All language subtitles for A.P.Bio.S03E08_English

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:07,610 2 00:00:07,640 --> 00:00:11,080 [soft music] 3 00:00:12,178 --> 00:00:13,308 - The gifted young lady didn't know what to do. 4 00:00:13,346 --> 00:00:16,446 Should she fly off to Hollywood for the big audition? 5 00:00:16,483 --> 00:00:18,323 Or should she stay in Toledo 6 00:00:18,351 --> 00:00:21,351 for a high-school production of "Damn Yankees?" 7 00:00:21,388 --> 00:00:22,688 So she asked her father. 8 00:00:22,722 --> 00:00:25,192 And her father replied, 9 00:00:25,225 --> 00:00:27,455 "What do you think is the right decision?" 10 00:00:27,494 --> 00:00:29,464 And she answered... 11 00:00:29,496 --> 00:00:32,726 all: I think I made a commitment... 12 00:00:32,766 --> 00:00:35,566 So I probably can't break that. 13 00:00:35,602 --> 00:00:37,172 - Yes, children! 14 00:00:37,203 --> 00:00:38,743 - But what about the big audition? 15 00:00:38,772 --> 00:00:40,472 - Why, she taped it herself 16 00:00:40,507 --> 00:00:42,507 and mailed it off to Los Angeles. 17 00:00:42,542 --> 00:00:44,312 Eh, it was a long shot. 18 00:00:44,344 --> 00:00:46,284 But if you don't dream... 19 00:00:46,312 --> 00:00:51,752 all: You'll never know if your dreams can happen. 20 00:00:51,785 --> 00:00:54,745 And when Kevin Williamson from the WB received the tape, 21 00:00:54,788 --> 00:00:57,658 he knew he had found his star. 22 00:00:57,691 --> 00:01:00,161 And the tomboy, best-friend role 23 00:01:00,193 --> 00:01:02,563 of little Joey Potter on "Dawson's Creek" 24 00:01:02,595 --> 00:01:05,225 would be played by Toledo's very own 25 00:01:05,265 --> 00:01:07,695 Katie Holmes. all: Yay! 26 00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:09,244 [Ramones' "Listen to My Heart"] 27 00:01:09,269 --> 00:01:10,599 - One, two, three, four! 28 00:01:10,637 --> 00:01:13,267 - ♪ Next time, I'll listen to my heart ♪ 29 00:01:13,306 --> 00:01:15,776 ♪ Next time, well, I'll be smart ♪ 30 00:01:15,809 --> 00:01:22,779 ♪ 31 00:01:22,816 --> 00:01:24,376 - Good morning, Whitlock, 32 00:01:24,417 --> 00:01:26,517 and a happy Katie Holmes Day Eve to you all. 33 00:01:26,553 --> 00:01:28,693 Tomorrow night the city of Toledo 34 00:01:28,722 --> 00:01:31,762 will hold the annual Katie Holmes Day Pageant. 35 00:01:31,791 --> 00:01:35,261 Please donate any items you can for the rummage sale. 36 00:01:35,295 --> 00:01:37,695 All proceeds go to the local orphanage. 37 00:01:37,731 --> 00:01:40,401 And as always, dream big. 38 00:01:40,433 --> 00:01:41,433 Katie did. 39 00:01:44,204 --> 00:01:46,444 - Are you sure you want to give your boys away? 40 00:01:46,473 --> 00:01:47,743 - I think they're worth a bunch. 41 00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:50,514 So who am I to keep this from happening? 42 00:01:50,543 --> 00:01:52,353 - Oh. 43 00:01:52,379 --> 00:01:54,709 [indistinct chatter] 44 00:01:54,748 --> 00:01:56,678 [sighs] 45 00:01:58,318 --> 00:01:59,518 [sighs] 46 00:02:02,822 --> 00:02:05,262 Katie provides. [chuckles] 47 00:02:05,291 --> 00:02:08,231 [upbeat folk music] 48 00:02:08,261 --> 00:02:12,671 ♪ 49 00:02:12,699 --> 00:02:15,669 ♪ See the Katie, hear her sing ♪ 50 00:02:15,702 --> 00:02:18,712 ♪ In every musical, fall and spring ♪ 51 00:02:18,738 --> 00:02:21,708 ♪ She had a commitment she couldn't break ♪ 52 00:02:21,741 --> 00:02:24,441 ♪ So she sent a tape 53 00:02:24,477 --> 00:02:26,847 ♪ 54 00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:29,550 - I can't believe it's already Katie Holmes Eve. 55 00:02:29,582 --> 00:02:31,322 I barely slept last night. 56 00:02:31,351 --> 00:02:34,491 - Oh, me neither! I knutted all night. 57 00:02:34,521 --> 00:02:35,521 - Don't you mean knit? 58 00:02:35,555 --> 00:02:36,585 - Yeah, past tense. 59 00:02:36,623 --> 00:02:38,293 You don't say, "I digged a hole." 60 00:02:38,324 --> 00:02:40,394 Anyway, I could not sleep. 61 00:02:40,427 --> 00:02:42,327 And so I knutted for hours. 62 00:02:42,362 --> 00:02:44,602 And usually when I knut, you know, I fall straight asleep. 63 00:02:44,631 --> 00:02:47,371 But I was so excited, I just knutted again. 64 00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:48,600 - Sounds like me this weekend. 65 00:02:48,635 --> 00:02:49,735 - I don't get it. 66 00:02:49,769 --> 00:02:51,299 - Good morning, everybody. 67 00:02:51,338 --> 00:02:52,608 Hey, where do I drop off these donations? 68 00:02:52,639 --> 00:02:53,739 - Oh, I'll take those. 69 00:02:53,773 --> 00:02:54,743 - Yeah? Great. 70 00:02:54,774 --> 00:02:55,784 - Whoa, "Pieces of April." 71 00:02:55,809 --> 00:02:57,509 Nice. - Oh. 72 00:02:57,544 --> 00:02:59,784 - Very on-brand for our Katie Holmes Day rummage sale. 73 00:02:59,813 --> 00:03:03,323 - What do you mean-- No. This is a real thing? 74 00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:05,620 Katie Holmes Day? 75 00:03:05,652 --> 00:03:07,392 You're t--so all of Toledo 76 00:03:07,420 --> 00:03:09,690 is just sort of unironically celebrating an actress 77 00:03:09,723 --> 00:03:12,293 who's face, you know, to be quite honest, 78 00:03:12,325 --> 00:03:13,625 I have trouble remembering? 