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1
00:00:00,864 --> 00:00:03,064
- (RUMBLING BACKGROUND NOISE)
- (CLOCK TICKS)
2
00:00:06,464 --> 00:00:08,464
I like your hair.
3
00:00:11,904 --> 00:00:14,103
This is much nicer than the other room.
4
00:00:14,105 --> 00:00:16,105
This is the better room.
5
00:00:18,865 --> 00:00:21,408
I don't think he's, um, going to come.
6
00:00:21,410 --> 00:00:23,990
I think he just wants
me to have to tell you.
7
00:00:25,506 --> 00:00:27,581
Well, I know I said we should wait.
8
00:00:27,583 --> 00:00:28,884
But, perhaps, if this is...
9
00:00:28,886 --> 00:00:30,886
- (DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)
- (FOOTSTEPS APPROACH)
10
00:00:31,786 --> 00:00:33,786
- Hello, Cob.
- COB: Hey.
11
00:00:35,666 --> 00:00:38,945
So sorry I'm late, Rose.
Um, child care issues.
12
00:00:38,947 --> 00:00:43,402
(CLEARS THROAT) Well, I would say
it's nice to see you both again.
13
00:00:43,404 --> 00:00:46,945
But I suppose I wouldn't be,
unless something's happened?
14
00:00:46,947 --> 00:00:50,467
Suzie is not living at
the house anymore, Rose.
15
00:00:51,868 --> 00:00:53,329
Oh?
16
00:00:53,331 --> 00:00:55,331
Because...
17
00:00:56,148 --> 00:00:58,148
Um...
18
00:00:59,302 --> 00:01:02,043
Okay, so, um, someone
19
00:01:02,045 --> 00:01:06,347
somehow has... had access to my phone
20
00:01:06,349 --> 00:01:09,724
or hacked my phone
21
00:01:09,726 --> 00:01:13,107
and downloaded... downloaded photos.
22
00:01:13,109 --> 00:01:18,108
And there was a photo of me on
there with someone else. Sexually.
23
00:01:18,110 --> 00:01:20,428
Very clearly someone else.
24
00:01:20,430 --> 00:01:22,708
- Right.
- COB: Mm-hm.
25
00:01:22,710 --> 00:01:25,131
Gosh. That must be quite a shock.
26
00:01:25,133 --> 00:01:26,434
I'll fucking say.
27
00:01:26,436 --> 00:01:29,566
And... and Cob assumes that that means
28
00:01:29,568 --> 00:01:31,429
that I'm being unfaithful.
29
00:01:31,431 --> 00:01:33,509
Yeah. Mmm.
30
00:01:33,511 --> 00:01:36,406
Why would I... (LAUGHS)
Why would I possibly...
31
00:01:36,408 --> 00:01:38,469
Oh! Of course.
32
00:01:38,471 --> 00:01:40,717
I get it, because I'm insane.
33
00:01:40,719 --> 00:01:43,261
Right, because seeing
something with your own eyes
34
00:01:43,263 --> 00:01:46,404
has absolutely no meaning, right?
35
00:01:46,406 --> 00:01:48,406
That's... This is gaslighting.
36
00:01:50,632 --> 00:01:53,272
Uh, what's... what's
happening with Franky?
37
00:01:54,769 --> 00:01:56,651
- (LAUGHS)
- Frank. Um...
38
00:01:56,653 --> 00:01:59,911
So... he's, uh... he's fine.
39
00:01:59,913 --> 00:02:02,791
You know, I mean, I am...
40
00:02:02,793 --> 00:02:04,791
... I am coming into the house
41
00:02:04,793 --> 00:02:06,831
at, like, 6am to wake him up
42
00:02:06,833 --> 00:02:10,152
and, um... and then leaving
43
00:02:10,154 --> 00:02:12,672
and then coming back
at the end of the day.
44
00:02:12,674 --> 00:02:14,674
- I think he's fine.
- (COB SNIGGERS)
45
00:02:15,440 --> 00:02:17,101
I think he's fine.
46
00:02:17,103 --> 00:02:19,501
Um, I don't think he realises, you know,
47
00:02:19,503 --> 00:02:22,064
except this weekend when we're
going to the convention, but...
48
00:02:22,955 --> 00:02:24,955
COB: Whose cock is it?
49
00:02:26,555 --> 00:02:28,033
Whose cock is it?
50
00:02:28,035 --> 00:02:30,736
It's what we're here for. Let's just...
51
00:02:30,738 --> 00:02:32,597
We're here now. We're
there. Whose cock is it?
52
00:02:32,599 --> 00:02:34,771
Suzie, whose cock is it?
53
00:02:34,773 --> 00:02:36,994
- Do you... I mean...
- Whose cock is it? Whose cock is it?
54
00:02:36,996 --> 00:02:40,154
Whose cock is it? Whose cock
is it? Whose cock is it? Yeah.
55
00:02:40,156 --> 00:02:42,034
- Do you want me to answer that?
- Whose cock is it?
56
00:02:42,036 --> 00:02:43,314
- I don't...
- Whose cock is it?
57
00:02:43,316 --> 00:02:44,794
Whose fucking cock is it?!
58
00:02:44,796 --> 00:02:46,957
(JAZZY PIANO MUSIC)
59
00:02:46,959 --> 00:02:49,959
- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -
60
00:02:51,192 --> 00:02:53,672
(SCRAPING)
61
00:02:55,877 --> 00:02:57,877
(YAWNS)
62
00:02:58,797 --> 00:03:00,798
- WOMAN: I've got it.
- Shit.
63
00:03:03,931 --> 00:03:05,632
You don't have to keep
giving me your bed.
64
00:03:05,634 --> 00:03:08,653
- I know I don't have to.
- It's so cold.
65
00:03:08,655 --> 00:03:10,676
- How long have you been sat there?
- I've got a plan.
66
00:03:10,678 --> 00:03:12,317
We go to the convention, as booked,
67
00:03:12,319 --> 00:03:15,153
but our attitude is, "Fuck
you, fake news, you lose".
68
00:03:15,155 --> 00:03:16,934
No, that just... that sounds horrific.
69
00:03:16,936 --> 00:03:19,317
But not going makes it look
like it's you and you care.
70
00:03:19,319 --> 00:03:21,174
It is me. And I do care.
71
00:03:21,176 --> 00:03:22,917
Let's not dignify it with a response.
72
00:03:22,919 --> 00:03:25,118
No comment from us and it all goes away.
73
00:03:25,120 --> 00:03:27,398
- SUZIE: Hmm.
- NAOMI: Mmm.
74
00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:30,532
- I really need my phone.
- Yeah, the police still have it.
75
00:03:30,534 --> 00:03:31,655
But you've got this one.
76
00:03:31,657 --> 00:03:35,032
It has all your same
contacts and names in it.
77
00:03:35,034 --> 00:03:37,696
It just can't go online, which is good.
78
00:03:37,698 --> 00:03:39,079
Why? What are they saying?
79
00:03:39,081 --> 00:03:41,519
Yeah, you don't need to see that.
80
00:03:41,521 --> 00:03:43,759
Why, is it bad?
81
00:03:43,761 --> 00:03:45,761
- Uh...
- Nay?
82
00:03:47,921 --> 00:03:49,759
(GROANS)
83
00:03:49,761 --> 00:03:52,720
But the whole convention is just
gonna be sat there, you know.
84
00:03:52,722 --> 00:03:53,920
They're just gonna be sat there
85
00:03:53,922 --> 00:03:55,543
and they're just gonna
be looking at my tits
86
00:03:55,545 --> 00:03:57,317
and thinking about me sucking cock.
87
00:03:57,319 --> 00:03:59,240
Yeah, but they always are, babe.
88
00:03:59,242 --> 00:04:01,282
You get dressed.
89
00:04:02,282 --> 00:04:05,003
(THEME MUSIC)
90
00:04:06,443 --> 00:04:09,281
(GLASS SMASHES)
91
00:04:09,283 --> 00:04:10,921
- NAOMI: Are you alright?
- Yeah.
92
00:04:10,923 --> 00:04:13,398
Don't forget, no photos
or signing anything
93
00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:14,801
until you're on the official table.
