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DETERMINE IF, UM, CONGRESS
SHALL CUT FUNDING FOR THE
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00:00:06,766 --> 00:00:09,765
PUBIC BROADCA- WHAT IS THIS? "PUBLIC."
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PUBLIC BROADCASTING SYSTEM,
PBS, CURRENTLY AT $20 MILLION A YEAR.
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OKAY, ROGERS. IT'S YOUR FLOOR.
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>> SENATOR PASTORE, I'M THE
HOST OF A TELEVISION PROGRAM ON PBS
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CALLED - >> "MISTER ROGERS'
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NEIGHBORHOOD."
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YES, WE ALL ARE AWARE.
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>> COULD I TELL YOU THE WORDS
OF ONE OF THE SONGS ON OUR PROGRAM
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THAT I FEEL IS VERY IMPORTANT?
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00:00:29,766 --> 00:00:30,765
>> SURE. WHY NOT?
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>> IT'S YOU I LIKE BECAUSE
YOUR BACK IS HAIRY LIKE A BEAR.
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IT'S YOU I LIKE, NOT YOUR
FAT BOOTY BOTTOM THAT BARELY FITS
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THE CHAIR - NOT YOUR MAN BOOBS
OR YOUR OBVIOUSLY FAKE HAIR.
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I MAKE NO JUDGMENTS ABOUT HOW
UGLY YOU ARE AND TELL YOU I LIKE
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YOU JUST THE WAY YOU ARE.
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>> MISTER ROGERS, I THINK - >> WAIT, SENATOR.
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I HAVEN'T EVEN GOTTEN TO
YOUR FLACCID LITTLE DING-DONG AND
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YOUR ELEPHANTITIS OF THE NUTS.
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OR WOULD YOU RATHER JUST
GIVE ME MY HUSH MONEY NOW?
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[ LAUGHTER ] >> LOOKS LIKE YOU JUST EARNED
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YOUR $20 MILLION.
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[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> MISTER ROGERS, PUT IT HERE,
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BABY!
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CONGRATULATIONS!
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ALL OF US AT PBS KNEW YOU COULD DO IT.
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>> OH, I'M JUST PLEASED FOR
ALL THE CHILDREN WE'LL BE ABLE TO
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CARE FOR OVER THE NEXT FEW YEARS.
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>> YEAH, YEAH.
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DON'T WORRY, ROGERS.
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TRUST ME - THIS $20 MILLION
IS GONNA LAST A LONG, LONG TIME.
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[ CHEERS AND LAUGHTER ] >> GUESS WHAT, GUYS -
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THIS $20 MILLION DIDN'T LAST LONG AT ALL!
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>> REALLY? ALL I DID WAS
BUY THIS OPULENT MANSION, IMPORT
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THIS COKE FROM COLOMBIA, AND
THROW A FEW PARTIES WITH BITCHES
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AND MONEY BONFIRES!
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>> WHOO! BURNIN' MONEY!
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>> YEAH, AND THIS IS THE
CHEAPEST LUXURY SUBMARINE THEY
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HAD!
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[ LAUGHS ] CAN'T SAY THE SAME FOR THE HOES,
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THOUGH!
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QUALITY HOES ARE EXPENSIVE.
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>> HEY, WHAT ARE WE GONNA
TELL THAT GUY MISTER ROGERS?
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>> OH, OH! I KNOW!
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[ BUZZING ] FUCK HIM, THAT'S WHAT!
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>> HEY, QUIT HOGGING THE TITTY COCAINE!
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[ LAUGHS ] >> ♪ DYNAMITE! DYNAMITE
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>> ♪ HE'S DYNAMITE ♪ SO DYNAMITE
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♪ OOOHHH, OOOHHH ♪ OOOHHH
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♪ AHHHH ♪ HE'S DYNAMITE
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♪ DY-NO, DY-NO ♪ OOOHHH, OOOHHH
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♪ OOOOHHHH ♪ DYNAMITE! DYNAMITE!
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>> THIS WEEK...
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>> Cream Corn: OOH, YEAH, GIRL.
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THAT'S HOW I LIKE IT.
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RUB A LITTLE HARDER, YOU'LL GET SOME MILK.
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>> Honey Bee: CREAM CORN!
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BRING YOUR LITTLE ASS OVER HERE
AND STOP PLAYING WITH YOURSELF.
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NASTY ASS.
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[ STATIC ] >> Bullhorn: MAN, THIS ANTENNA
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BEEN A HEMORRHOID IN MY ASS NIPPLES ALL DAY.
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AND THIS RAGGEDY OLD MOTHERFUCKA BETTER NOT BE
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SHRINKIN' MY DICK WITH ALL THESE MICROWAVES!
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>> BULLHORN, "MISTER ROGERS" IS GONNA START!
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WE'RE GONNA MISS IT!
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YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO FIX NOTHING.
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>> Bullhorn: BITCH!
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I'M ADJUSTING THESE RABBIT
EARS AS BEST AS I'M ABLE!
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BUT I DON'T KNOW WHY THE FUCK
WE DON'T JUST BREAK DOWN AND GET
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SOME GODDAMN CABLE!
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>> All: YAY!
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>> Honey Bee: BULLHORN!
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COME HERE! COME HERE!
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>> Bullhorn: ORPHEENS, DON'T GO NO PLACE.
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KEEP YOUR ASS SITTIN' TIGHT.
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BULLHORN WILL BE BACK FASTER
THAN YOU CAN SAY, "DOLEMITE"!
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>> Black Dynamite: HEY, Y'ALL.
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I KNOW THIS IS SHORT NOTICE,
BUT I NEED YOUR HELP TO THROW A
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SURPRISE BIRTHDAY PARTY TODAY.
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>> Cream Corn: A SURPRISE PARTY FOR ME?!
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>> Honey Bee: SHHH!
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SHUT - SHHH!
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>> Black Dynamite: FOR THE ORPHANS.
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WE NEVER CELEBRATE THEIR
BIRTHDAYS ANYWAY, MOSTLY BECAUSE
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THERE'S 30 OF THEM AND I CAN'T REMEMBER ALL THOSE
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GODDAMN DATES.
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BESIDES, WE DON'T KNOW WHEN
HALF THEIR BIRTHDAYS ARE ANYWAY.
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SO TODAY IS GONNA BE THE
DAY WE CELEBRATE ALL OF THEM.
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>> Honey Bee: OKAY, LOOK,
I THINK THAT IF YOU TWO GO OUT -
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>> BULLHORN, WHERE YOU AT?
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WE SAID, "DOLEMITE" LIKE 50 TIMES ALREADY!
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>> Bullhorn: ORPHEEN, YOU
AIN'T SITTIN' WHERE I TOLD YOU TO
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STAY!
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CAN'T YOU SEE WE TRYIN'
TO INCONSPICUOUSLY PLAN YOUR
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MOTHERFUCKIN BIRTHDA- >> Honey Bee: DEFECTS!
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YEAH, WE'RE TALKIN' 'BOUT YOUR BIRTH DEFECTS!
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> BUT "DEFECTS" DON'T RHYME WITH -
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>> Honey Bee: HUSH, BOY, AND
GO SIT YOUR LITTLE SMART ASS DOWN!
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>> [ SIGHS ] >> Black Dynamite: OKAY.
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00:04:03,766 --> 00:04:05,765
SO, WE GOT TO GET THIS WHOREPHANAGE READY FOR A
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00:04:05,766 --> 00:04:06,765
SURPRISE BIRTHDAY PARTY
THAT THESE ORPHANS WILL BE
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SURPRISED BY.
