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1
00:00:07,640 --> 00:00:11,077
[soft music]
2
00:00:12,178 --> 00:00:13,322
- The gifted young lady
didn't know what to do.
3
00:00:13,346 --> 00:00:16,449
Should she fly off to Hollywood
for the big audition?
4
00:00:16,483 --> 00:00:18,318
Or should she stay in Toledo
5
00:00:18,351 --> 00:00:21,354
for a high-school production
of "Damn Yankees?"
6
00:00:21,388 --> 00:00:22,689
So she asked her father.
7
00:00:22,722 --> 00:00:25,191
And her father replied,
8
00:00:25,225 --> 00:00:27,460
"What do you think
is the right decision?"
9
00:00:27,494 --> 00:00:29,462
And she answered...
10
00:00:29,496 --> 00:00:32,732
all:
I think I made a commitment...
11
00:00:32,766 --> 00:00:35,568
So I probably can't break that.
12
00:00:35,602 --> 00:00:37,170
- Yes, children!
13
00:00:37,203 --> 00:00:38,738
- But what
about the big audition?
14
00:00:38,772 --> 00:00:40,473
- Why, she taped it herself
15
00:00:40,507 --> 00:00:42,509
and mailed it off
to Los Angeles.
16
00:00:42,542 --> 00:00:44,310
Eh, it was a long shot.
17
00:00:44,344 --> 00:00:46,279
But if you don't dream...
18
00:00:46,312 --> 00:00:51,751
all: You'll never know
if your dreams can happen.
19
00:00:51,785 --> 00:00:54,754
And when Kevin Williamson
from the WB received the tape,
20
00:00:54,788 --> 00:00:57,657
he knew he had found his star.
21
00:00:57,691 --> 00:01:00,160
And the tomboy, best-friend role
22
00:01:00,193 --> 00:01:02,562
of little Joey Potter
on "Dawson's Creek"
23
00:01:02,595 --> 00:01:05,231
would be played
by Toledo's very own
24
00:01:05,265 --> 00:01:07,701
Katie Holmes.
All: Yay!
25
00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:09,235
[Ramones' "Listen to My Heart"]
26
00:01:09,269 --> 00:01:10,603
- One, two, three, four!
27
00:01:10,637 --> 00:01:13,273
- ♪ Next time,
I'll listen to my heart ♪
28
00:01:13,306 --> 00:01:15,775
♪ Next time,
well, I'll be smart ♪
29
00:01:15,809 --> 00:01:22,782
♪
30
00:01:22,816 --> 00:01:24,384
- Good morning, Whitlock,
31
00:01:24,417 --> 00:01:26,519
and a happy Katie Holmes
Day Eve to you all.
32
00:01:26,553 --> 00:01:28,688
Tomorrow night
the city of Toledo
33
00:01:28,722 --> 00:01:31,758
will hold the annual
Katie Holmes Day Pageant.
34
00:01:31,791 --> 00:01:35,261
Please donate any items you
can for the rummage sale.
35
00:01:35,295 --> 00:01:37,697
All proceeds go
to the local orphanage.
36
00:01:37,731 --> 00:01:40,400
And as always, dream big.
37
00:01:40,433 --> 00:01:41,434
Katie did.
38
00:01:44,204 --> 00:01:46,439
- Are you sure you want
to give your boys away?
39
00:01:46,473 --> 00:01:47,750
- I think they're worth a bunch.
40
00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:50,510
So who am I to keep
this from happening?
41
00:01:50,543 --> 00:01:52,345
- Oh.
42
00:01:52,379 --> 00:01:54,714
[indistinct chatter]
43
00:01:54,748 --> 00:01:56,683
[sighs]
44
00:01:58,318 --> 00:01:59,519
[sighs]
45
00:02:02,822 --> 00:02:05,258
Katie provides.
[chuckles]
46
00:02:05,291 --> 00:02:08,228
[upbeat folk music]
47
00:02:08,261 --> 00:02:12,665
♪
48
00:02:12,699 --> 00:02:15,669
♪ See the Katie,
hear her sing ♪
49
00:02:15,702 --> 00:02:18,705
♪ In every musical,
fall and spring ♪
50
00:02:18,738 --> 00:02:21,708
♪ She had a commitment
she couldn't break ♪
51
00:02:21,741 --> 00:02:24,444
♪ So she sent a tape
52
00:02:24,477 --> 00:02:26,846
♪
53
00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:29,549
- I can't believe it's
already Katie Holmes Eve.
54
00:02:29,582 --> 00:02:31,317
I barely slept last night.
55
00:02:31,351 --> 00:02:34,487
- Oh, me neither!
I knutted all night.
56
00:02:34,521 --> 00:02:35,522
- Don't you mean knit?
57
00:02:35,555 --> 00:02:36,589
- Yeah, past tense.
58
00:02:36,623 --> 00:02:38,291
You don't say,
"I digged a hole."
59
00:02:38,324 --> 00:02:40,393
Anyway, I could not sleep.
60
00:02:40,427 --> 00:02:42,328
And so I knutted for hours.
61
00:02:42,362 --> 00:02:44,607
And usually when I knut, you
know, I fall straight asleep.
62
00:02:44,631 --> 00:02:47,367
But I was so excited,
I just knutted again.
63
00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:48,601
- Sounds like me this weekend.
64
00:02:48,635 --> 00:02:49,736
- I don't get it.
65
00:02:49,769 --> 00:02:51,304
- Good morning, everybody.
66
00:02:51,338 --> 00:02:52,615
Hey, where do I drop off
these donations?
67
00:02:52,639 --> 00:02:53,740
- Oh, I'll take those.
68
00:02:53,773 --> 00:02:54,741
- Yeah?
Great.
69
00:02:54,774 --> 00:02:55,785
- Whoa, "Pieces of April."
70
00:02:55,809 --> 00:02:57,510
Nice.
- Oh.
71
00:02:57,544 --> 00:02:59,779
- Very on-brand for our
Katie Holmes Day rummage sale.
72
00:02:59,813 --> 00:03:03,316
- What do you mean...
No. This is a real thing?
73
00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:05,618
Katie Holmes Day?
74
00:03:05,652 --> 00:03:07,387
You're t... so all of Toledo
75
00:03:07,420 --> 00:03:09,689
is just sort of unironically
celebrating an actress
76
00:03:09,723 --> 00:03:12,292
who's face, you know,
to be quite honest,
77
00:03:12,325 --> 00:03:13,626
I have trouble remembering?
