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male announcer: HIGHLAND PARK, KNOWN AS THE HUBCAP

OF THE MIGHTY INDUSTRIAL WHEEL THAT IS DETROIT,

CELEBRATES ITS FABLED PAST,

BIRTHPLACE OF THE PRODUCTION LINE,

THE NEW IDEA THAT HARD WORK AN INGENUITY

HAVE CREATED THE MIGHTIEST ECONOMIC ENGINE

IN HUMAN HISTORY,

ONE CAPABLE OF PROVIDING NEARLY EVERYONE

THE BENEFITS OF A WELL-PAYING JOB.

FROM FARMLAND TO CRADLE OF THE AMERICAN DREAM

IN JUST HALF A CENTURY.

ON THE MOVE AS ALWAYS, THIS TOWN OF TOMORROW

LOOKS FORWARD AS IT PAUSES TO LOOK BACK.

WHERE THE STATUE OF LIBERTY

ONCE WELCOMED THOSE IN SEARCH OF HOPE,

HIGHLAND PARK'S MAIN LIBRARY NOW STANDS

AS THE BEACON OF CIVIC PRIDE

TO MILLIONS IN SEARCH OF OPPORTUNITY.

HIGHLAND PARK CIVIC LEADERS HAVE LEFT NOTHING TO CHANCE...

male announcer: INCUMBENT MAYOR SHIRLEY PAINE

STILL LEADS THE POLLS, DESPITE HER ANNOUNCEMENT

OF BIDING NEW AUSTERITY MEASURES.

THE FURTHER CUTS IN FUNDING FOR FIREFIGHTERS,

NURSING STAFF, AND SCHOOL PROGRAMS

HIGHLIGHT HIGHLAND PARK'S EVER-DEEPENING FINANCIAL CRISIS

AND RAISE MORE QUESTIONS ABOUT SPENDING PRIORITIES

AS WELL AS THE MAYOR'S AWARD OF EXPENSIVE CONTRACTS

TO CLOSE ASSOCIATES.

WHEN ASKED WHY SHE ALLOCATES MILLIONS TO VANITY PROJECTS

LIKE THE NEW STADIUM

WHILE FAILING TO MAINTAIN OUR CRUMBLING INFRASTRUCTURE,

THE COLORFUL MAYOR SCOFFED AT HINTS OF MISCONDUCT,

STATING THAT MONUMENTAL PROBLEMS FACING THE CITY

DEMAND LEADERSHIP WITH SHINY, BIG IDEAS

THAT GET PEOPLE'S ATTENTION,

NOT UNSEXY PROJECTS LIKE STORM DRAIN MAINTENANCE.

SHE REITERATED HER CAMPAIGN PROMISE

TO CREATE JOBS BY FOSTERING LARGE-SCALE DEVELOPMENTS,

LIKE CONSTRUCTION OF A FASHION OUTLET MALL

ON THE SITE WHERE THE CITY'S MAIN LIBRARY NOW STANDS.

SHE DEFENDED PLANS TO DEMOLISH VACANT STRUCTURES

TO ELIMINATE THE COST OF POLICING

THE SPARSELY POPULATED...

- COME ON, KIDS.

LET'S ALL GATHER ROUND. LET'S GO!

LET'S GO, MEN.

LISTEN UP. TAKE A KNEE.

- LLOYD, WITH WATERFORD,

THAT'S 1,261 PLANTS SHUT

SINCE THEY CLOSED THE MAIN LIBRARY.

- I GUESS I SHOULD BE MORE REALISTIC.

- WELL, YOU'VE ONLY BEEN OUT OF SCHOOL A LITTLE WHILE.

IF YOU STILL WANT TO SING IN A COUPLE OF YEARS,

WE CAN LOOK INTO A PROGRAM.

BUT UNTIL THEN, I WOULD NOT GIVE UP MY DAY JOB.