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>> Honey Bee: AND HOW THE HELL WE GONNA DO THAT?
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YOU SEE HOW NOSY THESE LITTLE MOTHERFUCKERS ARE.
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>> AAAH!
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>> Cream Corn: OOH, I KNOW!
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WE TAKE THE KIDS TO SEE THE "MISTER ROGERS" SHOW.
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THEY SEEM TO LOVE THAT LEARNING SHIT
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>> Black Dynamite: FINE.
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NOW WHAT PRESENTS WE GOT?
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>> Honey Bee: OKAY, LOOK.
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I GOT THIS CUTE LITTLE MY MOMMY DOLL FROM THE -
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>> Black Dynamite: WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?
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IF WE GIVE THAT MOMMY DOLL
TO THE ORPHANS, ALL IT'S GONNA DO
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IS REMIND THEM THAT THEY AIN'T
GOT NO MOMMIES, AND IT'LL BREAK
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THEIR LITTLE PARENTLESS HEARTS.
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>> Bullhorn: SO WE GOT TO
FIND NEW GIFTS AT FULL PRICE OR ON
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CLEARANCE THAT DON'T REMIND
THEM ORPHEENS THAT THEY AIN'T GOT NO
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PARENTS!
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>> Cream Corn: OKAY, LOOK
- I DON'T KNOW 'BOUT Y'ALL, BUT I'M
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READY TO COME OUT OF THE CLOSET.
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>> Honey Bee: HMPH.
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IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME.
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>> ♪ DYNAMITE! DYNAMITE
[ SOFT PIANO MUSIC PLAYING ]
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[ SOFT PIANO MUSIC PLAYING ]
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[ TROLLEY DINGS ] >> LOOK - IT'S
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SPEEDY DELIVERYMAN MR. McFEELY.
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WHAT YOU GOT FOR US TODAY, MR. McFEELY?
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>> HEY, MISTER ROGERS!
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TODAY I GOT YOU THIS PIANO!
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>> A PIANO? WOW!
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LOOKS LIKE THAT CONGRESS
MONEY IS STARTING TO PAY OFF.
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BOYS AND GIRLS, LET ME
SHOW YOU HOW I HIT THE G-SPOT -
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I MEAN, NOTE.
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YOU JUST PRESS THESE KEYS,
AND EACH ONE MAKES A DIFFERENT
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SOUND.
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>> YAY! YAY!
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>> Black Dynamite: NOW, THIS
IS AN ENVIRONMENT I CAN SAFELY SAY
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THE ORPHANS WILL BE SAFE IN.
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NOW'S OUR CHANCE TO SLIP
OUT AND GET THEIR PRESENTS.
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COME ON, Y'ALL.
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>> Honey Bee: BLACK DYNAMITE,
ARE YOU SURE YOU JUST WANT TO
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LEAVE THE ORPHANS LIKE THIS?
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>> Black Dynamite: LOOK AT 'EM.
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WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU
SEEN THEM THIS INTERESTED IN SOME
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SHIT YOU WERE SAYING?
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NOW, IF THERE IS A WHITE MAN
YOU CAN TRUST, IT'S A MISTER ROGERS
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WHITE MAN.
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[ SOFT PIANO MUSIC PLAYS ] [ NOTE PLINKS ]
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>> OH, WAIT.
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THIS ONE SOUNDS WRONG.
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A BROKEN PIANO STRING.
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SEE, NEIGHBORS?
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LIFE IS FULL OF PROBLEMS,
BUT YOU CAN FIX THEM YOURSELF BY
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PRETENDING THAT THEY'RE NOT PROBLEMS.
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LET'S PRETEND THIS BROKEN
PIANO STRING IS A MAGICAL GOLD WAND
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THAT CAN MAKE ALL YOUR PROBLEMS GO AWAY.
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[ CHILDREN CHEER AND LAUGH
] >> Black Dynamite: OKAY, GANG.
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LET'S NOT FUCK THIS UP,
'CAUSE I DON'T WANT TO BE BUYIN'
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BIRTHDAY PRESENTS FOR AT LEAST ANOTHER YEAR.
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>> Cream Corn: OOH, HERE'S A CUTE GOO-GOO BABY!
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I LOVE GOO-GOO BABIES!
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>> Black Dynamite: WE CAN'T
GET THEM THIS BABY DOLL 'CAUSE
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BABIES COME FROM MAMAS, AND
MAMAS IS EXACTLY WHAT WE DON'T
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WANT THEM THINKING OF.
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>> Bullhorn: ALL RIGHT.
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SURELY WE CAN'T GO WRONG
IF WE GET THESE ORPHEENS THIS
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STRETCH ARMSTRONG!
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>> Black Dynamite: I DON'T WANT
THEM WRAPPING SKRECH ARMS AROUND
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EACH OTHER 'CAUSE THEY'LL JUST
THINK OF THE HUGS THEY NO LONGER
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GET FROM THE PARENTS THEY NO LONGER HAVE.
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>> Honey Bee: OKAY. OOH!
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HOW ABOUT THIS LIGHT-UP SIMON SAYS MEMORY GAME?
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>> Black Dynamite: HONEY
BEE, THE LAST THING WE WANT THEM
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ORPHANS TO DO IS REMEMBER
SHIT LIKE THEIR PARENTS.
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>> Cream Corn: OKAY, HERE - A TOTALLY INNOCENT
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NON-PARENTAL-REMINDING LIONEL TRAIN SET!
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00:06:39,766 --> 00:06:41,765
>> Black Dynamite: I DON'T
WANT ORPHANS PUTTING THE TRAIN
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00:06:41,766 --> 00:06:42,765
IN THE TUNNEL!
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00:06:42,766 --> 00:06:43,765
>> Honey Bee: TRAINS IN THE TUNNEL?
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00:06:43,766 --> 00:06:44,765
WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ORPHANS?
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00:06:44,766 --> 00:06:46,765
>> Black Dynamite: YOU KNOW
- PUT THE TRAIN IN THE TUNNEL.
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00:06:46,766 --> 00:06:49,765
IT'S A EUPHEMISM, LIKE THE TRAIN
IS THE DICK, AND IT GOES IN THE
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TUNNEL.
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>> Cream Corn: WELL, THEN,
WHAT'S THE TUNNEL - MY ASSHOLE?
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>> Black Dynamite: OKAY, WHAT WE GOT LEFT?
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00:06:54,766 --> 00:06:57,765
>> Bullhorn: THERE AIN'T NOTHIN'
HERE I CAN FIND THAT AIN'T GONNA
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00:06:57,766 --> 00:07:00,765
REMIND THESE ORPHEENS OF PARENTS
AND A HAPPIER TIME, EXCEPT MAYBE
189
00:07:00,766 --> 00:07:02,765
THESE TOY GUNS, KNIVES, AND LAND MINES!
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00:07:02,766 --> 00:07:03,765
>> Black Dynamite: I DON'T KNOW.
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00:07:03,766 --> 00:07:05,765
MAYBE WE SHOULD GET' 'EM
NOTHIN', 'CAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY
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00:07:05,766 --> 00:07:07,765
THING I CAN THINK OF THAT
WON'T REMIND THEM OF SOMETHIN'.
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00:07:07,766 --> 00:07:10,765
[ BELL DINGS ] >> WE'RE BACK IN FIVE, FRED!
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00:07:10,766 --> 00:07:12,686
>> THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW THAT, ABE.
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00:07:12,687 --> 00:07:13,765
YOU'RE GREAT WITH NUMBERS.
