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1
00:00:06,439 --> 00:00:07,471
Good morning, dick.
2
00:00:07,473 --> 00:00:09,274
Oh. Hello, Mary.
3
00:00:09,276 --> 00:00:10,608
Ahh.
4
00:00:10,610 --> 00:00:11,777
Young love.
5
00:00:11,779 --> 00:00:14,780
Yes. I didn't mean
to stare at them, but...
6
00:00:14,782 --> 00:00:16,782
They're really going at it.
7
00:00:16,784 --> 00:00:18,616
They really are.
8
00:00:18,618 --> 00:00:21,619
Hey! That fat guy's
blocking our view!
9
00:00:21,621 --> 00:00:23,454
Hey, chubby, keep it moving!
10
00:00:23,456 --> 00:00:24,623
Ohh!
11
00:00:24,625 --> 00:00:25,957
You scared them off.
12
00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:26,991
Ohh...
13
00:00:26,993 --> 00:00:29,661
I guess this is what
my life has become...
14
00:00:29,663 --> 00:00:31,128
Living vicariously
15
00:00:31,130 --> 00:00:33,264
through the gritty
romance of others.
16
00:00:34,434 --> 00:00:36,668
The gates of windemere?
17
00:00:36,670 --> 00:00:38,904
Yeah. Sasha Reese is
torn between two lovers,
18
00:00:38,906 --> 00:00:42,808
and every step she takes is a
guilty yet sensuous delight.
19
00:00:42,810 --> 00:00:43,675
That's junk.
20
00:00:43,677 --> 00:00:45,043
How can you say that?
21
00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:47,913
I'm telling you,
I read it. It's junk.
22
00:00:47,915 --> 00:00:49,281
Ooh.
23
00:00:49,283 --> 00:00:52,117
I saw the most romantic
movie last night.
24
00:00:52,119 --> 00:00:53,351
Man, woman, bed, cake.
25
00:00:54,653 --> 00:00:57,522
It's a German art film.
Very riveting.
26
00:00:57,524 --> 00:01:00,525
Once you figure out
which character's male
27
00:01:00,527 --> 00:01:02,461
and which character's female.
28
00:01:17,709 --> 00:01:19,644
Hey. What are you doing?
29
00:01:19,646 --> 00:01:22,247
Oh, I'm off to see
a movie at cine rutherford,
30
00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:25,083
and I refuse to pay those
outrageous concession stand prices.
31
00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:26,952
Where'd you get those?
32
00:01:26,954 --> 00:01:30,321
I bought them last time
I was at the movies.
33
00:01:30,323 --> 00:01:31,456
Wait. You're going
to the movies?
34
00:01:31,458 --> 00:01:32,624
You're not taking
the car, are you?
35
00:01:32,626 --> 00:01:34,125
No, Sally, I'm going to walk
36
00:01:34,127 --> 00:01:35,627
the 3 blocks!
37
00:01:35,629 --> 00:01:37,128
Of course I'm taking the car.
38
00:01:37,130 --> 00:01:38,930
I'm buying groceries.
I need the car.
39
00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:40,532
Well, you can have
your fun later.
40
00:01:40,534 --> 00:01:43,168
I'm so sick of this.
You have to get me my own car.
41
00:01:43,170 --> 00:01:44,902
Yeah, dick. Most families
do have 2 cars.
42
00:01:44,904 --> 00:01:47,605
Most families have a couch.
Most families have a mother.
43
00:01:47,607 --> 00:01:49,074
Most families are related.
44
00:01:49,076 --> 00:01:52,077
If that's what you want,
go move in with most families.
45
00:01:53,746 --> 00:01:54,613
Whoo!
46
00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:56,948
Well, not that
I'm thinking about it,
47
00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:59,150
but where exactly
do most families live?
48
00:01:59,152 --> 00:02:00,552
Wait, dick.
I need wheels.
49
00:02:00,554 --> 00:02:02,120
Fine. Buy a car.
50
00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:03,121
Yes!
51
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,455
A used one.
52
00:02:04,457 --> 00:02:06,257
And be sure to listen
to the car salesman.
53
00:02:06,259 --> 00:02:09,427
He's your friend,
and he's there to help.
54
00:02:48,267 --> 00:02:50,502
Well, aside from the
overpowering stench of cat musk,
55
00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:52,970
this one's a cream puff.
56
00:02:52,972 --> 00:02:54,673
This one's pretty cool, too.
57
00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:56,440
Except for that spot
on the seat.
58
00:02:56,442 --> 00:02:59,777
It's blood.
I'm getting out.
59
00:02:59,779 --> 00:03:01,779
Boys, the search is over.
60
00:03:01,781 --> 00:03:03,047
This...
61
00:03:03,049 --> 00:03:07,051
Is the most sensible car
I have ever seen.
62
00:03:07,053 --> 00:03:08,553
This car...
63
00:03:08,555 --> 00:03:10,555
Makes me feel like something
64
00:03:10,557 --> 00:03:12,557
that's always been missing
in my life
65
00:03:12,559 --> 00:03:15,026
can be solved with this
long, beautiful machine.
66
00:03:17,062 --> 00:03:19,397
It's kind of shaped
like a banana.
67
00:03:29,842 --> 00:03:30,842
Hi.
68
00:03:30,844 --> 00:03:32,043
Hello.
69
00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:36,081
You know, I've been
waiting to see this movie
70
00:03:36,083 --> 00:03:37,082
for months.
