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1
00:00:10,276 --> 00:00:12,606
- Hello, Whitlock students.
I'm Mr. Pugh.
2
00:00:12,645 --> 00:00:15,245
And I'm very excited
to invite you
3
00:00:15,281 --> 00:00:16,681
to join the Toledo chapter
4
00:00:16,716 --> 00:00:19,186
of Ohio Naturalists.
5
00:00:19,219 --> 00:00:21,249
The program offers
hands-on learning
6
00:00:21,287 --> 00:00:23,517
and a chance to become
a citizen scientist.
7
00:00:23,556 --> 00:00:24,786
[bee buzzing]
Oh, hello, Mr. Bee.
8
00:00:24,824 --> 00:00:26,294
Oh.
9
00:00:26,326 --> 00:00:27,426
Looks like somebody
wants to get on camera.
10
00:00:27,460 --> 00:00:30,630
Uh, this year, we're going
on an overnight field trip
11
00:00:30,663 --> 00:00:33,303
to Swan Creek
Preserve Metropark--
12
00:00:33,333 --> 00:00:34,403
the bees are back.
Ah.
13
00:00:34,434 --> 00:00:36,604
Brought a friend.
Or two.
14
00:00:36,636 --> 00:00:38,606
Uh, you know,
bees are actually--
15
00:00:38,638 --> 00:00:39,668
they're very friendly.
16
00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:41,676
They--they know not to attack
17
00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:43,738
unless they're feeling
threatened or--
18
00:00:43,777 --> 00:00:45,607
[yelps]
Bananas!
19
00:00:45,645 --> 00:00:47,345
Got me.
20
00:00:47,380 --> 00:00:48,880
Sometimes they get confused,
but...
21
00:00:48,915 --> 00:00:50,215
Owee.
22
00:00:50,250 --> 00:00:51,580
[laughs awkwardly]
23
00:00:51,618 --> 00:00:54,688
Oh, well, uh...
24
00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:58,391
We will, uh, embark
on a variety of activities.
25
00:00:58,425 --> 00:01:01,225
Uh, from bird counts
to stream sampling.
26
00:01:01,261 --> 00:01:03,731
Plant identi--
please go away from--
27
00:01:03,763 --> 00:01:04,763
[crunches]
28
00:01:04,798 --> 00:01:07,228
Oh, no.
29
00:01:07,267 --> 00:01:09,197
I stepped on a goose nest.
30
00:01:09,235 --> 00:01:12,205
Oh.
Its babies.
31
00:01:12,238 --> 00:01:14,668
I squished them.
Oh, no.
32
00:01:14,708 --> 00:01:16,138
Go away!
33
00:01:16,176 --> 00:01:18,776
- ♪ Next time,I'll listen to my heart ♪
34
00:01:18,812 --> 00:01:21,782
♪ Next time,well, I'll be smart ♪
35
00:01:21,815 --> 00:01:28,685
♪
36
00:01:28,722 --> 00:01:31,892
Aw, God.Would you please stop?
37
00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:33,385
I'm nice.
38
00:01:33,426 --> 00:01:35,256
- Mr. Pugh asked meto edit that out,
39
00:01:35,295 --> 00:01:37,295
but I do not knowhow to do that.
40
00:01:37,330 --> 00:01:38,400
[bell ringing]
Okay, Rams.
41
00:01:38,431 --> 00:01:39,771
Get ready to grab the day by--
42
00:01:39,799 --> 00:01:41,229
- When you're in the wild,
43
00:01:41,267 --> 00:01:42,797
if you need to heighten
your sense of smell,
44
00:01:42,836 --> 00:01:44,896
you lick your fingers
and wet your nostrils.
45
00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:47,238
Like so.
46
00:01:48,975 --> 00:01:50,505
- Like, if I'm a wolf?
47
00:01:50,543 --> 00:01:53,353
And I wanna sniff out
a fat bunny?
48
00:01:57,417 --> 00:02:00,217
Hm.
49
00:02:00,253 --> 00:02:01,423
- All right.
50
00:02:01,454 --> 00:02:03,524
Begin shutting your mouths up.
51
00:02:03,556 --> 00:02:05,556
I cannot believe
I'm saying this,
52
00:02:05,592 --> 00:02:08,262
but Sarika is now my favorite.
53
00:02:08,294 --> 00:02:10,604
Yeah--her aunt wants
to publish my book,
54
00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:13,370
"The Pursuit of Happiness
Through Societal Regression."
55
00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:15,300
We're meeting for dinner
tonight at Mansy's.
56
00:02:15,335 --> 00:02:17,365
- Mansy's is very romantic.
57
00:02:17,404 --> 00:02:19,244
I took Sarah,
my college girlfriend, there.
58
00:02:19,272 --> 00:02:20,942
- Oh!
You gave her a name!
59
00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:22,814
Nice!
But this is not a date.
60
00:02:22,842 --> 00:02:25,852
- Besides, my aunt only goes
for guys who drive BMWs.
61
00:02:25,879 --> 00:02:27,309
Not driver's ed cars.
62
00:02:27,347 --> 00:02:29,977
- And Heather's back
to being my favorite.
63
00:02:30,016 --> 00:02:31,786
- Don't call it a comeback.
64
00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:34,388
- Okay.
Yeah.
65
00:02:34,421 --> 00:02:36,221
So I guess the only question
that remains is
66
00:02:36,256 --> 00:02:37,586
how should I pose for the photo
67
00:02:37,624 --> 00:02:39,664
on the back cover
of my book, you know?
68
00:02:39,693 --> 00:02:42,533
Oh.
Maybe I'll hold this skull.
69
00:02:42,562 --> 00:02:44,432
Like Hamlet.
You know?
70
00:02:44,464 --> 00:02:46,004
But it'd be like
this child's skill,
71
00:02:46,032 --> 00:02:49,342
so my hands look bigger.
72
00:02:50,570 --> 00:02:52,970
You know,
so my hands look bigger.
73
00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:56,006
- Right.
Let's hold off on that.
74
00:02:56,042 --> 00:02:57,782
- Oh, okay.
75
00:02:57,811 --> 00:02:59,981
- I read the first chapter
of your book.
76
00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:01,753
You're clearly a good writer.
77
00:03:01,781 --> 00:03:03,021
- Oh.
Thanks.
78
00:03:03,049 --> 00:03:05,249
Yeah, I write
to discover what I know.
