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♪ ♪
2
00:00:23,458 --> 00:00:25,917
♪ ♪
3
00:00:41,500 --> 00:00:43,583
I've read every
book in this library
4
00:00:43,750 --> 00:00:47,375
but I can't find a story
about a girl like me.
5
00:00:47,500 --> 00:00:49,083
Girls in books
always have a moment
6
00:00:49,167 --> 00:00:51,083
where everything changes
7
00:00:51,208 --> 00:00:53,708
but my moment
still hasn't happened.
8
00:00:53,833 --> 00:00:58,000
Today is like yesterday.
Tomorrow never comes.
9
00:00:58,125 --> 00:01:00,375
I know what usually
starts an adventure
10
00:01:00,500 --> 00:01:02,958
the arrival of a mysterious hero
11
00:01:03,083 --> 00:01:07,083
a Mr. Darcy, a
Mr. Rochester, a Rhett Butler
12
00:01:07,167 --> 00:01:09,208
who turns everything
upside down.
13
00:01:09,375 --> 00:01:10,583
I am not closed-minded
14
00:01:10,708 --> 00:01:13,083
but finding the
romantic hero of our age
15
00:01:13,125 --> 00:01:16,250
in Wolverhampton seems unlikely.
16
00:01:20,875 --> 00:01:22,625
♪ ♪
17
00:01:28,708 --> 00:01:30,792
♪ ♪
18
00:01:43,417 --> 00:01:47,083
♪ Riding on any wave
that is the luck you crave ♪
19
00:01:47,333 --> 00:01:51,208
♪ They don't believe it now
they just think it's stupid ♪
20
00:01:51,333 --> 00:01:53,333
♪ So got anything? ♪
21
00:01:53,417 --> 00:01:55,292
♪ Anyone could have done ♪
22
00:01:55,500 --> 00:01:58,000
♪ Who would've
cared at all not you ♪
23
00:01:59,833 --> 00:02:03,875
♪ Another heart
has made the trade ♪
24
00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:06,750
♪ Forget it
forget it forget it ♪
25
00:02:06,833 --> 00:02:09,625
♪ I don't understand
how a heart is a spade ♪
26
00:02:13,917 --> 00:02:14,917
- Ah.
27
00:02:22,167 --> 00:02:25,625
No, I do not think my
adventure starts with a boy.
28
00:02:25,750 --> 00:02:27,667
I think it starts with me.
29
00:02:28,125 --> 00:02:30,458
♪ ♪
30
00:02:43,708 --> 00:02:46,167
Like all great heroes,
I have a sidekick
31
00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:48,333
my faithful dog, Bianca.
32
00:02:48,417 --> 00:02:50,417
I also have a plan.
33
00:02:50,583 --> 00:02:52,250
I'm going to be a writer.
34
00:02:52,333 --> 00:02:55,167
What kind of writer?
I don't know yet.
35
00:02:55,292 --> 00:02:58,125
The kind that is totally amazing
36
00:02:58,292 --> 00:03:00,375
travels the world, has sex
37
00:03:00,458 --> 00:03:03,917
and writes powerful truths
that change people's lives.
38
00:03:04,042 --> 00:03:05,375
- Oi!
39
00:03:06,833 --> 00:03:07,917
Go on, fatty!
40
00:03:14,292 --> 00:03:16,708
Are you a lezzer?
Are you a lezzer?
41
00:03:16,917 --> 00:03:19,958
After all, I know the impact
a great book can have.
42
00:03:20,083 --> 00:03:21,167
Ow!
43
00:03:21,292 --> 00:03:23,167
♪ ♪
44
00:03:24,500 --> 00:03:26,042
I know what you're thinking.
45
00:03:26,125 --> 00:03:27,750
There are a few key differences
46
00:03:27,917 --> 00:03:29,625
between me and
your typical heroine.
47
00:03:29,708 --> 00:03:31,542
- You alright, bab?
- Hi, Dad.
48
00:03:31,708 --> 00:03:34,083
For starters, I am
not a tragic orphan.
49
00:03:35,542 --> 00:03:38,417
I actually have
too many brothers.
50
00:03:38,542 --> 00:03:40,958
Four, which is simply excessive.
51
00:03:41,083 --> 00:03:43,417
And then there's my
mother's postnatal depression
52
00:03:43,542 --> 00:03:45,042
which you should
absolutely expect
53
00:03:45,167 --> 00:03:48,125
if you get pregnant at 38. Ugh.
54
00:03:48,583 --> 00:03:49,458
Unlike Virginia Woolf,
55
00:03:49,500 --> 00:03:51,750
I don't even have a
room of one's own.
56
00:03:52,042 --> 00:03:54,917
This is Krissi's room with
a partition down the middle.
57
00:03:55,167 --> 00:03:56,625
Like Berlin.
58
00:04:03,250 --> 00:04:05,417
But, here, I have
everything I need.
59
00:04:05,542 --> 00:04:08,292
Elizabeth Taylor,
the Bronte sisters
60
00:04:08,375 --> 00:04:11,083
Donna Summer, Dr. Sigmund Freud.
61
00:04:11,250 --> 00:04:14,833
- Good morning, Johanna.
- Hey, Brontes. Good times, ja?
62
00:04:14,958 --> 00:04:17,667
I have the love and wise
counsel of my God Wall.
63
00:04:17,750 --> 00:04:20,333
- What a beautiful day!
64
00:04:20,458 --> 00:04:23,000
- I regret to say that
despite my best intentions
65
00:04:23,125 --> 00:04:25,167
today has been
another miserable one.
66
00:04:25,292 --> 00:04:27,708
- Well, missy, I've
had plenty of those.
67
00:04:27,833 --> 00:04:31,500
- There's nothing a little
musical number can't cure.
68
00:04:31,625 --> 00:04:34,208
- How much longer am I
going to have to be here?
69
00:04:34,292 --> 00:04:36,417
I need something to happen.
70
00:04:36,583 --> 00:04:39,750
I want to burn! I
want to explode!
71
00:04:39,917 --> 00:04:42,667
Oh, I want to have
sexual intercourse
72
00:04:42,750 --> 00:04:44,708
with someone who has a car.
73
00:04:45,083 --> 00:04:46,458
- What's a car?
74
00:04:50,458 --> 00:04:52,500
- How do I get there from here?
75
00:04:58,292 --> 00:05:00,500
- Come on, repulsive.
It's the news.
76
00:05:00,667 --> 00:05:02,833
The real news. Bong.
77
00:05:02,917 --> 00:05:04,208
Top of the Pops.
78
00:05:05,708 --> 00:05:07,500
- Come here, Smudge.
79
00:05:09,250 --> 00:05:11,500
- Would the people in the
cheaper seats clap your hands?
80
00:05:11,625 --> 00:05:14,333
And the rest of you, if
you'll just rattle your jewelry.
81
00:05:18,083 --> 00:05:19,958
♪ ♪
82
00:05:22,833 --> 00:05:25,333
- Who are these?
- Happy Mondays.
83
00:05:25,583 --> 00:05:27,833
I'm putting 'em on the
front cover of the "Fanzine."
84
00:05:27,958 --> 00:05:30,083
Do you know nothing of
popular culture, Johanna?
85
00:05:30,208 --> 00:05:32,125
- Fuck me. I could
do better than this lot.
86
00:05:32,208 --> 00:05:34,333
They look like a
bunch of brickies.
87
00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:37,083
Where's a nice poofy
spaceman when you need one?
88
00:05:37,167 --> 00:05:40,125
I miss Bowie.
- How are you feeling, mum?
89
00:05:40,250 --> 00:05:42,500
- I'm becoming evil.
- Nice one, bab.
90
00:05:42,667 --> 00:05:45,125
- I'd kill for 20
minutes' sleep.
91
00:05:45,667 --> 00:05:47,583
I'd kill the last
panda on Earth.
92
00:05:47,667 --> 00:05:50,833
I'd cuddle up in its furry
corpse for a bit of shuteye.
93
00:05:51,292 --> 00:05:53,417
- You've still got those
sexy eyes, though, love.
94
00:05:53,542 --> 00:05:55,167
- Still can't sit down, huh?
95
00:05:55,292 --> 00:05:57,792
- Oh, God, it's like the
Joker's smile down there.
96
00:05:57,917 --> 00:05:59,167
- Ah, take your coat off.
97
00:05:59,333 --> 00:06:00,750
You won't feel
the benefit, cooker.
98
00:06:00,792 --> 00:06:03,500
- Oh, Pat, it took
half a tit to get him off.
99
00:06:03,625 --> 00:06:05,542
- This is ecstasy funk, Dad.
100
00:06:05,667 --> 00:06:08,625
- I can't stand it when amateurs
take over from proper jazzers.
101
00:06:08,750 --> 00:06:10,917
They've crossed the
cultural picket line, this lot.
102
00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:13,000
Scabs! Scabs!
- Dad, shush.
103
00:06:13,167 --> 00:06:14,458
I'm trying to hear.
104
00:06:14,542 --> 00:06:16,142
- I just wanna get
back in the game, love
105
00:06:16,292 --> 00:06:17,625
back on top.
106
00:06:17,750 --> 00:06:19,667
For I'm the bastard
son of Brendan Behan
107
00:06:19,750 --> 00:06:21,875
and one day, these fuckers
will all bow down to me.
108
00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:23,333
- To me, yes, yes.
109
00:06:23,708 --> 00:06:25,042
- Johanna Morrigan...
110
00:06:26,208 --> 00:06:29,292
- Ovulate quietly.
- No, no, I've been chosen!
111
00:06:29,458 --> 00:06:31,250
- What?
- Listen! Listen!
112
00:06:31,333 --> 00:06:34,333
- Our young poet of
the Midlands finalists.
113
00:06:34,792 --> 00:06:37,333
- Tomorrow has come.
- Are you going to be on telly?
114
00:06:37,458 --> 00:06:40,125
- From your writing?
- Birmingham?
115
00:06:40,292 --> 00:06:42,000
It's gonna be at least
a tenner in petrol.
116
00:06:42,375 --> 00:06:43,667
- What am I going to wear?
117
00:06:43,792 --> 00:06:46,000
- Krissi, turn that
fire off. We're broke.
118
00:06:46,042 --> 00:06:47,559
There's me bloke from Stoke.
119
00:06:47,583 --> 00:06:49,208
Here you are,
son, hand him over.
120
00:06:49,292 --> 00:06:50,583
- Can we keep him, Dad?
121
00:06:50,750 --> 00:06:53,042
- No, mate. Hounds
for pounds, innit, eh?
122
00:06:53,125 --> 00:06:57,042
Johanna.
- Please, Dad. Please!
123
00:06:58,042 --> 00:07:00,125
- Yeah. Happy
Mondays on the cover
124
00:07:00,250 --> 00:07:03,917
and then a think piece
about Riot Grrrl inside...
125
00:07:04,250 --> 00:07:06,000
- This is my
turning point, Krissi.
126
00:07:06,042 --> 00:07:08,917
I'm going to get out of
here. Become a writer.
127
00:07:09,333 --> 00:07:12,083
And everyone wants to have a
date with people who are on TV.
128
00:07:12,125 --> 00:07:13,125
It's just a fact.
129
00:07:13,167 --> 00:07:14,708
- For a tenner
130
00:07:14,750 --> 00:07:16,625
I'd probably have
a go on Andy Bibby.
131
00:07:16,750 --> 00:07:19,875
- Andy Bibby farts on his own
hands and throws them at people
132
00:07:20,125 --> 00:07:21,583
shouting "Turtle Power."
133
00:07:21,625 --> 00:07:24,042
- Well, we could conduct
our relationship downwind.
134
00:07:24,292 --> 00:07:27,083
- What about Richard Moseley?
He's tall. Value for money.
135
00:07:27,125 --> 00:07:29,708
- Richard Moseley once
shot a snail with an air rifle.
136
00:07:31,792 --> 00:07:34,750
John Kellog has a good bag.
137
00:07:34,875 --> 00:07:36,792
- And so Chaucer was
one of the first poets
138
00:07:37,042 --> 00:07:38,583
to use the five-stress line
139
00:07:38,667 --> 00:07:42,167
the decasyllabic cousin
to the iambic pentameter
140
00:07:42,333 --> 00:07:43,976
the man who helped
standardize Middle English
141
00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:47,208
a daring satirist,
a protofeminist
142
00:07:47,333 --> 00:07:49,458
and not, as surmised
by Lee Bacon
143
00:07:49,625 --> 00:07:51,292
just shit at spelling.
144
00:07:51,375 --> 00:07:53,042
- Oh, nice one.
- So...
145
00:08:02,333 --> 00:08:04,750
- Did you like my essay, Mrs. B?
- Mrs. Belling.
146
00:08:04,875 --> 00:08:06,667
It was your best yet, Johanna.
147
00:08:06,792 --> 00:08:09,292
A very entertaining 33 pages.
148
00:08:09,375 --> 00:08:10,958
You're very generous
with your words.
149
00:08:11,125 --> 00:08:13,085
- Artistic expression is
the greatest preventative
150
00:08:13,167 --> 00:08:15,208
for melancholy and
morbidity, Mrs. B.
151
00:08:15,375 --> 00:08:18,667
- Mrs. Belling.
- My memoir already runs up to 300 pages.
152
00:08:18,792 --> 00:08:22,208
- Johanna, you're 16. Have
you got many memoir-ies?
153
00:08:22,250 --> 00:08:26,250
- Oh, I am blessed with
a rich internal life, Mrs. B.
154
00:08:26,500 --> 00:08:29,125
I just write about all the
things I imagine I'll do.
155
00:08:29,250 --> 00:08:31,167
The only trouble is I
don't know the end yet.
156
00:08:31,333 --> 00:08:33,042
- I'm an English teacher.
157
00:08:33,125 --> 00:08:35,565
You need to share that problem
with the philosophy department.
158
00:08:36,792 --> 00:08:38,792
Johanna, may I offer
you some advice?
159
00:08:39,042 --> 00:08:41,458
- Cannon away,
full power, Mrs. B.
160
00:08:42,333 --> 00:08:43,333
- Mrs. Belling.
161
00:08:43,375 --> 00:08:46,125
You need to
just rein it in a bit.
162
00:08:46,167 --> 00:08:50,125
All teachers look for a spark.
Very few have it. You do.
163
00:08:50,292 --> 00:08:52,042
In fact, right now,
you're like Krakatoa.
164
00:08:52,167 --> 00:08:56,583
But I need five pages of
GCSE-compliant coursework
165
00:08:56,708 --> 00:08:58,750
not "War and Peace."
166
00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:00,750
The unabridged version.
167
00:09:01,250 --> 00:09:02,875
♪ ♪
168
00:09:08,958 --> 00:09:12,250
That's the cool room.
I've never been in there.
169
00:09:19,542 --> 00:09:20,667
- Get a shift on, babba.
170
00:09:20,708 --> 00:09:23,167
It's time for your
starring role.
171
00:09:23,208 --> 00:09:26,292
Birmingham New Road
will be a circus by 6:00.
172
00:09:27,708 --> 00:09:30,167
What do you reckon?
Nine quid for the lot.
173
00:09:30,333 --> 00:09:32,292
Donny Buddhamere's
done us proud, hasn't he?
174
00:09:32,542 --> 00:09:35,125
- We look like a fat Bros.
- Nice one.
175
00:09:36,750 --> 00:09:38,458
- This jacket is too tight.
176
00:09:38,500 --> 00:09:40,708
I don't think it's
made for women.
177
00:09:40,750 --> 00:09:42,333
- Oh, you've
inherited the Finlayson
178
00:09:42,583 --> 00:09:44,458
women's breasts, Johanna.
179
00:09:44,750 --> 00:09:46,958
We can't be contained
by a catalogue bra.
180
00:09:47,083 --> 00:09:48,792
- Where's me bloody keys?
181
00:09:49,375 --> 00:09:50,917
Come on, let's go.
182
00:09:51,375 --> 00:09:54,750
♪ Oh oh-oh oh oh-oh-oh ♪
183
00:09:54,958 --> 00:09:57,917
♪ Ooh ooh-ooh-ooh ooh ♪ ♪
184
00:09:59,500 --> 00:10:02,083
- Now, the first lucky
linguist to compete...
185
00:10:02,125 --> 00:10:04,917
- This is it. My pivotal moment.
186
00:10:05,292 --> 00:10:07,125
Like when the Little
Mermaid gets legs.
187
00:10:07,417 --> 00:10:11,167
- ...who lists his address as
East of Eden, West of Solihull
188
00:10:11,458 --> 00:10:15,042
with his poem, "Brut 66."
189
00:10:15,208 --> 00:10:17,167
- I only have three true friends
190
00:10:17,917 --> 00:10:21,667
the moon, my fist and a gun...
191
00:10:21,792 --> 00:10:25,000
- We played this show,
you know, back in '78.
192
00:10:25,042 --> 00:10:26,167
They didn't like the lyrics,
193
00:10:26,208 --> 00:10:27,917
to "Fuck me till
my bladder bursts"
194
00:10:27,958 --> 00:10:30,250
so we did an
instrumental in the end.
195
00:10:30,292 --> 00:10:31,667
Classy.
196
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:33,833
It was our last
ever performance.
197
00:10:33,958 --> 00:10:35,333
- Spot. Remember your view.
198
00:10:35,417 --> 00:10:37,042
- Do you wanna take
your coat off, love?
199
00:10:37,167 --> 00:10:38,792
- One minute.
200
00:10:38,958 --> 00:10:42,125
- I'll stack them,
like Tupperware.
201
00:10:44,667 --> 00:10:47,000
- No, it's not
working. You'll be fine.
202
00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:51,958
- It is dead sweaty out there.
- Well done, mate.
203
00:10:54,125 --> 00:10:55,708
Are you alright, love?
204
00:10:56,667 --> 00:10:59,458
Hey, I've got some
advice for you, alright?
205
00:10:59,542 --> 00:11:01,583
Key wisdom. Don't
ever forget this.
206
00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:05,583
If things ever get lairy,
turn the conversation to jazz.
207
00:11:05,708 --> 00:11:07,292
Confuses people.
208
00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:11,292
And get on the hot, bad
jazzers, Mingus, Coltrane.
209
00:11:11,792 --> 00:11:14,542
- You're on. Go, go.
210
00:11:15,833 --> 00:11:17,583
- Johanna Morrigan
211
00:11:17,667 --> 00:11:20,125
from the Warstones
Estate in Wolverhampton.
212
00:11:20,292 --> 00:11:24,875
She says her poem is influenced
by her family's unusual business
213
00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:27,042
breeding Border Collie dogs.