71
00:03:37,084 --> 00:03:38,583
Oh, really?
I just got here.
72
00:03:44,056 --> 00:03:46,091
Are you, uh...
73
00:03:46,093 --> 00:03:47,492
German?
74
00:03:47,494 --> 00:03:49,160
No.
75
00:03:49,162 --> 00:03:51,930
Are you trying
to make conversation?
76
00:03:51,932 --> 00:03:53,264
No.
77
00:03:54,333 --> 00:03:55,699
Yes.
78
00:03:55,701 --> 00:03:57,034
Oh...I love that.
79
00:03:57,036 --> 00:03:58,035
I'm Anita.
80
00:03:58,037 --> 00:03:59,537
I'm dick.
81
00:03:59,539 --> 00:04:01,539
So since we're both alone,
82
00:04:01,541 --> 00:04:03,374
would you like to sit together?
83
00:04:03,376 --> 00:04:05,609
Sit with you, together, us?
84
00:04:05,611 --> 00:04:07,278
Yeah.
85
00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:08,279
Well, sure.
86
00:04:10,883 --> 00:04:12,550
Oh, uh, f.Y.I.--
87
00:04:12,552 --> 00:04:14,219
raisinets on the right,
88
00:04:14,221 --> 00:04:16,187
jujubes on the left.
89
00:04:16,189 --> 00:04:17,722
Reach in...
90
00:04:25,997 --> 00:04:27,131
Oh...
91
00:04:28,967 --> 00:04:30,968
That was wonderful.
92
00:04:30,970 --> 00:04:32,970
I just loved the ending.
93
00:04:32,972 --> 00:04:35,373
I just loved
when you frenched me.
94
00:04:42,181 --> 00:04:43,681
Where's your car?
95
00:04:43,683 --> 00:04:45,416
Apparently
it's parked in heaven.
96
00:04:54,226 --> 00:04:57,529
Must have viper.
97
00:04:57,531 --> 00:04:59,363
Lieutenant, this is a mistake.
98
00:04:59,365 --> 00:05:00,965
We just need transportation.
99
00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:03,133
We're not entering
the Daytona 500.
100
00:05:03,135 --> 00:05:04,969
It was amazing.
101
00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:06,971
The power, the thrust!
102
00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:08,839
You should've driven it.
103
00:05:08,841 --> 00:05:12,676
I tried to drive it
and you bit my hand.
104
00:05:12,678 --> 00:05:14,678
All right, Sally,
let's see what we can do
105
00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:16,547
to put you into
that beautiful automobile--
106
00:05:16,549 --> 00:05:18,182
today.
107
00:05:18,184 --> 00:05:20,184
We'll think about it
and come back.
108
00:05:20,186 --> 00:05:22,386
He's just a child.
Don't pay any attention to him.
109
00:05:22,388 --> 00:05:23,755
It's ok.
I was a kid.
110
00:05:23,757 --> 00:05:25,356
Once.
111
00:05:25,358 --> 00:05:27,558
Tell me, sport,
do you like girls?
112
00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:29,260
Yeah, I do. Sorry.
113
00:05:33,164 --> 00:05:36,266
All right.
So, bill, could I have the keys now?
114
00:05:36,268 --> 00:05:38,936
Sure. But first we're
going to need 1/3 down.
115
00:05:38,938 --> 00:05:40,438
On a $60,000 car,
116
00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:41,939
that's 20,000.
117
00:05:41,941 --> 00:05:43,807
Ok, no problem.
I'm writing a check.
118
00:05:43,809 --> 00:05:45,809
Now you're thinking
like a businesswoman.
119
00:05:45,811 --> 00:05:48,746
Nothing like a check to show
the manager you're serious.
120
00:05:48,748 --> 00:05:50,547
Like a heart attack, bill.
121
00:05:50,549 --> 00:05:51,515
Ouch.
122
00:05:51,517 --> 00:05:53,317
I'll be right back.
123
00:05:53,319 --> 00:05:55,285
Have you gone insane?
124
00:05:55,287 --> 00:05:58,222
We don't have $20,000.
125
00:05:58,224 --> 00:05:59,623
Whoa. I have an idea.
126
00:05:59,625 --> 00:06:01,158
We can hold a raffle.
127
00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:03,461
That's great.
What would we raffle?
128
00:06:03,463 --> 00:06:04,395
The viper!
129
00:06:05,664 --> 00:06:06,997
Sally, that check
is gonna bounce
130
00:06:06,999 --> 00:06:08,499
and they're gonna
come after us.
131
00:06:08,501 --> 00:06:11,802
Yes, but they'll never
catch us in the viper!
132
00:06:11,804 --> 00:06:13,004
Ok.
133
00:06:13,006 --> 00:06:15,006
We ran your credit report.
134
00:06:15,008 --> 00:06:17,508
They say you don't exist.
135
00:06:17,510 --> 00:06:20,310
Oh, that's weird.
So can I take the car now?
136
00:06:20,312 --> 00:06:22,079
No. My manager
also told me
137
00:06:22,081 --> 00:06:25,249
you only have $1,300
in the bank.
138
00:06:25,251 --> 00:06:28,018
Well, that is just not true.
Who did he get that from?
139
00:06:28,020 --> 00:06:29,286
The bank.
140
00:06:29,288 --> 00:06:30,020
All right, bill,
141
00:06:30,022 --> 00:06:31,522
what do I have to do
to get this car?