78
00:03:13,660 --> 00:03:15,562
She's just like a... like a...
79
00:03:15,595 --> 00:03:17,364
an adorable white girl
with like a...
80
00:03:17,397 --> 00:03:19,499
you know, just a face
and hair and eyes.
81
00:03:19,532 --> 00:03:20,533
- Yeah, that's her.
82
00:03:20,567 --> 00:03:21,634
- Oh, my God.
That's right.
83
00:03:21,668 --> 00:03:22,708
You've been gone 20 years.
84
00:03:22,736 --> 00:03:25,372
You don't know anything
about Katie Holmes Day.
85
00:03:25,405 --> 00:03:28,708
It's... it's a celebration
of... of dream and wonder.
86
00:03:28,742 --> 00:03:31,644
You're gonna hate it.
87
00:03:31,678 --> 00:03:34,314
- Happy Katie Holmes Day Eve,
Jack.
88
00:03:34,347 --> 00:03:35,715
[all chuckling]
- Yeah.
89
00:03:35,749 --> 00:03:38,651
- Listen, I need the keys
to the driver's ed car.
90
00:03:38,685 --> 00:03:41,654
It's the base for the float
in our Katie Holmes Day parade.
91
00:03:41,688 --> 00:03:44,491
The student council
made a replica
92
00:03:44,524 --> 00:03:46,359
out of papier-mâché of the Buick
93
00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:47,894
that Katie drove in high school.
94
00:03:47,927 --> 00:03:50,463
- Well, you know,
the driver's ed car is a Buick,
95
00:03:50,497 --> 00:03:52,532
so you could just drive that.
96
00:03:52,565 --> 00:03:56,536
[all laughing]
97
00:03:56,569 --> 00:03:58,838
- [laughing]
That's so funny, Jack.
98
00:03:58,872 --> 00:04:01,474
Hers was a '94
with a dent in the hood.
99
00:04:01,508 --> 00:04:03,576
- The 2007 Buick
100
00:04:03,610 --> 00:04:05,879
does not represent
Katie's humble beginnings.
101
00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:08,415
[all laughing]
- Okay.
102
00:04:08,448 --> 00:04:09,749
- A Holmes on your head.
103
00:04:09,783 --> 00:04:11,885
- Nope.
- Oh.
104
00:04:11,918 --> 00:04:13,420
[phone ringing]
105
00:04:13,453 --> 00:04:14,821
- Whitlock High?
106
00:04:14,854 --> 00:04:16,956
It's Mayor Wade CupsofCabbage.
107
00:04:16,990 --> 00:04:18,591
- I'll take it in my office.
108
00:04:18,625 --> 00:04:22,662
[suspenseful music]
109
00:04:22,696 --> 00:04:25,699
Mayor CupsofCabbage.
Hey...
110
00:04:25,732 --> 00:04:29,469
Yes, you... you want me to be
in the... in the pageant?
111
00:04:29,502 --> 00:04:31,571
[mouthing words]
112
00:04:31,604 --> 00:04:35,508
Yes... yes, it would be an honor
to play Kevin Williamson,
113
00:04:35,542 --> 00:04:38,445
the man who launched
Katie Holmes's career.
114
00:04:38,478 --> 00:04:40,914
And I will not
let you down this time.
115
00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:41,981
[phone receiver clatters]
116
00:04:42,015 --> 00:04:43,583
He's giving me a second chance.
117
00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:44,884
- Yes!
118
00:04:44,918 --> 00:04:46,886
- What if I choke?
- You can do this, Ralph.
119
00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:48,688
I believe in you.
120
00:04:48,722 --> 00:04:50,990
It is just one line.
It's ten words.
121
00:04:51,024 --> 00:04:52,726
"Hello, Katie.
122
00:04:52,759 --> 00:04:55,628
You are Joey Potter.
Welcome to 'Dawson's Creek.'"
123
00:04:55,662 --> 00:04:57,797
You need to immerse yourself
in this character.
124
00:04:57,831 --> 00:05:00,500
For the next 24 hours,
you're gonna be
125
00:05:00,533 --> 00:05:03,003
a Hollywood slick hotshot.
126
00:05:03,036 --> 00:05:04,804
- I don't know.
127
00:05:04,838 --> 00:05:06,539
Unless...
128
00:05:06,573 --> 00:05:08,842
♪
129
00:05:08,875 --> 00:05:10,577
California Raisin.
130
00:05:10,610 --> 00:05:14,481
- Oh!
I've got goose bumps!
131
00:05:14,514 --> 00:05:17,951
Make me famous, Mr. Producer.
132
00:05:17,984 --> 00:05:21,588
♪
133
00:05:21,621 --> 00:05:22,722
- All right.
134
00:05:22,756 --> 00:05:25,558
Go ahead and shut
all the way up.
135
00:05:25,592 --> 00:05:26,693
Where's my garbage?
136
00:05:26,726 --> 00:05:28,795
- We're using it
as a bucket of fate.
137
00:05:28,828 --> 00:05:31,731
- Yeah, in one bucket,
there's sweet pudding,
138
00:05:31,765 --> 00:05:34,668
representing
a tasty dream come true.
139
00:05:34,701 --> 00:05:36,703
And in the other, a baby crab...
140
00:05:36,736 --> 00:05:38,705
Its pinchers, a stark reminder
141
00:05:38,738 --> 00:05:40,874
that chasing your dreams
can hurt.
142
00:05:40,907 --> 00:05:43,476
- Got it.
143
00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:44,978
- Sweet chocolate pudding!
144
00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:47,881
Papa's gonna be
a backup singer for Lizzo!
145
00:05:47,914 --> 00:05:49,582
[cheers and applause]
146
00:05:49,616 --> 00:05:50,784
- [laughs] Guys.
147
00:05:50,817 --> 00:05:52,519
Ah, I got to say.
148
00:05:52,552 --> 00:05:54,721
This holiday is, uh...
And I don't say this lightly...
149
00:05:54,754 --> 00:05:55,955
Bonkers.
150
00:05:55,989 --> 00:05:58,024
- Point, counterpoint,
Mr. Griffin,
151
00:05:58,058 --> 00:05:59,793
it's actually not.