214
00:11:27,167 --> 00:11:29,375
- That's right.
- I love a collie.
215
00:11:30,833 --> 00:11:33,583
Take it away, Johanna,
with our final poem...
216
00:11:33,708 --> 00:11:35,375
...about friendship.
217
00:11:43,708 --> 00:11:45,333
- Go on.
218
00:11:45,458 --> 00:11:50,292
- "My Best Friend
by Johanna Morrigan.
219
00:11:54,083 --> 00:11:56,625
"My father sells your babies.
220
00:11:56,708 --> 00:11:59,125
"You howl when you're alone.
221
00:11:59,292 --> 00:12:02,792
"You do not know
who your parents are.
222
00:12:02,917 --> 00:12:06,333
"And all you want to do is bone.
223
00:12:06,458 --> 00:12:10,917
"Well, my best friend
is Bianca, my dog.
224
00:12:11,083 --> 00:12:13,375
"Despite her mental
health seeming fragile
225
00:12:13,458 --> 00:12:17,292
"And when it comes to
scaring off assailants, or yobs
226
00:12:17,417 --> 00:12:20,417
"she has proven less than agile.
227
00:12:20,542 --> 00:12:23,208
"You cannot hug
me with your paws.
228
00:12:23,333 --> 00:12:26,208
"I know, Bianca.
229
00:12:26,333 --> 00:12:29,000
- "I've tried."
- Come on, Johanna.
230
00:12:29,125 --> 00:12:33,000
- "Dog anatomy
lacks rotator cuffs.
231
00:12:33,125 --> 00:12:36,458
"You can't open
your forelegs that wide
232
00:12:36,583 --> 00:12:41,292
"but, Bianca, I know
you can always hug me.
233
00:12:41,417 --> 00:12:43,875
"You can always hug me
234
00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:46,542
Hug me with your eyes."
235
00:12:48,250 --> 00:12:50,708
I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous.
236
00:12:50,792 --> 00:12:52,809
- When you know that there's
one million people watching
237
00:12:52,833 --> 00:12:53,917
it's nerve-racking.
238
00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:55,833
- I'm just... I'm just mad.
239
00:12:55,958 --> 00:12:57,458
Anyway, to be honest, Alan...
240
00:12:57,583 --> 00:12:59,333
- Oh, here she comes.
- I'm just...
241
00:12:59,458 --> 00:13:00,500
That's what everyone says.
242
00:13:00,625 --> 00:13:01,708
Just... just a mad
243
00:13:01,833 --> 00:13:03,208
lonely teenager into dog.
244
00:13:03,333 --> 00:13:06,042
But... but we, we're like
245
00:13:06,167 --> 00:13:09,167
Sha... Shaggy and Scooby-Doo.
246
00:13:09,250 --> 00:13:12,667
Best friends forever
against the world.
247
00:13:13,167 --> 00:13:14,667
I rove my rog.
248
00:13:14,708 --> 00:13:17,000
Everybody roves my rog.
249
00:13:17,708 --> 00:13:21,667
- Let's...
- Scooby! Scooby-Dooby-Doo!
250
00:13:21,750 --> 00:13:23,875
- Just as a reminder,
later on in the program
251
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:26,583
we're going to make some
groaty cakes with a modern twist
252
00:13:26,750 --> 00:13:28,500
with Cyrille Regis,
so don't tune out.
253
00:13:28,625 --> 00:13:30,434
Maybe Johanna would be
more comfortable over there
254
00:13:30,458 --> 00:13:33,958
while I announce the winner of
Young Midlands Poet of the Year
255
00:13:34,042 --> 00:13:35,083
Lee Veltman.
256
00:13:40,250 --> 00:13:41,958
- Okay.
257
00:13:42,083 --> 00:13:44,333
We're gonna keep
a tight formation
258
00:13:44,458 --> 00:13:47,292
and you're gonna remember
Krissi's crisis mantra.
259
00:13:49,250 --> 00:13:52,125
- Everyone can suck
a big bag of dicks.
260
00:13:52,250 --> 00:13:54,833
- Good girl. Come on.
261
00:13:54,917 --> 00:13:56,292
- Maybe no one saw it.
262
00:13:57,833 --> 00:13:58,958
- Yeah.
263
00:13:59,917 --> 00:14:01,500
All good so far.
264
00:14:03,917 --> 00:14:06,625
- Here she is. Scooby-Doo!
- Yeah, fuck them all.
265
00:14:06,750 --> 00:14:08,167
- Scooby-Doo! Scooby-Doo!
266
00:14:10,542 --> 00:14:13,500
- Is your brother
Shaggy? Shaggy...
267
00:14:13,667 --> 00:14:15,125
Scooby-Dooby-Doo!
268
00:14:16,542 --> 00:14:19,125
Go on. Do you want
Scooby Snacks?
269
00:14:19,250 --> 00:14:21,500
Here's your Scooby Snacks, eh?
270
00:14:21,625 --> 00:14:22,917
- Can I help you, lads?
271
00:14:24,708 --> 00:14:27,333
Hey, is that Karl Boden?
- What about it?
272
00:14:27,792 --> 00:14:30,625
- I fucked your mum back in '72.
273
00:14:30,750 --> 00:14:33,292
Give her my regards, won't you?
274
00:14:33,375 --> 00:14:35,083
- Oh, mate.
- Come on, let's go.
275
00:14:35,250 --> 00:14:37,208
- Go on inside,
kids. Tea's ready.
276
00:14:37,542 --> 00:14:40,750
Your mum's busy garnishing
the toast with beans.
277
00:14:40,875 --> 00:14:44,000
- Pat Morrigan? You
have puppies for sale?
278
00:14:44,167 --> 00:14:46,125
- I do, yes. Famous
pups, as it happens.
279
00:14:46,250 --> 00:14:48,875
Immortalized in poetry on
"Today In The Midlands."
280
00:14:50,167 --> 00:14:53,042
- I'm from the DSS.
281
00:14:53,208 --> 00:14:55,226
We're investigating allegations
you've been illegally claiming
282
00:14:55,250 --> 00:14:58,000
disability benefit whilst
breeding Border Collie dogs.
283
00:14:58,292 --> 00:14:59,292
- Not me, love.
284
00:15:01,292 --> 00:15:02,292
No.
285
00:15:03,750 --> 00:15:05,125
Rats, though.
286
00:15:05,208 --> 00:15:07,417
We've got a big rat
problem around here.
287
00:15:07,583 --> 00:15:09,875
♪ ♪
288
00:15:19,167 --> 00:15:20,708
- I'm so sorry.
289
00:15:24,500 --> 00:15:26,958
Losing the TV is tough
290
00:15:27,042 --> 00:15:30,208
like when Beth dies
in "Little Women."
291
00:15:30,375 --> 00:15:34,208
I have become
destroyer of the world.
292
00:15:34,750 --> 00:15:37,667
I shall feast only on my misery.
293
00:15:41,583 --> 00:15:42,833
And jam.
294
00:15:44,667 --> 00:15:47,208
What have I done? I've
brought ruin upon our family.
295
00:15:47,333 --> 00:15:48,958
I think I'm dying.
296
00:15:49,083 --> 00:15:51,708
- You are not dying, Johanna.
297
00:15:51,750 --> 00:15:53,833
This is called anxiety.
298
00:15:53,958 --> 00:15:55,667
- Will jam make it better?
299
00:15:55,792 --> 00:15:58,292
- No, jam will
not make it better.
300
00:15:58,417 --> 00:16:01,417
I'm afraid you will just
have to accept this.
301
00:16:01,750 --> 00:16:02,910
- The thing is, I don't think
302
00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:05,542
my main problem
is anxiety, Mr. Freud.
303
00:16:05,625 --> 00:16:09,625
I just need money.
Money for the family.
304
00:16:09,750 --> 00:16:13,250
But I am now a failed artist,
and when you're a failed artist
305
00:16:13,417 --> 00:16:16,125
there's only one
thing you can do.
306
00:16:16,292 --> 00:16:18,750
- You have to die.
- Johanna, no!
307
00:16:18,833 --> 00:16:22,083
- No, you must live.
- No, you have so much to live for.
308
00:16:22,292 --> 00:16:24,750
- Johanna, honey, we need you.
309
00:16:24,875 --> 00:16:26,125
- No! Never.
310
00:16:26,500 --> 00:16:28,958
- I've got some good
tips on how to do it.
311
00:16:32,083 --> 00:16:35,250
- What you doing?
- Working out how to die.
312
00:16:35,333 --> 00:16:36,917
- Fair enough.
313
00:16:37,208 --> 00:16:39,083
- Ask me why.
314
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:41,500
- I know why.
315
00:16:41,542 --> 00:16:44,250
I'd wanna die too
if I'd shamed myself
316
00:16:44,375 --> 00:16:46,167
plunged my whole
family into poverty.
317
00:16:46,292 --> 00:16:49,333
It's fair enough. I would
have advised it myself.
318
00:16:50,083 --> 00:16:53,875
Maybe I'll commit the
ultimate sacrifice, cut my hair off
319
00:16:54,042 --> 00:16:55,958
like Jo March, sell it.
320
00:16:56,333 --> 00:16:59,083
- I'm not sure cash converters
have a hair department, Johanna.
321
00:17:04,792 --> 00:17:06,708
- Stop moping.
322
00:17:06,833 --> 00:17:10,000
Try this. They're
looking for writers.
323
00:17:10,167 --> 00:17:12,125
It's a competition
to be a rock critic.
324
00:17:14,167 --> 00:17:15,792
You might wanna give
your poetry a break.
325
00:17:17,500 --> 00:17:19,333
- "Live and breathe music?
326
00:17:19,750 --> 00:17:21,750
"♪-And-ME are hiring
hip young gunslingers.
327
00:17:21,875 --> 00:17:23,667
Show us what you've got."
328
00:17:23,792 --> 00:17:26,250
I am none of those
things. You should do this.
329
00:17:26,333 --> 00:17:28,458
- I'm not a corporate
sell-out whore.
330
00:17:28,625 --> 00:17:31,083
Those guys only write
about what they think is cool.
331
00:17:31,208 --> 00:17:32,750
I write about what I love.
332
00:17:32,875 --> 00:17:34,875
It just happens that
everything I love is cool.
333
00:17:35,208 --> 00:17:37,917
A ten-year-old
could be a rock critic.
334
00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:42,083
Now I just need some
modern rock to critic.
335
00:17:45,208 --> 00:17:47,292
Touch that and die.
336
00:17:59,250 --> 00:18:01,458
♪ ♪
337
00:18:03,042 --> 00:18:04,708
- My God.
- This is a classic.
338
00:18:04,833 --> 00:18:08,417
♪ The sun'll come out tomorrow ♪
339
00:18:08,500 --> 00:18:13,167
♪ Bet your bottom
dollar that tomorrow ♪
340
00:18:13,333 --> 00:18:15,125
♪ There'll be sun ♪
341
00:18:17,083 --> 00:18:20,792
♪ Just thinking
about tomorrow. ♪
342
00:18:20,875 --> 00:18:23,250
♪ Clears away the
cobwebs and the sorrow... ♪
343
00:18:23,875 --> 00:18:24,833
- Hey.
344
00:18:24,875 --> 00:18:26,833
- Emily and Charlotte
Bronte shared quills.
345
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:29,167
- Yeah, well, I
want it back by 5:00.
346
00:18:29,250 --> 00:18:31,958
And you are so Anne.
- Don't start that again.
347
00:18:32,083 --> 00:18:34,208
♪ And lonely ♪
348
00:18:34,375 --> 00:18:36,500
♪ I just stick out my chin ♪
349
00:18:36,583 --> 00:18:41,375
♪ And grin and say ♪
350
00:18:41,500 --> 00:18:47,667
♪ Oh the sun'll
come out tomorrow ♪
351
00:18:47,792 --> 00:18:52,417
♪ So you gotta hang
on till tomorrow ♪
352
00:18:52,542 --> 00:18:55,833
♪ Come what may ♪
353
00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:58,917
♪ Tomorrow tomorrow ♪
354
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:01,667
♪ I love ya tomorrow ♪
355
00:19:01,792 --> 00:19:07,625
♪ You're always a day away ♪
356
00:19:07,792 --> 00:19:13,208
♪ When I'm stuck with a
day that's grey and lonely ♪
357
00:19:13,292 --> 00:19:19,917
♪ I just stick out my
chin and grin and say ♪
358
00:19:20,042 --> 00:19:21,917
♪ Oh... ♪
359
00:19:25,917 --> 00:19:27,292
- That's disgusting.
360
00:19:36,042 --> 00:19:37,542
- Are you dying?
361
00:19:38,750 --> 00:19:39,750
- No.
362
00:19:40,708 --> 00:19:42,583
This is a period, Lupin.
363
00:19:42,750 --> 00:19:45,875
It is why women have been
oppressed throughout history.
364
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:47,542
Till the twin-tub was invented
365
00:19:47,667 --> 00:19:50,917
we were too busy scrubbing
to agitate for the vote.
366
00:19:52,792 --> 00:19:54,375
- Will I get a period?
367
00:19:57,458 --> 00:19:58,458
- Yes.
368
00:20:01,875 --> 00:20:02,958
- Johanna.
369
00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:10,625
- Hello?
370
00:20:14,917 --> 00:20:16,125
Interview.
371
00:20:17,375 --> 00:20:19,750
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
372
00:20:22,625 --> 00:20:25,958
♪ The sun'll come out tomorrow ♪
373
00:20:26,125 --> 00:20:30,667
♪ So you gotta hang
on 'til tomorrow ♪
374
00:20:30,750 --> 00:20:33,875
♪ Come what may. ♪
375
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:36,750
♪ Tomorrow tomorrow ♪
376
00:20:36,917 --> 00:20:39,458
♪ I love ya tomorrow ♪
377
00:20:39,542 --> 00:20:44,125
♪ You're always a day away ♪
378
00:20:44,250 --> 00:20:48,083
♪ Tomorrow tomorrow ♪
379
00:20:48,208 --> 00:20:50,750
♪ I love ya tomorrow ♪
380
00:20:50,875 --> 00:20:53,542
♪ You're always ♪
381
00:20:53,667 --> 00:20:57,667
♪ A day ♪
382
00:20:57,792 --> 00:21:00,500
♪ ♪
383
00:21:03,458 --> 00:21:10,292
♪ Away ♪ ♪
384
00:21:16,542 --> 00:21:18,833
♪ ♪
385
00:21:37,750 --> 00:21:39,250
- I know Prince is short
386
00:21:39,417 --> 00:21:41,833
but you've made him look
like a sex case Oompa Loompa.
387
00:21:41,958 --> 00:21:43,559
Tell him to take off
his top or something.
388
00:21:43,583 --> 00:21:45,542
Enbiggen him, if necessary.
389
00:21:51,875 --> 00:21:53,875
- Oh, Just Seventeen's
on the 23rd floor, love.
390
00:21:55,083 --> 00:21:57,875
- Thank you, but no.
391
00:21:58,042 --> 00:22:02,125
I'm Johanna Morrigan. I
have an interview for the job.
392
00:22:02,208 --> 00:22:04,333
Hot young gunslinger.
393
00:22:04,458 --> 00:22:06,083
- Fucking hell.
394
00:22:06,208 --> 00:22:10,083
- Right, there goes a
tenner. Andy, you win.
395
00:22:10,208 --> 00:22:12,625
Sorry, we didn't think you were real, love.
- What?
396
00:22:12,750 --> 00:22:13,958
- Well, a 16-year-old girl
397
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:16,083
reviewing the
soundtrack to Annie?
398
00:22:16,208 --> 00:22:19,542
We just thought it was the
dicks at NME winding us up.
399
00:22:19,667 --> 00:22:21,583
- But did you think
my writing was good?
400
00:22:21,958 --> 00:22:23,708
- Yeah, it was funny.
401
00:22:23,833 --> 00:22:26,667
It made us laugh.
But it's not really us.
402
00:22:28,125 --> 00:22:30,292
- So I go?
- I guess.
403
00:22:32,208 --> 00:22:33,375
Here.
404
00:22:34,375 --> 00:22:36,375
You've come a long way.
405
00:22:36,500 --> 00:22:37,875
Have a free T-shirt.
406
00:22:43,167 --> 00:22:44,542
- Thank you.
407
00:22:58,708 --> 00:23:02,708
I was right the first
time. I'm not cool.
408
00:23:02,875 --> 00:23:04,750
I should just die.
409
00:23:10,833 --> 00:23:13,833
Do you know what cool
people are, Johanna?
410
00:23:16,708 --> 00:23:19,708
Cool, like the
people in that room?
411
00:23:20,042 --> 00:23:23,417
Cool people are the worst.
412
00:23:23,833 --> 00:23:25,333
They don't dance,
413
00:23:25,375 --> 00:23:27,625
they wear uncomfortable
little trousers
414
00:23:27,667 --> 00:23:30,750
and they're constantly
misquoting Kerouac.
415
00:23:30,875 --> 00:23:33,625
Have you read "On
The Road," Johanna?
416
00:23:33,792 --> 00:23:34,917
Don't bother.
417
00:23:34,958 --> 00:23:38,458
It is a very long book
about a man getting a lift.
418
00:23:38,833 --> 00:23:41,625
Do you know what a good book is?
419
00:23:41,792 --> 00:23:43,792
"Little House on the Prairie."
420
00:23:43,917 --> 00:23:47,875
She makes her own knickers,
and her dad shoots a bear.
421
00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:49,917
That's a story.
422
00:23:51,458 --> 00:23:54,167
Come on, give your face a rinse
423
00:23:54,250 --> 00:23:56,375
and dance back into that room.
424
00:23:56,542 --> 00:23:58,292
- I'm too scared.
425
00:23:58,375 --> 00:23:59,917
- Scared?
426
00:24:00,083 --> 00:24:04,042
Darling, rooms like
that need girls like you.
427
00:24:06,208 --> 00:24:10,000
This is why you are magic.
428
00:24:19,292 --> 00:24:21,583
♪ ♪
429
00:24:26,583 --> 00:24:28,292
- Look. Look!
430
00:24:28,417 --> 00:24:29,708
I might not know much about
431
00:24:29,833 --> 00:24:33,250
your Carter the
Unstoppable Sex Machine
432
00:24:33,375 --> 00:24:37,833
or your Sultans of Ping FC,
or your fire drill next Tuesday
433
00:24:37,958 --> 00:24:40,500
but if you think I'm
funny and I can write
434
00:24:40,583 --> 00:24:42,458
then... then it can't be
harder to learn about
435
00:24:42,625 --> 00:24:43,833
than the periodic table
436
00:24:43,917 --> 00:24:46,542
and I got a 98
percent on that test.