142
00:06:31,524 --> 00:06:33,023
Well, that's simple.
143
00:06:33,025 --> 00:06:35,426
Less money up front and a
series of pickup payments,
144
00:06:35,428 --> 00:06:36,827
finance the back end against
the deficit down lease.
145
00:06:36,829 --> 00:06:38,363
We'll launch fiscal payoff
146
00:06:38,365 --> 00:06:41,331
or simply spread the down across
the term and use asset collateral.
147
00:06:41,333 --> 00:06:44,435
Bill, what do I have
to do to get this car?
148
00:06:47,272 --> 00:06:49,040
[Sighs]
149
00:06:49,042 --> 00:06:50,541
Oh, that was...
150
00:06:50,543 --> 00:06:53,778
Oh, I know.
Just wonderful.
151
00:06:53,780 --> 00:06:56,180
Thank you for a good time.
152
00:06:56,182 --> 00:06:59,450
Oh. Thank you for not listening
to me when I said no.
153
00:07:00,919 --> 00:07:02,420
You're a great guy.
154
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:04,422
Oh...You're terrific, too.
155
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:07,458
That's why this is going
to be so hard to say,
156
00:07:07,460 --> 00:07:09,026
but, Anita...
157
00:07:09,028 --> 00:07:12,029
I don't think I can marry you.
158
00:07:12,031 --> 00:07:13,330
You can't?
159
00:07:13,332 --> 00:07:14,765
No. Although I know
it would be
160
00:07:14,767 --> 00:07:16,033
the gentlemanly thing to do.
161
00:07:16,035 --> 00:07:17,534
I--I'm just not ready.
162
00:07:17,536 --> 00:07:18,336
Oh, dick.
163
00:07:18,338 --> 00:07:20,804
I just got through
a really messy divorce,
164
00:07:20,806 --> 00:07:22,306
and I don't want
to get married.
165
00:07:22,308 --> 00:07:24,308
I don't even want
a relationship.
166
00:07:24,310 --> 00:07:26,544
So...
167
00:07:26,546 --> 00:07:29,213
This is pretty much it.
168
00:07:29,215 --> 00:07:31,115
Oh. What are you saying?
169
00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:34,051
This is pretty much it.
170
00:07:34,053 --> 00:07:35,486
Really?
171
00:07:35,488 --> 00:07:37,955
Well, you know-- I--I hope
that you're ok with this.
172
00:07:37,957 --> 00:07:39,524
Ok?
173
00:07:39,526 --> 00:07:41,526
I'm Jim dandy!
174
00:07:41,528 --> 00:07:45,129
I had no idea this sort of
random coupling existed.
175
00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:47,131
Outside the animal kingdom.
176
00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:49,133
Tell me, are there
a lot of women
177
00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:51,068
who feel the way you do,
178
00:07:51,070 --> 00:07:54,071
and do you happen to have
their phone numbers?
179
00:07:54,073 --> 00:07:57,074
Now add the 5 and carry the 2.
180
00:07:57,076 --> 00:07:58,576
Got it.
181
00:07:58,578 --> 00:08:01,078
All right, Harry, I think
I've finally worked it out.
182
00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:02,580
If we give bill our $1,300 down
183
00:08:02,582 --> 00:08:04,515
and get a payment
of $70 a month...
184
00:08:04,517 --> 00:08:05,716
Which we can afford.
185
00:08:05,718 --> 00:08:06,817
Right.
186
00:08:06,819 --> 00:08:09,019
The car would be paid off
187
00:08:09,021 --> 00:08:10,922
in 2073.
188
00:08:12,391 --> 00:08:14,893
It'll be an antique by then.
189
00:08:14,895 --> 00:08:17,896
We could make money
on this car.
190
00:08:17,898 --> 00:08:20,564
Let's go find dick's checkbook.
Come on.
191
00:08:20,566 --> 00:08:22,633
So you guys
are getting a new car?
192
00:08:22,635 --> 00:08:23,634
Yeah. A viper.
193
00:08:23,636 --> 00:08:24,468
A viper?
194
00:08:24,470 --> 00:08:26,737
What a ridiculous
waste of money.
195
00:08:26,739 --> 00:08:28,806
Don't tell me.
Tell Sally.
196
00:08:28,808 --> 00:08:30,107
Good. I thought
you wanted it.
197
00:08:30,109 --> 00:08:33,110
You know, to impress all those
vapid bimbos at school.
198
00:08:33,112 --> 00:08:34,945
No. No.
199
00:08:34,947 --> 00:08:36,814
You mean like, uh...
200
00:08:36,816 --> 00:08:38,615
Tina Emory?
201
00:08:38,617 --> 00:08:39,550
Exactly.
202
00:08:39,552 --> 00:08:41,885
Did you see
what she had on today?
203
00:08:41,887 --> 00:08:43,821
Oh, God!
With the--ugh!
204
00:08:46,458 --> 00:08:50,862
Uh...Would you just excuse
me for just a second?
205
00:08:52,497 --> 00:08:55,532
Sally, we have got to
get that viper!
206
00:08:55,534 --> 00:08:57,368
Hello, family!
207
00:08:57,370 --> 00:08:58,869
You'll never guess.
208
00:08:58,871 --> 00:09:01,138
I had sex again.
209
00:09:05,010 --> 00:09:05,910
Oh, no.
210
00:09:05,912 --> 00:09:08,245
If you and albright
are back together,
211
00:09:08,247 --> 00:09:09,880
I'm just gonna frag us all.
