subtitlecat.com

All language subtitles for Copie2

Afrikaans

Albanian

Amharic

Arabic

Armenian

Azerbaijani

Basque

Belarusian

Bengali

Bosnian

Bulgarian

Catalan

Cebuano

Chichewa

Chinese (Simplified)

Chinese (Traditional)

Corsican

Croatian

Czech

Danish

Dutch

English

Esperanto

Estonian

Filipino

Finnish

French Download

Frisian

Galician

Georgian

German

Greek

Gujarati

Haitian Creole

Hausa

Hawaiian

Hebrew

Hindi

Hmong

Hungarian

Icelandic

Igbo

Indonesian

Irish

Italian

Japanese

Javanese

Kannada

Kazakh

Khmer

Korean

Kurdish (Kurmanji)

Kyrgyz

Lao

Latin

Latvian

Lithuanian

Luxembourgish

Macedonian

Malagasy

Malay

Malayalam

Maltese

Maori

Marathi

Mongolian

Myanmar (Burmese)

Nepali

Norwegian

Pashto

Persian

Polish

Portuguese

Punjabi

Romanian

Russian

Samoan

Scots Gaelic

Serbian

Sesotho

Shona

Sindhi

Sinhala

Slovak

Slovenian

Somali

Spanish

Sundanese

Swahili

Swedish

Tajik

Tamil

Telugu

Thai

Turkish

Ukrainian

Urdu

Uzbek

Vietnamese

Welsh

Xhosa

Yiddish

Yoruba

Zulu

Odia (Oriya)