94
00:04:14,803 --> 00:04:16,642
We make no reference to the hack at all.
95
00:04:16,644 --> 00:04:19,602
- MAN: Hi, Suzie.
- NAOMI: Thanks very much.
96
00:04:19,604 --> 00:04:21,362
- Also, I've cancelled the Q&A.
- SUZIE: Hi.
97
00:04:21,364 --> 00:04:23,082
NAOMI: So don't answer any questions.
98
00:04:23,084 --> 00:04:25,139
Look at all these people that love you.
99
00:04:25,141 --> 00:04:26,482
- Thanks.
- Hi!
100
00:04:26,484 --> 00:04:27,882
Thanks very much.
101
00:04:27,884 --> 00:04:29,763
- I love you.
- Hi.
102
00:04:29,765 --> 00:04:31,883
Okay, that's great. Thank you.
103
00:04:31,885 --> 00:04:33,986
- MAN: Captain Bria!
- (SCI-FI SOUNDS EFFECTS PLAY)
104
00:04:33,988 --> 00:04:36,809
We don't mention the real world at all.
105
00:04:36,811 --> 00:04:38,403
Nobody cares here.
106
00:04:38,405 --> 00:04:40,323
- Nobody cares about the photos.
- Right.
107
00:04:40,325 --> 00:04:42,604
- All they care about is Captain Bria.
- Yeah.
108
00:04:42,606 --> 00:04:43,964
- There's not gonna be a Q&A.
- Right.
109
00:04:43,966 --> 00:04:45,124
- Some water?
- Oh, thank you.
110
00:04:45,126 --> 00:04:47,941
So just go out there and be
a smiley, charming bad-ass
111
00:04:47,943 --> 00:04:49,644
like a bad-ass on bad-ass patrol.
112
00:04:49,646 --> 00:04:52,044
Or don't if you don't want to.
Just do what you want.
113
00:04:52,046 --> 00:04:54,458
- Okay.
- Also, can you talk about 'AfterDeath'
114
00:04:54,460 --> 00:04:56,181
rather than the sci-fi
you did 12 years ago?
115
00:04:56,183 --> 00:04:57,942
- But nobody watches 'AfterDeath'.
- Yeah, they do.
116
00:04:57,944 --> 00:04:59,365
Then why do I never meet them?
117
00:04:59,367 --> 00:05:01,405
Because viewing figures
don't matter anymore.
118
00:05:01,407 --> 00:05:03,365
Oh, right. It only matters
who clicks on it?
119
00:05:03,367 --> 00:05:05,542
Yeah. And, well, that doesn't
matter either but...
120
00:05:05,544 --> 00:05:07,926
- So what does matter?
- Excuse me, they're ready for you.
121
00:05:07,928 --> 00:05:10,086
- Shh. Okay. Let's go.
- Okay. Great. Yeah.
122
00:05:10,088 --> 00:05:11,126
Thank you.
123
00:05:11,128 --> 00:05:13,086
Okay, let's welcome to the stage
124
00:05:13,088 --> 00:05:15,262
the real Captain Bria, Suzie Pickles!
125
00:05:15,264 --> 00:05:16,863
- Anything hanging out my nose?
- No, you're good.
126
00:05:16,865 --> 00:05:18,526
- Are you sure?
- You're good.
127
00:05:18,528 --> 00:05:21,329
(WILD CHEERING)
128
00:05:24,009 --> 00:05:25,367
Thank you!
129
00:05:25,369 --> 00:05:28,129
Shall I go this way or this way? Hi!
130
00:05:33,570 --> 00:05:35,288
Here's your mic.
131
00:05:35,290 --> 00:05:36,768
Thank you.
132
00:05:36,770 --> 00:05:39,688
- Welcome along.
- Shall I just hold this like this?
133
00:05:39,690 --> 00:05:41,762
- Yeah, however you like.
- Like, I think that's normal?
134
00:05:41,764 --> 00:05:43,585
Yeah. (LAUGHS) That's fine. Um, alright.
135
00:05:43,587 --> 00:05:47,066
So, you all know our Suzie from
her varied career, of course.
136
00:05:47,068 --> 00:05:48,489
From 'Quo Vadis'...
137
00:05:48,491 --> 00:05:50,491
(ALL CHEER)
138
00:05:51,731 --> 00:05:53,729
... and more recent stuff as well,
139
00:05:53,731 --> 00:05:55,232
uh, the soap stuff...
140
00:05:55,234 --> 00:05:57,289
- Yeah. But we don't mention that.
- Alright.
141
00:05:57,291 --> 00:06:00,450
And, of course, 'AfterDeath',
which is on streaming now.
142
00:06:00,452 --> 00:06:05,250
Yeah, that's right. And who
doesn't love Nazi zombies?
143
00:06:05,252 --> 00:06:06,513
- Right.
- (LAUGHTER)
144
00:06:06,515 --> 00:06:09,050
Okay, so usually we do a Q&A format.
145
00:06:09,052 --> 00:06:11,491
Uh, I think, today we're just gonna
have a conversation between us...
146
00:06:11,493 --> 00:06:13,091
(CROWD GRUMBLES) Aww...
147
00:06:13,093 --> 00:06:15,813
- Oh, no, the masses are revolting!
- (LAUGHS)
148
00:06:17,093 --> 00:06:20,171
They've queued for hours
to talk to you, Captain Bria.
149
00:06:20,173 --> 00:06:21,891
MAN: Come on, do it. You promised!
150
00:06:21,893 --> 00:06:23,932
(AUDIENCE CLAPS AND CHANTS)
Do it! Do it! Do it!
151
00:06:23,934 --> 00:06:26,229
Uh, no, no, no. I love
Q&A. No, I love Q&A...
152
00:06:26,231 --> 00:06:28,092
- (WHISTLING)
- I wanna, you know...
153
00:06:28,094 --> 00:06:29,692
- I wanna talk directly to them.
- Yeah?
154
00:06:29,694 --> 00:06:32,075
- You know, I... I love you guys.
- (CHEERING)
155
00:06:32,077 --> 00:06:34,852
- Alright, great!
- Whoo!
156
00:06:34,854 --> 00:06:36,870
Uh, let's go to some questions, then.
157
00:06:36,872 --> 00:06:39,093
The mic's out there somewhere.
158
00:06:39,095 --> 00:06:41,493
Uh, yeah, guy with the beard.
159
00:06:41,495 --> 00:06:43,373
Uh, no. Uh, no.
160
00:06:43,375 --> 00:06:45,293
Yeah, you. There you go. Yeah.
161
00:06:45,295 --> 00:06:47,413
(FEEDBACK WHINES)
162
00:06:47,415 --> 00:06:49,694
- Hi, Suzie.
- Hello! How are you?
163
00:06:49,696 --> 00:06:51,974
- I love your top.
- Oh, thank you, Suzie.
164
00:06:51,976 --> 00:06:53,414
(LAUGHS)
165
00:06:53,416 --> 00:06:58,494
In 'Quo Vadis', your character
dies at the end of the series.
166
00:06:58,496 --> 00:07:00,957
But if she did that,
167
00:07:00,959 --> 00:07:02,721
Captain Bria couldn't go back
168
00:07:02,723 --> 00:07:07,624
to where we found her in the
first episode on the ship.
169
00:07:07,626 --> 00:07:08,815
Um...
170
00:07:08,817 --> 00:07:12,777
Uh, it would make sense if it
was in a different dimension.
171
00:07:13,977 --> 00:07:16,936
Yeah, it would. And I've never
closed down that reading.
172
00:07:16,938 --> 00:07:21,216
But, you know, if I'm, um...
if I'm just really honest,
173
00:07:21,218 --> 00:07:22,576
I was just thinking about
174
00:07:22,578 --> 00:07:24,536
getting into that bloody
catsuit every week.
175
00:07:24,538 --> 00:07:26,233
- I mean jumpsuit.
- Jumpsuit. Yeah.
176
00:07:26,235 --> 00:07:29,897
Um, well, it is funny you should
mention the jumpsuit, Suzie,
177
00:07:29,899 --> 00:07:32,817
because we did a little
research mission of our own.