152
00:05:59,826 --> 00:06:00,794
- Yeah.
153
00:06:00,827 --> 00:06:02,829
At 8:47 tomorrow night,
154
00:06:02,862 --> 00:06:04,798
you kiss someone on the forehead
155
00:06:04,831 --> 00:06:07,934
because that's when Katie had
the talk with her wise dad
156
00:06:07,967 --> 00:06:09,969
which he ended
with a forehead kiss.
157
00:06:10,003 --> 00:06:11,771
- Right.
158
00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:14,574
- The entire holiday culminates
in a glorious pageant.
159
00:06:14,607 --> 00:06:15,885
I've always wanted
to play Katie Holmes,
160
00:06:15,909 --> 00:06:16,986
and I think this is the year.
161
00:06:17,010 --> 00:06:18,078
- Oh.
162
00:06:18,111 --> 00:06:19,612
And we make wish lists addressed
163
00:06:19,646 --> 00:06:20,814
to Katie in Hollywood,
164
00:06:20,847 --> 00:06:21,981
put them in our shoes,
165
00:06:22,015 --> 00:06:23,750
and leave them
in our front porches.
166
00:06:23,783 --> 00:06:24,984
- And the next morning,
167
00:06:25,018 --> 00:06:27,620
there's a fresh blueberry
muffin in each shoe.
168
00:06:27,654 --> 00:06:29,756
- So shoe muffins.
169
00:06:29,789 --> 00:06:31,091
Got it.
Yeah.
170
00:06:31,124 --> 00:06:32,092
And you all do this?
171
00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:33,560
- Oh.
Not me.
172
00:06:33,593 --> 00:06:34,937
I don't celebrate
Katie Holmes Day.
173
00:06:34,961 --> 00:06:36,696
- Oh, finally, a sane person.
174
00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:38,565
- My family celebrates
Jamie Farr Day.
175
00:06:38,598 --> 00:06:41,501
My dad says that's Toledo's
original top celebrity.
176
00:06:41,534 --> 00:06:44,571
- So there's also a Klinger
from "MASH" holiday.
177
00:06:44,604 --> 00:06:46,006
- A world without
Katie Holmes Day
178
00:06:46,039 --> 00:06:47,774
is a world
I don't want to live in.
179
00:06:47,807 --> 00:06:50,777
- I like the sound of that.
180
00:06:50,810 --> 00:06:52,645
Tell me more
of these traditions.
181
00:06:52,679 --> 00:06:55,749
[dramatic music]
182
00:06:55,782 --> 00:06:57,083
♪
183
00:06:57,117 --> 00:06:59,686
- Sorry I'm late.
- Damn, girl.
184
00:06:59,719 --> 00:07:02,856
A 55-inch flat screen TV?
- Oh...
185
00:07:02,889 --> 00:07:04,724
- That is gonna bring in
so much money.
186
00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:05,892
Forget porridge.
187
00:07:05,925 --> 00:07:07,003
Those orphans
are about to have some
188
00:07:07,027 --> 00:07:09,129
R-r-r-r-regular soup.
- Okay!
189
00:07:09,162 --> 00:07:10,864
- Uh, actually, this is...
190
00:07:10,897 --> 00:07:12,599
- A gift from an angel.
191
00:07:12,632 --> 00:07:14,868
- [exhales awkwardly]
That is so sweet.
192
00:07:14,901 --> 00:07:17,671
But it... it's not a big deal.
193
00:07:17,704 --> 00:07:18,738
- And she's humble.
- Mm.
194
00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:19,773
- Amazing.
195
00:07:19,806 --> 00:07:20,907
Mommy Warbucks.
- Mm-hmm.
196
00:07:20,940 --> 00:07:22,809
A regular Mother Toledo.
197
00:07:22,842 --> 00:07:23,977
- Oh.
198
00:07:24,010 --> 00:07:26,546
- [cackling] Yes.
199
00:07:26,579 --> 00:07:27,747
Yeah... oh, good.
200
00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:29,616
Very good.
201
00:07:29,649 --> 00:07:31,885
Yes.
202
00:07:31,918 --> 00:07:33,920
- I'd like to believe
you have a genuine interest
203
00:07:33,953 --> 00:07:35,155
in this beloved holiday,
204
00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:36,923
but your maniacal cackling
205
00:07:36,956 --> 00:07:39,159
has made me fear you're
planning something nefarious.
206
00:07:39,192 --> 00:07:41,928
- Your fears are...
207
00:07:41,961 --> 00:07:43,663
completely founded.
208
00:07:43,697 --> 00:07:46,099
- Oh, I just thought
of another tradition.
209
00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:48,601
It's the one where people
who don't love the holiday
210
00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:49,703
just don't participate,
211
00:07:49,736 --> 00:07:51,905
and let the ones that really
[bleep] love it enjoy it.
212
00:07:53,907 --> 00:07:55,175
- Can we swear now?
213
00:07:55,208 --> 00:07:56,609
[cell phone vibrating]
214
00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:57,811
- Oh, shut up. Shut up.
215
00:07:57,844 --> 00:08:00,613
Shut up, everybody. Shut up.
[phone continues vibrating]
216
00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:03,016
Oh, Mayor CupsofCabbage,
what a pleasant surprise.
217
00:08:04,684 --> 00:08:06,586
I'm sorry.
Come again.
218
00:08:07,220 --> 00:08:10,090
And a-a third time,
'cause it's insane.
219
00:08:10,123 --> 00:08:11,558
I see.
220
00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:17,564
[straining]
221
00:08:19,733 --> 00:08:21,701
- I don't think
that's coming off.
222
00:08:23,937 --> 00:08:25,939
- That dumb-ass mayor cast me
223
00:08:25,972 --> 00:08:28,708
as the lame WB assistant
in the stupid pageant
224
00:08:28,742 --> 00:08:30,877
for the sixth year in a row.
225
00:08:30,910 --> 00:08:34,681
- Well, to be fair, you do give
off strong assistant vibes.
226
00:08:34,714 --> 00:08:36,683
- Just once I want to be Katie
227
00:08:36,716 --> 00:08:38,918
and say the big final line.
228
00:08:38,952 --> 00:08:40,086
It's bullshit.
229
00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:42,822
- That's one A-word, one F-word,
230
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:44,691
and one B-S-H word.
