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♪ Serene music playing ♪
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I'm not a chicken.
You're a turkey.
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This is your brain on drugs.
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You gotta say no.
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America, the not‐so‐distant future.
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The economy is failing.
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A despondent society has turned
to self‐medication.
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Road fatalities, crime,
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public disturbance, voice theft
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all at record highs.
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Just say no.
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Something needed to be done.
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Congress bravely votes to establish
a modern day Prohibition.
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Zero tolerance policy was adopted.
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Overnight, the use, sale,
and manufacturing of all alcohol
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and narcotics of any kind became illegal.
17
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Soon to emerge was
a better, sober America.
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Inebriation, once viewed
as socially appropriate,
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was now taboo,
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with just one exception.
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Once a year, the embargo is lifted.
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Narcotics once confiscated by police
are distributed to the highest bidder.
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For 12 hours every year,
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US citizens 18 and up are legally allowed
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to participate in bill A2904,
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known colloquially as simply.
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"The Binge."
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♪ The Real McKenzies' Chip playing ♪
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God bless America.
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♪ Chip worked as a boatwright
as his father and his gran ♪
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♪ A‐working in a boat yard
building on the River Thames ♪
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Studies show that providing this outlet
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to the populace just once a year
would combat their urge
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to indulge thereafter.
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00:02:28,918 --> 00:02:32,750
In fact only 23 percent of citizens
attempt a second binge.
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For a third, this number plummets
to just six percent.
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Psychologists predict this mechanism
may annihilate
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all clinical addiction by 2055.
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Whether or not you choose to participate
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or are merely an innocent bystander,
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no one is left unaffected by The Binge.
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Good morning, American High.
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Flaming Eagles, I can't hear you!
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As I said Flaming Eagles,
I can't hear you!
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For you seniors that are 18,
in T minus nine hours,
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you will be able to participate
in your very first Binge!
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We're gonna get so fucked tonight!
48
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Hags, you really gotta calm down, man,
you're gonna pull something.
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Guys, I only got two hobbies.
Only two things I really spend my time on.
50
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That's my woodworking, my elves,
and that's making hummus.
51
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And the other thing I do is protect
the reputation of American High.
52
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My mom told me she used
to drink wine from a box
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on the way home from work in college.
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Ugh! We were born, like, way too late.
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I can't control what you do out there,
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but I can make a suggestion
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as a concerned citizen and a mentor
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and give you some pretty good reasons
why we don't want you to Binge.
59
00:03:58,542 --> 00:04:00,527
We've been prepping for this night
our entire lives.
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00:04:00,542 --> 00:04:03,568
I would fucking murder anyone
who gets in our way.
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00:04:03,583 --> 00:04:07,027
Now unfortunately for those of you
that do decide to Binge tonight,
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all the regular laws,
well, those are still in place,
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00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:12,735
and breaking those laws have consequences.
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Yeah, consequences like you playing
penis Jenga with his daughter!
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Will you be quiet?
Lena almost heard you say penis Jenga.
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00:04:18,417 --> 00:04:21,250
Oh, I'm sorry, Lena almost heard me
say penis Jenga!
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Hi, Lena.
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00:04:24,458 --> 00:04:26,277
See, bro, you gotta get her attention!
I know.
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00:04:26,292 --> 00:04:29,235
I'm working on it. You just...
You gotta let me do it my way, you know.
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By writing a confusing sonnet?
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It's not a sonnet,
it's a series of haikus,
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and I'm asking her to prom today.
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00:04:34,667 --> 00:04:37,467
Yeah, okay, you've been saying that
every day for the past five months.
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Well, tonight we Binge.
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00:04:39,625 --> 00:04:41,652
I'm gonna get you drunk enough
to finally make your move.
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Yeah, except there's no way
Lena's Binge‐ing,
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and if Carlsen found out I binged,
that'll be it.
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00:04:45,375 --> 00:04:46,652
He would never let me near Lena again.
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00:04:46,667 --> 00:04:49,152
You know, Amy Bagman thought
it was rite of passage.
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00:04:49,167 --> 00:04:50,235
She binged.
81
00:04:50,250 --> 00:04:52,958
And then a couple of uppers and downers
and siders into it
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she found herself on a private jet
with 12 "Saudi princes."
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Never to be heard from again.
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00:04:57,458 --> 00:04:59,193
- Oh shit!
- Now, is she alive today?
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00:04:59,208 --> 00:05:01,277
Is she dead?
Is she even worse off than that?
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00:05:01,292 --> 00:05:03,375
Even her family can't answer
that question.
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00:05:04,417 --> 00:05:05,527
Sad.
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00:05:05,542 --> 00:05:06,667
That's really what you want?
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To be on a private jet?
Abso‐fucking‐lutely!
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00:05:10,958 --> 00:05:12,485
One day, you'll have no one.
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All you'll have left is the memories.
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00:05:14,708 --> 00:05:16,108
So you gotta make your life matter.
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Let me assure you,
I will spend...
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Nothing matters.
95
00:05:21,792 --> 00:05:23,693
Then there was Allen Reed
who was excited
96
00:05:23,708 --> 00:05:25,277
about getting accepted into Stanford
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00:05:25,292 --> 00:05:27,568
until he was caught doing
the Brazilian tuck
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outside a TJ MAXX.
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00:05:29,542 --> 00:05:31,417
Yeah, laugh it up. It's fun, right?
100
00:05:32,958 --> 00:05:34,610
Maybe your name's Kimberly Jones?
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00:05:34,625 --> 00:05:35,652
Oh! There's my setup.
102
00:05:35,667 --> 00:05:37,277
Please don't say "I'll have
what she's having." Don't say that.
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I have to say it,
because it's hilarious.
104
00:05:38,708 --> 00:05:39,569
It's not hilarious...
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00:05:39,584 --> 00:05:41,544
It is hilarious, brother.
We went over this, okay.
106
00:05:42,250 --> 00:05:43,568
Make everyone in the assembly laugh,
107
00:05:43,583 --> 00:05:46,277
then we win the Gauntlet tonight
at the Library Party.
108
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You fellas need wristbands
for the Library Party tonight?
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We got some.
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But the jet‐ski was still attached
to the dock, and it never took off.
111
00:05:55,708 --> 00:05:57,750
And then eventually
it exploded into flames.
112
00:05:59,542 --> 00:06:00,860
Now, Kimberly Jones is here tonight.
113
00:06:00,875 --> 00:06:02,943
Can you guys guess which one she is?
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I'll give you a hint. You're cold, cold.
115
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Getting warmer, getting warmer, red hot.
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Burning hot. That's Kimberly Jones.
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Wrapped up like a mummy because
she's ashamed of the way she looks.
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She works here at the high school.
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She makes the butterscotch pudding,
and she does a wonderful job.
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00:06:14,833 --> 00:06:15,611
We're proud of you, Kim.
121
00:06:15,626 --> 00:06:18,402
And she's never really
allowed up before lunch
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00:06:18,417 --> 00:06:21,735
because again, she's disgusting
and revolting to look at,
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and it'll make your stomach churn
and make you unable to eat.
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And on that note,
please stop emailing me, Kim,
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about the Fantas in the mini‐fridge.
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I'm gonna explode.
I've said it to you six times.
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I wanna treat you like a lady today,
in front of everybody.
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'Cause you are one.
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00:06:34,750 --> 00:06:38,152
I'd like to see everyone here go on
and have a bright future
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00:06:38,167 --> 00:06:41,708
and not end up...
like some of the people that we've seen
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in front of us here today.
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I'll have what she's having!
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What?
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You'll have what who's having?
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00:06:54,667 --> 00:06:55,569
Fucking dork.
136
00:06:55,584 --> 00:06:57,277
You'll have what
this burn victim's having?
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Are you drawing attention
to the burn victim?
138
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:00,777
Kimberly Jones, who was tweaking
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00:07:00,792 --> 00:07:03,333
and got burned from her face to her feet?
140
00:07:03,792 --> 00:07:05,193
And how do you think it makes
a burn victim feel
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00:07:05,208 --> 00:07:06,860
when you single 'em out
in front of everybody?
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Kim, how's it make you feel?
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Does it make you this?
Does it make you happy?
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Right? Or does it make you this?
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00:07:14,458 --> 00:07:15,625
I feel sad too.
146
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I feel sad for Kim.
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00:07:17,875 --> 00:07:20,152
Sit down. You got
30 minute detention on Tuesday.
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You're gonna learn some empathy.
I'm gonna have you read
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about circus freaks, deformed people,
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00:07:23,167 --> 00:07:25,818
and people with the kind of burns
that she has, how repulsive it is,
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- and how hard it is to live with it.
- Oh my god.
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You'll get 'em next time, buddy.
Oh my god.
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Any questions?
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Can I get a cawww!
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Caw!
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Can I get a cawww!
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Cawww!
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Let's go learn.
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My uncle said his friend would do,
like, a handstand
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on a barrel of beer until he choked.
161
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Yeah. It's called a keg stand.
162
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What's a keg?
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Man, did I misread the room.
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Oh, I thought it was funny.
165
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Thank you, Andrew,
but I don't need your sympathies.
166
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I was just rejected by my peers,
and I'm in a bit of a fragile state.
167
00:08:00,375 --> 00:08:02,818
I heard if you do Molly
and drink a Mountain Dew,
168
00:08:02,833 --> 00:08:06,110
you start to see the future,
but it doesn't even pertain to you at all.
169
00:08:06,125 --> 00:08:06,903
Really?
Yeah.
170
00:08:06,918 --> 00:08:09,860
My older cousin saw
some random dude in Wisconsin's future.
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Other Man's Future Syndrome. Sick.
172
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I don't know, man. I worked
really hard to get into Brown.
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Man, fuck college! What is this,
the '90s? We have the internet.
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Even if I wanted to go,
our parents will never let us
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skip out on their tradition.
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Look, Griffin.
I love our parents, right. I do.
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But I'm not spending another Binge
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at "Soda‐Pop Game Night"
doing the Root Beer Goat.
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I won't do it.
180
00:08:29,333 --> 00:08:31,818
What are you wearing?
You look like my bubbe's couch.
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Okay, see, you know nothing
about style, right.
182
00:08:34,500 --> 00:08:36,735
You don't. Which is why I took the liberty
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of getting you
your very first Gauntlet outfit.
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Here we go.
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Overalls, baby. Happy Binge, pal!
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- FBF?
- Mm‐hmm.
187
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First Binge forever!
188
00:08:47,500 --> 00:08:50,235
Hags, I'm not Binge‐ing, man.
I'm definitely not wearing overalls.
189
00:08:50,250 --> 00:08:52,985
Please take them back. Please.
Okay, see, you are Binge‐ing,
190
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:55,068
and overalls are chick magnets, man.
191
00:08:55,083 --> 00:08:56,777
They say if you keep it tight up top,
192
00:08:56,792 --> 00:08:58,360
below the waist, it's anyone's guess.
193
00:08:58,375 --> 00:09:00,110
Who says that?
Who says that about overalls?
194
00:09:00,125 --> 00:09:02,068
I do. And Lena's gonna love 'em!
195
00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:04,152
I heard if you eat mushrooms
and sacrifice an animal,
196
00:09:04,167 --> 00:09:06,125
your entire world turns into a musical.
197
00:09:07,792 --> 00:09:09,985
There's no way that's true, Kathleen.
198
00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:11,485
Is that how you wanna end up?
199
00:09:11,500 --> 00:09:13,360
Hey hey, ho ho...
200
00:09:13,375 --> 00:09:14,985
Hell yeah, man, we can beat that.
201
00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:18,068
When we win the Gauntlet tonight,
I want our names to be etched in stone.
202
00:09:18,083 --> 00:09:18,944
Will you put that away?
203
00:09:18,959 --> 00:09:21,693
Principal Carlsen's gonna see it,
and there goes any shot I had with Lena.
204
00:09:21,708 --> 00:09:23,193
Who gives a fuck, Griffin?
205
00:09:23,208 --> 00:09:24,985
You think he'd want some scared kiss‐ass
206
00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:27,860
who volunteers to clean up shits
in the chem lab date his daughter?
207
00:09:27,875 --> 00:09:29,667
No! He wants a man!
208
00:09:30,542 --> 00:09:32,222
Come on now.
Gotta you show you the closer.
209
00:09:33,292 --> 00:09:33,944
The closer?
210
00:09:33,959 --> 00:09:36,360
So you know my senior shop project
I told you I was working on?
211
00:09:36,375 --> 00:09:38,360
Yeah, man, the one you had
the GoFundMe for
212
00:09:38,375 --> 00:09:40,277
when you were building
the reusable hydration systems
213
00:09:40,292 --> 00:09:41,236
for third world countries.
214
00:09:41,251 --> 00:09:42,902
I was really proud of you for doing that.
215
00:09:42,917 --> 00:09:45,818
Yeah, man, fuck hydration. I lied.
I put that money to much better use.
216
00:09:45,833 --> 00:09:47,485
I donated $75.
217
00:09:47,500 --> 00:09:50,818
Griffin, I give to you the most
important invention since the toilet,
218
00:09:50,833 --> 00:09:52,542
The BoozeCycle!
219
00:09:53,250 --> 00:09:55,985
Whoa, man. You built this?
Yeah, man.
220
00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:57,777
This is awesome.
221
00:09:57,792 --> 00:09:58,694
Isn't it great?
222
00:09:58,709 --> 00:10:01,110
Imagine if you put your mind
to something useful.
223
00:10:01,125 --> 00:10:03,777
Useful? This is the most
useful thing I've ever done.
224
00:10:03,792 --> 00:10:06,068
Is it a car? Kind of.
225
00:10:06,083 --> 00:10:08,152
Is it a bicycle? Almost.
226
00:10:08,167 --> 00:10:09,777
Griffin, this thing fucks!
227
00:10:09,792 --> 00:10:11,568
I mean, it does. It's really cool.
228
00:10:11,583 --> 00:10:14,667
It's just, how would we even pedal it
with two people? There's ten seats.
229
00:10:16,375 --> 00:10:18,318
Hey, why you gotta be so negative, bro?
230
00:10:18,333 --> 00:10:21,777
And El Pantera, that's just a myth.
Like Santa Claus.
231
00:10:21,792 --> 00:10:24,193
You know what , man. I'm sorry.
I don't mean to be a Debbie downer.
232
00:10:24,208 --> 00:10:27,527
I'm just‐I'm nervous, you know.
Aren't you scared? Like, at all?
233
00:10:27,542 --> 00:10:29,527
Scared of what? Becoming a legend?
234
00:10:29,542 --> 00:10:31,610
No, of just‐I don't know. Everything.
235
00:10:31,625 --> 00:10:33,943
Lena, Carlsen, alcohol poisoning,
236
00:10:33,958 --> 00:10:35,860
our lives turning into a musical.
237
00:10:35,875 --> 00:10:36,694
That sounds terrible.
238
00:10:36,709 --> 00:10:39,777
Griffin, we'll be fine. I'll be
with you every step of the way.
239
00:10:39,792 --> 00:10:40,860
That's what I'm scared about.
240
00:10:40,875 --> 00:10:42,693
Ha ha. Oh, okay, you make jokes,
241
00:10:42,708 --> 00:10:44,277
but you don't realize that
I'm a human, with emotion,
242
00:10:44,292 --> 00:10:45,278
and it hurts my feelings.
243
00:10:45,293 --> 00:10:47,068
I love you, okay. I really do.
244
00:10:47,083 --> 00:10:48,985
And I appreciate you
getting me a wristband
245
00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:51,193
and stealing from all those people
who desperately need clean water
246
00:10:51,208 --> 00:10:52,235
to build a BoozeCycle...
247
00:10:52,250 --> 00:10:53,277
Which is awesome.
It is,
248
00:10:53,292 --> 00:10:54,943
but I'm just gonna stick to tradition,
249
00:10:54,958 --> 00:10:57,610
do Root Beer Goat‐Night with our parents,
and wake up tomorrow
250
00:10:57,625 --> 00:11:00,318
to continue my extended reign
as mayor of Virgin City.
251
00:11:00,333 --> 00:11:01,708
Good to know, Mr. Mayor!
252
00:11:02,250 --> 00:11:03,943
Lena! Hey.
253
00:11:03,958 --> 00:11:05,735
Lena, please don't call him Mr. Mayor.
254
00:11:05,750 --> 00:11:07,068
Mr. Mayor is his father.
255
00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:09,652
I like to refer to my brother here
AS BABE: Pig In The City.
256
00:11:09,667 --> 00:11:11,818
Hmm. Because he's got
the thickest hog in the game.
257
00:11:11,833 --> 00:11:12,361
That's not...
258
00:11:12,376 --> 00:11:14,360
I've never once heard anyone
refer to him as Babe,
259
00:11:14,375 --> 00:11:15,860
and I've known him since preschool.
260
00:11:15,875 --> 00:11:17,985
That's 'cause they whisper it to him.
They don't do that.
261
00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:18,819
They don't whisper anything.
262
00:11:18,834 --> 00:11:22,068
So, you whisper "Babe"
into Griffin's ear
263
00:11:22,083 --> 00:11:24,083
because he has
the thickest hog in the game?
264
00:11:26,500 --> 00:11:29,250
Okay, Lena. This is weird now.
Right? So I'm gonna go.
265
00:11:30,333 --> 00:11:32,708
Lena. Babe.
266
00:11:35,750 --> 00:11:37,000
I have a normal‐sized hog,
267
00:11:37,375 --> 00:11:39,485
probably no different than the next one.
268
00:11:39,500 --> 00:11:40,985
Not that I've seen,
269
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:45,402
uh, but naturally you do find yourself
in positions where you see other hogs
270
00:11:45,417 --> 00:11:47,625
and in those situations, I found that...
271
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:49,333
my hog is...
272
00:11:50,250 --> 00:11:52,042
comparable, if not the same
273
00:11:52,583 --> 00:11:53,875
in thickness to those...
274
00:11:54,250 --> 00:11:55,500
That's good to know.
275
00:11:56,417 --> 00:11:59,708
Um... so are you gonna Binge?
276
00:12:00,417 --> 00:12:02,027
After your dad's speech?
277
00:12:02,042 --> 00:12:04,318
You'd have to be a certified dip‐shit
to go out tonight.
278
00:12:04,333 --> 00:12:06,527
Well, I guess I'm the mayor
of Dip‐Shit City
279
00:12:06,542 --> 00:12:08,708
'cause I'm seriously thinking about it.
280
00:12:09,333 --> 00:12:10,360
Me too, by the way.
281
00:12:10,375 --> 00:12:13,417
I was completely joking before
about the dip‐shit thing. That's...
282
00:12:14,083 --> 00:12:15,167
But, um...
283
00:12:17,125 --> 00:12:18,985
Griff, is everything okay?
284
00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:20,375
It is. Uh...
285
00:12:23,208 --> 00:12:25,360
You know how our moms used
to go to Zumba class together?
286
00:12:25,375 --> 00:12:28,943
Yeah! Yeah, we used to play
fake house in the kid's room.
287
00:12:28,958 --> 00:12:32,485
To this day, no one makes
fake French toast as good as you.
288
00:12:32,500 --> 00:12:35,777
And no one did our fake taxes for
our fake mortgage better than you, so...
289
00:12:35,792 --> 00:12:37,032
And now we're fake home owners!
290
00:12:37,333 --> 00:12:39,277
That fake debt collector
won't stop hounding me!
291
00:12:41,458 --> 00:12:44,152
Um, anyways, I was just thinking how
292
00:12:44,167 --> 00:12:45,402
we've always been in each other's lives.
293
00:12:45,417 --> 00:12:47,735
Yeah.
And, um,
294
00:12:47,750 --> 00:12:48,830
Lena, I was wondering if...
295
00:12:49,875 --> 00:12:50,778
Oh my god!
296
00:12:50,793 --> 00:12:52,318
What is this?
297
00:12:52,333 --> 00:12:54,693
"This promposal you can't ignore,
298
00:12:54,708 --> 00:12:56,068
"because there's still so much more.
299
00:12:56,083 --> 00:12:57,860
"Let's laugh and be merry,
because the next clue you'll find
300
00:12:57,875 --> 00:12:58,902
"at the Carnegie Library!
301
00:12:58,917 --> 00:13:01,235
Here's hoping you will attend,
and while you're at it, bring a friend!"
302
00:13:01,250 --> 00:13:02,292
Holy shit!
303
00:13:02,875 --> 00:13:05,667
Griffin, did you do this?
304
00:13:06,208 --> 00:13:07,208
Um...
305
00:13:08,417 --> 00:13:09,777
Are you kidding me? Oh my god!
306
00:13:09,792 --> 00:13:11,235
When did this happen
and why didn't you tell me?
307
00:13:11,250 --> 00:13:14,235
No, no, no, it is happening right now.
You are witnessing it.
308
00:13:14,250 --> 00:13:15,610
This is awesome.
Who do you think did it?
309
00:13:15,625 --> 00:13:18,027
I don't know! Um, Max Keiser?
310
00:13:18,042 --> 00:13:19,402
Maybe it was Ian Greenstein?
311
00:13:19,417 --> 00:13:20,860
Ian Greenstein? Yeah, he...
312
00:13:20,875 --> 00:13:22,693
He liked your tweet 18 months ago
like a total creep.
313
00:13:22,708 --> 00:13:24,152
I bet it's Ian Greenstein.
So many guys!
314
00:13:24,167 --> 00:13:25,542
I know!
Exciting.
315
00:13:25,917 --> 00:13:28,777
Holy shit! This is huge. They sold out
for this, like, six months ago.
316
00:13:28,792 --> 00:13:31,860
Griffin, would you be
the ultimate friend and take a pic?
317
00:13:31,875 --> 00:13:32,819
Totally.
Thank you!
318
00:13:32,834 --> 00:13:34,208
Yeah, I can do that.
Thank you!
319
00:13:35,250 --> 00:13:36,860
Say "Ian Greenstein.'"
320
00:13:36,875 --> 00:13:38,527
Ian Greenstein!
321
00:13:38,542 --> 00:13:39,777
You guys are gonna really like that.
322
00:13:39,792 --> 00:13:41,125
Thank you so much.
Of course.
323
00:13:42,583 --> 00:13:44,708
- So that's‐So...
- Okay, bye, Griffin.
324
00:13:45,375 --> 00:13:46,695
Who do you think did this?
325
00:13:52,500 --> 00:13:54,277
The package
is basically fully stocked
326
00:13:54,292 --> 00:13:56,860
with, like, colorful frozen drinks
and tiny umbrellas.
327
00:13:56,875 --> 00:13:58,568
I fucking love tiny umbrellas.
328
00:13:58,583 --> 00:14:00,318
Do you think pink drinks, too, because.
329
00:14:00,333 --> 00:14:02,985
My grandmother's seen
this show, it's called Sex and the City,
330
00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:06,402
and they would just drink pink alcohol
and have meaningless sex
331
00:14:06,417 --> 00:14:08,818
with strangers of foreign descent.
332
00:14:08,833 --> 00:14:10,818
I would do disgusting things
to a foreign guy tonight.
333
00:14:10,833 --> 00:14:12,500
Hmm.
I'm talking full spit roast.
334
00:14:15,958 --> 00:14:17,152
Oh my god, I'm so sorry.
335
00:14:17,167 --> 00:14:18,777
Hags, what the hell is wrong with you?
336
00:14:18,792 --> 00:14:22,610
I'm so sorry, I just dropped my passport
somewhere around here earlier today.
337
00:14:22,625 --> 00:14:25,585
I'm just trying to get right back
to the motherland right after I graduate.
338
00:14:26,542 --> 00:14:27,583
What?
339
00:14:28,417 --> 00:14:29,361
Oh, my homeland.
340
00:14:29,376 --> 00:14:30,943
You know I'm
a hundred percent foreign, right?
341
00:14:30,958 --> 00:14:32,000
Like, from another place.
342
00:14:32,917 --> 00:14:37,110
Ha ha. Anyhoo, will I be seeing
you ladies at the Library Party tonight?
343
00:14:37,125 --> 00:14:38,902
You're going to the Library Party?
344
00:14:38,917 --> 00:14:40,777
Hell yeah I'm going
to the Library Party.
345
00:14:40,792 --> 00:14:42,958
And I'm hoping that you'll check me out.
346
00:14:43,333 --> 00:14:44,902
For what purpose?
Excuse me.
347
00:14:44,917 --> 00:14:46,708
Uh, isn't that a saying?
348
00:14:47,083 --> 00:14:49,292
No, it's not.
Words have consequences, Hags.
349
00:14:49,958 --> 00:14:52,027
Okay, that's what it is.
It's the language barrier thing.
350
00:14:52,042 --> 00:14:53,568
That's what... that's what it was.
351
00:14:53,583 --> 00:14:56,292
Because I'm from another place.
I'm fully foreign.
352
00:14:57,208 --> 00:14:58,693
Have you ever even been on a plane?
353
00:14:58,708 --> 00:15:00,568
Hell yeah I've been on a plane.
354
00:15:00,583 --> 00:15:02,000
Ha ha. Of course.
355
00:15:02,500 --> 00:15:04,818
I'm actually a current cardholder
of the mile high club.
356
00:15:04,833 --> 00:15:06,500
Oh yeah?
And the big dick club.
357
00:15:07,083 --> 00:15:08,485
- Really?
- Mm‐hmm.
358
00:15:08,500 --> 00:15:09,943
Well, why don't you whip it out
and show us?
