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Subtitles by explosiveskull
www.OpenSubtitles.org
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00:00:17,400 --> 00:00:21,036
1994.
Welcome to Staten Island,
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00:00:21,103 --> 00:00:23,972
a great year
and a great place to grow up.
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00:00:31,012 --> 00:00:33,915
That's Stacey, my hula girl.
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00:00:33,982 --> 00:00:36,017
Oh, oh,
that's me in high school.
6
00:00:36,084 --> 00:00:37,553
Man, look at that hair.
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00:00:37,620 --> 00:00:39,756
I look just like
Chandler Bing, right?
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00:00:39,822 --> 00:00:41,457
Just go with it.
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00:00:41,524 --> 00:00:45,026
♪ You're always asking
what it's all about ♪
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00:00:45,093 --> 00:00:46,763
Rooty-toot-toot!
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00:00:46,829 --> 00:00:50,332
- Hey, Q.
- Hey!
12
00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:51,868
Hey, how's your sister doing?
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00:00:51,933 --> 00:00:55,571
Wouldn't you like to know?
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00:00:55,638 --> 00:00:57,707
I would. I really would.
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00:00:57,774 --> 00:01:00,743
♪ Your purple prose
just gives you away ♪
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00:01:00,810 --> 00:01:03,145
♪ The things you say ♪
17
00:01:03,211 --> 00:01:04,881
♪ You're unbelievable ♪
18
00:01:04,946 --> 00:01:06,047
Dad.
19
00:01:06,114 --> 00:01:07,349
Can I have permission to go
20
00:01:07,417 --> 00:01:08,885
to the Paula Abdul concert,
please?
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00:01:08,950 --> 00:01:10,318
- Go, Sal, go.
- I know the rules, Dad.
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00:01:10,386 --> 00:01:12,320
I will check in,
I will beep you, I'll call.
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00:01:12,388 --> 00:01:14,089
Okay, rule number one,
we love each other.
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00:01:14,156 --> 00:01:15,458
Rule number two,
see rule number one.
25
00:01:15,525 --> 00:01:16,859
Please get out of the house
and go.
26
00:01:16,925 --> 00:01:18,994
Okay. People smoke marijuana.
27
00:01:19,060 --> 00:01:20,328
Do the weed. Take a shot.
28
00:01:20,396 --> 00:01:22,230
Just get out of the house.
Please, go.
29
00:01:22,297 --> 00:01:22,998
Just go!
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00:01:24,434 --> 00:01:27,335
Oh, hey, Q!
I'll be right there.
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♪ The things you say ♪
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00:01:34,377 --> 00:01:35,343
♪ Your purple prose
just gives you away ♪
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00:01:35,411 --> 00:01:37,413
♪ The things you say ♪
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00:01:37,480 --> 00:01:40,048
♪ You're unbelievable ♪
35
00:01:40,115 --> 00:01:41,651
♪ Oh! ♪
36
00:01:42,718 --> 00:01:44,720
Hey, fellas.
37
00:01:47,155 --> 00:01:49,157
'Sup?
My best friend, Sal.
38
00:01:49,224 --> 00:01:52,294
And there's Q too.
Hey, guys.
39
00:01:55,330 --> 00:01:57,132
♪ Whoa, man! ♪
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00:01:58,935 --> 00:02:00,670
♪ Seemingly lastless,
don't mean you can ask us ♪
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00:02:00,736 --> 00:02:02,939
Oh-ho-ho!
42
00:02:03,004 --> 00:02:04,474
♪ Think of the fine times ♪
43
00:02:04,540 --> 00:02:05,441
Boys!
44
00:02:05,508 --> 00:02:06,909
- I have a question.
- Yeah?
45
00:02:06,975 --> 00:02:07,944
Are you forever my girl?
46
00:02:08,009 --> 00:02:08,878
Straight up. Now, tell me.
47
00:02:08,945 --> 00:02:10,212
- Whoo!
- Yeah!
48
00:02:10,278 --> 00:02:11,279
- That's right, watch it.
- Oh, come on, Joe.
49
00:02:11,346 --> 00:02:12,915
- Come on.
- Comin' in hot.
50
00:02:12,981 --> 00:02:14,951
All right, watch that...
watch that leather back there.
51
00:02:15,016 --> 00:02:16,686
You're the worst.
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00:02:16,752 --> 00:02:19,287
♪ The things you say ♪
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00:02:19,355 --> 00:02:21,891
♪ You're unbelievable ♪
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00:02:21,958 --> 00:02:23,526
Hey, Abdul.
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00:02:23,593 --> 00:02:25,060
Too bad
we don't have tickets.
56
00:02:25,126 --> 00:02:27,028
Tickets?
Tickets are for losers, dude.
57
00:02:27,095 --> 00:02:28,196
I got a plan.
58
00:02:34,169 --> 00:02:36,137
- Who gets the small?
- Hey!
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00:02:36,204 --> 00:02:38,073
- Really?
- Yeah, why not?
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00:02:38,139 --> 00:02:40,643
Hmm. Well, who's ready
to party tonight?
61
00:02:40,710 --> 00:02:42,110
What are you doing?
62
00:02:42,177 --> 00:02:43,546
- I'm being hype man.
- He hyped you right there.
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00:02:43,613 --> 00:02:45,448
Joey's a great hype man,
and I know hype men.
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00:02:45,515 --> 00:02:47,416
Yeah, throughout history,
there's been many a hype man.
65
00:02:47,483 --> 00:02:50,085
- Who?
- Thomas Edison had one.
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00:02:50,151 --> 00:02:51,387
- Gandhi.
- Caesar.
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00:02:51,454 --> 00:02:53,255
Okay, all right,
Caesar had a hype man.
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00:02:53,321 --> 00:02:54,490
You guys should look it up.
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00:02:54,557 --> 00:02:56,659
Who was Caesar's
hype man, then?
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00:02:56,726 --> 00:02:57,660
Jeff.
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00:02:57,727 --> 00:02:58,928
I'm done.
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00:02:58,995 --> 00:02:59,962
I'm done with this.
I'm done...
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00:03:00,028 --> 00:03:01,129
- Can we go?
- Yeah.
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00:03:11,541 --> 00:03:13,009
- 'Scuse!
- On the left.
75
00:03:13,074 --> 00:03:14,677
- Excuse you. Excuse me.
- Up on the right.
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00:03:14,744 --> 00:03:17,279
- You. Excuse you. Security.
- On the left.
77
00:03:17,345 --> 00:03:19,180
- Move.
- Move.
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00:03:19,247 --> 00:03:21,116
- Security.
- Just watch it.
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00:03:21,182 --> 00:03:22,351
Idiot.
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00:03:22,418 --> 00:03:24,119
Hey, uh, who are you guys?
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00:03:24,185 --> 00:03:26,789
Uh, high-level security.
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00:03:51,013 --> 00:03:52,815
I'll allow it.
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00:03:59,321 --> 00:04:01,023
What do we do now?
What do we do now?
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00:04:01,089 --> 00:04:02,558
Whatever the hell we want.
85
00:04:04,125 --> 00:04:06,395
Move! Watch it.
Coming through.
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00:04:07,697 --> 00:04:09,465
The arena is ours.
87
00:04:09,532 --> 00:04:11,434
Wait, who is this?
Where's Larry?
88
00:04:14,804 --> 00:04:17,138
- Hit it!
- ♪ Nah, nah-nah-nah-nah ♪
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00:04:17,205 --> 00:04:20,141
♪ Nah-nah-nah-nah,
nah-nah-nah, nah-nah-nah ♪
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00:04:20,208 --> 00:04:22,044
Green room, fellas.
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00:04:22,110 --> 00:04:24,480
Everything is free.
92
00:04:28,183 --> 00:04:29,585
How great is this?
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00:04:29,652 --> 00:04:32,320
Oh.
94
00:04:32,388 --> 00:04:33,623
Hey, say hello to my dad.
95
00:04:33,689 --> 00:04:35,391
Hey, Daddy.
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00:04:35,458 --> 00:04:37,292
No, it's my dad.
I don't call him Daddy.
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00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:39,227
Oh.
I'm sorry.
98
00:04:39,294 --> 00:04:40,796
You're security?
99
00:04:40,863 --> 00:04:42,197
Yeah, just... Please.
100
00:04:42,263 --> 00:04:44,533
Look at that zoom.
I can see your pores.
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00:04:46,702 --> 00:04:48,437
Yuck.
102
00:04:50,773 --> 00:04:52,675
- What are you doing?
- Oh, me? Hypin'.
103
00:04:52,742 --> 00:04:54,342
- Hypin' what?
- Eh, you know, the crudités.
104
00:04:54,410 --> 00:04:55,745
You're over here by yourself
shaking your head.
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00:04:55,811 --> 00:04:58,114
I know, I'm just excited
for crudités, what?
106
00:04:58,179 --> 00:04:59,548
I was taping you
from across the room.
107
00:04:59,615 --> 00:05:00,950
You look like a doo-wop dad.
108
00:05:01,017 --> 00:05:02,183
Hold on one second.
109
00:05:02,250 --> 00:05:03,653
Yo, Bubba Gump,
110
00:05:03,719 --> 00:05:05,755
Want to leave some shrimp
for the rest of us?
111
00:05:05,821 --> 00:05:06,822
Oh, my...
112
00:05:06,889 --> 00:05:08,256
- Oh, my God, sick reference!
- Classic.
113
00:05:08,323 --> 00:05:09,592
I just saw Forrest Gump
this week.
114
00:05:09,659 --> 00:05:11,259
Guys, Paula Abdul, 12:00.
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00:05:14,030 --> 00:05:15,698
Check out the banana patrol.
116
00:05:18,634 --> 00:05:19,969
Was she just checking me out?
117
00:05:20,036 --> 00:05:21,202
- Yeah.
- Oh, yeah. Right at you.
118
00:05:21,269 --> 00:05:22,838
- She was.
- Oh, you see that, right?
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00:05:22,905 --> 00:05:24,507
You should probably
get her number.
120
00:05:24,573 --> 00:05:25,608
No.
121
00:05:25,675 --> 00:05:27,009
Yeah, it'd be a shame
if you didn't.
122
00:05:27,076 --> 00:05:28,044
You think she's into me
like that?
123
00:05:28,110 --> 00:05:29,277
- Yeah.
- You're right.
124
00:05:29,344 --> 00:05:30,813
I'm doin' it.
125
00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:32,213
I'm doin' it.
126
00:05:33,549 --> 00:05:36,452
- Down in flames.
- Roll tape.
127
00:05:36,519 --> 00:05:39,121
Such a doofus.
Look at him.
128
00:05:39,187 --> 00:05:40,456
You want my number?
129
00:05:40,523 --> 00:05:42,558
- No.
- Guys, guys.
130
00:05:42,625 --> 00:05:44,927
No, guys, it looks like he's
getting her number, I swear.
131
00:05:44,994 --> 00:05:48,798
I think he...
I think he got her number.
132
00:05:48,864 --> 00:05:50,633
Good call, fellas.
She was into me.
133
00:05:50,700 --> 00:05:52,233
But she didn't finish
the phone number in time.
134
00:05:52,300 --> 00:05:54,503
She started to give you
her real number?
135
00:05:54,570 --> 00:05:55,771
This is a victory for us.
136
00:05:55,838 --> 00:05:57,873
- Great shit.
- I gotta be honest.
137
00:05:57,940 --> 00:05:59,175
I was breaking your shoes.
138
00:05:59,240 --> 00:06:00,443
I didn't think
you'd get her number.
139
00:06:00,509 --> 00:06:02,210
You just rose
to that challenge, okay?
140
00:06:02,277 --> 00:06:03,446
We told you to do something,
you did it.
141
00:06:03,512 --> 00:06:05,114
Okay, you didn't refuse.
You didn't lose.
142
00:06:05,181 --> 00:06:07,516
The ball bag on this guy.
143
00:06:07,583 --> 00:06:08,884
You ever seen a ball bag
like this?
144
00:06:08,951 --> 00:06:10,419
I've never seen a ball bag
like that, no.
145
00:06:10,486 --> 00:06:11,854
I've seen his ball bag.
146
00:06:11,921 --> 00:06:14,289
It's 10 pounds of ball bag
in a 5-pound sack.
147
00:06:14,356 --> 00:06:17,292
This whole time, there's been
two footprints in the sand.
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00:06:17,359 --> 00:06:19,462
It's when your ball bag's
been carrying us.
149
00:06:19,528 --> 00:06:22,898
You don't just talk the talk,
you walk the walk. Okay?
150
00:06:22,965 --> 00:06:24,934
Who knows
where great ideas come from?
151
00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:27,235
A mixture of genius
and stupidity?
152
00:06:27,302 --> 00:06:29,538
A ball bag speech from Sal?
153
00:06:29,605 --> 00:06:31,173
I know it rarely happens,
154
00:06:31,239 --> 00:06:34,410
but that night,
scholars and historians agree
155
00:06:34,477 --> 00:06:36,645
the Impractical Jokers
were born.
156
00:06:36,712 --> 00:06:38,681
This is unbelievable, guys.
157
00:06:38,748 --> 00:06:40,750
Holy sh...
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00:06:40,816 --> 00:06:42,250
The crowd.
159
00:06:45,454 --> 00:06:46,388
♪ Hey, baby ♪
160
00:06:46,455 --> 00:06:48,023
Oh, my God!
161
00:06:48,090 --> 00:06:50,291
♪ Gotta remember ♪
162
00:06:50,359 --> 00:06:53,261
♪ I'm forever your girl ♪
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00:06:53,328 --> 00:06:55,431
♪ And baby, forever ♪
164
00:06:55,498 --> 00:06:57,265
♪ And ever and ever ♪
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00:06:57,332 --> 00:06:58,567
You know I am.
166
00:07:02,505 --> 00:07:05,007
Backstage, baby!
167
00:07:15,818 --> 00:07:17,386
♪ Baby, pick your head up ♪
168
00:07:17,453 --> 00:07:19,488
That was the hottest thing
I've ever seen!
169
00:07:19,555 --> 00:07:22,825
♪ Come on and look me
in the face ♪
170
00:07:25,795 --> 00:07:27,062
Where's Joe?
171
00:07:27,129 --> 00:07:28,531
♪ Is bringin' you down ♪
172
00:07:28,597 --> 00:07:30,699
♪ Why you down? ♪
173
00:07:30,766 --> 00:07:33,102
- Oh, my God!
- Yeah! Yeah!
174
00:07:33,169 --> 00:07:35,437
♪ That another boy ♪
175
00:07:35,504 --> 00:07:37,139
Get off my stage.
176
00:07:37,206 --> 00:07:38,607
- Hey, hey, hey!
- Go, Joey, go!
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00:07:38,674 --> 00:07:40,176
Yeah! We're gonna live forever!
178
00:07:40,242 --> 00:07:41,477
I know!
179
00:07:41,544 --> 00:07:43,612
Pregnant ladies,
I can't hear y'all.
180
00:07:43,679 --> 00:07:45,848
Pregnant ladies, make noise.
181
00:07:48,417 --> 00:07:51,086
Helicopter.
182
00:07:51,153 --> 00:07:53,055
When I say ball, you say bag.
183
00:07:53,122 --> 00:07:54,490
Ball!
184
00:07:54,557 --> 00:07:55,958
He's hyped up
on the ball bag.
185
00:07:57,626 --> 00:07:59,361
Get him off the stage.
186
00:07:59,428 --> 00:08:00,496
Hype it up.
187
00:08:00,563 --> 00:08:02,898
We judged too soon.
He sucks.
188
00:08:05,534 --> 00:08:07,770
White people!
189
00:08:07,837 --> 00:08:08,971
Blacks!
190
00:08:10,539 --> 00:08:12,942
Where the Vietnamese at?
191
00:08:13,008 --> 00:08:15,244
- Yeah, there's one!
- Where's my security?
192
00:08:17,646 --> 00:08:19,682
This is mayhem.
193
00:08:19,748 --> 00:08:21,050
Ah! Son of a...
194
00:08:21,116 --> 00:08:22,952
- All right!
- They throwin' garbage?
195
00:08:23,018 --> 00:08:24,753
Staten Island garbage.
196
00:08:24,820 --> 00:08:26,789
- Guys! Guys!
- Look out, Joe!
197
00:08:26,856 --> 00:08:28,357
Breach! Breach!
Breach!
198
00:08:28,424 --> 00:08:29,859
Ah, these punks
are storming the stage.
199
00:08:29,925 --> 00:08:31,093
I'm getting the hell
out of here.
200
00:08:31,160 --> 00:08:32,361
No, no, no, no!
201
00:08:36,098 --> 00:08:37,800
Oh!
202
00:08:39,702 --> 00:08:41,237
I got clotheslined by Abdul.
203
00:08:41,303 --> 00:08:42,771
Oh, Sal!
204
00:08:44,540 --> 00:08:46,108
My beautiful boy.
205
00:08:46,175 --> 00:08:48,143
She crushed my windpipe!
206
00:08:48,210 --> 00:08:49,378
You're okay.
Go, go!
207
00:08:49,445 --> 00:08:51,146
- Joey!
- Go.
208
00:08:51,213 --> 00:08:52,681
You guys are dead.
209
00:08:52,748 --> 00:08:54,049
Dead.
210
00:08:54,116 --> 00:08:57,419
One day, I'm gonna find you,
and I will destroy you!
211
00:09:02,091 --> 00:09:04,093
Can't believe we ruined
the Abdul concert.
212
00:09:05,594 --> 00:09:08,163
- Hi, Gina.
- Go, go, go.
213
00:09:08,230 --> 00:09:11,901
We've lost the arena!
We've lost the arena!
214
00:09:11,967 --> 00:09:15,337
Everything's fine.
Everything's fine.
215
00:09:20,042 --> 00:09:24,280
Abdul assaulted me!
She's about 4'4", 40 pounds.
216
00:09:26,548 --> 00:09:29,018
Ah! Why are you doing
this to me?
217
00:09:29,084 --> 00:09:31,754
Come on!
Abdul's got some mouth on her.
218
00:09:40,229 --> 00:09:42,064
♪ So I'll tell you all
the story ♪
219
00:09:42,131 --> 00:09:44,500
♪ About the joker
and the thief in the night ♪
220
00:09:52,975 --> 00:09:55,077
- Are we rolling?
- Okay, here we go.
221
00:09:55,144 --> 00:09:56,912
Once we clear this
camera, Sal, we're ready to go.
222
00:09:56,979 --> 00:09:58,314
It's only... Our close-up
keeps getting blocked.
223
00:09:58,381 --> 00:10:00,916
Cameras. Cameras.
224
00:10:00,983 --> 00:10:02,618
We have to make sure
camera D stays that way.
225
00:10:02,685 --> 00:10:04,053
Hold on, I got two...
I got three... In the ear,
226
00:10:04,119 --> 00:10:05,621
I had multiple people
at one time.
227
00:10:05,688 --> 00:10:07,723
Now he's clear.
228
00:10:07,790 --> 00:10:09,892
- So, Sal's just gonna be a horrible mall Santa.
- That's right.
229
00:10:09,959 --> 00:10:12,895
There's nothing more American
than a mall Santa.
230
00:10:12,962 --> 00:10:14,530
- That's right.
- Right? It's just classic.
231
00:10:14,596 --> 00:10:16,165
- Yeah.
- Well, in the winter.
232
00:10:16,231 --> 00:10:18,734
I will say this, Sal,
you have accepted the fact
233
00:10:18,801 --> 00:10:20,502
that we dressed you
as a mall Santa
234
00:10:20,569 --> 00:10:22,372
in the middle of summer
without complaint.
235
00:10:22,439 --> 00:10:24,740
It's about 100 degrees out.
236
00:10:24,807 --> 00:10:26,508
Oh, I'm gonna...
I'm gonna pass out.
237
00:10:26,575 --> 00:10:28,243
Well, you're about to
ruin Christmas
238
00:10:28,310 --> 00:10:30,012
for a bunch of kids, Sal.
239
00:10:30,079 --> 00:10:31,847
Okay, Sal, when this kid
approaches, this is easy,
240
00:10:31,914 --> 00:10:34,183
just yell, "No! No!"
241
00:10:34,249 --> 00:10:35,684
No! No!
242
00:10:35,751 --> 00:10:38,355
No.
243
00:10:38,421 --> 00:10:39,688
So what do you want, Aiden?
244
00:10:39,755 --> 00:10:41,223
Do you want a big toy
or a little toy?
245
00:10:41,290 --> 00:10:43,492
What would you like?
I'll get it for you right now.
246
00:10:43,559 --> 00:10:46,495
Lightning McQueen.
247
00:10:46,562 --> 00:10:47,663
- Sal, fall asleep.
- Fall asleep, Sal.
248
00:10:47,730 --> 00:10:49,098
Fall asleep, fall asleep.
249
00:10:52,634 --> 00:10:54,169
Santa?
250
00:10:54,236 --> 00:10:56,338
Sal's sleeping. Look at him.
251
00:10:56,406 --> 00:10:57,740
Look at the kid.
252
00:10:57,806 --> 00:11:00,242
- Sal fell asleep.
- The shot's insane, Sal.
253
00:11:01,577 --> 00:11:05,848
Sal, stay there.
254
00:11:05,914 --> 00:11:07,716
Head's... Head nod down
there more.
255
00:11:07,783 --> 00:11:08,951
There you go.
256
00:11:09,018 --> 00:11:11,787
Big snores. Big...
257
00:11:11,854 --> 00:11:13,822
Ooh!
258
00:11:13,889 --> 00:11:15,891
- Start bouncing him.
- Oh.
259
00:11:15,958 --> 00:11:17,726
- "When'd you get here?"
- Higher, buddy, higher.
260
00:11:17,793 --> 00:11:19,396
Yeah!
261
00:11:22,064 --> 00:11:24,533
Oh, taking his leg off!
He's taking his leg off!
262
00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:26,301
He's so happy.
263
00:11:33,909 --> 00:11:35,911
Look at the...
264
00:11:36,979 --> 00:11:38,213
High five!
265
00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:39,681
Aww.
266
00:11:40,783 --> 00:11:43,118
This fake snow
can't be helping.
267
00:11:44,454 --> 00:11:46,655
Hello, darling. How are you?
268
00:11:46,722 --> 00:11:49,792
Come sit on Santa's lap.
269
00:11:49,858 --> 00:11:51,894
- And what is your name?
- Casey.
270
00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:54,263
Casey, I want you
to take a minute
271
00:11:54,329 --> 00:11:57,467
and think about what you might
want for Christmas this year.
272
00:11:57,534 --> 00:11:58,834
Just think about it
in your head.
273
00:11:58,901 --> 00:12:00,669
- Okay?
- Uh...
274
00:12:01,870 --> 00:12:03,172
"Don't talk to me
till I tell you."
275
00:12:03,238 --> 00:12:05,641
Now, don't talk
until I tell you, Casey.
276
00:12:05,707 --> 00:12:07,142
- Mmm-hmm.
- Okay.
277
00:12:09,178 --> 00:12:14,216
"Now, why aren't you saying anything to Santa?"
278
00:12:14,283 --> 00:12:16,352
I don't have all day, Casey.
Do you know what you want?
279
00:12:16,419 --> 00:12:17,619
- Yes.
- Okay.
280
00:12:17,686 --> 00:12:19,389
Don't speak
until I tell you, now.
281
00:12:19,456 --> 00:12:20,923
She's so cute.
282
00:12:20,989 --> 00:12:22,257
Whenever you're ready,
just tell me what you want.
283
00:12:22,324 --> 00:12:23,426
Keep flip-flopping.
284
00:12:23,493 --> 00:12:24,326
But don't talk
until I tell you.
285
00:12:25,994 --> 00:12:27,629
Okay? So whenever you're ready,
you tell me what you want.