- SHE WILL NOT STAY THE SIEGE OF LOVING TERMS,

NOR BIDE THE ENCOUNTER OF LOVING EYES,

NOR OPEN HER LAP TO SAINT-SEDUCING GOLD.

BUT SOFT, WHAT LIGHT THROUGH YONDER WINDOW BREAKS?

- JESUS CHRIST.

YOU KNOW, DO ME A FAVOR

AND RUN YOUR LINE OVER A FEW TIMES.

- HEY.

CHRIST.

- WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, MAN?

- YOU SEE THIS?

THESE OLD FURNACES,

ELEGANT AND SIMPLE, CAN WORK FOREVER.

NONE OF THAT DISPOSABLE TECHNOLOGY.

- WELL, THEN WHY ISN'T IT WORKING?

- BECAUSE IT WAS INSTALLED

DURING THE HOOVER ADMINISTRATION.

AND SOMEBODY'S GOT TO MAINTAIN IT.

- YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU WERE FIRED TWO YEARS AGO, ED.

WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?

- RETIRED.

I RETIRED. - OKAY.

- YEAH, YOU WANT TO FREEZE THIS WINTER?

OH, PSH. COME ON, IT'S TIME TO GO.

- YEAH, I'LL DRIVE.

- YOU'RE KILLING ME.

YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY KILLING ME.

- YOU'RE ALREADY DEAD.

- SHIT.

HEY, PRINCIPAL HOWARD.

- HEY, JESS.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THE BUS?

- OH, UH, TRANSMISSION WENT OUT ON THE FORD,

AND WITH THE TWINS' BIRTHDAYS COMING UP,

I JUST FIGURED, YOU KNOW, I'D DRIVE THE BUS--

- HERE'S THE THING: ONE OF THE PARENTS DRIVES BY,

SEES THE SCHOOL BUS PARKED IN FRONT OF A BAR...

- YEAH. NO. I GOT IT.

- YEAH. - YEAH.

I'LL GET IT MOVED RIGHT AWAY.

- HEY. SWITCH THE CHANNEL, HAL.

- OH, WE GOT TIME. WHAT ABOUT THE MOOSE?

- HEY, GUYS.

- YEAH, I'LL FIX IT WHEN I GET BACK.

- YEAH, IT'S JUST THAT, YOU KNOW,

HE'S KIND OF FREAKING OUT THE PATRONS

WITH THE, UH, ONE EYE AND EVERYTHING.

- HEY, HAL, THE TUBE.

- YEAH, AIN'T LIKE IT'S GOING ANYWHERE.

male announcer: WELCOME TO MEGA MILLIONS

WITH MEGA JACKPOT AND... - SORRY.

THAT'S MY STOOL.

announcer: ONCE AGAIN, IT'S LUCKY THURSDAY.

- HEY, COME ON, COME ON, COME ON, COME ON.

I'LL GET YOU ANOTHER DRINK.

IF NOT IN THIS LIFE, THE NEXT.

announcer: A PATH TO YOUR DOOR.

AFTER A SHORT BREAK, WE...

- ED...

IS THAT STOOL REALLY THAT IMPORTANT?

- YEAH. - THERE YOU GO.

- HOW IS IT POSSIBLE THAT, AFTER TEN YEARS,

YOU STILL THINK SITTING ON THAT STOOL

IS GONNA MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE?

- HEY, COME ON, MAN. IT HASN'T BEEN THAT LONG.

- SHAUN, WE STARTED PLAYING THESE NUMBERS

IN THE FRIGGIN' '90s.

female announcer: EARN YOUR BUSINESS,

A DOLLAR AT A TIME.

male announcer: WELCOME BACK.

- AND YOUR MEATLOAF.

- THANK YOU, HAL.

announcer: THIS WEEK'S DRAWING IS

THE SECOND-BIGGEST JACKPOT IN STATE HISTORY.

THE LOTTERY PROVIDES SUPPORT FOR SCHOOLS...

