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1
00:02:50,295 --> 00:02:52,046
Cab fare, Richard?
2
00:02:53,590 --> 00:02:56,134
No, I've got to pay some bills.
3
00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:59,095
Well, at least leave me
enough for breakfast.
4
00:02:59,304 --> 00:03:00,513
Why, toddy,
5
00:03:00,722 --> 00:03:01,848
one would suspect you
think I'm mercenary.
6
00:03:02,057 --> 00:03:03,599
Try unscrupulous.
7
00:03:03,809 --> 00:03:06,018
You get your money's worth.
8
00:03:06,228 --> 00:03:08,688
I'd say we both get
my money's worth.
9
00:03:08,897 --> 00:03:12,525
Look, toddy, if you're not happy
with the arrangement...
10
00:03:12,734 --> 00:03:15,111
as a matter of record, I'm not,
11
00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:17,530
but to quote the immortal bard,
12
00:03:17,739 --> 00:03:19,490
"love looks not with the eyes
13
00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:21,492
"but with the mind.
14
00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:23,828
Therefore is winged
cupid painted blind."
15
00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:29,709
Have a nice day, toddy.
16
00:03:29,918 --> 00:03:31,627
I'll do my damnedest.
17
00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:06,871
♪ All the year where
cherries grow ♪
18
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:11,417
♪ All the year where ♪
19
00:04:11,627 --> 00:04:15,838
♪ Cherries grow ♪
20
00:04:16,048 --> 00:04:21,344
♪ Cherry ripe, cherry ripe,
ripe, I cry ♪
21
00:04:21,553 --> 00:04:29,310
♪ Full and fair ones
come and buy ♪
22
00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:31,938
♪ Cherry ripe ♪
23
00:04:32,147 --> 00:04:37,777
♪ Ripe, I cry ♪
24
00:04:37,986 --> 00:04:42,281
♪ Full and fair ones ♪
25
00:04:42,491 --> 00:04:47,912
♪ Come ♪
26
00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:51,916
♪ And ♪
27
00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:56,420
♪ Buy ♪
28
00:05:00,425 --> 00:05:02,218
As you can tell,
monsieur Labisse,
29
00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:03,803
I have a legitimate voice.
30
00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:05,263
Yes. Well,
you see, I'm looking
31
00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:07,265
for something a little
more illegitimate.
32
00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:09,642
Oh, I'm sure that
with a little practice...
33
00:05:09,851 --> 00:05:11,644
lady, that is like a nun
34
00:05:11,853 --> 00:05:13,646
saying with a little practice,
35
00:05:13,855 --> 00:05:15,731
she could become a streetwalker.
36
00:05:15,941 --> 00:05:17,817
It has to come naturally.
37
00:05:18,026 --> 00:05:19,485
Right.
38
00:05:19,695 --> 00:05:20,820
In some professions,
39
00:05:21,029 --> 00:05:22,822
practice is a minor
consideration,
40
00:05:23,031 --> 00:05:24,824
so take my advice
41
00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:27,076
and stick to Carmen.
42
00:05:27,286 --> 00:05:28,995
I am a coloratura,
monsieur Labisse,
43
00:05:29,204 --> 00:05:30,663
not a mezzo.
44
00:05:30,872 --> 00:05:32,290
Well, whatever you are,
45
00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:35,084
Andre Cassell should never
have sent you over here.
46
00:05:35,294 --> 00:05:36,294
He didn't.
47
00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:37,837
You told me he was your agent.
48
00:05:38,046 --> 00:05:39,046
I lied.
49
00:05:39,214 --> 00:05:40,631
Thank you.
50
00:05:43,093 --> 00:05:44,760
And in spite of what you think,
51
00:05:44,970 --> 00:05:46,012
monsieur Labisse,
52
00:05:46,221 --> 00:05:47,471
there are some professions
53
00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:48,961
where practice
does make perfect.
54
00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:52,977
♪ Aaahhhh ♪
55
00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:00,943
What in hell was that?
56
00:06:01,153 --> 00:06:02,236
B-flat.
57
00:08:02,107 --> 00:08:03,149
Monsieur Directeur,
58
00:08:03,358 --> 00:08:03,983
she's back.
59
00:08:04,192 --> 00:08:05,192
What?!
60
00:08:14,453 --> 00:08:15,536
Hey!
61
00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:25,129
Miss Grant.
62
00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:27,840
You, uh...
63
00:08:28,049 --> 00:08:30,092
you owe me two weeks.
64
00:08:30,302 --> 00:08:31,677
H-h-hold... hold it.
65
00:08:31,887 --> 00:08:32,970
What?
66
00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:35,306
You promise to
pay me on Tuesday,
67
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:37,308
then on Wednesday,
then on Thursday.
68
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:38,851
What's that?
69
00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:40,060
What?
70
00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:47,359
Spaghetti?
71
00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:48,861
Yes.
72
00:08:49,070 --> 00:08:50,946
With meatballs.
73
00:08:51,156 --> 00:08:53,866
I'll sleep with you
for a meatball.
74
00:08:54,075 --> 00:08:55,075
You what?
75
00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:56,202
Mr. Jansen.
76
00:08:56,328 --> 00:08:57,328
Oh, no, you don't.
77
00:08:57,412 --> 00:08:59,955
It won't do you any good.
78
00:09:00,165 --> 00:09:02,541
I've been in the hotel business
for 20 years.
79
00:09:02,751 --> 00:09:04,543
I know All the angles.
80
00:09:04,753 --> 00:09:06,170
Come on.
Get up. Get up.
81
00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:08,714
I don't care if you've
got the bubonic plague.
82
00:09:08,924 --> 00:09:10,716
If you can't pay your rent,
83
00:09:10,926 --> 00:09:12,718
I confiscate your
personal belongings,
84
00:09:12,928 --> 00:09:14,136
and I evict you.
85
00:09:14,346 --> 00:09:15,721
What happened?
86
00:09:15,931 --> 00:09:17,306
You made a certain offer to me
87
00:09:17,516 --> 00:09:18,724
which I could not refuse,
88
00:09:18,934 --> 00:09:20,476
and then you pretended to faint.
89
00:09:20,685 --> 00:09:22,728
Don't be ridiculous.
I never pretend to faint.
90
00:09:22,938 --> 00:09:24,146
Yes, sure.
91
00:09:24,356 --> 00:09:25,564
What are you doing?
92
00:09:25,774 --> 00:09:27,399
I am, uh, helping
you to stand up.
93
00:09:27,609 --> 00:09:29,360
That's funny, I thought
I was standing.
94
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:31,362
Maybe you'd like to lie down.
95
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:32,988
You're confusing me.
96
00:09:33,198 --> 00:09:34,323
I'm sure we can do something
97
00:09:34,533 --> 00:09:35,533
about the rent.
98
00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:37,159
Whatever you may think,
99
00:09:37,369 --> 00:09:38,160
I'm not an ungenerous man.
100
00:09:38,370 --> 00:09:39,161
Aah!
101
00:09:39,371 --> 00:09:40,162
Aah!
102
00:09:40,372 --> 00:09:41,539
What is it?
103
00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:42,540
There!
104
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:43,749
Where?
105
00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:45,167
There!
A cockroach!
106
00:09:45,377 --> 00:09:46,585
Oh! Oh!
107
00:09:46,795 --> 00:09:48,212
Why, you...
108
00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:51,382
I'm sorry. Aah!
I can't stand cockroaches.
109
00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:54,176
Especially in a hotel room, eh?
110
00:09:54,386 --> 00:09:55,678
Anywhere!
111
00:09:55,887 --> 00:09:58,180
Yeah! You won't tell
the department of health
112
00:09:58,390 --> 00:10:00,224
if I forget your rent, uh?
113
00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:03,227
I tell you once more,
I'm getting my money.
114
00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:04,716
And, uh, just in case
you thought
115
00:10:04,813 --> 00:10:06,605
of leaving us
during the night...
116
00:10:06,815 --> 00:10:08,190
oh, please don't leave me.
117
00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:09,191
Please!
118
00:10:09,401 --> 00:10:10,526
Oh!
119
00:10:15,407 --> 00:10:16,782
Oh!
120
00:10:16,992 --> 00:10:18,951
I know what it is.
121
00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:21,161
I'm dreaming.
122
00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:33,048
♪ When people speak
of gay Paree ♪
123
00:10:33,258 --> 00:10:36,218
♪ They think that when
they say Paree is gay ♪
124
00:10:36,428 --> 00:10:40,806
♪ They mean that
gay Paree is gay ♪
125
00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:42,641
It is.
126
00:10:42,851 --> 00:10:48,439
♪ Not in the way Paree was gay
in yesterday Paree ♪
127
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:52,484
♪ It means today
that gay Paree is gay ♪
128
00:10:54,821 --> 00:10:57,197
Not that gay.
129
00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:02,703
♪ They say Paree
has always been ♪
130
00:11:02,912 --> 00:11:04,455
♪ That way ♪
131
00:11:11,921 --> 00:11:14,465
♪ Along the banks of the seine ♪
132
00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:16,800
♪ Just take a walk
now and then ♪
133
00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:19,428
♪ You'll meet
some interesting men ♪
134
00:11:19,638 --> 00:11:21,430
♪ Gay Paree ♪
135
00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:26,143
♪ Along the rue Madeleine
each evening round about 10 ♪
136
00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:30,439
♪ You'll see it time
and time again, gay Paree ♪
137
00:11:30,649 --> 00:11:32,858
♪ If you've a soiree to spare ♪
138
00:11:33,068 --> 00:11:35,361
♪ Go to the Folies Bergere ♪
139
00:11:35,570 --> 00:11:37,863
♪ You'll see such gaiety there ♪
140
00:11:38,073 --> 00:11:39,823
♪ C'est la vie ♪
141
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:42,034
♪ Around
the rue Des beaux-arts ♪
142
00:11:42,243 --> 00:11:44,828
♪ Where All the cabaret
shows are ♪
143
00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:49,333
♪ I mean, well, really
those are, You'll agree ♪
144
00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:52,378
♪ What they mean when they say ♪
145
00:11:52,587 --> 00:11:54,129
♪ Gay ♪
146
00:11:54,339 --> 00:11:55,923
♪ Paree ♪
147
00:12:01,846 --> 00:12:03,326
That's toddy warbling again.
148
00:12:03,515 --> 00:12:05,724
♪ The faubourg St. Honore ♪
149
00:12:05,934 --> 00:12:07,851
♪ Where All
the millionaires play ♪
150
00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:09,395
Oh! There you are.
151
00:12:09,604 --> 00:12:12,856
♪ Is also, I'm so glad to say,
gay Paree ♪
152
00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:14,817
♪ The rue De rivoli arcades ♪
153
00:12:15,026 --> 00:12:17,486
♪ Where fancy goods
are displayed ♪
154
00:12:17,696 --> 00:12:21,907
♪ There's also bound to be
rough trade, gay Paree ♪
155
00:12:22,117 --> 00:12:24,076
♪ And in arrondissement 8 ♪
156
00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:26,578
♪ The champs Elysees
I would rate ♪
157
00:12:26,788 --> 00:12:29,915
♪ Perhaps the one thing
that's straight as can be ♪
158
00:12:30,125 --> 00:12:31,375
Hey, waiter!
159
00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:33,377
♪ And at the cafe De la Paix ♪
160
00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:35,587
♪ If you are heading that way ♪
161
00:12:35,797 --> 00:12:40,008
♪ They drink a toast
every day around 3 ♪
162
00:12:40,218 --> 00:12:44,847
♪ They make each moment as gay
as Le quatorze De Juillet ♪
163
00:12:45,056 --> 00:12:46,056
♪ That's what they mean ♪
164
00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:47,433
Oh, boy!
165
00:12:47,642 --> 00:12:48,851
♪ When they say ♪
166
00:12:49,060 --> 00:12:53,021
♪ Gay Paree ♪
167
00:12:57,777 --> 00:12:59,570
Thank you.
168
00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:02,072
Thank you, thank you.
You're most kind.
169
00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:04,074
In fact, you're every kind.
170
00:13:06,327 --> 00:13:09,455
I see we have a celebrity
with us tonight.
171
00:13:09,664 --> 00:13:11,457
Miss Simone Kallisto,
172
00:13:11,666 --> 00:13:14,460
star of stage, screen,
and an occasional circus.
173
00:13:14,669 --> 00:13:15,794
Take a bow, darling.
174
00:13:16,004 --> 00:13:17,379
Up yours, Cheri.
175
00:13:17,589 --> 00:13:19,131
And speaking of the circus,
176
00:13:19,340 --> 00:13:22,801
aren't you Richard Denardo,
the well-known trapeze artist?
177
00:13:23,011 --> 00:13:25,637
Careful, toddy.
178
00:13:25,847 --> 00:13:27,890
You're not really
funny, you know,
179
00:13:28,099 --> 00:13:31,226
so why don't you just piss off?
180
00:13:31,436 --> 00:13:33,479
You! You ought to be
ashamed of yourself.
181
00:13:33,688 --> 00:13:35,314
Bringing your sweet, old mother
182
00:13:35,523 --> 00:13:37,065
into a place like this.
183
00:13:38,109 --> 00:13:39,318
Gyaaah!
184
00:13:39,527 --> 00:13:41,007
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
185
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:42,994
you have a delightful
surprise coming to you...
186
00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:46,241
no!
187
00:13:46,451 --> 00:13:47,659
No!
188
00:13:47,869 --> 00:13:48,869
Please.
189
00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:07,888
Monsieur.
190
00:14:16,439 --> 00:14:17,648
Thank you.
191
00:14:34,332 --> 00:14:36,834
But nobody was seriously hurt.
192
00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:39,002
That's why I'm only
closing you for a week.
193
00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:42,005
You know how much
I will lose in one week?
194
00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:45,133
A quarter of what
You'll lose in a month
195
00:14:45,343 --> 00:14:47,511
if there is any more trouble.
196
00:14:59,148 --> 00:15:00,524
You're fired!
197
00:15:02,151 --> 00:15:03,777
I can't afford it.
198
00:15:03,987 --> 00:15:05,195
You can't afford it?
199
00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:06,989
What about me?
What about All this?
200
00:15:07,198 --> 00:15:08,198
More ice.
201
00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:10,075
You take it out of my salary.
202
00:15:10,285 --> 00:15:12,494
Toddy, get out!
203
00:15:12,704 --> 00:15:14,329
All right.
204
00:15:14,539 --> 00:15:16,415
And don't come back!
205
00:15:16,624 --> 00:15:19,001
If you ever set foot
in this place again,
206
00:15:19,210 --> 00:15:20,836
I will have you thrown out!
207
00:15:21,045 --> 00:15:22,671
Don't make it sound
like such a threat.
208
00:15:22,881 --> 00:15:24,256
Being thrown out of this place
209
00:15:24,465 --> 00:15:26,383
is significantly better
than being thrown out
210
00:15:26,593 --> 00:15:27,593
of a leper colony.
211
00:15:27,802 --> 00:15:29,052
Out!
212
00:15:37,186 --> 00:15:38,896
Thank you.
213
00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:42,024
Something to drink?
214
00:15:42,233 --> 00:15:44,067
Ah, could I see your wine list?
215
00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:46,028
We have a white 1934,
216
00:15:46,237 --> 00:15:47,571
we have a red 1934.
217
00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:49,865
Last week we had some rose,
218
00:15:50,074 --> 00:15:52,034
but we're using it in the salad.
219
00:15:52,243 --> 00:15:53,744
Which do you recommend?
220
00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:55,621
The red is 6 centimes cheaper.
221
00:15:55,830 --> 00:15:57,164
I'll have the white.
222
00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:01,084
I bet you are a Rockefeller.
223
00:16:39,666 --> 00:16:41,083
Is something wrong?
224
00:16:41,292 --> 00:16:43,251
I thought maybe you had a dog.
225
00:16:43,461 --> 00:16:44,503
Dog?
226
00:16:44,712 --> 00:16:46,421
I've only been gone 5 minutes.
227
00:16:46,631 --> 00:16:48,799
I figured something
helped you eat it.
228
00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:50,467
It was delicious.
229
00:16:50,677 --> 00:16:51,927
Do you want a salad?
230
00:16:52,136 --> 00:16:52,844
Later.
231
00:16:53,054 --> 00:16:54,471
Later.
232
00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:55,931
The chicken was so good,
I thought I might try the pork.
233
00:16:56,140 --> 00:16:57,516
Does it take long?
234
00:16:57,725 --> 00:16:58,976
About, uh, half an hour.
235
00:16:59,185 --> 00:17:00,936
What about
the Boeuf Bourguignonne?
236
00:17:01,145 --> 00:17:02,521
That's ready.
237
00:17:02,730 --> 00:17:05,148
I'll have that, and I'll
have the salad afterwards.
238
00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:06,858
You realize, of course,
239
00:17:07,068 --> 00:17:08,527
you're entitled to two salads.
240
00:17:08,736 --> 00:17:10,862
Could you put them
both on one plate?
241
00:17:11,072 --> 00:17:12,197
That's possible.
242
00:17:12,407 --> 00:17:13,657
Terrific.
243
00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:18,161
Delicious wine.
244
00:17:19,622 --> 00:17:22,499
Maybe you'd like to
choose your 2 desserts.
245
00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:24,459
Apple flan and coupe Jacques
246
00:17:24,669 --> 00:17:26,253
might go well together.
247
00:17:30,008 --> 00:17:32,259
Just a small coffee.
248
00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:36,221
Good evening.
249
00:17:36,305 --> 00:17:37,723
I had the pleasure
250
00:17:37,932 --> 00:17:39,641
of hearing you sing
this afternoon.
251
00:17:39,851 --> 00:17:41,184
Oh, you must be mistaken.
252
00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:43,353
I... i haven't sung
in about two weeks.
253
00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:44,980
Your audition at Chez lui.
254
00:17:45,189 --> 00:17:46,690
Oh. That was not singing,
255
00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:49,234
and I would hardly
call it an audition.
256
00:17:49,444 --> 00:17:51,236
Ha ha ha. I used
to work there.
257
00:17:51,446 --> 00:17:52,863
My condolences.
258
00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:54,573
Well, I hope I
haven't bothered you.
259
00:17:54,741 --> 00:17:56,366
I just wanted to tell you
260
00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:58,493
that I think you
have a lovely voice,
261
00:17:58,703 --> 00:17:59,745
and to say how sorry I am
262
00:17:59,954 --> 00:18:01,371
that I can't buy you dinner.
263
00:18:01,581 --> 00:18:02,581
Thank you.
Oops.
264
00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:03,749
Pardon me, monsieur.
265
00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:05,083
Oh, thank you.
266
00:18:05,293 --> 00:18:06,773
Could I have a knife
and fork, please?
267
00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:08,587
Excuse me.
268
00:18:08,796 --> 00:18:11,048
Why are you sorry that
you can't buy me dinner?
269
00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:12,924
Casse.
270
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:14,426
Broke?
271
00:18:14,635 --> 00:18:16,094
I'm also Carroll Todd...
272
00:18:16,304 --> 00:18:19,097
toddy to nearly
everybody who knows me.
273
00:18:19,307 --> 00:18:20,891
Victoria...
274
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:22,601
Grant.
275
00:18:22,810 --> 00:18:24,770
I hope we meet again
when I'm flush.
276
00:18:24,979 --> 00:18:26,438
Won't you sit down?
277
00:18:26,647 --> 00:18:28,356
Please?
278
00:18:30,860 --> 00:18:32,652
Have dinner with me.
279
00:18:35,364 --> 00:18:36,406
Thank you.
280
00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:43,789
You know, it's very strange.
281
00:18:43,998 --> 00:18:45,415
At the club, I thought you were
282
00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:47,626
just about at the end
of your rope.
283
00:18:47,835 --> 00:18:49,544
I was. I am.
284
00:18:49,754 --> 00:18:52,964
This is the first
decent meal I've had
285
00:18:53,174 --> 00:18:54,591
in almost four days.
286
00:18:54,801 --> 00:18:55,801
And you can't pay for it.
287
00:18:56,010 --> 00:18:57,761
Casse.
288
00:18:57,970 --> 00:18:59,304
Ha! Ha! Ha!
289
00:18:59,514 --> 00:19:02,224
And you want me to
have dinner with you.
290
00:19:02,433 --> 00:19:03,642
I want you
291
00:19:03,851 --> 00:19:05,936
to have the best damn
dinner you ever had.
292
00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:07,270
Have two.
293
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:08,647
I started off with
the roast chicken,
294
00:19:08,856 --> 00:19:09,981
and I segued to
the Boeuf Bourguignonne.
295
00:19:10,191 --> 00:19:11,316
It's anybody's guess
296
00:19:11,526 --> 00:19:12,526
what I could end up with.
297
00:19:12,693 --> 00:19:14,653
Oh, I'd guess about 30 days.