286
00:12:27,696 --> 00:12:30,632
But please don't speak
until I tell you.
287
00:12:30,699 --> 00:12:31,934
- Whenever you're ready.
- Okay.
288
00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:33,802
Just don't speak until I say.
289
00:12:36,439 --> 00:12:37,706
Nice to meet you...
290
00:12:37,773 --> 00:12:39,007
So, Sal, how was that?
You're doing...
291
00:12:39,074 --> 00:12:40,410
You're being a very good
horrible Santa.
292
00:12:40,477 --> 00:12:43,045
Guys, this...
It's torture for us all.
293
00:12:43,112 --> 00:12:44,947
It's a torture for me,
it's a torture for you,
294
00:12:45,013 --> 00:12:46,615
it's a torture
for the children.
295
00:12:46,682 --> 00:12:48,351
- I'm having a blast back here.
- Yeah.
296
00:12:48,418 --> 00:12:50,252
I'm giggling with my friends.
It feels pretty good back here.
297
00:12:50,319 --> 00:12:52,754
There's no less than 40
strands of hair in my mouth.
298
00:12:52,821 --> 00:12:54,289
Oh, it's getting
worse, Sal.
299
00:12:54,357 --> 00:12:58,227
Oh!
300
00:13:06,503 --> 00:13:09,805
Jingle, jingle.
301
00:13:11,441 --> 00:13:12,741
- Oh.
- I've had enough.
302
00:13:12,808 --> 00:13:13,675
I'm pulling the plug
on this whole thing.
303
00:13:13,742 --> 00:13:14,943
Let's get out of here.
304
00:13:15,010 --> 00:13:17,380
- That's a cut.
- Nice work.
305
00:13:35,964 --> 00:13:37,467
Where's the
Cheddar Bay Biscuits?
306
00:13:37,534 --> 00:13:39,001
I ordered a whole another
basket, like, ten minutes ago.
307
00:13:39,067 --> 00:13:40,570
- You already had six.
- So what?
308
00:13:40,637 --> 00:13:42,337
- You're cut off.
- You can't be cut off.
309
00:13:42,405 --> 00:13:44,206
It's unlimited, it's the
whole point of Red Lobster.
310
00:13:44,273 --> 00:13:45,674
Guys. Guys.
311
00:13:46,808 --> 00:13:49,479
- Is that Abdul?
- Kareem?
312
00:13:49,546 --> 00:13:51,146
No. Can't be.
313
00:13:51,213 --> 00:13:53,282
- That's Abdul. That's her.
- That's her.
314
00:13:53,348 --> 00:13:55,184
- Oh, my God.
- It is Abdul.
315
00:13:55,250 --> 00:13:57,520
I know Abdul when I see it.
It's her! I'm scared right now.
316
00:13:57,587 --> 00:13:59,855
My windpipe is still sore
from when she hit me.
317
00:13:59,922 --> 00:14:01,089
Yeah, she straight jacked you.
318
00:14:01,156 --> 00:14:02,659
She's gonna remember
that night.
319
00:14:02,724 --> 00:14:03,926
Oh, she's coming over here,
so it's curtains for us,
320
00:14:03,992 --> 00:14:05,227
essentially, it's what it is.
321
00:14:05,294 --> 00:14:07,095
- I gotta get out of here.
- No, no! Sit...
322
00:14:07,162 --> 00:14:07,896
Sit down.
323
00:14:07,963 --> 00:14:09,298
This is our Red Lobster.
324
00:14:09,365 --> 00:14:10,832
I've been training for this
for 20 years.
325
00:14:10,899 --> 00:14:13,101
Nobody touches you again.
Not on my watch.
326
00:14:13,168 --> 00:14:14,604
- Okay, thank you.
- No, yeah.
327
00:14:14,671 --> 00:14:16,138
- Just sit down.
- She's coming right over here.
328
00:14:16,205 --> 00:14:17,739
- Act casual.
- She's looking right at us.
329
00:14:17,806 --> 00:14:18,840
- Act casual.
- She's looking...
330
00:14:18,907 --> 00:14:20,709
Smile. Act natural.
331
00:14:20,776 --> 00:14:22,177
Smile. Smile.
332
00:14:23,779 --> 00:14:25,047
All right.
333
00:14:28,351 --> 00:14:29,751
Fifteen feet.
334
00:14:29,818 --> 00:14:31,320
Ten feet.
335
00:14:31,387 --> 00:14:32,488
Five feet.
336
00:14:32,555 --> 00:14:33,556
Abdul.
337
00:14:33,623 --> 00:14:34,923
You're the Impractical Jokers.
338
00:14:34,990 --> 00:14:36,892
- Yeah.
- For real?
339
00:14:36,959 --> 00:14:38,927
- Yeah.
- Holy shit.
340
00:14:38,994 --> 00:14:41,863
- Okay.
- I love you guys.
341
00:14:41,930 --> 00:14:44,733
Oh, no joke, man.
I've watched every season.
342
00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:46,935
Well, except for season five.
343
00:14:47,002 --> 00:14:48,036
Yeah, I don't want
to get into it.
344
00:14:48,103 --> 00:14:49,572
All right, well, thank you.
345
00:14:49,639 --> 00:14:51,907
By any chance, you guys
gonna be in Miami next week?
346
00:14:51,974 --> 00:14:53,875
- Yeah.
- I'm having this huge party.
347
00:14:53,942 --> 00:14:55,811
You guys can come.
You can hang one night.
348
00:14:55,877 --> 00:14:57,547
You can hang the weekend.
Go hang out.
349
00:14:57,614 --> 00:14:58,847
- Oh, my God.
- What?
350
00:14:58,914 --> 00:15:00,215
You kidding me?
351
00:15:00,282 --> 00:15:01,684
Yeah, we'll be there.
We were gonna go...
352
00:15:01,750 --> 00:15:03,118
- We were going anyway.
- Yeah! Yeah!
353
00:15:03,185 --> 00:15:04,820
Yes!
354
00:15:04,886 --> 00:15:07,256
Sam? Hook 'em up.
355
00:15:10,959 --> 00:15:13,996
- Season five was atrocious.
- Mmm.
356
00:15:14,062 --> 00:15:15,831
So I'll see you in Miami?
357
00:15:15,897 --> 00:15:16,832
Yes!
Yeah, I'll see you there.
358
00:15:16,898 --> 00:15:18,434
This is crazy.
359
00:15:18,501 --> 00:15:20,035
Yeah, that's right.
We are so in Miami.
360
00:15:20,102 --> 00:15:21,471
- We'll see you there.
- All right.
361
00:15:21,537 --> 00:15:23,805
- Miami, here we come.
- All right.
362
00:15:23,872 --> 00:15:25,173
We're not really going
to Miami, are we?
363
00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:26,341
- Of course we're going to Miami.
- No.
364
00:15:26,409 --> 00:15:27,976
That night
was a disaster. Okay?
365
00:15:28,043 --> 00:15:30,112
We have a chance here
for a do-over.
366
00:15:30,178 --> 00:15:33,015
I don't need a do-over.
I'm the victim, okay?
367
00:15:33,081 --> 00:15:34,450
She punched me in the throat.
368
00:15:34,517 --> 00:15:36,318
Guys, this isn't even
a discussion, okay?
369
00:15:36,386 --> 00:15:38,987
Abdul is here in the Lobster,
she invites us to the party,
370
00:15:39,054 --> 00:15:40,556
we go to the party.
371
00:15:40,623 --> 00:15:42,824
We turn back the clock.
We put that disaster to bed.
372
00:15:42,891 --> 00:15:44,360
Oh, yeah.
We're going, and this time,
373
00:15:44,427 --> 00:15:46,462
we're gonna prove that
we're not gonna screw it up.
374
00:15:46,529 --> 00:15:48,464
That's right.
With a little bit of hype.
375
00:15:48,531 --> 00:15:50,032
- Mmm.
- No hype.
376
00:15:50,098 --> 00:15:51,701
- A little bit.
- Mmm. No.
377
00:15:51,768 --> 00:15:52,968
All right,
the appropriate amount.
378
00:15:53,035 --> 00:15:54,437
Hmm, no. Less.
379
00:15:54,504 --> 00:15:56,539
Do this. That.
380
00:15:56,606 --> 00:15:58,807
Oh, I'm bringing this much,
and if we use it, we use it.
381
00:15:58,874 --> 00:16:00,909
Oh, my God, there's only three.
382
00:16:00,976 --> 00:16:02,177
There's only three laminates.
383
00:16:02,244 --> 00:16:03,945
Perfect. I'm out. God's plan.
384
00:16:04,012 --> 00:16:05,415
No, no, no.
What are you talking about?
385
00:16:05,481 --> 00:16:07,849
We'll settle this the way
we do every big decision
386
00:16:07,916 --> 00:16:09,485
in our life, okay?
387
00:16:09,552 --> 00:16:11,119
The four of us will compete
in hidden camera challenges
388
00:16:11,186 --> 00:16:12,522
on the way down to Miami,
389
00:16:12,588 --> 00:16:14,990
and the loser does not
go to that party.
390
00:16:18,093 --> 00:16:19,629
- Road trip, guys!
- Let's do it.
391
00:16:19,696 --> 00:16:20,829
Let's just get in the car
and do it.
392
00:16:20,896 --> 00:16:22,064
- Road trip, baby.
- Yeah!
393
00:16:22,130 --> 00:16:23,733
Guys, I have the perfect car.
394
00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:25,535
- You guys are gonna love this.
- Oh, thank God, yes.
395
00:16:25,601 --> 00:16:28,203
Every part of my body
is rejecting this plan.
396
00:16:28,270 --> 00:16:29,338
Who pays the bill, by the way?
397
00:16:29,405 --> 00:16:31,708
I pay the bill? I pay the bill?
398
00:16:43,251 --> 00:16:44,119
Huh?
399
00:16:45,087 --> 00:16:46,589
- Shotgun.
- What? No!
400
00:16:46,656 --> 00:16:48,190
Yeah, I saw it, and I said it.
401
00:16:48,256 --> 00:16:49,525
- That's not even right.
- Yeah, that's the rule.
402
00:16:49,592 --> 00:16:50,926
I get carsick.
I can't sit back there.
403
00:16:50,992 --> 00:16:52,194
Your carsick is not my problem.
404
00:16:52,260 --> 00:16:53,463
- No.
- Will you guys...
405
00:16:53,529 --> 00:16:54,564
Please, please,
can you veto this?
406
00:16:54,630 --> 00:16:55,665
I will vomit everywhere.
407
00:16:55,732 --> 00:16:56,898
Veto it? Why would I veto that?
408
00:16:56,965 --> 00:16:58,333
It's the rules of shotgun.
409
00:16:58,401 --> 00:17:00,035
You see the car, you say,
"Shotgun," you sit there.
410
00:17:00,102 --> 00:17:01,870
Joe gets shotgun
'cause he respects the leather.
411
00:17:01,937 --> 00:17:03,038
- Thank you, sir.
- Hey, what...
412
00:17:03,105 --> 00:17:04,607
Whatever gave you
the impression
413
00:17:04,674 --> 00:17:06,308
- I didn't respect it?
- You scuffed the leather, man.
414
00:17:06,376 --> 00:17:09,144
That's like punching
Grandma Lucia in her face.
415
00:17:09,211 --> 00:17:10,613
She killed herself
in the back left seat, right?
416
00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:13,014
Why don't we all get off
our high horses here?
417
00:17:13,081 --> 00:17:14,282
All right, it's not
that great of a car.
418
00:17:14,349 --> 00:17:16,017
- It's not a Corvette.
- No, I know.
419
00:17:16,084 --> 00:17:17,620
It's a Crown Vic.
I know what this car is.
420
00:17:17,687 --> 00:17:19,455
I mean, it's the vehicular
equivalent of Baltic Avenue.
421
00:17:19,522 --> 00:17:20,556
Baltic Avenue?
422
00:17:20,623 --> 00:17:22,157
What are you,
going Monopoly on me?
423
00:17:22,224 --> 00:17:24,192
You're the thimble.
Yeah, and do not pass go.
424
00:17:24,259 --> 00:17:26,261
You go directly
to the back seat, buddy.
425
00:17:26,328 --> 00:17:28,330
I feel like
I'm being sandbagged.
426
00:17:28,398 --> 00:17:30,198
Question, should I take
a quick shit here or should I...
427
00:17:30,265 --> 00:17:32,134
- Would you guys just get in the car already?
- Okay.
428
00:17:33,335 --> 00:17:35,303
♪ Hey, baby ♪
429
00:17:35,371 --> 00:17:37,607
♪ You gotta remember ♪
430
00:17:38,907 --> 00:17:40,909
- The trip it is.
- Whoo-hoo!
431
00:17:40,976 --> 00:17:42,512
- Yeah!
- Oh, you know what?
432
00:17:44,580 --> 00:17:46,549
- Ho!
- Oh!
433
00:17:46,616 --> 00:17:48,216
Stacy!
434
00:17:48,283 --> 00:17:50,118
Yo, baby, all right.
435
00:17:50,185 --> 00:17:51,788
- Now we're ready.
- Now we're ready.
436
00:17:51,854 --> 00:17:53,689
- Let's do this.
- Let's go!
437
00:17:53,756 --> 00:17:58,193
♪ Come on
And look me in the face ♪
438
00:17:58,260 --> 00:18:01,397
♪ 'Cause I can tell
That something ♪
439
00:18:01,464 --> 00:18:04,065
♪ Is bringing you down ♪
440
00:18:04,132 --> 00:18:05,668
♪ Bringing you down ♪
441
00:18:05,735 --> 00:18:10,406
♪ Is it the rumor
That another girl ♪
442
00:18:10,473 --> 00:18:13,241
♪ Wants to take your place ♪
443
00:18:13,308 --> 00:18:15,210
♪ I think
She's after your heart ♪
444
00:18:15,277 --> 00:18:17,814
♪ Well, I've been hearing
The stories ♪
445
00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:20,215
♪ They're going around ♪
446
00:18:20,282 --> 00:18:22,217
♪ All of my friends are taken ♪
447
00:18:22,284 --> 00:18:24,052
♪ Hey, baby ♪
448
00:18:26,522 --> 00:18:27,557
Oh, son!
449
00:18:27,623 --> 00:18:29,124
- If they have a...
- I think I have one.
450
00:18:29,191 --> 00:18:30,593
- What's up, bro?
- Welcome.
451
00:18:30,660 --> 00:18:32,961
- Grizzly Adams.
- Oh, we should play Megaballs.
452
00:18:33,028 --> 00:18:34,864
- Who?
- Oh, you got that Megaballs?
453
00:18:34,931 --> 00:18:36,399
What?
454
00:18:36,466 --> 00:18:38,734
Talk to me about your
collection of jazz, smooth.
455
00:18:38,801 --> 00:18:40,570
I don't know, man,
there's, like, two aisles.
456
00:18:40,636 --> 00:18:43,038
- Which one?
- Dude, I just work here.
457
00:18:43,104 --> 00:18:44,474
That's why I'm asking you.
458
00:18:45,775 --> 00:18:47,410
- Oh.
- Ooh.
459
00:18:50,111 --> 00:18:51,614
- Let me ask you guys something.
- Hmm?
460
00:18:51,681 --> 00:18:53,449
You guys ever wonder
what Murray gets up to
461
00:18:53,516 --> 00:18:55,518
- when we're not with him?
- I would love to know.
462
00:18:55,585 --> 00:18:57,052
We've been friends with him
my whole life.
463
00:18:57,118 --> 00:18:58,721
I go to sleep
wondering what he does.
464
00:18:58,788 --> 00:19:00,656
- Hmm.
- I got ideas.
465
00:19:00,723 --> 00:19:01,791
- Yeah?
- Tell me.
466
00:19:01,858 --> 00:19:03,124
- He traveled a lot.
- Yeah.
467
00:19:03,191 --> 00:19:05,026
That time he went
on that tour with Yanni
468
00:19:05,093 --> 00:19:06,662
in South America.
469
00:19:06,729 --> 00:19:08,263
The Rainbows to Rainforest
Tour, I remember that.
470
00:19:08,330 --> 00:19:09,866
Yeah, but he kept
using air quotes with that.
471
00:19:09,932 --> 00:19:11,233
- He did that with you?
- Yeah,
472
00:19:11,299 --> 00:19:13,603
like, "If you need me,
I'll be with Yanni
473
00:19:13,669 --> 00:19:14,937
in South America."
474
00:19:15,036 --> 00:19:16,338
Now, what does that mean?
475
00:19:16,405 --> 00:19:18,541
Every part of that sentence
is a fallacy?
476
00:19:19,942 --> 00:19:21,109
"I-I'll be unavailable."
477
00:19:21,176 --> 00:19:22,411
- Whoa.
- What is that?
478
00:19:22,478 --> 00:19:23,980
It's air quotes.
We're all doing it.
479
00:19:24,045 --> 00:19:25,448
- No, no, no. What's that?
- Unavailable. It's air quotes.
480
00:19:25,515 --> 00:19:26,949
You're not calling
four people over,
481
00:19:27,015 --> 00:19:28,016
you gotta flip that
and reverse it.
482
00:19:28,083 --> 00:19:29,251
Oh, all right, Missy Elliott.
483
00:19:29,317 --> 00:19:30,553
- I wasn't sure. Got it.
- Fellas?
484
00:19:30,620 --> 00:19:32,020
- Yo?
- Got it.
485
00:19:34,055 --> 00:19:36,459
Right? For the road.
For the road?
486
00:19:36,526 --> 00:19:37,527
Right?
487
00:19:39,261 --> 00:19:40,262
I don't need him.
488
00:19:54,142 --> 00:19:55,678
DC, baby.
489
00:19:58,346 --> 00:19:59,815
So today,
we're stopping people
490
00:19:59,882 --> 00:20:01,283
and telling them
we gotta speak at a memorial.
491
00:20:01,349 --> 00:20:03,151
The only thing is that
we've written...
492
00:20:03,218 --> 00:20:04,687
- Each other's.
- Each other's eulogies.
493
00:20:04,754 --> 00:20:06,187
So, at the end,
we'll have to ask them,
494
00:20:06,254 --> 00:20:07,690
"Do you think it's fit to say?"
495
00:20:07,757 --> 00:20:10,693
And if they say no, we lose.
If they say yes, we win.
496
00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:12,562
It's a sad day.
497
00:20:14,030 --> 00:20:17,400
This just shows you
how fleeting life is, guys.
498
00:20:17,466 --> 00:20:18,601
How about this old guy?
499
00:20:19,535 --> 00:20:21,136
You got the right idea.
500
00:20:21,202 --> 00:20:23,039
- Ooh, too many steps.
- Can't handle it.
501
00:20:23,104 --> 00:20:24,574
You just, you guys
are in town just visiting
502
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:26,274
- for the tours, the sights?
- Yeah.
503
00:20:26,341 --> 00:20:27,710
Look at the urn.
504
00:20:27,777 --> 00:20:29,412
I'm in town, unfortunately,
for sad reasons.
505
00:20:29,478 --> 00:20:31,212
- Got a, um...
- Bucket of ashes right here.
506
00:20:31,279 --> 00:20:32,748
- I'm giving the eulogy.
- Oh.
507
00:20:32,815 --> 00:20:34,249
Yeah, at a funeral.
508
00:20:34,316 --> 00:20:36,217
He got a great mark.
This guy's so into the idea.
509
00:20:36,284 --> 00:20:38,621
We're doing the thing by the water
and spreading the ashes, you know.
510
00:20:38,688 --> 00:20:40,022
Oh, yeah.
511
00:20:40,088 --> 00:20:41,857
., 00:20:43,526
Is that why people come
to the reflection pool, though?
513
00:20:43,593 --> 00:20:45,226
I'm pretty sure you're not
allowed to even do that.
514
00:20:45,293 --> 00:20:46,462
Can I run the eulogy by you?
It takes one second.
515
00:20:46,529 --> 00:20:47,663
It's only
a couple sentences long.
516
00:20:47,730 --> 00:20:49,832
You're very brave
for doing that.
517
00:20:49,899 --> 00:20:51,199
Here's the eulogy I wrote.
518
00:20:51,266 --> 00:20:53,002
"Grandma."
519
00:20:53,069 --> 00:20:54,302
"Grandma was...
520
00:20:54,370 --> 00:20:56,204
Grandma was
a straight up bitch."
521
00:20:58,173 --> 00:21:00,376
"You know it, Grandpa.
We all know it.
522
00:21:00,443 --> 00:21:01,644
And now she's dead
523
00:21:01,711 --> 00:21:03,546
and we've got
her goddamn money.
524
00:21:03,613 --> 00:21:05,313
Let's go to China Buffet
to celebrate
525
00:21:05,381 --> 00:21:06,949
this bitch's
one-way ticket to hell."
526
00:21:07,016 --> 00:21:08,249
Wow.
527
00:21:08,316 --> 00:21:09,452
What do you think?
Is it ready to go?
528
00:21:11,053 --> 00:21:13,456
I don't know what other
people would think about that.
529
00:21:13,522 --> 00:21:15,024
We all felt this way
about Grandma.
530
00:21:15,091 --> 00:21:16,058
- Oh.
- We all did.
531
00:21:16,124 --> 00:21:17,760
Including Grandpa.
532
00:21:17,827 --> 00:21:19,061
So you think I should just read
this or should I change it?
533
00:21:19,127 --> 00:21:20,496
I don't... I wouldn't.
534
00:21:20,563 --> 00:21:21,764
- You wouldn't read it?
- No.
535
00:21:21,831 --> 00:21:24,066
Oh!
536
00:21:24,132 --> 00:21:25,067
I'm not good
with public speaking.
537
00:21:25,133 --> 00:21:26,234
Forget the urn. Walk away.
538
00:21:26,301 --> 00:21:27,603
All right.
Well, take care, sir.
539
00:21:27,670 --> 00:21:29,337
- Have a great vacation. Enjoy.
- Yeah.
540
00:21:29,405 --> 00:21:31,007
- Take care, now.
- You bet.
541
00:21:31,073 --> 00:21:32,074
What do you want with this?
542
00:21:34,977 --> 00:21:36,311
Sir?
543
00:21:47,023 --> 00:21:48,658
Guys, can I ask you a question?
544
00:21:48,724 --> 00:21:49,759
Here we go.
545
00:21:49,825 --> 00:21:51,394
It's just a few words.
I'm very nervous.
546
00:21:51,460 --> 00:21:53,062
Can I read it to you
just to say it out loud
547
00:21:53,129 --> 00:21:54,597
- and tell me if you like it?
- Sure.
548
00:21:54,664 --> 00:21:56,231
I'm so nervous.
The family's meeting me. Yeah.
549
00:21:56,297 --> 00:21:59,035
Okay, uh,
"Thank you all for coming
550
00:21:59,101 --> 00:22:02,371
to the spreading of the ashes
of Joey Dumps."
551
00:22:02,438 --> 00:22:03,706
- Joey Dumps.
- Joey Dumps.
552
00:22:03,773 --> 00:22:05,474
"What could be said
about Joey Dumps?
553
00:22:05,541 --> 00:22:07,009
He took his lumps."
554
00:22:08,678 --> 00:22:10,046
"Joey Dumps was there for me.
555
00:22:10,112 --> 00:22:11,647
He let me see those dumps.
556
00:22:11,714 --> 00:22:13,549
Dumps-da-dumps-dumps-dumps."
557
00:22:13,616 --> 00:22:14,784
"When you were down
in the dumps,
558
00:22:14,850 --> 00:22:16,519
who was there for you...
Joey Dumps.
559
00:22:16,585 --> 00:22:17,987
Dumps like a truck,
truck, truck."
560
00:22:19,422 --> 00:22:21,424
"Guys like a what, what, what.