437
00:24:46,708 --> 00:24:48,792
I only failed on Kr.
438
00:24:48,875 --> 00:24:51,042
Krypton is my kryptonite.
439
00:24:51,167 --> 00:24:55,792
I... I could improvise,
like the hot, bad jazzers.
440
00:24:55,917 --> 00:24:58,417
Coltrane and Mingus.
441
00:24:58,583 --> 00:25:00,417
- Give her the Manic
Street Preachers.
442
00:25:00,500 --> 00:25:02,375
- You're doing the Manics, Tony.
443
00:25:04,958 --> 00:25:07,875
- I have just scalped Morrissey.
I'm exhausted from the Kill.
444
00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:09,458
I need to rest in the shade.
445
00:25:09,583 --> 00:25:10,708
Besides, you didn't tell me
446
00:25:10,833 --> 00:25:13,667
the Manics were in Birmingham.
447
00:25:13,792 --> 00:25:17,083
I'm not really feeling
regional right now.
448
00:25:17,208 --> 00:25:18,375
Try her.
449
00:25:21,292 --> 00:25:24,042
- Well, fuck it.
Yeah, trial run.
450
00:25:24,167 --> 00:25:25,833
Johanna, you get
to make first contact
451
00:25:25,917 --> 00:25:27,208
with the demented Welshmen.
452
00:25:27,375 --> 00:25:29,208
Man the barricades for us, yeah?
453
00:25:29,333 --> 00:25:32,125
- Leaping lizards!
454
00:25:32,250 --> 00:25:33,375
- Okay.
455
00:25:35,333 --> 00:25:36,583
- What?
456
00:25:36,750 --> 00:25:38,750
Are you in fact being
Annie right now?
457
00:25:39,083 --> 00:25:40,208
- Yes, sir.
458
00:25:40,250 --> 00:25:42,875
- Enjoy the munificent
ten-♪ per word.
459
00:25:42,958 --> 00:25:44,125
- I will.
460
00:25:45,125 --> 00:25:46,917
I'm much obliged to you, sir.
461
00:25:48,417 --> 00:25:49,625
- I'll remember that.
462
00:25:59,708 --> 00:26:01,625
- I have nothing to wear.
463
00:26:01,750 --> 00:26:03,583
- That is not factually correct.
464
00:26:05,333 --> 00:26:08,083
- Nothing to wear
for who I need to be.
465
00:26:09,667 --> 00:26:12,250
The best item of
clothing I own is my hair.
466
00:26:17,458 --> 00:26:19,500
Is my hair.
467
00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:22,750
You look like Captain Caveman.
468
00:26:25,042 --> 00:26:26,042
- Krissi.
469
00:26:27,042 --> 00:26:28,750
- Absolutely not.
470
00:26:30,917 --> 00:26:33,208
♪ ♪
471
00:26:34,917 --> 00:26:36,750
I've been saving
that for three years.
472
00:26:37,958 --> 00:26:40,917
- This is nine
pounds forty-eight.
473
00:26:41,042 --> 00:26:43,250
- Yeah, well, the Fanzine
has a lot of overheads.
474
00:26:43,375 --> 00:26:45,625
Revolutionary
independence is costly.
475
00:26:45,750 --> 00:26:47,833
- That's okay. I can
totally transform myself
476
00:26:47,875 --> 00:26:50,333
for nine pounds forty-eight.
- Hmm.
477
00:26:52,375 --> 00:26:55,750
♪ That girl thinks she's the
queen of the neighborhood ♪
478
00:26:55,875 --> 00:26:59,500
♪ She's got the
hottest strike in town ♪
479
00:26:59,583 --> 00:27:02,750
♪ That girl she holds
her head up so high ♪
480
00:27:02,875 --> 00:27:06,375
♪ I think I wanna be
her best friend yeah ♪
481
00:27:06,542 --> 00:27:09,792
♪ Rebel girl rebel girl ♪
482
00:27:09,917 --> 00:27:13,458
♪ Rebel girl you are
the queen of my world ♪
483
00:27:13,583 --> 00:27:15,167
♪ Rebel girl rebel girl ♪
484
00:27:15,292 --> 00:27:16,625
I need this.
485
00:27:16,792 --> 00:27:18,250
♪ I think I wanna
take you home ♪
486
00:27:18,333 --> 00:27:21,000
♪ I wanna try on
your clothes uh ♪
487
00:27:34,167 --> 00:27:35,292
♪ Uh ♪
488
00:27:38,083 --> 00:27:41,500
♪ Rebel girl rebel girl ♪
489
00:27:41,583 --> 00:27:45,125
♪ Rebel girl you are
the queen of my world ♪
490
00:27:45,250 --> 00:27:48,708
- Observe the world's
greatest eyeliner.
491
00:27:48,875 --> 00:27:50,059
♪ I know I wanna take you home ♪
492
00:27:50,083 --> 00:27:51,542
♪ I wanna try on your clothes ♪
493
00:27:51,667 --> 00:27:55,042
♪ My rebel girl ♪ ♪
494
00:27:59,208 --> 00:28:01,167
- Good God, it's
the Child Catcher.
495
00:28:01,417 --> 00:28:04,042
- No. Johanna Morrigan is dead.
496
00:28:04,167 --> 00:28:07,750
This, this is the
legendary Dolly Wilde.
497
00:28:08,958 --> 00:28:10,000
- Mega.
498
00:28:13,708 --> 00:28:15,542
You never forget
your first gig, bab.
499
00:28:15,625 --> 00:28:17,167
It's like your first
kick in the balls.
500
00:28:17,333 --> 00:28:19,292
Changes your life.
501
00:28:19,375 --> 00:28:20,833
Now get your ears
around my remix.
502
00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:23,042
Your dad's gone up a level.
503
00:28:23,125 --> 00:28:25,333
♪ Can anybody hear me? ♪ ♪
504
00:28:25,500 --> 00:28:28,167
Do you like this one?
I've done it rave style.
505
00:28:28,292 --> 00:28:30,792
I'm on one, love. And I'm back.
506
00:28:30,917 --> 00:28:34,583
Next Live Aid, I'm getting the
Phil Collins slot, both of them.
507
00:28:34,708 --> 00:28:37,583
No, fuck it, three.
I'll do Africa and all.
508
00:28:37,708 --> 00:28:39,500
- ♪ Day-O! ♪ ♪
509
00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:41,417
- Too right.
510
00:28:46,167 --> 00:28:48,250
For I'm the bastard
son of Brendan Behan
511
00:28:48,375 --> 00:28:50,667
and one day these fuckers
will all bow down to me.
512
00:28:50,792 --> 00:28:52,125
- Whoo!
513
00:28:57,958 --> 00:29:01,667
Look at that. The Midlands.
514
00:29:01,750 --> 00:29:03,518
When I was your age, the
only thing we cared about
515
00:29:03,542 --> 00:29:05,000
was how to escape.
516
00:29:05,083 --> 00:29:06,333
So, you either become a boxer
517
00:29:06,500 --> 00:29:09,000
a footballer or a pop star.
518
00:29:09,125 --> 00:29:10,417
It's the only way.
519
00:29:11,833 --> 00:29:14,000
Obviously, I chose pop star.
520
00:29:14,917 --> 00:29:19,667
But you... you've
got your writing, bab.
521
00:29:19,792 --> 00:29:21,292
You've found a new way.
522
00:29:21,375 --> 00:29:22,500
- I know.
523
00:29:24,125 --> 00:29:28,000
- I meant for me, like.
Get me in the papers.
524
00:29:30,125 --> 00:29:32,417
I know what to do
this time around.
525
00:29:32,542 --> 00:29:34,667
First time around
I was a right twat.
526
00:29:36,792 --> 00:29:39,083
I'm ready for it now.
527
00:29:39,167 --> 00:29:41,917
The songs are
ready. They're all killer.
528
00:29:42,208 --> 00:29:44,125
You'll know when
it's the right time.
529
00:29:56,125 --> 00:29:59,583
Yeah, hey, hey! Access
all areas. Come on.
530
00:29:59,708 --> 00:30:02,000
♪ ♪
531
00:30:07,042 --> 00:30:10,583
♪ Check the new
ride out it's alright ♪
532
00:30:10,708 --> 00:30:12,792
♪ Silence ain't in season ♪ ♪
533
00:30:12,917 --> 00:30:15,208
What are your expenses like?
- Ah...
534
00:30:15,333 --> 00:30:18,292
- Can I get a pint of Guinness,
please, and a whisky chaser?
535
00:30:18,792 --> 00:30:21,625
If only we were in Dublin,
eh? Get a proper pint.
536
00:30:23,208 --> 00:30:24,667
- Good evening.
537
00:30:24,792 --> 00:30:27,042
- You alright, Birmingham?
Good to be back.
538
00:30:27,167 --> 00:30:30,042
Manic Street Preachers
by Dolly Wilde.
539
00:30:30,125 --> 00:30:34,292
April 8th, Edwards No.
8, Digbeth, Birmingham
540
00:30:34,458 --> 00:30:37,917
West Midlands, United
Kingdom, The World, Milky Way.
541
00:30:38,042 --> 00:30:41,125
- We come from urban hell,
and we destroy rock 'n' roll.
542
00:30:42,958 --> 00:30:45,333
♪ ♪
543
00:30:54,917 --> 00:31:00,542
♪ We are not your sinners
our voices are for real ♪
544
00:31:00,667 --> 00:31:03,292
♪ We realized and
we won't be mourned ♪
545
00:31:03,417 --> 00:31:06,208
♪ We're gonna burn your
death mask uniforms ♪
546
00:31:06,333 --> 00:31:11,958
♪ We won't die of devotion
understand we can never belong ♪
547
00:31:12,083 --> 00:31:14,208
♪ Thrown some
acid into your face ♪
548
00:31:14,375 --> 00:31:17,583
♪ Pollute your mineral
water with a strychnine taste ♪
549
00:31:18,917 --> 00:31:20,125
♪ You ♪
550
00:31:21,417 --> 00:31:22,750
♪ Love ♪
551
00:31:24,458 --> 00:31:25,542
♪ Us ♪
552
00:31:25,708 --> 00:31:27,167
♪ You love us ♪
553
00:31:27,250 --> 00:31:28,458
♪ You love us ♪
554
00:31:28,583 --> 00:31:30,333
♪ You love ♪
555
00:31:30,458 --> 00:31:32,500
♪ You love us ♪
556
00:31:32,625 --> 00:31:35,417
♪ Oh you love us ♪
557
00:31:35,542 --> 00:31:37,000
♪ You love us ♪
558
00:31:37,125 --> 00:31:39,667
♪ You love us you love us ♪
559
00:31:47,458 --> 00:31:50,500
♪ Until I see love in
statues your lessons... ♪
560
00:31:52,875 --> 00:31:55,792
♪ Parliament's a
fake life saver ♪
561
00:31:55,917 --> 00:31:59,000
♪ You better wake up
and smell the real flavor... ♪
562
00:32:02,708 --> 00:32:04,125
"At 9:00 p.m. last night
563
00:32:04,292 --> 00:32:06,000
"rock and roll
meant nothing to me.
564
00:32:06,083 --> 00:32:09,833
By midnight, it was the most
important thing in the world."
565
00:32:21,917 --> 00:32:23,208
- Yow gonna buy that?
566
00:32:24,958 --> 00:32:26,375
You gonna buy that?
567
00:32:27,792 --> 00:32:29,708
I'm a newsagent's,
not a library.
568
00:32:29,833 --> 00:32:31,917
- Look, Mr. ♪. I'm a byline.
569
00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:34,208
- I'm hearing the word
buy and I'm liking it.
570
00:32:34,417 --> 00:32:37,250
I've got your dad's
bill here, $27.48.
571
00:32:37,375 --> 00:32:39,542
- Dad has a bill here?
572
00:32:39,625 --> 00:32:41,208
- Yeah.
573
00:32:41,917 --> 00:32:44,167
- Charge them to
the account, Mr. ♪.
574
00:32:44,250 --> 00:32:45,792
I'm a rock critic now.
575
00:32:45,958 --> 00:32:49,500
I come from urban hell
and I describe rock and roll.
576
00:32:49,583 --> 00:32:51,875
♪ ♪
577
00:32:59,708 --> 00:33:01,667
Edward's No. 8.
578
00:33:02,083 --> 00:33:03,667
Bath Moles.
579
00:33:04,083 --> 00:33:06,042
Rayleigh Pink Toothbrush.
580
00:33:06,583 --> 00:33:07,833
Derby Warehouse.
581
00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:09,000
Wilde.
582
00:33:09,042 --> 00:33:11,000
Windsor Old Trout.
583
00:33:11,375 --> 00:33:13,917
King Tut's Wah Wah Hut.
584
00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:15,333
Dudley JB's.
585
00:33:17,458 --> 00:33:19,292
For when the house is too small
586
00:33:19,417 --> 00:33:21,042
and your bones itch to dance
587
00:33:21,167 --> 00:33:23,417
and you pretend the
dry ice is getting you high
588
00:33:23,542 --> 00:33:26,083
and it doesn't feel right
until your clothes cling to you
589
00:33:26,167 --> 00:33:27,667
with sweat.
590
00:33:27,833 --> 00:33:29,292
These are the places you come
591
00:33:29,375 --> 00:33:31,208
where you can dance and scream
592
00:33:31,333 --> 00:33:32,958
and be with your own kind
593
00:33:33,125 --> 00:33:35,167
and where
everything is possible.
594
00:33:35,667 --> 00:33:38,458
♪ I'm movin' on up now ♪ ♪
595
00:33:40,833 --> 00:33:43,458
- See you later.
- Bye.
596
00:33:43,542 --> 00:33:45,375
Love you!
- We love you!
597
00:34:21,958 --> 00:34:25,000
- Wake up, Fucko. School.
598
00:34:25,125 --> 00:34:27,917
♪ My light shines on ♪
599
00:34:30,500 --> 00:34:31,583
♪ My light shines on ♪
600
00:34:31,708 --> 00:34:33,208
Come on.
601
00:34:33,333 --> 00:34:34,875
Yeah, shut up.
602
00:34:34,958 --> 00:34:39,042
So this is Dolly Wilde,
from ♪-and-ME.
603
00:34:39,208 --> 00:34:40,375
My sister.
604
00:34:40,542 --> 00:34:41,667
- There you go.
605
00:34:41,792 --> 00:34:44,625
♪ ...shines on ♪
606
00:34:44,750 --> 00:34:47,208
♪ I'm getting out
of the darkness ♪
607
00:34:47,292 --> 00:34:49,708
♪ My light shines on ♪
608
00:34:49,875 --> 00:34:52,208
♪ I'm getting out
of the darkness ♪
609
00:34:52,333 --> 00:34:54,583
♪ My light shines on ♪
610
00:34:54,667 --> 00:34:57,250
♪ I'm getting out
of the darkness ♪
611
00:34:57,417 --> 00:35:00,458
♪ My light shines on ♪ ♪
612
00:35:00,583 --> 00:35:02,375
- Nice one. Come on.
- There.
613
00:35:02,458 --> 00:35:05,042
- Let's have a look.
- Lu.
614
00:35:05,208 --> 00:35:06,708
- I think that's for you, love.
615
00:35:06,792 --> 00:35:10,208
- And this one's yours, Krissi.
616
00:35:10,333 --> 00:35:11,542
Dad, have you got rice?
617
00:35:13,125 --> 00:35:14,333
- Dad.
618
00:35:14,458 --> 00:35:16,583
- You've taken the
last chow mein, son.
619
00:35:16,708 --> 00:35:19,292
I've been left with rice.
- I love chicken chow mein.
620
00:35:19,458 --> 00:35:21,542
- Johanna, are
these twats for you?
621
00:35:23,833 --> 00:35:26,625
- Are you girl from ♪-and-ME?
- I am she.
622
00:35:26,750 --> 00:35:30,458
- These are the Strange
Cages from Bilston.
623
00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:34,167
- So sorry about that.
Pat, will you deal with this?
624
00:35:34,292 --> 00:35:35,667
- Yeah, come on
in, lads. Nice one.
625
00:35:35,792 --> 00:35:37,083
Nice to meet you. Yeah, yeah.
626
00:35:37,167 --> 00:35:38,583
- You the bass player?
- Yeah.
627
00:35:38,750 --> 00:35:40,059
- You'd be better
off over here, mate.
628
00:35:40,083 --> 00:35:41,792
A nice bit of
separation there, yeah.
629
00:35:42,125 --> 00:35:44,458
- It's not quite what I meant.
630
00:35:44,583 --> 00:35:46,625
This isn't the
friggin' commitments.
631
00:35:46,750 --> 00:35:49,667
- So first up is a song
about unrequited love.
632
00:35:49,792 --> 00:35:53,250
It's called "Annabelle,
My Bloodied Heart."
633
00:35:53,375 --> 00:35:55,875
♪ ♪
634
00:35:56,167 --> 00:35:57,684
- You'd have a better
chance with Annabella
635
00:35:57,708 --> 00:35:59,875
if you gave your
hair a wash, love.
636
00:36:01,125 --> 00:36:02,458
♪ That's when you know. ♪
637
00:36:02,583 --> 00:36:05,333
♪ Whoa! ♪
638
00:36:05,458 --> 00:36:06,542
- Hold on a minute, lads.
639
00:36:06,667 --> 00:36:09,042
Lads, just... just
stop you there.
640
00:36:09,167 --> 00:36:10,768
You're lagging a bit on the drums.
- What the hell...
641
00:36:10,792 --> 00:36:12,792
- You are, yeah. You're
not keeping time right.
642
00:36:12,958 --> 00:36:14,559
Come here, just step
aside. Let me have a little go.
643
00:36:14,583 --> 00:36:16,543
Come here. I'll show
you a few little tricks here.
644
00:36:16,625 --> 00:36:18,375
I'll show you a
bit of rock 'n' roll.
645
00:36:18,417 --> 00:36:19,250
Are you ready?
646
00:36:19,292 --> 00:36:21,500
One, two, three, four.
647
00:36:21,542 --> 00:36:25,292
♪ I see the cracks
they start to show ♪
648
00:36:25,417 --> 00:36:28,625
♪ That's when you need
it that's when you know ♪
649
00:36:28,708 --> 00:36:31,667
♪ Whoa! ♪
650
00:36:32,708 --> 00:36:36,375
♪ I kick old habits
they bring it out ♪
651
00:36:36,500 --> 00:36:40,042
♪ They leave you
something to figure out ♪
652
00:36:40,208 --> 00:36:41,208
♪ Whoa! ♪ ♪
653
00:36:41,250 --> 00:36:42,583
- Where are you going?
