Original subtitles

SONG: ? YOLO Crystal Fantasy

? The Bush Doof Episode...

(SONG TRAILS OFF)

(RELAXED MUSIC)

When are we getting to the club?

We�re not going to a club, Rachel.

We�re just going on a nice relaxing Sunday drive.

-What?! -It�ll be nice and refreshing.

Rachel, I think we both need it. Let�s put on the radio.

When are we getting to the club?

WOMAN: Hey, Stav and Miki here

and you�re listening to Quadruple Jay.

MAN: Totes.

Hey, if you�re mungin� down the Hume Highway now

and wanna go to a totally cooked party,

there�s a fully sick Bush Doof...

WOMAN: Whoo! Bush Doof.

MAN: Yeah, we�re broadcasting live from The Boof

and it�s already heaps chockers

We�re so excited.

WOMAN: We�re literally super psyched.

Like, screaming right now.

(DRAWLS) Super... psyched.

Come on down and you can win a free Tame Impala shirt.

-STAV: Tame Impalaaa. -MIKI: Tame Impalaaaa.

Mmm. Yummy.

T-shirt.

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYS ON RADIO)

-Hey, what�s that? -What�s what?

-(SCREAMS) -(TIRES SQUEAL)

(BOTH GROAN)

-Rachel, why�d you do that?! -Come on!

Let�s just stay, like, five minutes.

Oh, my God! The car, Rachel!

We�re really in trouble.

Just five minutes! Jeez!

(CREAKING)

(GASPS)

Welcome to the Doof!

I am Peleeken Mischief Maker.

And, yes, it is OK to park your car here.

Welcome! Have a dreamcatcher.

Have two, have three! Just kidding. Maybe just two.

Oh, thank you!

-(GRUNTS) -Ooh!

Positive vibes only, everybody! (CHUCKLES)

Anyhoo, I must summon our transport. Bligdp!

(PANTS)

(SCREAMS)

(SINGS) ? We�re riding on the Bush Bus

? Riding on the Bush Bus All day long, all day long. ?

This is the main area of the Bush Doof.

There�s the drum cube.

Dreamy vibes and genuinely good acoustics.

Oh, and there�s the silent disco.

Aesthetic vibes as fudge

and headed by the Blue Bush Wizard himself!

-Yes! -Sensational!

And over there, my friends. They�re my best friends!

We�re not your friends, Peleeken!

-We ---- hate you. -Go away.

You come on way too strong.

They�re just kidding around. We�re besties.

Roar! Roar! I�m a dinosaur.

Roar. (GIGGLES) Anyhoo...

Have fun. Have fun at the Bush Doof!

Love you, love you, love you! Love you!

Sarah, I just have to tell you something,

just so I can get it off my chest.

One day, I�m going to kill Peleeken Mischief Maker.

(DRAWLS) Wow, the energy from this crowd is infectious, hey?

I�m so hella pumped. People are having a sick time all �round.

Sun�s out, fun�s out.

Oh, and look at the time. You guessed it.

It�s time to give out the free Tame Impala shirt.

-(CROWD CHEERS) -Tame Impala shirt!

Tame Impalaaa.

Mine, ----! (SLURPS)

Whichever one of you legends snags this up

can come to the afterparty in Brunswick.

Huh?

(PANTS)

(GRUNTS)

I want that ---- T-shirt!

Ah!

Hey, come here, you little ----! Grrr!

Oh, no! Pwease, no!

Oh, my God, Rachel! It can talk!

Pwease! I�m just a wittle baby possum.

Oh, don�t hurt him, Rachel, please.

He ---- bit me!

Pwease, before you hurt me, just listen to my story, pwease?

Oh, come on, Rachel. He�s saying �pwease�.

(GROANS) Fine.

My story begins back in time 5,000 years ago.

The Blue Bush Wizard was trying to dominate

all possums on the land

and I made the mistake of trying to fight back.

I rallied my possum brethren around me,

but, alas, we were no match for

his epic and super-powerful magic spells.

They fell in battle. My fellow possum soldiers, that is.

I was captured and locked away in the cage

in the tree until you rescued me.

I�m a wizard!

Pwease take me home so I can see my mummy. (SOBS)

Oh, it�s alright, little buddy. You�re gonna be fine.

OK, Rachel. Let�s take him back to his nest.

I�m not taking that possum anywhere.

What? Didn�t you hear it?

It�s been locked away for 5,000 years

by the Blue Bush Wizard.

I don�t care!

-Fine. Don�t come, then. -Fine. I won�t.

-Fine! -I�m going to the silent disco.

�Bye!

(BIRDS CHIRP SOFTLY)

(FOOTSTEPS PATTER)

(WIZARD ON HEADPHONES) Oi, you!

Yes, you. Listen to me.

Listen very carefully.

Keep dancing. Don�t stop.

OK, quick backstory. I forgot my music back at my apartment.

I don�t wanna look like an idiot in front of Quadruple Jay

so just pretend like you�re dancing, alright?