79
00:03:05,285 --> 00:03:08,015
That's Flannery O'Connor.
80
00:03:08,054 --> 00:03:09,394
- Cool.
81
00:03:09,422 --> 00:03:12,392
Now, perhaps you've heard
of my client,
82
00:03:12,425 --> 00:03:14,785
best-selling author,
Robin Schwonk.
83
00:03:14,828 --> 00:03:17,298
The final book in his
"Rock Bottom" trilogy,
84
00:03:17,330 --> 00:03:19,470
"Disgraced," is set to be
released in three weeks.
85
00:03:19,499 --> 00:03:21,429
But he's having
a personal trauma,
86
00:03:21,468 --> 00:03:23,298
and hasn't written it.
87
00:03:23,336 --> 00:03:25,636
His beloved Pekingese
has Psoriasis.
88
00:03:25,672 --> 00:03:26,872
- [snorts]
89
00:03:26,906 --> 00:03:28,376
Sorry, the elbow rash stuff?
90
00:03:28,408 --> 00:03:30,038
On a dog?
[laughs]
91
00:03:30,076 --> 00:03:32,576
- We need "Disgraced" ASAP.
92
00:03:32,612 --> 00:03:35,982
We have 50,000 pre-sales,
and I have spent the money.
93
00:03:36,016 --> 00:03:38,416
I finally had
my shoulders done.
94
00:03:38,451 --> 00:03:40,521
- Oh, good--good.
Yeah, no--sorry.
95
00:03:40,553 --> 00:03:41,793
What does this have to do
with my book?
96
00:03:41,821 --> 00:03:43,661
- This is your book.
97
00:03:43,690 --> 00:03:45,830
I want you
to write "Disgraced."
98
00:03:45,859 --> 00:03:47,859
- Uh...
- [scoffs]
99
00:03:47,894 --> 00:03:50,664
"A brilliant but emotionally
stunted psychopath
100
00:03:50,697 --> 00:03:52,727
"is disgraced and moves home
to the Midwest.
101
00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:55,466
His intense shame
drives him to murder."
102
00:03:55,502 --> 00:03:57,572
I mean, the main character
is basically you.
103
00:03:57,604 --> 00:03:59,744
- No, I--I don't relate
to that character at all.
104
00:03:59,773 --> 00:04:02,913
- Excuse me, sir.
Is this your child's skull?
105
00:04:02,942 --> 00:04:05,752
- It is.
106
00:04:05,779 --> 00:04:06,849
- I just got chills.
107
00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:08,480
You're perfect.
108
00:04:08,515 --> 00:04:10,675
Sarika told me you were
fired from Harvard,
109
00:04:10,717 --> 00:04:13,347
and live in your
dead mother's apartment.
110
00:04:13,386 --> 00:04:15,686
- Townhome.
- You are "Disgraced."
111
00:04:15,722 --> 00:04:17,922
- Sorry, I live in
my dead mother's townhome.
112
00:04:17,957 --> 00:04:19,687
- You'll be paid, of course.
113
00:04:19,726 --> 00:04:22,656
And if you nail this,
I will do everything I can
114
00:04:22,696 --> 00:04:24,756
to get your book published.
115
00:04:27,767 --> 00:04:28,967
- Okay.
116
00:04:29,002 --> 00:04:31,642
I'm in.
117
00:04:31,671 --> 00:04:32,911
[chuckling]
- Ow, ow, ow, ow.
118
00:04:32,939 --> 00:04:34,909
- Oh, oh.
Shoulders.
119
00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:36,981
- Right.
- [chuckles]
120
00:04:37,010 --> 00:04:38,350
- [laughing]
121
00:04:38,378 --> 00:04:39,748
- Oh.
Good morning, ladies.
122
00:04:39,779 --> 00:04:41,349
[laughs]
While you were out buying
123
00:04:41,381 --> 00:04:43,951
paintings of wine bottles
at TJ Maxx,
124
00:04:43,983 --> 00:04:47,023
I pulled one over on the rubes
who buy books at airports.
125
00:04:47,053 --> 00:04:49,793
I wrote a Schwonk.
- Whoa.
126
00:04:49,823 --> 00:04:51,863
You wrote a book
for Robin Schwonk?
127
00:04:51,891 --> 00:04:52,961
- Mm-hmm.
- Dang.
128
00:04:52,992 --> 00:04:55,932
I still remember reading
"Bone Freaks" when I was 13.
129
00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:57,732
That's where I learned
the word "areola."
130
00:04:57,764 --> 00:04:58,634
- Oh.
131
00:04:58,665 --> 00:04:59,495
- Anyway, I think you guys
are gonna be
132
00:04:59,532 --> 00:05:01,002
the perfect audience
for this, I do.
133
00:05:01,034 --> 00:05:02,004
Check--check this out.
134
00:05:02,035 --> 00:05:03,435
"I woke up in a seedy motel.
135
00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:04,740
[dramatic music]
136
00:05:04,771 --> 00:05:07,641
"What was left of the desk
clerk stared back to me.
137
00:05:07,674 --> 00:05:09,784
Eyes vacant--"
- Oh, God, stop!
138
00:05:09,809 --> 00:05:11,779
That's giving me
the creep sweats.
139
00:05:11,811 --> 00:05:14,011
- Hey, creep sweats are the
panties thrown on stage
140
00:05:14,047 --> 00:05:15,147
of horror writing, so.
141
00:05:15,181 --> 00:05:16,151
- [laughs]
- Jesus, Jack.
142
00:05:16,182 --> 00:05:17,622
It's 8:00 in the morning.
143
00:05:17,650 --> 00:05:19,020
- Yeah, oh, sorry.
I haven't slept.
144
00:05:19,052 --> 00:05:20,652
- Uh-uh.
You know what you see.
145
00:05:20,687 --> 00:05:23,717
That is exactly why he's listed
in my "If I Go Missing" kit.
146
00:05:23,757 --> 00:05:25,557
- What's an
"If I Go Missing" kit?
147
00:05:25,592 --> 00:05:27,932
- So it is a kit that
you make for the police
148
00:05:27,961 --> 00:05:29,061
in case you go missing.
149
00:05:29,095 --> 00:05:31,525
And inside it has
all your passwords,
150
00:05:31,564 --> 00:05:34,474
your DNA, a recent photo
of you for the news,
151
00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:38,071
and a list of men you think
might wanna kill or kidnap you.
