Original subtitles

-(DANCE MUSIC THUMPS) -Party forever!

Whoo! Yeah!

That�s my Sarah!

I�m never gonna regret tonight!

Whoo! Yeah!

-(SARAH GROANS) -(MAGPIE WARBLES OUTSIDE)

-Uh! -Don�t worry.

We didn�t do anything.

I was just admiring you all night.

(MOANS)

(BRIGHT MUSIC)

-(HEAVY FOOTSTEPS) -What�s up?

(SIGHS)

I�m just thinking.

Is this what I�m supposed to be doing with my life?

Just going out and getting wasted every night?

(SIGHS) I don�t know, I just...

..feel like I�m stuck in a loop of partying and regret.

(PHONE CHIMES)

(DING!)

Oh, God, even my horoscope

says my life sucks.

(SOBS)

Well, Sarah, if you�re feeling depressed,

you can always go and stay

in our holiday house on Planet Bali.

You know what? That...

That actually sounds like a good idea.

Well, you can use my rocket if you want.

I�ve got it in the garage.

Bloody thing hasn�t been used in ages.

Oh, yeah, sure. That�d be great, Dad.

OK, fine! You wanna use it, fine.

Just take things when you wanna use them,

if that�s the kind of person you are.

I was just about to use it, but that�s fine.

If you don�t wanna use it, that�s fine, that�s OK. Yep.

BILL: There it is.

I call it... Rocket,

the Dad... the Dad Rocket,

2... 3000.

-Is it safe? -(SNIFFS) Nuh.

Alright, I�m ready to leave! Let�s go!

Uh, look, Rachel,

I like going out with you and partying and everything,

but I think we need a bit of a break from each other.

What?

Not forever. It�s just... well...

My horoscope said I need a break from my toxic best friend

and I was thinking that might mean you.

(SNARLS) Nah!

I think I wanna be

alone on this trip.

Sure. Fine.

That�s OK.

Thanks for understanding, Rachel.

(WHIRRING)

You and I can... can hang out if you want.

Salutations!

Get the ---- outta my ---- face, ----! ---- off!

OK, if that�s the way you want to play it,

I guess you won�t find out how we can get to Sarah, then.

(CHUCKLES)

What are you talking about?

Yes, I�ve been working on my own rocket for a while now.

My little passion project, you could say.

It�s a little weekend hobby.

SHOW ME!

I call it the Lucas Rocket.

Literally the best rocket of all time.

Can we catch up to Sarah with it?

Yes, if we leave promptly.

By my calculations,

Sarah should be in the Omega Region about now.

SONG: ? The Omega Region!

(MUSIC PLAYS SOFTLY THROUGH HEADPHONES)

Ahh, this is exactly what I needed.

(SCREECHES) Approaching Planet Bali!

-SARAH: Oh! -(ELECTRICITY CRACKLES)

-(ALARM BLARES) -(WHIMPERS)

(SINGS) ? Welcome to Planet Bali... ?

(SARAH SCREAMS)

(WHOOSHING)

(STAMMERS)

(ALARM BLARES)

(WHIMPERS)

(ROCKET ROARS)

Ugh!

(GRUNTS)

(SIGHS)

FEMALE VOICE: Are you OK?

Oh, I think so. (GASPS)

What�s going on? Where am I? Am I dead?

No, you�re on Planet Horoscope.

I�m Capricorn.

I�m guessing you�re here for tonight�s frat party.

I�m not going because I wasn�t invited

because everyone hates me.

I was gonna play marbles instead.

-Marbles? -Yeah.

When I get depressed or anxious,

I play marbles by myself.

It just makes me happy. I don�t know.

I�m just a weirdo or something.

But then your rocket crash-landed

right next to me.

-Do you wanna play with me? -Sorry, I can�t.

I need to get my rocket fixed.

-I was on my way to Planet Bali. -Oh. OK.

-(MAGICAL TINKLING) -(PHONE CHIMES)

"Capricorns will be rejected today"?

Oh, my God. You�re a Capricorn?

Yeah. Wait a second.

Does this have something to do with you?

Yeah. I�m your star sign.

Anything that happens to me or my 11 frat mates

happens to all humans on earth.

And, yeah, I�ve been having a pretty shit time lately.

So whatever happens to you happens to me?

Mm-hm.

You know what, Capricorn?

I�m gonna come to that party

and make sure you have the best time ever.

LOL! Look at �Crapricorn� trying to make friends!

What a loser!

Yeah, you get him, Sagittarius. You get him.

Come on, guys. Let�s go to the party. (LAUGHS)

Oh, I must play with my marbles and forget this awful world.

No, wait. Don�t worry about them.

Let�s go get you ready.