359
00:15:09,958 --> 00:15:11,833
Mmm. You see, I would,
360
00:15:12,833 --> 00:15:15,068
but they keep the band room real cold.
361
00:15:15,083 --> 00:15:17,277
It's not really a accurate depiction
of my genitalia.
362
00:15:17,292 --> 00:15:18,027
Hmm.
363
00:15:18,042 --> 00:15:18,903
That's what I thought.
364
00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:20,068
Virgin.
365
00:15:20,083 --> 00:15:21,833
This is dry.
Okay.
366
00:15:23,917 --> 00:15:25,208
Chad, how are we?
367
00:15:25,625 --> 00:15:27,318
Kurt, how come I never see you
with your shorts off?
368
00:15:27,333 --> 00:15:28,735
- Seem a little locker room shy.
- S‐Sir...
369
00:15:28,750 --> 00:15:30,068
Wanna see how a man walks around
the locker room?
370
00:15:30,083 --> 00:15:31,485
Um...
Wanna take a look at it?
371
00:15:31,500 --> 00:15:33,818
I'll pull my pants down, I'll go take
a shit, I'll get in the shower.
372
00:15:33,833 --> 00:15:34,569
You wanna watch it?
373
00:15:34,584 --> 00:15:37,318
Whatever it is, get comfortable with it.
It ain't going away.
374
00:15:37,333 --> 00:15:39,110
Let's get behind those ears,
okay, Bennett?
375
00:15:39,125 --> 00:15:40,777
Yes, sir. That's where
the germs live and they reproduce.
376
00:15:40,792 --> 00:15:42,112
Got it.
Don't be a pussy.
377
00:15:42,250 --> 00:15:43,902
Chin up. Griffin, my man, how are you?
378
00:15:43,917 --> 00:15:44,943
How's it going, Principal Carlsen?
379
00:15:44,958 --> 00:15:47,652
Well, I'm always a little bit on edge
when it comes to Binge night,
380
00:15:47,667 --> 00:15:49,610
people get pushed to their moral limits.
Me too.
381
00:15:49,625 --> 00:15:51,375
I, I can't believe people Binge.
382
00:15:51,833 --> 00:15:53,235
One shake and you're done, Tommy!
383
00:15:53,250 --> 00:15:54,860
No one wants to watch
your dickplay in here.
384
00:15:54,875 --> 00:15:57,652
At your age, you're a hair‐trigger.
You're liable to blow all over the place.
385
00:15:57,667 --> 00:16:00,187
Have a story about you for the rest
of your life. You want that?
386
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:02,110
Put the dick down.
387
00:16:02,125 --> 00:16:03,028
Okay.
388
00:16:03,043 --> 00:16:05,875
You know, Griffin, uh, Lena says
some really nice things about you.
389
00:16:06,542 --> 00:16:07,111
She does?
390
00:16:07,126 --> 00:16:09,235
Yeah. She says that you're nice,
that you work hard,
391
00:16:09,250 --> 00:16:11,667
that you have
pretty terrific table manners.
392
00:16:12,083 --> 00:16:13,667
You know, I'll tell you, Griff,
393
00:16:14,125 --> 00:16:17,568
I'm pretty okay
with... my daughter being friends
394
00:16:17,583 --> 00:16:19,417
with a nice Brown man.
395
00:16:21,333 --> 00:16:22,933
Let me walk that back just a little bit.
396
00:16:23,167 --> 00:16:25,792
That's not the kind of quote
that you want taken out of context.
397
00:16:27,667 --> 00:16:30,277
Congratulations on getting into
a great university, Brown.
398
00:16:30,292 --> 00:16:32,943
Thank you, sir. And thank you again
for making that call to Dean Eckhouse.
399
00:16:32,958 --> 00:16:33,985
It really made all the difference.
400
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:36,402
Well, Griff, you know,
when you have a history of
401
00:16:36,417 --> 00:16:38,443
recommending
outstanding guys, like yourself,
402
00:16:38,458 --> 00:16:40,042
they tend to listen to you.
403
00:16:40,292 --> 00:16:42,860
And by the same token, if you ask them
to rescind someone they're thinking about,
404
00:16:42,875 --> 00:16:45,275
they go ahead and they listen loud
and clear on that as well.
405
00:16:47,250 --> 00:16:49,527
Since we're talking
about scratching each other's backs,
406
00:16:49,542 --> 00:16:51,527
I have just the smallest little itch
407
00:16:51,542 --> 00:16:53,485
I was wondering if you could get
your fingernails on.
408
00:16:53,500 --> 00:16:56,610
It's called where the fuck
is the party tonight?
409
00:16:56,625 --> 00:17:00,860
Sarah Martin's "Dank‐Ass Pre‐Game"
is already on my radar.
410
00:17:00,875 --> 00:17:03,360
I understand they're thinking
of smoking a little bit of pot.
411
00:17:03,375 --> 00:17:05,610
Maybe some Lean? A little Purple Drank.
412
00:17:05,625 --> 00:17:07,360
You know what I'm talking about?
Oh, I do, but I wouldn't.
413
00:17:07,375 --> 00:17:10,360
I personally wouldn't sniff glue
or drink Purple Drank
414
00:17:10,375 --> 00:17:12,027
or just associate
with Sarah Martin at all.
415
00:17:12,042 --> 00:17:12,778
Well, that's good.
416
00:17:12,793 --> 00:17:14,193
That bitch has chaotic energy.
417
00:17:14,208 --> 00:17:15,792
She's like a scorpion in a toaster.
418
00:17:18,417 --> 00:17:20,402
Anyway, the point is
if you hear of anything...
419
00:17:20,417 --> 00:17:21,417
Of course.
420
00:17:21,875 --> 00:17:23,000
Fair?
Totally fair.
421
00:17:23,792 --> 00:17:25,860
Fair?
Fair. Very fair.
422
00:17:27,125 --> 00:17:28,208
The hell is...
423
00:17:32,542 --> 00:17:35,000
Principal Carlsen, I‐Um...
424
00:17:35,500 --> 00:17:38,068
It's a funny story, I‐Uh...
425
00:17:38,083 --> 00:17:40,375
I...
Oh.
426
00:17:41,333 --> 00:17:44,902
Oh. Actually, Principal Carlsen,
that's not Griffin's.
427
00:17:44,917 --> 00:17:46,318
No, see, I found that in the hallway,
428
00:17:46,333 --> 00:17:48,485
and I gave it to Griffin
to hold onto it for me.
429
00:17:48,500 --> 00:17:50,402
Yeah, I just had no idea what it was.
430
00:17:50,417 --> 00:17:53,000
Could it be tickets
to a renaissance fair or...
431
00:17:53,667 --> 00:17:54,667
a petting zoo.
432
00:17:56,750 --> 00:17:57,818
Yeah.
433
00:17:57,833 --> 00:17:59,152
You gentlemen be safe tonight.
434
00:17:59,167 --> 00:18:00,167
Yes, sir.
435
00:18:00,333 --> 00:18:01,542
And Hags, do me a favor.
436
00:18:02,458 --> 00:18:04,693
Try to find a nickname
that's a little bit more normal.
437
00:18:04,708 --> 00:18:06,375
Something like Lucas or Quan.
438
00:18:07,750 --> 00:18:09,152
I'll see you Tuesday? Thirty minutes?
439
00:18:09,167 --> 00:18:11,125
Thank you, Quan. Griff.
440
00:18:13,542 --> 00:18:15,193
David, thank your brother
for the meatloaf.
441
00:18:15,208 --> 00:18:16,208
Yes, sir.
442
00:18:16,583 --> 00:18:17,902
Whoa, thank Christ.
443
00:18:17,917 --> 00:18:18,778
Oh, Griffin?
Yup.
444
00:18:18,793 --> 00:18:20,985
You know, there's a prank turd
in the chemistry lab.
445
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:23,568
I was wondering if you could be an angel,
sweep in and scoop that up.
446
00:18:23,583 --> 00:18:24,583
I would love to do that.
447
00:18:25,500 --> 00:18:26,500
Thank you, Quan.
448
00:18:32,125 --> 00:18:34,402
Fuck! Quan?
449
00:18:34,417 --> 00:18:35,860
Who the fuck is Quan?
450
00:18:38,042 --> 00:18:40,902
And so it begins.
451
00:18:40,917 --> 00:18:44,027
As school lets out, sirens pierce the air,
452
00:18:44,042 --> 00:18:47,985
Informing the civilian population
of what's to come.
453
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:50,402
For some, a warning.
454
00:18:50,417 --> 00:18:53,027
To those not participating, to get home,
455
00:18:53,042 --> 00:18:56,208
bunker down, and pray for safety.
456
00:18:56,583 --> 00:18:59,568
For others, it's the sound of celebration,
457
00:18:59,583 --> 00:19:01,667
excess, freedom.
458
00:19:02,708 --> 00:19:05,527
Underground competitions
known as Gauntlets
459
00:19:05,542 --> 00:19:07,375
capture the nation's attention.
460
00:19:07,833 --> 00:19:10,943
Creating local legends in those who win
461
00:19:10,958 --> 00:19:14,402
and lasting memories for all who compete.
462
00:19:14,417 --> 00:19:16,568
Ten, nine
463
00:19:16,583 --> 00:19:18,902
eight, seven, six,
464
00:19:18,917 --> 00:19:21,152
five, four,
465
00:19:21,167 --> 00:19:23,860
three, two, one!
466
00:19:23,875 --> 00:19:26,193
Yahtzee!
467
00:19:26,208 --> 00:19:27,208
Whoo!
468
00:19:27,708 --> 00:19:28,653
Yeah.
469
00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:31,860
Oh. To our sixth Binge Night Game Night!
470
00:19:31,875 --> 00:19:33,360
Yep.
What a great tradition!
471
00:19:33,375 --> 00:19:34,361
This is fun.
472
00:19:34,376 --> 00:19:36,652
It's just great being able to hang
with family on the night
473
00:19:36,667 --> 00:19:38,568
when nobody else is doing
anything awesome.
474
00:19:38,583 --> 00:19:41,985
Oh, and we are just grateful
that you boys would rather...
475
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:44,277
- Uh... men!
- Excuse me.
476
00:19:44,292 --> 00:19:46,110
That you men
477
00:19:46,125 --> 00:19:50,277
would still rather pal around
with us middle ‐ aged fogies
478
00:19:50,292 --> 00:19:53,152
than go out drinking with all
the other high school boys and girls.
479
00:19:53,167 --> 00:19:55,277
Yeah, well, makes me hopeful
for the future.
480
00:19:55,292 --> 00:19:57,458
Yep.
Well, who's ready for round two?
481
00:19:58,042 --> 00:19:58,902
Yeah.
482
00:19:58,917 --> 00:19:59,861
We don't have to do
the thing again, Dad.
483
00:19:59,876 --> 00:20:00,902
- We don't...
- Oh no, let's do it.
484
00:20:00,917 --> 00:20:02,568
Root beer goat!
Ha ha!
485
00:20:06,458 --> 00:20:08,110
Ah, somebody didn't goat.
486
00:20:08,584 --> 00:20:09,943
Well, everybody goated so I...
487
00:20:09,958 --> 00:20:11,527
Come on, son, you do the best goat.
488
00:20:11,542 --> 00:20:12,610
I do a very normal goat.
No, you...
489
00:20:12,625 --> 00:20:14,110
Come on, give us a goat!
490
00:20:14,125 --> 00:20:15,777
Give us a goat!
You're so good.
491
00:20:17,333 --> 00:20:18,777
You got it.
492
00:20:18,792 --> 00:20:19,943
This is what I'm talking about.
493
00:20:19,958 --> 00:20:21,417
That's a damn good goat!
494
00:20:22,250 --> 00:20:25,068
So, Griffin, I heard you're going to prom
with the Principal's daughter?
495
00:20:25,083 --> 00:20:26,028
- Oh.
- Prom.
496
00:20:26,043 --> 00:20:28,693
Yeah, I, I was,
but somebody else already asked.
497
00:20:29,875 --> 00:20:31,277
- That's too bad.
- I'm so sorry.
498
00:20:31,292 --> 00:20:32,443
Oh, it's okay, Ma.
499
00:20:32,458 --> 00:20:34,277
Most, most people
probably don't even remember
500
00:20:34,292 --> 00:20:35,235
who they went to prom with.
501
00:20:35,250 --> 00:20:36,069
Exactly.
502
00:20:36,084 --> 00:20:37,708
Unh‐unh, you're looking at him.
503
00:20:38,792 --> 00:20:42,235
He was so nervous when he asked me.
504
00:20:42,250 --> 00:20:44,568
He had written a little poem out
and everything.
505
00:20:44,583 --> 00:20:46,167
He didn't even end up reading it.
506
00:20:47,042 --> 00:20:48,902
Well, for what it's worth,
I always thought
507
00:20:48,917 --> 00:20:50,792
you and Lena made an adorable couple.
508
00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:52,985
Do you want me to call her father?
That's okay, Dad.
509
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:54,610
No, no, no, I'm not afraid to call him.
I am.
510
00:20:54,625 --> 00:20:55,943
You don't have to do that.
No, you shouldn't be.
511
00:20:55,958 --> 00:20:56,985
I don't think you should do that.
512
00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:58,818
- Okay. Okay.
- I appreciate that.
513
00:20:58,833 --> 00:21:01,735
Hey, everybody. What's happening here?
514
00:21:01,750 --> 00:21:02,777
Too early to fall asleep.
515
00:21:02,792 --> 00:21:05,485
I bought Big Bang Theory Clue.
516
00:21:05,500 --> 00:21:06,777
- Big Bang.
- Mm‐hmm.
517
00:21:06,792 --> 00:21:07,403
Let me get this straight,
518
00:21:07,418 --> 00:21:09,735
Sheldon... kills...
519
00:21:09,750 --> 00:21:11,292
- Penny.
- Penny.
520
00:21:11,667 --> 00:21:13,777
In the library?
521
00:21:13,792 --> 00:21:14,568
No.
The lab.
522
00:21:14,583 --> 00:21:15,583
The lab.
523
00:21:16,208 --> 00:21:19,068
With a... Galaxy 6, 6S.
524
00:21:19,083 --> 00:21:19,819
Galaxy...
525
00:21:19,834 --> 00:21:22,000
Eh, 6, Salaxy 6...
526
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:27,000
Bazinga.
527
00:21:28,333 --> 00:21:29,417
Mom. Mom?
528
00:21:29,917 --> 00:21:30,569
Dad?
529
00:21:30,584 --> 00:21:32,152
Dad? Dad? Paul?
530
00:21:32,167 --> 00:21:32,903
Stacy?
531
00:21:32,918 --> 00:21:34,735
Come on, Griffin,
let's get the hell out of here!
532
00:21:34,750 --> 00:21:36,230
What the‐Wait, what the hell is this?
533
00:21:36,292 --> 00:21:37,610
Hags, did you do something?
534
00:21:37,625 --> 00:21:40,110
No! I just gave them
a couple sleeping pills.
535
00:21:40,125 --> 00:21:41,652
You roofied our parents?
536
00:21:41,667 --> 00:21:44,735
I did not roofie our parents.
The pills were in their medicine cabinet.
537
00:21:44,750 --> 00:21:45,902
This is crazy!
Griffin!
538
00:21:45,917 --> 00:21:48,027
Your parents are spooning.
My dad is snoring.
539
00:21:48,042 --> 00:21:49,277
Mom's asleep. Let's go!
No!
540
00:21:49,292 --> 00:21:50,902
Tha‐I'm not going. I'm not leaving.
541
00:21:50,917 --> 00:21:53,027
You have a wristband, that's it, okay.
542
00:21:53,042 --> 00:21:54,042
You go without me.
543
00:21:54,708 --> 00:21:55,708
Go without you?
544
00:21:55,917 --> 00:21:57,902
Lena's gonna meet
her promposal mate there anyway.
545
00:21:57,917 --> 00:21:59,500
I don't want to witness that.
546
00:22:00,375 --> 00:22:03,068
Griffin, I was lying
when I said I wasn't scared.
547
00:22:03,083 --> 00:22:04,083
I am scared.
548
00:22:04,375 --> 00:22:06,777
But I'm not scared about
what's gonna happen tonight.
549
00:22:06,792 --> 00:22:08,792
I'm scared about
what's gonna happen after tonight.
550
00:22:09,417 --> 00:22:10,625
You're going to Brown.
551
00:22:10,958 --> 00:22:13,527
And I'm gonna be stuck here
working at Chuck E. Cheese.
552
00:22:13,542 --> 00:22:14,958
And that's life, Griff.
553
00:22:15,375 --> 00:22:19,610
Look, you go and you beat that
Dr. Seuss promposal asshole to the punch.
554
00:22:19,625 --> 00:22:21,027
You look Lena in the eyes and tell her
555
00:22:21,042 --> 00:22:23,417
exactly what you've wanted
to tell her your entire life.
556
00:22:23,917 --> 00:22:26,110
Tonight we become legends, Griffin.
557
00:22:26,125 --> 00:22:28,500
We go to that party
and we win that Gauntlet.
558
00:22:29,125 --> 00:22:32,083
This is our last chance
to make a great memory.
559
00:22:34,083 --> 00:22:35,833
Wow! That was really good.
560
00:22:36,250 --> 00:22:37,568
That was good.
Thanks.
561
00:22:37,583 --> 00:22:38,735
Did you practice that?
562
00:22:38,750 --> 00:22:40,708
A couple of times. Yeah.
563
00:22:44,708 --> 00:22:45,860
Ughhh!
564
00:22:45,875 --> 00:22:47,693
I know that groan!
565
00:22:47,708 --> 00:22:49,500
Ah, I still don't have a wristband.
566
00:22:50,417 --> 00:22:52,458
What is that? Hags, why are you winking?
567
00:22:52,875 --> 00:22:54,110
Man,
I just don't know about this.
568
00:22:54,125 --> 00:22:56,360
I haven't been over to Andrew's house
since, like, the second grade
569
00:22:56,375 --> 00:22:57,985
when his mom did that thing
with the mousetrap.
570
00:22:58,000 --> 00:23:00,068
Who cares? He said
he has extra wristbands.
571
00:23:00,083 --> 00:23:02,125
You need a wristband. Ring the bell.
572
00:23:04,958 --> 00:23:05,903
Should we call him?
573
00:23:05,918 --> 00:23:07,292
He don't believe in phones.
574
00:23:10,792 --> 00:23:11,792
Hello?
575
00:23:12,500 --> 00:23:14,000
Hello?
Hello, hello.
576
00:23:14,750 --> 00:23:16,042
Hello? Andrew?
577
00:23:17,125 --> 00:23:18,167
Hello?
578
00:23:22,333 --> 00:23:23,818
Hi, Mrs. Hellmuth?
579
00:23:23,833 --> 00:23:25,000
What do you want?
580
00:23:25,375 --> 00:23:27,985
Uh, sorry for barging
in your home like this.
581
00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:29,125
Is Andrew here?
582
00:23:30,375 --> 00:23:31,375
Andrew?
583
00:23:32,083 --> 00:23:33,193
My, uh...
584
00:23:33,208 --> 00:23:34,542
Your...
Your son.
585
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:36,958
Yeah. Son.
586
00:23:37,917 --> 00:23:39,193
You're looking for him?
587
00:23:39,208 --> 00:23:41,292
Uh, yes, ma'am.
It's kind of an emergency.
588
00:23:43,750 --> 00:23:44,875
You guys cops?
589
00:23:45,417 --> 00:23:46,568
No.
No.
590
00:23:46,583 --> 00:23:48,542
We're just...
We're in high school.
591
00:23:49,625 --> 00:23:51,027
Griffin? Hags?
592
00:23:51,042 --> 00:23:52,777
- Andrew!
- Holy shi...
593
00:23:52,792 --> 00:23:54,693
Uh, it's okay, Mom. These are my friends.
594
00:23:54,708 --> 00:23:56,110
Your friends? Yeah, right.
595
00:23:56,125 --> 00:23:58,068
I have friends, Mom!
Why don't you believe me?
596
00:23:58,083 --> 00:23:59,943
Why don't I believe
that you have friends?
597
00:23:59,958 --> 00:24:02,735
Probably because your tendency
towards violence
598
00:24:02,750 --> 00:24:04,818
caused us to be banned
from the fucking church.
599
00:24:04,833 --> 00:24:07,360
You didn't give me
my calming pills! That's why.
600
00:24:07,375 --> 00:24:11,485
I canceled our family trip to Reno
to pay for your freaking calming pills!
601
00:24:11,500 --> 00:24:12,735
Why do you think your father left?
602
00:24:12,750 --> 00:24:14,652
You said my dad left
to pursue his dreams.
603
00:24:14,667 --> 00:24:16,985
His only dream was to leave this house.
604
00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:18,417
Happy Binge!
605
00:24:19,208 --> 00:24:21,152
Fuck you, Mom!
606
00:24:21,167 --> 00:24:24,943
I'll bury you behind a Jiffy Lube.
And my friends are gonna help me!
607
00:24:24,958 --> 00:24:26,652
We will not be doing that.
We're not, we're not gonna do that.
608
00:24:26,667 --> 00:24:27,735
I mean, I don't even know him now.
609
00:24:27,750 --> 00:24:31,068
You think I'm afraid
of a couple of puto cops?
610
00:24:31,083 --> 00:24:34,360
I spent 18 years in a Bangkok prison
611
00:24:34,375 --> 00:24:36,860
hanging upside down from my labia.
612
00:24:36,875 --> 00:24:38,818
Two of those years,
I was pregnant with you.
613
00:24:38,833 --> 00:24:42,068
That's not even true, Mom.
Who are you trying to impress?
614
00:24:42,083 --> 00:24:44,485
Take these two guys up to my room
615
00:24:44,500 --> 00:24:46,943
and show them the Chai Ming Fist Bump.
616
00:24:46,958 --> 00:24:47,985
I don't wanna see that.
617
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:49,402
What the fuck does that even mean, Mom?
618
00:24:49,417 --> 00:24:52,985
I'll burn that tongue if you ever speak
to me that way again.
619
00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:54,000
Do it!
620
00:24:59,542 --> 00:25:00,693
Dinner's in ten.
621
00:25:00,708 --> 00:25:03,235
I love you!
I love you, too!
622
00:25:03,250 --> 00:25:04,250
Give Mommy a kiss.
623
00:25:10,625 --> 00:25:11,693
I'm so sorry about that, guys.
624
00:25:11,708 --> 00:25:13,989
My mom, she just loves
showing off in front of my friends.
625
00:25:14,793 --> 00:25:16,443
Listen, Andrew,
we're in a bit of a rush.
626
00:25:16,458 --> 00:25:18,818
Uh, we just wanted to know
how much we would have to pay you
627
00:25:18,833 --> 00:25:20,235
for those wristbands
you said you can get us?
628
00:25:20,250 --> 00:25:23,000
Well, currency is an illusion
influenced by a false reality.
629
00:25:23,458 --> 00:25:25,068
I live my life on a bartering system.
630
00:25:25,083 --> 00:25:26,443
Okay, we can work with that.
Oh.
631
00:25:26,458 --> 00:25:27,458
So what do you want?
632
00:25:28,375 --> 00:25:29,693
To be your wingman tonight.
633
00:25:29,708 --> 00:25:31,485
Well, of course you can, man.
Really?
634
00:25:31,500 --> 00:25:33,500
Yeah. That's...
Whoa, wait a minute.
635
00:25:33,958 --> 00:25:35,652
You see, me and Griffin, we're a duo.
636
00:25:35,667 --> 00:25:37,875
We've never been a trio.
What are you doing?
637
00:25:38,500 --> 00:25:39,943
Right. Right, right, right. Okay, okay.
638
00:25:39,958 --> 00:25:42,027
Andrew, do you mind if Griffin
and I just have a sidebar over here.
639
00:25:42,042 --> 00:25:43,028
Not about you, at all.
640
00:25:43,043 --> 00:25:44,527
Is that okay? Thank you.
What's going on?
641
00:25:44,542 --> 00:25:47,110
Whoa, we can't bring him, bro.
He's not helping our cool factor.
642
00:25:47,125 --> 00:25:49,860
And you're doing wonders for
our cool factor bringing bonus overalls?
643
00:25:49,875 --> 00:25:52,693
Look, Lena has a wristband.
Sarah has a wristband! I need a wristband!
644
00:25:52,708 --> 00:25:54,860
And having another person to pedal
that monstrosity outside
645
00:25:54,875 --> 00:25:56,277
- wouldn't hurt either.
- Fine.
646
00:25:56,292 --> 00:25:57,985
Fine. Andrew.
647
00:25:58,000 --> 00:25:59,777
Yes.
We're back. Sorry.
648
00:25:59,792 --> 00:26:00,485
Uh‐huh.
649
00:26:00,500 --> 00:26:01,361
What...
You're in.
650
00:26:01,376 --> 00:26:03,193
Yeah, you can be our wingman tonight.
651
00:26:03,208 --> 00:26:03,735
What?
652
00:26:03,750 --> 00:26:04,750
- Yeah.
- Yes.
653
00:26:05,083 --> 00:26:05,486
What?
654
00:26:05,501 --> 00:26:06,985
Oh‐kay.
655
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:08,652
- Yeah. It's all right.
- Oh my god!
656
00:26:08,667 --> 00:26:09,958
Wow! Uh...
657
00:26:11,542 --> 00:26:14,777
I swear... I will not let you guys down.
658
00:26:14,792 --> 00:26:16,042
How 'bout those wristbands?
659
00:26:16,417 --> 00:26:17,693
Ah, yes.