298
00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:16,988
If All goes well,
299
00:19:17,198 --> 00:19:19,616
I expect to leave
here poor but sated.
300
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:22,536
I have a...
301
00:19:22,745 --> 00:19:24,162
Bug in my purse.
302
00:19:24,372 --> 00:19:25,747
At the appropriate moment,
303
00:19:25,957 --> 00:19:27,457
it goes in my salad.
304
00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:28,959
It'll never work.
305
00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:30,418
A bug in my salad?
306
00:19:30,628 --> 00:19:32,504
In a place like this,
it would be an event
307
00:19:32,713 --> 00:19:35,590
if there wasn't
a bug in your salad.
308
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:37,676
What about a...
Cockroach?
309
00:19:37,885 --> 00:19:38,885
A cockroach?
310
00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:40,512
Shh!
311
00:19:40,721 --> 00:19:41,972
Bigger than your thumb.
312
00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:43,515
Oh, god!
313
00:19:43,724 --> 00:19:44,724
Waiter.
314
00:19:44,809 --> 00:19:45,976
Try the chicken.
315
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:48,186
I really recommend it.
316
00:19:48,396 --> 00:19:51,606
Um, the Bourguignonne
was just a little tough.
317
00:19:51,816 --> 00:19:53,608
Maybe the way you're eating,
318
00:19:53,818 --> 00:19:54,938
your jaws are getting tired.
319
00:19:55,069 --> 00:19:56,361
Speaking of overworked jaws,
320
00:19:56,571 --> 00:19:58,989
why don't you treat yours
to a sabbatical
321
00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:01,366
and fetch me a wine list?
322
00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:02,951
This is All they have.
323
00:20:03,161 --> 00:20:05,370
This? Last time I saw
a specimen like this,
324
00:20:05,580 --> 00:20:07,455
they had to shoot the horse.
325
00:20:07,665 --> 00:20:09,624
How lucky can you get?
326
00:20:09,834 --> 00:20:12,002
In one evening, a Rockefeller
327
00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:13,712
and a Groucho Marx.
328
00:20:13,921 --> 00:20:16,047
They didn't shoot a real horse.
329
00:20:16,257 --> 00:20:18,383
Just a costume
with two waiters in it.
330
00:20:18,593 --> 00:20:21,052
I shall think of a sharp retort
331
00:20:21,262 --> 00:20:23,054
while I'm getting
your roast chicken.
332
00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:25,891
It's a wise man who knows
when to throw in the towel.
333
00:20:26,100 --> 00:20:28,476
And it is a moron
who gives advice
334
00:20:28,686 --> 00:20:30,145
to a horse's ass.
335
00:20:33,024 --> 00:20:35,775
Ha ha ha ha!
336
00:20:42,825 --> 00:20:43,950
I made the dressing myself
337
00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:46,411
with the last of the rose.
338
00:20:46,621 --> 00:20:48,038
I'll bet it's delicious.
339
00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:49,414
I wouldn't bet on it.
340
00:20:49,624 --> 00:20:51,082
Go on, try it.
341
00:20:51,292 --> 00:20:52,852
I think I'll wait till
the Bourguignonne
342
00:20:53,044 --> 00:20:54,044
settle a bit.
343
00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:55,921
You don't have to eat it.
344
00:20:56,130 --> 00:20:57,130
Oh, I want to.
345
00:20:57,298 --> 00:20:59,382
You will be the first to know.
346
00:21:03,221 --> 00:21:04,679
You'd better go now.
347
00:21:04,889 --> 00:21:05,931
I want to lend my support.
348
00:21:06,140 --> 00:21:07,599
Oh, that's lovely.
349
00:21:07,808 --> 00:21:09,935
But it's my cockroach
in my purse,
350
00:21:10,144 --> 00:21:12,020
and I have to get it
into my salad.
351
00:21:12,230 --> 00:21:14,689
I'm perfectly willing
to take over your salad.
352
00:21:14,899 --> 00:21:17,275
You can just slip me
the purse under the table.
353
00:21:17,485 --> 00:21:18,276
Listen, you hate cockroaches
354
00:21:18,486 --> 00:21:19,486
as much as I do,
355
00:21:19,654 --> 00:21:21,029
what if I manage and you faint?
356
00:21:21,239 --> 00:21:23,240
Then it's possible
I shall wake up in prison.
357
00:21:23,449 --> 00:21:25,617
Then I can't talk you out of it?
358
00:21:25,826 --> 00:21:27,410
You don't have time.
359
00:21:29,580 --> 00:21:31,122
Careful it doesn't crawl out.
360
00:21:31,332 --> 00:21:32,999
Anybody looking?
361
00:21:34,418 --> 00:21:35,585
Nope.
362
00:21:43,052 --> 00:21:44,135
I don't see it.
363
00:21:44,345 --> 00:21:45,136
How's the salad?
364
00:21:45,346 --> 00:21:46,137
Aah!
365
00:21:46,347 --> 00:21:47,472
Have you tried it yet?
366
00:21:47,682 --> 00:21:48,932
No.
367
00:21:49,141 --> 00:21:50,934
No. I was, um,
just about to.
368
00:21:51,143 --> 00:21:53,812
We would like another
bottle of wine.
369
00:21:54,021 --> 00:21:55,397
We'd like to try the red.
370
00:21:55,606 --> 00:21:56,940
Aah!
371
00:22:00,069 --> 00:22:02,320
Co-co-cockroach.
372
00:22:02,530 --> 00:22:03,571
A cockroach?
373
00:22:03,781 --> 00:22:05,115
In my sa-sa-salad.
374
00:22:05,324 --> 00:22:06,658
I can't believe it.
375
00:22:06,867 --> 00:22:08,118
I don't believe it.
376
00:22:08,327 --> 00:22:09,887
Are you impugning
this lady's integrity?
377
00:22:09,996 --> 00:22:11,121
She's impugning my salad.
378
00:22:11,330 --> 00:22:12,330
Oh, no, no, no.
379
00:22:12,540 --> 00:22:13,820
I-I-I'm sure
it wasn't your fault
380
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:15,917
your salad had
a cockroach in it.
381
00:22:16,127 --> 00:22:17,335
It didn't, and it wasn't.
382
00:22:17,545 --> 00:22:19,004
I demand to see the manager.
383
00:22:19,213 --> 00:22:20,505
Yes, sir.
384
00:22:20,715 --> 00:22:21,339
This lady found
a cockroach in her salad.
385
00:22:21,549 --> 00:22:23,008
So I gather.
386
00:22:23,217 --> 00:22:24,801
Well, what are you
going to do about it?
387
00:22:25,011 --> 00:22:26,761
I'm going to apologize.
388
00:22:26,971 --> 00:22:28,680
Madame, I regret that you found
389
00:22:28,889 --> 00:22:30,515
a cockroach in your salad.
390
00:22:30,725 --> 00:22:32,976
I can assure you
that in the five years
391
00:22:33,185 --> 00:22:34,519
I've been running
this restaurant,
392
00:22:34,729 --> 00:22:36,521
there have only been
two other occasions
393
00:22:36,731 --> 00:22:37,939
when customers complained
394
00:22:38,149 --> 00:22:40,525
of having found insects
in their food.
395
00:22:40,735 --> 00:22:42,027
You see?
It's happened before.
396
00:22:42,236 --> 00:22:43,445
On both occasions,
397
00:22:43,654 --> 00:22:45,155
it turned out that the customers
398
00:22:45,364 --> 00:22:48,325
had actually put the
insects in their food,
399
00:22:48,534 --> 00:22:50,160
hoping to blackmail
the restaurant
400
00:22:50,369 --> 00:22:53,163
and thus avoid having
to pay their checks.
401
00:22:53,372 --> 00:22:54,622
Uh-huh.
402
00:22:54,832 --> 00:22:56,708
Surely you're not suggesting...
403
00:22:56,917 --> 00:22:57,917
that madame is trying
404
00:22:58,044 --> 00:22:58,710
to avoid paying her check?
405
00:22:58,919 --> 00:23:00,045
Well, of course not,
406
00:23:00,254 --> 00:23:02,297
and as a manager
of this restaurant,
407
00:23:02,506 --> 00:23:04,132
I hope madame accepts my apology
408
00:23:04,342 --> 00:23:05,383
for any inconvenience
409
00:23:05,593 --> 00:23:07,385
she may have been caused.
410
00:23:07,595 --> 00:23:09,387
Thank you.
Ma... madame does.
411
00:23:09,597 --> 00:23:12,223
Now, that is what I
have done about it.
412
00:23:12,433 --> 00:23:15,393
What are you going
to do about it?
413
00:23:15,603 --> 00:23:16,603
I?
414
00:23:16,729 --> 00:23:17,479
There is still the matter
415
00:23:17,688 --> 00:23:18,688
of your check.
416
00:23:18,773 --> 00:23:19,814
My check?
417
00:23:20,024 --> 00:23:21,066
There was no cockroach
418
00:23:21,275 --> 00:23:22,650
in your salad.
419
00:23:22,860 --> 00:23:23,651
No, no.
I invited this man
420
00:23:23,861 --> 00:23:24,569
to have dinner with me.
421
00:23:24,779 --> 00:23:25,779
Oh, I see.
422
00:23:25,946 --> 00:23:27,238
Am I to gather, madame,
423
00:23:27,448 --> 00:23:30,033
that since this
gentleman is your guest,
424
00:23:30,242 --> 00:23:31,993
you don't feel
that you should pay
425
00:23:32,203 --> 00:23:33,578
for his dinner, either?
426
00:23:33,788 --> 00:23:35,348
I would say that
under the circumstances
427
00:23:35,414 --> 00:23:37,174
that's the only
logical conclusion available.
428
00:23:37,208 --> 00:23:40,585
I will tell you what
I consider to be
429
00:23:40,795 --> 00:23:43,213
the only logical
conclusion available.
430
00:23:43,422 --> 00:23:46,091
Either you or madame
will pay the entire...
431
00:23:46,300 --> 00:23:47,425
aah!
432
00:24:06,946 --> 00:24:07,946
This way!
433
00:24:08,114 --> 00:24:09,406
What?!
434
00:24:09,615 --> 00:24:11,282
What?!
435
00:24:11,492 --> 00:24:14,077
I was the leading soprano
436
00:24:14,286 --> 00:24:16,037
of the bath touring
light opera company.
437
00:24:16,247 --> 00:24:18,039
Very athletic for a soprano.
438
00:24:18,249 --> 00:24:20,041
That's because I
have three brothers.
439
00:24:20,251 --> 00:24:21,292
Hmm, I know what you mean.
440
00:24:21,502 --> 00:24:22,782
I grew up with
two older sisters.
441
00:24:24,338 --> 00:24:25,463
Bless you.
442
00:24:25,673 --> 00:24:26,673
Thank you.
443
00:24:26,841 --> 00:24:28,758
I think I'm catching a cold.
444
00:24:31,804 --> 00:24:33,638
Do you have any bicarbonate?
445
00:24:33,848 --> 00:24:35,640
Top shelf.
446
00:24:35,850 --> 00:24:38,059
I have the worst heartburn.
447
00:24:39,854 --> 00:24:42,063
Can I ask you a question?
448
00:24:42,273 --> 00:24:45,066
You want to know
if I'm a homosexual?
449
00:24:45,276 --> 00:24:46,484
No.
450
00:24:46,694 --> 00:24:48,820
I want to know if
you're a hypochondriac.
451
00:24:49,029 --> 00:24:50,071
Ha ha ha!
452
00:24:50,281 --> 00:24:51,656
Not necessarily.
453
00:24:51,824 --> 00:24:53,199
Oh.
454
00:24:57,830 --> 00:24:59,706
Oh. Well,
my husband was.
455
00:24:59,915 --> 00:25:03,084
The day we got married,
he got the shingles,
456
00:25:03,294 --> 00:25:04,669
and when we got divorced,
457
00:25:04,879 --> 00:25:06,087
his ulcer perforated.
458
00:25:07,798 --> 00:25:10,300
How long have you been
a homosexual?
459
00:25:10,509 --> 00:25:13,011
How long have you
been a soprano?
460
00:25:13,220 --> 00:25:14,471
Since I was 12.
461
00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:16,556
I was a late bloomer.
462
00:25:19,518 --> 00:25:20,852
What happened
463
00:25:21,061 --> 00:25:23,563
to the bath touring
light opera company?
464
00:25:25,608 --> 00:25:27,442
I guess you could say
465
00:25:27,651 --> 00:25:30,820
Lou cassava took French
leave with the bankroll.
466
00:25:31,030 --> 00:25:32,197
Lou cassava?
467
00:25:32,406 --> 00:25:35,200
Our stage manager.
Sam put him up to it.
468
00:25:35,409 --> 00:25:36,409
Sam?
469
00:25:36,577 --> 00:25:37,827
My ex-husband.
470
00:25:40,039 --> 00:25:41,873
Oh, god.
471
00:25:42,082 --> 00:25:43,875
You know,
472
00:25:44,084 --> 00:25:47,045
you should stay in bed
and force liquids.
473
00:25:47,254 --> 00:25:49,047
That's good advice for a camel.
474
00:25:49,256 --> 00:25:51,841
You have anybody
to take care of you?
475
00:25:52,051 --> 00:25:53,218
Oh, it's only a cold.
476
00:25:53,427 --> 00:25:54,844
A cold tonight
477
00:25:55,054 --> 00:25:56,888
could be pneumonia
by the morning.
478
00:25:57,097 --> 00:25:58,890
Are you sure your husband
was a hypochondriac
479
00:25:59,099 --> 00:26:00,683
before he married you?
480
00:26:00,893 --> 00:26:02,373
I know you think
that I'm an alarmist.
481
00:26:02,436 --> 00:26:04,229
Only because you sound like one.
482
00:26:04,438 --> 00:26:05,897
I've had enough
personal experience
483
00:26:06,106 --> 00:26:09,067
to know that when it
comes to your health,
484
00:26:09,276 --> 00:26:11,486
it does not pay to take chances.
485
00:26:11,695 --> 00:26:13,196
Then you can stop worrying.
486
00:26:13,405 --> 00:26:16,491
With the exception of
saxophone lessons and the Metro,
487
00:26:16,700 --> 00:26:18,618
I never pay to take anything.
488
00:26:21,038 --> 00:26:23,248
You know what I'm going to do?
489
00:26:23,457 --> 00:26:24,874
What?
490
00:26:25,084 --> 00:26:26,604
I'm going to see if
my clothes are dry,
491
00:26:26,752 --> 00:26:30,088
and then I'm going to try
to sneak back into my hotel.
492
00:26:30,256 --> 00:26:32,507
What if I wake up
with pneumonia?
493
00:26:32,716 --> 00:26:34,676
Well, I'll just have to come
round early in the morning
494
00:26:34,885 --> 00:26:36,427
and check on you.
495
00:26:36,637 --> 00:26:39,430
I could have a relapse
in the middle of the night.
496
00:26:39,640 --> 00:26:40,890
No, you couldn't.
497
00:26:41,100 --> 00:26:42,267
Why couldn't I?
498
00:26:42,476 --> 00:26:43,768
Because the middle of the night
499
00:26:43,978 --> 00:26:45,228
was about two hours ago.
500
00:26:46,897 --> 00:26:48,731
♪ Hiyum ♪
501
00:26:48,941 --> 00:26:51,734
♪ Da dum ♪
502
00:26:51,944 --> 00:26:53,695
♪ la da Dee Dee Dee ♪
503
00:26:53,904 --> 00:26:56,447
♪ Dee Dee Dee Dee ♪
504
00:26:56,657 --> 00:26:57,907
Oh, my god!
505
00:26:58,117 --> 00:26:59,200
What?
506
00:26:59,410 --> 00:27:00,451
Oh!
507
00:27:00,661 --> 00:27:01,744
What? What? What?
508
00:27:01,954 --> 00:27:03,037
Aww...
509
00:27:03,247 --> 00:27:06,124
It was guaranteed not to shrink!
510
00:27:06,333 --> 00:27:09,586
My best dress. Look!
511
00:27:09,795 --> 00:27:10,878
Let's see.
512
00:27:12,464 --> 00:27:14,549
Oh, there's nothing to let down.
513
00:27:14,758 --> 00:27:16,551
I can't go out like this!
514
00:27:16,760 --> 00:27:18,678
Well, what about the coat?
515
00:27:22,099 --> 00:27:23,683
Oh!
516
00:27:26,729 --> 00:27:28,938
What am I going to do?
517
00:27:29,148 --> 00:27:31,441
Sell matches.
518
00:27:34,653 --> 00:27:38,031
Aw, poor baby.
519
00:27:43,162 --> 00:27:45,580
I'm sorry.
520
00:27:45,789 --> 00:27:47,582
This hasn't been my day.
521
00:27:47,791 --> 00:27:49,584
God, there have been times
522
00:27:49,793 --> 00:27:51,961
I'd have given my soul
523
00:27:52,171 --> 00:27:54,505
to be able to cry like that.
524
00:27:54,715 --> 00:27:56,090
Oh, I hate it.
525
00:27:56,300 --> 00:27:58,968
You wouldn't if you
couldn't do it anymore.
526
00:27:59,178 --> 00:28:00,511
Well.
527
00:28:00,721 --> 00:28:02,597
Now...
528
00:28:02,806 --> 00:28:05,975
Tomorrow, I'll go over
and pick up your clothes.
529
00:28:06,185 --> 00:28:07,602
Oh, they won't let you.
530
00:28:07,811 --> 00:28:09,979
They will if I pay your bill.
531
00:28:10,189 --> 00:28:11,189
You can't do that.
532
00:28:11,398 --> 00:28:13,608
Why not? This
is that rainy day
533
00:28:13,817 --> 00:28:15,985
I've saved up a few francs for.
534
00:28:16,195 --> 00:28:16,986
Here.
535
00:28:17,196 --> 00:28:18,988
You know what they say.
536
00:28:19,198 --> 00:28:20,365
What?
537
00:28:20,574 --> 00:28:23,034
"Neither a borrower
nor a lender be."
538
00:28:23,243 --> 00:28:26,537
"For a loan oft loses
both itself and friend."
539
00:28:26,747 --> 00:28:27,830
Exactly.
540
00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:29,457
You were willing to compromise
541
00:28:29,667 --> 00:28:31,626
your virtue for a meatball.
542
00:28:31,835 --> 00:28:34,629
Well, I was out of my mind
at the time,
543
00:28:34,838 --> 00:28:36,839
and at least it was
something for something.
544
00:28:37,049 --> 00:28:38,383
All right.
545
00:28:38,592 --> 00:28:40,635
We'll make this strictly
a business proposition.
546
00:28:40,844 --> 00:28:42,637
I'll charge you
a weekly interest
547
00:28:42,846 --> 00:28:45,181
equivalent to the going
rate of one meatball.
548
00:28:46,600 --> 00:28:47,684
Oh, damn.
549
00:28:47,893 --> 00:28:49,394
Toddy...
550
00:28:49,603 --> 00:28:51,145
You're sweet and generous.
551
00:28:51,355 --> 00:28:52,730
Exhausted.
552
00:28:52,940 --> 00:28:54,732
How would I ever pay you back?
553
00:28:54,942 --> 00:28:56,401
Well, we'll solve that tomorrow.
554
00:28:56,610 --> 00:28:58,861
In the meantime,
I'm giving the orders.
555
00:28:59,071 --> 00:29:01,989
You are going to get into
those pajamas and come to bed.
556
00:29:02,199 --> 00:29:03,574
There?
557
00:29:03,784 --> 00:29:05,243
You're welcome to the sofa,
558
00:29:05,411 --> 00:29:07,662
but you have my word of honor
559
00:29:07,871 --> 00:29:09,831
this is much more comfortable
560
00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:11,290
and infinitely safer.
561
00:29:17,131 --> 00:29:18,840
Oh, god.
562
00:29:19,049 --> 00:29:21,426
There's nothing
more inconvenient
563
00:29:21,635 --> 00:29:24,846
than an old queen
with a head cold.
564
00:29:34,064 --> 00:29:36,023
I won't be long.
565
00:29:42,281 --> 00:29:44,907
I resent being treated
like a helpless invalid!
566
00:29:45,117 --> 00:29:47,535
Oh, will you
keep your mouth shut?
567
00:29:47,745 --> 00:29:50,121
Now, I'll cash the check,
pay my hotel bill,
568
00:29:50,330 --> 00:29:52,749
and be back in time
to fix lunch.
569
00:29:52,958 --> 00:29:55,543
I can bloody well
fix my own lunch.
570
00:29:55,753 --> 00:29:57,545
Not with a fever, you can't.
571
00:29:57,755 --> 00:30:00,548
What makes you so sure
I've got a fever?
572
00:30:00,758 --> 00:30:02,550
Because you're burning up,
that's why.