212
00:09:09,882 --> 00:09:11,015
No.
213
00:09:11,017 --> 00:09:12,483
No, it wasn't Mary.
214
00:09:12,485 --> 00:09:14,018
It was Anita palone.
215
00:09:14,020 --> 00:09:17,087
A fabulous divorcee
I met at the movies.
216
00:09:17,089 --> 00:09:19,023
Oh, a little casual sex.
217
00:09:19,025 --> 00:09:20,525
Casual sex?
218
00:09:20,527 --> 00:09:23,528
Yeah, you know.
A passionate tryst with a stranger.
219
00:09:23,530 --> 00:09:26,697
Yes! Yes, that's exactly what I had.
Casual sex.
220
00:09:26,699 --> 00:09:29,801
Wham bam,
thank you, deliveryman.
221
00:09:30,768 --> 00:09:32,269
Nothing could be sweeter
222
00:09:32,271 --> 00:09:35,572
than aniter in the theater.
223
00:09:35,574 --> 00:09:36,574
Wow.
224
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:37,774
Sally:
Wait, wait, wait.
225
00:09:37,776 --> 00:09:40,510
Dick. So you just
met her, and then...
226
00:09:40,512 --> 00:09:41,778
Did you, uh, did you use...
227
00:09:41,780 --> 00:09:43,047
Oh, yeah, yeah.
228
00:09:43,049 --> 00:09:43,981
A 3-pack.
229
00:09:45,551 --> 00:09:48,553
Ribbed for her pleasure.
230
00:09:48,555 --> 00:09:50,955
I turned them inside out.
231
00:09:52,991 --> 00:09:55,592
Oh, God, you are so selfish.
232
00:09:58,630 --> 00:09:59,831
Thursday's good?
233
00:09:59,833 --> 00:10:01,432
Yeah.
Thursday's good.
234
00:10:03,669 --> 00:10:05,302
What's that for?
235
00:10:05,304 --> 00:10:06,169
For you.
236
00:10:06,171 --> 00:10:07,170
For what?
237
00:10:07,172 --> 00:10:08,572
For recommending
238
00:10:08,574 --> 00:10:10,073
man, woman, bed, cake.
239
00:10:10,075 --> 00:10:12,075
Oh, I take it you liked it.
240
00:10:12,077 --> 00:10:14,077
Oh, no.
It was God-awful.
241
00:10:14,079 --> 00:10:17,114
But I met a woman in line.
A fabulous woman.
242
00:10:17,116 --> 00:10:18,249
Ohh!
243
00:10:18,251 --> 00:10:19,950
Well, that's nice, dick.
244
00:10:19,952 --> 00:10:22,152
Oh, I'll say.
We had sex in my car.
245
00:10:22,154 --> 00:10:24,288
You did what?!
246
00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:26,156
I can't believe it either,
247
00:10:26,158 --> 00:10:27,958
but it was great.
248
00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:30,193
Why are you telling me this?
249
00:10:30,195 --> 00:10:31,595
Oh, it wasn't a big deal.
250
00:10:31,597 --> 00:10:33,130
It was casual sex.
251
00:10:33,132 --> 00:10:34,564
That's the great thing.
252
00:10:34,566 --> 00:10:36,233
Oh, yes.
253
00:10:36,235 --> 00:10:37,901
Congratulations.
254
00:10:37,903 --> 00:10:39,169
Yeah. You know,
it all started
255
00:10:39,171 --> 00:10:40,671
with these raisinets.
256
00:10:40,673 --> 00:10:42,172
I had them
in my pocket--
257
00:10:42,174 --> 00:10:43,206
[bell rings]
258
00:10:43,208 --> 00:10:44,708
Oh, damn!
I have a class.
259
00:10:44,710 --> 00:10:46,677
I'll tell you what.
We'll have lunch,
260
00:10:46,679 --> 00:10:49,680
and I'll fill you guys in
on all the sexy details, ok?
261
00:10:51,049 --> 00:10:55,552
And that, of course,
led to the big bang.
262
00:10:55,554 --> 00:10:58,922
And you just met in
line at the theater?
263
00:10:58,924 --> 00:10:59,923
You rule!
264
00:10:59,925 --> 00:11:01,258
It's pretty amazing.
265
00:11:01,260 --> 00:11:02,560
Dr. Solomon, um,
266
00:11:02,562 --> 00:11:04,562
I'm a little uncomfortable
with this dialogue.
267
00:11:04,564 --> 00:11:05,796
Oh, no, don't be.
268
00:11:05,798 --> 00:11:07,297
Just in wrapping up
this section,
269
00:11:07,299 --> 00:11:09,567
I'd like to say that after
such a wonderful night,
270
00:11:09,569 --> 00:11:12,670
for as long as I live,
I'll never forget Anita.
271
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:13,704
Anita!
272
00:11:13,706 --> 00:11:15,305
Anita palone.
273
00:11:15,307 --> 00:11:17,608
Anita palone?
That's my mom's name.
274
00:11:19,510 --> 00:11:22,379
This woman said that she
was from Pittsburgh.
275
00:11:22,381 --> 00:11:24,281
My mom lives in Pittsburgh,
276
00:11:24,283 --> 00:11:26,650
and...She was visiting me
this weekend.
277
00:11:26,652 --> 00:11:29,953
Well, then it must be her!
278
00:11:29,955 --> 00:11:31,455
My God, bug!