152
00:05:38,104 --> 00:05:39,644
Every lady needs one.
153
00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:41,173
- Except me
because I'm microchipped.
154
00:05:41,207 --> 00:05:45,007
However, I did make
a "If Durbin Goes Missing" kit.
155
00:05:45,045 --> 00:05:47,845
And just for your information,
it is in this drawer here.
156
00:05:47,881 --> 00:05:49,051
And it is always locked.
157
00:05:49,082 --> 00:05:51,182
Nope.
Not locked.
158
00:05:51,217 --> 00:05:52,717
All right.
Let me show you.
159
00:05:52,752 --> 00:05:53,852
all: Ooh.
160
00:05:53,887 --> 00:05:55,887
Very top secret.
161
00:05:55,922 --> 00:05:58,492
I've got a blood sample.
162
00:05:58,525 --> 00:06:00,655
I won't tell you what hole
that came out of.
163
00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:02,534
- Michelle, the point is
164
00:06:02,562 --> 00:06:04,932
you needed a kit
like yesterday, okay?
165
00:06:04,964 --> 00:06:06,734
Like, watch a "Dateline."
166
00:06:09,469 --> 00:06:11,039
- Well.
Kiddos.
167
00:06:11,071 --> 00:06:14,041
This weekend, I crapped out
a Robin Schwonk novel.
168
00:06:14,074 --> 00:06:16,214
[laughs]
169
00:06:16,242 --> 00:06:18,612
- Uh, all due respect, boss.
170
00:06:18,645 --> 00:06:20,575
Robin Schwonk doesn't
use ghost writers.
171
00:06:20,613 --> 00:06:22,183
- Well, this is
a one-time thing, Heather.
172
00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:24,475
He's in a dark place right now.
173
00:06:24,517 --> 00:06:26,517
Apparently his dog.
has Psoriasis
174
00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:28,193
- Millie?
Oh, no.
175
00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:29,221
- Mm-hmm.
176
00:06:29,255 --> 00:06:31,825
[phone ringing]
177
00:06:31,858 --> 00:06:34,128
Hello?
- Jack Griffin.
178
00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:36,160
Hey.
Robin Schwonk.
179
00:06:36,196 --> 00:06:39,066
I just finished reading
your draft of "Disgraced."
180
00:06:39,099 --> 00:06:40,599
- You did?
Great.
181
00:06:40,633 --> 00:06:42,003
[mouthing words]
182
00:06:42,035 --> 00:06:43,235
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
183
00:06:43,269 --> 00:06:45,809
- No let me ask you something.
184
00:06:45,839 --> 00:06:48,239
Do you like messing with me?
185
00:06:48,274 --> 00:06:52,184
'Cause I just finished wiping
my ass with that pile of shit.
186
00:06:52,212 --> 00:06:54,052
Have you even readany of my trilogies?
187
00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:55,850
'Cause this is nothinglike my work.
188
00:06:55,882 --> 00:06:58,052
I'm not gonna put my name
on this, you little piggie!
189
00:06:58,084 --> 00:06:59,224
- Next.
- Hold on.
190
00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:00,852
Hello, sweetie.
191
00:07:00,887 --> 00:07:02,587
I'm here to pick upPsoriasis cream
192
00:07:02,622 --> 00:07:05,162
for Millie Schwonk.
193
00:07:05,191 --> 00:07:06,731
Say, where's Margaret anyway?
194
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:07,890
Oh!There she is.
195
00:07:07,927 --> 00:07:09,127
I didn't see youback there, doll.
196
00:07:09,162 --> 00:07:10,662
How are you?
197
00:07:10,697 --> 00:07:13,097
Well, sweetie,you look great with a tan.
198
00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:14,903
Hawaii?Oh, well.
199
00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:16,244
I gotta changemy line of work.
200
00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:17,899
- Hello?
Wh--
201
00:07:17,937 --> 00:07:19,267
- Yeah, Jackie.
202
00:07:19,305 --> 00:07:21,065
Let's fix this.
Okay, bud?
203
00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:21,937
Let's get it done.
204
00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:23,605
Okay.Bye-bye now.
205
00:07:23,643 --> 00:07:26,213
- Oh--
[call disconnects]
206
00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:27,976
Well.
207
00:07:28,014 --> 00:07:30,524
There's eight hours of work
down the drain.
208
00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:39,033
- So he hated it, huh?
209
00:07:39,059 --> 00:07:41,289
Well you did say you
crapped it out, so,
210
00:07:41,327 --> 00:07:43,827
you know, that had me worried
since Jump Street.
211
00:07:43,863 --> 00:07:46,273
- Marcus, go stick your hand
in the window sill.
212
00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:48,969
Dan, slam the window down on it
as hard as you can.
213
00:07:49,002 --> 00:07:50,642
- Okay, you know
I can't do that, Mr. G.
214
00:07:50,670 --> 00:07:51,910
- Come on, boss.
215
00:07:51,938 --> 00:07:54,108
You gotta have thick skin
in the writing biz.
216
00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:57,580
I have had ten stories rejected
by the "Whitlock Gazette,"
217
00:07:57,610 --> 00:07:59,710
And I'm
"friends with the editor."
218
00:07:59,746 --> 00:08:00,776
- I told you.
219
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:02,684
We don't publish
mature content.
220
00:08:02,716 --> 00:08:03,846
- [sighs]
Fact.
221
00:08:03,883 --> 00:08:05,853
Two of the greatest minds
on the planet,
222
00:08:05,885 --> 00:08:07,915
Schwonk and Griffin,
are teaming up.
223
00:08:07,954 --> 00:08:10,564
And I, Heather Marie Willmore,
224
00:08:10,590 --> 00:08:13,090
will be able to help them both.
225
00:08:13,126 --> 00:08:15,126
We can fix this, comrade.
226
00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:16,831
Let's do it for Millie.
227
00:08:16,863 --> 00:08:18,133
- Who's Mille again?
228
00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:20,204
- That's Schwonk's
Psoriasis dog.
229
00:08:20,233 --> 00:08:23,843
- I think the millionaire's
ashy bitch is gonna be okay.
230
00:08:23,870 --> 00:08:26,640
- I have Psoriasis,
but no one's worried about me.
231
00:08:27,807 --> 00:08:30,707
You all won't even look at me!
