRIEND, CURT,

WHOM SHE'D REMAINED
FRIENDS WITH.

IT WAS EASIER THAN HE'D
EXPECTED NOT TO IMAGINE
THE 2 OF THEM IN BED TOGETHER.

THEY BECAME A TEAM,
LESTER AND RAMONA.

RAMONA TAUGHT HIM A WHISTLE
THAT THEY'D USE AT PARTIES.

♪♪

♪♪

Narrator:
BUT I'M GETTING AHEAD OF MYSELF.

LET'S GO BACK TO BROOKLYN
FOR THEIR FIRST DATE.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE
WHEN YOU GROW UP,
LESTER?

I...TEACH NOW.

WELL, STARTING
TOMORROW, I TEACH.

WHAT DO YOU TEACH?

A LOT OF THINGS.

I'M A SUB, ACTUALLY.

GROSS.

YEAH, EVERYONE
HATES A SUB,

ESPECIALLY
AT NEW UTRECHT
HIGH SCHOOL.

OH, I WENT OUT
WITH A GUY
AT NEW UTRECHT.

MARK OSINS. WEIRD.

I WENT TO MIDWOOD.

I TRIED TO WRITE.
I DID WRITE, BUT,
UH, I DIDN'T WANT TO

GET CAUGHT UP WITH,
YOU KNOW, ALL THE
POLITICS.

ALREADY ON YOUR
THIRD CAREER. WOW.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO
IF I BIT YOUR FACE
RIGHT NOW, SUDDENLY?

UH, HA...
I DON'T KNOW.

I...I GUESS I'D
BE IN PAIN.

SO WHERE'S
YOUR ACCENT,
BROOKLYN GIRL?

IT DISAPPEARED.

NO ACCENT, HUH?
THAT'S A SHAME.

I HATE IT WHEN
PEOPLE DON'T LIVE
UP TO THEIR
STEREOTYPE.

LESTER SOAKED IN RAMONA'S
ENVIRONMENT:

OBJECTS, STYLES HE IMAGINED
EX-BOYFRIENDS BROUGHT IN

AND THEN DROPPED OFF
ON THEIR WAY THROUGH HER LIFE.

IF HE DISAPPEARED TODAY,
HE WONDERED,

WHAT EVIDENCE OF HIS PERSONALITY
MIGHT HE LEAVE BEHIND?

BUT RIGHT THEN AND THERE,
HE DIDN'T WANT TO GO ANYWHERE.

I HEARD THIS WAS
GOOD.

I READ SOMEWHERE.
SOMEBODY SAID
THIS WAS GOOD.

IT'S OK. THE BOOK.
YOU KNOW, I MEAN,

BUT ALL THIS
NEW YORK TIMES
HE'S THE VOICE

OF OUR GENERATION CRAP
IS RIDICULOUS.

HE'S YOUNG?

UH, YEAH.
HE'S OUR AGE.

MY AGE. MY AGE.

HE'S...30.
I THINK.

YOU'RE WHAT?

18.

OH, MY GOD.

NO, I'M 30.

31. SORRY. WHEW.

AND HE'S OUR AGE? WOW.

I CAN'T BELIEVE I THOUGHT
YOU WERE 18.

I'M SO GULLIBLE.
I'M ALSO TERRIBLE
AT TELLING AGE.

I MEAN, YOU KNOW,
HE'S NOT THE VOICE
OF MY GENERATION.

HE'S FROM SOMEWHERE
ELSE IN AMERICA,

LIKE I WANNA SAY
MICHIGAN,

MIDDLE CLASS, UH,
WENT TO CORNELL.

AND NOW HE WRITES
THIS BOOK ABOUT
YOUNG MANHATTANITES.

CORNELL.

HMM. BUT, YOU KNOW,
I'M BIASED BECAUSE

I WENT OUT WITH HIM
FOR A YEAR.

MORE POWER TO HIM.

BEER?

THANKS.

ANYWAY, IT WAS
MY FIRST YEAR
OUTTA COLLEGE,

AND HE WAS STILL
STRUGGLING WRITING
HIS FIRST STORIES...

Narrator:
FUNNY HOW PEOPLE LIKE TO FLIRT
BY MENTIONING THEIR PAST LOVERS,

LESTER THOUGHT.

IT ACTUALLY WASN'T
THAT FUNNY AT ALL,

BUT THESE WERE CLEVER
GETTING-TO-KNOW-YOU STORIES,

STORIES THAT WEREN'T REALLY
ABOUT ANYTHING BUT ACTED AS
TIME FILLERS

SO THAT MAYBE THEY COULD
FALL IN LOVE.

ISN'T THAT FUNNY?
I THINK THAT'S FUNNY.

THAT'S GREAT.

RAMONA.

THAT'S A...

REAL ROCK 'N'
ROLL NAME.

RAMONA.

YEAH.

[GIGGLES]

I THINK...
WE ALL NEED THERAPY.

THAT'S MY NEW THING.

VINCE IS ON THIS
THERAPY KICK.

HE RECOMMENDS IT
TO EVERYONE EVEN
THOUGH HE'S NOT BEEN
IN IT HIMSELF.

Lester:
HE COULD USE IT.

IF I HAD THE TIME
OR THE MONEY,
I'D DO IT.

HE TOLD MY FATHER
TO GET THERAPY.

YEAH. HE TOOK IT
LIKE IT WAS AN INSULT.

IT'S A COMPLIMENT.
IT MEANS I SEE YOUR
CRAZINESS, AND IT CAN
BE HELPED.

MY DAD DOESN'T WANT
ANY HELP WITH HIS
CRAZINESS,

AND HE'D RATHER
YOU DIDN'T SEE IT,
EITHER.

VINCE, I'M STARVING.
WHAT ARE YOU GETTING?

CHEESEBURGER
DELUXE, KID.

I THOUGHT YOU SAID
YOU WERE ON A DIET.

I ON A DIET. I--

WHAT KINDA DIET?

THE--THE--I GOT THAT
ON THE FRIDGE, THE MEALS
I'M ALLOWED TO EAT.

DO NOT COMPLAIN
TO ME ABOUT YOUR
BODY ANYMORE, OK?

ALL RIGHT, LOOK,
NOT--

I DON'T WANT
TO HEAR IT!

THIS IS THE WRONG--
THIS IS NOT THE
BEST PLACE.

Narrator: THE COUPLES WERE
JOINED BY THEIR FRIEND, LINT.

I'M STILL CONFUSED.
COULDN'T READ THE SUBTITLE
OVER THAT JERK'S HEAD!

WAS HE HER FATHER OR--

HE WAS THE FATHER!

I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU WOULDN'T STOP
LOOKING AT HER.

SHE'S THE LEAD
IN THE FILM.
SHE'S IN PRACTICALLY
EVERY SCENE.

Lester: I HAD TO PEE
FOR THE LAST HALF HOUR.

SWEETHEART,
YOU'RE IMAGINING--

Lucretia: I MEAN,
IF YOU WANT TO BE
WITH AN ACTRESS...

IS THAT SO? HA HA.

YEAH. AND I THINK
IT'S SO MUCH MORE EROTIC

IF THEY FILM SOMEBODY
IN JUST A BRA
OR JUST UNDERWEAR.

I THINK THAT
THE SUGGESTION OF SEX
IS MUCH HOTTER THAN
THE REAL THING.

REALLY? I FIND
I PREFER TO SEE
BARE BREASTS.

I THINK IT'S
MUCH MORE EROTIC

TO SHOW PEOPLE
AS NAKED AS
POSSIBLE.

OH, REALLY,
IS THAT SO?
AS NAKED AS POSSIBLE.

AS NAKED AS POSSIBLE
AND PREFERABLY IN
SOME COMPROMISING
POSITION.

OH, MY GOD!

MONA?

WHAT A SURPRISE!

HI!

HI!

WHA--HA!

GOD!

DO YOU LIVE
DOWN HERE?

NO, UH, SHE DOES.
SHE DOES.

UH, LOIS, LOIS, MONA.
LOIS. UM...

LESTER.

Ramona: OH!

GOD!

MAN, STEPHEN...

HI.
HI.

I WAS JUST THINKING
ABOUT YOU THE OTHER DAY.

I CAN'T REMEMBER
IN WHAT CONTEXT.

WHA-HA HA!

UH, SO, ANYWAY,

UM...

YEAH. HA HA HA HA!

WELL, I DUNNO.
AHEM.

YOU LOOK...
BEAUTIFUL.

THANKS.

AHEM.

WE WERE JUST COMING
FROM THE MOVIES.

THAT'S WHERE
WE'RE HEADED.

I THINK WE'RE LATE.
UM, IS IT ANY GOOD?

UH, WHICH ONE
ARE YOU GONNA
SEE?

I THINK WE JUST MISSED
THE FRENCH ONE, SO WE
CAN CATCH THE AMERICAN
INDEPENDENT. GOOD?

GREAT.
NOT ONE OF
HIS BETTER ONES.

GREAT. NO, SOUNDS GREAT!DID YOU SEE,
UH...

WELL...GUESS WE
GOTTA BOOGIE!

SO, IT'S GOOD
TO SEE YOU, MONA.

IT'S GOOD
TO SEE YOU, TOO!

NICE MEETING YOU, UM...

LESTER.

Ramona: OH...

SO WEIRD!

I DIDN'T TELL HIM
HE LOOKED GOOD.

SHOULD I HAVE?

Narrator:
LESTER GRITTED HIS TEETH.

RAMONA HAD A LIFE
BEFORE HIM.

LET'S GO. COME ON.

I THINK HE KNOWS
THAT HE LOOKS GOOD.

HEY, LESTER?

HEY, LESTER...

HEY, RAMONA.

TONIGHT...LET'S JUST
HAVE THE SUGGESTION
OF SEX.

NO NUDITY.

HMM?

HMM...

HMM...

DASHIELL IS SPECIAL.

STEPHEN WAS STEPHEN,
YOU KNOW?

HE'S THE ONLY
OLDER GUY
I EVER DATED.

HE WAS VERY SMART.
NO MESSAGES.

AND HE TAUGHT
LATIN AMERICAN
LITERATURE. PUPPY.

HE USED TO TAKE
ME OUT SALSA DANCING
WHICH I LOVED.

I KNOW YOU LIKE
TO READ, SO, AND
YOU WERE LOOKING
AT MINE,

AND IT'S GOOD.
IF YOU CAN GET BY
ALL THE TRENDY
ASPECTS OF IT,

IT'S REALLY GOOD.

THANKS.

HA HA.

Narrator:
"EXHILARATING.
A COMIC TOUR-DE-FORCE.

"POWERFUL AND ORIGINAL.

"A GRAND WORK.

THAT A VOICE SO MATURE
COULD COME FROM A VOICE
SO YOUNG."

WHAT WOULD YOU DO...

IF I CAME OVER
TO YOU RIGHT NOW
AND KICKED YOU
IN THE HEAD?

[LAUGHS]
UM, I'D...

PROBABLY GRAB
MY HEAD IN AGONY?

ASK YOU TO LEAVE?
I DON'T--

I DON'T KNOW.

THOSE YOUR PLAYS?

MM-HMM.

[THUMPING]

WHAT'S THAT?

OH, THERE'S A VET
NEXT DOOR.

OH...YIKES.

DO YOU EVER GET JEALOUS!

[LOUD
CLATTERING]

OW! OW!

I'M FINE.

DON'T WORRY.

I'M FINE.

DO YOU--DO YOU GET JEALOUS?

UH, NO.

NO, NOT REALLY.

I MEAN, I'VE BEEN
SUSCEPTIBLE TO...

MOST OF THE OTHER
DEADLY SINS,
BUT NOT JEALOUSY.

YEAH.

MR. ARBUSE,
THE GYM TEACHER,

HAD AN INFLAMED GILL
AND WAS HOSPITALIZED,

SO LESTER TOOK OVER
HIS CLASS.

FOUL!

GOOD TRY.
YOU TRIED.

LATER THAT DAY,
LESTER OPENED
AN ACCEPTANCE LETTER

TO THE REPUTABLE UNIVERSITY
OF IOWA GRADUATE
WRITING PROGRAM

THAT HE'D BEEN CARRYING
AROUND WITH HIM FOR DAYS.

HE'D APPLIED EARLIER
IN THE YEAR AND HAD
ALMOST FORGOTTEN ABOUT IT.

HE CHOSE TO HIDE IT.

HE DIDN'T WANT TO
GO BACK TO SCHOOL.

...A VERY GOOD
EXAMPLE

OF HIS FASCINATION
WITH NOT JUST
THE HUMAN BODY

BUT THE TERROR
AND THE LONELINESS

OF THE HUMAN
CONDITION.

THE FIGURE IS...
ALMOST FACELESS.

ALL YOU CAN SEE
ARE THE EYES
AND THE MOUTH.

SHE'S RIGHT.
ALL I CAN SEE ARE
THE EYES AND THE MOUTH.

THE EYES
AND THE MOUTH,

EXCEPT FOR I,
PERSONALLY, THINK
THAT THAT'S AN EAR.

BUT, YOU KNOW,
I'VE BEEN TOLD
THAT IT'S NOT AN EAR,

SO I GUESS EVERYBODY
ELSE IS RIGHT.

DOESN'T IT LOOK
LIKE AN EAR?

IT LOOKS
LIKE AN EAR.
AND...

Lester: VINCE, HAVE YOU READ
THIS GUY DASHIELL FRANK?

NO, UH,
LUCRETIA DID.

WELL, SHE HEARD IT
ON TAPE.

TOM CRUISE READS IT.

SHE LIKED IT.
IT'S ALL ABOUT PEOPLE
OUR AGE.

RAMONA WENT OUT
WITH HIM FOR A YEAR.

THAT POMPOUS,
LUCKY PUSS?

EXACTLY. SO WE CAN CUT

THE I HEARD THE BOOK'S
GOOD, HE WRITES ABOUT
PEOPLE OUR AGE BIT.

YEAH. WHAT AN ASS!

GIMMICKY,
PREDICTABLE BOOK.

HAVE YOU READ IT?

NO! BUT I KNOW
WHAT IT IS. YOU KNOW...

GIMMICKY.

CAN'T BE GOOD.
I WON'T HAVE IT.

YOU THINK PEOPLE
STILL SPIT IN
THE CREAM PITCHER?

YEAH.

OH, P-REALLY?