196
00:07:13,766 --> 00:07:14,765
>> WHAT?
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00:07:14,766 --> 00:07:16,765
>> OH, HI, THERE, PUBLIC BROADCASTING FRIENDS.
198
00:07:16,766 --> 00:07:18,765
I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO
USE SOME OF THAT MONEY FROM THE
199
00:07:18,766 --> 00:07:20,765
GOVERNMENT TO GET SOME NEW EQUIPMENT AROUND HERE.
200
00:07:20,766 --> 00:07:21,846
>> MONEY? WHAT MONEY?
201
00:07:21,847 --> 00:07:23,765
OH, THAT MONEY IS ALL GONE.
202
00:07:23,766 --> 00:07:25,765
>> YOU SEE, YOUR SHOW JUST ISN'T PROFITABLE.
203
00:07:25,766 --> 00:07:27,765
>> NOT TO WORRY, THOUGH, FREDDY BABY!
204
00:07:27,766 --> 00:07:30,765
WE GOT A WHOLE STABLE
OF PRODUCT-ENDORSEMENT DEALS
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00:07:30,766 --> 00:07:32,765
THAT'LL SHOOT OUR BUDGET SKY-HIGH!
206
00:07:32,766 --> 00:07:35,765
>> WELL, I'VE GOT TO SAY I'VE
NEVER BEEN A FAN OF ENDORSING.
207
00:07:35,766 --> 00:07:37,765
>> HEY, KIDS ARE GONNA BEG
THEIR PARENTS FOR SUGARY BAD SHIT
208
00:07:37,766 --> 00:07:39,765
ANYWAY, SO THEY MIGHT AS WELL GET IT FROM US!
209
00:07:39,766 --> 00:07:43,765
AND WE'VE GOT THE SHIRT THAT PROMOTES THE SODA!
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00:07:43,766 --> 00:07:44,765
DOUBLE PUMP!
211
00:07:44,766 --> 00:07:46,765
>> WE CALL IT THE "OBESI-TEE"!
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GET IT? OBESE? TEE? T-SHIRT?
213
00:07:48,766 --> 00:07:49,765
Y-YOU JUST HAD TO BE THERE.
214
00:07:49,766 --> 00:07:51,765
>> AND WE'VE GOT SNACKTIME COVERED!
215
00:07:51,766 --> 00:07:52,765
>> OH, MY, FELLAS.
216
00:07:52,766 --> 00:07:53,765
THAT LOOKS LIKE COCAINE.
217
00:07:53,766 --> 00:07:54,765
I'LL CALL THE POLICE.
218
00:07:54,766 --> 00:07:55,765
>> ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
219
00:07:55,766 --> 00:07:57,765
WITH COKE PRICES THESE DAYS?
220
00:07:57,766 --> 00:07:58,765
THIS IS PURE REFINED SUGAR.
221
00:07:58,766 --> 00:08:01,765
>> A SURVEY WE DID SAID 100%
OF DRUG ADDICTS USED TO BE KIDS!
222
00:08:01,766 --> 00:08:02,765
YOU BELIEVE THAT?!
223
00:08:02,766 --> 00:08:03,765
>> AND FINALLY, CARTOONS!
224
00:08:03,766 --> 00:08:06,765
CHECK IT OUT - OUR NEW
ADDITION TO "MISTER ROGERS'
225
00:08:06,766 --> 00:08:07,765
NEIGHBORHOOD"!
226
00:08:07,766 --> 00:08:09,765
>> OH SHIT! IT'S "WAKA BLOCKA BLAOW!"
227
00:08:09,766 --> 00:08:12,765
>> ♪ POW! POW! POW! POW!
♪ BITCH, I'M BUSTIN' AT 'EM!
228
00:08:12,766 --> 00:08:15,765
♪ POW! POW! POW! POW!
♪ BITCH, I'M BUSTIN' AT' EM!
229
00:08:15,766 --> 00:08:17,765
>> SO, YOU JUST INTRODUCE THESE
CARTOONS, TELL THE KIDS TO BUY
230
00:08:17,766 --> 00:08:18,765
SOME CRAP...
231
00:08:18,766 --> 00:08:20,765
>> WELCOME TO THE NEIGHBORHOOD, BITCH!
232
00:08:20,766 --> 00:08:22,765
>> ...ENOUGH CASH FOR AT LEAST THREE SUBMARINES!
233
00:08:22,766 --> 00:08:23,765
HUH?! HUH?!
234
00:08:23,766 --> 00:08:24,765
[ KA-CHING! ] >> SORRY, FRED.
235
00:08:24,766 --> 00:08:25,765
WE GOT TO DO THIS.
236
00:08:25,766 --> 00:08:27,765
WE JUST DON'T KNOW WHERE THE MONEY WENT.
237
00:08:27,766 --> 00:08:31,765
IS MY MONEY TIE ON STRAIGHT?
238
00:08:31,766 --> 00:08:34,766
>> I TOLD YOU THEY DON'T
CARE ABOUT THE KIDS LIKE WE DO.
239
00:08:34,767 --> 00:08:36,765
>> WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING?
240
00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:37,765
>> MAYBE HE NEEDS SOME COCAINE.
241
00:08:37,766 --> 00:08:40,765
>> YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ALWAYS
SAID YOU'D DO IF IT CAME TO THIS.
242
00:08:40,766 --> 00:08:42,765
IF NO ONE IS GOING TO PROTECT
THE KIDS FROM ALL THE BAD IN THE
243
00:08:42,766 --> 00:08:45,765
WORLD, IT HAS TO BE YOU.
244
00:08:45,766 --> 00:08:48,765
YOU KNOW, FRIENDS, I TRY TO
TEACH MY CHILDREN A LESSON ABOUT
245
00:08:48,766 --> 00:08:51,765
OVERCOMING PROBLEMS WITH
THEIR IMAGINATION, BUT I GUESS
246
00:08:51,766 --> 00:08:55,765
SOMETIMES YOU JUST GOT TO FIND
THE THING THAT'S BROKEN AND TAKE
247
00:08:55,766 --> 00:08:56,765
IT OUT.
248
00:08:56,766 --> 00:08:57,765
>> PUT THAT DOWN, FRED.
249
00:08:57,766 --> 00:09:01,765
[ MEN SCREAMING ] [ THUD ]
250
00:09:01,766 --> 00:09:06,765
>> ♪ DYNAMITE! DYNAMITE
>> Black Dynamite: NOW, SEE?
251
00:09:06,766 --> 00:09:08,765
THIS CAN'T SAY, "BIRTHDAY."
252
00:09:08,766 --> 00:09:10,765
WE CAN'T HAVE THE ORPHANS
THINKING ABOUT HOW THEY WAS ONCE
253
00:09:10,766 --> 00:09:13,765
BIRTHED, 'CAUSE THAT WOULD
REMIND THEM OF THEIR MAMA'S
254
00:09:13,766 --> 00:09:14,765
VAGINA, WHICH IS CONNECTED TO...
255
00:09:14,766 --> 00:09:16,765
>> Cream Corn: WHAT'S THAT, BLACK DYNAMITE?
256
00:09:16,766 --> 00:09:18,765
>> Black Dynamite: A MAMA!
257
00:09:18,766 --> 00:09:21,765
BETTER, ALTHOUGH NOW THAT
I THINK OF IT, EACH OF THOSE
258
00:09:21,766 --> 00:09:22,765
ORPHANS WAS BORN ON A DAY.
259
00:09:22,766 --> 00:09:24,765
HMM.