232
00:08:31,811 --> 00:08:33,781
Look at me!
233
00:08:35,749 --> 00:08:37,349
- I did a lot of photos
234
00:08:37,384 --> 00:08:38,794
for my "If I Go Missing" kit,
235
00:08:38,818 --> 00:08:40,648
because let's be honest.
236
00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:42,257
You don't know what state
you're gonna be in
237
00:08:42,288 --> 00:08:43,888
if and when
the police find you.
238
00:08:43,923 --> 00:08:46,993
So, this is if I've been
missing in the woods
239
00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:48,797
for a couple weeks.
Mm!
240
00:08:48,828 --> 00:08:51,128
Here's if I've disappeared
from a cruise ship.
241
00:08:51,164 --> 00:08:52,334
- Oh.
- Oh!
242
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:54,325
And this is if I get taken
243
00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:56,037
from an award ceremony.
244
00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:57,899
And if I'm found dead
at the ceremony.
245
00:08:57,937 --> 00:08:59,667
- Oh.
- Oh, cute, right?
246
00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:01,736
- Now, I went ahead and left
instructions for my funeral.
247
00:09:01,775 --> 00:09:03,705
- Oh.
- Yes.
248
00:09:03,743 --> 00:09:06,783
"First, my silky-voiced cousin
Reggie will read my eulogy.
249
00:09:06,813 --> 00:09:08,213
"But if he's no longer with us,
250
00:09:08,248 --> 00:09:10,048
"I guess my sister,
Angela, can do it.
251
00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:11,723
"But please tell her to focus.
252
00:09:11,751 --> 00:09:13,751
Because her S's
can be too lazy."
253
00:09:13,787 --> 00:09:14,917
- Mm-hmm.
- Wow.
254
00:09:14,954 --> 00:09:16,964
I can't even think of anyone
255
00:09:16,990 --> 00:09:19,660
for my list of men who are
likely to kidnap or kill me.
256
00:09:19,693 --> 00:09:20,863
I'm--
both: Keith.
257
00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:22,934
- Like, 100% Keith.
- Your husband, Keith.
258
00:09:22,962 --> 00:09:24,062
- Like, Keith would
absolutely kill you.
259
00:09:24,097 --> 00:09:25,067
- Keith will be the one
to murder you.
260
00:09:25,098 --> 00:09:26,328
[both laugh]
- It'll be Keith.
261
00:09:26,366 --> 00:09:27,626
- In the dead of the night.
262
00:09:27,667 --> 00:09:30,897
- It's always the husband,
Michelle.
263
00:09:30,937 --> 00:09:32,967
- Um, just curious.
264
00:09:33,006 --> 00:09:36,006
Uh, did one of you happen
to sneak into my email,
265
00:09:36,042 --> 00:09:38,682
and send a funny
but hurtful message
266
00:09:38,712 --> 00:09:39,952
to the whole school
from my account?
267
00:09:39,979 --> 00:09:42,149
- Oh.
You mean this email that says,
268
00:09:42,182 --> 00:09:44,752
"I HAVE A DIRTY BUTT"
in call caps?
269
00:09:44,784 --> 00:09:46,154
[all laughing]
270
00:09:46,186 --> 00:09:47,046
- That's funny.
271
00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:48,857
For the record,
my butt is very clean.
272
00:09:48,888 --> 00:09:50,088
Okay?
- Oh.
273
00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:51,223
- You know--you know
the commercial where--
274
00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:52,957
where the dirty dish
gets dunked
275
00:09:52,992 --> 00:09:53,992
into the warm, soapy water,
276
00:09:54,027 --> 00:09:55,957
and when it comes out,
all the food comes off?
277
00:09:55,995 --> 00:09:57,795
Well, same situation
back there.
278
00:09:57,831 --> 00:09:59,671
It's spotless.
279
00:09:59,699 --> 00:10:01,739
I--I'm a little cocky
about it.
280
00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:03,738
- Durbs, you got hacked, okay?
281
00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:05,670
You need to change
all of your passwords.
282
00:10:05,705 --> 00:10:07,705
- I'm locked out, okay?
Look.
283
00:10:07,741 --> 00:10:09,881
If one of you is pranking me,
I'm totally cool with it.
284
00:10:09,909 --> 00:10:12,079
I can take a dirty butt joke
as well as the next guy.
285
00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:14,782
Maybe even better
because mine is so clean.
286
00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:18,216
[all chanting]
Show us, show us,
287
00:10:18,251 --> 00:10:20,091
show us, show us!
288
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:21,390
- [laughing]
289
00:10:21,421 --> 00:10:22,861
- I don't know.
290
00:10:22,889 --> 00:10:24,259
I--I still feel like
he can kill the janitor
291
00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:25,260
just for the hell of it.
292
00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:27,861
- No, if this is gonna be
a bona fide Schwonk,
293
00:10:27,894 --> 00:10:30,234
the murder can't just be
a bad guy, boss.
294
00:10:30,263 --> 00:10:32,333
He has to be possessed
by something.
295
00:10:32,365 --> 00:10:34,895
- Maybe he's possessed
by a dead altar boy.
296
00:10:34,934 --> 00:10:37,444
I was for a while.
That's how I know Latin.
297
00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:39,770
Spiritus cadem m--
298
00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:41,836
- Don't let her finish!
299
00:10:41,875 --> 00:10:43,275
- Okay, guys,
300
00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:46,779
Robin Schwonk never vilifies
animals or children, okay?
301
00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:49,323
He's not just a genius.
He is a good man.
302
00:10:49,349 --> 00:10:50,979
Now think.
303
00:10:51,017 --> 00:10:53,747
What is the killer
possessed by?
304
00:10:53,787 --> 00:10:55,757
It should be something
in nature.
305
00:10:55,789 --> 00:10:57,889
- Pinecone.
306
00:10:57,924 --> 00:11:00,094
- What's that, Yuyao?
Pinecone?
307
00:11:00,126 --> 00:11:02,796
Did you just say pinecone,
Yuyao?
308
00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:03,899
- Acorn.
309
00:11:03,930 --> 00:11:05,300
- Yuyao.
- Oh, my God.
310
00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:06,101
[overlapping chatter]
311
00:11:06,132 --> 00:11:09,042
- That's terrible.
- Aww, Yuyao.
312
00:11:09,069 --> 00:11:10,439
Still better than
what Marcus said though.
