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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:12,060 --> 00:00:17,520 "Rubin & Ed" Subtitles by Magiin. August 2020. 4 00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:08,190 Are you willing to open the door to your dreams? 5 00:01:09,920 --> 00:01:12,430 Success! - Success! 6 00:01:13,790 --> 00:01:15,260 Why do we want that success? 7 00:01:18,300 --> 00:01:21,000 Money! - Money! 8 00:01:22,740 --> 00:01:24,400 How do we get that money? 9 00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:27,150 Work! 10 00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:31,720 No, no, not work... 11 00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:36,190 Real estate! - Real estate! 12 00:01:36,510 --> 00:01:42,710 Power through positive real estate! The P-P-R! The organization! 13 00:01:43,230 --> 00:01:45,680 Yay! 14 00:01:48,150 --> 00:01:53,460 Do you have what it takes? Are you the kind of high caliber motivated professional... 15 00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:54,910 that will stop at nothing to get what you want? 16 00:01:57,540 --> 00:02:00,780 Who are you? Who are you? 17 00:02:03,270 --> 00:02:07,160 You are an incredibly powerful sales person who continually 18 00:02:07,190 --> 00:02:10,430 climbs higher and higher up the ladder of success. 19 00:02:10,670 --> 00:02:15,430 Chant after me: "I am an incredibly powerful sales person who 20 00:02:15,460 --> 00:02:20,460 continually climbs higher and higher up the ladder of success!" 21 00:02:20,530 --> 00:02:24,600 "I am an incredibly powerful sales person who continually 22 00:02:24,630 --> 00:02:28,340 climbs higher and higher up the ladder of success!" 23 00:02:28,770 --> 00:02:34,080 "I am an incredibly powerful sales person who continually 24 00:02:34,080 --> 00:02:37,860 climbs higher and higher up the ladder of success!" 25 00:02:37,940 --> 00:02:41,320 Success! - Success! 26 00:02:45,850 --> 00:02:48,260 Boy that Mr. Busta sure can give a speech, can't he? 27 00:02:54,280 --> 00:03:00,350 Now chant along with me: I am an incredibly powerful sales person who continually 28 00:03:00,350 --> 00:03:02,870 climbs higher and higher up the ladder of success... 29 00:04:02,350 --> 00:04:02,910 Wow! 30 00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:56,280 Rubin! Stop squeaking that stupid mouse! 31 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:02,310 I said stop squeaking that stupid mouse! 32 00:05:07,570 --> 00:05:10,620 Why don't you do something else for a change. Why don't 33 00:05:10,650 --> 00:05:13,590 you get out of this house and make yourself a friend! 34 00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:14,600 No! - Yes! 35 00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:17,410 No! - Well then take out the trash. 36 00:05:26,010 --> 00:05:29,830 Hey weirdo! Who let you out! Here kitty, kitty, kitty... 37 00:05:31,030 --> 00:05:33,930 Come 'n get me! Ha ha ha! 38 00:05:34,700 --> 00:05:37,980 Here kitty, kitty, kitty... Here kitty, kitty... 39 00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:57,680 - Hello? Hello Rula this Ed... hi, hi... hello. 40 00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:02,000 Uh I hadn't called for a while so I thought I'd call and say... hello. 41 00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:05,210 Exercise Ed. - Oh no, Rula, please. 42 00:06:05,620 --> 00:06:08,110 You know why you feel better when you exercise, Ed? 43 00:06:08,140 --> 00:06:11,010 Because you're doing something you don't really want to do. 44 00:06:11,490 --> 00:06:12,670 I know, I know. 45 00:06:12,770 --> 00:06:17,660 You're paid in life for doing what you don't really want to do, Ed. 46 00:06:18,680 --> 00:06:19,810 I know... I know. 47 00:06:20,070 --> 00:06:23,910 You always do exactly what you want to do, Ed. 48 00:06:23,940 --> 00:06:25,980 That's why you're broke. 49 00:06:26,060 --> 00:06:31,290 Ya know, Rula... I uh... I haven't talked to you in quite a while. 50 00:06:31,310 --> 00:06:33,060 How are you doing? 51 00:06:33,310 --> 00:06:34,740 Great! - Really? 52 00:06:36,190 --> 00:06:39,840 Well that's great. I'm great too. I mean I'm doing great. 53 00:06:39,860 --> 00:06:42,570 Just, things are going great for me uh... 54 00:06:43,150 --> 00:06:48,940 Gotta go now, Ed. - Well, ok! No problem. Listen it's been... 55 00:06:58,890 --> 00:07:01,340 Woof! Bark, bark, bark!... 56 00:07:16,790 --> 00:07:20,290 That's it! No more Mahler. Not another note until you 57 00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:23,110 get out of this house and make a friend! 58 00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:24,880 No! - Yes! 59 00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:30,720 It's for your own good, Rubin. You can't stay in this house the rest of your life. 60 00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:32,740 Yes I can! - No you can't! 61 00:07:33,070 --> 00:07:35,370 Why? - Because I said so! 62 00:07:35,630 --> 00:07:38,190 Now go out and make yourself a friend. Bring him home to dinner and 63 00:07:38,220 --> 00:07:39,500 I'll give you your music back! 64 00:07:40,420 --> 00:07:42,730 No friend, no music! 65 00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:07,080 I want you to meet my mother. 66 00:08:13,190 --> 00:08:14,630 Excuse me. - Buzz off. 67 00:08:18,240 --> 00:08:19,690 Excuse me. - No. 68 00:08:21,460 --> 00:08:22,110 Excuse me... 69 00:08:23,320 --> 00:08:26,000 Excuse me... hi, uh... - Grrr! 70 00:08:34,050 --> 00:08:37,830 Excuse me. My name is Ed. Who are you - who are you really? 71 00:08:39,120 --> 00:08:42,730 I'm making a survey for Power Through Positive Real Estate... 72 00:08:42,750 --> 00:08:44,550 may I ask you a few questions? 73 00:08:49,580 --> 00:08:55,300 Are you 100% satisifed with your earning potential 100% of the time? 74 00:08:56,380 --> 00:08:59,020 Yep! - You are...? 75 00:09:00,090 --> 00:09:05,300 Are you 100% satisfied with your life and or outside relationships? 76 00:09:05,550 --> 00:09:08,010 Yep! - Really? 77 00:09:08,590 --> 00:09:14,760 Uh... If the answer to any of these questions is not 100% yes... 78 00:09:14,780 --> 00:09:18,720 then come with me right now for a free introductory seminar on 79 00:09:18,750 --> 00:09:21,060 Power Through Positive Real Estate! 80 00:09:23,470 --> 00:09:29,430 Uh... I could go around dinner time? Come over my house? Pick me up? 81 00:09:29,450 --> 00:09:32,650 I think that could be arranged... and your name and address please? 82 00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:38,190 Rubin Farr. Fontenoy Inn. Room 71. 83 00:09:38,570 --> 00:09:41,650 Motel? - My mother's the manager. 84 00:09:42,410 --> 00:09:47,360 Very well then Mr. Rubin Farr of the Fontenoy Inn, Room... 71. 85 00:09:49,110 --> 00:09:52,140 Your life... is about to take a positive turn! 86 00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:56,060 I'll pick you up at 6. 