NO WAY!

YOU AND YOUR
SHELTERED LIVES.

OF COURSE PEOPLE SPIT
IN THE CREAM PITCHER.
WHY WOULDN'T THEY?

I'LL BET MY WRITING'S
MORE THE VOICE OF OUR
GENERATION THAN HIS.

MMM.

YOU STILL WRITING?

WELL, NOT RECENTLY,

BUT I'M READING
A LOT.

I WRITE LETTERS.

I--I READ...
A LOT.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

MY HEAD ITCHES,
OK?

WHY DO YOU CONSTANTLY
PARROT ME?

YOU KNOW, IF--

LISTEN, I...

I HAVE TO TELL YOU
GUYS SOMETHING.

JUST...DON'T JUDGE ME, OK?

THE OTHER DAY...

Narrator: AND LESTER RELAYED
THE EVENTS OF THAT DAY.

LESTER HAPPENED TO BE
WALKING IN THE VILLAGE

ONE WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON
AFTER HIS FIRST DENTIST
APPOINTMENT IN 3 YEARS,

AND WHO SHOULD HE SEE
BUT DASHIELL FRANK,

THAT AGGRAVATING
GENERATION-DEFINING WRITER.

DASHIELL WAS RECOGNIZABLE
FROM THE PICTURE ON THE BACK
OF HIS BOOK,

NUMEROUS MAGAZINE PROFILES,
TALK SHOWS, ETCETERA.

LESTER WATCHED.

AND LESTER FOLLOWED.

BECAUSE HE WAS GOING
THAT WAY ANYWAY, HE THOUGHT.

I MEAN, THAT WAS WHERE
THE SUBWAY WAS ANYWAY,
HE SAID TO HIMSELF.

WHAT KISMET.

I KNOW.

TOO BAD HE DISAPPEARED
SO SOON.

OH, I'D LOVE TO
FOLLOW

ONE OF LUCRETIA'S
EX-BOYFRIENDS AROUND.
BRIAN.

YEAH.

IT'S FUN JUST TO
FOLLOW PEOPLE
SOMETIMES.

ANYONE.

LET ME FINISH THE STORY.

A WEEK LATER, LESTER FOUND
HIMSELF BACK IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD

GETTING 2 TEETH FILLED.

AVOIDING THE DENTIST
FOR 3 YEARS WILL COME
TO HAUNT YOU.

HALF OF HIS FACE
NUMB WITH NOVOCAIN,

LESTER WATCHED AGAIN
AS THE GROUP FILED IN...

AND ONE HOUR LATER
EMPTIED OUT.

IT MUST BE NICE TO HAVE
A ROUTINE LIKE THIS

EVERY WEDNESDAY, LESTER THOUGHT.

A ROUTINE WAS SOMETHING
HE HADN'T HAD SINCE HE
QUIT HIS JOB.

LESTER JUST PLANNED TO GET
A GLIMPSE OF AN EMPTY
WAITING ROOM,

BUT TO HIS SURPRISE...

HELLO.

CAN I, UM...

HELP YOU?

UM...

A PATIENT HAD JUST LEFT
THE GROUP.

MANY OF THE MEMBERS
WERE NEW,

AND LESTER SEEMED
VERY SINCERE.

EXCUSE ME?

I JOINED DASHIELL...
RAMONA'S EX-BOYFRIEND'S

GROUP THERAPY.

OH, MY GOD.

NICE.

ONLY FOR
A SESSION OR TWO.

LISTEN, WHEN I SAID
WE ALL NEEDED THERAPY,

THIS IS NOT WHAT
I HAD IN MIND.

I DIDN'T PLAN IT.
IT WAS ACCIDENTAL.

HE JUST APPEARED
IN FRONT OF ME.
I DIDN'T ASK FOR IT.

WELL, I DON'T BELIEVE
IN GOD OR ANY OF
THOSE THINGS,

BUT IN THIS CASE
I'M GOING TO PRETEND
THAT I DO

SO I CAN ARGUE
THAT THE EX-BOYFRIEND
WAS PLACED IN FRONT OF YOU

TO TEST YOU,
AND YOU FAILED HUGELY!

HEY, I JUST WANTED TO SEE
WHAT THE GUY LOOKED LIKE,

AND THEN I SEE
WHERE HE'S GOING...

AND YOU JOINED
HIS GROUP THERAPY?
MY GOD, TO DO WHAT?

IT'S FOR HER...
TO FIND OUT ABOUT
WHAT SHE WAS LIKE,

HOW I CAN DO BETTER.

I'M--I'M--I'M NOT
GONNA SPEAK.

YOU'RE NOT
GONNA SPEAK.

NO.

WHAT DID YOU TELL
DR. POKE?

DR. POKE LIKED LESTER
IMMEDIATELY,

AND WHEN HE ASKED
HIS NAME...

WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

MY NAME IS, UH...

VINCE.

DR. POKE.

HOWARD POKE.

DR. POKE.

NICE.

YOU SAID YOU'D GO
IF YOU HAD THE TIME.

I--I COULDN'T GIVE
MY PERSONAL INFORMATION,

BECAUSE THEN THE WRITER'LL
FIND OUT ABOUT RAMONA.

SO I SAID I WAS YOU.

BUT DON'T WORRY.
I'M NOT GONNA TALK.

IT WAS JUST SO DR. POKE
WOULD LET ME IN.

I'M A SLIGHT BIT
FLABBERGASTED.

SO WHEN YOU GO TO
THERAPY NEXT WEEK,

THE GROUP CALLS YOU...

VINCE.

AND IF THEY ASK YOU
ABOUT YOUR PARENTS?

I'M NOT GONNA SPEAK.

IF THEY ASK YOU.

MARLON AND AMY.

AND WHEN DOES IT MEET?

MONDAYS AND WEDNESDAYS,
3:00-4:00.

SPEAK.

NO, NO, NO. DON'T WORRY.
I'M NOT GONNA SPEAK.

NO, DO, SPEAK, PLEASE.
IF YOU'RE GONNA DO IT,
GET SOME USE OUT OF IT.

FIND A FEW THINGS OUT
FOR ME.

NO, NO, NO, REALLY,
I DON'T PLAN ON
OPENING MY MOUTH.

PLEASE! OTHERWISE,
I FORBID YOU TO USE
MY NAME.

JUST SAY A FEW THINGS
FOR ME,

THEN AT LEAST MAYBE
WE CAN ALL LEARN
FROM THIS EXPERIENCE.

CAN I HAVE YOUR PICKLE?

Narrator:
RAMONA WAS THRILLED LESTER
HAD JOINED THERAPY.

SHE TOLD HIM
SHE WAS PROUD OF HIM

AND THEN ADMITTED
UP UNTIL A YEAR PREVIOUS,

SHE'D BEEN GOING
TO AN ANALYST TWICE A WEEK.

AND WHEN SHE ASKED FOR
THE ADDRESS OF THE OFFICE

IN CASE SHE WANTED TO MEET HIM
AFTER HER WORK,

HE DEFENSIVELY INVERTED
2 OF THE NUMBERS.

THE REAL ADDRESS
OF DR. POKE'S OFFICE
WAS 264 WEST 4th STREET.

RAMONA'S DAYS WERE AS
JAM PACKED AS EVER.

SHE EVEN BEGAN TO WONDER
IF HER BRAIN COULD HANDLE
ALL THE ACTIVITY.

SHE SAW A MATINEE WITH ARLISS
WHO'D RECENTLY DISCOVERED
HIS GIRLFRIEND WAS MARRIED.

ORIGINALLY
I WAS THINKING SHE
WOULDN'T LET ME OVER

BECAUSE YOU KNOW,
SHE WAS MESSY.

NOW I'M THINKING
IT'S 'CAUSE SHE'S
MARRIED.

AND THEN SHE WORKED OUT
FOR AN HOUR AND A HALF.

THEN OVER TO THE MUSEUM
BY 3:00

FOR THE FIRST
OF 5 TOURS.

AT A BREAK BETWEEN TOURS,
SHE WONDERED HOW THERAPY
WOULD GO FOR LESTER.

THIS ROOM IN HERE
HAS ONE OF MY
FAVORITE PAINTINGS.

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN
R. CRUMB AND THAT
CARTOON KIND OF
GROTESQUE IMAGES

THAT ARE LIKE, OH--
UM...[CHUCKLES]

HA HA HA HA!

OK, ACTUALLY,

IT'S ACTUALLY DOWN HERE.

RECENTLY, MARIA HAD BEEN GOING
THROUGH A PARTICULARLY
OBSESSIVE PERIOD

AND HAD BEEN
DOMINATING SESSIONS.

IF I RUB IT AGAINST
HER SOFT PALATE...

PROCEDURE OF THE GROUP
WAS AS SUCH:

WHOEVER'S PROBLEMS SEEMED
THE MOST IMMEDIATE WOULD START.

PEOPLE WERE THEN ENCOURAGED
TO INTERRUPT AND OFFER ADVICE
OR CENSURE,

WHICHEVER SEEMED APPROPRIATE.

Maria: I COULD--
I COULD SPOT HIM...

[MARIA CONTINUES TALKING]

Narrator: AS SOON AS LESTER
SET FOOT IN THE ROOM,

HE REGRETTED EVERYTHING.

IT WAS A CRAZY IDEA.
WHAT DID HE EXPECT TO LEARN?

TWICE HE THOUGHT OF
GETTING UP AND RUNNING OUT.

BUT HE DIDN'T MOVE.

HE'D MADE A COMMITMENT
TO DR. POKE...AND TO VINCE.

ANY THOUGHTS, VINCE?

VINCE?

AH...

UM...

IN A FEW MONTHS,

I'M--I'M MARRYING
MY GIRLFRIEND...

LUCRETIA.

UH, SHE INITIATED
THE IDEA,

BUT I...I'M STARTING
TO WARM UP TO IT.

UH...

I'D--I'D TELL MY FRIEND
LESTER

ABOUT LUCRETIA AND ME,
ALL THE DETAILS.

FOR INSTANCE,
A FIGHT LUCRETIA AND I HAD--

I WAS AN HOUR LATE
FOR A DATE,

SO SHE...

PUSHED OUR STOVE
DOWN THE STAIRS.

THIS--THIS TOOK
AN HOUR AND 45 MINUTES.

IT WAS A VERY...HEAVY
STOVE.

SOMETIMES I GET THE FEELING
THAT LESTER DOESN'T WANT ME
TO GET MARRIED.

I MEAN, I TELL HIM
THAT I'M NOT SO SURE
ABOUT IT MYSELF,

BUT I THINK HE FEELS
I'M NOT QUITE READY
FOR THAT KIND OF--

SOUNDS TO ME LIKE
THIS LESTER MIGHT BE
SORT OF SUFFOCATING.

HE OBVIOUSLY WANTS YOU
TO DO THE SAME THING
HE DOES, AND THAT'S
NOT FOR YOU.

WELL, AH...

I THINK HIS FRANKNESS
IS--IS APPRECIATED.

SURE, HE MAY NOT BE
AS FAR ALONG IN LIFE
AS HE'D LIKE,

BUT HE'S VERY, UM...
SMART,

AND I THINK THAT
GOOD THINGS WILL
HAPPEN FOR HIM.

[DISGUSTED
GRUNT] UGH...

I HOPE.

THOSE FRIENDSHIPS
THAT ARE BASED ON

WHEN YOU WERE DIFFERENT;
YOUNGER PEOPLE CAN OFTEN
BE DEBILITATING.

FROM WHAT YOU SAY,WELL, I--

HE ENJOYS HEARING YOU
COMPLAIN, AND YOU ENJOY
DOING IT...

BUT THEN NOTHING
COMES OF IT.

WELL, WHAT ARE YOU
TRYING--

I HATE SEEING MEN
GETTING INTO THOSE
SITUATIONS

WHERE ALL THEY DO
IS PROMOTE ONE ANOTHER'S
INSECURITIES.

ARE YOU GONNA MARRY
LUCRETIA AND START A LIFE,

OR ARE YOU GONNA
STAY WITH YOUR FRIENDS
CALLING EACH OTHER KID?

ISN'T THAT WHAT
YOU SAID YOU CALLED THEM?MY TAKE ON TH--

KIDS?

YEAH. WE CALL
EACH OTHER KIDS.

TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS.
YOU LOVE LUCRETIA,
RIGHT?

YES. I--

LOVE HER.

I LOVE LUCRETIA.

WELL,
THAT SETTLES IT.

AND LESTDOESN'T
WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY.

OH, NO, NO, NO,
NO. HE DOES.

YOU JUST SAID
HE DIDN'T.

WILL YOU LET ME AIR
A LITTLE UNCERTAINTY?

HE'S MY BEST FRIEND.
HE GIVES ME GOOD
ADVICE.

[SARCASTICALLY]
BEST.

AND IT'S...SELFLESS,
AND HE CARES ABOUT ME.

HOW DARE YOU SUGGEST
ANYTHING ELSE?

I AM JUST RESPONDING
TO WHAT YOU SAY TO ME.

WELL, READ BETWEEN
THE LINES.

JEEZ!

Maria: CAN I SAY
WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY NOW?

THAT NIGHT, AFTER GROUP,
LESTER WAS PREOCCUPIED.

HAVING DASHIELL
IN FRONT OF HIM,

CONFIRMING THAT THE EX
WAS INDEED AN EXISTING
HUMAN BEING,

TURNED LESTER'S THOUGHTS
TO DARKER THINGS.

LESTER COULD ONLY BRING
HIMSELF TO GLANCE AT THE BOOK,

TO READ A LITTLE
AT A TIME.

THE FIRST STORY,
THE SENSUALIST,

WAS ABOUT A YOUNG WRITER
FROM THE MIDWEST

WHO, UPON MOVING TO MANHATTAN,
DATED A WOMAN FROM BROOKLYN.

SOUNDED FAMILIAR.
LESTER READ A LITTLE FURTHER,

AND THEN HIS EYES BEGAN TO
DRIFT AWAY FROM THE PAGE
AND INTO HIS OWN MIND.

THERE WERE THINGS
DISTINCTLY RAMONA-LIKE

ABOUT THE CHARACTER CHARLOTTE.

BROOKLYN-BORN,
THE INDISCRIMINATE TOUCHING,

THE PASSION FOR LEARNING.

BUT OTHER DETAILS...
CHARLOTTE'S INTEREST
IN THEATER...