313
00:11:10,470 --> 00:11:12,810
- I didn't say anything yet.
- I got it, okay.
314
00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:14,509
What if the disgraced teacher
315
00:11:14,541 --> 00:11:16,181
is swimming during a full moon,
316
00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:19,279
and gets possessed
by a demon lake?
317
00:11:19,312 --> 00:11:21,922
And then he gives the corpses
of his murder victims
318
00:11:21,948 --> 00:11:23,418
to the lake as a gift.
319
00:11:23,450 --> 00:11:25,120
- Oh.
That's good.
320
00:11:25,151 --> 00:11:27,391
- Y'all are creepy as hell.
321
00:11:27,420 --> 00:11:30,290
This is why I don't join
your Naturalists camping club.
322
00:11:30,323 --> 00:11:33,093
I'd be getting a nice char
on my s'more.
323
00:11:33,126 --> 00:11:34,156
And bam!
324
00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:35,534
I get a hatchet to the neck.
325
00:11:35,562 --> 00:11:37,362
[coughs]
326
00:11:40,967 --> 00:11:41,897
- That's good.
- Write that down.
327
00:11:41,935 --> 00:11:43,165
- Yeah.
328
00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:45,073
- Can we please stop
summoning evil toward us?
329
00:11:45,105 --> 00:11:47,305
- That's it.
An evil tortoise.
330
00:11:47,340 --> 00:11:49,180
He's possessed
by an evil tortoise.
331
00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:50,539
[bell ringing]
- Okay, this is good.
332
00:11:50,577 --> 00:11:51,537
This is good stuff.
Yeah.
333
00:11:51,578 --> 00:11:52,878
I mean, not the tortoise thing,
334
00:11:52,912 --> 00:11:54,212
or anything Marcus
has been saying,
335
00:11:54,247 --> 00:11:55,877
but, you know,
the Heather stuff.
336
00:11:55,915 --> 00:11:57,945
Yeah.
Nice.
337
00:11:57,984 --> 00:12:00,194
[keyboard playing
through headphones]
338
00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:02,490
- ♪ And please water my ferns
339
00:12:02,522 --> 00:12:03,922
♪ When I go to Cabo
340
00:12:03,957 --> 00:12:05,357
Hey.
Hey.
341
00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:09,202
- Sorry, uh, I've been sent
by the hacker.
342
00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:10,459
[keyboard plays note]
343
00:12:10,497 --> 00:12:11,967
- They get your passwords too?
344
00:12:11,998 --> 00:12:14,128
- He or she got
into my Minecraft,
345
00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:16,197
and broke my smoke cabin.
346
00:12:18,004 --> 00:12:20,144
- Did your wolves get out?
347
00:12:21,541 --> 00:12:24,211
- They said that the only way
for me to get my life back
348
00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:26,314
is if I read you this note.
349
00:12:28,448 --> 00:12:30,248
"Principal Durbin,
350
00:12:30,283 --> 00:12:32,423
"If you want access
to your email,
351
00:12:32,452 --> 00:12:34,122
"you have to let
352
00:12:34,154 --> 00:12:37,124
"everyone in Ohio Naturalists
353
00:12:37,157 --> 00:12:39,457
"go on the
overnight field trip,
354
00:12:39,492 --> 00:12:43,332
whether or not they have
a permission slip."
355
00:12:43,363 --> 00:12:45,003
- Damn it!
356
00:12:45,031 --> 00:12:47,171
This psycho is asking
for my integrity.
357
00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:50,070
- Yeah, it's such a--
such a bummer, huh?
358
00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:52,213
- You don't know what
they took from me, Vic.
359
00:12:52,238 --> 00:12:55,538
20 years of precious emails
from my ex-wife, Brenda.
360
00:12:55,575 --> 00:12:59,145
Including the one where she
accepted my marriage proposal.
361
00:12:59,179 --> 00:13:01,279
There's gotta be
something I can do.
362
00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:03,154
- There's only one
other option,
363
00:13:03,183 --> 00:13:06,053
but it--it's too horrible
to even say.
364
00:13:06,086 --> 00:13:07,286
[tense music]
365
00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:09,420
During the announcements
tomorrow,
366
00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:12,286
"You have to wash
your dirty butt
367
00:13:12,325 --> 00:13:16,025
with the chemistry class's
eye-washing station."
368
00:13:16,062 --> 00:13:18,432
The whole field trip
permission slip thing
369
00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:20,065
doesn't sound that bad.
370
00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:21,940
Like, comparatively.
371
00:13:21,968 --> 00:13:23,998
- Go now.
372
00:13:24,037 --> 00:13:25,437
Leave me.
373
00:13:25,472 --> 00:13:30,512
♪
374
00:13:30,543 --> 00:13:32,653
- [sighs]
Morning, Heather.
375
00:13:32,679 --> 00:13:35,249
I was up all night,
376
00:13:35,281 --> 00:13:37,521
but I sent your changes
in at 6 a.m. and it's good.
377
00:13:37,550 --> 00:13:38,920
It's really good.
378
00:13:38,952 --> 00:13:40,152
I think Schwonk
is gonna love it.
379
00:13:40,186 --> 00:13:42,056
And then it's on
to my book, so.
380
00:13:42,088 --> 00:13:44,158
[phone ringing]
Oh.
381
00:13:44,190 --> 00:13:46,660
All right.
It's your boy.
382
00:13:46,693 --> 00:13:50,203
[dramatic music]
Here we go.
383
00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:52,530
Mr. Schwonk, what'd you think?
384
00:13:52,565 --> 00:13:55,065
- Hey, Jack!I gotta tell you.
385
00:13:55,101 --> 00:13:57,001
I am very impressed.
386
00:13:57,037 --> 00:13:58,197
Very impressed.
387
00:13:58,238 --> 00:13:59,338
In fact, I thinkyou've invented
388
00:13:59,372 --> 00:14:01,272
a whole new genreof literature.
389
00:14:01,307 --> 00:14:04,007
And I would call it "shit lit!"
390
00:14:04,044 --> 00:14:06,554
He gets possessedby a demon lake?
391
00:14:06,579 --> 00:14:08,579
What the hell is a demon lake?
392
00:14:08,615 --> 00:14:11,315
Did an ignorant childwrite this?
393
00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:15,091
A lake isn't scary, 'causeyou can just get away from it.