87 00:10:04,070 --> 00:10:04,860 Got one! 88 00:10:10,620 --> 00:10:15,820 Enthusiasm! Hello... how ya doing?! Hi. 89 00:10:33,220 --> 00:10:38,110 Hello Rubin! What a tremendous day. A fantastic day for real estate! 90 00:10:38,300 --> 00:10:41,710 What say we motor on over to the seminar and get you started 91 00:10:41,730 --> 00:10:43,410 on the "Express to Success"? 92 00:10:44,070 --> 00:10:48,890 Nope. My mother's not here yet. You need to meet my mother. 93 00:11:15,210 --> 00:11:16,460 Quite a living room... 94 00:11:22,230 --> 00:11:23,400 Quite a squeaky mouse. 95 00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:44,530 Could I have a glass of water? - No! 96 00:11:50,990 --> 00:11:54,360 Actually I better be going. - Wait, wait, wait, wait!... 97 00:11:54,900 --> 00:11:57,120 Come on in the kitchen and have a glass of water. 98 00:12:04,110 --> 00:12:05,510 This is quite a kitchen! 99 00:12:14,050 --> 00:12:15,780 Ice! Ice is nice... 100 00:12:23,470 --> 00:12:28,390 Ahhh! ...Good Lord, what the hell?! 101 00:12:30,380 --> 00:12:35,240 I'm sorry, uh I wanted some ice. I didn't realize... look... 102 00:12:35,710 --> 00:12:37,240 I didn't do it. 103 00:12:40,680 --> 00:12:43,370 Why don't you keep your hands off other people's refrigerators?! 104 00:12:49,060 --> 00:12:54,080 Listen you don't eat those things, do ya? Because I could get sick eating cats. 105 00:12:54,390 --> 00:12:55,910 It's a pet! 106 00:13:04,110 --> 00:13:08,440 I know it's none of my business, but why do you keep your pet in the freezer? 107 00:13:09,270 --> 00:13:12,380 I'm keeping him frozen until I find the right spot to bury him. 108 00:13:12,990 --> 00:13:15,870 Look, my mother just called, she's going to be late. 109 00:13:15,890 --> 00:13:18,280 I don't feel like going to the seminar now. 110 00:13:18,990 --> 00:13:21,600 In your frame of mind, I think the seminar would be very good. 111 00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:22,930 No! 112 00:13:23,080 --> 00:13:25,550 Well look, tell you what. We'll leave my business card, 113 00:13:25,580 --> 00:13:28,780 right here on the table that way your mother will know where you went. 114 00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:29,400 No! 115 00:13:29,470 --> 00:13:31,640 I drove all the way over here, I think the least you can do... 116 00:13:31,680 --> 00:13:33,000 Shut up! 117 00:13:34,530 --> 00:13:38,150 You shut up you son of a bitch! I'm sorry I didn't mean that... 118 00:13:38,290 --> 00:13:40,300 Excuse me, I did not mean it. 119 00:13:46,430 --> 00:13:50,000 I guess you're pretty broken up about your cat? 120 00:13:50,300 --> 00:13:52,750 You had him for a long time? - Yes. 121 00:13:54,190 --> 00:13:58,430 Let's see, where could you bury him? Don't have a yard so that's out. 122 00:13:59,670 --> 00:14:01,110 Why don't you bury your cat at sea? 123 00:14:02,070 --> 00:14:04,670 Cat's hate water. - Well then we'll bury him out in the desert. 124 00:14:04,670 --> 00:14:06,560 No car. - Well then just get over it! 125 00:14:06,650 --> 00:14:08,550 I mean, go on to the next step. 126 00:14:08,680 --> 00:14:11,770 Set a goal, and obstacles become opportunities! 127 00:14:12,330 --> 00:14:14,880 Man you really need that seminar right now! Let's go over there... 128 00:14:14,880 --> 00:14:17,470 Get out of my house! 129 00:14:17,470 --> 00:14:20,130 You know you really are an asswipe! 130 00:14:20,130 --> 00:14:22,930 Sorry. I didn't mean that either. I didn't mean to say that. 131 00:14:23,150 --> 00:14:26,630 You have a car? You dropped my cat? - Hmm? 132 00:14:26,630 --> 00:14:31,100 You have a car. - Yeah. Well... we go to the seminar first, 133 00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:32,810 and then we bury your cat. 134 00:14:32,810 --> 00:14:35,000 He'll defrost. - Pack him in ice. 135 00:14:37,250 --> 00:14:38,890 ...That's a good idea, Ed. 136 00:14:41,380 --> 00:14:43,030 I'll go get the cooler. 137 00:14:50,370 --> 00:14:54,300 This car belongs to the organization. Pretty nice, eh? 138 00:14:54,930 --> 00:14:58,050 They let me borrow it especially for this. 139 00:15:03,140 --> 00:15:06,620 Hey! Uh, I'll drive. Hey! What are you doing?! Hey! 140 00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:08,420 Open the door! Open! 141 00:15:08,910 --> 00:15:11,450 Alright! This is an official car! 142 00:15:12,880 --> 00:15:14,330 No, no, no! 143 00:15:15,230 --> 00:15:16,720 What do you think you're doing?! 144 00:15:24,600 --> 00:15:26,110 Turn right. Turn right! 145 00:15:28,640 --> 00:15:29,950 Ok, uh, turn left! 146 00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:35,890 Great. You're not really going to the seminar, are you? 147 00:15:35,910 --> 00:15:37,810 I'm not stupid, I know what you're up to! 148 00:15:37,810 --> 00:15:40,580 We have to be back before 10 o'clock, ok?. We have to be... 149 00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:42,260 back before the seminar's over. 150 00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:53,980 I don't mind your driving, less work for me if you do. I hate driving. 151 00:15:55,730 --> 00:15:58,390 Just works out that it's less work for me, more for you. You know what is... 152 00:15:59,310 --> 00:16:03,120 really sad is that you don't realize what you're missing. 153 00:16:03,330 --> 00:16:06,310 You have the potential to be rich, you know? 154 00:16:07,410 --> 00:16:10,230 You know the number one difference between you and a rich man? 155 00:16:10,990 --> 00:16:12,980 He has money and you don't. 156 00:16:13,190 --> 00:16:17,260 If you're smart, you'd ask yourself, "why?". 157 00:16:19,410 --> 00:16:24,310 What is the matter with you anyway? I mean, don't you want to be a success? 158 00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:29,240 I tell you, the difference between a guy like me and a guy like you... 159 00:16:29,260 --> 00:16:31,110 is that I've learned from my mistakes. 160 00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:36,610 I used to be really messed up. You know, I had a bad temper, the seminar... 161 00:16:36,610 --> 00:16:37,500 taught me how to control it. - Would you shut up about that seminar! 162 00:16:40,260 --> 00:16:42,920 You shut up you pissant son of a bitch! 163 00:16:43,380 --> 00:16:45,710 Sorry! Didn't mean that. 164 00:16:49,030 --> 00:16:51,660 Hey listen, could you pull over. I gotta see a man about a dog. 165 00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:11,470 Where'd you get the beer? - Store. 166 00:17:15,080 --> 00:17:17,180 I guess I'll have one. 167 00:17:23,870 --> 00:17:28,820 You know, we don't drink beer at the organization. It's kind of a crutch for... 168 00:17:28,820 --> 00:17:30,170 reality avoidance. 169 00:17:36,030 --> 00:17:39,710 Organization really gets you thinking about things in a whole new light, you know? 170 00:17:40,670 --> 00:17:45,250 Like... ever wonder why people wear clothes? - Nope! 171 00:17:46,070 --> 00:17:50,880 Look at it this way, man's best friend is his apparel. Now... 172 00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:55,290 you start to dress for success and you will score with the babes and 173 00:17:55,290 --> 00:17:58,360 make the big bucks. Gotta admit that's true. 174 00:17:58,360 --> 00:18:01,090 I don't have to admit that. - You have to admit that! 175 00:18:01,090 --> 00:18:02,420 No I don't! - Yes you do! 176 00:18:02,570 --> 00:18:03,750 I don't have to admit anything. 