660
00:26:17,708 --> 00:26:19,318
Actually, I 3D printed them.
661
00:26:19,333 --> 00:26:20,985
I 3D print a lot of stuff.
662
00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:22,667
Oh, awesome, man. These things...
663
00:26:23,208 --> 00:26:24,735
Andrew, these are purple.
664
00:26:24,750 --> 00:26:26,500
The Library Party wristbands are orange.
665
00:26:27,083 --> 00:26:29,402
Yes. Hags, that is
a very good observation.
666
00:26:29,417 --> 00:26:32,902
You see, unfortunately,
the guy I usually barter with,
667
00:26:32,917 --> 00:26:34,610
he was all out of the orange filament so...
668
00:26:34,625 --> 00:26:37,025
Well, that doesn't help us at all.
Right, right, right. Uh...
669
00:26:37,583 --> 00:26:39,235
My twin brother Seb has real ones.
670
00:26:39,250 --> 00:26:41,292
Seb? "The Ice Russian?"
671
00:26:42,208 --> 00:26:44,402
Didn't he go to juvie for stabbing
some guy with a screwdriver?
672
00:26:44,417 --> 00:26:45,818
Wait, he's your twin brother?
673
00:26:45,833 --> 00:26:47,167
Yeah. From a different father.
674
00:26:49,625 --> 00:26:51,000
Excuse me.
What?
675
00:26:51,708 --> 00:26:54,042
Heteropaternal superfecundation.
676
00:26:56,208 --> 00:26:57,402
It's actually pretty common.
677
00:26:57,417 --> 00:27:00,027
You see, it's when a woman allows
two random sexual partners
678
00:27:00,042 --> 00:27:02,875
to ejaculate inside of her
during a special two‐egg ovulation.
679
00:27:03,292 --> 00:27:06,943
Yeah. And then she has fraternal twins
from two different fathers.
680
00:27:06,958 --> 00:27:11,000
So I have a... half‐twin brother.
Or a full twin half‐brother.
681
00:27:11,542 --> 00:27:14,342
Halfernal for short. He's actually...
He's, uh, six days older than me.
682
00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:17,667
I was thinking we'd do the old switcheroo.
683
00:27:19,167 --> 00:27:21,068
All right,
just follow my bullshit.
684
00:27:21,083 --> 00:27:22,860
Okay, guys, listen to me.
685
00:27:22,875 --> 00:27:25,125
No matter what he says, do not sit down.
686
00:27:29,167 --> 00:27:31,735
Hello! How are you?
687
00:27:31,750 --> 00:27:33,542
Uh, I'm Hags. This is Griffin.
688
00:27:34,375 --> 00:27:35,375
You know Andrew.
689
00:27:38,875 --> 00:27:39,958
That's a real beer.
690
00:27:41,750 --> 00:27:42,917
The fuck is it?
691
00:27:45,833 --> 00:27:46,833
Go, go.
692
00:27:51,750 --> 00:27:53,000
Ah, little brother.
693
00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:54,736
What are you doing here?
694
00:27:54,751 --> 00:27:56,068
I thought you vowed
never to talk to me again
695
00:27:56,083 --> 00:27:58,527
after I made you eat all that tinsel
off the Christmas tree.
696
00:27:58,542 --> 00:28:00,193
Time heals all wounds, brother.
697
00:28:00,208 --> 00:28:01,818
Ah, there's always time to make another.
698
00:28:01,833 --> 00:28:03,318
Whoa. Okay. All right.
699
00:28:03,333 --> 00:28:05,360
Guys, I think we're really getting off
on the wrong foot here.
700
00:28:05,375 --> 00:28:06,361
Are you cops?
701
00:28:06,376 --> 00:28:09,318
We are literally in the same grade.
Why does everyone think we're cops?
702
00:28:09,333 --> 00:28:10,443
I don't really know.
703
00:28:10,458 --> 00:28:12,985
Oh! Uh, speaking of
the Library Party tonight,
704
00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:15,777
we have these really cool
purple VIP wristbands,
705
00:28:15,792 --> 00:28:16,943
but we don't know where the entrance is.
706
00:28:16,958 --> 00:28:18,777
Yeah, we can't find
any information online.
707
00:28:18,792 --> 00:28:22,292
Yes. So, we just figured a couple top
cool all‐stars like yourselves would know.
708
00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:24,667
- VIP?
- Yes.
709
00:28:27,833 --> 00:28:28,833
Have a seat.
710
00:28:30,958 --> 00:28:32,193
We're standers.
Sit!
711
00:28:32,208 --> 00:28:33,958
Yeah, we can do that.
Sure.
712
00:28:42,167 --> 00:28:43,167
Ohh!
713
00:28:45,833 --> 00:28:46,833
Jersey Turnpike?
714
00:28:47,375 --> 00:28:48,693
Jersey Turnpike?
715
00:28:48,708 --> 00:28:50,443
Half a line of protein,
half a line of creatine.
716
00:28:50,458 --> 00:28:51,985
That's not even drugs?
Yeah, why would I wanna do that?
717
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:52,653
I don't wanna do that.
718
00:28:52,668 --> 00:28:54,693
If you're not a narc, then you
wouldn't mind doing a Jersey Turnpike.
719
00:28:54,708 --> 00:28:55,153
Oh!
720
00:28:55,168 --> 00:28:56,708
Dude, do the Jersey Turnpike.
721
00:29:01,292 --> 00:29:04,193
Whoa... that burns a lot.
722
00:29:04,208 --> 00:29:05,208
Yeah, baby!
723
00:29:05,875 --> 00:29:06,995
So let me get this straight.
724
00:29:07,958 --> 00:29:10,902
You come into my personal space
with your purple wristbands
725
00:29:10,917 --> 00:29:13,110
and this talk of VIP.
726
00:29:13,125 --> 00:29:14,958
You think you're what, just gonna,
727
00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:18,818
just waltz out of here?
728
00:29:18,833 --> 00:29:19,833
Oh!
729
00:29:22,667 --> 00:29:24,067
Well, you got another thing coming,
730
00:29:27,167 --> 00:29:28,625
because I would love...
731
00:29:31,333 --> 00:29:33,000
to compensate you for those.
732
00:29:35,083 --> 00:29:35,985
Generously.
733
00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:36,903
Yeah, that...
734
00:29:36,918 --> 00:29:38,027
How's a grand sound?
735
00:29:38,042 --> 00:29:39,068
Pssh.
That works.
736
00:29:39,083 --> 00:29:40,402
That's a pretty good deal.
That's great.
737
00:29:40,417 --> 00:29:41,153
Perfect for us.
Huh?
738
00:29:41,168 --> 00:29:43,542
'Cause no offense,
'cause you're not really the VIP type.
739
00:29:44,917 --> 00:29:45,861
You stand out.
740
00:29:45,876 --> 00:29:47,277
We totally agree.
741
00:29:47,292 --> 00:29:48,568
Thank you for being so honest.
742
00:29:48,583 --> 00:29:49,735
Oh‐kay!
743
00:29:49,750 --> 00:29:52,068
This guy, man. He really likes that thing.
744
00:29:52,083 --> 00:29:54,652
Okay, so if you guys are good,
I think we're good. We're definitely good.
745
00:29:54,667 --> 00:29:56,485
So I think then that's it.
I think that's it then.
746
00:29:56,500 --> 00:29:59,068
So we'll just swap our VIP wristbands
for your normal ones. And that's good.
747
00:29:59,083 --> 00:30:00,318
These are for you.
Thank you, Seb.
748
00:30:00,333 --> 00:30:01,735
Give my boy the cash, all right.
749
00:30:01,750 --> 00:30:04,652
It was nice doing business with you.
Oh, oh, I just have one more question.
750
00:30:04,667 --> 00:30:05,708
Come on.
751
00:30:07,125 --> 00:30:09,042
It's a secret.
It's... it's...
752
00:30:11,917 --> 00:30:13,027
- Ahh!
- Whoa! Whoa!
753
00:30:13,042 --> 00:30:14,068
You think I'm fucking stupid?
754
00:30:14,083 --> 00:30:15,235
- No, sir! No, we do not.
- Huh?
755
00:30:15,250 --> 00:30:16,318
You come in here.
756
00:30:16,333 --> 00:30:17,735
You try to take the Gauntlet win from us?
757
00:30:17,750 --> 00:30:19,110
You got...
758
00:30:19,708 --> 00:30:20,833
Oww!
759
00:30:21,792 --> 00:30:24,235
Oh fuck! Ow!
760
00:30:24,250 --> 00:30:27,193
Wha‐No! What the fuck? Oh, you shot me!
761
00:30:27,208 --> 00:30:28,153
Now let me friend go!
762
00:30:28,168 --> 00:30:29,318
I'm not touching him. He's over there.
763
00:30:29,333 --> 00:30:30,652
Let him go!
764
00:30:30,667 --> 00:30:31,653
I'm not even near him!
765
00:30:31,668 --> 00:30:33,152
Give me the wristbands
766
00:30:33,167 --> 00:30:34,652
or the next one's in the breadbasket,
767
00:30:34,667 --> 00:30:35,818
I fucking swear to God!
768
00:30:35,833 --> 00:30:36,902
Give it to him. Give it to him.
769
00:30:36,917 --> 00:30:37,917
Okay, good. Calm down...
770
00:30:39,042 --> 00:30:41,167
Oh.
771
00:30:43,083 --> 00:30:45,110
Oh my god! You shot my dick!
772
00:30:45,125 --> 00:30:46,402
You shot my dick!
773
00:30:46,417 --> 00:30:48,693
Oh!
All right, motherfuckers.
774
00:30:48,708 --> 00:30:50,693
He shot my penis.
You shot his penis.
775
00:30:50,708 --> 00:30:52,360
There's gonna be...
Oww! What the...
776
00:30:52,375 --> 00:30:53,652
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Hags.
777
00:30:53,667 --> 00:30:55,860
Goddammit! You shot me in my neck!
778
00:30:55,875 --> 00:30:56,694
God, I don't want to look at it.
779
00:30:56,709 --> 00:30:57,777
I didn't mean to! I'm sorry.
780
00:30:57,792 --> 00:30:58,778
We gotta go!
781
00:30:58,793 --> 00:31:00,193
Don't pull it out! Don't pull it out!
782
00:31:00,208 --> 00:31:01,568
- Go! Go! Go!
- Go!
783
00:31:01,583 --> 00:31:02,236
Get 'em!
784
00:31:02,251 --> 00:31:04,527
We got the wristbands.
Let's go. We got 'em.
785
00:31:04,542 --> 00:31:06,110
I'm sorry!
786
00:31:06,125 --> 00:31:07,443
What the fuck?
787
00:31:07,458 --> 00:31:08,458
Come on, get 'em!
788
00:31:08,875 --> 00:31:10,068
- Pump it!
- I'm gonna kick your ass!
789
00:31:10,083 --> 00:31:12,458
It's right on the shaft.
It's right on the shaft.
790
00:31:14,750 --> 00:31:15,735
Did we lose them?
791
00:31:15,750 --> 00:31:16,736
Do you think we can stop?
792
00:31:16,751 --> 00:31:18,193
- Ow.
- I think we're good.
793
00:31:18,208 --> 00:31:19,808
- Owww!
- I think we can stop!
794
00:31:21,583 --> 00:31:22,583
Oh!
795
00:31:22,833 --> 00:31:23,833
Oh, that was crazy.
796
00:31:24,500 --> 00:31:25,500
Ahh!
797
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:26,944
Oww!
798
00:31:26,959 --> 00:31:28,568
All right. We're okay.
799
00:31:28,583 --> 00:31:29,860
That was so crazy.
800
00:31:29,875 --> 00:31:32,235
I got a dart in my neck!
801
00:31:32,250 --> 00:31:33,902
I have a dart in my neck.
802
00:31:33,917 --> 00:31:36,277
I'm sorry, Hags. I didn't mean to.
803
00:31:36,292 --> 00:31:37,860
Griffin, what the fuck is on your face?
804
00:31:37,875 --> 00:31:39,902
- What?
- What's on your face?
805
00:31:39,917 --> 00:31:41,235
Oh! Oh my god.
806
00:31:41,250 --> 00:31:42,443
I don't know, it's stuck.
807
00:31:42,458 --> 00:31:43,652
- You gotta rip it off.
- Holy...
808
00:31:43,667 --> 00:31:44,777
Just rip it?
Like a Band‐Aid.
809
00:31:44,792 --> 00:31:48,027
No, just take it off your‐Oh shit!
Oh!
810
00:31:48,042 --> 00:31:52,235
Ohhh! Fuck you. That hurts so bad!
811
00:31:52,250 --> 00:31:53,490
You really went for it.
812
00:31:53,667 --> 00:31:55,235
Why is there hair on the paper?
813
00:31:55,250 --> 00:31:56,652
Okay, okay.
814
00:31:56,667 --> 00:31:58,375
Andrew, did I just rip my eyebrow off?
815
00:31:59,292 --> 00:32:00,527
No, not all of it.
816
00:32:00,542 --> 00:32:01,777
Ohh!
817
00:32:01,792 --> 00:32:04,027
Oh fuck! Uh...
818
00:32:04,042 --> 00:32:07,083
Okay. Okay. How long does it take
for an eyebrow to grow back?
819
00:32:07,750 --> 00:32:08,777
Six to twelve months.
820
00:32:08,792 --> 00:32:10,693
Months!
Couple weeks to get one shipped.
821
00:32:10,708 --> 00:32:12,777
I need serious medical attention here.
822
00:32:12,792 --> 00:32:15,402
I can't talk to Lena like this.
I can't talk to Lena with one eyebrow.
823
00:32:15,417 --> 00:32:17,443
You guys need
some Library Party wristbands?
824
00:32:17,458 --> 00:32:18,458
$50.
825
00:32:20,583 --> 00:32:22,458
So, you guys need 'em?
I got 'em. Fifty bucks.
826
00:32:23,083 --> 00:32:24,083
What?
827
00:32:24,333 --> 00:32:27,208
♪ Jazz music playing on stereo ♪
828
00:32:29,250 --> 00:32:31,250
I got the Tahini,
the green pepper.
829
00:32:31,667 --> 00:32:33,708
And finish it off with that limon.
830
00:32:34,542 --> 00:32:35,277
See what you think.
831
00:32:35,292 --> 00:32:36,292
All right.
832
00:32:39,333 --> 00:32:40,333
Oh my god.
833
00:32:40,833 --> 00:32:43,152
That is the most perfect hummus as always.
834
00:32:43,167 --> 00:32:45,042
That's just a hobby. It's pretty good.
835
00:32:46,042 --> 00:32:48,818
Um... think I'm gonna
go upstairs and study,
836
00:32:48,833 --> 00:32:49,610
get ready for bed.
837
00:32:49,625 --> 00:32:50,625
Study?
838
00:32:51,167 --> 00:32:52,902
Well, you already got into Brown.
839
00:32:52,917 --> 00:32:55,485
You should be having some fun.
You're not gonna be a teenager forever.
840
00:32:55,500 --> 00:32:58,443
Uh... maybe tomorrow night, Dad.
841
00:32:58,458 --> 00:32:59,735
All right. Well, you're gonna have
a hard time sleeping.
842
00:32:59,750 --> 00:33:00,694
I've laid a piece of wood out,
843
00:33:00,709 --> 00:33:03,360
and I'm gonna carve
one of those gnome walking sticks.
844
00:33:03,375 --> 00:33:06,027
I know they're ugly bastards,
but I'm drawn to them.
845
00:33:06,042 --> 00:33:07,652
I like 'em.
You get some rest.
846
00:33:07,667 --> 00:33:08,653
Okay.
847
00:33:08,668 --> 00:33:10,708
Change your mind, we got
a bowl of hummus down here.
848
00:33:14,292 --> 00:33:17,042
Get off my lawn,
you tweaking son of a bitch!
849
00:33:17,667 --> 00:33:18,985
I'll come out there and bu...
850
00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:19,986
Who the hell you talking to?
851
00:33:20,001 --> 00:33:21,693
I'm so sorry, Mrs. Clarkson.
852
00:33:21,708 --> 00:33:23,443
I thought you were a Binger. My fault.
853
00:33:23,458 --> 00:33:25,250
Come on over. I got some hummus for you.
854
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:28,000
Whoo!
855
00:33:31,292 --> 00:33:33,110
You guys really think
this looks okay?
856
00:33:33,125 --> 00:33:35,027
Honestly, I think
it's better than before.
857
00:33:35,042 --> 00:33:37,443
Wow. You are an artist, Hags.
858
00:33:37,458 --> 00:33:38,568
Thank you, Andrew,
859
00:33:38,583 --> 00:33:39,943
you crazy son of a bitch.
860
00:33:39,958 --> 00:33:40,985
You know, you were awesome back there.
861
00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:41,819
You really were, man.
862
00:33:41,834 --> 00:33:44,485
Really? Yeah, you were all like,
"Oh, let my friends go!"
863
00:33:44,500 --> 00:33:45,278
That was crazy!
864
00:33:45,293 --> 00:33:47,610
Yeah. Like a modern day Moses!
865
00:33:47,625 --> 00:33:48,625
Sure.
866
00:33:48,917 --> 00:33:50,735
Oh, Seb's gonna murder me
867
00:33:50,750 --> 00:33:52,235
and you guys too at some point,
868
00:33:52,250 --> 00:33:54,568
but net‐net, I think it was worth it.
869
00:33:54,583 --> 00:33:56,610
Three whiskey shots.
870
00:33:56,625 --> 00:33:58,485
Enjoy!
871
00:33:58,500 --> 00:33:59,625
Happy Binge.
872
00:34:00,042 --> 00:34:01,152
- Sick brow!
- Oh.
873
00:34:01,167 --> 00:34:02,111
Told you!
874
00:34:02,126 --> 00:34:03,610
Thank you, ma'am.
875
00:34:03,625 --> 00:34:06,027
Um, maybe we should just get
to the party, you know.
876
00:34:06,042 --> 00:34:06,778
Beat the rush.
877
00:34:06,793 --> 00:34:09,568
We are not trying to get
discount printers on Black Friday.
878
00:34:09,583 --> 00:34:10,153
To the Binge!
879
00:34:10,168 --> 00:34:11,777
But what if promposal guy
beats me there?
880
00:34:11,792 --> 00:34:15,110
Lena is not there yet.
I can promise you that, okay.
881
00:34:15,125 --> 00:34:16,860
Plus, you don't wanna go dead sober.
882
00:34:16,875 --> 00:34:17,985
Which is why I brought you here,
883
00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:19,485
because you get all locked up around her.
884
00:34:19,500 --> 00:34:21,193
Right? To the Binge!
885
00:34:21,208 --> 00:34:22,902
Hags is absolutely right, by the way.
886
00:34:22,917 --> 00:34:25,083
People are more likely
to have sex while on drugs.
887
00:34:25,625 --> 00:34:28,458
My mom got pregnant with Seb
and I while she was on cat tranquilizer.
888
00:34:28,792 --> 00:34:30,112
Why did we ever stop hanging out?
889
00:34:30,458 --> 00:34:32,235
That's a funny story, Hags.
890
00:34:32,250 --> 00:34:34,527
Remember Greg Olivotti's
roller rink party,
891
00:34:34,542 --> 00:34:37,318
where you guys convinced me
to do the Mambo No. 5 shuffle?
892
00:34:37,333 --> 00:34:40,360
Well, I crashed into Christina Barnes
and dislocated her shoulder,
893
00:34:40,375 --> 00:34:43,152
and then she couldn't go
to the cheer finals in Fort Lauderdale.
894
00:34:43,167 --> 00:34:44,958
They ended up losing,
and everyone blamed me.
895
00:34:45,583 --> 00:34:46,943
Then I come to find out
there's no such thing
896
00:34:46,958 --> 00:34:48,667
as the Mambo No. 5 shuffle to begin with.
897
00:34:49,500 --> 00:34:51,250
That kind of changed
the course of my life.
898
00:34:51,958 --> 00:34:53,902
Wow. I totally forgot about that.
899
00:34:53,917 --> 00:34:55,193
Yeah. Me too.
900
00:34:55,208 --> 00:34:57,068
Sorry about that, man.
I'm really sorry, man.
901
00:34:57,083 --> 00:34:58,818
It's okay. I mean,
hey, we're together now.
902
00:34:58,833 --> 00:34:59,611
That's all that matters.
903
00:34:59,626 --> 00:35:01,485
It just means that we're gonna have
to pack half a decade
904
00:35:01,500 --> 00:35:02,777
of could‐have‐beens into one night!
905
00:35:02,792 --> 00:35:03,943
Amen to that!
906
00:35:03,958 --> 00:35:06,068
Okay, I'll have a drink.
I don't want to embarrass myself.
907
00:35:06,083 --> 00:35:07,110
But then we really need to go.
908
00:35:07,125 --> 00:35:09,750
To our first sip of alcohol.
909
00:35:10,333 --> 00:35:11,235
To the Binge.
910
00:35:11,250 --> 00:35:12,069
Yeah.
911
00:35:12,084 --> 00:35:13,777
Cheers, fellas.
Okay.
912
00:35:13,792 --> 00:35:14,792
Uhh!
913
00:35:23,833 --> 00:35:24,736
Another round?
914
00:35:24,751 --> 00:35:25,902
Absolutely!
915
00:35:25,917 --> 00:35:28,237
I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
I'll have some celery sticks!
916
00:35:28,458 --> 00:35:30,485
♪ Hitchhiker's NADA playing ♪
917
00:35:50,458 --> 00:35:52,485
Bingers. Bingers. Bingers!
918
00:35:52,500 --> 00:35:54,235
Come on down to the Carnegie Library
919
00:35:54,250 --> 00:35:56,360
for your chance to become
a part of history
920
00:35:56,375 --> 00:35:58,693
in this year's Gauntlet.
921
00:35:58,708 --> 00:36:01,652
Four grueling rounds of drug
and alcohol‐infused competition
922
00:36:01,667 --> 00:36:03,610
of mind, body, and soul.
923
00:36:03,625 --> 00:36:06,068
You've heard the rumors, now live them.
924
00:36:06,083 --> 00:36:09,443
Maybe even see the return of
the Gauntlet's most legendary Valleyman.
925
00:36:09,458 --> 00:36:10,458
El Pantera.
926
00:36:11,458 --> 00:36:14,152
One night only. This year's Gauntlet.
927
00:36:14,167 --> 00:36:17,235
Be there! And don't die!
928
00:36:17,250 --> 00:36:19,568
Gauntlet legends.
929
00:36:19,583 --> 00:36:21,902
What I wouldn't do to be up on this wall.
930
00:36:29,667 --> 00:36:30,777
Hags' hotline.
931
00:36:30,792 --> 00:36:32,125
Hags? Hags?
Hello, Hags.
932
00:36:32,875 --> 00:36:34,027
Sarah. Hey!
933
00:36:34,042 --> 00:36:34,986
Are you in a bathroom?
934
00:36:35,001 --> 00:36:36,527
Yeah‐No, I'm not in a bathroom.
935
00:36:36,542 --> 00:36:40,860
I am at a Pre‐Binge VIP Party.
936
00:36:40,875 --> 00:36:43,125
Definitely looks like the bathroom
of a Whack‐A‐Doodle's.
937
00:36:43,875 --> 00:36:46,818
Wow! That's crazy. I know, right?
938
00:36:46,833 --> 00:36:48,610
I remember you saying that
you were going to the Library Party,
939
00:36:48,625 --> 00:36:50,277
and I was wondering
if you could pick us up.
940
00:36:50,292 --> 00:36:51,693
Um, what happened to the limo?
941
00:36:51,708 --> 00:36:52,777
He's, like, an hour late.
942
00:36:52,792 --> 00:36:55,112
Can you come pick us up please.
We really want to ride you!
943
00:36:55,167 --> 00:36:57,542
What? SARAH: I said,
we really want to ride with you.
944
00:36:58,458 --> 00:36:59,860
I don't get
why Lena'd be at Sarah's.
945
00:36:59,875 --> 00:37:01,485
Everyone's at Sarah's.
946
00:37:01,500 --> 00:37:04,152
It's the official unofficial
pre‐game party.
947
00:37:04,167 --> 00:37:05,943
Hey! Who's the lucky bachelorette?
948
00:37:05,958 --> 00:37:07,402
Mazel tov, nerds.
949
00:37:07,417 --> 00:37:09,735
Maybe we should pull over for
a little bit and just collect ourselves.
950
00:37:09,750 --> 00:37:10,902
No, fellas, we're almost there.
951
00:37:10,917 --> 00:37:12,037
I'm gonna throw up.
952
00:37:13,625 --> 00:37:16,693
You make me do this stupid shit,
and I'm supposed to be the mysterious one?
953
00:37:16,708 --> 00:37:19,110
Do you want to hit triple digit likes
or do you want to stay in the low 60s
954
00:37:19,125 --> 00:37:20,527
like Erika Mendelson?
955
00:37:20,542 --> 00:37:22,235
What in the fuck is that?
956
00:37:22,250 --> 00:37:23,610
Ladies,
957
00:37:23,625 --> 00:37:26,235
your chariot has arrived.
958
00:37:26,250 --> 00:37:27,902
Ew, what happened to your eyebrow?
959
00:37:27,917 --> 00:37:29,360
He's got cancer. Next question?
960
00:37:29,375 --> 00:37:30,375
I don't have cancer.
961
00:37:30,542 --> 00:37:32,818
He's just being modest.