- OH, YEAH. SOME SUPPORT.

WE ALONE SPEND THOUSANDS.

THEY JUST KEEP CUTTING PROGRAMS, FUNDING.

- LIKE, THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS?

- YEAH, JESSIE, DOLLARS.

12 TICKETS A WEEK FOR OVER A DECADE.

THAT'S OVER $6,000.

announcer: GOOD LUCK, EVERYONE.

YOUR WINNING NUMBERS ARE...

49.

- OH... - WHOO!

- THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT.

announcer: NEXT IS 38.

NEXT, WE HAVE 44.

AND THAT'S FOLLOWED BY 48.

AND NOW, TONIGHT'S GOLD MEGA BALL IS...

13. - FUCK.

announcer: IF NO ONE WINS THIS ONE...

- AND I GUESS I DIDN'T MISS ANYTHING.

- NOPE. announcer: NEXT WEEK'S JACKPOT

WILL BE A RECORD OF OVER $250 MILLION.

REMEMBER, THE FUTURE'S IN YOUR HANDS.

male announcer: TONIGHT, WE'RE REPORTING

ON MAYOR SHIRLEY PAINE'S CONTROVERSIAL PLAN

TO DEMOLISH THE HISTORIC MAIN LIBRARY,

ONCE THE HEART OF HIGHLAND PARK'S CIVIC CORE.

SHE HAD THIS TO SAY ABOUT PLANS FOR A NEW FASHION CENTER MALL

TO REPLACE THE 90-YEAR-OLD MOZART STRUCTURE.

- ISN'T THAT WONDERFUL?

announcer: THE MAYOR SAYS SHE'LL UTILIZE

A $150,000 FEDERAL GRANT,

ORIGINALLY EARMARKED TO STUDY THE LIBRARY'S RESTORATION,

TO INSTEAD DEMO THE... - IS, UM...

ANYBODY ELSE QUESTIONING THESE NUMBERS

WE'VE BEEN PLAYING FOR OVER TEN FREAKIN' YEARS?

ED, I UNDERSTAND.

YOU KNOW, YOUR OLD MAN WON THAT SWEEPSTAKES

WITH THE 12 LUCKY TICKETS.

- ONE FOR EACH APOSTLE.

- YOU DON'T EVEN BELIEVE IN RELIGION.

- I BELIEVE IN FATE.

- SO WE WERE FATED TO PLAY 6,000 LOTTO TICKETS

AND NOT WIN A DIME.

- STARTING TO SOUND LIKE YOU'RE BLAMING ME FOR SOMETHING.

- I'M NOT BLAMING YOU, I--

BUT... LET'S LOOK AT THIS.

DOES ANYONE CONSIDER THESE MIGHT BE OUR UNLUCKY NUMBERS?

I MEAN, 12 AND 13.

WELL, THOSE ARE FOR YOUR ANNIVERSARY, RIGHT, JESS?

- YEAH. WHY?

- HOW LONG YOU BEEN DIVORCED?

- HEY, I HAPPEN TO LIKE MY BIRTHDAY.

- I GOT NO PROBLEM WITH YOUR BIRTHDAY, TONI.

ED'S BIRTHDAY...

- IT WASN'T MY FAULT

I WAS BORN THE SAME DAY AS HITLER.

- OH.

- NO, IT WASN'T. IT WAS FATE, RIGHT?

I MEAN, ALL I'M SAYING IS THAT, UH,

GUYS, NONE OF US HAVE ANY MONEY

TO WASTE ANYMORE.

I KNOW IT'S JUST A COUPLE OF BUCKS A WEEK,

BUT WITH THE MONEY WE'VE SPENT SO FAR,

WE COULD HAVE BOUGHT SOME BOOKS.

WE COULD HAVE, I DON'T KNOW, PLANTED A GARDEN.