RAMONA DIDN'T FOLLOW THEATER
AS FAR AS LESTER KNEW.

CHARLOTTE WAS NOT TALKATIVE.
RAMONA SAID WHAT CAME
TO HER MIND.

[BUZZER]

YEAH?

Ramona: HEY,
IT'S ME.

SO ANYWAYS, HE WAS
GOING ON AND ON--

IT'S CORY HALL.
REMEMBER I TOLD YOU
THIS STORY?

SO THIS KILLED.
I GO UP TO HIM,
LITERALLY, AND I SAY,

ONE SOLITARY SWALLOW

DOES NOT MAKE A SUMMER.

THAT PRETTY MUCH
SHUT HIM UP.

Lint: WHAT?

VINCE OFTEN KNOCKS
ON THE DOOR OF
PROFUNDITY

AND RUNS AWAY.

OH!

LESTER'S IN THERAPY.

OH, WOW!

THAT'S GREAT!

HEY! WOW!

HOW ABOUT THAT?
GOOD FOR YOU.

Lucretia:
ARE YOU FEELING ANY
DIFFERENT, LESTER?

IT'S STILL...
IT'S PRETTY EARLY ON.

REALLY GOOD, MAN.
IT'S TERRIFIC.

GOOD FOR YOU, LESTER.
MY MAN.

DON'T GET ANY
IDEAS, VINCE.
WE CAN'T AFFORD IT.

OH, NO, NO, NO, NO.
NOT ME.

NO, IT'S GOOD FOR YOU.

LESTER.

A-NUMBER ONE.

Narrator: LESTER NECESSARILY HAD
TO CENSOR HIS REPORT TO VINCE.

THAT'S IT?

ALL THEY--
ALL THEY SAY IS
I SHOULD BE CAREFUL

GETTING MARRIED,
MAKE SURE
I'M CERTAIN?

YEAH, WELL, YOU DON'T
WANT TO MAKE YOUR
PARENTS' MISTAKES.

JUST...BE MORE
CONFIDENT.

IT SOUNDS TO ME
LIKE YOU'RE NOT REALLY

REPRESENTING ME
ALL THAT WELL.

BELIEVE ME--

LIKE YOU'RE MAKING ME
SOUND TOO SANE.

HEY, I'M MAKING YOU
AS SICK AS POSSIBLE.

IT'S TOUGH, THOUGH.
THESE THINGS
TAKE TIME.

YOU CAN'T EXPECT
A [SNAP] CHANGE
OVERNIGHT.

YEAH, WELL,
IT'D BE NICE.

[WOMEN LAUGH]

UH, HOW ABOUT
THE WRITER?

DOES HE HAVE
ATTITUDE?

HE'S A PRICK.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?

YEAH, BOY, FAME.

WELL, I GUESS
IT'S NICE TO KNOW
HE'S LIKE US,

PUTS HIS PANTS ON
ONE LEG AT A TIME...

HOW MANY WOMEN
HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH?

OH, I--I DON'T
KNOW EXACTLY.

OH, COME ON.
OF COURSE YOU KNOW.

WE USED TO MAKE
LISTS TOGETHER.

WE JUST HAVEN'T
TALKED ABOUT THIS
IN A WHILE.

YEAH, BECAUSE
WE'RE ADULTS NOW.

WE'RE ALL SUPPOSED
TO JUST ASSUME

WE'VE SLEPT WITH THE
SAME NUMBER OF PEOPLE--
THE ADULT NUMBER.

SO YOU'RE UP TO,
WHAT, 6?

I HATE THIS GAME.
NOT HERE.

THIS IS NOT A GAME.
WE'RE HAVING
A CONVERSATION.

I--OH.I NEED A BUCK.

Lint: JUST GIVE HER
THE WALLET.

JUST GIVE ME
THE WHOLE WALLET,
TIGHT ASS.

[WHISTLES]
♪♪

♪♪

THANKS.

PLEASE DON'T
LET'S DO THIS.

5 OR 6.
I DON'T KNOW.
I'VE BEEN CHOOSY.

I'M ONLY AT...14,

AND THAT'S IF YOU COUNT
MYRNA LEAHY.

I THINK RAMONA'S
UP TO, UH...

CLOSE TO...20...5.

I TRY TO KEEP COUNT,
YOU KNOW, WHENEVER SHE
MENTIONS SOMEONE NEW.

THERE ARE 26 MEN
OUT THERE WHO FUCKED
MY GIRLFRIEND.

HEY, IT'S NOT
LIKE THAT.

OK. FINE.
THERE ARE 26 MEN

WHO HAVE MADE
TENDER LOVE
TO MY GIRLFRIEND.

I MEAN, BEING IN THERAPY
REALLY OPENS UP
THESE FEELINGS.

I'M TRYING TO
FIGURE SOMETHING OUT.

WHEN RAMONA THINKS OF
STEPHEN OR DASHIELL

OR...WHOMEVER...

AND IT'S ONLY NATURAL
THAT SHE'D THINK OF THEM...

THE TIMES THEY HAD,
POSITIONS THEY DID IT IN...

SHE HAS THE AFFAIR
ALL OVER AGAIN.

YEAH...

I THINK YOU'RE
TOUCHING ON
A DARKER AREA

THAT WE'RE NOT
SUPPOSED TO
THINK ABOUT...

LIKE OUR DEATH.

WHEN YOU BRING UP
THANKSGIVING,

MAKE SURE YOU MENTION
MY GRANDMOTHER
WAS DRUNK AGAIN.

SO I THINK
THIS WHOLE AREA

WAS ORIGINALLY ZONED FOR
THESE SORTS OF CLUBS.

OF COURSE, THERE WERE
7 OF THEM AT THE TIME.

Ramona:
YOU OK?

IRENE AND I HAD CHINESE
THE OTHER NIGHT,

AND SHE'D HEARD ME RECENTLY
ON NATIONAL PUBLIC RADIO,

AND THE INTERVIEWER
KEPT ASKING ME

HOW MANY OF MY STORIES
WERE AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL.

[SIGHS] THE GUY...
THE GUY ON THE RADIO,
MATT SOMETHING,

ASKED ABOUT ONE OF
THE SEX SCENES IN THE
STORY THE SENSUALIST--

A PARTICULARLY
EROTIC SCENE.

THE PROTAGONIST DOES IT
WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND
IN A PARTICULARLY...

WELL, I DON'T WANT TO
GET TOO SPECIFIC,
NOT HERE, BUT...

IT'S FAIRLY EXPERIMENTAL,

AND IT REALLY DID
UPSET IRENE.

AND SHE ASKED ME
IF IT WAS TRUE,
AND I SAID IT WASN'T.

IT WAS BASED ON MY LIFE,

BUT I SAID IT WASN'T.

BECAUSE I FELT BADLY,
I AGREED TO TAKE OUT
FROM THIS CHINESE PLACE
SHE LIKES.

BAD FOOD.
BUT...GOOD FORTUNES.

AND WHAT...BOTHERS YOU

ABOUT THAT?

IT'S PART OF YOUR PAST,
SOMETHING YOU WROTE ABOUT?

ALL OF IT.

I FEEL LIKE I'M NOT
A GOOD WRITER,

THAT I WROTE A BOOK
OF SHORT STORIES,

BUT I ONLY HAD
ONE STORY TO TELL.

I--I DON'T KNOW.

I GET INTO FIST FIGHTS
WHEN I'M DEPRESSED.

AND I BEGIN TO FEEL
THAT I'M NOT A GOOD PERSON.

MY RELATIONSHIP NOW
WITH IRENE...

WE FINALLY HIT THAT POINT
WHERE I'VE STOPPED VIEWING
EVERYTHING WE DO

AS MATERIAL
FOR MY NEXT BOOK.

THANK GOD.

AND SHE'S...THE FIRST GIRL
I'VE GONE OUT WITH

THAT I HAVEN'T BEEN
UNFAITHFUL TO,

AND I JUST WANT IT
TO STAY THAT WAY.

I DON'T WANT TO
BE UNFAITHFUL.

BUT IT'S HARD--

STOP FEELING SORRY
FOR YOURSELF!

Narrator: IT WAS RARE
THAT LESTER EVER SPOKE

WITHOUT THINKING A HUNDRED TIMES
ABOUT WHAT HE WAS GOING TO SAY,

BUT THIS DAY WAS AN EXCEPTION.

WHAT?

TAKE SOME RESPONSIBILITY
FOR YOURSELF.

DON'T BLAME IT
ON YOUR NATURE.

HOW CAN YOU SAY,
AT YOUR AGE,

THAT YOU'VE NEVER BEEN
FAITHFUL TO ANYONE?

WHAT KIND OF
BOYFRIEND ARE YOU?

WHAT KIND OF PERSON
ARE YOU?

I'M NOT CONDONING IT.
THAT'S WHY I'M HERE.

BUT YOU LAMENT
THE INEVITABLE DEMISE

OF YOUR FIDELITY
WITH IRENE

WHEN YOU CAN CONTROL IT.

YOU CAN REMAIN FAITHFUL
IF YOU CHOOSE TO.

IT JUST TAKES
A LITTLE EFFORT.

YOU DON'T KNOW
WHAT IT'S LIKE
WHERE I AM NOW.

VINCE, I DON'T KNOW
WHERE YOU ARE, BUT--

DON'T PATRONIZE ME.
FIST FIGHTS.

YOU'RE NOT HEMINGWAY
OR NORMAN MAILER.

YOU SAY YOU'VE NEVER
BEEN FAITHFUL?

WELL, THAT GOES BACK
TO BEFORE YOUR SUCCESS,

BACK WHEN YOU WERE
JUST SOME JACKOFF WHO
WANTED TO BE A WRITER.

SO DON'T
TALK DOWN TO ME.

LOOK BACK INTO
YOUR PAST, DASHIELL,

YOUR PAST GIRLFRIENDS,

AND FIND OUT WHAT
HAPPENED TO YOU.

WHO WERE THE ONES
THAT MATTERED?

HMM? WHO WERE THEY?

ALL RIGHT, VINCE,
DASHIELL,

UM...LET'S GET BACK
TO THAT RADIO INTERVIEW.

DASHIELL?

UH...IT WAS
A PLEDGE DRIVE.

UM...THE HOST ASKED ME

WHAT WAS NEXT.

OK. SENOR MUNOZ
HAS HEPATITIS,

SO I'M GOING TO BE
HELPING YOU REVIEW
FOR YOUR MIDTERM.

IT WILL INCLUDE ALL
IRREGULAR VERBS UP TO SABRE.

YES.

[MONOTONE]
¿ME DA EL PASE,
POR FAVOR?

TENGO QUE IR AL BAñO.

OK. YOUR NAME IS...

ME LLAMO NAT.

YOUR NAME IS NAT.

OK, NAT.
I'M GOING TO ASK YOU
TO REPEAT THAT IN ENGLISH.

CAN I HAVE THE PASS?
I NEED TO GO TO THE
BATHROOM.

OH, OK.

FINE. ANYONE ELSE?

ALL RIGHT.
IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS,

I'M GOING TO ASK YOU
TO ASK THEM IN ENGLISH

BECAUSE MR. GRIMM
DOESN'T SPEAK SPANISH.

NOT A LICK.

HELLO?

HI. IT'S ME.

LESTER.

I KNOW WHO IT IS.

I JUST HAD MAYBE THE WORST
SUBBING EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE.

YOU KNOW, I SPEAK
NOT A WORD OF SPANISH.

LESTER, I CAN'T TALK
'CAUSE I GOT TO GIVE

A PREVIEW TOUR OF
THE MIRO SHOW.

I'LL CALL YOU LATER.

FINE. YOU WANT TO
HAVE DINNER?

WELL, I DON'T KNOW.
I JUST--WANNA TAKE
THIS NIGHT, YOU KNOW?

UH-HUH.

NO, I MEAN I REALLY DO.
I'M LIKE THAT.

THIS ISN'T AN EXCUSE.
HONEST.

OK. WELL, HOW ABOUT
TOMORROW NIGHT?

SURE. OH! I'M BUSY.

I GOTTA GO TO DINNER
WITH THESE PEOPLE
FROM WORK

AND A FRIEND
OF MINE, FARLEY.

DON'T KNOW HIM.

FARLEY IS--
WELL, I DON'T KNOW.

HE'S TRYING TO KICK
HEROIN,

AND I SAID
I'D SIT WITH HIM.

EX?

[LAUGHS] NO.
NOT FARLEY.

OK. WELL, LOOK,
WHY DON'T YOU JUST

GIVE ME A CALL
WHEN YOU'RE FREE?

HEY, LESTER.

MM-HMM.

I REALLY DO HAVE
PLANS,

AND I REALLY DO
JUST WANT A NIGHT
BY MYSELF.

I MEAN, WE DON'T
KNOW EACH OTHER
THAT WELL YET.

WE HAVEN'T HAD ONE
OF THOSE THINGS

THAT WE'RE HAVING
RIGHT NOW,

SO YOU MIGHT THINK
I'M JUST MAKING
THIS UP.

YEAH...I BELIEVE YOU.

DO YOU?

BYE.
YEAH. BYE-BYE.

Machine:
NO MESSAGES.

♪ IT'S RAININ' SO HARD

♪ LIKE IT'S GONNA RAIN
ALL NIGHT ♪

♪ I'D LOVE TO BE
HOLDING YOU TIGHT... ♪

Narrator: EVERY TIME
HE PICKED UP DASHIELL'S BOOK,

HE FOUND HIMSELF
UNABLE TO PENETRATE IT,

READING THE SAME SENTENCE
OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

MOREOVER, LESTER HAD FORGOTTEN
WHAT HE DID WITH HIS TIME

BEFORE HE MET RAMONA.

♪ DRIP DROP, DRIP DROP ♪ IT'S RAININ' SO HARD

♪ DRIP DROP, DRIP DROP ♪ IT'S REALLY COMING DOWN

♪ OH

♪ THE RAIN ALL AROUND

HI, IT'S RAMONA.
LEAVE A MESSAGE.

THANKS.

♪ I'D LOVE TO BE
HOLDING YOU TIGHT ♪

♪ I GUESS I'LL
JUST GO CRAZY ♪

♪ TONIGHT

♪ IT'S RAININ' SO HARD

♪ BRINGS BACK MEMORIES

♪ DRIP, DROP

♪ AH

♪ OF THE TIME...