178
00:07:32,819 --> 00:07:33,833
Yep.
179
00:07:33,835 --> 00:07:36,598
And we found the jumpsuit
from 'Quo Vadis'.
180
00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:39,097
- (WHOOPING AND CHEERING)
- Um, yeah, the real one.
181
00:07:39,099 --> 00:07:41,355
- So let's bring it out.
- You're joking.
182
00:07:41,357 --> 00:07:43,818
Here we go. There it is.
183
00:07:43,820 --> 00:07:46,361
- Look at it.
- Is it actually the real one?
184
00:07:46,363 --> 00:07:49,258
It's the real one from
the archives, yeah.
185
00:07:49,260 --> 00:07:51,338
Oh. Do you need a moment?
186
00:07:51,340 --> 00:07:52,978
- I just remember the smell!
- (AUDIENCE CALLS OUT)
187
00:07:52,980 --> 00:07:54,779
Alright, well, lots of other questions
188
00:07:54,781 --> 00:07:57,779
whilst you reacquaint
yourself with the jumpsuit.
189
00:07:57,781 --> 00:08:01,539
So, uh, yes, the lady on the side.
190
00:08:01,541 --> 00:08:03,219
- Hi, Suzie.
- SUZIE: Hi.
191
00:08:03,221 --> 00:08:06,140
Hi. I'm so sorry to hear
about those pictures.
192
00:08:06,142 --> 00:08:08,300
It's such an invasion of privacy.
193
00:08:08,302 --> 00:08:10,620
I can't even imagine.
194
00:08:10,622 --> 00:08:12,780
But it's great to see you here today.
195
00:08:12,782 --> 00:08:14,940
Thank you so much.
196
00:08:14,942 --> 00:08:17,060
So how have you been coping?
197
00:08:17,062 --> 00:08:19,063
Yeah, um...
198
00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:21,644
- RAPTOR: Yeah.
- Yeah...
199
00:08:21,646 --> 00:08:23,021
- I... I... I don't...
- Can we move it along?
200
00:08:23,023 --> 00:08:25,781
I don't really think this
is the venue. In fact, I...
201
00:08:25,783 --> 00:08:27,181
- Can I just take this...
- Yeah.
202
00:08:27,183 --> 00:08:28,581
... moment to... before we get started?
203
00:08:28,583 --> 00:08:30,261
- Yes, of course you can.
- Okay. Um...
204
00:08:30,263 --> 00:08:32,996
(CLEARS THROAT) So, um...
205
00:08:32,998 --> 00:08:35,579
Look, I just wanted to
say that there are...
206
00:08:35,581 --> 00:08:42,422
... there were some photos
posted online last week,
207
00:08:42,424 --> 00:08:45,986
um... supposedly of me,
208
00:08:45,988 --> 00:08:49,663
stolen from me in some mass hack,
209
00:08:49,665 --> 00:08:52,183
and I just wanna say that
even though I have no issue
210
00:08:52,185 --> 00:08:56,463
with whatever it is that person's
supposed to be doing in the photo...
211
00:08:56,465 --> 00:08:59,984
(LAUGHS) Um, it's not me. No.
212
00:08:59,986 --> 00:09:02,504
I mean, I wish I was that thin.
213
00:09:02,506 --> 00:09:05,106
- WOMAN: It's not a fake.
- No, it's a fake.
214
00:09:06,146 --> 00:09:08,118
You know 'Black Mirror'?
215
00:09:08,120 --> 00:09:10,962
It's very 'Black Mirror-y'.
Whatever. We're all doomed.
216
00:09:10,964 --> 00:09:14,785
Anyway, I just... I just wanted
to put that to bed, you know.
217
00:09:14,787 --> 00:09:19,239
And, um, I don't know, if there's
anything to take away from today,
218
00:09:19,241 --> 00:09:23,263
um, don't wank to lies, kids.
219
00:09:23,265 --> 00:09:26,466
- (SCATTERED CHEERING)
- RAPTOR: Yes. Uh, good advice.
220
00:09:26,468 --> 00:09:28,146
(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)
221
00:09:28,148 --> 00:09:30,306
Yes, thank you for that. Alright, uh...
222
00:09:30,308 --> 00:09:32,106
- Sorry, that was a bit blue.
- No, that's fine.
223
00:09:32,108 --> 00:09:35,626
It's completely understandable
you would say it wasn't you,
224
00:09:35,628 --> 00:09:38,067
but there are other
details in the pictures.
225
00:09:38,069 --> 00:09:40,684
Uh, like the necklace you
were wearing, uh, for example.
226
00:09:40,686 --> 00:09:41,732
(AUDIENCE MEMBERS BOO)
227
00:09:41,734 --> 00:09:44,026
I mean, which you've worn
it on other occasions.
228
00:09:44,028 --> 00:09:45,827
- Yeah, I don't think...
- Can we move it along, please?
229
00:09:45,829 --> 00:09:47,947
- I'm just giving you an opportunity.
- ... to be talking about this.
230
00:09:47,949 --> 00:09:48,971
This feels very...
231
00:09:48,973 --> 00:09:51,508
Because it is a penis of
colour in the pictures...
232
00:09:51,510 --> 00:09:53,868
- Jesus!
- You know what? I... Oh, my God.
233
00:09:53,870 --> 00:09:54,900
Yeah, okay. That's enough.
234
00:09:54,902 --> 00:09:57,308
Is that the reason why you're
trying to distance yourself...
235
00:09:57,310 --> 00:09:59,828
Sorry, I was just...
236
00:09:59,830 --> 00:10:02,549
I was just wondering
if I could still fit into this.
237
00:10:02,551 --> 00:10:05,629
- (CHEERING)
- Yes! Are we insured for that?
238
00:10:05,631 --> 00:10:07,629
Well, I guess I'm doing it.
239
00:10:07,631 --> 00:10:10,989
Alright, off she goes
to change into the jumpsuit.
240
00:10:10,991 --> 00:10:13,149
- Very shortly she'll be back.
- I'll see you in a second.
241
00:10:13,151 --> 00:10:15,150
- See you in a second.
- Maybe a minute. Who knows?
242
00:10:15,152 --> 00:10:16,750
- What the fuck?
- That's what you came for.
243
00:10:16,752 --> 00:10:19,070
Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!
244
00:10:19,072 --> 00:10:21,470
They should just chuck her out.
245
00:10:21,472 --> 00:10:23,390
Stand up.
246
00:10:23,392 --> 00:10:26,069
- I said don't do questions.
- They... they just sat there.
247
00:10:26,071 --> 00:10:27,471
They just sat there waiting.
248
00:10:27,473 --> 00:10:28,991
I can't wear this. It'll make me panic.
249
00:10:28,993 --> 00:10:30,391
- Get it off.
- We'll take it off.
250
00:10:30,393 --> 00:10:31,631
Can you take this, please?
251
00:10:31,633 --> 00:10:34,633
(CHEERING AND WHISTLING)
252
00:10:35,873 --> 00:10:37,913
NAOMI: You're looking good, babe.
253
00:10:41,234 --> 00:10:42,952
RAPTOR: Here she is!
254
00:10:42,954 --> 00:10:45,472
Sorry, it's a bit... it's a bit tight.
255
00:10:45,474 --> 00:10:49,192
I actually can't breathe
in this. (LAUGHS)
256
00:10:49,194 --> 00:10:54,033
I feel really self-conscious
that I've got camel toe.
257
00:10:54,035 --> 00:10:57,035
(FUNKY MUSIC PLAYS)
258
00:11:03,515 --> 00:11:06,556
(PHONE BUZZES AND PLAYS RINGTONE)
259
00:11:09,276 --> 00:11:12,194
SONG: ♪ Ah, dance ♪
260
00:11:12,196 --> 00:11:14,554
♪ Make your body move ♪
261
00:11:14,556 --> 00:11:16,234
♪ Dance... ♪
262
00:11:16,236 --> 00:11:19,237
(SONG CONTINUES PLAYING)
263
00:11:20,837 --> 00:11:22,635
- MAN: Excuse me.
- Sorry.
264
00:11:22,637 --> 00:11:24,595
I'm so sorry.