573
00:30:02,760 --> 00:30:03,926
I'm naturally
warm-blooded.
574
00:30:04,136 --> 00:30:06,137
To be that naturally
warm-blooded,
575
00:30:06,346 --> 00:30:08,556
you'd have to be
a Saint Bernard.
576
00:30:08,766 --> 00:30:11,559
You look better in Richard's
clothes than he does.
577
00:30:11,769 --> 00:30:13,311
Of course, he looks
better out of them.
578
00:30:13,520 --> 00:30:14,771
Well?
579
00:30:14,980 --> 00:30:16,230
You're right,
you don't have a fever.
580
00:30:16,440 --> 00:30:17,774
In fact, you don't even
have a temperature!
581
00:30:17,983 --> 00:30:19,567
Now, leave it there.
582
00:30:19,777 --> 00:30:21,152
Does Richard have a hat?
583
00:30:21,361 --> 00:30:22,862
In the closet.
584
00:30:27,743 --> 00:30:28,951
Toddy?
585
00:30:29,161 --> 00:30:30,703
Richard!
586
00:30:34,833 --> 00:30:37,335
Good morning, Richard.
You look like a raccoon.
587
00:30:37,544 --> 00:30:39,128
I came by to pick up my things.
588
00:30:39,338 --> 00:30:40,922
I thought it was
to pay me the money
589
00:30:41,131 --> 00:30:42,507
you owed me.
590
00:30:42,716 --> 00:30:46,469
I don't owe you a thing,
you pathetic old queer.
591
00:30:49,306 --> 00:30:51,307
Unh! Ah!
592
00:30:51,517 --> 00:30:52,308
You bastard!
593
00:30:52,518 --> 00:30:54,519
Get up!
594
00:30:54,728 --> 00:30:57,772
You get back in bed!
595
00:30:57,981 --> 00:30:59,649
Now...
596
00:30:59,858 --> 00:31:00,983
Next time,
597
00:31:01,193 --> 00:31:04,612
pick on someone your own size.
598
00:31:04,822 --> 00:31:05,822
Ooh!
599
00:31:05,906 --> 00:31:07,782
And don't come back!
600
00:31:07,991 --> 00:31:09,242
Good.
601
00:31:25,217 --> 00:31:26,551
God, my nose.
602
00:31:26,760 --> 00:31:28,010
What happened?
603
00:31:28,220 --> 00:31:30,805
There was a man
wearing my clothes.
604
00:31:31,014 --> 00:31:32,890
I think he broke my nose!
605
00:31:33,100 --> 00:31:35,017
Toddy, you're delirious.
606
00:31:35,227 --> 00:31:36,018
Lower your voice.
607
00:31:36,228 --> 00:31:37,019
Toddy...
lower.
608
00:31:37,229 --> 00:31:38,020
Toddy.
609
00:31:38,230 --> 00:31:39,397
Caruso, not Chaliapin.
610
00:31:39,606 --> 00:31:41,046
If you don't get back
into that bed...
611
00:31:41,108 --> 00:31:41,816
good! When you're angry,
it drops naturally.
612
00:31:42,025 --> 00:31:42,817
Think angry.
613
00:31:43,026 --> 00:31:44,026
Oh, my...
614
00:31:44,194 --> 00:31:45,069
oh, god!
What an inspiration!
615
00:31:45,279 --> 00:31:46,319
I'm going to get a doctor.
616
00:31:46,405 --> 00:31:47,405
Victoria, it will work!
617
00:31:47,447 --> 00:31:48,739
Oh, toddy, it will not.
618
00:31:48,907 --> 00:31:50,408
If you listen to me
and do exactly as I say,
619
00:31:50,617 --> 00:31:52,410
in six weeks You'll be
the toast of Paris,
620
00:31:52,619 --> 00:31:53,870
and we will both be very rich.
621
00:31:54,079 --> 00:31:55,079
Oh...
Very, very,
622
00:31:55,205 --> 00:31:56,414
very rich.
But, oh, my god.
623
00:31:56,623 --> 00:31:57,832
Think! No more bath
light opera company.
624
00:31:58,041 --> 00:31:59,166
Well, of cour...
625
00:31:59,376 --> 00:32:00,418
no more mikado and seedy tenors.
626
00:32:00,586 --> 00:32:01,586
Yes, but...
627
00:32:01,795 --> 00:32:02,587
caviar instead of meatballs!
628
00:32:02,796 --> 00:32:03,838
Where are you going?
629
00:32:04,047 --> 00:32:05,047
To get some scissors!
630
00:32:05,215 --> 00:32:06,841
People believe what they see,
631
00:32:07,050 --> 00:32:08,259
and this afternoon,
632
00:32:08,468 --> 00:32:09,886
Andre Cassell is going to meet
633
00:32:10,095 --> 00:32:11,596
Europe's greatest
female impersonator.
634
00:32:11,805 --> 00:32:12,889
Andre Cassell
635
00:32:13,098 --> 00:32:14,599
is the biggest agent in Paris.
636
00:32:14,808 --> 00:32:15,850
If I'm the greatest,
637
00:32:16,059 --> 00:32:17,268
why hasn't he heard of me?
638
00:32:17,477 --> 00:32:19,037
You're the greatest,
but you're unknown,
639
00:32:19,062 --> 00:32:19,854
except in Poland.
640
00:32:20,063 --> 00:32:21,272
Poland?
641
00:32:21,481 --> 00:32:22,607
You're count Grazinsky,
Polish aristocrat,
642
00:32:22,816 --> 00:32:24,136
and you speak
very little English.
643
00:32:24,276 --> 00:32:25,443
Your family disowned you
644
00:32:25,652 --> 00:32:26,972
when they discovered
you were gay.
645
00:32:27,070 --> 00:32:28,446
Oh, now, wait a minute.
646
00:32:28,655 --> 00:32:29,895
We met in Warsaw, fell in love,
647
00:32:30,073 --> 00:32:31,449
and I brought you to Paris.
648
00:32:31,658 --> 00:32:32,450
Ah, hold it!
649
00:32:32,659 --> 00:32:33,701
What's wrong?
650
00:32:33,911 --> 00:32:34,951
What's wrong?
What's right?
651
00:32:35,120 --> 00:32:36,454
A woman pretending to be a man
652
00:32:36,663 --> 00:32:37,455
pretending to be a woman?
653
00:32:37,664 --> 00:32:38,664
Ridiculous.
654
00:32:38,790 --> 00:32:39,790
It's preposterous!
655
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:40,958
In fact, it's so preposterous,
656
00:32:41,168 --> 00:32:42,460
no one would ever believe it.
657
00:32:42,669 --> 00:32:43,878
And yet, you expect them
to believe count...
658
00:32:44,087 --> 00:32:44,879
What's his name?
659
00:32:45,088 --> 00:32:45,880
Grazinsky.
660
00:32:46,089 --> 00:32:47,882
Grazinsky, a gay Polish
661
00:32:48,091 --> 00:32:49,926
female impersonator?
662
00:32:50,135 --> 00:32:51,886
Darling, All anyone
has to believe
663
00:32:52,095 --> 00:32:53,471
is that you're a man.
664
00:32:53,680 --> 00:32:55,932
To convince an audience
that an illusion is real,
665
00:32:56,141 --> 00:32:58,476
the magician creates
a plausible diversion.
666
00:32:58,685 --> 00:33:01,103
Count Grazinsky is
our plausible diversion.
667
00:33:01,313 --> 00:33:02,813
Toddy, no audience
is that gullible.
668
00:33:03,023 --> 00:33:04,649
They'll know he's a phony.
669
00:33:04,858 --> 00:33:05,650
Right.
670
00:33:05,859 --> 00:33:07,068
Well?
671
00:33:07,277 --> 00:33:09,487
They'll know he's a phony.
672
00:33:09,696 --> 00:33:12,573
Toddy, I don't know
how to act like a man.
673
00:33:12,783 --> 00:33:13,658
Contrary to
the popular conception
674
00:33:13,867 --> 00:33:14,867
of how a man acts,
675
00:33:14,993 --> 00:33:16,160
there are All sorts of men
676
00:33:16,370 --> 00:33:18,162
who act in All sorts of ways.
677
00:33:18,372 --> 00:33:20,164
I mean, as opposed
to the way women act.
678
00:33:20,374 --> 00:33:21,457
I am personally acquainted
679
00:33:21,667 --> 00:33:22,667
with at least a dozen men
680
00:33:22,793 --> 00:33:24,335
who act exactly like women
681
00:33:24,544 --> 00:33:26,128
and vice versa.
682
00:33:26,338 --> 00:33:28,538
There are just some things
that are naturally masculine!
683
00:33:28,715 --> 00:33:29,757
Name one.
684
00:33:29,967 --> 00:33:30,758
Um... Um...
685
00:33:30,968 --> 00:33:32,426
Peeing standing up.
686
00:33:32,636 --> 00:33:34,178
Ha ha. on the other hand,
there's absolutely no rule
687
00:33:34,388 --> 00:33:36,180
that says a man can't sit down.
688
00:33:36,390 --> 00:33:37,515
Men have Adam's apples.
689
00:33:37,724 --> 00:33:38,849
So do some women.
690
00:33:39,017 --> 00:33:39,767
Name one.
691
00:33:39,977 --> 00:33:40,768
Nana Lanoux.
692
00:33:40,978 --> 00:33:41,769
What?
693
00:33:41,979 --> 00:33:42,979
Taxi!
694
00:33:43,021 --> 00:33:44,188
Nana Lanoux?
Who's she?
695
00:33:44,398 --> 00:33:45,523
The last woman I slept with.
696
00:33:45,732 --> 00:33:47,441
When was that?
697
00:33:47,651 --> 00:33:49,777
The night before the morning I
decided to become a homosexual.
698
00:33:49,987 --> 00:33:51,195
Very dashing.
699
00:33:51,405 --> 00:33:53,364
I can't wear this All the time.
700
00:33:53,573 --> 00:33:54,991
Why not? It might
set a fashion.
701
00:33:55,200 --> 00:33:57,535
Did miss Lanoux
have a big Adam's apple?
702
00:33:57,744 --> 00:34:00,037
Like a coconut!
703
00:34:14,970 --> 00:34:16,220
Good morning.
704
00:34:16,430 --> 00:34:18,556
Would you please tell
Mr. Cassell
705
00:34:18,765 --> 00:34:20,182
that Carroll Todd is here?
706
00:34:20,392 --> 00:34:21,559
Why?
707
00:34:21,768 --> 00:34:22,852
Why?
708
00:34:23,061 --> 00:34:24,812
If you don't have an appointment
709
00:34:25,022 --> 00:34:26,397
with Mr. Cassell,
710
00:34:26,606 --> 00:34:28,816
why should I tell him
you're here?
711
00:34:29,026 --> 00:34:31,819
Because Mr. Cassell and I
are very close friends,
712
00:34:32,029 --> 00:34:33,571
and if you tell him I'm here,
713
00:34:33,780 --> 00:34:35,573
he'll want to see me.
714
00:34:35,782 --> 00:34:37,575
That's not very
complicated, is it?
715
00:34:37,784 --> 00:34:39,410
Being a very close friend,
716
00:34:39,619 --> 00:34:41,037
I'm surprised you don't know
717
00:34:41,246 --> 00:34:43,039
that every Wednesday
at this time,
718
00:34:43,248 --> 00:34:45,041
Mr. Cassell
has his hair cut,
719
00:34:45,250 --> 00:34:46,667
and he never sees anyone,
720
00:34:46,877 --> 00:34:48,419
including his
very close friends.
721
00:34:48,628 --> 00:34:49,837
We'll wait.
722
00:34:50,047 --> 00:34:51,547
You're wasting your time.
723
00:34:51,757 --> 00:34:54,967
Oh, no.
You are wasting it.
724
00:35:08,607 --> 00:35:09,982
Mr. Cassell.
725
00:35:10,192 --> 00:35:12,193
No. Miss Selma.
726
00:35:12,402 --> 00:35:14,862
No, I mean I wish
to see Mr. Cassell.
727
00:35:15,072 --> 00:35:16,614
No.
728
00:35:16,823 --> 00:35:18,074
I am Leclou,
729
00:35:18,283 --> 00:35:20,451
the world's greatest
equilibrist.
730
00:35:20,660 --> 00:35:21,744
On Wednesdays,
731
00:35:21,953 --> 00:35:23,621
Mr. Cassell
only sees Giannini,
732
00:35:23,830 --> 00:35:25,706
the world's greatest barber.
733
00:35:25,916 --> 00:35:27,750
Very well, then.
734
00:35:35,801 --> 00:35:38,677
If Mr. Cassell
cannot see me,
735
00:35:38,887 --> 00:35:41,764
then I shall perform...
736
00:35:43,266 --> 00:35:44,767
For you.
737
00:35:54,820 --> 00:35:55,945
What are you doing?
738
00:35:56,154 --> 00:35:57,655
Get off!
739
00:35:57,864 --> 00:35:59,115
Will you get off?
740
00:35:59,324 --> 00:36:00,658
Get off that desk!
741
00:36:00,867 --> 00:36:02,118
Will you get off?
742
00:36:02,327 --> 00:36:03,661
Oh!
743
00:36:03,870 --> 00:36:05,121
Hello, Andre.
744
00:36:05,330 --> 00:36:06,747
Toddy, what the devil...
745
00:36:06,957 --> 00:36:08,277
Andre, I think
it's very important
746
00:36:08,333 --> 00:36:10,459
that you meet count
Victor Grazinsky.
747
00:36:10,669 --> 00:36:12,294
Who the hell is
count Victor Grazinsky?
748
00:36:12,504 --> 00:36:14,463
Surely, you're
joking. The count
749
00:36:14,673 --> 00:36:16,006
is Europe's greatest
female impersonator.
750
00:36:16,216 --> 00:36:18,592
I've never heard of him.
And in All modesty,
751
00:36:18,802 --> 00:36:20,010
if I haven't heard of him,
752
00:36:20,220 --> 00:36:21,595
he can hardly be Europe's
greatest anything.
753
00:36:21,805 --> 00:36:22,972
Count, would you demonstrate?
754
00:36:23,181 --> 00:36:24,181
Certainly.
755
00:36:24,349 --> 00:36:27,810
♪ Aaaaahhh ♪
756
00:36:28,019 --> 00:36:30,688
Eeeaaugh!
757
00:36:30,897 --> 00:36:34,692
What the hell?
758
00:36:43,702 --> 00:36:45,953
Count, with your voice
and my connections,
759
00:36:46,163 --> 00:36:47,705
you're going to get rich,
760
00:36:47,914 --> 00:36:49,790
and I'm going to get richer.
761
00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:52,293
To a long and profitable
relationship.
762
00:36:57,883 --> 00:36:59,758
Now, when can you open?
763
00:36:59,968 --> 00:37:01,177
Where?
764
00:37:01,386 --> 00:37:02,845
Here?
765
00:37:03,054 --> 00:37:04,847
Here?
766
00:37:06,349 --> 00:37:07,766
Here?
767
00:37:07,976 --> 00:37:09,185
Six weeks.
768
00:37:09,394 --> 00:37:10,853
Excellent.
769
00:37:14,357 --> 00:37:15,858
Here.
770
00:37:19,154 --> 00:37:20,571
♪ ...they knew it ♪
771
00:37:20,780 --> 00:37:23,407
♪ It was whizzin'
round the world ♪
772
00:37:23,617 --> 00:37:28,704
♪ The world was ready
for a new kind of music ♪
773
00:37:28,914 --> 00:37:30,247
♪ And now
they play it ♪
774
00:37:30,457 --> 00:37:32,208
♪ From
steamboat Springs ♪
775
00:37:32,417 --> 00:37:34,877
♪ To la Paz ♪
776
00:37:51,311 --> 00:37:53,854
♪ 'Bout 20 years
ago, way down... ♪
777
00:37:54,064 --> 00:37:55,522
Try a tone lower.
778
00:37:55,732 --> 00:37:56,732
O.K., uh...
779
00:37:58,944 --> 00:38:00,444
♪ 'bout 20 years
ago... ♪
780
00:38:00,654 --> 00:38:01,779
No. Try a third.
781
00:38:01,988 --> 00:38:02,988
A third?
782
00:38:03,073 --> 00:38:04,073
Uh-huh.
783
00:38:05,158 --> 00:38:06,242
All right.
784
00:38:06,451 --> 00:38:08,452
♪ 'Bout 20 years
ago... ♪
785
00:38:08,662 --> 00:38:10,037
Perfect.
786
00:38:10,247 --> 00:38:12,706
That's just low enough
to be a touch masculine.
787
00:38:12,916 --> 00:38:14,458
Now, when you're
dancing, remember...
788
00:38:14,668 --> 00:38:17,461
make it broader,
with tons of shoulder.
789
00:38:17,671 --> 00:38:19,755
Remember, you're a drag queen!
790
00:38:19,965 --> 00:38:22,091
♪ When you play me ♪
791
00:38:22,300 --> 00:38:24,551
♪ Le jazz hot, baby ♪
792
00:38:24,761 --> 00:38:29,932
♪ You're holding my soul
together ♪
793
00:38:30,141 --> 00:38:33,894
♪ Don't know whether
it's morning or night... ♪
794
00:38:34,104 --> 00:38:35,312
He's fantastic.
795
00:38:35,522 --> 00:38:36,647
He's a phony.
796
00:38:36,856 --> 00:38:37,898
What do you mean?
797
00:38:38,108 --> 00:38:39,108
If he's a Polish count,
798
00:38:39,150 --> 00:38:40,150
I'm Greta Garbo.
799
00:38:40,318 --> 00:38:42,111
Well, Greta, whatever he is,
800
00:38:42,320 --> 00:38:43,487
I think he's divine.
801
00:38:43,697 --> 00:38:46,490
♪ 'Cause I love
my jazz hot ♪
802
00:38:53,999 --> 00:38:55,624
Whoo!
803
00:38:59,004 --> 00:39:01,130
Oh, god, I'll never make it.
804
00:39:01,339 --> 00:39:03,132
Now listen to me.
From the beginning,
805
00:39:03,341 --> 00:39:04,981
we've had two major
obstacles to overcome.
806
00:39:05,135 --> 00:39:06,635
My bosom.
807
00:39:06,845 --> 00:39:08,345
First, to convince everyone
that you're a man.
808
00:39:08,555 --> 00:39:09,930
Now, so far, we've done that.
809
00:39:10,140 --> 00:39:11,807
It's been damned uncomfortable.
810
00:39:12,017 --> 00:39:12,808
What has?
811
00:39:13,018 --> 00:39:14,184
Strapping down my bosom.
812
00:39:14,394 --> 00:39:16,353
Now All you've got to do
is get out there
813
00:39:16,563 --> 00:39:18,188
and show them what a great
entertainer you are,
814
00:39:18,398 --> 00:39:20,149
and You'll be a star
for the next 20 years.
815
00:39:20,358 --> 00:39:21,358
Toddy, if I have to
strap down my bosom
816
00:39:21,568 --> 00:39:23,110
for the next 20 years,
817
00:39:23,320 --> 00:39:25,480
they're going to end up
looking like two empty wallets.
818
00:39:26,364 --> 00:39:27,156
Sit up.
819
00:39:27,365 --> 00:39:28,157
Then what?
820
00:39:28,366 --> 00:39:29,366
Stand up.
821
00:39:29,576 --> 00:39:30,993
Oh, sit up, stand up, throw up.
822
00:39:31,202 --> 00:39:33,537
Now, you are not
going to be sick!
823
00:39:33,747 --> 00:39:36,081
Not if I faint first.
824
00:39:37,709 --> 00:39:39,168
We've got a full house.
825
00:39:39,377 --> 00:39:40,961
I sent out 300 invitations,
826
00:39:41,171 --> 00:39:42,171
and everyone's turned up
827
00:39:42,380 --> 00:39:43,380
except king Marchand.
828
00:39:43,590 --> 00:39:45,007
Who's king Marchand?
829
00:39:45,216 --> 00:39:47,384
Well, among other things,
he happens to be
830
00:39:47,594 --> 00:39:49,136
the most successful night
club owner in Chicago.
831
00:39:49,346 --> 00:39:50,888
And the other things?
832
00:39:51,056 --> 00:39:53,256
Oh, nothing worth mentioning,
if you want to stay alive.
833
00:40:49,656 --> 00:40:50,781
Ladies and gentlemen,
834
00:40:50,990 --> 00:40:52,616
the night club
is proud to present
835
00:40:52,784 --> 00:40:54,618
the one and only Victoria!