Kinyarwanda

Turkmen

Tatar

Uyghur

Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:14,654 --> 00:00:19,654 Subtitles by explosiveskull www.OpenSubtitles.org 2 00:00:19,704 --> 00:00:24,408 [upbeat music playing] 3 00:00:26,443 --> 00:00:30,447 So, he flirts with you all the time during these late-night rehearsals? 4 00:00:31,015 --> 00:00:31,749 No. 5 00:00:33,417 --> 00:00:36,253 You said he just loves to flirt, that he's a dog. 6 00:00:36,286 --> 00:00:37,387 How is that my fault? 7 00:00:38,255 --> 00:00:39,456 Oh, so he does. 8 00:00:39,489 --> 00:00:40,992 No, he doesn't. 9 00:00:41,025 --> 00:00:47,330 Ah, so he flirts with every single pretty girl in the world except for you. 10 00:00:47,364 --> 00:00:48,298 [thuds] 11 00:00:48,331 --> 00:00:49,199 [clears throat] 12 00:00:50,567 --> 00:00:52,602 Have I ever given you any reason to believe I would be unfaithful? 13 00:00:53,470 --> 00:00:54,706 No. 14 00:00:54,739 --> 00:00:56,774 Then don't you think I deserve just a little bit of trust here? 15 00:00:57,474 --> 00:00:59,643 I wish you were never in that stupid show. 16 00:01:00,778 --> 00:01:02,714 Oh, now you're attacking the play. 17 00:01:02,747 --> 00:01:04,682 I'm not attacking anything. 18 00:01:05,482 --> 00:01:07,551 Jack, stop. 19 00:01:08,518 --> 00:01:10,487 We have been together for three years 20 00:01:10,520 --> 00:01:14,659 and I hope to be together forever and ever and ever and... 21 00:01:14,692 --> 00:01:16,794 - You do? - Yes, I do. 22 00:01:17,527 --> 00:01:18,595 I do, too. 23 00:01:18,628 --> 00:01:19,764 Okay. 24 00:01:19,797 --> 00:01:22,466 - [laughs] - Then, can we stop? 25 00:01:22,767 --> 00:01:24,367 Because I don't want to argue. 26 00:01:25,937 --> 00:01:29,539 I don't want to argue either, honey, as long as you can admit that I'm right. 27 00:01:30,074 --> 00:01:33,276 [ominous music playing] 28 00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:53,590 [Jack] Dear Brett, as you probably know, tonight's performance of Wolfgang, 29 00:02:53,623 --> 00:02:59,797 in which my amazingly talented girlfriend Lisa performs the role of Mozart's wife Constanze, 30 00:02:59,831 --> 00:03:02,365 will be the final time the curtain rises on this great play. 31 00:03:03,167 --> 00:03:04,601 Let us celebrate this occasion. 32 00:03:05,770 --> 00:03:08,405 Why don't you and Sarah join me at the theater at 8:00 33 00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:11,408 and then come over to our place for drinks after? 34 00:03:11,441 --> 00:03:15,512 Not only can we toast Lisa in her biggest professional acting role to date, 35 00:03:15,545 --> 00:03:18,749 but also, and I confess this to you only, 36 00:03:18,783 --> 00:03:22,787 you will be witness to quite a momentous surprise as well. 37 00:03:22,820 --> 00:03:25,156 Looking forward to seeing you guys. 38 00:03:25,189 --> 00:03:27,658 Your friend, Jack. 39 00:03:27,692 --> 00:03:29,492 [sighs] Lisa. 40 00:03:29,526 --> 00:03:30,728 Lisa, Lisa, Lisa. 41 00:03:30,761 --> 00:03:32,629 I want to thank you all for... 42 00:03:32,663 --> 00:03:35,599 Thanks, guys, for coming out tonight, Sarah, Brett. 43 00:03:35,632 --> 00:03:36,667 Ah. 44 00:03:37,567 --> 00:03:38,535 Lisa. 45 00:03:38,836 --> 00:03:43,674 Okay. Lisa... [sighs] 46 00:03:43,708 --> 00:03:45,408 for the past three years that I've known you, 47 00:03:46,643 --> 00:03:49,847 you're always positive, looking toward the future. 48 00:03:51,514 --> 00:03:52,515 So, Lisa, honey. 49 00:03:52,549 --> 00:03:54,151 [chuckles] 50 00:03:54,185 --> 00:03:55,186 [doorbell rings] 51 00:03:55,219 --> 00:03:57,621 - [Sarah] Okay, that's okay. - Wasn't it great? 52 00:03:59,690 --> 00:04:00,825 So great, amazing. 53 00:04:00,858 --> 00:04:01,759 I'm so glad you guys came. 54 00:04:01,792 --> 00:04:03,661 Okay, we're hugging. Okay. 55 00:04:04,594 --> 00:04:07,430 Yeah, we wanted to come earlier in the run. You just get so busy. 56 00:04:07,464 --> 00:04:09,667 But aren't you glad you came though? Wasn't Lisa amazing? 57 00:04:09,700 --> 00:04:11,501 - Lisa was so great. - Right? 58 00:04:11,534 --> 00:04:12,837 Amazing. Right, Sarah? 59 00:04:14,005 --> 00:04:14,906 So great. 60 00:04:14,939 --> 00:04:16,573 - Hmm. - [keys jangling] 61 00:04:18,508 --> 00:04:19,877 - [sighs] - Mm? 62 00:04:22,246 --> 00:04:22,980 Coats? 63 00:04:23,948 --> 00:04:24,849 No. 64 00:04:25,950 --> 00:04:27,685 - Okay. - Ah, new sofa. 65 00:04:27,718 --> 00:04:30,821 You know, uh, that's Lisa's. [laughs] 66 00:04:30,855 --> 00:04:34,557 I'm gonna get rid of all this old stuff once we get that next new payday. 67 00:04:34,591 --> 00:04:35,726 It should be any day now, right, Brett? 68 00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:36,661 [laughter] 69 00:04:36,694 --> 00:04:37,662 Okay. 70 00:04:37,695 --> 00:04:38,763 [inhales] 71 00:04:38,796 --> 00:04:39,697 [thumps] 72 00:04:39,730 --> 00:04:41,198 [finger clicks] Drinks. 73 00:04:41,232 --> 00:04:43,200 - Hmm. - Jack. 74 00:04:43,234 --> 00:04:45,535 Go ahead and pop her open, it's a special occasion. 75 00:04:45,568 --> 00:04:46,469 [Brett] Mm-Hm. 76 00:04:46,503 --> 00:04:47,805 [bottle creaks, pops open] 77 00:04:48,571 --> 00:04:49,907 - Woo! - Mm-hm. 78 00:04:49,941 --> 00:04:51,641 - Sarah, you want some? - Mm. 79 00:04:51,676 --> 00:04:54,011 I would kill someone for a gin and tonic. 80 00:04:54,045 --> 00:04:59,684 I do not have any gin right now, but I do have white wine, I did not have a chance to chill it. 81 00:05:00,685 --> 00:05:02,585 - Terrific. - Mm. 82 00:05:02,619 --> 00:05:04,956 And boom. 83 00:05:04,989 --> 00:05:06,958 That play is long, isn't it? 84 00:05:06,991 --> 00:05:08,192 Honey. 85 00:05:08,225 --> 00:05:11,561 Yeah, no, she's right, it's definitely on the longish side. 86 00:05:11,594 --> 00:05:13,664 It's just that, it's past my bedtime 87 00:05:13,698 --> 00:05:15,866 and I have some contract negotiations in the morning. 88 00:05:15,900 --> 00:05:18,568 So, we should probably just head out. 89 00:05:18,601 --> 00:05:20,705 - Well, it means a lot to Lisa that you made it out - Where's your bathroom? 90 00:05:21,638 --> 00:05:23,040 It's right around the corner there. 91 00:05:28,713 --> 00:05:30,948 - Ugh. - [both laugh] 92 00:05:30,982 --> 00:05:31,949 Where is Lisa? 93 00:05:31,983 --> 00:05:33,784 Oh, uh, she's getting changed. 94 00:05:33,818 --> 00:05:37,822 - Oh, she wants to make a grand entrance. - Yes, she is an actress. 95 00:05:37,855 --> 00:05:38,756 [laughs] 96 00:05:39,290 --> 00:05:41,025 Oh... 97 00:05:42,026 --> 00:05:43,493 - Anyway, cheers. - Cheers. 98 00:05:44,061 --> 00:05:45,963 [sighs] 99 00:05:47,630 --> 00:05:49,700 - Ooh! - [inaudible]. 100 00:05:49,734 --> 00:05:51,035 Mm-Hm. 101 00:05:51,068 --> 00:05:54,905 [both moaning] 102 00:05:56,007 --> 00:05:59,310 - Brett, I don't want to put you on the spot again... - Yeah. 103 00:05:59,343 --> 00:06:02,747 Um, but you know, this was Lisa's, like, first real acting gig. 104 00:06:02,780 --> 00:06:03,914 [chuckles] Right. 105 00:06:03,948 --> 00:06:06,317 Yeah, it's not like some student film. 106 00:06:06,350 --> 00:06:07,617 - Right. - It's not an infomercial. 107 00:06:07,651 --> 00:06:11,554 - Right. - Yeah, it's like a real acting work, which she loves. 108 00:06:11,588 --> 00:06:13,290 Well, I mean, you were right, she was great. 109 00:06:13,324 --> 00:06:14,892 Yeah, but she was telling me on the way home, she's like, 110 00:06:14,925 --> 00:06:17,895 "Man, I am never gonna get another decent part again." 111 00:06:17,928 --> 00:06:19,030 - No. - Yeah. 112 00:06:19,063 --> 00:06:20,865 She's like, "I'm gonna be bikini girl at the pool." 113 00:06:20,898 --> 00:06:22,099 [chuckles] No. 114 00:06:22,133 --> 00:06:24,769 Yeah. "I'm gonna be a friend killed by machete at the lake." 115 00:06:24,802 --> 00:06:25,770 [laughs] No. 116 00:06:25,803 --> 00:06:26,771 She'll keep it going. 117 00:06:27,738 --> 00:06:29,572 - So great. - Yeah. 118 00:06:29,606 --> 00:06:31,675 - Yeah. - But she still doesn't have an agent. 119 00:06:32,043 --> 00:06:34,945 Jack, I'm strictly literary. You know that, I don't handle actors. 120 00:06:34,979 --> 00:06:35,946 I handle writers. 121 00:06:35,980 --> 00:06:37,882 Uh, I handle great writers. 122 00:06:37,915 --> 00:06:39,784 [laughs] Thank you. 123 00:06:39,817 --> 00:06:42,720 You know, I'm not comfortable with the term genius. 124 00:06:42,753 --> 00:06:43,754 [both laugh] 125 00:06:45,222 --> 00:06:49,660 Anyway, so maybe you could, uh, I don't know, at some point tonight, 126 00:06:49,693 --> 00:06:52,730 sit down with Lisa, talk to her, maybe set up some meetings down the line. 127 00:06:53,964 --> 00:06:55,800 - Yeah, absolutely. - Yeah. 128 00:06:55,833 --> 00:06:58,702 Of course, this is a really tough time in the industry right now. 129 00:06:59,904 --> 00:07:01,072 [beeps] 130 00:07:01,105 --> 00:07:02,840 - I'm just gonna... - Yeah. 131 00:07:03,974 --> 00:07:07,111 - [beeping] - [chuckles] 132 00:07:09,980 --> 00:07:11,849 Ah. [chuckles] 133 00:07:13,751 --> 00:07:15,920 - [beeps] - [doorbell rings] 134 00:07:21,425 --> 00:07:24,862 - Am I at the right place? - Paul? 135 00:07:24,895 --> 00:07:26,764 - [Brett] Hey, it's Brett. - Hey. 136 00:07:26,797 --> 00:07:27,765 Of course, man. 137 00:07:28,699 --> 00:07:30,167 We met at the thing, remember? 138 00:07:30,201 --> 00:07:31,669 [gasps] At the play. 139 00:07:32,136 --> 00:07:34,071 No, at the premiere for Jack's movie. 140 00:07:35,739 --> 00:07:36,974 - Right. - [Brett] Yeah, it doesn't matter. 141 00:07:37,007 --> 00:07:38,109 This is Sarah. 142 00:07:38,142 --> 00:07:39,977 Sarah, so good to see you again. 143 00:07:40,010 --> 00:07:40,945 We don't know each other. 144 00:07:42,146 --> 00:07:43,114 Hi, I'm Trina. 145 00:07:43,147 --> 00:07:44,715 Oh, yeah, my bad. 146 00:07:44,748 --> 00:07:45,883 Yeah, this is my girlfriend Trina. 147 00:07:45,916 --> 00:07:47,218 Trina this is... 148 00:07:48,052 --> 00:07:49,053 - Brett. - [Paul] Brett. 149 00:07:49,086 --> 00:07:49,887 [Trina] Hi, I'm Trina. 150 00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:52,723 - [Paul] And, uh, this is... - Sarah. 151 00:07:52,756 --> 00:07:53,924 - This is Sarah. - Hi, I'm Trina. 152 00:07:53,958 --> 00:07:55,025 - [Trina] Hi. - Hello. 153 00:07:55,759 --> 00:07:56,694 [chuckles] 154 00:08:00,998 --> 00:08:03,000 - You have a lovely home. - I do not live here. 155 00:08:03,033 --> 00:08:04,702 Oh! 156 00:08:04,735 --> 00:08:07,738 Mm. I need another one. Anybody else? 157 00:08:07,771 --> 00:08:09,940 Sorry, guys, I didn't realize I had to... 158 00:08:10,908 --> 00:08:11,809 Paul. 159 00:08:12,443 --> 00:08:14,145 - Jack. - Hi, I'm Trina. 160 00:08:15,446 --> 00:08:17,414 Oh, God! 161 00:08:17,448 --> 00:08:18,249 [laughs] 162 00:08:19,049 --> 00:08:22,419 I'm Jack. And can I get you a drink? 163 00:08:22,453 --> 00:08:25,823 - I... I'm not a huge... - She's gotta try the bourbon. You gotta try it. 164 00:08:25,856 --> 00:08:26,757 [thuds] 165 00:08:27,191 --> 00:08:28,425 [humming] 166 00:08:28,459 --> 00:08:29,693 [Brett] Here you go. 167 00:08:29,727 --> 00:08:30,661 [sighs] 168 00:08:33,030 --> 00:08:34,031 Whoa! 169 00:08:34,732 --> 00:08:35,432 Hey. 170 00:08:35,466 --> 00:08:37,034 - [laugh] - Hey. 171 00:08:37,067 --> 00:08:38,936 Hello, everyone. 172 00:08:38,969 --> 00:08:41,038 Hey! 173 00:08:41,071 --> 00:08:43,174 Oh. Thank you all so much for coming. 174 00:08:43,207 --> 00:08:46,043 [chuckles] Brett, Sarah, hi. 175 00:08:46,076 --> 00:08:48,112 - Paul. - [Paul] Lis. 176 00:08:48,145 --> 00:08:49,213 [Lisa] My Mozart. 177 00:08:49,246 --> 00:08:51,081 Oh, my Mozart. 178 00:08:51,815 --> 00:08:53,817 [groans] [Paul] God! 179 00:08:54,752 --> 00:08:58,222 - [Lisa giggles] - [Paul grans] 180 00:08:58,255 --> 00:09:01,192 Right, I almost forgot. Uh, this is my friend Trina. 181 00:09:01,225 --> 00:09:03,027 Oh, hi. 182 00:09:03,060 --> 00:09:06,830 - It is so nice to meet you. - [laughs] 183 00:09:08,098 --> 00:09:08,999 [gasps] 184 00:09:10,534 --> 00:09:12,870 - Lisa, darling, can I see you in my office, please? - Yeah. 185 00:09:12,903 --> 00:09:14,471 - [both chuckling] - Okay. 186 00:09:14,505 --> 00:09:15,406 [sighs] 187 00:09:15,439 --> 00:09:17,174 [Jack] You didn't mention Paul was coming. 188 00:09:17,975 --> 00:09:19,944 - Sure, I did. - No, you didn't. 189 00:09:20,511 --> 00:09:24,949 Jack, I definitely mentioned I invited Paul. 190 00:09:24,982 --> 00:09:28,018 Lisa, I definitely would have remembered if you had. 191 00:09:28,052 --> 00:09:29,186 Okay. 192 00:09:29,220 --> 00:09:30,988 Why is this a big deal? 193 00:09:31,021 --> 00:09:31,956 It's not. 194 00:09:31,989 --> 00:09:35,092 Well, it... It certainly seems like it is. 195 00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:37,361 Well, it's not. 196 00:09:37,394 --> 00:09:42,199 And you hadn't mentioned it, and now our guests and Paul are waiting. 197 00:09:44,268 --> 00:09:46,537 [sighs] 198 00:09:46,570 --> 00:09:48,939 [Paul] It's only about 12 to 14 miles per gallon 199 00:09:48,973 --> 00:09:51,141 and I'm like, "I don't care. I'll take it." 200 00:09:52,576 --> 00:09:56,113 You're Paul's wife, in the play thingy. 201 00:09:56,146 --> 00:10:00,217 - I didn't recognize you without all the big poofy hair. - Oh! 202 00:10:00,251 --> 00:10:01,185 [Trina] You were so good. 203 00:10:01,218 --> 00:10:02,953 Thank you, thank you. 204 00:10:02,987 --> 00:10:07,992 I love that part where you and Paul are sort of fooling around in the palace or whatever, 205 00:10:08,025 --> 00:10:09,293 and you're acting like you're a little lamb. 206 00:10:09,326 --> 00:10:12,196 Oh, yeah. [laughs] 207 00:10:12,229 --> 00:10:13,530 - Baa. - That's right. 208 00:10:13,564 --> 00:10:15,032 Awoo! 209 00:10:15,065 --> 00:10:16,133 I don't know. 210 00:10:18,068 --> 00:10:19,536 Baa. 211 00:10:19,570 --> 00:10:21,772 [Lisa] Baa. 212 00:10:24,041 --> 00:10:26,076 Awoo! 213 00:10:26,110 --> 00:10:27,144 [Lisa] Baa. 214 00:10:27,177 --> 00:10:30,981 [inaudible] appear, a little lamby-bamby, pamby. 215 00:10:31,015 --> 00:10:32,049 No! 216 00:10:32,082 --> 00:10:33,350 I'm going to rush-crush. 217 00:10:33,384 --> 00:10:35,219 I'm going to gnaw-saw. 218 00:10:35,252 --> 00:10:39,256 I'm going to rip you into pieces with my fang-bangs. Ah-ha! 219 00:10:39,290 --> 00:10:41,325 [Paul] Fang-bangs. Fang-bangs. Fang-bangs. 220 00:10:42,026 --> 00:10:46,563 Awoo! I descend like moonlight unto thy pale bosom. 221 00:10:46,597 --> 00:10:50,901 That this could be the great Mozart made the sting all the worse. 222 00:10:50,934 --> 00:10:53,904 Wow, that's Salieri's line, how do you know that? 223 00:10:53,937 --> 00:10:58,876 - B-b-b-b-b-b... - Because, unfortunately, I have a photographic memory. 224 00:10:58,909 --> 00:10:59,810 That's right. 225 00:11:00,611 --> 00:11:02,046 Imagine having an argument with her. 226 00:11:02,079 --> 00:11:03,047 [chuckles] 227 00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:05,282 I felt bad for that Salieri guy. 228 00:11:06,116 --> 00:11:09,119 - He tries so hard, you know, he just doesn't have it. - Yeah. 229 00:11:09,153 --> 00:11:12,389 Mozart acts like that and just craps out perfection. 230 00:11:12,423 --> 00:11:16,060 Well, how could Salieri not be jealous of Mozart? 231 00:11:16,093 --> 00:11:19,997 [thumps] Oh, my little lamb, my Constanze-banze, you're shaking. 232 00:11:20,030 --> 00:11:23,033 You're scared. You're terrified of young Wolfie, huh? 233 00:11:23,067 --> 00:11:25,202 You're going to stain your little white wool brown. 234 00:11:25,235 --> 00:11:26,270 [beeps] 235 00:11:26,303 --> 00:11:28,005 I'm just gonna... [beeps] 236 00:11:31,108 --> 00:11:32,910 Ha. Fuck! 237 00:11:34,378 --> 00:11:35,346 [panting] 238 00:11:35,379 --> 00:11:36,080 [beeps] 239 00:11:39,383 --> 00:11:41,218 - How's that drink? - It's amazing. 240 00:11:41,251 --> 00:11:42,986 - So good, right? - So good. 241 00:11:43,987 --> 00:11:46,357 - [Jack] Here comes the charcuterie train. - How are you? 242 00:11:46,390 --> 00:11:51,228 Charcuterie, charcuterie, charcuterie, charcuterie. 243 00:11:51,261 --> 00:11:53,230 [groans] 244 00:11:53,263 --> 00:11:54,365 Anybody hungry? 245 00:11:54,398 --> 00:11:55,332 Who eats this late? 246 00:11:55,366 --> 00:11:56,266 Thank you. 247 00:11:57,301 --> 00:11:58,902 - What did you make? - Just a little something. 248 00:11:58,936 --> 00:11:59,838 Oh, my God. 249 00:11:59,870 --> 00:12:02,106 - Looks good, Jack. - [Jack] No one? Paul? 250 00:12:02,940 --> 00:12:04,108 Yeah, I can't eat that. 251 00:12:04,141 --> 00:12:06,643 - [Jack] Why the hell not? - It looks great, it really does. 252 00:12:06,678 --> 00:12:10,647 I just... I gotta watch my fat intake right now. 253 00:12:10,682 --> 00:12:12,282 I'm shooting this Reebok CrossFit commercial in a month. 254 00:12:12,316 --> 00:12:13,250 [gasps] You booked that? 255 00:12:13,283 --> 00:12:15,119 [Paul] I did, yeah, it's gonna be national. 256 00:12:15,152 --> 00:12:16,053 - [Lisa] Paul, that's amazing. - [Paul] Thank you. 257 00:12:16,086 --> 00:12:18,656 So, gotta keep track of my abs, you know. 258 00:12:18,690 --> 00:12:21,024 Oh, come on, like you need to worry about that. 259 00:12:21,058 --> 00:12:24,061 Well, I'm like practically vegan at this point, so that whole plate is an issue. 260 00:12:24,094 --> 00:12:25,129 [Lisa] Mm-hm. 261 00:12:25,162 --> 00:12:26,463 CrossFit and vegan. 262 00:12:26,497 --> 00:12:29,433 Do you rescue puppies from animal shelters on your off hours? 263 00:12:29,466 --> 00:12:31,368 - [laughter] - Jack! 264 00:12:31,402 --> 00:12:32,936 Yes. Oh, I'm joking. 265 00:12:32,970 --> 00:12:34,171 [Paul] No. Actually, I do. 266 00:12:34,471 --> 00:12:37,040 Right now, I'm fostering little pit-bull bitches. 