265
00:11:24,597 --> 00:11:26,075
Why? What have you done?
266
00:11:26,077 --> 00:11:29,077
Are you here selling your soul too?
267
00:11:30,975 --> 00:11:33,916
What on earth is that phone?
You're not a dealer, are you?
268
00:11:33,918 --> 00:11:36,756
My other phone's in police custody.
269
00:11:36,758 --> 00:11:38,916
Liquid sustenance, please!
270
00:11:38,918 --> 00:11:40,733
You made a sex tape? What happened?
271
00:11:40,735 --> 00:11:43,797
So, okay, so... so one of the girls'
mums finds the tape
272
00:11:43,799 --> 00:11:46,477
hidden in the bottom of
the wardrobe, she digs it out,
273
00:11:46,479 --> 00:11:49,757
she, of course, goes
fucking ballistic and spare,
274
00:11:49,759 --> 00:11:53,631
and then the girls denied it and
said that I forced them to do it
275
00:11:53,633 --> 00:11:55,754
and that they never wanted
to do a threesome
276
00:11:55,756 --> 00:11:57,998
even though they were laughing
the whole way through.
277
00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:01,175
And so the mother
then wrote to my agent.
278
00:12:01,177 --> 00:12:04,318
I can't... I don't even remember
hearing about that.
279
00:12:04,320 --> 00:12:06,398
Yeah, this is way pre-internet.
280
00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:08,078
I bought the family a conservatory.
281
00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:10,319
A conservatory. Fuck.
282
00:12:10,321 --> 00:12:12,256
But don't you... don't
you worry about that now?
283
00:12:12,258 --> 00:12:14,119
It coming out?
284
00:12:14,121 --> 00:12:16,336
Yeah. Are you kidding? Absolutely.
285
00:12:16,338 --> 00:12:17,639
Thank you.
286
00:12:17,641 --> 00:12:20,121
And that's why I
live my life as a saint.
287
00:12:21,575 --> 00:12:22,957
I'm a good boy.
288
00:12:22,959 --> 00:12:25,600
Which is pretty brutal for me
actually because I'm freshly divorced
289
00:12:25,602 --> 00:12:28,040
and I'm in this fantasy
franchise, so it's like...
290
00:12:28,042 --> 00:12:30,320
Yeah. I'm sorry.
291
00:12:30,322 --> 00:12:31,840
You're very sweet.
292
00:12:31,842 --> 00:12:33,594
- I'm really sorry.
- Cheers.
293
00:12:33,596 --> 00:12:35,698
I'm with Suzie Pickles. Naomi Jones.
294
00:12:35,700 --> 00:12:37,561
Do you mind if I, uh...
295
00:12:37,563 --> 00:12:39,064
Hello. Hi.
296
00:12:39,066 --> 00:12:41,417
- Naomi Jones. This is Suzie Pickles.
- Let her in. She's with me.
297
00:12:41,419 --> 00:12:42,442
Yeah, see?
298
00:12:42,444 --> 00:12:45,138
Suz, we need to talk about
what happened at the Q&A.
299
00:12:45,140 --> 00:12:46,441
- We should stay.
- Hmm?
300
00:12:46,443 --> 00:12:48,922
We have to stay. It's so nice here.
301
00:12:48,924 --> 00:12:50,922
Because it's filled with people
who've built shrines to you.
302
00:12:50,924 --> 00:12:54,122
- It's like a big womb.
- No, I think we need to debrief, no?
303
00:12:54,124 --> 00:12:55,842
Is that, um, Benjamin Detroit?
304
00:12:55,844 --> 00:12:57,322
He plays that wizard guy...
305
00:12:57,324 --> 00:12:59,122
- Does Milo operate up here?
- Who reps him?
306
00:12:59,124 --> 00:13:00,362
- Rude.
- Milo?
307
00:13:00,364 --> 00:13:02,843
- Milo had a seizure in Barcelona.
- Okay, there's always other Milos.
308
00:13:02,845 --> 00:13:05,780
There's always alternative Milos.
Please, please, let's get fucked.
309
00:13:05,782 --> 00:13:08,403
- Please. Look at my life!
- Doesn't he have a coke problem?
310
00:13:08,405 --> 00:13:11,683
- Yes, in that we don't have any coke.
- Ugh.
311
00:13:11,685 --> 00:13:13,686
(RAIN PATTERS)
312
00:13:17,566 --> 00:13:19,566
(EXHALES)
313
00:13:21,005 --> 00:13:29,005
_
314
00:13:29,007 --> 00:13:33,007
_
315
00:13:34,806 --> 00:13:36,806
_
316
00:13:38,007 --> 00:13:40,648
- MAN: How's this fella doing?
- (MAN LAUGHS)
317
00:13:42,017 --> 00:13:43,317
_
318
00:13:45,193 --> 00:13:53,047
_
319
00:13:53,049 --> 00:13:54,747
SUZIE: I didn't realise
you already had coke.
320
00:13:54,749 --> 00:13:57,487
I should ring Naomi and
tell her not to get any more.
321
00:13:57,489 --> 00:13:59,647
Yeah, because the... the thing
about... the great thing about coke
322
00:13:59,649 --> 00:14:02,367
is... is it's like you never
wanna do any more.
323
00:14:02,369 --> 00:14:06,528
Right, this... this... this is
very special local stuff.
324
00:14:06,530 --> 00:14:08,951
Apparently you have
to do it in a certain way.
325
00:14:08,953 --> 00:14:11,088
An old Mexican guy told me.
326
00:14:11,090 --> 00:14:12,968
- A Mexican man?
- A Mexican man.
327
00:14:12,970 --> 00:14:15,088
- A Mexican man in Birmingham?
- Yes.
328
00:14:15,090 --> 00:14:16,568
- Indian.
- Yes.
329
00:14:16,570 --> 00:14:18,889
Mexican-Indian man in Birmingham.
330
00:14:18,891 --> 00:14:21,689
- So...
- Yes.
331
00:14:21,691 --> 00:14:23,809
- You are going to bend over...
- Yeah.
332
00:14:23,811 --> 00:14:28,185
... and, um, I'm going to lick
your ass while you do it.
333
00:14:28,187 --> 00:14:29,769
(SUZIE LAUGHS)
334
00:14:29,771 --> 00:14:32,170
That's how it has to be.
That's the way to do it.
335
00:14:32,172 --> 00:14:33,450
- Really?
- Yeah.
336
00:14:33,452 --> 00:14:35,450
- That's it, is it?
- Yeah. I don't make the rules.
337
00:14:35,452 --> 00:14:37,153
Well, it seems like you might.
338
00:14:37,155 --> 00:14:38,970
- Ah!
- Okay.
339
00:14:38,972 --> 00:14:41,450
So you... so then you...
That's gotta be...
340
00:14:41,452 --> 00:14:43,211
- Okay, right.
- Well, you have to take them.
341
00:14:43,213 --> 00:14:45,411
Let me. I'll do it, though,
because I've got the tights.
342
00:14:45,413 --> 00:14:47,091
- No hands.
- The tights.
343
00:14:47,093 --> 00:14:48,811
- I can handle tights if you need help.
- _
344
00:14:48,813 --> 00:14:50,731
- Just wait! (LAUGHS)
- I'm not touching you.
345
00:14:50,733 --> 00:14:52,771
I won't touch you.
I'm not going to do any...
346
00:14:52,773 --> 00:14:54,931
- All I'm going to do is...
- Okay, I'm ready. I'm ready.
347
00:14:54,933 --> 00:14:56,646
- You need to raise it up a bit.
- Ahh!
348
00:14:56,648 --> 00:14:58,349
I need to see a bit more action.
349
00:14:58,351 --> 00:15:00,092
Good. Ready? You tell
me when you're ready.
350
00:15:00,094 --> 00:15:02,092
Tell me when you're ready.
Tell me when you're ready.
351
00:15:02,094 --> 00:15:04,012
- Tell me when you're ready.
- I'm ready. I'm ready.
352
00:15:04,014 --> 00:15:05,892
- I'm putting my...
- Hang on! Okay, ready.
353
00:15:05,894 --> 00:15:07,892
- I have protective eyewear.
