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"No Return" by Fan Shiqi

♫ Memories slowly surround me, are they happy or sad? ♫

♫ The intersection of being clear-headed and blurry, can’t determine if it’s white or black ♫

♫ Going against the wind yet still pursuing, I must retreat if I cannot advance ♫

♫ You needn’t and I am unwilling for tears to fall ♫

♫ For you I won’t regret anything even if I forget who I am ♫

♫ No matter how many years have passed, even when stars are falling ♫

♫ I’ll spend this long journey nestled together with you ♫

♫ Grant me a cup of deep love, a life of being intoxicated ♫

[Qing Qing Zi Jin]

[Episode 1]

This is a story about an ancient academy.

At this time, the country was flourished.

Everyone in the country loved poetry.

From the beautiful verses in the court above to the common folk below,

everyone treated composing poetry as the great hobby of his time.

This year, the new emperor was crowned.

For the purpose of selecting talent,

he issued a decree to hold a nationwide

exam to seek the most talented.

"The person who composes the best poem,

can break the rule of 'must be a noble' that was set up long before, to enter

and study at Zhu Xiu Academy."

"There’s a bird from Donglai.

It encounters fragrant flowers from the mortal world.

The flowers often bloom in the valley.

Very rarely, will it enter into the Hanlin chapter.

The fairy and the mortal world have different paths.

For hundreds of years,

waiting for the wind to rise again.

The unvoiced sound only goes up to pierce the sky."

There are indeed many talents in our country.

There are so many good poems but only one can be chosen.

This is really too difficult.

[Luo Qiuchi]

Mountain Lord, what are we waiting for?

Brothers, there will be extra food for dinner tonight!

Go after them!

There are young ladies.

Let's go! Let's report to Mountain Lord.

What do we do?

What should we do, A'Juan?

What should we do?

Save us!

What do we do?

- Should we jump? - Jump off the carriage?

Let's jump off the carriage. Jump!

Trust me! If we don't jump, we will all die.

A'Juan!

I'm scared.

Don't be scared! We can only jump the carriage.

It will be too late. Older Sister, jump now!

I... I dare not.

Hurry! We are running out of time.

What do we do?

Older Sister!

A'Juan.

- A'Juan. - Older Sister.

Mountain Lord, there isn't anything in the carriage.

- We got a loss on this. - We didn't.

We have these young ladies.

There are no losses at all.

Take all of them back!

Wenren Jing, read the letter!

Your Majesty, "The fifteen female students from the Zhu Xiu Academy

have to be met by fifteen male students of the Zhu Xiu Academy

who will pay 10 guan each in ransom.

One man will only be able to rescue one hostage, no more!

The deadline is in fifteen days. No extensions!

Mountain Lord of Dong Yi."

What is happening?

This is too much!

Your Majesty, these actions of the Dong Yi Mountain bandits

is clearly meant to humiliate our country.

What is your recommendation?

Your Majesty, I think we should attack Dong Yi Mountain

and raise the prestige of our dynasty.

Your Majesty, I think we shouldn't.

The bandits have already written their demands in details.

If we act too rashly, these women will be killed

before we even fight our way up the mountain.

Your Highness, please think carefully.

Your Majesty, you must not.

Your Majesty. Your Majesty!

Your Majesty!

Wenren Jing, I know your daughters have been kidnapped.

What do you think is the best way to deal with this matter?

Your Majesty,

I think we should accept the demands of the bandits.

Your Majesty, our dynasty has national prestige.

How can we allow these bandits to trample on us?

Prince Kang Qin, your words are biased.

If our country can't even protect the lives of these young ladies,

how will the people trust us and the Imperial Court, too?

Your Majesty, the bandits of Dong Yi Mountain have been rebelling for years.

They are famous for their bravery and strength.

If the two sides clash, it will definitely hurt innocent civilians.

Weighing the pros and cons, I ask that Your Majesty consider this carefully.