Look up.

(GUN CLICKS)

Ugh... Uhh...

Good, good.

Just keep dancing

and everything will be fine.

God! I can�t do this anymore!

(GUNSHOT)

Talk about big mood.

Looks like somebody just got assassinated

by a sniper bullet on the dance floor.

Yeww! Sun�s out, guns out.

Don�t mind my friend Rachel. I think she really likes you.

She just has a tough time expressing emotions sometimes.

Oh, my God, that�s fine. Don�t even worry about it, seriously.

To be honest, the fact you put up with

such a toxic friend like Rachel

shows how much of a good person you are, Sarah.

(SIGHS) God, you�re so cool.

(WONDROUS MUSIC)

There�s my nest. Pwease put me back in. Oh, pwease.

Here you are. Home, sweet home.

(RUMBLING)

(GURGLES)

(LAUGHS) Fool!

You have unleashed the Red Bush Wizard!

Oi! Blue Bush Wizard!

Oh, for ---- sake!

Who took the ---- possum out of the cage and put it in the nest?

I�m gonna ---- get ya!

Yeah, yeah. Whatever, you ---- head!

Nah, you shouldn�t have locked me away, man. That was ---- up.

Dude, I locked you away �cause you

were using dark ancient magic, man.

You�re not supposed to be ---- around with that.

-Gonna ---- get ya! -Oh, yeah?

You and what army, ----wit?

This one.

Bindi People, rise!

-(ALL SNARL) Bindi! -Oh, ---- Bindi People.

OK, forget the dancing. Stop dancing. So here�s the deal.

I left my magic book in the same bag I left my vinyls in.

You need to pretend you�re brainwashed by my magic, right?

You need to be my army. Be my army!

Fight those Bindi People or you�re all getting sniped.

Sorry, I�m not usually this mean and bossy.

I�m just mad �cause I left all my ---- shit at home.

(BINDI PEOPLE SNARL) Bindi People! Bindi People!

We are the Bindi People!

Bindi People! Bindi People!

-We are the Bindi People! -Arrrgghh!

-(GRUNTING AND YELLING) -Looks like this is war.

Oi, thanks for releasing me and everything,

but now you�ve gotta be my minion.

Go kill that blonde chick that tried to smash me with a rock.

Kill... Rachel.

(GRUNTING)

(SCREAMING)

Arggh...! Oh!

Oi, your Bindi People are way too OP!

That�s dark magic shit!

Nah, you�re just shit.

Get ----, dickhead. I�m so sick of you, hey.

You�re the dickhead, man.

Nobody turns me into a possum.

Nobody! That�s ---- up!

Oh, calm down, idiot. Stop yelling.

Hella weird vibes up in this doof right now.

Looks like a for-real war is happening

between the Blue Bush Wizard and the Red Bush Wizard.

Sucks.

Looks like this wizard war

could wipe out civilization as we know it.

-Let�s play some Tame Impala. -Tame Impala!

(BINDI PERSON SNARLS) Bindi People!

Yeah!

(SNARLS)

Sarah! I knew you�d come to help me.

-Kill... Rachel. -What?

(GROWLS LOWLY)

Huh!

(CHOKES)

Looks like Sarah has been

straight-up brainwashed by the Red Bush Wizard

and she�s dead-ass trying to kill Rachel right now.

Oh, my God, she�s totally frothing.

We�re all frothing, mate.

(WONDROUS MUSIC)

(HORN TOOTS)

Boys! Get in the car.

It�s time for dinner.

Oh, Mum! Five more minutes!

-This is the best bit! -MUM: Just pause it.

You can�t pause it, Mum!

-It�s happening live. -We can�t pause!

I�ve got a supreme pizza

in the car and it�s getting cold.

That�s enough playing. Just get in!

-Oh, sick! Supreme? -Yep.

-Oh, sick! -OK, coming, coming!

---- yeah, supreme!

So it looks like both the Bush Wizards

just got picked up by their mum in the car in the sky.

Hit us up on the text line

if you�ve had something similar happen

to youuuuuu...

(CHOKING)

Huh! Sarah, what the ---- is wrong with you?!

I�m sorry! I was being hypnotized!

Uh, hey there, girls. I fixed your car for you.

I know you didn�t ask me to.

But I did it anyway. I�m sorry.

Peleeken, you did that just for us?

I don�t know.

When you were fighting and stuff,

I just wanted to...

I guess... I don�t know.

I just really like youse.

(STARTS ENGINE) Oh!

(PELEEKEN WEEPS QUIETLY)

(TOUCHING MUSIC)

Hey, Peleeken.

-Do you wanna get in? -Really?

-Yes, sure. -Yeah, come on.

Yay!

(SINGS) ? I like being in the car with my friends

? Rachel and Sarah

? �Cause they�re my friends, friends forever

? I love my friends, Rachel and Sarah

? We�ve had so many adventures together

? Yeah, yeah, yeah

? I love you, Rachel and Sarah

? You�re my best friends in the entire world! ?