267 00:12:37,074 --> 00:12:38,976 [all] Oh! 268 00:12:39,009 --> 00:12:40,344 - Sweet. - It's cool. 269 00:12:40,377 --> 00:12:44,415 You know, I actually think it was quite an interesting choice 270 00:12:44,448 --> 00:12:47,284 to make Mozart an African-American. 271 00:12:47,317 --> 00:12:48,686 - Jack? - Whoa! - My God! 272 00:12:48,720 --> 00:12:49,520 Are you serious? 273 00:12:51,155 --> 00:12:52,055 No. 274 00:12:52,523 --> 00:12:53,424 What? 275 00:12:53,457 --> 00:12:56,026 Come... What? No. 276 00:12:56,427 --> 00:12:58,462 No. I'm just considering. 277 00:12:58,495 --> 00:13:04,201 No, I was just considering the fact that Mozart, the original Mozart, 278 00:13:04,234 --> 00:13:07,471 was indeed, as you know, not black. 279 00:13:08,172 --> 00:13:09,273 Oh, fuck? 280 00:13:09,306 --> 00:13:12,342 Wow. I didn't know race was such an issue for you, Jack. 281 00:13:12,376 --> 00:13:15,345 It isn't. It's not an issue, I love black Mozart. 282 00:13:15,379 --> 00:13:17,347 It's the greatest fucking idea I've ever heard in my life. 283 00:13:18,482 --> 00:13:22,286 Well, it is an amazing point, right? 284 00:13:22,319 --> 00:13:23,987 And we can... We can say that. 285 00:13:24,021 --> 00:13:26,290 I mean, all of Shipley's plays actually, right. 286 00:13:26,323 --> 00:13:31,462 I mean, Wolfgang, The Equestrian, so many of them. 287 00:13:31,495 --> 00:13:34,031 It's just... I mean... And Broadway and Hollywood, 288 00:13:34,064 --> 00:13:36,366 being able to go back and forth like that just hit after hit. 289 00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:37,201 God, if I could have been his agent. 290 00:13:37,234 --> 00:13:39,102 You might have made a commission. 291 00:13:39,804 --> 00:13:41,505 - Okay, that came out wrong. - It's fine. 292 00:13:44,107 --> 00:13:46,543 Jack, you're a great writer, okay. 293 00:13:47,244 --> 00:13:52,115 Nope, you're a genius and I know you're not comfortable with that term. 294 00:13:52,149 --> 00:13:55,118 [laughs] 295 00:13:55,152 --> 00:13:58,355 You know, I'd be comfortable just with a single payday at this point, man. 296 00:13:58,388 --> 00:14:00,290 I mean, when are we gonna sell something? 297 00:14:00,324 --> 00:14:01,492 I got how many scripts out there? 298 00:14:01,525 --> 00:14:04,161 Oh, hey, we will, we will. You just got to believe that. 299 00:14:04,194 --> 00:14:05,229 I do. 300 00:14:05,262 --> 00:14:08,098 And everybody else in this room believes that too. 301 00:14:09,233 --> 00:14:11,068 What the fuck are we talking about, Brett? 302 00:14:11,101 --> 00:14:12,503 Wait, so you're a writer? 303 00:14:12,536 --> 00:14:13,437 He's a great writer. 304 00:14:13,470 --> 00:14:14,772 Oh, my God! 305 00:14:14,806 --> 00:14:16,340 What do you write, just plays? 306 00:14:16,373 --> 00:14:18,141 No, he... He actually, he writes movies. 307 00:14:18,175 --> 00:14:20,511 No, no, no, he writes great movies. 308 00:14:20,544 --> 00:14:23,180 I have one produced credit to my name. 309 00:14:23,213 --> 00:14:24,448 Alright, so far. 310 00:14:25,115 --> 00:14:26,216 What was the movie? 311 00:14:26,250 --> 00:14:27,451 [tongue clicks] Oh, God! 312 00:14:29,286 --> 00:14:32,289 - The Dead Doth Trot the Hills at Night. - Oh, my God! 313 00:14:33,156 --> 00:14:36,293 - What? - You wrote "The Dead Doth Trot the Hills at Night?" 314 00:14:37,427 --> 00:14:39,496 Yes. I mean, yeah. 315 00:14:39,530 --> 00:14:42,432 I didn't... The film didn't turn out exactly how I wanted it to turn. 316 00:14:42,466 --> 00:14:43,534 I loved that movie. 317 00:14:44,702 --> 00:14:48,272 - Really? - See, Jack? You're writing affects people. 318 00:14:49,273 --> 00:14:52,175 [Trina] I... I love how the movie... It was... 319 00:14:52,209 --> 00:14:54,444 Well, it was sort of like a regular type of zombie movie 320 00:14:54,478 --> 00:14:58,115 but there was something like totally different about it, too. 321 00:14:58,148 --> 00:15:00,150 Yeah, yeah, I did. 322 00:15:00,183 --> 00:15:03,620 I tried to subvert a lot of the common genre tropes, you know, 323 00:15:03,655 --> 00:15:06,858 like, uh, the whole hive mind convention, 324 00:15:06,891 --> 00:15:14,131 like why can't zombies think and feel for themselves, you know, as individuals, right? 325 00:15:14,164 --> 00:15:16,366 Totally. I have never laughed so much in a movie. 326 00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:18,135 - [laughs] - What? 327 00:15:18,168 --> 00:15:19,837 Why didn't you tell me you know the person who wrote 328 00:15:19,871 --> 00:15:21,839 "The Dead Doth Trot the Hills at Night?" 329 00:15:21,873 --> 00:15:24,441 - Uh... Didn't I? - No. 330 00:15:24,474 --> 00:15:27,110 As a matter of fact, we're all kind of connected to Doth Trot. 331 00:15:27,144 --> 00:15:29,346 [Jack] I signed Jack because of that script. 332 00:15:29,379 --> 00:15:32,850 And Lisa had a small role in the film, in an important sequence, a great sequence, 333 00:15:32,884 --> 00:15:35,552 so tense and scary, so visceral, 334 00:15:35,586 --> 00:15:37,621 and still just a touch melancholy if you think about it, 335 00:15:37,655 --> 00:15:39,222 which is how they met. 336 00:15:39,256 --> 00:15:42,459 [Brett] And then Sarah here did the contracts at the studio for foreign sales. 337 00:15:42,492 --> 00:15:46,263 There you go. The movie did fantastic business overseas. 338 00:15:49,901 --> 00:15:51,201 He did well, right honey? 339 00:15:51,501 --> 00:15:55,172 I mean, not in terms of revenue, no. 340 00:15:55,539 --> 00:15:56,440 Sad. 341 00:15:57,541 --> 00:16:00,344 Wait, so you're like, uh, an entertainment lawyer. 342 00:16:00,644 --> 00:16:03,180 You know, I am like an entertainment lawyer. 343 00:16:03,715 --> 00:16:06,383 In fact, I am an entertainment lawyer. 344 00:16:06,416 --> 00:16:09,252 [laughs] She's underselling you. She's a shark. 345 00:16:09,286 --> 00:16:10,454 [groans] 346 00:16:10,487 --> 00:16:11,622 Watch... Watch out. 347 00:16:11,656 --> 00:16:13,156 She's gonna be a partner in no time. 348 00:16:13,190 --> 00:16:14,524 - Ooh! - It's just a job. 349 00:16:14,558 --> 00:16:16,627 I don't even like movies. 350 00:16:16,661 --> 00:16:19,296 [chuckles] [Brett] She doesn't like movies? 351 00:16:19,329 --> 00:16:21,632 - You loved "The Dead Doth Trot the Hills at Night." - I never saw it. 352 00:16:21,666 --> 00:16:22,700 She saw it. 353 00:16:23,768 --> 00:16:27,504 - But I'm sure it's awesome. - [Brett] Mm-Hm. See? 354 00:16:27,537 --> 00:16:30,507 Hey! Oh, shit, honey. I'm so sorry. 355 00:16:30,540 --> 00:16:34,645 This is Lisa's night. We're not here to talk about Doth Trot. 356 00:16:34,679 --> 00:16:36,546 We're here to talk about Lisa, right, Brett? 357 00:16:36,580 --> 00:16:39,416 Oh, right, absolutely, absolutely. 358 00:16:39,449 --> 00:16:41,919 Lisa, I just want to say, I mean... 359 00:16:41,953 --> 00:16:43,620 I mean, Sarah and I, 360 00:16:43,655 --> 00:16:49,393 we both wanted to say that we really enjoyed your performance tonight, right, Sarah? 361 00:16:50,460 --> 00:16:52,262 - Yes. - Oh, wow. 362 00:16:52,295 --> 00:16:55,532 Well, you know, it's not... It's not me up there on that stage. 363 00:16:55,565 --> 00:16:58,602 You know, I am... I am merely a vessel. 364 00:16:58,635 --> 00:17:03,273 Oh, I love this song. I love this song. 365 00:17:03,306 --> 00:17:05,743 - [slow music playing] - Okay. 366 00:17:05,777 --> 00:17:08,211 Um... No, really. 367 00:17:08,245 --> 00:17:10,948 Uh, when we were there, at one point in the show, 368 00:17:10,982 --> 00:17:13,517 Sarah and I, we both looked up on the stage 369 00:17:13,550 --> 00:17:20,557 and we were like, "Is that Lisa up there on the stage?" 370 00:17:21,391 --> 00:17:22,325 We did? 371 00:17:23,326 --> 00:17:24,796 [cackles] 372 00:17:24,829 --> 00:17:29,000 Sure was 'cause, um, I was up on that stage just trying to, you know, 373 00:17:29,033 --> 00:17:32,770 hold my own against much better actors. 374 00:17:32,804 --> 00:17:36,674 - You outclassed everyone else on that stage. - [Lisa] Oh, you stop it. 375 00:17:36,708 --> 00:17:38,176 Babe, can you, uh... 376 00:17:38,208 --> 00:17:41,679 Brett, weren't you going to, uh, set up a couple agent meetings for Lisa? 377 00:17:41,713 --> 00:17:43,513 - [Lisa] Yeah. - Yeah. 378 00:17:43,547 --> 00:17:44,982 - Well, I'm just a literary agent. - Yeah. Could you? 379 00:17:45,016 --> 00:17:45,983 - Could you do that? - I mean... 380 00:17:46,017 --> 00:17:46,951 - [Jack] Babe. - Well... 381 00:17:46,984 --> 00:17:49,619 No, I know, and you know what, if it's, um, 382 00:17:49,654 --> 00:17:52,322 if it's weird at all like you don't have to worry about... 383 00:17:52,355 --> 00:17:53,124 Lis, why don't I hook you up with my commercial agent? 384 00:17:53,157 --> 00:17:54,424 We can get drinks, I'll set it up. 385 00:17:54,458 --> 00:17:55,993 - Hey, Trina. - No. 386 00:17:56,027 --> 00:17:57,695 Brett, Brett is the man. 387 00:17:57,729 --> 00:18:00,031 Brett is the man with the plan, right, Bretty boy? 388 00:18:00,064 --> 00:18:03,801 - [beeps] - Okay, now that that's settled, good night. 389 00:18:03,835 --> 00:18:07,805 Okay. No, no, no, wait. Wait, let's have drinks, it's Lisa's night. 390 00:18:07,839 --> 00:18:09,006 Lisa. 391 00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:12,409 [chuckles] Honey, it's okay 'cause, look, they're tired. 392 00:18:12,442 --> 00:18:14,045 - No, we're gonna have one more drink. - [Lisa] Oh! 393 00:18:14,078 --> 00:18:15,579 - [Jack] Because it's Lisa's night. - I wouldn't mind another drink. 394 00:18:15,612 --> 00:18:16,781 - It's not. - [sighs] 395 00:18:16,814 --> 00:18:18,248 [finger clicks] 396 00:18:19,549 --> 00:18:21,686 Thank you all for coming tonight 397 00:18:22,419 --> 00:18:29,392 uh, and for staying and for celebrating this wonderful occasion. 398 00:18:29,761 --> 00:18:33,497 For the three years that I have known Lisa, 399 00:18:34,331 --> 00:18:41,072 I have seen her suffer in every possible way for her art. 400 00:18:41,105 --> 00:18:42,673 [laughter] 401 00:18:42,707 --> 00:18:48,411 But, uh, no matter how hard it got, no matter how rough or tough or stumbly, 402 00:18:48,445 --> 00:18:51,481 she never quit, just always looking toward the future. 403 00:18:52,616 --> 00:18:54,551 So, uh, Lisa. 404 00:18:54,584 --> 00:18:55,552 - To Lisa. - Paul? 405 00:18:55,585 --> 00:18:57,655 [Paul] Seriously, Lis, you killed that, okay. 406 00:18:57,688 --> 00:19:00,091 I've seen maybe like half a dozen performances of Wolfgang 407 00:19:00,124 --> 00:19:02,526 - and you are the best Constanze I have ever seen. - Oh. 408 00:19:02,559 --> 00:19:04,361 - Right, Brett? - [Brett] It's alright. 409 00:19:04,394 --> 00:19:05,629 - To Lisa. - To Lisa. 410 00:19:05,663 --> 00:19:07,397 - Lisa. - To Lisa. 411 00:19:07,430 --> 00:19:08,699 To Lisa. 412 00:19:08,733 --> 00:19:13,070 How about to Mozart? The star of our play. 413 00:19:13,104 --> 00:19:15,639 - To Paul. - Well, yeah, to Paul. 414 00:19:15,673 --> 00:19:17,307 To Paul. 415 00:19:17,842 --> 00:19:18,743 To Paul. 416 00:19:20,878 --> 00:19:22,379 And to Lisa. 417 00:19:22,412 --> 00:19:24,782 - You already did Lisa. - Right. 418 00:19:26,583 --> 00:19:29,086 - You know, how did you two meet? - Equinox. 419 00:19:29,120 --> 00:19:30,254 That place is pricey. 420 00:19:30,288 --> 00:19:32,657 - Well, I'm a trainer there, so... - Of course, you are. 421 00:19:32,690 --> 00:19:34,926 - Jack. - So, um, are you a trainer there, too? 422 00:19:35,726 --> 00:19:38,830 Please, I have to force myself to work out. 423 00:19:38,863 --> 00:19:45,502 But when Paul first started there as a trainer, I was like, "Oh, my God," you know. 424 00:19:45,535 --> 00:19:47,337 - [laughter] - [Brett] Yeah. 425 00:19:47,370 --> 00:19:52,910 Right away, I signed up for all his classes, uh, boot camp, ab blasters, curls for girls. 426 00:19:52,944 --> 00:19:57,614 Yeah, anything he taught, I was right there, front row, just sweating my tits off. 427 00:19:57,647 --> 00:19:58,850 - [Paul] My favorite. - Sounds romantic. 428 00:19:58,883 --> 00:20:00,885 Well, it sounds romantic now 429 00:20:00,918 --> 00:20:05,622 but at the time, I was so depressed, like, he's never gonna notice me. 430 00:20:06,489 --> 00:20:08,860 And then the whole thing was like a dream, you know. 431 00:20:08,893 --> 00:20:14,131 He, like, drifted over and he leaned in and he said, 432 00:20:14,165 --> 00:20:18,635 "It really looks like you're getting your body fat index under control." 433 00:20:18,669 --> 00:20:19,636 [laughs] 434 00:20:19,670 --> 00:20:22,740 Positive reinforcement, it's very important. 435 00:20:22,773 --> 00:20:24,141 I wanted to cry. 436 00:20:24,175 --> 00:20:25,676 [sighs] Me too. 437 00:20:25,710 --> 00:20:28,713 Mm-Hm, what is this stuff? It's so good. 438 00:20:28,746 --> 00:20:30,781 It's so good, right, amazing. So good, right, right? 439 00:20:30,815 --> 00:20:31,816 Amazing. 440 00:20:31,849 --> 00:20:34,785 Lisa, I have a confession to make. 441 00:20:34,819 --> 00:20:36,486 - Trina... - [Trina] No, no, no, no. 442 00:20:36,519 --> 00:20:37,520 Shh. 443 00:20:37,554 --> 00:20:41,859 We haven't met yet, but for the longest time, 444 00:20:41,893 --> 00:20:44,795 me and you, we were mortal enemies. 445 00:20:45,963 --> 00:20:48,498 [scoffs] Uh, why? 446 00:20:48,531 --> 00:20:50,567 - It's because of the play. - [Trina] The play thingy. 447 00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:52,770 Brought Trina to a dress rehearsal one time, 448 00:20:52,803 --> 00:20:54,537 - she saw us kissing onstage and now this is - That's just acting. 449 00:20:54,571 --> 00:20:57,174 - The kissing isn't real. - Ugh, I hated the kissing. 450 00:20:57,208 --> 00:20:58,408 [imitating smooches] 451 00:20:59,977 --> 00:21:04,882 But then I would grill Paul like, "Wait, like, kissing her better than me?" 452 00:21:04,916 --> 00:21:07,652 - Like, "What's the deal?" - Who wants another? Brett? 453 00:21:07,685 --> 00:21:09,186 - Yes. - Yeah, please. 454 00:21:09,220 --> 00:21:10,955 You guys, you've been friends for like a decade. 455 00:21:10,988 --> 00:21:13,190 You've been through all the same acting classes 456 00:21:13,224 --> 00:21:16,894 and all the ups and downs of being an... An actor but, um... 457 00:21:16,928 --> 00:21:19,897 But still, I... I... I knew Paul. 458 00:21:20,765 --> 00:21:26,636 I knew how he flirted, you know, just made me crazy, you know. 459 00:21:26,671 --> 00:21:27,939 [laughs] 460 00:21:27,972 --> 00:21:29,472 [chuckles] 461 00:21:29,506 --> 00:21:30,540 Kill you. 462 00:21:30,573 --> 00:21:31,876 [laughs] 463 00:21:31,909 --> 00:21:35,445 Okay, you are right about one thing. 464 00:21:36,013 --> 00:21:37,547 What's that? 465 00:21:37,580 --> 00:21:40,851 Paul is a terrible flirt. 466 00:21:40,885 --> 00:21:41,986 [scoffs] 467 00:21:42,019 --> 00:21:43,921 Okay. So, I'm a flirt. 468 00:21:43,955 --> 00:21:46,589 - I mean, you can't turn it off. - I'm horrible. 469 00:21:46,623 --> 00:21:47,457 You're a dog. 470 00:21:47,490 --> 00:21:49,827 - [thuds] - Strike me down, I am your dog. 471 00:21:49,860 --> 00:21:52,595 Strike me down, Constanze-banza. 472 00:21:52,629 --> 00:21:55,632 - Constanze-banza-ranza-danza. - No. 473 00:21:55,666 --> 00:21:58,568 [Paul] Well-deserved. I know what please you as well. 474 00:21:58,601 --> 00:22:00,004 - [Lisa] No. - Oh-oh. 475 00:22:00,037 --> 00:22:02,740 [Paul] Beat me, punish me, abuse me for your pleasure. 476 00:22:02,773 --> 00:22:05,009 Stop it, Wolfie. 477 00:22:05,042 --> 00:22:08,813 Bend and be spanked pink wherein thou art already pink. 478 00:22:08,846 --> 00:22:11,614 Enough! Okay, that's disgusting. 479 00:22:11,648 --> 00:22:14,551 That's a disgusting and vulgar scene and I hate it. 480 00:22:14,584 --> 00:22:16,687 It's the worst scene in the entire play. 481 00:22:16,721 --> 00:22:17,855 - Jack. - Yes, darling? 482 00:22:18,656 --> 00:22:19,991 You're being rude. 483 00:22:20,024 --> 00:22:23,794 Am I? I think I was just making an observation about your scene. 484 00:22:23,828 --> 00:22:25,062 Jack. Take it easy, take it easy. 485 00:22:25,096 --> 00:22:27,798 Let me, uh... Let me top you off. 486 00:22:27,832 --> 00:22:30,633 Brett, I literally have to be up in four hours, we're leaving. 487 00:22:31,769 --> 00:22:32,737 You are right. 488 00:22:32,770 --> 00:22:34,839 Hey, it's been great, we really enjoyed it. 489 00:22:34,872 --> 00:22:37,640 Play was amazing. Lisa, you were so good. Yeah. 490 00:22:38,075 --> 00:22:45,282 You know, funny thing about the play, it's not about Mozart. 491 00:22:45,316 --> 00:22:47,918 [chuckles] Who do we care about? 492 00:22:47,952 --> 00:22:49,820 Who drives the action? 493 00:22:50,988 --> 00:22:52,589 Salieri. 494 00:22:52,622 --> 00:22:53,791 [sighs] 495 00:22:53,824 --> 00:22:55,592 The play's about Salieri. 496 00:22:57,228 --> 00:23:01,932 [Jack] The man who wants so badly to be a genius that he offers up his soul to God 497 00:23:02,333 --> 00:23:05,635 and that's all he cares about, that's his whole life. 498 00:23:05,669 --> 00:23:07,637 But no matter how much he sacrifices, 499 00:23:07,671 --> 00:23:12,642 he just doesn't have the talent, no matter how hard he tries. 500 00:23:12,676 --> 00:23:14,812 Salieri will never be Mozart. 501 00:23:16,947 --> 00:23:18,149 [exhales] 502 00:23:18,182 --> 00:23:23,320 Well, Jack is not really comfortable with the term genius. 503 00:23:23,354 --> 00:23:24,587 [all laugh] 504 00:23:24,621 --> 00:23:25,990 That's not funny! 505 00:23:31,829 --> 00:23:33,130 [squeaks] 506 00:23:33,831 --> 00:23:35,565 - [beeps] - Oh! 507 00:23:36,967 --> 00:23:37,902 I'm just gonna... 508 00:23:37,935 --> 00:23:41,072 [beeping continues] 509 00:23:44,641 --> 00:23:46,177 - Right. - Alright. 