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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,864 --> 00:00:03,064 - (RUMBLING BACKGROUND NOISE) - (CLOCK TICKS) 2 00:00:06,464 --> 00:00:08,464 I like your hair. 3 00:00:11,904 --> 00:00:14,103 This is much nicer than the other room. 4 00:00:14,105 --> 00:00:16,105 This is the better room. 5 00:00:18,865 --> 00:00:21,408 I don't think he's, um, going to come. 6 00:00:21,410 --> 00:00:23,990 I think he just wants me to have to tell you. 7 00:00:25,506 --> 00:00:27,581 Well, I know I said we should wait. 8 00:00:27,583 --> 00:00:28,884 But, perhaps, if this is... 9 00:00:28,886 --> 00:00:30,886 - (DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES) - (FOOTSTEPS APPROACH) 10 00:00:31,786 --> 00:00:33,786 - Hello, Cob. - COB: Hey. 11 00:00:35,666 --> 00:00:38,945 So sorry I'm late, Rose. Um, child care issues. 12 00:00:38,947 --> 00:00:43,402 (CLEARS THROAT) Well, I would say it's nice to see you both again. 13 00:00:43,404 --> 00:00:46,945 But I suppose I wouldn't be, unless something's happened? 14 00:00:46,947 --> 00:00:50,467 Suzie is not living at the house anymore, Rose. 15 00:00:51,868 --> 00:00:53,329 Oh? 16 00:00:53,331 --> 00:00:55,331 Because... 17 00:00:56,148 --> 00:00:58,148 Um... 18 00:00:59,302 --> 00:01:02,043 Okay, so, um, someone 19 00:01:02,045 --> 00:01:06,347 somehow has... had access to my phone 20 00:01:06,349 --> 00:01:09,724 or hacked my phone 21 00:01:09,726 --> 00:01:13,107 and downloaded... downloaded photos. 22 00:01:13,109 --> 00:01:18,108 And there was a photo of me on there with someone else. Sexually. 23 00:01:18,110 --> 00:01:20,428 Very clearly someone else. 24 00:01:20,430 --> 00:01:22,708 - Right. - COB: Mm-hm. 25 00:01:22,710 --> 00:01:25,131 Gosh. That must be quite a shock. 26 00:01:25,133 --> 00:01:26,434 I'll fucking say. 27 00:01:26,436 --> 00:01:29,566 And... and Cob assumes that that means 28 00:01:29,568 --> 00:01:31,429 that I'm being unfaithful. 29 00:01:31,431 --> 00:01:33,509 Yeah. Mmm. 30 00:01:33,511 --> 00:01:36,406 Why would I... (LAUGHS) Why would I possibly... 31 00:01:36,408 --> 00:01:38,469 Oh! Of course. 32 00:01:38,471 --> 00:01:40,717 I get it, because I'm insane. 33 00:01:40,719 --> 00:01:43,261 Right, because seeing something with your own eyes 34 00:01:43,263 --> 00:01:46,404 has absolutely no meaning, right? 35 00:01:46,406 --> 00:01:48,406 That's... This is gaslighting. 36 00:01:50,632 --> 00:01:53,272 Uh, what's... what's happening with Franky? 37 00:01:54,769 --> 00:01:56,651 - (LAUGHS) - Frank. Um... 38 00:01:56,653 --> 00:01:59,911 So... he's, uh... he's fine. 39 00:01:59,913 --> 00:02:02,791 You know, I mean, I am... 40 00:02:02,793 --> 00:02:04,791 ... I am coming into the house 41 00:02:04,793 --> 00:02:06,831 at, like, 6am to wake him up 42 00:02:06,833 --> 00:02:10,152 and, um... and then leaving 43 00:02:10,154 --> 00:02:12,672 and then coming back at the end of the day. 44 00:02:12,674 --> 00:02:14,674 - I think he's fine. - (COB SNIGGERS) 45 00:02:15,440 --> 00:02:17,101 I think he's fine. 46 00:02:17,103 --> 00:02:19,501 Um, I don't think he realises, you know, 47 00:02:19,503 --> 00:02:22,064 except this weekend when we're going to the convention, but... 48 00:02:22,955 --> 00:02:24,955 COB: Whose cock is it? 49 00:02:26,555 --> 00:02:28,033 Whose cock is it? 50 00:02:28,035 --> 00:02:30,736 It's what we're here for. Let's just... 51 00:02:30,738 --> 00:02:32,597 We're here now. We're there. Whose cock is it? 52 00:02:32,599 --> 00:02:34,771 Suzie, whose cock is it? 53 00:02:34,773 --> 00:02:36,994 - Do you... I mean... - Whose cock is it? Whose cock is it? 54 00:02:36,996 --> 00:02:40,154 Whose cock is it? Whose cock is it? Whose cock is it? Yeah. 55 00:02:40,156 --> 00:02:42,034 - Do you want me to answer that? - Whose cock is it? 56 00:02:42,036 --> 00:02:43,314 - I don't... - Whose cock is it? 57 00:02:43,316 --> 00:02:44,794 Whose fucking cock is it?! 58 00:02:44,796 --> 00:02:46,957 (JAZZY PIANO MUSIC) 59 00:02:46,959 --> 00:02:49,959 - Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com - 60 00:02:51,192 --> 00:02:53,672 (SCRAPING) 61 00:02:55,877 --> 00:02:57,877 (YAWNS) 62 00:02:58,797 --> 00:03:00,798 - WOMAN: I've got it. - Shit. 63 00:03:03,931 --> 00:03:05,632 You don't have to keep giving me your bed. 64 00:03:05,634 --> 00:03:08,653 - I know I don't have to. - It's so cold. 65 00:03:08,655 --> 00:03:10,676 - How long have you been sat there? - I've got a plan. 66 00:03:10,678 --> 00:03:12,317 We go to the convention, as booked, 67 00:03:12,319 --> 00:03:15,153 but our attitude is, "Fuck you, fake news, you lose". 68 00:03:15,155 --> 00:03:16,934 No, that just... that sounds horrific. 69 00:03:16,936 --> 00:03:19,317 But not going makes it look like it's you and you care. 70 00:03:19,319 --> 00:03:21,174 It is me. And I do care. 71 00:03:21,176 --> 00:03:22,917 Let's not dignify it with a response. 72 00:03:22,919 --> 00:03:25,118 No comment from us and it all goes away. 73 00:03:25,120 --> 00:03:27,398 - SUZIE: Hmm. - NAOMI: Mmm. 74 00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:30,532 - I really need my phone. - Yeah, the police still have it. 75 00:03:30,534 --> 00:03:31,655 But you've got this one. 76 00:03:31,657 --> 00:03:35,032 It has all your same contacts and names in it. 77 00:03:35,034 --> 00:03:37,696 It just can't go online, which is good. 78 00:03:37,698 --> 00:03:39,079 Why? What are they saying? 79 00:03:39,081 --> 00:03:41,519 Yeah, you don't need to see that. 80 00:03:41,521 --> 00:03:43,759 Why, is it bad? 81 00:03:43,761 --> 00:03:45,761 - Uh... - Nay? 82 00:03:47,921 --> 00:03:49,759 (GROANS) 83 00:03:49,761 --> 00:03:52,720 But the whole convention is just gonna be sat there, you know. 84 00:03:52,722 --> 00:03:53,920 They're just gonna be sat there 85 00:03:53,922 --> 00:03:55,543 and they're just gonna be looking at my tits 86 00:03:55,545 --> 00:03:57,317 and thinking about me sucking cock. 87 00:03:57,319 --> 00:03:59,240 Yeah, but they always are, babe. 88 00:03:59,242 --> 00:04:01,282 You get dressed. 