654
00:36:42,708 --> 00:36:44,184
What are we supposed
to do with that lot?
655
00:36:44,208 --> 00:36:46,042
- Dolly Wilde's on
the move, like Asian.
656
00:36:46,167 --> 00:36:47,917
- Right, well, it's
Johanna Morrigan's turn
657
00:36:48,042 --> 00:36:49,625
to clean out the deep-fat fryer.
658
00:36:49,917 --> 00:36:51,792
- This bitch be
paying rent, Krissi.
659
00:36:54,958 --> 00:36:57,083
- You're not friggin'
Superman, you know.
660
00:36:57,167 --> 00:36:59,500
You're just a girl in
a hat typing jangly.
661
00:37:01,458 --> 00:37:03,750
♪ ♪
662
00:37:07,125 --> 00:37:11,083
- Alright, come on. Story.
- Oh, yeah.
663
00:37:11,833 --> 00:37:13,292
- Drink?
664
00:37:13,375 --> 00:37:16,042
- No, thank you, sir.
I'm high on mere life.
665
00:37:16,167 --> 00:37:18,333
- I OD'd on life once.
666
00:37:18,458 --> 00:37:22,083
Someone blew
life right up my ass.
667
00:37:23,167 --> 00:37:27,792
- So, how is life in the
world of the hot child genius?
668
00:37:27,875 --> 00:37:30,875
I love the new look, by the way.
669
00:37:31,042 --> 00:37:32,958
Very wild, Ms. Wilde.
670
00:37:33,083 --> 00:37:36,792
- Thank you, sir.
Life is frustrating.
671
00:37:36,917 --> 00:37:39,500
- Oh, I hate to hear about
a woman being frustrated.
672
00:37:39,583 --> 00:37:41,833
- I don't seem to be
progressing as I thought I would.
673
00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:43,250
I want bigger things.
674
00:37:43,542 --> 00:37:45,375
- Well, in my experience
675
00:37:45,542 --> 00:37:48,625
the world welcomes women
who ask for big things.
676
00:37:48,708 --> 00:37:50,208
- So I should just ask?
677
00:37:50,375 --> 00:37:52,667
- Ask and it will be given.
678
00:37:54,750 --> 00:37:57,875
- I'm telling you.
It is, it has to be.
679
00:37:58,042 --> 00:37:59,292
It has to be. Kenny, trust me.
680
00:37:59,375 --> 00:38:02,375
- Kenny, sir, may I
ask you a question?
681
00:38:02,542 --> 00:38:06,792
- Fire away.
- Can I write a feature, please?
682
00:38:06,917 --> 00:38:09,708
- A feature?
- I want to interview someone.
683
00:38:09,792 --> 00:38:12,708
Let me interview someone.
I like bands. They're friendly.
684
00:38:12,875 --> 00:38:14,875
- To you, my darling,
of course they are.
685
00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:17,000
- Talk to Derby about
features, alright?
686
00:38:19,208 --> 00:38:23,375
- Sir, I think I'm ready to
take on more responsibilities
687
00:38:23,500 --> 00:38:25,000
and stretch myself.
688
00:38:25,083 --> 00:38:26,792
- I very much see part of my job
689
00:38:26,917 --> 00:38:30,792
as helping young women
stretch their responsibilities.
690
00:38:32,250 --> 00:38:34,708
Sit here and tell
me more about it.
691
00:38:34,792 --> 00:38:35,917
- Sir?
692
00:38:41,083 --> 00:38:42,917
Sit here?
693
00:38:52,667 --> 00:38:54,333
- Watch this. Watch this.
694
00:38:58,125 --> 00:39:01,000
- This was a good
idea. This is fun.
695
00:39:01,125 --> 00:39:05,083
Does anyone else want
a go? This is awesome.
696
00:39:05,167 --> 00:39:08,333
I mean, it's not as good as
a chair, like all you guys have
697
00:39:08,417 --> 00:39:10,167
but it's definitely second best.
698
00:39:10,333 --> 00:39:12,708
Maybe we could wrestle, too.
- No.
699
00:39:12,792 --> 00:39:15,000
No, okay, you've
got the feature, okay?
700
00:39:15,125 --> 00:39:16,875
You can do John Kite in Dublin.
701
00:39:18,667 --> 00:39:20,875
- They're my thank-you bounces.
702
00:39:21,000 --> 00:39:23,042
- Please make sure your
seat's back and tray tables
703
00:39:23,208 --> 00:39:24,792
are in the full
upright positions
704
00:39:24,917 --> 00:39:27,667
and that your seatbelt
is correctly fastened...
705
00:39:27,792 --> 00:39:29,208
So the gig's at 10:00 p.m.
706
00:39:29,333 --> 00:39:30,601
We'll do the interview
first in the pub.
707
00:39:30,625 --> 00:39:32,667
- Are all planes this small?
708
00:39:33,208 --> 00:39:34,768
- Here's some clippings
and some photos.
709
00:39:34,833 --> 00:39:36,375
You've heard his
new record, yes?
710
00:39:36,500 --> 00:39:38,667
- Is this turbulence?
711
00:39:38,792 --> 00:39:40,125
- We haven't taken off yet.
712
00:39:41,708 --> 00:39:44,417
- They say flying is the
safest mode of transport
713
00:39:44,583 --> 00:39:46,792
but surely that's walking.
714
00:39:53,125 --> 00:39:54,250
- Then after the show,
715
00:39:54,292 --> 00:39:56,833
I'll be with John
Kite at all times...
716
00:39:59,500 --> 00:40:01,833
- Oh, God, what's happening?
- Eh?
717
00:40:01,958 --> 00:40:03,583
Well, we've just gone
above the clouds.
718
00:40:05,917 --> 00:40:08,208
♪ ♪
719
00:40:21,292 --> 00:40:23,458
- John, what are you talking
about? Come back to me.
720
00:40:23,583 --> 00:40:25,143
- Let's just do it in
the pub, you know.
721
00:40:25,250 --> 00:40:27,458
- Listen...
- John. ♪-and-ME's here.
722
00:40:33,750 --> 00:40:36,042
♪ ♪
723
00:40:39,917 --> 00:40:44,083
John. ♪-and-ME.
This is Dolly Wilde.
724
00:40:44,250 --> 00:40:47,917
- Alright, Duchess?
Pleasure to meet you.
725
00:40:48,042 --> 00:40:50,167
Shall we, uh, brutalize
ourselves with gin?
726
00:40:50,292 --> 00:40:52,417
- Oh, I would just
like some pop, please.
727
00:40:52,542 --> 00:40:54,583
- Do you want a cigarette?
- No, thank you.
728
00:40:54,708 --> 00:40:57,875
- Ah. Well, I applaud
your brightness.
729
00:40:59,542 --> 00:41:01,458
When you start smoking
730
00:41:01,583 --> 00:41:03,958
you think that you've
bought a fun baby dragon.
731
00:41:04,083 --> 00:41:06,042
You think that you've
charmed a fabulous beast
732
00:41:06,125 --> 00:41:08,292
that will impress both your
enemies and your friends.
733
00:41:08,458 --> 00:41:09,875
Then, 20 years
later, you wake up
734
00:41:09,958 --> 00:41:11,726
with your lungs full of
cinder, the bed's on fire
735
00:41:11,750 --> 00:41:13,833
and you realize
the dragon grew up
736
00:41:13,917 --> 00:41:15,708
and burned your
fucking house down.
737
00:41:18,750 --> 00:41:21,917
- So, the interview...
- Ah, the interview.
738
00:41:22,042 --> 00:41:24,500
- My first question is, if you
had to murder someone evil
739
00:41:24,542 --> 00:41:25,750
how would you do it?
740
00:41:25,792 --> 00:41:27,393
- That is an amazing question.
- What's your worst song?
741
00:41:27,417 --> 00:41:28,893
- Oh, I don't know.
- Which is the best Beatle?
742
00:41:28,917 --> 00:41:30,208
- Well, that's quite a...
743
00:41:30,292 --> 00:41:32,667
- What would you spend a
pound on in a sweet shop?
744
00:41:37,333 --> 00:41:40,500
Darling, have you ever
done, like, an interview before?
745
00:41:40,625 --> 00:41:42,792
- No. I will be honest with you.
746
00:41:42,917 --> 00:41:44,958
I've never done
an anything before.
747
00:41:45,042 --> 00:41:46,042
I'm quite new.
748
00:41:46,083 --> 00:41:47,643
I went on a plane
today for the first time.
749
00:41:47,667 --> 00:41:50,792
- Do you know how amazing it is?
- Tell me.
750
00:41:50,917 --> 00:41:53,000
- Today I learned
an astounding thing.
751
00:41:53,083 --> 00:41:54,875
It's always sunny
above the clouds.
752
00:41:55,042 --> 00:41:56,458
However awful it is on Earth
753
00:41:56,542 --> 00:41:59,375
if you go high enough,
it's always summer.
754
00:41:59,542 --> 00:42:01,083
Isn't that amazing?
755
00:42:04,042 --> 00:42:06,917
- Ed, we're finished here, mate.
- I have other questions.
756
00:42:07,125 --> 00:42:09,005
- Look, darling, if you
think I'm gonna sit here
757
00:42:09,083 --> 00:42:10,625
bollocking on about me
758
00:42:10,792 --> 00:42:14,292
when you're both mad as
Jesus and new to abroad.
759
00:42:14,375 --> 00:42:16,417
Come on. We're going out.
760
00:42:21,458 --> 00:42:23,083
Welcome to the world.
761
00:42:25,083 --> 00:42:26,750
James Joyce's favorite pub.
762
00:42:26,833 --> 00:42:28,583
- In Ulysses, it's Davy Byrnes.
763
00:42:56,333 --> 00:42:59,417
- Come on, boy. Watch
out. Rock star here.
764
00:43:00,250 --> 00:43:02,559
- John, how you doing?
- Yeah, I'm alright, mate. I'm good, yeah.
765
00:43:02,583 --> 00:43:04,792
- Let's get you started...
766
00:43:04,917 --> 00:43:06,250
- Same old routine, eh?
767
00:43:06,375 --> 00:43:08,750
- You ready?
Good. It's all good.
768
00:43:09,958 --> 00:43:11,398
There you go.
769
00:43:12,958 --> 00:43:14,125
- Thanks.
770
00:43:16,417 --> 00:43:17,667
- Come on.
771
00:43:19,458 --> 00:43:21,083
Come on, let's do it.
772
00:43:29,625 --> 00:43:31,083
This is the Duchess.
773
00:43:35,833 --> 00:43:39,208
Right, I am reliably
informed by Melody Maker
774
00:43:39,333 --> 00:43:41,458
that I break
hearts in two, so...
775
00:43:42,667 --> 00:43:44,667
Safety goggles on, eh?
776
00:43:46,500 --> 00:43:51,667
♪ You said heartbreak ♪
777
00:43:51,792 --> 00:43:55,792
♪ Only happens ♪
778
00:43:55,917 --> 00:43:59,292
♪ When you're older ♪
779
00:44:02,792 --> 00:44:09,000
♪ Angels don't put
the angels to bed ♪
780
00:44:11,792 --> 00:44:15,333
♪ And it's okay to lie ♪
781
00:44:17,792 --> 00:44:20,917
♪ Is what I have learned ♪
782
00:44:24,917 --> 00:44:31,750
♪ I tell them my day-making
girl is off saving the world ♪
783
00:44:36,542 --> 00:44:42,083
♪ You said heartbreak ♪
784
00:44:42,167 --> 00:44:46,167
♪ Only happens ♪
785
00:44:46,292 --> 00:44:49,167
♪ When you're older ♪
786
00:44:53,500 --> 00:45:00,000
♪ Angels don't put
the angels to bed ♪
787
00:45:02,292 --> 00:45:06,167
♪ And it's okay to lie ♪
788
00:45:08,625 --> 00:45:11,542
♪ Is what I have learned ♪ ♪
789
00:45:18,208 --> 00:45:19,833
Classy.
790
00:45:19,917 --> 00:45:21,208
I'm having this.
791
00:45:23,042 --> 00:45:24,375
Hotel tax, innit?
792
00:45:24,500 --> 00:45:26,500
For the honor of my company.
793
00:45:28,542 --> 00:45:30,417
I do have a proper question now.
794
00:45:30,625 --> 00:45:32,417
- Hit me.
795
00:45:32,500 --> 00:45:34,333
- Why are your songs so sad?
796
00:45:36,625 --> 00:45:38,917
- Oh, baby, now, that's a...
797
00:45:39,042 --> 00:45:40,417
...that's big one.
798
00:45:42,667 --> 00:45:43,667
Well...
799
00:45:45,042 --> 00:45:47,583
...you see, I was, uh...
800
00:45:47,708 --> 00:45:49,333
...born in a
crossfire hurricane.
801
00:45:50,667 --> 00:45:52,375
No, that's a quote.
802
00:45:52,417 --> 00:45:53,958
"Jumpin' Jack Flash."
803
00:45:56,833 --> 00:45:58,792
The Stones?
804
00:45:58,917 --> 00:46:00,958
Have you never
listened to the Stones?
805
00:46:01,500 --> 00:46:04,125
- I have the "Best Of"
reserved at the library
806
00:46:04,250 --> 00:46:06,833
but there are six other
reservations ahead of me.
807
00:46:06,958 --> 00:46:09,583
- And yet you can
quote "Ulysses."
808
00:46:09,667 --> 00:46:11,750
- Well, no one reserved
that at the library.
809
00:46:15,000 --> 00:46:16,333
- I bet.
810
00:46:16,500 --> 00:46:17,500
Well...
811
00:46:18,750 --> 00:46:20,750
...like you, baby,
I'm a scratcher.
812
00:46:20,875 --> 00:46:22,917
I was born in Blackwood,
South Wales Valleys
813
00:46:23,042 --> 00:46:24,583
in a crossfire drizzle.
814
00:46:25,917 --> 00:46:29,042
My mother had my three sisters
815
00:46:29,167 --> 00:46:31,417
and then she got ill.
816
00:46:31,542 --> 00:46:35,292
We'd go and visit her
in hospital and, uh...
817
00:46:35,417 --> 00:46:38,292
...she, uh, she didn't
wanna touch us.
818
00:46:41,042 --> 00:46:43,083
It made her cry.
819
00:46:43,208 --> 00:46:44,667
And when we'd say goodbye
820
00:46:44,792 --> 00:46:47,875
she'd press the tips of
her fingers to her mouth
821
00:46:47,958 --> 00:46:50,667
press it on our mouths,
and say, "This is John's kiss."
822
00:46:53,625 --> 00:46:56,417
And the little ones, you know,
they just wanted their mum.
823
00:46:59,250 --> 00:47:01,208
When she, uh, decided to die...
824
00:47:02,917 --> 00:47:07,042
...I'd go into her wardrobe
and... put on her coat
825
00:47:07,125 --> 00:47:08,917
and hug 'em...
826
00:47:12,458 --> 00:47:14,333
...So they could
smell her, you know.
827
00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:18,000
I read somewhere that's
what you do with puppies.
828
00:47:18,125 --> 00:47:20,125
You... put "em in
a cardboard box"
829
00:47:20,250 --> 00:47:22,625
with a blanket that
smells of their mother.
830
00:47:24,542 --> 00:47:25,917
- And your dad?
831
00:47:30,708 --> 00:47:33,000
This is all off the
record now, of course.
832
00:47:33,208 --> 00:47:37,125
We are off road now,
and off balance, too.
833
00:47:39,958 --> 00:47:42,333
This is far too much about me.
834
00:47:42,417 --> 00:47:45,500
You, tell me one
true thing about you.
835
00:47:45,625 --> 00:47:47,625
Whose eyes do you have?
836
00:47:47,750 --> 00:47:49,167
Whose, whose wonder?
837
00:47:51,042 --> 00:47:54,250
- I used to think that anyone
who didn't have my mother...
838
00:47:54,375 --> 00:47:55,708
My eyes are hers.
839
00:47:55,833 --> 00:47:58,417
Or my father, he's the
one who loves the world
840
00:47:58,542 --> 00:48:01,458
was so unlucky.
841
00:48:01,583 --> 00:48:03,183
They might as well
just lie down and die.
842
00:48:04,750 --> 00:48:07,333
But then she had
the unexpected twins.
843
00:48:10,083 --> 00:48:11,917
And now she's just...
844
00:48:14,750 --> 00:48:16,000
I miss her.
845
00:48:19,292 --> 00:48:20,708
Even though she's there.
846
00:48:22,667 --> 00:48:25,208
So I guess I write
847
00:48:25,292 --> 00:48:29,000
because that's like...
848
00:48:29,125 --> 00:48:32,500
...putting a wish
into a bottle, isn't it?
849
00:48:32,625 --> 00:48:36,083
- Baby, I think we are
both in the business
850
00:48:36,208 --> 00:48:37,667
of putting wishes in bottles.
851
00:48:39,208 --> 00:48:42,083
I mean, that's the
whole business we're in.
852
00:48:56,083 --> 00:48:57,583
- Do you want some nuts?
853
00:48:57,708 --> 00:48:59,917
- Hmm.
- Alright.
854
00:49:03,375 --> 00:49:06,500
I love a bath.
- Oh! Me too.
855
00:49:06,625 --> 00:49:09,250
I just don't understand
showers. They're depressing.
856
00:49:09,417 --> 00:49:11,625
It's like standing in
the rain on purpose.
857
00:49:12,875 --> 00:49:15,083
But I love Doors.
858
00:49:15,167 --> 00:49:16,833
They make the outside stop.
859
00:49:19,542 --> 00:49:21,667
- Ah! I love Doors now.
- Hm.
860
00:49:21,792 --> 00:49:24,250
- I've fallen in love with
Doors. They're amazing.
861
00:49:24,375 --> 00:49:27,667
- But do you love dogs?
- What? Do I love dogs?
862
00:49:27,792 --> 00:49:30,042
I absolutely love dogs.
863
00:49:30,167 --> 00:49:31,527
- What's your
favorite type of dog?
864
00:49:31,625 --> 00:49:34,500
♪ ♪
865
00:50:00,917 --> 00:50:02,208
- Ey, love.
866
00:50:02,250 --> 00:50:06,083
- I am irreversibly in love.
- Oh, nice one, bab.
867
00:50:06,208 --> 00:50:08,128
I've got a gammon on
the go, if you want a slice.
868
00:50:08,208 --> 00:50:09,208
- Dad...