279
00:11:31,457 --> 00:11:34,458
How could you have been
in my class for 3 years
280
00:11:34,460 --> 00:11:37,295
and never mentioned how
incredibly hot your mom was?!
281
00:11:39,130 --> 00:11:42,233
Talk about coincidence!
282
00:11:47,372 --> 00:11:48,505
Hi, Mary.
283
00:11:48,507 --> 00:11:49,540
Nina.
284
00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:50,908
Hello,
Mr. goodbar.
285
00:11:52,211 --> 00:11:53,778
[Sing-song]
I have news.
286
00:11:53,780 --> 00:11:56,580
You nailed the scrubwoman
in the broom closet.
287
00:11:57,849 --> 00:11:58,983
No.
288
00:11:58,985 --> 00:12:00,518
No. You remember
my telling you
289
00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:01,919
about my one-night stand?
290
00:12:03,087 --> 00:12:04,822
Rings a bell.
291
00:12:04,824 --> 00:12:07,425
Turns out she's bug's mother.
292
00:12:07,427 --> 00:12:09,293
How did you find that out?
293
00:12:09,295 --> 00:12:12,096
Oh, I was rhapsodizing
about it in class.
294
00:12:12,098 --> 00:12:14,565
Once I told him her name,
bug guessed.
295
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:18,536
You don't care
whose feelings you hurt.
296
00:12:18,538 --> 00:12:19,771
Like who?
297
00:12:19,773 --> 00:12:20,872
Bug, for instance?
298
00:12:20,874 --> 00:12:22,940
I didn't realize.
299
00:12:22,942 --> 00:12:24,575
Of course you didn't.
300
00:12:24,577 --> 00:12:26,110
Well, why are you so angry?
301
00:12:26,112 --> 00:12:27,044
I'm not.
302
00:12:27,046 --> 00:12:28,613
As a matter of fact,
303
00:12:28,615 --> 00:12:31,015
I could care less what you do,
304
00:12:31,017 --> 00:12:32,617
you huge ass!
305
00:12:32,619 --> 00:12:35,119
You know, if I were the Dean,
306
00:12:35,121 --> 00:12:37,854
I'd slap you in the face.
307
00:12:39,123 --> 00:12:40,491
Hey!
308
00:12:40,493 --> 00:12:41,892
You're not the Dean!
309
00:12:42,961 --> 00:12:44,896
What was that for?
310
00:12:44,898 --> 00:12:47,197
You know, there are two kinds
of people in this world.
311
00:12:47,199 --> 00:12:49,166
Those who want loving,
monogamous relationships
312
00:12:49,168 --> 00:12:51,869
and those who hop from bed to
bed having meaningless sex!
313
00:12:51,871 --> 00:12:55,573
Yes. I was the former, now I'm the latter.
What's the big deal?
314
00:12:55,575 --> 00:12:58,075
You know,
if I were Dr. albright,
315
00:12:58,077 --> 00:12:59,944
I'd slap you in the face.
316
00:13:01,246 --> 00:13:02,713
Hey!
317
00:13:02,715 --> 00:13:05,015
You're not Dr. albright!
318
00:13:07,786 --> 00:13:10,120
And the viper...
319
00:13:10,122 --> 00:13:13,558
Has 420 horsepower.
320
00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:15,960
Wow. Sounds like a lot.
321
00:13:15,962 --> 00:13:17,394
Oh, it's plenty.
322
00:13:19,163 --> 00:13:20,163
Oh.
323
00:13:20,165 --> 00:13:22,165
Tina Emory.
What a surprise.
324
00:13:22,167 --> 00:13:24,969
Gee, Tommy, I had no idea
you were so popular.
325
00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:26,170
Well...
326
00:13:26,172 --> 00:13:27,271
Now you know.
327
00:13:28,674 --> 00:13:31,209
And you're such
good friends with Tina.
328
00:13:31,211 --> 00:13:32,777
Yes, I am.
329
00:13:32,779 --> 00:13:36,247
We met at school when he told
me he was getting a viper.
330
00:13:36,249 --> 00:13:38,416
Where is the viper, anyway?
331
00:13:38,418 --> 00:13:39,750
Oh, it's coming.
332
00:13:39,752 --> 00:13:41,085
When is it coming?
333
00:13:41,087 --> 00:13:44,955
'Cause I hate to have to
keep riding to school
334
00:13:44,957 --> 00:13:46,424
in Doug toffler's trans am.
335
00:13:46,426 --> 00:13:49,493
Well, that won't be
necessary at all.
336
00:13:49,495 --> 00:13:51,996
Uh...I'll--
I'll be right back.
337
00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:53,297
I'll be...Right back.
338
00:13:53,299 --> 00:13:55,199
Dick, I'm in very big trouble.
339
00:13:55,201 --> 00:13:56,500
We need that viper now!
340
00:13:56,502 --> 00:13:57,902
What's the emergency?
341
00:13:57,904 --> 00:13:59,403
My love life depends on it.
342
00:13:59,405 --> 00:14:00,471
Ahh!
343
00:14:00,473 --> 00:14:02,473
Looking for a little
casual sex, eh?
344
00:14:02,475 --> 00:14:05,476
I would be happy to get
to casual first base
345
00:14:05,478 --> 00:14:06,477
with this one.
346
00:14:06,479 --> 00:14:07,645
Don't sweat it, Tommy.
347
00:14:07,647 --> 00:14:09,180
You'll get there.