89 00:04:02,282 --> 00:04:05,003 (THEME MUSIC) 90 00:04:06,443 --> 00:04:09,281 (GLASS SMASHES) 91 00:04:09,283 --> 00:04:10,921 - NAOMI: Are you alright? - Yeah. 92 00:04:10,923 --> 00:04:13,398 Don't forget, no photos or signing anything 93 00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:14,801 until you're on the official table. 94 00:04:14,803 --> 00:04:16,642 We make no reference to the hack at all. 95 00:04:16,644 --> 00:04:19,602 - MAN: Hi, Suzie. - NAOMI: Thanks very much. 96 00:04:19,604 --> 00:04:21,362 - Also, I've cancelled the Q&A. - SUZIE: Hi. 97 00:04:21,364 --> 00:04:23,082 NAOMI: So don't answer any questions. 98 00:04:23,084 --> 00:04:25,139 Look at all these people that love you. 99 00:04:25,141 --> 00:04:26,482 - Thanks. - Hi! 100 00:04:26,484 --> 00:04:27,882 Thanks very much. 101 00:04:27,884 --> 00:04:29,763 - I love you. - Hi. 102 00:04:29,765 --> 00:04:31,883 Okay, that's great. Thank you. 103 00:04:31,885 --> 00:04:33,986 - MAN: Captain Bria! - (SCI-FI SOUNDS EFFECTS PLAY) 104 00:04:33,988 --> 00:04:36,809 We don't mention the real world at all. 105 00:04:36,811 --> 00:04:38,403 Nobody cares here. 106 00:04:38,405 --> 00:04:40,323 - Nobody cares about the photos. - Right. 107 00:04:40,325 --> 00:04:42,604 - All they care about is Captain Bria. - Yeah. 108 00:04:42,606 --> 00:04:43,964 - There's not gonna be a Q&A. - Right. 109 00:04:43,966 --> 00:04:45,124 - Some water? - Oh, thank you. 110 00:04:45,126 --> 00:04:47,941 So just go out there and be a smiley, charming bad-ass 111 00:04:47,943 --> 00:04:49,644 like a bad-ass on bad-ass patrol. 112 00:04:49,646 --> 00:04:52,044 Or don't if you don't want to. Just do what you want. 113 00:04:52,046 --> 00:04:54,458 - Okay. - Also, can you talk about 'AfterDeath' 114 00:04:54,460 --> 00:04:56,181 rather than the sci-fi you did 12 years ago? 115 00:04:56,183 --> 00:04:57,942 - But nobody watches 'AfterDeath'. - Yeah, they do. 116 00:04:57,944 --> 00:04:59,365 Then why do I never meet them? 117 00:04:59,367 --> 00:05:01,405 Because viewing figures don't matter anymore. 118 00:05:01,407 --> 00:05:03,365 Oh, right. It only matters who clicks on it? 119 00:05:03,367 --> 00:05:05,542 Yeah. And, well, that doesn't matter either but... 120 00:05:05,544 --> 00:05:07,926 - So what does matter? - Excuse me, they're ready for you. 121 00:05:07,928 --> 00:05:10,086 - Shh. Okay. Let's go. - Okay. Great. Yeah. 122 00:05:10,088 --> 00:05:11,126 Thank you. 123 00:05:11,128 --> 00:05:13,086 Okay, let's welcome to the stage 124 00:05:13,088 --> 00:05:15,262 the real Captain Bria, Suzie Pickles! 125 00:05:15,264 --> 00:05:16,863 - Anything hanging out my nose? - No, you're good. 126 00:05:16,865 --> 00:05:18,526 - Are you sure? - You're good. 127 00:05:18,528 --> 00:05:21,329 (WILD CHEERING) 128 00:05:24,009 --> 00:05:25,367 Thank you! 129 00:05:25,369 --> 00:05:28,129 Shall I go this way or this way? Hi! 130 00:05:33,570 --> 00:05:35,288 Here's your mic. 131 00:05:35,290 --> 00:05:36,768 Thank you. 132 00:05:36,770 --> 00:05:39,688 - Welcome along. - Shall I just hold this like this? 133 00:05:39,690 --> 00:05:41,762 - Yeah, however you like. - Like, I think that's normal? 134 00:05:41,764 --> 00:05:43,585 Yeah. (LAUGHS) That's fine. Um, alright. 135 00:05:43,587 --> 00:05:47,066 So, you all know our Suzie from her varied career, of course. 136 00:05:47,068 --> 00:05:48,489 From 'Quo Vadis'... 137 00:05:48,491 --> 00:05:50,491 (ALL CHEER) 138 00:05:51,731 --> 00:05:53,729 ... and more recent stuff as well, 139 00:05:53,731 --> 00:05:55,232 uh, the soap stuff... 140 00:05:55,234 --> 00:05:57,289 - Yeah. But we don't mention that. - Alright. 141 00:05:57,291 --> 00:06:00,450 And, of course, 'AfterDeath', which is on streaming now. 142 00:06:00,452 --> 00:06:05,250 Yeah, that's right. And who doesn't love Nazi zombies? 143 00:06:05,252 --> 00:06:06,513 - Right. - (LAUGHTER) 144 00:06:06,515 --> 00:06:09,050 Okay, so usually we do a Q&A format. 145 00:06:09,052 --> 00:06:11,491 Uh, I think, today we're just gonna have a conversation between us... 146 00:06:11,493 --> 00:06:13,091 (CROWD GRUMBLES) Aww... 147 00:06:13,093 --> 00:06:15,813 - Oh, no, the masses are revolting! - (LAUGHS) 148 00:06:17,093 --> 00:06:20,171 They've queued for hours to talk to you, Captain Bria. 149 00:06:20,173 --> 00:06:21,891 MAN: Come on, do it. You promised! 150 00:06:21,893 --> 00:06:23,932 (AUDIENCE CLAPS AND CHANTS) Do it! Do it! Do it! 151 00:06:23,934 --> 00:06:26,229 Uh, no, no, no. I love Q&A. No, I love Q&A... 152 00:06:26,231 --> 00:06:28,092 - (WHISTLING) - I wanna, you know... 153 00:06:28,094 --> 00:06:29,692 - I wanna talk directly to them. - Yeah? 154 00:06:29,694 --> 00:06:32,075 - You know, I... I love you guys. - (CHEERING) 155 00:06:32,077 --> 00:06:34,852 - Alright, great! - Whoo! 156 00:06:34,854 --> 00:06:36,870 Uh, let's go to some questions, then. 157 00:06:36,872 --> 00:06:39,093 The mic's out there somewhere. 158 00:06:39,095 --> 00:06:41,493 Uh, yeah, guy with the beard. 159 00:06:41,495 --> 00:06:43,373 Uh, no. Uh, no. 160 00:06:43,375 --> 00:06:45,293 Yeah, you. There you go. Yeah. 161 00:06:45,295 --> 00:06:47,413 (FEEDBACK WHINES) 162 00:06:47,415 --> 00:06:49,694 - Hi, Suzie. - Hello! How are you? 163 00:06:49,696 --> 00:06:51,974 - I love your top. - Oh, thank you, Suzie. 164 00:06:51,976 --> 00:06:53,414 (LAUGHS) 165 00:06:53,416 --> 00:06:58,494 In 'Quo Vadis', your character dies at the end of the series. 166 00:06:58,496 --> 00:07:00,957 But if she did that, 167 00:07:00,959 --> 00:07:02,721 Captain Bria couldn't go back 168 00:07:02,723 --> 00:07:07,624 to where we found her in the first episode on the ship. 169 00:07:07,626 --> 00:07:08,815 Um... 170 00:07:08,817 --> 00:07:12,777 Uh, it would make sense if it was in a different dimension. 171 00:07:13,977 --> 00:07:16,936 Yeah, it would. And I've never closed down that reading. 172 00:07:16,938 --> 00:07:21,216 But, you know, if I'm, um... if I'm just really honest, 173 00:07:21,218 --> 00:07:22,576 I was just thinking about 174 00:07:22,578 --> 00:07:24,536 getting into that bloody catsuit every week. 175 00:07:24,538 --> 00:07:26,233 - I mean jumpsuit. - Jumpsuit. Yeah. 176 00:07:26,235 --> 00:07:29,897 Um, well, it is funny you should mention the jumpsuit, Suzie, 177 00:07:29,899 --> 00:07:32,817 because we did a little research mission of our own. 178 00:07:32,819 --> 00:07:33,833 Yep. 179 00:07:33,835 --> 00:07:36,598 And we found the jumpsuit from 'Quo Vadis'. 