394
00:14:15,121 --> 00:14:17,961
A river.
Now, a river is scary.
395
00:14:17,991 --> 00:14:20,361
Because it moves.
It follows you.
396
00:14:20,393 --> 00:14:21,293
Oh!
397
00:14:21,327 --> 00:14:22,697
And then the murderergets possessed
398
00:14:22,729 --> 00:14:24,459
while he's swimming?
399
00:14:24,497 --> 00:14:27,167
I already wrote that in my"Underwater Demon" trilogy.
400
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:29,500
Why would I plagiarize myself,
you ass?
401
00:14:29,536 --> 00:14:33,536
I'd be ruined!
This is donkey crap!
402
00:14:33,573 --> 00:14:35,513
Okay.
Bye-bye now.
403
00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:38,412
- I forgot about the
"Underwater Demon" trilogy.
404
00:14:38,445 --> 00:14:40,305
I don't know why I thought
my ideas were good enough.
405
00:14:40,347 --> 00:14:42,677
- No, your ideas are good.
Okay?
406
00:14:42,716 --> 00:14:44,546
In fact,
they're too good for him.
407
00:14:44,584 --> 00:14:46,254
So we're keeping the book,
all right?
408
00:14:46,286 --> 00:14:47,486
Schwonk can't have it.
409
00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:49,720
- Excuse me, Jackie.I'm still here.
410
00:14:49,756 --> 00:14:52,256
Couldn't hang up 'cause
I'm eating a hard shell taco.
411
00:14:52,292 --> 00:14:54,132
That's a two-handed operation.
412
00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:57,000
[laughs]Jackie, baby.
413
00:14:57,030 --> 00:14:58,260
Schwonk can't have it?
414
00:14:58,298 --> 00:15:01,668
Schwonk gets
whatever Schwonk wants.
415
00:15:01,701 --> 00:15:03,671
Nobody knows your name.
416
00:15:03,703 --> 00:15:05,313
And they never will!
417
00:15:05,338 --> 00:15:07,008
Oopsie.Honey?
418
00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:08,170
I'm gonna need a napkin.
419
00:15:08,208 --> 00:15:10,108
No, Wendy,the meat's delicious.
420
00:15:10,143 --> 00:15:11,443
It's just wet.
421
00:15:11,478 --> 00:15:14,378
Jack, make it right,and fix the bad parts!
422
00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:17,284
Get this done or your little
book will never get published!
423
00:15:17,317 --> 00:15:20,017
Oh, honey, I'm gonna
need another napkin.
424
00:15:20,053 --> 00:15:21,193
All right.
Thanks, Jack.
425
00:15:21,221 --> 00:15:23,021
Appreciate it.
Bye-bye now.
426
00:15:23,056 --> 00:15:24,316
Bye-bye.
427
00:15:26,726 --> 00:15:28,496
- I'm sorry, boss.
428
00:15:28,528 --> 00:15:30,198
I let you down.
429
00:15:30,230 --> 00:15:32,230
[tense music]
430
00:15:37,337 --> 00:15:39,037
- Make it rightand fix the bad parts!
431
00:15:39,072 --> 00:15:40,072
[distorted]Jackie.
432
00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:41,676
Okay, bye-bye now.
433
00:15:41,708 --> 00:15:42,678
[thunder cracks]
434
00:15:42,709 --> 00:15:44,309
- Keith!
435
00:15:44,344 --> 00:15:46,184
- Your husband, Keith.- 100% Keith.
436
00:15:46,212 --> 00:15:48,182
It's always the husband,Michelle.
437
00:15:48,214 --> 00:15:51,024
♪
438
00:15:51,051 --> 00:15:53,251
- [all chanting]Show us, show us, show us!
439
00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:55,116
- I have a dirty butt!
440
00:15:55,155 --> 00:15:57,415
- [laughing]
441
00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:00,659
- I'm here to pick upPsoriasis cream
442
00:16:00,694 --> 00:16:02,734
for Millie Schwonk.
443
00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:07,795
Did an ignorant childwrite this?
444
00:16:07,834 --> 00:16:11,504
This is donkey crap!
445
00:16:22,215 --> 00:16:24,575
- Love you.
- Love you too.
446
00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:31,161
- Why would I plagiarizemyself, you ass?
447
00:16:31,191 --> 00:16:33,591
I'd be ruined!
448
00:16:33,626 --> 00:16:36,556
- And then it's on to my book.
449
00:16:36,596 --> 00:16:38,396
[thunder cracks]
450
00:16:38,431 --> 00:16:40,201
[suspenseful music]
451
00:16:40,233 --> 00:16:42,643
[whoosh]
452
00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:45,369
- Is someone there?
453
00:16:45,405 --> 00:16:46,705
[dramatic sting]
454
00:16:46,740 --> 00:16:48,240
- Plagiarism, boss.
455
00:16:48,274 --> 00:16:50,114
- Jesus, Heather.
456
00:16:50,143 --> 00:16:51,483
You need to use the doorbell.
457
00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:53,811
- He said no one
would ever know your name.
458
00:16:53,847 --> 00:16:55,247
Let's prove him wrong.
459
00:16:55,281 --> 00:16:58,151
Let's have Schwonk
plagiarize Griffin.
460
00:16:58,184 --> 00:17:00,154
- Yes.
That is brilliant.
461
00:17:00,186 --> 00:17:02,256
- It's a plagiarism time bomb.
462
00:17:02,288 --> 00:17:04,458
When it explodes,
Schwonk will be ruined,
463
00:17:04,491 --> 00:17:06,561
and the world
will know your name.
464
00:17:06,593 --> 00:17:09,163
[thunder cracks]
465
00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:11,325
[bell rings]
466
00:17:14,801 --> 00:17:16,241
- Oh!
467
00:17:16,269 --> 00:17:19,139
- We out-Schwonk-ed
Schwonk last night.
468
00:17:19,172 --> 00:17:22,442
- We planted passages from
my book into his manuscript.
469
00:17:22,475 --> 00:17:24,605
So as soon as he goes to print,
we'll expose him.
470
00:17:24,644 --> 00:17:27,284
- Mr. Griffin's name
will be everywhere.
471
00:17:27,313 --> 00:17:29,253
His book will fly
off the shelves.
472
00:17:29,282 --> 00:17:30,682
- [chuckles]
473
00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:32,447
- Well there's not really
a market for philosophy books.