348
00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:12,216
Of course, you might get
slapped a couple of times
349
00:14:12,218 --> 00:14:13,617
in the process.
350
00:14:13,619 --> 00:14:15,219
But you will have a ball.
351
00:14:15,221 --> 00:14:16,720
Cool.
352
00:14:16,722 --> 00:14:18,755
True, there's a chance that you'll
lose a little self-respect,
353
00:14:18,757 --> 00:14:20,191
but it's a lot of fun.
354
00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:21,492
Sounds good.
355
00:14:21,494 --> 00:14:23,561
That is, if you don't compare
356
00:14:23,563 --> 00:14:27,497
those few seedy moments with a
relationship that once meant...
357
00:14:27,499 --> 00:14:29,400
Everything to you.
358
00:14:29,402 --> 00:14:31,736
Ok.
359
00:14:31,738 --> 00:14:34,305
So if that sounds good...
360
00:14:34,307 --> 00:14:36,674
Go for it.
361
00:14:36,676 --> 00:14:39,109
[Sobbing]
362
00:14:42,014 --> 00:14:44,081
Come on in, folks.
Please.
363
00:14:44,083 --> 00:14:46,216
I have some news.
364
00:14:46,218 --> 00:14:48,686
We, uh, ahem...
365
00:14:48,688 --> 00:14:50,121
We got the deal!
366
00:14:50,123 --> 00:14:52,189
For 1,300 down and $70 a month?
367
00:14:52,191 --> 00:14:53,190
Exactly.
368
00:14:53,192 --> 00:14:54,959
Yes!
369
00:14:54,961 --> 00:14:57,528
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
370
00:14:57,530 --> 00:15:00,464
You got the numbers right,
but you misspelled viper.
371
00:15:00,466 --> 00:15:02,199
It's spelled "pinto."
372
00:15:02,201 --> 00:15:03,267
Ooh!
373
00:15:03,269 --> 00:15:04,268
Pinto.
374
00:15:04,270 --> 00:15:05,469
Pinto. Pinto. Pinto.
375
00:15:05,471 --> 00:15:06,603
Pinto. Pinto. Pinto.
376
00:15:06,605 --> 00:15:08,072
Is that like a souped up viper?
377
00:15:08,074 --> 00:15:09,140
Actually, no.
378
00:15:09,142 --> 00:15:11,008
It's that brown one
right out there.
379
00:15:11,010 --> 00:15:12,476
Pinto.
380
00:15:14,845 --> 00:15:16,413
That?
381
00:15:16,415 --> 00:15:17,614
Oh.
382
00:15:17,616 --> 00:15:19,383
But I thought that's
what you fed the viper.
383
00:15:19,385 --> 00:15:21,419
"Fed the viper."
No, Sally.
384
00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:22,552
Please.
385
00:15:22,554 --> 00:15:24,989
I want to make your
dream of having a car
386
00:15:24,991 --> 00:15:26,123
come true,
387
00:15:26,125 --> 00:15:28,625
and after reviewing your
financial situation,
388
00:15:28,627 --> 00:15:31,128
I've chosen
a Ford pinto for you
389
00:15:31,130 --> 00:15:32,629
and your driving needs.
390
00:15:32,631 --> 00:15:34,565
That's what I do, Sally.
I'm a professional.
391
00:15:34,567 --> 00:15:36,634
I don't want a pinto.
392
00:15:36,636 --> 00:15:38,135
I don't want one.
393
00:15:38,137 --> 00:15:39,704
I hear you, Sally.
I do.
394
00:15:39,706 --> 00:15:41,439
Tell you what.
Let me check inventory.
395
00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:45,009
Say. There's
a '75 nova out back
396
00:15:45,011 --> 00:15:48,012
that I was saving for a friend.
397
00:15:48,014 --> 00:15:49,013
Hey.
398
00:15:49,015 --> 00:15:50,548
[Clicks tongue] Yeah.
399
00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:52,616
Ok. Ok, we can't panic.
400
00:15:52,618 --> 00:15:55,119
We cannot let that viper
slip away.
401
00:15:55,121 --> 00:15:56,953
This guy has to have
a weakness. I mean...
402
00:15:56,955 --> 00:15:58,322
What?
I've got it!
403
00:15:58,324 --> 00:15:59,423
We can't win.
404
00:15:59,425 --> 00:16:00,992
What?
405
00:16:00,994 --> 00:16:03,060
We can't win.
406
00:16:03,062 --> 00:16:05,563
This is no ordinary guy.
407
00:16:05,565 --> 00:16:08,165
He's a soul sucker.
408
00:16:08,167 --> 00:16:09,734
Dear God.
409
00:16:09,736 --> 00:16:10,968
You're right.
410
00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:12,970
We've encountered
his kind before.
411
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:14,638
He's an evil force of nature.
412
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:16,140
A black hole.
413
00:16:16,142 --> 00:16:17,575
He feeds on our desperation.
414
00:16:17,577 --> 00:16:19,643
Tom, what are you saying?
415
00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:21,145
It just makes him stronger.
416
00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:23,647
There's only one thing
we can do, lieutenant.
417
00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:25,482
We've got to walk away.
418
00:16:25,484 --> 00:16:26,517
No, no, no, no!
419
00:16:26,519 --> 00:16:28,085
I hate walking!
420
00:16:28,087 --> 00:16:29,986
We've got to!
421
00:16:31,022 --> 00:16:32,523
Well...
422
00:16:32,525 --> 00:16:35,025
I made a friend cry.