836
00:41:07,757 --> 00:41:10,008
♪ 'Bout 20 years ago ♪
837
00:41:10,218 --> 00:41:15,097
♪ Way down in New Orleans ♪
838
00:41:15,306 --> 00:41:22,104
♪ A group of fellas
found a new kind of music ♪
839
00:41:22,313 --> 00:41:25,899
♪ And they decided
to call it ♪
840
00:41:26,109 --> 00:41:28,819
♪ Jazz ♪
841
00:41:29,028 --> 00:41:31,947
♪ No other sound has
what this music has ♪
842
00:41:37,120 --> 00:41:39,705
♪ Before they knew it ♪
843
00:41:39,914 --> 00:41:44,501
♪ It was whizzin'
round the world ♪
844
00:41:44,711 --> 00:41:47,754
♪ The world was ready
for a blue kind of music ♪
845
00:41:51,926 --> 00:41:54,344
♪ And now they play it ♪
846
00:41:54,554 --> 00:41:56,930
♪ From steamboat Springs
to la Paz ♪
847
00:42:14,199 --> 00:42:18,202
♪ Oh, baby,
won't you play me ♪
848
00:42:18,411 --> 00:42:20,996
♪ Le jazz hot maybe? ♪
849
00:42:21,206 --> 00:42:25,667
♪ And don't ever
let it end ♪
850
00:42:27,212 --> 00:42:28,504
♪ I tell you, friend ♪
851
00:42:28,713 --> 00:42:32,007
♪ It's really something
to hear ♪
852
00:42:32,217 --> 00:42:33,550
♪ I can't sit still ♪
853
00:42:33,760 --> 00:42:37,179
♪ When there's
that rhythm near me ♪
854
00:42:48,066 --> 00:42:50,067
♪ Also, baby ♪
855
00:42:50,276 --> 00:42:52,819
♪ Le jazz hot may be ♪
856
00:42:53,029 --> 00:42:58,575
♪ What's holding my soul
together ♪
857
00:42:58,785 --> 00:43:03,580
♪ Don't know whether
it's morning or night ♪
858
00:43:03,790 --> 00:43:07,584
♪ Only know
it's soundin' right ♪
859
00:43:07,794 --> 00:43:11,004
♪ So, come on in
and play me ♪
860
00:43:11,214 --> 00:43:13,757
♪ Le jazz hot, baby ♪
861
00:43:13,967 --> 00:43:16,176
♪ 'Cause I love my jazz ♪
862
00:43:21,182 --> 00:43:22,891
♪ Hot! ♪
863
00:43:36,781 --> 00:43:38,240
♪ Before they knew it ♪
864
00:43:38,449 --> 00:43:42,286
♪ It was whizzin'
round the world ♪
865
00:43:42,495 --> 00:43:46,248
♪ The world was ready
for a new kind of music ♪
866
00:43:46,457 --> 00:43:48,625
♪ And now they play it ♪
867
00:43:48,835 --> 00:43:52,796
♪ From steamboat Springs
to la Paz ♪
868
00:43:52,964 --> 00:43:54,214
She's a winner.
869
00:43:56,467 --> 00:43:59,052
♪ When you play me ♪
870
00:43:59,262 --> 00:44:01,555
♪ Le jazz hot, baby ♪
871
00:44:01,764 --> 00:44:06,435
♪ You're holding my soul
together ♪
872
00:44:06,644 --> 00:44:12,065
♪ Don't know whether
it's morning or night ♪
873
00:44:12,275 --> 00:44:16,069
♪ Only know
it's soundin' right ♪
874
00:44:16,279 --> 00:44:19,072
♪ So, come on in
and play me ♪
875
00:44:19,282 --> 00:44:21,658
♪ Le jazz hot, baby ♪
876
00:44:21,868 --> 00:44:24,077
♪ 'Cause I love
my jazz hot ♪
877
00:44:30,126 --> 00:44:32,669
♪ Le ♪
878
00:44:32,879 --> 00:44:37,007
♪ Jazz ♪
879
00:44:37,216 --> 00:44:40,135
♪ Hoooottt ♪
880
00:44:52,982 --> 00:44:55,859
Le jazz hot!
881
00:45:00,281 --> 00:45:03,825
Bravo!
Bravo!
882
00:45:07,580 --> 00:45:08,872
Bravo!
883
00:45:09,082 --> 00:45:10,499
Brava.
884
00:45:17,465 --> 00:45:20,300
Bravo!
Bravo!
885
00:45:20,510 --> 00:45:23,595
Bravo!
Bravo!
886
00:45:36,734 --> 00:45:39,027
Ha ha ha ha!
887
00:45:53,251 --> 00:45:54,459
Watch this.
888
00:46:05,596 --> 00:46:07,431
It's a guy!
889
00:46:07,640 --> 00:46:09,933
Yay!
890
00:46:10,143 --> 00:46:11,560
Yay!
891
00:46:20,111 --> 00:46:22,237
Ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
892
00:46:25,116 --> 00:46:27,993
Yay!
893
00:46:58,983 --> 00:47:00,984
Excuse me.
Pardon us.
894
00:47:01,194 --> 00:47:03,820
Pardon me. Pardon me.
895
00:47:04,030 --> 00:47:05,989
Excuse me.
Pardon me.
896
00:47:06,199 --> 00:47:07,741
Come on, dear.
897
00:47:11,996 --> 00:47:13,997
I hope six, eight weeks,
898
00:47:14,207 --> 00:47:16,124
something like that.
899
00:47:17,585 --> 00:47:19,002
Hi.
900
00:47:19,212 --> 00:47:20,504
Hello.
901
00:47:20,713 --> 00:47:23,423
Oh, I'm Norma Cassady.
902
00:47:23,633 --> 00:47:26,009
You were just grand.
903
00:47:26,219 --> 00:47:27,427
Thank you.
904
00:47:27,637 --> 00:47:30,013
Oh, and, uh,
this is king Marchand.
905
00:47:30,223 --> 00:47:31,681
How do you do?
How do you do?
906
00:47:31,891 --> 00:47:33,350
I've got to admit
for a while there,
907
00:47:33,559 --> 00:47:34,851
I was really cheesed off.
908
00:47:35,061 --> 00:47:37,145
King's tongue
was hanging out a foot.
909
00:47:37,355 --> 00:47:39,105
Then, you know when you
took that wig off,
910
00:47:39,315 --> 00:47:41,817
I just couldn't believe it!
911
00:47:42,026 --> 00:47:44,027
King still doesn't.
912
00:47:44,237 --> 00:47:45,237
I'm flattered.
913
00:47:45,321 --> 00:47:46,029
I'm delighted you could make it,
914
00:47:46,239 --> 00:47:47,030
Mr. Marchand.
915
00:47:47,240 --> 00:47:48,240
Oh, thank you.
916
00:47:48,366 --> 00:47:50,659
May I introduce
Mr. Todd?
917
00:47:50,868 --> 00:47:52,035
It's a pleasure.
918
00:47:52,245 --> 00:47:54,037
How do you do?
This is miss Cassady.
919
00:47:54,247 --> 00:47:56,039
Mademoiselle.
920
00:47:56,249 --> 00:47:57,457
Enchanted.
921
00:47:57,667 --> 00:47:59,668
Oh! Me, too.
922
00:47:59,877 --> 00:48:02,712
Well, what do you
think of our new star?
923
00:48:02,922 --> 00:48:04,047
He thinks he's a phony.
924
00:48:04,257 --> 00:48:05,674
Oh, I think she's very talented.
925
00:48:05,883 --> 00:48:07,676
But he doesn't think
you're a man.
926
00:48:07,885 --> 00:48:09,636
I'll tell her what I think.
927
00:48:09,846 --> 00:48:10,637
"Her." See?
928
00:48:10,847 --> 00:48:11,638
Norma...
929
00:48:11,848 --> 00:48:12,639
What?
930
00:48:12,849 --> 00:48:13,640
Mingle.
931
00:48:13,850 --> 00:48:15,600
Oh. Sure.
932
00:48:17,311 --> 00:48:18,645
Care to, um...
933
00:48:18,855 --> 00:48:20,856
Care to mingle
with me, Mr. Todd?
934
00:48:21,065 --> 00:48:22,065
Miss Cassady,
935
00:48:22,275 --> 00:48:23,515
excluding Victor's performance,
936
00:48:23,693 --> 00:48:24,734
mingling with you
937
00:48:24,902 --> 00:48:26,069
may well turn out to be
938
00:48:26,279 --> 00:48:28,071
the highlight of the evening.
939
00:48:28,239 --> 00:48:30,073
I just love Frenchmen!
940
00:48:30,283 --> 00:48:32,075
Oh, so do I.
941
00:48:32,285 --> 00:48:33,702
I'll get you a drink.
942
00:48:33,911 --> 00:48:35,203
Well, thank you.
943
00:48:44,088 --> 00:48:45,964
You were saying,
Mr. Marchand?
944
00:48:46,173 --> 00:48:47,173
Well, I...
945
00:48:47,383 --> 00:48:49,259
I just find it hard to believe
946
00:48:49,468 --> 00:48:51,094
that you're a man.
947
00:48:51,304 --> 00:48:55,098
Because you found me
attractive as a woman?
948
00:48:55,308 --> 00:48:57,434
Yes, as a matter of fact.
949
00:48:57,643 --> 00:48:59,269
It happens frequently.
950
00:48:59,478 --> 00:49:01,271
Not to me.
951
00:49:01,480 --> 00:49:03,273
It just proves the old adage...
952
00:49:03,482 --> 00:49:05,275
there's a first time
for everything.
953
00:49:05,484 --> 00:49:07,110
I don't think so.
954
00:49:07,320 --> 00:49:09,279
But you're not 100% sure.
955
00:49:09,488 --> 00:49:10,780
Practically.
956
00:49:10,990 --> 00:49:13,116
Ah, but to a man like you...
957
00:49:13,284 --> 00:49:14,743
someone who believes
958
00:49:14,952 --> 00:49:17,120
he could never
under any circumstances
959
00:49:17,330 --> 00:49:19,122
find another man attractive,
960
00:49:19,332 --> 00:49:21,541
the margin between
practically and for sure
961
00:49:21,751 --> 00:49:24,794
must be as wide
as the Grand Canyon.
962
00:49:24,962 --> 00:49:27,964
If you were a man,
I'd knock your block off.
963
00:49:28,174 --> 00:49:30,091
And prove that you're a man.
964
00:49:30,301 --> 00:49:31,801
That's a woman's argument.
965
00:49:32,011 --> 00:49:33,762
Your problem,
Mr. Marchand,
966
00:49:33,971 --> 00:49:35,263
is that you're preoccupied
967
00:49:35,473 --> 00:49:36,556
with stereotypes.
968
00:49:36,766 --> 00:49:38,558
I think it's as simple as...
969
00:49:38,768 --> 00:49:40,560
you're one kind of man,
970
00:49:40,770 --> 00:49:42,228
I'm another.
971
00:49:42,438 --> 00:49:43,730
And what kind are you?
972
00:49:43,940 --> 00:49:46,149
One that doesn't
have to prove it
973
00:49:46,359 --> 00:49:47,817
to myself...
974
00:49:48,027 --> 00:49:49,235
Or anyone.
975
00:49:49,445 --> 00:49:51,279
Excuse me.
976
00:49:55,326 --> 00:49:56,701
Thank you.
977
00:49:58,120 --> 00:50:02,082
I...You're kidding!
978
00:50:02,291 --> 00:50:06,503
You... you really
are queer?
979
00:50:06,671 --> 00:50:09,798
Oh! We prefer gay.
980
00:50:10,007 --> 00:50:13,635
Oh, but you're so...
Attractive.
981
00:50:15,221 --> 00:50:17,639
Well, I just think
it's a terrible waste.
982
00:50:19,225 --> 00:50:21,017
You know what I think?
983
00:50:21,227 --> 00:50:22,602
What?
984
00:50:22,812 --> 00:50:27,023
I think that the right woman
could reform you.
985
00:50:27,233 --> 00:50:29,609
You know, I think
the right woman
986
00:50:29,819 --> 00:50:30,860
could reform you, too.
987
00:50:31,070 --> 00:50:33,863
Oh! Me give up men?
Forget it!
988
00:50:34,073 --> 00:50:37,158
You took the words
right out of my mouth.
989
00:50:37,368 --> 00:50:38,201
Norma?
990
00:50:38,369 --> 00:50:39,869
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
991
00:50:40,079 --> 00:50:42,872
I still think
it's a terrible waste.
992
00:50:43,082 --> 00:50:44,708
Well, if it's any consolation,
993
00:50:44,917 --> 00:50:47,043
I assure you it is not wasted.
994
00:50:47,253 --> 00:50:48,712
Oh!
995
00:50:48,921 --> 00:50:49,671
Norma.
996
00:50:49,880 --> 00:50:51,423
What? Jeez...
997
00:50:56,721 --> 00:50:58,096
Au revoir.
998
00:50:58,305 --> 00:51:01,057
Me, too.
999
00:51:01,267 --> 00:51:04,644
Come on. Get out
of my way. Go on.
1000
00:51:07,231 --> 00:51:09,482
See you in church.
1001
00:51:09,692 --> 00:51:11,026
Oh...
1002
00:51:16,907 --> 00:51:19,325
Don't ever leave me alone
like that again.
1003
00:51:19,535 --> 00:51:21,911
What did you think
of king Marchand?
1004
00:51:22,121 --> 00:51:23,913
King Marchand is
an arrogant, opinionated,
1005
00:51:24,123 --> 00:51:25,540
chauvinistic pain in the ass.
1006
00:51:25,750 --> 00:51:27,000
I think I could fall
in love with him.
1007
00:51:27,209 --> 00:51:29,002
I think I could, too.
1008
00:51:29,211 --> 00:51:32,088
I'm tellin' ya, he's gay.
1009
00:51:32,298 --> 00:51:33,715
I know All about it.
1010
00:51:33,924 --> 00:51:35,091
We had a long talk.
1011
00:51:35,301 --> 00:51:37,093
They met in Poland or something,
1012
00:51:37,303 --> 00:51:39,012
and he brought him to Paris,
1013
00:51:39,221 --> 00:51:41,556
and he's making him a big star.
1014
00:51:41,766 --> 00:51:43,224
They're lovers.
1015
00:51:43,434 --> 00:51:45,894
And I know why you
don't want to believe it.
1016
00:51:46,103 --> 00:51:47,145
Ha!
1017
00:51:49,106 --> 00:51:50,899
Can I give you a lift
to your hotel?
1018
00:51:51,108 --> 00:51:52,525
That's kind of you, but...
1019
00:51:52,735 --> 00:51:54,110
we'd be delighted.
1020
00:51:54,320 --> 00:51:55,111
Hotel?
1021
00:51:55,321 --> 00:51:56,321
Why not?
1022
00:52:04,121 --> 00:52:06,539
I heard you, Norma.
I heard you.
1023
00:52:06,749 --> 00:52:09,459
I just don't know what
you're so burned up about.
1024
00:52:09,668 --> 00:52:10,960
Thank you.
1025
00:52:11,170 --> 00:52:12,850
I mean, it was a perfectly
natural mistake.
1026
00:52:12,922 --> 00:52:14,089
Knock it off, Norma.
1027
00:52:14,298 --> 00:52:16,549
Well, squash thought
he was a woman.
1028
00:52:16,759 --> 00:52:20,053
If you think about it,
it's really very funny.
1029
00:52:20,262 --> 00:52:21,971
He isn't bad-looking,
1030
00:52:22,181 --> 00:52:24,557
but I knew he was
a man right away.
1031
00:52:24,767 --> 00:52:26,976
It's the padding.
1032
00:52:27,186 --> 00:52:29,979
I don't care how clever
those costumes are.
1033
00:52:30,147 --> 00:52:33,566
I mean, there are just
some things you cannot fake.
1034
00:52:33,776 --> 00:52:36,569
I mean even with All
those hormone shots
1035
00:52:36,779 --> 00:52:39,948
and everything, a real
woman can always tell.
1036
00:52:40,157 --> 00:52:41,574
Can you imagine
1037
00:52:41,784 --> 00:52:43,576
what Sal Andretti would say
1038
00:52:43,786 --> 00:52:45,995
if he knew his partner fell
1039
00:52:46,205 --> 00:52:48,957
for a female
impersonator? Huh?
1040
00:52:49,166 --> 00:52:50,959
Check under the bed?
1041
00:52:51,168 --> 00:52:52,627
Yes.
1042
00:52:52,837 --> 00:52:54,587
Now...
1043
00:52:54,797 --> 00:52:57,173
I know he's supposed
to protect you,
1044
00:52:57,383 --> 00:53:01,177
but does he have to stay
in the same suite with us?
1045
00:53:01,387 --> 00:53:04,597
I mean, I just keep
expecting him to break in
1046
00:53:04,807 --> 00:53:07,600
while we're, uh,
we're making love.
1047
00:53:07,810 --> 00:53:10,603
He'd only do that if he
heard something unusual,
1048
00:53:10,813 --> 00:53:12,814
like if I got excited.
1049
00:53:13,023 --> 00:53:15,817
Well, you...
You big jerk...
1050
00:53:16,026 --> 00:53:19,612
listen to me, you creep.
1051
00:53:19,822 --> 00:53:22,532
You mind your own business...
1052
00:53:26,162 --> 00:53:27,620
Good evening, sir.
1053
00:53:27,830 --> 00:53:29,497
Good evening.
1054
00:53:29,707 --> 00:53:31,624
Thank you, Andre.
1055
00:53:31,834 --> 00:53:33,042
Good night, toddy.
1056
00:53:33,252 --> 00:53:35,628
Victor, get some sleep.
1057
00:53:35,838 --> 00:53:37,380
Toddy, this is the Marceau.
1058
00:53:37,590 --> 00:53:38,381
Hm-hmm.
1059
00:53:38,591 --> 00:53:39,591
Where are you going?
1060
00:53:39,758 --> 00:53:40,758
Up.
1061
00:53:43,345 --> 00:53:45,263
Entrez!
1062
00:53:47,433 --> 00:53:49,058
That's far enough.
1063
00:53:49,268 --> 00:53:50,852
Toddy, what are you up to?
1064
00:53:51,061 --> 00:53:51,853
Toddy?
1065
00:53:52,062 --> 00:53:52,854
Ta-da!
1066
00:53:53,063 --> 00:53:54,147
Ahh...
1067
00:54:00,905 --> 00:54:03,489
Holy Merde.
1068
00:54:06,911 --> 00:54:08,494
Toddy, when did we move?
1069
00:54:08,704 --> 00:54:10,038
During dress rehearsal.
1070
00:54:12,082 --> 00:54:14,125
But what if I'd flopped?
1071
00:54:14,335 --> 00:54:16,502
Ooh, then, we would have
ordered a sumptuous meal,
1072
00:54:16,712 --> 00:54:19,547
charged it to room service,
drunk the champagne...
1073
00:54:19,757 --> 00:54:21,037
compliments of the management...
1074
00:54:21,133 --> 00:54:22,717
and jumped out the window.
1075
00:54:22,927 --> 00:54:25,929
Which is why I chose
a three-star hotel
1076
00:54:26,138 --> 00:54:27,347
and specifically
requested accommodations
1077
00:54:27,556 --> 00:54:29,224
above the third floor.
1078
00:54:29,433 --> 00:54:30,433
Monsieur.
1079
00:54:30,476 --> 00:54:31,935
Oh, toddy.
1080
00:54:32,144 --> 00:54:35,104
Oh, the bathroom is
a religious experience.
1081
00:54:35,272 --> 00:54:37,941
I can hardly wait.
1082
00:54:38,150 --> 00:54:40,360
Ohh... When can we afford
another bedroom?
1083
00:54:40,569 --> 00:54:43,905
As soon as we're sure you're
not just a flash in the pan.
1084
00:54:44,114 --> 00:54:45,281
My god!
1085
00:54:45,491 --> 00:54:48,534
Besides, one bedroom, one bed,
1086
00:54:48,744 --> 00:54:51,287
promotes the illusion
that we're lovers.
1087
00:54:51,497 --> 00:54:53,081
If for some reason
1088
00:54:53,290 --> 00:54:54,958
we decide we'd
rather sleep apart,
1089
00:54:55,167 --> 00:54:56,327
there's more than enough room
1090
00:54:56,502 --> 00:54:57,961
for one of us in the bathtub.
1091
00:54:58,170 --> 00:55:00,129
Yeah. And if we have
an overnight guest,
1092
00:55:00,339 --> 00:55:02,715
he can always stretch out
in the bidet.
1093
00:55:02,925 --> 00:55:04,092
Right.
1094
00:55:06,303 --> 00:55:08,346
I love you.
1095
00:55:08,555 --> 00:55:10,682
I love you, too, sir.
1096
00:55:12,101 --> 00:55:14,560
Ohh... Ahh!
1097
00:55:14,770 --> 00:55:17,981
Mm-hmm...
Ahh...
1098
00:55:18,190 --> 00:55:21,109
♪ Da-da da dah ♪
1099
00:55:25,990 --> 00:55:27,573
Hey!