231
00:08:44,724 --> 00:08:46,159
- Guys, Marissa's right,
all right?
232
00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:47,894
This holiday is a complete sham.
233
00:08:47,927 --> 00:08:49,829
- Mr. Griffin,
is it fair to say
234
00:08:49,863 --> 00:08:52,132
that you have an especially
large chip on your shoulder
235
00:08:52,165 --> 00:08:54,234
because a Toledoan
from your peer group
236
00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:57,837
went on to achieve her dreams
and you're, you know, here?
237
00:08:57,871 --> 00:08:58,972
- No, Marcus.
238
00:08:59,005 --> 00:09:00,874
My problem is that
you all believe
239
00:09:00,907 --> 00:09:03,710
a doe-eyed actress can make
your dreams come true.
240
00:09:03,743 --> 00:09:05,845
It doesn't work that way.
W-w-watch.
241
00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:07,981
Please, Katie Holmes,
242
00:09:08,014 --> 00:09:10,850
let me spend five more minutes
with my dead mother.
243
00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:13,953
[soft music]
244
00:09:13,987 --> 00:09:16,723
Did she... is she here?
My mother, is she here?
245
00:09:16,756 --> 00:09:18,734
Oh, she isn't? Yeah...
No, Because it doesn't work.
246
00:09:18,758 --> 00:09:20,126
- Well, give her time.
247
00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:22,162
She has thousands
of homes to visit.
248
00:09:22,195 --> 00:09:24,264
- Marissa...
249
00:09:24,297 --> 00:09:27,834
we're gonna destroy
Katie Holmes Day.
250
00:09:27,867 --> 00:09:30,637
- Holy shit ass dick fart.
251
00:09:35,108 --> 00:09:35,275
.
252
00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:38,211
[dramatic music]
253
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:39,112
♪
254
00:09:39,145 --> 00:09:42,015
[engine turning over]
255
00:09:42,048 --> 00:09:43,783
- Let's do this.
256
00:09:43,817 --> 00:09:47,020
♪
257
00:09:47,053 --> 00:09:48,121
[school bell ringing]
258
00:09:48,154 --> 00:09:51,057
- Ralph, the football team
wants real energy drinks.
259
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:53,860
They figured out that
Gatorade Clear's just water.
260
00:09:53,893 --> 00:09:55,929
- That's it.
261
00:09:55,962 --> 00:09:57,130
A football show.
262
00:09:57,163 --> 00:09:58,832
I can see it now.
263
00:09:58,865 --> 00:10:00,076
- [imitating spoiled daughter]
Oh, pwetty pwease,
264
00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:03,036
can I be in your sports show?
265
00:10:03,069 --> 00:10:04,771
[normal voice]
I'm your spoiled daughter
266
00:10:04,804 --> 00:10:06,206
that benefits from your success.
267
00:10:06,239 --> 00:10:08,351
[imitating daughter] Come on.
- Oh, of course, princess.
268
00:10:08,375 --> 00:10:10,086
Give me some of that sugar
that Daddy likes.
269
00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:12,112
- Oh.
Mwah!
270
00:10:12,145 --> 00:10:14,948
- This feels like an HR trap.
271
00:10:14,981 --> 00:10:18,018
[indistinct chatter]
272
00:10:18,051 --> 00:10:19,853
- Oh.
For reals?
273
00:10:19,886 --> 00:10:21,087
An old Garfield phone?
274
00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:23,223
Mary, can you believe this?
275
00:10:23,256 --> 00:10:25,258
- Uh, I cannot, Stephanie.
276
00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:27,160
Considering this queen
right here
277
00:10:27,193 --> 00:10:29,195
just donated a flat screen TV
278
00:10:29,229 --> 00:10:31,297
for the Katie Holmes Day
rummage sale.
279
00:10:31,331 --> 00:10:34,067
- I think the phone's fun.
280
00:10:34,100 --> 00:10:36,870
- Hello, Garfield?
Oh, well, it's me, an orphan.
281
00:10:36,903 --> 00:10:38,838
Oh, you love lasagna?
Funny.
282
00:10:38,872 --> 00:10:41,074
I've never had lasagna,
and I never will
283
00:10:41,107 --> 00:10:42,976
because we didn't raise
any damn money
284
00:10:43,009 --> 00:10:44,377
with your sorry-ass phone.
285
00:10:44,411 --> 00:10:47,380
[all laughing]
286
00:10:47,414 --> 00:10:50,350
Oh, and I am encouraged.
Who's next?
287
00:10:50,383 --> 00:10:52,018
- Do me.
Do me!
288
00:10:52,052 --> 00:10:53,820
I brought stained Tupperware.
Ooh.
289
00:10:53,853 --> 00:10:55,255
Give it to me.
290
00:10:55,288 --> 00:10:57,166
- [imitating spoiled daughter]
You said I'd be a star.
291
00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:59,125
You lied to me, Daddy.
292
00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:01,995
- It was never you.
It was these pills!
293
00:11:02,028 --> 00:11:03,129
- [sobbing]
294
00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:05,799
- Hey.
Can you sign off on payroll?
295
00:11:05,832 --> 00:11:08,034
- Intern, you're the star now.
296
00:11:08,068 --> 00:11:10,236
- Not sure what this is, but...
297
00:11:10,270 --> 00:11:11,371
I am in.
298
00:11:11,404 --> 00:11:14,307
Step aside, sister.
299
00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:17,377
[old-fashioned voice] ♪ Well,
it's a big old trolley ♪
300
00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:19,079
♪ Coming around the bend
301
00:11:19,112 --> 00:11:21,247
- And feast your peepers
on something you never had...
302
00:11:21,281 --> 00:11:22,882
Talent!
303
00:11:22,916 --> 00:11:24,050
[cackles]
304
00:11:24,084 --> 00:11:26,252
Faster.
[cackling]
305
00:11:26,286 --> 00:11:28,955
both: Ha ha! Yes.
[laughter]
306
00:11:28,988 --> 00:11:30,824
- Oh, who we got up next?
307
00:11:30,857 --> 00:11:32,092
- [chuckles] I drew this.
308
00:11:32,125 --> 00:11:36,062
It's, uh, Catty Holmes
from "Pawson's Creek."
309
00:11:37,430 --> 00:11:38,932
[chuckles nervously]
310
00:11:38,965 --> 00:11:42,102
- Oh, wow.