510 00:23:46,911 --> 00:23:48,012 [Lisa] Drive safe. Drive safe. 511 00:23:48,045 --> 00:23:51,015 - I made a pie. - Yeah, I definitely can't eat that. 512 00:23:51,048 --> 00:23:52,649 Of course, not. 513 00:23:52,683 --> 00:23:53,583 [thumps] 514 00:23:54,685 --> 00:23:55,686 [squeaks] 515 00:23:55,719 --> 00:23:58,722 [light music playing] 516 00:24:05,863 --> 00:24:11,001 You know, historically, pie throwing is met with laughter. 517 00:24:11,035 --> 00:24:16,140 - [Lisa groans] - Honey, that was hilarious. 518 00:24:16,173 --> 00:24:19,176 You embarrassed me and you yelled at me. 519 00:24:19,210 --> 00:24:21,045 Wait, when did I yell at you? 520 00:24:21,912 --> 00:24:26,050 You practically screamed at me, "That's not funny!" 521 00:24:26,083 --> 00:24:27,818 Well, you were mocking me. 522 00:24:27,852 --> 00:24:28,919 I was not. 523 00:24:28,953 --> 00:24:32,123 "He's not really comfortable with the term genius." 524 00:24:32,156 --> 00:24:35,092 You... You... You say that. You say that all the time. 525 00:24:35,126 --> 00:24:37,895 I say it as a joke, honey, you said it as an insult. 526 00:24:37,928 --> 00:24:39,163 No, I didn't. 527 00:24:39,196 --> 00:24:41,732 Ask anyone who was here tonight. 528 00:24:41,765 --> 00:24:43,701 Fine, I'm gonna call Brett right now. 529 00:24:43,734 --> 00:24:46,837 Well, your friend is just gonna go along with anything that you say. 530 00:24:46,871 --> 00:24:49,140 Well, why don't we call your friend Paul? 531 00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:51,142 Oh, my God! 532 00:24:51,175 --> 00:24:52,943 Ask whoever you want. 533 00:24:52,977 --> 00:24:54,745 This is bullshit. 534 00:24:55,112 --> 00:24:57,114 - [both scoff] - It's not bullshit. 535 00:24:58,048 --> 00:24:59,950 It's about how you see me. 536 00:24:59,984 --> 00:25:01,719 It's about what you think of me. 537 00:25:02,186 --> 00:25:03,287 Goddammit. 538 00:25:03,320 --> 00:25:05,789 This whole night is like a frickin' afterthought to you. 539 00:25:06,724 --> 00:25:10,694 Oh, the night we're celebrating my play wasn't centered enough around you. 540 00:25:11,061 --> 00:25:12,963 - You know, that's not what I meant. - Do I? 541 00:25:13,464 --> 00:25:14,665 I think you do. 542 00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:19,103 I just wish we could redo this whole night, so that you could see how wrong you are. 543 00:25:19,770 --> 00:25:23,207 Yeah, I wish we can redo the whole night, so we can see how wrong you are. 544 00:25:26,911 --> 00:25:27,811 [sighs] 545 00:25:29,213 --> 00:25:32,216 [mellow music playing] 546 00:25:39,290 --> 00:25:44,828 [Jack] Dear Brett, Sarah, Paul and Trina, I'm so embarrassed. 547 00:25:44,862 --> 00:25:47,798 I feel terrible about how I acted last night. 548 00:25:47,831 --> 00:25:51,035 I can only imagine what you all must think of me right now. 549 00:25:51,068 --> 00:25:55,072 Anyway, Lisa and I talked about it and we want to have you all back right away 550 00:25:55,105 --> 00:25:59,777 so that I can apologize in person, as in tonight. 551 00:26:00,144 --> 00:26:01,879 I know you all lead busy lives 552 00:26:01,912 --> 00:26:06,483 but it's very important to Lisa and I that we get a chance to do this night over again. 553 00:26:06,517 --> 00:26:08,886 Please come over, please. 554 00:26:08,919 --> 00:26:10,487 It's really important. 555 00:26:10,521 --> 00:26:13,090 If you don't agree to come over right away, 556 00:26:13,123 --> 00:26:17,494 I think that this unpleasant memory will have a catastrophic effect. 557 00:26:17,528 --> 00:26:18,963 Thank you in advance. 558 00:26:18,996 --> 00:26:21,031 Your friend, Jack. [sighs] 559 00:26:21,065 --> 00:26:24,268 You're always looking toward the future, Lisa. 560 00:26:26,170 --> 00:26:26,904 Lisa... 561 00:26:27,905 --> 00:26:29,273 - [doorbell rings] - Real great. 562 00:26:31,842 --> 00:26:33,077 Wasn't it great? 563 00:26:33,811 --> 00:26:34,812 Can't get enough of us? 564 00:26:34,845 --> 00:26:35,879 [laughs] 565 00:26:35,913 --> 00:26:38,249 - Sarah. - No, no. Oh, God! We're hugging again. 566 00:26:38,282 --> 00:26:39,783 - [Sarah] Okay. - So glad. 567 00:26:39,817 --> 00:26:41,852 - [Sarah] What? - Hey, that you guys made it, man. 568 00:26:42,353 --> 00:26:44,121 - Aren't you glad you saw it? - Wolfgang? 569 00:26:44,154 --> 00:26:46,056 It's amazing, right? 570 00:26:46,090 --> 00:26:47,558 And wasn't Lisa amazing? 571 00:26:47,591 --> 00:26:49,026 Uh, yes, she was. 572 00:26:49,059 --> 00:26:52,162 So amazing. Right, Sarah? So amazing. 573 00:26:53,831 --> 00:26:54,365 Hey. 574 00:26:55,933 --> 00:26:57,801 - [chuckles] - Good. 575 00:26:57,835 --> 00:26:59,136 [Brett] You got another one, Jack? 576 00:26:59,169 --> 00:27:01,805 Sarah, darling, you want some bourbon? 577 00:27:02,172 --> 00:27:03,307 Gin and tonic. 578 00:27:03,340 --> 00:27:05,876 I'm so stupid, gin and tonic. 579 00:27:05,909 --> 00:27:09,913 I don't think we have any but I got your favorite, room-temperature wine. 580 00:27:10,914 --> 00:27:12,783 And it means a lot to Lisa that you came. 581 00:27:14,184 --> 00:27:15,052 Mm-Hm. 582 00:27:17,321 --> 00:27:18,889 - Bathroom. - What? 583 00:27:18,922 --> 00:27:20,190 - Gotta pee? - No. 584 00:27:21,191 --> 00:27:22,559 It's weird. 585 00:27:22,593 --> 00:27:23,460 Where is Lisa? 586 00:27:23,494 --> 00:27:27,965 She's getting dressed, changed, dressed. 587 00:27:27,998 --> 00:27:28,966 Wants to make an entrance. 588 00:27:28,999 --> 00:27:32,202 Exactly, because she is an actress after all. 589 00:27:32,236 --> 00:27:34,838 [cackles] 590 00:27:34,872 --> 00:27:36,807 Oh. Cheers. 591 00:27:37,875 --> 00:27:39,076 - Yeah. - Mm-Hm. 592 00:27:41,278 --> 00:27:42,413 Ahh. 593 00:27:47,084 --> 00:27:54,124 Brett, I hate to bring it up again, but, as you know, this is Lisa's first real acting job. 594 00:27:54,158 --> 00:27:55,292 Yeah, we talked about this. 595 00:27:55,326 --> 00:27:58,095 It's not some infomercial. It's not some student film. 596 00:27:58,128 --> 00:28:01,065 Jack, give me a break, alright, we talked about this, what, like 24 hours ago? 597 00:28:01,098 --> 00:28:03,067 - I'll make the calls. I promise. - No, no, I know, I know, yeah, I get it. 598 00:28:03,100 --> 00:28:06,036 You're strictly a lit agent and you represent great writers 599 00:28:06,070 --> 00:28:08,605 and I'm not comfortable with the term genius. 600 00:28:08,639 --> 00:28:09,606 Uh... 601 00:28:09,640 --> 00:28:10,841 [sighs] 602 00:28:13,377 --> 00:28:14,345 [beeps] 603 00:28:14,378 --> 00:28:15,646 I'm just gonna... 604 00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:16,980 [beeping continues] 605 00:28:17,648 --> 00:28:18,415 What's happening? 606 00:28:23,287 --> 00:28:25,989 [breathes heavily] 607 00:28:26,423 --> 00:28:27,424 [doorbell rings] 608 00:28:30,394 --> 00:28:31,895 [knock on door] 609 00:28:31,929 --> 00:28:33,230 Would you get that? 610 00:28:34,331 --> 00:28:35,265 Hey, Paul. 611 00:28:35,299 --> 00:28:37,434 How you doing? Sarah. 612 00:28:40,070 --> 00:28:42,106 [sighs] Hi, Trina. 613 00:28:42,139 --> 00:28:43,107 [sighs] 614 00:28:43,140 --> 00:28:44,908 Well, baby, come on. 615 00:28:45,409 --> 00:28:46,410 You'll be all right. 616 00:28:46,443 --> 00:28:48,979 You got it? Okay. 617 00:28:49,012 --> 00:28:50,013 Oh, not again. 618 00:28:50,047 --> 00:28:51,415 [panting] 619 00:28:52,383 --> 00:28:54,017 It's nice to see you again. 620 00:28:54,051 --> 00:28:57,054 Sorry about that, guys, I just had to... Wait a minute. 621 00:28:57,087 --> 00:29:01,358 Paul, it's so unexpectedly wonderful to see you here. 622 00:29:02,226 --> 00:29:04,928 And Trina, I'm so glad that you made it. 623 00:29:04,962 --> 00:29:07,197 - Mm. It's nice to see you again. - Jack. 624 00:29:07,231 --> 00:29:08,932 Mm. What can I get you to drink? 625 00:29:08,966 --> 00:29:09,933 Nothing. 626 00:29:09,967 --> 00:29:11,235 Really? You can have anything. 627 00:29:11,268 --> 00:29:13,036 Not true. There's no gin. 628 00:29:13,070 --> 00:29:14,905 You're right, there's no gin. 629 00:29:16,173 --> 00:29:19,143 But perhaps Brett can pour Trina some bourbon. 630 00:29:19,176 --> 00:29:21,912 - [Brett] Alright. - I will literally barf on this floor. 631 00:29:23,715 --> 00:29:26,116 Hey! 632 00:29:26,150 --> 00:29:28,018 Hello, everyone. 633 00:29:28,051 --> 00:29:29,987 Brett, hello. 634 00:29:30,020 --> 00:29:31,221 Sarah, hi. 635 00:29:31,255 --> 00:29:32,289 - Paul. - [Paul] Lisa. 636 00:29:32,322 --> 00:29:33,490 - Get over here, Paul. - Oh. 637 00:29:36,026 --> 00:29:37,995 - [groans] - Spin me. 638 00:29:38,028 --> 00:29:39,163 Okay. 639 00:29:39,196 --> 00:29:40,998 - [groans] - Again. 640 00:29:41,031 --> 00:29:42,166 [Paul] Oh, okay. 641 00:29:42,199 --> 00:29:43,300 [chuckles] 642 00:29:44,736 --> 00:29:47,304 Big hug! 643 00:29:47,337 --> 00:29:48,172 - Honey. - Yeah? 644 00:29:48,205 --> 00:29:49,339 Can I see you in my office, please? 645 00:29:49,373 --> 00:29:50,307 - Sure. - Wonderful. 646 00:29:50,340 --> 00:29:53,177 Strange you didn't mention Paul was coming. 647 00:29:53,210 --> 00:29:55,045 I specifically remember doing that. 648 00:29:55,078 --> 00:29:56,447 Ugh. It's not what you said. 649 00:29:56,480 --> 00:29:58,315 Okay, well, that's not what you said either. 650 00:29:58,348 --> 00:30:00,350 Well, what did I say exactly? 651 00:30:03,120 --> 00:30:08,358 You remember last night when, uh, Trina forgot that you were Constanze in the play thingy? 652 00:30:08,392 --> 00:30:11,528 I do. Not without my big poofy hair. 653 00:30:11,562 --> 00:30:13,731 And then Trina, you remember how he brought up that scene? 654 00:30:13,765 --> 00:30:14,965 It's a great scene. 655 00:30:14,998 --> 00:30:17,134 It's Paul and Lisa and they're just goofing around the palace. 656 00:30:17,167 --> 00:30:19,203 - Baa! - Yeah, that's a good one. 657 00:30:19,236 --> 00:30:22,139 - Baa! Baa! - That's right. 658 00:30:22,172 --> 00:30:24,341 - Paul, do you remember that? - I do. 659 00:30:24,374 --> 00:30:26,143 Baa! 660 00:30:26,176 --> 00:30:27,377 - Do it, Paul. - Come on, Paul. 661 00:30:28,145 --> 00:30:30,481 - [Lisa] Baa! - Awoo! 662 00:30:30,514 --> 00:30:33,484 - [Paul] What do my eyes do? They do appear a little... - [Lisa] No. 663 00:30:33,517 --> 00:30:34,518 ...lamby-bamby, pamby. 664 00:30:34,551 --> 00:30:37,254 I'm going to rush-crush. I'm going to gnaw-saw. 665 00:30:37,287 --> 00:30:41,225 I'm going to rip you to... Oh, we're going over the couch again... To my fang-pangs. 666 00:30:41,258 --> 00:30:43,360 Awoo! 667 00:30:43,393 --> 00:30:46,597 [Paul] I descend like moonlight unto thy pale bosom. 668 00:30:49,801 --> 00:30:52,569 That this could be the great Mozart made the sting all the worse. 669 00:30:52,603 --> 00:30:56,006 That is Salieri's line. What do you have a photographic memory or something? 670 00:30:56,406 --> 00:30:57,274 I do. 671 00:30:58,442 --> 00:31:00,143 Imagine having an argument with her. 672 00:31:01,278 --> 00:31:02,613 Right, right. 673 00:31:02,646 --> 00:31:07,150 Then I remember Trina saying she actually felt bad for Salieri 674 00:31:07,184 --> 00:31:10,187 because Salieri just doesn't have it. 675 00:31:10,220 --> 00:31:14,792 And then I made the observation that by contrast... What the hell was it? 676 00:31:14,826 --> 00:31:15,793 - [beeping] - Okay, so that thing is beeping. 677 00:31:15,827 --> 00:31:21,365 Oh, mm-hm. By contrast, Mozart is perfection. 678 00:31:21,398 --> 00:31:25,335 And then I said, how the hell can Salieri not be jealous. 679 00:31:25,870 --> 00:31:26,905 [thuds] 680 00:31:26,938 --> 00:31:30,541 However, darling, when I said that, I recall... 681 00:31:30,574 --> 00:31:36,079 Weren't you over here, Paul, just humping away on Lisa? 682 00:31:36,113 --> 00:31:38,248 - That's what I remember. - [Lisa] Paul, continue. 683 00:31:38,282 --> 00:31:41,151 [Paul] Oh, my little lamb-legged Constanze-banza-ranza. 684 00:31:41,184 --> 00:31:43,320 You're shaking, you're terrified of young Wolfie, 685 00:31:43,353 --> 00:31:45,088 you're gonna stain your little white wool brown. 686 00:31:45,122 --> 00:31:46,189 Oh! 687 00:31:46,590 --> 00:31:48,660 - [beeping continues] - Oh, Jesus! 688 00:31:50,460 --> 00:31:51,328 I'm just gonna... 689 00:31:54,331 --> 00:31:55,465 Boom. 690 00:31:58,201 --> 00:31:59,469 [mumbling] 691 00:32:01,238 --> 00:32:03,574 [groans] 692 00:32:03,607 --> 00:32:06,343 Charcuterie, charcuterie, charcuterie, charcuterie. 693 00:32:06,376 --> 00:32:07,411 - [ref closes] - You alright? 694 00:32:08,512 --> 00:32:09,613 Oh, I am fine, Paul. 695 00:32:09,646 --> 00:32:11,582 Thank you for your tremendous concern. 696 00:32:12,583 --> 00:32:15,586 [Jack] Charcuterie, charcuterie, charcuterie, charcuterie, choo-choo. 697 00:32:15,619 --> 00:32:16,854 [cackles] 698 00:32:16,888 --> 00:32:19,189 Anybody hungry? I made a charcuterie plate. 699 00:32:19,222 --> 00:32:20,591 I just ate. We just ate. 700 00:32:20,624 --> 00:32:21,993 We just ate. 701 00:32:22,026 --> 00:32:24,161 Paul, I know you can't have any because of your Reebok commercial. 702 00:32:24,595 --> 00:32:25,697 Right. 703 00:32:25,730 --> 00:32:27,097 Plus, you're a CrossFit vegan who saves puppies, yay. 704 00:32:27,130 --> 00:32:30,868 And I thought it was an interesting choice to have Mozart played 705 00:32:30,902 --> 00:32:34,204 - by an African-American. - Whoa, Jack? 706 00:32:34,237 --> 00:32:35,205 [Paul] Again, with this shit? 707 00:32:35,238 --> 00:32:36,340 No, no, no, no, no. 708 00:32:36,373 --> 00:32:38,208 No. 709 00:32:38,241 --> 00:32:41,211 [Jack] No, no, no. 710 00:32:41,244 --> 00:32:43,146 Okay, wait. Is anybody else having an out-of-body experience? 711 00:32:43,180 --> 00:32:44,481 Thank you, I thought I was losing my mind. 712 00:32:44,514 --> 00:32:46,450 - Moving on. - Okay, that's my limit. 713 00:32:46,483 --> 00:32:47,484 - Goodnight, everyone. - [Brett] Yeah, okay. 714 00:32:48,619 --> 00:32:50,253 - Wait. - Wait. 715 00:32:50,587 --> 00:32:52,090 Okay, okay, this is what's going on. 716 00:32:52,122 --> 00:32:56,493 Lisa and I had an argument last night and then to figure out who was right, 717 00:32:56,526 --> 00:32:58,495 - we decided to do over the entire night... - Yeah. 718 00:32:58,528 --> 00:32:59,296 Start to finish. 719 00:32:59,329 --> 00:33:02,599 Everything exactly the way it was. 720 00:33:03,433 --> 00:33:05,703 So that's why we're here, again. 721 00:33:05,737 --> 00:33:07,905 [both laugh] 722 00:33:07,939 --> 00:33:09,674 We probably should have told you guys. 723 00:33:09,707 --> 00:33:11,943 [laughing] 724 00:33:11,976 --> 00:33:15,479 But we were worried that you might not come. 725 00:33:15,512 --> 00:33:17,347 That's right. Get out of my way. 726 00:33:17,381 --> 00:33:19,684 Wait, wait, wait. This is interesting, right, 727 00:33:19,717 --> 00:33:23,620 Jack and Lisa are doing this to strengthen their relationship, right? 728 00:33:23,655 --> 00:33:25,555 - Right. - They're supporting each other 729 00:33:25,589 --> 00:33:26,724 and that's why we're here, isn't it? 730 00:33:27,992 --> 00:33:29,526 To support each other. 731 00:33:32,764 --> 00:33:33,665 Fine. 732 00:33:37,702 --> 00:33:39,236 Coat. 733 00:33:39,704 --> 00:33:40,604 Mm. 734 00:33:42,439 --> 00:33:45,275 - Wait, wait, wait, if we're really doing this... - Trina. 735 00:33:45,308 --> 00:33:48,345 Everything has to be exactly as it was last night, right? 736 00:33:48,378 --> 00:33:49,546 But you're sick. 737 00:33:50,614 --> 00:33:53,718 We're going to find out who's right. 738 00:33:54,584 --> 00:33:55,619 Yeah, we are. 739 00:33:56,486 --> 00:33:58,221 Ugh. I am fine. 740 00:34:01,726 --> 00:34:03,460 - What? - Get on the floor. 741 00:34:03,493 --> 00:34:04,729 - [Paul] Seriously? - [Lisa] Come on, Paul. 742 00:34:05,730 --> 00:34:07,297 Sarah, where did we leave off? 743 00:34:11,002 --> 00:34:12,770 Next, we talked about Henry Shipley. 744 00:34:12,804 --> 00:34:14,706 Almond, bite. 745 00:34:14,739 --> 00:34:16,406 [Brett] Okay, photographic memory. What did I say? 746 00:34:16,440 --> 00:34:18,608 - Stare. - It certainly was a great play. 747 00:34:18,642 --> 00:34:22,579 Yes. And, uh, okay, I talked about what a success that guy was, 748 00:34:22,612 --> 00:34:25,382 Broadway and Hollywood, hit after hit. 749 00:34:25,415 --> 00:34:26,651 God, if I could have been his agent. 750 00:34:26,684 --> 00:34:27,652 That's not what I said. 751 00:34:27,685 --> 00:34:28,653 - Mmm... - Yes, it is. 752 00:34:28,686 --> 00:34:30,320 - Yeah. - Mm-Hm. 753 00:34:31,956 --> 00:34:33,390 Oh, yeah, I might have commented on how great Shipley's career was for a second, 754 00:34:33,423 --> 00:34:36,794 but then I went on to talk about how great Jack's script was and it is, 755 00:34:36,828 --> 00:34:39,997 - it's a great script, Jack. - Um, look, I know we're doing it like a thing here, 756 00:34:40,031 --> 00:34:44,669 but I was just wondering, who did you play in The Dead Doth Trot the Hills at Night? 757 00:34:45,535 --> 00:34:47,437 Oh, um... 758 00:34:47,471 --> 00:34:49,339 Do you remember the pharmacy sequence? 759 00:34:49,372 --> 00:34:50,742 Yeah, I mean, it's my favorite part of the whole movie. 760 00:34:50,775 --> 00:34:53,044 - Isn't it great? - So great. 761 00:34:53,077 --> 00:34:54,078 [Trina] Who were you in that? 762 00:34:54,112 --> 00:34:58,415 I was, um, topless female zombie number three. 763 00:34:58,448 --> 00:35:00,484 You got to see Doth Trot, Sarah, it's so good. 764 00:35:00,517 --> 00:35:02,352 I mean, that sequence alone, right, Trina? 765 00:35:02,385 --> 00:35:04,354 Oh, it's midnight. 766 00:35:04,387 --> 00:35:07,024 The zombies have finally reached the little pharmacy in the hills. 