- I'm ready. I'm ready.
354
00:15:07,894 --> 00:15:09,413
- Three, two, one. Go.
- Go! Go!
355
00:15:09,415 --> 00:15:11,415
- (SNORTS)
- (SCREAMS)
356
00:15:13,735 --> 00:15:15,653
I barely touched you.
357
00:15:15,655 --> 00:15:17,533
(TYRES SCREECH)
358
00:15:17,535 --> 00:15:19,230
SONG ON CAR STEREO: ♪ It's unnatural ♪
359
00:15:19,232 --> 00:15:21,374
♪ You belong to me ♪
360
00:15:21,376 --> 00:15:23,174
♪ I belong to you... ♪
361
00:15:23,176 --> 00:15:25,814
- Hiya.
- WOMAN: Hiya.
362
00:15:25,816 --> 00:15:28,174
I'm here to meet you? I'm Naomi.
363
00:15:28,176 --> 00:15:30,054
I thought I was picking up from Tarek.
364
00:15:30,056 --> 00:15:32,534
- (TYRES SCREECH)
- Okay, you're driving away.
365
00:15:32,536 --> 00:15:34,935
Yeah, yeah. What has to happen
is we have to drive round.
366
00:15:34,937 --> 00:15:35,936
Okay.
367
00:15:35,938 --> 00:15:38,455
I can't park or nothing, what with
cameras. Better to drive round.
368
00:15:38,457 --> 00:15:39,855
- Okay, where are we actually...
- (HORN HONKS)
369
00:15:39,857 --> 00:15:42,097
- Fuck off! Hang on.
- Okay.
370
00:15:43,097 --> 00:15:44,935
Um, if there's anything
you want me to...
371
00:15:44,937 --> 00:15:46,816
Can I... can I do anything?
Maybe I could...
372
00:15:46,818 --> 00:15:49,750
- Yeah, count the money.
- I know how much I have.
373
00:15:49,752 --> 00:15:51,353
Yeah, but count it in front of me.
374
00:15:51,355 --> 00:15:53,856
In... in front of your face?
While you're driving?
375
00:15:53,858 --> 00:15:56,256
If you count it next to me,
I'll know how much there is.
376
00:15:56,258 --> 00:16:00,497
Right. 20, 40, 60, 100.
377
00:16:00,499 --> 00:16:03,257
I've only got 20s. 120.
378
00:16:03,259 --> 00:16:04,777
Uh, I don't suppose you do change?
379
00:16:04,779 --> 00:16:07,154
I don't know where
he's fucking put it. Ohh!
380
00:16:07,156 --> 00:16:09,657
- Where's he put the fucking gear?
- Okay.
381
00:16:09,659 --> 00:16:11,657
Can you just hold the wheel
for a minute, babe?
382
00:16:11,659 --> 00:16:13,098
- Oh, my God, hold the...
- (HORN HONKS)
383
00:16:13,100 --> 00:16:17,618
Ohh! Can you see in the back
if there's, like, a... like, a wallet?
384
00:16:17,620 --> 00:16:21,241
A... a wallet. Uh, no.
385
00:16:21,243 --> 00:16:23,378
He's not fucking put it
where he said he would!
386
00:16:23,380 --> 00:16:25,819
I'm gonna have to call
that lying fucker now!
387
00:16:25,821 --> 00:16:27,819
Making me look like a twat again!
388
00:16:27,821 --> 00:16:29,821
Oh, wait.
389
00:16:31,141 --> 00:16:32,339
Oh, it's in me bra.
390
00:16:32,341 --> 00:16:34,459
- Okay.
- It's in me bra! (LAUGHS)
391
00:16:34,461 --> 00:16:37,897
- It's in your bra. Ah.
- I put it there before I came out.
392
00:16:37,899 --> 00:16:41,980
- Oh, I'm a fucking idiot, man!
- Ah.
393
00:16:41,982 --> 00:16:43,620
- Here it is, babe.
- Yes.
394
00:16:43,622 --> 00:16:44,740
- Swap ya.
- Thank you.
395
00:16:44,742 --> 00:16:47,100
- Nice. Nice.
- NAOMI: Fuck me.
396
00:16:47,102 --> 00:16:48,700
- (THUD!)
- (SIGHS)
397
00:16:48,702 --> 00:16:50,500
So where do you want dropping?
398
00:16:50,502 --> 00:16:52,261
Ahh...
399
00:16:52,263 --> 00:16:55,261
And it's just like, ahh!
400
00:16:55,263 --> 00:16:57,101
And there's me just holding it.
401
00:16:57,103 --> 00:16:59,261
- (BOTH LAUGH)
- SONG: ♪ To the left... ♪
402
00:16:59,263 --> 00:17:00,861
(KNOCK AT DOOR)
403
00:17:00,863 --> 00:17:03,542
- ♪ To the right... ♪
- Okay, um...
404
00:17:03,544 --> 00:17:05,639
- Alright, fuck.
- Wow.
405
00:17:05,641 --> 00:17:07,382
- Okay, fuck!
- Wow.
406
00:17:07,384 --> 00:17:10,304
Don't tell Naomi we've
already done cocaine.
407
00:17:12,424 --> 00:17:14,864
- Hey!
- Hey.
408
00:17:16,665 --> 00:17:17,943
BENJAMIN: Chop, chop.
409
00:17:17,945 --> 00:17:20,663
- 'Room 405'. There you go.
- Oh, yes!
410
00:17:20,665 --> 00:17:23,423
- Whee!
- Hey. Benjamin Detroit.
411
00:17:23,425 --> 00:17:26,483
- I'm Naomi with the drugs.
- Naomi with the drugs.
412
00:17:26,485 --> 00:17:28,526
I can't believe you already had coke.
413
00:17:28,528 --> 00:17:30,504
No, hey, no worries,
it's just like, you know,
414
00:17:30,506 --> 00:17:32,504
it's the good stuff,
the best stuff, the greatest stuff.
415
00:17:32,506 --> 00:17:34,759
And you start with the
red wine, like Jesus did,
416
00:17:34,761 --> 00:17:35,787
then you move onto the...
417
00:17:35,789 --> 00:17:37,624
Uh, can I have your phone to go online?
418
00:17:37,626 --> 00:17:39,584
- Okay, you... you have a phone.
- No, I need it.
419
00:17:39,586 --> 00:17:41,182
I want to show Ben the pictures.
420
00:17:41,184 --> 00:17:43,025
I just want to show him the pictures.
421
00:17:43,027 --> 00:17:44,442
- No, babe.
- (MOCKINGLY) "Oh, no, babe".
422
00:17:44,444 --> 00:17:46,465
"No, babe. No, babe!"
423
00:17:46,467 --> 00:17:49,305
You know, I'm 30-fucking-5
and married with a kid.
424
00:17:49,307 --> 00:17:51,262
Uh, you're 36. And not for long.
425
00:17:51,264 --> 00:17:53,125
Oh, my God, she let
reality into the room.
426
00:17:53,127 --> 00:17:54,906
We've... we've gotta... we've gotta
protect the room from this woman.
427
00:17:54,908 --> 00:17:56,466
Yeah, the room is really important.
428
00:17:56,468 --> 00:17:59,026
The room's like international waters,
that everything's in the room.
429
00:17:59,028 --> 00:18:01,786
- Do you wanna maybe, you know...
- No, we can't go. We're staying.
430
00:18:01,788 --> 00:18:03,106
Right, well, I'm fucking freezing
431
00:18:03,108 --> 00:18:04,706
because I've been outside
for, like, an hour.
432
00:18:04,708 --> 00:18:06,146
Yeah, good idea. Get into bed...
433
00:18:06,148 --> 00:18:08,787
You know, he used to be in, like,
all of these romantic comedies.
434
00:18:08,789 --> 00:18:10,227
- She hates all this shit.
- Does she?
435
00:18:10,229 --> 00:18:12,564
- NAOMI: No, I don't.
- Rom-coms, chick flicks...
436
00:18:12,566 --> 00:18:13,907
I hate that they're called that.
437
00:18:13,909 --> 00:18:16,227
- Anyway, he gets letters from teens.
- They're a legitimate art form.