1100
00:55:30,411 --> 00:55:32,787
Aren't you coming to bed?
1101
00:55:36,000 --> 00:55:38,960
King...
1102
00:55:42,172 --> 00:55:46,217
Pookie...
1103
00:56:21,837 --> 00:56:22,837
Yoo-hoo.
1104
00:56:28,218 --> 00:56:31,137
I'm horny.
1105
00:56:39,855 --> 00:56:41,314
Oh! Ohh!
1106
00:56:41,523 --> 00:56:43,232
O.K. All right.
1107
00:56:43,442 --> 00:56:46,402
♪ Oh, give me a home ♪
1108
00:56:46,612 --> 00:56:50,073
♪ Where the buffalo roam ♪
1109
00:56:50,282 --> 00:56:53,910
♪ And the deer
and the antelope... ♪
1110
00:56:54,119 --> 00:56:56,871
♪ Are gay ♪
1111
00:56:57,081 --> 00:57:00,750
♪ Where seldom is heard ♪
1112
00:57:00,959 --> 00:57:06,339
♪ A discouraging word ♪
1113
00:57:08,550 --> 00:57:10,343
Obviously a music lover.
1114
00:57:10,552 --> 00:57:12,762
I dare you to hit high "c".
1115
00:57:12,971 --> 00:57:14,931
Well, I will if you will.
1116
00:57:15,140 --> 00:57:17,100
If I could, I would be the star,
1117
00:57:17,309 --> 00:57:19,352
and you would still be trying
1118
00:57:19,561 --> 00:57:22,522
to swap your virtue
for a meatball.
1119
00:57:22,731 --> 00:57:24,941
Speaking of virtue...
1120
00:57:25,150 --> 00:57:26,275
yecch.
1121
00:57:26,485 --> 00:57:29,946
Were you serious
about king Marchand?
1122
00:57:30,155 --> 00:57:31,948
Were you?
1123
00:57:32,116 --> 00:57:34,367
I asked you first.
1124
00:57:34,576 --> 00:57:36,494
That's an infantile evasion.
1125
00:57:38,122 --> 00:57:39,997
O.K.
1126
00:57:40,207 --> 00:57:42,959
I find him extremely attractive.
1127
00:57:43,168 --> 00:57:44,585
Check.
1128
00:57:44,795 --> 00:57:48,131
In fact, I wouldn't mind
having an affair with him.
1129
00:57:48,340 --> 00:57:50,258
I'll buy that.
1130
00:57:57,558 --> 00:57:59,434
You know...
1131
00:57:59,643 --> 00:58:04,981
Pretending to be a man
has its disadvantages.
1132
00:58:05,190 --> 00:58:08,985
My dear count...
You just said
1133
00:58:09,194 --> 00:58:11,779
a cottonpickin' mouthful.
1134
00:58:18,912 --> 00:58:21,456
Pookie...
1135
00:58:29,423 --> 00:58:32,216
It's no big deal.
1136
00:58:40,851 --> 00:58:45,354
It happens to everyone.
1137
00:58:45,564 --> 00:58:47,356
Men, I mean.
1138
00:58:47,566 --> 00:58:49,358
We're lucky.
1139
00:58:49,568 --> 00:58:51,527
Women, I mean.
1140
00:58:51,737 --> 00:58:54,363
We can fake it if we have to.
1141
00:58:54,573 --> 00:59:00,286
Oh! Oh, don't
get me wrong.
1142
00:59:00,496 --> 00:59:04,373
I never have with you.
1143
00:59:04,583 --> 00:59:06,709
Faked it, I mean.
1144
00:59:06,919 --> 00:59:09,128
With you,
1145
00:59:09,338 --> 00:59:15,009
it's... it's like
pow! Pow! Pow!
1146
00:59:15,219 --> 00:59:17,386
Like the fourth of July.
1147
00:59:17,596 --> 00:59:18,804
Every time.
1148
00:59:19,014 --> 00:59:20,556
Just tonight,
1149
00:59:20,766 --> 00:59:23,017
because you couldn't get it...
1150
00:59:23,227 --> 00:59:25,394
up till now, it's been grand.
1151
00:59:25,562 --> 00:59:28,397
Pookie, really, really grand.
1152
00:59:28,607 --> 00:59:31,526
And if there's one thing
1153
00:59:31,735 --> 00:59:34,195
I know for sure,
1154
00:59:34,404 --> 00:59:36,405
you can't let it get you...
1155
00:59:36,615 --> 00:59:38,407
you should excuse
the expression...
1156
00:59:38,617 --> 00:59:39,617
down.
1157
00:59:39,743 --> 00:59:41,410
You can't think about it.
1158
00:59:41,620 --> 00:59:43,180
You just got to
put it out of your mind.
1159
00:59:43,247 --> 00:59:44,747
I mean, the more
you think about it,
1160
00:59:44,957 --> 00:59:46,207
the more you worry.
1161
00:59:46,416 --> 00:59:48,668
The more you worry,
the more you think.
1162
00:59:48,877 --> 00:59:51,379
Think, worry...
umm... It's soft.
1163
00:59:51,588 --> 00:59:52,713
Worry, think...
1164
00:59:52,923 --> 00:59:57,093
It's... it just gets like
a vicious cycle.
1165
00:59:57,302 --> 01:00:00,429
And then, before you know it,
1166
01:00:00,597 --> 01:00:04,016
you are impudent.
1167
01:00:04,226 --> 01:00:06,352
What's with the soap?
1168
01:00:07,938 --> 01:00:09,897
Arghh!
1169
01:00:10,107 --> 01:00:12,858
Aah!
1170
01:00:13,068 --> 01:00:14,860
Look out!
1171
01:00:15,070 --> 01:00:17,280
You son of a bitch!
1172
01:00:17,489 --> 01:00:18,573
Now, Norma...
1173
01:00:18,782 --> 01:00:21,909
No! Nobody puts soap
in my mouth!
1174
01:00:22,119 --> 01:00:24,954
Not even...
not even my mother!
1175
01:00:25,163 --> 01:00:27,790
You're being very childish.
1176
01:00:28,000 --> 01:00:30,876
I'm going to kill him.
I'm going to kill you, too.
1177
01:00:31,086 --> 01:00:33,087
You big, musclebound...
Ooh!
1178
01:00:33,297 --> 01:00:35,097
Listen, you have to learn
to control yourself.
1179
01:00:35,173 --> 01:00:38,050
Aah! Ooh! Gahh!
1180
01:00:38,260 --> 01:00:39,260
Oh, shit!
1181
01:00:39,344 --> 01:00:40,469
Aah!
1182
01:00:40,637 --> 01:00:43,389
This is it!
Let me... Aah!
1183
01:00:47,352 --> 01:00:48,811
You and your ideas.
1184
01:00:48,979 --> 01:00:52,148
"Why don't you take her
to Paris with you, boss?"
1185
01:00:52,357 --> 01:00:54,817
I just thought
she'd help you relax.
1186
01:00:55,027 --> 01:00:56,152
She'd never help me relax.
1187
01:00:56,361 --> 01:00:57,987
Well, then, send her home.
1188
01:00:58,196 --> 01:01:01,073
Why don't you ever come up
with a really good idea?
1189
01:01:01,283 --> 01:01:02,283
For instance?
1190
01:01:02,326 --> 01:01:04,160
You send her home.
1191
01:01:04,369 --> 01:01:07,288
He thinks he can
just push me around.
1192
01:01:07,497 --> 01:01:09,665
Thinks I'm just going to hop
1193
01:01:09,875 --> 01:01:11,834
on the next boat for the states
1194
01:01:12,044 --> 01:01:13,502
and that'll be that.
1195
01:01:13,712 --> 01:01:15,838
Well, you've got
another think coming,
1196
01:01:16,048 --> 01:01:18,507
Mr. big shot
fairy Marchand,
1197
01:01:18,717 --> 01:01:22,094
'cause Mrs. Cassady's
little girl Norma
1198
01:01:22,304 --> 01:01:25,306
ain't gonna take
this one lying down.
1199
01:01:25,515 --> 01:01:27,058
Ooh!
1200
01:01:45,952 --> 01:01:49,205
And don't kid yourself!
1201
01:01:49,414 --> 01:01:52,333
You ain't seen
the last of me yet!
1202
01:01:52,542 --> 01:01:53,542
Aah!
1203
01:01:55,087 --> 01:01:56,337
Are you O.K.?
1204
01:02:13,021 --> 01:02:18,818
♪ La la la la
la-ah-ah ♪
1205
01:02:19,027 --> 01:02:23,114
♪ Ia la la ♪
1206
01:02:24,825 --> 01:02:29,537
♪ la la la la
la ah-ah-ah-ah ♪
1207
01:02:29,746 --> 01:02:35,876
♪ Ah ah ah-ah
ah ah ah-ah ♪
1208
01:02:36,086 --> 01:02:42,883
♪ la-la la
la-ah-ah ♪
1209
01:02:45,345 --> 01:02:50,766
♪ There was once a shady dame
from Seville ♪
1210
01:02:50,976 --> 01:02:54,770
♪ Used to wander round the town
dressed to kill ♪
1211
01:02:54,980 --> 01:02:56,689
♪ And men, if they dared ♪
1212
01:02:56,898 --> 01:03:00,359
♪ Stood and stared
when she passed their way ♪
1213
01:03:00,569 --> 01:03:02,611
♪ The lady knocked them out ♪
1214
01:03:02,821 --> 01:03:05,781
♪ There's no doubt,
'cause they'd shout ♪
1215
01:03:05,991 --> 01:03:08,784
♪ Ole! ♪
1216
01:03:08,994 --> 01:03:14,039
♪ All day ♪
1217
01:03:14,249 --> 01:03:17,793
♪ Seville isn't that much
to shout about ♪
1218
01:03:18,003 --> 01:03:20,546
♪ But when she was out ♪
1219
01:03:20,756 --> 01:03:22,923
♪ Traffic stood still ♪
1220
01:03:24,134 --> 01:03:26,343
♪ Dressed like a vamp ♪
1221
01:03:26,553 --> 01:03:29,096
♪ Or a Pamplona tramp ♪
1222
01:03:29,306 --> 01:03:34,643
♪ She could stampede
the menfolk at will ♪
1223
01:03:34,853 --> 01:03:38,731
Aiee!
Ole!
1224
01:03:48,283 --> 01:03:54,538
♪ One day came
a world-famous matador ♪
1225
01:03:54,748 --> 01:03:56,165
♪ Rat-tat at her door ♪
1226
01:03:58,668 --> 01:04:01,921
♪ Bearing a rose ♪
1227
01:04:02,130 --> 01:04:04,840
♪ If he distressed her ♪
1228
01:04:05,050 --> 01:04:07,510
♪ Disturbing her siesta ♪
1229
01:04:07,719 --> 01:04:11,847
♪ It's best to say
nobody knows ♪
1230
01:04:51,221 --> 01:04:57,476
♪ The rest of the tale's
not a pretty one ♪
1231
01:04:57,686 --> 01:05:02,898
♪ Pity one isn't for sale ♪
1232
01:05:03,108 --> 01:05:07,069
♪ Only two ears and a tail ♪
1233
01:05:07,279 --> 01:05:12,908
♪ Did they find by the blind
on her sill ♪
1234
01:05:13,118 --> 01:05:18,914
♪ No one knows what became ♪
1235
01:05:19,124 --> 01:05:21,959
♪ Of the shady dame ♪
1236
01:05:28,758 --> 01:05:33,637
♪ la la la-ah-ah-
ah-ah ♪
1237
01:05:36,099 --> 01:05:39,602
♪ La da da-ah-ah
ah-ah ♪
1238
01:05:41,146 --> 01:05:46,859
♪ Ah, ah-ah,
la la la-ah-ah ♪
1239
01:05:47,068 --> 01:05:48,485
♪ Ah ♪
1240
01:05:49,905 --> 01:05:53,949
♪ Ah ♪
1241
01:06:00,123 --> 01:06:01,123
♪ La ♪
1242
01:06:02,208 --> 01:06:04,877
♪ The shady dame ♪
1243
01:06:13,970 --> 01:06:16,680
♪ From Seville ♪
1244
01:06:28,109 --> 01:06:29,818
Ole!
Ole!
1245
01:07:11,611 --> 01:07:13,028
Do you believe this weather?
1246
01:07:13,238 --> 01:07:15,030
I thought we left Chicago.
1247
01:07:15,240 --> 01:07:16,448
Would you see
1248
01:07:16,658 --> 01:07:18,450
that count Grazinsky
gets this, please?
1249
01:07:18,660 --> 01:07:20,202
Yes, sir.
1250
01:07:20,412 --> 01:07:21,662
Count Grazinsky.
1251
01:07:21,871 --> 01:07:23,330
Yes, sir. 432.
1252
01:07:23,540 --> 01:07:24,540
Right.
1253
01:07:40,640 --> 01:07:42,057
Oh, hi, Norma!
1254
01:07:42,267 --> 01:07:43,267
Oh!
1255
01:07:45,353 --> 01:07:47,771
That's really funny.
Good night, squash.
1256
01:07:47,981 --> 01:07:49,273
Good night, boss.
1257
01:08:00,910 --> 01:08:03,203
Give me the housekeeper, please.
1258
01:08:07,083 --> 01:08:09,209
I thought you were going to bed.
1259
01:08:09,419 --> 01:08:11,754
I think I'm having
an anxiety attack.
1260
01:08:11,963 --> 01:08:13,756
Oh, you, uh, better
get some sleep.
1261
01:08:13,965 --> 01:08:16,175
I may want to get up
in the morning
1262
01:08:16,384 --> 01:08:17,760
and play some golf.
1263
01:08:17,969 --> 01:08:19,887
Boss, it's snowing outside.
1264
01:08:21,347 --> 01:08:23,891
We'll use red balls.
1265
01:08:29,939 --> 01:08:33,192
Yes. Uh, this is
mister, uh...
1266
01:08:33,401 --> 01:08:35,069
King Marchand.
1267
01:08:35,278 --> 01:08:39,114
Mr. Todd in suite 432.
1268
01:08:39,324 --> 01:08:41,116
Would you be kind
enough to have a maid
1269
01:08:41,326 --> 01:08:43,118
bring up some extra
towels, please?
1270
01:08:43,328 --> 01:08:44,328
Oui, monsieur.
1271
01:08:44,454 --> 01:08:45,746
Thank you so much.
1272
01:09:47,517 --> 01:09:48,976
Monsieur?
1273
01:10:03,032 --> 01:10:04,324
Hmm.
1274
01:11:02,926 --> 01:11:04,134
Bonsoir.
1275
01:11:04,344 --> 01:11:06,261
Bonsoir, monsieur Todd.
1276
01:11:06,471 --> 01:11:07,846
C'est pour Le Comte.
1277
01:11:08,056 --> 01:11:09,389
Merci.
1278
01:11:41,130 --> 01:11:44,383
The concierge gave me this,
but there's nothing on it.
1279
01:11:44,592 --> 01:11:45,384
Hmm.
1280
01:11:45,593 --> 01:11:46,969
Oh, mustn't forget.
1281
01:11:47,178 --> 01:11:49,972
Important photography
session in the morning.
1282
01:11:51,599 --> 01:11:52,975
What's funny?
1283
01:11:53,184 --> 01:11:54,977
Watch the birdie!
1284
01:11:56,187 --> 01:11:58,480
Ha ha ha ha!
1285
01:11:58,690 --> 01:12:00,399
Ahh...
1286
01:12:00,608 --> 01:12:02,150
Oh ho ho!
1287
01:12:02,360 --> 01:12:06,613
Oh, I don't think I've been
this tired in my whole life.
1288
01:12:06,823 --> 01:12:08,824
Oh, you're still a young man.
1289
01:12:09,033 --> 01:12:10,409
But not for long.
1290
01:12:10,618 --> 01:12:15,289
All I want is a nice, hot bath.
1291
01:12:15,498 --> 01:12:18,333
Oh, I had one once.
You'll love it!
1292
01:12:18,543 --> 01:12:20,669
♪ Won't you play me ♪
1293
01:12:20,878 --> 01:12:23,297
♪ That jazz hot, baby? ♪
1294
01:12:23,506 --> 01:12:24,506
Toddy...
1295
01:12:24,549 --> 01:12:26,258
♪ Sorry ♪
1296
01:12:26,467 --> 01:12:28,927
♪ Oh, give me a home ♪
1297
01:12:29,137 --> 01:12:31,513
♪ Where the buffalo roam ♪
1298
01:12:31,723 --> 01:12:35,851
♪ Where the deer
and the antelope play ♪
1299
01:12:36,060 --> 01:12:38,687
♪ Where seldom is heard ♪
1300
01:12:38,896 --> 01:12:42,065
♪ Ya da da da dum dum ♪
1301
01:12:45,111 --> 01:12:47,195
Ohh... I know
this is ridiculous,
1302
01:12:47,405 --> 01:12:49,698
I don't think I'm going
to be able to sleep,
1303
01:12:49,907 --> 01:12:50,949
I'm so tired.
1304
01:12:51,159 --> 01:12:52,492
I'll get you a cognac.
1305
01:12:52,702 --> 01:12:53,952
That'll help me sleep?
1306
01:12:54,162 --> 01:12:56,538
No, but it makes staying awake
1307
01:12:56,748 --> 01:12:58,665
a hell of a lot more fun.
1308
01:13:10,219 --> 01:13:14,765
♪ And the deer and
the antelope are gay ♪
1309
01:13:18,936 --> 01:13:23,357
♪ Where seldom is heard ♪
1310
01:13:23,566 --> 01:13:28,028
♪ A discouraging word ♪
1311
01:14:27,422 --> 01:14:29,881
Mmm...
1312
01:14:39,642 --> 01:14:41,476
Here. Guaranteed to
lift your spirits
1313
01:14:41,686 --> 01:14:42,811
and warm your cockles.
1314
01:14:43,020 --> 01:14:44,479
That's my trouble.
1315
01:14:44,689 --> 01:14:46,481
I don't have any cockles.
1316
01:14:46,691 --> 01:14:47,899
Ha ha ha.
You hungry?
1317
01:14:48,109 --> 01:14:49,549
No, thanks.
I'm too tired.
1318
01:16:18,282 --> 01:16:19,491
What the...
1319
01:16:35,925 --> 01:16:37,008
What?
1320
01:16:38,094 --> 01:16:39,177
Who is this?
1321
01:16:39,387 --> 01:16:41,555
Ohh, I could sleep for a week.
1322
01:16:41,764 --> 01:16:42,931
What?
1323
01:16:43,140 --> 01:16:44,558
I can't understand you.
1324
01:16:44,767 --> 01:16:45,934
What?
1325
01:16:46,143 --> 01:16:48,562
What room did you want?
1326
01:16:48,771 --> 01:16:51,064
Who?
1327
01:16:51,274 --> 01:16:53,942
No, I am not
señor Gomez from Barcelona.
1328
01:16:54,151 --> 01:16:56,611
And unless he's hiding
under my bed,
1329
01:16:56,821 --> 01:16:58,738
you have the wrong room.
1330
01:17:02,743 --> 01:17:04,327
What the hell...
1331
01:17:07,123 --> 01:17:08,623
Phew!
1332
01:17:08,833 --> 01:17:11,585
Why did you open the window?
1333
01:17:11,794 --> 01:17:12,794
Hmm?
1334
01:17:12,837 --> 01:17:14,963
Forget it.
Go to sleep.
1335
01:17:15,172 --> 01:17:17,632
It's freezing.
1336
01:17:17,842 --> 01:17:19,092
Yeah. Small wonder.
1337
01:17:22,805 --> 01:17:24,014
Oh, damn.
1338
01:17:24,223 --> 01:17:25,390
Hmm?
1339
01:17:25,600 --> 01:17:28,226
I left the light on
in the other room.
1340
01:17:28,436 --> 01:17:29,978
Hmm.
1341
01:17:30,187 --> 01:17:32,981
What?
1342
01:17:33,190 --> 01:17:35,609
You got the floor All wet.
1343
01:17:35,818 --> 01:17:36,985
Hmm.
1344
01:17:37,194 --> 01:17:40,071
Bitch, bitch, bitch.
1345
01:17:57,173 --> 01:17:59,174
Do you have heat in your room?
1346
01:17:59,383 --> 01:18:00,675
Yeah.
1347
01:18:00,885 --> 01:18:02,135
Boy, you're lucky.