180 00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:39,097 - (WHOOPING AND CHEERING) - Um, yeah, the real one. 181 00:07:39,099 --> 00:07:41,355 - So let's bring it out. - You're joking. 182 00:07:41,357 --> 00:07:43,818 Here we go. There it is. 183 00:07:43,820 --> 00:07:46,361 - Look at it. - Is it actually the real one? 184 00:07:46,363 --> 00:07:49,258 It's the real one from the archives, yeah. 185 00:07:49,260 --> 00:07:51,338 Oh. Do you need a moment? 186 00:07:51,340 --> 00:07:52,978 - I just remember the smell! - (AUDIENCE CALLS OUT) 187 00:07:52,980 --> 00:07:54,779 Alright, well, lots of other questions 188 00:07:54,781 --> 00:07:57,779 whilst you reacquaint yourself with the jumpsuit. 189 00:07:57,781 --> 00:08:01,539 So, uh, yes, the lady on the side. 190 00:08:01,541 --> 00:08:03,219 - Hi, Suzie. - SUZIE: Hi. 191 00:08:03,221 --> 00:08:06,140 Hi. I'm so sorry to hear about those pictures. 192 00:08:06,142 --> 00:08:08,300 It's such an invasion of privacy. 193 00:08:08,302 --> 00:08:10,620 I can't even imagine. 194 00:08:10,622 --> 00:08:12,780 But it's great to see you here today. 195 00:08:12,782 --> 00:08:14,940 Thank you so much. 196 00:08:14,942 --> 00:08:17,060 So how have you been coping? 197 00:08:17,062 --> 00:08:19,063 Yeah, um... 198 00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:21,644 - RAPTOR: Yeah. - Yeah... 199 00:08:21,646 --> 00:08:23,021 - I... I... I don't... - Can we move it along? 200 00:08:23,023 --> 00:08:25,781 I don't really think this is the venue. In fact, I... 201 00:08:25,783 --> 00:08:27,181 - Can I just take this... - Yeah. 202 00:08:27,183 --> 00:08:28,581 ... moment to... before we get started? 203 00:08:28,583 --> 00:08:30,261 - Yes, of course you can. - Okay. Um... 204 00:08:30,263 --> 00:08:32,996 (CLEARS THROAT) So, um... 205 00:08:32,998 --> 00:08:35,579 Look, I just wanted to say that there are... 206 00:08:35,581 --> 00:08:42,422 ... there were some photos posted online last week, 207 00:08:42,424 --> 00:08:45,986 um... supposedly of me, 208 00:08:45,988 --> 00:08:49,663 stolen from me in some mass hack, 209 00:08:49,665 --> 00:08:52,183 and I just wanna say that even though I have no issue 210 00:08:52,185 --> 00:08:56,463 with whatever it is that person's supposed to be doing in the photo... 211 00:08:56,465 --> 00:08:59,984 (LAUGHS) Um, it's not me. No. 212 00:08:59,986 --> 00:09:02,504 I mean, I wish I was that thin. 213 00:09:02,506 --> 00:09:05,106 - WOMAN: It's not a fake. - No, it's a fake. 214 00:09:06,146 --> 00:09:08,118 You know 'Black Mirror'? 215 00:09:08,120 --> 00:09:10,962 It's very 'Black Mirror-y'. Whatever. We're all doomed. 216 00:09:10,964 --> 00:09:14,785 Anyway, I just... I just wanted to put that to bed, you know. 217 00:09:14,787 --> 00:09:19,239 And, um, I don't know, if there's anything to take away from today, 218 00:09:19,241 --> 00:09:23,263 um, don't wank to lies, kids. 219 00:09:23,265 --> 00:09:26,466 - (SCATTERED CHEERING) - RAPTOR: Yes. Uh, good advice. 220 00:09:26,468 --> 00:09:28,146 (APPLAUSE AND CHEERING) 221 00:09:28,148 --> 00:09:30,306 Yes, thank you for that. Alright, uh... 222 00:09:30,308 --> 00:09:32,106 - Sorry, that was a bit blue. - No, that's fine. 223 00:09:32,108 --> 00:09:35,626 It's completely understandable you would say it wasn't you, 224 00:09:35,628 --> 00:09:38,067 but there are other details in the pictures. 225 00:09:38,069 --> 00:09:40,684 Uh, like the necklace you were wearing, uh, for example. 226 00:09:40,686 --> 00:09:41,732 (AUDIENCE MEMBERS BOO) 227 00:09:41,734 --> 00:09:44,026 I mean, which you've worn it on other occasions. 228 00:09:44,028 --> 00:09:45,827 - Yeah, I don't think... - Can we move it along, please? 229 00:09:45,829 --> 00:09:47,947 - I'm just giving you an opportunity. - ... to be talking about this. 230 00:09:47,949 --> 00:09:48,971 This feels very... 231 00:09:48,973 --> 00:09:51,508 Because it is a penis of colour in the pictures... 232 00:09:51,510 --> 00:09:53,868 - Jesus! - You know what? I... Oh, my God. 233 00:09:53,870 --> 00:09:54,900 Yeah, okay. That's enough. 234 00:09:54,902 --> 00:09:57,308 Is that the reason why you're trying to distance yourself... 235 00:09:57,310 --> 00:09:59,828 Sorry, I was just... 236 00:09:59,830 --> 00:10:02,549 I was just wondering if I could still fit into this. 237 00:10:02,551 --> 00:10:05,629 - (CHEERING) - Yes! Are we insured for that? 238 00:10:05,631 --> 00:10:07,629 Well, I guess I'm doing it. 239 00:10:07,631 --> 00:10:10,989 Alright, off she goes to change into the jumpsuit. 240 00:10:10,991 --> 00:10:13,149 - Very shortly she'll be back. - I'll see you in a second. 241 00:10:13,151 --> 00:10:15,150 - See you in a second. - Maybe a minute. Who knows? 242 00:10:15,152 --> 00:10:16,750 - What the fuck? - That's what you came for. 243 00:10:16,752 --> 00:10:19,070 Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! 244 00:10:19,072 --> 00:10:21,470 They should just chuck her out. 245 00:10:21,472 --> 00:10:23,390 Stand up. 246 00:10:23,392 --> 00:10:26,069 - I said don't do questions. - They... they just sat there. 247 00:10:26,071 --> 00:10:27,471 They just sat there waiting. 248 00:10:27,473 --> 00:10:28,991 I can't wear this. It'll make me panic. 249 00:10:28,993 --> 00:10:30,391 - Get it off. - We'll take it off. 250 00:10:30,393 --> 00:10:31,631 Can you take this, please? 251 00:10:31,633 --> 00:10:34,633 (CHEERING AND WHISTLING) 252 00:10:35,873 --> 00:10:37,913 NAOMI: You're looking good, babe. 253 00:10:41,234 --> 00:10:42,952 RAPTOR: Here she is! 254 00:10:42,954 --> 00:10:45,472 Sorry, it's a bit... it's a bit tight. 255 00:10:45,474 --> 00:10:49,192 I actually can't breathe in this. (LAUGHS) 256 00:10:49,194 --> 00:10:54,033 I feel really self-conscious that I've got camel toe. 257 00:10:54,035 --> 00:10:57,035 (FUNKY MUSIC PLAYS) 258 00:11:03,515 --> 00:11:06,556 (PHONE BUZZES AND PLAYS RINGTONE) 259 00:11:09,276 --> 00:11:12,194 SONG: ♪ Ah, dance ♪ 260 00:11:12,196 --> 00:11:14,554 ♪ Make your body move ♪ 261 00:11:14,556 --> 00:11:16,234 ♪ Dance... ♪ 262 00:11:16,236 --> 00:11:19,237 (SONG CONTINUES PLAYING) 263 00:11:20,837 --> 00:11:22,635 - MAN: Excuse me. - Sorry. 