177 00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:05,670 You have to admit there's hair on your head. 178 00:18:05,670 --> 00:18:07,630 No I don't. - Well you have to admit that! 179 00:18:08,020 --> 00:18:09,580 Well you have to admit your cat's dead! 180 00:18:09,580 --> 00:18:11,420 He's deader than a doornail! 181 00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:14,710 That cat is colder than a well-digger's ass! 182 00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:21,760 Pretty hard to deny that isn't it, Mr. Smartypants. 183 00:18:22,610 --> 00:18:27,290 Yep! Deceased. El Morto. No more mister kitty cat. 184 00:18:30,670 --> 00:18:36,010 Man, I love drama. Really gets the old juices flowing. 185 00:18:52,430 --> 00:18:57,050 What... oh no, it's after midnight! I have to get this car back! 186 00:18:57,140 --> 00:19:00,410 This road leads to the freeway. 187 00:19:00,450 --> 00:19:01,870 Oh horseshit! 188 00:19:04,620 --> 00:19:07,190 It's not a road - it's a river! - River! 189 00:19:07,650 --> 00:19:10,750 Stupid! It's the middle of the desert. 190 00:19:16,060 --> 00:19:19,340 Turn around. I can't go out here. I have a heart condition. 191 00:19:19,820 --> 00:19:24,690 I have to bury Simon first. - Bury the stinkin' cat now and turn around! 192 00:19:24,690 --> 00:19:27,030 It has to be the right spot! 193 00:19:31,450 --> 00:19:38,280 Great! This is just great! Now I'm stuck in the middle of the desert with an ignoramus! 194 00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:42,390 You're the ignoramus! This is your car! 195 00:19:42,390 --> 00:19:46,820 Stop! Have some of your cereal! See how you like that! Huh!? 196 00:19:48,390 --> 00:19:51,820 Rub it in your hair and stick it up your butt! 197 00:19:58,930 --> 00:20:02,330 Don't ever - ever! Call my cat stinky! 198 00:20:08,300 --> 00:20:12,310 You're a killer! You're a sick killer! 199 00:20:50,020 --> 00:20:53,530 Hey! - Oh... where are... please. 200 00:20:54,110 --> 00:20:56,020 Car won't start. - Huh?! 201 00:21:07,020 --> 00:21:09,420 Pop the hood, will you? 202 00:21:15,670 --> 00:21:20,350 Ahh! I'm going to get kicked out of the organization for this. 203 00:21:21,220 --> 00:21:27,220 The freeway's just over that hill. Go call the organization tell them to come out here to pick us up. 204 00:21:29,150 --> 00:21:32,930 Just give them a buzz. Tell them out in the middle of the desert 205 00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:35,050 with an asswipe and a frozen cat. 206 00:21:36,660 --> 00:21:40,260 Why don't you go call your mother and have her come out here and push us back? 207 00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:52,310 Get that stinky cat out of my car and bury it. 208 00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:54,740 This isn't the right spot. 209 00:21:56,560 --> 00:21:59,290 This... is the right spot. 210 00:22:05,690 --> 00:22:08,160 Don't touch my cat. 211 00:22:10,310 --> 00:22:11,340 Okay. 212 00:22:12,370 --> 00:22:14,910 Don't come crying to me if you can't find the right spot. 213 00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:19,730 Anybody in their right mind would be pleased as punch to bury a cat here. 214 00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:26,830 Well, we've got to get organized. 215 00:22:28,420 --> 00:22:33,460 Now, do you remember where it was that you went off the highway? 216 00:22:33,570 --> 00:22:34,940 I don't remember. 217 00:22:35,560 --> 00:22:39,840 Uh... do you remember the name of the last town we went through? 218 00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:45,520 I think it started with a B. - Well it is kind of important you know... 219 00:22:45,520 --> 00:22:50,070 A lot of towns start with B. Boston. Barcelonia... 220 00:22:50,110 --> 00:22:54,340 It wasn't Barcelonia. - I know it wasn't Barcelonia, that's in Spain! 221 00:22:56,410 --> 00:23:02,870 Well. I think that the closest town is this spot here. Prod. 222 00:23:05,170 --> 00:23:06,530 Prod's that way. 223 00:23:07,320 --> 00:23:08,920 No, it's not. It's that way. 224 00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:21,080 Hey! Uh. I kind of think we should stick together. 225 00:23:22,850 --> 00:23:26,980 Ok! I won't fight it! It's your problem! 226 00:23:27,450 --> 00:23:34,420 It's your life you're ruining! I am not going that way! I am going to Prod! 227 00:24:24,490 --> 00:24:27,330 Maybe I should get back to the car. 228 00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:30,740 Maybe I should hurry. 229 00:24:34,270 --> 00:24:39,330 You see, Simon? This is what happens when you go out of the house. 230 00:25:11,410 --> 00:25:12,190 Ahh! 231 00:25:15,530 --> 00:25:16,000 Ahh! 232 00:25:25,060 --> 00:25:29,240 Ha ha ha! 233 00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:34,440 Ooh! - Go ahead and laugh! I doesn't hurt me if you laugh. 234 00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:39,290 Ha! Ha! Ha! Did you find the freeway funny guy? 235 00:25:39,290 --> 00:25:41,150 Did you see the freeway? 236 00:25:44,850 --> 00:25:46,160 No. 237 00:25:50,620 --> 00:25:54,630 Prod's that way. - No it's not. I went that way. 238 00:25:54,710 --> 00:25:58,770 Look. We've got to get organized. We have to set goals. 239 00:26:00,700 --> 00:26:06,770 Why don't we bury your cat here and we'll follow the car tracks back the way we came? 240 00:26:09,510 --> 00:26:10,100 Okay. 241 00:26:11,170 --> 00:26:13,830 Now you're talking. 242 00:26:13,860 --> 00:26:19,440 We could bury a cat under that cactus and that way he would have a 243 00:26:19,460 --> 00:26:21,880 beautiful view of the rocks. 244 00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:24,010 Bury him up there. 245 00:26:25,250 --> 00:26:26,760 Up there? 246 00:26:29,510 --> 00:26:32,430 Alright but I'm not going to walk all the way up there. 247 00:26:32,460 --> 00:26:34,120 I am not going to ruin my feet. 248 00:26:35,500 --> 00:26:37,720 What are you going to dig the hole with? 249 00:26:40,110 --> 00:26:42,120 I don't know what he think's he's going to dig the hole with... 250 00:26:59,890 --> 00:27:01,340 What's that? 251 00:27:03,770 --> 00:27:06,150 House? - Might have a phone. 252 00:27:07,700 --> 00:27:11,020 Let's finish up here quick and go see. 253 00:27:18,100 --> 00:27:20,470 You better get that cat in the ground real fast. 254 00:27:23,230 --> 00:27:26,130 I mean there could be puma's around here, you know? 255 00:27:28,120 --> 00:27:32,110 Puma can smell a dead cat fourty miles off. 256 00:27:54,710 --> 00:27:57,030 Quit stalling. Bury the cat. 257 00:28:06,120 --> 00:28:10,090 It's gonna get weird now, isn't it? - This isn't the right spot. 258 00:28:11,120 --> 00:28:14,890 Bury him over by the house. - Are you crazy?! 