79 00:03:13,660 --> 00:03:15,560 She's just like a--like a... 80 00:03:15,595 --> 00:03:17,355 an adorable white girl with like a... 81 00:03:17,397 --> 00:03:19,497 you know, just a face and hair and eyes. 82 00:03:19,532 --> 00:03:20,532 - Yeah, that's her. 83 00:03:20,567 --> 00:03:21,627 - Oh, my God. That's right. 84 00:03:21,668 --> 00:03:22,698 You've been gone 20 years. 85 00:03:22,736 --> 00:03:25,366 You don't know anything about Katie Holmes Day. 86 00:03:25,405 --> 00:03:28,705 It's--it's a celebration of--of dream and wonder. 87 00:03:28,742 --> 00:03:31,642 You're gonna hate it. 88 00:03:31,678 --> 00:03:34,308 - Happy Katie Holmes Day Eve, Jack. 89 00:03:34,347 --> 00:03:35,717 [all chuckling] - Yeah. 90 00:03:35,749 --> 00:03:38,649 - Listen, I need the keys to the driver's ed car. 91 00:03:38,685 --> 00:03:41,645 It's the base for the float in our Katie Holmes Day parade. 92 00:03:41,688 --> 00:03:44,488 The student council made a replica 93 00:03:44,524 --> 00:03:46,364 out of papier-mâché of the Buick 94 00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:47,893 that Katie drove in high school. 95 00:03:47,927 --> 00:03:50,457 - Well, you know, the driver's ed car is a Buick, 96 00:03:50,497 --> 00:03:52,527 so you could just drive that. 97 00:03:52,565 --> 00:03:56,535 [all laughing] 98 00:03:56,569 --> 00:03:58,839 - [laughing] That's so funny, Jack. 99 00:03:58,872 --> 00:04:01,472 Hers was a '94 with a dent in the hood. 100 00:04:01,508 --> 00:04:03,578 - The 2007 Buick 101 00:04:03,610 --> 00:04:05,880 does not represent Katie's humble beginnings. 102 00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:08,422 [all laughing] - Okay. 103 00:04:08,448 --> 00:04:09,748 - A Holmes on your head. 104 00:04:09,783 --> 00:04:11,893 - Nope. - Oh. 105 00:04:11,918 --> 00:04:13,418 [phone ringing] 106 00:04:13,453 --> 00:04:14,823 - Whitlock High? 107 00:04:14,854 --> 00:04:16,964 It's Mayor Wade CupsofCabbage. 108 00:04:16,990 --> 00:04:18,590 - I'll take it in my office. 109 00:04:18,625 --> 00:04:22,655 [suspenseful music] 110 00:04:22,696 --> 00:04:25,696 Mayor CupsofCabbage. Hey-- 111 00:04:25,732 --> 00:04:29,472 Yes, you--you want me to be in the--in the pageant? 112 00:04:29,502 --> 00:04:31,572 [mouthing words] 113 00:04:31,604 --> 00:04:35,514 Yes--yes, it would be an honor to play Kevin Williamson, 114 00:04:35,542 --> 00:04:38,452 the man who launched Katie Holmes's career. 115 00:04:38,478 --> 00:04:40,908 And I will not let you down this time. 116 00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:41,977 [phone receiver clatters] 117 00:04:42,015 --> 00:04:43,575 He's giving me a second chance. 118 00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:44,876 - Yes! 119 00:04:44,918 --> 00:04:46,888 - What if I choke? - You can do this, Ralph. 120 00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:48,690 I believe in you. 121 00:04:48,722 --> 00:04:50,992 It is just one line. It's ten words. 122 00:04:51,024 --> 00:04:52,734 "Hello, Katie. 123 00:04:52,759 --> 00:04:55,629 You are Joey Potter. Welcome to 'Dawson's Creek.'" 124 00:04:55,662 --> 00:04:57,802 You need to immerse yourself in this character. 125 00:04:57,831 --> 00:05:00,501 For the next 24 hours, you're gonna be 126 00:05:00,533 --> 00:05:03,003 a Hollywood slick hotshot. 127 00:05:03,036 --> 00:05:04,796 - I don't know. 128 00:05:04,838 --> 00:05:06,538 Unless... 129 00:05:06,573 --> 00:05:08,843 ♪ 130 00:05:08,875 --> 00:05:10,575 California Raisin. 131 00:05:10,610 --> 00:05:14,480 - Oh! I've got goose bumps! 132 00:05:14,514 --> 00:05:17,954 Make me famous, Mr. Producer. 133 00:05:17,984 --> 00:05:21,594 ♪ 134 00:05:21,621 --> 00:05:22,721 - All right. 135 00:05:22,756 --> 00:05:25,556 Go ahead and shut all the way up. 136 00:05:25,592 --> 00:05:26,692 Where's my garbage? 137 00:05:26,726 --> 00:05:28,796 - We're using it as a bucket of fate. 138 00:05:28,828 --> 00:05:31,728 - Yeah, in one bucket, there's sweet pudding, 139 00:05:31,765 --> 00:05:34,665 representing a tasty dream come true. 140 00:05:34,701 --> 00:05:36,701 And in the other, a baby crab-- 141 00:05:36,736 --> 00:05:38,706 its pinchers, a stark reminder 142 00:05:38,738 --> 00:05:40,868 that chasing your dreams can hurt. 143 00:05:40,907 --> 00:05:43,477 - Got it. 144 00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:44,980 - Sweet chocolate pudding! 145 00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:47,881 Papa's gonna be a backup singer for Lizzo! 146 00:05:47,914 --> 00:05:49,584 [cheers and applause] 147 00:05:49,616 --> 00:05:50,776 - [laughs] Guys. 148 00:05:50,817 --> 00:05:52,517 Ah, I got to say. 149 00:05:52,552 --> 00:05:54,722 This holiday is, uh-- and I don't say this lightly-- 150 00:05:54,754 --> 00:05:55,964 bonkers. 151 00:05:55,989 --> 00:05:58,019 - Point, counterpoint, Mr. Griffin, 152 00:05:58,058 --> 00:05:59,788 it's actually not. 153 00:05:59,826 --> 00:06:00,786 - Yeah. 154 00:06:00,827 --> 00:06:02,827 At 8:47 tomorrow night, 155 00:06:02,862 --> 00:06:04,802 you kiss someone on the forehead 156 00:06:04,831 --> 00:06:07,931 because that's when Katie had the talk with her wise dad 157 00:06:07,967 --> 00:06:09,967 which he ended with a forehead kiss. 158 00:06:10,003 --> 00:06:11,773 - Right. 