264 00:11:22,637 --> 00:11:24,595 I'm so sorry. 265 00:11:24,597 --> 00:11:26,075 Why? What have you done? 266 00:11:26,077 --> 00:11:29,077 Are you here selling your soul too? 267 00:11:30,975 --> 00:11:33,916 What on earth is that phone? You're not a dealer, are you? 268 00:11:33,918 --> 00:11:36,756 My other phone's in police custody. 269 00:11:36,758 --> 00:11:38,916 Liquid sustenance, please! 270 00:11:38,918 --> 00:11:40,733 You made a sex tape? What happened? 271 00:11:40,735 --> 00:11:43,797 So, okay, so... so one of the girls' mums finds the tape 272 00:11:43,799 --> 00:11:46,477 hidden in the bottom of the wardrobe, she digs it out, 273 00:11:46,479 --> 00:11:49,757 she, of course, goes fucking ballistic and spare, 274 00:11:49,759 --> 00:11:53,631 and then the girls denied it and said that I forced them to do it 275 00:11:53,633 --> 00:11:55,754 and that they never wanted to do a threesome 276 00:11:55,756 --> 00:11:57,998 even though they were laughing the whole way through. 277 00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:01,175 And so the mother then wrote to my agent. 278 00:12:01,177 --> 00:12:04,318 I can't... I don't even remember hearing about that. 279 00:12:04,320 --> 00:12:06,398 Yeah, this is way pre-internet. 280 00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:08,078 I bought the family a conservatory. 281 00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:10,319 A conservatory. Fuck. 282 00:12:10,321 --> 00:12:12,256 But don't you... don't you worry about that now? 283 00:12:12,258 --> 00:12:14,119 It coming out? 284 00:12:14,121 --> 00:12:16,336 Yeah. Are you kidding? Absolutely. 285 00:12:16,338 --> 00:12:17,639 Thank you. 286 00:12:17,641 --> 00:12:20,121 And that's why I live my life as a saint. 287 00:12:21,575 --> 00:12:22,957 I'm a good boy. 288 00:12:22,959 --> 00:12:25,600 Which is pretty brutal for me actually because I'm freshly divorced 289 00:12:25,602 --> 00:12:28,040 and I'm in this fantasy franchise, so it's like... 290 00:12:28,042 --> 00:12:30,320 Yeah. I'm sorry. 291 00:12:30,322 --> 00:12:31,840 You're very sweet. 292 00:12:31,842 --> 00:12:33,594 - I'm really sorry. - Cheers. 293 00:12:33,596 --> 00:12:35,698 I'm with Suzie Pickles. Naomi Jones. 294 00:12:35,700 --> 00:12:37,561 Do you mind if I, uh... 295 00:12:37,563 --> 00:12:39,064 Hello. Hi. 296 00:12:39,066 --> 00:12:41,417 - Naomi Jones. This is Suzie Pickles. - Let her in. She's with me. 297 00:12:41,419 --> 00:12:42,442 Yeah, see? 298 00:12:42,444 --> 00:12:45,138 Suz, we need to talk about what happened at the Q&A. 299 00:12:45,140 --> 00:12:46,441 - We should stay. - Hmm? 300 00:12:46,443 --> 00:12:48,922 We have to stay. It's so nice here. 301 00:12:48,924 --> 00:12:50,922 Because it's filled with people who've built shrines to you. 302 00:12:50,924 --> 00:12:54,122 - It's like a big womb. - No, I think we need to debrief, no? 303 00:12:54,124 --> 00:12:55,842 Is that, um, Benjamin Detroit? 304 00:12:55,844 --> 00:12:57,322 He plays that wizard guy... 305 00:12:57,324 --> 00:12:59,122 - Does Milo operate up here? - Who reps him? 306 00:12:59,124 --> 00:13:00,362 - Rude. - Milo? 307 00:13:00,364 --> 00:13:02,843 - Milo had a seizure in Barcelona. - Okay, there's always other Milos. 308 00:13:02,845 --> 00:13:05,780 There's always alternative Milos. Please, please, let's get fucked. 309 00:13:05,782 --> 00:13:08,403 - Please. Look at my life! - Doesn't he have a coke problem? 310 00:13:08,405 --> 00:13:11,683 - Yes, in that we don't have any coke. - Ugh. 311 00:13:11,685 --> 00:13:13,686 (RAIN PATTERS) 312 00:13:17,566 --> 00:13:19,566 (EXHALES) 313 00:13:21,005 --> 00:13:29,005 _ 314 00:13:29,007 --> 00:13:33,007 _ 315 00:13:34,806 --> 00:13:36,806 _ 316 00:13:38,007 --> 00:13:40,648 - MAN: How's this fella doing? - (MAN LAUGHS) 317 00:13:42,017 --> 00:13:43,317 _ 318 00:13:45,193 --> 00:13:53,047 _ 319 00:13:53,049 --> 00:13:54,747 SUZIE: I didn't realise you already had coke. 320 00:13:54,749 --> 00:13:57,487 I should ring Naomi and tell her not to get any more. 321 00:13:57,489 --> 00:13:59,647 Yeah, because the... the thing about... the great thing about coke 322 00:13:59,649 --> 00:14:02,367 is... is it's like you never wanna do any more. 323 00:14:02,369 --> 00:14:06,528 Right, this... this... this is very special local stuff. 324 00:14:06,530 --> 00:14:08,951 Apparently you have to do it in a certain way. 325 00:14:08,953 --> 00:14:11,088 An old Mexican guy told me. 326 00:14:11,090 --> 00:14:12,968 - A Mexican man? - A Mexican man. 327 00:14:12,970 --> 00:14:15,088 - A Mexican man in Birmingham? - Yes. 328 00:14:15,090 --> 00:14:16,568 - Indian. - Yes. 329 00:14:16,570 --> 00:14:18,889 Mexican-Indian man in Birmingham. 330 00:14:18,891 --> 00:14:21,689 - So... - Yes. 331 00:14:21,691 --> 00:14:23,809 - You are going to bend over... - Yeah. 332 00:14:23,811 --> 00:14:28,185 ... and, um, I'm going to lick your ass while you do it. 333 00:14:28,187 --> 00:14:29,769 (SUZIE LAUGHS) 334 00:14:29,771 --> 00:14:32,170 That's how it has to be. That's the way to do it. 335 00:14:32,172 --> 00:14:33,450 - Really? - Yeah. 336 00:14:33,452 --> 00:14:35,450 - That's it, is it? - Yeah. I don't make the rules. 337 00:14:35,452 --> 00:14:37,153 Well, it seems like you might. 338 00:14:37,155 --> 00:14:38,970 - Ah! - Okay. 339 00:14:38,972 --> 00:14:41,450 So you... so then you... That's gotta be... 340 00:14:41,452 --> 00:14:43,211 - Okay, right. - Well, you have to take them. 341 00:14:43,213 --> 00:14:45,411 Let me. I'll do it, though, because I've got the tights. 342 00:14:45,413 --> 00:14:47,091 - No hands. - The tights. 343 00:14:47,093 --> 00:14:48,811 - I can handle tights if you need help. - _ 344 00:14:48,813 --> 00:14:50,731 - Just wait! (LAUGHS) - I'm not touching you. 345 00:14:50,733 --> 00:14:52,771 I won't touch you. I'm not going to do any... 346 00:14:52,773 --> 00:14:54,931 - All I'm going to do is... - Okay, I'm ready. I'm ready. 347 00:14:54,933 --> 00:14:56,646 - You need to raise it up a bit. - Ahh! 348 00:14:56,648 --> 00:14:58,349 I need to see a bit more action. 349 00:14:58,351 --> 00:15:00,092 Good. Ready? You tell me when you're ready. 350 00:15:00,094 --> 00:15:02,092 Tell me when you're ready. Tell me when you're ready. 