259 00:28:14,940 --> 00:28:17,920 This is the perfect spot to bury a cat! 260 00:28:18,010 --> 00:28:23,480 Any cat in their right mind would be happy as a clam to be buried here! 261 00:28:24,600 --> 00:28:30,620 Good Lord! Not the right spot! You got a big problem, Rubin. 262 00:28:31,110 --> 00:28:33,030 You got a big problem. 263 00:28:36,130 --> 00:28:40,410 I am an incredibly powerful sales person who 264 00:28:40,430 --> 00:28:46,510 continually climbs higher and higher up the ladder of success. 265 00:28:47,360 --> 00:28:51,220 I am an incredibly powerful sales person who 266 00:28:51,540 --> 00:28:53,940 continually climbs higher and higher... 267 00:29:02,310 --> 00:29:06,640 Man... it is el warmo out here. 268 00:29:07,420 --> 00:29:10,250 I am thirsty! Aren't you thirsty? 269 00:29:30,930 --> 00:29:32,940 Oh... Lord! 270 00:29:34,590 --> 00:29:36,290 Oh Lord! 271 00:29:37,090 --> 00:29:42,900 That is the most disgusting thing I have ever seen. Boy... talk about el weirdo! 272 00:29:43,050 --> 00:29:44,950 You take the cake, buster. 273 00:29:48,270 --> 00:29:51,210 Hey... could we rest for a minute?! 274 00:29:53,440 --> 00:29:56,320 I have a heart condition, you know. I have to take care of myself. 275 00:29:58,340 --> 00:30:00,570 I don't care what you do. I'm resting. 276 00:30:14,800 --> 00:30:16,410 You ever married, Rubin? 277 00:30:19,130 --> 00:30:20,690 Yeah, I was married... once. 278 00:30:22,880 --> 00:30:28,890 Yeah I said, "honey, I could make a lot of money for you." So - she married me. 279 00:30:30,080 --> 00:30:33,880 Three years later I'm still making nine thou a year, so she left. 280 00:30:35,990 --> 00:30:38,480 That's when I first became interested in the organization. 281 00:30:38,850 --> 00:30:43,780 Would you shut up about the organization?! I'm not interested, okay?! 282 00:30:43,790 --> 00:30:45,890 Okay. Take it easy. 283 00:30:49,920 --> 00:30:53,620 So... what kind of cat was Simon? 284 00:30:54,080 --> 00:30:57,890 A good cat. - I mean, was he siamese or what? 285 00:31:19,660 --> 00:31:22,760 Look, I was just trying to be friendly. 286 00:31:23,350 --> 00:31:25,750 I like cats too, you know. 287 00:31:33,040 --> 00:31:39,700 My cat liked music. - Music? You into Cat Stevens? Ha ha! 288 00:31:43,520 --> 00:31:48,120 Mahler. - Mahler? That's weird. 289 00:31:48,800 --> 00:31:51,860 Did you ever see that movie Cat People? - Cat People? 290 00:31:51,860 --> 00:31:57,070 Yeah Cat People. They worshipped cats. Hated dogs but worshipped cats. 291 00:31:57,610 --> 00:32:00,030 I saw part of Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. 292 00:32:01,130 --> 00:32:02,660 You ever see Chat Bleu? 293 00:32:04,660 --> 00:32:07,530 Man, that is a powerful flick. 294 00:32:25,780 --> 00:32:28,940 What happened to it's tail? - Fan. 295 00:32:29,870 --> 00:32:38,450 Fan's can be damn dangerous. - Fan's caused 1,114 serious injuries in 1988. 296 00:32:38,870 --> 00:32:40,030 Incredible. 297 00:32:43,420 --> 00:32:48,170 You can keep that. Got 23 more of those. 298 00:32:52,980 --> 00:32:57,050 Did you ever have a dog? I had one once. Pointer. 299 00:32:58,450 --> 00:33:01,400 He never could figure out what to point at. 300 00:33:03,550 --> 00:33:05,300 People like that. 301 00:33:08,970 --> 00:33:10,840 People are like that, Rubin. 302 00:33:12,010 --> 00:33:15,370 They don't know what they're supposed to do. 303 00:33:17,050 --> 00:33:20,360 The organization could be so helpful for a guy like you. 304 00:33:21,120 --> 00:33:24,590 For $300 I could start you on the installment plan. 305 00:33:26,870 --> 00:33:31,530 You need help, Rubin! Look at your clothes. - I like these clothes! 306 00:33:31,530 --> 00:33:35,610 Well, you don't have a job! - I have money! 307 00:33:35,610 --> 00:33:39,250 Well, you don't have any friends. Now you have to admit that! 308 00:33:39,560 --> 00:33:42,720 Nobody really likes you, Rubin. I mean really. 309 00:33:43,830 --> 00:33:47,050 Rubin... Rubin. 310 00:33:59,040 --> 00:34:03,260 I knew it. We came all the way out here for nothing! 311 00:34:15,920 --> 00:34:20,360 So Lord... Oh! That is the most repulsive thing... 312 00:34:29,500 --> 00:34:35,930 Hey! C'mon. Now let's go. Let's go back to the car and follow our tracks. 313 00:34:47,110 --> 00:34:53,030 That isn't funny. Any Warhol was a successful artist. 314 00:34:53,230 --> 00:34:58,790 What did he paint? He painted Campbell's Soup cans. 315 00:35:03,040 --> 00:35:05,720 Look I really don't want to talk about art right now. Let's go. 316 00:35:06,500 --> 00:35:09,720 He doesn't sound so great to me, he sounds like a fraud. 317 00:35:10,060 --> 00:35:14,180 That's absurd! He's famous. - Well you can be famous and be... 318 00:35:14,180 --> 00:35:17,710 a fraud... a famous fraud! Ha ha! 319 00:35:18,460 --> 00:35:22,660 I really don't want to talk about art. Never talk about art or religion or politics. 320 00:35:22,660 --> 00:35:25,170 No wonder you don't have any friends. 321 00:35:28,280 --> 00:35:30,680 At least I'm not a fraud. 322 00:35:32,230 --> 00:35:36,830 Fraud failure like you! - I don't have time for this. 323 00:35:38,880 --> 00:35:42,440 Have to admit you're a failure, Ed. Have to admit your wife left you... 324 00:35:42,440 --> 00:35:46,570 she couldn't stand to live with a fraud failure! Ha ha! 325 00:35:47,430 --> 00:35:52,890 You leave my wife out of this! I'm walking back to the car and following the tracks... 326 00:35:52,890 --> 00:35:55,520 back to the road, and I'm going to Prod. 327 00:35:56,720 --> 00:35:59,230 Ha ha ha! Go ahead! 328 00:36:00,560 --> 00:36:06,140 Prod is just over that hill! I'll be in Prod before you! 329 00:36:07,590 --> 00:36:09,650 Ha ha ha! 330 00:36:25,250 --> 00:36:27,830 Where's the car? - I don't know. 331 00:36:30,320 --> 00:36:32,770 Where are you going? - Away from you! 332 00:36:47,150 --> 00:36:49,920 I can't believe you're still carrying that thing. 333 00:36:51,110 --> 00:36:57,610 You know what I think? I think you're afraid to bury that cat because it's all you have. 334 00:36:57,930 --> 00:37:01,440 That's what I think. What do you think about that?! 335 00:37:01,880 --> 00:37:07,320 I think... your car's that way. - Well then go that way! 336 00:37:07,330 --> 00:37:11,250 Stop following me! Go ruin somebody else's life! 337 00:37:41,210 --> 00:37:47,650 And another thing! I don't look at failure as failure! I look at failure as... 338 00:37:47,650 --> 00:37:53,530 an opportunity to develop my senses. I laugh at failure - ha ha ha! 339 00:37:53,530 --> 00:37:56,210 Ow! Son of a bitch! Ah! 340 00:38:07,750 --> 00:38:09,380 I knew I could find it. 341 00:38:11,280 --> 00:38:13,500 Didn't fail at that, did I? 342 00:38:14,890 --> 00:38:18,370 Oh, brother. Mr. Busta's gonna love this! 343 00:38:42,540 --> 00:38:46,310 Okay! Ha ha! 344 00:38:52,380 --> 00:38:58,290 Just see who get's to Prod first, sucker! Ha ha! 345 00:39:53,280 --> 00:39:59,310 Ed. First thing's first. Now remember, the big "E" - enthusiasm! 