260
00:09:24,766 --> 00:09:26,765
DO Y'ALL THINK "HAPPY"
MIGHT BE TOO CLOSE TO "PAPPY"?
261
00:09:26,766 --> 00:09:31,766
>> ♪ DYNAMITE! DYNAMITE
>> YOU KNOW, KIDS, WE ALL HAVE
262
00:09:31,767 --> 00:09:33,765
PROBLEMS.
263
00:09:33,766 --> 00:09:36,766
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU RIGHT
NOW ABOUT A NEW WAY TO SOLVE YOUR
264
00:09:36,767 --> 00:09:38,765
PROBLEMS.
265
00:09:38,766 --> 00:09:39,765
>> [ GIGGLE S] >> I'VE NEVER SEEN THIS PART
266
00:09:39,766 --> 00:09:40,765
BEFORE.
267
00:09:40,766 --> 00:09:42,206
>> WHY DOES HE LOOK LIKE THAT?
268
00:09:42,766 --> 00:09:46,765
>> WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN THE MAD
THAT YOU FEEL, WHEN EACH WAY YOU
269
00:09:46,766 --> 00:09:50,765
WALK IS UPHILL, WHEN THE
GROWN-UPS ARE WORKING AGAINST
270
00:09:50,766 --> 00:09:52,765
YOU AND ALL YOU CAN DO IS TO KILL?
271
00:09:52,766 --> 00:09:54,765
[ ALL GASP ] DON'T RUN AWAY.
272
00:09:54,766 --> 00:09:56,765
DON'T ADMIT DEFEAT.
273
00:09:56,766 --> 00:10:00,765
JUST POINT YOUR GUN UP AND FIRE ONE VOLLEY.
274
00:10:00,766 --> 00:10:03,765
[ ALL SCREAM ] ALL YOU KIDS HOP OUT OF YOUR
275
00:10:03,766 --> 00:10:05,765
SEATS AND GET ON THE MOTHERFUCKING TROLLEY.
276
00:10:05,766 --> 00:10:07,765
[ TROLLEY DINGS ] >> TIMMY, NO!
277
00:10:07,766 --> 00:10:08,765
>> THAT'S MY SON.
278
00:10:08,766 --> 00:10:10,765
RONDELL. RONDELL. RONDELL!
279
00:10:10,766 --> 00:10:11,765
>> THERE YOU GO.
280
00:10:11,766 --> 00:10:12,765
WATCH THAT STEP.
281
00:10:12,766 --> 00:10:13,765
>> RONDELL, COME BACK!
282
00:10:13,766 --> 00:10:15,765
>> WHITE KIDS, TOO, LADIES.
283
00:10:15,766 --> 00:10:15,765
>> RONDELL!
284
00:10:15,766 --> 00:10:16,765
>> TIMMY, NO!
285
00:10:16,766 --> 00:10:17,765
>> RONDELL!
286
00:10:17,766 --> 00:10:20,106
>> WE'RE MOVING, BOYS AND GIRLS, OFF TO THE REAL
287
00:10:20,107 --> 00:10:21,765
LAND OF MAKE-BELIEVE.
288
00:10:21,766 --> 00:10:23,506
[ CHILDREN CHEER ] [ TROLLEY DINGS ]
289
00:10:23,507 --> 00:10:24,765
>> NO! NO, NO, NO! FRED!
290
00:10:24,766 --> 00:10:25,765
I'M YOUR NEIGHBOR!
291
00:10:25,766 --> 00:10:27,765
[ CRASH ] >> RONDELL!
292
00:10:27,766 --> 00:10:29,765
>> WELL, IT'S TIME TO MOVE, BITCH.
293
00:10:29,766 --> 00:10:30,765
NOW SAY, "BYE," KIDS!
294
00:10:30,766 --> 00:10:32,765
>> DON'T LET THEM PUT YOU
IN THE BACK OF THAT WHITE MAN'S
295
00:10:32,766 --> 00:10:34,765
TROLLEY!
296
00:10:34,766 --> 00:10:37,765
[ PEOPLE CLAMORING ] >>
WELL, WHERE'S BLACK DYNAMITE
297
00:10:37,766 --> 00:10:38,765
WHEN YOU NEED HIM?!
298
00:10:38,766 --> 00:10:39,765
WASN'T HE JUST HERE?!
299
00:10:39,766 --> 00:10:40,765
>> Black Dynamite: OKAY, Y'ALL.
300
00:10:40,766 --> 00:10:42,765
NOW LET'S GET THESE ORPHANS
AND HAVE THE BEST BIRTHDAY EV-
301
00:10:42,766 --> 00:10:45,765
WHAT THE FUCK? >> [ Sobbing ] RONDELL!
302
00:10:45,766 --> 00:10:46,765
>> OH, TIMMY!
303
00:10:46,766 --> 00:10:48,765
>> OH, JIMMY! MY BABY!
304
00:10:48,766 --> 00:10:51,765
>> Honey Bee: DAMN, DAMN, DAMN IT, BLACK...
305
00:10:51,766 --> 00:10:53,986
>> ♪ DYNAMITE! DYNAMITE! [ SIREN WAILING ]
306
00:10:57,766 --> 00:11:00,765
>> Black Dynamite: WHO'S IN CHARGE HERE?
307
00:11:00,766 --> 00:11:02,765
>> SARCASTICALLY, MISTER ROGERS IS IN CHARGE.
308
00:11:02,766 --> 00:11:04,765
>> Black Dynamite: CHIEF
RODNEY MAGILAHORN, HONKIES FROM
309
00:11:04,766 --> 00:11:06,765
THE ATF - I CAN'T SAY I'M
HAPPY TO SEE YOU, SO I WON'T.
310
00:11:06,766 --> 00:11:07,765
WHAT'S THE LOWDOWN?
311
00:11:07,766 --> 00:11:08,765
>> Cream Corn: DAMN!
312
00:11:08,766 --> 00:11:09,765
MISTER ROGERS DID ALL THIS?
313
00:11:09,766 --> 00:11:12,536
MAKES ME QUESTION EVERY
LESSON I EVER LEARNED FROM HIM.
314
00:11:12,537 --> 00:11:15,166
I KNEW SHARING FROM YOUR
HEART WAS A CROCK OF SHIT
315
00:11:15,167 --> 00:11:17,765
>> MISTER ROGERS KIDNAPPED
ALL THE KIDS IN THE AUDIENCE AT
316
00:11:17,766 --> 00:11:21,765
GUNPOINT AND ESCAPED VIA TROLLEY
DOWN THIS TUNNEL, WHICH SEEMS TO
317
00:11:21,766 --> 00:11:24,706
HAVE BEEN BUILT FOR THE SOLE
PURPOSE OF KIDNAPPING KIDS VIA
318
00:11:24,707 --> 00:11:25,765
TROLLEY.
319
00:11:25,766 --> 00:11:27,765
SO, AS SOON AS WE GET THROUGH
THESE ROCKS, WE'RE GONNA USE OUR
320
00:11:27,766 --> 00:11:29,765
BIGGEST, HARDEST UNIT AND PENETRATE THAT TUNNEL.
321
00:11:29,766 --> 00:11:30,765
>> Cream Corn: OH, I GET IT!
322
00:11:30,766 --> 00:11:31,765
THE TUNNEL'S A VAGINA!
323
00:11:31,766 --> 00:11:32,765
>> YEAH.