351 00:15:02,094 --> 00:15:04,012 - Tell me when you're ready. - I'm ready. I'm ready. 352 00:15:04,014 --> 00:15:05,892 - I'm putting my... - Hang on! Okay, ready. 353 00:15:05,894 --> 00:15:07,892 - I have protective eyewear. - I'm ready. I'm ready. 354 00:15:07,894 --> 00:15:09,413 - Three, two, one. Go. - Go! Go! 355 00:15:09,415 --> 00:15:11,415 - (SNORTS) - (SCREAMS) 356 00:15:13,735 --> 00:15:15,653 I barely touched you. 357 00:15:15,655 --> 00:15:17,533 (TYRES SCREECH) 358 00:15:17,535 --> 00:15:19,230 SONG ON CAR STEREO: ♪ It's unnatural ♪ 359 00:15:19,232 --> 00:15:21,374 ♪ You belong to me ♪ 360 00:15:21,376 --> 00:15:23,174 ♪ I belong to you... ♪ 361 00:15:23,176 --> 00:15:25,814 - Hiya. - WOMAN: Hiya. 362 00:15:25,816 --> 00:15:28,174 I'm here to meet you? I'm Naomi. 363 00:15:28,176 --> 00:15:30,054 I thought I was picking up from Tarek. 364 00:15:30,056 --> 00:15:32,534 - (TYRES SCREECH) - Okay, you're driving away. 365 00:15:32,536 --> 00:15:34,935 Yeah, yeah. What has to happen is we have to drive round. 366 00:15:34,937 --> 00:15:35,936 Okay. 367 00:15:35,938 --> 00:15:38,455 I can't park or nothing, what with cameras. Better to drive round. 368 00:15:38,457 --> 00:15:39,855 - Okay, where are we actually... - (HORN HONKS) 369 00:15:39,857 --> 00:15:42,097 - Fuck off! Hang on. - Okay. 370 00:15:43,097 --> 00:15:44,935 Um, if there's anything you want me to... 371 00:15:44,937 --> 00:15:46,816 Can I... can I do anything? Maybe I could... 372 00:15:46,818 --> 00:15:49,750 - Yeah, count the money. - I know how much I have. 373 00:15:49,752 --> 00:15:51,353 Yeah, but count it in front of me. 374 00:15:51,355 --> 00:15:53,856 In... in front of your face? While you're driving? 375 00:15:53,858 --> 00:15:56,256 If you count it next to me, I'll know how much there is. 376 00:15:56,258 --> 00:16:00,497 Right. 20, 40, 60, 100. 377 00:16:00,499 --> 00:16:03,257 I've only got 20s. 120. 378 00:16:03,259 --> 00:16:04,777 Uh, I don't suppose you do change? 379 00:16:04,779 --> 00:16:07,154 I don't know where he's fucking put it. Ohh! 380 00:16:07,156 --> 00:16:09,657 - Where's he put the fucking gear? - Okay. 381 00:16:09,659 --> 00:16:11,657 Can you just hold the wheel for a minute, babe? 382 00:16:11,659 --> 00:16:13,098 - Oh, my God, hold the... - (HORN HONKS) 383 00:16:13,100 --> 00:16:17,618 Ohh! Can you see in the back if there's, like, a... like, a wallet? 384 00:16:17,620 --> 00:16:21,241 A... a wallet. Uh, no. 385 00:16:21,243 --> 00:16:23,378 He's not fucking put it where he said he would! 386 00:16:23,380 --> 00:16:25,819 I'm gonna have to call that lying fucker now! 387 00:16:25,821 --> 00:16:27,819 Making me look like a twat again! 388 00:16:27,821 --> 00:16:29,821 Oh, wait. 389 00:16:31,141 --> 00:16:32,339 Oh, it's in me bra. 390 00:16:32,341 --> 00:16:34,459 - Okay. - It's in me bra! (LAUGHS) 391 00:16:34,461 --> 00:16:37,897 - It's in your bra. Ah. - I put it there before I came out. 392 00:16:37,899 --> 00:16:41,980 - Oh, I'm a fucking idiot, man! - Ah. 393 00:16:41,982 --> 00:16:43,620 - Here it is, babe. - Yes. 394 00:16:43,622 --> 00:16:44,740 - Swap ya. - Thank you. 395 00:16:44,742 --> 00:16:47,100 - Nice. Nice. - NAOMI: Fuck me. 396 00:16:47,102 --> 00:16:48,700 - (THUD!) - (SIGHS) 397 00:16:48,702 --> 00:16:50,500 So where do you want dropping? 398 00:16:50,502 --> 00:16:52,261 Ahh... 399 00:16:52,263 --> 00:16:55,261 And it's just like, ahh! 400 00:16:55,263 --> 00:16:57,101 And there's me just holding it. 401 00:16:57,103 --> 00:16:59,261 - (BOTH LAUGH) - SONG: ♪ To the left... ♪ 402 00:16:59,263 --> 00:17:00,861 (KNOCK AT DOOR) 403 00:17:00,863 --> 00:17:03,542 - ♪ To the right... ♪ - Okay, um... 404 00:17:03,544 --> 00:17:05,639 - Alright, fuck. - Wow. 405 00:17:05,641 --> 00:17:07,382 - Okay, fuck! - Wow. 406 00:17:07,384 --> 00:17:10,304 Don't tell Naomi we've already done cocaine. 407 00:17:12,424 --> 00:17:14,864 - Hey! - Hey. 408 00:17:16,665 --> 00:17:17,943 BENJAMIN: Chop, chop. 409 00:17:17,945 --> 00:17:20,663 - 'Room 405'. There you go. - Oh, yes! 410 00:17:20,665 --> 00:17:23,423 - Whee! - Hey. Benjamin Detroit. 411 00:17:23,425 --> 00:17:26,483 - I'm Naomi with the drugs. - Naomi with the drugs. 412 00:17:26,485 --> 00:17:28,526 I can't believe you already had coke. 413 00:17:28,528 --> 00:17:30,504 No, hey, no worries, it's just like, you know, 414 00:17:30,506 --> 00:17:32,504 it's the good stuff, the best stuff, the greatest stuff. 415 00:17:32,506 --> 00:17:34,759 And you start with the red wine, like Jesus did, 416 00:17:34,761 --> 00:17:35,787 then you move onto the... 417 00:17:35,789 --> 00:17:37,624 Uh, can I have your phone to go online? 418 00:17:37,626 --> 00:17:39,584 - Okay, you... you have a phone. - No, I need it. 419 00:17:39,586 --> 00:17:41,182 I want to show Ben the pictures. 420 00:17:41,184 --> 00:17:43,025 I just want to show him the pictures. 421 00:17:43,027 --> 00:17:44,442 - No, babe. - (MOCKINGLY) "Oh, no, babe". 422 00:17:44,444 --> 00:17:46,465 "No, babe. No, babe!" 423 00:17:46,467 --> 00:17:49,305 You know, I'm 30-fucking-5 and married with a kid. 424 00:17:49,307 --> 00:17:51,262 Uh, you're 36. And not for long. 425 00:17:51,264 --> 00:17:53,125 Oh, my God, she let reality into the room. 426 00:17:53,127 --> 00:17:54,906 We've... we've gotta... we've gotta protect the room from this woman. 427 00:17:54,908 --> 00:17:56,466 Yeah, the room is really important. 428 00:17:56,468 --> 00:17:59,026 The room's like international waters, that everything's in the room. 429 00:17:59,028 --> 00:18:01,786 - Do you wanna maybe, you know... - No, we can't go. We're staying. 430 00:18:01,788 --> 00:18:03,106 Right, well, I'm fucking freezing 431 00:18:03,108 --> 00:18:04,706 because I've been outside for, like, an hour. 432 00:18:04,708 --> 00:18:06,146 Yeah, good idea. Get into bed... 433 00:18:06,148 --> 00:18:08,787 You know, he used to be in, like, all of these romantic comedies. 434 00:18:08,789 --> 00:18:10,227 - She hates all this shit. - Does she? 435 00:18:10,229 --> 00:18:12,564 - NAOMI: No, I don't. - Rom-coms, chick flicks... 