474
00:17:32,485 --> 00:17:35,115
If anything, Malcolm Gladwell's
sociology books
475
00:17:35,155 --> 00:17:36,315
kind of scratch that itch,
476
00:17:36,356 --> 00:17:38,316
but maybe I'm just
477
00:17:38,358 --> 00:17:40,228
an outlier.
478
00:17:40,260 --> 00:17:42,600
- Anyone--can anyone please
479
00:17:42,629 --> 00:17:44,899
slam Marcus's fingers
into the window sill?
480
00:17:44,931 --> 00:17:46,271
- Maybe I could.
481
00:17:46,299 --> 00:17:49,239
- Looks like you guys
have reached your
482
00:17:49,269 --> 00:17:50,299
tipping point.
483
00:17:50,337 --> 00:17:52,837
- Oh.
- [sighs]
484
00:17:52,872 --> 00:17:54,242
[phone ringing]
- Oh.
485
00:17:54,274 --> 00:17:55,314
Wait, wait, wait.
Wait, wait.
486
00:17:55,342 --> 00:17:56,412
Wait.
487
00:17:56,443 --> 00:17:57,883
Ugh, it's Schwonk.
488
00:17:57,911 --> 00:17:59,381
Um--
- Oh, put it on speaker.
489
00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:01,412
- Yeah
Okay.
490
00:18:01,448 --> 00:18:04,248
Ugh.
All right.
491
00:18:04,284 --> 00:18:06,194
- Hey, Jack.Its Schwonk.
492
00:18:06,219 --> 00:18:07,389
Great news.
493
00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:09,220
You passed the test.
You won.
494
00:18:09,255 --> 00:18:11,655
- Won what?
- Everything.
495
00:18:11,691 --> 00:18:13,391
Well, that's whyI was so hard on you, son.
496
00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:14,856
I had to make sureyou were up to the task.
497
00:18:14,894 --> 00:18:16,404
Don't you get it?
498
00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:17,829
You're Schwonk now.
499
00:18:17,864 --> 00:18:19,504
- Oh, uh...
500
00:18:19,532 --> 00:18:21,402
Wow, this took a weird turn.
Um...
501
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:22,944
- You're gonna writea lot of novels,
502
00:18:22,969 --> 00:18:25,239
and I can finally retire.
503
00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:26,471
Sorry, hang on a second, Jack.
504
00:18:26,506 --> 00:18:27,806
Excuse me, pal.
505
00:18:27,841 --> 00:18:29,211
Get your hand outof my freaking pocket.
506
00:18:29,242 --> 00:18:30,612
- Uh, Schwonk, you okay?
507
00:18:30,643 --> 00:18:33,253
- Hey, Jack, Christ, I thinkI'm getting robbed here.
508
00:18:33,279 --> 00:18:34,549
[struggling]
509
00:18:34,581 --> 00:18:35,951
- Don't fight it.
Just--just let them have--
510
00:18:35,982 --> 00:18:37,552
- All right, all right.Take whatever you want.
511
00:18:37,584 --> 00:18:39,224
That--no,not the Psoriasis cream!
512
00:18:39,252 --> 00:18:40,622
Jack, I gotta go.
513
00:18:40,653 --> 00:18:41,893
Okay, buddy.Remember--you're Schwonk now.
514
00:18:41,921 --> 00:18:43,421
Okay, all right.Talk soon, bye-bye.
515
00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:44,486
No, no.it's for my dog!
516
00:18:44,524 --> 00:18:45,634
[call disconnects]
517
00:18:45,658 --> 00:18:46,658
- Of course.
518
00:18:46,693 --> 00:18:48,963
He was pulling a Willy Wonka.
519
00:18:48,995 --> 00:18:50,555
[both chuckle]
520
00:18:50,597 --> 00:18:51,527
- Huh.
521
00:18:51,564 --> 00:18:53,434
- Students and faculty.
522
00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:54,966
You are aboutto witness something
523
00:18:55,001 --> 00:18:56,771
you will not be able to unsee.
524
00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:59,943
- Oh, no!
525
00:18:59,973 --> 00:19:01,713
- What I'm about to do,
526
00:19:01,741 --> 00:19:04,511
I do to regain accessto the precious memories
527
00:19:04,544 --> 00:19:05,954
in my hacked email account.
528
00:19:05,979 --> 00:19:09,319
Memories which include,but are not limited to,
529
00:19:09,349 --> 00:19:11,479
a picture of me and my ex-wife
530
00:19:11,518 --> 00:19:13,588
backstage with Adam Levine.
531
00:19:13,620 --> 00:19:16,360
Adam was as gracious
as you would expect him to be.
532
00:19:16,389 --> 00:19:18,729
Especially given
his legacy of musc--
533
00:19:18,758 --> 00:19:19,928
- Ralph.
534
00:19:19,959 --> 00:19:22,329
The water is at temperature.
535
00:19:22,362 --> 00:19:24,262
- [exhales deeply]
536
00:19:24,297 --> 00:19:26,997
[suspenseful music]
537
00:19:27,033 --> 00:19:29,243
[exhales]
538
00:19:29,269 --> 00:19:30,999
- Wait, stop, stop!
It was me.
539
00:19:31,037 --> 00:19:32,537
I'm the blackmailer.
540
00:19:32,572 --> 00:19:34,472
I didn't think you would
actually go through with it.
541
00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:35,877
- Oh, thank God!
542
00:19:35,909 --> 00:19:38,809
Show's over.Grab the day by the horns!
543
00:19:38,845 --> 00:19:40,745
Bye.
544
00:19:40,780 --> 00:19:42,350
- It was you?
545
00:19:42,382 --> 00:19:44,352
But how did you do it?
546
00:19:44,384 --> 00:19:45,924
- Well, I asked Ms. Damarcus
547
00:19:45,952 --> 00:19:47,592
for my homeroom
attendance folder,
548
00:19:47,620 --> 00:19:49,490
and she gave me this.
549
00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:51,522
It has, like,
all of your passwords in it.
550
00:19:51,558 --> 00:19:53,558
- [gasps]
God.
551
00:19:53,593 --> 00:19:54,693
It's all my fault.
552
00:19:54,728 --> 00:19:55,928
- I'm so sorry, it's just--
553
00:19:55,962 --> 00:19:58,702
my mom won't let me go on the
Ohio Naturalists field trip.