767 00:35:07,058 --> 00:35:09,626 And we don't know, okay, we have no idea. 768 00:35:09,660 --> 00:35:11,662 - They have no idea. - [Lisa] If there's even any more antidote left. 769 00:35:11,696 --> 00:35:14,364 - [Brett] I don't know. - Right, so is it too late for us 770 00:35:14,397 --> 00:35:16,600 to be cured of our murderous rage? 771 00:35:16,633 --> 00:35:18,635 So much tension, so much tension. 772 00:35:18,669 --> 00:35:23,507 And so, I... I kick down the pharmacy doors and I get in there. 773 00:35:23,540 --> 00:35:26,811 [Lisa] And that's when the posse of townspeople arrive. 774 00:35:26,844 --> 00:35:29,613 You frickin' zombies! Or whatever they say. 775 00:35:29,646 --> 00:35:32,049 Yeah, that was it and they're just... They're just blasting away. 776 00:35:32,083 --> 00:35:33,751 Boom, boom, boom. 777 00:35:33,785 --> 00:35:35,720 You know so that is when I take a stand, Sarah. 778 00:35:35,753 --> 00:35:39,389 - Yeah. - I walk up to the posse and I reach out my hand 779 00:35:39,422 --> 00:35:42,760 and I am covered in blood. I mean, bloody. 780 00:35:42,794 --> 00:35:46,764 My shirt is just ripped off and I look at them and I say, 781 00:35:48,132 --> 00:35:51,301 "Do we not share a common humanity?" 782 00:35:52,103 --> 00:35:53,805 - That was you. - That was me. 783 00:35:53,838 --> 00:35:55,273 [chuckles] 784 00:35:55,673 --> 00:35:57,108 [Trina] It really was an awesome line. 785 00:35:57,141 --> 00:35:58,075 Thanks. 786 00:35:58,109 --> 00:36:00,745 I mean, even hearing it just now, goose bumps. 787 00:36:00,778 --> 00:36:02,146 [chuckles] 788 00:36:02,180 --> 00:36:03,413 - Yeah, I appreciate that. - Yeah, and you know what, after that, 789 00:36:03,446 --> 00:36:06,684 the priest blew your head off with the rocket launcher, right. 790 00:36:06,717 --> 00:36:07,785 - [Paul] Yeah. - [Trina laugh] 791 00:36:08,518 --> 00:36:09,854 So funny. 792 00:36:09,887 --> 00:36:11,856 I did not write that. That was not part of the original script. 793 00:36:11,889 --> 00:36:14,391 I mean, your head just went fucking kaboom! 794 00:36:14,424 --> 00:36:15,893 There were shards of brains everywhere. 795 00:36:15,927 --> 00:36:17,295 So awesome. 796 00:36:17,327 --> 00:36:19,396 Yeah, that was the director, though. He demanded the rocket launcher. 797 00:36:19,429 --> 00:36:21,866 Yeah, which is why the movie didn't ultimately work. 798 00:36:21,899 --> 00:36:23,366 Because of a rocket launcher? 799 00:36:23,400 --> 00:36:26,871 No, because the director didn't grasp the nuance of the fucking script. 800 00:36:29,472 --> 00:36:31,575 So, what was next? 801 00:36:31,608 --> 00:36:35,579 Brett volunteered to find you a talent agent. 802 00:36:35,612 --> 00:36:36,546 [Sarah] Yeah. You remember? 803 00:36:36,580 --> 00:36:38,548 Oh, yeah. I remember that, Brett. [laughs] 804 00:36:38,582 --> 00:36:40,818 Do you want to... Actually, do you want to just do that again? 805 00:36:40,852 --> 00:36:41,886 [Lisa] Do you want to run through that real quick? 806 00:36:41,919 --> 00:36:46,389 Um, I was like, um... Uh, sure, Lisa, I could... 807 00:36:46,423 --> 00:36:49,459 Uh, I could definitely introduce you to some talent agents. 808 00:36:49,492 --> 00:36:52,596 Well, okay, but do you really think you can do that? 809 00:36:52,629 --> 00:36:55,867 But, remember, I am just a literary agent. 810 00:36:55,900 --> 00:36:57,902 Thank you, honey. 811 00:36:57,935 --> 00:37:01,172 Uh, well, um, I'm just a literary agent. 812 00:37:01,205 --> 00:37:02,840 Right, and Paul chimes in and he says, 813 00:37:02,874 --> 00:37:05,542 "Hey, I'm gonna take you out for dinner with my agent." 814 00:37:05,575 --> 00:37:07,812 I offered to help, yes. 815 00:37:07,845 --> 00:37:09,146 Oh, yeah, and then Sarah wanted to leave. 816 00:37:09,180 --> 00:37:09,847 I was tired. 817 00:37:09,881 --> 00:37:11,048 I just wanted to give a toast. 818 00:37:11,082 --> 00:37:13,718 - And then Trina got herself another drink. - Oh, God! 819 00:37:13,751 --> 00:37:14,517 [Paul] Trina, what are you doing? 820 00:37:14,551 --> 00:37:16,453 We're gonna find out who's right. 821 00:37:16,486 --> 00:37:17,520 Yeah! 822 00:37:17,554 --> 00:37:18,923 To the dining room. 823 00:37:19,924 --> 00:37:21,893 [footsteps thumping] 824 00:37:21,926 --> 00:37:23,895 [Trina] Paul, I'm sure, you were there and I was here. 825 00:37:23,928 --> 00:37:25,562 - Okay, the hostility, you don't need that. - You were there and I was here. 826 00:37:25,595 --> 00:37:26,831 - [Paul] You don't need that. - [breathes heavily] 827 00:37:26,864 --> 00:37:29,800 - Okay, so I said... - [Lisa] Yeah. 828 00:37:30,201 --> 00:37:32,803 - Thank you all for coming... - Tch, tch, tch, tch, tch. 829 00:37:33,704 --> 00:37:36,807 Thank you all for coming out tonight. 830 00:37:37,808 --> 00:37:42,445 - Uh... - In the three years that I've known Lisa... 831 00:37:42,479 --> 00:37:43,881 Three years. Thank you, Sarah. 832 00:37:45,716 --> 00:37:48,485 In the three years that I have known Lisa... 833 00:37:48,518 --> 00:37:49,820 Lis, what was the argument about? 834 00:37:51,188 --> 00:37:53,658 Jack thought I said something that was meant to make fun of him. 835 00:37:53,691 --> 00:37:57,560 No matter how hard things got... Trying to make a toast. 836 00:37:57,594 --> 00:37:58,561 Okay. Well... 837 00:37:59,797 --> 00:38:01,598 - No matter how hard things... - [Paul] Wait, what did you say? 838 00:38:01,631 --> 00:38:03,134 We call him a genius. 839 00:38:03,167 --> 00:38:05,937 She was always optimistic about the future. That's not how you said it. 840 00:38:05,970 --> 00:38:09,907 - It is how I said it. - She was always optimistic toward the future. 841 00:38:09,941 --> 00:38:12,209 - And then Paul coming up just like last night... - Yeah. 842 00:38:12,243 --> 00:38:15,478 - And I said, Lisa... - Yes, he did interrupt, still in dream... 843 00:38:15,512 --> 00:38:18,816 - [Paul] Oh, Trina. - ...to go on and on about Lisa. 844 00:38:18,849 --> 00:38:22,653 Okay, Trina, but then you talked about how you and Paul met. 845 00:38:22,687 --> 00:38:24,822 Well, a tale as old as time itself. 846 00:38:24,855 --> 00:38:27,658 Girl falls in love with a gym instructor. 847 00:38:28,693 --> 00:38:35,700 Girl watches as gym instructor flirts with all the little hot girls in their little jog bras. 848 00:38:36,566 --> 00:38:37,935 It sounds romantic, right? 849 00:38:37,969 --> 00:38:39,971 - Trina. - Oh, I suppose I'm imagining that now, too. 850 00:38:40,004 --> 00:38:40,871 - You okay? - Mm-Hm. 851 00:38:40,905 --> 00:38:43,506 [Paul] Okay, fine, let's do this then. 852 00:38:43,540 --> 00:38:44,607 I don't want to air out our dirty laundry, 853 00:38:44,641 --> 00:38:47,244 but last night, Trina and I had an argument, too. 854 00:38:47,278 --> 00:38:48,279 Oh, yeah, about what? 855 00:38:48,312 --> 00:38:49,714 About Paul and Lisa. 856 00:38:49,747 --> 00:38:51,716 - What? - What about Paul and Lisa? 857 00:38:51,749 --> 00:38:55,987 Oh, isn't Lisa gonna be such a massive success? 858 00:38:56,020 --> 00:38:58,889 Wasn't she just so amazing in the thingy? 859 00:38:58,923 --> 00:39:01,258 - It was a toast. People say nice things sometimes. - It was my toast. 860 00:39:01,292 --> 00:39:06,529 I am Paul and I have seen this play all over the world. 861 00:39:06,563 --> 00:39:09,867 - And Lisa is by far the best poofy haired girl. - [Paul] I didn't say that. 862 00:39:09,900 --> 00:39:12,269 - [Trina] You're hung up on her, Paul, just admit it. - I just never said that. 863 00:39:12,303 --> 00:39:13,804 - I never said that. - He didn't say it like that. 864 00:39:13,838 --> 00:39:14,705 [Trina] I didn't say... I didn't say any of that. 865 00:39:14,739 --> 00:39:16,107 This is... But this is why we're here. 866 00:39:16,140 --> 00:39:18,676 This is why we're here tonight, so you can see that you're wrong. 867 00:39:18,709 --> 00:39:20,277 [Paul] Lisa, help me out. 868 00:39:20,311 --> 00:39:22,279 - Trina, you're wrong. - I'm not wrong. 869 00:39:22,313 --> 00:39:24,581 Yes, you are because Paul and I, we are just friends. 870 00:39:24,614 --> 00:39:26,616 Just friends, did you hear that? We're just friends. 871 00:39:26,649 --> 00:39:28,618 - Oh, you're just friends? - Yes, we're just friends. 872 00:39:28,652 --> 00:39:30,021 - You're just friends, are you? - We're just friends. 873 00:39:30,054 --> 00:39:31,322 - You're just friends. - That's disgusting. 874 00:39:31,355 --> 00:39:33,590 - Oh, that's really mature. - Oh, you just friends. 875 00:39:33,623 --> 00:39:35,993 - Yeah, so mature. - Oh, you just friends. You just friends. 876 00:39:36,027 --> 00:39:39,296 - Oh, my God. - [garbling] 877 00:39:39,330 --> 00:39:41,032 - Just friends, right? - You're a freak. 878 00:39:41,065 --> 00:39:42,967 - You're just friends. - This is over. 879 00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:45,936 I don't wanna hear about this ever again, alright? 880 00:39:45,970 --> 00:39:48,072 - My mind is certainly at ease now. - This is never going to end. 881 00:39:48,105 --> 00:39:50,007 She's not going to stop, she's just not gonna stop. 882 00:39:50,041 --> 00:39:51,641 What did I do? I haven't done anything. 883 00:39:51,675 --> 00:39:54,078 Wow, okay, guess what. 884 00:39:54,111 --> 00:39:58,648 There is nothing, nothing to be jealous of. 885 00:39:58,682 --> 00:40:00,084 Oh, I love this song. 886 00:40:00,918 --> 00:40:02,086 Dance, Trina, dance. 887 00:40:02,119 --> 00:40:03,921 To the living room. 888 00:40:03,954 --> 00:40:07,158 [groovy music playing] 889 00:40:10,127 --> 00:40:12,029 No, it's not a problem. 890 00:40:12,063 --> 00:40:16,000 No, I have accepted the way that things are 891 00:40:16,934 --> 00:40:21,038 and I should actually be thanking Paul for helping me realize this about the world. 892 00:40:21,839 --> 00:40:24,875 None of us is attracted to just one person. 893 00:40:24,909 --> 00:40:26,944 I mean, let's be honest. 894 00:40:26,977 --> 00:40:29,080 There's a lot of candy out there. 895 00:40:29,980 --> 00:40:33,951 You might be with one person, but all day long, 896 00:40:33,984 --> 00:40:35,986 you find your eyes drawn to a stranger. 897 00:40:36,821 --> 00:40:39,990 A co-worker, a friend, 898 00:40:40,024 --> 00:40:45,595 or maybe someone you met at a cocktail party. 899 00:40:46,097 --> 00:40:48,365 - Mm? - Uh... Excuse me. 900 00:40:48,399 --> 00:40:50,367 Hey. Is there something I need to know here? 901 00:40:50,401 --> 00:40:54,939 No, why are you blaming me for Paul's bad behavior? Blame Paul, he is the dog. 902 00:40:54,972 --> 00:40:57,041 Awoo! 903 00:40:57,074 --> 00:40:59,143 [Paul] Strike me down, I am your dog. 904 00:40:59,176 --> 00:41:04,081 Strike me down, Constanze-panza. Constanze-panza-ranza-danza. 905 00:41:04,115 --> 00:41:05,783 No. 906 00:41:06,884 --> 00:41:09,687 [Paul] Well-deserved that you know what please as well. 907 00:41:09,720 --> 00:41:10,754 - No. - Hello. 908 00:41:10,788 --> 00:41:14,091 Beat me, punish me, abuse me for your pleasure. 909 00:41:14,125 --> 00:41:16,160 - [Lisa] Stop it, Wolfie. - I don't know what to do with my hands. 910 00:41:16,193 --> 00:41:17,795 [Paul] Or does mistress want to be beaten herself? 911 00:41:17,828 --> 00:41:18,996 Hey, Paul. 912 00:41:19,029 --> 00:41:21,098 Did you... Did you want to control Miss Equinox over here? 913 00:41:21,132 --> 00:41:22,933 Trina, I know exactly what you're doing. 914 00:41:22,967 --> 00:41:24,401 Don't worry, Paul, we're just friends. 915 00:41:24,435 --> 00:41:27,138 Bend and be spanked pink wherein thou art already pink. 916 00:41:27,171 --> 00:41:29,006 - Trina! - Alright, enough. 917 00:41:29,039 --> 00:41:32,143 I'm... I'm done. I, uh... I can't do this anymore. 918 00:41:32,176 --> 00:41:34,812 [Lisa] But we haven't gotten to the part we were arguing about. 919 00:41:34,845 --> 00:41:36,180 I don't need to. I already know what happened. 920 00:41:36,213 --> 00:41:37,848 [Lisa] No, you don't. 921 00:41:37,882 --> 00:41:41,418 You don't know, Jack, and that is why we need to redo this exactly the way it was. 922 00:41:41,452 --> 00:41:43,020 Yeah, but nobody's doing that. 923 00:41:43,053 --> 00:41:45,189 How are we supposed to get to the truth if we can't... 924 00:41:45,222 --> 00:41:48,425 I mean, Paul brings up the rocket launcher. 925 00:41:48,459 --> 00:41:52,696 Trina's just riding all over Brett and then Paul brings up the rocket launcher. 926 00:41:52,730 --> 00:41:54,899 Man, we didn't talk about any of that shit yesterday. 927 00:41:54,932 --> 00:41:57,668 - [beeping] - Oh, f... I'm just gonna... 928 00:42:00,204 --> 00:42:01,805 Oh, God. 929 00:42:04,842 --> 00:42:06,677 - [Sarah] Oh, no! - I made a pie. 930 00:42:10,281 --> 00:42:12,716 - [sighs] - I made a pie. 931 00:42:15,052 --> 00:42:16,020 I made a pie. 932 00:42:16,921 --> 00:42:18,455 I got that CrossFit commercial coming. 933 00:42:18,489 --> 00:42:19,723 Of course, you do. 934 00:42:19,757 --> 00:42:20,891 [thuds] 935 00:42:20,925 --> 00:42:24,128 [classical music playing] 936 00:42:26,497 --> 00:42:27,731 - [doorbell rings] - Coming. 937 00:42:28,232 --> 00:42:30,801 [chuckling] 938 00:42:32,102 --> 00:42:33,037 Wasn't it great? 939 00:42:33,971 --> 00:42:34,905 So great. 940 00:42:35,272 --> 00:42:36,507 Amazing. 941 00:42:36,540 --> 00:42:38,175 So great, amazing. 942 00:42:38,209 --> 00:42:39,243 So great. 943 00:42:40,110 --> 00:42:42,079 - Amazing. - [keyboard clacking] 944 00:42:44,515 --> 00:42:46,884 - I'm so glad you made it. - Okay, we're hugging. Okay. 945 00:42:46,917 --> 00:42:47,818 Okay. 946 00:42:49,153 --> 00:42:52,156 We wanted to come earlier in the run. You just get so busy. 947 00:42:52,189 --> 00:42:53,824 Aren't you glad you saw it though? 948 00:42:53,857 --> 00:42:55,526 Wasn't Lisa amazing? 949 00:42:55,559 --> 00:42:57,828 Wasn't Lisa amazing? 950 00:42:57,861 --> 00:43:00,764 - [keys jangling] - Oops! 951 00:43:00,798 --> 00:43:04,802 [classical music playing] 952 00:43:06,270 --> 00:43:07,137 Special occasion. 953 00:43:08,138 --> 00:43:10,140 Go ahead, open it up. 954 00:43:10,174 --> 00:43:11,075 [pops] 955 00:43:11,542 --> 00:43:13,177 - Woo! - [keyboard clacking] 956 00:43:13,210 --> 00:43:14,111 Woo! 957 00:43:14,979 --> 00:43:16,013 [moans] 958 00:43:16,547 --> 00:43:18,749 - [beeps] - I'm just gonna... 959 00:43:19,817 --> 00:43:21,752 - Doorbell rings. - [doorbell rings] 960 00:43:22,019 --> 00:43:23,554 Cue Paul and Trina. 961 00:43:23,587 --> 00:43:26,190 Paul, you don't remember me at all, do you? 962 00:43:26,223 --> 00:43:27,925 - Not at all. - Ah, he's finally honest. 963 00:43:27,958 --> 00:43:29,893 Guys, be serious. 964 00:43:30,561 --> 00:43:32,830 - Am I in the right place? - Am I in the right place? 965 00:43:34,598 --> 00:43:36,200 It's Brett. 966 00:43:36,233 --> 00:43:37,034 You know, we actually sat right next to each other at the premiere of Doth Trot. 967 00:43:37,067 --> 00:43:39,103 - Oh, my God! - Just let it go, man. 968 00:43:39,136 --> 00:43:40,237 - Guys. - Screw you, man. 969 00:43:40,271 --> 00:43:41,238 Right back at you, buddy. 970 00:43:41,272 --> 00:43:42,306 Guys, come on. 971 00:43:44,174 --> 00:43:45,909 Oh, hey, Paul. 972 00:43:46,277 --> 00:43:48,212 - Jack. - [Jack] So glad you made it. 973 00:43:48,245 --> 00:43:51,048 You're totally welcome even though I wasn't told you were coming. 974 00:43:51,081 --> 00:43:52,283 [Lisa] I told you, Jack. 975 00:43:52,316 --> 00:43:54,051 [laughs] 976 00:43:55,286 --> 00:43:57,288 - [doorbell rings] - Wasn't it great? 977 00:43:57,321 --> 00:43:59,857 - Lisa, was so great. - Right? 978 00:43:59,890 --> 00:44:00,725 Amazing. 979 00:44:00,759 --> 00:44:02,960 - "Right, Sarah?" - Amazing. Right, Sarah? 980 00:44:02,993 --> 00:44:04,561 - Great. - So great. 981 00:44:04,595 --> 00:44:07,798 [groovy music playing] 982 00:44:10,267 --> 00:44:11,869 [Jack] Can I get you a drink? 983 00:44:11,902 --> 00:44:13,937 [Brett] She's gotta try the bourbon. You gotta try it. 984 00:44:16,206 --> 00:44:19,109 [screams] [Jack] There she is. 985 00:44:19,143 --> 00:44:22,179 Hello, everyone. 986 00:44:22,212 --> 00:44:23,247 Thank you all so much for coming. 987 00:44:23,280 --> 00:44:25,182 Brett, hi. Sarah, hi. 988 00:44:25,215 --> 00:44:26,116 - Paul. - Lis. 989 00:44:26,150 --> 00:44:30,154 - Thank you, Paul. - They hug, Jack seethes. 990 00:44:30,187 --> 00:44:31,322 - [shatters] - [doorbell rings] 991 00:44:32,089 --> 00:44:32,956 Wasn't it great? 992 00:44:33,624 --> 00:44:34,825 Special occasion. 993 00:44:35,159 --> 00:44:36,193 Hi, I'm Trina. 994 00:44:37,094 --> 00:44:38,095 Hi, I'm Trina. 995 00:44:38,929 --> 00:44:40,030 Hi. 996 00:44:40,064 --> 00:44:43,967 [upbeat music playing] 997 00:44:45,636 --> 00:44:46,870 [doorbell rings] 998 00:44:46,904 --> 00:44:48,405 Awoo! 999 00:44:48,439 --> 00:44:50,341 Awoo! 1000 00:44:50,374 --> 00:44:51,710 Awoo! 1001 00:44:51,743 --> 00:44:55,979 - Baa! - Oh, what do my eyes [inaudible] little lamby-bamby, pamby. 1002 00:44:56,013 --> 00:44:57,314 - No! - I'm going to rush-crush. 1003 00:44:57,348 --> 00:44:58,415 I'm going to gnaw-saw. 1004 00:44:58,449 --> 00:45:01,318 I'm going to rip you into pieces with my fang-pangs. 1005 00:45:01,352 --> 00:45:03,620 I descend like moonlight upon that pale bosom. 1006 00:45:03,655 --> 00:45:06,290 That this could be the great Mozart made the sting all the worse. 1007 00:45:06,323 --> 00:45:08,992 How do you know that line? That's Salieri's line. 1008 00:45:09,026 --> 00:45:11,028 - [Lisa] Got a photographic memory or something? - I do. 1009 00:45:11,061 --> 00:45:12,629 Imagine having an argument with her. 1010 00:45:12,664 --> 00:45:15,265 - I felt bad for that Salieri guy. - [Lisa] Sure did. 1011 00:45:15,299 --> 00:45:16,500 He tries so hard, he just doesn't have it. 1012 00:45:16,533 --> 00:45:18,969 - [beeps] - You're scared of young Wolfie. You're terrified. 