WE COULD BE SENDING A BETTER MESSAGE TO OUR STUDENTS

THAN, "GROW UP AND GET TOGETHER ONCE A WEEK

AND PRAY FOR A MIRACLE." - NAH, COME ON, LLOYD.

NOW, WHAT IS NOT WHAT WE'RE DOING HERE.

- I'M JUST HERE FOR THE BEER.

- HERE, HAL.

HERE YOU GO. I'M OUT OF HERE.

- THAT COVER NEXT WEEK'S TICKETS?

- NOPE, THAT'S JUST FOR THE BEER AND THE MYSTERY MEAT.

- LLOYD. YOU OUT?

- COME ON, STICK AROUND. PLAY SOME DARTS.

- YEAH.

YOU REALLY OUT?

- GOOD LUCK, GUYS.

- GOT A BAD-ASS ATTITUDE.

I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY.

THESE ARE OUR LUCKY NUMBERS:

ANNIVERSARIES, KIDS' BIRTHDAYS.

THAT'S WHO WE ARE. - YOU SAYING WE'RE LOSERS?

- OKAY. WHO'S BEING CUT?

- ALL OF THEM.

DO ME A FAVOR: DON'T-- DON'T SAY ANYTHING.

LET'S LET 'EM HAVE THIS LAST NIGHT

BEFORE THEY GIVE UP ON THIS PLACE FOR GOOD.

- ♪ WHAT'S A FIGHT WITH THE RIGHT TO KEEP IT CLEAN ♪

♪ WHAT'S THE HARM FROM AN ANGLE OF DEFEAT ♪

♪ IF EVERY STEP WE LIVE OUTSIDE ♪

- IS HE OKAY? - SURE, HE'S FINE.

- ♪ AND GO TO SLEEP ♪

- SO WE'RE STILL GONNA DO THIS?

- SURE, OF COURSE. NOW, I'LL COVER HIS BET.

- AW, MAN, WITH A STREAK LIKE OURS.

- ♪ SELL A TALE AT A PRICE WE CAN AGREE ♪

♪ WHAT'S THE HARM IN CHARGING... ♪

- HEY. I GOT YOU COVERED, OKAY?

- ♪ JUST TO STOP THEM FROM BELIEF ♪

- I'LL BUY THE TICKETS ON MY WAY UP TO THE LAKE.

ALL RIGHT?

- ♪ OH, WHERE THEY CAN NEVER REACH ♪

- CAROLINE, SHUT UP.

- ROMEO...

- YOU ARE DEFINITELY OVER YOUR VIDEO LIMIT.

UPSTAIRS. MATH.

CAROLINE, SWEETHEART, CAN YOU PLEASE

GO AND DECLAIM SOMEWHERE ELSE, ALL RIGHT?

HEY, YOU. - HEY.

- DID YOU TELL THEM?

- WHAT WAS I GONNA SAY?

"THANK YOU FOR 20 YEARS OF DEDICATION,

"BUT YOU BETTER GO FIND SOMEPLACE TO FLIP BURGERS NOW,

"BECAUSE, SPORTS ARENAS,

THEY BUY MORE BOATS THAN STUDENTS WHO CAN READ."

- NOBODY'S GONNA TALK TO ME ANYMORE.

- YES, THEY WILL.

NOBODY THINKS THIS IS YOUR FAULT.

- YEAH. MAYBE.

MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE STUCK TO TEACHING HISTORY.

- YOU HUNGRY?

I, UH...

ATE SOME MEATLOAF.

- EWW.

TOLD YOU NOT TO EAT THAT.

- I THINK IT'S DOG.

- YEAH, I'M NOT HUNGRY.

JUST KEEP LOOKING FOR SIGNS.

SOMETHING THAT TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

- HOW DO YOU MEAN?

- I KNOW I'M SUPERSTITIOUS.

- ECCENTRIC, ED. - NO.

- YOU'RE ECCENTRIC.

- THERE'S JUST SOMETHING OUT THERE YOU GOTTA FIND.