Have you guys seen Lena at all?
962
00:37:32,833 --> 00:37:34,193
I don't know who that is.
Who the fuck is Lena?
963
00:37:34,208 --> 00:37:36,735
She smells good.
Ladies, you guys know Andrew, right?
964
00:37:36,750 --> 00:37:38,318
You're Ice Russian's twin.
965
00:37:38,333 --> 00:37:40,152
Didn't you set the lacrosse field on fire?
966
00:37:40,167 --> 00:37:42,333
Uhh, somebody had to do it.
967
00:37:43,083 --> 00:37:44,083
Cool.
968
00:37:44,125 --> 00:37:47,417
Listen, ladies, check it out,
we got, we got ten seats.
969
00:37:47,917 --> 00:37:49,277
Eleven, if you count my face.
970
00:37:49,292 --> 00:37:50,375
What do you mean by that?
971
00:37:51,417 --> 00:37:52,897
There's a whole squad of y'all,
972
00:37:53,125 --> 00:37:55,417
and there just might not be enough seats.
973
00:37:55,958 --> 00:37:58,917
Sorry, Hags. Our limo driver called.
He's gonna be here any minute.
974
00:37:59,583 --> 00:38:01,693
But... but we came
all this way to rescue you.
975
00:38:01,708 --> 00:38:04,708
It's just that being in a limo
sounds like a lot more fun than...
976
00:38:05,917 --> 00:38:07,042
whatever that thing is.
977
00:38:07,875 --> 00:38:09,568
Hey, do you think we could ride
with you guys?
978
00:38:09,583 --> 00:38:10,693
This thing is super hard to pedal.
979
00:38:10,708 --> 00:38:12,985
I'm so sorry, our seats are spoken for.
980
00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:15,902
Do you know how many people die
in limos per year?
981
00:38:15,917 --> 00:38:17,777
Right? If you think
a regular car accident is bad,
982
00:38:17,792 --> 00:38:20,693
now imagine you with 19
of your best friends
983
00:38:20,708 --> 00:38:22,568
all dying at the same time?
984
00:38:22,583 --> 00:38:24,277
Right? Think of your families.
985
00:38:24,292 --> 00:38:26,958
Wouldn't that be awful? Just awful.
986
00:38:27,333 --> 00:38:29,693
They will never recover from this
type of trauma. Hags! Hags! Hags!
987
00:38:29,708 --> 00:38:30,818
Hags!
What?
988
00:38:32,292 --> 00:38:33,069
Fuck!
989
00:38:33,084 --> 00:38:34,527
- Oh no!
- Bye!
990
00:38:34,542 --> 00:38:36,402
- My life's work.
- No! No!
991
00:38:36,417 --> 00:38:37,860
Oh no!
992
00:38:37,875 --> 00:38:39,443
No! Fuck! Fuck!
993
00:38:39,458 --> 00:38:40,069
Oh no.
994
00:38:40,084 --> 00:38:41,318
Oh god!
995
00:38:41,333 --> 00:38:42,333
Oh no!
996
00:38:42,750 --> 00:38:44,527
Nooo!
997
00:38:44,542 --> 00:38:46,208
How did it turn like that?
998
00:38:48,792 --> 00:38:51,250
♪ Pop music playing in distance ♪
999
00:38:52,583 --> 00:38:53,583
- Uh...
- Guys!
1000
00:38:56,792 --> 00:38:57,778
Oh shit!
1001
00:38:57,793 --> 00:38:58,833
No!
1002
00:39:00,750 --> 00:39:01,569
Hey!
1003
00:39:01,584 --> 00:39:03,152
- Wait.
- Hey! Hey!
1004
00:39:03,167 --> 00:39:05,610
We're saved. We're saved!
1005
00:39:05,625 --> 00:39:06,735
Wait!
1006
00:39:06,750 --> 00:39:07,569
- Yes!
- Wait.
1007
00:39:07,584 --> 00:39:09,360
Wait.
1008
00:39:09,375 --> 00:39:10,402
- Sarah!
- Don't go.
1009
00:39:10,417 --> 00:39:12,042
- No! No!
- Hey!
1010
00:39:12,500 --> 00:39:14,708
Goddammit!
1011
00:39:16,292 --> 00:39:17,292
Shit!
1012
00:39:19,125 --> 00:39:20,125
It's Lena.
1013
00:39:20,417 --> 00:39:22,318
She just texted from the party.
She asked how long till we're there.
1014
00:39:22,333 --> 00:39:23,527
Soon!
How?
1015
00:39:23,542 --> 00:39:25,235
We'll figure it out, okay.
We'll get there.
1016
00:39:25,250 --> 00:39:27,818
Just stall! Tell her
we're picking up some booze.
1017
00:39:27,833 --> 00:39:29,318
Or actually some presents!
1018
00:39:29,333 --> 00:39:31,053
- Chicks love presents.
- And astrology.
1019
00:39:31,292 --> 00:39:33,318
Just tell her that you're a Leo!
That's why you're getting the presents.
1020
00:39:33,333 --> 00:39:34,360
I'm a Virgo, though.
1021
00:39:34,375 --> 00:39:36,693
That's even better. That means that
your emotions rise with the tides!
1022
00:39:36,708 --> 00:39:37,902
How do you know so much about astrology?
1023
00:39:37,917 --> 00:39:39,568
I had a pen‐pal that went to Space Camp.
1024
00:39:39,583 --> 00:39:41,568
Wait, okay, that's a really good idea.
Let me think. Let me think for a second.
1025
00:39:41,583 --> 00:39:43,985
Uh... uh... "I'm at Sarah's."
1026
00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:46,193
"I'm just getting you presents
1027
00:39:46,208 --> 00:39:47,443
"because I'm a Virgo." Send.
1028
00:39:47,458 --> 00:39:48,652
Nice.
Yeah?
1029
00:39:48,667 --> 00:39:50,193
Proud of you.
Thanks, guys.
1030
00:39:50,208 --> 00:39:51,208
Proud of you.
1031
00:39:53,042 --> 00:39:54,818
It autocorrected to
"I'm gonna get you pregnant
1032
00:39:54,833 --> 00:39:55,819
because I'm a virgin!"
1033
00:39:55,834 --> 00:39:57,485
Fuck!
Oh no.
1034
00:39:57,500 --> 00:39:59,235
I'm sorry. Typo.
1035
00:39:59,250 --> 00:40:00,250
Auto...
1036
00:40:01,293 --> 00:40:03,110
Fuck! I doubled down.
Damn!
1037
00:40:03,125 --> 00:40:05,445
Fuck! Wait, there's bubbles,
there's bubbles, she's typing.
1038
00:40:07,083 --> 00:40:08,693
The bubbles went away.
Why'd the bubbles go away?
1039
00:40:08,708 --> 00:40:10,235
Guys, this is really, really bad.
What do I do?
1040
00:40:10,250 --> 00:40:12,443
You relax. You wait for her
to respond, right?
1041
00:40:12,458 --> 00:40:14,152
She might be into it.
You gotta gauge her temperature.
1042
00:40:14,167 --> 00:40:16,110
It said, "getting pregnant."
Why would she be into that?
1043
00:40:16,125 --> 00:40:18,360
Just, like, keep tapping it.
It might go away.
1044
00:40:18,375 --> 00:40:19,775
♪ Dance music playing in distance ♪
1045
00:40:20,542 --> 00:40:21,403
Oh my god.
1046
00:40:21,418 --> 00:40:22,610
Oh shit.
Yes!
1047
00:40:22,625 --> 00:40:25,110
Yes! See, I told you
she wouldn't leave us.
1048
00:40:25,125 --> 00:40:27,027
Come on! Hey, Sarah!
1049
00:40:27,042 --> 00:40:28,318
You guys need a ride?
1050
00:40:28,333 --> 00:40:29,568
Yes, please, thank you.
That would be amazing. Please.
1051
00:40:29,583 --> 00:40:30,583
Stop.
1052
00:40:31,250 --> 00:40:33,735
We'll give you a ride if you...
1053
00:40:33,750 --> 00:40:34,750
Suck each other?
1054
00:40:37,500 --> 00:40:38,917
Punch each other in the face.
1055
00:40:39,375 --> 00:40:40,153
- What?
- Yeah.
1056
00:40:40,168 --> 00:40:42,568
Sarah, come on, please.
Just give us a ride.
1057
00:40:42,583 --> 00:40:44,318
Griffin's got to go ask
his girlfriend to prom.
1058
00:40:44,333 --> 00:40:45,610
I'm not fucking kidding.
Mm‐mm.
1059
00:40:45,625 --> 00:40:47,193
If you guys want to get in this car,
1060
00:40:47,208 --> 00:40:49,902
you need to punch each other in the faces
like you fucking mean it.
1061
00:40:49,917 --> 00:40:52,277
Guys, guys, I've been punched
in the face before.
1062
00:40:52,292 --> 00:40:54,485
It's not so bad, okay.
Just picture the other guy naked.
1063
00:40:54,500 --> 00:40:56,235
What? Guys, no. We're not punching
each other in the face.
1064
00:40:56,250 --> 00:40:57,610
Griffin, this is our only ride.
1065
00:40:57,625 --> 00:40:59,693
Sarah, this is crazy, right?
I mean, come on.
1066
00:40:59,708 --> 00:41:01,485
You don't actually want us
to punch each other in the face.
1067
00:41:01,500 --> 00:41:02,360
Fuck these guys. Let's go.
1068
00:41:02,375 --> 00:41:03,236
We'll do it. We'll do it.
1069
00:41:03,251 --> 00:41:05,193
Okay, Sarah, we're gonna do it!
We're gonna do it!
1070
00:41:05,208 --> 00:41:07,693
Just punch me. Just punch me
and let's get this shit over with.
1071
00:41:07,708 --> 00:41:09,402
That's so dumb.
Remember drama camp class?
1072
00:41:09,417 --> 00:41:11,693
I'm gonna sell that shit to the left.
Bang. Right there.
1073
00:41:11,708 --> 00:41:12,943
Right there. Ready?
Ready?
1074
00:41:12,958 --> 00:41:13,958
One,
1075
00:41:14,417 --> 00:41:15,417
two...
1076
00:41:15,458 --> 00:41:17,027
Oww!
1077
00:41:17,042 --> 00:41:17,736
What the fuck?
1078
00:41:17,751 --> 00:41:19,443
Oh, why would you do that?
1079
00:41:19,458 --> 00:41:20,985
Now it's over. It's not so bad, right?
1080
00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:23,527
Bad. Very, very, very bad, Andrew. Fuck!
1081
00:41:23,542 --> 00:41:25,735
The trick to getting punched in the face
is to not see it coming.
1082
00:41:25,750 --> 00:41:26,694
That was my fucking ear!
1083
00:41:26,709 --> 00:41:28,402
Okay. One down, two to go.
1084
00:41:28,417 --> 00:41:31,068
Andrew, I'm gonna punch you.
Griffin, you punch me.
1085
00:41:31,083 --> 00:41:31,736
Okay.
Ready?
1086
00:41:31,751 --> 00:41:32,818
Right.
On the count of three.
1087
00:41:32,833 --> 00:41:34,693
Got it.
One, two, three...
1088
00:41:34,708 --> 00:41:38,402
Ow! What the fu‐Ow!
1089
00:41:38,417 --> 00:41:40,402
Is your head made out of a filing cabinet?
1090
00:41:40,417 --> 00:41:41,568
Okay, now your turn, Hags!
1091
00:41:41,583 --> 00:41:43,693
Okay. Okay. My turn.
You ready?
1092
00:41:43,708 --> 00:41:45,235
- I'm ready. Here we go.
- Here we go.
1093
00:41:45,250 --> 00:41:45,860
You ready?
1094
00:41:45,875 --> 00:41:46,694
Punch me.
Okay.
1095
00:41:46,709 --> 00:41:48,277
On the count of three.
Look at me.
1096
00:41:48,292 --> 00:41:50,250
One, two...
1097
00:41:50,667 --> 00:41:51,667
Wait a minute!
Okay.
1098
00:41:52,042 --> 00:41:53,068
Just give me a minute.
Okay.
1099
00:41:53,083 --> 00:41:55,152
Come on, Hags.
Okay. Sarah, I'm doing this sh...
1100
00:41:55,167 --> 00:41:56,235
Ahh!
1101
00:41:56,250 --> 00:41:58,443
- Shit!
- Oh‐In the neck!
1102
00:41:58,458 --> 00:41:59,985
Fuck, you hit my throat.
1103
00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:01,818
You okay?
What happened to the "Go"?
1104
00:42:01,833 --> 00:42:03,152
I've never punched someone
in the face before.
1105
00:42:03,167 --> 00:42:04,860
My inner‐ear balance is all messed up.
1106
00:42:04,875 --> 00:42:06,485
I can't believe
you guys just did that.
1107
00:42:06,500 --> 00:42:08,125
We would have let you in the car anyway.
1108
00:42:08,625 --> 00:42:09,569
I can't swallow.
1109
00:42:09,584 --> 00:42:11,068
I fucking love tonight.
1110
00:42:11,083 --> 00:42:12,985
Oh my god. Get in, you earned it.
1111
00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:14,292
We're all good, right?
1112
00:42:15,167 --> 00:42:16,443
Stop. What are you guys doing?
1113
00:42:16,458 --> 00:42:18,138
Go in the front.
There's no room back here.
1114
00:42:18,625 --> 00:42:20,000
Fucking virgins.
1115
00:42:20,625 --> 00:42:22,985
Oh man!
1116
00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:24,777
Sorry about that
punchdrunk love back there.
1117
00:42:24,792 --> 00:42:27,693
Looks like you guys really took
some shit to the face!
1118
00:42:27,708 --> 00:42:29,527
That was cool. Chicks said you'd dig it.
1119
00:42:29,542 --> 00:42:31,985
I doubt it! Right? I'm Pompano Mike!
1120
00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:33,610
Hey.
Pompano, huh?
1121
00:42:33,625 --> 00:42:35,527
Yeah.
My grandparents live in Florida!
1122
00:42:35,542 --> 00:42:37,027
Oh! What are their names?
Uh...
1123
00:42:37,042 --> 00:42:38,568
I'm just kidding, I'm not from there.
1124
00:42:38,583 --> 00:42:40,777
I just like to live my life
in a South Florida state of mind!
1125
00:42:40,792 --> 00:42:42,402
Strap on your dicks, boys,
1126
00:42:42,417 --> 00:42:43,417
here we go!
1127
00:42:44,250 --> 00:42:48,027
And so as daylight
fades across the landscape
1128
00:42:48,042 --> 00:42:51,042
and the moon sits perched
in the night sky,
1129
00:42:51,583 --> 00:42:55,818
the effects of the poison grip
the minds of all who imbibe.
1130
00:42:55,833 --> 00:42:58,527
Some will live to tell a tale of growth
1131
00:42:58,542 --> 00:43:02,375
while other may fall prey
to the dark side.
1132
00:43:04,375 --> 00:43:06,917
♪ Electronic dance music playing ♪
1133
00:43:07,250 --> 00:43:08,860
It's getting crazy out there.
1134
00:43:10,083 --> 00:43:13,152
You know, I know tonight brings up
a lot of embarrassing memories
1135
00:43:13,167 --> 00:43:15,583
for... both of us.
1136
00:43:17,500 --> 00:43:18,833
Your mom leaving,
1137
00:43:19,250 --> 00:43:20,417
the RV fires.
1138
00:43:20,958 --> 00:43:22,610
I was actually
hoping to talk to you about it tonight,
1139
00:43:22,625 --> 00:43:24,458
but, uh, you sleep like a dead sailor.
1140
00:43:25,500 --> 00:43:26,958
You snore like my Uncle Stretch.
1141
00:43:27,833 --> 00:43:30,375
Have to get you
a sleep apnea machine for college.
1142
00:43:33,708 --> 00:43:34,708
College.
1143
00:43:36,958 --> 00:43:38,568
Where does all the time go, huh?
1144
00:43:38,583 --> 00:43:42,042
The time is 8:51 p. m.
1145
00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:55,110
"I'm at Sarah's.
1146
00:43:55,125 --> 00:43:57,417
I'm gonna get you pregnant
because I'm a virgin!"
1147
00:43:57,875 --> 00:43:58,875
Griffin.
1148
00:44:01,417 --> 00:44:03,000
Griffin, you son of a bitch.
1149
00:44:05,667 --> 00:44:06,667
Sarah.
1150
00:44:07,958 --> 00:44:10,152
Sarah Martin's Dank‐Ass Pre‐Game.
1151
00:44:10,167 --> 00:44:14,068
Whoo!
We're gonna live forever!
1152
00:44:14,083 --> 00:44:17,068
I'm also gonna live forever!
1153
00:44:17,083 --> 00:44:18,235
What the fuck?
1154
00:44:18,250 --> 00:44:19,943
No, get down. Come on.
This is our thing.
1155
00:44:19,958 --> 00:44:21,583
- This is our thing.
- Sorry.
1156
00:44:22,292 --> 00:44:23,777
Whoo!
1157
00:44:23,792 --> 00:44:26,027
♪ H. Mills Jealous playing on speakers ♪
1158
00:44:27,792 --> 00:44:31,417
Give me a YOLO
and one ass cheek on three.
1159
00:44:32,875 --> 00:44:34,777
Pretty cool car, man.
1160
00:44:34,792 --> 00:44:35,611
Yeah, thanks.
1161
00:44:35,626 --> 00:44:37,443
You know, this is
the last remaining automobile
1162
00:44:37,458 --> 00:44:39,152
from Xzibit's Pimp My Ride show.
1163
00:44:39,167 --> 00:44:41,902
Probably before your time.
I'm pretty bad with ages.
1164
00:44:41,917 --> 00:44:45,277
What are you guys, like, 36? 38?
1165
00:44:45,292 --> 00:44:48,485
Uh... 18.
Nice! That was a fun age.
1166
00:44:48,500 --> 00:44:49,750
Ah, you guys are totally legal!
1167
00:44:50,083 --> 00:44:52,000
You know what? Check this out!
1168
00:44:52,500 --> 00:44:55,110
On Binge night, I load up, baby.
1169
00:44:55,125 --> 00:44:56,693
Pompano, you know driving
under the influence
1170
00:44:56,708 --> 00:44:58,152
is still against the law tonight, right?
1171
00:44:58,167 --> 00:44:58,653
Yeah.
1172
00:44:58,668 --> 00:45:01,610
But the only way to avoid drivers
under the influence
1173
00:45:01,625 --> 00:45:03,417
is to be over the influence.
1174
00:45:03,875 --> 00:45:05,068
That was my senior quote.
1175
00:45:05,083 --> 00:45:07,985
I thought it was pretty wise
at the time, and I still do.
1176
00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:09,027
You wanna tug on that?
1177
00:45:09,042 --> 00:45:10,652
Tug it up.
Uh, no, I'm good...
1178
00:45:10,667 --> 00:45:11,667
Take it to tug town.
1179
00:45:12,042 --> 00:45:14,693
Besides, the cops are pretty lenient
tonight, anyways.
1180
00:45:14,708 --> 00:45:17,985
Especially when they find out that
my Uncle Rick invented the Chia Pet.
1181
00:45:18,000 --> 00:45:20,568
Wasn't really my uncle, he just was a man.
1182
00:45:20,583 --> 00:45:22,985
That's it. Suck it down pipe, guys!
1183
00:45:23,000 --> 00:45:24,943
Good, good, good. Suck it down pipe!
1184
00:45:24,958 --> 00:45:25,819
What?
1185
00:45:25,834 --> 00:45:27,735
Put it to your lips
and suck it down pipe!
1186
00:45:29,375 --> 00:45:30,542
Yeah.
1187
00:45:33,083 --> 00:45:34,152
Suck it down pipe!
1188
00:45:34,167 --> 00:45:35,527
Can you stop saying that?
1189
00:45:35,542 --> 00:45:37,152
Ha! Suck it down pipe!
1190
00:45:37,167 --> 00:45:38,402
Suck it down pipe!
I'm okay, man.
1191
00:45:38,417 --> 00:45:40,057
I don't want to cloud
my judgment anymore.
1192
00:45:40,292 --> 00:45:42,360
You know, the best way to deal
with troubles in your life
1193
00:45:42,375 --> 00:45:43,652
is lots of drugs.
1194
00:45:43,667 --> 00:45:45,568
Yes! This shit's gonna put you at ease.
1195
00:45:45,583 --> 00:45:47,860
Suck it down pipe.
You keep saying that, Pompano Mike.
1196
00:45:47,875 --> 00:45:49,068
I just don't know what it means.
1197
00:45:49,083 --> 00:45:50,360
Okay, I'll spell it out for you.
1198
00:45:50,375 --> 00:45:52,693
Here are the ABCs
of suckin' it down pipe!
1199
00:45:52,708 --> 00:45:55,402
Okay. You puff it in
all the way down to your lungs.
1200
00:45:55,417 --> 00:45:57,693
Let it marinate there
and then you release it.
1201
00:45:57,708 --> 00:45:59,735
You know, like a fart
during a family movie night,
1202
00:45:59,750 --> 00:46:01,667
I don't know, whatever you guys
wanted to watch!
1203
00:46:02,333 --> 00:46:06,568
♪ Hip‐hop music playing ♪
1204
00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:11,568
Yeah!
1205
00:46:11,583 --> 00:46:13,568
There you go.
Oh, Griffin.
1206
00:46:13,583 --> 00:46:14,361
Suck it down pipe.
1207
00:46:14,376 --> 00:46:15,943
Oh, "Gristen," I like you.
1208
00:46:15,958 --> 00:46:17,083
You got kids, Gristen?
1209
00:46:17,875 --> 00:46:19,193
My name's not Gristen.
1210
00:46:19,208 --> 00:46:20,818
No one's name is Gristen.
1211
00:46:20,833 --> 00:46:21,833
Gristen.
1212
00:46:24,083 --> 00:46:26,083
Uh, Gristen, can't make kids!
1213
00:46:26,792 --> 00:46:27,792
What?
1214
00:46:34,542 --> 00:46:35,860
Took you long enough.
1215
00:46:35,875 --> 00:46:37,277
Rumor has it that the girls are here?
1216
00:46:37,292 --> 00:46:38,069
And waiting.
1217
00:46:38,084 --> 00:46:39,360
Thank goodness.
1218
00:46:39,375 --> 00:46:42,235
Prepare to get
your brushes wet, ladies!
1219
00:46:46,083 --> 00:46:48,527
Keep going. Over here. Yes.
1220
00:46:48,542 --> 00:46:49,943
Right by those strawberries.
1221
00:46:49,958 --> 00:46:51,402
Have a seat.
Okay.
1222
00:46:51,417 --> 00:46:55,042
Whoa. I hope
the carpet matches the drapes.
1223
00:46:55,375 --> 00:46:58,250
This, uh, is a little bit more
of an adult party than I...
1224
00:46:58,833 --> 00:47:00,568
Yeah and you're still wearing
your pants.
1225
00:47:02,167 --> 00:47:03,735
Actually, though, um,
1226
00:47:03,750 --> 00:47:06,902
I'm, I'm here for my daughter,
Lena Carlsen.
1227
00:47:06,917 --> 00:47:07,778
Is she at the party?
1228
00:47:07,793 --> 00:47:09,360
Oh, there's a party.
1229
00:47:09,375 --> 00:47:10,527
In my pants.
1230
00:47:10,542 --> 00:47:12,375
Oh.
1231
00:47:13,208 --> 00:47:15,485
Listen, ladies, I'm actually
Principal Carlsen.
1232
00:47:15,500 --> 00:47:17,792
I'm from the high school.
Good morning, Principal Carlsen.
1233
00:47:18,625 --> 00:47:20,693
And, um, you know, I don't have
a problem with Binge‐ing,
1234
00:47:20,708 --> 00:47:21,902
obviously for you adults.
1235
00:47:21,917 --> 00:47:23,193
You ladies have‐Lot of...
1236
00:47:23,208 --> 00:47:26,277
Lot of you, uh, all girl group
have gotten together to Binge tonight,
1237
00:47:26,292 --> 00:47:28,027
which seems fine to me.
1238
00:47:28,042 --> 00:47:30,693
I do have a problem though,
uh, with my daughter,
1239
00:47:30,708 --> 00:47:33,125
and I think she might be
out here Binge‐ing.
1240
00:47:33,750 --> 00:47:35,027
Who hired this guy?
1241
00:47:35,042 --> 00:47:37,277
Dina did.
Just go with it.
1242
00:47:37,292 --> 00:47:41,318
Principal... can you give us detention?
1243
00:47:41,333 --> 00:47:43,125
Um, sure.
1244
00:47:43,542 --> 00:47:45,610
Uh, detentions, detentions,
detentions, detentions.
1245
00:47:45,625 --> 00:47:47,292
Whoo‐hoo!
1246
00:47:47,833 --> 00:47:49,153
I'll see all of you after school.
1247
00:47:50,000 --> 00:47:51,610
But I think on a serious note,
1248
00:47:51,625 --> 00:47:54,527
we all realize that
with the kids out there drinking
1249
00:47:54,542 --> 00:47:56,318
and doing the things
that they could be doing tonight,
1250
00:47:56,333 --> 00:47:58,318
things could get far worse
than a detention, yeah?
1251
00:47:58,333 --> 00:48:00,443
Yeah, I'm just not vibing
with a Principal.
1252
00:48:00,458 --> 00:48:01,458
But I'm the Principal.
1253
00:48:01,667 --> 00:48:03,068
I'm the Principal of the school.