436 00:18:12,566 --> 00:18:13,907 I hate that they're called that. 437 00:18:13,909 --> 00:18:16,227 - Anyway, he gets letters from teens. - They're a legitimate art form. 438 00:18:16,229 --> 00:18:18,027 - Thank you very much. - Uh, no. 439 00:18:18,029 --> 00:18:20,744 They are male propaganda trying to convince women 440 00:18:20,746 --> 00:18:23,287 that romantic love is their responsibility and desire, 441 00:18:23,289 --> 00:18:24,525 when actually it's just straight men 442 00:18:24,527 --> 00:18:25,788 trying to convince us that we need them. 443 00:18:25,790 --> 00:18:26,828 - So, wait... - There she is. 444 00:18:26,830 --> 00:18:29,225 - I mean, can you believe it? - Wait. Wait, wait, wait! 445 00:18:29,227 --> 00:18:31,348 So, what, rom-coms are propaganda? Or love is? 446 00:18:31,350 --> 00:18:35,069 Both. Ask yourself, as Marx did, who benefits? 447 00:18:35,071 --> 00:18:37,466 I mean, she... she hasn't even had coke yet, so... 448 00:18:37,468 --> 00:18:39,869 Love is just a way of getting women to put aside their own needs. 449 00:18:39,871 --> 00:18:41,789 Okay, well, that's my career fucked, then, 450 00:18:41,791 --> 00:18:43,799 because romantic comedies don't even 451 00:18:43,801 --> 00:18:45,629 employ white guys anymore anyway. 452 00:18:45,631 --> 00:18:48,030 Oh, my God. Okay. Is this guy a bit of a dick? 453 00:18:48,032 --> 00:18:49,890 - No. No, he's fine. I like him. - What?! 454 00:18:49,892 --> 00:18:51,399 Thank you. You know, hey, hey, 455 00:18:51,401 --> 00:18:53,407 so Suz says that you're into girls. 456 00:18:53,409 --> 00:18:55,110 - Okay. Jesus, Suz. - What? Oh, what? 457 00:18:55,112 --> 00:18:57,230 So, we're not allowed facts anymore? 458 00:18:57,232 --> 00:18:59,114 I just hate you, like, pimping my bi. 459 00:18:59,116 --> 00:19:01,047 So, Naomi lives in this great way now 460 00:19:01,049 --> 00:19:02,828 since she... since she broke up with her ex. 461 00:19:02,830 --> 00:19:04,951 - Can I call her your ex? - Call her what you fucking like. 462 00:19:04,953 --> 00:19:09,351 So, she goes from, like, Airbnb to Airbnb all over London 463 00:19:09,353 --> 00:19:12,025 like she's on this permanent fucking holiday. 464 00:19:12,027 --> 00:19:14,708 A permanent fucking holiday where I work for you all the time, babe. 465 00:19:14,710 --> 00:19:18,032 - I love London. Fucking love it. - I fucking love London! 466 00:19:18,034 --> 00:19:20,752 - It is proper. It is the real deal. - I love it. 467 00:19:20,754 --> 00:19:24,570 Thank you. Uh, so, what, you just go everywhere, fuck everyone? 468 00:19:24,572 --> 00:19:26,633 No, being bi doesn't mean you sleep with everyone. 469 00:19:26,635 --> 00:19:28,353 It just means you can be choosy. 470 00:19:28,355 --> 00:19:30,810 - I would fuck you. - Oh, no, you wouldn't, Suz. 471 00:19:30,812 --> 00:19:31,913 That's not being bi, 472 00:19:31,915 --> 00:19:34,153 that is being a straight woman who's too eager to please. 473 00:19:34,155 --> 00:19:36,724 - Cringe. - Wow! Not the vibe. 474 00:19:36,726 --> 00:19:37,908 Really not the vibe. 475 00:19:37,910 --> 00:19:40,634 It's okay 'cause what Naomi neglects to mention 476 00:19:40,636 --> 00:19:43,274 is that this whole crowdsourcing-a-home approach 477 00:19:43,276 --> 00:19:46,291 is because she still pays the mortgage, right? 478 00:19:46,293 --> 00:19:47,839 Won't ask her ex to move out 479 00:19:47,841 --> 00:19:50,279 - even though she owns most of the house. - Of the two of us, 480 00:19:50,281 --> 00:19:53,115 who is staying on whose fucking floor? Huh? 481 00:19:53,117 --> 00:19:55,135 Hey, guys, it's the womb room. It's the womb room. 482 00:19:55,137 --> 00:19:57,035 - It's like a womb. Look at the sofa. - She's right. 483 00:19:57,037 --> 00:19:58,635 - It's red, it's warm... - She's fucking right. 484 00:19:58,637 --> 00:20:00,395 I mean, what is gonna... 485 00:20:00,397 --> 00:20:02,876 - BENJAMIN: Come on, man. - Seriously, what is gonna happen? 486 00:20:02,878 --> 00:20:04,476 Suz, now is not the time. 487 00:20:04,478 --> 00:20:06,356 Hey, there's nothing you can do about this now. 488 00:20:06,358 --> 00:20:07,813 - No, at home. With Cob. - I know. 489 00:20:07,815 --> 00:20:09,956 - We'll sort it. - Yes. With Cob. 490 00:20:09,958 --> 00:20:13,076 I can't leave, can I? I can't leave because I've... 491 00:20:13,078 --> 00:20:17,328 No, Ben. Because I've got a... I've got a kid. I've got a kid. 492 00:20:17,330 --> 00:20:19,291 - I've got a fucking medicine cabinet. - Sit down. 493 00:20:19,293 --> 00:20:21,757 Okay, listen. Okay. This is... this is the thing. 494 00:20:21,759 --> 00:20:23,557 You cannot do anything about any of this now. 495 00:20:23,559 --> 00:20:25,797 This is very important. Okay, old hand. 496 00:20:25,799 --> 00:20:29,055 So whatever you do, you do not move out of the family home. 497 00:20:29,057 --> 00:20:31,455 Fucked me with my second wife. And for custody. 498 00:20:31,457 --> 00:20:33,778 Yeah, I... I agree. I know I'm a hypocrite. 499 00:20:33,780 --> 00:20:35,318 But you're the mother. You bought the house. 500 00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:36,798 - Cob has to leave. - I did buy the house. 501 00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:38,478 - You know what is really important? - Yeah? 502 00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:40,958 You wait. See, what is really important is this Birmingham coke. 503 00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:44,262 And the... the very specific way that you must do it. 504 00:20:44,264 --> 00:20:45,325 There is. 505 00:20:45,327 --> 00:20:48,439 Which you, Naomi with the drugs are unaware of. 506 00:20:48,441 --> 00:20:50,759 - Way? - Oh, look, she's gonna chill there. 507 00:20:50,761 --> 00:20:54,720 Um, you... Well, first of all, you need to take your pants off. 508 00:20:54,722 --> 00:20:56,722 (NAOMI AND BEN LAUGH) 509 00:21:07,003 --> 00:21:09,681 (SLOWED-DOWN VERSION OF 'BYE-BYE BABY' BY MARILYN MONROE) 510 00:21:09,683 --> 00:21:13,201 - SONG: ♪ I'll be in my room... ♪ - I love you. 511 00:21:13,203 --> 00:21:15,683 NAOMI: Oh, it's burning. 512 00:21:16,803 --> 00:21:18,803 (SNORTS) 513 00:21:20,524 --> 00:21:23,722 SUZIE: Is this what you want?! Is it?! 514 00:21:23,724 --> 00:21:27,722 Well, have it! Have it all! 515 00:21:27,724 --> 00:21:31,202 Huh! I met my... I met my exercise goal! 516 00:21:31,204 --> 00:21:32,500 Goal! 517 00:21:32,502 --> 00:21:33,803 Well, that's a big achievement 518 00:21:33,805 --> 00:21:35,203 considering you haven't been anywhere. 