AT SOME POINT, YOU EITHER GIVE UP ON IT

OR DECIDE YOU'RE GONNA DO BATTLE.

MY STOMACH'S GROWLING.

WANNA STOP TO GET LUNCH?

- DON'T KNOW WHERE, WAY OUT HERE.

WOULDN'T GO COUNTING ON THAT AS ANY BIG SIGN.

WELL, THAT WAS FATE.

- HEY, WAIT, WAIT.

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THIS?

- PICK ONE, OF COURSE. - THEY'RE ONLY COOKIES, ED.

LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE OUT OF LUCK.

GO AHEAD. TAKE ANOTHER.

LEGEND SAYS YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO PICK THE ONE

THAT'S POINTING AT YOU.

- BUT REMEMBER TO EAT THE WHOLE THING,

OR IT WON'T COME TRUE.

OR WAS IT, YOU EAT THE FORTUNE

AND...

HMM.

- SOMETIMES,

YOU'VE JUST GOTTA TAKE THINGS INTO YOUR OWN HANDS.

- WHAT'S IT SAY?

- YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TELL.

- THIS IS AWESOME.

- LLOYD...

YOU READY FOR SOME PAIN?

- YES. - THE MAYOR'S HERE

FOR YOUR LIST OF CUTS. - MM-HMM.

YEAH, SEND HER IN.

- IT'S TIME TO SHARE THE PAIN, LLOYD.

SHARE THE PAIN. - THAT'S A GREAT SLOGAN.

YOU SHOULD RUN ON THAT.

YOU KNOW, SHIRLEY,

WHY DON'T YOU JUST SHUT THE WHOLE SCHOOL DOWN?

I MEAN, ALL THESE KIDS REALLY NEED TO KNOW

IS HOW TO SUPERSIZE A FRIGGIN' COMBO MEAL, RIGHT?

- YOU STILL CAN'T GET YOUR MOUTH AROUND THE WORD "FUCKIN'."

IF YOU'D FIGURED THAT OUT 20 YEARS AGO,

YOU MIGHT BE DOING SOMETHING WORTHWHILE BY NOW.

- YOU OBVIOUSLY HAVE NO PROBLEM

GETTING YOUR MOUTH AROUND THINGS.

- YOU GOT YOUR LIST?

- YEAH.

I GOT IT.

I DIDN'T FIRE ANY FIREFIGHTERS

OR ANYTHING HEROIC LIKE THAT,

JUST LET GO OF THE LAST PEOPLE

COMMITTED TO THIS CITY'S FUTURE.

THAT'S ALL.

- ♪ DOWN BY THE RIVERSIDE ♪

- WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? - ♪ THE RIVERSIDE ♪

- THAT WOULD BE ONE OF THE BUDGET CUTS.

- OH.

- SO, UH... - HMM?

- I GUESS LAST NIGHT MAKES SENSE NOW.

LLOYD'S CANNING US.

ALL OF US.

- NOW, EVERYBODY, GATHER AROUND.

I NEED TO TALK TO YOU FOR A SECOND.

- HERE'S THE THING.

SCHOOL BOARD HAS ANNOUNCED

THAT THEY'RE GONNA HAVE TO CUT FUNDING

FOR ALL INTRAMURAL SPORTS, INCLUDING FOOTBALL.

all: WHAT?

- SO THEY'RE GONNA CANCEL THE REST OF THE SEASON.

THEY SAID WE COULD KEEP PLAYING,

IF WE WANTED TO ACCEPT CERTAIN RULE CHANGES.

I TOLD 'EM TO SHOVE IT UP THEIR ASS.

- WHAT KIND OF RULES, COACH? - TWO-HANDED TOUCH.

NO RUSHING THE PASSER TILL FIVE-MISSISSIPPI.

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? - FUCK THAT!

THAT'S SOME BULLSHIT!