1013 00:45:19,002 --> 00:45:20,371 You're going to stain your little white wool brown. 1014 00:45:20,404 --> 00:45:26,977 - [beeping] - [gasping] 1015 00:45:27,010 --> 00:45:29,446 Thank you all for coming out to celebrate this... 1016 00:45:29,480 --> 00:45:31,014 [Jack] It's not about Mozart. ...night. 1017 00:45:31,048 --> 00:45:32,983 No matter how much you sacrifice... 1018 00:45:33,016 --> 00:45:34,618 For three years, Lisa and I have been together... 1019 00:45:34,652 --> 00:45:36,053 Who do we care about? Who drives the action? He just doesn't have the talent. 1020 00:45:36,086 --> 00:45:40,057 Salieri. No matter how hard he tries. The play is about Salieri. 1021 00:45:40,090 --> 00:45:41,392 He just doesn't have the talent. 1022 00:45:41,425 --> 00:45:42,861 [keyboard clacking] 1023 00:45:42,893 --> 00:45:47,164 - I say, "Lisa," and that is when Paul interrupts me. - [doorbell rings] 1024 00:45:47,197 --> 00:45:48,165 Did I really? 1025 00:45:48,198 --> 00:45:49,701 You killed it, Lis. 1026 00:45:49,734 --> 00:45:55,239 And then I said, "And here's to Mozart, the star of our play. Here's to Paul." 1027 00:45:55,272 --> 00:45:56,907 - Paul. - [glasses clink] 1028 00:45:57,307 --> 00:45:58,475 To Paul. 1029 00:45:58,509 --> 00:46:01,278 [gasps] I can't drink anymore. 1030 00:46:01,311 --> 00:46:02,680 You have to drink, Trina. 1031 00:46:02,714 --> 00:46:05,048 It says "everybody drinks." 1032 00:46:06,718 --> 00:46:07,451 [Jack] Good girl. 1033 00:46:08,352 --> 00:46:11,221 - Good girl. - Wait, so you're a writer? 1034 00:46:12,222 --> 00:46:13,924 He's a great writer. 1035 00:46:14,224 --> 00:46:16,226 Oh, uh, yeah, he's a great writer. 1036 00:46:17,060 --> 00:46:17,961 Brett. 1037 00:46:18,429 --> 00:46:20,097 It's true, Jack. 1038 00:46:20,130 --> 00:46:21,932 Oh, sorry, it's true, Jack. 1039 00:46:22,332 --> 00:46:24,334 What do you write, just play thingies? 1040 00:46:25,469 --> 00:46:27,237 Uh-huh, he writes movies. 1041 00:46:28,205 --> 00:46:29,273 Oh, wow. 1042 00:46:30,007 --> 00:46:31,041 Oh, wow! 1043 00:46:32,142 --> 00:46:33,711 He writes great movies. What is wrong with you guys? 1044 00:46:33,745 --> 00:46:35,312 He writes great movies. 1045 00:46:35,345 --> 00:46:36,447 What? 1046 00:46:36,480 --> 00:46:37,981 I can't do this anymore. 1047 00:46:38,482 --> 00:46:39,450 I'm done. 1048 00:46:40,652 --> 00:46:42,286 - What are you talking about? Don't leave. - [whimpers] 1049 00:46:43,187 --> 00:46:44,455 It's going great. 1050 00:46:45,122 --> 00:46:48,392 [chuckles] Wasn't the play awesome? 1051 00:46:49,059 --> 00:46:52,262 So good, so good, so great. Oh, really? 1052 00:46:52,296 --> 00:46:56,266 Oh. I'm just trying to hold my own against much better actors. 1053 00:46:56,300 --> 00:46:59,369 [gasps] Oh, you wrote "The Dead Doth Trot", 1054 00:46:59,403 --> 00:47:02,172 or whatever the fuck the name of that movie is. 1055 00:47:02,206 --> 00:47:04,107 It was so funny. 1056 00:47:04,141 --> 00:47:06,109 [laughing] 1057 00:47:06,143 --> 00:47:07,211 It's going great, right? 1058 00:47:07,244 --> 00:47:09,546 [gasps] It gave me goose bumps, see? 1059 00:47:09,580 --> 00:47:10,682 [laughter] 1060 00:47:10,715 --> 00:47:14,551 Aren't you guys just a bunch of beautiful snowflakes? 1061 00:47:14,585 --> 00:47:18,355 - Okay, honey brave... - No, I am done being nice. 1062 00:47:18,388 --> 00:47:19,757 Wait! 1063 00:47:19,791 --> 00:47:20,892 Ouch. 1064 00:47:20,925 --> 00:47:23,761 I am only here because you forced me to be, Brett. 1065 00:47:23,795 --> 00:47:27,030 I came, I supported you and now I'm done. 1066 00:47:28,499 --> 00:47:32,503 You know, you people have no idea what work is. 1067 00:47:32,536 --> 00:47:36,774 You're like, "Do you like my little make-believe story?" 1068 00:47:36,808 --> 00:47:40,544 You know, it's not just me up there. Baa! 1069 00:47:40,577 --> 00:47:43,213 I'm merely a vessel. 1070 00:47:44,081 --> 00:47:46,350 I have an actual job. 1071 00:47:46,383 --> 00:47:47,785 I make decisions. 1072 00:47:47,819 --> 00:47:50,220 I... I... I dry clean my clothes 1073 00:47:50,254 --> 00:47:54,525 and all I want right now more than anything in the world is sleep. 1074 00:47:55,827 --> 00:47:58,395 - [sighs] - Honey, wait, please, wait, wait. 1075 00:47:58,428 --> 00:48:00,163 No more hugging. 1076 00:48:05,135 --> 00:48:06,169 [sighs] Okay. 1077 00:48:07,170 --> 00:48:08,305 She's just really tired, you know. So great. 1078 00:48:12,309 --> 00:48:14,545 [laugh] 1079 00:48:16,146 --> 00:48:17,514 - [exhales] - Damn. 1080 00:48:17,548 --> 00:48:19,082 - [beeps] - [thuds] 1081 00:48:19,583 --> 00:48:22,085 Sorry, honey. I'm just gonna... 1082 00:48:22,119 --> 00:48:25,489 [beeping continues] 1083 00:48:26,590 --> 00:48:28,525 [screaming] 1084 00:48:28,559 --> 00:48:29,459 [slams] 1085 00:48:30,193 --> 00:48:31,428 I made a pie. 1086 00:48:31,461 --> 00:48:33,530 - Why this isn't working? - I don't know. 1087 00:48:33,564 --> 00:48:34,464 [thumps] 1088 00:48:35,767 --> 00:48:40,304 [Jack] Dear Brett, Sara, Paul and Trina, over the last, 1089 00:48:40,337 --> 00:48:43,607 who knows how many nights, we have been on a search for truth. 1090 00:48:44,274 --> 00:48:45,208 Who am I? 1091 00:48:45,242 --> 00:48:47,177 What is the nature of my relationship? 1092 00:48:47,210 --> 00:48:49,546 Is change even possible? 1093 00:48:49,580 --> 00:48:53,483 We have each tirelessly pursued answers to these questions. 1094 00:48:53,517 --> 00:48:57,588 But, and I confess this to you all, we have failed. 1095 00:48:57,621 --> 00:49:03,327 However, after careful thought, I have come to an exciting realization. 1096 00:49:03,360 --> 00:49:07,264 We have been unable to attain the truth we seek 1097 00:49:07,297 --> 00:49:12,235 simply because we, in the very act of reenacting our own arguments, 1098 00:49:12,269 --> 00:49:18,241 do not have the objectivity necessary for clear analytical judgment. 1099 00:49:18,275 --> 00:49:20,510 Accordingly, I have come upon a tactic 1100 00:49:20,544 --> 00:49:23,647 which should serve to facilitate this objectivity, 1101 00:49:23,681 --> 00:49:29,152 therefore, allowing for the possibility of full unfettered insight and understanding. 1102 00:49:29,186 --> 00:49:31,254 I look forward to seeing you all tonight. 1103 00:49:31,288 --> 00:49:34,391 - Your friend, Jack. - [door closes] 1104 00:49:36,360 --> 00:49:38,663 - Paul. - Jack. 1105 00:49:43,567 --> 00:49:44,468 [door closes] 1106 00:49:45,435 --> 00:49:49,172 Jack, honey, what... What's happening here? 1107 00:49:50,675 --> 00:49:51,575 Oh, God. 1108 00:49:51,608 --> 00:49:54,679 [mellow music playing] 1109 00:49:56,546 --> 00:49:58,181 Will the actors please enter? 1110 00:50:10,728 --> 00:50:12,730 - Hi. - Hi. 1111 00:50:12,764 --> 00:50:13,765 Thanks. 1112 00:50:17,467 --> 00:50:18,468 Okay, welcome. 1113 00:50:19,436 --> 00:50:21,438 As you know, you have all been summoned here 1114 00:50:21,471 --> 00:50:26,309 to audition for a new play called "The Argument." 1115 00:50:27,344 --> 00:50:30,948 I am Jack, the writer/director, 1116 00:50:30,982 --> 00:50:33,517 and I would love for each of you to say your name 1117 00:50:33,550 --> 00:50:36,754 and then tell us the character part you're reading for today. 1118 00:50:39,523 --> 00:50:42,694 I usually like to absorb the material ahead of time. 1119 00:50:42,727 --> 00:50:44,528 But sure, let's do a call. 1120 00:50:45,262 --> 00:50:47,264 [Walter] My name is Walter Howard Johnson III. 1121 00:50:47,297 --> 00:50:51,301 I'm a singer-songwriter, sculptor, sailor, chef, 1122 00:50:51,334 --> 00:50:54,271 but, most importantly, the seeker of truth. 1123 00:50:54,304 --> 00:50:56,573 - Oh, yeah. - And what part are you reading for? 1124 00:50:56,606 --> 00:50:58,575 I'm reading for Jack. 1125 00:50:58,608 --> 00:51:00,210 [laughs] 1126 00:51:01,779 --> 00:51:03,380 Thank you. Next. 1127 00:51:04,015 --> 00:51:08,720 Hi, I'm Lisa, that's my real name and the character's name, 1128 00:51:08,753 --> 00:51:12,322 which is sort of like fate, I guess you could say. 1129 00:51:12,355 --> 00:51:14,291 [laughter] 1130 00:51:14,324 --> 00:51:19,797 Anyways, I am five-seven. My measurements are 36-24-36... 1131 00:51:19,831 --> 00:51:21,799 - Why do we need to know her measurements? - Shh. 1132 00:51:21,833 --> 00:51:26,738 ...which is a true hourglass. I enjoy jet skiing, beach volleyball, 1133 00:51:26,771 --> 00:51:28,740 - and making new friends. - Oh. 1134 00:51:28,773 --> 00:51:30,307 - [Actor Lisa] Yeah. - I'm Brett. 1135 00:51:30,340 --> 00:51:34,011 And I also brought, um, some headshots and bikini shots if anyone wants one. 1136 00:51:34,045 --> 00:51:35,445 - Oh, my God. - [Trina] No, thank you. 1137 00:51:35,479 --> 00:51:36,513 I'll take one. 1138 00:51:37,949 --> 00:51:39,083 - I'm just gonna have a drink. - [Jack] Maybe we would do that later. 1139 00:51:39,117 --> 00:51:40,718 - I'll just... I'll put these right here. - Awesome. 1140 00:51:40,752 --> 00:51:42,653 Hey, uh, do I know you? 1141 00:51:42,687 --> 00:51:43,755 No, I don't think so. 1142 00:51:44,554 --> 00:51:46,623 - Mm-hm. - Okay, uh, who's next? 1143 00:51:46,657 --> 00:51:50,360 - First of all, I participate in the arts because it's political. - Oh, Jesus. 1144 00:51:50,393 --> 00:51:52,629 To challenge to the status quo is my generation's responsibility 1145 00:51:52,663 --> 00:51:54,065 and I make no apologies for that. 1146 00:51:54,098 --> 00:51:56,433 - Good for you. - Oh, my God, Jack. 1147 00:51:56,466 --> 00:51:57,467 - What? - What? 1148 00:51:57,501 --> 00:51:58,970 - What's your name? - Oh, my name is irrelevant. 1149 00:51:59,003 --> 00:52:03,473 Although I am heterosexual, I would like to dedicate my performance today 1150 00:52:03,507 --> 00:52:07,344 to my LGBTAQ brothers and sisters across the globe. 1151 00:52:07,377 --> 00:52:08,913 And for the duration of this reading, 1152 00:52:08,946 --> 00:52:12,449 I would like to be referred to as my non-binary gender identifier of Myke, 1153 00:52:12,482 --> 00:52:14,719 it's with a Y, if you can deal with that. 1154 00:52:14,752 --> 00:52:15,686 - Me? - Yeah. 1155 00:52:15,720 --> 00:52:16,821 That's really funny. 1156 00:52:16,854 --> 00:52:18,656 At first, I thought you said your name was "Irrelevant" 1157 00:52:18,689 --> 00:52:20,457 and I thought that's kind of cool name. 1158 00:52:20,490 --> 00:52:22,059 - You go, Trina. - It's Myke. 1159 00:52:22,093 --> 00:52:23,761 - Right. - Who's next? 1160 00:52:24,829 --> 00:52:27,464 Oh, um, my name is Billy 1161 00:52:27,497 --> 00:52:31,535 and I am auditioning for the role of Brett and the role of Sarah. 1162 00:52:31,568 --> 00:52:34,806 - [clapping] - Great casting. 1163 00:52:34,839 --> 00:52:36,808 Hold on. How does that even work? 1164 00:52:36,841 --> 00:52:38,341 Hey, give the kid a shot, Paul. 1165 00:52:38,375 --> 00:52:41,078 Boy, can I just say this is so exciting. 1166 00:52:41,112 --> 00:52:44,682 I mean, I've been in L.A. for not even a month and already I'm auditioning for a play. 1167 00:52:44,715 --> 00:52:46,717 [laughter] 1168 00:52:46,751 --> 00:52:49,654 Yeah, I... I told... Told my folks, um, over the phone last night 1169 00:52:49,687 --> 00:52:53,825 and they're just so pumped. [laughs] 1170 00:52:53,858 --> 00:52:55,893 - Should I sit? I should sit back, down. Yeah. - Okay. 1171 00:52:55,927 --> 00:52:58,395 - [door thuds] - [howling] 1172 00:52:58,428 --> 00:53:02,099 What up, motherfuckers? My name is D-Fuckin'-Money. 1173 00:53:02,133 --> 00:53:05,670 I'm playing motherfuckin'... Paul. 1174 00:53:07,470 --> 00:53:09,106 - Um. - Seriously, Jack? 1175 00:53:09,140 --> 00:53:12,710 What? I didn't fucking write that. Holy shit, mister. 1176 00:53:12,743 --> 00:53:14,544 I don't know, don't you think he's just a little, uh... 1177 00:53:14,578 --> 00:53:17,480 Little... Little... Little... What? Oh, man! 1178 00:53:17,514 --> 00:53:19,784 Oh, oh! A little what? 1179 00:53:19,817 --> 00:53:21,752 Little what? Little what? 1180 00:53:21,786 --> 00:53:23,587 Little what? What? Little what? Little what? 1181 00:53:23,620 --> 00:53:25,455 Say it, say it, say it, motherfucker, say it. 1182 00:53:25,488 --> 00:53:27,925 Whoa, whoa, could we just like not do the offensive language? 1183 00:53:27,959 --> 00:53:29,593 That's what I thought. 1184 00:53:31,494 --> 00:53:32,697 That's how I fucking talk. 1185 00:53:32,730 --> 00:53:34,765 So, you just went out to the hood and found the blackest... 1186 00:53:34,799 --> 00:53:36,734 - Whoa! - Oh! - Babe! 1187 00:53:36,767 --> 00:53:40,470 What? No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. 1188 00:53:40,503 --> 00:53:43,941 No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. 1189 00:53:43,975 --> 00:53:45,475 Watch your fucking mouth. 1190 00:53:45,508 --> 00:53:46,543 [sighs] 1191 00:53:46,576 --> 00:53:48,378 [sighs] 1192 00:53:49,680 --> 00:53:51,883 That's your script. And that's your seat there. 1193 00:53:51,916 --> 00:53:53,416 - Sup? - Hi. 1194 00:53:53,450 --> 00:53:54,785 Okay, let's dive right in. 1195 00:53:55,753 --> 00:53:56,654 Excuse me. 1196 00:53:58,155 --> 00:53:59,891 I was wondering if you could tell us a little bit about this production. 1197 00:53:59,924 --> 00:54:01,792 The ad on Craigslist didn't have much info. 1198 00:54:01,826 --> 00:54:05,629 - Craigslist. - Why don't we save all of these extraneous questions 1199 00:54:05,663 --> 00:54:09,700 for after all the fun stuff and get into the creative right now? What do you say, guys? 1200 00:54:09,734 --> 00:54:11,669 [Jack] Yeah? Okay, wonderful. 1201 00:54:11,702 --> 00:54:13,771 - Lisa is gonna read the stage directions. - Really? 1202 00:54:15,907 --> 00:54:19,576 This is... That's also Lisa, isn't that funny? 1203 00:54:19,609 --> 00:54:23,513 The Argument, a play in one act. 1204 00:54:23,546 --> 00:54:25,515 Lights up in the kitchen of a small, 1205 00:54:25,548 --> 00:54:28,853 tastefully appointed Spanish-styled bungalow in Hollywood, California. 1206 00:54:28,886 --> 00:54:32,823 Preparing appetizers with impressive culinary skills is Jack, 1207 00:54:32,857 --> 00:54:38,495 30, a quiet soul, clearly, a deep thinker, 1208 00:54:38,528 --> 00:54:42,800 but not without a rugged animal magnetism. 1209 00:54:42,833 --> 00:54:43,935 What? I like it. 1210 00:54:43,968 --> 00:54:45,002 I like it already. 1211 00:54:45,770 --> 00:54:47,238 Thank you. 1212 00:54:47,271 --> 00:54:50,808 The doorbell rings, Jack opens the door to find Brett, 40, in a suit. 1213 00:54:50,841 --> 00:54:51,641 Wait, 40? 1214 00:54:51,676 --> 00:54:53,010 - Brett, you are 40. - But I look 40? 1215 00:54:53,044 --> 00:54:54,812 - That's accurate, yes. - You look... - That I... That I believe... 1216 00:54:54,845 --> 00:54:55,746 - [Lisa] Anyways... - Can we just continue? 1217 00:54:55,780 --> 00:54:57,815 [inaudible] production, the part of Sarah, 1218 00:54:57,848 --> 00:55:00,550 entertainment lawyer and longtime girlfriend of Brett, 1219 00:55:00,583 --> 00:55:04,956 will be played for the entirety of the production by a sock puppet? 1220 00:55:04,989 --> 00:55:07,557 Hi, there, how's everybody doing? 1221 00:55:07,590 --> 00:55:08,793 What the hell is happening? 1222 00:55:08,826 --> 00:55:11,963 Brett and I spoke and if Sarah doesn't want to participate. 1223 00:55:11,996 --> 00:55:14,999 If Sarah doesn't want to be here, she is a sock. 1224 00:55:15,032 --> 00:55:17,534 Calling me a child, I'm not the child, she's a child. 1225 00:55:17,567 --> 00:55:19,070 - [chuckling] - [cellphone cackling] 1226 00:55:19,103 --> 00:55:23,573 Well, on that slightly aggressive note, it sure is good to meet you guys. 1227 00:55:23,606 --> 00:55:24,607 [Brett] You're a sock puppet, Sarah. 1228 00:55:24,641 --> 00:55:26,744 - [camera shutter clicks] - That's what you are. 1229 00:55:26,777 --> 00:55:29,013 You're a sock puppet. Mee, mee, mee. 1230 00:55:29,046 --> 00:55:30,848 [laughs] 1231 00:55:30,881 --> 00:55:32,283 We'll see how she likes this one, huh? 1232 00:55:32,316 --> 00:55:35,252 Okay, people. We have a lot to get through here. 1233 00:55:35,286 --> 00:55:37,487 So, uh, Jack. 1234 00:55:38,789 --> 00:55:39,824 Wasn't it great? 1235 00:55:40,958 --> 00:55:43,761 Oh, um, so great, amazing. 1236 00:55:43,794 --> 00:55:45,730 So glad you guys could make it. 1237 00:55:45,763 --> 00:55:47,298 Hey, is it cool if I take my shirt off for this? 1238 00:55:47,331 --> 00:55:48,799 - Do it. - What? 1239 00:55:48,833 --> 00:55:52,003 - I just really like to go for it as an actor. - No, man, don't. No. Don't. 1240 00:55:52,036 --> 00:55:53,603 [Jack] No, don't take your shirt off. 1241 00:55:53,636 --> 00:55:54,872 Just trying to feel my way around this. 1242 00:55:54,905 --> 00:55:56,240 Okay. Lisa. 1243 00:55:56,273 --> 00:55:58,743 - Yeah, you should take your shirt off. - I agree. Hi, I'm Trina. 1244 00:55:58,776 --> 00:55:59,744 Read the stage directions. 1245 00:55:59,777 --> 00:56:00,878 Oh. 1246 00:56:00,911 --> 00:56:02,046 Ooh, sorry. 1247 00:56:02,079 --> 00:56:04,849 Uh, Jack wraps Sarah in a warm embrace. 1248 00:56:06,117 --> 00:56:09,920 Oh, we're hugging again. Okay. 1249 00:56:09,954 --> 00:56:11,789 What can I get you guys to drink? 1250 00:56:11,822 --> 00:56:14,692 - Um, you have any bourbon? - [Walter] Yes, we do. 1251 00:56:14,725 --> 00:56:17,028 - Dude, stop. - Quiet, motherfucker! We acting. 1252 00:56:17,061 --> 00:56:18,628 Yeah, quiet! 1253 00:56:18,662 --> 00:56:20,197 Okay, moving on, Jack. 1254 00:56:20,231 --> 00:56:23,100 I actually do have a nice little bottle that I picked up for the occasion. 1255 00:56:23,134 --> 00:56:27,104 Jack selflessly offers the no less than $100 bottle of bourbon 1256 00:56:27,138 --> 00:56:28,571 to his literary agent Brett 1257 00:56:28,605 --> 00:56:31,976 despite the fact that Jack hasn't been sent out on a meeting in months, 1258 00:56:32,009 --> 00:56:33,677 which we shall learn later. 