346 00:40:02,050 --> 00:40:06,060 Hello? - Hello Rula, I was just thinking about you... 347 00:40:06,060 --> 00:40:10,230 and I thought I'd give you a bell. - You've got a big problem, Ed! 348 00:40:10,230 --> 00:40:13,780 Yeah I know. - And you know the problem, isn't the problem. 349 00:40:13,780 --> 00:40:17,920 - It's how you handle a problem, that's a problem! I know. I know. 350 00:40:18,290 --> 00:40:22,530 I think I deserve a bread winner, Ed. And I'm not talking about Wonderbread. 351 00:40:22,560 --> 00:40:24,040 I'm talking about croissants. 352 00:40:24,950 --> 00:40:31,170 Right now, Rula, I am out in the desert handling a big mineral deal... 353 00:40:31,170 --> 00:40:33,220 You know minerals will really skyrocketing. 354 00:40:34,270 --> 00:40:37,610 I mean these oil people keep me really jumping. 355 00:40:37,610 --> 00:40:43,980 Ha! I thought you said it was minerals? - Well. Minerals... and oil. You know. 356 00:40:43,980 --> 00:40:47,750 Actually it's a big mineral oil deal. - Mmm... 357 00:40:48,220 --> 00:40:54,560 Mineral oil... um. Rula, could we just have a nice dinner some time? 358 00:40:55,630 --> 00:40:56,770 It's over, Ed. 359 00:40:58,070 --> 00:41:02,250 Why does it have to be over? Please deposit $2.05 for the next 3 minutes. 360 00:41:02,410 --> 00:41:05,580 Why does it have to be over, Rula? Please deposit $2.05... 361 00:41:05,920 --> 00:41:10,430 I don't have $2.05! Rula!... Rula!... 362 00:41:18,010 --> 00:41:21,710 Real smooth, Ed. Real smooth. 363 00:41:28,500 --> 00:41:35,660 Thanks. Listen, I'm looking for a friend. He's got long hair and thick glasses... 364 00:41:35,660 --> 00:41:39,700 He's wearing bell-bottom pants. - Never seen a guy like that. 365 00:41:39,740 --> 00:41:42,960 I never seen a guy like that either. What's he drivin'? 366 00:41:43,020 --> 00:41:46,290 We had car trouble and he decided to walk. 367 00:41:48,900 --> 00:41:52,250 On foot? A man don't last long out there on foot. 368 00:41:52,470 --> 00:41:53,790 Where'd you break down? 369 00:41:55,830 --> 00:41:58,660 Sounds like he's out there on Snake Flats. - Guy from New York died... 370 00:41:58,660 --> 00:42:01,500 from a snake that bit him out there. - That was a scorpion! 371 00:42:01,600 --> 00:42:03,790 There are thousands more scorpions than there are snakes. 372 00:42:03,790 --> 00:42:07,560 - That was a snake! A big snake! I outta know, I drove him to the hospital. 373 00:42:08,100 --> 00:42:11,920 If your friend's headed north, why he's gonna fall right down an abandoned mine shaft! 374 00:42:11,920 --> 00:42:13,660 That's not north, that's west! 375 00:42:13,810 --> 00:42:17,680 West is the test site. - Test site's east. Sun comes up... 376 00:42:17,680 --> 00:42:19,400 in the east, goes down in the west. 377 00:42:20,410 --> 00:42:23,740 I sure hope your friend didn't go out east. Radiation could kill a man in 30 seconds. 378 00:42:24,040 --> 00:42:26,250 He's exaggerating, it takes longer than that. 379 00:42:26,480 --> 00:42:30,140 It takes exactly 30 seconds! I outta know. I saw it on T.V.! 380 00:42:30,450 --> 00:42:33,140 Radiation? - One thing about it though, if your friend is... 381 00:42:33,140 --> 00:42:36,050 still alive. This is where he'll show up. 382 00:42:36,280 --> 00:42:39,740 Not another town for 100 miles. He'll show up. 383 00:42:40,740 --> 00:42:42,160 Course he will. 384 00:42:43,210 --> 00:42:44,650 Course he will... 385 00:44:33,900 --> 00:44:36,870 Wow! Ha ha ha! 386 00:45:33,090 --> 00:45:35,290 Do something, Ed! 387 00:45:38,750 --> 00:45:40,700 Take control! 388 00:45:43,370 --> 00:45:48,630 Hello? - Hello, mom. I want you to call the organization... 389 00:45:48,630 --> 00:45:51,480 -and tell them that I'm sick. You're not sick. You get over here and mow my... 390 00:45:51,480 --> 00:45:53,320 lawn just you said you was going to. 391 00:45:53,320 --> 00:45:57,260 I'll do that later, mom. Just call the organization, okay? 392 00:46:07,140 --> 00:46:08,630 Yes, I'll accept the call. 393 00:46:09,310 --> 00:46:13,700 Hello Ed, where you are son? - Prod! Stupid, Utah! 394 00:46:13,700 --> 00:46:17,400 Is mom still there? - Your mother's pretty well steamed. 395 00:46:17,560 --> 00:46:20,730 The organization's been here twice this morning. They're pretty well steamed too. 396 00:46:21,140 --> 00:46:24,100 A fella named Busta stopped by and wants to know where you're at. 397 00:46:24,130 --> 00:46:25,690 Mr. Busta? - Yes. 398 00:46:25,940 --> 00:46:30,280 He said that you better have that car back by 5 o'clock or he's gonna have to call the police. 399 00:46:30,280 --> 00:46:34,110 Police?! Oh... great! 400 00:46:34,940 --> 00:46:39,610 Terrific! Thanks a lot dad. Now, can you put mom back on? 401 00:46:40,340 --> 00:46:41,900 Hey, mom, it's for you. 402 00:46:43,580 --> 00:46:45,260 Hello, mom. - Yes? 403 00:46:45,830 --> 00:46:48,730 Mom, is that you? - Yes! 404 00:46:49,990 --> 00:46:51,970 Ha ha! 405 00:46:54,580 --> 00:46:58,260 You tell that idiot in the bell-bottoms when he shows up I couldn't wait. 406 00:46:58,260 --> 00:47:00,650 Okay. What if he don't? - Don't what? 407 00:47:00,650 --> 00:47:01,580 Show up? 408 00:47:03,260 --> 00:47:05,940 I gotta go find him, right? - I dunno. 409 00:47:05,960 --> 00:47:09,990 I got to find him or he'll get bit by a radiated snake and he'll fall... 410 00:47:09,990 --> 00:47:11,960 down an abandoned mine shaft, right? 411 00:47:11,960 --> 00:47:15,730 I dunno. - Well, forget it. He's on his own! 412 00:47:28,080 --> 00:47:33,120 I'm happy as hell ol' batface is out there shriveling up like an old turd, I'm happy as hell! 413 00:47:34,380 --> 00:47:37,630 I'm... happy as hell! 414 00:47:41,230 --> 00:47:46,010 Okay... I have to go back to get the hopeless son of a bitch! 415 00:47:48,040 --> 00:47:51,050 It's his own damn fault! 416 00:47:51,050 --> 00:47:57,270 I can't believe anybody would ever suck on Odor Eaters! Ugh! 417 00:48:22,290 --> 00:48:25,620 Ahh! Ahh! 418 00:48:34,010 --> 00:48:41,090 No! No, no! - Ah ha ha ha! Alright! 419 00:48:45,790 --> 00:48:54,850 Ugh! Oh. Heart. Oh. Oh. 420 00:48:56,490 --> 00:49:00,890 Just take it easy, Ed. Just take it... easy. 421 00:49:41,860 --> 00:49:44,000 Echo... 422 00:49:45,100 --> 00:49:48,140 Echo! 423 00:50:19,290 --> 00:50:22,750 Ow ow ow ow ow. 424 00:50:32,680 --> 00:50:35,150 Echo people. 425 00:51:08,310 --> 00:51:09,630 Wow! 426 00:51:17,370 --> 00:51:18,530 Meow! 427 00:51:30,450 --> 00:51:32,560 Meow. 428 00:51:34,880 --> 00:51:39,670 Hello Rubin! I love you! I love your shoes! 429 00:51:39,940 --> 00:51:45,650 You're a king! A king! A king! 430 00:51:45,650 --> 00:51:49,010 My cat can eat a whole watermelon! 431 00:51:49,560 --> 00:51:51,220 Meow! 432 00:52:05,170 --> 00:52:08,660 Hey. Hey! Hey weirdo! Hey weirdo! 433 00:52:10,420 --> 00:52:13,790 Hey weirdo! Hey weirdo! Come out and play! 434 00:52:14,860 --> 00:52:18,820 C'mon weirdo! Your cat's down here! Ha ha ha! 435 00:52:19,710 --> 00:52:22,540 Uh oh! Cat overboard! 436 00:52:23,860 --> 00:52:27,190 Not much of a swimmer, is he? - Hey! 437 00:52:39,060 --> 00:52:40,630 Meow! 438 00:53:09,680 --> 00:53:12,820 That's an asswipe up there. 439 00:53:25,710 --> 00:53:27,710 Rubin... 