159 00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:14,565 - The entire holiday culminates in a glorious pageant. 160 00:06:14,607 --> 00:06:15,877 I've always wanted to play Katie Holmes, 161 00:06:15,909 --> 00:06:16,979 and I think this is the year. 162 00:06:17,010 --> 00:06:18,080 - Oh. 163 00:06:18,111 --> 00:06:19,611 And we make wish lists addressed 164 00:06:19,646 --> 00:06:20,806 to Katie in Hollywood, 165 00:06:20,847 --> 00:06:21,977 put them in our shoes, 166 00:06:22,015 --> 00:06:23,745 and leave them in our front porches. 167 00:06:23,783 --> 00:06:24,983 - And the next morning, 168 00:06:25,018 --> 00:06:27,618 there's a fresh blueberry muffin in each shoe. 169 00:06:27,654 --> 00:06:29,764 - So shoe muffins. 170 00:06:29,789 --> 00:06:31,089 Got it. Yeah. 171 00:06:31,124 --> 00:06:32,094 And you all do this? 172 00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:33,555 - Oh. Not me. 173 00:06:33,593 --> 00:06:34,933 I don't celebrate Katie Holmes Day. 174 00:06:34,961 --> 00:06:36,701 - Oh, finally, a sane person. 175 00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:38,570 - My family celebrates Jamie Farr Day. 176 00:06:38,598 --> 00:06:41,498 My dad says that's Toledo's original top celebrity. 177 00:06:41,534 --> 00:06:44,574 - So there's also a Klinger from "MASH" holiday. 178 00:06:44,604 --> 00:06:46,014 - A world without Katie Holmes Day 179 00:06:46,039 --> 00:06:47,769 is a world I don't want to live in. 180 00:06:47,807 --> 00:06:50,777 - I like the sound of that. 181 00:06:50,810 --> 00:06:52,650 Tell me more of these traditions. 182 00:06:52,679 --> 00:06:55,749 [dramatic music] 183 00:06:55,782 --> 00:06:57,082 ♪ 184 00:06:57,117 --> 00:06:59,687 - Sorry I'm late. - Damn, girl. 185 00:06:59,719 --> 00:07:02,859 A 55-inch flat screen TV? - Oh-- 186 00:07:02,889 --> 00:07:04,719 - That is gonna bring in so much money. 187 00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:05,888 Forget porridge. 188 00:07:05,925 --> 00:07:06,985 Those orphans are about to have some 189 00:07:07,027 --> 00:07:09,127 R-r-r-r-regular soup. - Okay! 190 00:07:09,162 --> 00:07:10,862 - Uh, actually, this is-- 191 00:07:10,897 --> 00:07:12,597 - A gift from an angel. 192 00:07:12,632 --> 00:07:14,872 - [exhales awkwardly] That is so sweet. 193 00:07:14,901 --> 00:07:17,671 But it--it's not a big deal. 194 00:07:17,704 --> 00:07:18,744 - And she's humble. - Mm. 195 00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:19,772 - Amazing. 196 00:07:19,806 --> 00:07:20,906 Mommy Warbucks. - Mm-hmm. 197 00:07:20,940 --> 00:07:22,810 A regular Mother Toledo. 198 00:07:22,842 --> 00:07:23,982 - Oh. 199 00:07:24,010 --> 00:07:26,550 - [cackling] Yes. 200 00:07:26,579 --> 00:07:27,749 Yeah--oh, good. 201 00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:29,621 Very good. 202 00:07:29,649 --> 00:07:31,889 Yes. 203 00:07:31,918 --> 00:07:33,918 - I'd like to believe you have a genuine interest 204 00:07:33,953 --> 00:07:35,163 in this beloved holiday, 205 00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:36,918 but your maniacal cackling 206 00:07:36,956 --> 00:07:39,156 has made me fear you're planning something nefarious. 207 00:07:39,192 --> 00:07:41,932 - Your fears are... 208 00:07:41,961 --> 00:07:43,661 completely founded. 209 00:07:43,697 --> 00:07:46,097 - Oh, I just thought of another tradition. 210 00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:48,602 It's the one where people who don't love the holiday 211 00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:49,695 just don't participate, 212 00:07:49,736 --> 00:07:51,906 and let the ones that really [bleep] love it enjoy it. 213 00:07:53,907 --> 00:07:55,177 - Can we swear now? 214 00:07:55,208 --> 00:07:56,608 [cell phone vibrating] 215 00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:57,813 - Oh, shut up. Shut up. 216 00:07:57,844 --> 00:08:00,614 Shut up, everybody. Shut up. [phone continues vibrating] 217 00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:03,017 Oh, Mayor CupsofCabbage, what a pleasant surprise. 218 00:08:04,684 --> 00:08:06,594 I'm sorry. Come again. 219 00:08:07,220 --> 00:08:10,090 And a-a third time, 'cause it's insane. 220 00:08:10,123 --> 00:08:11,563 I see. 221 00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:17,558 [straining] 222 00:08:19,733 --> 00:08:21,703 - I don't think that's coming off. 223 00:08:23,937 --> 00:08:25,937 - That dumb-ass mayor cast me 224 00:08:25,972 --> 00:08:28,712 as the lame WB assistant in the stupid pageant 225 00:08:28,742 --> 00:08:30,882 for the sixth year in a row. 226 00:08:30,910 --> 00:08:34,680 - Well, to be fair, you do give off strong assistant vibes. 227 00:08:34,714 --> 00:08:36,684 - Just once I want to be Katie 228 00:08:36,716 --> 00:08:38,916 and say the big final line. 229 00:08:38,952 --> 00:08:40,092 It's bullshit. 230 00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:42,820 - That's one A-word, one F-word, 231 00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:44,686 and one B-S-H word. 232 00:08:44,724 --> 00:08:46,164 - Guys, Marissa's right, all right? 