1259 00:56:33,711 --> 00:56:35,578 - Jesus, Jack. - I write what I know. 1260 00:56:35,612 --> 00:56:37,948 Hey, Brett. I don't want to put you on the spot. 1261 00:56:38,349 --> 00:56:40,718 Well, what can I do for you? 1262 00:56:40,751 --> 00:56:42,987 This was Lisa's first serious acting job. 1263 00:56:43,020 --> 00:56:43,921 Right. 1264 00:56:43,954 --> 00:56:45,656 Not some student film. 1265 00:56:45,689 --> 00:56:48,325 - [laugh] - Right. 1266 00:56:48,359 --> 00:56:50,795 - Not an infomercial. - Oh, right. 1267 00:56:50,828 --> 00:56:55,933 Not topless female zombie 3 in the movie which shall remain nameless. 1268 00:56:55,966 --> 00:56:59,737 Actual acting, which is what she loves. 1269 00:56:59,770 --> 00:57:01,505 Jack takes a deep breath, 1270 00:57:01,539 --> 00:57:05,042 for he is about to selflessly attempt to offer career support to his beloved girlfriend, 1271 00:57:05,076 --> 00:57:11,581 even though, he unconsciously knows that she will never truly appreciate his efforts. 1272 00:57:13,084 --> 00:57:16,353 Jack, can I talk to you in your office for a second? 1273 00:57:16,387 --> 00:57:18,189 - Yeah. - Not you. 1274 00:57:19,657 --> 00:57:20,691 You. 1275 00:57:22,760 --> 00:57:25,162 - What are we doing? - No, no, no, this is so good. This is helping... 1276 00:57:25,196 --> 00:57:26,697 Helping what? 1277 00:57:26,730 --> 00:57:27,965 Helping us figure out who's right. 1278 00:57:27,998 --> 00:57:29,867 About what? I can't even remember. 1279 00:57:29,900 --> 00:57:32,703 Of course, this is a really tough time in the industry right now. 1280 00:57:32,736 --> 00:57:33,838 Beep, beep, beep. 1281 00:57:33,871 --> 00:57:35,072 [thumps] 1282 00:57:35,106 --> 00:57:36,674 I'm just gonna... 1283 00:57:41,779 --> 00:57:42,847 Where the fuck he going? 1284 00:57:42,880 --> 00:57:43,747 [gasps] 1285 00:57:46,450 --> 00:57:47,885 I think we really have something here. 1286 00:57:47,918 --> 00:57:50,821 It's current, it's political, it speaks to where we are as a people. 1287 00:57:50,855 --> 00:57:52,823 - What are you doing in here? - I need to move. 1288 00:57:52,857 --> 00:57:54,125 It helps me discover the character. 1289 00:57:54,158 --> 00:57:55,793 - Yeah. - Jesus. - Jesus. 1290 00:57:55,826 --> 00:57:58,129 He opens the stove, checks the pie. 1291 00:58:01,966 --> 00:58:03,134 Um, don't do that. 1292 00:58:04,634 --> 00:58:08,205 Look, man, I'm open to direction, but at some point, this is my craft. 1293 00:58:10,107 --> 00:58:12,076 Ding-dong, motherfucking doorbell. 1294 00:58:14,178 --> 00:58:15,645 Brett, could you get that? 1295 00:58:19,984 --> 00:58:21,085 This is the right place. 1296 00:58:21,852 --> 00:58:23,187 It's Brett. 1297 00:58:23,220 --> 00:58:25,956 Yeah, yeah. You good. You good. Brett. Brett the agent, right? 1298 00:58:25,990 --> 00:58:29,860 Paul pretends to remember Brett but it's clear that he never cared enough to try. 1299 00:58:30,461 --> 00:58:33,931 [Lisa] In fact, one wonders if Paul has ever cared about anything other than himself. 1300 00:58:33,964 --> 00:58:36,800 Yes, one does wonder that, doesn't she? 1301 00:58:36,834 --> 00:58:39,904 Years ago, doesn't matter, this is Sarah. 1302 00:58:39,937 --> 00:58:41,138 Sarah, 'sup? What's up? 1303 00:58:41,172 --> 00:58:44,008 - Oh, how you doing? - Sarah, really? Come on. 1304 00:58:44,041 --> 00:58:46,944 - Hi, I'm Trina. - Excuse me? 1305 00:58:46,977 --> 00:58:50,047 Paul introduces Sarah and Brett to his Australian girlfriend 1306 00:58:50,080 --> 00:58:51,415 whose body fat index is under control. 1307 00:58:51,448 --> 00:58:55,786 Yeah, buddy, this is my girl Trina. Trina, this is Brett and... 1308 00:58:56,520 --> 00:58:58,189 Hi, I'm Trina. 1309 00:58:58,222 --> 00:59:00,191 - Hi, I'm Sarah. - [D-Money] Yeah, that'd be Sarah. 1310 00:59:00,224 --> 00:59:01,725 Yeah. 1311 00:59:01,759 --> 00:59:06,830 Hi, I'm Trina... Wait, have you proof-read this? I say that like eight times. 1312 00:59:06,864 --> 00:59:07,965 Oh, yeah, it's perfect. 1313 00:59:07,998 --> 00:59:08,999 Hello. 1314 00:59:09,800 --> 00:59:12,203 You have a lovely home. 1315 00:59:12,236 --> 00:59:14,772 I do not live here. 1316 00:59:14,805 --> 00:59:17,208 It is then that Lisa makes her grand entrance. 1317 00:59:20,044 --> 00:59:21,011 [gasps] 1318 00:59:21,845 --> 00:59:22,846 Okay. 1319 00:59:23,814 --> 00:59:24,882 Oh, yeah. 1320 00:59:24,915 --> 00:59:25,849 What? 1321 00:59:26,784 --> 00:59:29,253 [footsteps thump] 1322 00:59:35,926 --> 00:59:36,927 Hello, everyone. 1323 00:59:37,328 --> 00:59:39,763 Woo! 1324 00:59:40,264 --> 00:59:42,866 - Thank you. - What is up, baby girl? 1325 00:59:42,900 --> 00:59:45,502 - Jack. - What? You think I wrote that? 1326 00:59:45,536 --> 00:59:46,971 But did you cast her? 1327 00:59:47,004 --> 00:59:48,138 She's the only one that answered the ad, honey. 1328 00:59:48,172 --> 00:59:52,009 - Craigslist. - Thank you all so much for being here. 1329 00:59:52,543 --> 00:59:55,179 Brett, hello. Hi, Sarah. 1330 00:59:56,880 --> 00:59:59,049 - And Paul. You're Paul. - Mm-hm. 1331 00:59:59,583 --> 01:00:02,853 Trina lets loose with a long strange laugh. 1332 01:00:03,287 --> 01:00:05,289 Ho-ho-ho-ho! 1333 01:00:05,322 --> 01:00:08,292 - [laughs] - Whee, hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! 1334 01:00:08,325 --> 01:00:09,893 I know what a strange laugh is. 1335 01:00:09,927 --> 01:00:11,862 - Hoo-hoo-hoo! - Are you already drunk? 1336 01:00:11,895 --> 01:00:13,330 [panting] I am in hell. 1337 01:00:13,364 --> 01:00:15,232 - Lisa. - Me? 1338 01:00:15,266 --> 01:00:17,201 - Actor Lisa. - I'm also an actor, Jack. 1339 01:00:17,234 --> 01:00:19,536 - [Jack] Actor Jack. - No, not actor Jack. 1340 01:00:19,570 --> 01:00:21,205 Everything okay? 1341 01:00:21,238 --> 01:00:25,809 Oh, oh, you're Paul's wife... I mean, in the play thingy. I didn't recognize... 1342 01:00:25,843 --> 01:00:27,177 [sighs] Sorry, I get out of breath. 1343 01:00:27,211 --> 01:00:29,880 I didn't recognize you with all the big poofy hair, 1344 01:00:29,913 --> 01:00:31,282 - you were so good... - Hair. 1345 01:00:31,315 --> 01:00:32,283 It's hair. 1346 01:00:32,316 --> 01:00:33,984 - Hair. - Hair. 1347 01:00:34,018 --> 01:00:34,952 [Myke] Hair. 1348 01:00:34,985 --> 01:00:36,755 - That's what I'm saying. Hair. - Moving on. 1349 01:00:36,787 --> 01:00:41,992 I love that part where you and Paul are sort of fooling around in the library or whatever, 1350 01:00:42,026 --> 01:00:44,595 and you're acting like a little mouse. 1351 01:00:44,628 --> 01:00:46,030 - Lamb. - Lamb. 1352 01:00:46,063 --> 01:00:47,766 Did I say mouse? 1353 01:00:47,798 --> 01:00:51,602 Lisa and Paul begin to act out the scene in question with Lisa's superior acting skills 1354 01:00:51,635 --> 01:00:53,203 basically carrying the scene. 1355 01:00:53,937 --> 01:00:58,175 Baa! Baa! Baa! Baa! 1356 01:00:58,208 --> 01:01:02,179 - Awoo! - Baa! 1357 01:01:02,212 --> 01:01:06,617 Oh, what do my eyes do they appear, a little lamby-bamby, pamby. 1358 01:01:06,651 --> 01:01:09,053 Little... What the fuck is this shit, man? 1359 01:01:09,086 --> 01:01:09,887 Yeah, what is this shit? 1360 01:01:09,920 --> 01:01:11,121 That's the one part I didn't write. 1361 01:01:11,155 --> 01:01:13,957 - [laughs] - [Actor Lisa] I'm sorry. I have a quick question? 1362 01:01:13,991 --> 01:01:17,027 - So, I am living with Jack. - Mm-Hm. 1363 01:01:17,061 --> 01:01:20,331 Okay? But I also have a thing with this Paul character, right? 1364 01:01:21,065 --> 01:01:22,266 [all gasp] 1365 01:01:22,299 --> 01:01:23,934 - I'm just confused. - [Lisa] Oh, my God. 1366 01:01:23,967 --> 01:01:26,270 You know, that's really interesting, it's a... That's an interesting observation. 1367 01:01:26,303 --> 01:01:29,206 I can see how that's one interpretation of it. 1368 01:01:29,239 --> 01:01:32,343 - [clatters] I'm sorry, Herr Direktor. - Ooh, hey. 1369 01:01:32,376 --> 01:01:35,245 - But could I please talk to you in our office? - Yes, darling. 1370 01:01:37,114 --> 01:01:39,049 Why? 1371 01:01:40,017 --> 01:01:42,386 Not really comfortable with the term genius. 1372 01:01:42,419 --> 01:01:47,224 It was done in the wrong spirit; it was mocking and I apologize. 1373 01:01:47,257 --> 01:01:49,960 You know, you shouldn't say you're wrong if you don't really believe it. 1374 01:01:49,993 --> 01:01:51,261 [footsteps thumping] 1375 01:01:52,563 --> 01:01:55,099 Quick note, all this lamby-pamby stuff, you gotta cut it. 1376 01:01:55,132 --> 01:01:57,301 It's too wordy. It's too weird. It's not grabbing me. 1377 01:01:57,334 --> 01:01:58,335 Get out. 1378 01:01:59,436 --> 01:02:02,973 He takes a large charcuterie plate from the fridge. 1379 01:02:05,710 --> 01:02:06,443 [sighs] 1380 01:02:07,177 --> 01:02:10,381 [clatters] 1381 01:02:10,414 --> 01:02:11,348 Don't do that. 1382 01:02:11,382 --> 01:02:12,983 Hey, you wrote it. 1383 01:02:13,016 --> 01:02:16,019 [light music playing] 1384 01:02:23,293 --> 01:02:24,428 Anybody hungry? 1385 01:02:25,195 --> 01:02:26,263 Who could eat this late? 1386 01:02:28,198 --> 01:02:29,299 [Billy] What is it? 1387 01:02:30,300 --> 01:02:31,435 It's a charcuterie plate. 1388 01:02:31,468 --> 01:02:34,371 [Billy] It's so nice. 1389 01:02:34,405 --> 01:02:35,472 [sighs] 1390 01:02:35,506 --> 01:02:37,241 [Billy] Yeah, it looks good, Jack. 1391 01:02:37,274 --> 01:02:40,210 Paul, get in here. 1392 01:02:41,412 --> 01:02:44,014 Man, I ain't eatin' that shit. 1393 01:02:44,047 --> 01:02:47,117 At first blush, Paul's comment seems very rude, 1394 01:02:47,151 --> 01:02:49,086 but Jack chooses not to respond 1395 01:02:49,520 --> 01:02:52,189 because he's not one to prejudge another human. 1396 01:02:52,222 --> 01:02:57,961 Instead, he treats each individual with dignity and respect. 1397 01:02:57,995 --> 01:02:59,129 Why not? 1398 01:02:59,163 --> 01:03:01,231 I'm just really conscious of my fat intake right now. 1399 01:03:01,265 --> 01:03:04,301 I'm shooting a Reebok CrossFit's commercial next month. 1400 01:03:04,334 --> 01:03:06,136 [Actor Lisa] Oh, you booked that? 1401 01:03:06,170 --> 01:03:07,337 Oh, yeah, man, it's going to be National. 1402 01:03:08,338 --> 01:03:11,041 - Wow. Paul, that's amazing! - Mmm. 1403 01:03:11,074 --> 01:03:12,309 [D-Money] I know, right. 1404 01:03:12,342 --> 01:03:13,243 I gotta keep my abs. 1405 01:03:13,277 --> 01:03:15,412 [Actor Lisa] Like you ever need to worry. 1406 01:03:15,446 --> 01:03:18,148 Plus, I'm pretty much totally vegan right now, so... 1407 01:03:18,549 --> 01:03:20,451 - CrossFit and vegan. - [D-Money] Yeah. 1408 01:03:20,484 --> 01:03:23,387 Do you also rescue puppies from animal shelters in your spare time? 1409 01:03:23,420 --> 01:03:25,055 Fuck that commercial, I need a drink. 1410 01:03:25,088 --> 01:03:27,524 This is good. Escalating conflict. 1411 01:03:27,558 --> 01:03:29,092 Let's stir the pot. 1412 01:03:29,761 --> 01:03:31,195 I really feel like I should have my shirt off. 1413 01:03:31,228 --> 01:03:32,229 - Yes! - [Lisa] Yes, please. 1414 01:03:32,262 --> 01:03:33,497 - Oh, my God! Yes. - [Jack] You don't have to... 1415 01:03:34,699 --> 01:03:36,099 - what is the matter with you? - [Actor Lisa] Oh, my God. 1416 01:03:36,133 --> 01:03:38,268 That's how I know you. 1417 01:03:38,302 --> 01:03:40,137 I knew what I know and I knew it. I knew I know you. 1418 01:03:40,170 --> 01:03:43,407 The Wolfgang audition, you auditioned for that, right? 1419 01:03:43,440 --> 01:03:46,410 Oh, wow. 1420 01:03:47,044 --> 01:03:48,278 [breathes heavily] 1421 01:03:48,312 --> 01:03:50,080 Yes, I did, okay. 1422 01:03:50,113 --> 01:03:51,982 [Actor Lisa] Did you book that part? 1423 01:03:52,249 --> 01:03:53,517 I did. 1424 01:03:53,550 --> 01:03:57,421 Congratulations, I mean, that is... That's huge. 1425 01:03:57,454 --> 01:04:00,491 So, you auditioned for that, too? 1426 01:04:00,524 --> 01:04:01,759 [Actor Lisa] Yeah, I did. 1427 01:04:01,793 --> 01:04:05,496 - Kind of went for like a Germany accent like this. - Mm-hm. 1428 01:04:05,529 --> 01:04:10,100 Oh, Mr. Mozart! You were so naughty, 1429 01:04:10,133 --> 01:04:15,272 I'm going to spank you on your calduffin puffin" something like that, I don't know. 1430 01:04:16,073 --> 01:04:18,041 - I hate this industry. - Moving on. 1431 01:04:18,075 --> 01:04:21,378 I bleed for my craft and what do I get? I get experimental crap. 1432 01:04:21,411 --> 01:04:24,248 - Hey. - Nothing's even happening. Where's the action? 1433 01:04:24,281 --> 01:04:27,417 Well, it certainly is an amazing play. 1434 01:04:27,451 --> 01:04:31,355 All of Shipley's plays actually; Wolfgang, the... 1435 01:04:31,388 --> 01:04:34,124 The Equestrian, he was a real success. 1436 01:04:34,157 --> 01:04:35,092 [Walter] That's interesting, Brett. 1437 01:04:35,125 --> 01:04:37,494 It seems like he's a writer beyond reproach. 1438 01:04:37,528 --> 01:04:41,064 Anyone who criticizes his work must be a total idiot. 1439 01:04:41,098 --> 01:04:44,134 On the contrary, even the great play Wolfgang 1440 01:04:44,167 --> 01:04:47,504 received some definitely mixed reviews when it premiered in London. 1441 01:04:47,538 --> 01:04:49,139 Well, that's... That's very interesting. 1442 01:04:49,172 --> 01:04:50,607 Isn't it though? 1443 01:04:50,641 --> 01:04:52,509 Whoa, whoa, hold on. We didn't talk about any of this the first night. 1444 01:04:52,543 --> 01:04:55,512 Well, this is when I lost the human Dictaphone 1445 01:04:55,546 --> 01:04:57,581 and I was doing the best that I could. 1446 01:04:57,614 --> 01:05:01,184 - Actor Jack. - Well, now I just don't know what to think. 1447 01:05:01,218 --> 01:05:06,356 Shipley is pretty good but I represent some real great writers, too. 1448 01:05:07,558 --> 01:05:10,193 - Like you, Jack. - Are you watering this shit down? 1449 01:05:10,227 --> 01:05:14,298 Uh, wait. So, you're a writer? 1450 01:05:14,331 --> 01:05:15,432 A great writer. 1451 01:05:15,465 --> 01:05:17,067 I am sorry, can I take that again? 1452 01:05:17,434 --> 01:05:20,437 A great writer. A great writer. Great writer. 1453 01:05:21,171 --> 01:05:23,540 - [Billy] Really, really, great... - Oh, yeah? 1454 01:05:23,574 --> 01:05:24,676 Well, what did you write? 1455 01:05:25,409 --> 01:05:27,411 The Dead Doth Trot the Hills at Night. 1456 01:05:27,444 --> 01:05:29,413 Oh, my God, I love that movie. 1457 01:05:29,446 --> 01:05:30,848 Is... Is that a real movie? 1458 01:05:30,882 --> 01:05:31,849 It's a great movie. 1459 01:05:31,883 --> 01:05:33,017 So, you wrote that? 1460 01:05:33,051 --> 01:05:35,185 Truly one of the most talented of all the writers ever. 1461 01:05:35,218 --> 01:05:38,088 - Okay, that's enough. - Yes, he did. 1462 01:05:38,555 --> 01:05:39,857 I was in it. 1463 01:05:39,891 --> 01:05:41,059 That is how we met. 1464 01:05:41,091 --> 01:05:44,461 Wow, I didn't realize I'd be auditioning for such talent. 1465 01:05:44,494 --> 01:05:47,297 Uh, Trina stares adoringly at her idol. 1466 01:05:47,665 --> 01:05:50,601 - Hey, Lisa. - Yeah? 1467 01:05:50,634 --> 01:05:53,470 Uh, tell me more about your experience in that movie. 1468 01:05:53,503 --> 01:05:55,907 Were you in any big dramatic scenes? 1469 01:05:55,940 --> 01:06:00,912 Do you remember the sequence at the pharmacy at the climax of act two? 1470 01:06:00,945 --> 01:06:03,347 Oh, my God! Yes, I love that part. 1471 01:06:03,380 --> 01:06:04,481 That was me. 1472 01:06:04,514 --> 01:06:06,450 Brett interjects with a show of support. 1473 01:06:06,483 --> 01:06:08,418 Sarah, you should see that movie. 1474 01:06:08,452 --> 01:06:09,620 Why should I? 1475 01:06:09,654 --> 01:06:12,389 Is the anecdote in stock? 1476 01:06:12,422 --> 01:06:14,926 - Oh, great! - So much tension. 1477 01:06:14,959 --> 01:06:20,263 So, we rush inside then the posse appears, they chase us 1478 01:06:20,297 --> 01:06:23,634 and they begin blasting away, boom, boom, boom, boom. 1479 01:06:23,668 --> 01:06:26,503 And then, I take my stance. 1480 01:06:26,536 --> 01:06:28,372 My shirt is bloody. 1481 01:06:28,405 --> 01:06:30,474 I rip it open. 1482 01:06:30,942 --> 01:06:35,345 Huh. Do we not share a human community? 1483 01:06:35,379 --> 01:06:38,515 [panting] 1484 01:06:38,548 --> 01:06:40,450 Um, you actually wrote that? 1485 01:06:40,484 --> 01:06:43,721 A common humanity. 1486 01:06:43,755 --> 01:06:46,523 And then the priest blows her head off with the rocket launcher, like, boom. 1487 01:06:46,556 --> 01:06:47,524 [laughter] 1488 01:06:47,557 --> 01:06:49,593 Okay, everybody, stop laughing. 1489 01:06:49,626 --> 01:06:50,662 It's okay, Brett. 1490 01:06:50,695 --> 01:06:53,463 Well, it's not okay. Doth Trot is a great script. 1491 01:06:53,497 --> 01:06:54,732 [Lisa] Yeah, it is a great script. 1492 01:06:54,766 --> 01:06:56,166 - [Jack] No, it's a horrible script. - [Lisa] Great script. 1493 01:06:56,199 --> 01:06:59,704 - [Brett] - Great script. - Yeah, let's just admit that it was total shit. 1494 01:06:59,737 --> 01:07:02,606 I'm a little unclear. Is my character an idiot? 1495 01:07:02,639 --> 01:07:04,709 - Yes, he is. - No, he's not. - Yes, I am. 1496 01:07:04,742 --> 01:07:06,543 I don't like watching movies. 1497 01:07:06,576 --> 01:07:08,746 - Okay, because you're such an adult. - Yeah. 1498 01:07:08,780 --> 01:07:10,948 Oh, a big fancy office, you dry clean your clothes. 1499 01:07:10,982 --> 01:07:12,549 - Brett... - [Brett] Well, you know what? 1500 01:07:12,582 --> 01:07:14,152 I would dry clean my clothes, too, 1501 01:07:14,184 --> 01:07:18,756 but I happen to be concerned about a little something called the environment. 1502 01:07:18,790 --> 01:07:20,357 Look at me, Sarah. 