Dave, we love it.
311
00:11:42,135 --> 00:11:43,903
- Yeah?
Really?
312
00:11:43,937 --> 00:11:45,939
- This is original art.
It's really good.
313
00:11:45,972 --> 00:11:47,140
- We're gonna frame it
314
00:11:47,173 --> 00:11:48,942
and give it directly
to the orphans
315
00:11:48,975 --> 00:11:50,910
and bring a little joy
into their lives.
316
00:11:50,944 --> 00:11:52,278
- Really?
317
00:11:52,312 --> 00:11:54,914
Both:
Hell, no! Boom!
318
00:11:54,948 --> 00:11:57,017
[all laughing]
319
00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:59,886
- And that is our time,
all right?
320
00:11:59,919 --> 00:12:01,454
So feel free to join us tomorrow
321
00:12:01,488 --> 00:12:02,989
at the rummage sale
322
00:12:03,023 --> 00:12:05,091
and come and witness
the chump change
323
00:12:05,125 --> 00:12:08,194
that your crappy-ass donations
will surely bring in.
324
00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:09,229
- Yeah.
[laughter]
325
00:12:09,262 --> 00:12:10,463
- Ooh, ooh.
326
00:12:10,497 --> 00:12:12,932
And stick around for our
first-ever live auction,
327
00:12:12,966 --> 00:12:15,168
where you'll get
the opportunity to make a bid
328
00:12:15,201 --> 00:12:17,337
on the greatest donation
of all time.
329
00:12:17,370 --> 00:12:18,905
You know what it is?
330
00:12:18,938 --> 00:12:22,008
All:
This TV right here!
331
00:12:22,042 --> 00:12:24,944
[cheers and applause]
332
00:12:28,048 --> 00:12:29,215
- Yeah...
333
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:30,417
- No, no, no!
No.
334
00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:33,319
Oh, I-I got it.
I-I want to carry it myself.
335
00:12:33,353 --> 00:12:35,955
Uh, for the children.
336
00:12:35,989 --> 00:12:38,892
Okay.
337
00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:40,994
[groaning]
Legs!
338
00:12:41,027 --> 00:12:43,897
[Tom Waits' "Telephone Call
from Istanbul"]
339
00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:50,036
♪
340
00:12:51,538 --> 00:12:55,909
- ♪ I was all night long
on the broken glass ♪
341
00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:57,944
♪ Living in a medicine chest
342
00:12:57,977 --> 00:13:00,447
♪ Mediteromanian hotel back
343
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:03,116
♪ Sprawled across
a roll-top desk ♪
344
00:13:03,149 --> 00:13:04,517
♪ My pet old monkey
rode a blade ♪
345
00:13:04,551 --> 00:13:07,120
♪ On an overhead fan
346
00:13:07,153 --> 00:13:09,356
♪ They paint the donkey blue
if you pay ♪
347
00:13:09,389 --> 00:13:12,492
♪ I got a telephone call
from Istanbul ♪
348
00:13:12,525 --> 00:13:15,128
♪ My baby's
coming home today ♪
349
00:13:15,161 --> 00:13:17,297
♪ Will you sell me
one of those ♪
350
00:13:17,330 --> 00:13:18,398
♪ If I shave my head?
351
00:13:18,431 --> 00:13:21,401
♪ "Get me out of town"
is what Fireball said ♪
352
00:13:21,434 --> 00:13:24,404
♪ Never trust a man
in a blue trench coat ♪
353
00:13:24,437 --> 00:13:26,373
♪ Never drive a car
when you're dead ♪
354
00:13:26,406 --> 00:13:28,341
- [cackling]
355
00:13:28,375 --> 00:13:31,344
- ♪ Saturday's a festival,
oh, now Saturday's a gem ♪
356
00:13:31,378 --> 00:13:33,413
[both cackling]
357
00:13:33,446 --> 00:13:36,282
♪ Follow me to Beulah's
on Dry Creek Road ♪
358
00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:39,285
♪ I got to wear the hat
that my baby done sewed ♪
359
00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:41,988
♪
360
00:13:42,022 --> 00:13:43,299
[school bell ringing]
- Good morning, Whitlock.
361
00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:45,425
In honor of Katie Holmes Day,
362
00:13:45,458 --> 00:13:48,395
I am going to climb in
through this window,
363
00:13:48,428 --> 00:13:51,297
just like Katie did
on "Dawson's Creek."
364
00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:55,035
So...
here we go.
365
00:13:55,068 --> 00:13:58,505
Okay.
Oh.
366
00:13:58,538 --> 00:14:00,540
[grunts]
367
00:14:00,573 --> 00:14:03,510
Okay.
Ah.
368
00:14:03,543 --> 00:14:06,179
Ow, my keys!
Oh, God.
369
00:14:06,212 --> 00:14:08,181
Okay.
Okay.
370
00:14:08,214 --> 00:14:10,483
[grunting]
371
00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:14,054
Oh, my God.
[grunts]
372
00:14:14,087 --> 00:14:17,090
Well, I come bearing bad news.
373
00:14:17,123 --> 00:14:20,293
The school's Buick float
for the Katie Day parade
374
00:14:20,326 --> 00:14:22,462
has been stolen.
375
00:14:22,495 --> 00:14:25,498
So, instead, I ask all of you
376
00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:28,401
to walk in the parade
arm in arm.
377
00:14:28,435 --> 00:14:32,238
Let's make tonight the best
Katie Holmes Day pageant ever!
378
00:14:33,506 --> 00:14:35,608
- Well, looks like someone
unwittingly made
379
00:14:35,642 --> 00:14:37,444
the holiday
even more heartwarming.
380
00:14:37,477 --> 00:14:40,046
- Oh, don't worry.
There's so much more coming.
381
00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:42,482
- Last night my shoes
were stolen from my porch.
382
00:14:42,515 --> 00:14:46,319
And lo, not two,
but three muffins.
383
00:14:46,353 --> 00:14:47,587
- No, no.
384
00:14:47,620 --> 00:14:50,123
No, you said that you put
the wishes in the shoes,
385
00:14:50,156 --> 00:14:52,359
and then Katie turns
the wishes into muffins.
386
00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:54,494
Ergo, no shoes, no muffins.