Then let's do what Wenren Jing suggests.

They just want some money. Let's not overreact on a small matter.

It will end if we don't say anything more about this.

Thank you, Your Majesty!

Stop bothering me! Imperial Court is dismissed.

Imperial Court is dismissed!

Long live the emperor!

[Dongyi Mountain Villa]

Kneel down and be obedient. Okay?

Be good!

Little Sister, will we always be trapped here?

Sister, don't be scared.

When that bandit comes later, just hide behind me.

He won't see you then.

- Aren't you scared? - Of course, I'm scared.

However, being alive is more important. Is it not?

Okay. Then, you should be careful.

Sorry, Older Sister. That bandit was too sinister.

If it's covered like this, it's safer.

Okay.

- Mountain Lord. - Do you know the Mountain Lord of Dongyi Mountain Villa?

Mountain Lord wants to question you.

I... I-I-I... I—

You what?

Boring!

How can just this bit of dirt cover such beauty?

I want you! Come and drink with me.

I won't go. Let go of me!

Let go of her.

I don't know how to drink. I won't go.

I can drink!

- You can drink? - Dong Yi Mountain Lord, I can drink.

I'll accompany you in the place of my sister.

Little eyes, round face, not interesting!

I just want you!

No, no, no!

Mountain Lord, my sister really can't drink.

Once-Once she drinks, she'll-she'll go crazy.

She'll kick, yell, and bite people.

It'll be a pity if she spoils your mood, Mountain Lord.

Really?

Yeah. It's real, I have seen her drink.

Her-Her alcohol tolerance is just great!

Sure! You're the first to volunteer as a drinking companion.

That's fine! I'll just follow your wishes then.

Take her away!

Let's go.

Let's go!

She's got some initiative!

Mo Yan, how could you just push her into the fire like that?

What about it? Should we just let Shu'er go and drink with him?

Wenren Juan is just the daughter of a concubine in the Wenren household.

Can she possibly be as precious as Shu'er, the daughter of the first wife? Am I right?

- That's right! - It's true.

Exactly!

You can't even pour the wine and you claim you can drink?

I know! I really do know.

Then good!

- Drink it! - I...

Drink!

Whatever!

You're wasting my wine. Can you sing?

Can you dance?

Can you do any acrobatic tricks?

Why did you come in if you don't know anything? I might as well find your sister.

At least, she's more pleasing to the eye. Someone!

Don't! Don't! I can recite poems.

Recite poems?

Recite some for me.

I'll recite, "The Difficulty of the Shu Road." (TN: A poem by Li Bai.)

You must know "Gazing at the Mountain." (TN: A poem by Du Fu.)

My goodness!

Du Fu.

I remember! Then I'll recite now.

"How should one describe Mount Tai? From Qi to Lu... from Qi to Lu..." (T/N: Qi and Lu were two states.)

"From Qi to Lu, green stretches without limits.

Only deities can create such elegance.

Dawn and dusk are distinguished like Yin and Yang.

My pounding heart sees layers of clouds.

My eyes see the returning birds.

From the top of the highest peak,

I view the clusters of smaller mountains."

You... Aren't you a bandit? You can actually recite poetry?

What? I can't?

You can! You can! What about "Shu Dao Nan?" Can you recite that one, too?

It is so high and dangerous.

Shu Road is full of hardship. It's as difficult as climbing up to the sky.

Cancong and Fuyu, (TN: These two are the ancient kings of Shu Kingdom)

how did they explore and develop the Kingdom?

Wait!

Am I making you or are you making me recite poems?

Are you playing around with me?

- No, no, no, I wouldn't dare! - Men!

Don't! I... also know.

Whatever!

What can the old fogies of Zhu Xiu Academy do

apart from teaching people to learning by rote?

I still think it's better to just bring your sister over.

Telling stories! I know how to tell stories.

Telling stories?

Okay.

Then let me hear one!

I'll tell a story that's circulating most widely among the people.