233 00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:47,892 This holiday is a complete sham. 234 00:08:47,927 --> 00:08:49,827 - Mr. Griffin, is it fair to say 235 00:08:49,863 --> 00:08:52,133 that you have an especially large chip on your shoulder 236 00:08:52,165 --> 00:08:54,225 because a Toledoan from your peer group 237 00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:57,837 went on to achieve her dreams and you're, you know, here? 238 00:08:57,871 --> 00:08:58,971 - No, Marcus. 239 00:08:59,005 --> 00:09:00,865 My problem is that you all believe 240 00:09:00,907 --> 00:09:03,707 a doe-eyed actress can make your dreams come true. 241 00:09:03,743 --> 00:09:05,853 It doesn't work that way. W-w-watch. 242 00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:07,979 Please, Katie Holmes, 243 00:09:08,014 --> 00:09:10,854 let me spend five more minutes with my dead mother. 244 00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:13,954 [soft music] 245 00:09:13,987 --> 00:09:16,717 Did she--is she here? My mother, is she here? 246 00:09:16,756 --> 00:09:18,726 Oh, she isn't? Yeah-- No, Because it doesn't work. 247 00:09:18,758 --> 00:09:20,128 - Well, give her time. 248 00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:22,160 She has thousands of homes to visit. 249 00:09:22,195 --> 00:09:24,255 - Marissa... 250 00:09:24,297 --> 00:09:27,827 we're gonna destroy Katie Holmes Day. 251 00:09:27,867 --> 00:09:30,637 - Holy shit ass dick fart. 252 00:09:35,108 --> 00:09:35,278 . 253 00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:38,208 [dramatic music] 254 00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:39,108 ♪ 255 00:09:39,145 --> 00:09:42,015 [engine turning over] 256 00:09:42,048 --> 00:09:43,778 - Let's do this. 257 00:09:43,817 --> 00:09:47,017 ♪ 258 00:09:47,053 --> 00:09:48,123 [school bell ringing] 259 00:09:48,154 --> 00:09:51,064 - Ralph, the football team wants real energy drinks. 260 00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:53,861 They figured out that Gatorade Clear's just water. 261 00:09:53,893 --> 00:09:55,933 - That's it. 262 00:09:55,962 --> 00:09:57,132 A football show. 263 00:09:57,163 --> 00:09:58,833 I can see it now. 264 00:09:58,865 --> 00:10:00,065 - [imitating spoiled daughter] Oh, pwetty pwease, 265 00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:03,040 can I be in your sports show? 266 00:10:03,069 --> 00:10:04,769 [normal voice] I'm your spoiled daughter 267 00:10:04,804 --> 00:10:06,214 that benefits from your success. 268 00:10:06,239 --> 00:10:08,339 [imitating daughter] Come on. - Oh, of course, princess. 269 00:10:08,375 --> 00:10:10,075 Give me some of that sugar that Daddy likes. 270 00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:12,110 - Oh. Mwah! 271 00:10:12,145 --> 00:10:14,945 - This feels like an HR trap. 272 00:10:14,981 --> 00:10:18,021 [indistinct chatter] 273 00:10:18,051 --> 00:10:19,851 - Oh. For reals? 274 00:10:19,886 --> 00:10:21,086 An old Garfield phone? 275 00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:23,221 Mary, can you believe this? 276 00:10:23,256 --> 00:10:25,256 - Uh, I cannot, Stephanie. 277 00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:27,161 Considering this queen right here 278 00:10:27,193 --> 00:10:29,203 just donated a flat screen TV 279 00:10:29,229 --> 00:10:31,299 for the Katie Holmes Day rummage sale. 280 00:10:31,331 --> 00:10:34,071 - I think the phone's fun. 281 00:10:34,100 --> 00:10:36,870 - Hello, Garfield? Oh, well, it's me, an orphan. 282 00:10:36,903 --> 00:10:38,843 Oh, you love lasagna? Funny. 283 00:10:38,872 --> 00:10:41,072 I've never had lasagna, and I never will 284 00:10:41,107 --> 00:10:42,977 because we didn't raise any damn money 285 00:10:43,009 --> 00:10:44,379 with your sorry-ass phone. 286 00:10:44,411 --> 00:10:47,381 [all laughing] 287 00:10:47,414 --> 00:10:50,354 Oh, and I am encouraged. Who's next? 288 00:10:50,383 --> 00:10:52,023 - Do me. Do me! 289 00:10:52,052 --> 00:10:53,822 I brought stained Tupperware. Ooh. 290 00:10:53,853 --> 00:10:55,263 Give it to me. 291 00:10:55,288 --> 00:10:57,158 - [imitating spoiled daughter] You said I'd be a star. 292 00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:59,130 You lied to me, Daddy. 293 00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:01,999 - It was never you. It was these pills! 294 00:11:02,028 --> 00:11:03,128 - [sobbing] 295 00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:05,803 - Hey. Can you sign off on payroll? 296 00:11:05,832 --> 00:11:08,032 - Intern, you're the star now. 297 00:11:08,068 --> 00:11:10,238 - Not sure what this is, but... 298 00:11:10,270 --> 00:11:11,370 I am in. 299 00:11:11,404 --> 00:11:14,314 Step aside, sister. 300 00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:17,381 [old-fashioned voice] ♪ Well, it's a big old trolley ♪ 301 00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:19,080 ♪ Coming around the bend 302 00:11:19,112 --> 00:11:21,252 - And feast your peepers on something you never had-- 303 00:11:21,281 --> 00:11:22,881 talent! 