561
00:22:21,490 --> 00:22:25,161
So to honor his last wish,
we now dump Dumps' ashes,
562
00:22:25,226 --> 00:22:27,029
and then go listen
to the final episode
563
00:22:27,096 --> 00:22:28,864
of his baseball-themed
podcast,
564
00:22:28,931 --> 00:22:31,934
'Joey Dumps Humps Chump Umps
in the Rumps.'"
565
00:22:33,903 --> 00:22:36,439
- It's so Joey Dumps.
- It's very Joey Dumps.
566
00:22:36,505 --> 00:22:38,206
- Do you think it...
- It's very funny.
567
00:22:38,273 --> 00:22:40,376
- Should I change anything?
- No.
568
00:22:40,443 --> 00:22:41,944
- No? Ah.
- Oh!
569
00:22:42,011 --> 00:22:44,345
- It's a great memorial.
- Thank you very much.
570
00:22:44,413 --> 00:22:46,182
- I appreciate you guys.
- Thank you. Good luck.
571
00:22:46,247 --> 00:22:48,050
- Thank you.
- He was a big Sisqó fan.
572
00:22:48,117 --> 00:22:49,485
Wow. Ready to go.
573
00:22:49,552 --> 00:22:52,088
- Good job with that, Sal.
- Sal with a W.
574
00:22:52,154 --> 00:22:53,321
My eulogy game, I crush.
575
00:22:53,389 --> 00:22:54,523
I give a good eulogy.
576
00:22:57,893 --> 00:22:59,061
You guys ready?
577
00:22:59,128 --> 00:23:00,663
Yeah, the cameras
aren't on, but...
578
00:23:00,730 --> 00:23:01,797
How we doing?
Cameras aren't ready yet?
579
00:23:01,864 --> 00:23:03,432
Guys, the secret is to...
580
00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:08,037
pique interest,
pique the curiosity of people.
581
00:23:08,104 --> 00:23:10,106
Could you just hold this up,
and I'm just gonna...
582
00:23:10,172 --> 00:23:11,841
Yeah, just hold that up,
yeah, like that, it's perfect.
583
00:23:13,509 --> 00:23:15,377
They're holding ashes.
584
00:23:15,444 --> 00:23:16,679
There we go. That's great.
585
00:23:16,746 --> 00:23:18,279
- Yeah, I'm here for a memorial.
- Oh.
586
00:23:18,346 --> 00:23:21,517
So I'm about to give
a eulogy, um, about this.
587
00:23:21,584 --> 00:23:23,185
So I'm just getting prepared.
588
00:23:23,251 --> 00:23:24,887
You mind if I just say it out
loud to you guys real quick?
589
00:23:24,954 --> 00:23:26,989
- Sure. Go on.
- Yeah. Hold her. Thanks.
590
00:23:27,056 --> 00:23:28,157
Okay.
591
00:23:28,224 --> 00:23:29,191
Sometimes he makes it
look easy.
592
00:23:29,257 --> 00:23:31,292
"This that eulogy. You know.
593
00:23:31,360 --> 00:23:33,195
You know what it is,
gang, gang.
594
00:23:33,261 --> 00:23:35,231
Devin died. He got got."
595
00:23:36,532 --> 00:23:37,967
"He got shot. He loved life.
596
00:23:38,033 --> 00:23:39,401
He loved wife, my wife.
597
00:23:39,468 --> 00:23:41,704
I shot that mother.
Eleven shots in the leg."
598
00:23:41,771 --> 00:23:43,405
- In the leg?
- "I ain't supposed to be here,
599
00:23:43,472 --> 00:23:45,241
but y'all know what?
Y'all can scratch.
600
00:23:45,306 --> 00:23:47,109
I came here
to see him put down
601
00:23:47,176 --> 00:23:48,210
- and piss on the grave."
- Oh!
602
00:23:50,278 --> 00:23:52,915
That's when I would take...
Expose myself and start peeing.
603
00:23:52,982 --> 00:23:54,650
- "Expose myself and..."
- And then remember
604
00:23:54,717 --> 00:23:56,585
to drink a lot of water prior,
as a note to myself.
605
00:23:56,652 --> 00:23:59,121
And then escape out
the southeast exit...
606
00:23:59,188 --> 00:24:00,523
- Escape.
- Of the cemetery.
607
00:24:00,589 --> 00:24:01,957
And it's a right on red.
608
00:24:03,159 --> 00:24:04,460
So that's how I would do that.
609
00:24:04,527 --> 00:24:06,362
- Way too extreme.
- Is it too extreme?
610
00:24:06,428 --> 00:24:08,898
Oh!
611
00:24:08,964 --> 00:24:10,132
Yes!
612
00:24:10,199 --> 00:24:11,600
I should probably just say
he was a good guy.
613
00:24:11,667 --> 00:24:13,102
Yeah, just probably...
Yeah, yeah.
614
00:24:13,169 --> 00:24:14,203
I think that's all.
That's why you're MC, yeah.
615
00:24:14,270 --> 00:24:15,336
So not good to go, then.
616
00:24:22,111 --> 00:24:24,513
Here goes Q. He looks good.
He's all cleaned up.
617
00:24:24,580 --> 00:24:25,915
- Q always looks good.
- Take a picture?
618
00:24:25,981 --> 00:24:29,351
- Yeah, no problem.
- Here you go, Q, you're in.
619
00:24:29,418 --> 00:24:30,953
Got it. There you go.
Thank you.
620
00:24:31,020 --> 00:24:33,923
Thanks, I'm, uh, doing
a eulogy, actually.
621
00:24:33,989 --> 00:24:36,324
We're supposed to dump
the ashes in here,
622
00:24:36,392 --> 00:24:37,793
but it turns out
you're not allowed to.
623
00:24:37,860 --> 00:24:39,295
Do you mind if I run
the speech by you?
624
00:24:39,361 --> 00:24:41,297
'Cause I'm super nervous.
It's super short.
625
00:24:41,363 --> 00:24:43,465
"What to say
about Cousin Frieda?
626
00:24:44,466 --> 00:24:45,868
Sure, she had loose morals
627
00:24:45,935 --> 00:24:48,504
and a libido that wouldn't
quit, and that's..."
628
00:24:49,305 --> 00:24:50,372
- How old are you?
- 13.
629
00:24:50,439 --> 00:24:52,575
13? All right, cool.
630
00:24:52,641 --> 00:24:55,211
I'm good.
631
00:24:55,277 --> 00:24:57,546
That's it. You're out.
632
00:24:57,613 --> 00:25:00,749
It's all about how she died
'cause of STDs.
633
00:25:12,261 --> 00:25:13,796
- Gettin' up.
- Ready to go.
634
00:25:25,074 --> 00:25:27,409
- Can you guys humor me?
- Always.
635
00:25:28,644 --> 00:25:30,212
Can we find a cave?
636
00:25:32,514 --> 00:25:33,716
Don't ask.
637
00:25:33,782 --> 00:25:36,051
- Wait, it depends, for who.
- You.
638
00:25:38,721 --> 00:25:42,725
This, I mean, this idea
basically was a layup for us.
639
00:25:42,791 --> 00:25:44,526
Just how do we make
Joe's stupid face
640
00:25:44,593 --> 00:25:45,794
look even more stupid?
641
00:25:45,861 --> 00:25:49,331
The conceit here
is Joe lost his tour
642
00:25:49,398 --> 00:25:51,300
about three decades ago.
643
00:25:51,368 --> 00:25:53,836
And he's been living
under the earth ever since.
644
00:25:53,903 --> 00:25:56,739
Middle of the summer,
when it's 110 degrees outside,
645
00:25:56,805 --> 00:25:58,607
this is the place to be,
I'll tell you that.
646
00:25:58,674 --> 00:26:00,476
When you guys see Joe
for the first time,
647
00:26:00,542 --> 00:26:02,044
that's the first time
we're seeing Joe.
648
00:26:02,111 --> 00:26:03,279
I can't wait for this.
649
00:26:03,345 --> 00:26:04,381
So as we're coming
through here,
650
00:26:04,446 --> 00:26:05,781
kind of look along the ceiling.
651
00:26:05,848 --> 00:26:07,549
We got lots
of these little divots.
652
00:26:07,616 --> 00:26:09,518
Here we go.
653
00:26:09,585 --> 00:26:11,086
You'll notice these cracks.
654
00:26:11,153 --> 00:26:13,956
That's the water movement
when all this was underwater.
655
00:26:14,023 --> 00:26:15,157
Hello?
656
00:26:15,224 --> 00:26:16,725
- Oh.
- Oh.
657
00:26:16,792 --> 00:26:19,695
- Yo.
- Oh, hey, man.
658
00:26:19,762 --> 00:26:21,096
Oh.
659
00:26:21,163 --> 00:26:24,533
- Are you all right?
- Yeah. What's up?
660
00:26:26,468 --> 00:26:28,837
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
661
00:26:30,306 --> 00:26:33,242
Look at their faces.
They're shocked.
662
00:26:33,309 --> 00:26:35,511
Oh, my God. For real, though?
663
00:26:35,577 --> 00:26:37,279
That's freakin' me out.
664
00:26:37,346 --> 00:26:38,480
It's freakin' you out?
665
00:26:38,547 --> 00:26:39,715
Imagine what this is like
for me.
666
00:26:39,782 --> 00:26:40,983
You all right, dude?
667
00:26:41,050 --> 00:26:42,217
No, I've been
to too many movies.
668
00:26:42,284 --> 00:26:43,353
Oh, he's gross.
669
00:26:43,420 --> 00:26:45,388
I got lost
a little while ago.
670
00:26:45,454 --> 00:26:46,655
Hey.
671
00:26:46,722 --> 00:26:47,957
I didn't think he was...
I didn't think
672
00:26:48,023 --> 00:26:49,558
he was gonna come out
of this cave.
673
00:26:49,625 --> 00:26:52,194
I was waiting for my parents.
674
00:26:52,261 --> 00:26:53,896
I've been down here since 1987.
675
00:26:55,698 --> 00:26:57,132
Dad said,
"Don't have a cow, man.
676
00:26:57,199 --> 00:26:58,233
Talk to the hand."
677
00:26:58,300 --> 00:27:00,569
And I was here...
678
00:27:00,636 --> 00:27:02,137
I got all turned around.
679
00:27:02,204 --> 00:27:04,606
What happened was I was looking
for the gift shop...
680
00:27:05,574 --> 00:27:06,942
It's on down the left.
681
00:27:08,544 --> 00:27:10,512
I went on my ass
to the left here...
682
00:27:10,579 --> 00:27:11,880
I like your shirt.
683
00:27:11,947 --> 00:27:13,983
I'm the beef.
684
00:27:14,049 --> 00:27:16,251
Joe, be proud
of your "I'm the Beef" shirt.
685
00:27:16,318 --> 00:27:18,355
- Back of...
- I'm the beef.
686
00:27:18,421 --> 00:27:20,756
I'm the beef.
687
00:27:20,823 --> 00:27:21,991
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to interrupt.
688
00:27:22,057 --> 00:27:23,659
- I'll just fold in.
- Oh, okay.
689
00:27:23,726 --> 00:27:25,728
Well, the water...
690
00:27:25,794 --> 00:27:27,296
Again, the water
that moves through it,
691
00:27:27,364 --> 00:27:29,031
that just opens up the cave.
692
00:27:29,098 --> 00:27:31,300
So this water,
usually, with the rain,
693
00:27:31,368 --> 00:27:32,534
will come up over that way.
694
00:27:32,601 --> 00:27:33,769
Y'all have any questions?
695
00:27:33,836 --> 00:27:34,803
I have...
I have a lot of questions.
696
00:27:34,870 --> 00:27:37,006
Uh, yeah. Go ahead.
697
00:27:37,072 --> 00:27:39,308
Let's start
with what year is it?
698
00:27:39,376 --> 00:27:41,844
- It's 2018, sir.
- Okay.
699
00:27:41,910 --> 00:27:45,014
Let me check my pager.
700
00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:47,484
Joe, have them fall in line
and walk in front of them
701
00:27:47,549 --> 00:27:48,984
- like you're a sergeant.
- Why don't you...
702
00:27:49,051 --> 00:27:50,786
Why don't you let me
just tell everybody?
703
00:27:50,853 --> 00:27:51,954
- You're pissed at everybody.
- This water comes every...
704
00:27:52,021 --> 00:27:53,288
Come on, Neil.
705
00:27:54,590 --> 00:27:55,924
This is what happened.
706
00:27:55,991 --> 00:27:57,593
You go up this ravine
and it's a dead end.
707
00:27:57,659 --> 00:28:01,296
- Goes up, like, 200 feet.
- 350 feet, Neil.
708
00:28:01,364 --> 00:28:03,832
Goes to 350 feet, okay?
709
00:28:03,899 --> 00:28:05,100
I mean, if you're gonna
talk out your ass,
710
00:28:05,167 --> 00:28:06,602
turn around
so I can understand you.
711
00:28:10,039 --> 00:28:11,907
Anybody know who shot J.R.?
712
00:28:11,974 --> 00:28:13,609
Do you guys know who shot J.R.?
713
00:28:15,911 --> 00:28:18,247
'Cause I missed...
J.R. from Dallas.
714
00:28:18,313 --> 00:28:19,482
I missed that.
715
00:28:19,548 --> 00:28:21,250
It's been on my mind
for so long.
716
00:28:21,316 --> 00:28:24,319
- Dad?
- Dad? What?
717
00:28:24,387 --> 00:28:26,321
I didn't say shit.
718
00:28:28,624 --> 00:28:30,527
You guys,
follow me out of here.
719
00:28:30,592 --> 00:28:31,727
I'm dying to get outside.
720
00:28:31,794 --> 00:28:33,028
Did Mondale get a second term?
721
00:28:33,095 --> 00:28:34,930
Did Mondale get a second term?
722
00:28:37,800 --> 00:28:40,903
Uh, okay, we're still
rolling here, guys.
723
00:28:42,337 --> 00:28:45,207
You fucking son of a bitch.
Oh, my God.
724
00:28:45,274 --> 00:28:47,643
Oh, my God.
It scared the shit out of me.
725
00:28:47,709 --> 00:28:49,211
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God!
726
00:28:57,953 --> 00:28:59,621
Turn up the tension.
Pedal, pedal.
727
00:28:59,688 --> 00:29:00,989
- Hey, bud, what's up?
- Hey.
728
00:29:01,056 --> 00:29:04,726
You, uh, have
a laptop charger or...
729
00:29:04,793 --> 00:29:06,161
Which one?
USB-C or the older ones?
730
00:29:06,228 --> 00:29:09,064
Let's go, ladies!
Keep it going!
731
00:29:09,131 --> 00:29:11,633
Work the quads,
work the glutes.
732
00:29:11,700 --> 00:29:12,968
Anyways, what can I do
for you, bud?
733
00:29:13,035 --> 00:29:14,837
- "Let's go, ladies"?
- Let's go, yeah.
734
00:29:14,903 --> 00:29:16,406
Who are these ladies?
735
00:29:16,473 --> 00:29:18,740
Do me a favor, keep 'em
encouraged while I'm gone.
736
00:29:21,176 --> 00:29:23,212
Let's go!
737
00:29:23,278 --> 00:29:25,548
You are doggin' it!
I want to see more out of you!
738
00:29:25,614 --> 00:29:26,882
You over there,
you're looking good.
739
00:29:26,949 --> 00:29:28,585
- Let's go!
- Sorry, that's too much.
740
00:29:28,650 --> 00:29:30,018
- That's too much.
- Yeah, I'm so sorry.
741
00:29:30,085 --> 00:29:31,354
I don't have the USB-C,
I have the older laptop,
742
00:29:31,421 --> 00:29:32,522
so I don't got it, bud.
743
00:29:32,589 --> 00:29:33,989
Good?
744
00:29:34,056 --> 00:29:35,458
- Did you...
- I haven't got it, okay?
745
00:29:35,525 --> 00:29:38,660
Come on, ladies!
Let's go, let's go, let's go!
746
00:29:53,742 --> 00:29:55,844
Q is on a boat
with a couple of strangers,
747
00:29:55,911 --> 00:29:57,913
and we've arranged
for this boat to pull up
748
00:29:57,980 --> 00:29:59,382
on someone in distress.
749
00:29:59,449 --> 00:30:02,184
Q doesn't know who, how,
or what the situation is.
750
00:30:02,251 --> 00:30:04,253
In that moment,
the captain's gonna say,
751
00:30:04,319 --> 00:30:06,456
because of the law,
he cannot accept
752
00:30:06,523 --> 00:30:07,756
anyone else on the boat
753
00:30:07,823 --> 00:30:09,392
unless it's unanimously
agreed upon.
754
00:30:09,459 --> 00:30:11,226
The catch is that we're
gonna give him the reason
755
00:30:11,293 --> 00:30:12,828
why this guy
can't get on the boat.
756
00:30:13,862 --> 00:30:15,164
You see that?
757
00:30:15,230 --> 00:30:17,866
Guy over there
flagging us down.
758
00:30:17,933 --> 00:30:19,935
- A guy?
- Uh-oh, Q. Uh-oh, Q.
759
00:30:20,002 --> 00:30:21,170
Somebody's in the water.
760
00:30:24,139 --> 00:30:25,542
You see who that is, Q?
761
00:30:25,608 --> 00:30:29,111
Is that a U.S. soldier?
762
00:30:29,178 --> 00:30:31,180
- A hero?
- An American hero.
763
00:30:31,246 --> 00:30:33,650
It's G.I. Float.
764
00:30:33,715 --> 00:30:36,218
I'm a U.S. soldier in distress.
765
00:30:36,285 --> 00:30:37,387
Can you please help?
766
00:30:37,453 --> 00:30:38,588
We have to make sure
that everyone's okay
767
00:30:38,655 --> 00:30:39,821
with bringing him on.
768
00:30:39,888 --> 00:30:40,822
Are you guys
all right with that?
769
00:30:40,889 --> 00:30:42,224
Yeah, that's all right.
770
00:30:42,291 --> 00:30:43,825
You're okay
with bringing him on?
771
00:30:43,892 --> 00:30:47,463
If he's in distress,
then we want to help.
772
00:30:47,530 --> 00:30:48,864
You okay to bring him on?
773
00:30:48,931 --> 00:30:50,299
Well, hear me out.
774
00:30:50,366 --> 00:30:51,934
I mean, we help a solider
in a dinghy,
775
00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:53,835
what's that gonna do
for his confidence?
776
00:30:53,902 --> 00:30:56,071
If we...
777
00:30:56,138 --> 00:30:58,106
If we were to help
a soldier in a dinghy,
778
00:30:58,173 --> 00:31:00,075
what's that do
for his confidence?
779
00:31:02,077 --> 00:31:04,647
We have backed him
into a corner like no other.
780
00:31:04,713 --> 00:31:06,815
- Where's he from?
- Where did you serve?
781
00:31:06,882 --> 00:31:09,552
- Iraq.
- Oh, so he survived Iraq.
782
00:31:09,619 --> 00:31:10,986
He's okay.
783
00:31:11,053 --> 00:31:13,590
I thank you for your service.
784
00:31:13,656 --> 00:31:16,325
I'm just saying, we don't really
know anything about the guy.
785
00:31:16,392 --> 00:31:18,428
They sell that outfit
at any Army-Navy store.
786
00:31:18,494 --> 00:31:20,963
You know?
787
00:31:21,029 --> 00:31:22,398
How is this even an issue?
788
00:31:26,868 --> 00:31:28,203
I know this looks like
I don't want
789
00:31:28,270 --> 00:31:29,706
to save a U.S. soldier
in distress...
790
00:31:29,805 --> 00:31:31,507
- No, it doesn't.
- It doesn't? Great.
791
00:31:32,741 --> 00:31:34,477
- Oh! Oh, my God!
- Wow.
792
00:31:34,544 --> 00:31:37,012
How is he convincing people
not to help a soldier?
793
00:31:37,079 --> 00:31:39,415
I know, right, a unanimous
vote from you guys, seriously.
794
00:31:39,482 --> 00:31:40,650
Yeah, we're good.
795
00:31:40,717 --> 00:31:41,917
We talked it out,
796
00:31:41,984 --> 00:31:44,019
and we're okay
just bailing on him.
797
00:31:44,086 --> 00:31:45,588
I feel bad
leaving him out there.
798
00:31:45,655 --> 00:31:47,055
- Yes!
- Oh.
799
00:31:47,122 --> 00:31:49,459
I need an answer
from each of you, then, so...
800
00:31:49,525 --> 00:31:51,628
I'll go with whatever
the group decides.
801
00:31:51,694 --> 00:31:52,828
Let him on the boat.
802
00:31:52,894 --> 00:31:54,062
- Yeah?
- Oh!
803
00:31:54,129 --> 00:31:56,932
- Let him on?
- Yeah!
804
00:31:56,999 --> 00:31:58,333
Where were you going to?
805
00:31:58,401 --> 00:32:00,769
Uh, actually,
I was trying to get to Miami
806
00:32:00,836 --> 00:32:02,572
to see the Paula Abdul concert.
807
00:32:04,172 --> 00:32:06,509
Aren't we all.
808
00:32:12,415 --> 00:32:14,082
This looks like
a real party crowd
809
00:32:14,149 --> 00:32:16,419
you have out there, pal.
810
00:32:16,486 --> 00:32:18,320
We're about to roll up
on somebody.
811
00:32:18,388 --> 00:32:20,956
Here we go,
they're already worried.
812
00:32:21,023 --> 00:32:22,759
It's a man in a boat?
813
00:32:22,824 --> 00:32:24,560
Joe, why don't you go take
a look at who's in distress?
814
00:32:24,627 --> 00:32:26,828
Just watch Joe's face.
815
00:32:28,930 --> 00:32:30,198
I'm stuck.
816
00:32:30,265 --> 00:32:32,000
Can you swing around,
give me a hand?
817
00:32:32,067 --> 00:32:33,201
Oh, man.
818
00:32:35,438 --> 00:32:37,839
Oh, I'm stuck!
819
00:32:37,906 --> 00:32:40,610
I'm having trouble
getting back on the boat.
820
00:32:40,677 --> 00:32:43,446
What does he think?
821
00:32:43,513 --> 00:32:46,048
Basically, maritime law says
that if we bring him on,
822
00:32:46,114 --> 00:32:48,050
everyone has to be okay
with us bringing him on.
823
00:32:48,116 --> 00:32:50,486
- Does it have to be unanimous?
- It has to be unanimous.
824
00:32:50,553 --> 00:32:51,920
- Is it all right with you?
- Oh, no it...
825
00:32:51,987 --> 00:32:53,021
- Is it okay with you, sir?
- Yeah.
826
00:32:53,690 --> 00:32:55,324
Oh, no.
827
00:32:56,693 --> 00:32:57,859
I mean, hear me out.
828
00:32:57,926 --> 00:32:59,227
I promised I'd never put myself
829
00:32:59,294 --> 00:33:00,829
into this situation again.
830
00:33:00,896 --> 00:33:02,130
I promised
I'd never put myself
831
00:33:02,197 --> 00:33:03,466
in this situation again.
832
00:33:03,533 --> 00:33:04,734
I've been burned once.
833
00:33:04,801 --> 00:33:05,635
I'm not gonna let it
happen twice.
834
00:33:07,470 --> 00:33:09,037
- You're saying no?
- I'm saying no, yeah.
835
00:33:09,104 --> 00:33:11,139
Murr, I'm having issues
with my dinghy.
836
00:33:11,206 --> 00:33:13,975
Guys, I'm having issues
with my dinghy.
837
00:33:14,042 --> 00:33:15,911
I don't know which dinghy
he's talking about.
838
00:33:15,977 --> 00:33:17,979
I don't know.
839
00:33:19,615 --> 00:33:22,385
I mean, you gotta see it
from our point of view, pal.