1348
01:18:12,229 --> 01:18:15,690
♪ Trendy travelers
tend to talk ♪
1349
01:18:15,900 --> 01:18:17,108
♪ Of London ♪
1350
01:18:17,318 --> 01:18:18,360
♪ Paris ♪
1351
01:18:18,569 --> 01:18:20,528
♪ Rome, New York ♪
1352
01:18:20,738 --> 01:18:26,201
♪ Like only they were stylish
and unique ♪
1353
01:18:26,410 --> 01:18:30,163
♪ But out in the Midwest ♪
1354
01:18:30,373 --> 01:18:33,375
♪ Is the city
I love the best ♪
1355
01:18:33,584 --> 01:18:35,960
♪ A town so smart ♪
1356
01:18:36,170 --> 01:18:42,133
♪ Its spelling starts
with c-h-i-c ♪
1357
01:18:42,343 --> 01:18:43,510
♪ Chic! ♪
1358
01:18:50,059 --> 01:18:52,352
♪ Chicago, Illinois ♪
1359
01:18:52,561 --> 01:18:54,187
♪ Is like a shiny toy ♪
1360
01:18:54,397 --> 01:18:57,190
♪ The prairie state
is proud to state ♪
1361
01:18:57,400 --> 01:19:00,402
♪ That it's its pride
and joy ♪
1362
01:19:00,611 --> 01:19:03,905
♪ The windy city
sweeps you clean off your feet ♪
1363
01:19:04,115 --> 01:19:05,156
Oh!
1364
01:19:05,366 --> 01:19:07,033
♪ Its charm is complete ♪
1365
01:19:07,243 --> 01:19:09,577
♪ Wow! They're knocking you flat
this way and that ♪
1366
01:19:09,787 --> 01:19:11,705
♪ On every downtown street ♪
1367
01:19:11,914 --> 01:19:12,997
Aah!
1368
01:19:13,207 --> 01:19:14,749
♪ The white sox and the cubs ♪
1369
01:19:14,959 --> 01:19:16,918
♪ And All
the sporting clubs ♪
1370
01:19:17,128 --> 01:19:21,339
♪ Make living here
a pretty nifty ploy ♪
1371
01:19:21,549 --> 01:19:25,677
♪ Smack on the lake,
this is a rare port ♪
1372
01:19:27,263 --> 01:19:28,346
♪ Someday, they'll say ♪
1373
01:19:28,556 --> 01:19:30,724
♪ We'll have
an airport! ♪
1374
01:19:30,933 --> 01:19:32,058
Yeah!
1375
01:19:32,268 --> 01:19:33,768
♪ When they say ♪
1376
01:19:33,978 --> 01:19:36,771
♪ "Hey, I'm from chi" ♪
1377
01:19:36,981 --> 01:19:39,691
♪ They mean
Chicago, Il-la... ♪
1378
01:19:39,900 --> 01:19:40,942
♪ Nois! ♪
1379
01:19:45,448 --> 01:19:47,407
♪ Chicago, Illinois ♪
1380
01:19:47,616 --> 01:19:49,033
♪ Is like a shiny toy ♪
1381
01:19:49,243 --> 01:19:50,785
♪ The prairie state
is proud to state ♪
1382
01:19:50,995 --> 01:19:52,954
♪ That it's
its pride and joy ♪
1383
01:19:53,164 --> 01:19:55,415
♪ The windy city sweeps you
clean off your feet ♪
1384
01:19:55,624 --> 01:19:57,292
♪ Oh!
It's charm is complete ♪
1385
01:19:57,501 --> 01:19:59,419
♪ They're knocking you flat,
this way and that ♪
1386
01:19:59,628 --> 01:20:01,254
♪ On every downtown street ♪
1387
01:20:01,464 --> 01:20:02,630
♪ The white sox
and the cubs ♪
1388
01:20:02,840 --> 01:20:04,257
♪ And All the sporting clubs ♪
1389
01:20:04,467 --> 01:20:07,135
♪ Make living here
a pretty nifty ploy ♪
1390
01:20:07,344 --> 01:20:09,429
♪ Smack on the lake,
this is a rare port ♪
1391
01:20:09,638 --> 01:20:10,722
♪ Someday, they'll say ♪
1392
01:20:10,931 --> 01:20:14,893
♪ We'll have an airport ♪
1393
01:20:19,482 --> 01:20:23,860
♪ When they say ♪
1394
01:20:24,069 --> 01:20:29,240
♪ "Hey, I'm from chi" ♪
1395
01:20:29,450 --> 01:20:31,701
♪ They mean Chicago, Il-la... ♪
1396
01:20:33,120 --> 01:20:34,996
♪ Chicago is a Killa ♪
1397
01:20:36,457 --> 01:20:40,668
♪ They mean Chicago, Il-la... ♪
1398
01:20:40,878 --> 01:20:41,669
♪ C ♪
1399
01:20:41,837 --> 01:20:42,837
♪ H ♪
1400
01:20:42,880 --> 01:20:43,671
♪ I ♪
1401
01:20:43,881 --> 01:20:44,672
♪ C ♪
1402
01:20:44,882 --> 01:20:45,673
♪ A ♪
1403
01:20:45,883 --> 01:20:46,674
♪ G ♪
1404
01:20:46,842 --> 01:20:48,802
♪ O! ♪
1405
01:20:49,011 --> 01:20:50,178
♪ Illinois ♪
1406
01:20:50,387 --> 01:20:51,846
Oh!
Oh!
1407
01:21:18,040 --> 01:21:19,207
Hi, Sal.
1408
01:21:19,416 --> 01:21:22,502
Thanks for coming by.
1409
01:21:22,711 --> 01:21:24,879
Norma, what's on your mind?
1410
01:21:25,089 --> 01:21:27,465
It-t-t-t's...
1411
01:21:27,675 --> 01:21:28,675
It-t-t-t's...
1412
01:21:28,843 --> 01:21:29,884
King!
1413
01:21:30,094 --> 01:21:31,845
Shacking up with another dame.
1414
01:21:32,054 --> 01:21:33,221
No. Another guy.
1415
01:21:35,099 --> 01:21:37,725
Oh, it's so terrible.
1416
01:21:37,935 --> 01:21:39,018
I just...
1417
01:21:39,228 --> 01:21:41,688
Run that by me again.
1418
01:21:41,897 --> 01:21:44,607
Well, there's this
Polish fairy, you see?
1419
01:22:00,499 --> 01:22:02,208
Even when I was
a second-rate soprano,
1420
01:22:02,418 --> 01:22:03,418
I had a proper dresser.
1421
01:22:03,460 --> 01:22:04,460
You had a proper dresser
1422
01:22:04,545 --> 01:22:05,336
who could swear that you were
1423
01:22:05,546 --> 01:22:06,546
a second-rate
soprano,
1424
01:22:06,755 --> 01:22:08,214
and not a first-class
impostor.
1425
01:22:08,424 --> 01:22:09,716
You trust my dressmaker.
1426
01:22:09,925 --> 01:22:11,685
And he trusts me not
to reveal certain things
1427
01:22:11,802 --> 01:22:13,042
that would be very embarrassing
1428
01:22:13,095 --> 01:22:14,387
to his wife and six children.
1429
01:22:14,597 --> 01:22:16,347
You ought to be ashamed
of yourself.
1430
01:22:16,557 --> 01:22:18,349
Shame is an unhappy emotion
1431
01:22:18,559 --> 01:22:19,767
invented by pietists
1432
01:22:19,977 --> 01:22:21,769
in order to exploit
the human race.
1433
01:22:21,937 --> 01:22:23,897
Who said that?
1434
01:22:24,106 --> 01:22:25,273
I said that.
1435
01:22:25,482 --> 01:22:27,275
You don't believe in shame?
1436
01:22:27,484 --> 01:22:28,902
I believe in happiness.
1437
01:22:30,654 --> 01:22:32,071
Comrades.
1438
01:22:34,783 --> 01:22:37,660
King Marchand has
just offered me a fortune
1439
01:22:37,870 --> 01:22:39,621
for you to appear at his club.
1440
01:22:39,830 --> 01:22:40,914
Would you please
1441
01:22:41,123 --> 01:22:41,706
be more specific
with your nouns?
1442
01:22:41,916 --> 01:22:43,082
$10,000 a week.
1443
01:22:43,292 --> 01:22:45,627
That's not a noun.
That's a fortune.
1444
01:22:45,836 --> 01:22:48,046
He wants to have dinner
with you after the show.
1445
01:22:48,255 --> 01:22:49,631
You think you could make it?
1446
01:22:49,840 --> 01:22:51,049
Oh, I think so.
1447
01:22:51,258 --> 01:22:52,634
I'll tell him.
1448
01:22:52,843 --> 01:22:54,636
$10,000 a week,
10 weeks guaranteed.
1449
01:22:54,845 --> 01:22:56,596
We are on our way.
1450
01:23:04,980 --> 01:23:07,774
♪ I know what
you're thinking ♪
1451
01:23:07,983 --> 01:23:12,111
And you ought to be
ashamed of yourself.
1452
01:23:27,461 --> 01:23:30,046
To the count's opening
night in Chicago.
1453
01:23:30,255 --> 01:23:32,757
To the closing night,
may it never come.
1454
01:23:35,302 --> 01:23:37,679
Do you mind if I ask you
a personal question,
1455
01:23:37,888 --> 01:23:38,972
Mr. Marchand?
1456
01:23:39,181 --> 01:23:41,140
He will whether you mind or not.
1457
01:23:41,350 --> 01:23:43,685
I worry more about
answers than questions.
1458
01:23:43,894 --> 01:23:45,687
It's rather obvious
that Mr. Bernstein
1459
01:23:45,896 --> 01:23:48,690
is on hand to ensure
your continued good health.
1460
01:23:48,899 --> 01:23:50,108
That's not a question.
1461
01:23:50,317 --> 01:23:51,693
Uh-huh.
1462
01:23:51,902 --> 01:23:54,028
Why is he sitting
way over there?
1463
01:23:54,238 --> 01:23:55,321
Strategic.
1464
01:23:55,531 --> 01:23:57,115
Ah. Broader
field of vision,
1465
01:23:57,324 --> 01:23:58,700
clearer field of fire.
1466
01:23:58,909 --> 01:24:01,119
You must have been in the army.
1467
01:24:01,328 --> 01:24:02,704
Once or twice.
1468
01:24:02,913 --> 01:24:04,872
Do you mind if I join him?
He looks so lonely.
1469
01:24:05,082 --> 01:24:06,708
No, I don't mind.
1470
01:24:06,917 --> 01:24:09,127
I promise not to inhibit
his field of fire.
1471
01:24:09,336 --> 01:24:11,087
Incorrigible.
1472
01:24:13,132 --> 01:24:15,967
How long have you
known Mr. Todd?
1473
01:24:16,176 --> 01:24:18,177
Oh, a long time.
1474
01:24:18,387 --> 01:24:20,888
May I ask you
a personal question?
1475
01:24:21,098 --> 01:24:23,057
A clever man once said,
1476
01:24:23,267 --> 01:24:24,851
"it's not the questions
1477
01:24:25,060 --> 01:24:26,728
I'm worried about."
1478
01:24:26,937 --> 01:24:29,188
What's the attraction?
1479
01:24:31,025 --> 01:24:32,275
Would you believe me
1480
01:24:32,484 --> 01:24:34,569
if I told you we were in love?
1481
01:24:34,778 --> 01:24:35,778
No.
1482
01:24:35,946 --> 01:24:37,488
Because homosexuality
1483
01:24:37,698 --> 01:24:39,490
is unnatural and a sin?
1484
01:24:39,700 --> 01:24:41,534
According to whom?
1485
01:24:41,744 --> 01:24:44,495
Oh, pious clergymen
1486
01:24:44,705 --> 01:24:46,914
and terrified heterosexuals.
1487
01:24:47,124 --> 01:24:48,875
Oh, them.
1488
01:24:50,044 --> 01:24:51,044
You're smiling,
1489
01:24:51,170 --> 01:24:52,920
and I don't believe you.
1490
01:24:53,130 --> 01:24:55,506
And you're not smiling,
and you should be.
1491
01:24:55,716 --> 01:24:57,425
I think I'd better
go wash my hands.
1492
01:24:57,634 --> 01:24:59,010
Excuse me.
1493
01:25:01,263 --> 01:25:03,723
Do you ever get
the feeling sometimes
1494
01:25:03,932 --> 01:25:06,684
that you're a sinking ship?
1495
01:25:06,894 --> 01:25:08,102
Constantly.
1496
01:25:08,312 --> 01:25:10,104
Ah, now, there.
You're smiling.
1497
01:25:10,314 --> 01:25:11,939
You light up when you smile.
1498
01:25:12,149 --> 01:25:13,775
That's a funny thing to say.
1499
01:25:13,984 --> 01:25:14,984
How do you mean?
1500
01:25:15,152 --> 01:25:16,569
I mean, one man to another.
1501
01:25:20,115 --> 01:25:22,158
Seems toddy
and Mr. Bernstein
1502
01:25:22,367 --> 01:25:24,285
have found something in common.
1503
01:25:24,495 --> 01:25:26,245
Yeah, uh...
1504
01:25:26,455 --> 01:25:28,414
Cassell was
telling me that, uh...
1505
01:25:28,624 --> 01:25:31,626
Mr. Todd was the headliner
at Chez lui.
1506
01:25:31,835 --> 01:25:33,044
You know Chez lui?
1507
01:25:33,253 --> 01:25:35,046
No, but I was thinking
1508
01:25:35,255 --> 01:25:36,964
that, uh, we might
drop by later,
1509
01:25:37,174 --> 01:25:39,258
and you could educate me.
1510
01:25:39,468 --> 01:25:41,260
I have the feeling
that educating you
1511
01:25:41,470 --> 01:25:42,887
would be about as redundant
1512
01:25:43,097 --> 01:25:44,931
as teaching a lion
to like red meat.
1513
01:25:47,226 --> 01:25:49,060
Cigar?
1514
01:26:02,241 --> 01:26:03,241
May I?
1515
01:26:03,325 --> 01:26:05,618
Mmm, please.
1516
01:26:25,013 --> 01:26:26,472
Thank you.
1517
01:27:15,314 --> 01:27:16,939
Regarde. C'est Victor!
1518
01:27:17,149 --> 01:27:18,316
Ah, toddy!
1519
01:27:18,525 --> 01:27:21,152
What a pleasure.
Come this way, please.
1520
01:27:21,361 --> 01:27:22,820
Regarde.
C'est Victor!
1521
01:27:23,030 --> 01:27:24,906
I have a table for you.
1522
01:27:25,115 --> 01:27:26,574
The best, of course.
1523
01:27:26,783 --> 01:27:28,034
This is a delight.
1524
01:27:30,078 --> 01:27:31,704
Ah, Victor!
1525
01:27:51,225 --> 01:27:53,059
Please, a bottle of champagne.
1526
01:27:54,436 --> 01:27:55,603
Thank you.
1527
01:27:55,812 --> 01:27:57,021
Take this bottle
over to that table.
1528
01:27:57,231 --> 01:27:59,065
Those are very special guests.
1529
01:28:22,130 --> 01:28:23,130
Encore!
1530
01:28:23,340 --> 01:28:24,757
Encore!
1531
01:28:32,140 --> 01:28:34,225
My friends...
1532
01:28:34,434 --> 01:28:36,978
My friends, tonight
I am happy and honored
1533
01:28:37,187 --> 01:28:39,772
to have with us one
of the great entertainers
1534
01:28:39,982 --> 01:28:40,982
of our time...
1535
01:28:41,191 --> 01:28:43,317
the toast of Paris...
1536
01:28:43,527 --> 01:28:45,486
Victor!
1537
01:28:54,997 --> 01:28:57,581
Perhaps Victor...
1538
01:28:57,791 --> 01:28:59,792
Perhaps Victor will honor us
1539
01:29:00,002 --> 01:29:01,544
with a song.
1540
01:29:14,599 --> 01:29:18,144
Give us a "g" with
your left hand, Sid.
1541
01:29:24,818 --> 01:29:26,068
♪ You ♪
1542
01:29:26,278 --> 01:29:28,696
♪ And me ♪
1543
01:29:28,905 --> 01:29:31,490
♪ We're the kind
of people ♪
1544
01:29:31,700 --> 01:29:34,285
♪ Other people ♪
1545
01:29:34,494 --> 01:29:37,079
♪ Would like to be ♪
1546
01:29:40,834 --> 01:29:44,670
♪ Wanderin' free ♪
1547
01:29:44,880 --> 01:29:49,050
♪ We present
the kind of picture ♪
1548
01:29:49,259 --> 01:29:53,888
♪ People are glad
to see ♪
1549
01:29:54,056 --> 01:29:55,723
Something I've wanted
in All my life.
1550
01:29:55,932 --> 01:29:58,309
♪ And we don't care ♪
1551
01:29:58,518 --> 01:30:01,729
♪ That tomorrow
comes with ♪
1552
01:30:01,938 --> 01:30:04,690
♪ No guarantee ♪
1553
01:30:04,900 --> 01:30:07,318
♪ We've each other ♪
1554
01:30:07,527 --> 01:30:13,532
♪ For company ♪
1555
01:30:13,742 --> 01:30:18,746
♪ And come what may ♪
1556
01:30:18,955 --> 01:30:21,874
♪ You and me,
we'll stay together ♪
1557
01:30:22,084 --> 01:30:23,084
Me Harmony.
1558
01:30:23,126 --> 01:30:25,628
♪ Year after year ♪
1559
01:30:27,172 --> 01:30:30,132
♪ Won't we, my dear? ♪
1560
01:30:30,342 --> 01:30:35,262
♪ We'll always
be you and me ♪
1561
01:30:35,472 --> 01:30:37,014
Walk this way.
1562
01:30:38,683 --> 01:30:40,518
Taught him everything he knows.
1563
01:30:40,727 --> 01:30:42,007
That's why he has
so little left.
1564
01:30:42,104 --> 01:30:43,354
Oh, I'll get you for that.
1565
01:30:43,563 --> 01:30:44,730
♪ You ♪
1566
01:30:44,940 --> 01:30:46,399
♪ And me ♪
1567
01:30:49,945 --> 01:30:51,278
♪ Yadada ♪
1568
01:30:51,488 --> 01:30:52,696
Very difficult step.
1569
01:30:52,906 --> 01:30:53,948
Oh, such a fuss!
1570
01:30:54,157 --> 01:30:55,157
Oh, yeah.
1571
01:30:59,746 --> 01:31:01,372
This way, please.
1572
01:31:01,581 --> 01:31:02,706
♪ Wanderin' free ♪
1573
01:31:02,916 --> 01:31:04,708
Sorry about that.
1574
01:31:08,171 --> 01:31:09,964
That was fun, now what do we do?
1575
01:31:10,173 --> 01:31:12,550
You got us into this.
You get us out.
1576
01:31:15,679 --> 01:31:16,929
May I?
1577
01:31:17,139 --> 01:31:18,389
I'd be delighted.
1578
01:31:18,598 --> 01:31:20,975
♪ Tomorrow comes with ♪
1579
01:31:21,184 --> 01:31:22,935
♪ No guarantee ♪
1580
01:31:23,145 --> 01:31:24,311
You're leading again.
1581
01:31:24,521 --> 01:31:25,521
Oh, I'm sorry!
1582
01:31:25,605 --> 01:31:26,814
♪ We've each other ♪
1583
01:31:27,023 --> 01:31:32,403
♪ For company ♪
1584
01:31:32,612 --> 01:31:35,948
♪ And come what may ♪
1585
01:31:36,158 --> 01:31:36,949
This is the place!
1586
01:31:37,159 --> 01:31:37,950
We had to come here?
1587
01:31:38,160 --> 01:31:38,951
Don't argue with me.
1588
01:31:39,161 --> 01:31:39,952
Shut up! Shh!
1589
01:31:40,162 --> 01:31:41,495
Shush yourself!
1590
01:31:41,705 --> 01:31:43,289
Waiter!
1591
01:31:43,498 --> 01:31:45,583
What are we supposed
to do, just stand here?
1592
01:31:45,792 --> 01:31:46,959
Didn't you reserve a table?
1593
01:31:47,169 --> 01:31:48,169
Shh! Shh!
1594
01:31:48,378 --> 01:31:49,003
Of course I reserved a table!
1595
01:31:49,171 --> 01:31:49,962
Let's sit down.
1596
01:31:50,172 --> 01:31:51,422
Please! Victor!
1597
01:31:51,631 --> 01:31:53,591
I don't care if it's
Noel frigging coward!
1598
01:31:53,800 --> 01:31:54,967
This way. This way.
1599
01:31:55,177 --> 01:31:56,510
This way.
1600
01:31:56,720 --> 01:31:58,179
♪ ...me ♪
1601
01:31:58,388 --> 01:32:00,431
Aah!
1602
01:32:00,640 --> 01:32:01,807
My god!
1603
01:32:02,017 --> 01:32:06,353
You rotten bastard!
1604
01:32:06,563 --> 01:32:08,689
You get away from him!
1605
01:32:14,654 --> 01:32:18,115
Aah! Take your
hands off me!
1606
01:32:19,451 --> 01:32:20,659
Aah!
1607
01:32:24,164 --> 01:32:25,414
No!