554
00:19:58,732 --> 00:20:00,572
And Mr. Pugh lets
boys and girls sleep together
555
00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:01,900
in the same lodge.
556
00:20:01,935 --> 00:20:03,495
And you can zip your
sleeping bag up with a girl.
557
00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:04,866
And if I don't go,
558
00:20:04,904 --> 00:20:07,044
Eduardo might zip his
sleeping bag up with Grace's!
559
00:20:07,073 --> 00:20:08,643
- Oh, my God.
560
00:20:08,675 --> 00:20:11,005
I didn't know Mr. Pugh
allowed teenage co-bagging.
561
00:20:11,044 --> 00:20:12,884
That trip is cancelled!
562
00:20:12,912 --> 00:20:15,822
- [laughs]
What an elegant solution.
563
00:20:15,849 --> 00:20:17,379
[laughs]
564
00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:20,287
Anyway, we cool?
565
00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:21,990
- No, we're not cool!
566
00:20:22,022 --> 00:20:25,432
You have in-school suspension.
Two weeks.
567
00:20:25,458 --> 00:20:26,658
[bell rings]
568
00:20:26,693 --> 00:20:28,363
- Hello.
Hey, hey, hey.
569
00:20:28,395 --> 00:20:29,525
Look at this, kiddos.
570
00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:31,402
Look--look what
Robin Schwonk sent.
571
00:20:31,431 --> 00:20:32,801
His--his book came out.
572
00:20:32,832 --> 00:20:35,042
So, you know, he sent us
a gift package.
573
00:20:35,068 --> 00:20:38,868
He also texted me a, uh,
picture of his boat.
574
00:20:38,905 --> 00:20:42,005
It said, "Feel free to use
the yacht anytime, Jackie.
575
00:20:42,042 --> 00:20:43,682
Okay, gotta go.
Bye!"
576
00:20:43,710 --> 00:20:45,550
- Maybe no one will notice
the plagiarism.
577
00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:48,918
- [exhales]
578
00:20:48,948 --> 00:20:51,078
- You don't think anyone will
notice how the murderer talks?
579
00:20:51,117 --> 00:20:52,647
- Hm?
580
00:20:52,686 --> 00:20:54,316
- I wrapped my hands
around his neck.
581
00:20:54,354 --> 00:20:56,364
He pleaded, "Help me, God."
582
00:20:56,389 --> 00:20:58,359
I sneered, "God is a construct
583
00:20:58,391 --> 00:20:59,561
"for those who must pretend
584
00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:01,562
"that the minutia
of their daily patheticism
585
00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:04,464
ends in a great
reward--Heaven."
586
00:21:04,497 --> 00:21:06,467
Marcus's frail body went limp.
587
00:21:06,499 --> 00:21:07,799
[phone ringing]
- Up, it's Schwonk.
588
00:21:07,834 --> 00:21:09,104
Uh, okay.
[dramatic music]
589
00:21:09,135 --> 00:21:10,935
Hey.
- So.
590
00:21:10,970 --> 00:21:12,910
You tried to mount me.
591
00:21:12,939 --> 00:21:14,509
But I caught ya.
592
00:21:14,541 --> 00:21:15,681
Yeah.
593
00:21:15,709 --> 00:21:17,109
I bought the rights
to your book.
594
00:21:17,143 --> 00:21:18,953
[laughs]
595
00:21:18,978 --> 00:21:21,818
Yeah, you can't fool me 'causeI'm a god damn fox, Jackie.
596
00:21:21,848 --> 00:21:23,418
What?Oh.
597
00:21:23,450 --> 00:21:25,720
Hi.Table for two, please.
598
00:21:25,752 --> 00:21:27,852
No, I didn't make
a reservation.
599
00:21:27,887 --> 00:21:29,617
What about that empty table
right there?
600
00:21:29,656 --> 00:21:31,686
Okay, fine.
601
00:21:31,725 --> 00:21:33,355
We'll sit at the bar.
602
00:21:33,393 --> 00:21:35,133
Oh, the bar is booked.
603
00:21:35,161 --> 00:21:38,601
Wendy, let's makea little mess in this lobby.
604
00:21:38,631 --> 00:21:40,601
Dump out all the dirtfrom the plant.
605
00:21:40,633 --> 00:21:41,873
Oh, it's bolted down.
606
00:21:41,901 --> 00:21:43,741
Well just scoop it outwith your hands.
607
00:21:43,770 --> 00:21:45,670
Oh, there is room at the bar?
608
00:21:45,705 --> 00:21:47,065
Gee, how'd that happen?
609
00:21:47,107 --> 00:21:49,377
Honey, just scoop the dirt
back in with your hands.
610
00:21:49,409 --> 00:21:50,639
Yeah, yeah.
We're coming.
611
00:21:50,677 --> 00:21:51,807
We're coming!
- Oh, my God.
612
00:21:51,845 --> 00:21:53,075
- You know what, Jack?
613
00:21:53,113 --> 00:21:56,683
You could've been Schwonk,
and you blew it!
614
00:21:56,716 --> 00:21:57,676
- Wait--- Okay?
615
00:21:57,717 --> 00:21:58,787
Talk soon.Bye-bye.
616
00:21:58,818 --> 00:22:00,848
[call disconnects]
617
00:22:00,887 --> 00:22:03,487
- Well, so much for my book.
[sighs]
618
00:22:03,523 --> 00:22:05,933
Or hanging out on a yacht.
619
00:22:10,096 --> 00:22:13,426
- You stood by me, Captain.
620
00:22:13,466 --> 00:22:16,066
You said my ideas were good.
621
00:22:16,102 --> 00:22:19,442
You're my number one hero.
622
00:22:19,472 --> 00:22:21,512
I know that's not a yacht,
623
00:22:21,541 --> 00:22:23,681
but I hope it counts
for something.
624
00:22:23,710 --> 00:22:25,180
[dramatic music swells, ends]
625
00:22:25,211 --> 00:22:26,511
- [exhales]
626
00:22:26,546 --> 00:22:27,646
See, Sarika?
627
00:22:27,681 --> 00:22:30,051
This is why Heather's
my favorite.
628
00:22:30,083 --> 00:22:32,753
Unless you have another aunt
in the publishing business?
629
00:22:32,786 --> 00:22:34,086
- No.
- Just the one?
630
00:22:34,120 --> 00:22:35,860
- Yeah.
45127
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