I'm Principal Carlsen.
1254
00:48:03,083 --> 00:48:04,485
Okay, I'm the volleyball player.
1255
00:48:05,375 --> 00:48:06,361
No, I understand that.
1256
00:48:06,376 --> 00:48:08,735
No, guys, I'm, I'm the Principal.
I really am. I'm Principal Carlsen.
1257
00:48:08,750 --> 00:48:10,943
I'm not feeling it. I don't‐Is it me?
1258
00:48:10,958 --> 00:48:13,678
Ladies,
you're not gonna get me off the scent here.
1259
00:48:13,917 --> 00:48:14,903
I don't know where you're hiding the kids.
1260
00:48:14,918 --> 00:48:16,443
If they're upstairs?
If they're downstairs?
1261
00:48:16,458 --> 00:48:17,818
I'm gonna find them, okay.
1262
00:48:17,833 --> 00:48:19,235
So I'm asking you nicely.
1263
00:48:19,250 --> 00:48:20,402
Oh.
Right?
1264
00:48:20,417 --> 00:48:23,277
Stop playing around with me
and tell me where the kids are,
1265
00:48:23,292 --> 00:48:25,318
or I can make it pretty uncomfortable
here in town.
1266
00:48:25,333 --> 00:48:26,875
I'm also a city councilman.
1267
00:48:27,292 --> 00:48:30,568
I can find out if the property taxes
to this house is paid up or not.
1268
00:48:30,583 --> 00:48:32,318
I can have a detective follow you
and find out
1269
00:48:32,333 --> 00:48:34,652
who each and every one
of you girls is fucking,
1270
00:48:34,667 --> 00:48:36,375
and I'll turn some families upside down.
1271
00:48:36,667 --> 00:48:39,110
So, I'm gonna ask it one more time
before things start to turn
1272
00:48:39,125 --> 00:48:40,777
just a little bit uncomfortable.
1273
00:48:40,792 --> 00:48:41,860
Ready?
1274
00:48:41,875 --> 00:48:45,458
Where... is... my... daughter?
1275
00:48:46,958 --> 00:48:50,027
Yeah, see, now I love the passion
and you're really going for it,
1276
00:48:50,042 --> 00:48:51,318
but it's too dark now.
1277
00:48:51,333 --> 00:48:52,943
It's too dark. Bring it back.
1278
00:48:52,958 --> 00:48:54,167
Maybe back to Principal.
1279
00:48:54,500 --> 00:48:56,042
What are you talking about?
1280
00:48:56,667 --> 00:48:58,652
We really appreciate
your commitment to the part,
1281
00:48:58,667 --> 00:49:01,277
but we just wanna see a big swinging dick.
1282
00:49:01,292 --> 00:49:02,443
Just show us your dick.
1283
00:49:02,458 --> 00:49:06,193
Show your dick
and balls! Show your dick and balls!
1284
00:49:06,208 --> 00:49:08,068
Show your dick and balls!
1285
00:49:08,083 --> 00:49:10,777
Show your dick and balls!
Oh, you guys are here to paint somebody.
1286
00:49:10,792 --> 00:49:11,818
I got it.
Yes, yes.
1287
00:49:11,833 --> 00:49:13,235
Look, maybe we can do a little painting,
1288
00:49:13,250 --> 00:49:14,860
and then maybe I can ask
you girls some questions.
1289
00:49:14,875 --> 00:49:16,527
Fair?
1290
00:49:16,542 --> 00:49:17,777
Give me a minute. Give me a robe
1291
00:49:17,792 --> 00:49:19,860
and we'll see if we can't, uh, create
1292
00:49:19,875 --> 00:49:21,193
some magic alone tonight, okay.
1293
00:49:21,208 --> 00:49:22,028
Ooh, I like that.
1294
00:49:22,043 --> 00:49:23,193
I like all of you guys.
I'm proud of you.
1295
00:49:23,208 --> 00:49:25,193
Guess what? Guess what?
Guess what? Guess what? Guess what?
1296
00:49:25,208 --> 00:49:26,488
What?
You're all under detention!
1297
00:49:33,875 --> 00:49:35,277
Guys, I think I love weed.
1298
00:49:35,292 --> 00:49:36,860
Griffin loves weed!
1299
00:49:36,875 --> 00:49:39,833
The only thing is
it's not just weed. It's Zoom, so...
1300
00:49:40,708 --> 00:49:42,277
What?
A little "Super Grass."
1301
00:49:42,292 --> 00:49:43,028
Uh‐huh?
1302
00:49:43,043 --> 00:49:44,068
"Baby's Breath."
What?
1303
00:49:44,083 --> 00:49:46,152
"Fry," "Ozark," "Alabaster Arrow."
1304
00:49:46,167 --> 00:49:48,568
"Dirty Rubix Cube," "Disco Dave," "Spork!"
1305
00:49:48,583 --> 00:49:51,277
I have no clue
what you're talking about.
1306
00:49:51,292 --> 00:49:53,277
It's just your plain Jane
"Rainy Day Woman"
1307
00:49:53,292 --> 00:49:54,917
mixed with a little chunk of PCP.
1308
00:49:55,958 --> 00:49:57,708
- PCP?
- Yeah, PCP.
1309
00:49:58,167 --> 00:50:00,277
"Dragon's Breath," "Cheese Tacos."
1310
00:50:00,292 --> 00:50:02,193
"Chicken Tamales," "Hip Hip Hooray."
1311
00:50:02,208 --> 00:50:03,235
"Monkey Punch."
1312
00:50:03,250 --> 00:50:05,527
"Oral Fire Traffic,"
"Crunch Wrap Supreme."
1313
00:50:05,542 --> 00:50:06,985
"Deuces Wild," "Pirate's Booty."
1314
00:50:07,000 --> 00:50:09,068
"Toledo," "Nuts‐A‐Bunch"
"Los Lonely Boy."
1315
00:50:09,083 --> 00:50:09,986
"Diagon Alley."
1316
00:50:10,001 --> 00:50:12,068
"Road to Terabithia,"
"Nugget Rush."
1317
00:50:18,667 --> 00:50:19,528
Fucking shit!
1318
00:50:19,543 --> 00:50:20,750
Whoa!
1319
00:50:21,458 --> 00:50:23,610
Years from now,
when you talk about this,
1320
00:50:23,625 --> 00:50:24,625
and you will,
1321
00:50:25,167 --> 00:50:25,778
be kind.
1322
00:50:25,793 --> 00:50:30,402
Oh, and before you go, here's a
little gift from your favorite students.
1323
00:50:30,417 --> 00:50:31,278
Aww!
1324
00:50:31,293 --> 00:50:34,360
You ladies are so sweet but, honestly,
my time with you was gift enough.
1325
00:50:34,375 --> 00:50:35,153
So thank you.
1326
00:50:35,168 --> 00:50:36,985
Oh, trust me,
you're gonna want this one.
1327
00:50:37,000 --> 00:50:38,027
It's drugs.
1328
00:50:38,042 --> 00:50:40,610
Okay. Well, thank you so much.
Appreciate you guys.
1329
00:50:40,625 --> 00:50:41,652
Okay.
1330
00:50:41,667 --> 00:50:42,667
Oh!
1331
00:50:43,833 --> 00:50:44,319
Great night.
1332
00:50:44,334 --> 00:50:45,527
Okay, take care.
1333
00:50:47,875 --> 00:50:49,500
This was so fun!
1334
00:50:56,375 --> 00:51:01,318
♪ Rock music playing ♪
1335
00:51:18,208 --> 00:51:19,542
Come back here, we're bored.
1336
00:51:19,875 --> 00:51:21,693
What?
Not you. Pompano.
1337
00:51:21,708 --> 00:51:24,068
We need
some caveman nuts back here.
1338
00:51:24,083 --> 00:51:25,277
One of the downfalls of the job.
1339
00:51:25,292 --> 00:51:26,485
Take the wheel, Jesus.
1340
00:51:26,500 --> 00:51:29,068
No, wait. Sure you don't want
two people?
1341
00:51:32,125 --> 00:51:33,333
Ah, fuck!
1342
00:51:33,750 --> 00:51:35,693
Goddamn.
1343
00:51:35,708 --> 00:51:37,958
- Hi, handsome.
- Hey, ladies, what's up?
1344
00:51:39,250 --> 00:51:40,917
You're so fucking silly.
1345
00:51:41,625 --> 00:51:42,860
This is bad, man.
1346
00:51:42,875 --> 00:51:44,485
She's not trying to figure out
a witty response.
1347
00:51:44,500 --> 00:51:46,652
She's trying to figure out how to tell me
never to talk to her again.
1348
00:51:46,667 --> 00:51:48,318
All right, man, wait.
Take it easy, okay.
1349
00:51:48,333 --> 00:51:50,235
That's‐that's...
that's the paranoia kicking in.
1350
00:51:50,250 --> 00:51:52,818
Send her a text message
with a heart emoji and you're in.
1351
00:51:52,833 --> 00:51:54,360
I can't text a promposal,
1352
00:51:54,375 --> 00:51:56,318
especially after the whole
auto‐correct debacle.
1353
00:51:56,333 --> 00:51:58,818
If you don't wanna text her, then just
pick up the phone and call.
1354
00:51:58,833 --> 00:52:01,028
That's what I'm gonna do. That's what I gotta
do. Man, pick up the phone and call her.
1355
00:52:01,043 --> 00:52:03,235
Okay, here we go, here we go.
It's ringing, it's ringing.
1356
00:52:03,250 --> 00:52:05,068
Griff, something you wanna say?
1357
00:52:05,083 --> 00:52:07,027
Yeah, that's actually why I was calling.
1358
00:52:07,042 --> 00:52:08,860
You think you can just say
whatever you want over text
1359
00:52:08,875 --> 00:52:10,110
because we're not face to face?
1360
00:52:10,125 --> 00:52:12,568
It was just an auto‐correct.
I would never‐I would never have ty...
1361
00:52:12,583 --> 00:52:13,833
I would never get you pregnant.
1362
00:52:14,458 --> 00:52:16,652
I know. I'm just kidding with you.
1363
00:52:16,667 --> 00:52:19,292
I thought it'd be funny to not respond,
you know, make you wonder.
1364
00:52:20,000 --> 00:52:21,777
Okay. That's funny.
1365
00:52:21,792 --> 00:52:23,193
You've‐That's very funny.
1366
00:52:23,208 --> 00:52:24,652
Yeah, I bet
I made you nervous there, huh?
1367
00:52:24,667 --> 00:52:27,235
No, I don't, I don't get
too nervous in general so...
1368
00:52:27,250 --> 00:52:29,292
Man, get to the point.
Just ask the question.
1369
00:52:29,875 --> 00:52:32,610
Hey, so it's been
a pretty wild night so far.
1370
00:52:32,625 --> 00:52:34,527
This isn't how
I was planning on doing it but I,
1371
00:52:34,542 --> 00:52:35,943
I didn't get a chance to earlier.
1372
00:52:35,958 --> 00:52:37,568
Because of the confetti at the lockers,
1373
00:52:37,583 --> 00:52:39,610
but I was just wondering
if no one else has asked...
1374
00:52:39,625 --> 00:52:40,902
You bitch!
1375
00:52:40,917 --> 00:52:41,736
What?
1376
00:52:41,751 --> 00:52:44,152
Oh, what the fuck?
1377
00:52:44,167 --> 00:52:44,778
Is he dead?
1378
00:52:44,793 --> 00:52:46,027
Andrew!
1379
00:52:46,042 --> 00:52:47,735
Watch the fucking road!
1380
00:52:47,750 --> 00:52:49,068
Holy shit!
1381
00:52:53,208 --> 00:52:54,527
Put his foot on the brake!
1382
00:52:56,583 --> 00:52:58,110
Pulp Fiction him, Griffin!
We're gonna Pulp Fiction him!
1383
00:52:58,125 --> 00:52:59,205
That's what we're gonna do.
1384
00:53:01,625 --> 00:53:03,610
We're gonna die!
We're gonna Pulp Fiction him.
1385
00:53:14,125 --> 00:53:15,443
Oh, you're okay.
1386
00:53:21,083 --> 00:53:23,943
Goddammit!
1387
00:53:25,417 --> 00:53:27,943
- What was that?
- Oh my god.
1388
00:53:27,958 --> 00:53:28,819
You okay?
1389
00:53:28,834 --> 00:53:30,434
- Open this door?
- Griff, you all right?
1390
00:53:33,917 --> 00:53:35,542
Come on! Get out, guys!
1391
00:53:36,583 --> 00:53:37,583
Ow!
1392
00:53:41,250 --> 00:53:42,250
All right.
1393
00:53:46,583 --> 00:53:47,943
Oh no.
1394
00:53:47,958 --> 00:53:49,527
Oh no, no, no, no, no.
1395
00:53:49,542 --> 00:53:51,235
What‐What have we...
What have we done?
1396
00:53:51,250 --> 00:53:52,069
Did we just kill an innocent cow?
1397
00:53:52,084 --> 00:53:54,402
We are not bad people, Lord,
we just made a mistake.
1398
00:53:54,417 --> 00:53:56,360
Hags, what the hell?
1399
00:53:56,375 --> 00:53:58,152
- The driver drugged Andrew.
- No, I didn't!
1400
00:53:58,167 --> 00:53:59,235
I didn't do anything.
1401
00:53:59,250 --> 00:54:01,027
Did you guys kill a cow?
1402
00:54:01,042 --> 00:54:02,735
Fix that cow.
1403
00:54:02,750 --> 00:54:03,943
Wait, what about the drugs?
1404
00:54:03,958 --> 00:54:06,818
No! No more drugs for us tonight!
1405
00:54:06,833 --> 00:54:09,250
I'm... I'm with Griffin
on this one, Hags.
1406
00:54:09,958 --> 00:54:10,958
Not for us.
1407
00:54:12,417 --> 00:54:13,943
What?
What?
1408
00:54:13,958 --> 00:54:15,110
Come on, Bessie.
1409
00:54:15,125 --> 00:54:17,860
You guys are fucking idiots.
1410
00:54:17,875 --> 00:54:18,819
We know!
1411
00:54:18,834 --> 00:54:19,860
We're trying!
1412
00:54:19,875 --> 00:54:22,193
I'm gonna put some cocaine in his eye.
Fix the cow!
1413
00:54:22,208 --> 00:54:24,985
Everybody, please stop yelling.
1414
00:54:25,000 --> 00:54:26,902
Okay, that worked. Give me something else.
1415
00:54:26,917 --> 00:54:28,152
Wake that cow up! Fix it!
1416
00:54:28,167 --> 00:54:28,778
Come on, Bessie.
1417
00:54:28,793 --> 00:54:30,235
I'm pretty sure Lena thinks
I called her a bitch.
1418
00:54:30,250 --> 00:54:31,069
Live, cow!
1419
00:54:31,084 --> 00:54:32,527
Why won't he live?
1420
00:54:32,542 --> 00:54:34,652
We gotta give her more drugs.
1421
00:54:34,667 --> 00:54:35,860
Come on, guys! Don't let her die.
1422
00:54:35,875 --> 00:54:38,443
You shut the fuck up, Pompano! We know!
1423
00:54:38,458 --> 00:54:39,698
I'm gonna Pulp Fiction the cow.
1424
00:54:45,208 --> 00:54:46,375
Ew!
1425
00:54:47,583 --> 00:54:48,667
Ow!
1426
00:54:49,583 --> 00:54:51,277
You okay?
It's alive!
1427
00:54:51,292 --> 00:54:52,750
Oh my god, it's alive!
1428
00:54:55,083 --> 00:54:56,027
It's alive!
1429
00:54:56,042 --> 00:54:57,042
Oh my god!
1430
00:54:58,042 --> 00:54:59,360
- Hey, cow!
- Yes!
1431
00:54:59,375 --> 00:55:01,235
Come on, girl.
1432
00:55:02,458 --> 00:55:03,542
It's a miracle.
1433
00:55:04,375 --> 00:55:06,375
She's even better
than she was before!
1434
00:55:10,959 --> 00:55:13,083
Oh! Oh god!
1435
00:55:13,375 --> 00:55:14,278
I'm gonna throw up.
1436
00:55:14,293 --> 00:55:16,500
You guys are poison.
Fuck you, cow killers.
1437
00:55:19,792 --> 00:55:21,318
You ruined our perfect night.
1438
00:55:21,333 --> 00:55:23,402
This is why nobody fucks with you.
1439
00:55:23,417 --> 00:55:25,542
You're always gonna be virgins!
1440
00:55:27,583 --> 00:55:29,458
Oh no!
1441
00:55:34,333 --> 00:55:35,708
I can get some more...
1442
00:55:36,292 --> 00:55:38,152
Holy shit!
1443
00:55:38,167 --> 00:55:40,000
Is that Principal Carlsen?
1444
00:55:41,000 --> 00:55:42,000
Hey, guys.
1445
00:55:44,167 --> 00:55:45,807
- Hey, Tyler. How are you fellas?
- Hi.
1446
00:55:46,417 --> 00:55:49,860
Just curious, do you guys know any of the,
uh, parties that are happening tonight?
1447
00:55:49,875 --> 00:55:51,860
Tonight? I haven't heard anything.
1448
00:55:51,875 --> 00:55:53,292
No? No idea.
No.
1449
00:55:54,292 --> 00:55:55,292
Oh!
1450
00:55:56,583 --> 00:55:59,235
Do you think because I participate
in Wacky Wednesdays
1451
00:55:59,250 --> 00:56:00,777
I can't get a little crazy, huh?
1452
00:56:00,792 --> 00:56:03,985
Just because I participate
in Wacky Wednesdays
1453
00:56:04,000 --> 00:56:06,568
doesn't mean I can't change
the course of your life!
1454
00:56:06,583 --> 00:56:08,402
Does that make sense, you stupid ass?
1455
00:56:08,417 --> 00:56:11,042
Look, most people are going
to Carnegie Library.
1456
00:56:11,333 --> 00:56:12,333
All right?
1457
00:56:12,708 --> 00:56:14,000
Smart.
1458
00:56:14,458 --> 00:56:15,625
Hiding in plain sight.
1459
00:56:16,292 --> 00:56:18,500
Come on, big guy. That wasn't so bad.
1460
00:56:19,000 --> 00:56:21,520
Proud of the way you've conducted yourself
on and off the field.
1461
00:56:22,208 --> 00:56:23,458
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
1462
00:56:24,167 --> 00:56:27,167
What's this? You guys gettin'
into some slamballs?
1463
00:56:27,625 --> 00:56:29,542
Run your pockets.
What's a slamball?
1464
00:56:30,375 --> 00:56:31,625
This is how it starts.
1465
00:56:32,083 --> 00:56:33,125
Little sip of wine,
1466
00:56:33,417 --> 00:56:34,500
some slamballs,
1467
00:56:34,958 --> 00:56:36,208
and then you leave your family
1468
00:56:36,667 --> 00:56:38,750
for an ATV instructor named Gabriel.
1469
00:56:39,208 --> 00:56:40,875
And then you stop being a mom
1470
00:56:41,333 --> 00:56:43,000
and participating in the family
1471
00:56:43,500 --> 00:56:46,610
because you're so ashamed
from a life of porn,
1472
00:56:46,625 --> 00:56:48,443
you can't look your daughter
in the eye anymore.
1473
00:56:48,458 --> 00:56:50,443
And guess who gets stuck holding the bag?
1474
00:56:50,458 --> 00:56:51,458
Dear old dad.
1475
00:56:52,292 --> 00:56:53,500
Is that gonna be you?
1476
00:56:54,417 --> 00:56:55,708
Are you gonna be a mom
1477
00:56:56,833 --> 00:56:58,083
that leaves her family?
1478
00:57:04,625 --> 00:57:06,025
Let me ask you a question, big boy.
1479
00:57:06,833 --> 00:57:07,833
Look at me.
1480
00:57:08,208 --> 00:57:09,777
Are you a mom that could walk out
on her family?
1481
00:57:09,792 --> 00:57:10,958
No. No, sir.
1482
00:57:12,333 --> 00:57:15,402
Are you a mom that could walk out
on his family?
1483
00:57:15,417 --> 00:57:16,610
I would never leave you.
1484
00:57:16,625 --> 00:57:18,652
The fuck makes you think
I'm talking about me?
1485
00:57:18,667 --> 00:57:20,167
I thought we were just role‐playing.
1486
00:57:20,750 --> 00:57:21,694
I know it wasn't you.
1487
00:57:21,709 --> 00:57:24,318
If I was a mother,
I would never leave my family.
1488
00:57:24,333 --> 00:57:27,777
That's all I know. Here,
these are, these are all my drugs.
1489
00:57:27,792 --> 00:57:30,000
I'm sorry I lied to you,
Principal Carlsen.
1490
00:57:31,750 --> 00:57:33,402
Why didn't we just start here
1491
00:57:33,417 --> 00:57:36,125
and skip all the hitting in the
throat stuff, huh?
1492
00:57:36,875 --> 00:57:38,750
You guys have a great night, okay.
1493
00:57:39,667 --> 00:57:41,307
You know what, we'll do better next time.
1494
00:57:43,125 --> 00:57:44,125
Oh.
1495
00:57:44,625 --> 00:57:46,458
And if anybody asks you guys,
1496
00:57:47,250 --> 00:57:49,000
just let 'em know
that the Panther sent you.
1497
00:57:49,667 --> 00:57:52,083
Oh!
1498
00:57:52,833 --> 00:57:55,985
Who's the panther?
Where's he supposed to send us?
1499
00:57:56,000 --> 00:57:58,000
- Oh shit!
- Did you see that?
1500
00:58:03,583 --> 00:58:07,000
We have just experienced
a serious trauma, people.
1501
00:58:07,625 --> 00:58:10,235
- Hey, why won't anybody pick us up?
- ...dickless!
1502
00:58:10,250 --> 00:58:13,985
Uber says it's gonna take two hours
and it's surging 350.
1503
00:58:14,000 --> 00:58:15,277
This night slaps.
1504
00:58:15,292 --> 00:58:16,860
Best night ever.
1505
00:58:16,875 --> 00:58:18,833
Griff, you good?
1506
00:58:19,542 --> 00:58:20,486
Mark fucking Maynard.
1507
00:58:20,501 --> 00:58:21,818
This night slaps!
1508
00:58:21,833 --> 00:58:24,110
Night of our lives!
Whoo!
1509
00:58:24,125 --> 00:58:25,152
Who else could it be?
1510
00:58:25,167 --> 00:58:27,902
Listen, man,
Mark did not ask her to prom,
1511
00:58:27,917 --> 00:58:29,042
I know that for a fact.
1512
00:58:29,917 --> 00:58:34,542
Look, we cannot give up now.
We are 6.8 miles away from that party.
1513
00:58:35,292 --> 00:58:37,443
And then when Lena sees you,
there's no way she can say no to you.
1514
00:58:37,458 --> 00:58:39,068
Well, what would that
even look like, man?
1515
00:58:39,083 --> 00:58:40,402
"Hey, Lena, it's me.
1516
00:58:40,417 --> 00:58:42,193
"I'm really sorry for calling you
a bitch earlier.
1517
00:58:42,208 --> 00:58:44,777
"It's probably because I was high
off my ass on PCP.
1518
00:58:44,792 --> 00:58:46,735
"I almost just died
after crashing into a cow
1519
00:58:46,750 --> 00:58:49,193
"and they got absolutely fucking
demolished by an 18 wheeler
1520
00:58:49,208 --> 00:58:51,985
"and as I'm sure you've noticed by now,
I'm missing an entire fucking eyebrow.
1521
00:58:52,000 --> 00:58:52,944
"But hey, don't worry about it.
1522
00:58:52,959 --> 00:58:54,693
"It'll probably grow back
in six to twelve months.
1523
00:58:54,708 --> 00:58:55,792
You wanna go to prom?"
1524
00:58:57,000 --> 00:58:58,610
Hey, you sold me.
I'd say yes.
1525
00:58:58,625 --> 00:58:59,625
Mm‐hmm.
1526
00:59:02,251 --> 00:59:03,833
- Ow! What the shit?
- Griffin.
1527
00:59:04,208 --> 00:59:05,527
Oh, something's in my ass.
What?
1528
00:59:05,542 --> 00:59:06,902
My entire ass is on fire!
1529
00:59:06,917 --> 00:59:08,292
- Oh, that hurts...
- Hey!
1530
00:59:08,792 --> 00:59:12,068
Hey, lookie‐lookie.
1531
00:59:12,083 --> 00:59:13,083
Big bro.
1532
00:59:13,167 --> 00:59:15,448
My good friend here,
he wanted to ask his girlfriend to...
1533
00:59:17,042 --> 00:59:18,958
Andrew? Andrew!
1534
00:59:20,625 --> 00:59:22,583
Oh no!
1535
00:59:23,000 --> 00:59:24,277
Get 'em in the truck.
1536
00:59:33,333 --> 00:59:35,860
Will I be able to drive
if I eat two Binge‐A‐Ritos?
1537
00:59:35,875 --> 00:59:37,167
I would not recommend it.
1538
00:59:42,417 --> 00:59:43,958
You're so stupid.
1539
00:59:44,250 --> 00:59:45,236
Binge‐A‐Ritos.
1540
00:59:45,251 --> 00:59:46,667
Six for 12 bucks.
1541
00:59:47,125 --> 00:59:50,333
Meat, cheese, romaine lettuce,
and magic mushrooms.
1542
00:59:52,417 --> 00:59:53,485
Magic mushrooms?