869
00:50:11,000 --> 00:50:13,375
I brought you a
proper pint from Dublin,
870
00:50:13,417 --> 00:50:15,000
like you always wanted.
871
00:50:15,042 --> 00:50:17,833
- Thank you very much
for that, love. That's great.
872
00:50:18,042 --> 00:50:19,917
Look at that. Proper pint.
873
00:50:21,875 --> 00:50:23,208
Oh! It's a bit flat.
874
00:50:26,250 --> 00:50:27,583
- John's nuts.
875
00:50:30,667 --> 00:50:32,333
I don't know what to write.
876
00:50:32,500 --> 00:50:35,000
- Ah! The ecstatic
torture of love.
877
00:50:35,083 --> 00:50:37,125
- The socioeconomic conditions
878
00:50:37,292 --> 00:50:40,333
that lead to the dominance
of working-class rock and roll.
879
00:50:40,417 --> 00:50:43,458
- Just write from the heart,
Jo, and into the bank balance.
880
00:50:43,792 --> 00:50:44,917
- Love that.
881
00:50:49,792 --> 00:50:53,583
John Kite Interview, Dublin
882
00:50:53,708 --> 00:50:55,417
by Dolly Wilde.
883
00:50:59,500 --> 00:51:03,250
Some people aren't
just people but...
884
00:51:03,958 --> 00:51:06,292
a place.
885
00:51:06,333 --> 00:51:08,208
A whole world.
886
00:51:08,333 --> 00:51:13,917
- ♪ You said heartbreak. ♪
887
00:51:14,000 --> 00:51:17,958
♪ Only happens ♪
888
00:51:18,083 --> 00:51:22,458
♪ When you're older... ♪
889
00:51:22,583 --> 00:51:26,333
- Sometimes you find
someone you can just live inside.
890
00:51:26,458 --> 00:51:31,125
- ♪ Angels don't put
the angels to bed ♪
891
00:51:33,750 --> 00:51:36,958
♪ And it's okay to lie ♪
892
00:51:39,917 --> 00:51:43,458
♪ Is what I have learned ♪
893
00:51:46,875 --> 00:51:50,875
♪ I tell them my
day-making girl ♪
894
00:51:53,042 --> 00:51:58,333
♪ She's out saving the world ♪
895
00:51:58,458 --> 00:52:04,167
♪ You said heartbreak ♪
896
00:52:04,250 --> 00:52:08,000
♪ Only happens ♪
897
00:52:08,125 --> 00:52:14,333
♪ When you're older... ♪
898
00:52:14,458 --> 00:52:15,625
- You are the whole world.
899
00:52:15,750 --> 00:52:17,708
- ♪ Angels ♪
900
00:52:17,875 --> 00:52:24,125
♪ Don't put the
angels to bed... ♪
901
00:52:33,083 --> 00:52:34,375
- Come with me.
902
00:52:34,750 --> 00:52:36,708
♪ ♪
903
00:52:42,625 --> 00:52:43,875
Let yourself go.
904
00:52:44,042 --> 00:52:49,375
- ♪ She's off
saving the world... ♪
905
00:52:50,375 --> 00:52:51,750
- Johanna?
906
00:52:51,917 --> 00:52:53,250
Johanna...
907
00:52:53,333 --> 00:52:55,208
Johanna, let me in.
- Go away.
908
00:52:55,333 --> 00:52:56,708
- ♪ Saving the world ♪
909
00:52:56,833 --> 00:52:58,917
♪ Saving the world ♪
910
00:52:59,042 --> 00:53:00,167
♪ Saving... ♪ ♪
911
00:53:00,333 --> 00:53:04,167
- Johanna.
- Uh! Go away, Krissi!
912
00:53:04,292 --> 00:53:06,125
What you doing in there?
913
00:53:06,250 --> 00:53:07,667
Let me in.
914
00:53:07,750 --> 00:53:10,542
Sounds like you're
whisking something.
915
00:53:10,708 --> 00:53:12,684
Johanna, I've just had
a really flirty half an hour
916
00:53:12,708 --> 00:53:14,333
with John Kellog on the 512
917
00:53:14,458 --> 00:53:15,958
and I need to share.
918
00:53:16,125 --> 00:53:17,375
- Ugh!
919
00:53:23,708 --> 00:53:25,000
I was working.
920
00:53:27,542 --> 00:53:29,502
- What, on how to skin
him and wear him as a coat?
921
00:53:29,667 --> 00:53:31,667
- Listen, I finished it.
922
00:53:35,167 --> 00:53:37,375
"John Kite in Dublin.
923
00:53:37,500 --> 00:53:40,375
"He's not a beautiful
boy, nor a tall one
924
00:53:40,500 --> 00:53:42,309
"but when the wind blows
in on the street corner
925
00:53:42,333 --> 00:53:45,000
"you can hear his heart
beat under his shirt.
926
00:53:45,083 --> 00:53:46,917
And when conversation
accelerates..."
927
00:53:47,125 --> 00:53:49,792
- "...you can hear his
mind chime like a clock.
928
00:53:49,917 --> 00:53:51,375
"He is bright, bright, bright
929
00:53:51,500 --> 00:53:53,583
“like the lantern above
a pub door in November.
930
00:53:53,708 --> 00:53:56,542
"He makes you wanna
come in and never leave.
931
00:53:56,667 --> 00:53:58,833
"When he smiles, it's
like plugging in a Wurlitzer.
932
00:53:58,958 --> 00:54:01,042
The dance floor
floods with jivers."
933
00:54:01,167 --> 00:54:04,333
And this, Tony, this is why
we don't employ little girls
934
00:54:04,458 --> 00:54:05,625
to write our newspaper.
935
00:54:05,708 --> 00:54:07,333
- I've never been
in an organization
936
00:54:07,500 --> 00:54:10,208
that wasn't improved
from hiring jailbait.
937
00:54:11,958 --> 00:54:13,542
- Shirley Temple is fired.
938
00:54:21,208 --> 00:54:22,875
- What you doing, bab?
939
00:54:23,042 --> 00:54:24,208
- Waiting for a phone call
940
00:54:24,250 --> 00:54:26,750
that determines
my entire future.
941
00:54:26,917 --> 00:54:28,167
- How long you been waiting?
942
00:54:28,292 --> 00:54:30,458
- Since 10 o'clock this morning.
943
00:54:30,583 --> 00:54:32,292
- I know the feeling, love.
944
00:54:32,375 --> 00:54:35,375
I've been waiting
for mine since 1978.
945
00:54:35,542 --> 00:54:37,542
Ah! Keep at it, cooker.
946
00:54:39,542 --> 00:54:42,417
♪ ♪
947
00:54:47,042 --> 00:54:48,042
- Ring.
948
00:54:49,125 --> 00:54:50,208
Ow!
949
00:55:07,250 --> 00:55:08,500
Ring.
950
00:55:34,417 --> 00:55:35,875
- Is this all?
951
00:55:36,042 --> 00:55:38,208
- I kind of lost
my mojo, Mrs. B.
952
00:55:38,292 --> 00:55:40,042
I'm doubting my authorial voice.
953
00:55:40,208 --> 00:55:43,125
- I don't need your
authorial voice, Johanna.
954
00:55:43,208 --> 00:55:46,125
I need 500 words on
Anna Karenina by 11:20.
955
00:55:46,292 --> 00:55:47,917
- I can give you the headline.
956
00:55:48,042 --> 00:55:52,000
"Unhappy girl throws herself
under a train. Fair enough."
957
00:55:52,125 --> 00:55:54,250
- As things stand,
you're headed to a future
958
00:55:54,375 --> 00:55:56,542
stacking cheddar on the
cheese counter at Safeway.
959
00:55:56,667 --> 00:55:58,125
- You're kind of crushing my
960
00:55:58,250 --> 00:56:00,375
already faltering
zest for life, Mrs. B.
961
00:56:00,500 --> 00:56:04,208
- Yes. I'm the
cold light of day.
962
00:56:04,333 --> 00:56:05,625
A hope smasher.
963
00:56:06,875 --> 00:56:08,917
A teacher.
964
00:56:17,292 --> 00:56:19,167
- Dolly Wilde.
965
00:56:19,333 --> 00:56:21,708
- Ah! No, love.
- I should be.
966
00:56:21,792 --> 00:56:23,458
Try Johanna Morrigan.
967
00:56:23,583 --> 00:56:25,375
- Neither of you
are on here, love.
968
00:56:25,833 --> 00:56:28,250
- Don't you know who I
thought I was six weeks ago?
969
00:56:29,708 --> 00:56:31,208
You're funny.
970
00:56:31,333 --> 00:56:32,733
You should be a
writer or something.
971
00:56:33,083 --> 00:56:34,403
You're still not
coming in though.
972
00:56:38,458 --> 00:56:39,833
- No!
973
00:56:39,958 --> 00:56:41,958
No! No!
974
00:56:54,708 --> 00:56:56,042
- You've hit rock bottom?
975
00:56:56,208 --> 00:56:58,208
Amazing. Details now, please.
976
00:56:59,083 --> 00:57:00,750
- I was so close.
977
00:57:00,917 --> 00:57:04,042
I had the perfect
life. I had friends.
978
00:57:04,125 --> 00:57:06,542
I was almost out of here.
979
00:57:06,708 --> 00:57:08,417
Now it's gone.
980
00:57:08,542 --> 00:57:10,625
I'm 16 and I'm over.
981
00:57:10,750 --> 00:57:12,500
- You can't be over.
982
00:57:12,625 --> 00:57:15,333
You don't have the privilege
of that option, do you?
983
00:57:17,083 --> 00:57:19,583
You cannot deny
physics, darling.
984
00:57:19,667 --> 00:57:22,250
You are the unstoppable force.
985
00:57:22,500 --> 00:57:25,500
So... don't stop.
986
00:57:31,250 --> 00:57:33,375
Come on, let me walk you home.
987
00:57:38,625 --> 00:57:40,750
♪ Looking out the door ♪
988
00:57:40,833 --> 00:57:46,667
♪ I see the rain fall upon
the funeral mourners ♪
989
00:57:50,500 --> 00:57:54,875
♪ Parading in a
wake of sad relations ♪
990
00:57:55,042 --> 00:57:57,833
♪ As their shoes
fill up with water ♪
991
00:58:04,250 --> 00:58:06,583
♪ Maybe I'm too young ♪
992
00:58:08,417 --> 00:58:13,583
♪ To keep good love
from goin' wrong ♪
993
00:58:13,708 --> 00:58:16,458
♪ But tonight ♪
994
00:58:16,583 --> 00:58:21,292
♪ You're on my mind so ♪
995
00:58:23,083 --> 00:58:24,875
♪ You'll never know ♪. ♪
996
00:58:30,250 --> 00:58:31,208
- Alright. Cool.
997
00:58:31,250 --> 00:58:33,458
Let's just freakin'
wake up. Come on.
998
00:58:33,625 --> 00:58:36,167
- This is definitely
goin' out as well.
999
00:58:36,250 --> 00:58:37,250
Nothing else. No way.
1000
00:58:37,333 --> 00:58:39,458
I don't ever want
to hear that...
1001
00:58:41,250 --> 00:58:43,208
- Yes. Alright, boss. Yeah.
1002
00:58:43,333 --> 00:58:46,708
You're slacking. Make sure
that bit is right in the middle.
1003
00:58:48,042 --> 00:58:50,500
- I've hit the glass ceiling.
1004
00:58:50,625 --> 00:58:54,167
I'm an unstoppable force, and
yet I'm being stopped. Why?
1005
00:58:55,917 --> 00:58:59,083
- Well, what you don't
understand yet is that this is war.
1006
00:58:59,458 --> 00:59:00,833
- War?
1007
00:59:00,917 --> 00:59:03,917
- There's only 15 or 20 bands
out there who really matter
1008
00:59:04,083 --> 00:59:06,125
ones who can
change people's lives.
1009
00:59:06,208 --> 00:59:07,667
- So?
1010
00:59:07,833 --> 00:59:11,625
- So our job here is
to remove the parasites
1011
00:59:11,792 --> 00:59:14,667
napalm them from
their huts, clear the way.
1012
00:59:14,750 --> 00:59:16,150
- Yes, yes, yes...
- That's alright.
1013
00:59:16,250 --> 00:59:18,542
I could, uh, I
could listen to that.
1014
00:59:18,625 --> 00:59:20,917
- Baby...
1015
00:59:21,042 --> 00:59:24,833
...that John Kite feature,
Kenny wasn't impressed.
1016
00:59:24,958 --> 00:59:27,792
You just sounded like
an excited teenage girl.
1017
00:59:27,917 --> 00:59:30,042
- I am an excited teenage girl.
1018
00:59:30,167 --> 00:59:32,458
- Well, fan or hack?
1019
00:59:33,708 --> 00:59:35,500
Decide.
1020
00:59:35,958 --> 00:59:37,667
- If I want to get ahead
1021
00:59:37,833 --> 00:59:40,625
I've got to get a hate?
1022
00:59:42,292 --> 00:59:44,250
- We need you.
1023
00:59:45,042 --> 00:59:47,708
So everyone my
whole life has lied to me.
1024
00:59:47,792 --> 00:59:50,417
A nice girl gets nowhere.
1025
00:59:50,750 --> 00:59:51,917
But a bitch...
1026
00:59:52,000 --> 00:59:53,750
...a bitch can make a comeback.
1027
00:59:55,500 --> 00:59:57,583
I have no choice.
1028
00:59:57,750 --> 01:00:02,125
Pop has a new
gatekeeper, Dolly Wilde.
1029
01:00:02,250 --> 01:00:04,476
And I will not let you through
if you think it's acceptable
1030
01:00:04,500 --> 01:00:06,875
to dress like
work-experience vampires
1031
01:00:07,000 --> 01:00:09,042
and I mean you, The Hallows.
1032
01:00:09,167 --> 01:00:13,083
- "This is rock and roll, guys,
not a clown hair competition."
1033
01:00:13,208 --> 01:00:14,500
-It is a truth
1034
01:00:14,625 --> 01:00:18,083
universally acknowledged
1035
01:00:18,167 --> 01:00:20,708
that Paul Simon looks like a toe
1036
01:00:20,875 --> 01:00:23,583
someone drew a face on.
1037
01:00:25,500 --> 01:00:27,667
Joni Mitchell, voice of an angel
1038
01:00:27,833 --> 01:00:29,458
face of a Grand National winner.
1039
01:00:29,542 --> 01:00:31,667
- Who is this bitch Dolly Wilde?
1040
01:00:33,417 --> 01:00:35,333
Hippies, just so you know
1041
01:00:35,500 --> 01:00:38,167
there is no such thing
as a didgeridoo player.
1042
01:00:38,250 --> 01:00:40,458
That is a man
mooing down a pipe.
1043
01:00:42,333 --> 01:00:45,708
This is horrible,
like ear cystitis.
1044
01:00:48,333 --> 01:00:50,042
- ♪ Now it's in... ♪
1045
01:00:50,125 --> 01:00:52,917
Guys, when did the
burglar steal your talent?
1046
01:00:53,042 --> 01:00:54,833
I'm calling the police.
1047
01:00:55,583 --> 01:00:57,250
"Jump Around" by House of Pain
1048
01:00:57,375 --> 01:00:59,583
is the kind of music
testicles would make.
1049
01:01:00,542 --> 01:01:02,059
- Alright, mate. Bye.
- Here you go, mate.
1050
01:01:02,083 --> 01:01:03,083
- Dude.
1051
01:01:03,125 --> 01:01:04,750
♪ ♪
1052
01:01:06,792 --> 01:01:09,708
Dolly Wilde,
every single letter.
1053
01:01:14,875 --> 01:01:16,042
- You're welcome.
1054
01:01:17,958 --> 01:01:19,083
- What do you reckon?
1055
01:01:21,375 --> 01:01:23,875
- No, stop. Halt. Stop this.
1056
01:01:24,458 --> 01:01:26,792
- Oh, this is bad.
- Stop. Stop this.
1057
01:01:28,458 --> 01:01:30,958
- Whatever happened
to raindrops on roses
1058
01:01:31,083 --> 01:01:33,125
and whiskers on
kittens, Johanna?
1059
01:01:33,250 --> 01:01:34,958
- They don't pay the rent.
1060
01:01:38,208 --> 01:01:40,583
♪ ♪
1061
01:01:41,208 --> 01:01:42,458
- Dolly!
- Dolly! Dolly!
1062
01:01:42,542 --> 01:01:44,833
- Hi! How're you?
1063
01:01:45,000 --> 01:01:46,292
- May I?
1064
01:01:53,417 --> 01:01:55,208
So, you don't have to worry
1065
01:01:55,333 --> 01:01:57,542
about that hymen
anymore, Krissi.
1066
01:01:57,625 --> 01:01:59,375
It's gone.
1067
01:01:59,542 --> 01:02:02,250
I've literally taken
one for the team.
1068
01:02:02,583 --> 01:02:04,125
The team of sex.
1069
01:02:04,167 --> 01:02:06,250
I'm post-virginity.
1070
01:02:06,333 --> 01:02:08,708
And it turns out,
I'm really good at it.
1071
01:02:18,542 --> 01:02:20,958
Everyone wants a
piece of Dolly Wilde
1072
01:02:21,083 --> 01:02:23,542
and God wisely made
enough to go around.
1073
01:02:23,667 --> 01:02:25,708
So I'm entering my
inevitable period of
1074
01:02:25,833 --> 01:02:28,875
intense sexual experimentation.
1075
01:02:34,167 --> 01:02:36,167
I've done it with someone
from West Bromwich.
1076
01:02:39,083 --> 01:02:41,667
I've done it with
a freaky foot guy.
1077
01:02:41,792 --> 01:02:45,583
I did with a man who faints
every time he sees a nipple.
1078
01:02:47,458 --> 01:02:48,917
And just last night
1079
01:02:49,042 --> 01:02:51,500
I encountered something
I didn't think was possible.
1080
01:02:53,750 --> 01:02:55,583
A penis that was too big.
1081
01:02:58,458 --> 01:03:01,375
- Luckily, I'm a quick
learner. I'll give you my tips.
1082
01:03:01,500 --> 01:03:03,292
One, when in missionary
1083
01:03:03,417 --> 01:03:05,083
place your hands
flat on his chest
1084
01:03:05,208 --> 01:03:07,667
and brace, brace,
brace with your arms.
1085
01:03:07,792 --> 01:03:09,750
Two, in doggy
1086
01:03:09,875 --> 01:03:12,583
you can essentially keep
crawling away from the penis.