324
00:11:32,766 --> 00:11:34,765
>> Black Dynamite: CHIEF
MAGILAHORN, I RESPECT YOU AS
325
00:11:34,766 --> 00:11:36,765
MUCH AS I CAN RESPECT
ANY INCOMPETENT COP WHO ALWAYS
326
00:11:36,766 --> 00:11:38,765
FUCKS THINGS UP, BUT UNLESS
YOU GOT SOME GOOD INTEL, YOU
327
00:11:38,766 --> 00:11:41,765
NEVER JUST STORM INTO A
SITUATION AND START SHOOTING -
328
00:11:41,766 --> 00:11:43,765
UNLESS YOU'RE BLACK DYNAMITE,
THAT IS, AND YOU'RE NOT
329
00:11:43,766 --> 00:11:43,765
BLACK DYNAMITE.
330
00:11:43,766 --> 00:11:44,765
I AM.
331
00:11:44,766 --> 00:11:45,765
>> HE'S JUST A KIDDIE-SHOW HOST.
332
00:11:45,766 --> 00:11:49,766
WHAT'S HE GONNA DO - STRANGLE
ME WITH HIS CARDIGAN?
333
00:11:50,766 --> 00:11:52,446
[ TROLLEY DINGS ] [ TROLLEY DINGS ]
334
00:12:05,607 --> 00:12:09,765
[ TROLLEY DINGS ] >> OH, WELL, HELLO, LITTLE
335
00:12:09,766 --> 00:12:10,765
TROLLEY.
336
00:12:10,766 --> 00:12:12,765
[ TROLLEY DINGS ] WHAT'S THAT, LITTLE TROLLEY?
337
00:12:12,766 --> 00:12:14,765
[ TROLLEY DINGS ] THERE'S A S.W.A.T. TEAM COMING
338
00:12:14,766 --> 00:12:15,765
TO TAKE AWAY ALL THE KIDS?
339
00:12:15,766 --> 00:12:16,765
[ TROLLEY DINGS ] OH, NO!
340
00:12:16,766 --> 00:12:17,966
WE CAN'T LET THAT HAPPEN.
341
00:12:17,967 --> 00:12:20,765
>> BUT WHY ARE THEY COMING
TO GET US, MISTER ROGERS?
342
00:12:20,766 --> 00:12:23,765
>> WELL, BOYS AND GIRLS,
HOW 'BOUT I TELL YOU IN A SONG?
343
00:12:23,766 --> 00:12:27,765
[ CHILDREN CHEER ] ♪ POW! POW! POW! POW!
344
00:12:27,766 --> 00:12:30,765
♪ BITCH, I'M BUSTIN'
AT 'EM! ♪ POW! POW! POW! POW!
345
00:12:30,766 --> 00:12:33,765
♪ BITCH, I'M BUSTIN' AT 'EM!
♪ THEY SHOW YOU ASS AND SEX, SO,
346
00:12:33,766 --> 00:12:36,765
BITCH, I'M BUSTIN' AT 'EM!
♪ ♪ ADULTS DON'T GIVE A FUCK
347
00:12:36,766 --> 00:12:39,766
SO, BITCH, I'M BUSTIN' AT
'EM! ♪ ♪ POW! POW! POW! POW!
348
00:12:40,766 --> 00:12:43,765
♪ BITCH, I'M BUSTIN'
AT 'EM! ♪ POW! POW! POW! POW!
349
00:12:43,766 --> 00:12:45,765
♪ BITCH, I'M BUSTIN' AT
'EM! ♪ THEY'LL GET YOU HOOKED ON
350
00:12:45,766 --> 00:12:47,765
SMACK, HEROINE AND COKE AND SHIT ♪
351
00:12:47,766 --> 00:12:51,765
♪ THEN YOU'LL SELL YOUR
MAMA OR EVEN SUCK A DICK ♪
352
00:12:51,766 --> 00:12:54,765
♪ POW! POW! POW! POW!
♪ BITCH, I'M BUSTIN' AT 'EM!
353
00:12:54,766 --> 00:12:57,765
♪ POW! POW! POW! POW!
♪ BITCH, I'M BUSTIN' AT 'EM!
354
00:12:57,766 --> 00:13:00,765
♪ VIOLENCE, GUNS, AND SEX,
WE'RE GONNA SNAP THEIR NECKS ♪
355
00:13:00,766 --> 00:13:03,765
♪ THE GROWN-UPS WANT TO FLEX,
WE'LL PUT THEIR ASS IN CHECK ♪
356
00:13:03,766 --> 00:13:05,766
♪ POW! >> HEH HEH.
357
00:13:08,766 --> 00:13:10,765
>> OKAY, BOYS! SADDLE UP!
358
00:13:10,766 --> 00:13:11,765
>> HUT! HUT, HUT, HUT!
359
00:13:11,766 --> 00:13:12,765
HUT, HUT, HUT, HUT!
360
00:13:12,766 --> 00:13:14,765
>> Black Dynamite: MAGILAHORN, I'M GOIN' IN.
361
00:13:14,766 --> 00:13:16,765
>> NO. NO ONE CAN GO AFTER HIM.
362
00:13:16,766 --> 00:13:18,765
THOSE MEN ARE ALL GONNA DIE!
363
00:13:18,766 --> 00:13:20,765
>> Honey Bee: SPEEDY DELIVERYMAN MR. McFEELY?
364
00:13:20,766 --> 00:13:21,765
OH, DAMN!
365
00:13:21,766 --> 00:13:23,765
LOOKS LIKE YOUR ASS AIN'T
GONNA BE DELIVERIN' NO MORE MAIL!
366
00:13:23,766 --> 00:13:25,765
>> Bullhorn: YOUR BACK IS
BROKE, YOUR LIMBS ARE TWISTED.
367
00:13:25,766 --> 00:13:27,765
YOU LOOK LIKE YOU JUST GOT DOUBLE-FISTED.
368
00:13:27,766 --> 00:13:28,765
>> CALL THEM BACK!
369
00:13:28,766 --> 00:13:29,765
IT'S JUST WHAT HE WANTS!
370
00:13:29,766 --> 00:13:30,765
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!
371
00:13:30,766 --> 00:13:33,765
THEY'RE DEAD MEN "HUT, HUT, HUTTING"!
372
00:13:33,766 --> 00:13:36,765
>> ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL
ME THAT 30 COPS AGAINST ONE OLD
373
00:13:36,766 --> 00:13:38,766
TV HOST IS A NO-WIN SITUATION FOR US?
374
00:13:38,767 --> 00:13:40,765
>> WAIT! YOU DON'T KNOW?
375
00:13:40,766 --> 00:13:43,765
YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT THE SECRET
OF FRED ROGERS THAT NO ONE KNOWS
376
00:13:43,766 --> 00:13:44,765
ABOUT?
377
00:13:44,766 --> 00:13:46,765
>> Black Dynamite: TELL ME, DISMEMBERED MAILMAN!
378
00:13:46,766 --> 00:13:47,765
FLASH BACK!
379
00:13:47,766 --> 00:13:50,765
FLASH BACK FOR ME, AS I HAVE
NO PAST WITH MISTER ROGERS, SO I
380
00:13:50,766 --> 00:13:51,765
CANNOT FLASH BACK FOR MYSELF!
381
00:13:51,766 --> 00:13:53,765
>> CAPTAIN FRED ROGERS...
382
00:13:53,766 --> 00:13:57,765
IS THE BADDEST MOTHERFUCKER I EVER KNEW!
383
00:13:57,766 --> 00:14:03,765
I FIRST KNEW HIM IN 1958, BEFORE HE TURNED.
384
00:14:03,766 --> 00:14:06,765
[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]
WE AIN'T GETTING THROUGH THAT!