1543
00:59:53,500 --> 00:59:55,068
Bon appetit!
1544
00:59:55,083 --> 00:59:56,527
Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.
1545
00:59:56,542 --> 00:59:58,125
You're going on a little trip.
1546
00:59:58,625 --> 01:00:00,985
They're probably only dusted
with magic mushrooms.
1547
01:00:01,000 --> 01:00:03,693
I doubt that the Wall of Tacos
would risk their impeccable reputation
1548
01:00:03,708 --> 01:00:04,777
by poisoning people.
1549
01:00:04,792 --> 01:00:05,943
♪ Marcus' Grains of Sand playing ♪
1550
01:00:05,958 --> 01:00:10,402
♪ Your eyes so soft and blue
that I once knew ♪
1551
01:00:10,417 --> 01:00:15,375
♪ Like a dazzling light
within a pool of liquid night ♪
1552
01:00:17,000 --> 01:00:19,943
♪ But when I reach for you,
you disappear ♪
1553
01:00:20,918 --> 01:00:23,625
♪ Then reappear through shades of blue ♪
1554
01:00:23,917 --> 01:00:27,708
♪ I follow you till you're out of sight ♪
1555
01:00:28,417 --> 01:00:29,652
Whoo!
1556
01:00:29,667 --> 01:00:33,402
Twenty‐nine Binge‐A‐Ritos!
They broke the fucking record!
1557
01:00:33,417 --> 01:00:34,485
Oh shit.
1558
01:00:34,500 --> 01:00:35,568
Yeah!
1559
01:00:35,583 --> 01:00:38,277
I really don't think we should be doing
this many drugs.
1560
01:00:38,292 --> 01:00:40,692
"I don't think
we should be doing anymore drugs."
1561
01:00:40,833 --> 01:00:41,611
That's you!
1562
01:00:41,626 --> 01:00:45,417
- Seb, please, just let us go.
- "Seb, please, just let us go."
1563
01:00:46,292 --> 01:00:49,208
That's also you,
you fucking piece of shit.
1564
01:00:49,542 --> 01:00:52,027
Do you have any idea how long
we've been training for this Gauntlet?
1565
01:00:52,042 --> 01:00:55,458
Okay. No, that's it. I'm done.
I gotta go to the bathroom.
1566
01:00:56,125 --> 01:00:57,069
Oh!
1567
01:00:57,084 --> 01:00:58,860
Hey, he's still back there.
1568
01:00:58,875 --> 01:01:01,443
- Now it's payback time.
- Now it's payback time?
1569
01:01:01,458 --> 01:01:03,152
What have we been doing here
the whole fucking time?
1570
01:01:03,167 --> 01:01:03,944
Preparing.
1571
01:01:03,959 --> 01:01:05,193
Preparing for what?
1572
01:01:05,208 --> 01:01:07,027
The Siamese Tootsie Roll.
1573
01:01:09,000 --> 01:01:10,625
Is that a dessert here?
1574
01:01:12,792 --> 01:01:15,375
♪ Club music playing ♪
1575
01:01:18,250 --> 01:01:20,458
Hey, Becky. Becky?
1576
01:01:20,875 --> 01:01:23,193
What?
I'm just gonna go home.
1577
01:01:23,208 --> 01:01:24,527
No, no, no! You can't leave now.
1578
01:01:24,542 --> 01:01:26,610
Yeah, I just need this
to charge a little more,
1579
01:01:26,625 --> 01:01:27,777
and then I'm gonna call an Uber.
No, you can't...
1580
01:01:27,792 --> 01:01:28,943
No, you can't leave now. No.
1581
01:01:28,958 --> 01:01:30,943
He wouldn't have asked you to come
if he wasn't gonna be here.
1582
01:01:30,958 --> 01:01:33,652
Okay. Well, maybe Mr. Promposal
just got drunk or something.
1583
01:01:33,667 --> 01:01:35,652
No, stay. Just stay a little longer!
1584
01:01:35,667 --> 01:01:37,125
I'll be right with you in a second.
1585
01:01:40,208 --> 01:01:41,194
Where did they get
all this tape from?
1586
01:01:41,209 --> 01:01:43,042
I gotta go to the bathroom now.
1587
01:01:43,625 --> 01:01:44,194
Griffin?
1588
01:01:44,209 --> 01:01:45,777
Hags, you need to be
an adult about this.
1589
01:01:45,792 --> 01:01:46,694
Do not shit...
1590
01:01:46,709 --> 01:01:48,068
I need to go to the bathroom too.
1591
01:01:48,083 --> 01:01:49,652
No. Andrew, no. Andrew.
1592
01:01:49,667 --> 01:01:51,583
Do not. Stay strong, Andrew.
1593
01:01:53,834 --> 01:01:55,110
♪ Shit/Poop My Pants
by the F Heads playing ♪
1594
01:01:55,125 --> 01:01:57,485
♪ I think I shit my pants,
gonna need new pants ♪
1595
01:01:58,708 --> 01:02:01,000
♪ I shit my pants ♪
1596
01:02:05,667 --> 01:02:06,985
You fucking heathens.
1597
01:02:09,625 --> 01:02:11,250
You're all heathens.
1598
01:02:12,042 --> 01:02:13,500
♪ And now it's time ♪
1599
01:02:14,583 --> 01:02:15,902
All right, all right.
1600
01:02:15,917 --> 01:02:16,611
Thank you, man.
1601
01:02:16,626 --> 01:02:17,958
Yeah, it's no problem.
1602
01:02:21,583 --> 01:02:22,403
Come this way.
1603
01:02:22,418 --> 01:02:24,943
Hey,
it's the Siamese Tootsie Roll guys.
1604
01:02:24,958 --> 01:02:25,569
All right.
1605
01:02:25,584 --> 01:02:27,917
"Siamese Tootsie Roll guys?"
1606
01:02:28,458 --> 01:02:29,458
We have a name.
1607
01:02:29,833 --> 01:02:32,318
- Oh yeah! You're going viral.
- You happy, Hags?
1608
01:02:32,333 --> 01:02:35,318
Hey, look, at least we'll be recognized
tonight at the Library Party.
1609
01:02:35,333 --> 01:02:36,777
I don't care about recognition, man.
1610
01:02:36,792 --> 01:02:39,235
I just want to get to this stupid party
and ask Lena to prom!
1611
01:02:39,250 --> 01:02:41,777
You've been saying that every day
for the past five months.
1612
01:02:41,792 --> 01:02:43,318
You know, you're kind of
an asshole, man.
1613
01:02:43,333 --> 01:02:45,417
Well, if it wasn't for this asshole,
1614
01:02:46,125 --> 01:02:48,902
you'd still be at home tonight
doing the Root Beer Goat.
1615
01:02:48,917 --> 01:02:51,193
Because of you, the dean of Brown
is gonna look up my name
1616
01:02:51,208 --> 01:02:53,068
and see me, you, and Andrew
taped ass to ass,
1617
01:02:53,083 --> 01:02:55,360
rolling down the street blindfolded
on Binge Night.
1618
01:02:55,375 --> 01:02:57,235
Principal Carlsen's gonna see that.
Everyone will.
1619
01:02:57,250 --> 01:02:58,568
That could ruin my fucking life.
1620
01:02:58,583 --> 01:03:01,652
If I'm even alive after the 30
mushroom‐filled burritos we just ate.
1621
01:03:01,667 --> 01:03:03,360
Oh, I'm sorry
1622
01:03:03,375 --> 01:03:04,943
for trying to add some fun
1623
01:03:04,958 --> 01:03:06,943
to your miserable existence, Griffin.
What?
1624
01:03:06,958 --> 01:03:08,860
What part of anything
about tonight was fun?
1625
01:03:08,875 --> 01:03:10,110
Andrew, are you having fun?
1626
01:03:10,125 --> 01:03:12,443
Ah, fucking Binge, man.
1627
01:03:12,458 --> 01:03:13,167
You see?
1628
01:03:13,458 --> 01:03:14,860
You see?
You didn't even want him to come.
1629
01:03:14,875 --> 01:03:17,735
Of course I wanted him to come.
You said he was hurting our cool factor.
1630
01:03:17,750 --> 01:03:20,292
And you only wanted him
for the wristbands!
1631
01:03:22,750 --> 01:03:25,860
If you guys didn't want me to come,
you could have just said that.
1632
01:03:25,875 --> 01:03:27,402
That's not true.
That's not it, Andrew.
1633
01:03:27,417 --> 01:03:29,735
No, I got along fine just by myself.
1634
01:03:29,750 --> 01:03:32,583
I don't like being somewhere
I'm not appreciated.
1635
01:03:33,583 --> 01:03:35,263
Andrew, that's not what we meant.
1636
01:03:36,875 --> 01:03:38,042
Andrew!
1637
01:03:38,625 --> 01:03:41,917
Goddammit, Griffin. This is the bullshit
I'm talking about.
1638
01:03:45,208 --> 01:03:46,208
You know what?
1639
01:03:47,042 --> 01:03:48,750
I'm going to that party tonight.
1640
01:03:49,333 --> 01:03:50,417
Without you.
1641
01:03:53,667 --> 01:03:55,500
We could've been legends tonight, man.
1642
01:03:57,458 --> 01:03:59,375
We could have crushed that Gauntlet.
1643
01:04:03,542 --> 01:04:05,792
Griffin, this is the bullshit
I'm talking about!
1644
01:04:06,667 --> 01:04:07,667
You know what?
1645
01:04:08,417 --> 01:04:10,458
I'm going to that party tonight.
1646
01:04:15,625 --> 01:04:19,042
If you guys didn't want me to come,
why didn't you just say that?
1647
01:04:20,750 --> 01:04:22,318
Root Beer Goat.
1648
01:04:22,333 --> 01:04:23,777
You're going on a little trip.
1649
01:04:23,792 --> 01:04:25,292
It's okay. You're just dying.
1650
01:04:26,292 --> 01:04:27,532
I don't wanna be a little girl.
1651
01:04:29,792 --> 01:04:31,752
- You're going on a little trip!
- Root Beer Goat.
1652
01:04:35,042 --> 01:04:37,875
Dammit, Griffin, this is
the bullshit I'm talking about.
1653
01:04:42,250 --> 01:04:44,943
♪ Mystical music playing ♪
1654
01:04:44,958 --> 01:04:47,292
Your entire world turns
into a musical.
1655
01:04:51,583 --> 01:04:53,667
♪ I just need a little change ♪
1656
01:04:54,083 --> 01:04:56,068
♪ So that I can catch the bus ♪
1657
01:04:56,083 --> 01:04:57,985
♪ Check out this kid's getup ♪
1658
01:04:58,000 --> 01:05:01,193
♪ Looks like he might have some scratch ♪
1659
01:05:01,208 --> 01:05:02,943
♪ Give us all your money, kid ♪
1660
01:05:02,958 --> 01:05:05,568
♪ Sorry, not today, man ♪
1661
01:05:05,583 --> 01:05:07,943
♪ Wait, why are we singing? ♪
1662
01:05:07,958 --> 01:05:13,417
♪ What the fuck is happening? ♪
1663
01:05:14,375 --> 01:05:18,318
♪ He said, let's Binge, Griffin,
we'll have a rocking time ♪
1664
01:05:18,333 --> 01:05:21,943
♪ On the one night of the year
when railing lines is not a crime ♪
1665
01:05:21,958 --> 01:05:25,402
♪ Soon he's off to college
while I vanish from his brain ♪
1666
01:05:25,417 --> 01:05:29,027
♪ He'll be getting knowledge
and remember me as lame ♪
1667
01:05:29,042 --> 01:05:30,735
♪ We thought it'd be terrific ♪
1668
01:05:30,750 --> 01:05:32,652
♪ To be substance abusers ♪
1669
01:05:32,667 --> 01:05:34,318
♪ But that was quite horrific ♪
1670
01:05:34,333 --> 01:05:36,110
♪ You made us look like losers ♪
1671
01:05:36,125 --> 01:05:38,068
♪ The best night ever ♪
1672
01:05:38,083 --> 01:05:39,652
♪ Turned out pretty rotten ♪
1673
01:05:39,667 --> 01:05:41,652
♪ Now when he's with
new friends at Brown ♪
1674
01:05:41,667 --> 01:05:43,542
♪ I will be forgotten ♪
1675
01:05:46,667 --> 01:05:49,693
♪ I hate you so much, Hags,
you've probably ruined my life ♪
1676
01:05:49,708 --> 01:05:53,027
♪ I almost asked Lena to prom
and then to be my wife ♪
1677
01:05:53,042 --> 01:05:54,402
♪ What the fuck is happening? ♪
1678
01:05:54,417 --> 01:05:56,110
♪ My brain's completely fried!
1679
01:05:56,125 --> 01:05:59,485
♪ The night became unhinged,
the thought just made me cringe ♪
1680
01:05:59,500 --> 01:06:03,208
♪ It's not how it should be on the Binge ♪
1681
01:06:04,667 --> 01:06:08,110
♪ All I ever wanted were some friends ♪
1682
01:06:08,125 --> 01:06:12,458
♪ Pals with me till the very end ♪
1683
01:06:12,875 --> 01:06:16,777
♪ How I fix this now?
I really don't know how ♪
1684
01:06:16,792 --> 01:06:19,193
♪ We tore off an eyebrow ♪
1685
01:06:19,208 --> 01:06:23,485
♪ And killed a lovely cow ♪
1686
01:06:24,833 --> 01:06:26,652
♪ We're gonna get high, gonna get baked ♪
1687
01:06:26,667 --> 01:06:28,652
♪ Till every inch of us just aches ♪
1688
01:06:28,667 --> 01:06:30,568
♪ Gonna do lines, gonna pop tabs ♪
1689
01:06:30,583 --> 01:06:32,443
♪ Ingest everything we grab ♪
1690
01:06:32,458 --> 01:06:34,360
♪ Have some shrooms,
then smoke some crack ♪
1691
01:06:34,375 --> 01:06:36,360
♪ Chase the Dragon and shoot some smack ♪
1692
01:06:36,375 --> 01:06:40,027
♪ We won't stop till all our brains
are fucking fried ♪
1693
01:06:40,042 --> 01:06:43,527
♪ 'Cause the only thing that matters
when we binge ♪
1694
01:06:43,542 --> 01:06:44,792
♪ Is we're gonna get high ♪
1695
01:06:45,875 --> 01:06:49,402
♪ If only I was brave
I could've asked her to the prom ♪
1696
01:06:49,417 --> 01:06:52,943
♪ I missed my opportunity
and now my boner's gone ♪
1697
01:06:52,958 --> 01:06:56,652
♪ They ripped my fucking eyebrow off
I'm stuck singing this ballad ♪
1698
01:06:56,667 --> 01:07:00,193
♪ While Lena's off with someone else
I'm tossing my own salad ♪
1699
01:07:00,208 --> 01:07:03,860
♪ This will be the best prom ever ♪
1700
01:07:03,875 --> 01:07:07,277
♪ That promposal was so damn clever ♪
1701
01:07:07,292 --> 01:07:10,818
♪ But not knowing who,
I'm so glad it was you ♪
1702
01:07:10,833 --> 01:07:14,693
♪ And not someone like Griffin or Trevor ♪
1703
01:07:14,708 --> 01:07:19,485
♪ We'll live happily ever ♪
1704
01:07:21,042 --> 01:07:23,985
Nooo!
1705
01:07:24,000 --> 01:07:27,318
♪ Sarah, my sweet, you're probably
with some foreign guy ♪
1706
01:07:27,333 --> 01:07:30,818
♪ You thought it'd be a treat,
maybe Swede, maybe Thai ♪
1707
01:07:32,917 --> 01:07:36,735
♪ Best night ever
maybe a one night stand ♪
1708
01:07:36,750 --> 01:07:39,068
♪ Who will be my new endeavor? ♪
1709
01:07:39,083 --> 01:07:41,068
♪ Could be a woman or a man ♪
1710
01:07:41,083 --> 01:07:45,485
♪ I don't give a fuck, maybe both ♪
1711
01:07:45,500 --> 01:07:49,708
♪ A three‐way ought to float my boat ♪
1712
01:07:53,208 --> 01:07:55,110
♪ We're gonna get high, gonna get baked ♪
1713
01:07:55,125 --> 01:07:57,068
♪ Till every inch of us just aches ♪
1714
01:07:57,083 --> 01:07:58,943
♪ Gonna do lines, gonna pop tabs ♪
1715
01:07:58,958 --> 01:08:00,818
♪ Ingest everything we grab ♪
1716
01:08:00,833 --> 01:08:02,693
♪ Have some shrooms,
then smoke some crack ♪
1717
01:08:02,708 --> 01:08:04,568
♪ Chase the Dragon and shoot some smack ♪
1718
01:08:04,583 --> 01:08:06,443
♪ We're gonna get high, gonna get baked ♪
1719
01:08:06,458 --> 01:08:08,402
♪ Till every inch of us just aches ♪
1720
01:08:08,417 --> 01:08:10,277
♪ Gonna do lines, gonna pop tabs ♪
1721
01:08:10,292 --> 01:08:12,193
♪ Ingest everything we grab ♪
1722
01:08:12,208 --> 01:08:14,027
♪ Cook some meth, how 'bout black tar ♪
1723
01:08:14,042 --> 01:08:18,318
♪ While giving hand jobs in the car ♪
1724
01:08:18,333 --> 01:08:20,527
♪ We're gonna get high, gonna get baked ♪
1725
01:08:20,542 --> 01:08:22,318
♪ Till every inch of us just aches ♪
1726
01:08:22,333 --> 01:08:24,527
♪ Gonna do lines, gonna pop tabs ♪
1727
01:08:24,542 --> 01:08:26,068
♪ Ingest everything we grab ♪
1728
01:08:26,083 --> 01:08:28,277
♪ Have some shrooms,
then smoke some crack ♪
1729
01:08:28,292 --> 01:08:30,527
♪ Chase the Dragon and shoot some smack ♪
1730
01:08:30,542 --> 01:08:32,485
♪ 'Cause the only thing
that matters when we ♪
1731
01:08:32,500 --> 01:08:34,360
♪ 'Cause the only thing
that matters when we ♪
1732
01:08:34,375 --> 01:08:37,152
♪ 'Cause the only thing
that matters is we get ♪
1733
01:08:37,167 --> 01:08:40,292
♪ So fucking ♪
1734
01:08:41,042 --> 01:08:45,750
♪ High ♪
1735
01:08:51,375 --> 01:08:52,985
Whoo!
1736
01:08:53,000 --> 01:08:54,693
♪ Yellow Claw and Fatman Scoop's
Reckless playing ♪
1737
01:08:54,708 --> 01:08:55,735
♪ Don't act up ♪
1738
01:08:55,750 --> 01:08:58,152
♪ Don't act up, don't act up ♪
1739
01:08:58,167 --> 01:09:00,068
♪ Don't act up, push your back up ♪
1740
01:09:00,083 --> 01:09:02,152
♪ This is the opportunity
to get that ass up ♪
1741
01:09:02,167 --> 01:09:04,402
♪ You wanna get wild, get wild ♪
1742
01:09:04,417 --> 01:09:06,333
♪ Take it from the sky to the ground ♪
1743
01:09:06,917 --> 01:09:08,777
♪ Don't act up, push your back up ♪
1744
01:09:08,792 --> 01:09:10,860
♪ This is the opportunity
to get that ass up ♪
1745
01:09:10,875 --> 01:09:13,152
♪ You wanna get wild, get wild ♪
1746
01:09:13,167 --> 01:09:14,943
♪ Take it from the sky to the ground ♪
1747
01:09:18,042 --> 01:09:18,986
Lena!
1748
01:09:19,001 --> 01:09:21,458
Lena!
1749
01:09:22,333 --> 01:09:23,028
Lena!
1750
01:09:23,043 --> 01:09:25,583
Lena!
1751
01:09:28,125 --> 01:09:30,068
♪ Don't act up, push your back up ♪
1752
01:09:30,083 --> 01:09:32,152
♪ This is the opportunity
to get that ass up ♪
1753
01:09:32,167 --> 01:09:34,402
♪ You wanna get wild, get wild ♪
1754
01:09:34,417 --> 01:09:35,860
♪ Take it from the sky to the ground ♪
1755
01:09:35,875 --> 01:09:36,943
♪ Right now ♪
1756
01:09:36,958 --> 01:09:38,818
♪ Don't act up, push your back up ♪
1757
01:09:38,833 --> 01:09:40,902
♪ This is the opportunity
to get that ass up ♪
1758
01:09:40,917 --> 01:09:42,667
♪ You wanna get wild, get wild ♪
1759
01:09:43,125 --> 01:09:44,610
♪ Take it from the sky to the ground ♪
1760
01:09:44,625 --> 01:09:45,361
♪ Right now ♪
1761
01:09:45,376 --> 01:09:46,896
♪ Take it from the sky to the ground ♪
1762
01:09:49,833 --> 01:09:52,735
Do drugs, motherfuckers!
1763
01:09:54,417 --> 01:09:56,818
♪ In the House by Outasight playing ♪
1764
01:09:56,833 --> 01:09:58,610
♪ I'm Saucier like macaroni ♪
1765
01:09:59,418 --> 01:10:00,860
Whoo!
1766
01:10:00,875 --> 01:10:02,818
♪ Anyway, pull up around nine ♪
1767
01:10:02,833 --> 01:10:05,152
♪ That really means eleven my time ♪
1768
01:10:05,167 --> 01:10:07,443
♪ I gotta feeling this going all night ♪
1769
01:10:07,458 --> 01:10:09,568
♪ And that's the kinda thing
you know I like ♪
1770
01:10:09,583 --> 01:10:11,527
♪ Make yourself feel right at home ♪
1771
01:10:11,542 --> 01:10:13,402
♪ There's no other place to be ♪
1772
01:10:13,417 --> 01:10:15,818
♪ Call everyone now that you know ♪
1773
01:10:15,833 --> 01:10:17,943
♪ And tell 'em that you're here with me ♪
1774
01:10:17,958 --> 01:10:19,985
♪ Whoa, think we're having a party ♪
1775
01:10:20,000 --> 01:10:22,027
♪ Whoa,
I think we're having a party ♪
1776
01:10:22,042 --> 01:10:24,235
♪ Whoa, and everyone's invited ♪
1777
01:10:24,250 --> 01:10:26,110
♪ Yeah ♪
1778
01:10:26,125 --> 01:10:29,083
♪ We in the house, whoa, oh ♪
1779
01:10:30,042 --> 01:10:31,777
♪ We in the house ♪
1780
01:10:31,792 --> 01:10:34,943
♪ Whoa ♪
1781
01:10:34,958 --> 01:10:37,068
♪ So come on in and
stay as long as you like ♪
1782
01:10:37,083 --> 01:10:39,068
♪ Come on in, you're welcome anytime ♪
1783
01:10:39,083 --> 01:10:42,193
♪ That's right, we in the house ♪
1784
01:10:42,208 --> 01:10:43,777
♪ Let's go ♪
1785
01:10:43,792 --> 01:10:44,792
Lena!
1786
01:10:45,083 --> 01:10:46,083
Griffin!
1787
01:10:48,667 --> 01:10:49,667
Hags?
1788
01:10:50,542 --> 01:10:53,110
Sarah?
I can't believe you made it.
1789
01:10:53,125 --> 01:10:54,125
Excuse me.
1790
01:10:54,833 --> 01:10:57,027
Um, have you seen Griffin?
1791
01:10:57,042 --> 01:10:59,652
Yeah, he's, like, over there
just jazzing with a bunch
1792
01:10:59,667 --> 01:11:01,193
of way cooler guys.
1793
01:11:01,208 --> 01:11:02,443
Wait. What seriously?
1794
01:11:02,458 --> 01:11:03,902
No, I'm fucking with you.
1795
01:11:03,917 --> 01:11:04,903
Oh. Ha ha ha.
1796
01:11:04,918 --> 01:11:06,693
Suck it down pipe. Be a man.
1797
01:11:06,708 --> 01:11:08,693
Look at him, he's having
a blast, everybody.
1798
01:11:08,708 --> 01:11:10,902
They call it Bong Long Island Expressway.
1799
01:11:10,917 --> 01:11:13,027
Come on!
Oh man, yeah, that's good.
1800
01:11:13,042 --> 01:11:14,777
Mark Maynard?
Hey, Griffin.
1801
01:11:14,792 --> 01:11:15,985
Loving that eyebrow.
1802
01:11:16,000 --> 01:11:17,360
I, I saw the video, so...
1803
01:11:17,375 --> 01:11:19,068
What video?
Of you and Lena.
1804
01:11:19,083 --> 01:11:20,792
Of you two together dancing.
1805
01:11:21,417 --> 01:11:22,985
You're the promposal guy, right?
1806
01:11:23,000 --> 01:11:25,902
No. I'm going to prom with Nick.
Guy's got an iron grip.
1807
01:11:25,917 --> 01:11:26,917
Hell yeah.
1808
01:11:28,208 --> 01:11:30,027
Wait, do you know
who did ask Lena, then?
1809
01:11:30,042 --> 01:11:32,068
No. I got no idea. It could be anyone.
1810
01:11:32,083 --> 01:11:33,110
She's a real catch.
1811
01:11:33,125 --> 01:11:35,610
Could be Max Keiser, Jack Fortin.
Right.
1812
01:11:35,625 --> 01:11:38,652
Could have been Tom Fank,
Matt Menina, Cameron Dzur!