840
00:33:22,452 --> 00:33:24,252
Joe, go on a rant.
Take this thing over.
841
00:33:24,319 --> 00:33:26,021
You got your buttocks out
in the middle of the ocean,
842
00:33:26,088 --> 00:33:27,889
bobbing up and down
with a lady on the boat,
843
00:33:27,956 --> 00:33:29,359
I mean, you want us
to take you on...
844
00:33:29,425 --> 00:33:31,026
- I mean, where are your trunks?
- What?
845
00:33:31,093 --> 00:33:33,363
The logic doesn't track.
Where are your trunks?
846
00:33:35,330 --> 00:33:37,367
Can't we just help him
get on his boat?
847
00:33:37,433 --> 00:33:38,967
Joey,
it's you versus Murr.
848
00:33:39,034 --> 00:33:41,504
- He gets on, you lose.
- Dead, pal.
849
00:33:41,571 --> 00:33:44,906
Yeah, the rule is we both
get on this boat, I lose.
850
00:33:45,742 --> 00:33:48,343
- Pretty much.
- What?
851
00:33:48,411 --> 00:33:49,779
Wait, wait, whoa, whoa.
Hold on!
852
00:33:49,846 --> 00:33:51,179
What are you doing?
853
00:33:52,013 --> 00:33:53,649
Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joey.
854
00:33:53,716 --> 00:33:55,283
What are you... What?
855
00:33:55,351 --> 00:33:57,886
I'm out. Ah!
856
00:34:01,491 --> 00:34:02,825
Is this for real?
857
00:34:02,891 --> 00:34:05,127
He's gonna save him.
He's going to save him.
858
00:34:05,193 --> 00:34:08,196
- Come on!
- So Murray still loses.
859
00:34:08,263 --> 00:34:09,699
- That's it, he's off.
- Oh, my God, Murray...
860
00:34:09,766 --> 00:34:10,899
Well, he's not
getting on the boat.
861
00:34:10,966 --> 00:34:12,000
- Get in...
- Just not...
862
00:34:12,067 --> 00:34:14,269
- Oh!
- Oh!
863
00:34:14,336 --> 00:34:16,104
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
864
00:34:16,171 --> 00:34:18,508
How could you dare
touch that ass?
865
00:34:18,574 --> 00:34:21,377
- I'll see you back at land.
- Are you kidding me? Joe!
866
00:34:21,444 --> 00:34:22,944
Do you have beer on this boat?
867
00:34:24,580 --> 00:34:25,782
Son of a...
868
00:34:47,169 --> 00:34:50,406
- Wow. This is special.
- Ooh.
869
00:34:50,473 --> 00:34:51,973
You couldn't have booked
something a little bit better?
870
00:34:52,040 --> 00:34:53,609
It's 2 1/2 stars.
How many stars do you need?
871
00:34:53,676 --> 00:34:55,243
- All of them.
- One of the reviews,
872
00:34:55,310 --> 00:34:58,280
Danny D. says,
"Found two crack pipes, lolz."
873
00:34:58,346 --> 00:35:00,817
With a Z.
Still gave it four stars.
874
00:35:00,883 --> 00:35:01,983
- All right.
- With a Z?
875
00:35:02,050 --> 00:35:03,453
- It's got cable.
- That's hip.
876
00:35:13,529 --> 00:35:14,963
You guys did not think
we weren't gonna
877
00:35:15,030 --> 00:35:16,532
mess with Sal
on this trip, did you?
878
00:35:16,599 --> 00:35:18,501
Yeah, that's right, we stopped
at this roadside motel
879
00:35:18,568 --> 00:35:20,001
because they allow pets.
880
00:35:20,068 --> 00:35:21,504
You're about to see
a grown man cry.
881
00:35:23,606 --> 00:35:25,273
I was saying, like, pull up
to him, so it could be fun.
882
00:35:25,340 --> 00:35:27,008
Just... You're just going
to see what he's doing.
883
00:35:27,075 --> 00:35:29,177
- Right. Hoodie's on?
- Get in.
884
00:35:32,347 --> 00:35:33,449
What?
885
00:35:36,985 --> 00:35:38,754
All right. Can I...
886
00:35:38,821 --> 00:35:40,222
Just open the door, buddy.
887
00:35:40,288 --> 00:35:42,358
- There's no handle.
- No handle?
888
00:35:42,425 --> 00:35:44,059
This isn't the nicest motel.
889
00:35:44,125 --> 00:35:45,628
This wasn't right for today.
890
00:35:45,695 --> 00:35:47,730
Sal, everybody knows
you're afraid of cats.
891
00:35:56,071 --> 00:35:58,841
Oh, my...
892
00:35:58,908 --> 00:36:00,776
That's a tiger.
893
00:36:00,843 --> 00:36:03,178
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
894
00:36:03,245 --> 00:36:06,348
I can't do this. Oh, my God.
895
00:36:06,415 --> 00:36:09,485
How did you get the insurance
to sign off on this?
896
00:36:09,552 --> 00:36:10,887
We didn't.
897
00:36:10,953 --> 00:36:13,288
Guys, I don't think it's funny.
I don't want to do it.
898
00:36:13,356 --> 00:36:16,324
Guys, please. Guys, please.
Guys, please.
899
00:36:16,392 --> 00:36:17,793
I don't think it's funny, guys.
900
00:36:19,562 --> 00:36:20,763
Oh. Can't move.
901
00:36:20,830 --> 00:36:23,098
Yeah, that's probably wise
that you don't move.
902
00:36:23,164 --> 00:36:25,535
I've seen so many movies
and so many TV shows...
903
00:36:25,601 --> 00:36:28,069
In one second,
if this tiger wants to kill me,
904
00:36:28,136 --> 00:36:30,071
the tiger's gonna kill me.
905
00:36:31,807 --> 00:36:34,175
Guys, did you think this
through all the way?
906
00:36:34,242 --> 00:36:35,611
- Not really
- Not really, no.
907
00:36:35,678 --> 00:36:37,513
How can you do this to me?
What do I do?
908
00:36:37,580 --> 00:36:39,015
Try to get
out of the room, bud.
909
00:36:39,080 --> 00:36:40,650
There's a door
right in front of you.
910
00:36:44,020 --> 00:36:45,555
- Uh-oh.
- Uh-oh.
911
00:36:45,621 --> 00:36:47,356
Now he's more concerned
about the lock than the tiger.
912
00:36:47,423 --> 00:36:50,459
No, no, no, no, no.
913
00:36:50,526 --> 00:36:51,794
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
914
00:36:51,861 --> 00:36:52,895
Oh, my God!
915
00:36:52,962 --> 00:36:56,866
Guys, I can't make it.
916
00:36:56,933 --> 00:36:58,534
Good, he's brushing
his teeth. Go, go.
917
00:36:58,601 --> 00:37:00,302
- He's brushing his teeth.
- There he goes.
918
00:37:00,369 --> 00:37:01,336
- He's up on the sink.
- Get out of there.
919
00:37:01,404 --> 00:37:03,739
Get out of there, quick.
920
00:37:03,806 --> 00:37:05,775
Look at the poster
in front of your face.
921
00:37:05,841 --> 00:37:08,711
- You think that's funny?
- It's the shit.
922
00:37:08,778 --> 00:37:10,546
Just hang in there, pal.
923
00:37:10,613 --> 00:37:12,314
Guys, I...
924
00:37:13,214 --> 00:37:15,751
don't think this is funny.
925
00:37:15,818 --> 00:37:18,119
- Who's there?
- Just let me in, guys.
926
00:37:18,186 --> 00:37:19,455
- It's not funny.
- Sal, it's super easy.
927
00:37:19,522 --> 00:37:20,590
You just have to say
this sentence.
928
00:37:20,656 --> 00:37:21,991
- Go ahead.
- "Let me in.
929
00:37:22,058 --> 00:37:24,225
I'm a baby bitch boy."
930
00:37:24,292 --> 00:37:25,828
Let me in,
I'm the baby bitch boy.
931
00:37:27,329 --> 00:37:28,864
No, no, that's what Joe
wanted you to say.
932
00:37:28,931 --> 00:37:30,332
I want you to say,
933
00:37:30,399 --> 00:37:33,736
"Murr's funnier, smarter,
and better than me."
934
00:37:33,803 --> 00:37:35,538
Come here, buddy.
Come here, buddy.
935
00:37:51,621 --> 00:37:53,856
Chaplin moustache
will never come back.
936
00:37:53,923 --> 00:37:54,957
- Oh, hey, bud.
- Hey.
937
00:37:55,024 --> 00:37:55,858
Do you know the Wi-Fi password?
938
00:37:55,925 --> 00:37:57,192
Oh, the Wi-Fi?
939
00:37:57,258 --> 00:37:58,461
Sure, you don't have it
in your room?
940
00:37:58,527 --> 00:38:00,396
No, the card's not in there,
so, yeah.
941
00:38:05,835 --> 00:38:07,503
I mean, just search
for Morgan Suites.
942
00:38:07,570 --> 00:38:09,071
The password is "password."
943
00:38:09,137 --> 00:38:10,806
The password is "password"?
That's not very secure.
944
00:38:10,873 --> 00:38:12,541
- No.
- Yeah. Oh, hey.
945
00:38:12,608 --> 00:38:15,210
Oh, hey! It's the Houlihans.
946
00:38:15,276 --> 00:38:17,345
One sec. Hey, Marisa, Chris.
Come on.
947
00:38:17,413 --> 00:38:18,447
- Please, please.
- Murr!
948
00:38:18,514 --> 00:38:20,181
Hey, Marisa, you look gorgeous.
949
00:38:20,248 --> 00:38:21,216
- Yeah.
- And Chris.
950
00:38:21,282 --> 00:38:22,351
Scotch is in the back.
951
00:38:22,418 --> 00:38:23,753
- Take it easy this time.
- Always.
952
00:38:23,819 --> 00:38:24,887
- All right, buddy. Good night.
- All right, man.
953
00:38:24,954 --> 00:38:25,888
You have a good night.
954
00:38:36,032 --> 00:38:37,466
Grover Cleveland
was a Capricorn... Yeah, man?
955
00:38:37,533 --> 00:38:38,768
Are there any caps
on the password?
956
00:38:38,834 --> 00:38:39,802
All caps.
957
00:38:39,869 --> 00:38:41,302
All caps password.
Yeah, thanks.
958
00:39:02,024 --> 00:39:05,260
Uh-huh. I guess I'm late.
959
00:39:05,326 --> 00:39:07,663
What do you want to do?
960
00:39:07,730 --> 00:39:09,330
All right, this looks nice
and cool in the sun.
961
00:39:09,398 --> 00:39:10,366
This is gonna be great.
962
00:39:13,969 --> 00:39:15,905
All right.
963
00:39:15,971 --> 00:39:17,373
Here we go.
964
00:39:17,440 --> 00:39:19,108
Oh, God, I'm gonna die.
965
00:39:20,576 --> 00:39:22,745
Nobody told me your name,
buddy.
966
00:39:22,812 --> 00:39:25,047
So how about we go
with Benjamin Horse?
967
00:39:25,114 --> 00:39:26,816
Yes. All right.
968
00:39:31,120 --> 00:39:32,822
Oh.
969
00:39:32,888 --> 00:39:34,289
Oh, my goodness.
970
00:39:35,825 --> 00:39:39,662
This says we go up one mile
and make a left,
971
00:39:39,729 --> 00:39:43,432
and then we can punch the guys.
972
00:39:43,499 --> 00:39:45,367
I'd like to marry a girl
like you one day.
973
00:39:45,434 --> 00:39:48,236
Pretty. Beautiful blue eyes.
974
00:39:48,303 --> 00:39:50,506
Calm, steady demeanor.
975
00:39:50,573 --> 00:39:54,242
You guys messed up,
because I'm havin' a blast!
976
00:39:54,309 --> 00:39:56,712
This is the best
road trip ever!
977
00:40:03,452 --> 00:40:04,820
Let me ask you this,
978
00:40:04,887 --> 00:40:07,056
When was the last time
you had an E.L. Fudge?
979
00:40:07,123 --> 00:40:08,758
- One week ago.
- Really?
980
00:40:08,824 --> 00:40:10,126
- No exaggeration.
- You're lying.
981
00:40:10,192 --> 00:40:11,894
I swear to God.
982
00:40:11,961 --> 00:40:14,063
Fudge Stripe gets all the shine
over at Keebler.
983
00:40:14,130 --> 00:40:15,498
Fudge Stripe's a better cookie.
984
00:40:15,564 --> 00:40:17,332
I'm talking Keebler,
I'm talking E.L. Fudge.
985
00:40:17,399 --> 00:40:19,168
I'm talking Fudge Stripe,
and then I move on.
986
00:40:19,235 --> 00:40:20,603
I'll give you $1,000/
987
00:40:20,669 --> 00:40:22,371
if any of you can tell me
what E.L. stands for.
988
00:40:23,806 --> 00:40:25,340
I'm blowing your mind
right now.
989
00:40:25,407 --> 00:40:28,778
Everybody loves?
990
00:40:28,844 --> 00:40:32,248
- Shit.
- You carry $1,000 with you?
991
00:40:32,313 --> 00:40:34,884
- I think I see someone.
- Yeah!
992
00:40:34,950 --> 00:40:36,018
Oh, there he is.
993
00:40:36,986 --> 00:40:39,155
Welcome to the party, pal.
994
00:40:39,221 --> 00:40:40,556
Come on, Fatiator.
995
00:40:40,623 --> 00:40:42,825
Once my balls shot directly
up in my body
996
00:40:42,892 --> 00:40:46,327
about a mile back,
I started enjoying it.
997
00:40:46,395 --> 00:40:47,763
- You got it. Be careful, man.
- Whoa!
998
00:40:47,830 --> 00:40:51,233
- Park it over there.
- Okay, okay. All right.
999
00:40:51,299 --> 00:40:52,368
You good?
1000
00:40:57,573 --> 00:40:59,041
You're forever
my horse, baby.
1001
00:41:10,186 --> 00:41:12,221
Murr, how... This idiot.
1002
00:41:12,288 --> 00:41:13,756
- What?
- Look at...
1003
00:41:15,724 --> 00:41:17,760
How does he even sleep
like that?
1004
00:41:17,827 --> 00:41:19,361
Oh, man.
He's got no idea what's coming.
1005
00:41:19,428 --> 00:41:21,597
Oh, I know.
I've already made some calls.
1006
00:41:24,300 --> 00:41:26,268
♪ Get ready, get ready, go ♪
1007
00:41:26,334 --> 00:41:28,470
♪ Forever my girl
Forever my chick ♪
1008
00:41:28,537 --> 00:41:29,705
♪ Together forever, we lit ♪
1009
00:41:29,772 --> 00:41:31,140
♪ Whatever the gift, she cool ♪
1010
00:41:31,207 --> 00:41:32,274
♪ Whatever she get ♪
1011
00:41:32,340 --> 00:41:33,309
♪ Strawberry letters for dick ♪
1012
00:41:33,375 --> 00:41:34,443
♪ I'm bound to sweat ♪
1013
00:41:34,510 --> 00:41:35,945
♪ Got 'em whenever she's sick ♪
1014
00:41:36,011 --> 00:41:38,013
♪ She call me
This medicine quick ♪
1015
00:41:38,080 --> 00:41:39,315
♪ I measured the dick before
I could measure the bitch ♪
1016
00:41:39,381 --> 00:41:40,382
♪ She on the measuring stick ♪
1017
00:41:40,449 --> 00:41:41,917
♪ I'm heavy legit ♪
1018
00:41:41,984 --> 00:41:43,285
♪ Like forever is wrong,
Whatever I do ♪
1019
00:41:43,352 --> 00:41:44,787
♪ You, forever my boo ♪
1020
00:41:44,854 --> 00:41:46,121
♪ And back when
They call me the cat ♪
1021
00:41:46,188 --> 00:41:47,256
♪ I'm like Pepé Le Pew ♪
1022
00:41:47,323 --> 00:41:48,691
♪ Ha ♪
1023
00:41:48,757 --> 00:41:51,393
♪ Staten Island
in the building ♪
1024
00:41:51,460 --> 00:41:52,795
♪ Yeah ♪
1025
00:41:52,862 --> 00:41:54,663
I'm shaking.
1026
00:41:54,730 --> 00:41:56,465
All right, how are you?
1027
00:42:02,371 --> 00:42:03,772
Well, ladies,
this is the birthday boy.
1028
00:42:03,839 --> 00:42:04,907
We're here to celebrate him.
1029
00:42:07,376 --> 00:42:09,078
So let's do this.
1030
00:42:14,016 --> 00:42:15,317
I hold back.
1031
00:42:15,384 --> 00:42:17,586
I get shy at first.
1032
00:42:19,455 --> 00:42:21,624
I guess it is a little.
1033
00:42:21,690 --> 00:42:22,958
It's his birthday, ladies.
1034
00:42:23,025 --> 00:42:24,693
What does this look like
from your vantage?
1035
00:42:28,564 --> 00:42:33,302
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
1036
00:42:33,370 --> 00:42:37,806
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
1037
00:42:37,873 --> 00:42:42,878
♪ Happy birthday, dear Murray ♪
1038
00:42:42,945 --> 00:42:48,317
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
1039
00:42:48,385 --> 00:42:49,752
Are you serious?
1040
00:42:49,818 --> 00:42:51,887
That's Murray's family
behind us.
1041
00:42:51,954 --> 00:42:54,657
That's James' nieces
and nephews.
1042
00:42:54,723 --> 00:42:56,792
- Happy birthday, my friend.
- Oh, my God.
1043
00:42:56,859 --> 00:42:58,794
They're all here!
1044
00:43:05,034 --> 00:43:09,406
Are you kidding me?
Are you kidding me?
1045
00:43:15,711 --> 00:43:17,179
Everybody's
ready to roll.
1046
00:43:19,315 --> 00:43:20,716
James, they're so innocent.
1047
00:43:20,783 --> 00:43:23,353
Are you kidding me?
You flew my whole...
1048
00:43:23,420 --> 00:43:26,088
That's my nieces and nephews.
1049
00:43:26,155 --> 00:43:28,023
It's all fake?
1050
00:43:28,090 --> 00:43:29,426
Happy birthday!
1051
00:43:31,827 --> 00:43:33,262
♪ I'm the joker ♪
1052
00:43:33,329 --> 00:43:35,464
♪ I'm practically nuts ♪
1053
00:43:35,531 --> 00:43:36,765
♪ With my crew ♪
1054
00:43:36,832 --> 00:43:39,768
Huh. The Atlanta Hawks
are hiring.
1055
00:43:41,438 --> 00:43:42,638
Players?
1056
00:43:44,807 --> 00:43:46,409
I feel like they shouldn't
put an ad out for that.
1057
00:43:46,475 --> 00:43:47,943
It's unclear.
1058
00:43:50,312 --> 00:43:51,680
All righty. Here we go.
1059
00:43:53,615 --> 00:43:55,217
♪ Whoa, joker ♪
1060
00:43:58,455 --> 00:43:59,621
- Murr.
- Yep.
1061
00:43:59,688 --> 00:44:00,856
- How you doing, buddy?
- I'm good.
1062
00:44:01,857 --> 00:44:03,393
Here we go. Here we go, guys.
1063
00:44:03,460 --> 00:44:05,527
- Here we go. We're in.
- How are you doing?
1064
00:44:05,594 --> 00:44:06,862
- Hey, I'm James Murray. Nice to meet you.
- Hey, nice to meet you. Joe.
1065
00:44:06,929 --> 00:44:08,330
- How are you?
- Good, good.
1066
00:44:08,398 --> 00:44:09,665
- How are you doing?
- Joe, pleasure. I'm great.
1067
00:44:09,732 --> 00:44:10,833
- Thank you so much.
- Awesome.
1068
00:44:10,899 --> 00:44:12,001
- Well, welcome.
- Thank you.
1069
00:44:12,067 --> 00:44:13,235
So where are you
coming in from?
1070
00:44:13,302 --> 00:44:14,670
Oh, I live here in Atlanta.
1071
00:44:14,737 --> 00:44:16,338
You answer the questions
we ask you.
1072
00:44:16,406 --> 00:44:17,940
So where are you
from originally?
1073
00:44:18,007 --> 00:44:19,908
Where do I see myself
in five years?
1074
00:44:19,975 --> 00:44:22,878
Well, in five years,
I see myself well on track
1075
00:44:22,945 --> 00:44:24,980
to maybe a managerial...
1076
00:44:25,047 --> 00:44:26,215
Okay, great.
1077
00:44:26,281 --> 00:44:28,317
So how'd you hear
about this role in particular?
1078
00:44:28,385 --> 00:44:30,019
Oh.
1079
00:44:30,085 --> 00:44:31,253
Well, what do you feel
your biggest strength is?
1080
00:44:31,320 --> 00:44:32,521
My biggest strengths are...
1081
00:44:33,922 --> 00:44:36,359
I would say confidence,
approachability...
1082
00:44:36,426 --> 00:44:38,027
- Sure.
- I'm easy to talk with.
1083
00:44:38,093 --> 00:44:39,862
Why leave your position
at Georgia State?
1084
00:44:39,928 --> 00:44:41,431
I saw you were there
until March.
1085
00:44:41,498 --> 00:44:43,466
- In full disclosure...
- In full disclosure...
1086
00:44:43,532 --> 00:44:48,505
- I had a child out of wedlock.
- I had a child out of wedlock.
1087
00:44:48,570 --> 00:44:50,806
If that disqualifies me
from the job, I understand.
1088
00:44:50,873 --> 00:44:53,575
If that disqualifies me
from the job, I understand.
1089
00:44:53,642 --> 00:44:56,311
- Nope. Nope. Certainly not.
- Right.
1090
00:44:57,913 --> 00:45:00,015
I put a Polaroid camera.
Just take a quick picture.
1091
00:45:00,716 --> 00:45:01,750
- Cool.
- Right?
1092
00:45:01,817 --> 00:45:03,285
- You got a...
- Yeah.
1093
00:45:04,953 --> 00:45:07,122
- Camera. Nice.
- Yeah.
1094
00:45:07,189 --> 00:45:08,757
Get him to sign it.
Get him to sign it.
1095
00:45:08,824 --> 00:45:10,959
- Well, um...
- Can you autograph?
1096
00:45:11,026 --> 00:45:12,694
- Is that cool?
- Sure, yeah. Yeah, bring it.
1097
00:45:12,761 --> 00:45:14,029
I mean,
you are on the Hawks.
1098
00:45:14,096 --> 00:45:15,532
I mean,
you are on the Hawks, so...
1099
00:45:15,597 --> 00:45:17,166
Yeah, well... Yeah.
1100
00:45:17,232 --> 00:45:19,068
I have to apologize
if I seem a little off.
1101
00:45:19,134 --> 00:45:20,702
I have to apologize,
by the way,
1102
00:45:20,769 --> 00:45:22,405
if I seem a little off
during the interview.
1103
00:45:22,472 --> 00:45:23,605
Aunt Flo's in town.
1104
00:45:23,672 --> 00:45:25,908
Aunt...
1105
00:45:25,974 --> 00:45:27,810
Frick.
1106
00:45:27,876 --> 00:45:29,211
Looks like I'm not
getting the job.
1107
00:45:31,747 --> 00:45:33,450
- Or the party ticket.
- Yeah.
1108
00:45:36,718 --> 00:45:38,120
Look at this, boys.
1109
00:45:38,187 --> 00:45:39,489
This is big-time...
You get this job,
1110
00:45:39,556 --> 00:45:40,889
you're gonna be
big-time, buddy.
1111
00:45:40,956 --> 00:45:42,024
This is a big-time gig
we're infiltrating.
1112
00:45:42,091 --> 00:45:44,159
I'm ready for the big time.