519 00:21:35,205 --> 00:21:36,723 Listen, I've been thinking. 520 00:21:36,725 --> 00:21:39,123 Let's look at the pictures and everything else. 521 00:21:39,125 --> 00:21:42,323 - No. Now is not the right time. - Let it wash over me as part of life. 522 00:21:42,325 --> 00:21:44,083 - No, no. - No, it is. (GIGGLES) 523 00:21:44,085 --> 00:21:46,164 - We're in prison. - This is a fun time! 524 00:21:46,166 --> 00:21:47,564 - Ahh! - No, this is the best time. 525 00:21:47,566 --> 00:21:49,204 I'm with people that I feel safe with. 526 00:21:49,206 --> 00:21:50,884 You know, like when you do LSD... 527 00:21:50,886 --> 00:21:54,044 - Benjamin, you totally understand... - Yes. Yes. I understand all of ya. 528 00:21:54,046 --> 00:21:55,541 - And you. - NAOMI: Yeah. 529 00:21:55,543 --> 00:21:59,165 You've been friends with me since we were in the womb. 530 00:21:59,167 --> 00:22:03,165 We're now... we're now in the womb room. 531 00:22:03,167 --> 00:22:04,388 NAOMI AND BEN: Ooh! 532 00:22:04,390 --> 00:22:06,862 So, basically, I won this, like, talent competition. 533 00:22:06,864 --> 00:22:11,206 Yeah, when I was, like, 15. Yeah. And... whatever. 534 00:22:11,208 --> 00:22:13,526 Like, my parents were just, you know, were into their own... 535 00:22:13,528 --> 00:22:15,446 - (NAOMI LAUGHS) - They're into their own thing. 536 00:22:15,448 --> 00:22:19,566 And Naomi was doing her A-Levels because she's fucking smart. 537 00:22:19,568 --> 00:22:21,486 NAOMI: Yes. I'm not just a pretty face. 538 00:22:21,488 --> 00:22:24,910 It used to be my dad managing me and then Naomi was like, 539 00:22:24,912 --> 00:22:29,407 "You can't be on some fucking stranger's books". 540 00:22:29,409 --> 00:22:31,567 So, like, first it was my dad and then... 541 00:22:31,569 --> 00:22:33,847 You're not listening. In spite of my dad... 542 00:22:33,849 --> 00:22:35,971 ('BYE-BYE BABY' BY MARILYN MONROE CONTINUES) 543 00:22:35,973 --> 00:22:37,974 Are you... 544 00:22:39,210 --> 00:22:41,008 Are you touching her? 545 00:22:41,010 --> 00:22:42,848 - Yeah, could be. - (GIGGLES) 546 00:22:42,850 --> 00:22:43,968 ♪ No other... ♪ 547 00:22:43,970 --> 00:22:46,248 - This is... - (BENJAMIN LAUGHS) 548 00:22:46,250 --> 00:22:51,611 ♪ Guy... ♪ 549 00:22:52,651 --> 00:22:55,129 - (BENJAMIN LAUGHS) - NAOMI: Oh, my God. 550 00:22:55,131 --> 00:22:57,609 ♪ Though I'll ♪ 551 00:22:57,611 --> 00:23:03,050 ♪ Be gone ♪ 552 00:23:03,052 --> 00:23:08,372 ♪ For a while ♪ 553 00:23:10,132 --> 00:23:14,811 ♪ I know that ♪ 554 00:23:14,813 --> 00:23:17,051 ♪ I'll be ♪ 555 00:23:17,053 --> 00:23:23,933 ♪ Smiling... ♪ 556 00:23:25,773 --> 00:23:27,774 (LIFT PINGS) 557 00:23:30,094 --> 00:23:34,652 Suzie! Suzie! Oh, I love you, Suzie. 558 00:23:34,654 --> 00:23:37,892 - (SONG SPEEDS UP) - ♪ My baby, by and by, and by ♪ 559 00:23:37,894 --> 00:23:42,333 - ♪ With my baby, by and by... ♪ - Whose cock is it, Suzie? 560 00:23:42,335 --> 00:23:43,813 ♪ I'll be gloomy... ♪ 561 00:23:43,815 --> 00:23:47,173 - Suzie! I love you, Suzie! - ♪ But send that rainbow to me... ♪ 562 00:23:47,175 --> 00:23:50,173 FAN: Suzie! 563 00:23:50,175 --> 00:23:52,333 COB: Whose cock is it, Suzie? 564 00:23:52,335 --> 00:23:53,934 ♪ Though you'll be gone for a while... ♪ 565 00:23:53,936 --> 00:23:55,574 FAN: I love you, Suzie! 566 00:23:55,576 --> 00:23:57,576 (SILENCE) 567 00:24:01,642 --> 00:24:07,642 _ 568 00:24:12,308 --> 00:24:15,308 _ 569 00:24:17,386 --> 00:24:25,386 _ 570 00:24:25,388 --> 00:24:29,888 _ 571 00:24:31,218 --> 00:24:33,859 (WATER RUNS) 572 00:24:38,299 --> 00:24:40,699 (SLOW PIANO JAZZ) 573 00:24:57,341 --> 00:24:59,541 (BOTTLE CLATTERS) 574 00:25:28,583 --> 00:25:30,623 (MUSIC DISTORTS) 575 00:25:38,624 --> 00:25:40,624 (WATER BUBBLES) 576 00:25:44,424 --> 00:25:46,942 (CHEERING) 577 00:25:46,944 --> 00:25:49,903 - MAN: Suzie! - MAN 2: Suzie! 578 00:25:49,905 --> 00:25:52,223 COB: Whose cock is it, Suzie? 579 00:25:52,225 --> 00:25:54,225 (DREAMY, UNEASY MUSIC) 580 00:25:59,865 --> 00:26:01,866 (WATER GLUGS) 581 00:26:09,746 --> 00:26:11,144 (GROANS) 582 00:26:11,146 --> 00:26:13,146 (BANGING AT DOOR) 583 00:26:21,707 --> 00:26:24,665 - Arrgh. - (BANGING AT DOOR) 584 00:26:24,667 --> 00:26:26,826 Arrgh! 585 00:26:26,828 --> 00:26:28,828 (BANGING CONTINUES) 586 00:26:29,788 --> 00:26:32,668 - (INSISTENT BANGING AT DOOR) - (GASPS) 587 00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:42,930 _ 588 00:26:51,749 --> 00:26:53,750 (COUGHS) 589 00:26:58,510 --> 00:27:00,510 (SNIFFS) 590 00:27:07,791 --> 00:27:09,791 What, are you pissed off with me? 591 00:27:11,591 --> 00:27:14,749 You took the only room key, you didn't answer your phone again. 592 00:27:14,751 --> 00:27:17,149 - Sorry. You gave him a blowjob. - It's incredibly frustrating. 593 00:27:17,151 --> 00:27:19,150 - For about six minutes. - I didn't realise you could talk. 594 00:27:19,152 --> 00:27:20,333 I'm sorry if you liked him. 595 00:27:20,335 --> 00:27:23,670 If anything, that's a testament to your terrible taste in men. 596 00:27:23,672 --> 00:27:25,990 If I could go back and anti-fuck him, I would. 597 00:27:25,992 --> 00:27:28,510 - You fucked him? - What was I supposed to do? 598 00:27:28,512 --> 00:27:30,430 Talk sci-fi? 599 00:27:30,432 --> 00:27:31,911 I couldn't give him another blowjob 600 00:27:31,913 --> 00:27:33,471 'cause I couldn't breathe through my nose 601 00:27:33,473 --> 00:27:34,871 because you'd made me buy cocaine. 602 00:27:34,873 --> 00:27:36,174 Oh, God. Sorry. 603 00:27:36,176 --> 00:27:38,111 His crotch smelled like he'd had sex with a bin. 604 00:27:38,113 --> 00:27:40,113 (COUGHS) 605 00:27:49,354 --> 00:27:52,032 Well, I took a bunch of sleeping pills last night. 606 00:27:52,034 --> 00:27:53,432 - What? - I don't... 607 00:27:53,434 --> 00:27:56,032 - What do you mean, "a bunch"? - I dunno, I... 608 00:27:56,034 --> 00:27:58,593 - Well, how many? - To get rid... Like, four. 609 00:27:58,595 --> 00:28:00,113 - Maybe five. - Four? 610 00:28:00,115 --> 00:28:03,033 - Four. - Four, okay. Wow. 611 00:28:03,035 --> 00:28:05,035 That seems like a weird amount. 