1087
01:03:12,708 --> 01:03:14,428
Every time he tries
to get a bit more inside
1088
01:03:14,542 --> 01:03:16,250
you just gallop a little faster.
1089
01:03:17,708 --> 01:03:19,542
- Kris?
- I'm gonna be sick.
1090
01:03:19,667 --> 01:03:20,833
- Kris!
1091
01:03:20,958 --> 01:03:23,000
Kris! Kris!
1092
01:03:23,083 --> 01:03:25,042
You can share some of
your sexual experiences
1093
01:03:25,208 --> 01:03:26,292
such as they may be.
1094
01:03:26,375 --> 01:03:27,500
- Hm...
1095
01:03:27,625 --> 01:03:29,708
You need to be more repressed.
1096
01:03:34,833 --> 01:03:37,667
- So, anyway, between us girls
1097
01:03:37,792 --> 01:03:40,625
in all this, the only thing
I haven't learned is this,
1098
01:03:40,792 --> 01:03:42,542
how does a man make you come?
1099
01:03:42,625 --> 01:03:44,000
- Ooh! I know what
you're saying...
1100
01:03:44,125 --> 01:03:45,917
- Oh, well, that is
the big question.
1101
01:03:46,042 --> 01:03:48,583
- Well, we managed without.
- Speak for yourself.
1102
01:03:48,708 --> 01:03:50,958
I like to give myself a
damn good wuthering.
1103
01:03:51,083 --> 01:03:54,500
- I did try it once,
but I... I didn't like it.
1104
01:03:54,667 --> 01:03:58,583
- You just have to have a
little fiddle with yourself, darling.
1105
01:03:58,708 --> 01:04:00,417
- That's exactly what I did.
1106
01:04:02,417 --> 01:04:04,000
- That's my girl.
1107
01:04:12,625 --> 01:04:14,625
- Jeeves.
1108
01:04:14,792 --> 01:04:17,042
These boots need
a lift to the station.
1109
01:04:17,125 --> 01:04:18,542
- Darling, I would love to
1110
01:04:18,708 --> 01:04:21,417
but, uh, there's been
a bit of a development.
1111
01:04:28,750 --> 01:04:30,542
- Where's the van?
1112
01:04:30,667 --> 01:04:32,708
- You've inspired me, love.
1113
01:04:32,833 --> 01:04:34,417
I sold it.
1114
01:04:34,542 --> 01:04:36,042
- You've sold it?
1115
01:04:36,208 --> 01:04:37,928
- Where the bloody hell
did you appear from?
1116
01:04:38,292 --> 01:04:41,208
- I manifest whenever
someone sells my fucking car.
1117
01:04:41,333 --> 01:04:43,667
- Why did you sell it?
- To do this.
1118
01:04:48,083 --> 01:04:51,292
Here, look, you.
- Unbelievable.
1119
01:04:51,417 --> 01:04:52,833
- Huh?
- Not again, Pat.
1120
01:04:53,000 --> 01:04:55,083
- I got these done and all.
1121
01:04:55,167 --> 01:04:56,167
- Mayonnaise...
1122
01:04:56,208 --> 01:04:58,208
You called yourself Mayonnaise?
1123
01:04:58,333 --> 01:05:00,458
- You sold the cow
for magic beans.
1124
01:05:00,583 --> 01:05:04,250
- Do you not have any
faith in our daughter, Angie?
1125
01:05:04,375 --> 01:05:06,542
You can make
me, can't you, love?
1126
01:05:06,667 --> 01:05:08,708
- Absolutely. I'm all over it.
1127
01:05:08,833 --> 01:05:11,708
♪ ♪
1128
01:05:16,083 --> 01:05:18,101
The thing about crossing
over to the dark side
1129
01:05:18,125 --> 01:05:20,792
is that once you're there,
it doesn't feel dark at all.
1130
01:05:20,917 --> 01:05:23,875
Hello.
- Dolly, how you doing, girl?
1131
01:05:24,792 --> 01:05:27,167
It feels warm and welcoming.
1132
01:05:27,458 --> 01:05:30,833
You and your friends are
just taking care of business.
1133
01:05:33,875 --> 01:05:35,208
To evil.
- To evil.
1134
01:05:35,375 --> 01:05:36,375
Mmm.
1135
01:05:39,333 --> 01:05:41,917
- Votes on this. Keep?
- Yes.
1136
01:05:42,000 --> 01:05:44,458
- Whoa!
- Majority vote. It lives.
1137
01:05:44,583 --> 01:05:46,333
- I think so.
- Next one.
1138
01:05:49,708 --> 01:05:52,208
- This is imported, man.
I'm not messing about.
1139
01:05:55,292 --> 01:05:57,042
- Fuck, no!
- Oh! That's bad.
1140
01:05:57,208 --> 01:06:00,583
- No.
- This is raping my ears.
1141
01:06:00,708 --> 01:06:02,250
- Kill.
- Kill it.
1142
01:06:02,375 --> 01:06:04,000
- Kill.
- Kill!
1143
01:06:04,125 --> 01:06:05,458
- Kill!
- You do it this time.
1144
01:06:05,583 --> 01:06:06,708
- Kill!
- Kill!
1145
01:06:06,833 --> 01:06:07,750
- Kill!
- Kill!
1146
01:06:07,833 --> 01:06:10,417
- Kill! Kill!
- Throw.
1147
01:06:10,583 --> 01:06:11,625
- Here we go.
1148
01:06:14,667 --> 01:06:16,708
- Cracker.
- Good shot, sir.
1149
01:06:16,875 --> 01:06:18,375
- Right, what's this one called?
1150
01:06:18,500 --> 01:06:21,417
- Don't know.
- Yeah, it's a bit scary.
1151
01:06:21,542 --> 01:06:23,458
- Cheers.
- Here have some of this.
1152
01:06:23,542 --> 01:06:24,750
- Alright.
1153
01:06:26,625 --> 01:06:28,500
- This is some Malawi-wowie,
do you want some?
1154
01:06:28,625 --> 01:06:30,708
- Yeah.
- Have a twig at that.
1155
01:06:30,833 --> 01:06:32,542
- Does it matter what
someone looks like?
1156
01:06:32,667 --> 01:06:35,375
- Oh, right, says the woman who
last week described Tori Amos
1157
01:06:35,500 --> 01:06:37,750
as having both the hair
and future of a mammoth.
1158
01:06:39,375 --> 01:06:41,042
What's the band?
What're they called?
1159
01:06:41,167 --> 01:06:43,667
- Mayonnaise.
- Mayonnaise?
1160
01:06:43,792 --> 01:06:45,226
- Who right now would
go to their desk and write
1161
01:06:45,250 --> 01:06:47,167
"I love Mayonnaise?"
1162
01:06:47,292 --> 01:06:48,875
- Not me.
- Kill it.
1163
01:06:49,208 --> 01:06:50,958
- Kill it!
- Kill it!
1164
01:06:51,083 --> 01:06:53,042
- Kill it.
- Kill.
1165
01:06:53,542 --> 01:06:54,667
- Kill it.
1166
01:06:54,833 --> 01:06:56,375
- Kill! Kill!
- Kill! Kill!
1167
01:06:56,792 --> 01:06:58,018
- Time for your
first blood, darling.
1168
01:06:58,042 --> 01:06:59,917
- Kill! Kill!
- Kill! Kill!
1169
01:07:00,083 --> 01:07:01,208
- Kill! Kill!
- Kill! Kill!
1170
01:07:01,292 --> 01:07:02,292
- Kill!
- Kill!
1171
01:07:04,167 --> 01:07:06,625
- You're so out
of the loop, man.
1172
01:07:09,042 --> 01:07:11,667
- Big moment.
- Go on, Dolly!
1173
01:07:14,667 --> 01:07:15,667
- Throw.
1174
01:07:21,875 --> 01:07:23,875
- Nice!
- Yes, Dolly.
1175
01:07:23,958 --> 01:07:26,000
I just shot Dad.
1176
01:07:26,167 --> 01:07:28,625
- Nice work, Dolly. Yes!
1177
01:07:28,750 --> 01:07:29,750
Whoo-hoo!
1178
01:07:30,875 --> 01:07:33,750
♪ ♪
1179
01:07:38,167 --> 01:07:39,833
♪ Hit it ♪
1180
01:07:39,917 --> 01:07:42,333
♪ Ooh baby baby. ♪
1181
01:07:42,500 --> 01:07:43,833
♪ Baby baby ♪
1182
01:07:43,917 --> 01:07:45,750
♪ Ooh baby baby. ♪
1183
01:07:45,917 --> 01:07:47,375
♪ Bab baby baby.. ♪
1184
01:07:51,375 --> 01:07:52,375
- Dolly!
- Hey, Dolly..
1185
01:07:52,458 --> 01:07:53,833
- Dolly! Dolly!
1186
01:07:55,792 --> 01:07:56,792
- Come on.
1187
01:07:57,750 --> 01:07:58,750
Oh, right, up.
1188
01:08:00,458 --> 01:08:03,208
Bit of love, bit of
hate in the room there.
1189
01:08:03,750 --> 01:08:07,375
- Thank you. Your
hate is delicious.
1190
01:08:09,792 --> 01:08:12,667
♪ ♪
1191
01:08:18,583 --> 01:08:20,000
- Whoo!
- Oh, hey!
1192
01:08:20,167 --> 01:08:21,958
- Cheers!
1193
01:08:22,042 --> 01:08:25,458
- And now to the most hotly
contested award of the night.
1194
01:08:25,583 --> 01:08:29,833
Yes, ladies and gentlemen,
it's Arsehole of the Year.
1195
01:08:29,958 --> 01:08:32,125
And in a year packed
with contenders
1196
01:08:32,292 --> 01:08:36,583
the winner proves that feminism
really is making advances.
1197
01:08:36,667 --> 01:08:39,667
The woman who suggested
the world would be a better place
1198
01:08:39,792 --> 01:08:41,917
if Eddie Vedder from Pearl Jam
1199
01:08:42,083 --> 01:08:44,792
ripped off another
idea from Kurt Cobain
1200
01:08:44,917 --> 01:08:48,417
and shot himself to death.
1201
01:08:48,542 --> 01:08:50,125
It's Dolly Wilde!
1202
01:08:50,250 --> 01:08:51,708
♪ I'm an asshole ♪
1203
01:08:51,833 --> 01:08:54,667
♪ He's an asshole
what an asshole ♪
1204
01:08:54,792 --> 01:08:56,333
♪ I'm an asshole ♪
1205
01:08:56,417 --> 01:08:59,042
♪ He's the world's
biggest asshole... ♪
1206
01:09:03,750 --> 01:09:05,750
- Sit on my face!
1207
01:09:07,083 --> 01:09:10,292
- Sit on your own
goddamn face. I'm too busy.
1208
01:09:11,833 --> 01:09:14,000
Whoo!
1209
01:09:14,167 --> 01:09:16,042
- Ladies and
gentlemen, Dolly Wilde
1210
01:09:16,125 --> 01:09:18,375
Arsehole of the Year.
1211
01:09:19,958 --> 01:09:22,542
♪ I'm an asshole ♪
1212
01:09:22,750 --> 01:09:24,417
Let's hear it once
more for Dolly Wilde.
1213
01:09:34,042 --> 01:09:35,500
- You're a good
person, aren't you?
1214
01:09:35,625 --> 01:09:37,917
- I definitely need some
guidance. That's without a doubt.
1215
01:09:39,250 --> 01:09:41,375
Hello.
- Got a light, dude?
1216
01:09:41,500 --> 01:09:43,208
- Oh, are you smoking
now, Duchess?
1217
01:09:43,250 --> 01:09:43,958
- Yeah.
1218
01:09:44,000 --> 01:09:46,792
- It's just, eh, most people
tend to smoke 'em the, ah
1219
01:09:46,875 --> 01:09:47,958
the other way round.
1220
01:09:49,333 --> 01:09:50,667
There you go.
1221
01:09:52,708 --> 01:09:54,668
- Aren't you going to
congratulate me on my award?
1222
01:09:54,708 --> 01:09:56,083
I'm Arsehole of the Year.
1223
01:09:56,250 --> 01:09:58,125
- Do you wish me to
congratulate you on that?
1224
01:09:58,208 --> 01:09:59,500
- I'm the best at a thing.
1225
01:09:59,625 --> 01:10:01,750
- Well, then, I wholeheartedly
congratulate you
1226
01:10:01,875 --> 01:10:03,583
on your peerless evil.
1227
01:10:03,750 --> 01:10:05,417
Thank you.
1228
01:10:05,542 --> 01:10:06,750
- You think it's ignoble?
1229
01:10:06,875 --> 01:10:08,750
- I'm a massive
fan of your bullshit.
1230
01:10:08,875 --> 01:10:10,958
I think you are smashing
it, hogwash-wise.
1231
01:10:11,083 --> 01:10:14,833
- Mm. There's no greater
rule than "Bitch gotta pay rent."
1232
01:10:14,958 --> 01:10:18,083
- I've always preferred, in
the end, "Say one true thing."
1233
01:10:21,250 --> 01:10:22,375
- Okay.
1234
01:10:24,208 --> 01:10:25,417
I am in love with you.
1235
01:10:26,917 --> 01:10:28,250
I am in love with you.
1236
01:10:31,333 --> 01:10:32,417
- What?
1237
01:10:32,500 --> 01:10:34,292
- You want one true thing.
1238
01:10:37,875 --> 01:10:41,417
- Johanna.
- Now, we should kiss.
1239
01:10:51,167 --> 01:10:52,583
- That's not me, Dutch.
1240
01:10:53,958 --> 01:10:55,458
That's not my way.
1241
01:11:02,625 --> 01:11:03,625
- John?
1242
01:11:05,042 --> 01:11:06,292
- Yeah, let's go.
1243
01:11:10,250 --> 01:11:12,792
- Has St. Winifred's school
choir had too much pop?
1244
01:11:14,333 --> 01:11:17,667
- Ah. We must never
forget that it's a miracle
1245
01:11:17,833 --> 01:11:20,292
when anyone gets anywhere
from a bad post code.
1246
01:11:22,500 --> 01:11:25,000
And we must always
be respectful of miracles.
1247
01:11:25,208 --> 01:11:26,458
- Ahh.
1248
01:11:28,375 --> 01:11:29,958
I'll be respectful, then.
1249
01:11:34,625 --> 01:11:36,375
Clever girl.
1250
01:11:37,333 --> 01:11:38,458
- Whoo!
1251
01:12:04,667 --> 01:12:05,958
One true thing?
1252
01:12:07,833 --> 01:12:11,500
Okay, I'll write one true thing.
1253
01:12:11,667 --> 01:12:14,542
♪ ♪
1254
01:12:40,250 --> 01:12:42,542
- "The real John Kite.
1255
01:12:42,667 --> 01:12:46,000
"He finally opens up over
his heartbreaking childhood
1256
01:12:46,208 --> 01:12:48,500
"his mother's suicide
1257
01:12:48,583 --> 01:12:51,125
"and the origins
of that iconic coat
1258
01:12:51,250 --> 01:12:54,125
by the journalist that
knows him best, Dolly Wilde."
1259
01:12:54,250 --> 01:12:55,583
Fuck. Exclusive.
1260
01:12:56,750 --> 01:12:58,125
You've got a front cover.
1261
01:13:00,833 --> 01:13:03,708
♪ ♪
1262
01:13:14,958 --> 01:13:16,125
- Ask me.
1263
01:13:17,417 --> 01:13:18,875
- No.
- Ask me.
1264
01:13:19,042 --> 01:13:20,167
- No.
1265
01:13:20,292 --> 01:13:22,958
- Please, Krissi,
be happy for me.
1266
01:13:23,083 --> 01:13:24,250
I won a thing.
1267
01:13:24,375 --> 01:13:25,667
And, by the way
1268
01:13:25,750 --> 01:13:27,917
I made a man who went
to university at Cambridge
1269
01:13:28,125 --> 01:13:29,750
ejaculate into my
comprehensively
1270
01:13:29,833 --> 01:13:31,292
educated genitals.
1271
01:13:31,458 --> 01:13:33,458
- Con-spunkulations.
1272
01:13:33,542 --> 01:13:35,667
Do you wanna ask me about
my date with John Kellog
1273
01:13:35,833 --> 01:13:37,042
and his bag?
1274
01:13:38,750 --> 01:13:40,208
After I promised
on our mother's life
1275
01:13:40,333 --> 01:13:43,125
that I would never
ever tell anyone
1276
01:13:43,250 --> 01:13:45,708
we drove 15 miles
out into the countryside
1277
01:13:45,833 --> 01:13:48,708
blocked out all the
windows with towels...
1278
01:13:48,833 --> 01:13:50,083
...and kissed.
1279
01:13:50,208 --> 01:13:51,583
- Our dark queen.
1280
01:13:53,625 --> 01:13:55,000
! won!
1281
01:13:56,125 --> 01:13:58,000
I'm Arsehole of the Year!
1282
01:14:03,625 --> 01:14:05,708
I woke up in London.
1283
01:14:05,875 --> 01:14:08,167
I'm too sexual for this room.
1284
01:14:09,375 --> 01:14:11,833
- Johanna, enough.
1285
01:14:12,042 --> 01:14:14,792
This delinquency phase,
it's just not working.
1286
01:14:14,833 --> 01:14:17,333
You need to choose.
- Oh!
1287
01:14:17,917 --> 01:14:19,167
- You're right.
1288
01:14:20,333 --> 01:14:21,750
So I resign.
1289
01:14:21,917 --> 01:14:23,292
- Oh, no!
- No.
1290
01:14:23,375 --> 01:14:24,542
No, Johanna.
1291
01:14:26,667 --> 01:14:29,292
Class, take out your
"Taming of the Shrew."
1292
01:14:31,500 --> 01:14:32,625
♪ ♪
1293
01:14:32,667 --> 01:14:34,000
♪ Oh oh-oh ♪
1294
01:14:35,667 --> 01:14:36,667
Johanna.
1295
01:14:36,708 --> 01:14:38,625
♪ Oh oh-oh-oh ♪
1296
01:14:38,750 --> 01:14:40,125
Johanna, stop.
1297
01:14:40,250 --> 01:14:41,875
Stop.
1298
01:14:41,958 --> 01:14:45,083
- No offense, but Patti Smith
didn't keep getting harassed
1299
01:14:45,208 --> 01:14:47,250
to take the gerbil
home at weekends.
1300
01:14:47,417 --> 01:14:49,542
I'm going to get my
kicks while I'm still young.
1301
01:14:49,667 --> 01:14:50,792
My future turned up early.