1813
01:11:38,667 --> 01:11:39,693
Lot of different people.
1814
01:11:39,708 --> 01:11:41,735
Don't take it personally.
1815
01:11:41,750 --> 01:11:43,792
I love messing with you.
1816
01:11:44,292 --> 01:11:48,958
And tonight, I want to take
our relationship to the next level.
1817
01:11:49,625 --> 01:11:50,361
Wait, for real?
1818
01:11:50,376 --> 01:11:52,985
No, Hags, what the fuck
is wrong with you?
1819
01:11:53,000 --> 01:11:54,485
I don't know what's wrong with me.
I don't know.
1820
01:11:54,500 --> 01:11:56,860
Jerry Robinson...
Jerry Robinson.
1821
01:11:56,875 --> 01:11:58,610
Could be Tom Michelito.
So many options.
1822
01:11:58,625 --> 01:12:00,568
It could have been Kevin Weiss.
Jacob Rosen.
1823
01:12:00,583 --> 01:12:01,777
Eric Ulrich.
1824
01:12:01,792 --> 01:12:03,527
- Lot of people interested in her.
- Hey, hey, hey,
1825
01:12:03,542 --> 01:12:05,542
nice overalls though, dude, I love 'em.
1826
01:12:06,667 --> 01:12:08,542
- Have a good night.
- Hey, good luck.
1827
01:12:10,208 --> 01:12:11,485
Mark Maynard, what the fuck?
1828
01:12:11,500 --> 01:12:13,652
What? Don't pigeon hole me.
It's the Binge.
1829
01:12:13,667 --> 01:12:14,875
She's got an iron grip!
1830
01:12:21,833 --> 01:12:24,443
"This is the last clue. Don't U C.
1831
01:12:24,458 --> 01:12:25,902
Lena, go to prom with me."
1832
01:12:25,917 --> 01:12:29,943
♪ Romantic music playing ♪
1833
01:12:41,333 --> 01:12:43,360
Oh my god!
1834
01:12:43,375 --> 01:12:44,943
You look Lena in the eyes and tell her
1835
01:12:44,958 --> 01:12:47,277
exactly what you wanted to tell her
your entire life.
1836
01:12:47,292 --> 01:12:49,958
Mark did not ask her to prom,
I know that for a fact.
1837
01:12:50,375 --> 01:12:52,443
We could have been legends tonight, bro.
1838
01:12:58,417 --> 01:13:00,125
Hags, you son of a bitch.
1839
01:13:03,708 --> 01:13:06,318
Becky, I got a text. Becky,
I got a clue. What?
1840
01:13:06,333 --> 01:13:07,360
Look.
1841
01:13:07,375 --> 01:13:09,110
"The time has come to make the call,
1842
01:13:09,125 --> 01:13:11,527
dig deep in your heart
and deep in the overalls."
1843
01:13:11,542 --> 01:13:13,152
What fucking overalls?
1844
01:13:16,833 --> 01:13:18,652
Oh god. No.
1845
01:13:18,667 --> 01:13:22,568
Gauntlet competitor!
Please make your way to the stage.
1846
01:13:22,583 --> 01:13:26,443
If you haven't signed up,
now is your last chance
1847
01:13:26,458 --> 01:13:29,527
to be... legendary!
1848
01:13:38,750 --> 01:13:41,833
What about that preview that you were
gonna give me in band practice?
1849
01:13:42,792 --> 01:13:45,068
I'm gonna be a member
of the big dick club.
1850
01:13:45,083 --> 01:13:46,277
Whoa! Oh!
1851
01:13:48,333 --> 01:13:49,333
I mean, really?
1852
01:13:49,708 --> 01:13:52,110
I like that‐Oh! Hey!
1853
01:13:52,125 --> 01:13:53,069
Hags!
1854
01:13:53,084 --> 01:13:54,360
Excuse me!
Griffin?
1855
01:13:54,375 --> 01:13:55,542
Excuse me.
1856
01:13:56,417 --> 01:13:58,292
Focus up, Hags.
I'm so sorry.
1857
01:13:58,750 --> 01:14:00,318
This is my first Binge,
1858
01:14:00,333 --> 01:14:01,458
and, uh,
1859
01:14:02,875 --> 01:14:05,527
I said some really shitty things
to some people I care a whole lot about.
1860
01:14:05,542 --> 01:14:07,292
Who's that asshole?
1861
01:14:08,458 --> 01:14:10,068
That asshole's my best friend.
1862
01:14:10,083 --> 01:14:11,417
Is that Griffin?
1863
01:14:11,833 --> 01:14:13,277
Hags, I don't know
if you can hear me or...
1864
01:14:13,292 --> 01:14:16,110
All right, listen, I gotta go
get my best friend.
1865
01:14:16,125 --> 01:14:17,735
You stay right here.
What the fuck is he talking...
1866
01:14:17,750 --> 01:14:19,818
I love you. Yeah, I'll be back.
1867
01:14:19,833 --> 01:14:21,693
Sorry. My best friend.
Hags!
1868
01:14:21,708 --> 01:14:23,193
Get the fucker off the stage.
1869
01:14:23,208 --> 01:14:25,235
- Super lame!
- Get off the stage!
1870
01:14:25,250 --> 01:14:26,417
What the fuck, man?
1871
01:14:27,250 --> 01:14:27,958
Griffin!
1872
01:14:28,250 --> 01:14:29,568
Hags?
Hey, Griffin!
1873
01:14:29,583 --> 01:14:30,403
Hags!
1874
01:14:30,418 --> 01:14:31,485
- Sorry for the...
- Hey!
1875
01:14:31,500 --> 01:14:32,818
I'm coming, Hags.
1876
01:14:32,833 --> 01:14:33,943
Hey, hey, Griffin!
1877
01:14:33,958 --> 01:14:35,985
Now let's get to the Gauntlet, shall we?
1878
01:14:39,833 --> 01:14:41,777
I'm coming. I'm coming, Hags.
1879
01:14:41,792 --> 01:14:43,318
Hey, that's my best friend.
1880
01:14:43,333 --> 01:14:45,318
Oh god, just stop drinking...
1881
01:14:45,333 --> 01:14:47,068
Whoa! Lena! Lena, look.
1882
01:14:47,083 --> 01:14:50,235
Look. Lena. Lena, Lena, look.
Overalls. Overalls.
1883
01:14:50,250 --> 01:14:51,693
Holy shit! It's Griffin!
1884
01:14:51,708 --> 01:14:52,485
Yeah!
1885
01:14:52,500 --> 01:14:53,319
Oh my god, I...
1886
01:14:53,334 --> 01:14:55,860
Dude, dude, dude, you should,
you should get him!
1887
01:14:56,793 --> 01:14:59,068
Griffin! Griffin!
1888
01:14:59,083 --> 01:15:00,652
- Hey! Hey!
- Hags!
1889
01:15:00,667 --> 01:15:01,485
Griffin!
Hags!
1890
01:15:01,500 --> 01:15:02,500
Hey!
1891
01:15:03,792 --> 01:15:04,943
Did you ask Lena to prom?
1892
01:15:04,958 --> 01:15:06,610
No, I couldn't find her.
1893
01:15:06,625 --> 01:15:09,277
Why did you keep saying I had to beat
the other guy to the promposal?
1894
01:15:09,292 --> 01:15:11,193
You just needed a little push, man.
1895
01:15:11,208 --> 01:15:13,527
Look, I always knew you would ask her.
And I knew you could do it.
1896
01:15:13,542 --> 01:15:14,958
This was all just a backup.
1897
01:15:15,958 --> 01:15:17,860
Have you seen Andrew?
No.
1898
01:15:17,875 --> 01:15:19,735
I'm not even sure how I got to the party.
1899
01:15:19,750 --> 01:15:21,443
Well, I was tap‐dancing in the street!
1900
01:15:21,458 --> 01:15:23,277
People were singing
around me at one point.
1901
01:15:23,292 --> 01:15:25,277
I've had an erection for six hours.
1902
01:15:25,292 --> 01:15:26,860
Andrew!
1903
01:15:26,875 --> 01:15:28,735
What the fuck happened to you, man?
1904
01:15:28,750 --> 01:15:30,542
Hey, hey, hey, team name?
1905
01:15:31,917 --> 01:15:33,777
Oh, I'm sorry, we're not competing.
1906
01:15:33,792 --> 01:15:35,568
Hey, if you're not competing,
get the fuck off the stage.
1907
01:15:35,583 --> 01:15:36,278
Right away, sir.
1908
01:15:36,293 --> 01:15:37,818
I put you through enough already.
Let's go and see‐.
1909
01:15:37,833 --> 01:15:38,833
Wait, we're competing.
1910
01:15:39,792 --> 01:15:40,486
What?
1911
01:15:40,501 --> 01:15:43,110
There's no way in hell we came this far
1912
01:15:43,125 --> 01:15:45,318
not to take a run
at becoming legends tonight.
1913
01:15:45,333 --> 01:15:48,152
You made this whole night about me.
Now let me do this for you.
1914
01:15:48,167 --> 01:15:49,500
He's right.
1915
01:15:53,000 --> 01:15:54,292
What do you say?
1916
01:15:54,708 --> 01:15:56,860
This is our chance to be remembered.
1917
01:15:56,875 --> 01:15:58,443
Oh man!
1918
01:15:58,458 --> 01:15:59,860
I know that groan! He's in!
1919
01:15:59,875 --> 01:16:02,027
My man.
Hey, guys, team name?
1920
01:16:02,042 --> 01:16:05,610
Um... how about the Best Friends?
1921
01:16:05,625 --> 01:16:07,485
You're gonna get scorched for that name.
1922
01:16:07,500 --> 01:16:08,568
Watch this.
1923
01:16:08,583 --> 01:16:10,235
Hey, give it up for the Best Friends.
1924
01:16:10,250 --> 01:16:12,943
Hey,
team Best friends, where's your Valleyman?
1925
01:16:12,958 --> 01:16:14,318
What the hell's a Valleyman?
1926
01:16:14,333 --> 01:16:15,443
It's your fourth man.
1927
01:16:15,458 --> 01:16:16,750
Every team needs a fourth.
1928
01:16:17,208 --> 01:16:19,068
If he's not up here in 30 seconds,
you can't compete.
1929
01:16:19,083 --> 01:16:20,068
We didn't know about that.
1930
01:16:20,083 --> 01:16:21,083
Griffin.
1931
01:16:22,750 --> 01:16:23,750
Hey.
1932
01:16:24,125 --> 01:16:25,125
Lena!
1933
01:16:27,333 --> 01:16:29,110
Dad? CARLSEN: What
the hell is going on with you?
1934
01:16:29,125 --> 01:16:30,750
Let's go! We're leaving.
1935
01:16:31,542 --> 01:16:32,542
Lena, wait.
1936
01:16:35,750 --> 01:16:37,693
There's something I should have asked you
a long time ago
1937
01:16:37,708 --> 01:16:39,792
and was too terrified
to do anything about it.
1938
01:16:40,792 --> 01:16:43,083
But standing here now in front
of all these people and
1939
01:16:43,917 --> 01:16:46,110
with your dad right behind you,
the whole situation's feeling
1940
01:16:46,125 --> 01:16:47,902
a thousand times more awkward
and terrifying
1941
01:16:47,917 --> 01:16:50,637
than I even imagined it could be,
but that's okay, it doesn't matter.
1942
01:16:56,542 --> 01:16:57,735
Will you go to prom with me?
1943
01:16:57,750 --> 01:16:59,527
Lena, I don't even know where you're at.
1944
01:16:59,542 --> 01:17:01,277
You're sneaking around
and you're lying to me.
1945
01:17:01,292 --> 01:17:02,333
You gotta come with me.
1946
01:17:03,167 --> 01:17:04,792
I mean, you gotta come alongside me.
1947
01:17:05,792 --> 01:17:06,792
It's time for us to come.
1948
01:17:08,792 --> 01:17:09,611
Let me walk that back.
1949
01:17:09,626 --> 01:17:11,735
I don't want that taken
out of context by anybody.
1950
01:17:11,750 --> 01:17:12,750
We're leaving.
1951
01:17:13,542 --> 01:17:14,542
No.
1952
01:17:14,708 --> 01:17:16,485
No. No, I'm not leaving.
1953
01:17:16,500 --> 01:17:19,777
I know that sneaking out was wrong,
but you said so yourself,
1954
01:17:19,792 --> 01:17:21,318
I'm not gonna be a teenager forever.
1955
01:17:21,333 --> 01:17:23,360
So, this is where I'm at.
1956
01:17:23,375 --> 01:17:25,777
I want to go out,
and I want to try new things
1957
01:17:25,792 --> 01:17:29,167
and fucking I'm probably gonna make
a thousand mistakes but...
1958
01:17:30,333 --> 01:17:32,943
I'd really love to be able
to talk to my dad about it.
1959
01:17:32,958 --> 01:17:34,902
Come on, guys,
where's your Valleyman?
1960
01:17:34,917 --> 01:17:35,903
Get off the stage, it's over.
1961
01:17:35,918 --> 01:17:38,068
♪ Dramatic music playing ♪
1962
01:17:41,917 --> 01:17:42,917
You're my daughter.
1963
01:17:43,792 --> 01:17:44,792
I see you.
1964
01:17:45,625 --> 01:17:48,083
And you can talk to me anytime you want.
1965
01:17:48,917 --> 01:17:50,527
Thank you, Dad. That's exactly what I...
1966
01:17:50,542 --> 01:17:51,542
Just not right now.
Oh!
1967
01:17:52,833 --> 01:17:53,875
I'll be your Valleyman.
1968
01:17:54,458 --> 01:17:57,750
Take out your little pencil
and, uh, scratch down the name...
1969
01:17:58,375 --> 01:18:00,943
El fucking Pantera.
1970
01:18:00,958 --> 01:18:01,985
Oh shit!
1971
01:18:02,000 --> 01:18:03,000
Dad?
What is happening?
1972
01:18:03,375 --> 01:18:05,860
It's the return of El Pantera.
1973
01:18:07,292 --> 01:18:08,985
Pantera!
1974
01:18:09,000 --> 01:18:10,417
Pantera!
1975
01:18:10,875 --> 01:18:11,902
Pantera!
1976
01:18:11,917 --> 01:18:13,958
Oh my god! Oh my god!
1977
01:18:14,500 --> 01:18:16,042
Your dad is El Pantera?
1978
01:18:17,542 --> 01:18:19,860
You boys have the balls
to dare to be living legends,
1979
01:18:19,875 --> 01:18:22,333
then I'm not gonna let
some technicality stop that.
1980
01:18:23,000 --> 01:18:26,250
Truth be told, I lost
to the Gauntlet once. I was selfish.
1981
01:18:26,958 --> 01:18:28,527
Tried to go solo.
1982
01:18:28,542 --> 01:18:31,167
But now I realize, it takes a team,
1983
01:18:31,583 --> 01:18:34,568
but only a team that's built on trust.
1984
01:18:34,583 --> 01:18:35,528
That sounds great.
1985
01:18:35,543 --> 01:18:38,417
You come to my house, you pretend
to be my friend and clean my pool.
1986
01:18:38,958 --> 01:18:39,958
You played me.
1987
01:18:40,500 --> 01:18:41,833
Then I get a text
1988
01:18:42,375 --> 01:18:44,735
saying that you wanna impregnate
my goddamn daughter.
1989
01:18:44,750 --> 01:18:45,943
That was just an auto‐correct.
1990
01:18:45,958 --> 01:18:48,158
I respected it, 'cause at least
you were fucking honest,
1991
01:18:48,500 --> 01:18:50,943
and that's what I need to have when we're
out there competing in the Gauntlet.
1992
01:18:50,958 --> 01:18:53,818
When the chips are down,
I need to know I can count on you.
1993
01:18:53,833 --> 01:18:54,833
So do me a favor,
1994
01:18:55,458 --> 01:18:56,568
strike me in the nuts.
1995
01:18:56,583 --> 01:18:58,360
You want me to do what?
Show me your cards, Captain.
1996
01:18:58,375 --> 01:19:00,495
Hit me in my balls
and let me know your heart is true.
1997
01:19:01,167 --> 01:19:02,402
I just really
don't feel comfortable doing that.
1998
01:19:02,417 --> 01:19:03,693
No nut shot, no Gauntlet.
1999
01:19:03,708 --> 01:19:04,792
Just do it!
2000
01:19:05,708 --> 01:19:07,458
Ohh!
Yeah!
2001
01:19:08,542 --> 01:19:09,542
Oh!
2002
01:19:11,000 --> 01:19:13,027
I've never felt as close to anyone
2003
01:19:13,042 --> 01:19:14,583
as I do to you right now.
2004
01:19:22,375 --> 01:19:26,193
♪ Rousing music playing ♪
2005
01:19:30,125 --> 01:19:32,277
Can I get a cawww!
2006
01:19:32,292 --> 01:19:33,402
Cawww!
2007
01:19:33,417 --> 01:19:34,568
Cawww!
2008
01:19:34,583 --> 01:19:36,068
Caw! Caw! Caw!
2009
01:19:36,083 --> 01:19:37,652
Let's do this!
2010
01:19:44,917 --> 01:19:47,277
Ladies and gentlemen,
2011
01:19:47,292 --> 01:19:51,527
the time has finally come for this year's.
2012
01:19:51,542 --> 01:19:54,068
Gauntlet!
2013
01:19:54,083 --> 01:19:58,277
Which one of our brave competitors
will emerge victorious?
2014
01:19:58,292 --> 01:20:00,277
Now is the chance to create a memory
2015
01:20:00,292 --> 01:20:03,735
that you will cherish
for the rest of your lives.
2016
01:20:03,750 --> 01:20:08,110
To prove that you're more
than the worthless piece of shit
2017
01:20:08,125 --> 01:20:09,943
everyone said you were
2018
01:20:09,958 --> 01:20:12,917
and finally win the heart of
your longtime crush. Hags. Hags.
2019
01:20:13,500 --> 01:20:15,860
A chance to earn
the respect of your Principal
2020
01:20:15,875 --> 01:20:17,667
so he'll let you take
his daughter to prom.
2021
01:20:18,167 --> 01:20:20,818
A chance to finally prove
to your violent twin brother
2022
01:20:20,833 --> 01:20:23,125
that you are no longer taking his abuse.
2023
01:20:24,208 --> 01:20:28,042
Teams will compete in three rounds
of morally questionable events.
2024
01:20:28,417 --> 01:20:29,860
At the end of round three,
2025
01:20:29,875 --> 01:20:33,235
the two teams with the most points
will face off in a sudden death match.
2026
01:20:33,250 --> 01:20:34,028
Whoo!
2027
01:20:34,043 --> 01:20:37,652
Where the winning team
will be memorialized in Binge history.
2028
01:20:38,792 --> 01:20:40,985
Now put your hands together for round one,
2029
01:20:41,000 --> 01:20:44,610
the Liquid Plumber!
2030
01:20:44,625 --> 01:20:48,708
Liquid Plumber!
2031
01:20:49,167 --> 01:20:50,610
Ready?
2032
01:20:50,625 --> 01:20:51,902
Set!
2033
01:20:51,917 --> 01:20:54,277
Binge!
2034
01:20:54,292 --> 01:20:55,985
Now this is easy.
2035
01:20:56,000 --> 01:20:59,068
You just chug the mixture
of whiskey, Goldschlager,
2036
01:20:59,083 --> 01:21:01,818
hen's piss, Just For Men hair dye,
2037
01:21:01,833 --> 01:21:03,610
and sink water from an Arby's!
2038
01:21:03,625 --> 01:21:05,568
Then sing The Pledge of Allegiance.
2039
01:21:05,583 --> 01:21:07,360
- Let's go, Griffin!
- Let's go! Come on!
2040
01:21:07,375 --> 01:21:09,152
To the tune of the national anthem!
2041
01:21:09,167 --> 01:21:10,485
♪ "Star Spangled Banner"
plays on speakers ♪
2042
01:21:10,500 --> 01:21:13,985
Ice Russians are up. They're singing.
♪ I pledge allegiance ♪
2043
01:21:14,000 --> 01:21:15,277
Playboy Legends are up.
2044
01:21:15,292 --> 01:21:16,318
Suck it down pipe.
2045
01:21:20,292 --> 01:21:21,111
Let's go!
2046
01:21:21,126 --> 01:21:22,902
Let's go, Griff!
2047
01:21:22,917 --> 01:21:23,917
Oh my God!
2048
01:21:24,917 --> 01:21:27,277
I pledge allegiance to the Flag...
2049
01:21:29,667 --> 01:21:31,250
Ice Russians finish.
2050
01:21:32,542 --> 01:21:34,250
Playboy Legends finish.
2051
01:21:34,833 --> 01:21:38,318
For the lib...
With liberty and justice for all!
2052
01:21:38,333 --> 01:21:39,028
Yes!
2053
01:21:39,043 --> 01:21:40,235
And team Best Friends finish!
2054
01:21:40,250 --> 01:21:41,583
- Whoo!
- Let's go.
2055
01:21:43,000 --> 01:21:44,735
Oh damn.
2056
01:21:44,750 --> 01:21:45,943
It's all right, buddy.
2057
01:21:45,958 --> 01:21:47,902
Ice Russians taking an early lead.
2058
01:21:47,917 --> 01:21:50,027
Best Friends having a real hard time.
2059
01:21:50,042 --> 01:21:51,360
Serbian Molly Tickle Feather.
2060
01:21:51,375 --> 01:21:53,777
Serbian Molly Tickle Feather.
2061
01:21:53,792 --> 01:21:56,693
Serbian Tickle Feather.
2062
01:21:56,708 --> 01:22:00,277
Competition as old as time itself.
2063
01:22:00,292 --> 01:22:02,277
Best Friends will have
to take this next round
2064
01:22:02,292 --> 01:22:03,458
if they want to stay alive.
2065
01:22:04,000 --> 01:22:07,360
Looks like that
quick‐release MDMA is doing its job!
2066
01:22:07,375 --> 01:22:09,318
Andrew, we need this
more than ever, baby. Come on!
2067
01:22:09,333 --> 01:22:10,777
Pull through.
Get him, Andrew, let's go!
2068
01:22:10,792 --> 01:22:11,917
Whoo!
2069
01:22:15,042 --> 01:22:16,042
Hey.
2070
01:22:16,917 --> 01:22:17,917
Hey, Seb.
2071
01:22:18,375 --> 01:22:19,152
What?
2072
01:22:19,167 --> 01:22:19,819
Nothing.
2073
01:22:19,834 --> 01:22:21,625
Pull his arm, Andrew. Pull his arm!
2074
01:22:22,333 --> 01:22:23,236
I love you.
2075
01:22:23,251 --> 01:22:26,708
There's a lot a deep meaningful
conversation happening down there.
2076
01:22:28,458 --> 01:22:29,667
I love you too, bro.
2077
01:22:30,667 --> 01:22:32,027
I've been waiting my whole life...
2078
01:22:32,543 --> 01:22:34,625
No!
2079
01:22:35,458 --> 01:22:37,735
It's a close Gauntlet
out there, folks.
2080
01:22:37,750 --> 01:22:39,902
Ice Russians and the Criminals
neck and neck.
2081
01:22:39,917 --> 01:22:42,360
Team Best Friends
is nearly eliminated at this point.
2082
01:22:42,375 --> 01:22:45,095
The only thing that can change
the dynamic of the Gauntlet
2083
01:22:45,667 --> 01:22:47,360
is the Valleymen round.
2084
01:22:47,375 --> 01:22:49,777
It's convenient? Sure.
But what do you want from us?
2085
01:22:49,792 --> 01:22:50,985
We don't make the rules.
2086
01:22:51,000 --> 01:22:52,735
We're gonna need a miracle
to win this thing.
2087
01:22:52,750 --> 01:22:56,027
Alligator Donut.
2088
01:22:56,042 --> 01:22:57,443
This is life or death
for team Best Friends.
2089
01:22:57,458 --> 01:23:00,902
And since it's the Valleymen round,it actually is
2090
01:23:00,917 --> 01:23:02,402
life or death!
2091
01:23:02,417 --> 01:23:06,735
And for that reason, it's worth
more points than any other round.
2092
01:23:06,750 --> 01:23:10,318
But remember, guys, if there's a death,
no points are awarded.
2093
01:23:10,333 --> 01:23:12,027
This is our last shot
at making the finals.
2094
01:23:12,042 --> 01:23:13,693
This is why we play the game.
2095
01:23:16,917 --> 01:23:18,068
Now, Valleymen,
2096
01:23:18,083 --> 01:23:19,500
assume the donut.
2097
01:23:22,083 --> 01:23:25,083
Now, Valleymen, assume the Purple Drank.
2098
01:23:26,875 --> 01:23:30,083
Now, Valleymen,
assume the spin.
2099
01:23:37,667 --> 01:23:38,917
Oh my god!
2100
01:23:43,167 --> 01:23:44,458
Now, Valleymen,
2101
01:23:45,833 --> 01:23:48,277
assume the gator!
2102
01:23:53,250 --> 01:23:55,652
The donut must stay
on the gator's head for five seconds.
2103
01:23:55,667 --> 01:23:57,318
- Good luck!
- Now be careful,
2104
01:23:57,333 --> 01:24:00,652
he hasn't eaten in a week
and he's been listening to EDM all day.
2105
01:24:00,667 --> 01:24:01,985
He is super hyped up.
2106
01:24:03,125 --> 01:24:04,125
Ready.
2107
01:24:05,042 --> 01:24:06,042
Set!