1608
01:32:25,624 --> 01:32:26,832
You?
1609
01:32:27,042 --> 01:32:28,209
Ah!
1610
01:32:28,418 --> 01:32:31,670
Everybody, this is
a respectable place!
1611
01:32:43,016 --> 01:32:45,851
Oh!
1612
01:32:46,061 --> 01:32:47,061
My...
1613
01:32:48,522 --> 01:32:49,730
I'm so sorry!
1614
01:32:49,940 --> 01:32:51,190
So am I!
1615
01:33:00,867 --> 01:33:03,202
No, please! Stop!
1616
01:33:04,746 --> 01:33:08,290
♪ Aaaaah! ♪
1617
01:33:12,003 --> 01:33:13,462
Cockroach!
1618
01:33:42,784 --> 01:33:43,784
Whoa whoa whoa whoa!
1619
01:33:43,994 --> 01:33:45,786
Ahh.
1620
01:33:45,954 --> 01:33:47,538
Ugh!
1621
01:33:54,129 --> 01:33:56,755
Halt! Halt!
1622
01:34:07,642 --> 01:34:09,560
Ha ha ha!
1623
01:34:14,983 --> 01:34:17,943
I don't care if you are a man.
1624
01:34:23,658 --> 01:34:24,908
I'm...
1625
01:34:25,118 --> 01:34:26,785
Not a man.
1626
01:34:28,622 --> 01:34:30,456
I still don't care.
1627
01:34:50,185 --> 01:34:51,894
Cockroach!
Cockroach!
1628
01:34:52,103 --> 01:34:54,980
I've never seen you
before in my life.
1629
01:35:21,800 --> 01:35:24,635
Ohh! Ohh!
1630
01:35:26,513 --> 01:35:28,013
Aah! Aah!
1631
01:35:32,310 --> 01:35:33,894
Oh, my god.
I'm s...
1632
01:35:34,104 --> 01:35:35,646
I thought...
1633
01:35:38,066 --> 01:35:40,109
I'm really sorry.
1634
01:35:41,861 --> 01:35:43,320
Honestly, I'm...
1635
01:35:43,530 --> 01:35:44,863
I'm sorry.
1636
01:35:51,079 --> 01:35:52,454
Squash?
1637
01:35:52,664 --> 01:35:54,039
Squash?
1638
01:35:55,500 --> 01:35:56,917
Hey, squash, look,
1639
01:35:57,127 --> 01:35:59,336
I know what you're thinking.
1640
01:35:59,546 --> 01:36:01,046
No, you don't.
1641
01:36:02,257 --> 01:36:03,757
In one fell swoop,
1642
01:36:03,967 --> 01:36:05,127
you've changed my whole life.
1643
01:36:05,301 --> 01:36:07,219
It wasn't that kind of swoop.
1644
01:36:08,722 --> 01:36:10,556
Listen, boss...
1645
01:36:10,765 --> 01:36:13,559
If a guy like you
has got the guts
1646
01:36:13,768 --> 01:36:15,060
to admit he's gay...
1647
01:36:18,106 --> 01:36:20,065
So can I.
1648
01:36:25,113 --> 01:36:27,656
You've made me so happy.
1649
01:36:42,630 --> 01:36:45,090
Ha! You know, I...
1650
01:36:59,147 --> 01:37:00,397
What's wrong?
1651
01:37:00,607 --> 01:37:02,274
Oh, nothing, nothing.
1652
01:37:03,777 --> 01:37:05,986
I'm finding this trip to Paris
1653
01:37:06,196 --> 01:37:07,613
a little more...
1654
01:37:07,822 --> 01:37:09,990
Bizarre than usual.
1655
01:37:10,200 --> 01:37:11,992
Ohh...
1656
01:37:12,202 --> 01:37:13,744
Thanks a lot.
1657
01:37:15,288 --> 01:37:16,997
Oh, oh, not you. No.
1658
01:37:17,207 --> 01:37:19,124
It's not you.
1659
01:37:19,334 --> 01:37:20,751
Why not me?
1660
01:37:20,960 --> 01:37:23,086
I mean, a woman pretending
to be a man pretending...
1661
01:37:23,296 --> 01:37:25,005
you can stop pretending.
1662
01:37:25,215 --> 01:37:26,590
And do what?
1663
01:37:26,800 --> 01:37:27,841
Be yourself.
1664
01:37:28,051 --> 01:37:29,343
And what's that?
1665
01:37:29,511 --> 01:37:30,761
What do you mean?
1666
01:37:30,970 --> 01:37:32,095
You're a woman
in love with a man.
1667
01:37:32,305 --> 01:37:34,181
Yes.
1668
01:37:34,390 --> 01:37:36,183
Are we communicating?
1669
01:37:36,392 --> 01:37:38,185
You said a woman
in love with a man,
1670
01:37:38,394 --> 01:37:39,853
but you didn't finish.
1671
01:37:40,063 --> 01:37:42,189
O.K.,
what's the finish?
1672
01:37:42,398 --> 01:37:45,150
A woman in love with a man,
1673
01:37:45,360 --> 01:37:47,152
pretending to be a man...
1674
01:37:47,362 --> 01:37:49,780
I said you can stop pretending.
1675
01:37:49,989 --> 01:37:52,282
But you see,
I don't think I want to.
1676
01:37:53,618 --> 01:37:56,578
I'm a big star now.
I'm a success.
1677
01:37:56,788 --> 01:37:58,163
Oh, that.
1678
01:37:58,373 --> 01:38:00,874
And something more.
1679
01:38:01,084 --> 01:38:04,753
I find it All
really fascinating.
1680
01:38:06,714 --> 01:38:09,591
I mean, there are things
available to me as a man
1681
01:38:09,801 --> 01:38:12,052
that I could
never have as a woman.
1682
01:38:12,262 --> 01:38:13,345
I'm emancipated.
1683
01:38:13,555 --> 01:38:15,180
Emancipated?
1684
01:38:15,390 --> 01:38:18,225
Well, I'm my own man,
so to speak.
1685
01:38:18,434 --> 01:38:21,186
Oh, you should be able
to relate to that.
1686
01:38:21,396 --> 01:38:22,688
Well, to be honest with you,
1687
01:38:22,897 --> 01:38:24,690
right now, I'm having
a little trouble
1688
01:38:24,899 --> 01:38:27,818
relating to anything.
1689
01:38:28,027 --> 01:38:30,195
Look, if we're to have
any kind of future together,
1690
01:38:30,405 --> 01:38:32,197
it's important
that you understand.
1691
01:38:32,407 --> 01:38:33,824
I want to understand.
1692
01:38:34,033 --> 01:38:36,201
Well, you think it would be
fair for me to ask you
1693
01:38:36,411 --> 01:38:37,995
to give up your job?
1694
01:38:38,204 --> 01:38:39,246
It would be ridiculous.
1695
01:38:39,455 --> 01:38:41,832
But you expect me
to give up mine.
1696
01:38:42,041 --> 01:38:43,834
There's a difference,
for Christ's sake.
1697
01:38:44,043 --> 01:38:45,836
Right, but there shouldn't be.
1698
01:38:46,045 --> 01:38:47,212
Look, I'm not the one
1699
01:38:47,422 --> 01:38:48,839
pretending to be someone else.
1700
01:38:49,048 --> 01:38:51,675
Let's put the shoe
on the other foot.
1701
01:38:51,885 --> 01:38:53,760
Let's say that you're a man,
1702
01:38:53,970 --> 01:38:55,220
and I'm a woman
1703
01:38:55,430 --> 01:38:57,055
pretending to be a man.
1704
01:38:57,265 --> 01:38:58,932
Well, I think it
would depend a whole lot
1705
01:38:59,142 --> 01:39:00,851
on why you were pretending.
1706
01:39:01,060 --> 01:39:02,420
Oh, come on now,
Victoria, you said
1707
01:39:02,478 --> 01:39:03,854
it's important
that I understand.
1708
01:39:04,063 --> 01:39:05,230
It's important that
you understand, too.
1709
01:39:05,440 --> 01:39:06,440
Certainly.
1710
01:39:06,566 --> 01:39:07,858
Love is
a two-way street.
1711
01:39:08,067 --> 01:39:09,276
Why did I say that?
1712
01:39:09,485 --> 01:39:11,862
I don't know,
but what's your point?
1713
01:39:12,071 --> 01:39:14,239
Uh, you said if we
were going to have
1714
01:39:14,449 --> 01:39:15,866
any kind of future,
1715
01:39:16,075 --> 01:39:17,784
what do you mean by future?
1716
01:39:17,994 --> 01:39:19,036
Live together?
1717
01:39:19,245 --> 01:39:20,245
Possibly.
1718
01:39:20,455 --> 01:39:21,246
Sleep together?
1719
01:39:21,456 --> 01:39:22,456
Hopefully.
1720
01:39:22,665 --> 01:39:24,458
While you keep on working?
1721
01:39:24,626 --> 01:39:25,626
Yes.
1722
01:39:25,835 --> 01:39:27,878
Pretending to be a man.
1723
01:39:28,087 --> 01:39:30,255
If I didn't,
I wouldn't have a job.
1724
01:39:30,465 --> 01:39:32,257
Uh-huh.
While we're living
1725
01:39:32,467 --> 01:39:33,634
and sleeping together,
1726
01:39:33,843 --> 01:39:35,302
what's everybody going to think?
1727
01:39:35,511 --> 01:39:36,887
I guess they're going to
think that you're living
1728
01:39:37,096 --> 01:39:38,263
and sleeping with a man.
1729
01:39:38,473 --> 01:39:39,932
How do you feel about that?
1730
01:39:40,141 --> 01:39:42,267
Well, they're going to think
the same thing about me.
1731
01:39:42,477 --> 01:39:43,477
But you're a woman!
1732
01:39:43,686 --> 01:39:45,062
Yeah, but they don't know that.
1733
01:39:45,271 --> 01:39:46,271
You do!
1734
01:39:46,481 --> 01:39:48,273
And you know you're a man!
1735
01:39:48,483 --> 01:39:49,942
I don't see the difference.
1736
01:39:50,151 --> 01:39:52,277
We'd be living a damn lie.
1737
01:39:52,487 --> 01:39:53,654
I don't think
1738
01:39:53,863 --> 01:39:55,781
that's what's really
bothering you.
1739
01:39:55,990 --> 01:39:57,491
If you think I'm worried
1740
01:39:57,700 --> 01:39:59,493
about everybody
thinking I'm a fag,
1741
01:39:59,661 --> 01:40:00,744
you're right.
1742
01:40:02,455 --> 01:40:04,164
So we have a problem.
1743
01:40:04,374 --> 01:40:05,791
I guess we have.
1744
01:40:12,465 --> 01:40:14,508
Well, it's probably
for the best.
1745
01:40:14,717 --> 01:40:16,510
That's as bad
1746
01:40:16,719 --> 01:40:18,804
as "love is
a two-way street."
1747
01:40:19,973 --> 01:40:22,432
What it lacks in originality,
1748
01:40:22,642 --> 01:40:25,310
it makes up for in prophecy.
1749
01:40:26,813 --> 01:40:29,064
Sooner or later,
I'd probably ask you
1750
01:40:29,273 --> 01:40:32,025
to stop being a gangster
because I was worried
1751
01:40:32,235 --> 01:40:34,611
about everyone thinking
I was your moll.
1752
01:40:34,821 --> 01:40:36,446
I am not a gangster.
1753
01:40:36,656 --> 01:40:38,490
Just a businessman
with a bodyguard.
1754
01:40:38,700 --> 01:40:39,783
A businessman
1755
01:40:39,993 --> 01:40:40,867
who does business with gangsters
1756
01:40:41,077 --> 01:40:42,202
and doesn't have a bodyguard
1757
01:40:42,412 --> 01:40:43,787
is soon out of business.
1758
01:40:43,997 --> 01:40:46,456
A businessman who does
business with gangsters
1759
01:40:46,666 --> 01:40:48,458
and pretends he's not a gangster
1760
01:40:48,668 --> 01:40:50,836
sounds a lot like
the kind of act I do.
1761
01:40:52,630 --> 01:40:54,840
I think we're both pretenders,
1762
01:40:55,049 --> 01:40:57,467
and that's not a very good basis
1763
01:40:57,677 --> 01:40:58,969
for a relationship.
1764
01:41:07,020 --> 01:41:10,605
Oh, but it was fun
while it lasted.
1765
01:41:38,217 --> 01:41:39,968
Have a nice evening?
1766
01:41:40,178 --> 01:41:41,887
Up to a point.
1767
01:41:42,096 --> 01:41:43,513
What happened to you?
1768
01:41:43,723 --> 01:41:45,932
Oh, nothing much.
We were All arrested.
1769
01:41:46,142 --> 01:41:49,019
Andre called his lawyer,
who bailed us out.
1770
01:41:53,066 --> 01:41:54,483
You remember
Mr. Bernstein.
1771
01:41:54,692 --> 01:41:55,901
Count Grazinsky.
1772
01:41:58,446 --> 01:42:00,405
Mr. Bernstein.
1773
01:42:02,575 --> 01:42:05,327
Hey, squash, can I ask you
1774
01:42:05,536 --> 01:42:06,703
a personal question?
1775
01:42:06,913 --> 01:42:08,038
Go ahead.
1776
01:42:09,707 --> 01:42:10,957
How long... i mean...
1777
01:42:11,167 --> 01:42:13,919
Exactly when did you
know about, uh...
1778
01:42:14,128 --> 01:42:15,921
When did I know I was gay?
1779
01:42:16,130 --> 01:42:17,255
Yeah.
1780
01:42:17,465 --> 01:42:18,548
God, I can't remember
when I wasn't.
1781
01:42:18,758 --> 01:42:20,550
I've known you for 15 years.
1782
01:42:20,760 --> 01:42:22,928
You knew a lot of guys, boss.
1783
01:42:23,137 --> 01:42:24,554
You'd be surprised.
1784
01:42:24,764 --> 01:42:26,556
You were
an All-American.
1785
01:42:26,766 --> 01:42:28,975
I never saw a meaner, rougher,
1786
01:42:29,185 --> 01:42:30,936
tougher, son-of-a-bitch
football player
1787
01:42:31,145 --> 01:42:32,270
in All my life.
1788
01:42:32,480 --> 01:42:33,480
Listen, if you didn't
want the guys
1789
01:42:33,689 --> 01:42:34,940
to call you queer,
1790
01:42:35,149 --> 01:42:36,942
you became a rough, tough,
1791
01:42:37,151 --> 01:42:39,694
son-of-a-bitchin'
football player.
1792
01:42:42,156 --> 01:42:44,950
Why don't you watch
where you're going, huh?
1793
01:42:49,163 --> 01:42:50,997
He says it was your fault
1794
01:42:51,207 --> 01:42:52,647
and, uh, suggests
that you apologize.
1795
01:42:52,708 --> 01:42:53,500
Oh, he does.
1796
01:42:53,709 --> 01:42:54,501
Come on.
1797
01:42:54,710 --> 01:42:56,002
No, no, no, no.
1798
01:42:56,212 --> 01:42:57,963
Well, you tell him
if he'd like an apology,
1799
01:42:58,172 --> 01:42:59,589
he can just get him some gloves,
1800
01:42:59,799 --> 01:43:01,967
and I'll see him in the ring.
1801
01:43:06,806 --> 01:43:08,598
Just give him 10 minutes.
1802
01:43:08,808 --> 01:43:10,517
He will be delighted to oblige.
1803
01:43:10,726 --> 01:43:12,102
Oh, he will, huh?
1804
01:43:13,521 --> 01:43:14,980
He'd be delighted to oblige.
1805
01:43:15,189 --> 01:43:17,524
Who the hell does
he think he is?
1806
01:43:17,733 --> 01:43:19,025
Guy Langois,
1807
01:43:19,235 --> 01:43:20,795
the French middleweight
boxing champion.
1808
01:43:20,987 --> 01:43:22,654
But don't worry.
1809
01:43:22,864 --> 01:43:23,989
He's gay.
1810
01:43:26,284 --> 01:43:28,618
♪ The shady dame ♪
1811
01:43:38,212 --> 01:43:40,172
♪ From Seville ♪
1812
01:43:52,810 --> 01:43:53,852
Ole!
Ole!
1813
01:44:07,074 --> 01:44:08,116
Mr. Bernstein.
1814
01:44:08,326 --> 01:44:09,326
Count.
1815
01:44:16,417 --> 01:44:19,044
I think we should
try living together.
1816
01:44:19,253 --> 01:44:22,172
Your place or mine?
1817
01:44:30,723 --> 01:44:31,932
Monsieur Labisse?
1818
01:44:32,141 --> 01:44:33,141
Yes?
1819
01:44:43,361 --> 01:44:44,653
You called.
1820
01:44:44,862 --> 01:44:47,530
I am Charles Bovin,
private investigator.
1821
01:44:47,740 --> 01:44:49,115
Good.
There is something
1822
01:44:49,325 --> 01:44:52,118
I want you to find out for me.
1823
01:44:52,328 --> 01:44:53,536
At your service.
1824
01:44:53,746 --> 01:44:55,538
Be careful.
1825
01:44:55,748 --> 01:44:58,124
Monsieur, I'm always careful.
1826
01:44:58,292 --> 01:45:00,126
That stool is broken.
1827
01:45:00,336 --> 01:45:01,670
It is?
1828
01:45:03,130 --> 01:45:04,965
Penny.
1829
01:45:05,174 --> 01:45:07,550
Oh, nothing.
1830
01:45:07,760 --> 01:45:11,680
Ah, a lot of things, I guess.
1831
01:45:15,726 --> 01:45:18,144
I want to make a deal.
1832
01:45:18,354 --> 01:45:19,646
Hmm?
1833
01:45:19,855 --> 01:45:22,148
No secrets,
1834
01:45:22,358 --> 01:45:25,568
no grudge collecting.
1835
01:45:25,778 --> 01:45:27,153
If something bothers us,
1836
01:45:27,363 --> 01:45:29,155
we say so, O.K.?
1837
01:45:29,365 --> 01:45:30,573
O.K.
1838
01:45:30,783 --> 01:45:33,159
And we don't plan past tomorrow.
1839
01:45:33,327 --> 01:45:35,161
Just...
1840
01:45:35,371 --> 01:45:37,414
Take it a day at a time.
1841
01:45:39,333 --> 01:45:40,792
Deal.
1842
01:46:03,190 --> 01:46:05,275
♪ Crazy world ♪
1843
01:46:05,484 --> 01:46:11,531
♪ Full of crazy contradictions
like a child ♪
1844
01:46:11,741 --> 01:46:15,368
♪ First you drive me wild ♪
1845
01:46:15,578 --> 01:46:23,335
♪ And then you win my heart
with your wicked art ♪
1846
01:46:24,045 --> 01:46:27,172
♪ One minute tender ♪
1847
01:46:28,841 --> 01:46:31,926
♪ Gentle ♪
1848
01:46:32,136 --> 01:46:37,599
♪ Then temperamental
as a summer storm ♪
1849
01:46:39,310 --> 01:46:45,482
♪ Just when I believe
your heart's getting warmer ♪
1850
01:46:45,691 --> 01:46:48,902
♪ You're cold,
and you're cruel ♪
1851
01:46:49,111 --> 01:46:51,946
♪ And I, like a fool,
try to cope ♪
1852
01:46:56,243 --> 01:47:02,624
♪ Try to hang on ♪
1853
01:47:02,833 --> 01:47:06,378
♪ To hope ♪
1854
01:47:14,887 --> 01:47:17,347
♪ Crazy world ♪
1855
01:47:17,556 --> 01:47:24,229
♪ Every day, the same old
roller coaster ride ♪
1856
01:47:24,438 --> 01:47:27,732
♪ But I've got my pride ♪
1857
01:47:27,942 --> 01:47:32,112
♪ I won't give in ♪
1858
01:47:32,321 --> 01:47:35,031
♪ Even though ♪
1859
01:47:35,241 --> 01:47:37,409
♪ I know I'll never win ♪
1860
01:47:44,291 --> 01:47:46,709
♪ Oh, how I love this ♪
1861
01:47:55,052 --> 01:47:57,262
♪ Crazy world ♪
1862
01:48:22,913 --> 01:48:24,914
Bravo!
1863
01:48:26,500 --> 01:48:28,626
Bravo, Victor!
1864
01:49:01,535 --> 01:49:03,953
Ha ha ha!
1865
01:49:16,342 --> 01:49:18,801
He's got a good right hand,
and he doesn't use it!
1866
01:49:19,011 --> 01:49:21,221
Oh, there's the right!
1867
01:49:21,430 --> 01:49:22,639
There's the right.
1868
01:49:22,848 --> 01:49:24,974
I told you!
He's got him.
1869
01:49:25,184 --> 01:49:28,144
Hook him! Hook him!