1302
01:14:50,917 --> 01:14:52,542
I'm not going to
keep it waiting.
1303
01:14:52,708 --> 01:14:55,375
- The future can be
awfully short, Johanna.
1304
01:14:57,250 --> 01:14:59,333
- I haven't got
anywhere else to go.
1305
01:15:08,667 --> 01:15:09,667
- Johanna?
1306
01:15:15,208 --> 01:15:16,684
- I don't want to
look at you, Johanna.
1307
01:15:16,708 --> 01:15:17,976
No, I don't want to
look at you, Johanna.
1308
01:15:18,000 --> 01:15:19,417
I'm sick of it.
- What?
1309
01:15:19,542 --> 01:15:22,000
- Six months ago, you
were a happy girl actually
1310
01:15:22,125 --> 01:15:23,833
being useful around the house.
1311
01:15:23,917 --> 01:15:26,000
And now I've got
him telling me that
1312
01:15:26,167 --> 01:15:27,708
you've cock-blocked his career.
1313
01:15:27,792 --> 01:15:29,458
- I never said that.
- Him in tears...
1314
01:15:29,667 --> 01:15:31,393
- To be clear, they were
intellectually justified
1315
01:15:31,417 --> 01:15:32,833
tears of rage.
1316
01:15:32,958 --> 01:15:34,143
- ...saying that you've
treated him like a...
1317
01:15:34,167 --> 01:15:35,542
- An indolent hobbyist.
- Yeah.
1318
01:15:35,625 --> 01:15:37,625
And, and now your
teacher's on the phone
1319
01:15:37,792 --> 01:15:39,583
saying that you've resigned.
1320
01:15:39,667 --> 01:15:40,917
So my question to you, Johanna
1321
01:15:41,042 --> 01:15:42,875
is when did you lose
your fucking mind?
1322
01:15:43,000 --> 01:15:45,792
- I guess it was around the time
I stopped being your daughter
1323
01:15:45,958 --> 01:15:46,875
and became the rent.
1324
01:15:46,958 --> 01:15:48,333
The same time I like to think
1325
01:15:48,458 --> 01:15:50,417
you became
absolutely disqualified
1326
01:15:50,542 --> 01:15:52,000
from criticizing me.
1327
01:15:52,292 --> 01:15:55,083
- We're your parents.
We can always criticize ya.
1328
01:15:55,208 --> 01:15:59,042
- No, not if you aren't actually
doing any parenting of me
1329
01:15:59,167 --> 01:16:02,708
and you are selling cars
I bought in order to fund
1330
01:16:02,833 --> 01:16:05,667
"Springtime for Hitler,
A Jazz Odyssey."
1331
01:16:10,042 --> 01:16:11,250
Oh, my God.
1332
01:16:11,292 --> 01:16:13,958
There's still no one
saying, "Sorry, Johanna."
1333
01:16:14,000 --> 01:16:15,542
Or, "Well done, Johanna."
1334
01:16:15,708 --> 01:16:17,917
Or, "Things must have
been hard for you, Johanna."
1335
01:16:18,000 --> 01:16:20,500
Do you think all this is normal?
Do you think I'm normal?
1336
01:16:20,667 --> 01:16:23,167
Well, it's not. None
of this is normal.
1337
01:16:23,250 --> 01:16:24,917
- I invested that
money in our future.
1338
01:16:25,042 --> 01:16:27,125
- It's not our future.
1339
01:16:27,250 --> 01:16:31,000
You're not the future.
Don't you understand?
1340
01:16:31,125 --> 01:16:33,351
Do you know what happened
when I played them your record, Dad?
1341
01:16:33,375 --> 01:16:35,292
They shot it with a gun.
1342
01:16:35,917 --> 01:16:38,000
They laughed at
it first, obviously.
1343
01:16:38,125 --> 01:16:41,375
And then they threw it
off a roof and I shot it.
1344
01:16:43,583 --> 01:16:44,833
Don't you get it?
1345
01:16:44,958 --> 01:16:47,667
I'm the future. I'm
paying for everything.
1346
01:16:47,792 --> 01:16:51,292
Let's see how you manage
without me, Ringo, Ringo and Ringo.
1347
01:16:51,458 --> 01:16:52,958
Fuck you all.
1348
01:16:58,667 --> 01:17:00,333
- Whoo!
1349
01:17:02,500 --> 01:17:06,125
- Everyone, look who's
come to join our happy tribe.
1350
01:17:06,250 --> 01:17:07,458
- Yes!
1351
01:17:07,542 --> 01:17:09,292
- It's the Arsehole of the Year.
1352
01:17:09,417 --> 01:17:10,792
- Let's get a
drink. Get a drink.
1353
01:17:10,958 --> 01:17:12,500
- Emilia...
1354
01:17:12,583 --> 01:17:15,167
Natasha, Sasha.
1355
01:17:15,292 --> 01:17:16,625
This is Dolly Wilde.
1356
01:17:16,750 --> 01:17:19,625
- She's trouble.
- Yes, I am trouble.
1357
01:17:19,750 --> 01:17:21,208
- Come, join us, trouble.
1358
01:17:21,333 --> 01:17:22,809
In fact, make that a
double for the trouble.
1359
01:17:22,833 --> 01:17:24,542
- Trouble.
- There you are.
1360
01:17:24,667 --> 01:17:26,333
- Dolly Wilde.
1361
01:17:26,417 --> 01:17:28,059
How would you like to
become a full-time staff member
1362
01:17:28,083 --> 01:17:30,250
of ♪-and-ME?
1363
01:17:30,333 --> 01:17:31,583
That's 19 grand a year.
1364
01:17:31,750 --> 01:17:34,458
The youngest person
ever to join the staff.
1365
01:17:36,417 --> 01:17:38,000
I accept.
1366
01:17:38,083 --> 01:17:40,083
- Oh. Come here, baby.
1367
01:17:45,375 --> 01:17:47,458
- Mm.
- I feel sick.
1368
01:17:49,500 --> 01:17:50,708
- Here it comes.
1369
01:18:01,000 --> 01:18:04,083
- Okay, Tony, it's
your turn. Come on.
1370
01:18:04,208 --> 01:18:06,875
- Okay, so never have
I ever given a wank.
1371
01:18:07,000 --> 01:18:10,583
- Liar. Two words,
Rupert Osborne.
1372
01:18:10,708 --> 01:18:13,167
- I was the wankee,
not the wanker.
1373
01:18:13,292 --> 01:18:15,042
No, I wouldn't
wank off a day boy.
1374
01:18:15,208 --> 01:18:17,125
Never have I ever given a wank.
1375
01:18:17,208 --> 01:18:18,542
- Well, it's your turn, Dolly.
1376
01:18:18,708 --> 01:18:20,000
- Go on.
1377
01:18:20,125 --> 01:18:23,583
- Never have I ever
gone on holiday.
1378
01:18:24,958 --> 01:18:27,333
- Why would you
never go on holiday?
1379
01:18:27,500 --> 01:18:29,042
- Because we were poor.
1380
01:18:30,833 --> 01:18:32,500
- Oh.
- Forget that one.
1381
01:18:32,583 --> 01:18:34,792
Forget that one. No,
I have a better one.
1382
01:18:34,958 --> 01:18:36,083
Uh...
1383
01:18:37,167 --> 01:18:39,500
Never have I ever...
1384
01:18:41,167 --> 01:18:42,375
...kissed a girl.
1385
01:18:42,500 --> 01:18:43,958
- Ah. Ah.
1386
01:18:45,958 --> 01:18:48,542
- Do you want to kiss a girl?
- Yes.
1387
01:18:49,833 --> 01:18:50,875
- No way.
- Ooh.
1388
01:18:50,958 --> 01:18:53,000
-Oh no.
1389
01:18:53,167 --> 01:18:55,958
- Oh.
- Hello.
1390
01:18:56,125 --> 01:18:58,625
- Oh! See, I told you.
- Get in. Get in.
1391
01:18:58,708 --> 01:19:00,125
- There he is.
1392
01:19:00,292 --> 01:19:02,750
- Baby, you've
gotta get in here.
1393
01:19:02,833 --> 01:19:04,101
Everything's
happening in here now.
1394
01:19:04,125 --> 01:19:05,125
- Okay.
1395
01:19:07,333 --> 01:19:09,625
I'll improvise.
1396
01:19:09,792 --> 01:19:12,333
I'll be back in a mo. A sex mo.
1397
01:19:16,917 --> 01:19:17,917
- Oh!
- Oh.
1398
01:19:40,708 --> 01:19:43,917
- I still can't see why
we're giving her a staff job.
1399
01:19:44,042 --> 01:19:46,000
Just 'cause Tony likes
a little bit of rough?
1400
01:19:46,083 --> 01:19:47,792
It took me four years
to get on the staff.
1401
01:19:47,958 --> 01:19:50,458
- She's good for circulation.
- Not if she sits on your lap.
1402
01:19:51,833 --> 01:19:53,417
- Would you do her?
- Well...
1403
01:19:53,500 --> 01:19:54,559
I'd have to lay out the
terms and conditions
1404
01:19:54,583 --> 01:19:56,250
but, yes, I would do her
1405
01:19:56,375 --> 01:19:57,833
but I wouldn't let
her suck me off.
1406
01:19:57,958 --> 01:20:01,708
Too chatty. She might bite.
- Uh! I like her.
1407
01:20:02,292 --> 01:20:04,958
- Mental girls from
council estates.
1408
01:20:05,083 --> 01:20:06,417
- Ah!
- That is my thing.
1409
01:20:06,542 --> 01:20:10,250
I take something in
the dirt, I help it grow.
1410
01:20:10,375 --> 01:20:11,833
Pygmalion.
- Yes.
1411
01:20:11,958 --> 01:20:14,125
Just like Pygmalion,
but with a real pig.
1412
01:20:14,250 --> 01:20:15,833
- Oh!
- Oh!
1413
01:20:16,000 --> 01:20:18,542
- Do you know who
Pygmalion's father is?
1414
01:20:18,667 --> 01:20:20,583
- No. Who?
- Mayonnaise.
1415
01:20:20,708 --> 01:20:23,208
- Oh, Mayonnaise!
1416
01:20:23,292 --> 01:20:26,042
- Tony, you gonna
hold the mayo tonight?
1417
01:20:26,208 --> 01:20:28,417
- Well, I might have mayo
on the side, you know.
1418
01:20:28,542 --> 01:20:31,125
I like to offer a
comprehensive education.
1419
01:20:32,292 --> 01:20:33,542
- Educate me?
1420
01:20:36,583 --> 01:20:38,708
Educate me?
1421
01:20:38,958 --> 01:20:41,292
Let's get one thing
straight right now.
1422
01:20:41,833 --> 01:20:44,083
I'm a lady sex pirate
1423
01:20:44,167 --> 01:20:47,417
a swash-fuckler, a lustketeer.
1424
01:20:47,542 --> 01:20:49,875
Where I come from, you
make your own amusement.
1425
01:20:50,000 --> 01:20:52,542
You rinse every last
drop out of every last day
1426
01:20:52,667 --> 01:20:55,125
because there
isn't anything else.
1427
01:20:55,250 --> 01:20:58,833
I've been chased and
humiliated and been utterly alone
1428
01:20:59,000 --> 01:21:01,833
and I still got up,
put on my lipstick
1429
01:21:01,917 --> 01:21:05,542
and wrote every last one of
you motherfuckers off the page.
1430
01:21:05,667 --> 01:21:08,125
- "John Kite isn't a
person but a whole world."
1431
01:21:08,292 --> 01:21:10,292
- At least I meant that.
1432
01:21:10,375 --> 01:21:13,208
None of you mean
anything that you write.
1433
01:21:13,333 --> 01:21:17,000
You're all just little
boys smashing things up.
1434
01:21:17,125 --> 01:21:19,958
I'm 16 and three quarters,
and I'm too old this.
1435
01:21:21,500 --> 01:21:22,500
Tony?
1436
01:21:23,458 --> 01:21:24,583
Tony?
1437
01:21:26,875 --> 01:21:29,542
I am not your bit of rough.
1438
01:21:29,667 --> 01:21:32,417
You were my bit of posh.
1439
01:21:33,167 --> 01:21:37,000
And you are all nothing
on the shoes of my father
1440
01:21:37,125 --> 01:21:40,750
for I am the bastard
son of Brendan Behan
1441
01:21:40,917 --> 01:21:44,500
and one day, you will
all bow down to me!
1442
01:21:44,625 --> 01:21:47,500
♪ ♪
1443
01:22:09,417 --> 01:22:10,667
- Is this home, love?
1444
01:22:12,917 --> 01:22:13,917
- Yeah.
1445
01:22:15,583 --> 01:22:16,708
Thanks.
1446
01:22:43,417 --> 01:22:44,417
Where're you going?
1447
01:22:47,083 --> 01:22:48,417
- Away from you.
1448
01:22:48,583 --> 01:22:49,750
- Krissi.
1449
01:23:36,625 --> 01:23:38,875
- John Kite keeps calling you.
1450
01:23:39,000 --> 01:23:40,292
He left a message for you.
1451
01:23:41,500 --> 01:23:43,917
"His worst song is Alison."
1452
01:23:44,042 --> 01:23:46,125
"The best Beatle is Paul."
1453
01:23:46,250 --> 01:23:50,333
“In a sweet shop he would
spend a pound on pineapple rock.
1454
01:23:50,417 --> 01:23:54,125
"I apologize to Johanna for
not ending the interview there.
1455
01:23:54,250 --> 01:23:57,375
I should not have burdened
her with my friendship."
1456
01:24:02,042 --> 01:24:03,750
Oh, God, mum, what do I do?
1457
01:24:10,375 --> 01:24:11,542
Sorry.
1458
01:24:29,042 --> 01:24:30,208
Hello.
1459
01:24:32,625 --> 01:24:33,625
Hello.
1460
01:24:34,958 --> 01:24:36,083
Anyone?
1461
01:24:39,542 --> 01:24:42,417
♪ ♪
1462
01:24:57,875 --> 01:25:02,833
♪ You blow like
the wind in my sail ♪
1463
01:25:03,042 --> 01:25:06,625
♪ You cut like the
knife in my hand ♪
1464
01:25:09,792 --> 01:25:12,667
♪ And now you're
bringing me up ♪
1465
01:25:12,792 --> 01:25:15,958
♪ Or down ♪
1466
01:25:16,083 --> 01:25:18,708
♪ I cannot ♪
1467
01:25:18,792 --> 01:25:23,542
♪ Decide if I'm
lost or I'm found ♪
1468
01:25:23,708 --> 01:25:28,583
♪ Perhaps it's a sweet mistake ♪
1469
01:25:30,500 --> 01:25:31,708
♪ You've got to give me ♪
1470
01:25:31,833 --> 01:25:36,833
♪ Some kind of clue ♪
1471
01:25:37,000 --> 01:25:39,542
♪ What to do ♪
1472
01:25:39,625 --> 01:25:41,583
♪ I'm out of ideas ♪
1473
01:25:41,708 --> 01:25:44,625
♪ Yet I'm still ♪
1474
01:25:44,833 --> 01:25:49,458
♪ Drinking the hours away ♪
1475
01:25:51,375 --> 01:25:53,958
♪ But the days ♪
1476
01:25:54,083 --> 01:25:59,958
♪ Don't hold much truth ♪
1477
01:26:01,875 --> 01:26:04,458
♪ Without the nights ♪
1478
01:26:04,583 --> 01:26:08,917
♪ I need with you... ♪
1479
01:26:20,625 --> 01:26:21,625
- Johanna.
1480
01:26:23,458 --> 01:26:24,458
Johanna.
1481
01:26:26,833 --> 01:26:27,833
Johanna!
1482
01:26:36,208 --> 01:26:38,583
- I really can't
believe it, Malcolm.
1483
01:26:38,708 --> 01:26:41,333
- Right, here we go.
- Wow!
1484
01:26:41,458 --> 01:26:45,083
- Where's he gone?
- She turned her dog blue.
1485
01:26:45,208 --> 01:26:47,250
- If you're very,
very good, I'll show...
1486
01:26:47,500 --> 01:26:49,208
- We've screwed this up.
1487
01:26:50,500 --> 01:26:52,417
- What are we gonna do, bab?
1488
01:26:55,958 --> 01:26:57,708
Go on in there, love.
1489
01:26:57,875 --> 01:26:59,667
- Please enter
the adjacent ward.
1490
01:26:59,750 --> 01:27:02,167
Please enter the
adjacent ward, please.
1491
01:27:04,833 --> 01:27:06,708
- Have you got it
there? You have ain't ya.
1492
01:27:06,792 --> 01:27:08,667
Is it behind your ear?
- I haven't got it.
1493
01:27:08,792 --> 01:27:09,934
- Alright, let me have
a look. Here we go.
1494
01:27:09,958 --> 01:27:11,208
Have I got another one?
1495
01:27:11,333 --> 01:27:12,653
I think I've got
another one here.
1496
01:27:22,542 --> 01:27:24,667
- Mum, please talk to me.
1497
01:27:30,292 --> 01:27:33,292
- You were my magic, happy girl.
1498
01:27:35,125 --> 01:27:36,500
You used to be.
1499
01:27:40,000 --> 01:27:41,917
Happy girls shouldn't talk to...
1500
01:27:44,917 --> 01:27:48,583
...sad, old, s... scared women.
1501
01:27:54,875 --> 01:27:56,000
You might catch it.
1502
01:28:05,208 --> 01:28:06,542
Budge up, bab.
1503
01:28:25,583 --> 01:28:28,125
Bab, don't hurt yourself.
1504
01:28:28,667 --> 01:28:31,208
Bastard world will do
that for you anyway.
1505
01:28:37,792 --> 01:28:39,167
Don't hurt yourself.
1506
01:28:40,333 --> 01:28:41,333
- Sorry.
1507
01:28:41,375 --> 01:28:44,125
♪ ♪
1508
01:28:49,958 --> 01:28:50,958
- There she is.
1509
01:28:51,125 --> 01:28:53,167
Mum! Johanna!
1510
01:28:53,292 --> 01:28:55,167
- Hiya, bab.
1511
01:28:55,292 --> 01:28:56,417
Aw.
1512
01:28:56,542 --> 01:28:58,167
- How are you, love?
- Yeah, alright.
1513
01:28:58,250 --> 01:28:59,333
- Alright?
- Yeah.
1514
01:28:59,500 --> 01:29:01,250
- There you go.
- Hello.
1515
01:29:01,333 --> 01:29:04,167
- Mm-hmm.
- Hello.
1516
01:29:04,333 --> 01:29:05,375
Hello.