385
00:14:06,766 --> 00:14:08,765
THERE'S GOT TO BE AT LEAST 100 COMMIES IN THERE!
386
00:14:08,766 --> 00:14:10,766
>> UGH! UGH!
387
00:14:16,766 --> 00:14:18,765
>> WELL, HELLO, THERE, LITTLE FELLA.
388
00:14:18,766 --> 00:14:19,765
ARE YOU SCARED?
389
00:14:19,766 --> 00:14:21,765
IT'S A SCARY PLACE, ISN'T IT?
390
00:14:21,766 --> 00:14:23,765
IT'S OKAY TO BE SCARED.
391
00:14:23,766 --> 00:14:25,766
IT'S OKAY TO NOT KNOW WHAT YOU SHOULD DO.
392
00:14:25,767 --> 00:14:27,765
>> I'M SORRY!
393
00:14:27,766 --> 00:14:29,765
I DIDN'T MEAN TO TURN OUT THIS WAY!
394
00:14:29,766 --> 00:14:33,765
IF ONLY THERE HAD BEEN POSITIVE
INFLUENCE IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD AND
395
00:14:33,766 --> 00:14:37,765
THAT TAUGHT ME IMPORTANT VALUES
OF SHARING, BEING FRIENDLY, AND
396
00:14:37,766 --> 00:14:41,765
RESOLVING PROBLEMS IN A
CONSTRUCTIVE MANNER, THIS WOULD
397
00:14:41,766 --> 00:14:42,765
HAVE TURNED OUT DIFFERENT.
398
00:14:42,766 --> 00:14:43,765
>> I'VE GOT AN IDEA.
399
00:14:43,766 --> 00:14:47,765
WHY DON'T YOU JUST HAND
ME THAT PINEAPPLE, VERY SLOWLY?
400
00:14:47,766 --> 00:14:49,765
OKAY?
401
00:14:49,766 --> 00:14:54,765
[ BULLET ZOOMS ] NO!
402
00:14:54,766 --> 00:14:56,765
HY-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-AH!
403
00:14:56,766 --> 00:14:58,765
>> UGH!
404
00:14:58,766 --> 00:14:59,765
>> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
405
00:14:59,766 --> 00:15:01,765
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
406
00:15:01,766 --> 00:15:02,816
>> UGH!
407
00:15:02,817 --> 00:15:04,765
>> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
408
00:15:04,766 --> 00:15:12,765
[ PEOPLE SCREAMING ] >> [ BREATHING HEAVILY ]
409
00:15:12,766 --> 00:15:14,765
AND THAT WAS JUST THE BEGINNING.
410
00:15:14,766 --> 00:15:16,765
BEIRUT, 1960.
411
00:15:16,766 --> 00:15:18,765
CUBA, 1961.
412
00:15:18,766 --> 00:15:21,765
SINAI, 1967.
413
00:15:21,766 --> 00:15:26,765
ANYTIME THERE'S KIDS INVOLVED,
NOBODY STANDS A CHANCE.
414
00:15:26,766 --> 00:15:28,765
UGH!
415
00:15:28,766 --> 00:15:30,765
>> Honey Bee: DAMN IT, BLACK DYNAMITE!
416
00:15:30,766 --> 00:15:32,765
I CAN'T BELIEVE I LET YOU
CONVINCE ME TO LEAVE MY BABIES
417
00:15:32,766 --> 00:15:34,765
BY THEMSELVES WITH THIS CRAZY PSYCHO MANIAC!
418
00:15:34,766 --> 00:15:35,765
>> Black Dynamite: OKAY.
419
00:15:35,766 --> 00:15:37,765
NOW, HOW THE HELL WAS I SUPPOSED
TO KNOW THE NICEST, FRIENDLIEST,
420
00:15:37,766 --> 00:15:40,765
SOFT-SPOKENEST MOTHERFUCKA
IN THE WORLD WOULD TURN OUT TO BE A
421
00:15:40,766 --> 00:15:42,765
CRAZY MANIAC PSYCHO HONKY?!
422
00:15:42,766 --> 00:15:45,765
>> ALL RIGHT, LET'S NOT
WASTE TIME THINKING ABOUT HOW
423
00:15:45,766 --> 00:15:48,765
BLACK DYNAMITE FUCKED UP AND
COULD HAVE POTENTIALLY COST THE
424
00:15:48,766 --> 00:15:49,765
ORPHANS THEIR LIVES.
425
00:15:49,766 --> 00:15:52,765
NOW, I ASSURE YOU MY MEN CAN HANDLE THIS FIGHT.
426
00:15:52,766 --> 00:15:55,765
>> HUT, HUT, HUT, HUT!
427
00:15:55,766 --> 00:15:59,765
>> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
428
00:15:59,766 --> 00:16:00,765
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
429
00:16:00,766 --> 00:16:01,765
>> NOOOOO!
430
00:16:01,766 --> 00:16:02,765
>> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
431
00:16:02,766 --> 00:16:05,766
>> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
432
00:16:05,767 --> 00:16:07,765
>> OH, GOD!
433
00:16:07,766 --> 00:16:10,765
WE CANNOT HANDLE THIS FIGHT!
434
00:16:10,766 --> 00:16:14,765
[ TROLLEY DINGS ] >> Honey Bee: [ GASPS ]
435
00:16:14,766 --> 00:16:18,766
>> WHAT THE FUCK?! >> Cream Corn: OHH!
436
00:16:19,766 --> 00:16:22,765
>> OH SHIT! SOMEBODY SURVIVED?!
437
00:16:22,766 --> 00:16:25,765
SEE? I TOLD YOU THEY WERE PROFESSIONALS!
438
00:16:25,766 --> 00:16:27,765
>> I DON'T THINK HE WANTS US TO BE HIS NEIGHBOR.
439
00:16:27,766 --> 00:16:28,765
>> Cream Corn: GOD DAMN!
440
00:16:28,766 --> 00:16:29,765
MISTER ROGERS DID THIS, TOO?!
441
00:16:29,766 --> 00:16:31,765
I AIN'T NEVER SAYING, "PLEASE"
OR "THANK YOU" FOR THE REST OF
442
00:16:31,766 --> 00:16:32,765
MY WHOLE FUCKIN' LIFE.
443
00:16:32,766 --> 00:16:35,765
[ TROLLEY DINGS ] >> Honey Bee: UH-OH.
444
00:16:35,766 --> 00:16:37,765
>> Black Dynamite: LOOK OUT!
445
00:16:37,766 --> 00:16:38,765
>> Bullhorn: WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!
446
00:16:38,766 --> 00:16:44,765
[ ALL SCREAM ] >> Black Dynamite: ALL RIGHT.
447
00:16:44,766 --> 00:16:45,816
THAT'S IT.
448
00:16:45,817 --> 00:16:47,765
I'M GOING IN THERE AND GETTING
THOSE ORPHANS BACK THAT NEVER
449
00:16:47,766 --> 00:16:49,765
BELONGED TO ME IN THE FIRST PLACE.
450
00:16:49,766 --> 00:16:51,765
>> NOT WITHOUT US HONKIES
FROM THE ATF, YOU'RE NOT.
451
00:16:51,766 --> 00:16:54,766
>> THE ATF HONKIES ARE
IN COMMAND NOW, BLACK DYNAMITE.
452
00:16:54,767 --> 00:16:56,765
YOU DIG?
453
00:16:56,766 --> 00:16:58,765
>> Black Dynamite: WHATEVER
YOU GOT TO TELL YOURSELF, CHIEF.