304 00:11:22,916 --> 00:11:24,046 [cackles] 305 00:11:24,084 --> 00:11:26,254 Faster. [cackling] 306 00:11:26,286 --> 00:11:28,956 both: Ha ha! Yes. [laughter] 307 00:11:28,988 --> 00:11:30,818 - Oh, who we got up next? 308 00:11:30,857 --> 00:11:32,087 - [chuckles] I drew this. 309 00:11:32,125 --> 00:11:36,055 It's, uh, Catty Holmes from "Pawson's Creek." 310 00:11:37,430 --> 00:11:38,930 [chuckles nervously] 311 00:11:38,965 --> 00:11:42,095 - Oh, wow. Dave, we love it. 312 00:11:42,135 --> 00:11:43,895 - Yeah? Really? 313 00:11:43,937 --> 00:11:45,937 - This is original art. It's really good. 314 00:11:45,972 --> 00:11:47,142 - We're gonna frame it 315 00:11:47,173 --> 00:11:48,943 and give it directly to the orphans 316 00:11:48,975 --> 00:11:50,905 and bring a little joy into their lives. 317 00:11:50,944 --> 00:11:52,284 - Really? 318 00:11:52,312 --> 00:11:54,912 both: Hell, no! Boom! 319 00:11:54,948 --> 00:11:57,018 [all laughing] 320 00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:59,890 - And that is our time, all right? 321 00:11:59,919 --> 00:12:01,449 So feel free to join us tomorrow 322 00:12:01,488 --> 00:12:02,988 at the rummage sale 323 00:12:03,023 --> 00:12:05,093 and come and witness the chump change 324 00:12:05,125 --> 00:12:08,185 that your crappy-ass donations will surely bring in. 325 00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:09,228 - Yeah. [laughter] 326 00:12:09,262 --> 00:12:10,462 - Ooh, ooh. 327 00:12:10,497 --> 00:12:12,927 And stick around for our first-ever live auction, 328 00:12:12,966 --> 00:12:15,166 where you'll get the opportunity to make a bid 329 00:12:15,201 --> 00:12:17,341 on the greatest donation of all time. 330 00:12:17,370 --> 00:12:18,910 You know what it is? 331 00:12:18,938 --> 00:12:22,008 all: This TV right here! 332 00:12:22,042 --> 00:12:24,942 [cheers and applause] 333 00:12:28,048 --> 00:12:29,218 - Yeah-- 334 00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:30,419 - No, no, no! No. 335 00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:33,320 Oh, I-I got it. I-I want to carry it myself. 336 00:12:33,353 --> 00:12:35,963 Uh, for the children. 337 00:12:35,989 --> 00:12:38,889 Okay. 338 00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:40,985 [groaning] Legs! 339 00:12:41,027 --> 00:12:43,897 [Tom Waits' "Telephone Call from Istanbul"] 340 00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:50,040 ♪ 341 00:12:51,538 --> 00:12:55,908 - ♪ I was all night long on the broken glass ♪ 342 00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:57,942 ♪ Living in a medicine chest 343 00:12:57,977 --> 00:13:00,447 ♪ Mediteromanian hotel back 344 00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:03,120 ♪ Sprawled across a roll-top desk ♪ 345 00:13:03,149 --> 00:13:04,519 ♪ My pet old monkey rode a blade ♪ 346 00:13:04,551 --> 00:13:07,121 ♪ On an overhead fan 347 00:13:07,153 --> 00:13:09,363 ♪ They paint the donkey blue if you pay ♪ 348 00:13:09,389 --> 00:13:12,489 ♪ I got a telephone call from Istanbul ♪ 349 00:13:12,525 --> 00:13:15,125 ♪ My baby's coming home today ♪ 350 00:13:15,161 --> 00:13:17,301 ♪ Will you sell me one of those ♪ 351 00:13:17,330 --> 00:13:18,400 ♪ If I shave my head? 352 00:13:18,431 --> 00:13:21,401 ♪ "Get me out of town" is what Fireball said ♪ 353 00:13:21,434 --> 00:13:24,404 ♪ Never trust a man in a blue trench coat ♪ 354 00:13:24,437 --> 00:13:26,367 ♪ Never drive a car when you're dead ♪ 355 00:13:26,406 --> 00:13:28,336 - [cackling] 356 00:13:28,375 --> 00:13:31,335 - ♪ Saturday's a festival, oh, now Saturday's a gem ♪ 357 00:13:31,378 --> 00:13:33,408 [both cackling] 358 00:13:33,446 --> 00:13:36,276 ♪ Follow me to Beulah's on Dry Creek Road ♪ 359 00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:39,286 ♪ I got to wear the hat that my baby done sewed ♪ 360 00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:41,989 ♪ 361 00:13:42,022 --> 00:13:43,292 [school bell ringing] - Good morning, Whitlock. 362 00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:45,433 In honor of Katie Holmes Day, 363 00:13:45,458 --> 00:13:48,398 I am going to climb in through this window, 364 00:13:48,428 --> 00:13:51,298 just like Katie did on "Dawson's Creek." 365 00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:55,041 So... here we go. 366 00:13:55,068 --> 00:13:58,508 Okay. Oh. 367 00:13:58,538 --> 00:14:00,538 [grunts] 368 00:14:00,573 --> 00:14:03,513 Okay. Ah. 369 00:14:03,543 --> 00:14:06,183 Ow, my keys! Oh, God. 370 00:14:06,212 --> 00:14:08,182 Okay. Okay. 371 00:14:08,214 --> 00:14:10,484 [grunting] 372 00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:14,047 Oh, my God. [grunts] 373 00:14:14,087 --> 00:14:17,087 Well, I come bearing bad news. 374 00:14:17,123 --> 00:14:20,293 The school's Buick float for the Katie Day parade 375 00:14:20,326 --> 00:14:22,456 has been stolen. 376 00:14:22,495 --> 00:14:25,495 So, instead, I ask all of you 377 00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:28,402 to walk in the parade arm in arm. 378 00:14:28,435 --> 00:14:32,235 Let's make tonight the best Katie Holmes Day pageant ever! 379 00:14:33,506 --> 00:14:35,606 - Well, looks like someone unwittingly made 380 00:14:35,642 --> 00:14:37,442 the holiday even more heartwarming. 