[BUSY SIGNAL]

♪ COUNTING EVERY DROP

♪ ABOUT TO BLOW MY TOP

♪ I WISH THIS RAIN
WOULD HURRY UP ♪

♪ AND STOP

[LINE RINGS]

[RINGING]

[COUGH COUGH]

[PRESSES
BUZZER]

LESTER?

HEY.

OH.

I'M SORRY, I--

I CALLED--

SORRY, I'M
OUT OF BREATH.

I CALLED.

I WAS IN THE SHOWER.

OH, THAT MUST
HAVE BEEN...

WHEW.

THAT MUST HAVE
BEEN IT.
I'M SORRY.

IT'S OK.
YOU ALL RIGHT?

YEAH, I WAS...
I WAS--I WAS JUST
WORRIED.

JUST SHOWERING.

I--I--I ALSO CALLED

ABOUT A HALF-HOUR
AGO.

YEAH?

WHERE WERE YOU
THEN?

A HALF-HOUR AGO?
UH...I DON'T KNOW.

BECAUSE THE PHONE...

THERE WAS--
THERE WAS NO ANSWER.

OH! I WENT OUT FOR MILK.
I GOT MILK.

FOR COFFEE.

OH! THAT MUST HAVE
BEEN IT.

FINE.

IT WAS MILK.

MM-HMM.

OOH...

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

YES. HA HA.

I'LL TALK TO YOU
TOMORROW.

OK.

ALL RIGHT.
GOOD.

BYE-BYE.

BYE.

Man: WHO WAS THAT?

THE NEXT DAY,
LESTER TOLD VINCE
HE WAS LEAVING GROUP.

LESTER, WE HAVEN'T
FINISHED MY ANALYSIS.
WHAT ABOUT ME?

I'M SORRY.
I DIDN'T REALIZE

YOU WERE GETTING
SO MUCH OUT OF IT.

WELL, I FELT LIKE
WE WERE BOTH MAKING
SOME HEADWAY.

I DON'T WANT
THE RESPONSIBILITY.

I JUST WANTED TO LEARN
MORE ABOUT RAMONA,

AND NOW I'M DEALING WITH
YOU AND LUCRETIA

AND OTHER PEOPLE
IN THE GROUP.

I JUST--I FEEL IT TUGGING
AT A SIDE OF ME

THAT MAY NOT BE
SO HEALTHY.

JESUS, LESTER,
I'M NOT PREPARED
TO STOP.

I MEAN, I AM
TERRIFIED OF ENDING IT.

I'LL LET YOU IN
ON A LITTLE SECRET.

I KNOW I APPEAR AS IF
I HAVE IT ALL TOGETHER

THE LAW FIRM, THE FIANCEE,
$75 HAIR CUT--

BUT I AM FUCKED UP.
I'M REALLY FUCKED UP.

I AM TEETERING
ON THE PRECIPICE,

AND YOU'RE GONNA JUST
PUSH ME RIGHT OVER!

JUST ONE MORE SESSION.
ONE MORE WEEK. 2 MORE!

JUST 2 MORE WEEKS!

THAT'S 4 MORE.

4 MORE.

I DUNNO.

OH, MAN!

WHAT AM I GONNA
DO NOW?

I DUNNO.
GET YOUR OWN THERAPY?

FUCK YOU,
MY OWN THERAPY!

YOU STARTED THIS.
YOU CAN'T JUST
TERMINATE IT.

OK.

2 MORE,
BUT THAT'S IT.

GREAT.

LESTER LIKED FIGHTING
WITH DASHIELL.

THAT FELT GOOD.

LESTER FELT THE WRITER
WAS OBVIOUSLY POMPOUS,

SELF-CENTERED, AND IMMATURE.

AND THERE WAS NO MENTION
OF RAMONA--NOT THE REAL
RAMONA, ANYWAY.

JUST CHARACTERS FROM
THE STORIES IN DASHIELL'S BOOK.

LESTER WONDERED...
WAS RAMONA THE WOMAN
DASHIELL DESCRIBED?

THE OTHER NIGHT,
FEELING GUILTY,

I TOLD IRENE
THAT THE CHARACTER
IN MY BOOK, CHARLOTTE,

THE ONE WHO TAKES PART
IN THE EROTIC SEX SCENE,

WAS BASED ON AN ACTUAL
GIRLFRIEND OF MINE.

Dr. Poke:
YOU TOLD THE TRUTH?

CHARLOTTE WAS A GIRL
I DATED IN NEW YORK
AFTER COLLEGE.

THE REAL CHARLOTTE--
GOD, MY MEMORY IS TERRIBLE--

THE REAL CHARLOTTE
WAS A BIT OF A TART.

Lester: A WHAT?

WHAT A PHILIP ROTH CHARACTER
MIGHT CALL A CHIPPY.

SHE HAD A NUMBER OF LOVERS
FOR A WOMAN HER AGE,

AT LEAST IN MY EXPERIENCE.

IN COLLEGE SHE DATED
A LOT OF THOSE
YOUNGER TEACHERS

THAT EVERYBODY
HAD CRUSHES ON.

THE GUYS WANTED TO BE.
THE GIRLS WANTED TO FUCK.

ONE HISTORY TEACHER
IN PARTICULAR...USED TO
BOTHER ME A LOT THEN.

NOW I ONE OF THOSE GUYS.

I JUST WANTED
TO SAY--

PLEASE SHUT UP.

IT'S STILL A LITTLE EMBARRASSING
FOR ME TO WRITE LIKE THAT.

I SPEND A LOT OF TIME
WITH THE WORDS.

IT'S HARD TO AVOID
CLICHES WITH SEX.

I MEAN, I'D MADE LOVE TO HER,

SO I KNEW HER HABITS,
HER SOUNDS.

I THINK ABOUT HER A LOT.

WRITING ABOUT HER
WAS A WAY TO HAVE HER AGAIN.

HOW'S THERAPY BEEN?

YOU KNOW,
WHAT ARE YOU
WORKING THROUGH?

YOUR PARENTS'...
DIVORCE?

OR...YOUR CAREER?

ME?

YEAH. YOU KNOW...

WHICH?

UH...

ALL OF--
OF THOSE THINGS.

YOU KNOW.

I DON'T KNOW.

HOW WHEN MY PARENTS
DIVORCED,

I BEGAN TO REALIZE
THAT THEY HAD REAL
LIVES?

HOW SOMEHOW
I'D IDEALIZED THEM

UP UNTIL THEN.

BUT...
BUT THAT THAT'S OK
AND NATURAL.

BUT HE SAYS THAT IF
I CHOOSE TO GO BACK
TO WRITING WHILE
I TEACH

THAT I'LL PROBABLY
DO VERY WELL

EVEN THOUGH I'M
STALLED A LITTLE NOW,

THAT I'LL GET BACK
ON TRACK

AND PROBABLY BE
VERY SUCCESSFUL.

OH.

AND YOU. YOU AND ME.

DO THEY LIKE ME?

OH, YEAH. VERY MUCH.

BUT WE'VE TALKED ABOUT
HOW DIFFICULT IT IS

FOR A YOUNG
RELATIONSHIP,

WHEN YOU REALLY
CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER

BUT DON'T KNOW ENOUGH
ABOUT YOURSELVES YET.

HMM.

THOSE KINDS OF THINGS.

I DON'T KNOW.
I'VE JUST STARTED.

HMM. OH, HEY.
I'VE BEEN MEANING
TO ASK YOU.

DO YOU LIKE THAT BOOK?

DON QUIXOTE?

NO, NO.
THE ONE THAT I GAVE YOU.

POST EUPHORIA.
DASHIELL'S BOOK.

THE FIRST STORY
IN PARTICULAR.

THE FIRST ONE...
IT'S GOOD.

I'M NOT--I'M NOT
DONE WITH IT YET.

I'M READING IT
OUT OF ORDER.

MMM. I'M INTERESTED
TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK.

YEAH?

LESTER CONTINUED ON PAST
THE NEXT 2 SESSIONS,

AND ROUTINE SETTLED IN.

IT SEEMED TO HIM THAT
ON THE ROAD TO GETTING BETTER,

THE GROUP ALL BEGAN
TO LOOK A LITTLE WORSE--

MARIA, WHO WAS CONVINCED
SHE AND HER FAMILY WOULD DIE

AFTER AN EXTERMINATOR
SPRAYED HER APARTMENT
WITH A CARCINOGEN....

...WITHOUT MY CONSENT.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE
THAT IS IN THE LEASE!

TREY, WHO WAS GOING THROUGH
HIS FOURTH DIVORCE AT 36...

...GAINED SO MUCH WEIGHT,

I STILL CAN'T GET
MY WEDDING RING...OFF.

AND JOSSELYN WHO CAME AFTER

SHE'D BEEN HAVING AN AFFAIR
WITH HER OTHER THERAPIST

AND THEN,
FEELING HE HAD CURED HER,

LEFT AFTER A MONTH,
AND SO ON.

THE REASON I WAS
AFRAID TO FLY

WAS THAT I WAS AFRAID
OF ERECTIONS,

BECAUSE THEY BOTH
WENT UP MYSTERIOUSLY.

EACH PROBLEM WAS WORKED ON
DILIGENTLY BY THE GROUP.

THEY ALL DEVELOPED A MUTUAL
RESPECT FOR ONE ANOTHER.

LESTER GOT USED TO SITTING
IN THE SAME SEAT,

AND AS THE GROUP,

INSTIGATED BY DASHIELL,
TORE POOR VINCE'S LIFE TO BITS,

LESTER DEFENDED HIS FRIEND.

YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS.
I HAVE GOOD FRIENDS.

WHAT'S SO UNHEALTHY
ABOUT THAT?

AND I THINK COKE
DOES VARY PER CAN.

BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY,
LESTER ATTACKED DASHIELL.

OH, YOU ARE SO WRONG,
SO FULL OF YOURSELF!

HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT
ABOUT THIS, DASHIELL?

HOW'D THE MET
INTERVIEW GO?

GOOD. I THINK.
GOOD.

IMAGINE WORKING AT
THE METROPOLITAN MUSEUM.

I KNOW.

I DON'T KNOW, THOUGH.

YOU KNOW?

IT'S MORE AU COURANT
AND ALL THAT,

BUT I LOVE BROOKLYN.

I WOULD FEEL GUILTY,
LIKE I'M CHEATING
ON MY MUSEUM.

NO, BUT I WOULD.

VINCE SAID THE MOST
INSIGHTFUL THING
THE OTHER DAY ABOUT US.

I WISH I COULD REMEMBER
WHAT IT WAS.

IT HAPPENED RIGHT AFTER
WE'D HAD THIS FIGHT
ABOUT LINT.

GO BACK TO 34.
WHAT WAS ON THAT?

SOFT-CORE.

MAYBE WE SHOULD
TURN IN SOON, VINCE.

HELLO, WHAT'S THIS?

OH, THIS MOVIE SUCKS.

BY THE THIRD TIME
I SAW IT I WAS, LIKE,

"I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW MUCH
I DON'T LIKE THIS MOVIE."

I HAVEN'T SEEN IT.
HOLD ON.

IT'S TERRIBLE.

BUT THEN THE NEXT DAY
HE APOLOGIZED

AND HE TOOK ME OUT
TO DINNER,

AND WE WERE JUST
TOGETHER.

HE'S GOTTEN
SO INTROSPECTIVE LATELY.

I MEAN, I THINK
HE'S REALLY TRYING
TO CHANGE.

WHICH I THINK IS GOOD.

I MEAN, YOU CAN ONLY
FIND INCOMPETENCE
ENDEARING FOR SO LONG.

YEAH.

GROUP SHOULD BE
UNDER WAY.

TO THINK I'M PROBABLY
BEING TALKED ABOUT
RIGHT NOW.

MY NOSE SHOULD BE
ITCHING. [SNIFFS]

[LUCRETIA LAUGHS]

SO YOU'RE SAYING
THAT I'M CHOOSING
BETWEEN LESTER AND--

I'M SAYING LESTER
MIGHT HAVE AN ULTERIOR MOTIVE.

LUCRETIA JUST WANTS
TO GET MARRIED.
WHO KNOWS ABOUT LESTER?

GOD, I'D HATE TO BE
TALKED ABOUT IN FRONT
OF ALL THOSE PEOPLE.

CAN YOU IMAGINE?
OUR SEX LIFE?

FOR THAT, I AM GLAD
THAT VINCE IS NOT
IN GROUP.

AND BESIDES,
YOU KNOW, I'D KINDA
BE A BIT SCARED

THAT HE MIGHT CHANGE,
YOU KNOW, IN A BAD WAY,

AND, I DON'T KNOW...
WANNA LEAVE ME
OR SOMETHING.

MMM...

HOW ARE THINGS WITH IRENE?

SHE'S FINE.
IT'S JUST THAT...

RECENTLY I'VE STARTED
TO LOSE INTEREST.

I'VE STARTED THINKING
ABOUT EX-GIRLFRIENDS,

PARTICULARLY
BEFORE THE BOOK.

LIKE WHO?

I CAN'T REMEMBER
THEIR NAMES.

I DON'T DWELVINCE.

LAUREN...

ABIGAIL, CAROL...

RAMONA, VICTORIA...

ANOTHER LAUREN.

IT'S FUNNY,
IT'S LIKE...

EVERY TIME SOMETHING
HAPPENS AT A TEMPLE
GROUP,

IT'S NOT GONNA BE GOOD.

HEY, VINCE.

WANNA GET A DRINK?

HE DID SAY
THAT HE WOULD MEET ME
AFTER GROUP.

YOU KNOW,
I LOVE MEETING
FOR COFFEE.

AW!

I DO!

DID YOU THINK BACK
AT MILWOOD OR SHEEPSHEAD

THAT WE WOULD BE
MEETING FOR COFFEE?

WE DRANK COFFEE
THEN, TOO.

YOU MAKE IT
SOUND LIKE
WE WERE SAVAGES.

I KNOW, BUT THIS IS SO
ADULT AND GLITZY,
I LOVE IT.

I DO!

HA HA HA HA HA HA!

AHEM.

THANK YOU.

SO...

Woman, whispering:
That's Dashiell Frank.

YOU WRITING
ANOTHER BOOK?

YEAH, I'M WRITING.

I WAS GIVEN
A HUGE ADVANCE

FOR THE NEXT ONE,
A NOVEL.