Hook him! Hook him!
1870
01:49:29,563 --> 01:49:31,606
Ah, go get him!
1871
01:49:31,815 --> 01:49:33,024
All right, All right!
1872
01:49:33,234 --> 01:49:34,776
He's got him!
1873
01:51:01,405 --> 01:51:02,947
Is something wrong?
1874
01:51:04,742 --> 01:51:07,535
Oh, we've had
dinner in the hotel
1875
01:51:07,745 --> 01:51:09,579
every night for a week now.
1876
01:51:09,788 --> 01:51:12,498
Well, when we go out
after the show,
1877
01:51:12,708 --> 01:51:14,417
you're usually so tired,
you spend the next day sleeping.
1878
01:51:14,627 --> 01:51:17,503
This way, we go to bed
reasonably early,
1879
01:51:17,713 --> 01:51:20,632
and we can spend a few
afternoons together.
1880
01:51:23,677 --> 01:51:26,387
Do you know what I'd
really love to do?
1881
01:51:26,597 --> 01:51:28,139
What?
1882
01:51:28,349 --> 01:51:30,516
Skip a few afternoons
1883
01:51:30,726 --> 01:51:32,018
and go dancing.
1884
01:51:32,227 --> 01:51:33,728
Dancing?
1885
01:52:17,064 --> 01:52:18,147
Let's go.
1886
01:52:32,746 --> 01:52:34,205
Take her back to the hotel.
1887
01:52:34,415 --> 01:52:35,581
I'll see you later.
1888
01:52:35,791 --> 01:52:36,833
Hey, boss...
1889
01:52:37,042 --> 01:52:38,251
just do what
I tell you, O.K.?
1890
01:52:38,460 --> 01:52:40,336
I'll be All right, go on.
1891
01:52:55,769 --> 01:52:58,354
I just wanted to go dancing.
1892
01:52:58,564 --> 01:53:00,273
Yeah, well, I guess if two guys
1893
01:53:00,441 --> 01:53:02,233
wanted to go dancing together,
1894
01:53:02,443 --> 01:53:04,235
that'd be a little unorthodox
1895
01:53:04,445 --> 01:53:05,737
at the Ritz.
1896
01:53:07,781 --> 01:53:08,948
I guess the problem is,
1897
01:53:09,158 --> 01:53:11,075
we're not really two guys.
1898
01:53:13,287 --> 01:53:15,371
Yeah, I guess
that is the problem.
1899
01:53:25,632 --> 01:53:27,759
Stop, driver. Back up.
1900
01:54:23,982 --> 01:54:25,066
Milk.
1901
01:54:30,155 --> 01:54:31,405
Cow's milk, monsieur,
1902
01:54:31,615 --> 01:54:33,157
or mother's milk?
1903
01:54:38,997 --> 01:54:40,623
How about your sister's?
1904
01:54:55,222 --> 01:54:56,222
Oh, shit.
1905
01:55:21,540 --> 01:55:23,833
You're early.
1906
01:55:25,252 --> 01:55:27,879
Seems like I'm a bachelor again.
1907
01:55:28,088 --> 01:55:29,881
Oh, it was just as well.
1908
01:55:30,090 --> 01:55:31,257
Mr. Bernstein
was beginning
1909
01:55:31,466 --> 01:55:33,259
to make a permanent dent
1910
01:55:33,468 --> 01:55:34,844
in the mattress.
1911
01:55:36,430 --> 01:55:38,306
Oh, toddy...
1912
01:55:38,515 --> 01:55:40,766
I'm very much in love,
1913
01:55:40,976 --> 01:55:43,269
and I don't know what to do.
1914
01:55:43,478 --> 01:55:44,896
Here.
1915
01:55:45,105 --> 01:55:47,857
I can't stand to see
a grown man cry.
1916
01:56:00,787 --> 01:56:03,831
♪ Sweet Adeline ♪
1917
01:56:04,041 --> 01:56:08,127
♪ Sweet Adeline ♪
1918
01:56:08,337 --> 01:56:09,337
Good.
1919
01:56:09,463 --> 01:56:11,756
♪ My Adeline ♪
1920
01:56:11,965 --> 01:56:14,926
♪ My Adeline ♪
1921
01:56:15,135 --> 01:56:16,802
You got it!
1922
01:56:17,012 --> 01:56:19,805
♪ Your fair face
beams ♪
1923
01:56:20,015 --> 01:56:24,727
♪ Your fair face
beams ♪
1924
01:56:24,937 --> 01:56:29,148
♪ In All my dreams ♪
1925
01:56:29,358 --> 01:56:30,983
You're real lucky, boss.
1926
01:56:31,193 --> 01:56:32,485
Lucky?
1927
01:56:32,694 --> 01:56:34,779
Yeah, you're lucky you
didn't break anything.
1928
01:56:34,988 --> 01:56:36,155
I couldn't feel any worse
1929
01:56:36,365 --> 01:56:38,449
if I broke everything.
1930
01:56:40,118 --> 01:56:42,912
You ever seen so many bruises?
1931
01:56:44,498 --> 01:56:47,375
Yeah. on a whole
football team.
1932
01:56:47,584 --> 01:56:49,585
Feel like I spent the night
1933
01:56:49,795 --> 01:56:51,045
in a cement mixer.
1934
01:57:00,013 --> 01:57:01,889
Hello, faggot.
1935
01:57:02,099 --> 01:57:03,975
Oh, I knew things
1936
01:57:04,184 --> 01:57:06,769
were going too good to last.
1937
01:57:06,979 --> 01:57:07,979
Hold it.
1938
01:57:09,147 --> 01:57:12,858
Now, head up just a touch.
1939
01:57:13,068 --> 01:57:14,819
Herr Victor doesn't
look very well.
1940
01:57:15,028 --> 01:57:16,195
Oh, it's nothing serious.
1941
01:57:16,405 --> 01:57:17,655
A few nights flat on his back
1942
01:57:17,864 --> 01:57:18,864
under a specialist,
1943
01:57:19,032 --> 01:57:20,157
and he'll be as good as new.
1944
01:57:20,367 --> 01:57:21,617
Good.
1945
01:57:21,827 --> 01:57:23,160
Victor, darling, do you think
1946
01:57:23,370 --> 01:57:25,788
you could possibly
manage to look
1947
01:57:25,998 --> 01:57:27,206
a little less...
Funereal?
1948
01:57:27,416 --> 01:57:28,666
Rene, darling?
1949
01:57:28,875 --> 01:57:29,875
Yes?
1950
01:57:30,043 --> 01:57:32,003
Why don't you go suck an egg?
1951
01:57:33,380 --> 01:57:35,047
I do wish you'd think about it.
1952
01:57:35,257 --> 01:57:36,632
I have thought about it, toddy.
1953
01:57:36,842 --> 01:57:38,217
For the past two weeks,
I've spent
1954
01:57:38,427 --> 01:57:40,011
a great deal of time
thinking about it.
1955
01:57:40,220 --> 01:57:41,554
And for the seven hours
1956
01:57:41,763 --> 01:57:43,639
I couldn't sleep last night,
1957
01:57:43,849 --> 01:57:45,683
I thought about it constantly.
1958
01:57:45,892 --> 01:57:47,685
So I've come to the conclusion
1959
01:57:47,894 --> 01:57:49,311
that it's just not worth it.
1960
01:57:49,521 --> 01:57:51,230
I am very unhappy
in the extreme,
1961
01:57:51,440 --> 01:57:54,066
and I don't have to be because
there is an alternative.
1962
01:57:54,276 --> 01:57:55,735
Tonight will be
1963
01:57:55,944 --> 01:57:57,737
count Victor Grazinsky's
final performance,
1964
01:57:57,946 --> 01:58:00,072
and tomorrow, I shall
announce to the world
1965
01:58:00,282 --> 01:58:02,700
that I am really Victoria Grant,
1966
01:58:02,909 --> 01:58:05,077
who may one day be lucky enough
1967
01:58:05,287 --> 01:58:06,704
to celebrate her womanhood
1968
01:58:06,913 --> 01:58:08,205
as Mrs. king Marchand.
1969
01:58:10,751 --> 01:58:12,001
Well?
1970
01:58:12,210 --> 01:58:16,213
Well, what?
You've made up your mind.
1971
01:58:18,425 --> 01:58:19,800
I want your blessing.
1972
01:58:21,803 --> 01:58:24,388
Can I answer the door first?
1973
01:58:30,854 --> 01:58:32,146
I got a problem.
1974
01:58:32,355 --> 01:58:33,773
Welcome.
1975
01:58:33,982 --> 01:58:35,232
What's wrong,
Mr. Bernstein?
1976
01:58:35,442 --> 01:58:36,776
King's partner Sal Andretti
1977
01:58:36,985 --> 01:58:39,737
showed up with a couple
of his torpedoes.
1978
01:58:41,198 --> 01:58:43,074
Sal put up the money
for the club,
1979
01:58:43,283 --> 01:58:45,743
but, uh, the mob doesn't
consider homosexuality
1980
01:58:45,952 --> 01:58:47,119
an acceptable life style.
1981
01:58:47,329 --> 01:58:49,330
Kill him, but mustn't kiss him.
1982
01:59:04,096 --> 01:59:05,179
Let's go,
Mr. Bernstein.
1983
01:59:05,388 --> 01:59:07,264
Let's go,
Mr. Bernstein.
1984
01:59:12,479 --> 01:59:18,359
Ooohhhhh...
1985
01:59:20,904 --> 01:59:22,863
Your lawyer looked,
says it's O.K.
1986
01:59:23,073 --> 01:59:25,783
That's reassuring.
How is my lawyer?
1987
01:59:25,992 --> 01:59:27,159
Picture of health.
1988
01:59:27,369 --> 01:59:30,287
Lipstick and a nightgown?
1989
01:59:30,497 --> 01:59:32,957
What, do you take turns
being the girl?
1990
01:59:33,166 --> 01:59:35,835
That is disgusting.
1991
01:59:36,044 --> 01:59:37,795
I know. It's awful.
1992
01:59:39,840 --> 01:59:41,799
Jesus, king.
A guy like you?
1993
01:59:42,008 --> 01:59:43,342
We grew up together.
1994
01:59:43,552 --> 01:59:45,803
Yeah, that probably had
something to do with it.
1995
01:59:51,977 --> 01:59:53,811
Come on, Sal, you know my half
1996
01:59:54,020 --> 01:59:55,688
is worth 10 times that much.
1997
01:59:55,897 --> 01:59:58,149
Yeah.
Sign the paper.
1998
02:00:15,000 --> 02:00:16,417
Hello, darling.
1999
02:00:16,626 --> 02:00:17,626
Ick!
2000
02:00:17,836 --> 02:00:18,836
Hi, Sal.
2001
02:00:19,045 --> 02:00:21,046
Who the hell are you?
2002
02:00:21,256 --> 02:00:23,215
Just remember your
blood pressure, Nummy.
2003
02:00:23,425 --> 02:00:24,842
This is the count.
2004
02:00:25,051 --> 02:00:26,218
Nummy?
2005
02:00:26,428 --> 02:00:28,888
This is Mr. toddy.
2006
02:00:29,097 --> 02:00:30,723
They were lovers
before, uh... Ahem,
2007
02:00:30,932 --> 02:00:31,724
Pookie showed up.
2008
02:00:31,933 --> 02:00:32,725
That is disgusting!
2009
02:00:32,934 --> 02:00:33,726
They're perverted.
2010
02:00:33,935 --> 02:00:35,060
Pookie?
2011
02:00:35,270 --> 02:00:36,145
Can I have a word
with you, Norma?
2012
02:00:36,354 --> 02:00:37,354
What's it that you need?
2013
02:00:37,397 --> 02:00:38,397
It's very important.
2014
02:00:38,440 --> 02:00:39,565
Get your mitts off me!
2015
02:00:39,774 --> 02:00:40,482
It's going to change
your whole life.
2016
02:00:40,692 --> 02:00:41,692
Sal! Get this... aah!
2017
02:00:41,776 --> 02:00:43,777
Freeze.
2018
02:00:48,408 --> 02:00:50,868
What... what's going...
What are you doing?
2019
02:00:55,040 --> 02:00:56,874
Oh, my god.
2020
02:00:58,418 --> 02:00:59,877
What is hap...
2021
02:01:00,086 --> 02:01:02,421
What are you...
Oh, god!
2022
02:01:02,589 --> 02:01:03,881
What is happening?
2023
02:01:06,426 --> 02:01:07,551
Wait!
2024
02:01:11,431 --> 02:01:12,890
Lock the door.
2025
02:01:14,434 --> 02:01:16,310
What's going on in there?
2026
02:01:16,519 --> 02:01:18,896
You know, you guys
are in a lot of trouble.
2027
02:01:22,442 --> 02:01:25,319
You two-timing
son of a bitch!
2028
02:01:25,528 --> 02:01:27,238
He's a woman!
2029
02:01:54,432 --> 02:01:57,351
Labisse is on his way here
with the police.
2030
02:01:57,560 --> 02:01:59,478
He claims you're not a man.
2031
02:01:59,688 --> 02:02:01,397
Stay there.
2032
02:02:10,824 --> 02:02:12,241
Yes?
2033
02:02:12,450 --> 02:02:13,659
I am inspector Bernheim.
2034
02:02:13,868 --> 02:02:14,868
Yes?
2035
02:02:15,036 --> 02:02:16,245
Stand aside.
2036
02:02:16,454 --> 02:02:18,664
I know All about
your count Grazinsky,
2037
02:02:18,873 --> 02:02:20,082
and when the inspector
2038
02:02:20,292 --> 02:02:21,667
has exposed the impostor...
2039
02:02:21,876 --> 02:02:23,002
impostor?
2040
02:02:23,211 --> 02:02:25,087
Yes impostor! You will
All be arrested
2041
02:02:25,297 --> 02:02:27,214
for perpetrating a public fraud!
2042
02:02:28,842 --> 02:02:30,217
Please, inspector.
2043
02:02:46,860 --> 02:02:47,860
Well?
2044
02:02:47,902 --> 02:02:48,902
You idiot!
2045
02:02:49,070 --> 02:02:49,862
What?
2046
02:02:50,071 --> 02:02:51,113
That's a man.
2047
02:02:51,323 --> 02:02:52,781
Oh, it can't be.
2048
02:02:52,991 --> 02:02:54,199
No? Well, when I walked in,
the person in that room
2049
02:02:54,409 --> 02:02:55,868
was naked from the waist down.
2050
02:02:56,036 --> 02:02:58,037
And if that was a woman,
then she was wearing
2051
02:02:58,246 --> 02:03:00,039
the greatest disguise
that I have ever seen!
2052
02:03:00,248 --> 02:03:02,041
Wait! There is
something wrong!
2053
02:03:02,250 --> 02:03:03,334
It can't be!
2054
02:03:03,543 --> 02:03:05,169
I hired a private detective...
2055
02:03:06,713 --> 02:03:08,589
Hurry.
2056
02:03:48,922 --> 02:03:50,464
Ladies and gentlemen,
2057
02:03:50,673 --> 02:03:53,425
once again, the night club
is proud to present
2058
02:03:53,635 --> 02:03:57,054
the one, the only...
Victoria!
2059
02:04:31,256 --> 02:04:34,049
♪ la-ha la la la la la ♪
2060
02:04:34,259 --> 02:04:37,553
♪ la la la ♪
2061
02:04:40,765 --> 02:04:41,974
♪ la-ha-ha-ha ♪
2062
02:04:42,183 --> 02:04:44,059
♪ la-ha-ha-ha-ha ♪
2063
02:04:44,269 --> 02:04:45,727
♪ la-ha-ha-ha ♪
2064
02:04:45,937 --> 02:04:48,313
♪ la la la la ♪
2065
02:04:48,523 --> 02:04:50,774
♪ la la la la la la la la ♪
2066
02:04:50,984 --> 02:04:51,775
Ooh.
2067
02:04:51,985 --> 02:04:52,985
♪ La ♪
2068
02:04:53,194 --> 02:04:55,779
♪ la-ha-ha ♪
2069
02:05:00,827 --> 02:05:04,037
♪ There was once
a shady dame from Seville ♪
2070
02:05:06,082 --> 02:05:09,293
♪ Used to wander
round the town dressed to kill ♪
2071
02:05:09,502 --> 02:05:13,005
♪ And men, if they dared,
stood and stared ♪
2072
02:05:13,214 --> 02:05:15,257
♪ When she passed their way ♪
2073
02:05:15,467 --> 02:05:17,509
♪ The lady
knocked them out ♪
2074
02:05:17,719 --> 02:05:18,927
♪ There's no doubt ♪
2075
02:05:19,137 --> 02:05:21,096
♪ 'Cause they'd shout ♪
2076
02:05:21,306 --> 02:05:23,140
♪ Ole! ♪
2077
02:05:23,349 --> 02:05:24,141
Oh, Merde.
2078
02:05:24,350 --> 02:05:26,059
♪ All day ♪
2079
02:05:29,689 --> 02:05:32,983
♪ Seville isn't that much
to shout about ♪
2080
02:05:33,193 --> 02:05:35,527
♪ But when she was out ♪
2081
02:05:35,737 --> 02:05:37,863
♪ Traffic stood still ♪
2082
02:05:38,072 --> 02:05:39,364
By god, you did it.
2083
02:05:39,532 --> 02:05:41,783
♪ Dressed like a vamp ♪
2084
02:05:41,993 --> 02:05:43,869
♪ Or a Pamplona tramp ♪
2085
02:05:44,078 --> 02:05:45,329
Ah!
2086
02:05:46,998 --> 02:05:48,332
♪ At will... ♪
2087
02:06:06,726 --> 02:06:10,103
Monsieur Labisse, my bill.
2088
02:06:39,342 --> 02:06:41,051
Where the hell am I?
2089
02:06:51,563 --> 02:06:53,730
Oh, you bastard!
2090
02:07:03,283 --> 02:07:07,995
♪ The rest of the tale's
not a pretty one ♪
2091
02:07:08,204 --> 02:07:11,832
♪ Pity one isn't for sale ♪
2092
02:07:13,418 --> 02:07:17,170
♪ Only two ears
and a tail ♪
2093
02:07:17,380 --> 02:07:21,925
♪ Did they find by the blind
on her sill ♪
2094
02:07:23,136 --> 02:07:26,763
♪ No one knows what became ♪
2095
02:07:28,474 --> 02:07:31,351
♪ Of the shady ♪
2096
02:07:31,561 --> 02:07:33,353
♪ Dame ♪
2097
02:07:35,106 --> 02:07:37,524
Oh, yes...
2098
02:07:37,734 --> 02:07:39,443
Some hit show!
2099
02:07:43,656 --> 02:07:46,575
♪ Ha-ha-ha
ha-ha-ha ♪
2100
02:07:46,784 --> 02:07:48,744
Is that it?
2101
02:07:48,953 --> 02:07:50,495
♪ La-ha-ha-ha-ha ♪
2102
02:07:50,705 --> 02:07:53,332
♪ Ah-ha-ha-ha ♪
2103
02:07:53,541 --> 02:07:55,334
♪ la-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha ♪
2104
02:07:55,543 --> 02:07:57,753
♪ Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha ♪
2105
02:07:57,962 --> 02:08:00,130
♪ Ha-ha-ha ♪
2106
02:08:00,340 --> 02:08:01,757
♪ Eee ♪
2107
02:08:01,966 --> 02:08:05,469
♪ Eee ♪
2108
02:08:07,597 --> 02:08:11,224
♪ Lo-ho-ho-ho-ho
ho-ho-ho-ho ♪
2109
02:08:13,144 --> 02:08:16,146
♪ The shady daaa... ♪
2110
02:08:16,356 --> 02:08:18,774
♪ Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay ♪
2111
02:08:23,863 --> 02:08:25,155
You bitches.
2112
02:08:28,326 --> 02:08:31,912
♪ A-a-a-a-a-ame ♪
2113
02:08:32,121 --> 02:08:35,332
♪ From sev... ♪
2114
02:08:42,548 --> 02:08:44,466
¡Ole!
Ole!
2115
02:08:56,396 --> 02:08:59,356
Bravo!
2116
02:08:59,565 --> 02:09:02,025
Ha ha ha!
2117
02:09:05,738 --> 02:09:08,699
Bravo!
2118
02:09:14,330 --> 02:09:15,455
Bravo!
2119
02:09:22,088 --> 02:09:24,214
You were marvelous...
2120
02:09:24,424 --> 02:09:27,300
And I never want
to see any of you again.
2121
02:09:28,344 --> 02:09:29,886
Aah!
2122
02:09:30,096 --> 02:09:31,930
I might as well.
2123
02:09:32,140 --> 02:09:34,891
They're the last roses
I'll ever see.
2124
02:09:38,938 --> 02:09:40,856
Vous.
138498
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