381 00:14:37,477 --> 00:14:40,047 - Oh, don't worry. There's so much more coming. 382 00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:42,480 - Last night my shoes were stolen from my porch. 383 00:14:42,515 --> 00:14:46,315 And lo, not two, but three muffins. 384 00:14:46,353 --> 00:14:47,593 - No, no. 385 00:14:47,620 --> 00:14:50,120 No, you said that you put the wishes in the shoes, 386 00:14:50,156 --> 00:14:52,356 and then Katie turns the wishes into muffins. 387 00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:54,492 Ergo, no shoes, no muffins. 388 00:14:54,527 --> 00:14:55,627 - [distantly] ♪ See the Katie 389 00:14:55,662 --> 00:14:57,532 ♪ Hear her sing 390 00:14:57,564 --> 00:14:59,274 ♪ And every musical - Yo. 391 00:14:59,299 --> 00:15:01,199 The jug band's singing a capella. 392 00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:03,244 - They sound smooth as hell. 393 00:15:03,269 --> 00:15:06,309 - Jug, you know that new sound you've been looking for? 394 00:15:06,339 --> 00:15:08,269 Well, listen to this. 395 00:15:08,308 --> 00:15:10,038 - Another miracle. 396 00:15:10,076 --> 00:15:13,506 Mr. Griffin, may we go bask in their newfound glory? 397 00:15:13,546 --> 00:15:16,646 - Feel free to leave my class at any time for any reason. 398 00:15:16,683 --> 00:15:22,593 ♪ 399 00:15:22,622 --> 00:15:25,432 - We took everything, and the day came. 400 00:15:25,458 --> 00:15:28,358 It came just the same. 401 00:15:28,395 --> 00:15:31,125 I'm gonna have to play WB assistant 402 00:15:31,164 --> 00:15:33,504 and say that stupid line the rest of my life. 403 00:15:35,301 --> 00:15:37,101 - What exactly is your line? 404 00:15:37,137 --> 00:15:39,037 - "Mr. Williamson will see you now." 405 00:15:41,307 --> 00:15:45,177 - So, if Katie doesn't meet with Mr. Williamson, 406 00:15:45,211 --> 00:15:48,211 then her dreams don't come true, and... 407 00:15:48,248 --> 00:15:50,148 if her dreams don't come true... 408 00:15:50,183 --> 00:15:53,353 - Then there's no Katie Holmes Day. 409 00:15:53,386 --> 00:15:55,686 - [laughing wickedly] 410 00:15:55,722 --> 00:15:58,222 Yeah. 411 00:16:00,126 --> 00:16:02,296 - Well, hey, now. We all know why we're here. 412 00:16:02,328 --> 00:16:06,298 Please give it up for Michelle Patricia Jones 413 00:16:06,332 --> 00:16:08,542 and her donation of... 414 00:16:08,568 --> 00:16:11,238 all: This TV right here! 415 00:16:11,271 --> 00:16:14,411 [all cheering] 416 00:16:14,441 --> 00:16:15,581 - [sighs] I'm dead. 417 00:16:15,608 --> 00:16:17,578 I'm dead. I'm dead. 418 00:16:17,610 --> 00:16:20,450 - We will start the bidding at $500. 419 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,550 Ooh, okay. We have $500. 420 00:16:22,582 --> 00:16:25,422 Now do I see a $550? 421 00:16:25,452 --> 00:16:27,452 $550 from Where's Waldo over there. 422 00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:30,387 And, Waldo, hey. I see you, okay? 423 00:16:30,423 --> 00:16:32,563 $550 going once. 424 00:16:32,592 --> 00:16:35,202 Going twice... 425 00:16:35,228 --> 00:16:36,728 - $600! 426 00:16:36,763 --> 00:16:39,503 - Okay--ladies and gentlemen, I do not believe this. 427 00:16:39,532 --> 00:16:42,742 But this queen right here is bidding on her own donation! 428 00:16:42,769 --> 00:16:44,739 - $700! 429 00:16:44,771 --> 00:16:46,411 - $750! 430 00:16:46,439 --> 00:16:48,339 - $1,000! 431 00:16:48,375 --> 00:16:50,705 [crowd murmuring] 432 00:16:50,744 --> 00:16:53,384 $1,000 of my own money. 433 00:16:53,413 --> 00:16:54,613 both: Sold! 434 00:16:54,647 --> 00:16:56,477 [cheers and applause] 435 00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:59,516 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. [muttering angrily] 436 00:17:05,658 --> 00:17:08,458 [doorbell rings] 437 00:17:08,495 --> 00:17:10,625 - A blessed day. 438 00:17:10,663 --> 00:17:12,733 I just bought this holiday classic 439 00:17:12,766 --> 00:17:14,426 at the rummage sale. 440 00:17:14,467 --> 00:17:15,637 And much to my surprise, 441 00:17:15,669 --> 00:17:19,269 the tape inside-- it's an old home video. 442 00:17:19,305 --> 00:17:21,165 Might you have the movie 443 00:17:21,207 --> 00:17:23,377 I so graciously purchased for $1.50? 444 00:17:23,410 --> 00:17:24,710 - Nope. 445 00:17:24,744 --> 00:17:26,784 Now, if you could so graciously get out of my way, 446 00:17:26,813 --> 00:17:28,253 I've got a pageant to destroy. 447 00:17:28,281 --> 00:17:29,521 - Wait a minute. 448 00:17:29,549 --> 00:17:31,619 That's no way to speak to a fellow Toledoan 449 00:17:31,651 --> 00:17:33,451 on Katie Holmes Day. 450 00:17:33,486 --> 00:17:36,286 - Okay, you big baby man. You want your money? 451 00:17:36,322 --> 00:17:37,692 There's your money. 452 00:17:37,724 --> 00:17:39,664 - I don't want money. 453 00:17:39,693 --> 00:17:41,663 I want "Pieces of April." 454 00:17:41,695 --> 00:17:43,255 - [laughs] 455 00:17:43,296 --> 00:17:44,556 I don't know what to tell you, man. 456 00:17:52,305 --> 00:17:54,505 Hey, how'd you know where I... 457 00:17:54,541 --> 00:17:56,641 live? 458 00:17:58,578 --> 00:18:00,578 [grunts] 459 00:18:06,219 --> 00:18:07,619 - Hi, Jacky. 