438
00:18:16,229 --> 00:18:18,027
- Thank you very much.
- Uh, no.
439
00:18:18,029 --> 00:18:20,744
They are male propaganda
trying to convince women
440
00:18:20,746 --> 00:18:23,287
that romantic love is their
responsibility and desire,
441
00:18:23,289 --> 00:18:24,525
when actually it's just straight men
442
00:18:24,527 --> 00:18:25,788
trying to convince us
that we need them.
443
00:18:25,790 --> 00:18:26,828
- So, wait...
- There she is.
444
00:18:26,830 --> 00:18:29,225
- I mean, can you believe it?
- Wait. Wait, wait, wait!
445
00:18:29,227 --> 00:18:31,348
So, what, rom-coms are
propaganda? Or love is?
446
00:18:31,350 --> 00:18:35,069
Both. Ask yourself,
as Marx did, who benefits?
447
00:18:35,071 --> 00:18:37,466
I mean, she... she hasn't
even had coke yet, so...
448
00:18:37,468 --> 00:18:39,869
Love is just a way of getting women
to put aside their own needs.
449
00:18:39,871 --> 00:18:41,789
Okay, well, that's my
career fucked, then,
450
00:18:41,791 --> 00:18:43,799
because romantic comedies don't even
451
00:18:43,801 --> 00:18:45,629
employ white guys anymore anyway.
452
00:18:45,631 --> 00:18:48,030
Oh, my God. Okay.
Is this guy a bit of a dick?
453
00:18:48,032 --> 00:18:49,890
- No. No, he's fine. I like him.
- What?!
454
00:18:49,892 --> 00:18:51,399
Thank you. You know, hey, hey,
455
00:18:51,401 --> 00:18:53,407
so Suz says that you're into girls.
456
00:18:53,409 --> 00:18:55,110
- Okay. Jesus, Suz.
- What? Oh, what?
457
00:18:55,112 --> 00:18:57,230
So, we're not allowed facts anymore?
458
00:18:57,232 --> 00:18:59,114
I just hate you, like, pimping my bi.
459
00:18:59,116 --> 00:19:01,047
So, Naomi lives in this great way now
460
00:19:01,049 --> 00:19:02,828
since she... since she
broke up with her ex.
461
00:19:02,830 --> 00:19:04,951
- Can I call her your ex?
- Call her what you fucking like.
462
00:19:04,953 --> 00:19:09,351
So, she goes from, like,
Airbnb to Airbnb all over London
463
00:19:09,353 --> 00:19:12,025
like she's on this permanent
fucking holiday.
464
00:19:12,027 --> 00:19:14,708
A permanent fucking holiday where
I work for you all the time, babe.
465
00:19:14,710 --> 00:19:18,032
- I love London. Fucking love it.
- I fucking love London!
466
00:19:18,034 --> 00:19:20,752
- It is proper. It is the real deal.
- I love it.
467
00:19:20,754 --> 00:19:24,570
Thank you. Uh, so, what, you just
go everywhere, fuck everyone?
468
00:19:24,572 --> 00:19:26,633
No, being bi doesn't mean
you sleep with everyone.
469
00:19:26,635 --> 00:19:28,353
It just means you can be choosy.
470
00:19:28,355 --> 00:19:30,810
- I would fuck you.
- Oh, no, you wouldn't, Suz.
471
00:19:30,812 --> 00:19:31,913
That's not being bi,
472
00:19:31,915 --> 00:19:34,153
that is being a straight woman
who's too eager to please.
473
00:19:34,155 --> 00:19:36,724
- Cringe.
- Wow! Not the vibe.
474
00:19:36,726 --> 00:19:37,908
Really not the vibe.
475
00:19:37,910 --> 00:19:40,634
It's okay 'cause what
Naomi neglects to mention
476
00:19:40,636 --> 00:19:43,274
is that this whole
crowdsourcing-a-home approach
477
00:19:43,276 --> 00:19:46,291
is because she still pays
the mortgage, right?
478
00:19:46,293 --> 00:19:47,839
Won't ask her ex to move out
479
00:19:47,841 --> 00:19:50,279
- even though she owns most of the house.
- Of the two of us,
480
00:19:50,281 --> 00:19:53,115
who is staying on
whose fucking floor? Huh?
481
00:19:53,117 --> 00:19:55,135
Hey, guys, it's the womb room.
It's the womb room.
482
00:19:55,137 --> 00:19:57,035
- It's like a womb. Look at the sofa.
- She's right.
483
00:19:57,037 --> 00:19:58,635
- It's red, it's warm...
- She's fucking right.
484
00:19:58,637 --> 00:20:00,395
I mean, what is gonna...
485
00:20:00,397 --> 00:20:02,876
- BENJAMIN: Come on, man.
- Seriously, what is gonna happen?
486
00:20:02,878 --> 00:20:04,476
Suz, now is not the time.
487
00:20:04,478 --> 00:20:06,356
Hey, there's nothing you
can do about this now.
488
00:20:06,358 --> 00:20:07,813
- No, at home. With Cob.
- I know.
489
00:20:07,815 --> 00:20:09,956
- We'll sort it.
- Yes. With Cob.
490
00:20:09,958 --> 00:20:13,076
I can't leave, can I?
I can't leave because I've...
491
00:20:13,078 --> 00:20:17,328
No, Ben. Because I've got a...
I've got a kid. I've got a kid.
492
00:20:17,330 --> 00:20:19,291
- I've got a fucking medicine cabinet.
- Sit down.
493
00:20:19,293 --> 00:20:21,757
Okay, listen. Okay.
This is... this is the thing.
494
00:20:21,759 --> 00:20:23,557
You cannot do anything
about any of this now.
495
00:20:23,559 --> 00:20:25,797
This is very important. Okay, old hand.
496
00:20:25,799 --> 00:20:29,055
So whatever you do, you do
not move out of the family home.
497
00:20:29,057 --> 00:20:31,455
Fucked me with my second
wife. And for custody.
498
00:20:31,457 --> 00:20:33,778
Yeah, I... I agree.
I know I'm a hypocrite.
499
00:20:33,780 --> 00:20:35,318
But you're the mother.
You bought the house.
500
00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:36,798
- Cob has to leave.
- I did buy the house.
501
00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:38,478
- You know what is really important?
- Yeah?
502
00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:40,958
You wait. See, what is really
important is this Birmingham coke.
503
00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:44,262
And the... the very specific
way that you must do it.
504
00:20:44,264 --> 00:20:45,325
There is.
505
00:20:45,327 --> 00:20:48,439
Which you, Naomi with
the drugs are unaware of.
506
00:20:48,441 --> 00:20:50,759
- Way?
- Oh, look, she's gonna chill there.
507
00:20:50,761 --> 00:20:54,720
Um, you... Well, first of all,
you need to take your pants off.
508
00:20:54,722 --> 00:20:56,722
(NAOMI AND BEN LAUGH)
509
00:21:07,003 --> 00:21:09,681
(SLOWED-DOWN VERSION OF
'BYE-BYE BABY' BY MARILYN MONROE)
510
00:21:09,683 --> 00:21:13,201
- SONG: ♪ I'll be in my room... ♪
- I love you.
511
00:21:13,203 --> 00:21:15,683
NAOMI: Oh, it's burning.
512
00:21:16,803 --> 00:21:18,803
(SNORTS)
513
00:21:20,524 --> 00:21:23,722
SUZIE: Is this what you want?! Is it?!
514
00:21:23,724 --> 00:21:27,722
Well, have it! Have it all!
515
00:21:27,724 --> 00:21:31,202
Huh! I met my... I met my exercise goal!
516
00:21:31,204 --> 00:21:32,500
Goal!
517
00:21:32,502 --> 00:21:33,803
Well, that's a big achievement
518
00:21:33,805 --> 00:21:35,203
considering you haven't been anywhere.
519
00:21:35,205 --> 00:21:36,723
Listen, I've been thinking.
520
00:21:36,725 --> 00:21:39,123
Let's look at the pictures
and everything else.
521
00:21:39,125 --> 00:21:42,323
- No. Now is not the right time.
- Let it wash over me as part of life.