- It's the latest story about the Golden Sword Caiya. - Tell me about it!

They say that in the distant Jinan lands,

there's a mysterious tribe.

They are people of the Western Region.

What are you looking at me for? Continue!

There's a good saying in the pugilist world.

That it's better to offend the Imperial Court than to offend the people from the Western Region.

There was a highly skilled pugilist named Lu Xingyun.

His skill with the sword was known throughout the land.

One year, his childhood sweetheart

was abducted by the people of the Western Region!

And then...

Old Mouse!

These daughters of noble families really are different!

They're all so soft and gentle.

I just want to go over and pinch them.

I want to go and give them a kiss.

Damn bandit! If you'd like to kill us, just do it! What's the meaning of locking us up here?

Let me tell you... My father is the Minister of the Army.

The Minister of the Army?

- How scary! - I'm scared.

Who was the guy we caught last year?

I think he was a general... Yes, a great general!

That's right, I remember it now.

Wasn't it that time when the Mountain Lord lost his grip on his axe

and he cleaved him in two?

I remember we even dried him out into jerky!

He was so dry, so it wasn't tasty and got stuck in our teeth.

Hello, Big Brothers, my father is the chief of the city guards,

Zhao Wansan of Huitong Bank. He can give you lots of money.

Please, can you not...

Zhao Qing He, aren't you embarrassing?

You're actually begging these rotten bandits.

You're embarrassing all of us!

The chief guard of the capital?

That's pretty interesting! Do you think the chief of the city guards

will spend money to buy an arm or a head?

Then it wouldn't be good for us to refuse.

And then Lu Xingyun was also poisoned.

He cut off the whole arm.

As for his young sister, her body went missing, too.

I've heard of this Lu Xingyun.

He's a disciple of the Guan Nan Long Sword.

The Long Sword has always had only male disciples.

Where did the junior sister come from?

- You also know the Long Sword Mountain Villa? - Get up!

- I've heard a little about it. - It's like this.

The leader of the Long Sword Villa was often having heartache,

so he removed his female disciple's title.

Lots of people in the outside world have no idea about this.

However, such a thing really happened.

I think you're just making things up.

People really saw Lu Xingyun some years ago.

- Both of his arms were just fine. - How can it be?

Golden Sword Caiya personally autographed it so it can't be fake.

This guy could be a scammer in the martial arts community.

He wasn't!

He-H-He wasn't.

It's getting late. Time to sleep!

Then... have a good dream, Mountain Lord!

I won't disturb your rest. I'm off, then!

Where are you going?

Shameless!

Let me go! Let me go!

I am indeed shameless!

If you go back to your sisters, you'll have to put up with their stares.

Isn't it better to stay here? Isn't it good to have a bed and soft pillows?

Anyway, you're as skinny as a monkey.

I definitely wouldn't like you.

I don't want to stay here, you bloody gangster!

- I say you do! - Let me go! Let me go!

If you keep moving, I'll kill you.

[Dongyi Mountain Villa]

Open up!

A'Juan, you're back!

Are you all right?

I brought some snacks back.

Everyone must be hungry after one night. Let's distribute this!

As someone who has spent the night with a bandit, you aren't too embarrassed to come back?

- I'm sorry. - Shameless!

What is it? Were you really with that bandit?

I didn't!

I really didn't. I just told him stories.

Didn't? If you didn't then why is your face red?

And these things... The bandit gifted them to you, didn't he?

- Right. - Yeah.

You're still not ashamed of coming back?

If it were me, I'd have hit my head and killed myself.

- That's right! - This is too shameful!

Why are you like that?

If it were me, I'd have killed myself.

It's so shameful! I never knew she was such a person!

Shut up!

If I said I didn't, then I didn't.

Anyway, even if it did happen,

it wouldn't have been my fault, so why should I have killed myself?

If my older sister had been the one taken yesterday,

or if it'd been any of you,

would you also want that person to die?