460 00:18:07,654 --> 00:18:09,494 I just wanted to wish you good luck 461 00:18:09,522 --> 00:18:11,422 at the science fair tomorrow. 462 00:18:11,458 --> 00:18:14,428 And I am so sorry that I'm going to missing it. 463 00:18:14,461 --> 00:18:17,561 I want you to know that you are a brilliant, talented, 464 00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:19,467 beautiful boy. 465 00:18:19,499 --> 00:18:22,439 And I have no doubt that you're going to do great. 466 00:18:22,469 --> 00:18:23,739 And you'll definitely beat 467 00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:25,570 that bullying mouth-breather Greg Miller. 468 00:18:26,906 --> 00:18:28,206 I mean, he's probably gonna present another potato clock. 469 00:18:28,675 --> 00:18:30,475 - [laughing] He did. 470 00:18:30,510 --> 00:18:32,680 - I'm so proud of you. 471 00:18:32,712 --> 00:18:34,382 I love you, Jacky. 472 00:18:34,414 --> 00:18:37,384 [somber music] 473 00:18:37,417 --> 00:18:42,457 ♪ 474 00:18:42,489 --> 00:18:45,429 - I'll be damned. 475 00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:48,458 You gave me five more minutes with my mom. 476 00:18:48,495 --> 00:18:50,855 [uplifting music] 477 00:18:50,897 --> 00:18:53,467 It's all real. 478 00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:55,670 ♪ 479 00:18:55,702 --> 00:18:57,802 I got to save Katie Holmes Day. 480 00:19:03,309 --> 00:19:03,479 . 481 00:19:03,510 --> 00:19:05,610 [light music] 482 00:19:06,179 --> 00:19:08,649 [indistinct chatter] 483 00:19:08,682 --> 00:19:11,422 ♪ 484 00:19:11,451 --> 00:19:13,491 So that was Katie's bedroom right up there. 485 00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:15,660 - Up there? - Yeah. 486 00:19:15,689 --> 00:19:16,789 - Hey, yo, yo, yo. Here they come. 487 00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:17,723 [door closes] Here they come. 488 00:19:17,757 --> 00:19:19,927 - Please stop. 489 00:19:19,959 --> 00:19:22,729 The Holmes family no longer lives here. 490 00:19:22,762 --> 00:19:25,472 We are the Goodmans. 491 00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:27,768 all: If we knew this would happen, 492 00:19:27,801 --> 00:19:31,571 we never would have bought this house. 493 00:19:31,604 --> 00:19:34,874 Seriously, stop! 494 00:19:34,908 --> 00:19:38,678 Please don't put us through this again. 495 00:19:38,712 --> 00:19:41,652 My condition has worsened. 496 00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:44,681 Please, go away! 497 00:19:44,718 --> 00:19:47,848 [cheers and applause] 498 00:19:47,887 --> 00:19:51,557 ♪ 499 00:19:51,591 --> 00:19:53,661 [brakes squeal] 500 00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:54,893 - All right. Coming through, everybody. 501 00:19:54,928 --> 00:19:56,558 [laughs] 502 00:19:56,596 --> 00:19:59,496 Happy Katie Holmes Day. Yeah. 503 00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:02,472 [indistinct chatter] 504 00:20:02,502 --> 00:20:06,772 ♪ 505 00:20:06,806 --> 00:20:08,936 [laughing, speaking indistinctly] 506 00:20:08,975 --> 00:20:10,875 ♪ 507 00:20:10,910 --> 00:20:15,350 [cheers and applause] 508 00:20:16,950 --> 00:20:19,850 - Okay, this is it. You got this. 509 00:20:19,886 --> 00:20:22,716 There's no Durbin. It's only Kevin. 510 00:20:22,756 --> 00:20:24,756 - Hi, I'm Katie Holmes. 511 00:20:24,791 --> 00:20:27,591 I'm here to meet with Mr. Williamson. 512 00:20:27,627 --> 00:20:29,797 - Mr. Williamson will... 513 00:20:32,532 --> 00:20:34,932 Not see you right now. He's out. 514 00:20:34,968 --> 00:20:36,838 [crowd gasping, exclaiming] 515 00:20:36,870 --> 00:20:38,570 - All right, coming through, coming through. 516 00:20:38,605 --> 00:20:40,005 All right, here we go. Coming through, guys. 517 00:20:40,040 --> 00:20:40,970 - Watch it. - Okay, coming through. 518 00:20:41,007 --> 00:20:42,537 - But we have a meeting. 519 00:20:42,575 --> 00:20:44,605 - Mm, he's at lunch. Go back home. 520 00:20:44,644 --> 00:20:46,614 - But I think I can see him. 521 00:20:46,646 --> 00:20:47,906 - Oh, ring, ring. 522 00:20:47,947 --> 00:20:50,777 Hello. Mm. 523 00:20:50,817 --> 00:20:52,647 Actually I just found out. - Uh... 524 00:20:52,686 --> 00:20:53,986 - Kevin Williamson's dead. 525 00:20:54,020 --> 00:20:55,660 [crowd gasps, exclaims] 526 00:20:55,689 --> 00:20:57,789 "Dawson's Creek" is canceled. 527 00:20:57,824 --> 00:20:59,034 Bah-bye. 528 00:20:59,059 --> 00:21:00,989 - Marissa, why? - Don't do this! 529 00:21:01,027 --> 00:21:02,897 - Let her meet him! 530 00:21:02,929 --> 00:21:05,629 - [grunts] Hello, everybody. 531 00:21:05,665 --> 00:21:08,535 Yeah--no, I'm, um... 532 00:21:08,568 --> 00:21:10,438 I'm Mr. Williamson's doctor. 533 00:21:10,470 --> 00:21:12,470 And he's very much alive. 534 00:21:12,505 --> 00:21:15,035 And, yeah, he's ready to meet Katie. 535 00:21:15,075 --> 00:21:17,535 [cheers and applause] 536 00:21:17,577 --> 00:21:19,647 - Ring, ring. Oh. 537 00:21:19,679 --> 00:21:22,649 Just found out. I'm the boss of Hollywood now. 538 00:21:22,682 --> 00:21:26,652 And my first act as queen is to banish Katie Holmes. 539 00:21:26,686 --> 00:21:29,016 - Please reconsider, Your Highness! 