387
00:14:54,527 --> 00:14:55,638
- [distantly]
♪ See the Katie
388
00:14:55,662 --> 00:14:57,530
♪ Hear her sing
389
00:14:57,564 --> 00:14:59,265
♪ And every musical
- Yo.
390
00:14:59,299 --> 00:15:01,201
The jug band's
singing a capella.
391
00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:03,236
- They sound smooth as hell.
392
00:15:03,269 --> 00:15:06,306
- Jug, you know that new sound
you've been looking for?
393
00:15:06,339 --> 00:15:08,274
Well, listen to this.
394
00:15:08,308 --> 00:15:10,043
- Another miracle.
395
00:15:10,076 --> 00:15:13,513
Mr. Griffin, may we go bask
in their newfound glory?
396
00:15:13,546 --> 00:15:16,649
- Feel free to leave my class
at any time for any reason.
397
00:15:16,683 --> 00:15:22,589
♪
398
00:15:22,622 --> 00:15:25,425
- We took everything,
and the day came.
399
00:15:25,458 --> 00:15:28,361
It came just the same.
400
00:15:28,395 --> 00:15:31,131
I'm gonna have
to play WB assistant
401
00:15:31,164 --> 00:15:33,500
and say that stupid line
the rest of my life.
402
00:15:35,301 --> 00:15:37,103
- What exactly is your line?
403
00:15:37,137 --> 00:15:39,039
- "Mr. Williamson
will see you now."
404
00:15:41,307 --> 00:15:45,178
- So, if Katie doesn't meet
with Mr. Williamson,
405
00:15:45,211 --> 00:15:48,214
then her dreams
don't come true, and...
406
00:15:48,248 --> 00:15:50,150
if her dreams don't come true...
407
00:15:50,183 --> 00:15:53,353
- Then there's no
Katie Holmes Day.
408
00:15:53,386 --> 00:15:55,689
- [laughing wickedly]
409
00:15:55,722 --> 00:15:58,224
Yeah.
410
00:16:00,126 --> 00:16:02,295
- Well, hey, now.
We all know why we're here.
411
00:16:02,328 --> 00:16:06,299
Please give it up
for Michelle Patricia Jones
412
00:16:06,332 --> 00:16:08,535
and her donation of...
413
00:16:08,568 --> 00:16:11,237
all:
This TV right here!
414
00:16:11,271 --> 00:16:14,407
[all cheering]
415
00:16:14,441 --> 00:16:15,575
- [sighs] I'm dead.
416
00:16:15,608 --> 00:16:17,577
I'm dead.
I'm dead.
417
00:16:17,610 --> 00:16:20,447
- We will start
the bidding at $500.
418
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,549
Ooh, okay.
We have $500.
419
00:16:22,582 --> 00:16:25,418
Now do I see a $550?
420
00:16:25,452 --> 00:16:27,454
$550 from Where's Waldo
over there.
421
00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:30,390
And, Waldo, hey.
I see you, okay?
422
00:16:30,423 --> 00:16:32,559
$550 going once.
423
00:16:32,592 --> 00:16:35,195
Going twice...
424
00:16:35,228 --> 00:16:36,730
- $600!
425
00:16:36,763 --> 00:16:39,499
- Okay... ladies and gentlemen,
I do not believe this.
426
00:16:39,532 --> 00:16:42,736
But this queen right here
is bidding on her own donation!
427
00:16:42,769 --> 00:16:44,738
- $700!
428
00:16:44,771 --> 00:16:46,406
- $750!
429
00:16:46,439 --> 00:16:48,341
- $1,000!
430
00:16:48,375 --> 00:16:50,710
[crowd murmuring]
431
00:16:50,744 --> 00:16:53,380
$1,000 of my own money.
432
00:16:53,413 --> 00:16:54,614
Both:
Sold!
433
00:16:54,647 --> 00:16:56,483
[cheers and applause]
434
00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:59,519
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[muttering angrily]
435
00:17:05,658 --> 00:17:08,461
[doorbell rings]
436
00:17:08,495 --> 00:17:10,630
- A blessed day.
437
00:17:10,663 --> 00:17:12,732
I just bought
this holiday classic
438
00:17:12,766 --> 00:17:14,434
at the rummage sale.
439
00:17:14,467 --> 00:17:15,635
And much to my surprise,
440
00:17:15,669 --> 00:17:19,272
the tape inside...
It's an old home video.
441
00:17:19,305 --> 00:17:21,174
Might you have the movie
442
00:17:21,207 --> 00:17:23,376
I so graciously purchased
for $1.50?
443
00:17:23,410 --> 00:17:24,711
- Nope.
444
00:17:24,744 --> 00:17:26,780
Now, if you could so graciously
get out of my way,
445
00:17:26,813 --> 00:17:28,248
I've got a pageant to destroy.
446
00:17:28,281 --> 00:17:29,516
- Wait a minute.
447
00:17:29,549 --> 00:17:31,618
That's no way to speak
to a fellow Toledoan
448
00:17:31,651 --> 00:17:33,453
on Katie Holmes Day.
449
00:17:33,486 --> 00:17:36,289
- Okay, you big baby man.
You want your money?
450
00:17:36,322 --> 00:17:37,691
There's your money.
451
00:17:37,724 --> 00:17:39,659
- I don't want money.
452
00:17:39,693 --> 00:17:41,661
I want "Pieces of April."
453
00:17:41,695 --> 00:17:43,263
- [laughs]
454
00:17:43,296 --> 00:17:44,656
I don't know what
to tell you, man.
455
00:17:52,305 --> 00:17:54,507
Hey, how'd you know where I...
456
00:17:54,541 --> 00:17:56,643
live?
457
00:17:58,578 --> 00:18:00,580
[grunts]
458
00:18:06,219 --> 00:18:07,620
- Hi, Jacky.
459
00:18:07,654 --> 00:18:09,489
I just wanted
to wish you good luck
460
00:18:09,522 --> 00:18:11,424
at the science fair tomorrow.
461
00:18:11,458 --> 00:18:14,427
And I am so sorry
that I'm going to missing it.
462
00:18:14,461 --> 00:18:17,564
I want you to know that you
are a brilliant, talented,
463
00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:19,466
beautiful boy.
464
00:18:19,499 --> 00:18:22,435
And I have no doubt that
you're going to do great.