423
00:16:35,027 --> 00:16:37,361
But the nova's yours, Sally.
424
00:16:37,363 --> 00:16:39,195
Sally?
425
00:16:44,569 --> 00:16:45,569
No.
426
00:16:45,571 --> 00:16:48,405
Yes! You can
drive her home today.
427
00:16:50,675 --> 00:16:51,842
No.
428
00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:53,377
Huh?
429
00:16:53,379 --> 00:16:55,312
I said no.
430
00:16:55,314 --> 00:16:56,780
Come on, Sally,
431
00:16:56,782 --> 00:16:58,315
I am ready to make this deal.
432
00:16:58,317 --> 00:16:59,350
Ha ha ha ha!
433
00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:01,318
No!
434
00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:02,853
I'll throw in floor
mats, fabric guard,
435
00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:03,854
and undercoating.
436
00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:05,423
Ok, boys, step aside.
437
00:17:05,425 --> 00:17:07,892
You have taken the joyful
experience of buying a car
438
00:17:07,894 --> 00:17:09,693
and turned it into
something ugly!
439
00:17:13,965 --> 00:17:16,534
You know what you are, buddy?
440
00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:18,802
A car salesman.
441
00:17:18,804 --> 00:17:20,304
Yeah, that's right.
442
00:17:20,306 --> 00:17:23,740
A big steaming pile
of car salesman!
443
00:17:23,742 --> 00:17:26,777
Well, you just
lost yourself a sale!
444
00:17:26,779 --> 00:17:28,578
Come on, boys!
445
00:17:32,550 --> 00:17:34,551
Ok. I don't have a car,
446
00:17:34,553 --> 00:17:36,987
but I'm interested
in your undercoating.
447
00:17:44,462 --> 00:17:46,463
Mary, I just wanted you to know
448
00:17:46,465 --> 00:17:48,465
I've made it up to bug.
449
00:17:48,467 --> 00:17:50,467
I have him an "a" on his test.
450
00:17:50,469 --> 00:17:51,968
You faked his grade?
451
00:17:51,970 --> 00:17:53,470
Yes.
I made things right.
452
00:17:53,472 --> 00:17:55,171
Oh, dick, you can't do that.
453
00:17:55,173 --> 00:17:56,107
Why not?
454
00:17:56,109 --> 00:17:57,708
Well--you just can't.
455
00:17:57,710 --> 00:18:00,878
What do you want from me?!
456
00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:02,947
I want you to think, dick.
457
00:18:02,949 --> 00:18:06,951
I want you to think about how
your actions affect other people.
458
00:18:06,953 --> 00:18:09,453
What about the other
students in your class,
459
00:18:09,455 --> 00:18:10,955
the ones you've hurt?
460
00:18:10,957 --> 00:18:13,924
Sure, they act like they're
not vulnerable, but they are.
461
00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:17,227
I've never seen you this concerned
about other people before.
462
00:18:17,229 --> 00:18:18,728
Is this about you?
463
00:18:20,131 --> 00:18:22,099
Yes, it's about me.
464
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:24,168
But, Mary, we're broken up.
465
00:18:24,170 --> 00:18:26,070
We have been for months.
466
00:18:26,072 --> 00:18:28,639
I know, but...
There's still some stupid part of me
467
00:18:28,641 --> 00:18:30,907
that thought we might
get back together.
468
00:18:30,909 --> 00:18:32,676
I have that stupid part, too!
469
00:18:32,678 --> 00:18:35,145
Forget it.
We're not getting back together.
470
00:18:35,147 --> 00:18:36,146
Why not?
471
00:18:36,148 --> 00:18:37,647
'Cause you ruined it.
472
00:18:37,649 --> 00:18:40,150
I thought I'd already
ruined everything
473
00:18:40,152 --> 00:18:41,584
I could possibly ruin!
474
00:18:41,586 --> 00:18:43,553
Well, you missed a spot.
475
00:18:45,423 --> 00:18:47,424
Oh, what was I thinking?
476
00:18:47,426 --> 00:18:48,926
Anita was a mistake.
477
00:18:48,928 --> 00:18:51,428
It was fun for a while,
478
00:18:51,430 --> 00:18:53,931
but then it was so...
Empty.
479
00:18:53,933 --> 00:18:56,333
Not like with you.
480
00:18:56,335 --> 00:18:57,835
I'm sorry.
481
00:18:59,304 --> 00:19:01,104
Hugs?
482
00:19:05,143 --> 00:19:08,145
Ok, but don't grind me.
483
00:19:10,948 --> 00:19:12,249
Dr. sol--
484
00:19:12,251 --> 00:19:15,853
wow. You'll nail anything
that moves.
485
00:19:15,855 --> 00:19:17,421
Come here.
486
00:19:17,423 --> 00:19:20,357
Please, just give me
a moment alone with--
487
00:19:20,359 --> 00:19:21,692
bug, uh, sit down, bug.
488
00:19:23,094 --> 00:19:24,361
I've learned a lot
489
00:19:24,363 --> 00:19:26,797
over the past
few days, bug, and...
490
00:19:26,799 --> 00:19:28,399
I just want to say that...
491
00:19:28,401 --> 00:19:31,535
I'm sorry for what I said
about your mother.
492
00:19:31,537 --> 00:19:34,104
Also, I feel it only fair
493
00:19:34,106 --> 00:19:37,107
to give you
the grade you deserve,
494
00:19:37,109 --> 00:19:39,910
which, as you probably
know, is an "f."