1113
00:45:44,226 --> 00:45:46,095
- Here she comes.
- Hello, hi.
1114
00:45:46,161 --> 00:45:47,930
- How are you?
- How are you? I'm Brian.
1115
00:45:47,996 --> 00:45:50,699
- Hey. Nice to meet you.
- Very nice to meet you.
1116
00:45:50,766 --> 00:45:51,733
Here we go.
1117
00:45:51,800 --> 00:45:53,235
- Oh.
- Here we go, Q.
1118
00:45:53,302 --> 00:45:55,304
You've seen
the job description.
1119
00:45:55,371 --> 00:45:56,839
- I have. Yeah.
- Correct?
1120
00:45:56,905 --> 00:45:59,141
- I got it right here.
- Two words, under qualified.
1121
00:45:59,208 --> 00:46:01,977
Two words, under qualified,
but willing to learn.
1122
00:46:02,044 --> 00:46:04,012
Willing to learn. That's great.
1123
00:46:05,314 --> 00:46:07,950
Can you describe
your style of management?
1124
00:46:08,016 --> 00:46:09,586
- My style of management?
- Mmm-hmm.
1125
00:46:09,651 --> 00:46:10,953
Sure, well,
my nickname's Crab Cake,
1126
00:46:11,019 --> 00:46:12,455
so if that's any indication...
1127
00:46:12,522 --> 00:46:14,857
My nickname... All my, uh...
1128
00:46:14,923 --> 00:46:16,758
All my workers
call me Crab Cakes,
1129
00:46:16,825 --> 00:46:18,260
if that's any indication.
1130
00:46:18,327 --> 00:46:19,462
- Yeah.
- Really?
1131
00:46:19,529 --> 00:46:20,530
- Yeah, Crab Cakes.
- Yeah.
1132
00:46:21,997 --> 00:46:23,699
If the guys want
to call me Crab Cakes,
1133
00:46:23,765 --> 00:46:26,569
hey, call me Crab Cakes.
1134
00:46:26,635 --> 00:46:28,070
- Off topic...
- Off topic...
1135
00:46:28,137 --> 00:46:30,406
Is that stupid mascot
of yours a woodpecker?
1136
00:46:30,473 --> 00:46:31,773
What is that thing?
1137
00:46:31,840 --> 00:46:34,743
Is that...
That stupid mascot you have,
1138
00:46:34,810 --> 00:46:36,446
is that a woodpecker,
what is that thing?
1139
00:46:38,213 --> 00:46:39,781
- I can't even look.
- Oh, my God.
1140
00:46:39,848 --> 00:46:41,950
- I can't even look.
- It's a hawk.
1141
00:46:42,017 --> 00:46:43,252
I don't know
what you call that bird.
1142
00:46:43,318 --> 00:46:44,853
Yeah? Oh, it looks
like a woodpecker.
1143
00:46:49,224 --> 00:46:50,292
Yeah.
1144
00:46:50,360 --> 00:46:51,994
Tell me a little bit
about yourself.
1145
00:46:52,060 --> 00:46:54,296
Will I be pissing in a cup
for a drug test?
1146
00:46:55,063 --> 00:46:57,099
Do you know, is, um...
1147
00:47:02,372 --> 00:47:03,772
He doesn't want to say it.
1148
00:47:03,839 --> 00:47:05,707
Yeah, I really tanked this one.
1149
00:47:05,774 --> 00:47:07,676
There's no way
I'm going to see Abdul.
1150
00:47:07,743 --> 00:47:10,513
There's no way I'm going
to see Paula Abdul.
1151
00:47:13,048 --> 00:47:14,450
Explain the plot of the movie.
1152
00:47:14,517 --> 00:47:15,918
We're four high school friends.
1153
00:47:15,984 --> 00:47:18,454
So we're on a road trip
for redemption
1154
00:47:18,521 --> 00:47:20,989
for an incident that happened
back in 1990,
1155
00:47:21,056 --> 00:47:22,525
like, coming back
to haunt us now.
1156
00:47:22,592 --> 00:47:24,661
And there's only three tickets
to see Abdul,
1157
00:47:24,726 --> 00:47:27,129
and one of us can't go.
1158
00:47:27,196 --> 00:47:29,331
- Rate our movie.
- The movie's 3 1/2 stars.
1159
00:47:29,399 --> 00:47:31,133
The movie's gonna be
3 1/2 stars.
1160
00:47:32,535 --> 00:47:33,969
This interview is bullshit.
1161
00:47:36,872 --> 00:47:38,707
This interview is bullshit.
1162
00:47:41,578 --> 00:47:43,946
Thank you.
1163
00:47:44,012 --> 00:47:45,714
It's total bullshit.
1164
00:47:46,949 --> 00:47:49,718
It's all for a movie.
1165
00:47:51,521 --> 00:47:53,489
Hey, buddy,
everything look cozy?
1166
00:47:53,556 --> 00:47:55,358
Yep.
What's that?
1167
00:47:55,425 --> 00:47:57,192
That's Chase, you met him
at a Big Brother program.
1168
00:47:57,259 --> 00:47:59,061
Then you lost him, and now
he's your guardian angel
1169
00:47:59,127 --> 00:48:01,464
that looks over you
during all the big events,
1170
00:48:01,531 --> 00:48:02,731
including job interviews.
1171
00:48:02,798 --> 00:48:04,132
- Hey.
- Oh, hey, yeah, yeah.
1172
00:48:04,199 --> 00:48:06,335
How are you?
Very random.
1173
00:48:06,402 --> 00:48:09,338
- That's actually Chase.
- Okay. Great.
1174
00:48:09,405 --> 00:48:10,540
He was my Little Brother,
1175
00:48:10,607 --> 00:48:11,641
in the Little Brother,
Big Brother program.
1176
00:48:11,708 --> 00:48:13,008
Okay.
1177
00:48:13,075 --> 00:48:14,410
He's like my guardian angel,
inspiration.
1178
00:48:14,477 --> 00:48:15,944
He's gonna look over
the interview for me.
1179
00:48:16,011 --> 00:48:17,312
- Oh, I think that's great.
- Thank you.
1180
00:48:17,380 --> 00:48:18,947
I was like, did someone
leave anything?
1181
00:48:19,014 --> 00:48:20,015
- Oh, no, what is your name?
- Brandy. Brandy.
1182
00:48:20,082 --> 00:48:21,116
- Brandy.
- Yeah, sorry.
1183
00:48:21,183 --> 00:48:22,585
- Nice to meet you.
- I'm Sal.
1184
00:48:22,652 --> 00:48:23,686
Immediately launch into
why the Earth is flat.
1185
00:48:24,920 --> 00:48:26,021
I like talking to people
1186
00:48:26,088 --> 00:48:27,357
about all different types
of things.
1187
00:48:27,423 --> 00:48:28,757
- Right.
- You know, for example, like,
1188
00:48:28,824 --> 00:48:30,826
no denying it for me that the,
1189
00:48:30,892 --> 00:48:32,595
you know, I believe
the Earth is flat.
1190
00:48:32,662 --> 00:48:34,497
So I like to talk about that.
1191
00:48:34,564 --> 00:48:35,764
Okay. Great.
1192
00:48:37,467 --> 00:48:39,067
How do you feel
about the shape of the Earth?
1193
00:48:39,134 --> 00:48:42,137
What is your opinion
on the shape of the Earth?
1194
00:48:42,204 --> 00:48:43,805
- Um...
- There's the look.
1195
00:48:43,872 --> 00:48:47,710
I mean, I'm pretty literal,
so I'm gonna go with round.
1196
00:48:47,776 --> 00:48:49,177
Yeah, most people
think it's round.
1197
00:48:49,244 --> 00:48:51,146
- Yeah.
- But they'd be wrong.
1198
00:48:53,282 --> 00:48:54,883
They told me to bring
a recommendation,
1199
00:48:54,950 --> 00:48:56,452
- so I brought one.
- They said to bring a rec...
1200
00:48:56,519 --> 00:48:59,722
A recommendation too, and
I also have a recommendation.
1201
00:48:59,788 --> 00:49:01,290
Sal, pull out the iPad there.
1202
00:49:01,357 --> 00:49:02,824
Uh, so here.
1203
00:49:05,827 --> 00:49:07,363
It's Sal's mom, Adele.
1204
00:49:08,964 --> 00:49:12,200
Please hire him.
He'd be a good employee.
1205
00:49:12,267 --> 00:49:14,803
He doesn't steal.
He's a good boy.
1206
00:49:14,870 --> 00:49:17,139
He pays me to clean his house,
1207
00:49:17,205 --> 00:49:18,807
so please, please,
please hire him
1208
00:49:18,874 --> 00:49:20,610
so he can keep paying me.
1209
00:49:22,277 --> 00:49:24,547
Oh, my God.
That's awesome.
1210
00:49:25,715 --> 00:49:27,617
- You good?
- Ah, hell, nah!
1211
00:49:27,684 --> 00:49:30,653
Instead of "Oh, hell, no,"
do the singing version of it.
1212
00:49:30,720 --> 00:49:31,853
♪ Hell, no ♪
1213
00:49:31,920 --> 00:49:34,222
♪ To the no, no, no ♪
1214
00:49:35,891 --> 00:49:38,894
- I'm so sorry.
- It's okay.
1215
00:49:38,960 --> 00:49:40,862
- What are you writing?
- What, what are you...
1216
00:49:40,929 --> 00:49:42,064
What are you writing?
1217
00:49:43,932 --> 00:49:45,535
- My notes.
- Oh, great. Perfect.
1218
00:49:48,003 --> 00:49:49,271
Take notes.
1219
00:49:49,338 --> 00:49:51,273
Yeah, Sal,
take notes on her.
1220
00:49:57,012 --> 00:49:59,915
Sal, just go, "Are there
one T or two in 'pretty'?"
1221
00:50:02,618 --> 00:50:04,252
Ah, done!
1222
00:50:04,319 --> 00:50:07,490
- Done, boys.
- Well done.
1223
00:50:08,924 --> 00:50:11,427
Okay, so this is my outfit.
1224
00:50:11,494 --> 00:50:14,697
Yeah, Joey in a breakaway
basketball warmup suit.
1225
00:50:14,764 --> 00:50:15,997
So as soon as the person
comes in,
1226
00:50:16,064 --> 00:50:18,066
you just get ready
for game time.
1227
00:50:20,235 --> 00:50:21,738
- Hey, how are you?
- Good. How are you?
1228
00:50:21,804 --> 00:50:23,205
- Big hug.
- Nice to see you.
1229
00:50:23,271 --> 00:50:25,073
- Emily. Nice to meet you.
- It's nice to meet you.
1230
00:50:25,140 --> 00:50:27,242
- Yeah, I'm ready to do this.
- Oh, here you go.
1231
00:50:27,309 --> 00:50:29,445
- That's amazing.
- Right?
1232
00:50:29,512 --> 00:50:30,546
That is awesome.
1233
00:50:32,382 --> 00:50:33,882
So nice to meet you.
I'm Emily.
1234
00:50:33,949 --> 00:50:35,317
I'm the building
security manager.
1235
00:50:35,385 --> 00:50:36,819
- Building security manager?
- Yes, sir, so...
1236
00:50:36,885 --> 00:50:37,820
And what was your name again?
I'm sorry.
1237
00:50:37,886 --> 00:50:39,522
Emily. Yes, sir.
1238
00:50:39,589 --> 00:50:41,591
I'm gonna let you get started
other than that amazing intro.
1239
00:50:41,657 --> 00:50:43,258
- Oh, thank you.
- Joe, where are you from?
1240
00:50:43,325 --> 00:50:44,627
Tell me a little bit
about yourself.
1241
00:50:44,694 --> 00:50:45,862
Nah, nah.
1242
00:50:45,927 --> 00:50:47,929
Nah, I didn't want to...
1243
00:50:47,996 --> 00:50:49,297
I didn't really want
to get into that.
1244
00:50:51,066 --> 00:50:52,869
What's that?
Which part.
1245
00:50:52,934 --> 00:50:55,070
My past.
My shadowy past.
1246
00:50:55,137 --> 00:50:57,440
My shadowy past.
I didn't really want to start...
1247
00:50:59,207 --> 00:51:00,777
Keep saying "off the record."
1248
00:51:00,843 --> 00:51:02,177
- Off the record...
- Mmm-hmm.
1249
00:51:02,244 --> 00:51:04,414
I negotiated prices
for, like, bulk supplies.
1250
00:51:04,480 --> 00:51:06,047
- Mmm-hmm.
- I would let them in
1251
00:51:06,114 --> 00:51:07,583
on the, to the side.
1252
00:51:07,650 --> 00:51:09,452
Joe, she's writing this down.
It's off the record.
1253
00:51:09,519 --> 00:51:11,219
Yeah,
but this is all off the...
1254
00:51:11,286 --> 00:51:12,889
- This is all off the record.
- No, no, you're fine.
1255
00:51:12,954 --> 00:51:14,022
I'm just talking about your
extension of knowledge with...
1256
00:51:14,089 --> 00:51:15,458
Got it, got it.
1257
00:51:15,525 --> 00:51:16,893
Um, what else can I tell you
off the record?
1258
00:51:16,958 --> 00:51:18,694
Joe, have a roving finger.
1259
00:51:18,761 --> 00:51:20,596
There was one time
when a whole crew was in here,
1260
00:51:20,663 --> 00:51:22,398
and they had to actually be on
the other side of the campus,
1261
00:51:22,465 --> 00:51:24,367
but the middle was closed,
so I couldn't get them through.
1262
00:51:24,434 --> 00:51:25,934
We had to actually
go around the whole thing.
1263
00:51:26,001 --> 00:51:27,169
- But off the record.
- Off the record, Monica.
1264
00:51:27,235 --> 00:51:28,069
Off the record,
we went through
1265
00:51:28,136 --> 00:51:29,372
the closed road, Monica.
1266
00:51:29,439 --> 00:51:31,006
Here comes
the moving finger.
1267
00:51:31,072 --> 00:51:32,240
And, you know, there was
a lot of teams up here,
1268
00:51:32,307 --> 00:51:33,376
and then
we brought it down south.
1269
00:51:33,443 --> 00:51:35,110
You know,
you connect everybody,
1270
00:51:35,177 --> 00:51:37,112
and they all have their
own conferences and stuff,
1271
00:51:37,179 --> 00:51:38,781
but, uh, I have stopped...
1272
00:51:38,848 --> 00:51:41,149
Excuse yourself for one quick
moment to go to the bathroom
1273
00:51:41,216 --> 00:51:43,018
and then go downstairs
and play basketball.
1274
00:51:43,084 --> 00:51:45,320
Um, I need to use
the restroom real quick.
1275
00:51:45,388 --> 00:51:46,756
- I'm sorry.
- Yeah, sure, no worries.
1276
00:51:46,823 --> 00:51:48,491
- I'll be right back.
- Yeah.
1277
00:51:49,492 --> 00:51:50,593
I'll be right back.
I'm sorry.
1278
00:51:50,660 --> 00:51:52,260
- Yeah, okay.
- Thanks.
1279
00:51:53,729 --> 00:51:56,399
Look at her face!
1280
00:52:02,003 --> 00:52:04,139
- This is gonna be amazing.
- Her face is...
1281
00:52:16,151 --> 00:52:17,386
Almost.
1282
00:52:17,453 --> 00:52:19,689
Joey, uh, security
really sucks around here.
1283
00:52:21,424 --> 00:52:23,459
- You good?
- Yeah, security really sucks.
1284
00:52:23,526 --> 00:52:25,561
I was able just to go down
there and shoot hoops.
1285
00:52:32,133 --> 00:52:34,102
- Yeah.
- So security's an issue.
1286
00:52:34,637 --> 00:52:35,538
Yeah.
1287
00:52:35,605 --> 00:52:37,773
Security's an issue.
1288
00:52:37,840 --> 00:52:40,710
All right, well, do you have
any further questions for me?
1289
00:52:40,776 --> 00:52:43,278
Tell her you'll be in touch
and she did great.
1290
00:52:43,345 --> 00:52:44,514
And, uh, that's it.
Yeah, thank you so much.
1291
00:52:44,580 --> 00:52:47,249
You did great.
We'll be in touch.
1292
00:52:47,315 --> 00:52:48,651
I'll get Jakim to, uh...
1293
00:52:48,718 --> 00:52:51,086
Hey, appreciate it.
Yeah, we'll let you know.
1294
00:52:52,455 --> 00:52:53,923
Possibly.
Maybe we'll hire her.
1295
00:52:55,791 --> 00:52:56,926
Maybe we'll hire her.
1296
00:52:56,993 --> 00:52:57,860
I'm not sure
if we'll hire her.
1297
00:53:04,099 --> 00:53:05,601
- A left right here?
- Go.
1298
00:53:05,668 --> 00:53:07,603
Yeah, baby, yeah!
1299
00:53:07,670 --> 00:53:10,071
Disgusting loading dock.
Nice, guys.
1300
00:53:14,410 --> 00:53:16,379
Now do you want to tell me
why we're here?
1301
00:53:16,445 --> 00:53:17,747
We're just gonna pop into
1302
00:53:17,813 --> 00:53:19,214
this social media convention
real quick.
1303
00:53:19,281 --> 00:53:21,349
- Uh-huh.
- Here's your credentials.
1304
00:53:21,417 --> 00:53:22,952
We're having fun with you today
at your expense.
1305
00:53:23,019 --> 00:53:25,421
Hey, bud, uh, you're, uh...
You're on in ten minutes.
1306
00:53:26,722 --> 00:53:28,824
You're terrible
at social networking, so...
1307
00:53:32,728 --> 00:53:33,829
Give it up one more time
1308
00:53:33,896 --> 00:53:35,565
for your When Brands
Take a Stand panel.
1309
00:53:37,967 --> 00:53:39,802
So we are at
the Social Shake-Up,
1310
00:53:39,869 --> 00:53:43,238
which is a tremendous
social media conference here,
1311
00:53:43,305 --> 00:53:45,575
and Q is about to go up
and give a presentation.
1312
00:53:45,641 --> 00:53:47,208
- Yeah.
- We wrote the presentation.
1313
00:53:47,275 --> 00:53:49,144
He's never seen a single
one of these slides.
1314
00:53:49,210 --> 00:53:50,580
There's 600 people here,
1315
00:53:50,646 --> 00:53:52,548
which is a little more
than we usually have.
1316
00:53:52,615 --> 00:53:53,783
A little more?
1317
00:53:53,849 --> 00:53:57,587
We do have a last-minute
addition to the roster.
1318
00:53:57,653 --> 00:54:00,356
We have a new speaker
coming up.
1319
00:54:00,423 --> 00:54:02,257
We have been trying
to do this for years.
1320
00:54:02,324 --> 00:54:05,494
Please welcome to the stage
Peter Foaks.
1321
00:54:07,029 --> 00:54:08,129
Peter Foaks.
1322
00:54:12,902 --> 00:54:14,302
Good morning, everybody.
1323
00:54:14,370 --> 00:54:16,204
Very excited to be here.
Thank you for having me.
1324
00:54:16,271 --> 00:54:17,473
My name is Peter Foaks.
1325
00:54:17,540 --> 00:54:19,041
They brought me here
'cause I'm...
1326
00:54:19,140 --> 00:54:21,477
really been doing well
as a social media influencer,
1327
00:54:21,544 --> 00:54:24,245
so why don't we get started.
1328
00:54:24,312 --> 00:54:27,182
How to Become
a Social Media Influencer,
1329
00:54:27,248 --> 00:54:30,218
or as my dad calls it,
"not have a real job."
1330
00:54:32,120 --> 00:54:34,457
So here we go.
1331
00:54:34,523 --> 00:54:36,692
His world after this
is gonna change.
1332
00:54:36,759 --> 00:54:38,961
We may not be friends
after this moment.
1333
00:54:39,028 --> 00:54:40,563
I recently interviewed
1334
00:54:40,630 --> 00:54:42,465
social media influencer
Franz Goldberg.
1335
00:54:42,531 --> 00:54:44,600
Do you guys know who that is?
1336
00:54:44,667 --> 00:54:46,469
Ah, you're gonna love this.
Okay.
1337
00:54:46,535 --> 00:54:48,203
Hi, my name
is Franz Goldberg,
1338
00:54:48,269 --> 00:54:50,539
and I'm what you would call
a social media influencer.
1339
00:54:50,606 --> 00:54:52,708
My major platform is YouTube.
1340
00:54:52,775 --> 00:54:54,510
Advertisers want to...
1341
00:54:54,577 --> 00:54:56,812
...and I can provide them...
1342
00:54:56,879 --> 00:54:58,948
It's interrupting.
1343
00:55:02,183 --> 00:55:04,053
Did somebody call a plumber?
1344
00:55:04,120 --> 00:55:07,188
Yes.
I need my pipes cleaned.
1345
00:55:10,493 --> 00:55:12,227
That's Q's parents!
1346
00:55:12,293 --> 00:55:13,696
That's Q's real parents.
1347
00:55:13,763 --> 00:55:17,033
- I can help with that.
- Oh, goody.
1348
00:55:17,099 --> 00:55:18,067
Come this way.
1349
00:55:18,134 --> 00:55:19,167
Oh, yeah.
1350
00:55:19,234 --> 00:55:20,936
Good pipes.
Oh.
1351
00:55:21,003 --> 00:55:22,938
Oh, yes.
1352
00:55:23,005 --> 00:55:25,340
...place them
at the end of my video.
1353
00:55:25,408 --> 00:55:27,710
I like to place them inside...
1354
00:55:33,983 --> 00:55:37,019
I must have recorded
over an old tape on that one.
1355
00:55:40,156 --> 00:55:41,724
Also, um...
1356
00:55:41,791 --> 00:55:44,894
you probably shouldn't use
tapes in the modern era,
1357
00:55:44,960 --> 00:55:47,096
'cause of accidents like that.
1358
00:55:47,163 --> 00:55:49,432
You know, digital...
digital...
1359
00:55:49,498 --> 00:55:51,701
I would say digital
is the way to go.
1360
00:55:51,767 --> 00:55:54,070
He can't even speak.
1361
00:55:54,136 --> 00:55:56,304
His mind is blown.
1362
00:55:56,372 --> 00:56:00,710
Okay, well, look,
identify the major brands
1363
00:56:01,977 --> 00:56:03,679
that fit with your brands.
1364
00:56:03,746 --> 00:56:06,382
You know, stay on brand
is basically what I'm saying.
1365
00:56:06,449 --> 00:56:08,584
Uh, oh, no.
1366
00:56:10,086 --> 00:56:12,621
Oh, I hope this one doesn't
get interrupted, buddy.
1367
00:56:12,688 --> 00:56:14,824
Well, why don't
we give a listen
1368
00:56:14,890 --> 00:56:17,927
to what Franz Goldberg
has to say about brands.
1369
00:56:17,993 --> 00:56:19,395
Oh.
1370
00:56:19,462 --> 00:56:20,763
You think they would have
just brought Franz here,
1371
00:56:20,830 --> 00:56:23,399
but no, we got tape.
1372
00:56:23,466 --> 00:56:25,101
My audience likes
that I'm real.
1373
00:56:25,167 --> 00:56:27,670
- They don't want to be fed...
- It's just gonna go right...
1374
00:56:27,737 --> 00:56:30,039
Oh, this is funny.
There... There's Dad.
1375
00:56:31,239 --> 00:56:33,676
Well, hello there.
1376
00:56:33,743 --> 00:56:36,145
May I help you?
1377
00:56:36,212 --> 00:56:38,114
I'm here to plant some seed.
1378
00:56:39,749 --> 00:56:42,317
He's a gardener.
You can tell by his hat.
1379
00:56:42,384 --> 00:56:44,887
Let me show you
where you can plant it.