465
00:18:22,469 --> 00:18:23,737
And you'll definitely beat
466
00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:25,572
that bullying mouth-breather
Greg Miller.
467
00:18:26,906 --> 00:18:28,651
I mean, he's probably gonna
present another potato clock.
468
00:18:28,675 --> 00:18:30,477
- [laughing] He did.
469
00:18:30,510 --> 00:18:32,679
- I'm so proud of you.
470
00:18:32,712 --> 00:18:34,381
I love you, Jacky.
471
00:18:34,414 --> 00:18:37,384
[somber music]
472
00:18:37,417 --> 00:18:42,455
♪
473
00:18:42,489 --> 00:18:45,425
- I'll be damned.
474
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:48,461
You gave me five more minutes
with my mom.
475
00:18:48,495 --> 00:18:50,864
[uplifting music]
476
00:18:50,897 --> 00:18:53,466
It's all real.
477
00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:55,669
♪
478
00:18:55,702 --> 00:18:57,804
I got to save Katie Holmes Day.
479
00:19:03,309 --> 00:19:03,476
.
480
00:19:03,510 --> 00:19:05,612
[light music]
481
00:19:06,179 --> 00:19:08,648
[indistinct chatter]
482
00:19:08,682 --> 00:19:11,418
♪
483
00:19:11,451 --> 00:19:13,486
So that was Katie's bedroom
right up there.
484
00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:15,655
- Up there?
- Yeah.
485
00:19:15,689 --> 00:19:16,799
- Hey, yo, yo, yo.
Here they come.
486
00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:17,724
[door closes]
Here they come.
487
00:19:17,757 --> 00:19:19,926
- Please stop.
488
00:19:19,959 --> 00:19:22,729
The Holmes family
no longer lives here.
489
00:19:22,762 --> 00:19:25,465
We are the Goodmans.
490
00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:27,767
All:
If we knew this would happen,
491
00:19:27,801 --> 00:19:31,571
we never would have
bought this house.
492
00:19:31,604 --> 00:19:34,874
Seriously, stop!
493
00:19:34,908 --> 00:19:38,678
Please don't put us
through this again.
494
00:19:38,712 --> 00:19:41,648
My condition has worsened.
495
00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:44,684
Please, go away!
496
00:19:44,718 --> 00:19:47,854
[cheers and applause]
497
00:19:47,887 --> 00:19:51,558
♪
498
00:19:51,591 --> 00:19:53,660
[brakes squeal]
499
00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:54,904
- All right.
Coming through, everybody.
500
00:19:54,928 --> 00:19:56,563
[laughs]
501
00:19:56,596 --> 00:19:59,499
Happy Katie Holmes Day.
Yeah.
502
00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:02,469
[indistinct chatter]
503
00:20:02,502 --> 00:20:06,773
♪
504
00:20:06,806 --> 00:20:08,942
[laughing,
speaking indistinctly]
505
00:20:08,975 --> 00:20:10,877
♪
506
00:20:10,910 --> 00:20:15,348
[cheers and applause]
507
00:20:16,950 --> 00:20:19,853
- Okay, this is it.
You got this.
508
00:20:19,886 --> 00:20:22,722
There's no Durbin.
It's only Kevin.
509
00:20:22,756 --> 00:20:24,758
- Hi, I'm Katie Holmes.
510
00:20:24,791 --> 00:20:27,594
I'm here to meet
with Mr. Williamson.
511
00:20:27,627 --> 00:20:29,796
- Mr. Williamson will...
512
00:20:32,532 --> 00:20:34,934
Not see you right now.
He's out.
513
00:20:34,968 --> 00:20:36,836
[crowd gasping, exclaiming]
514
00:20:36,870 --> 00:20:38,581
- All right, coming through,
coming through.
515
00:20:38,605 --> 00:20:40,016
All right, here we go.
Coming through, guys.
516
00:20:40,040 --> 00:20:40,974
- Watch it.
- Okay, coming through.
517
00:20:41,007 --> 00:20:42,542
- But we have a meeting.
518
00:20:42,575 --> 00:20:44,611
- Mm, he's at lunch.
Go back home.
519
00:20:44,644 --> 00:20:46,613
- But I think I can see him.
520
00:20:46,646 --> 00:20:47,914
- Oh, ring, ring.
521
00:20:47,947 --> 00:20:50,784
Hello.
Mm.
522
00:20:50,817 --> 00:20:52,652
Actually I just found out.
- Uh...
523
00:20:52,686 --> 00:20:53,987
- Kevin Williamson's dead.
524
00:20:54,020 --> 00:20:55,655
[crowd gasps, exclaims]
525
00:20:55,689 --> 00:20:57,791
"Dawson's Creek" is canceled.
526
00:20:57,824 --> 00:20:59,025
Bah-bye.
527
00:20:59,059 --> 00:21:00,994
- Marissa, why?
- Don't do this!
528
00:21:01,027 --> 00:21:02,896
- Let her meet him!
529
00:21:02,929 --> 00:21:05,632
- [grunts] Hello, everybody.
530
00:21:05,665 --> 00:21:08,535
Yeah... no, I'm, um...
531
00:21:08,568 --> 00:21:10,437
I'm Mr. Williamson's doctor.
532
00:21:10,470 --> 00:21:12,472
And he's very much alive.
533
00:21:12,505 --> 00:21:15,041
And, yeah, he's ready
to meet Katie.
534
00:21:15,075 --> 00:21:17,544
[cheers and applause]
535
00:21:17,577 --> 00:21:19,646
- Ring, ring.
Oh.
536
00:21:19,679 --> 00:21:22,649
Just found out.
I'm the boss of Hollywood now.
537
00:21:22,682 --> 00:21:26,653
And my first act as queen
is to banish Katie Holmes.
538
00:21:26,686 --> 00:21:29,022
- Please reconsider,
Your Highness!
539
00:21:29,055 --> 00:21:32,659
- So, look, I've been trying
to ruin Katie Holmes Day.
540
00:21:32,692 --> 00:21:34,527
[crowd murmuring]
541
00:21:34,561 --> 00:21:36,529
I ran around all of last night
542
00:21:36,563 --> 00:21:38,965
stealing children's shoes.
543
00:21:38,998 --> 00:21:40,967
Wow, it sounds insane
when I say it out loud.