2108
01:24:07,583 --> 01:24:09,277
Binge!
2109
01:24:12,834 --> 01:24:14,314
Take your time, Pantera, you're good.
2110
01:24:15,708 --> 01:24:16,486
Oh‐kay!
2111
01:24:16,501 --> 01:24:18,943
If the donut stays
on its head till the count of five,
2112
01:24:18,958 --> 01:24:21,000
the game is over.
2113
01:24:21,583 --> 01:24:23,693
Mark, place that fucking donut
on its head.
2114
01:24:26,208 --> 01:24:27,818
Ice Russians place the donut.
2115
01:24:27,833 --> 01:24:28,943
- That's what I'm talking about.
- Five,
2116
01:24:28,958 --> 01:24:32,500
four, three, two, one!
2117
01:24:33,667 --> 01:24:34,528
What?
2118
01:24:34,543 --> 01:24:37,143
Where did it go?
What the fuck happened to the donut?
2119
01:24:38,708 --> 01:24:40,277
El Pantera has the donut!
2120
01:24:41,458 --> 01:24:42,667
Yes! Yes!
2121
01:24:47,583 --> 01:24:49,818
That's why
they call him El Pantera.
2122
01:24:49,833 --> 01:24:50,902
Wait, can he do that?
2123
01:24:50,917 --> 01:24:52,068
Pantera!
2124
01:24:52,083 --> 01:24:54,402
- Pantera!
- He can.
2125
01:24:54,417 --> 01:24:55,943
- Pantera!
- You got this, Pantera.
2126
01:24:55,958 --> 01:24:57,152
You got it, Pantera. Here we go.
2127
01:24:57,167 --> 01:24:59,902
If the Best Friends can take this,
they'll be in the sudden death round
2128
01:24:59,917 --> 01:25:02,318
with the Ice Russians.
2129
01:25:02,333 --> 01:25:04,193
Sixty seconds remaining.
2130
01:25:10,167 --> 01:25:11,167
Come on, Pantera.
2131
01:25:12,793 --> 01:25:14,273
- Dad, be careful.
- Lena, quiet.
2132
01:25:14,708 --> 01:25:15,917
You're gonna scare the gator.
2133
01:25:17,333 --> 01:25:18,333
We talked about this.
2134
01:25:18,750 --> 01:25:19,750
When?
2135
01:25:23,750 --> 01:25:28,250
♪ Dramatic music playing ♪
2136
01:25:28,750 --> 01:25:29,818
- Yeah!
- Five,
2137
01:25:29,833 --> 01:25:33,443
four, three, two, one.
2138
01:25:37,042 --> 01:25:39,443
El Pantera wins
the Valleymen round
2139
01:25:39,458 --> 01:25:43,318
and puts team Ice Russians
and team Best Friends neck and neck.
2140
01:25:43,333 --> 01:25:45,277
We'll see both of these teams
in the final round
2141
01:25:45,292 --> 01:25:47,735
for all the marbles.
2142
01:25:47,750 --> 01:25:49,735
Cocaine Scarface.
2143
01:25:49,750 --> 01:25:52,652
You have three minutes
to snort as much cocaine as possible.
2144
01:25:52,667 --> 01:25:54,818
But if you pick your head up at any point,
2145
01:25:54,833 --> 01:25:58,360
you have to do your best Al Pacinoin Scarface impression
2146
01:25:58,375 --> 01:25:59,735
until you go back to snorting.
2147
01:25:59,750 --> 01:26:03,027
The Gauntlet Win will go to the
team with the most coke snorted
2148
01:26:03,042 --> 01:26:04,443
and the best Pacino'ing.
2149
01:26:04,458 --> 01:26:05,568
Come on, Hags, you got this.
2150
01:26:05,583 --> 01:26:08,110
Let's go, Hags!
2151
01:26:08,125 --> 01:26:09,125
Okay.
2152
01:26:10,000 --> 01:26:11,000
Ready!
2153
01:26:12,833 --> 01:26:13,833
Set!
2154
01:26:15,500 --> 01:26:17,777
Binge!
2155
01:26:20,500 --> 01:26:23,068
Say hello to my little friend.
2156
01:26:23,083 --> 01:26:24,443
Yeah!
2157
01:26:24,458 --> 01:26:27,652
Oh yeah, I'm... I'm Scarface.
2158
01:26:27,667 --> 01:26:30,193
I mean, look at my big ass scar
on my face.
2159
01:26:30,208 --> 01:26:31,985
I look just like him.
2160
01:26:32,000 --> 01:26:33,193
Hags, have you ever seen Scarface?
2161
01:26:33,208 --> 01:26:35,250
Yes, I've seen Scarface!
Then do Scarface!
2162
01:26:35,833 --> 01:26:38,693
All I have
in this world is my word and my balls,
2163
01:26:38,708 --> 01:26:41,110
and I don't break 'em for no one.
2164
01:26:41,125 --> 01:26:44,042
I have nipples, Focker. Can you milk me?
2165
01:26:45,000 --> 01:26:48,027
That's Robert fucking De Niro
from Meet the Fockers.
2166
01:26:48,042 --> 01:26:49,110
Dumbass.
2167
01:26:49,125 --> 01:26:50,152
You know what a chazzer is?
2168
01:26:50,167 --> 01:26:52,277
It's a pig who don't fly straight.
2169
01:26:52,292 --> 01:26:55,193
How does she know so much Scarface?
She's just crushing it.
2170
01:26:55,208 --> 01:26:57,568
Who hasn't seen Scarface?
2171
01:26:57,583 --> 01:27:00,610
I am the best Scarface
from here to Pelican Bay!
2172
01:27:00,625 --> 01:27:04,152
I mean, you do a great Denzel,
but we're not doing Denzel right now.
2173
01:27:04,167 --> 01:27:06,527
Kong King ain't got nothing on me!
2174
01:27:06,542 --> 01:27:08,068
Get your head out of your ass, Hags.
Yes, sir.
2175
01:27:08,083 --> 01:27:09,818
Time is almost up.
Oh my god.
2176
01:27:09,833 --> 01:27:11,402
Dig deep, Hags. Here we go.
2177
01:27:11,417 --> 01:27:13,443
Push it to the limit, Hags!
2178
01:27:19,333 --> 01:27:22,402
♪ Serene music playing ♪
2179
01:27:22,417 --> 01:27:24,568
I'll have what she's having.
2180
01:27:24,583 --> 01:27:25,583
Fucking dork.
2181
01:27:27,625 --> 01:27:28,985
You gotta make your life matter.
2182
01:27:29,000 --> 01:27:30,568
Tonight we become legends, Griffin.
2183
01:27:30,583 --> 01:27:32,125
...we become legends‐become legends...
2184
01:27:33,333 --> 01:27:35,042
Gauntlet legends.
2185
01:27:35,500 --> 01:27:37,833
What I wouldn't do to be up on this wall.
2186
01:27:39,333 --> 01:27:40,236
Thank you, Quan.
2187
01:27:40,251 --> 01:27:41,610
Quan. Quan.
2188
01:27:44,125 --> 01:27:45,885
What're you lookin' at?
2189
01:27:46,125 --> 01:27:47,125
Hmm?
2190
01:27:50,042 --> 01:27:52,792
You're all a bunch of fuckin' assholes.
2191
01:27:57,250 --> 01:27:58,583
'Cause you don't have the guts
2192
01:27:59,000 --> 01:28:00,917
to be what you wanna be.
2193
01:28:01,833 --> 01:28:04,417
You people just know how to hide,
2194
01:28:05,542 --> 01:28:06,667
how to lie.
2195
01:28:07,625 --> 01:28:08,860
But see, me, no,
2196
01:28:08,875 --> 01:28:11,083
I don't have no problems.
I don't have those problems.
2197
01:28:11,917 --> 01:28:13,792
'Cause I always tell the truth.
2198
01:28:15,250 --> 01:28:16,250
Even when I lie.
2199
01:28:18,500 --> 01:28:22,417
So say goodnight to the bad guy!
2200
01:28:23,917 --> 01:28:25,500
Because you'll never
2201
01:28:26,583 --> 01:28:29,292
see a bad guy like me again!
2202
01:28:38,625 --> 01:28:43,485
♪ Rousing music playing ♪
2203
01:28:49,542 --> 01:28:51,902
Team Best Friends
have won the Gauntlet!
2204
01:28:51,917 --> 01:28:53,943
We did it! We won!
2205
01:29:08,167 --> 01:29:10,000
I'll have what she's having!
2206
01:29:13,375 --> 01:29:15,068
♪ Andrew W. K.'s
It's Time to Party playing ♪
2207
01:29:15,083 --> 01:29:16,693
♪ Hang out with yourself
and have a crazy party ♪
2208
01:29:16,708 --> 01:29:19,318
♪ Hey you, let's party ♪
2209
01:29:19,333 --> 01:29:22,068
♪ Have a killer party and party! ♪
2210
01:29:22,083 --> 01:29:24,110
♪ Don't even try and deny it ♪
2211
01:29:24,125 --> 01:29:26,333
♪ 'Cause you're gonna have
a party tonight ♪
2212
01:29:26,917 --> 01:29:29,250
♪ And you know we're gonna do it tonight ♪
2213
01:29:29,708 --> 01:29:33,042
And with that,
another Binge has come and gone.
2214
01:29:33,917 --> 01:29:38,333
Tough lessons, the kind only
experience teaches, have been learned.
2215
01:29:39,125 --> 01:29:42,500
With a little diligence,
this initiative can work.
2216
01:29:42,917 --> 01:29:45,902
It can strike fear, it can take lives,
2217
01:29:45,917 --> 01:29:48,208
but it can also save them.
2218
01:29:48,833 --> 01:29:50,735
So until next Binge,
2219
01:29:50,750 --> 01:29:53,027
stay alert, stay vigilant
2220
01:29:53,042 --> 01:29:56,792
and for heaven's sake, suck it down pipe.
2221
01:30:02,208 --> 01:30:02,986
Wow!
2222
01:30:03,001 --> 01:30:04,167
Lena, you look
2223
01:30:04,875 --> 01:30:06,568
- so amazing.
- What?
2224
01:30:06,583 --> 01:30:08,610
I just woke up like this!
2225
01:30:08,625 --> 01:30:11,333
♪ Romantic music playing ♪
2226
01:30:14,958 --> 01:30:16,583
Do you want me to put this on?
Yeah.
2227
01:30:19,708 --> 01:30:20,708
I'm proud of you.
2228
01:30:23,292 --> 01:30:24,958
I'm proud of you too, Dad.
2229
01:30:26,750 --> 01:30:28,590
All right, get out of here.
You two look great.
2230
01:30:29,750 --> 01:30:31,083
Thank you.
2231
01:30:32,500 --> 01:30:34,818
Come on, Griffin!
2232
01:30:34,833 --> 01:30:36,527
Griffin! All right, guys,
this is our stop. This is our stop.
2233
01:30:36,542 --> 01:30:37,361
Everybody relax.
2234
01:30:37,376 --> 01:30:39,152
You guys have fun!
Watch your speed limit in that thing.
2235
01:30:39,167 --> 01:30:40,818
- Yes, sir.
- Sarah, I love that hair.
2236
01:30:40,833 --> 01:30:42,625
It's crazy. Double bag it for me, Quan.
2237
01:30:43,042 --> 01:30:45,110
Andrew, nothing weird about you.
2238
01:30:45,125 --> 01:30:47,625
Kimmi... fantastic.
2239
01:30:48,333 --> 01:30:50,068
Are we really riding this the whole way?
2240
01:30:50,083 --> 01:30:51,943
This is the PromCycle. This thing fucks.
2241
01:30:51,958 --> 01:30:53,943
Let's go! Full speed ahead.
2242
01:30:53,958 --> 01:30:55,277
Time is wasting.
2243
01:30:55,292 --> 01:30:56,777
Come on, Lena.
Put your, put your thighs in it.
2244
01:30:56,792 --> 01:30:58,027
I am!
2245
01:31:01,458 --> 01:31:02,485
Who paid for the Fantas?
2246
01:31:02,500 --> 01:31:04,792
♪ Upbeat music playing ♪
2247
01:31:13,375 --> 01:31:15,318
♪ We're gonna get high,
gonna get baked ♪
2248
01:31:15,333 --> 01:31:16,360
♪ Till every inch of us just aches ♪
2249
01:31:16,375 --> 01:31:17,402
Future boo.
2250
01:31:21,000 --> 01:31:22,860
♪ Have some shrooms,
then smoke some crack ♪
2251
01:31:22,875 --> 01:31:24,693
♪ Chase the Dragon and shoot some smack ♪
2252
01:31:24,708 --> 01:31:26,527
♪ We're gonna get high, gonna get baked ♪
2253
01:31:26,542 --> 01:31:28,443
♪ Till every inch of us just aches ♪
2254
01:31:28,458 --> 01:31:30,443
♪ Gonna do lines, gonna pop tabs ♪
2255
01:31:30,458 --> 01:31:32,360
♪ Ingest everything we grab ♪
2256
01:31:32,375 --> 01:31:34,110
♪ Cook some meth, how 'bout black tar ♪
2257
01:31:34,125 --> 01:31:38,652
♪ While giving hand jobs in the car ♪
2258
01:31:38,667 --> 01:31:40,735
♪ We're gonna get high, gonna get baked ♪
2259
01:31:40,750 --> 01:31:42,735
♪ Till every inch of us just aches ♪
2260
01:31:42,750 --> 01:31:44,652
♪ Gonna do lines, gonna pop tabs ♪
2261
01:31:44,667 --> 01:31:46,527
♪ Ingest everything we grab ♪
2262
01:31:46,542 --> 01:31:48,360
♪ Have some shrooms,
smoke some crack ♪
2263
01:31:48,375 --> 01:31:50,568
♪ Chase the Dragon and shoot some smack ♪
2264
01:31:50,583 --> 01:31:52,235
♪ 'Cause the only thing that matters ♪
2265
01:31:52,250 --> 01:31:54,527
♪ 'Cause the only thing
that matters when we ♪
2266
01:31:54,542 --> 01:31:57,318
♪ 'Cause the only thing
that matters is we get ♪
2267
01:31:57,333 --> 01:32:00,417
♪ So fucking ♪
2268
01:32:01,125 --> 01:32:07,083
♪ High! ♪
2269
01:32:11,458 --> 01:32:16,235
♪ Swelling instrumental music playing ♪
2270
01:32:24,958 --> 01:32:28,902
♪ He said let's Binge, Griffin,
we'll have a rocking time ♪
2271
01:32:28,917 --> 01:32:32,443
♪ On the one night of the year
when railing lines is not a crime ♪
2272
01:32:32,458 --> 01:32:36,235
♪ Soon he's off to college
while I vanish from his brain ♪
2273
01:32:36,250 --> 01:32:39,610
♪ He'll be getting knowledge
and remember me as lame ♪
2274
01:32:39,625 --> 01:32:43,152
♪ We thought it'd be terrific
to be substance abusers ♪
2275
01:32:43,167 --> 01:32:46,693
♪ But that was quite horrific,
you made us look like losers ♪
2276
01:32:46,708 --> 01:32:50,235
♪ The best night ever
turned out pretty rotten ♪
2277
01:32:50,250 --> 01:32:52,235
♪ Now when he's with
new friends at Brown ♪
2278
01:32:52,250 --> 01:32:54,042
♪ I will be forgotten ♪
2279
01:32:57,083 --> 01:33:00,277
♪ I hate you so much, Hags,
you probably ruined my life ♪
2280
01:33:00,292 --> 01:33:03,568
♪ I almost asked Lena to prom
and then to be my wife ♪
2281
01:33:03,583 --> 01:33:04,985
♪ What the fuck is happening?
2282
01:33:05,000 --> 01:33:06,652
My brain's completely fried ♪
2283
01:33:06,667 --> 01:33:09,860
♪ The night became unhinged,
the thought just made me cringe ♪
2284
01:33:09,875 --> 01:33:13,750
♪ It's not how it should be
on the Binge! ♪
2285
01:33:15,250 --> 01:33:18,735
♪ All I ever wanted
were some friends ♪
2286
01:33:18,750 --> 01:33:23,485
♪ Pals with me till the very end ♪
2287
01:33:23,500 --> 01:33:27,485
♪ How will I fix this now?
I really don't know how ♪
2288
01:33:27,500 --> 01:33:29,818
♪ We tore off an eyebrow ♪
2289
01:33:29,833 --> 01:33:34,583
♪ And killed a lovely cow ♪
2290
01:33:35,417 --> 01:33:37,277
♪ We're gonna get high,
gonna get baked ♪
2291
01:33:37,292 --> 01:33:39,235
♪ Till every inch of us just aches ♪
2292
01:33:39,250 --> 01:33:41,152
♪ Gonna do lines, gonna pop tabs ♪
2293
01:33:41,167 --> 01:33:43,027
♪ Ingest everything we grab ♪
2294
01:33:43,042 --> 01:33:44,943
♪ Have some shrooms,
then smoke some crack ♪
2295
01:33:44,958 --> 01:33:46,943
♪ Chase the Dragon and shoot some smack ♪
2296
01:33:46,958 --> 01:33:50,693
♪ We won't stop till all our brains
are fucking fried ♪
2297
01:33:50,708 --> 01:33:54,152
♪ 'Cause the only thing that matters
when we binge ♪
2298
01:33:54,167 --> 01:33:55,750
♪ Is we're gonna get high ♪
2299
01:33:56,458 --> 01:33:59,985
♪ If only I was brave
I could've asked her to the prom ♪
2300
01:34:00,000 --> 01:34:03,360
♪ I missed my opportunity
and now my boner's gone ♪
2301
01:34:03,375 --> 01:34:07,068
♪ They ripped my fucking eyebrow off
I'm stuck singing this ballad ♪
2302
01:34:07,083 --> 01:34:10,958
♪ While Lena's off with someone else
I'm tossing my own salad ♪
2303
01:34:17,917 --> 01:34:21,568
♪ This will be the best prom ever ♪
2304
01:34:21,583 --> 01:34:24,985
♪ That promposal was so damn clever ♪
2305
01:34:25,000 --> 01:34:28,485
♪ But not knowing who,
I'm so glad it was you ♪
2306
01:34:28,500 --> 01:34:32,360
♪ And not someone like Griffin or Trevor ♪
2307
01:34:32,375 --> 01:34:37,458
♪ We'll live happily ever ♪
2308
01:34:38,875 --> 01:34:42,318
Nooo!
2309
01:34:48,292 --> 01:34:51,610
♪ Sarah, my sweet, you're probably
with some foreign guy ♪
2310
01:34:51,625 --> 01:34:55,167
♪ You thought it'd be a treat,
maybe Swede, maybe Thai ♪
2311
01:34:57,250 --> 01:35:01,277
♪ Best night ever
maybe a one night stand ♪
2312
01:35:01,292 --> 01:35:03,527
♪ Who will be my new endeavor? ♪
2313
01:35:03,542 --> 01:35:05,527
♪ Could be a woman or a man ♪
2314
01:35:05,542 --> 01:35:09,860
♪ I don't give a fuck, maybe both ♪
2315
01:35:09,875 --> 01:35:14,167
♪ A three‐way ought to float my boat ♪
2316
01:35:15,750 --> 01:35:17,610
♪ I'll try it all, see what's what ♪
2317
01:35:17,625 --> 01:35:19,610
♪ I'll even go 2 Girls 1 Cup ♪
2318
01:35:19,625 --> 01:35:21,527
♪ Maybe a horse, I don't care ♪
2319
01:35:21,542 --> 01:35:23,402
♪ Give me a Clydesdale, make it a pair ♪
2320
01:35:23,417 --> 01:35:27,610
♪ Getting tired of little umbrellas
I'd rather drink from a sexy fella ♪
2321
01:35:27,625 --> 01:35:30,292
♪ Andrew could do the trick ♪
2322
01:35:31,208 --> 01:35:33,333
♪ I bet he's got a danger dick ♪
2323
01:35:34,625 --> 01:35:36,527
♪ We're gonna get high,
gonna get baked ♪
2324
01:35:36,542 --> 01:35:38,527
♪ Till every inch of us just aches ♪
2325
01:35:38,542 --> 01:35:40,402
♪ Gonna do lines, gonna pop tabs ♪
2326
01:35:40,417 --> 01:35:42,277
♪ Ingest everything we grab ♪
2327
01:35:42,292 --> 01:35:44,152
♪ Have some shrooms,
smoke some crack ♪
2328
01:35:44,167 --> 01:35:46,277
♪ Chase the Dragon and shoot some smack ♪
2329
01:35:46,292 --> 01:35:49,860
♪ We won't stop till all our brains
are fucking fried ♪
2330
01:35:49,875 --> 01:35:53,318
♪ 'Cause the only thing that matters
when we binge ♪
2331
01:35:53,333 --> 01:35:54,875
♪ Is we're gonna get high ♪
2332
01:35:58,375 --> 01:36:00,693
♪ Hey, little brother,
I thought you had given up ♪
2333
01:36:00,708 --> 01:36:02,985
♪ Quittin' from the shittin'
on each other just wasn't enough ♪
2334
01:36:03,000 --> 01:36:05,110
♪ I got a Gauntlet to win
so get out my way ♪
2335
01:36:05,125 --> 01:36:07,527
♪ I'm gonna beat the game,
get my name on the wall of fame ♪
2336
01:36:07,542 --> 01:36:09,777
♪ You're my brother, man,
you're supposed to keep my shit on track ♪
2337
01:36:09,792 --> 01:36:12,277
♪ Instead you laughed while I collapsed
from a burrito stack ♪
2338
01:36:12,292 --> 01:36:14,027
♪ Now the gloves are off
the party has started ♪
2339
01:36:14,042 --> 01:36:16,693
♪ And when I finally take you down,
that shit gonna feel so cathartic ♪
2340
01:36:16,708 --> 01:36:18,902
♪ You can't beat me, bro,
you got no worth ♪
2341
01:36:18,917 --> 01:36:21,068
♪ In case you forget
who was on this Earth first ♪
2342
01:36:21,083 --> 01:36:23,652
♪ You can't unseat me or defeat me
you got half my girth ♪
2343
01:36:23,667 --> 01:36:25,267
♪ Bitch, you nothing but an afterbirth ♪
2344
01:36:25,917 --> 01:36:27,818
♪ Kick back, man,
you're bunching your panties ♪
2345
01:36:27,833 --> 01:36:30,277
♪ You're just the shit that mom took
before she had me ♪
2346
01:36:30,292 --> 01:36:32,985
♪ Now don't sweat the technique
I'll hit you with another dick dart ♪
2347
01:36:33,000 --> 01:36:34,735
♪ And make you pee in three streams ♪
2348
01:36:34,750 --> 01:36:36,110
♪ Streams, streams ♪
2349
01:36:36,125 --> 01:36:38,325
♪ Griffin, Griffin,
get in this car right now ♪
2350
01:36:39,667 --> 01:36:43,652
♪ Did you hear? Did you hear?
You said you'd be my eyes and ears ♪
2351
01:36:43,667 --> 01:36:47,360
♪ Now your Binge‐ing got me cringing
don't just sit there, start that engine ♪
2352
01:36:58,458 --> 01:37:00,360
♪ We're gonna get high,
gonna get baked ♪
2353
01:37:00,375 --> 01:37:02,360
♪ Till every inch of us just aches ♪
2354
01:37:02,375 --> 01:37:04,235
♪ Gonna do lines, gonna pop tabs ♪
2355
01:37:04,250 --> 01:37:06,068
♪ Ingest everything we grab ♪
2356
01:37:06,083 --> 01:37:07,943
♪ Have some shrooms,
then smoke some crack ♪
2357
01:37:07,958 --> 01:37:09,777
♪ Chase the Dragon and shoot some smack ♪
2358
01:37:09,792 --> 01:37:11,652
♪ We're gonna get high, gonna get baked ♪
2359
01:37:11,667 --> 01:37:13,693
♪ Till every inch of us just aches ♪
2360
01:37:13,708 --> 01:37:15,568
♪ Gonna do lines, gonna pop tabs ♪
2361
01:37:15,583 --> 01:37:17,443
♪ Ingest everything we grab ♪
2362
01:37:17,458 --> 01:37:19,235
♪ Cook some meth, how 'bout black tar ♪
2363
01:37:19,250 --> 01:37:23,860
♪ While giving hand jobs in the car ♪
2364
01:37:23,875 --> 01:37:25,902
♪ We're gonna get high, gonna get baked ♪
2365
01:37:25,917 --> 01:37:27,860
♪ Till every inch of us just aches ♪
2366
01:37:27,875 --> 01:37:29,777
♪ Gonna do lines, gonna pop tabs ♪
2367
01:37:29,792 --> 01:37:31,568
♪ Ingest everything we grab ♪
2368
01:37:31,583 --> 01:37:33,485
♪ Have some shrooms,
then smoke some crack ♪
2369
01:37:33,500 --> 01:37:35,610
♪ Chase the Dragon and shoot some smack ♪
2370
01:37:35,625 --> 01:37:37,360
♪ 'Cause the only thing
that matters when we ♪
2371
01:37:37,375 --> 01:37:39,443
♪ 'Cause the only thing that
matters when we ♪
2372
01:37:39,458 --> 01:37:42,402
♪ 'Cause the only thing
that matters is we get ♪
2373
01:37:42,417 --> 01:37:45,542
♪ So fucking ♪
2374
01:37:46,208 --> 01:37:52,167
♪ High ♪
182166
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