1503 01:07:20,390 --> 01:07:21,591 Look at me, googly eyes. 1504 01:07:21,625 --> 01:07:23,627 - Just... Look at me! - Oh, my God! Oh! Oh! 1505 01:07:23,661 --> 01:07:25,997 - What happened to us? - [Billy] Oh, God! 1506 01:07:26,030 --> 01:07:28,966 - What happened to us, Sarah! - Let's stop. 1507 01:07:29,000 --> 01:07:32,469 Yeah, man, this play sucks dick. 1508 01:07:32,502 --> 01:07:34,005 No, no, Jack. 1509 01:07:34,038 --> 01:07:37,775 We cannot let it end like this. Are you kidding? 1510 01:07:39,609 --> 01:07:41,611 [thumping] 1511 01:07:42,612 --> 01:07:43,513 It's over. 1512 01:07:45,683 --> 01:07:47,752 No, it's not. It's not over. 1513 01:07:50,655 --> 01:07:51,588 [gasps] 1514 01:07:51,621 --> 01:07:53,290 Actor Jack, come on. 1515 01:07:53,725 --> 01:07:57,327 Well, we're not here to talk about me, this is Lisa's night, 1516 01:07:57,360 --> 01:07:58,796 - we're here to talk about Lisa. - Yeah, I'll talk to you. 1517 01:07:58,830 --> 01:08:01,565 [Billy] Sarah and I really enjoyed your wonderful performance, Lisa. 1518 01:08:01,598 --> 01:08:02,667 - I'll talk to you later, babe. - [Billy] Right, Sarah? 1519 01:08:02,700 --> 01:08:04,202 I loved it. 1520 01:08:04,234 --> 01:08:10,507 Uh, Jack... Jack lifts the glass to toast Lisa with effortless eloquence. 1521 01:08:11,408 --> 01:08:12,910 [sighs] 1522 01:08:12,944 --> 01:08:17,547 She walks in beauty like the night of cloudless climes and starry skies 1523 01:08:17,581 --> 01:08:23,520 And all that's best of dark and bright, meet in her aspect and her eyes. 1524 01:08:24,321 --> 01:08:26,623 [groans] Oh, are we serious? 1525 01:08:26,657 --> 01:08:30,293 I was surprised myself, but Sarah remembered it verbatim. 1526 01:08:30,327 --> 01:08:33,597 [D-Money] More than that, Jack. Lisa, you were the bomb. 1527 01:08:33,630 --> 01:08:35,465 Jack underselling your shit. 1528 01:08:35,499 --> 01:08:37,702 - Yeah, well, thank you, Paul. - Uh. 1529 01:08:37,735 --> 01:08:40,805 - Yeah, there's some definite heat going on right now. - I know. 1530 01:08:41,571 --> 01:08:42,372 [D-Money] Heat right here too, baby. 1531 01:08:43,573 --> 01:08:45,743 So how did you and Trina meet, Paul? 1532 01:08:45,777 --> 01:08:50,715 At a gym because what I care about most in my life is my abs and my glutes. 1533 01:08:50,748 --> 01:08:52,382 - [laughs] - Okay, I never said that. 1534 01:08:52,415 --> 01:08:53,517 I'm not a writer. 1535 01:08:53,550 --> 01:08:55,418 [whimpers] 1536 01:08:56,087 --> 01:08:57,255 I'm a joke. 1537 01:08:57,287 --> 01:09:01,092 Everybody flirts, everybody wants to bone all the time. 1538 01:09:01,125 --> 01:09:02,894 Okay, wait, is that like sort of the message of this play? 1539 01:09:02,927 --> 01:09:06,764 Because I'm just feeling like my character really wants to connect with the kid over here. 1540 01:09:06,798 --> 01:09:09,066 - [Actor Lisa] Oh, you felt that, too? - [Myke] Yeah, 100%. 1541 01:09:09,100 --> 01:09:10,768 I knew it, it's obvious. 1542 01:09:10,802 --> 01:09:12,804 - I should kick your ass. - [Brett] I'm standing right here. 1543 01:09:12,837 --> 01:09:14,504 - You a dick, Brett. - I have a dick, Paul. 1544 01:09:14,538 --> 01:09:16,606 Hey, hey, listen, we all have dicks alright. 1545 01:09:16,640 --> 01:09:19,844 Paul, you just shush your mouth. 1546 01:09:20,477 --> 01:09:22,412 And Brett, here, have a bit of shush. 1547 01:09:22,445 --> 01:09:23,681 [Trina] There you go. 1548 01:09:23,714 --> 01:09:25,716 - You like that, don't you? - Mm-hm. 1549 01:09:25,750 --> 01:09:27,819 - Give it a rest, Paul. - [Brett] Alright, Paul. 1550 01:09:27,852 --> 01:09:29,086 - [Paul] Alright, Brett. - [Brett] Alright, Paul. 1551 01:09:29,120 --> 01:09:30,121 - Alright, Brett. - [Brett] Paul. 1552 01:09:30,154 --> 01:09:31,823 - [Myke] Wait, okay. I'm sorry. - Alright, Paul. 1553 01:09:31,856 --> 01:09:35,760 Actor Trina begins to dance seductively. 1554 01:09:35,793 --> 01:09:38,395 - Oh, you gotta be fucking kidding me. - I'll... I'll dance. 1555 01:09:38,428 --> 01:09:39,797 [laughs] 1556 01:09:39,831 --> 01:09:41,699 You should've learned a trade, Jack. 1557 01:09:42,599 --> 01:09:45,368 - [whimpers] - Hey, hold on a damn minute. 1558 01:09:45,736 --> 01:09:46,938 Is there something I should know here? 1559 01:09:47,705 --> 01:09:49,707 I didn't do anything wrong. 1560 01:09:49,740 --> 01:09:52,310 Yeah, right. What about the date? 1561 01:09:53,744 --> 01:09:54,745 What? 1562 01:09:56,881 --> 01:09:59,116 Be honest, Lisa. 1563 01:09:59,150 --> 01:10:00,550 Um... 1564 01:10:03,888 --> 01:10:07,692 Yes, Paul and I went out once. 1565 01:10:08,458 --> 01:10:09,593 [Myke] Oh, yeah. I saw that coming. 1566 01:10:09,626 --> 01:10:10,895 - [Billy] Yeah, that's not bad. - It wouldn't be obviously. 1567 01:10:10,928 --> 01:10:11,929 I got that. 1568 01:10:11,963 --> 01:10:13,731 - I mean, the energy... - I didn't see that coming. 1569 01:10:14,598 --> 01:10:16,167 Everything's over. It's over. 1570 01:10:16,200 --> 01:10:17,400 No. No. 1571 01:10:17,434 --> 01:10:20,171 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 1572 01:10:20,204 --> 01:10:21,873 No. No. 1573 01:10:21,906 --> 01:10:27,912 No, it is not over because it was one time, a long time ago and nothing happened. 1574 01:10:28,813 --> 01:10:30,147 Why didn't you tell me? 1575 01:10:30,181 --> 01:10:32,449 I didn't tell you because I didn't want to argue about nothing. 1576 01:10:32,482 --> 01:10:33,918 - Nothing? - Nothing. 1577 01:10:34,819 --> 01:10:40,791 Nothing happened because honestly, no offense, Paul, 1578 01:10:42,193 --> 01:10:43,928 - but I found Paul to be so... - [door thuds] 1579 01:10:44,929 --> 01:10:46,297 - Oh, fuck! - A sock puppet? 1580 01:10:46,330 --> 01:10:48,833 - Is this a part of the play? - Sock puppets are cute. You're cute. 1581 01:10:48,866 --> 01:10:51,601 - A sock puppet? - Did you run here? 1582 01:10:51,635 --> 01:10:53,470 - Damn! - Get off the sofa. 1583 01:10:53,503 --> 01:10:54,705 [Brett] You know we're not gonna hurt each other tonight. 1584 01:10:55,873 --> 01:10:58,508 - [shouts] - Get him. Get him. 1585 01:10:59,777 --> 01:11:00,978 Kick his ass. 1586 01:11:01,012 --> 01:11:02,914 Hey, hey. Okay. 1587 01:11:02,947 --> 01:11:04,581 They're crazy. 1588 01:11:04,614 --> 01:11:07,550 Paul, you're telling me nothing happened? 1589 01:11:07,919 --> 01:11:10,955 [mumbling] 1590 01:11:10,988 --> 01:11:12,189 Come on, I know you're unhappy. 1591 01:11:12,223 --> 01:11:13,824 Unhappy? [chuckles] 1592 01:11:13,858 --> 01:11:14,992 I'm not unhappy. 1593 01:11:15,026 --> 01:11:16,827 - Ah! - Quit your job. 1594 01:11:16,861 --> 01:11:18,896 - Quit my job? - Yeah. 1595 01:11:18,930 --> 01:11:22,532 - That's easy for you to say. I'm not you. - Okay, okay. 1596 01:11:22,565 --> 01:11:26,837 To be honest with you, I usually prefer a little bit more, uh, uptown. 1597 01:11:26,871 --> 01:11:28,839 - [groans] - Strike me down, Constanze. 1598 01:11:28,873 --> 01:11:31,541 - No. - I'm cutting all the Constanze-banza stuff, okay? 1599 01:11:31,574 --> 01:11:32,810 Hey, we could do it. Okay? We'll make it work. 1600 01:11:32,843 --> 01:11:33,945 We'll sell the house. We'll sell the cars. 1601 01:11:33,978 --> 01:11:35,212 We'll leave this industry entirely. 1602 01:11:35,246 --> 01:11:36,613 - What? - Yes. 1603 01:11:36,646 --> 01:11:37,682 And you know what else? 1604 01:11:37,715 --> 01:11:39,850 [panting] 1605 01:11:39,884 --> 01:11:42,853 Let's have a family, yeah. 1606 01:11:42,887 --> 01:11:43,955 Brett? 1607 01:11:45,588 --> 01:11:46,724 Don't you want two hummingbirds? 1608 01:11:47,590 --> 01:11:48,893 I can't just quit. 1609 01:11:49,626 --> 01:11:50,695 Numnum wants to. 1610 01:11:55,598 --> 01:11:56,901 Let's get naked and make a baby right away. 1611 01:11:58,736 --> 01:12:01,005 - Oh! - God! 1612 01:12:01,038 --> 01:12:03,007 - Oh, watch it, man. - Yeah, fuck. Yeah, fuck, yeah. 1613 01:12:03,640 --> 01:12:05,743 Okay, what's really going on here? 1614 01:12:05,776 --> 01:12:10,513 Is this some sort of weird gross like casting couch orgy or something? 1615 01:12:10,547 --> 01:12:12,950 I'm all for it, but everyone needs to know I have herpes. 1616 01:12:14,018 --> 01:12:15,052 Oh, she's really going for it. 1617 01:12:15,086 --> 01:12:17,054 Alright. We are so sorry, everyone. 1618 01:12:17,088 --> 01:12:19,724 - [sighs] - We had an argument. 1619 01:12:19,757 --> 01:12:21,892 And we are... [chuckles] 1620 01:12:22,625 --> 01:12:25,595 ...trying to work through some emotions. 1621 01:12:25,628 --> 01:12:26,964 So that's why we're here. 1622 01:12:26,998 --> 01:12:28,032 Who's your daddy? 1623 01:12:28,065 --> 01:12:29,266 Oh, yeah. 1624 01:12:29,300 --> 01:12:30,701 [growling] 1625 01:12:30,735 --> 01:12:32,770 Bottom of page 27, everybody with me. 1626 01:12:32,803 --> 01:12:35,973 What a bunch of crypto-fascist patriarchal dick-measuring. 1627 01:12:36,007 --> 01:12:38,042 - Why am I even here? - To help me get an agent, Paul. 1628 01:12:38,075 --> 01:12:40,678 Yeah, I know I agreed to help, but it's not gonna happen with Brett. 1629 01:12:40,711 --> 01:12:42,713 You know, I've hit a real skit lately. Oh. 1630 01:12:42,747 --> 01:12:44,682 You mean you can't help me find an agent? 1631 01:12:44,715 --> 01:12:46,649 This is a really tough time in the industry right now. 1632 01:12:46,684 --> 01:12:47,584 [moaning] 1633 01:12:47,952 --> 01:12:50,087 - Brett! - I need a drink. 1634 01:12:50,121 --> 01:12:54,725 - Trina, no more drinking. - Okay, I'm so sorry, everyone. You may go. 1635 01:12:54,759 --> 01:12:56,660 You take that back, we're not done. 1636 01:12:56,694 --> 01:12:59,797 Dude, it's over. It's a failure. Goodbye. 1637 01:12:59,830 --> 01:13:02,599 Oh, my God! I cannot believe I traveled all the way across town 1638 01:13:02,632 --> 01:13:05,870 - to play Sambo in this insipid tripe. - Jack. 1639 01:13:05,903 --> 01:13:09,572 I played Othello, at the National Theatre and a regional tour 1640 01:13:09,606 --> 01:13:11,876 and a limited Broadway run for fuck's sake. 1641 01:13:11,909 --> 01:13:13,044 What the fuck, Jack? 1642 01:13:13,077 --> 01:13:14,311 What do you want from me? Now he's not black enough? 1643 01:13:14,345 --> 01:13:17,748 Is it... Is it not too much to ask, you know, for a sliver... 1644 01:13:17,782 --> 01:13:19,784 Actually no, like a modicum of professionalism 1645 01:13:19,817 --> 01:13:21,986 even when playing a one-dimensional creep? 1646 01:13:22,019 --> 01:13:23,654 One-dimensional? 1647 01:13:24,021 --> 01:13:25,056 Okay. 1648 01:13:25,089 --> 01:13:27,658 Well, does this look one-dimensional to you, bro? 1649 01:13:27,691 --> 01:13:28,993 Three-percent body fat. 1650 01:13:29,026 --> 01:13:30,694 So, he gets to take his shirt off. 1651 01:13:34,365 --> 01:13:39,870 Thou art like one of those fellows that when we walks to the confines of a tavern, 1652 01:13:39,904 --> 01:13:46,077 claps me his sword upon the table and says, "God send me no need of thee!" 1653 01:13:46,977 --> 01:13:52,716 and by the operation of the second cup, draws it upon the drawer, 1654 01:13:53,384 --> 01:13:58,656 when, indeed, there is no need. 1655 01:14:00,091 --> 01:14:02,059 Take me with you. 1656 01:14:02,093 --> 01:14:03,861 [moaning] 1657 01:14:03,894 --> 01:14:06,030 I thought I would die here, but I'm free. 1658 01:14:06,964 --> 01:14:08,732 I'm finally free. 1659 01:14:08,766 --> 01:14:13,137 [clapping] 1660 01:14:13,170 --> 01:14:14,872 [laughs] 1661 01:14:14,905 --> 01:14:17,007 [Brett] Woo! What a ride, what a journey, what an arc. 1662 01:14:17,808 --> 01:14:18,709 [sighs] 1663 01:14:20,845 --> 01:14:22,046 I'll miss you the most, scarecrow. 1664 01:14:22,079 --> 01:14:22,980 Okay. 1665 01:14:23,714 --> 01:14:24,614 We're gonna go have sex. 1666 01:14:27,017 --> 01:14:27,918 Call me. 1667 01:14:29,186 --> 01:14:31,989 I'm just gonna leave a couple of headshots, you never know. 1668 01:14:32,022 --> 01:14:34,725 Hey, uh, looks like you got your body fat index under control. 1669 01:14:34,758 --> 01:14:36,727 - Oh, you think so? - [Paul] Oh, yeah. 1670 01:14:37,728 --> 01:14:40,731 My folks are gonna be really disappointed, this isn't a real play, so... 1671 01:14:40,764 --> 01:14:42,099 - Oh. - Oh, buddy. 1672 01:14:42,133 --> 01:14:44,168 Hey, kid, you keep it. 1673 01:14:44,869 --> 01:14:46,704 Gee! Thanks, guys. 1674 01:14:46,737 --> 01:14:48,172 [chuckles] You earned it. 1675 01:14:48,205 --> 01:14:49,907 - [camera shutter clicks] - Sweet. 1676 01:14:51,775 --> 01:14:54,411 I'm like definitely blogging about this. 1677 01:14:54,445 --> 01:14:55,246 God! 1678 01:14:55,279 --> 01:14:58,782 Wait, where are you amateurs going? 1679 01:14:58,816 --> 01:14:59,950 The play is not over. 1680 01:15:00,751 --> 01:15:02,153 - What? - What the fuck? 1681 01:15:02,186 --> 01:15:04,889 Lisa bottom of page 27. 1682 01:15:04,922 --> 01:15:07,758 Beep, beep, beep. The stove timer goes off in the kitchen. 1683 01:15:08,926 --> 01:15:11,695 I'm just gonna, ah... 1684 01:15:11,729 --> 01:15:13,797 - Where are you going? - [Walter] The show must go on. 1685 01:15:13,831 --> 01:15:14,832 [Jack] Oh, Christ. 1686 01:15:16,967 --> 01:15:18,969 Okay, what are you doing? 1687 01:15:19,003 --> 01:15:20,771 - I'm gonna finish this play. - Put... Put it down. 1688 01:15:20,804 --> 01:15:22,973 - Let go of me. - Okay, it's over, it's over. 1689 01:15:23,007 --> 01:15:24,441 - I made a pie. - Stop it. 1690 01:15:24,475 --> 01:15:26,143 I made a pie. 1691 01:15:26,177 --> 01:15:27,444 Stop fucking acting. 1692 01:15:27,478 --> 01:15:28,212 [groans] 1693 01:15:28,879 --> 01:15:32,950 [panting] 1694 01:15:39,823 --> 01:15:40,824 I made a pie. 1695 01:15:42,226 --> 01:15:43,827 Yeah, I can't eat that. 1696 01:15:45,095 --> 01:15:46,096 [sniffles] 1697 01:15:48,098 --> 01:15:49,733 - [groans] - [crowd gasp] 1698 01:15:50,100 --> 01:15:53,938 [groaning, panting] 1699 01:15:53,971 --> 01:15:55,039 [Lisa] Are we done now? 1700 01:15:55,072 --> 01:15:57,841 I don't even remember what we were arguing about. 1701 01:15:59,843 --> 01:16:02,146 About whether something I said was a bad joke. 1702 01:16:02,913 --> 01:16:06,250 About whether someone asked me on a date years ago. 1703 01:16:07,318 --> 01:16:09,820 What does it matter? 1704 01:16:10,854 --> 01:16:16,093 - [Walter] It doesn't matter. - Then why, why are we here? 1705 01:16:18,996 --> 01:16:20,831 I don't want to be Salieri. 1706 01:16:21,999 --> 01:16:26,270 [both] I want to be Mozart, at least to you. 1707 01:16:29,173 --> 01:16:34,144 But you are, Jack, and you always have been. 1708 01:16:36,080 --> 01:16:38,082 [breathes heavily] 1709 01:16:38,115 --> 01:16:40,985 [somber music playing] 1710 01:16:43,854 --> 01:16:44,888 I made a pie. 1711 01:16:50,227 --> 01:16:51,195 [chuckles] 1712 01:17:00,037 --> 01:17:03,574 [applause] 1713 01:17:03,607 --> 01:17:05,276 - [sighs] - This is hot, Jack. 1714 01:17:06,143 --> 01:17:07,044 We're cooking it. 1715 01:17:10,047 --> 01:17:12,916 [vocalizing] 1716 01:17:15,286 --> 01:17:16,320 [Walter] I'm sorry, Lisa. 1717 01:17:18,188 --> 01:17:19,356 I'm sorry, too. 1718 01:17:19,390 --> 01:17:21,091 [Walter] One more thing. 1719 01:17:23,961 --> 01:17:24,995 What are you doing? 1720 01:17:25,029 --> 01:17:28,966 - Just one second. Where did I hide it? - Jack. 1721 01:17:30,267 --> 01:17:31,168 [clinks] 1722 01:17:38,175 --> 01:17:39,076 [gasps] 1723 01:17:39,376 --> 01:17:42,079 [giggles] 1724 01:17:42,112 --> 01:17:47,351 [applause] 1725 01:17:55,626 --> 01:17:56,960 Woo! Hey, Jack! 1726 01:18:00,898 --> 01:18:03,901 [mellow music playing] 1727 01:18:37,549 --> 01:18:42,549 Subtitles by explosiveskull www.OpenSubtitles.org 1728 01:19:08,432 --> 01:19:11,435 [upbeat music playing] 1729 01:19:16,039 --> 01:19:20,077 ♪ It's just another argument ♪ 1730 01:19:20,110 --> 01:19:23,681 ♪ Right or wrong Why can't we get along ♪ 1731 01:19:23,715 --> 01:19:27,217 ♪ And what's with all This bickering ♪ 1732 01:19:27,251 --> 01:19:29,019 ♪ No one ever wins ♪ 1733 01:19:29,052 --> 01:19:32,322 ♪ Where do we begin ♪ 1734 01:19:34,124 --> 01:19:37,695 ♪ Are we meant to be ♪ 1735 01:19:37,729 --> 01:19:42,132 ♪ Or just meant to be ♪ 1736 01:19:42,166 --> 01:19:45,102 ♪ The argument ♪ 1737 01:19:45,135 --> 01:19:48,238 ♪ Oh-oh-oh ♪ 1738 01:19:49,339 --> 01:19:52,376 ♪ The argument ♪ 1739 01:19:52,409 --> 01:19:55,512 ♪ Oh-oh-oh ♪ 1740 01:19:57,080 --> 01:20:00,417 ♪ It's just a misunderstanding ♪ 1741 01:20:00,451 --> 01:20:02,319 ♪ Can we take it back ♪ 1742 01:20:02,352 --> 01:20:04,354 ♪ Call off the attack ♪ 1743 01:20:04,388 --> 01:20:08,091 ♪ And what if we redo it all ♪ 1744 01:20:08,125 --> 01:20:09,727 ♪ Would it happen again ♪ 1745 01:20:09,761 --> 01:20:12,162 ♪ Maybe never end ♪ 1746 01:20:13,197 --> 01:20:16,233 ♪ Are we meant to be ♪ 1747 01:20:17,034 --> 01:20:21,104 ♪ Or just meant to be ♪ 1748 01:20:21,138 --> 01:20:24,007 ♪ The argument ♪ 1749 01:20:28,780 --> 01:20:35,586 ♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh ♪ 1750 01:20:36,186 --> 01:20:39,356 ♪ That wasn't me ♪ 1751 01:20:39,389 --> 01:20:43,560 ♪ That was someone That I used to be ♪ 1752 01:20:43,594 --> 01:20:49,299 ♪ All I want is to love you ♪ 1753 01:20:49,333 --> 01:20:53,303 ♪ Endlessly ♪ 1754 01:20:53,337 --> 01:20:57,441 ♪ Ah-ah ♪ 1755 01:21:07,819 --> 01:21:11,221 ♪ It's just a stupid argument ♪ 1756 01:21:11,255 --> 01:21:15,225 ♪ If we could see ourselves Maybe we could tell ♪ 1757 01:21:15,259 --> 01:21:18,495 ♪ We're both Both right and wrong ♪ 1758 01:21:18,529 --> 01:21:22,566 ♪ So just kiss me now Let's take a bow ♪ 1759 01:21:23,467 --> 01:21:27,538 ♪ Are we meant to be ♪ 1760 01:21:27,571 --> 01:21:31,542 ♪ Really meant to see ♪ 1761 01:21:31,575 --> 01:21:34,578 ♪ This argument ♪ 1762 01:21:34,611 --> 01:21:38,415 ♪ Oh-oh-oh ♪ 134671