Nuh, nuh! No more YOLO.

-CHORUS: Boring! -Move that over!

You�re watching a new TV show right now.

You�re watching:

Mmm, it appears Sarah has gone off course.

Computer, set a course for Planet Horoscope.

Rachel, would you like to say anything to the computer?

(SOFTLY) No.

Calal Mulooki, how long until we drop out of hyperspace

and reach Planet Horoscope�s orbit?

"Oh, it will be 20 minutes, captain!"

-Can you shut the ---- up? -Oh!

Dear passengers,

I�ve entrapped your ship.

You have made the mistake

of flying into the Gaganosh Region. (CHUCKLES)

Is that... What is that?

We have locked your ship down until we find

an appropriate way to deal with you,

which will be death. (CHUCKLES)

Ah, egad, it appears we have been entangled

in a cosmic misadventure.

Don�t worry, Rachel.

In the name of Emperor Neona,

we shall prevail over this domineering evil!

(RACHEL GROANS)

See? It�s a wonder, what a little bit of color can do.

Are you sure I look OK?

You look so hot.

And you know what? That�s such a Capricorn trait.

That�s it. I�m gonna do it.

Tonight, I�m gonna talk to my crush.

That�s the spirit!

He won�t be able to turn you down looking like that.

You know what, Sarah?

I�m really glad you crash-landed here.

You�re the closest thing I�ve ever had to a real friend.

-(MAGICAL TINKLING) -(PHONE CHIMES)

(DING!)

I feel the same way, Capricorn.

(DRUNKEN SHOUTING)

(DANCE MUSIC THUMPS)

Alright, so I�ll introduce you to everyone.

That�s Virgo. She�s smart, sophisticated and kind.

She gets the job done without complaining.

-Virgos are amazing... -OK. Yeah, I get it.

Oh, Capricorn. Didn�t think you�d show up.

Thought you�d be at home reading books

or something super-duper lame like that! (LAUGHS)

-Super-duper-duper... -No. Shh.

(WHIMPERS)

Oh, God. That�s him.

Oh! So, what�s his name?

(SIGHS) Aquarius.

He�s been my crush for, like, literally forever.

But he never notices me.

Well, let�s see what he thinks of the new Capricorn.

(AQUARIUS CHATTERS INDISTINCTLY)

Huh? (CONTINUES CHATTERING)

I don�t think I can do this. I don�t feel comfortable.

I just wanna play marbles. Just let me play marbles.

No, no! You can do it. Trust me.

-(MAGICAL TINKLING) -(PHONE CHIMES)

(SIGHS) We need to get him to notice you.

Just do that sexy walk like we practiced.

-Are you sure about this? -Yes. Go!

(CHEESY ROCK MUSIC)

-Hi, I�m Cap... -(CRACK)

(ALL LAUGH)

Crapricorn is literally

the worst, most losery thing in the universe!

-(ALL LAUGH) -HOROSCOPE: You dumb idiot!

(WEEPS)

(LAUGHS) Whoa, wait.

You�re into marbles?

(STAMMERS) Yes.

So... Uh, Jesus, this is weird.

-So am I. -(MARBLES CLINK IN BAG)

Oh...

Some of these are pretty rare too.

There�s only 10 of this one in existence.

Do you wanna, like,

date or something?

Uh... OK.

(PHONE CHIMES)

(DING!)

(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

Get ready to die! (CHUCKLES)

Oh!

(PHONE CHIMES)

One sec. My horoscope just came in.

"As an Aquarius, you will find true... love today"?

-Guys... you can go. -(GENTLE MUSIC)

Get out of here.

I�m in a really good mood right now.

I�m gonna find love. Wow, me!

Thank you, space beast.

I guess love can even exist in space.

Yeah. I guess it can.

SONG: ? My horoscope came and said that I�d find love today

? I love you.

Capricorn, I�m so happy for you! You did it!

Where are you going?

Oh, Aquarius and I are going to Planet Bali.

Oh, great! That�s where I was going. Can I come?

Um, Sarah, to be honest,

I know what you were doing.

You were just trying to help me for your own selfish reasons.

-You�re... kind of toxic. -What?

CAPRICORN: It was nice meeting you, I guess. �Bye!

How am I supposed to get home?

Ah!

Oi! Get in, ya ---- head!

Rachel! Thank God.

SONG: ? La-da-da...

And then my horoscope went to Planet Bali with Aquarius

and abandoned me.

Hmm. Sounds familiar.

(SIGHS) I�m sorry, Rachel.

I shouldn�t have treated you like that.

But being away from you

made me realize how much I appreciate you.

Friends?

Best friends.

-Oh, uh... -Oh. Sorry.

Onwards to the next epic

and wacky adventure...!