I'VE NEVER SEEN
SO MUCH MONEY.

AND I'VE NEVER
WRITTEN A NOVEL.

I KEEP THINKING
THIS ONE HAS TO BE
THAT MUCH BETTER

BECAUSE I'M GETTING
SO MUCH MORE FOR IT.

WELL, YOU'RE RIGHT.
PROBABLY DOES.

JUST WRITE
WOULD BE MY ADVICE.

WE'RE JUST HAVING
CONVERSATION.

I DON'T NEED YOUR
ADVICE.

FINE.

I'M JUST GONNA
FINISH MY DRINK.

LISTEN, VINCE,
I WANTED TO SAY
TO YOU...

WHAT?

THAT I...

APPRECIATE WHAT YOU
DO FOR ME IN THERE.

I FIND MOST OF
THE GROUP IS AFRAID
TO SPEAK THEIR MINDS.

I WISH DR. POKE
WOULD ENCOURAGE
MORE OF THAT.

SINCE YOU'VE JOINED...
I FEEL MUCH BETTER.

I LIKE OUR LITTLE
BATTLES.

I HOPE YOU DO, TOO.

YES.

I DO.

HA HA.

I DON'T SMOKE.

I'VE GOT THE PATCH.

I DIDN'T START
TILL COLLEGE.

IT'S A DISGUSTING
HABIT.

HA.

I KNOW THAT'S NOT
A PARTICULARLY
ORIGINAL INSIGHT,

BUT IT IS DISGUSTING.
LOOK.

I'VE GOT THIS LITTLE
YELLOW STAIN ON THIS...

THIS...WHATEVER
YOU CALL THIS
ABOVE THE LIP.

LITTLE YELLOW
MARK.

2 MORE JAMIESON.
NEAT.

WHAT I LOVE ABOUT
THESE BABIES

IS YOU GET THE CIGAR
WITHOUT THE
COMMITMENT.

BECKETT
SMOKED THESE.

YOU KNOW WHAT I SAW
THE OTHER NIGHT WHICH
I'D NEVER SEEN BEFORE?

WHAT?

THE MAN WHO SHOT
LIBERTY VALANCE.

JOHN FORD. GOOD?

IT IS. VERY.
I WISH I WERE A COWBOY.

WHAT?
YOU KNOW WHAT
I JUST THOUGHT?

IRENE'S FATHER
IS SO BALD,

WELL, AND BALDNESS
RUNS ON THE MOTHER'S
SIDE,

SO OUR CHILDREN ARE
DOOMED TO BALDNESS.

HOPE YOU HAVE GIRLS.

BALD GIRLS.

IT COULD HAPPEN!

WHAT'S LUCRETIA'S
FATHER LIKE? BALD?

I DUNNO.

IS HE? BALD?

OH, YOU'D LIKE HIM
TO BE, WOULDN'T YOU?

NO, NO, NO.
SEE, THAT IS
YOUR OTHER FRIENDS

WHO LIKE COMPANY
IN THEIR MISERY.

I WOULD BE PERFECTLY
HAPPY TO HEAR THAT
YOUR CHILDREN

WOULD HAVE
FULL HEADS OF HAIR.

COME ON. IS HE?
BALD?

WELL, SORT OF.
I MEAN, HE HAS HAIR
ON THE SIDES.

THAT'S BALD.

IF YOU MEAN BALD
IN THAT IT'S JUST

SORT OF SKIN
ON THE HEAD...YES.

BALD?

LESTER'S RIGHT.

DON'T MARRY
LUCRETIA.

THEN MY DAD DIED
WHILE I WAS IN
COLLEGE.

I WAS 21.
IT'S FUNNY,
10 YEARS LATER

I STILL DON'T FEEL
LIKE THE KINDA GUY
TO HAVE A DEAD FATHER.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

YOU KNOW, I WISH
I COULD USE WORDS
LIKE CHICK AND DOLL

AND SOUND LEGIT.

I ALWAYS ENVY GUYS
WHO CAN DELIVER

THAT KINDA SPEAK
TO WOMEN

WITHOUT SOUNDING
STUPID OR CONTRIVED.

I CAN WRITE IT.
I JUST CAN'T SAY IT.

SUBWAY?

NAW. I'LL CATCH A TAXI.

GOOD NIGHT.

GOOD NIGHT.

I'M SO SORRY.
I COMPLETELY FORGOT.

WELL, I WAITED.

I'M SO SORRY.

OH, LESTER.

DON'T MAKE PLANS
IF YOU CAN'T KEEP 'EM.

I KNOW.
IT'S ENTIRELY MY FAULT.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]I'M SORRY.

HELLO?

LESTER. VINCE.
WHAT WENT ON TODAY?

I--I CAN'T TALK
RIGHT NOW.

NO, JUST GIVE ME
A LITTLE NUGGET.

I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER.

WHICH ONE OF
MY SICK FRIENDS
IS THAT?

THAT WAS VINCE.

OH, ONE OF
YOUR SICK FRIENDS.

WHERE THE HELL
WERE YOU?

UM...

WELL, IT WAS A FAIRLY
INTENSE SESSION.

MY MIND WANDERED,
SO I WENT FOR A WALK,

DAYDREAMED...

SA THE MAN WHO SHOT
LIBERTY VALANCE
AT CINEMA VILLAGE.

A GOOD LIAR HAD ONCE TOLD LESTER
THAT DETAIL WAS IMPORTANT

IN THE BEST FIBS.

BUT LESTER WASN'T A GOOD LIAR.
HE WAS A TRULY BAD LIAR.

AND LESTER CLAIMED TO SEE
A MOVIE HE HAD ALWAYS
MEANT TO SEE

BUT HAD NEVER SEEN BEFORE.

OH, HOW WAS IT?
I HEAR THAT WAS
GREAT.

YES. IT IS. YEAH.
YOU HEARD RIGHT.

DID YOU LIKE IT?

FOR A GUY WHO SAW
A LOT OF MOVIES,

HE'D ALSO MANAGED
TO PICK A BLIND SPOT,

ONE OF THE FEW BLACK AND WHITE
JOHN FORD FILMS HE KNEW LITTLE
TO NOTHING ABOUT.

IT'S ACTUALLY
JOHN WAYNE THAT SHOOTS
LIBERTY VALANCE, HUH?

MM-HMM.

I MEAN, HE'S PRESENTED
AS JIMMY STEWART,

BUT THEN IT'S
REALLY JOHN WAYNE?

YEAH. IT'S LIKE THAT.

MMM. IS IT IN COLOR
OR BLACK AND WHITE?

WHAT?

THE FILM.
IS IT IN COLOR
OR BLACK AND WHITE?

BLACK AND WHITE
OR COLOR?

COLOR.

OH.

IT MUST HAVE BEEN
PRETTY.

GOOD PRINT?

WHOA!

[LAUGHS] SORRY.

YES. GOOD PRINT.

♪♪

♪♪

[KEEPS WHISTLING]

LESTER DIDN'T LIKE
LYING LIKE THAT,

BUT BEING IN DASHIELL'S PRESENCE
EXCITED HIM,

HEARING DASHIELL'S PROBLEMS,
COMMENTING ON DASHIELL'S LIFE.

HE FELT CLOSER THAN EVER
TO RAMONA.

MAKING LOVE TO RAMONA
THAT NIGHT,

LESTER FELT THEIR BODIES
CONVERGE.

HE IMAGINED THEIR SKIN
OVERLAPPED.

HE FELT HE KNEW HER.

ALTHOUGH ON OCCASION
SHE COULD BE READ AS
CLUMSY OR CARELESS,

RAMONA DID PRIDE HERSELF
ON BEING RATIONAL
AND UNSUPERSTITIOUS.

BUT LATELY SHE DEVELOPED
ODD OBSESSIONS.

IF SHE DIDN'T MAKE IT
ACROSS THE STREET

BEFORE THE WALK SIGN
STARTED BLINKING DON'T WALK,

SHE WOULDN'T GET AN "A"
ON HER LAST ESSAY.

IF SHE SAW MORE THAN 8 PIGEONS
ON HER WAY TO THE SUBWAY,

SHE WOULDN'T GET
A RAISE AT WORK.

IF SHE FINISHED HER LECTURE
IN UNDER 42 MINUTES,
IT'D BE A GOOD DAY.

IF IT WENT OVER IT MEANT
THE SUBWAY MIGHT BE CROWDED

OR SHE'D HAVE A FIGHT
WITH LESTER.

ALL THIS FRUSTRATED RAMONA,
WHO GENERALLY CONSIDERED
HERSELF LEVEL-HEADED.

LOOK AT THE TIME!
COME ON.
HURRY, LET'S GO!

IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU.

YOU, TOO.

OH, THIS IS IRENE.

HELLO.

I HAVE A JACKET
LIKE THAT.

YEAH, I KNOW.
I LIKED YOURS,
SO I BOUGHT ONE.

VINCE, I'M SORRY
LUCRETIA COULDN'T MAKE IT.

YEAH, SO WAS SHE.

WELL, NEXT TIME.

WE'RE HAVING
THE GOOD STUFF TONIGHT.

IRENE, VINCE HERE
HAS BEEN A BIG HELP
TO ME LATELY.

Y-

Y-YOU HAVE
BEEN, VINCE.

HE TALKS
ABOUT--

Y-Y-

Y-YOU ALL
THE TIME.

BEEN LOOKING FORWARD
TO THIS DRINK ALL DAY.

BEEN BLOCKED TODAY.

ALL WEEK, ACTUALLY.

IT'S FUNNY.
I'M STARTING TO THINK
POST EUPHORIA

WAS ALL I KNEW.

[CAT'S CRADLEPLAYS]

[SNIFF]

♪ A CHILD ARRIVED
JUST THE OTHER DAY ♪

♪ IT CAME TO THE WORLD
IN THE USUAL WAY... ♪

HEY, IRENE, WHY DON'T
YOU TELL THAT STORY

ABOUT HOW YOUR FAMILY
HAD BAD CLAMS

AND YOUR BROTHER PHILIP
THREW UP ALL OVER
THE RESTAURANT?

H-HOW CAN I
TELL HIM?

Y-Y-YOU JUST
TOLD HIM.

THAT'S THE STORY.

PHILIP HAD SOME
BAD CLAMS AND...

TH-THREW UP.

SO...VINCE.

DID DASHIELL TURN...
Y-YOU ON

TO...S-SCOTCH...

TOO?

HE MAKES ME
DRINK IT.
I--I HATE IT.

I--I PREFER
VODKA AND...

C-C-CRANBERRY.

I C-C-COULD NEVER
GO TO...

TH-THERAPY.

I DON'T LIKE TO
TALK ABOUT MYSELF.

IRENE'S WRITING
AN ESSAY...

ABOUT
HER STUTTER.

HER...UH,
DIS-FLUENCY.

MY DIS-FLUENCY.

AMONG OTHER THINGS,

IT'S ABOUT HOW
DIFFERENT PEOPLE
REACT.

YOU'RE GOOD,
VINCE.

YOU JUST WAIT.

OTHER PEOPLE FINISH
MY SENTENCES.

IT'S A NICE ESSAY.

YOU KNOW, YOU...
IT'S FUNNY.

YOU GOT ME
THINKING ABOUT

ALL THOSE PEOPLE
I KNEW IN COLLEGE

IN THOSE FIRST
YEARS OUT.

I HAVEN'T THOUGHT
ABOUT SOME OF THEM
IN SOME TIME.

I KNOW. I'M LOSING
MY MEMORY, TOO.
I'M CONVINCED OF IT.

HUH.

IRENE IS GREAT.

THAT GIRL...
CHARLOTTE?

THE ONE IN THE BOOK?

WE WENT OUT,
HAD SUCH A STRANGE
TIME.

THE FEELINGS YOU FEEL
ARE SO STRONG, BUT...

I DON'T KNOW
HOW REAL THEY ARE.

I MEAN, WHO KNOWS
IF THOSE FEELINGS

ARE REAL WHEN
YOU'RE THAT AGE...

JUST OUT ON YOUR OWN?

PROBABLY NOT.

YOU KNOW...I AM
SO GLAD YOU CALLED ME
ON THAT LINE.

I'VE NEVER DATED A GIRL
I DIDN'T CHEAT ON.

WHAT A SAD EXISTENCE.

OH, DON'T WORRY
ABOUT IT.

IRENE IS GREAT.

YEAH, BUT...RAMONA.

RAMONA...

OH...

HEY, VINCE.

I'M SURE LESTER'S
ALL RIGHT.

GOOD FRIENDS
ARE IMPORTANT.

THANKS FOR COMING.

LESTER COULD ACTUALLY
FEEL THE WORLD SPINNING
OUT OF CONTROL.

INTELLECTUALLY,

I HAVE TO PEE.

WELL, GO, THEN.

I DON'T ACTUALLY
HAVE TO.

I JUST FEEL
THAT I SHOULD.

AH...

[GIGGLES]

HEY, LESTER,

CAN I TELL YOU
SOMETHING?

HEY, RAMONA.

YES.

I'M NOT SURE
YOU'RE GONNA
LIKE IT.

WELL...

I GUESS I STILL
WANNA HEAR IT.

I JUST...
HAD TO COME BY...

AND RAMONA RELATED THE EVENTS
OF THAT ALREADY-CONTROVERSIAL
EARLIER NIGHT.

I'M LYING
ALREADY, MAN.

I BEEN OUTSIDE
FOR HALF AN HOUR.

I'M GOIN' NUTS!

STEPHEN HAD STOPPED BY
UNINVITED.

HE'D BEEN UPSET.

HIS AND RAMONA'S BREAKUP

HAD NOT BEEN WHAT
HE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE.

...TO STOP THINKING
ABOUT YOU EVER
SINCE THEN.

THEY TALKED, SMALL TALK,
FOR A WHILE,

AND THEN HE MADE
A PASS AT HER.

AND FIRST SHE RESPONDED.
IT FELT COMFORTABLE.

IT WAS A KISS
SHE KNEW WELL.

BUT THEN SHE THOUGHT AGAIN.
SHE WAS SEEING LESTER.

NO.

YOU SURE?

YEAH.

AND...I'M...

THEN SHE KISSED HIM AGAIN.

I DECIDED...

IT WAS OVER.

I MEAN, I DECIDED
FOR BOTH OF US.

I LIKE YON.