Last night, when the Mountain Lord came to take someone,

all of you were dumb and silent.

Now, you're all looking down on me?

All right. If he comes again today,

I surely won't put myself forward.

Let him take whomever he wants!

But remember this! When you come back,

don't forget to kill yourself.

Is this Wenren Juan?

Why did she change so much?

Why do you have to be so mad?

Does she think she's something special now?

If you didn't, so be it! Why do you have to be so fierce?

Enough now! Everyone, stop disparaging.

We should eat first.

Mengyin, eat this!

- Apologize before eating. - What did you say?

I said, apologize before eating.

- You... - No way!

Eat this if you want; or else, you can just starve to death.

Qing He, this one is for you. Hurry and have it!

If anyone follows Sun Mengyin,

you can just forget about eating this dirty cake!

Everyone should just starve to death then.

- I'm sorry! - What did you say? I can't hear it!

I'm sorry. Good now?

We are already unlucky to be captured and locked up in this shabby place to start with.

We're even being bullied by you.

I want to go home and find my father.

Mengyin, hang in there. Don't be sad!

A'Juan, you were great just now.

- What's wrong? - Qing He.

- Did I just yell at Sun Mengyin? - Yes.

I yelled?

Oh my god!

You were great just now.

A'Juan, it's my fault.

You were captured because of me.

What are you talking about? Since young, you are elegant, beautiful, and distinguished.

How could you go to spend time alone with a bandit?

Besides, aren't I still intact?

- Will we always be trapped here? - We won't.

I believe that Father will find a way to save us.

Ouyang! Ouyang, come!

What's the situation?

Si Cheng, these people are related to those who were captured.

As for the rest, even if you think about it,

the elders in the families won't be free from worries, either.

- Everyone set off now. - Take note of your safety!

- Leave, now. - Okay, let's go.

- Let's be careful. - Everything's ready.

Let's go!

Young Master.

Where are you going?

Mother.

Mother, I want to go with my peers to Dongyi Mountain.

Who allowed you to go?

Do you think I don't know that you want to save that

wild girl without any name or surname from the Wenren family?

She is my peer.

Good for nothing!

Just because of that wild girl, you don't even want your life.

Should you be doing this kind of dirty work?

Do you no longer listen to your mother's words?

If you want to go, it's not that you aren't allowed.

You are the son of the Fu family.

How can you stick to this kind of ordinary love?

You should save the

eldest daughter of the Wenren family, Wenren Shu.

What about A'Juan?

I couldn't care less about what you want to do with the younger daughter.

However, you must bring home the eldest daughter.

Did you hear it?

I got it!

- Mountain Lord! - Mountain Lord!

Brothers!

- Mountain Lord! - Mountain Lord!

Mountain Lord!

Young ladies, did you sleep well?

What is this bandit trying to do?

I don't know.

Look! Why are they here? They are our peers.

This is great! We can go home now.

Why are they here?

They came to save us.

Brother, I'm here!

Don't be scared! I will take you home.

You're the Mountain Lord, aren't you?

I brought the money. Release them!

What's the hurry?

Did I say that I will release them?

Shameless bandit, are you going back on your word?

- Don't you know that my father is the Minister of— - Minister of the Army.

- What's his name? - That... Sun... Sun...

Useless thing!

Young Master Sun...

Do you have a particular specialty at the academy?

Riding, archery, weaponry... I'm the first in everything.

Tell me! What do you have in mind?

Great! Awesome!

What about you guys?

All of you can pick something to have a match with me.

What are they doing?

He even wants to compete with our peers at the academy.

Regardless of whether it's literature or martial arts, our academy is the first in the land.

Especially Young Master Sun, his martial arts are the best!

- That's right! - Exactly!

- Perhaps... - Shut up!

How can brute force compete with righteous martial arts?

- So true! - Indeed!

Older Brother, beat him! Show them how formidable you are.

- Yes, compete with him. - Yes, fight him.

Mountain Lord, compete with them.