440 00:53:30,350 --> 00:53:34,280 Hey! This is not all that humorous you know. 441 00:53:35,970 --> 00:53:37,980 Holy Moses. 442 00:53:45,350 --> 00:53:50,520 Indian. Could be Apache. 443 00:53:57,130 --> 00:54:02,930 Oh! Ha ha! There you are! Boy you look like a total dork! 444 00:54:04,480 --> 00:54:08,670 Echo people. - Echo people? God Lord. 445 00:54:09,230 --> 00:54:10,360 Uh. Get up. 446 00:54:10,790 --> 00:54:13,890 Echo people. - Rubin. Get up! 447 00:54:14,350 --> 00:54:20,000 Let's get your jacket on there. Yeah, hypothermia won't help. 448 00:54:20,260 --> 00:54:24,980 Get that jacket on. Atta boy. Good work! Okay! 449 00:54:25,430 --> 00:54:26,500 Let's go! 450 00:54:27,450 --> 00:54:32,070 You're gonna... you'll want to let go of that cooler, Rubin. 451 00:54:32,780 --> 00:54:36,920 Rubin, let go of the!... 452 00:54:38,000 --> 00:54:41,960 Okay! That's good! That's good! No cat! C'mon! C'mon! 453 00:54:42,320 --> 00:54:48,750 Let's get up on our feet here. Yeah! C'mon! Atta boy. You can do it. That's it. Okay. 454 00:54:50,120 --> 00:54:52,720 Nope, nope! Nevermind, it's time to go! 455 00:54:54,840 --> 00:54:58,120 Okay... okay... 456 00:54:59,230 --> 00:55:05,120 I'll bury Simon. You be the supervisor, I'll be the burier. 457 00:55:05,900 --> 00:55:10,610 Then... we are going to march out of here. Okay? 458 00:55:10,720 --> 00:55:14,860 Now you see? This is how you dig a hole. 459 00:55:15,590 --> 00:55:19,940 Tellin' you, Rubin. Your whole problem is. You just won't let go! 460 00:55:20,110 --> 00:55:22,970 You can't hold on to something when it's dead! 461 00:55:24,170 --> 00:55:27,990 Man, anybody ever needed that seminar... it is you! 462 00:55:28,960 --> 00:55:33,140 Go on to the next step. If you don't, well you find... 463 00:55:33,140 --> 00:55:39,380 yourself all of a sudden standing there holding a big ol' pile of nothing! 464 00:55:40,710 --> 00:55:41,920 I know. 465 00:55:44,750 --> 00:55:48,430 I was on the road to success. Sure... 466 00:55:48,990 --> 00:55:53,450 I coulda been driving my own Thunderbird. No! 467 00:55:55,500 --> 00:56:01,440 I had to let it all go, so I could come out to this god forsaken place... 468 00:56:01,440 --> 00:56:06,560 and show some asswipe how to bury a soggy cat! 469 00:56:16,610 --> 00:56:20,550 I'm sorry, Rubin. I didn't mean it. 470 00:56:25,850 --> 00:56:33,300 Oh Lord! Hell of a good looking cat you've got here, Rubin. Magnificent... creature! 471 00:56:40,080 --> 00:56:42,230 Sorry, Simon. 472 00:56:45,470 --> 00:56:49,900 It's like a custom fit! Ha ha! Look at this, Rubin! 473 00:56:49,900 --> 00:56:54,340 Here's ol' Mickey! Rubber squeaky mouse! 474 00:56:55,290 --> 00:56:58,080 Right in there with good ol' Simon. 475 00:56:58,940 --> 00:57:04,610 Boy. I tell you Rubin, this is really a swell place that you've picked here. 476 00:57:04,850 --> 00:57:09,070 I mean this is tremendous! Oh boy, I'm not kidding either! 477 00:57:09,170 --> 00:57:14,680 Any cat would be... proud as a clam to be buried here! 478 00:57:17,720 --> 00:57:23,590 Okay. Yeah, if that doesn't say "Here Lies Simon", I don't know what does. 479 00:57:24,970 --> 00:57:27,070 How's that? Okay? 480 00:57:31,760 --> 00:57:33,140 Right. 481 00:57:38,770 --> 00:57:43,730 Dear Lord. Uh. Bless this feline. 482 00:57:44,430 --> 00:57:47,210 Um. He's a good cat. 483 00:57:52,790 --> 00:57:56,630 He was a good friend to Rubin. - Yeah... 484 00:57:57,480 --> 00:58:02,140 Even though Rubin himself can really be a... well... 485 00:58:04,510 --> 00:58:08,070 Rubin loved this cat. 486 00:58:14,070 --> 00:58:15,760 Amen. 487 00:58:26,940 --> 00:58:30,480 I don't see anything that looks familiar. I don't know where the hell I am... 488 00:58:30,480 --> 00:58:31,920 Does this look familiar to you? 489 00:58:32,460 --> 00:58:38,040 My cat can eat a whole watermelon. - Oh, horseshit! 490 00:58:43,150 --> 00:58:50,080 There! Jabber down there with the rest of the crockpots! See how you like that! 491 00:58:52,690 --> 00:58:59,070 Echo people worshipped cats. - Oh Echo people my butt! There are no Echo people. 492 00:58:59,260 --> 00:59:05,290 I told you that 15 times. Just shut up about the Echo people. Jesus. 493 00:59:18,430 --> 00:59:20,210 Heart! 494 00:59:41,410 --> 00:59:44,720 After admitting that your wife left you, she couldn't stand to live with a 495 00:59:44,720 --> 00:59:45,860 fraud failure! 496 00:59:46,950 --> 00:59:47,950 I love you Ed. 497 01:00:11,960 --> 01:00:13,980 Where it happen...? 498 01:00:16,680 --> 01:00:18,160 What happened? 499 01:00:26,700 --> 01:00:28,600 C'mon Rubbie, let's go. 500 01:00:33,390 --> 01:00:34,970 Can you get up? 501 01:00:44,450 --> 01:00:48,390 Son of a bitch. That dirty son of a bitch! 502 01:01:04,440 --> 01:01:06,830 Now I'm not one to mettle in another's business... - Good. 503 01:01:07,590 --> 01:01:10,400 You feeling better Rubin? - Better. 504 01:01:10,450 --> 01:01:13,020 You don't seem like no kidnapper to me. 505 01:01:13,020 --> 01:01:15,290 Kidnapper? What are you talking about? 506 01:01:15,580 --> 01:01:18,230 Seems that fella who's head you're watering there, his mother found... 507 01:01:18,230 --> 01:01:20,250 your business card, reported him kidnapped. 508 01:01:21,230 --> 01:01:24,500 How would you know that? - State trooper's through here an hour ago. 509 01:01:24,740 --> 01:01:29,850 Your mother told him you were in Prod. - My mother... that figures! 510 01:01:29,920 --> 01:01:32,730 They said you was a dangerous car thief and kidnapper. 511 01:01:33,210 --> 01:01:35,310 You don't look all that kidnapped to me. 512 01:01:44,180 --> 01:01:46,210 Listen um... 513 01:01:46,680 --> 01:01:50,630 Could I borrow a quarter? I want to get this thing straightened out right away. 514 01:01:50,900 --> 01:01:55,000 Thanks. Police are reasonable people, they'll understand. 515 01:01:55,320 --> 01:01:56,620 Course they will. 516 01:02:02,630 --> 01:02:06,040 Sheriff's Department. - Hello, Police, uh. This is Ed Tuttle... 517 01:02:06,040 --> 01:02:07,500 uh, the kidnapper you're after. 518 01:02:08,040 --> 01:02:13,730 Um, I think there's been a little misunderstanding. I was just helping bury a frozen cat. 519 01:02:14,070 --> 01:02:16,510 Mr. Tuttle - is Rubin Farr alright? 520 01:02:17,410 --> 01:02:22,200 Oh, he is so messed up it is unbelievable. 521 01:02:22,350 --> 01:02:27,030 Uh but it was his cat, it was not mine. I said look, I said let's bury him under... 522 01:02:27,030 --> 01:02:31,770 that cactus but no, he wanted to bury him in the cave of the Echo people so... 523 01:02:31,770 --> 01:02:37,040 anyway, I haven't done anything and I just wanted you to get this all straightened out, okay? 524 01:02:37,090 --> 01:02:39,310 Where are you now, Mr. Tuttle? Are you in Prod? 525 01:02:39,380 --> 01:02:40,570 Well of course I'm in Prod. 526 01:02:41,010 --> 01:02:42,190 Rubin's with me. 527 01:02:42,700 --> 01:02:44,610 Why, why... why do you care where we're at? 528 01:02:44,610 --> 01:02:49,970 Just, uh, di - you don't need to know that, okay? I haven't done anything! 