1517
01:29:11,583 --> 01:29:13,750
- He's cool, isn't he?
He's not Anthony.
1518
01:29:13,833 --> 01:29:16,708
Can I call you Tone? No. Tony.
1519
01:29:16,833 --> 01:29:18,708
Right, okay, Tony.
Are you watching?
1520
01:29:20,083 --> 01:29:21,167
- What?
1521
01:29:21,625 --> 01:29:24,167
- You've written what
looks like "U2" on your arm.
1522
01:29:24,292 --> 01:29:26,333
- No, I... I.
1523
01:29:26,458 --> 01:29:27,917
I didn't mean to. The...
1524
01:29:28,083 --> 01:29:29,667
It's a typo.
1525
01:29:29,750 --> 01:29:32,500
They're... they're just meant
to be bold, agonized slashes.
1526
01:29:32,625 --> 01:29:35,417
- It looks like you tried
to kill yourself for Bono.
1527
01:29:38,250 --> 01:29:40,000
- Alright.
1528
01:29:40,083 --> 01:29:42,292
Now let's take the
bastards into a jazz break.
1529
01:29:50,542 --> 01:29:53,333
♪ ♪
1530
01:30:22,792 --> 01:30:25,125
Awake, Wall of Gods.
1531
01:30:25,292 --> 01:30:28,125
Speak, feel, breathe, live.
1532
01:30:28,250 --> 01:30:31,708
- Johanna, we've missed you.
1533
01:30:31,875 --> 01:30:33,208
- It's good to be awake again.
1534
01:30:33,333 --> 01:30:36,375
- What month even is
it? What have we missed?
1535
01:30:36,625 --> 01:30:40,125
- I became evil, but it's
July now and I'm over it.
1536
01:30:40,250 --> 01:30:43,292
- That's wonderful.
- Come on, give me five.
1537
01:30:53,333 --> 01:30:55,583
- I'm applying for
the job of flatmate.
1538
01:30:56,333 --> 01:30:59,333
- Well, I want to
apply for trainee writer
1539
01:30:59,500 --> 01:31:01,750
on whatever it's
called, your mag.
1540
01:31:01,958 --> 01:31:03,875
- Okay, you're hired.
1541
01:31:05,333 --> 01:31:06,768
- My going word rate...
- Oh, get off.
1542
01:31:06,792 --> 01:31:10,542
- Hey, ow! Get off!
Krissi! Krissi! Stop it.
1543
01:31:10,708 --> 01:31:13,625
- You were a nightmare.
Don't do it again.
1544
01:31:13,750 --> 01:31:16,542
And it stinks of smoke,
and mum's gonna Kill you.
1545
01:31:17,792 --> 01:31:19,851
Hello. Is that Rob Allan,
lead singer of The Hallows?
1546
01:31:19,875 --> 01:31:21,792
It's Dolly Wilde here.
1547
01:31:21,958 --> 01:31:23,458
- You've got some
nerve calling me.
1548
01:31:23,542 --> 01:31:24,917
Have you any idea what you did?
1549
01:31:25,042 --> 01:31:28,083
- Yes, yes, yes. I know.
1550
01:31:28,208 --> 01:31:30,208
That's actually why I'm ringing.
1551
01:31:30,375 --> 01:31:33,042
I wanted to apologize
to you for the review.
1552
01:31:33,125 --> 01:31:35,375
That you are, "A shit-wizard
1553
01:31:35,500 --> 01:31:40,000
a weasel in a waistcoat
making musical lime scale."
1554
01:31:40,125 --> 01:31:43,500
Was wrong. I know that now. Bye.
1555
01:31:50,750 --> 01:31:53,667
♪ I'll stand by you ♪
1556
01:31:54,333 --> 01:31:57,250
♪ I'll stand by you ♪
1557
01:31:57,792 --> 01:32:00,875
♪ Won't let nobody
hurt you... ♪ ♪
1558
01:32:03,333 --> 01:32:05,184
Too old for the children's ward
1559
01:32:05,208 --> 01:32:06,750
too young for the adult ward.
1560
01:32:06,833 --> 01:32:09,833
Why 16 is the worst
age to self-harm.
1561
01:32:10,333 --> 01:32:11,958
By Johanna Morrigan.
1562
01:32:26,000 --> 01:32:27,417
- Johanna?
1563
01:32:34,500 --> 01:32:36,583
God, you're young.
1564
01:32:40,458 --> 01:32:41,792
Come on in.
1565
01:32:43,833 --> 01:32:48,042
No, I, I didn't think it was
possible to laugh so much
1566
01:32:48,125 --> 01:32:49,250
given the subject matter
1567
01:32:49,375 --> 01:32:51,125
and cry, obviously,
and laugh again.
1568
01:32:51,292 --> 01:32:52,643
And we were passing
this around the office
1569
01:32:52,667 --> 01:32:54,583
like drugs or a baby.
1570
01:32:54,750 --> 01:32:56,750
This is what you
should be writing.
1571
01:32:56,833 --> 01:32:58,208
Do you know what you'd look like
1572
01:32:58,333 --> 01:33:01,292
tearing apart records
for the music press?
1573
01:33:02,042 --> 01:33:04,583
You look like an Olympic
swimmer in a bathtub.
1574
01:33:04,708 --> 01:33:08,250
But this, this, we would
like to run in the next issue.
1575
01:33:10,083 --> 01:33:13,667
- Why, thank you. Thank
you very much, ma'am.
1576
01:33:16,167 --> 01:33:19,708
- And start you with
a monthly column
1577
01:33:19,792 --> 01:33:21,392
like a monthly letter
from you telling us
1578
01:33:21,542 --> 01:33:23,750
what you've been
up to. Building a Girl.
1579
01:33:23,833 --> 01:33:25,625
Would you like that job?
1580
01:33:26,750 --> 01:33:30,792
- Ma'am, I am more
obligated than I can express.
1581
01:33:31,458 --> 01:33:34,583
- And are you in fact
pretending to be Elvis right now?
1582
01:33:35,500 --> 01:33:39,458
- No. I... I think
this is me now.
1583
01:33:40,417 --> 01:33:41,625
For now.
1584
01:33:43,500 --> 01:33:45,833
- Good. You're hired.
1585
01:33:45,958 --> 01:33:49,417
Get out. I'm busy.
- Okay. Thank you.
1586
01:33:50,625 --> 01:33:53,000
♪ ♪
1587
01:34:27,542 --> 01:34:32,000
In the last week, I've
apologized to 133 bands
1588
01:34:32,125 --> 01:34:34,958
for the bad reviews
I've written about them.
1589
01:34:35,125 --> 01:34:37,208
But there is one person
1590
01:34:37,333 --> 01:34:40,958
to who I owe more
than just, "I'm sorry."
1591
01:34:48,583 --> 01:34:49,875
John!
1592
01:34:52,292 --> 01:34:53,583
John.
1593
01:34:54,417 --> 01:34:56,125
Mr. Kite.
1594
01:35:07,000 --> 01:35:09,125
I promise I won't take
more than one minute.
1595
01:35:09,250 --> 01:35:10,583
I will talk extra, extra fast.
1596
01:35:10,708 --> 01:35:12,125
- I should never
talk to you again.
1597
01:35:12,250 --> 01:35:13,417
- I know.
1598
01:35:14,500 --> 01:35:18,708
I know. I am so sorry. I
have two things for you.
1599
01:35:18,875 --> 01:35:20,583
This is the first.
1600
01:35:22,375 --> 01:35:24,458
My brother's Fanzine.
1601
01:35:27,917 --> 01:35:31,125
That's the original
piece I wrote about you.
1602
01:35:31,250 --> 01:35:33,292
The one they
wouldn't let me print.
1603
01:35:33,375 --> 01:35:35,625
That's how I really feel.
1604
01:35:38,167 --> 01:35:39,792
The other piece...
1605
01:35:41,250 --> 01:35:44,083
...was a terrible,
terrible mistake.
1606
01:35:44,250 --> 01:35:47,917
- Yeah, well, you sold me, babe.
- I know.
1607
01:35:48,417 --> 01:35:52,292
That's why the other
thing I want to give you is...
1608
01:35:52,417 --> 01:35:53,833
...this.
1609
01:36:05,208 --> 01:36:08,500
- A tail?
- It's my hair.
1610
01:36:12,042 --> 01:36:15,333
I tried to think of what
would be the ultimate sacrifice
1611
01:36:15,458 --> 01:36:19,583
the thing I would be
most upset about if I lost it.
1612
01:36:21,333 --> 01:36:23,000
- Your hair?
1613
01:36:23,083 --> 01:36:26,708
- I took something of you.
1614
01:36:26,833 --> 01:36:30,208
Now I'm giving you
something of me.
1615
01:36:37,167 --> 01:36:38,292
- Come on.
1616
01:36:40,125 --> 01:36:42,083
This is all very beautiful
1617
01:36:42,167 --> 01:36:44,708
but it's not really
about me, is it?
1618
01:36:45,000 --> 01:36:46,583
It's about you.
1619
01:36:47,583 --> 01:36:50,667
And how in love with
the world you are.
1620
01:36:50,792 --> 01:36:52,083
Don't stop.
1621
01:36:53,375 --> 01:36:54,875
It's your thing.
1622
01:36:57,292 --> 01:36:59,208
- This is my
embarrassment booth.
1623
01:36:59,375 --> 01:37:01,208
I'm sorry I tried to kiss you.
1624
01:37:03,083 --> 01:37:05,083
- Listen, darling, we
probably will kiss one day.
1625
01:37:05,208 --> 01:37:07,833
That's just statistics, baby.
1626
01:37:08,000 --> 01:37:11,125
How will we not end up
falling terribly, terribly in love?
1627
01:37:13,333 --> 01:37:15,625
It's just the age
thing now, babe.
1628
01:37:16,500 --> 01:37:17,958
Too young.
1629
01:37:18,125 --> 01:37:20,875
- I'm nearly 17.
- Ha-ha!
1630
01:37:21,000 --> 01:37:22,667
Not you, Dutch. Me.
1631
01:37:22,792 --> 01:37:25,458
I'm far too young
for you. Hopeless.
1632
01:37:26,500 --> 01:37:29,167
Love is a big old beast.
1633
01:37:29,292 --> 01:37:31,458
And you're gonna be far
too busy for it right now.
1634
01:37:31,583 --> 01:37:33,000
- I am?
1635
01:37:33,125 --> 01:37:35,792
I'm gonna move to
London when I turn 18.
1636
01:37:35,875 --> 01:37:38,042
Go to gay clubs. Buy a piano.
1637
01:37:38,208 --> 01:37:41,542
- See? You need to go out
there and have some adventures.
1638
01:37:41,667 --> 01:37:44,042
And I would, uh...
1639
01:37:45,708 --> 01:37:47,125
I would like to audition
1640
01:37:47,208 --> 01:37:49,792
for the role of your confidant.
1641
01:37:49,958 --> 01:37:52,458
I would like the honor
of being your friend.
1642
01:37:53,625 --> 01:37:56,500
♪ ♪
1643
01:37:58,250 --> 01:38:00,917
- You should write
a song about me.
1644
01:38:01,042 --> 01:38:02,208
- No.
1645
01:38:03,875 --> 01:38:06,667
You will. I'm
incredibly inspiring.
1646
01:38:06,792 --> 01:38:09,375
- Hm, nothing
rhymes with Johanna.
1647
01:38:09,500 --> 01:38:13,042
- Nothing rhymes with Layla
or Prudence or Sharona.
1648
01:38:13,167 --> 01:38:14,458
- Oh!
1649
01:38:19,458 --> 01:38:20,417
Come on.
1650
01:38:20,458 --> 01:38:22,792
Let's go and fuck
up the next ten years.
1651
01:38:22,833 --> 01:38:25,542
I have school on Monday.
1652
01:38:25,708 --> 01:38:28,667
- Then we'll fuck it
up after 3:30 p.m.
1653
01:38:32,750 --> 01:38:35,333
♪ ♪
1654
01:38:39,917 --> 01:38:43,417
- So... what do you do
when you build yourself
1655
01:38:43,542 --> 01:38:46,125
only to realize you built
yourself with the wrong things?
1656
01:38:48,208 --> 01:38:50,417
You rip it up and start again.
1657
01:38:50,542 --> 01:38:52,292
Build up and tear down.
1658
01:38:52,375 --> 01:38:54,792
Endlessly, repetitively,
unceasingly.
1659
01:38:54,958 --> 01:38:56,542
Invent, invent, invent.
1660
01:38:57,917 --> 01:38:59,667
What will eventually be you?
1661
01:38:59,792 --> 01:39:02,292
One day, you'll marvel
over what you did.
1662
01:39:02,833 --> 01:39:04,250
Marvel how you tried to keep
1663
01:39:04,333 --> 01:39:06,625
the loud, drunken, laughing,
1664
01:39:06,792 --> 01:39:08,375
cutting, panicking,
1665
01:39:08,458 --> 01:39:11,542
unbearably present
secret of yourself
1666
01:39:11,875 --> 01:39:14,458
when, really, you were just
about as secret as the moon.
1667
01:39:16,125 --> 01:39:18,625
And as luminous
under all those clothes.
1668
01:39:18,792 --> 01:39:22,542
And how, like all
the best quests
1669
01:39:22,708 --> 01:39:26,000
you did it all for a girl, you.
1670
01:39:32,792 --> 01:39:34,583
♪ I'm a mess I'm a prude ♪
1671
01:39:34,667 --> 01:39:36,375
♪ When I trip I don't
touch the ground ♪
1672
01:39:36,542 --> 01:39:38,542
♪ I moved away
came back around ♪
1673
01:39:38,625 --> 01:39:40,208
♪ Caught a plane
just to figure out ♪
1674
01:39:40,375 --> 01:39:42,167
♪ Oh yeah ♪
1675
01:39:42,250 --> 01:39:43,417
♪ Oh yeah ♪
1676
01:39:43,583 --> 01:39:45,625
♪ How to rule the world ♪
1677
01:39:45,750 --> 01:39:48,333
♪ How to build a girl ♪
1678
01:39:48,458 --> 01:39:50,417
♪ Got a bucket
list I got my plan ♪
1679
01:39:50,500 --> 01:39:52,417
♪ ...'cause I'm a man ♪
1680
01:39:52,583 --> 01:39:54,667
♪ I'm moving up but I get down ♪
1681
01:39:54,750 --> 01:39:56,375
♪ Every time I think about ♪
1682
01:39:56,542 --> 01:39:58,250
♪ Oh yeah ♪
1683
01:39:58,333 --> 01:39:59,750
♪ Oh yeah ♪
1684
01:39:59,875 --> 01:40:01,542
♪ How to rule the world ♪
1685
01:40:01,708 --> 01:40:03,833
♪ How to build a girl ♪
1686
01:40:03,958 --> 01:40:07,000
♪ It's time I try to
be young and alive ♪
1687
01:40:07,125 --> 01:40:08,875
♪ Make my mark somehow ♪
1688
01:40:09,042 --> 01:40:12,083
♪ Make a mark make a mark
take them out somehow ♪
1689
01:40:12,167 --> 01:40:15,583
♪ Get my keys take
a drag have a drive ♪
1690
01:40:15,708 --> 01:40:18,458
♪ Watch me now ♪
1691
01:40:18,583 --> 01:40:21,208
♪ Watch me now watch me now ♪
1692
01:40:21,292 --> 01:40:25,583
♪ I'm out on my
own lighting fires ♪
1693
01:40:25,750 --> 01:40:29,375
♪ Getting my kicks and desires ♪
1694
01:40:31,292 --> 01:40:36,375
♪ I wanna rule the world
I wanna build a girl ♪
1695
01:40:36,458 --> 01:40:38,292
♪ However bad
it ain't that bad ♪
1696
01:40:38,458 --> 01:40:40,417
♪ I've got shoes in the
roof above my head ♪
1697
01:40:40,500 --> 01:40:42,500
♪ And all my friends
we're all the same ♪
1698
01:40:42,708 --> 01:40:44,375
♪ Head screwed up
but in the right place ♪
1699
01:40:44,458 --> 01:40:47,667
♪ Oh yeah oh yeah ♪
1700
01:40:47,792 --> 01:40:49,792
♪ We're trying
to rule the world ♪
1701
01:40:49,917 --> 01:40:51,750
♪ Trying to build a girl ♪
1702
01:40:51,875 --> 01:40:54,833
♪ It's time I try to
be young and alive ♪
1703
01:40:54,958 --> 01:40:56,708
♪ Make my mark somehow ♪
1704
01:40:56,833 --> 01:40:59,875
♪ Make a mark make a mark
take them out somehow ♪
1705
01:41:00,000 --> 01:41:03,458
♪ Get my keys take
a drag have a drive ♪
1706
01:41:03,542 --> 01:41:05,750
♪ Watch me now ♪
1707
01:41:05,917 --> 01:41:07,583
♪ Watch me now watch me now ♪
1708
01:41:07,667 --> 01:41:09,292
♪ Watch me now ♪
1709
01:41:09,458 --> 01:41:13,417
♪ I'm out on my
own lighting fires ♪
1710
01:41:13,542 --> 01:41:17,208
♪ Getting my kicks and desires ♪
1711
01:41:19,375 --> 01:41:23,667
♪ I wanna rule the world
'cause I just built a girl ♪ ♪
1712
01:41:24,833 --> 01:41:27,250
♪ ♪
1713
01:41:27,333 --> 01:41:31,000
♪ Oh oh-oh oh oh-oh-oh ♪
1714
01:41:31,125 --> 01:41:34,250
♪ Oh oh-oh oh oh-oh-oh ♪
1715
01:41:34,375 --> 01:41:35,625
♪ Hyah ♪
1716
01:42:00,375 --> 01:42:01,583
♪ Hyah ♪
1717
01:42:09,250 --> 01:42:11,625
♪ ♪
1718
01:42:16,917 --> 01:42:20,417
♪ Oh oh-oh oh oh-oh-oh ♪
1719
01:42:20,542 --> 01:42:24,208
♪ Oh oh-oh oh oh-oh-oh ♪
1720
01:42:34,667 --> 01:42:38,000
♪ Oh oh-oh oh oh-oh-oh ♪
1721
01:42:42,500 --> 01:42:46,000
♪ Oh oh-oh oh oh-oh-oh ♪
1722
01:42:54,792 --> 01:42:57,167
♪ ♪
1723
01:43:42,042 --> 01:43:45,875
♪ Oh oh-oh oh oh-oh-oh ♪
1724
01:43:46,000 --> 01:43:47,208
♪ Oh oh-oh ♪
125981
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