540 00:21:29,055 --> 00:21:32,655 - So, look, I've been trying to ruin Katie Holmes Day. 541 00:21:32,692 --> 00:21:34,532 [crowd murmuring] 542 00:21:34,561 --> 00:21:36,531 I ran around all of last night 543 00:21:36,563 --> 00:21:38,973 stealing children's shoes. 544 00:21:38,998 --> 00:21:40,968 Wow, it sounds insane when I say it out loud. 545 00:21:41,001 --> 00:21:42,901 Uh, but worst of all, 546 00:21:42,936 --> 00:21:46,606 I convinced this sweet, young girl here to st-- 547 00:21:46,639 --> 00:21:47,969 No, not you. 548 00:21:48,008 --> 00:21:50,778 I don't why she's--I don't-- I don't even know you. 549 00:21:50,810 --> 00:21:52,950 Yeah--no, I-I convinced Marissa here 550 00:21:52,979 --> 00:21:55,519 to stop believing in her dreams. 551 00:21:55,548 --> 00:21:58,818 Then I experienced the magic of Katie Holmes Day myself. 552 00:21:58,852 --> 00:22:00,952 You know, I had a dream, and my dream came true. 553 00:22:00,987 --> 00:22:02,787 And--and sure, you know. 554 00:22:02,822 --> 00:22:05,562 Big dreams can be a bit of a mirage, you know? 555 00:22:05,592 --> 00:22:07,692 Often planted in our capitalist minds 556 00:22:07,727 --> 00:22:10,057 by greedy corporations who-- - You're losing us! 557 00:22:10,096 --> 00:22:12,526 - Bottom line, um, 558 00:22:12,565 --> 00:22:14,895 Marissa's dream has always been to play Katie Holmes. 559 00:22:14,934 --> 00:22:17,004 And you think it would be all right 560 00:22:17,037 --> 00:22:19,807 if Marissa said the final line? 561 00:22:19,839 --> 00:22:21,039 Oh, that's great. 562 00:22:21,074 --> 00:22:23,014 Okay, here we go. 563 00:22:23,043 --> 00:22:27,483 Uh, Mr. Williamson, your 3:00 is here. 564 00:22:31,551 --> 00:22:32,991 - [clears throat] 565 00:22:33,019 --> 00:22:36,759 Katie, you are Joey Potter. Welcome to "Dawson's Creek." 566 00:22:36,790 --> 00:22:39,630 [cheers and applause] 567 00:22:39,659 --> 00:22:41,589 - He did it. 568 00:22:41,628 --> 00:22:43,128 The sweet son of a bitch did it. 569 00:22:43,163 --> 00:22:45,873 - Mr. Williamson, I have something to tell you. 570 00:22:45,899 --> 00:22:49,669 ♪ 571 00:22:49,703 --> 00:22:51,543 When the camera is rolling, 572 00:22:51,571 --> 00:22:53,971 I'll be this Joey Potter. 573 00:22:54,007 --> 00:22:56,007 But when you say "cut," 574 00:22:56,042 --> 00:22:59,612 I will return to and always be 575 00:22:59,646 --> 00:23:02,916 Toledo's very own Katie Holmes. 576 00:23:02,949 --> 00:23:05,589 - ♪ I don't want to wait [cheers and applause] 577 00:23:05,618 --> 00:23:07,948 - ♪ For our lives to be over 578 00:23:07,987 --> 00:23:10,087 ♪ I want to know right now 579 00:23:10,123 --> 00:23:13,763 - Hey, everyone look! It's 8:47! 580 00:23:13,793 --> 00:23:15,803 - ♪ I don't want to wait 581 00:23:15,829 --> 00:23:18,769 ♪ For our lives to be over 582 00:23:18,798 --> 00:23:19,968 - Mwah! 583 00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:21,870 - Aww. 584 00:23:21,901 --> 00:23:23,571 Oh. 585 00:23:23,603 --> 00:23:25,643 - Hey. [both laughing] 586 00:23:25,672 --> 00:23:27,642 - [vocalizing] 587 00:23:27,674 --> 00:23:29,044 - Oh. 588 00:23:29,075 --> 00:23:32,645 ♪ 589 00:23:32,679 --> 00:23:34,179 - Oh! 590 00:23:34,214 --> 00:23:38,594 - Mom, this year can you kiss my forehead? 591 00:23:38,618 --> 00:23:40,048 - Eat your beans. 592 00:23:40,086 --> 00:23:41,646 - ♪ On the rainy front step 593 00:23:41,688 --> 00:23:43,718 ♪ Wearing shrapnel in his skin ♪ 594 00:23:43,757 --> 00:23:45,627 - I hoped you'd come around to it. 595 00:23:45,658 --> 00:23:48,728 But I didn't think you'd make it a whole holiday special. 596 00:23:48,762 --> 00:23:49,902 Just-- - [laughs] 597 00:23:49,929 --> 00:23:51,599 - ♪ Lives inside him still 598 00:23:51,631 --> 00:23:56,601 ♪ It's so hard to be gentle and warm ♪ 599 00:23:56,636 --> 00:23:58,036 ♪ The years passed by 600 00:23:58,071 --> 00:24:02,211 ♪ And now he has granddaughters ♪ 601 00:24:02,242 --> 00:24:05,082 ♪ 602 00:24:05,111 --> 00:24:08,821 ♪ I don't want to wait for our lives... ♪ 603 00:24:08,848 --> 00:24:10,618 - Katie continued, 604 00:24:10,650 --> 00:24:13,990 "When you say 'cut,' I will return to and always be 605 00:24:14,020 --> 00:24:17,060 Toledo's very own Katie Holmes." 606 00:24:21,027 --> 00:24:24,227 "Granted, I won't always be playing Joey Potter. 607 00:24:24,264 --> 00:24:26,074 "So, when I'm doing another character, 608 00:24:26,099 --> 00:24:28,639 "the same rule applies. 609 00:24:28,668 --> 00:24:30,968 "When the camera's rolling, I am that character. 610 00:24:31,004 --> 00:24:32,844 "But when they yell 'cut,' 611 00:24:32,872 --> 00:24:36,182 I'm Katie Holmes from Toledo, Ohio!" 612 00:24:36,209 --> 00:24:38,679 [book closes] 613 00:24:38,712 --> 00:24:40,882 Okay, orphans. Off to bed. 614 00:24:40,914 --> 00:24:43,684 And tomorrow we'll be enjoying a feast of muffins, 615 00:24:43,717 --> 00:24:45,117 thanks to a large amount of money 616 00:24:45,151 --> 00:24:47,051 Whitlock High School raised for us. 617 00:24:47,087 --> 00:24:49,857 all: Yay! 618 00:24:49,889 --> 00:24:52,859 [upbeat holiday music] 619 00:24:52,892 --> 00:24:59,032 ♪ 43585

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.