529 01:02:49,970 --> 01:02:53,760 Just calm down, Mr. Tuttle. - You calm down! You are the ones... 530 01:02:53,760 --> 01:02:57,950 who are supposed to calm down, alright?! Why the hell are you harassing me anyway?! 531 01:02:58,010 --> 01:03:00,740 I haven't done anything... - Mr. Tuttle just stay where you are at. 532 01:03:00,820 --> 01:03:07,100 Don't Mr. Tuttle me! Alright?! Now if you bozo's had an ounce of sense... 533 01:03:07,100 --> 01:03:11,340 you'd go after the real criminals! You'd go after the son of a bitch that spray painted... 534 01:03:11,340 --> 01:03:14,660 "Andy Warhol sucks a big one" on my car! 535 01:03:20,470 --> 01:03:24,680 Well... that oughta straighten it all out. - Yeah... 536 01:03:27,730 --> 01:03:30,060 Rubin. We've gotta get out of here fast. 537 01:03:46,150 --> 01:03:47,750 Oh Lord! 538 01:04:04,780 --> 01:04:05,820 Head down! 539 01:04:12,710 --> 01:04:15,840 I can't believe it. It just keeps getting worse! 540 01:04:27,930 --> 01:04:30,910 You got any money? We need gas. 541 01:04:31,080 --> 01:04:33,820 Lost my wallet. - Oh that figures. 542 01:04:37,580 --> 01:04:40,140 Wrong street for my house. - I know that! 543 01:04:40,190 --> 01:04:47,030 Look we're not going anywhere unless we get some gas! Gotta be one around here somewhere... 544 01:04:49,190 --> 01:04:51,210 This is my old neighborhood. 545 01:05:12,750 --> 01:05:15,060 Oh, no. Rula! Ah! 546 01:05:18,880 --> 01:05:23,450 Hey, Ed! What are you doing in the bushes?! I want to go home! 547 01:05:25,720 --> 01:05:26,280 Shh! 548 01:05:27,310 --> 01:05:30,730 What? Want me to be quiet? 549 01:05:41,240 --> 01:05:47,520 Rula! ...What a wonderful surprise. I was just... 550 01:05:47,890 --> 01:05:51,780 looking for my cat! Bugger seems to have run off. 551 01:05:52,690 --> 01:05:55,360 You've got a big problem, Ed. 552 01:05:56,230 --> 01:05:59,530 I know. - And you're not ever gonna do anything about... 553 01:05:59,530 --> 01:06:03,520 the problem because you refuse to accept that you have one! 554 01:06:04,010 --> 01:06:06,560 I know. I know. - We better go, Rula. 555 01:06:06,560 --> 01:06:11,920 You're afraid to ask yourself the right questions. Why? Because you're afraid of... 556 01:06:11,920 --> 01:06:17,030 the answers but sometimes it's more important to ask the right questions... 557 01:06:17,030 --> 01:06:23,010 than it is to know the right answers! - Sometimes Rula, I dunno what the hell you're talking about. 558 01:06:24,490 --> 01:06:29,260 That's part of the problem. - I know! I know! 559 01:06:29,620 --> 01:06:35,540 We better go, Rula. - Don't you ever interrupt me. 560 01:06:35,540 --> 01:06:40,070 I'm sorry. I am. I'm sorry. - You've got a big problem too, ya know... 561 01:06:40,090 --> 01:06:41,740 Just who the hell are you anyway?! 562 01:06:44,100 --> 01:06:50,050 This is Jimbo. He is my... fiancé. - Your fiancé? 563 01:06:51,020 --> 01:06:54,430 You're gonna marry... him? - Hey! I resent that! 564 01:06:54,850 --> 01:06:58,450 How'd you like a kick right in the taco, buster? - Shut up, Ed! 565 01:06:58,630 --> 01:07:04,500 No! You shut up! I... am sick and tired of shutting up! 566 01:07:04,720 --> 01:07:07,540 C'mon Rula, let's go. - Let go of my arm! 567 01:07:07,730 --> 01:07:12,410 I am not the one with the problem! You're the fella with the problem! 568 01:07:12,410 --> 01:07:13,930 Oh yeah?! - Yeah! 569 01:07:13,930 --> 01:07:18,550 Ha ha! Well, you are lousy in bed! All those years... 570 01:07:18,550 --> 01:07:22,670 I never had one... single... orgasm. 571 01:07:24,760 --> 01:07:27,390 Ahh! 572 01:07:27,950 --> 01:07:29,470 Ha ha! You missed me! 573 01:07:30,050 --> 01:07:31,140 See I'm bleeding. I'm bleeding! 574 01:07:31,920 --> 01:07:36,400 You are a miserable, miserable, miserable, miserable failure! 575 01:07:38,570 --> 01:07:41,670 I hate you! - Rula. I'm going... I'm going. 576 01:07:41,770 --> 01:07:42,910 This. I'm going. 577 01:07:48,960 --> 01:07:50,480 Who's that? 578 01:07:51,330 --> 01:07:53,320 It's my wife. - You know what your problem is? 579 01:07:53,440 --> 01:07:56,620 You've got a persistent, personal dilemma. 580 01:07:57,000 --> 01:08:00,280 I'm gonna be sick! - That's why you'll never earn any money... 581 01:08:00,340 --> 01:08:05,540 and that's why you'll never be a success! God knows I tried to steer you in the... 582 01:08:05,540 --> 01:08:08,810 right direction! But you're so stupid! 583 01:08:08,910 --> 01:08:12,980 You couldn't get it! You're just a loser! 584 01:08:12,980 --> 01:08:15,220 You're just a hopeless loser! 585 01:08:40,380 --> 01:08:41,530 Ahh! 586 01:09:13,690 --> 01:09:17,120 She's the one with the problem. - Yeah I... 587 01:09:17,970 --> 01:09:22,130 She always... I just thought we were... 588 01:09:22,950 --> 01:09:26,400 something special, you know. - It's all messed up. 589 01:09:27,810 --> 01:09:30,390 You've gotta go on to the next step. 590 01:09:36,250 --> 01:09:41,590 Man! You really need that seminar! 591 01:09:42,050 --> 01:09:43,150 Ha ha! 592 01:09:44,390 --> 01:09:47,670 You really know how to hurt a guy, you know that? 593 01:09:48,690 --> 01:09:53,170 You... you... really need that seminar! 594 01:09:53,410 --> 01:09:55,460 Shut your yap! - Ha ha ha! 595 01:10:03,480 --> 01:10:06,850 Now chant along with me... I am incredi... 596 01:10:07,160 --> 01:10:08,740 Ha ha ha! 597 01:10:11,490 --> 01:10:16,180 You know, what the number one difference... between you and a rich man is? 598 01:10:16,440 --> 01:10:20,330 He's got money... and you don't! Ha ha ha! 599 01:10:20,440 --> 01:10:23,830 You know what the number one difference is between me and a rich man? 600 01:10:24,880 --> 01:10:28,060 He's got my bitchy wife and I don't! 601 01:10:28,440 --> 01:10:31,320 Ha ha ha! - Ha ha! 602 01:10:31,800 --> 01:10:35,450 And if he was smart, he would ask himself, "why?". 603 01:10:37,890 --> 01:10:46,360 I can't believe that you didn't even get one... person to that stupid seminar! Ha ha! 604 01:10:54,610 --> 01:10:56,850 I wear $1200 suits. 605 01:10:57,450 --> 01:10:59,960 That's a $2500 watch. 606 01:11:00,230 --> 01:11:03,500 I drive a Lincoln Continental and I park it in my 3 car garage... 607 01:11:03,500 --> 01:11:06,380 next to my Cadillac and my Mercedes. 608 01:11:06,830 --> 01:11:11,420 People who say that money can't buy happiness... just don't know where to shop! 609 01:11:11,660 --> 01:11:13,320 Ha ha ha! 610 01:11:20,340 --> 01:11:23,380 Shut up! You're going to sit down and you're going to be behave like a gentleman! 611 01:11:23,380 --> 01:11:24,030 Okay. Okay. 612 01:11:25,930 --> 01:11:26,930 Okay. C'mon. 613 01:11:28,850 --> 01:11:30,760 Excuse us, folks. Excuse us. 614 01:11:31,000 --> 01:11:32,050 Excuse us. 615 01:11:32,950 --> 01:11:37,880 Um. Sorry, sorry. Truly sorry. Sit down! Sit down! 616 01:11:39,710 --> 01:11:41,600 Car's back. Everything's cool. 617 01:11:47,220 --> 01:11:50,850 Tonight I'd like to introduce you to a couple of old friends. 618 01:11:51,440 --> 01:11:53,480 Who's the biggest failure in this room? 619 01:11:56,530 --> 01:11:58,800 Raise your hand, Ed. 620 01:11:59,060 --> 01:12:00,650 I don't see many hands going up. 621 01:12:01,710 --> 01:12:06,140 That's because that nobody's taught you that the secret to... 622 01:12:06,140 --> 01:12:12,400 success is to fail and keep trying! If you haven't failed, you haven't tried! 