612 00:28:06,195 --> 00:28:10,074 Well, I would've taken more, wouldn't I, but I fell asleep. 613 00:28:10,076 --> 00:28:11,690 Because they're sleeping pills. 614 00:28:11,692 --> 00:28:14,004 - Fucking hell. What is wrong with you? - Oh, that's nice. 615 00:28:14,006 --> 00:28:16,874 - So you would have died... - Really nice! I wouldn't have died. 616 00:28:16,876 --> 00:28:18,954 ... while I was miserably banging Benjamin Detroit 617 00:28:18,956 --> 00:28:21,074 so you wouldn't have to. 618 00:28:21,076 --> 00:28:23,195 What have we said about sleeping pills, hmm? 619 00:28:23,197 --> 00:28:25,795 They're great. 620 00:28:25,797 --> 00:28:28,555 Marilyn Monroe, Elvis Presley... 621 00:28:28,557 --> 00:28:29,955 - Oh, Elvis Presley. - Heath Ledger! 622 00:28:29,957 --> 00:28:32,195 Didn't he die on the toilet? 623 00:28:32,197 --> 00:28:34,195 He didn't die from being on the toilet, did he? 624 00:28:34,197 --> 00:28:35,482 He didn't die 'from toilet'. 625 00:28:35,484 --> 00:28:37,905 You know, I can't take you anymore. I can't take this. 626 00:28:37,907 --> 00:28:40,787 I feel like I'm having a nervous fucking breakdown. 627 00:28:47,679 --> 00:28:49,799 I'm sorry. Sorry. 628 00:28:51,695 --> 00:28:53,894 How could you not tell me you were fucking someone else? 629 00:28:53,896 --> 00:28:56,597 - I wasn't! - I just found out like everyone else! 630 00:28:56,599 --> 00:29:00,880 - I'm your best fucking friend! - Because you'd be cross like this. 631 00:29:04,360 --> 00:29:05,798 - (SNIFFS) - I know who it is, Suz. 632 00:29:05,800 --> 00:29:09,478 No, you don't know who it is. 633 00:29:09,480 --> 00:29:11,480 Do you? Is it obvious? 634 00:29:13,721 --> 00:29:15,921 God, it's obvious. Yeah. 635 00:29:16,921 --> 00:29:19,361 You know what you have to do, right? 636 00:29:21,001 --> 00:29:23,079 There's no way back from this. 637 00:29:23,081 --> 00:29:27,320 You have to tell Cob it's over. Get him out. 638 00:29:27,322 --> 00:29:30,440 You have to move back into the family home that you paid for... 639 00:29:30,442 --> 00:29:31,783 - Yeah. - ... with Frank. 640 00:29:31,785 --> 00:29:34,406 - Yeah, I know. - Really? 641 00:29:34,408 --> 00:29:36,408 Okay, good. 642 00:29:43,443 --> 00:29:45,963 (FOOTSTEPS APPROACH) 643 00:29:47,763 --> 00:29:49,763 These are yours. 644 00:29:54,404 --> 00:29:57,002 So, um, I have something to say. 645 00:29:57,004 --> 00:29:59,305 (SIGHS) 646 00:29:59,307 --> 00:30:01,328 (SCOFFS) Ooh. 647 00:30:01,330 --> 00:30:04,051 No, no, no. I just think that, um... 648 00:30:05,685 --> 00:30:10,266 I... I have been thinking about things 649 00:30:10,268 --> 00:30:13,909 and I think you're right, I think you deserve an explanation. 650 00:30:13,911 --> 00:30:16,271 (SCOFFS) Mmm. 651 00:30:21,286 --> 00:30:23,926 I did sleep with someone else. 652 00:30:25,026 --> 00:30:30,285 And I have a photos of that from a long time ago. 653 00:30:30,287 --> 00:30:33,046 And it is over. 654 00:30:33,048 --> 00:30:34,086 It was over. 655 00:30:34,088 --> 00:30:36,725 But what... what I really want to say 656 00:30:36,727 --> 00:30:40,148 is that I think me being out and away from the house, 657 00:30:40,150 --> 00:30:41,451 I don't think that's right. 658 00:30:41,453 --> 00:30:43,806 I don't think that's right for Frank. 659 00:30:43,808 --> 00:30:46,886 I don't think it's right for... for me 660 00:30:46,888 --> 00:30:49,686 and I... ultimately, I don't think it's right for you. 661 00:30:49,688 --> 00:30:51,949 I think I need to be here. 662 00:30:51,951 --> 00:30:54,686 I think that is what's right. 663 00:30:54,688 --> 00:30:58,390 And so what I'm saying is that 664 00:30:58,392 --> 00:31:00,127 I want to be at home 665 00:31:00,129 --> 00:31:04,967 and I am not prepared to accept a no on that. 666 00:31:04,969 --> 00:31:09,450 And that is how I want to move forward. 100%. 667 00:31:17,930 --> 00:31:19,328 Uh, well. 668 00:31:19,330 --> 00:31:22,451 I think that's what I needed to hear. 669 00:31:23,347 --> 00:31:25,026 It's going to be difficult, you're right, you know, 670 00:31:25,028 --> 00:31:26,849 but we owe it to Frank. 671 00:31:26,851 --> 00:31:28,609 To each other. 672 00:31:28,611 --> 00:31:31,049 SUZIE: Mm-hm. 673 00:31:31,051 --> 00:31:33,211 Well, I mean, obviously, you're going to have to, uh... 674 00:31:35,532 --> 00:31:37,130 ... you're going to have to tell me everything 675 00:31:37,132 --> 00:31:38,530 and I will decide what it means. 676 00:31:38,532 --> 00:31:40,156 But, um, in the meantime, yes, 677 00:31:40,158 --> 00:31:42,158 I accept your offer to come back to the house. 678 00:31:45,494 --> 00:31:49,156 And what about... what about you? 679 00:31:49,158 --> 00:31:51,158 Well, I will, um... 680 00:31:53,293 --> 00:31:56,833 I will work towards considering forgiving you. 681 00:32:00,214 --> 00:32:02,812 - Here? - Because I... 682 00:32:02,814 --> 00:32:05,475 Yeah, I'll admit that it can't have been easy for you either. 683 00:32:05,477 --> 00:32:09,077 And, uh, well, you're gonna need my help to get through it, frankly. 684 00:32:11,374 --> 00:32:13,275 Aren't you? 685 00:32:18,455 --> 00:32:20,455 (SENTIMENTAL JAZZ MUSIC) 686 00:32:21,935 --> 00:32:24,653 COB: Okay. 687 00:32:24,655 --> 00:32:26,656 I'm here. 688 00:32:48,497 --> 00:32:50,738 (PHONE BUZZES AND RINGTONE PLAYS) 689 00:33:04,779 --> 00:33:06,779 (PHONE BEEPS) 690 00:33:11,619 --> 00:33:13,619 Hey. Yeah. 691 00:33:14,899 --> 00:33:17,700 I don't know, I just... I've been trying to find the right time. 692 00:33:19,180 --> 00:33:21,860 I'm so sorry about all this. 693 00:33:23,940 --> 00:33:25,940 No-one knows it's you. 694 00:33:28,340 --> 00:33:30,941 (SENTIMENTAL FOLK SONG) 695 00:33:33,901 --> 00:33:36,459 SONG: ♪ Hey, my love ♪ 696 00:33:36,461 --> 00:33:38,779 ♪ What you doing? ♪ 697 00:33:38,781 --> 00:33:41,179 ♪ You come to watch ♪ 698 00:33:41,181 --> 00:33:43,740 ♪ The flowers blooming ♪ 699 00:33:43,742 --> 00:33:47,060 ♪ Satellite in the sky ♪ 700 00:33:47,062 --> 00:33:49,342 ♪ My, oh, my ♪ 701 00:33:53,622 --> 00:33:58,621 ♪ I never met someone like you ♪ 702 00:33:58,623 --> 00:34:00,743 ♪ You turn my world... ♪ 703 00:34:07,033 --> 00:34:11,033 - Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com - 53936

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