NOW?

I MEAN, YOU HAVE
TO UNDERSTAND,

I DIDN'T PLAN
TO SEE HIM.

HE JUST, UH,
STOPPED BY.

I MEAN, WE HAD
A RELATIONSHIP
BEFORE.

IT HAD NOTHING
TO DO WITH YOU.

I UNDERSTAND.

NO, YOU DON'T.

YOU SHOULD.

NO...

YOU SORTA SHOULD.

I MEAN, I DON'T
KNOW IF I WOULD
CONDONE IT.

I MEAN, I DON'T
WANT IT TO MEAN
ANYTHING.

IT DOESN'T MEAN
ANYTHING.

I'M NOT ANGRY.

BUT I COULD UNDERSTAND
IF YOU WERE ANGRY,

FROM A PERFECTLY NORMAL,
PARANOID, SEMI-SICK,

IRRATIONALLY JEALOUS
POINT OF VIEW.

AND I HID IT FROM YOU
AS WELL, WHICH COULD
MAKE IT WORSE.

OF COURSE I WOULD HAVE
PREFERRED TO HAVE HEARD
ABOUT IT EARLIER,

OR FOR IT NEVER TO HAVE
EVER TO HAVE HAPPENED,

BUT IT'S NOT
SUCH A BIG DEAL.

BUT YOU HAVE TO
UNDERSTAND.

I DIDN'T KNOW
WHAT WAS GONNA
HAPPEN BETWEEN US.

FOR ALL I KNOW,
WE COULD HAVE BEEN
A SURE THING.

IT WAS NOTHING.
AND WE DIDN'T DO IT.

STEPHEN AND I DIDN'T
DO IT...THEN.

I MEAN, WE HAD
DONE IT BEFORE,
BUT NOT THAT NIGHT.

WELL, I'M GLAD
YOU DIDN'T DO IT.

AND WE DIDN'T
HAVE ANY CONDOMS.

WELL, YOU--YOU COULD
HAVE GOT THEM WHEN
YOU--AHEM--

WHEN YOU WENT OUT
FOR THE MILK.

BUT, THE THING IS
IS I DIDN'T GO OUT
FOR MILK.

I HAD MILK.
I HAD UNPLUGGED
THE PHONE, BUT...

YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND,
THIS IS FROM
ANOTHER TIME.

I WAS CLEARING UP
BUSINESS FROM BEFORE YOU.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

UH...SCREEN.

[RING]

LESTER...

NO, LISTEN,
I UNDERSTAND.

BEFORE ME,
WE WEREN'T US
YET.

[ON MACHINE]
UH, LESTER, THIS IS VINCE.

I'M JUST WONDERING
IF THERE'S...

ANYTHING YOU WANT
TO TELL ME...TCH.

JUST CHECKING IN.

OK!

JUST CALL ME.

HELLO TO RAMONA.
LUCRETIA SAYS HI.

HEY, MAYBE IT'S SOMETHING
YOU CAN TALK ABOUT
IN THERAPY.

YEAH.

RAMONA FELT GOOD
ABOUT CONFESSING.

THE ONLY THING
SHE DIDN'T MENTION

WAS THAT A FEW DAYS AFTER
HE'D STOPPED BY,

STEPHEN SHOWED UP AGAIN
AT THE MUSEUM.

RAMONA, FALLING FURTHER PREY
TO SUPERSTITION,

THE RULES HER OWN,

FOUND HERSELF TRYING TO
MAKE IT FROM GALLERY ROOM 7
TO GALLERY ROOM 9

IN UNDER 25 SECONDS.

IF SHE MADE IT,
SHE'D GET HER Ph.D.
BEFORE SHE WAS 33.

IF SHE DIDN'T,
SHE WOULDN'T FINISH
UNTIL CLOSE TO 40.

THE CATCH WAS SHE COULDN'T RUN,
AND SHE COULDN'T STEP ON
THE BLACK LINES.

WHOA!

YIKES!

WHOA. HA!

JESUS, STEPHEN!

YEAH!

OH, I FORGOT
YOU WORK HERE!

AND THEY RACED THROUGH
THE PLEASANTRIES WHILE
RAMONA CAUGHT HER BREATH,

AND THEN STEPHEN ASKED...

WHAT DO YOU THINK
OF THE GOATEE?

N-OH...

N-YEAH. I FEEL
STUPID WITH IT.

LOIS SUGGESTED I DO IT,

AND I'M CONVINCED NOW
THAT SHE WAS JUST TRYING
TO MAKE ME UNATTRACTIVE

TO THE REST OF THE WORLD
SO I WOULDN'T GO ANYWHERE.

BUT STEPHEN DIDN'T GIVE UP.

THE NEXT DAY HE MET RAMONA
AGAIN AT WORK

AND OFFERED TO
WALK HER HOME.

HEY. HEY!THEN HE MADE HIS MOVE.

BUT RAMONA WAS COMMITTED
TO SEEING THINGS THROUGH
WITH LESTER.

WE BROKE UP.

I'M HAPPY
ABOUT THAT.

MEANWHILE, VINCE AND LUCRETIA
WERE HAVING THE TIME OF
THEIR LIVES...

DANCING, FANCY RESTAURANTS,
AND PRESENTS TWICE A WEEK.

AND NO LINT.

LUCRETIA WAS DEEPLY IN LOVE,

AND VINCE FELT HE WAS
BECOMING AN ADULT.

LUCRETIA DID
THE CUTEST THING
THE OTHER DAY.

GOD, I WISH I COULD
REMEMBER WHAT IT WAS.

I MENTIONED HOW YOU
HAVE TROUBLE FINISHING
THINGS, AND THEY SAID--

WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?

I DON'T HAVE
THAT PROBLEM.

WELL, I GUESS
THAT'S MY PROBLEM.

YOU'RE TELLING
YOUR PROBLEMS, TOO?

AH, MAYBE I SNEAK ONE IN
EVERY NOW AND THEN.

I DUNNO.
I'VE COMBINED BOTH OUR
LIVES AT THIS POINT,

BUT I DOUBT IT AFFECTS
THE DIAGNOSIS.

MMM. WELL, BE CAREFUL.

YOU KNOW, YOU MUTATE
INFORMATION LIKE THAT,

WE'LL BOTH TURN INTO
IDIOTS.

HEY, I COULD USE
A LITTLE HELP, TOO,
YOU KNOW.

I'VE BEEN THINKING.

ONE OF US HAS TO
BREAK THIS TO MILLY.

WE GOTTA STOP WITH
THE SAME ORDERS
EVERY TIME.

IF I EAT ANOTHER
CHEESEBURGER--

HOW ABOUT ANOTHER HIT,
SWEETHEART?

YES, THANK YOU, MILLY.

COFFEE'S GOOD
TODAY.

WHAT ABOUT YOU,
DARLING?

NO, I'M FINE, THANKS.

WHAT IS THIS?

I JUST FEEL
IT'S TIME TO STOP,

CHANGE OUR ORDERS,
EVEN OUR DINER.

AT LEAST OUR BOOTH.

WHAT THE HELL
ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

IT JUST ISN'T MAKING
ME FEEL GOOD ANYMORE,

THE SAME THING,
DRINKING COFFEE.

I ALWAYS FEEL BAD,
WORRIED.

IF I'M NOT SHAKING,

IT'S LIKE I'M ABOUT
TO HAVE A HEART ATTACK
ALL THE TIME.

YOU DON'T LIKE
THAT FEELING?

I'M GETTING THIS
FROM YOU.

THIS IS YOUR
ADVICE TO ME.

I MEAN, RECENTLY,
LUCRETIA--

WE TALK ABOUT
THE ISSUES AT HAND.

WE DON'T AVOID THINGS,
BUT WE ATTACK THEM
HEAD ON.

THAT'S GREAT.

AND SEX...

OH, BABY.

WELL, SEX IS THE BEST
IT'S EVER BEEN.

[PLAYING OFF-KEY]

I JUST FEEL ALL THIS
SHOULD BLEED OVER
INTO MY EATING LIFE.

I JUST FIND IT
VERY HELPFUL, KI--
LESTER.

I MEAN, IT'S GREAT.

I THOUGHT I WAS STUCK
WITH THIS VINCE,
BUT I'M NOT.

AND I'M LIKING
THE NEW VINCE.

THAT'S A NEW THING
FOR THE NEW VINCE.

WELL, DON'T MARRY
LUCRETIA IF YOU DON'T
WANNA HAVE BALD KIDS.

HA HA HA.

WHAT?

WHAT HAPPENED
IN THERAPY TODAY?

YOU KNOW, I WAS
SAYING IN THERAPY,
THAT, UH,

I DIDN'T REALLY
HAVE SEX THAT MUCH
IN COLLEGE.

ME NEITHER.

REALLY?

YOU DIDN'T JUST
PLAY AROUND?

YOU KNOW, JUST CURIOUS,

JUST LEARNIN' ABOUT SEX?

NO.

JUST PLAYING AROUND...

ATTRACTIVE STUDENTS,

ATTRACTIVE...
TEACHERS?

NOPE.

IN COLLEGE,
IT WAS JUST...

DONALD...

SANDRO...

MAX AND ARLO...

AND...JEFF.

AND THEN AFTER COLLEGE,

ART, DASHIELL,

MIKEY...

RICK...

YOU KNOW.

WHOA. WHOA,
WAIT A SECOND.

WHO'S MIKEY,
SOME 12-YEAR-OLD?

NO, JUST SOME GUY.

I'VE MENTIONED HIM
TO YOU, I'M SURE.

NO. WE WENT THROUGH
OUR LOVERS.

YOU NEVER HAD A MIKEY.

WELL, I FORGOT.

O-OR I LEFT IT OUT
ACCIDENTALLY.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

MAYBE WE
DIDN'T DO IT.
I DON'T REMEMBER.

[RING]MAYBE WE JUST DID,
LIKE, YOU KNOW...

OTHER STUFF,
EVERYTHING BUT.

[RING]MIKEY.

[MACHINE]
HI, IT'S RAMONA...

IT DIDN'T MEAN
ANYTHING.

[BEEP]

[DIAL TONE]GOOD, A HANG UP.

WELL, ARE THERE
ANY MORE?

DON'T WORRY.
I DIDN'T SLEEP WITH
A MILLION PEOPLE.

[CHUCKLES]

WELL, THAT'S
A HUGE RELIEF.

WE FOOLED AROUND
PRETTY QUICK.

WE SLEPT TOGETHER
ON THE FIRST DATE.

UH-HUH.

YOU WERE AWFUL TRUSTING.

FOR ALL YOU KNEW,
I COULD HAVE BEEN
SOME MANIAC.

WE USED A CONDOM.

TH-THAT'S NOT WHAT
I MEAN.

YOU COULD HAVE WAITED.

YOU COULD HAVE
LET ME WAIT.

WHAT?

WHY WERE YOU SO QUICK
TO MAKE LOVE TO ME?

I LIKED YOU.

SO YOU HOP IN THE SACK
WITH EVERYONE YOU LIKE?

NO.

WHAT?

ARE YOU USING
MY BEHAVIOR WITH YOU
AGAINST ME?

I'M JUST SAYING
THAT I THINK YOU MOVED
A LITTLE FAST WITH ME.

I DON'T BELIEVE YOU.

I'M JUST SAYING.

ARE YOU JEALOUS
OF YOURSELF?

I'M JUST SAYING.

I'M SORRY.

I'M SO SORRY.

I DIDN'T MEAN IT.

LESTER MUST HAVE BEEN SETTING
SOME KIND OF PERSONAL RECORD,

TAKING WEEKS TO READ
A 45-PAGE SHORT STORY.

TONIGHT, HOWEVER, HE CAME TO
THE END OF NOT ONLY THE STORY

BUT THE RELATIONSHIP
DASHIELL DEPICTED.

IN THE LAST PARAGRAPH,

DASHIELL QUOTED FROM
GUSTAVE FLAUBERT'S
THE SENTIMENTAL EDUCATION.

"IN EVERY PARTING,
THERE COMES A MOMENT

WHEN THE BELOVED
IS ALREADY GONE FROM US."

[RAMONA MURMURS]

DON'T...

BE GENTLE.

AND, UH--AHEM--

YOU WERE SAYING, LEO?

[BRITISH ACCENT]
YEAH, UM, SO,
INITIALLY,

SHE LIED AND SAID
THE GUY WASN'T THERE,

BUT IT TURNS OUT
THAT SHE'D INVITED
HER EX-BOYFRIEND OVER

BEHIND MY BACK.

AND...THEREIN IS--
IS THE LIE...

THAT IT--IT SETS A TONE

FOR THE ENTIRE
RELATIONSHIP.

YOU'RE ALWAYS, NOW,

YOU'RE ALWAYS PLAYING
CATCH UP.

A WEEK EARLIER,
LESTER HAD ASKED VINCE
FOR A FAVOR.

BECAUSE I--I HAVE
TO LEAVE THE ANALYSIS,

AND NOW YOU CAN COME IN
AND JUST CHANGE OVER
TO MY PROBLEMS.

I MEAN, TO VINCE'S
PROBLEMS.

TO YOUR PROBLEMS.

BECOME MYSELF.

RIGHT! RIGHT.
SEE, THAT WAY,
I CAN GET OUT,

AND YOU CAN STILL
BENEFIT.

SO YOU COME IN,
HELP ME OUT
A LITTLE BIT,

AND THEN SLOWLY
CHANGE OVER TO YOUR
REAL LIFE.

I MEAN, YOU'LL HAVE
TO USE DIFFERENT
NAMES AND MAKE UP
SOME STUFF,

BUT IT'LL WORK.

I MEAN, REALLY,
THERE ARE JUST A FEW
PROBLEMS OUT THERE
ANYWAY.

YOU'RE BOUND TO HAVE
MOST OF THEM.

WE MUST SHARE
A LOT OF THEM.

COME ON,
WHADDAYA SAY?

BE ME.

[BRITISH ACCENT]
AND THEN SHE LIED.

I MEAN, IT WAS
EARLY IN OUR RELATIONSHIP.

SHE SAYS WE WEREN'T
US THEN,

BUT I DUNNO,

TO ME IT SUGGESTS
A LACK OF COMMITMENT

[SCOTTISH ACCENT]
OOP FRONT...

[BRITISH AGAIN]
AND THAT IS
THE STARTING POINT.