623 01:12:12,540 --> 01:12:17,270 Boy that's really profound. Sure worth $3000, hmm? 624 01:12:18,960 --> 01:12:21,570 Let me tell you something, pal. 625 01:12:21,570 --> 01:12:25,270 If you don't like what I'm saying, you can leave. Nobody's forcing you to stay here. 626 01:12:26,300 --> 01:12:28,430 Good! - Sit! 627 01:12:28,470 --> 01:12:31,510 Alright this has gone far enough! Would you escort Mr. Tuttle and his friend... 628 01:12:31,510 --> 01:12:32,450 to the door please. 629 01:12:32,450 --> 01:12:35,920 You touch me and I'll sue you into a coma. 630 01:12:36,190 --> 01:12:39,260 I paid my money and I'm staying. - Then be quiet! 631 01:12:39,530 --> 01:12:42,390 Okay, fine. It's your seminar. 632 01:12:43,050 --> 01:12:45,540 We'll be quiet. Won't we, Rubin. 633 01:12:48,070 --> 01:12:49,750 Quiet as clams. 634 01:12:51,040 --> 01:12:52,050 Good. 635 01:12:54,100 --> 01:12:55,440 Not a peep. 636 01:12:57,200 --> 01:12:58,530 Good. 637 01:13:00,990 --> 01:13:02,690 Quiet as a well-digger's ass. 638 01:13:03,710 --> 01:13:07,040 Will you shut up! - Sure. 639 01:13:13,030 --> 01:13:16,010 Success! - Success! 640 01:13:16,630 --> 01:13:17,860 Is there an echo in here? 641 01:13:18,140 --> 01:13:20,770 Real estate! - Real estate! 642 01:13:20,940 --> 01:13:25,110 The Power of Positive Real Estate! The "PPR"! 643 01:13:25,110 --> 01:13:28,010 The organization! - Yay! Yeah! 644 01:13:34,510 --> 01:13:37,810 Are you the kind of high caliber motivated individual that'll... 645 01:13:37,810 --> 01:13:40,610 stop at nothing to get what you deserve?! 646 01:13:41,500 --> 01:13:43,070 Who are you? 647 01:13:45,020 --> 01:13:46,020 Who are you... 648 01:13:49,620 --> 01:13:52,100 Who are you... 649 01:13:59,780 --> 01:14:03,240 I am the king of the Echo people. 650 01:14:13,680 --> 01:14:16,600 There's no reason to be pushing a person! - Get out of here! 651 01:14:16,600 --> 01:14:21,110 Oh yeah?! Hell, same goes to you and everybody who rode in with ya! 652 01:14:23,870 --> 01:14:25,360 Hey! What the hell... 653 01:14:25,680 --> 01:14:28,290 No we're quite alright! Ha! 654 01:14:28,290 --> 01:14:31,520 I gotta hand it to you, Rubin. That was el smarto! 655 01:14:31,620 --> 01:14:34,360 Boy you really make an impression. 656 01:14:35,470 --> 01:14:41,690 Those people are weird! - They're weird? Ha! You are the one who's weird. 657 01:14:41,690 --> 01:14:47,050 I mean take your shoes for example, Rubin. You have to admit those shoes are weird. 658 01:14:47,050 --> 01:14:48,750 I mean you have to admit that! 659 01:14:51,330 --> 01:14:56,030 Are you bald? - Ha ha ha! I'm not completely bald. 660 01:14:56,030 --> 01:14:58,190 This is just a hair substitute. 661 01:14:58,190 --> 01:15:02,350 Many very successful people wear hair substitutes... Robert Redford... 662 01:15:02,350 --> 01:15:06,380 owns several. - Well... he wears platform shoes too. 663 01:15:06,580 --> 01:15:10,600 Now that is ridiculous! I mean you are really something, y'know that? 664 01:15:10,910 --> 01:15:13,540 One rotten apple like that can ruin a whole meeting! 665 01:15:13,540 --> 01:15:16,230 Yes sir. - And that guy with the shoes! What is... 666 01:15:16,950 --> 01:15:19,420 Ahh! Ahh! 667 01:15:19,420 --> 01:15:21,630 He's not gonna get away with this! Where's your car? 668 01:15:21,630 --> 01:15:25,980 Uhh, I don't have a car... where's your car? - This is my car, stub dick! 669 01:15:25,980 --> 01:15:28,040 I thought you had a Lincoln and a Mercedes and a Cadillac... 670 01:15:28,040 --> 01:15:30,280 Shut up and get in! 671 01:15:31,280 --> 01:15:33,930 Ahh! We're gonna find that son of a bitch... 672 01:15:33,930 --> 01:15:40,090 and when we do, he's gonna wish to hell he never heard of the organization! Go! 673 01:15:49,410 --> 01:15:54,560 I feel revitalized! Man I am really hungry! Aren't you hungry? 674 01:16:16,740 --> 01:16:20,260 Whoa. - What the hell was going on there? 675 01:16:22,800 --> 01:16:23,970 Ow! 676 01:16:25,080 --> 01:16:29,410 I am really hungry! - You devil! 677 01:16:29,600 --> 01:16:33,050 We could get a fish burger around the corner here... you're not a vegetarian... 678 01:16:33,050 --> 01:16:35,850 are you? Nevet met a vegetarian I liked. 679 01:16:36,760 --> 01:16:39,680 I hate vegetarians. - Me too. 680 01:16:40,140 --> 01:16:43,450 I... I... I really hate 'em. They're just... they're too damn picky! 681 01:16:43,800 --> 01:16:48,890 I hate New Age music too. - Oh! That stuff could really make a guy sick! 682 01:16:49,090 --> 01:16:52,890 I hate it myself. Yeah, wow! How I hate it! 683 01:16:53,290 --> 01:16:55,880 So uh... what about Republicans? 684 01:17:02,200 --> 01:17:03,810 I am a Republican. 685 01:17:05,260 --> 01:17:06,390 You are kidding. 686 01:17:07,370 --> 01:17:09,060 I'm a Republican too. 687 01:17:09,790 --> 01:17:11,750 Ha ha ha! 688 01:17:14,540 --> 01:17:17,340 Wait, wait! There's the bastard now! 689 01:17:17,340 --> 01:17:19,680 Go around the other side of the block. Hurry up! 690 01:17:25,010 --> 01:17:26,670 He's heading north on Main. 691 01:17:26,850 --> 01:17:29,560 You know, Rubin. Life's a funny thing. 692 01:17:29,560 --> 01:17:33,370 Sometimes I just have to laugh at life. Ya know, really. It gives me a chuckle. 693 01:17:34,030 --> 01:17:38,450 It's not a joke. I mean uh, ya know life is damn serious when you think about it. 694 01:17:38,480 --> 01:17:39,480 Damn serious. 695 01:17:46,170 --> 01:17:47,230 Ahh! 696 01:17:48,660 --> 01:17:50,460 Now what the hell was that? 697 01:17:51,490 --> 01:17:56,110 Wreck. Ya see? That is exactly what I was talking about... 698 01:17:56,110 --> 01:18:00,700 some poor guy is driving along, minding his own business and all of a... 699 01:18:00,700 --> 01:18:05,320 sudden life just leaps up and smacks him right in the face. 700 01:18:06,850 --> 01:18:08,940 Hope that poor bugger was insured. 701 01:18:09,400 --> 01:18:15,480 Look! Damnit! If you bozo's had any brains you'd catch the son of a bitch that... 702 01:18:15,480 --> 01:18:19,060 painted "Andy Warhol sucks a big one" on my car! 703 01:18:27,200 --> 01:18:31,380 Y'know Rubin. If you took a good look at yourself you would have to admit... 704 01:18:31,380 --> 01:18:35,900 you need a lot of help! - You're bald! 705 01:18:36,900 --> 01:18:41,060 At least I'm doing something with my hair. Life! I... I'm not just sitting on... 706 01:18:41,060 --> 01:18:45,510 my duff like some people I know. What you don't seem to realize, Rubin... 707 01:18:45,510 --> 01:18:48,050 is that I am a real go-getter! 708 01:18:48,050 --> 01:18:51,060 Ha ha! There's no stoppin' this train, pal! 709 01:18:51,060 --> 01:18:54,850 No siree Bob. I am on a collision course. A head on collision... 710 01:18:54,850 --> 01:18:58,520 course with the brick wall of success! 711 01:19:03,470 --> 01:19:04,640 Think about it. 712 01:19:04,940 --> 01:19:07,340 Subtitles by Magiin. August 2020. 56965

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