495
00:19:39,912 --> 00:19:40,911
Ohh!
496
00:19:40,913 --> 00:19:42,913
Oh, first you and my mom,
497
00:19:42,915 --> 00:19:44,481
and now you're
giving me an "f"?
498
00:19:44,483 --> 00:19:45,482
Oh, man.
499
00:19:45,484 --> 00:19:46,417
Oh, man!
500
00:19:46,419 --> 00:19:47,717
Bug!
501
00:19:51,089 --> 00:19:52,556
Dad.
502
00:19:52,558 --> 00:19:53,624
Frankie.
503
00:19:53,626 --> 00:19:54,992
Pauly.
504
00:19:58,129 --> 00:20:00,564
Is this the illustrious
Dr. Solomon?
505
00:20:00,566 --> 00:20:02,266
Yes, that's me.
And you are?
506
00:20:02,268 --> 00:20:03,801
So angry!
507
00:20:03,803 --> 00:20:05,669
Dad--
shut up, son.
508
00:20:05,671 --> 00:20:07,905
I mean that
in the most caring way.
509
00:20:07,907 --> 00:20:09,974
I'm glad you're here,
Mr. palone.
510
00:20:09,976 --> 00:20:13,010
I was just telling bug
how concerned I was
511
00:20:13,012 --> 00:20:15,112
about your ex-wife's
lurid sexcapades.
512
00:20:15,114 --> 00:20:17,147
Will you please
stop talking about that?
513
00:20:17,149 --> 00:20:19,883
You'd think this was
the first woman you ever had.
514
00:20:19,885 --> 00:20:21,452
Well, not to brag,
515
00:20:21,454 --> 00:20:24,387
but actually, it's my second.
516
00:20:24,389 --> 00:20:26,790
Oh, a ladies' man.
517
00:20:26,792 --> 00:20:28,024
Big shot.
518
00:20:28,026 --> 00:20:29,793
Smooth talker.
519
00:20:29,795 --> 00:20:31,362
You should be ashamed
of yourself!
520
00:20:31,364 --> 00:20:32,696
No, no, no.
Hold on.
521
00:20:32,698 --> 00:20:34,698
I'm just trying to set
my house in order.
522
00:20:34,700 --> 00:20:36,667
Granted, having sex with
her in my car is fun--
523
00:20:36,669 --> 00:20:39,469
you had it in your car?
524
00:20:41,639 --> 00:20:43,307
Don't hit him!
525
00:20:43,309 --> 00:20:44,875
Let me go!
526
00:20:44,877 --> 00:20:47,644
I don't care if I ever
play the harp again!
527
00:20:47,646 --> 00:20:48,645
Aah!
528
00:20:48,647 --> 00:20:51,948
I'll kill him!
I'll kill him!
529
00:20:54,953 --> 00:20:57,021
I wonder how long
I can convince Tina
530
00:20:57,023 --> 00:20:58,489
that the viper's in the shop.
531
00:20:58,491 --> 00:21:00,557
Oh, probably a long time.
532
00:21:00,559 --> 00:21:03,694
Yeah. She's not the shiniest
coin in the fountain.
533
00:21:03,696 --> 00:21:05,262
Don't worry, Tommy.
534
00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:06,764
We'll get a car eventually.
535
00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:08,265
It was just our bad luck
536
00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:10,267
that we happened to get
the one car salesman
537
00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:12,469
who gives his whole
profession a bad name.
538
00:21:13,671 --> 00:21:14,671
Hey!
539
00:21:14,673 --> 00:21:16,172
Groovy meat monocle.
540
00:21:16,174 --> 00:21:17,107
Oh, thanks.
541
00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:19,176
No more casual sex for you.
542
00:21:19,178 --> 00:21:22,512
You know, there's no such
thing as casual sex.
543
00:21:22,514 --> 00:21:24,515
It has all these repercussions.
544
00:21:24,517 --> 00:21:25,915
Well, maybe it wouldn't
545
00:21:25,917 --> 00:21:27,384
if you'd just shut up about it.
546
00:21:27,386 --> 00:21:28,952
If I hadn't talked about it,
547
00:21:28,954 --> 00:21:31,521
I never would have
found out something wonderful.
548
00:21:31,523 --> 00:21:33,257
That Mary still cares about me.
549
00:21:33,259 --> 00:21:36,193
Oh, like I said, you should
have just shut up about it.
550
00:21:36,195 --> 00:21:37,093
Wow.
551
00:21:40,798 --> 00:21:43,800
Captioned by the national captioning
institute --www.Ncicap.Org--
552
00:21:45,770 --> 00:21:48,672
excuse me, but is this the
line for the 3:15 show?
553
00:21:48,674 --> 00:21:51,074
No, no.
N-no, you don't!
554
00:21:51,076 --> 00:21:53,143
I'm just here to see a movie.
555
00:21:53,145 --> 00:21:55,646
I'm not having sex with you!
556
00:21:55,648 --> 00:21:57,648
Please, just take
some raisinets and go.
557
00:21:57,650 --> 00:21:58,815
Leave me alone!
558
00:21:58,817 --> 00:21:59,850
Go on!
559
00:21:59,852 --> 00:22:02,085
Go on!
560
00:22:02,087 --> 00:22:04,087
That was a close one.
561
00:22:04,089 --> 00:22:06,956
Keep running, you vulgar slut!
36948
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