1380
00:56:44,954 --> 00:56:47,056
Yes, come on.
1381
00:56:47,123 --> 00:56:48,858
That bush needs trimming.
1382
00:56:52,628 --> 00:56:54,363
My dad had
a lot of side jobs.
1383
00:56:54,430 --> 00:56:57,298
- So did your mom.
- So did your mom, apparently.
1384
00:56:58,266 --> 00:56:59,969
So did my mom, apparently.
1385
00:57:02,505 --> 00:57:03,939
Are there any questions?
1386
00:57:05,708 --> 00:57:06,909
No?
No questions.
1387
00:57:06,976 --> 00:57:08,410
I-I didn't think so.
1388
00:57:08,477 --> 00:57:10,479
All right, well, I have
a few questions myself.
1389
00:57:12,815 --> 00:57:14,116
- Thank you.
- Well done, buddy.
1390
00:57:14,183 --> 00:57:15,518
Well done.
1391
00:57:15,584 --> 00:57:17,486
- Come on, come on, come on.
- Bring it in.
1392
00:57:17,553 --> 00:57:20,389
Hey, Brian.
Dad's on his way.
1393
00:57:20,456 --> 00:57:22,525
- How did it go?
- How did it go?
1394
00:57:22,591 --> 00:57:24,160
- Brian.
- Yeah.
1395
00:57:24,226 --> 00:57:26,762
I didn't know who was
gonna be more embarrassed.
1396
00:57:26,829 --> 00:57:28,430
- You or us.
- Well, I'll tell you what.
1397
00:57:28,497 --> 00:57:30,065
It didn't look like
you guys were embarrassed.
1398
00:57:30,132 --> 00:57:32,034
Hey, Mr. and Mrs. Quinn,
I'll be by next week
1399
00:57:32,101 --> 00:57:33,135
to film the sequel, okay?
1400
00:57:33,202 --> 00:57:34,703
All right, get out of here.
1401
00:57:34,770 --> 00:57:37,305
Don't answer the phone
when they call anymore, okay?
1402
00:57:37,373 --> 00:57:38,641
All right, love you, Ma.
I love you, Dad.
1403
00:57:38,707 --> 00:57:40,009
I'll talk to you guys
in a little bit.
1404
00:57:46,515 --> 00:57:49,151
All right, here it is.
1405
00:57:49,218 --> 00:57:50,886
Oh, yeah.
1406
00:57:50,953 --> 00:57:52,855
- There's an event going on.
- What is it?
1407
00:57:52,922 --> 00:57:55,024
- Right now, what is it?
- Okay.
1408
00:57:55,090 --> 00:57:57,660
- Sally, one of your closest friends is in town tonight.
- Yeah.
1409
00:57:57,726 --> 00:57:59,094
Jaden Smith has
a movie premiere.
1410
00:57:59,161 --> 00:58:00,896
Stop it.
1411
00:58:00,963 --> 00:58:02,832
All right, Sal, so now
you're Jaden's number one fan,
1412
00:58:02,898 --> 00:58:04,433
and all you gotta do
is just walk around
1413
00:58:04,500 --> 00:58:05,568
and let people know it.
1414
00:58:05,634 --> 00:58:07,903
All right, where's our boy?
1415
00:58:07,970 --> 00:58:09,138
I feel like an idiot.
1416
00:58:09,205 --> 00:58:11,407
Let me see
that tattoo, buddy.
1417
00:58:11,473 --> 00:58:12,842
Hi, can I take a picture
of your tattoo?
1418
00:58:12,908 --> 00:58:14,710
- Yeah, yeah, sure, sure.
- Nice shorts.
1419
00:58:14,777 --> 00:58:17,313
- I'm just his number one fan.
- Honestly, I see it.
1420
00:58:17,379 --> 00:58:18,948
I really see it.
1421
00:58:19,014 --> 00:58:21,050
Guys, now do you see
what I had envisioned
1422
00:58:21,116 --> 00:58:22,585
so many seasons ago?
1423
00:58:22,651 --> 00:58:23,819
All right, Sal, you're up.
1424
00:58:23,886 --> 00:58:25,120
Three, two, one.
1425
00:58:31,260 --> 00:58:32,428
Look!
1426
00:58:32,494 --> 00:58:34,263
Jaden Smith, number one fan.
1427
00:58:34,330 --> 00:58:36,198
I'm his number one fan.
1428
00:58:36,265 --> 00:58:38,133
Act like
his number one fan, buddy!
1429
00:58:38,200 --> 00:58:39,435
I'm his number one fan.
1430
00:58:39,501 --> 00:58:40,669
You think
you're Jaden's number one fan?
1431
00:58:40,736 --> 00:58:42,137
- Yeah, I do.
- You got this shirt?
1432
00:58:42,204 --> 00:58:43,606
- I wish I had the shirt.
- You got the tat, though?
1433
00:58:43,672 --> 00:58:45,074
- Let's do, oh.
- Come on.
1434
00:58:46,976 --> 00:58:49,411
- You know Jaden's blood type?
- There you go.
1435
00:58:49,478 --> 00:58:51,313
- Wrong!
- What is it?
1436
00:58:51,380 --> 00:58:52,615
- A-negative.
- Yeah, right.
1437
00:58:52,681 --> 00:58:53,949
Yeah, it is.
1438
00:58:54,016 --> 00:58:56,252
Sal, I need a little bit
more crazy eyes.
1439
00:58:58,854 --> 00:59:00,689
- Has anybody seen him?
- Can I see your tattoo?
1440
00:59:00,756 --> 00:59:02,191
I gotta meet him.
I gotta meet him.
1441
00:59:02,258 --> 00:59:03,759
Yo, pal, do you know
when the Q&A is with Jaden?
1442
00:59:03,826 --> 00:59:05,327
Do you know when the Q&A is?
1443
00:59:06,729 --> 00:59:08,264
It's just wait and hold.
1444
00:59:08,330 --> 00:59:09,665
Wait and hold?
1445
00:59:09,732 --> 00:59:11,033
- Do you know where Jaden is?
- What?
1446
00:59:11,100 --> 00:59:12,534
- Do you know where Jaden is?
- I don't.
1447
00:59:12,601 --> 00:59:13,502
- I'm so sorry.
- You're no help to me.
1448
00:59:16,071 --> 00:59:19,108
Jaden's movie has now ended,
and there's a Q&A afterward.
1449
00:59:19,174 --> 00:59:21,210
- This is awesome.
- There he is.
1450
00:59:21,277 --> 00:59:23,579
There's Jaden.
1451
00:59:23,646 --> 00:59:26,348
Before we do that,
I just wanted to start off...
1452
00:59:26,415 --> 00:59:29,018
Um...
1453
00:59:29,084 --> 00:59:30,019
Hop up, Sal.
1454
00:59:31,388 --> 00:59:32,988
So I have
a million questions,
1455
00:59:33,055 --> 00:59:35,358
but do we have some questions
out here from the audience?
1456
00:59:35,424 --> 00:59:36,625
Come on, buddy.
Get into it.
1457
00:59:36,692 --> 00:59:38,395
- Oh! Oh!
- Do we have a really good one?
1458
00:59:38,460 --> 00:59:39,628
So we have a question
right over here.
1459
00:59:39,695 --> 00:59:41,797
Oh, yes!
Yes!
1460
00:59:42,331 --> 00:59:43,499
Whoo!
1461
00:59:45,701 --> 00:59:47,536
I'm just the number one
Jaden Smith fan.
1462
00:59:47,603 --> 00:59:50,039
I'm just Jaden's
number one fan.
1463
00:59:50,105 --> 00:59:51,040
Can we hug?
1464
00:59:51,106 --> 00:59:52,675
Why don't you just
come on up here?
1465
00:59:52,741 --> 00:59:53,909
Can I .really?
Oh, thank you guys so much!@
1466
00:59:53,976 --> 00:59:55,744
- Would you guys mind?
- Come on up!
1467
00:59:55,811 --> 00:59:57,313
- Thank you, thank you.
- What Sal doesn't know
1468
00:59:57,380 --> 00:59:59,281
is that Jaden is in cahoots
with us this whole time
1469
00:59:59,348 --> 01:00:01,351
- Yes.
- Oh, look at those shorts.
1470
01:00:01,418 --> 01:00:05,187
Wow, wow.
Come on over.
1471
01:00:05,254 --> 01:00:07,156
Come on over.
Wow.
1472
01:00:07,222 --> 01:00:08,924
Thanks for coming out.
1473
01:00:08,991 --> 01:00:10,893
Oh, cool.
This is very cool.
1474
01:00:10,960 --> 01:00:14,029
Thank you so much.
Ah, bam!
1475
01:00:14,096 --> 01:00:15,597
Wow.
1476
01:00:15,664 --> 01:00:17,533
Are you serious?
1477
01:00:17,599 --> 01:00:19,369
- That is...
- Oh, my God, ah!
1478
01:00:19,436 --> 01:00:21,270
- Are you serious?
- Ah!
1479
01:00:21,337 --> 01:00:22,871
Are you serious?
1480
01:00:22,938 --> 01:00:24,441
I got this a few years ago.
1481
01:00:24,506 --> 01:00:25,874
Been waiting to show it to you.
1482
01:00:25,941 --> 01:00:27,843
I just feel like
I look a lot different.
1483
01:00:27,910 --> 01:00:29,979
Maybe we could
get it, like, redone.
1484
01:00:30,045 --> 01:00:32,281
Sal, just say, "Well, I do
have this other thigh."
1485
01:00:32,348 --> 01:00:34,717
Revamped. Something.
1486
01:00:34,783 --> 01:00:35,684
- There you go, Sal.
- Just 'cause it's old.
1487
01:00:35,751 --> 01:00:37,086
It's just old.
1488
01:00:37,152 --> 01:00:40,022
You know, I feel like
if it was newer...
1489
01:00:40,923 --> 01:00:41,690
I...
1490
01:00:41,757 --> 01:00:43,258
I do have this other thigh.
1491
01:00:43,325 --> 01:00:44,860
I could get an updated one...
1492
01:00:47,397 --> 01:00:49,598
You need anything, buddy?
1493
01:00:50,799 --> 01:00:53,535
- I'm good, I guess.
- Not you.
1494
01:00:53,602 --> 01:00:55,604
Yes, I'm fine, Joe.
Thank you.
1495
01:00:58,073 --> 01:00:59,608
That's it,
I think we're done.
1496
01:00:59,675 --> 01:01:00,876
Yeah!
1497
01:01:00,943 --> 01:01:03,512
We did it!
We did it!
1498
01:01:03,579 --> 01:01:05,647
- Oh!
- Oh, I gotta see this!
1499
01:01:05,714 --> 01:01:06,682
Are you ready
to meet yourself?
1500
01:01:06,749 --> 01:01:09,419
- Hold on.
- Three, two, one!
1501
01:01:09,486 --> 01:01:12,788
Oh, my God!
1502
01:01:14,189 --> 01:01:15,358
Whoa!
1503
01:01:15,425 --> 01:01:17,126
That might be the best
tattoo I've ever seen.
1504
01:01:17,192 --> 01:01:19,294
This is definitely better
than the last one.
1505
01:01:20,929 --> 01:01:22,998
My guy.
My guy.
1506
01:01:23,065 --> 01:01:25,167
Jaden, we'll see you
in five years?
1507
01:01:25,234 --> 01:01:27,437
Oh, yeah.
1508
01:01:27,504 --> 01:01:28,937
Hopefully before then.
1509
01:01:41,683 --> 01:01:43,919
I know.
It's just like Ibiza.
1510
01:01:43,986 --> 01:01:45,220
Hey, bud.
What's up?
1511
01:01:47,256 --> 01:01:48,824
Is that the Molly?
1512
01:01:48,891 --> 01:01:50,759
It's not the Molly.
1513
01:01:50,826 --> 01:01:52,261
DJ, bring down the beat.
1514
01:01:53,629 --> 01:01:56,098
Uh, what is this shit?
1515
01:01:56,165 --> 01:01:57,266
What's that, bud?
1516
01:01:58,667 --> 01:02:00,869
Hey, hey, hey!
Here we go!
1517
01:02:00,936 --> 01:02:02,838
Now it's a party!
Later, Q.
1518
01:02:03,473 --> 01:02:04,807
Okay.
1519
01:02:04,873 --> 01:02:06,141
Yep, all right.
1520
01:02:06,208 --> 01:02:07,709
So that's what
he does at night, okay.
1521
01:02:34,537 --> 01:02:36,004
Good boy.
1522
01:02:36,071 --> 01:02:38,374
Did you get the toys I sent?
1523
01:02:39,241 --> 01:02:40,242
Okay.
1524
01:02:40,309 --> 01:02:41,910
Oh, oh, Benjamin?
1525
01:02:41,977 --> 01:02:44,780
Okay, don't,
don't hang up, don't hang up!
1526
01:02:47,417 --> 01:02:48,551
He hung up.
1527
01:02:48,617 --> 01:02:50,587
Well, Brian Quinn
misses his cats.
1528
01:02:50,652 --> 01:02:52,054
Your cats.
I miss my family.
1529
01:02:52,121 --> 01:02:53,689
You know my daughter McKayla?
1530
01:02:53,755 --> 01:02:54,890
She rode her bike
for the first time yesterday.
1531
01:02:54,957 --> 01:02:56,325
- Hmm.
- Wasn't there.
1532
01:02:58,861 --> 01:03:01,063
- Milana?
- Who's that?
1533
01:03:01,130 --> 01:03:03,566
Your daughter.
1534
01:03:03,632 --> 01:03:04,933
Her name's Milana.
1535
01:03:06,369 --> 01:03:07,870
Sweet Jesus.
How long have we been gone?
1536
01:03:07,936 --> 01:03:10,072
- Three days.
- What are we doing?
1537
01:03:10,139 --> 01:03:11,807
All right,
we're four grown men.
1538
01:03:11,874 --> 01:03:13,342
We're out here jacking around,
1539
01:03:13,409 --> 01:03:14,943
trying to fix a mistake
we made when we were kids.
1540
01:03:15,010 --> 01:03:17,146
- It's stupid.
- Yeah, you know what?
1541
01:03:17,212 --> 01:03:19,081
Maybe we didn't think
this one all the way through.
1542
01:03:19,148 --> 01:03:21,016
I've been getting
phone numbers, girls.
1543
01:03:21,083 --> 01:03:22,818
Local girls
that want to meet me.
1544
01:03:22,885 --> 01:03:23,785
But if you guys want to leave
and go home,
1545
01:03:23,852 --> 01:03:24,920
I'm ready to go now.
1546
01:03:24,987 --> 01:03:26,889
- Yeah, yeah, me too.
- I'll go.
1547
01:03:26,955 --> 01:03:28,290
Yeah, I gotta get back to
what's-her-face, come on.
1548
01:03:28,358 --> 01:03:30,460
- All right.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
1549
01:03:30,527 --> 01:03:31,594
We're almost there.
1550
01:03:31,660 --> 01:03:33,463
Sal, come on.
Going home, bud.
1551
01:03:33,530 --> 01:03:34,464
- Come on, bud.
- No!
1552
01:03:35,931 --> 01:03:38,200
We're not going anywhere!
1553
01:03:38,267 --> 01:03:40,035
Sal, what are you doing?
1554
01:03:41,970 --> 01:03:43,506
We're gonna finish
what we started.
1555
01:03:43,573 --> 01:03:45,140
He's gone loco.
1556
01:03:45,207 --> 01:03:48,611
I didn't come here all this
way to turn around, to quit!
1557
01:03:48,677 --> 01:03:50,946
I'm not gonna go back home to
Staten Island so they can say,
1558
01:03:51,013 --> 01:03:53,383
"You know that great guy,
Sal Vulcano
1559
01:03:53,449 --> 01:03:56,018
and his friends that he has,
they turned around.
1560
01:03:56,084 --> 01:04:00,022
They went all the way down
to Georgia."
1561
01:04:01,357 --> 01:04:02,458
Not today, babies!
1562
01:04:05,093 --> 01:04:07,296
- Oh.
- I did it.
1563
01:04:08,964 --> 01:04:10,732
Shut the fuck up.
1564
01:04:10,799 --> 01:04:12,100
It's fine, all right?
We'll stay.
1565
01:04:12,167 --> 01:04:13,902
We'll keep going.
Whatever you need, buddy.
1566
01:04:13,969 --> 01:04:15,572
We were just tired,
got a little homesick.
1567
01:04:15,638 --> 01:04:17,373
Yeah.
Put the board down.
1568
01:04:19,074 --> 01:04:21,343
Okay, great, 'cause as long
as we come to an agreement,
1569
01:04:21,411 --> 01:04:22,778
'cause I just want
to see Abdul.
1570
01:04:22,844 --> 01:04:24,346
- Communicate.
- Thank you guys.
1571
01:04:24,414 --> 01:04:25,714
All you had to do is say
let's keep going, we'll go.
1572
01:04:25,781 --> 01:04:27,282
- I get emotional.
- We'll do it.
1573
01:04:27,349 --> 01:04:29,419
You weren't really gonna
hit us with that, were you?
1574
01:04:29,485 --> 01:04:30,653
For me, it's unclear.
1575
01:04:38,093 --> 01:04:40,463
I think this car breaks down
on the side of most roads,
1576
01:04:40,530 --> 01:04:41,997
people are gonna stop and help.
1577
01:04:42,064 --> 01:04:43,566
- I agree.
- Yeah, I think so.
1578
01:04:43,633 --> 01:04:45,167
I think they will
stop to help,
1579
01:04:45,234 --> 01:04:47,470
but the question is, how long
will they stick around?
1580
01:04:47,537 --> 01:04:50,406
- Until, until it gets weird.
- Until it gets weird.
1581
01:04:50,473 --> 01:04:52,307
How weird should we make it,
is the real question.
1582
01:04:52,375 --> 01:04:54,943
- Guys, did we just make plans?
- I think we did.
1583
01:04:55,010 --> 01:04:56,745
Pull over.
1584
01:04:56,812 --> 01:04:58,880
- We got some work to do.
- You got it.
1585
01:05:01,049 --> 01:05:02,851
Park it right here.
Let's do it.
1586
01:05:07,490 --> 01:05:09,258
- All right, here we go.
- Here we go.
1587
01:05:09,324 --> 01:05:10,959
Sal, you broke down,
unfortunately, buddy.
1588
01:05:11,026 --> 01:05:12,595
Your object is to get people
to stop you to help you.
1589
01:05:12,662 --> 01:05:14,997
Otherwise you're gonna be
standing down on the grass
1590
01:05:15,063 --> 01:05:17,367
next to a car
getting bit by mosquitoes.
1591
01:05:17,433 --> 01:05:19,868
All right, well,
the quickest way to do this
1592
01:05:19,935 --> 01:05:21,404
is to just
make them stop, right?
1593
01:05:21,471 --> 01:05:23,673
I'm proud of you, buddy.
You're taking some initiative.
1594
01:05:23,740 --> 01:05:25,240
Whoo!
1595
01:05:26,141 --> 01:05:28,810
She's, uh, she's dead.
1596
01:05:28,877 --> 01:05:30,345
Whoo.
1597
01:05:30,413 --> 01:05:33,081
She went down
a couple miles back.
1598
01:05:36,653 --> 01:05:38,120
Hey, how you doing, man?
1599
01:05:38,186 --> 01:05:40,922
It's two guys, and I think
they might want to kill me.
1600
01:05:40,989 --> 01:05:42,190
Here we go.
1601
01:05:42,257 --> 01:05:43,992
Can't do no harm, no foul.
Bill.
1602
01:05:44,059 --> 01:05:45,361
Hey, how you doing, Bill?
Sal.
1603
01:05:45,428 --> 01:05:47,029
Yeah, my name's Sal.
1604
01:05:47,095 --> 01:05:48,464
- What's your name?
- Mark.
1605
01:05:48,531 --> 01:05:49,931
Usually when something
goes wrong,
1606
01:05:49,998 --> 01:05:51,300
I just blast something
up the tailpipe.
1607
01:05:54,102 --> 01:05:55,270
Usually something goes wrong,
I just
1608
01:05:55,337 --> 01:05:56,773
blast something
up the tailpipe.
1609
01:05:56,838 --> 01:05:58,273
Up the tailpipe?
1610
01:05:58,340 --> 01:06:00,008
Well, I mean,
first rule of thumb, right?
1611
01:06:00,075 --> 01:06:01,310
You get broke down,
you gotta blast something
1612
01:06:01,377 --> 01:06:02,844
right up the tailpipe,
and I was gonna
1613
01:06:02,911 --> 01:06:04,112
blast something,
but I don't have nothing.
1614
01:06:04,179 --> 01:06:05,481
That's what I thought you did.
1615
01:06:05,548 --> 01:06:06,783
- No, no.
- No.
1616
01:06:09,151 --> 01:06:11,086
Guys, why isn't
this fixed yet?
1617
01:06:11,153 --> 01:06:13,690
Yeah, Sal...
1618
01:06:13,756 --> 01:06:15,190
I don't know,
I don't even...
1619
01:06:15,257 --> 01:06:16,526
I wish I knew more
about the thing.
1620
01:06:16,592 --> 01:06:18,293
Well, what's the issue?
It's, I mean...
1621
01:06:18,361 --> 01:06:19,629
I mean, you can't fix it
already or what's going on?
1622
01:06:19,696 --> 01:06:21,129
We don't know
what it's doing.
1623
01:06:21,196 --> 01:06:22,998
I mean, you know,
guys, you've been here
1624
01:06:23,065 --> 01:06:24,767
a couple minutes already, guys.
1625
01:06:24,833 --> 01:06:26,301
Tick-tock, Bill.
1626
01:06:26,369 --> 01:06:27,770
This is really nice of
you guys, 'cause, you know,
1627
01:06:27,836 --> 01:06:29,237
I never would've stopped
for you guys.
1628
01:06:31,774 --> 01:06:33,942
I mean, I gotta be honest,
you fellas are top-notch.
1629
01:06:34,009 --> 01:06:35,110
It's...
1630
01:06:35,177 --> 01:06:36,512
Sal, you gonna say
that line or no?
1631
01:06:36,579 --> 01:06:38,347
Here we go, oh.
1632
01:06:38,414 --> 01:06:40,583
I wouldn't have stopped for you
guys, so that's really nice.
1633
01:06:41,950 --> 01:06:43,353
There wouldn't be no use
to stopping.
1634
01:06:43,419 --> 01:06:45,153
Yeah, right, right,
right, right, right.
1635
01:06:45,220 --> 01:06:47,357
The only thing I could suggest
if you guys were stuck,
1636
01:06:47,423 --> 01:06:49,359
you could blast something
up your tailpipe, though.
1637
01:06:50,560 --> 01:06:52,260
All right, bud,
head around to the trunk.
1638
01:06:52,327 --> 01:06:54,162
We've hidden something
in there for him.
1639
01:06:54,229 --> 01:06:56,264
I think I got something here.
Let me see.
1640
01:07:02,170 --> 01:07:03,673
What the hell is that?
1641
01:07:03,740 --> 01:07:05,240
Okay.
1642
01:07:09,177 --> 01:07:10,747
Yeah, there's no string...
1643
01:07:10,813 --> 01:07:12,280
So, Sal, in the backseat,
1644
01:07:12,347 --> 01:07:13,416
we put a check
for good Samaritans.
1645
01:07:13,483 --> 01:07:15,884
This is, guys...
Mark, Bill...
1646
01:07:15,951 --> 01:07:17,420
This is the check
1647
01:07:18,588 --> 01:07:21,624
for good Samaritans
who stopped
1648
01:07:21,691 --> 01:07:23,225
and pulled over to help me.
1649
01:07:23,291 --> 01:07:25,260
This is a check for 5...
1650
01:07:25,327 --> 01:07:27,597
Take that, Mark, go ahead.