544
00:21:41,001 --> 00:21:42,902
Uh, but worst of all,
545
00:21:42,936 --> 00:21:46,606
I convinced this sweet,
young girl here to st...
546
00:21:46,639 --> 00:21:47,974
No, not you.
547
00:21:48,008 --> 00:21:50,777
I don't why she's... I don't...
I don't even know you.
548
00:21:50,810 --> 00:21:52,946
Yeah... no, I-I convinced
Marissa here
549
00:21:52,979 --> 00:21:55,515
to stop believing in her dreams.
550
00:21:55,548 --> 00:21:58,818
Then I experienced the magic
of Katie Holmes Day myself.
551
00:21:58,852 --> 00:22:00,954
You know, I had a dream,
and my dream came true.
552
00:22:00,987 --> 00:22:02,789
And... and sure, you know.
553
00:22:02,822 --> 00:22:05,558
Big dreams can be a bit
of a mirage, you know?
554
00:22:05,592 --> 00:22:07,694
Often planted
in our capitalist minds
555
00:22:07,727 --> 00:22:10,063
by greedy corporations who...
- You're losing us!
556
00:22:10,096 --> 00:22:12,532
- Bottom line, um,
557
00:22:12,565 --> 00:22:14,901
Marissa's dream has always been
to play Katie Holmes.
558
00:22:14,934 --> 00:22:17,003
And you think
it would be all right
559
00:22:17,037 --> 00:22:19,806
if Marissa said the final line?
560
00:22:19,839 --> 00:22:21,041
Oh, that's great.
561
00:22:21,074 --> 00:22:23,009
Okay, here we go.
562
00:22:23,043 --> 00:22:27,480
Uh, Mr. Williamson,
your 3:00 is here.
563
00:22:31,551 --> 00:22:32,986
- [clears throat]
564
00:22:33,019 --> 00:22:36,756
Katie, you are Joey Potter.
Welcome to "Dawson's Creek."
565
00:22:36,790 --> 00:22:39,626
[cheers and applause]
566
00:22:39,659 --> 00:22:41,594
- He did it.
567
00:22:41,628 --> 00:22:43,129
The sweet son of a bitch did it.
568
00:22:43,163 --> 00:22:45,865
- Mr. Williamson,
I have something to tell you.
569
00:22:45,899 --> 00:22:49,669
♪
570
00:22:49,703 --> 00:22:51,538
When the camera is rolling,
571
00:22:51,571 --> 00:22:53,973
I'll be this Joey Potter.
572
00:22:54,007 --> 00:22:56,009
But when you say "cut,"
573
00:22:56,042 --> 00:22:59,612
I will return to and always be
574
00:22:59,646 --> 00:23:02,916
Toledo's very own Katie Holmes.
575
00:23:02,949 --> 00:23:05,585
- ♪ I don't want to wait
[cheers and applause]
576
00:23:05,618 --> 00:23:07,954
- ♪ For our lives to be over
577
00:23:07,987 --> 00:23:10,090
♪ I want to know right now
578
00:23:10,123 --> 00:23:13,760
- Hey, everyone look!
It's 8:47!
579
00:23:13,793 --> 00:23:15,795
- ♪ I don't want to wait
580
00:23:15,829 --> 00:23:18,765
♪ For our lives to be over
581
00:23:18,798 --> 00:23:19,966
- Mwah!
582
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:21,868
- Aww.
583
00:23:21,901 --> 00:23:23,570
Oh.
584
00:23:23,603 --> 00:23:25,638
- Hey.
[both laughing]
585
00:23:25,672 --> 00:23:27,640
- [vocalizing]
586
00:23:27,674 --> 00:23:29,042
- Oh.
587
00:23:29,075 --> 00:23:32,645
♪
588
00:23:32,679 --> 00:23:34,180
- Oh!
589
00:23:34,214 --> 00:23:38,585
- Mom, this year
can you kiss my forehead?
590
00:23:38,618 --> 00:23:40,053
- Eat your beans.
591
00:23:40,086 --> 00:23:41,654
- ♪ On the rainy front step
592
00:23:41,688 --> 00:23:43,723
♪ Wearing shrapnel
in his skin ♪
593
00:23:43,757 --> 00:23:45,625
- I hoped
you'd come around to it.
594
00:23:45,658 --> 00:23:48,728
But I didn't think you'd make
it a whole holiday special.
595
00:23:48,762 --> 00:23:49,896
Just...
- [laughs]
596
00:23:49,929 --> 00:23:51,598
- ♪ Lives inside him still
597
00:23:51,631 --> 00:23:56,603
♪ It's so hard to be
gentle and warm ♪
598
00:23:56,636 --> 00:23:58,038
♪ The years passed by
599
00:23:58,071 --> 00:24:02,208
♪ And now he has
granddaughters ♪
600
00:24:02,242 --> 00:24:05,078
♪
601
00:24:05,111 --> 00:24:08,815
♪ I don't want to wait
for our lives... ♪
602
00:24:08,848 --> 00:24:10,617
- Katie continued,
603
00:24:10,650 --> 00:24:13,987
"When you say 'cut, ' I will
return to and always be
604
00:24:14,020 --> 00:24:17,057
Toledo's very own
Katie Holmes."
605
00:24:21,027 --> 00:24:24,230
"Granted, I won't always be
playing Joey Potter.
606
00:24:24,264 --> 00:24:26,066
"So, when I'm doing
another character,
607
00:24:26,099 --> 00:24:28,635
"the same rule applies.
608
00:24:28,668 --> 00:24:30,970
"When the camera's rolling,
I am that character.
609
00:24:31,004 --> 00:24:32,839
"But when they yell 'cut, '
610
00:24:32,872 --> 00:24:36,176
I'm Katie Holmes
from Toledo, Ohio!"
611
00:24:36,209 --> 00:24:38,678
[book closes]
612
00:24:38,712 --> 00:24:40,880
Okay, orphans.
Off to bed.
613
00:24:40,914 --> 00:24:43,683
And tomorrow we'll be enjoying
a feast of muffins,
614
00:24:43,717 --> 00:24:45,118
thanks to a large
amount of money
615
00:24:45,151 --> 00:24:47,053
Whitlock High School
raised for us.
616
00:24:47,087 --> 00:24:49,856
All: Yay!
617
00:24:49,889 --> 00:24:52,859
[upbeat holiday music]
42621
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