522
00:21:42,325 --> 00:21:44,083
- No, no.
- No, it is. (GIGGLES)
523
00:21:44,085 --> 00:21:46,164
- We're in prison.
- This is a fun time!
524
00:21:46,166 --> 00:21:47,564
- Ahh!
- No, this is the best time.
525
00:21:47,566 --> 00:21:49,204
I'm with people that I feel safe with.
526
00:21:49,206 --> 00:21:50,884
You know, like when you do LSD...
527
00:21:50,886 --> 00:21:54,044
- Benjamin, you totally understand...
- Yes. Yes. I understand all of ya.
528
00:21:54,046 --> 00:21:55,541
- And you.
- NAOMI: Yeah.
529
00:21:55,543 --> 00:21:59,165
You've been friends with me
since we were in the womb.
530
00:21:59,167 --> 00:22:03,165
We're now... we're now in the womb room.
531
00:22:03,167 --> 00:22:04,388
NAOMI AND BEN: Ooh!
532
00:22:04,390 --> 00:22:06,862
So, basically, I won this,
like, talent competition.
533
00:22:06,864 --> 00:22:11,206
Yeah, when I was, like, 15.
Yeah. And... whatever.
534
00:22:11,208 --> 00:22:13,526
Like, my parents were just,
you know, were into their own...
535
00:22:13,528 --> 00:22:15,446
- (NAOMI LAUGHS)
- They're into their own thing.
536
00:22:15,448 --> 00:22:19,566
And Naomi was doing her A-Levels
because she's fucking smart.
537
00:22:19,568 --> 00:22:21,486
NAOMI: Yes. I'm not just a pretty face.
538
00:22:21,488 --> 00:22:24,910
It used to be my dad managing
me and then Naomi was like,
539
00:22:24,912 --> 00:22:29,407
"You can't be on some
fucking stranger's books".
540
00:22:29,409 --> 00:22:31,567
So, like, first it was
my dad and then...
541
00:22:31,569 --> 00:22:33,847
You're not listening.
In spite of my dad...
542
00:22:33,849 --> 00:22:35,971
('BYE-BYE BABY' BY MARILYN MONROE
CONTINUES)
543
00:22:35,973 --> 00:22:37,974
Are you...
544
00:22:39,210 --> 00:22:41,008
Are you touching her?
545
00:22:41,010 --> 00:22:42,848
- Yeah, could be.
- (GIGGLES)
546
00:22:42,850 --> 00:22:43,968
♪ No other... ♪
547
00:22:43,970 --> 00:22:46,248
- This is...
- (BENJAMIN LAUGHS)
548
00:22:46,250 --> 00:22:51,611
♪ Guy... ♪
549
00:22:52,651 --> 00:22:55,129
- (BENJAMIN LAUGHS)
- NAOMI: Oh, my God.
550
00:22:55,131 --> 00:22:57,609
♪ Though I'll ♪
551
00:22:57,611 --> 00:23:03,050
♪ Be gone ♪
552
00:23:03,052 --> 00:23:08,372
♪ For a while ♪
553
00:23:10,132 --> 00:23:14,811
♪ I know that ♪
554
00:23:14,813 --> 00:23:17,051
♪ I'll be ♪
555
00:23:17,053 --> 00:23:23,933
♪ Smiling... ♪
556
00:23:25,773 --> 00:23:27,774
(LIFT PINGS)
557
00:23:30,094 --> 00:23:34,652
Suzie! Suzie! Oh, I love you, Suzie.
558
00:23:34,654 --> 00:23:37,892
- (SONG SPEEDS UP)
- ♪ My baby, by and by, and by ♪
559
00:23:37,894 --> 00:23:42,333
- ♪ With my baby, by and by... ♪
- Whose cock is it, Suzie?
560
00:23:42,335 --> 00:23:43,813
♪ I'll be gloomy... ♪
561
00:23:43,815 --> 00:23:47,173
- Suzie! I love you, Suzie!
- ♪ But send that rainbow to me... ♪
562
00:23:47,175 --> 00:23:50,173
FAN: Suzie!
563
00:23:50,175 --> 00:23:52,333
COB: Whose cock is it, Suzie?
564
00:23:52,335 --> 00:23:53,934
♪ Though you'll be gone for a while... ♪
565
00:23:53,936 --> 00:23:55,574
FAN: I love you, Suzie!
566
00:23:55,576 --> 00:23:57,576
(SILENCE)
567
00:24:01,642 --> 00:24:07,642
_
568
00:24:12,308 --> 00:24:15,308
_
569
00:24:17,386 --> 00:24:25,386
_
570
00:24:25,388 --> 00:24:29,888
_
571
00:24:31,218 --> 00:24:33,859
(WATER RUNS)
572
00:24:38,299 --> 00:24:40,699
(SLOW PIANO JAZZ)
573
00:24:57,341 --> 00:24:59,541
(BOTTLE CLATTERS)
574
00:25:28,583 --> 00:25:30,623
(MUSIC DISTORTS)
575
00:25:38,624 --> 00:25:40,624
(WATER BUBBLES)
576
00:25:44,424 --> 00:25:46,942
(CHEERING)
577
00:25:46,944 --> 00:25:49,903
- MAN: Suzie!
- MAN 2: Suzie!
578
00:25:49,905 --> 00:25:52,223
COB: Whose cock is it, Suzie?
579
00:25:52,225 --> 00:25:54,225
(DREAMY, UNEASY MUSIC)
580
00:25:59,865 --> 00:26:01,866
(WATER GLUGS)
581
00:26:09,746 --> 00:26:11,144
(GROANS)
582
00:26:11,146 --> 00:26:13,146
(BANGING AT DOOR)
583
00:26:21,707 --> 00:26:24,665
- Arrgh.
- (BANGING AT DOOR)
584
00:26:24,667 --> 00:26:26,826
Arrgh!
585
00:26:26,828 --> 00:26:28,828
(BANGING CONTINUES)
586
00:26:29,788 --> 00:26:32,668
- (INSISTENT BANGING AT DOOR)
- (GASPS)
587
00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:42,930
_
588
00:26:51,749 --> 00:26:53,750
(COUGHS)
589
00:26:58,510 --> 00:27:00,510
(SNIFFS)
590
00:27:07,791 --> 00:27:09,791
What, are you pissed off with me?
591
00:27:11,591 --> 00:27:14,749
You took the only room key, you
didn't answer your phone again.
592
00:27:14,751 --> 00:27:17,149
- Sorry. You gave him a blowjob.
- It's incredibly frustrating.
593
00:27:17,151 --> 00:27:19,150
- For about six minutes.
- I didn't realise you could talk.
594
00:27:19,152 --> 00:27:20,333
I'm sorry if you liked him.
595
00:27:20,335 --> 00:27:23,670
If anything, that's a testament
to your terrible taste in men.
596
00:27:23,672 --> 00:27:25,990
If I could go back and
anti-fuck him, I would.
597
00:27:25,992 --> 00:27:28,510
- You fucked him?
- What was I supposed to do?
598
00:27:28,512 --> 00:27:30,430
Talk sci-fi?
599
00:27:30,432 --> 00:27:31,911
I couldn't give him another blowjob
600
00:27:31,913 --> 00:27:33,471
'cause I couldn't
breathe through my nose
601
00:27:33,473 --> 00:27:34,871
because you'd made me buy cocaine.
602
00:27:34,873 --> 00:27:36,174
Oh, God. Sorry.
603
00:27:36,176 --> 00:27:38,111
His crotch smelled like
he'd had sex with a bin.
604
00:27:38,113 --> 00:27:40,113
(COUGHS)
605
00:27:49,354 --> 00:27:52,032
Well, I took a bunch of
sleeping pills last night.
606
00:27:52,034 --> 00:27:53,432
- What?
- I don't...
607
00:27:53,434 --> 00:27:56,032
- What do you mean, "a bunch"?
- I dunno, I...
608
00:27:56,034 --> 00:27:58,593
- Well, how many?
- To get rid... Like, four.
609
00:27:58,595 --> 00:28:00,113
- Maybe five.
- Four?
610
00:28:00,115 --> 00:28:03,033
- Four.