454
00:16:58,766 --> 00:17:00,765
BUT THE ONLY THING YOU'LL
BE DIGGING IS MORE HONKIES FROM THE
455
00:17:00,766 --> 00:17:01,765
ATF's GRAVES.
456
00:17:01,766 --> 00:17:03,765
>> LISTEN, BLACK DYNAMITE,
YOU JUST STAY BEHIND US AND WE'LL
457
00:17:03,766 --> 00:17:04,765
TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING.
458
00:17:04,766 --> 00:17:06,765
>> Black Dynamite: YOU KNOW,
FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE, I'M
459
00:17:06,766 --> 00:17:09,766
INCLINED TO DO WHAT A CRACKER COP TELLS ME TO.
460
00:17:33,766 --> 00:17:38,765
>> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
461
00:17:38,766 --> 00:17:40,765
>> Black Dynamite: SUEY!
462
00:17:40,766 --> 00:17:41,846
>> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
463
00:17:46,766 --> 00:17:48,765
>> BLACK DYNAMITE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
464
00:17:48,766 --> 00:17:51,416
>> Black Dynamite: JUST
STAYING BEHIND YOU, SUCKA!
465
00:17:57,727 --> 00:18:01,765
>> BLACK DYNAMITE, I'M NOT GONNA MAKE IT!
466
00:18:01,766 --> 00:18:02,765
GO ON WITHOUT ME!
467
00:18:02,766 --> 00:18:02,765
>> Black Dynamite: ALL RIGHT!
468
00:18:02,766 --> 00:18:03,765
>> WAIT, WHAT?!
469
00:18:03,766 --> 00:18:05,765
>> Black Dynamite: SUEY!
470
00:18:05,766 --> 00:18:07,766
>> ♪ DYNAMITE! DYNAMITE!
471
00:18:14,766 --> 00:18:16,765
>> WELL, HI, THERE.
472
00:18:16,766 --> 00:18:19,765
I SURE DIDN'T EXPECT ANYBODY TO SURVIVE ALL THAT.
473
00:18:19,766 --> 00:18:21,765
BUT, GOSH, SURPRISES MAKE ME HAPPY.
474
00:18:21,766 --> 00:18:23,765
>> Black Dynamite: I WISH I COULD SAY THE SAME,
475
00:18:23,766 --> 00:18:25,765
MISTER ROGERS, AND I AM
IMPRESSED BY YOUR ABILITY TO
476
00:18:25,766 --> 00:18:26,765
SLAUGHTER MOTHERFUCKERS WITH A CARDIGAN.
477
00:18:26,766 --> 00:18:28,765
BUT THIS AIN'T NO PLEASANTRY
VISIT TO YOUR MAKE-BELIEVE LAND
478
00:18:28,766 --> 00:18:30,765
OF MURDER AND DEATH.
479
00:18:30,766 --> 00:18:31,765
SOME OF THOSE KIDS THERE
BELONG TO MY WHOREPHANAGE.
480
00:18:31,766 --> 00:18:33,765
>> WHAT EVER IS A WHOREPHANAGE?
481
00:18:33,766 --> 00:18:35,765
>> Black Dynamite: IT'S LIKE
AN ORPHANAGE BUT WITH A LOT MORE
482
00:18:35,766 --> 00:18:36,765
PUSSY >> OH, I SEE.
483
00:18:36,766 --> 00:18:39,765
YOU MUST BE THE BLACK DYNAMITE
SOME OF THESE KIDS HAVE BEEN
484
00:18:39,766 --> 00:18:40,765
TALKING ABOUT.
485
00:18:40,766 --> 00:18:42,765
YOU RAISE THEM AROUND SEX,
VIOLENCE, AND FOUL LANGUAGE.
486
00:18:42,766 --> 00:18:44,765
WHAT DO YOU THINK THAT'S GOING TO DO TO THEM?
487
00:18:44,766 --> 00:18:46,765
>> Black Dynamite: LISTEN,
ROGERS, I'M STARTING TO LOSE MY
488
00:18:46,766 --> 00:18:48,765
PATIENCE WITH YOU, SO I'M DROPPING THE "MISTER."
489
00:18:48,766 --> 00:18:50,765
NOW I GOT TO EVICT EVERYBODY
IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD.
490
00:18:50,766 --> 00:18:53,765
>> YOU KNOW, IT'S EASY TO
TAKE A GUN AND ANNIHILATE YOUR
491
00:18:53,766 --> 00:18:56,765
OPPONENT, BUT IT'S SO MUCH MORE
FUN SOMETIMES TO JUST WRAP YOUR
492
00:18:56,766 --> 00:18:59,765
SWEATER AROUND A MOTHERFUCKER!
>> Black Dynamite: MR. ROGERS,
493
00:18:59,766 --> 00:19:01,765
YOU AIN'T THE ONLY ONE THAT
MASTERED THE ANCIENT ART OF
494
00:19:01,766 --> 00:19:03,765
CARDIGAN KUNG-FU!
495
00:19:03,766 --> 00:19:10,765
>> ♪ DYNAMITE! DYNAMITE!
♪ DYNAMITE! DYNAMITE!
496
00:19:10,766 --> 00:19:11,765
>> Black Dynamite: UGH!
497
00:19:11,766 --> 00:19:14,406
>> ♪ SWUNG AND HE MISSED,
BLACK DYNAMITE DON'T TAKE
498
00:19:14,407 --> 00:19:16,765
NO SHIT ♪ ♪ OH, THERE GOES THE CARDIGAN
499
00:19:16,766 --> 00:19:20,765
IN HIS EYE ♪ ♪ HE HIT HIM, AND HE MOVED
500
00:19:20,766 --> 00:19:21,765
♪ KNOCKED HIM DOWN,
AIN'T GOT NOTHIN' TO PROVE ♪
501
00:19:21,766 --> 00:19:25,765
♪ BLACK DYNAMITE, OOH!
♪ MISTER ROGERS 'BOUT TO GET UP
502
00:19:25,766 --> 00:19:28,765
WITH THE KNIFE! ♪ ♪ BREAK HIS ARM!
503
00:19:28,766 --> 00:19:31,765
♪ HE 'BOUT TO DO HIM WRONG
WRAP IT AROUND HIS NECK ♪
504
00:19:31,766 --> 00:19:35,765
♪ LOOK AT THE KIDS, THEY'RE
GETTIN' CONCERNED, OH, LORD ♪
505
00:19:35,766 --> 00:19:36,765
>> KIDS? UH, OKAY.
506
00:19:36,766 --> 00:19:39,765
WHAT DID MISTER ROGERS TEACH
YOU ABOUT DEALING WITH THESE
507
00:19:39,766 --> 00:19:40,765
BITCHASS GROWN-UPS?
508
00:19:40,766 --> 00:19:42,765
>> ♪ KIDS, YOU BETTER NOT SAY SHIT ♪
509
00:19:42,766 --> 00:19:43,966
>> COME ON, KIDS! SAY IT!
510
00:19:43,967 --> 00:19:45,765
>> WE CAN'T.
511
00:19:45,766 --> 00:19:47,765
BLACK DYNAMITE ALWAYS TAUGHT
US TO SHUT THE FUCK UP WHEN
512
00:19:47,766 --> 00:19:48,906
GROWN FOLKS IS TALKING.
513
00:19:48,907 --> 00:19:50,765
>> Black Dynamite: THAT'S
MY BOY, LIL' ORPHAN ARNOLD.
514
00:19:50,766 --> 00:19:52,765
NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP!