1651
01:07:28,964 --> 01:07:30,198
Hello.
1652
01:07:30,265 --> 01:07:32,668
Mark's still rocking a flip.
1653
01:07:32,735 --> 01:07:35,438
You took the call right in the
middle of the check ceremony.
1654
01:07:35,505 --> 01:07:37,038
So anyway, guys, this is
1655
01:07:37,105 --> 01:07:38,641
from the Staten Island
Credit Union,
1656
01:07:38,708 --> 01:07:40,275
this is a Good Samaritan check
1657
01:07:40,342 --> 01:07:41,811
for $5,000
1658
01:07:41,878 --> 01:07:43,245
for helping people in need.
1659
01:07:43,311 --> 01:07:44,547
- Ain't legal tender.
- Try to rip it.
1660
01:07:44,614 --> 01:07:46,114
You don't want it?
'Cause I'll...
1661
01:07:46,181 --> 01:07:48,183
Yeah, yeah, don't tear that,
don't tear that.
1662
01:07:48,250 --> 01:07:50,051
Oh.
1663
01:07:50,118 --> 01:07:51,587
Thank you.
Bill, that's for you, man.
1664
01:07:55,892 --> 01:07:57,192
Murr,
you're walking funny.
1665
01:07:57,259 --> 01:07:58,594
Yeah, no kidding
I'm walking funny, Joe.
1666
01:07:58,661 --> 01:08:00,061
Is it because of that thong
we put on you?
1667
01:08:00,128 --> 01:08:01,329
What thong?
This thong?
1668
01:08:01,397 --> 01:08:03,165
There it is.
1669
01:08:03,833 --> 01:08:05,200
Dude, thank you.
1670
01:08:05,267 --> 01:08:06,903
What's your name, bud?
What is it? I'm sorry.
1671
01:08:06,968 --> 01:08:08,170
- Dennis.
- Dennis, I'm James.
1672
01:08:08,236 --> 01:08:09,505
I appreciate
you stopping, Denise.
1673
01:08:09,572 --> 01:08:11,339
I appreciate you stopping...
1674
01:08:13,376 --> 01:08:14,976
I appreciate you
stopping, Denise.
1675
01:08:15,043 --> 01:08:16,579
I don't know
the first thing.
1676
01:08:16,646 --> 01:08:18,313
Come around here, I'll show you
what I noticed before.
1677
01:08:18,381 --> 01:08:20,817
I noticed that before it was
smoking primarily from
1678
01:08:20,883 --> 01:08:21,950
from this area here.
1679
01:08:22,017 --> 01:08:23,118
I ain't got time
for this, man.
1680
01:08:23,185 --> 01:08:24,687
- I don't even know.
- No?
1681
01:08:28,391 --> 01:08:29,926
- Murr loses again.
- Son of a bitch.
1682
01:08:29,991 --> 01:08:31,259
Did I just lose?
1683
01:08:31,326 --> 01:08:32,829
Did I just lose?
A thong was his weakness?
1684
01:08:32,895 --> 01:08:35,030
- Murr, you gotta go again.
- Yeah.
1685
01:08:35,096 --> 01:08:37,299
What, is this like
double or nothing?
1686
01:08:37,366 --> 01:08:39,435
Thank you so much, man.
I appreciate it.
1687
01:08:39,502 --> 01:08:41,102
- James. Nice to meet you, bud.
- Good to meet you, man.
1688
01:08:41,169 --> 01:08:42,538
Here's what happened,
so I'm driving before.
1689
01:08:42,605 --> 01:08:44,841
But I don't even know
what I'm looking at, bro.
1690
01:08:44,907 --> 01:08:46,274
Want to have a laugh?
1691
01:08:46,341 --> 01:08:48,076
Fake strangle me
when the next car pulls by.
1692
01:08:48,143 --> 01:08:49,244
You want to have
a little fun? Watch.
1693
01:08:49,311 --> 01:08:50,947
Okay, okay, okay, go.
1694
01:08:51,012 --> 01:08:52,748
When this guy pulls by, pretend
you're strangling me, okay?
1695
01:08:52,815 --> 01:08:54,249
Gonna do it.
1696
01:08:54,316 --> 01:08:55,984
Flail your arms.
Flail your arms!
1697
01:08:56,051 --> 01:08:58,387
- Flail, your arms.
- No, keep going. Don't stop now!
1698
01:09:03,459 --> 01:09:05,528
Dude!
1699
01:09:07,028 --> 01:09:08,096
Nailed it.
1700
01:09:08,163 --> 01:09:10,198
Thanks, bud.
That was awesome.
1701
01:09:10,265 --> 01:09:12,067
You know what, dude, I'm so
glad that you pulled over.
1702
01:09:12,133 --> 01:09:13,569
I'm so glad you pulled over.
1703
01:09:13,636 --> 01:09:15,237
I was afraid it was
gonna be a woman and then...
1704
01:09:15,303 --> 01:09:16,739
I was afraid...
Nope, nope.
1705
01:09:18,206 --> 01:09:19,509
Nope, nope, nope.
1706
01:09:22,277 --> 01:09:24,179
Car's a real lemon
right now, buddy.
1707
01:09:24,246 --> 01:09:26,449
There you go.
1708
01:09:26,516 --> 01:09:28,451
Oh, oh.
1709
01:09:28,518 --> 01:09:29,485
Oh, thank God.
1710
01:09:29,552 --> 01:09:31,019
Jump up and down
you're so excited.
1711
01:09:31,086 --> 01:09:34,222
- Yeah, yeah.
- Oh, yay.
1712
01:09:34,289 --> 01:09:35,725
Clap, clap, clap.
1713
01:09:35,791 --> 01:09:37,527
Yeah, yeah.
1714
01:09:37,593 --> 01:09:39,395
Turn around, do it
in circles, do it in circles.
1715
01:09:39,462 --> 01:09:42,297
I have been waiting for
somebody to pull over so long.
1716
01:09:42,365 --> 01:09:44,433
Oh, yes!
1717
01:09:46,268 --> 01:09:47,904
Dude, thank you so much.
1718
01:09:47,970 --> 01:09:49,839
Yay.
I love this car, man.
1719
01:09:49,906 --> 01:09:52,375
I've had this car for so long,
and then I was riding,
1720
01:09:52,441 --> 01:09:54,010
I hit a bump,
and then it just...
1721
01:09:54,109 --> 01:09:55,143
It just died.
It won't go again.
1722
01:09:55,210 --> 01:09:56,546
You believe that?
1723
01:09:56,612 --> 01:09:58,313
The old wagon's
down for the count.
1724
01:09:58,381 --> 01:09:59,582
It's just dead, man.
1725
01:09:59,649 --> 01:10:00,816
The wagon's
down for the count.
1726
01:10:00,883 --> 01:10:02,985
Yeah.
1727
01:10:03,051 --> 01:10:04,854
I lost my virginity
in this car.
1728
01:10:04,921 --> 01:10:06,422
So did my older brother.
1729
01:10:06,489 --> 01:10:07,990
- So did my older brother.
- My younger brother.
1730
01:10:08,056 --> 01:10:09,759
- So did my younger brother.
- My sister did.
1731
01:10:09,825 --> 01:10:11,527
My sis,
my sister did.
1732
01:10:11,594 --> 01:10:13,228
It was a hell of a night.
1733
01:10:13,295 --> 01:10:14,497
It was a hell of a night.
1734
01:10:14,564 --> 01:10:16,331
It was,
1735
01:10:16,399 --> 01:10:17,332
it was a hell of a night.
1736
01:10:17,400 --> 01:10:19,635
- Yeah?
- Yeah. Yeah.
1737
01:10:19,702 --> 01:10:21,236
You know what I got
in the trunk?
1738
01:10:21,303 --> 01:10:22,538
Yeah, show him
what you have in the trunk.
1739
01:10:24,840 --> 01:10:27,142
Yeah, that's about
a hundred pounds of cocaine,
1740
01:10:27,208 --> 01:10:28,778
and bags full of cash.
1741
01:10:28,844 --> 01:10:33,616
What we have here is about
a hundred pounds of cocaine...
1742
01:10:33,683 --> 01:10:35,017
You're not DEA, are you?
1743
01:10:35,083 --> 01:10:36,686
You don't work
for the fuzz, do you?
1744
01:10:38,721 --> 01:10:39,922
I'll tell you what, bro.
1745
01:10:39,989 --> 01:10:41,457
- You didn't see nothing.
- Put that back in the car.
1746
01:10:41,524 --> 01:10:42,491
Hurry up.
Here comes a bus.
1747
01:10:42,558 --> 01:10:44,627
This is... A bus?
Oh, shit.
1748
01:10:45,895 --> 01:10:48,397
Do you think anybody saw me?
1749
01:10:48,464 --> 01:10:49,966
Do you think they saw my face?
1750
01:10:53,101 --> 01:10:55,136
You never saw me!
1751
01:11:03,311 --> 01:11:07,148
Guys, this is,
this is a whole thing.
1752
01:11:07,215 --> 01:11:10,086
Joe, for no reason,
stop traffic
1753
01:11:10,151 --> 01:11:11,754
and let cars go
indiscriminately.
1754
01:11:11,821 --> 01:11:13,456
Let's stop a car.
1755
01:11:13,522 --> 01:11:15,190
He's gonna walk
right into the road.
1756
01:11:16,659 --> 01:11:19,260
Okay, take it easy.
I got 17 cars.
1757
01:11:20,963 --> 01:11:23,032
You're in.
1758
01:11:23,099 --> 01:11:24,232
Good.
1759
01:11:24,299 --> 01:11:26,167
Good, good, good.
1760
01:11:26,234 --> 01:11:28,638
Come on, come on.
1761
01:11:30,406 --> 01:11:31,807
Come on, come on, stop.
1762
01:11:36,244 --> 01:11:37,580
There you go.
1763
01:11:37,647 --> 01:11:39,147
Joe, both arms, windmill,
opposite directions.
1764
01:11:39,214 --> 01:11:42,551
There you go.
There you go.
1765
01:11:42,618 --> 01:11:44,553
Guys, nobody will stop
to help me.
1766
01:11:44,620 --> 01:11:46,622
What are you doing?
1767
01:11:46,689 --> 01:11:48,524
Okay, this guy
just pulled over.
1768
01:11:52,128 --> 01:11:53,696
- Hi, I'm Joe.
- Mitch.
1769
01:11:53,763 --> 01:11:55,598
Mitch, good to see you, pal.
So the problem was I was...
1770
01:11:55,665 --> 01:11:57,298
I was driving down this road.
1771
01:11:57,366 --> 01:11:58,634
Keep him walking
around the whole car.
1772
01:11:58,701 --> 01:12:00,569
And then when I saw it,
I hit a bump.
1773
01:12:00,636 --> 01:12:02,303
And then I heard
a da-dunk-dunk-dunk.
1774
01:12:02,371 --> 01:12:04,140
Come on.
And a hit a buh-bump-bump.
1775
01:12:04,205 --> 01:12:06,709
And then when I hit it,
I heard a jiggle-jiggle here.
1776
01:12:06,776 --> 01:12:07,743
There was a jiggle.
1777
01:12:07,810 --> 01:12:08,978
Take him around
the whole car.
1778
01:12:09,045 --> 01:12:10,311
Then on the other side here...
1779
01:12:10,379 --> 01:12:12,048
Joe, I need,
I need two full rotations.
1780
01:12:12,114 --> 01:12:13,482
This is here,
this is one car.
1781
01:12:13,549 --> 01:12:15,051
- This is one.
- Come on, take a walk with me.
1782
01:12:15,117 --> 01:12:17,420
So I saw back here that
this wheel started to like,
1783
01:12:17,486 --> 01:12:19,320
if you look, like,
this is on pretty good.
1784
01:12:19,388 --> 01:12:20,823
- Okay.
- But the other one,
1785
01:12:20,890 --> 01:12:22,391
come on here, Mitch,
let me show you real quick.
1786
01:12:22,458 --> 01:12:23,859
Oh, no, now you went
the other way. Shit.
1787
01:12:23,926 --> 01:12:26,327
- He's undoing it, Joe!
- You're undoing...
1788
01:12:26,395 --> 01:12:27,797
You're undoing the loop.
No, you gotta come this way.
1789
01:12:27,863 --> 01:12:29,398
- Yeah.
- So now we're back on track.
1790
01:12:29,465 --> 01:12:31,332
So this will be
a second rotation, yeah.
1791
01:12:31,400 --> 01:12:32,535
This hubcap is off.
1792
01:12:32,601 --> 01:12:34,370
The other side,
the two came off.
1793
01:12:34,437 --> 01:12:36,539
- Okay.
- This one here, hubcap.
1794
01:12:36,605 --> 01:12:38,040
So I got two hubcaps.
So now...
1795
01:12:38,107 --> 01:12:40,208
I think I actually need
three rotations, Joe.
1796
01:12:40,275 --> 01:12:42,111
Damn it.
How many rotations?
1797
01:12:42,178 --> 01:12:43,479
You need one more.
1798
01:12:43,546 --> 01:12:44,914
What are you trying
to accomplish here, Joe?
1799
01:12:44,980 --> 01:12:46,214
- Oh, me?
- Yeah.
1800
01:12:46,281 --> 01:12:47,683
Oh, no, I'm trying to get
the car to start.
1801
01:12:47,750 --> 01:12:48,818
But I walked you through
what happened, come here.
1802
01:12:48,884 --> 01:12:50,052
Mitch, Mitch...
1803
01:12:50,119 --> 01:12:51,821
You gotta look at this,
Mitch. Mitch, Mitch!
1804
01:12:51,887 --> 01:12:53,956
- Hold on, hold on.
- Joe, start hiding from him.
1805
01:12:54,023 --> 01:12:55,624
But I don't need...
1806
01:12:55,691 --> 01:12:57,059
Joe, he's not
gonna chase you.
1807
01:12:57,126 --> 01:12:58,461
- Come on, Joe!
- Hey, man,
1808
01:12:58,527 --> 01:13:01,063
you're gonna make me
leave you, man, okay?
1809
01:13:01,130 --> 01:13:03,365
- Hey, man, I'm gone, man.
- No, no, Mitch, look at this!
1810
01:13:03,432 --> 01:13:05,835
No.
1811
01:13:05,901 --> 01:13:07,636
Mitch, but look, you gotta
look at this last one.
1812
01:13:07,703 --> 01:13:09,138
- Come here.
- Mitch.
1813
01:13:09,205 --> 01:13:10,506
Mitch, you're my best friend.
1814
01:13:10,573 --> 01:13:12,541
We're best friends, Mitch.
Mitch.
1815
01:13:12,608 --> 01:13:14,309
All I'm trying to do
is help you.
1816
01:13:14,376 --> 01:13:15,644
- I know, I'm trying...
- You want to help me,
1817
01:13:15,711 --> 01:13:17,113
go around the car
one more time!
1818
01:13:17,179 --> 01:13:18,114
- One more time.
- Okay?
1819
01:13:18,180 --> 01:13:19,381
- Guess what.
- What?
1820
01:13:19,448 --> 01:13:21,150
- You gotta follow me.
- Okay. Deal.
1821
01:13:21,217 --> 01:13:22,985
I'm following you, Mitch.
1822
01:13:23,052 --> 01:13:24,285
- Joe...
- It's okay.
1823
01:13:24,353 --> 01:13:25,888
Joe, after this,
I'm going home.
1824
01:13:25,955 --> 01:13:27,790
Okay, you accomplished
your goal.
1825
01:13:27,857 --> 01:13:29,658
I did.
I did accomplish my goal.
1826
01:13:29,725 --> 01:13:31,160
- And you have a good day.
- That's it.
1827
01:13:31,227 --> 01:13:33,162
Mitch,
you're unbelievable, buddy.
1828
01:13:33,229 --> 01:13:34,363
Thank you so much.
1829
01:13:34,430 --> 01:13:35,898
That's how you hit home runs.
1830
01:13:35,965 --> 01:13:37,199
Great work, boys.
1831
01:13:43,973 --> 01:13:46,408
Lovely Florida.
Oh, what do we have here?
1832
01:13:46,475 --> 01:13:47,777
Check it out.
1833
01:13:47,843 --> 01:13:50,646
Murr's our loser!
1834
01:13:50,713 --> 01:13:52,081
Oh!
1835
01:13:52,148 --> 01:13:53,983
Murr is forever our loser.
1836
01:13:54,049 --> 01:13:55,718
No Abdul for you, baby.
1837
01:13:55,785 --> 01:13:58,319
♪ She gon' make you
Move to Miami ♪
1838
01:13:58,387 --> 01:14:00,523
♪ She moving like a gypsy ♪
1839
01:14:00,589 --> 01:14:01,991
♪ Her body got me tipsy ♪
1840
01:14:02,057 --> 01:14:03,592
- Look at this!
- We have arrived.
1841
01:14:03,659 --> 01:14:06,294
Oh, look at this.
1842
01:14:06,362 --> 01:14:08,564
♪ Girl got me
Feeling risky ♪
1843
01:14:11,667 --> 01:14:13,869
Welcome to Miami, gentlemen.
Checking in?
1844
01:14:13,936 --> 01:14:15,838
You bet your sweet ass
we're checking in,
1845
01:14:15,905 --> 01:14:17,873
you bedroom-eyed baby bitch,
just kidding.
1846
01:14:17,940 --> 01:14:20,176
- We need help with luggage?
- We straight!
1847
01:14:20,242 --> 01:14:21,342
All good here, dawg.
1848
01:14:21,410 --> 01:14:23,913
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
1849
01:14:23,979 --> 01:14:26,182
Door!
1850
01:14:26,248 --> 01:14:28,284
Hey, watch the leather.
1851
01:14:28,349 --> 01:14:30,219
Good joke.
1852
01:14:30,286 --> 01:14:31,687
♪ We gon' party ♪
1853
01:14:31,754 --> 01:14:33,489
♪ Freaking every weekend ♪
1854
01:14:33,556 --> 01:14:36,425
♪ Baby, we just
getting started ♪
1855
01:14:41,664 --> 01:14:43,065
♪ Damn, you got me, girl ♪
1856
01:14:43,132 --> 01:14:45,801
♪ That body's built
Like a Bugatti ♪
1857
01:14:45,868 --> 01:14:48,003
♪ And if you look,
You'll fall in love ♪
1858
01:14:48,070 --> 01:14:50,439
♪ She got that ass,
She make... ♪
1859
01:14:50,506 --> 01:14:52,875
It's always...
1860
01:14:52,942 --> 01:14:54,443
I gotta go back down!
1861
01:15:02,685 --> 01:15:04,286
♪ She gon' make you move
to Miami ♪
1862
01:15:04,353 --> 01:15:06,155
- VIPs.
- What do you think?
1863
01:15:06,222 --> 01:15:07,489
What do you think?
VIP!
1864
01:15:07,556 --> 01:15:09,391
Stands for
"Very Important Man."
1865
01:15:09,458 --> 01:15:11,126
- Abdul!
- Get to the party.
1866
01:15:11,193 --> 01:15:12,595
Abdul!
1867
01:15:14,964 --> 01:15:18,167
Abdul! Abdul! Abdul!
1868
01:15:19,702 --> 01:15:21,804
Abdul! Abdul!
Abdul!
1869
01:15:28,644 --> 01:15:30,346
Wow,
look at this place, huh?
1870
01:15:30,412 --> 01:15:32,781
Whoa.
Oh, yeah.
1871
01:15:32,848 --> 01:15:34,283
Door.
1872
01:15:34,351 --> 01:15:36,819
- This is crazy.
- Wow. Check it.
1873
01:15:36,886 --> 01:15:38,654
Yeah, but we made it, boys.
1874
01:15:38,721 --> 01:15:40,222
It's us, settle down.
Everybody settle down.
1875
01:15:42,359 --> 01:15:43,859
- You have a finger...
- Very good, all right.
1876
01:15:43,926 --> 01:15:46,829
...in your ass
on television!
1877
01:15:46,896 --> 01:15:48,931
There you go.
1878
01:15:51,267 --> 01:15:53,435
This is so nice.
1879
01:15:53,502 --> 01:15:55,070
- Paula.
- Hey, Paula.
1880
01:15:55,137 --> 01:15:57,406
Hey, guys, how are you?
You made it.
1881
01:15:57,473 --> 01:15:58,941
- Where's Murr?
- Who he?
1882
01:15:59,008 --> 01:16:01,210
Oh, it turns out
there was only three tickets.
1883
01:16:01,277 --> 01:16:03,879
So we decided to compete
in a hidden camera challenge...
1884
01:16:06,282 --> 01:16:08,450
You guys are hysterical.
1885
01:16:11,220 --> 01:16:12,721
Okay.
1886
01:16:15,658 --> 01:16:19,295
- Well, there's our table.
- She thinks I'm hysterical.
1887
01:16:19,362 --> 01:16:20,496
- That's nice.
- You are funny.
1888
01:16:20,562 --> 01:16:23,165
♪ Baby, pick your head up ♪
1889
01:16:23,232 --> 01:16:27,970
♪ Come on and look me
In the face ♪
1890
01:16:28,037 --> 01:16:30,906
♪ 'Cause I can tell
That something ♪
1891
01:16:30,973 --> 01:16:34,710
♪ Is bringing you down ♪
1892
01:16:34,777 --> 01:16:37,179
♪ Is it the rumor ♪
1893
01:16:37,246 --> 01:16:39,581
♪ That another boy ♪
1894
01:16:39,648 --> 01:16:43,252
♪ Wants to take your place ♪
1895
01:16:43,319 --> 01:16:46,522
♪ Have you been
Hearing the stories ♪
1896
01:16:46,588 --> 01:16:48,991
♪ They're going around ♪
1897
01:16:49,058 --> 01:16:50,225
So funny.
1898
01:16:50,292 --> 01:16:52,761
That looks like Murr
from Impractical Jokers.
1899
01:16:52,828 --> 01:16:54,830
No way.
He looks too sad and lonely.
1900
01:16:54,897 --> 01:16:56,565
Yeah, and they're never
seen alone.
1901
01:16:56,632 --> 01:16:57,933
- They're tight like that.
- Yeah.
1902
01:16:58,000 --> 01:17:00,602
So anyways,
like I was saying, she...
1903
01:17:00,669 --> 01:17:02,271
♪ The moon
And the stars above ♪
1904
01:17:02,338 --> 01:17:04,273
Okay, so when you're making
a balsamic reduction,
1905
01:17:04,340 --> 01:17:06,342
you really want to have
the flame at a nice simmer.
1906
01:17:06,409 --> 01:17:08,043
If the heat is too hot,
it's not gonna reduce
1907
01:17:08,110 --> 01:17:09,645
the way you want it,
and the most important part
1908
01:17:09,712 --> 01:17:11,747
is to put the drizzle
right when it's hot.
1909
01:17:11,814 --> 01:17:14,049
And that's chicken, salads,
fish dishes, whatever?
1910
01:17:14,116 --> 01:17:16,285
Any dish.
It's about the presentaish.
1911
01:18:00,262 --> 01:18:01,563
What are you doing?
1912
01:18:01,630 --> 01:18:03,165
Kinda getting back into it
a little bit.
1913
01:18:03,232 --> 01:18:04,299
It looks like you're hurt.
1914
01:18:04,367 --> 01:18:06,001
Nah, I feel great.
1915
01:18:06,068 --> 01:18:08,704
- That does not look like you think it looks, buddy.
- Yeah.
1916
01:18:08,771 --> 01:18:10,572
I don't know
if I agree with you.
1917
01:18:10,639 --> 01:18:13,242
Everyone here agrees with us.
1918
01:18:14,176 --> 01:18:15,577
All right, all right.
1919
01:18:15,644 --> 01:18:16,979
All right,
we need Murray back,
1920
01:18:17,046 --> 01:18:18,647
'cause we're starting
to turn on each other.