THAT IS THE SPRINGBOARD
INTO THE RELATIONSHIP.

I CARE LESS NOW,

AND WHEN SHE COMES
[ROLLS Rs] RRROUND
WONDERING...

AND SO, AS AGREED UPON,

VINCE BECAME LESTER
NAMED LEO

WHILE LESTER REMAINED VINCE.

BUT WHY VINCE SPOKE WITH
AN ENGLISH ACCENT,

LESTER COULDN'T EVEN
BEGIN TO IMAGINE.

AND I FEEL ALSO,
NOW IF I SAY TO HER,

"DO YOU SMELL THAT?"
AND, "OH, YEAH, I SMELL IT."

DOES SHE? I DON'T KNOW.
BECAUSE YOU LIED BEFORE.

MAYBE YOU DON'T SMELL
THIS NOW.

MAYBE--

LEO?

YEAH.

DO YOU THINK
SHE STILL CARES ABOUT
THE BOYFRIEND?

AH...DO I, UH...

THINK SHE CARES?

DO I? I--

I DON'T KNOW. WHAT--

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

HOW DO I KNOW?
I--I...DON'T KNOW HER.

WELL, I GUESS IN MY
DEEPEST, DARKEST THOUGHTS,
SHE DOES,

MAYBE...F...YEAH.

YOU MENTIONED YOU'D BEEN
JEALOUS IN THE PAST, LEO.

WHY DON'T YOU
TALK ABOUT THAT?

UM...

EH...T-THIS HAS BEEN
A PATTERN.

WHEN I WAS 15,
I CAUGHT MY FIRST GIRLFRIEND

MAKING OUT WITH
A CLUB PROMOTER.

AND LATER ON IN COLLEGE,

I DATED THIS GIRL,
AND I BECAME QUITE OBSESSED

WITH THE NOTION
OF HER EX-BOYFRIEND,

THEN THE REALITY
OF HER EX-BOYFRIEND.

I TRAILED HIM AROUND
LIKE A DETECTIVE
TRAILING A SUBJECT.

I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU WENT OUT
WITH THIS GUY.

YOU KNOW WHAT KIND
OF REFLECTION
THAT IS ON ME?

AND SHE ENDED UP...
DOOMPING ME BECAUSE, AH...

I WASN'T AROUND MUCH.

OF COURSE, I WAS ALWAYS
WITH HER EX-BOYFRIEND.

IT'S A SELF-FULFILLING
PROPHECY, I GUESS.

I MEAN, I REGRET NOTHING.

IT JUST SEEMS I ALWAYS
GET TO THIS POINT IN
RELATIONSHIPS

WHERE MY JEALOUSY
KEEPS THEM

FROM MOVING ON
PAST A CERTAIN POINT.

UH...

I'M GETTING OLDER.

I'D LIKE TO--

SEEMS PERFECTLY
NORMAL TO ME.

YOUR GIRLFRIEND NOW...

LISA.

LISA POPADIMITRIO.

LISA WAS PROBABLY
INSECURE ABOUT
YOUR FEELINGS

AT SUCH A PREMATURE
TIME IN YOUR
RELATIONSHIP.

IT--IT PROTECTS HER,

KEEPS HER FROM GETTING
TOO INVOLVED.

SHE HASN'T SEEN
THIS GUY SINCE THE NIGHT

YOU RAN OVER TO HER
HOUSE, HAS SHE?

HMM...AH...
I DON'T...KNOW...

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

UH, NO. I--
I DOUBT IT.

[LAUGHS] I--

YEAH. YEAH, ME, TOO.

WELL,
SO DON'T WORRY, THEN.
YOU'RE A JEALOUS GUY.

WE ALL GET THAT WAY.
YOU'RE JUST EXPRESSING IT
MORE DEEPLY.

YES.

YES?

YES.

THAT'S GREAT.

AND HOW ARE THINGS
WITH LESTER, VINCE?

GOOD.

IS HE STILL PUSHING YOU
AWAY FROM THE MARRIAGE?

NO, NO, NO.
HE'S--HE'S BETTER
ABOUT THAT.

HAVE YOU FELT MORE
AWARE OF HIS...
ULTERIOR MOTIVES?

SO ALL THIS TIME,
THEY'VE BEEN TELLING ME

NOT TO HANG OUT
WITH YOU.

NO, THEY'VE BEEN
TELLING ME NOT TO
HANG OUT WITH ME.

YOU HID THAT FROM ME.

THAT'S A VALUABLE PART
OF MY THERAPY, AND YOU
HID IT FROM ME.

NOW I DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO DO.

I'M PROBABLY
HALF A DIAGNOSIS.
I'M HALF A MAN!

BUT YOU AND LUCRETIA
ARE GETTING ALONG
SO WELL.

IT'S PROBABLY
AN ILLUSION.
WE'RE LIVING A LIE.

DON'T BE SO DRAMATIC.

YOU CAN'T MESS
WITH THESE THINGS.

IT'S LIKE
A CHROMOSOMAL MAKEUP.

AND YOU WERE HURTFUL
AND MEAN IN THERAPY.

I WAS--AND--AND--

WHY IN GOD'S NAME
WERE YOU SPEAKING
WITH A BRITISH ACCENT?

I DON'T KNOW.
HE FEELS BRITISH TO ME.
LEO FEELS BRITISH.

LEO FEELS--
LEO'S SUPPOSED TO
BE ME!

LOOK, IT'S A CHOICE
I MADE, AND I STICK
BY IT.

IF YOU'RE UNHAPPY
WITH IT, I'LL TRY
SOMETHING ELSE
NEXT SESSION.

YOU CAN'T VERY WELL
CHANGE IT NOW, CAN YOU?

NO, I SUPPOSE THAT
WOULD BE CONFUSING.

ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT.
IT'S OVER.
THERAPY IS OVER.

WE'RE TERMINATING
OUR ANALYSIS.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

THE NEW VINCE
DOESN'T FEEL LIKE
BEING WITH YOU
SUDDENLY.

THE NEXT SESSION,
RAMONA THOUGHT SHE'D
SURPRISE LESTER AFTER THERAPY.

IN HER HASTE,
SHE ACTUALLY RECALLED
THE ADDRESS INCORRECTLY,

AND REINVERTED THE DIGITS
4 AND 6

AND WENT TO 264 WEST 4th STREET,

WHICH, IN FACT,
WAS THE RIGHT ADDRESS.

CONFUSED AND SUSPICIOUS,

THAT EVENING,
RAMONA AND LUCRETIA
TOOK IN A SHOW

OF THE BLACK AND WHITE
THE MAN WHO SHOT LIBERTY
VALANCE.

AND THEN THEY WAITED
FOR THEIR BOYFRIENDS.

BUT UNTIL THEY HAD FURTHER PROOF
OF WHAT EXACTLY WAS GOING ON,

THEY SWORE EACH OTHER
TO SECRECY.

LESTER?

YEAH?

THE MAN WHO SHOT
LIBERTY VALANCE
IS IN BLACK AND WHITE.

YEAH?

YOU SAID IT WAS
IN GLORIOUS COLOR.

YEAH.

REMEMBER THAT?

YEAH.

SO--WHAT'S
YOUR POINT?

ARE YOU HAVING
AN AFFAIR?

WHAT?

WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?

YES OR NO.

NO, OF COURSE NOT.

WELL, I DON'T KNOW.
YOU'RE PREOCCUPIED.

THE MOVIE IS IN COLOR.

WE DON'T SEE AS MUCH
OF ONE ANOTHER.

WE HAVEN'T MADE LOVE
IN OVER A WEEK,
I THINK.

I'M ABSOLUTELY NOT
HAVING AN AFFAIR.

ARE YOU?

NO.

AND I, UM, FINALLY
GOT THE NERVE

TO GET THE CABARET
ACT UP AND GOING.

I THINK IT WILL
BE WELL RECEIVED.

VINCE,

ANYTHING YOU'D LIKE
TO, UM, TALK ABOUT?

NO. I'M GOOD TODAY.

LUCRETIA AND I HAD
A BIG TALK.

I FEEL FINE.

FEEL FREE TO PIPE IN
AT ANY TIME.

LEO?

NO, I'M FINE.
THANKS.

DASHIELL?

4 DAYS AGO, I HAD
TO MAKE SOME CALLS.

BUSINESS. MY AGENT,
MY EDITOR,

A PRODUCER WHO WANTS TO
OPTION THE SENSUALIS.

SUDDENLY, I--

FOUND MYSELF
LOOKING UP A NAME IN
THE PHONE BOOK...

RAMONA RAY, MY EX.

SHE WAS LISTED.

I LET THE PHONE RING
ONCE...

TWICE, MY FINGER ON
THE HANG-UP BUTTON,

PRAYING, OF COURSE,
SHE DOESN'T HAVE THAT
CALLER ID.

AND THEN I HEAR THIS VOICE.
"HELLO."

I LISTENED,
I JUST SAT THERE.

"HELLO,"
SHE REPEATED.

"HELLO."

I FINALLY HUNG UP.

IT WAS CHILDISH,
I KNOW, BUT...

A LOT OF WHAT
WE TALKED ABOUT

RACED THROUGH MY HEAD.

THINGS I'VE BEEN
TRYING TO WRITE,

FRIENDSHIPS I'VE
FORMED RECENTLY.

VINCE, LEO.

I THINK THAT WE HAVE
ALL BEEN GETTING
BETTER TOGETHER,

FIGURING OUT
OUR RELATIONSHIPS.

AND I DON'T GENERALLY
BELIEVE IN LUCK OR FAITH.

BUT ONE DAY
AFTER THERAPY,

WHEN I CAME OUT OF
THE BUILDING,

AND THERE WAS RAMONA.

SHE WAS WITH A FRIEND,
WHO I GUESS I'D MET
A FEW YEARS AGO

WHEN WE WERE TOGETHER.

I WAS IN SHOCK BECAUSE
I'D BEEN THINKING
SO MUCH OF HER LATELY,

AND SHE SUDDENLY
MATERIALIZED IN FRONT OF ME.

SHE CAME TOWARDS ME
AND I ASKED HER TO
TAKE A WALK WITH ME.

WE TALKED.
WE TALKED FOR A WHILE,
WE HAD COFFEE.

IT WAS A LITTLE AWKWARD,
YES,

BUT IT WAS SO GOOD
TO SEE HER.

SHE'S GOT THIS GREAT JOB
AT THE BROOKLYN MUSEUM.

SO SHE WAS IN
GREAT SPIRITS.

SHE HAD A WHOLE OTHER
ART DEGREE WHEN I KNEW HER.

NOW SHE HAS, LIKE, 4.

AND HER ACCENT,
HER ADORABLE BROOKLYN ACCENT

THAT SHE'D BEEN TRYING
TO LOSE HAS TURNED INTO
SOMETHING SO ELEGANT,

SO UN-BROOKLYN.

WE TALKED ABOUT
HER WANTING TO GET OUT.

SHE WANTS TO MOVE
TO MANHATTAN.

ABOUT THE FILM
SHE WANTS TO MAKE
ABOUT BROOKLYN.

IT WAS GREAT TO FOCUS
ONLY ON HER.

IT WAS ALL ABOUT ME
YEARS BEFORE.

I DON'T KNOW.

I--I LOVED FLIRTING
WITH HER AGAIN.

OUR RELATIONSHIP
HAD TURNED SO SOUR,

AND--TO WONDER AGAIN,
TO--

IMAGINE HER NAKED.

TO RE-FALL IN LOVE
WAS SUCH AN EXPERIENCE,

BETTER THAN IF
WE'D NEVER MET.

FOR THE FIRST TIME,

I UNDERSTOOD WHY
PEOPLE WOULD REMARRY.

AND DID SHE SEEM
TO FEEL THE SAME WAY
FOR YOU?

I DON'T KNOW.

I DON'T KNOW.
SHE LIKED TALKING TO ME
AND--

AFTERWARDS WHEN
WE MADE LOVE,

I KNEW SHE WANTED
TO MAKE LOVE TO ME.

THAT MUCH I DO KNOW.

WHAT A GREAT
NEW YORK STORY.

IT'S LIKE A GODDAMN
FANTASY.

Lester:
I'M GONNA DO SOMETHING.

Man: HMM.

Woman:
WHERE'S HE GOING?

DASHIELL.

YOU MENTIONED ANOTHER
GIRL WITH RAMONA.

YES.

THAT'S GREAT. FINE.

JUST CHECKING.

WHO ARE YOU
WAITING FOR?

YOU LIED TO ME.

YOU SLEPT WITH HIM.

YES.

OK, I'M JUST GLAD
YOUR STORIES ARE STRAIGHT.

Dashiell:
VINCE.
ISN'T THAT WHAT
YOU WANTED?

VINCE!

UH, YEAH, YEAH.

VINCE, WHAT ARE
YOU DOING?

I'M IN THERAPY.

WHAT? WHY ARE
YOU BRITISH?

RAMONA. VINCE,
I NEED TO TALK TO YOU.

AND WHY IS HE
CALLING LESTER,
VINCE?

UH, BECAUSE THAT'S
THE NAME LESTER GOES BY
IN OUR GROUP THERAPY.

HEY, LESTER,
YOU LIED TO ME ABOUT
ALMOST EVERYTHING

THAT EXISTS
BETWEEN US.

Lester: YEAH.
YOU MADE
THIS HAPPEN.

Lester: RAMONA.VINCE,
YOU KNOW RAMONA?

I THINK WE ALL HAVE
OUR DIFFERENT WAYS
OF RUINING THINGS.

LESTER.YES?

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU,
VINCE.

RAMONA, YOU KNOW--
LESTER.

I JUST WISH YOU COULD BE
AS JEALOUS OF ME AS
I AM OF YOU.

WE LOVE DIFFERENTLY,
LESTER.

AND YOU BOTH KNOW
EACH OTHER.

SHE'S MY GIRLFRIEND,
DASH.

Lucretia:
I CAN'T
BELIEVE THIS.

I'M SORRY, DR. POKE.

AND THAT'S MY FIANCEE,
VINCE.

OH, GOD.
SO YOU'RE VINCE?

I'M--LEO.

NO, YOU'RE VINCE NOW.

OK, I'M VINCE.

I KNEW NO ONE WHO
SOUNDED LIKE THAT

COULD POSSIBLY
BE BRITISH.

SO YOU'RE VINCE.
YOU'RE THE ONE
GETTING MARRIED.