515
00:19:52,766 --> 00:19:54,765
>> YOU GROWN-UPS CAN'T
BE TRUSTED, BLACK DYNAMITE.
516
00:19:54,766 --> 00:19:56,765
ALL YOU'RE GONNA DO IS SMOTHER
'EM WITH ASS, GUNS, AND DRUGS.
517
00:19:56,766 --> 00:19:59,646
>> Black Dynamite: YOU KNOW,
IT'S FUNNY YOU BRING THAT UP,
518
00:19:59,647 --> 00:20:00,765
BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'VE
BEEN THINKIN' ABOUT THIS WHOLE
519
00:20:00,766 --> 00:20:01,765
EPISODE.
520
00:20:01,766 --> 00:20:03,765
SEE, I REALIZE I'VE BEEN
DOING THE SAME THING ALL ALONG.
521
00:20:03,766 --> 00:20:05,765
I CAN'T HIDE THE FACT THAT
THESE ORPHANS DON'T HAVE ANY DAMN
522
00:20:05,766 --> 00:20:08,765
PARENTS, AND YOU CAN'T SHELTER
THEM FROM THE REAL WORLD BY
523
00:20:08,766 --> 00:20:10,765
PUTTIN' THEY ASSES IN A
MAKE-BELIEVE LAND THAT'S REAL.
524
00:20:10,766 --> 00:20:13,765
YOU ALWAYS SAY YOU GOT TO
ACCEPT PEOPLE FOR WHO THEY ARE.
525
00:20:13,766 --> 00:20:15,765
WELL, YOU GOT TO ACCEPT
THE WORLD FOR WHO HE IS, TOO.
526
00:20:15,766 --> 00:20:18,765
>> UH, N-NO MATTER WHAT
YOU SAY, BLACK DYNAMITE, YOU'RE A
527
00:20:18,766 --> 00:20:20,765
GROWN-UP, AND I WON'T LISTEN TO YOU!
528
00:20:20,766 --> 00:20:23,765
>> BUT, MISTER ROGERS,
AREN'T YOU A GROWN-UP, TOO?
529
00:20:23,766 --> 00:20:27,765
>> [ GASPS ] OH, MY BEJEEBERS.
530
00:20:27,766 --> 00:20:28,765
YOU'RE RIGHT.
531
00:20:28,766 --> 00:20:31,765
BLACK DYNAMITE, YOU'VE MADE TODAY A SPECIAL DAY.
532
00:20:31,766 --> 00:20:35,765
I HAVE TO ACCEPT MYSELF FOR WHO I AM.
533
00:20:35,766 --> 00:20:36,765
I AM A GROWN-UP.
534
00:20:36,766 --> 00:20:38,765
I AM A GROWN-UP.
535
00:20:38,766 --> 00:20:39,765
THANK YOU, BLACK DYNAMITE.
536
00:20:39,766 --> 00:20:41,765
NOW I KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME.
537
00:20:41,766 --> 00:20:42,816
I CAN'T BE TRUSTED.
538
00:20:42,817 --> 00:20:45,765
>> Black Dynamite: GLAD
I COULD HELP, MISTER ROGERS.
539
00:20:45,766 --> 00:20:47,765
YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES LOVE
- >> I THINK I'M JUST GONNA TAKE
540
00:20:47,766 --> 00:20:49,765
THIS SWEATER AND WRAP
IT AROUND MY NECK AND SNAP MY -
541
00:20:49,766 --> 00:20:51,765
>> Black Dynamite: MISTER ROGERS!
542
00:20:51,766 --> 00:20:52,765
>> All: NOOOO!
543
00:20:52,766 --> 00:20:55,765
[ CRUNCH! ] >> WELL, I'VE GOT TO SAY GOODBYE
544
00:20:55,766 --> 00:20:59,765
FOR TODAY, BUT I'LL SEE YOU AGAIN SOON, NEIGHBOR.
545
00:20:59,766 --> 00:21:00,765
BYE, NOW!
546
00:21:00,766 --> 00:21:03,765
♪ POW! POW! POW! POW!
♪ BITCH, I'M BUSTIN' AT 'EM!
547
00:21:03,766 --> 00:21:06,765
♪ I BE BUSTIN' AT 'EM! ♪ I BE BUSTIN' AT 'EM!
548
00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:10,765
♪ I BE BUSTIN' AT 'EM!
>> ♪ DYNAMITE! DYNAMITE!
549
00:21:10,766 --> 00:21:11,765
>> BITCH!
550
00:21:11,766 --> 00:21:13,765
>> Black Dynamite: ALL RIGHT, LITTLE ORPHANS.
551
00:21:13,766 --> 00:21:15,765
SINCE I CANNOT SHELTER YOU
FROM YOUR PAINFUL PARENTLESS LITTLE
552
00:21:15,766 --> 00:21:18,765
WORLDS, I WILL REMIND YOU
OF YOUR PAIN EVERY DAY AND THUSLY
553
00:21:18,766 --> 00:21:19,765
MAKE YOU ALL A BETTER PERSON.
554
00:21:19,766 --> 00:21:21,765
[ CHILDREN CHEER ] HERE YOU GO,
555
00:21:21,766 --> 00:21:22,765
LITTLE ORPHAN WILLIS.
556
00:21:22,766 --> 00:21:25,765
YOUR PARENTS WERE KILLED
IN A CAR CRASH, SO HERE'S A 1966
557
00:21:25,766 --> 00:21:27,765
COUPE DeVILLE, THE SAME MAKE
AND MODEL THEY BURNED TO DEATH IN.
558
00:21:27,766 --> 00:21:29,765
>> [ WHIMPERS ] >> Black Dynamite: HERE YOU GO,
559
00:21:29,766 --> 00:21:31,765
LITTLE ORPHAN PENNY.
560
00:21:31,766 --> 00:21:33,765
YOUR MAMA WAS A HEROIN JUNKIE,
SO WE GOT YOU A DOLL WITH HOLES
561
00:21:33,766 --> 00:21:35,765
IN THE ARMS TO REMIND YOU OF
WHY YOU WILL NEVER SEE HER AGAIN.
562
00:21:35,766 --> 00:21:37,765
>> [ SOBBING ] >> Black Dynamite: AND,
563
00:21:37,766 --> 00:21:40,765
LITTLE ORPHAN STEVIE, WE GOT
YOU A PAIR OF TRACK SHOES TO REMIND
564
00:21:40,766 --> 00:21:42,765
YOU OF HOW QUICK YOUR DADDY RAN OUT OF YOUR LIFE.
565
00:21:42,766 --> 00:21:44,765
>> [ SOBBING ] >> Black Dynamite: HA HA!
566
00:21:44,766 --> 00:21:46,765
NOW, ISN'T THIS THE BEST BIRTHDAY Y'ALL EVER HAD?
567
00:21:46,766 --> 00:21:48,765
>> Honey Bee: DAMN IT, BLACK - UGH!
568
00:21:48,766 --> 00:21:52,765
[ CHILDREN SOBBING ] >> Black Dynamite: WHAT?
569
00:21:52,766 --> 00:21:56,765
>> ♪ DYNAMITE! DYNAMITE! [ SOBBING CONTINUES ]
570
00:21:56,766 --> 00:21:59,765
♪ DYNAMITE! DYNAMITE! >> HEY, BLACK DYNAMITE!
571
00:21:59,766 --> 00:22:01,765
YOU AIN'T SHIT
572
00:22:01,766 --> 00:22:04,766
♪♪♪
573
00:22:04,816 --> 00:22:09,366
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