1921
01:18:18,714 --> 01:18:19,948
You know, it just doesn't
feel right without Murr.
1922
01:18:20,015 --> 01:18:21,650
Because he's not here,
I'll admit it.
1923
01:18:21,717 --> 01:18:22,951
I miss him a little.
1924
01:18:23,018 --> 01:18:24,787
What are we even
still doing here?
1925
01:18:24,853 --> 01:18:26,288
We accomplished
what we set out to do.
1926
01:18:26,356 --> 01:18:28,757
We didn't mess up the night.
I'm not having fun.
1927
01:18:28,824 --> 01:18:31,093
We're nowhere near
Paula anyway.
1928
01:18:31,160 --> 01:18:33,829
Why don't we make like a tree
and go make fun of Murray?
1929
01:18:33,896 --> 01:18:35,731
- Yeah.
- All right.
1930
01:18:43,639 --> 01:18:46,708
Look at this vanilla angel.
1931
01:18:47,544 --> 01:18:49,044
He's magnificent.
1932
01:18:49,111 --> 01:18:51,013
You glorious,
luminous ferret.
1933
01:18:51,080 --> 01:18:53,348
I made the cut.
I made the cut.
1934
01:18:53,416 --> 01:18:55,117
I'm in, boys.
1935
01:18:55,184 --> 01:18:57,252
You just had to come,
didn't you?
1936
01:18:57,319 --> 01:18:58,921
The unmitigated gall, bro.
1937
01:18:58,987 --> 01:19:00,856
I mean, you lost
and you show up?
1938
01:19:00,923 --> 01:19:02,624
- What about the rules?
- Yeah, I mean...
1939
01:19:02,691 --> 01:19:04,626
we're gonna pass Go
and collect $200?
1940
01:19:04,693 --> 01:19:05,828
We're breaking rules?
1941
01:19:05,894 --> 01:19:07,229
I'm not playing Monopoly
like that!
1942
01:19:07,296 --> 01:19:08,531
Really?
1943
01:19:08,597 --> 01:19:10,065
I thought you guys
would be realizing
1944
01:19:10,132 --> 01:19:11,633
that the four of us
are better together.
1945
01:19:11,700 --> 01:19:14,471
This place is thebomb.com.
1946
01:19:14,537 --> 01:19:16,105
There's Paula Abdul.
1947
01:19:16,171 --> 01:19:17,106
Paula!
1948
01:19:17,172 --> 01:19:19,608
- Right, she's right there.
- Hi.
1949
01:19:22,010 --> 01:19:23,779
She's clocking us
in a weird way.
1950
01:19:30,018 --> 01:19:32,355
- It's them.
- You bald idiot.
1951
01:19:32,422 --> 01:19:33,655
You wore the jacket.
1952
01:19:33,722 --> 01:19:35,924
It's them.
1953
01:19:35,991 --> 01:19:38,394
She's put it all together.
We gotta get out of here.
1954
01:19:38,461 --> 01:19:39,529
Run!
1955
01:19:39,596 --> 01:19:41,364
My throat!
1956
01:19:45,167 --> 01:19:47,202
Suck it, Abdul!
1957
01:19:47,269 --> 01:19:48,303
- Yeah!
- Whoa!
1958
01:19:49,638 --> 01:19:50,939
Hey, baby!
1959
01:19:53,709 --> 01:19:54,877
- Sal!
- His throat!
1960
01:19:54,943 --> 01:19:58,113
- My beautiful boy.
- Buddy, buddy.
1961
01:19:58,180 --> 01:20:00,716
- Take 'em out back.
- Who are you?
1962
01:20:00,782 --> 01:20:02,151
I run this town.
1963
01:20:02,217 --> 01:20:05,254
Not the cartel.
Not the Yakuza.
1964
01:20:05,320 --> 01:20:06,389
Abdul.
1965
01:20:06,456 --> 01:20:08,424
You're evil.
And you, you're a monster.
1966
01:20:08,491 --> 01:20:11,226
You know, I'm gonna make you
forever my bitch!
1967
01:20:15,465 --> 01:20:17,467
No!
1968
01:20:22,539 --> 01:20:24,239
And this is where
our story should end.
1969
01:20:24,306 --> 01:20:26,442
I mean, we really screwed
the night up.
1970
01:20:26,509 --> 01:20:29,111
My sweet, sweet Sal was tased.
1971
01:20:29,178 --> 01:20:31,381
I'm saving him
like a real man, sure,
1972
01:20:31,447 --> 01:20:33,650
but Murr is screaming
like a little ferret.
1973
01:20:33,715 --> 01:20:35,083
Paula's good and pissed.
1974
01:20:35,150 --> 01:20:37,686
And Joe...
Wait, where is Joe?
1975
01:20:37,753 --> 01:20:39,922
Hey, Paula.
1976
01:20:39,988 --> 01:20:42,492
I mean, I came here
to party, right?
1977
01:20:43,892 --> 01:20:46,496
I got this, boys.
1978
01:20:46,563 --> 01:20:48,398
♪ Make money, money,
Make money, money ♪
1979
01:20:48,464 --> 01:20:50,567
♪ Make money, money,
Make money, money, hey ♪
1980
01:20:50,633 --> 01:20:52,535
♪ Take money, money,
Take money, money ♪
1981
01:20:52,602 --> 01:20:54,470
♪ Take money, money,
Take money, money, hey ♪
1982
01:20:54,537 --> 01:20:56,805
♪ Save money, money,
Save money, money, money ♪
1983
01:20:56,872 --> 01:20:59,007
♪ Save money, money,
save money, money, money ♪
1984
01:20:59,074 --> 01:21:01,009
♪ 401(k), 401(k) ♪
1985
01:21:01,076 --> 01:21:03,245
♪ 401(k), 401(k) ♪
1986
01:21:03,312 --> 01:21:04,279
DJ, flip it.
1987
01:21:04,346 --> 01:21:06,616
Paula, get your Abdul ass
up here.
1988
01:21:11,720 --> 01:21:13,956
- ♪ Hey, baby ♪
- Oh, oh!
1989
01:21:14,022 --> 01:21:16,892
- ♪ You gotta remember ♪
- I remember.
1990
01:21:16,959 --> 01:21:18,461
♪ I'm forever your girl ♪
1991
01:21:18,528 --> 01:21:20,996
- For how long?
- ♪ Baby, forever ♪
1992
01:21:21,063 --> 01:21:24,733
♪ And ever and ever,
You know I am ♪
1993
01:21:24,800 --> 01:21:26,134
Yeah, let's do it!
1994
01:21:26,201 --> 01:21:29,472
Give it up for Joe
and the Impractical Jokers.
1995
01:21:29,539 --> 01:21:30,739
They're in the house,
1996
01:21:30,806 --> 01:21:33,008
and they drove
the whole way here.
1997
01:21:34,776 --> 01:21:36,144
She forgives us!
1998
01:21:42,117 --> 01:21:44,086
♪ Baby, pick your head up ♪
1999
01:21:44,152 --> 01:21:45,622
Pick your head up.
Pick your head up.
2000
01:21:45,688 --> 01:21:49,992
♪ Come on
And look me in the face ♪
2001
01:21:50,058 --> 01:21:52,495
♪ 'Cause I can tell
That something ♪
2002
01:21:52,562 --> 01:21:54,631
- What?
- ♪ Is bringing you down ♪
2003
01:21:54,697 --> 01:21:56,932
Paula Abdul!
2004
01:21:56,999 --> 01:21:58,534
You did it!
2005
01:21:58,601 --> 01:22:01,638
♪ Baby, just remember,
I gave you my heart ♪
2006
01:22:01,704 --> 01:22:03,171
Tell me!
2007
01:22:03,238 --> 01:22:05,708
♪ Ain't no one
Gonna tear us apart ♪
2008
01:22:05,774 --> 01:22:08,143
- ♪ He can promise the moon ♪
- Hands in the air!
2009
01:22:08,210 --> 01:22:10,446
♪ And the stars above ♪
2010
01:22:10,513 --> 01:22:14,450
♪ Even if he promised me
The world ♪
2011
01:22:21,256 --> 01:22:24,126
Wow, I love Miami.
2012
01:22:24,192 --> 01:22:26,061
What a night.
What a night!
2013
01:22:26,128 --> 01:22:27,630
- Yes!
- Unbelievable.
2014
01:22:27,697 --> 01:22:30,566
Man, I'm so glad I threatened
your lives with that 2x4.
2015
01:22:31,768 --> 01:22:33,636
- Fellas, I love you.
- Yeah.
2016
01:22:33,703 --> 01:22:34,704
You're my best friends.
2017
01:22:34,771 --> 01:22:36,372
Epic, epic night, guys.
2018
01:22:36,439 --> 01:22:40,309
Yeah, I don't say
this enough, but I... I...
2019
01:22:40,376 --> 01:22:42,578
Hey, Fatone, you mind
keeping it down back there?
2020
01:22:42,645 --> 01:22:45,047
- We're trying to have a moment.
- Sorry.
2021
01:22:45,113 --> 01:22:47,182
I thought
I had known everything
2022
01:22:47,249 --> 01:22:48,551
there was to know about us,
2023
01:22:48,618 --> 01:22:50,118
but I learned
a few things on this trip.
2024
01:22:50,185 --> 01:22:51,853
Sal loves tigers.
2025
01:22:51,920 --> 01:22:55,223
Yeah, Murr loves going to strip
clubs with his young nieces.
2026
01:22:55,290 --> 01:22:57,225
Q's parents love
softcore porn.
2027
01:22:57,292 --> 01:22:58,795
- No, no, they do not.
- They do.
2028
01:22:58,860 --> 01:23:00,463
- They do not. They do not.
- They do, they produce it.
2029
01:23:00,530 --> 01:23:02,264
I'll tell you
what the biggest thing, though,
2030
01:23:02,331 --> 01:23:03,899
that surprised me
was how good of a hype man
2031
01:23:03,965 --> 01:23:05,967
- Joe turned out to be after all.
- Right?
2032
01:23:06,034 --> 01:23:08,970
Not bad, buddy.
2033
01:23:09,037 --> 01:23:11,474
I should talk to you boys
about something.
2034
01:23:11,541 --> 01:23:13,041
An offer came in.
2035
01:23:13,108 --> 01:23:14,876
Abdul wants me to go
full-time as her hype man.
2036
01:23:14,943 --> 01:23:17,045
World tour.
Unbelievable.
2037
01:23:17,112 --> 01:23:19,915
Seven-figure salary,
401(k), full benefits.
2038
01:23:19,981 --> 01:23:22,117
Everything.
2039
01:23:22,184 --> 01:23:25,153
You know, she even offered me
my own reality show.
2040
01:23:25,220 --> 01:23:27,856
"Believe the Hype:
The Joe Gatto Story."
2041
01:23:27,923 --> 01:23:29,925
I got a tricycle for McKayla.
2042
01:23:29,991 --> 01:23:31,159
Milana.
2043
01:23:31,226 --> 01:23:33,328
My own helicopter
they're flying in.
2044
01:23:34,597 --> 01:23:36,131
She's gonna get rid
of that tapeworm.
2045
01:23:36,198 --> 01:23:37,999
Oh, you've had that
for years.
2046
01:23:38,066 --> 01:23:39,369
Bye-bye, Charlie.
2047
01:23:39,435 --> 01:23:42,337
Everything I ever wanted
as a full-blown hype man
2048
01:23:42,405 --> 01:23:44,106
delivered on a silver platter.
2049
01:23:44,172 --> 01:23:45,675
Well, what did you say
to her?
2050
01:23:49,846 --> 01:23:51,381
- I said no.
- Oh, thank God!
2051
01:23:51,447 --> 01:23:52,749
I don't want to do it.
She said, "What are you doing?"
2052
01:23:52,815 --> 01:23:53,816
I said,
"I'm forever their boy."
2053
01:23:53,882 --> 01:23:55,551
I straight up told her no-no.
2054
01:23:55,618 --> 01:23:56,652
You know what?
2055
01:23:57,886 --> 01:23:59,655
It's time to go back
to Staten Island.
2056
01:23:59,722 --> 01:24:00,956
Yes, it is.
2057
01:24:01,022 --> 01:24:02,358
Let me just go gas up
Grandma Lucia.
2058
01:24:02,425 --> 01:24:04,126
- We'll hit the road.
- Hold on, fellas.
2059
01:24:04,192 --> 01:24:07,963
Abdul texted me tickets
to go on her private plane.
2060
01:24:08,029 --> 01:24:09,297
- Oh, all right.
- Oh!
2061
01:24:09,365 --> 01:24:10,966
- That's awesome.
- Wait, wait, wait.
2062
01:24:11,032 --> 01:24:13,369
She sent three tickets.
Come on!
2063
01:24:13,436 --> 01:24:15,003
Is she kidding me?
2064
01:24:15,070 --> 01:24:16,304
- And it goes on.
- This is on purpose, right?
2065
01:24:16,372 --> 01:24:18,408
- Does she watch the show?
- Oh, that's great.
2066
01:24:18,474 --> 01:24:19,876
Well, there's four of us.
That's an issue.
2067
01:24:19,941 --> 01:24:20,909
Well, then how
are we gonna decide
2068
01:24:20,976 --> 01:24:22,412
who gets to go on the plane?
2069
01:24:22,478 --> 01:24:24,246
- I think it's been decided.
- Yeah, pretty sure.
2070
01:24:24,312 --> 01:24:25,748
- What do you mean?
- Did you not watch the movie?
2071
01:24:25,815 --> 01:24:27,617
- That's for real, like...
- Yes.
2072
01:24:27,683 --> 01:24:30,085
- Yes, our show is real.
- But that's for real?
2073
01:24:30,152 --> 01:24:31,920
You think you have a shot
at a private?
2074
01:24:31,987 --> 01:24:33,689
Don't worry, we'll...
2075
01:24:33,756 --> 01:24:35,491
♪ The stars above ♪
2076
01:24:35,558 --> 01:24:41,296
♪ Even if he promised me
The world ♪
2077
01:24:41,364 --> 01:24:45,233
♪ Just remember
I'm forever your girl ♪
2078
01:24:46,268 --> 01:24:48,069
Is that it?
Is that the plane?
2079
01:24:48,136 --> 01:24:50,338
Oh, my God, guys.
We are living life.
2080
01:24:50,406 --> 01:24:52,274
- That's a jet.
- Yeah.
2081
01:24:52,340 --> 01:24:54,976
All right, all right.
2082
01:24:55,043 --> 01:24:56,646
So I really can't
fly in the jet?
2083
01:24:56,712 --> 01:24:58,481
Come on.
2084
01:24:58,548 --> 01:25:00,716
What about if I drive
Grandma Lucia home?
2085
01:25:00,783 --> 01:25:03,218
Grandma Lucia's already halfway
back to Staten Island, buddy.
2086
01:25:03,285 --> 01:25:05,788
We're in this.
You're on that.
2087
01:25:10,526 --> 01:25:11,928
Oh, God.
2088
01:25:11,993 --> 01:25:14,029
See you in Staten Island.
2089
01:25:14,095 --> 01:25:15,932
- Welcome.
- Thank you.
2090
01:25:15,997 --> 01:25:17,567
Wait, on?
2091
01:25:27,175 --> 01:25:29,779
- All right, huh?
- Oh, yeah.
2092
01:25:29,846 --> 01:25:31,681
- Cheers.
- Cheers!
2093
01:25:31,747 --> 01:25:32,849
Yes!
2094
01:25:32,915 --> 01:25:35,183
Private plane, Abdul,
no Murray.
2095
01:25:35,250 --> 01:25:38,019
- This is crazy, man.
- Mmm.
2096
01:25:39,422 --> 01:25:41,491
How do you think he's doing?
2097
01:25:44,961 --> 01:25:47,329
♪ I said the joker
Is a wanted man ♪
2098
01:25:47,396 --> 01:25:50,466
♪ He makes his way
All across the land ♪
2099
01:25:50,533 --> 01:25:53,436
♪ See him sifting
Through the sand ♪
2100
01:25:53,503 --> 01:25:55,337
♪ So I'll tell you
All the story ♪
2101
01:25:55,404 --> 01:25:57,773
♪ 'Bout the joker
And the thief in the night ♪
2102
01:26:03,144 --> 01:26:05,848
♪ He's always laughing
In the midst of power ♪
2103
01:26:05,915 --> 01:26:09,284
♪ Always living
In the final hour ♪
2104
01:26:09,352 --> 01:26:11,954
♪ There is always
Sweet in the sour ♪
2105
01:26:12,020 --> 01:26:16,459
♪ So we are not going home ♪
2106
01:26:17,292 --> 01:26:18,761
Oh, God!
2107
01:26:21,329 --> 01:26:25,701
♪ Can you see the joker
Flying over ♪
2108
01:26:27,436 --> 01:26:32,173
♪ As she's standing
In the field of clover ♪
2109
01:26:34,010 --> 01:26:36,812
♪ Watching out every day ♪
2110
01:26:36,879 --> 01:26:39,281
♪ I wonder what would happen
If he took her away ♪
2111
01:26:39,347 --> 01:26:41,049
♪ I'll tell you
All the story ♪
2112
01:26:41,116 --> 01:26:43,218
♪ 'Bout the joker
And the thief in the night ♪
2113
01:26:49,391 --> 01:26:54,391
Subtitles by explosiveskull
www.OpenSubtitles.org
2114
01:30:03,686 --> 01:30:06,422
♪ Time's up, time's up,
Time's up, time's up ♪
2115
01:30:06,489 --> 01:30:07,923
♪ Time to knock this shit up ♪
2116
01:30:07,990 --> 01:30:11,026
♪ I'm a joker,
Impractically nuts ♪
2117
01:30:11,093 --> 01:30:14,663
♪ With my crew,
About to light this shit up ♪
2118
01:30:14,730 --> 01:30:17,466
♪ I'm a joker,
Impractically nuts ♪
2119
01:30:17,533 --> 01:30:19,435
♪ Impractical, impractical ♪
2120
01:30:19,502 --> 01:30:20,636
♪ Joker ♪
2121
01:30:20,703 --> 01:30:23,338
♪ Impractical, impractical ♪
2122
01:30:23,405 --> 01:30:24,740
♪ Joker ♪
2123
01:30:24,807 --> 01:30:26,909
♪ Impractical, impractical ♪
2124
01:30:26,976 --> 01:30:28,210
♪ Joker ♪
2125
01:30:28,276 --> 01:30:29,845
♪ Impractical, impractical ♪
2126
01:30:29,912 --> 01:30:32,214
♪ Joker,
We pull up in the Crown Vic ♪
2127
01:30:32,280 --> 01:30:33,849
♪ We 'bout to clown and shit ♪
2128
01:30:33,916 --> 01:30:35,785
♪ We ate some brownies
At the crib ♪
2129
01:30:35,851 --> 01:30:38,120
♪ We prank and trick,
Straight fooling ♪
2130
01:30:38,187 --> 01:30:40,189
♪ Me and my crew's
In this bitch ♪
2131
01:30:40,256 --> 01:30:42,892
♪ Just coolin',
Me and my dudes, ice pick ♪
2132
01:30:42,958 --> 01:30:44,894
♪ When you see us coming,
We stunting ♪
2133
01:30:44,960 --> 01:30:46,929
♪ Now run and tell that,
The boys ♪
2134
01:30:46,996 --> 01:30:49,165
♪ Are hunting, they gunning,
With nothing held back ♪
2135
01:30:49,231 --> 01:30:51,299
♪ You lose at this game,
You get punished ♪
2136
01:30:51,367 --> 01:30:52,968
♪ And that's a real fact ♪
2137
01:30:53,035 --> 01:30:54,436
♪ You planning on staying,
I'll be honest ♪
2138
01:30:54,503 --> 01:30:56,138
♪ We all... ♪
2139
01:30:56,205 --> 01:30:57,606
♪ Sal, Murr, Joe, Q ♪
2140
01:30:57,673 --> 01:30:59,275
♪ We all about the laughs ♪
2141
01:30:59,340 --> 01:31:01,342
♪ How you gon' react
When the joker's in the back ♪
2142
01:31:01,410 --> 01:31:04,446
♪ And he's all up in your ear,
Cyrano de Bergerac ♪
2143
01:31:04,513 --> 01:31:07,850
♪ So say what I say
This is impractical attack ♪
2144
01:31:07,917 --> 01:31:09,919
♪ Whoa, clock is ticking ♪
2145
01:31:09,985 --> 01:31:11,720
♪ You gon' fold
Or you gon' follow through ♪
2146
01:31:11,787 --> 01:31:14,857
♪ Time's up,
Decide what you gon' do ♪
2147
01:31:14,924 --> 01:31:16,659
♪ Clock is ticking,
You gon' fold ♪
2148
01:31:16,725 --> 01:31:18,260
♪ Or you gon' follow through ♪
2149
01:31:18,326 --> 01:31:20,696
♪ Time's up,
Decide what you gonna do ♪
2150
01:31:20,763 --> 01:31:22,698
♪ Call us comedy cowboys ♪
2151
01:31:22,765 --> 01:31:24,400
♪ We quick with the trigger ♪
2152
01:31:24,466 --> 01:31:26,735
♪ A gang of wisecrackers
Leaving you in stitches ♪
2153
01:31:26,802 --> 01:31:28,571
♪ When you see
These tricksters coming ♪
2154
01:31:28,637 --> 01:31:30,072
♪ You know
They up to something ♪
2155
01:31:30,139 --> 01:31:31,574
♪ Setting you up
To get you cornered ♪
2156
01:31:31,640 --> 01:31:33,042
♪ Execute without warning ♪
2157
01:31:33,108 --> 01:31:35,878
♪ You're the casualty
Of a jokester ♪
2158
01:31:35,945 --> 01:31:38,514
♪ The satirical Casanova ♪
2159
01:31:38,581 --> 01:31:42,585
♪ We swift with the wits,
Seven years still a hit ♪
2160
01:31:42,651 --> 01:31:44,386
♪ Did the movie,
Shit's legit ♪
2161
01:31:44,453 --> 01:31:46,288
- ♪ Impractical humorists ♪
- ♪ Impractical ♪
2162
01:31:46,355 --> 01:31:49,158
♪ Impractical because
I'm cold when I'm hot ♪
2163
01:31:49,225 --> 01:31:52,394
♪ I run a marathon
In flip-flops ♪
2164
01:31:52,461 --> 01:31:53,863
♪ Impractical ♪
2165
01:31:53,929 --> 01:31:56,065
♪ I'm the one
And then I'm not ♪
2166
01:31:56,131 --> 01:31:58,200
♪ I rose to the top
When I dropped ♪
2167
01:31:58,267 --> 01:32:01,470
♪ Time's up,
Time to knock this shit up ♪
2168
01:32:01,537 --> 01:32:04,807
♪ I'm a joker,
Impractically nuts ♪
2169
01:32:04,874 --> 01:32:07,743
♪ With my crew,
About to light this shit up ♪
2170
01:32:07,810 --> 01:32:10,713
♪ I'm a joker,
I'm practically nuts ♪
2171
01:32:10,779 --> 01:32:13,949
♪ Impractical, impractical ♪
2172
01:32:14,016 --> 01:32:15,517
♪ Joker ♪
2173
01:32:15,584 --> 01:32:17,419
♪ Impractical, impractical ♪
2174
01:32:17,486 --> 01:32:18,754
♪ Joker ♪
2175
01:32:18,821 --> 01:32:20,456
♪ Impractical, impractical ♪
2176
01:32:20,522 --> 01:32:21,657
♪ Joker ♪
2177
01:32:21,724 --> 01:32:23,459
♪ Impractical, impractical ♪
2178
01:32:23,525 --> 01:32:24,760
♪ Joker ♪
158412
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