- Mountain Lord! - Fine.

Then let me ask! If I win,

I can take them away.

Then let's start.

Let's have a match.

Young Master Xu, the fists.

Young Master Sun, the spear.

Young Master Zhang, painting.

Young Master Zhao, archery.

Young Master Li, Go.

Young Master Wu, Chinese chess.

Young Master Chang, the sword.

Young Master Tai, the qin.

Young Master Wang, zhengkai calligraphy.

Young Master Zong, xingcao calligraphy.

Young Master Guan, the blade.

Young Master Qian, wood carving.

Young Master Ma, acrobatics.

Altogether, 13 categories.

- It'll be fine. - We've got to believe in them.

They'll win for sure.

Speak now! What do you want to compete in first?

Go! Go!

Which first?

Didn't I make myself clear before?

I wanted all of you to pick something you're good at.

And then have just one match with me.

That's right! Didn't we just follow...

You mean to take us all on at once?

You're going too far! What do you take the Zhu Xiu Academy for?

This bandit is too much!

He is asking to die.

- Useless! - You...

Fine!

Then, I'll destroy you. Let's go!

Amazing!

- What are you doing? - What's wrong with you?

No... I'm cheering our peers from the academy on!

Together! Good job! Good job!

Your playing is putting me to sleep.

[An Introduction to...]

- What are you doing? - Playing chess.

- Isn't he playing with me? - Yes, he is!

Hurry up! Stop blabbering.

Pawn on third line, one step forward.

Pawn at the end.

Artillery on eight, cannon on five.

Horse on the second line, three steps forward.

Let's see what you're going to do now...

Still have time for distractions?

- The horse has advanced. - Third pawn advances one.

- It's going to eat your elephant. - Carriage on line one, even on two.

Attack!

Horse on line four, three steps forward.

Carriage line seven, three steps forward.

Mountain Lord, it's a draw.

Carriage on line seven, four steps forward.

I'm going to teach him a lesson!

[An angler I am...]

[Sky]

Whoa!

Mountain God is mighty. He fought well.

- The Mountain Lord is great! - The Mountain Lord is great!

"By the west cliff, an old fisherman anchors for the night.

At dawn, he dips from the clear stream and cooks over a bamboo fire."

He's so amazing...

Applause! Good!

Great! The Mountain Lord is great!

The Mountain Lord is great!

Mountain Lord, while I was carving,

I was keeping an eye on you.

One is truly impressed by Mountain Lord's talent and skill.

However, when one person competes in 13 categories...

it's not surprising if something gets missed out.

From the start till the end,

I haven't seen you carve a single thing.

- That's right! - That's right, he forgot about carving!

He's still the loser!

He lost!

What is there to laugh about?

This-This...

Impossible! How could this be?

Oh my god!

You must have prepared this beforehand.

- You are cheating. - Okay, stop speaking!

It's I who did it.

From the beginning,

he has gotten us to carve this dragon for him.

And what about your painting?

That's right, what about the painting?

Move!

That's right. We didn't see a painting. He's lost!

Open it!

Timing and Subtitles brought to you by Cheerful Scholars @Viki

- This... - Wow! Amazing!

So it turns out that, from the very beginning of the competition,

he had planned out every step.

When to advance, when to retreat,

when to play the qin, when to play chess,

he didn't miss a single step

and even managed to complete this painting.

It looks like Zhu Xiu Academy

has really lost this time.

"Pear Blossoms Bloom" by Su Miaoling

♫ Pear flowers are blossoming, pear flowers are blossoming ♫

♫ Fluttering in the wind ♫

♫ Waving to and fro on the mountain ♫

♫ Thousands of miles away ♫

♫ Thousands of miles away ♫

♫ Is she still waiting there ♫

♫ Dear wind, please blow gently ♫

♫ Slowly blowing the ends of her hair ♫

♫ Rain, please drizzle slowly ♫

♫ Don’t dampen her face ♫