- Four, okay. Wow.
611
00:28:03,035 --> 00:28:05,035
That seems like a weird amount.
612
00:28:06,195 --> 00:28:10,074
Well, I would've taken more,
wouldn't I, but I fell asleep.
613
00:28:10,076 --> 00:28:11,690
Because they're sleeping pills.
614
00:28:11,692 --> 00:28:14,004
- Fucking hell. What is wrong with you?
- Oh, that's nice.
615
00:28:14,006 --> 00:28:16,874
- So you would have died...
- Really nice! I wouldn't have died.
616
00:28:16,876 --> 00:28:18,954
... while I was miserably
banging Benjamin Detroit
617
00:28:18,956 --> 00:28:21,074
so you wouldn't have to.
618
00:28:21,076 --> 00:28:23,195
What have we said
about sleeping pills, hmm?
619
00:28:23,197 --> 00:28:25,795
They're great.
620
00:28:25,797 --> 00:28:28,555
Marilyn Monroe, Elvis Presley...
621
00:28:28,557 --> 00:28:29,955
- Oh, Elvis Presley.
- Heath Ledger!
622
00:28:29,957 --> 00:28:32,195
Didn't he die on the toilet?
623
00:28:32,197 --> 00:28:34,195
He didn't die from being
on the toilet, did he?
624
00:28:34,197 --> 00:28:35,482
He didn't die 'from toilet'.
625
00:28:35,484 --> 00:28:37,905
You know, I can't take you
anymore. I can't take this.
626
00:28:37,907 --> 00:28:40,787
I feel like I'm having a
nervous fucking breakdown.
627
00:28:47,679 --> 00:28:49,799
I'm sorry. Sorry.
628
00:28:51,695 --> 00:28:53,894
How could you not tell me you
were fucking someone else?
629
00:28:53,896 --> 00:28:56,597
- I wasn't!
- I just found out like everyone else!
630
00:28:56,599 --> 00:29:00,880
- I'm your best fucking friend!
- Because you'd be cross like this.
631
00:29:04,360 --> 00:29:05,798
- (SNIFFS)
- I know who it is, Suz.
632
00:29:05,800 --> 00:29:09,478
No, you don't know who it is.
633
00:29:09,480 --> 00:29:11,480
Do you? Is it obvious?
634
00:29:13,721 --> 00:29:15,921
God, it's obvious. Yeah.
635
00:29:16,921 --> 00:29:19,361
You know what you have to do, right?
636
00:29:21,001 --> 00:29:23,079
There's no way back from this.
637
00:29:23,081 --> 00:29:27,320
You have to tell Cob
it's over. Get him out.
638
00:29:27,322 --> 00:29:30,440
You have to move back into the
family home that you paid for...
639
00:29:30,442 --> 00:29:31,783
- Yeah.
- ... with Frank.
640
00:29:31,785 --> 00:29:34,406
- Yeah, I know.
- Really?
641
00:29:34,408 --> 00:29:36,408
Okay, good.
642
00:29:43,443 --> 00:29:45,963
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACH)
643
00:29:47,763 --> 00:29:49,763
These are yours.
644
00:29:54,404 --> 00:29:57,002
So, um, I have something to say.
645
00:29:57,004 --> 00:29:59,305
(SIGHS)
646
00:29:59,307 --> 00:30:01,328
(SCOFFS) Ooh.
647
00:30:01,330 --> 00:30:04,051
No, no, no. I just think that, um...
648
00:30:05,685 --> 00:30:10,266
I... I have been thinking about things
649
00:30:10,268 --> 00:30:13,909
and I think you're right, I think
you deserve an explanation.
650
00:30:13,911 --> 00:30:16,271
(SCOFFS) Mmm.
651
00:30:21,286 --> 00:30:23,926
I did sleep with someone else.
652
00:30:25,026 --> 00:30:30,285
And I have a photos of
that from a long time ago.
653
00:30:30,287 --> 00:30:33,046
And it is over.
654
00:30:33,048 --> 00:30:34,086
It was over.
655
00:30:34,088 --> 00:30:36,725
But what... what I really want to say
656
00:30:36,727 --> 00:30:40,148
is that I think me being out
and away from the house,
657
00:30:40,150 --> 00:30:41,451
I don't think that's right.
658
00:30:41,453 --> 00:30:43,806
I don't think that's right for Frank.
659
00:30:43,808 --> 00:30:46,886
I don't think it's right for... for me
660
00:30:46,888 --> 00:30:49,686
and I... ultimately, I don't
think it's right for you.
661
00:30:49,688 --> 00:30:51,949
I think I need to be here.
662
00:30:51,951 --> 00:30:54,686
I think that is what's right.
663
00:30:54,688 --> 00:30:58,390
And so what I'm saying is that
664
00:30:58,392 --> 00:31:00,127
I want to be at home
665
00:31:00,129 --> 00:31:04,967
and I am not prepared
to accept a no on that.
666
00:31:04,969 --> 00:31:09,450
And that is how I want
to move forward. 100%.
667
00:31:17,930 --> 00:31:19,328
Uh, well.
668
00:31:19,330 --> 00:31:22,451
I think that's what I needed to hear.
669
00:31:23,347 --> 00:31:25,026
It's going to be difficult,
you're right, you know,
670
00:31:25,028 --> 00:31:26,849
but we owe it to Frank.
671
00:31:26,851 --> 00:31:28,609
To each other.
672
00:31:28,611 --> 00:31:31,049
SUZIE: Mm-hm.
673
00:31:31,051 --> 00:31:33,211
Well, I mean, obviously,
you're going to have to, uh...
674
00:31:35,532 --> 00:31:37,130
... you're going to have
to tell me everything
675
00:31:37,132 --> 00:31:38,530
and I will decide what it means.
676
00:31:38,532 --> 00:31:40,156
But, um, in the meantime, yes,
677
00:31:40,158 --> 00:31:42,158
I accept your offer to
come back to the house.
678
00:31:45,494 --> 00:31:49,156
And what about... what about you?
679
00:31:49,158 --> 00:31:51,158
Well, I will, um...
680
00:31:53,293 --> 00:31:56,833
I will work towards
considering forgiving you.
681
00:32:00,214 --> 00:32:02,812
- Here?
- Because I...
682
00:32:02,814 --> 00:32:05,475
Yeah, I'll admit that it can't
have been easy for you either.
683
00:32:05,477 --> 00:32:09,077
And, uh, well, you're gonna need
my help to get through it, frankly.
684
00:32:11,374 --> 00:32:13,275
Aren't you?
685
00:32:18,455 --> 00:32:20,455
(SENTIMENTAL JAZZ MUSIC)
686
00:32:21,935 --> 00:32:24,653
COB: Okay.
687
00:32:24,655 --> 00:32:26,656
I'm here.
688
00:32:48,497 --> 00:32:50,738
(PHONE BUZZES AND RINGTONE PLAYS)
689
00:33:04,779 --> 00:33:06,779
(PHONE BEEPS)
690
00:33:11,619 --> 00:33:13,619
Hey. Yeah.
691
00:33:14,899 --> 00:33:17,700
I don't know, I just... I've been
trying to find the right time.
692
00:33:19,180 --> 00:33:21,860
I'm so sorry about all this.
693
00:33:23,940 --> 00:33:25,940
No-one knows it's you.
694
00:33:28,340 --> 00:33:30,941
(SENTIMENTAL FOLK SONG)
695
00:33:33,901 --> 00:33:36,459
SONG: ♪ Hey, my love ♪
696
00:33:36,461 --> 00:33:38,779
♪ What you doing? ♪
697
00:33:38,781 --> 00:33:41,179
♪ You come to watch ♪
698
00:33:41,181 --> 00:33:43,740
♪ The flowers blooming ♪
699
00:33:43,742 --> 00:33:47,060
♪ Satellite in the sky ♪
700
00:33:47,062 --> 00:33:49,342
♪ My, oh, my ♪
701
00:33:53,622 --> 00:33:58,621
♪ I never met someone like you ♪
702
00:33:58,623 --> 00:34:00,743
♪ You turn my world... ♪
703
00:34:07,033 --> 00:34:11,033
- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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