YOU'RE THE ONE WHO
WISHES HIS FIANCEE BE
MORE OPEN

ABOUT DIFFERENT
SEXUAL POSITIONS.

OH, VINCE.

RAMONA.RAMONA.

SHUT UP
FOR A MINUTE!

Lucretia:
HOW COULD YOU
DO THIS TO ME?

RAMONA, DID YOU KNOW
THIS IS...

YOU SUCK!

Vince: LU, LU!
LUCRETIA!

PERHAPS WE SHOULD
ALL GO BACK INSIDE.

YOU SON OF A BITCH.

Ramona: GEEZ.

SHE'S MY GIRLFRIEND!

OW!

I'VE--NEVER HIT
ANYONE BEFORE.

IT'S ONLY MY SECOND.

I'M SORRY.

♪ I LOVE YOU IN THE MORNING

♪ OUR KISSES DEEP AND WARM

Narrator:
THE SAD THING, LESTER THOUGHT,

THAT IN ALL THIS HE'D JUST
BECOME WHAT HE DETESTED MOST,

RAMONA'S EX-BOYFRIEND.

♪ MANY LOVED BEFORE US

♪ I KNOW THAT WE ARE NOT
NEW IN THE CITY ♪

♪ AND IN THE FORESTS
THEY SMILED LIKE ME AND YOU ♪

♪ BUT NOW...

SEVERAL MONTHS LATER
AT THE UNIVERSITY OF IOWA.

LESTER! LESTER!YEAH?

WE JUST WANTED
TO TELL YOU

THAT WE THINK
THAT YOUR PLAY
IS REALLY TERRIFIC.

IT WAS REALLY
NICELY DONE.

JESUS, IT WAS
SO INVOLVED.

I MEAN, THE GUY,
HE FOLLOWS HIS GIRLFRIEND'S
EX-BOYFRIEND,

AND HE JOINS
HIS GROUP THERAPY.

I MEAN, IT WAS WILD,
YOU KNOW.

YEAH, THEN THE
EX-BOYFRIEND TURNS
OUT TO BE A KILLER.

YEAH, THAT WAS...

I WAS REALLY
BLOWN AWAY BY IT.

THANK YOU.

NO OFFENSE, BUT IT
WAS MUCH BETTER THAN
YOUR OTHER PLAY,

THE ONE ABOUT
THE 3 MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN

WHO ARE DRIVING
CROSS-COUNTRY.
THEY WERE ALCOHOLICS.

YEAH, THAT WAS
A LITTLE MISGUIDED.

WELL...

WELL,
WE'LL SEE YOU.

YEAH.
GREAT WORK, MAN.

THANK YOU.

♪ YOU KNOW MY LOVE
GOES WITH YOU ♪

LESTER LOVED SCHOOL.

HE LIVED ALONE IN HIS
STUDIO APARTMENT IN IOWA,

WITHOUT A TV
I MIGHT ADD,

AND WROTE.

LESTER WAS INVITED
TO NEW YORK FOR A WEDDING,

AND HIS MIND FELL BACK
ON OLDER TIMES.

HE DIDN'T KNOW WHY,

BUT HE BEGAN TO SEARCH
HIS POOR MEMORY

IN AN ATTEMPT
TO HAVE IT OVER AGAIN.

I DO A PRETTY GOOD
MUPPET WALK.

♪ ...WE SAID GOOD-BYE

♪ I LOVED YOU
IN THE MORNING ♪

♪ OUR KISSES
DEEP AND WARM ♪

♪ YOUR HEAD ON THE PILLOW

♪ LIKE A SLEEPY,
GOLDEN STORM ♪

♪ MANY LOVED BEFORE US

♪ I KNOW THAT WE ARE NOT
NEW IN THE CITY ♪

♪ AND IN THE FOREST
THEY SMILED LIKE ME AND YOU ♪

WHEN RAMONA HAD DECIDED
TO GO BACK INTO THERAPY,

SHE HESITATED CALLING
DR. POKE.

HE HAD BEEN, AFTER ALL,
LESTER'S PSYCHIATRIST.

BUT AS TIME PROGRESSED,
SHE HADN'T MET ANYONE
SHE LIKED,

AND DR. POKE'S REPUTATION
WAS QUITE IMPRESSIVE.

THEY MET, AND THE TALKS
WERE VALUABLE.

AND WHEN IT GOT
RIGHT DOWN TO IT,

HE REALLY KNEW
NOTHING ABOUT THE REAL LESTER.

OH, SO, HEY.

I CROSSED THE STREET
ALL LAST WEEK

AND IT DIDN'T MATTER
HOW MANY PIGEONS WERE
AROUND ME

OR IF THE LIGHT
WAS BLINKING WHEN
I GOT TO THE OTHER
SIDE OF THE STREET.

WELL, AS LONG AS YOU
CROSS ON THE GREEN.

OH, YEAH, OF COURSE,

ON THE GREEN,
ON THE GREEN.

[Man speaking]
...THE FOUNDATION
OF A CIVILIZED NATION.

NOW, IN KEEPING WITH
THE PERSONALIZED NATURE
OF THIS SERVICE,

VINCE AND LUCRETIA
HAVE WRITTEN THEIR OWN VOWS.

THANKS.

GO AHEAD.

[VINCE CLEARS THROAT]

LUCRETIA, AS WE EMBARK
ON WHAT WILL HOPEFULLY BE

A LIFELONG JOURNEY
TOGETHER,

UH, I FIND MYSELF
ASKING MYSELF
WHAT IS A MARRIAGE?

WEBSTER'S DEFINES
MARRIAGE VERY SUCCINCTLY,
VERY CLINICALLY,

AND TOLD ME NOTHING
I DIDN'T ALREADY KNOW.

UH, FRIENDS AND FAMILY
ALL ECHOED SIMILAR THEMES.

AND YET STILL,
I FOUND NO ENLIGHTENMENT.

AND THEN IT HIT ME.

[VOICE BREAKING]
TRUE LOVE DEFIES
DEFIN--

[CLEARS THROAT]
TRUE LOVE DEFIES
DEFINITION.

IT IS A MYSTERY.

TREE, THEY ADEQUATELY
NAMED THIS FOREST STAPLE,

BUT SAYS NOTHING
OF ITS COMPLEXITIES.

THUSLY, I TAKE YOUR HAND,

AND TOGETHER WE STEP
TOGETHER INTO A VOID,

A DARKNESS THAT WE WILL
ILLUMINATE WITH OUR HEARTS

AND CREATE
OUR OWN DEFINITION,

ONE THAT MR. WEBSTER
COULD NEVER CONCEIVE OF.

I BELIEVE AND KNOW
IT WAS FATED THAT WE MEET.

AND IF IT WASN'T
AT THE MILO O'SHAY
ST. PATTY'S DAY DO--

UH, DAY DO--

IT WOULD HAVE BEEN
IN SOME OTHER BAR.

SORRY, MOM.

AS ROGER DALTREY SAYS,

"ONE AND ONE DON'T MAKE TWO,

ONE AND ONE MAKE ONE."

THANK YOU.

OH, AND WITH YOU, LUC,

ONE ISN'T THE ONLY--
ISN'T THE LONELIEST NUMBER.

THANK YOU, LESTER.
SORRY I BOTCHED THAT.

UH, LUCRETIA, THANKS FOR
THE JELLO SHOTS THOSE
8 YEARS AGO.

THANK YOU.
AND THANK YOU FOR
THAT EVENING 8 YEARS AGO.

THANKS FOR ACCEPTING
MY PROPOSAL 4 YEARS AGO.

AND THANKS FOR GOING
THROUGH WITH MARRYING
ME TODAY.

I AM ETERNALLY GRATEFUL
AND TERMINALLY SMITTEN.

LOVE, VINCE.

[CLEARS THROAT]
VINCE, I LOVE YOU

AND I WANT TO
SPEND THE REST OF
MY LIFE WITH YOU,

AND I INTEND TO.

AND NOW YOU MAY
KISS THE BRIDE.

HOW'S L.A.?

IT'S GOOD.

HOW'S IOWA?

GOOD.

I READ THAT
SHORT STORY OF YOURS
IN THE NEW YORKE.

IT WAS GREAT,
REALLY TOUCHING.

MY CLASSMATES ARE
JEALOUS I KNOW YOU.

THEY RESPECT
YOU A LOT.

THANK YOU.

I--FINALLY FINISHED
YOUR BOOK.

YEAH?
WHAT'D YOU THINK?

I LIKED IT.

I THOUGHT THE LAST
STORY WAS A LITTLE
LONG AT THE END.

I THINK YOU WERE
A HELP TO VINCE.

I THINK THE MARRIAGE
WILL BENEFIT FROM
YOUR HELP.

I STILL EXPECTED
TO SEE YOU UP THERE
GETTING MARRIED.

YEAH, WELL.

NO. QUIT.

[WALTZ MUSIC PLAYING]

WHEN YOU BREAK UP
WITH SOMEONE

YOU GET THAT
DRAMATIC FEELING
LIKE--

THAT WAS IT.

I'M NEVER GONNA SEE THAT
PERSON AGAIN IN MY LIFE.

THEN YOU RUN INTO HIM
AT A WEDDING.

AND IT RUINS THE DRAMA.

IT'S LIKE THAT
IN THE BEGINNING, TOO.

IT'S NOT JUST
A KISS AND LOVE BEGINS.

I GUESS WE HAD TO
FIGURE OUT OUR OWN
STORIES, TOO.

I GUESS WE DID.

HEY, HOW DOES
YOUR STORY END, LESTER?

I'VE JUST--

GOT USED TO BEING
WITHOUT YOU.

I KNOW.

IT TOOK ME A WHILE
TO STOP THINKING
OF MYSELF

AS YOUR BOYFRIEND.

AND EVEN LONGER
TO STOP THINKING
OF MYSELF

AS YOUR EX-BOYFRIEND...

TO STOP THINKING OF
MYSELF IN REFERENCE
TO YOU.

Narrator:
SHE THINKS IT'LL
NEVER WORK OUT;

WE'RE DIFFERENT NOW.

HE THINKS,
I MESSED THIS UP ONCE,

WHO THINKS I'LL BE BETTER
THIS TIME?

AND YET, WITH ALL THIS
FATALISM FLOATING AROUND
IN THEIR BRAINS,

THEY COULDN'T MOVE
AWAY FROM EACH OTHER.

WHO WAS THAT GUY
OVER THERE THAT
YOU WERE TALKING TO?

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
BMG VIDEO

CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY
THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING
INSTITUTE, INC.♪ I WAS DREAMING OF THE PAST

♪ AND MY HEART WAS
BEATING FAST ♪

♪ I BEGAN TO LOSE CONTROL

♪ I BEGAN
TO LOSE CONTROL ♪

♪ I DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT YOU

♪ I'M SORRY THAT
I MADE YOU CRY ♪

♪ I DIDN'T WANT TO HURT YOU

♪ I'M JUST A JEALOUS GUY

♪ I WAS FEELING INSECURE

♪ YOU MIGHT NOT
LOVE ME ANYMORE ♪

♪ I WAS SHIVERING INSIDE

♪ I WAS SHIVERING
INSIDE ♪

♪ I DIDN'T MEAN
TO HURT YOU ♪

♪ I'M SORRY THAT
I MADE YOU CRY ♪

♪ I DIDN'T WANT
TO HURT YOU ♪

♪ I'M JUST A JEALOUS GUY

♪ I DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT YOU

♪ I'M SORRY THAT
I MADE YOU CRY ♪

♪ I DIDN'T WANT
TO HURT YOU ♪

♪ I'M JUST A JEALOUS GUY

♪ I WAS TRYING
TO CATCH YOUR EYE ♪

♪ THOUGHT THAT YOU
WERE TRYING TO HIDE ♪

♪ I WAS SWALLOWING
MY PAIN ♪

♪ I WAS SWALLOWING
MY PAIN ♪

♪ I DIDN'T MEAN
TO HURT YOU ♪

♪ I'M SORRY THAT
I MADE YOU CRY ♪

♪ I DIDN'T WANT
TO HURT YOU ♪

♪ I'M JUST A JEALOUS GUY

♪ I'M JUST
A JEALOUS GUY ♪

♪ I'M JUST A JEALOUS GUY

I'M NOT PLAYING
ANOTHER GAME.

LET'S PACK THEM UP.

I'D SOONER MAKE
CASTLES WITH THEM.

I'M NOT BRINGING THEM
AGAIN, EITHER.

I DON'T ASK YOU
TO BRING THEM.

IT'S JUST LIKE WHEN
WE USED TO PLAY D and D.

YOU'RE SO EXCITED.
YOU'RE PROBABLY HERE
HOURS EARLIER

GETTING 'EM READY.

OK, OK.
YOU STILL HAVE
MY 20-SIDED DICE, TOO.

THAT'S FROM--
WE WERE 12!

I WOULD LIKE IT BACK.

I DON'T KNOW
WHERE IT IS.

WE WERE 12,
WE WERE 15,
WE WERE 32.

WHAT DIFFERENCE
DOES IT MAKE?

THERE WE GO.
PLEASE, TRANSLATE.

I NEED -- I NEED --

TIME HAS NO MEANING.

WHAT WE NEED
IS SUBTITLES.

THANK YOU.
THAT'S HELPFUL.

TIME HAS NO MEANING,
SO I GUESS I'D BETTER...

VINCE NEEDS CONSTANT
SUBTITLES LIKE
THE OPERAS

SO WE KNOW WHAT'S
REALLY BEING SAID.

THAT'S GOOD AT THE OPERA.
I SAW TRAVIATAWITH LUCRETIA.

YEAH.
REALLY?

YOU'VE BECOME
SO UH--

I WENT THAT ONE TIME.

REALLY?THIN.

YOU'VE LOST WEIGHT
IN YOUR FACE.

OH, YEAH!

IN THE JOWLS.

YOU'VE LOST WEIGHT
IN YOUR JOWLS.

TO SAY I HAVE JOWLS
IMPLIES THAT I WAS--HEAVY.

WELL--YES.

THERE WAS
THAT PERIOD...

YES.

IN YOUR, UH,
MID TO LATE 20s
WHEN YOU--

YOU PORKED OUT.

YEAH.

YOU SHOULD DO THIS
WHEN YOU GO TO SLEEP.

I DO THAT.