- BUT I WOULD RATHER FORFEIT ALL OF OUR GAMES

THAN TURN YOU GUYS INTO A BUNCH OF PUSSIES!

- THAT'S RIGHT, COACH! - THAT'S RIGHT!

- ♪ YEAH ♪

♪ HA HA ♪

♪ YEAH ♪

♪ ALL RIGHT ♪

♪ YEAH ♪

♪ AH HA YEAH ♪

- JUST BE KIND OF CALM.

- IT'S $10.45 FOR THAT TOY GUN.

AND I'LL SUGGEST YOU WANT TO PUT THE SKI MASK

BACK ON AISLE SEVEN, OR I'M GONNA HAVE

TO CHARGE YOU FOR THAT TOO.

NOW, YOU GOT ANYTHING ELSE UNDER THERE?

NOW, YOU COULD HAVE GOT A DISCOUNT ON THE GUN SET,

BUT YOU OPENED IT.

MAKEUP SET. THAT'S CLEARANCE.

THERE'S THAT.

JESS, MAN, YOU STONED AGAIN?

MAN, YOU GO ON DOING THIS,

AND SOMEBODY MIGHT JUST SHOOT YOU FOR THE HELL OF IT.

- HEY, OH!

GET IN THE KITCHEN. COME BACK HERE.

A GUN, HUH?

- YEAH, IT'S ALL THEY HAD.

- UM, SO HOW ABOUT THE CHECK, JESS?

YOU BUY PRESENTS, I CAN'T BUY CLOTHES.

GOD DAMN IT, JESSIE. YOU'RE LIKE A KID.

YOU KNOW, YOU DON'T GET VISITATION

WITHOUT CHILD SUPPORT.

- I'M ON TO SOMETHING.

OKAY? JUST GIVE ME A LITTLE BIT OF TIME.

- RIGHT, RIGHT, ONE OF YOUR GROW LIGHT POT SCHEMES

WITH NICKY?

I'M SORRY, JESSIE, BUT NO CHECK,

NO KIDS.

I DON'T WANNA DO THIS ANYMORE.

- THE INTERNSHIP'S A CROCK OF SHIT.

THOUGHT IT WAS A GREAT STEP.

GET ME INTO POLITICS.

GET REAL EXPERIENCE.

BUT THE MAYOR'S SUCH A FREAK.

IF THIS IS POLITICS, I SHOULD HAVE DROPPED OUT INSTEAD.

WALKED MAIN IN GARTERS.

BEEN A CRACK WHORE AND WORKED MY WAY UP.

RUN FOR MAYOR MYSELF. - MM-HMM.

- ARE YOU PAYING ANY ATTENTION?

I'M SORRY.

I JUST FOUND OUT TODAY'S MY LAST DAY.

- YEAH, I KNOW.

- YOU KNOW?

- INTERNSHIP'S IN MAYOR'S OFFICE.

- OH, YEAH. RIGHT.

HOW'S THAT GOING?

- YOU OKAY THERE?

YOU'RE WORRYING ME.

YOU GOTTA STOP TAKING ALL THAT SUPERSTITION CRAP

SO SERIOUSLY.

- YOU'RE LOOKING A LITTLE GREEN.

I'M NOT SO SURE THAT WAS CHICKEN.

- ♪ LOVE ♪

♪ IN THE SUMMER ♪

♪ HOT, DRY AND ♪

♪ ON A ♪

♪ LIZARD HIGHWAY ♪

♪ I HAVE NO NAME ♪

- IS THAT FATE I SEE IN YOUR HANDS?

- ♪ AND I ♪

♪ ALWAYS KNEW ♪

- MAY?

- YOU ON THE ROAD, BABY?

- YEAH. YEAH.

WE--WE'RE MAKING GOOD TIME.

I HAD SOME BAD CHICKEN.

I--IT'S SORT OF A REVELATION.

LIKE WHEN GOD TALKS AT YOU.

- ABOUT THE CHICKEN? - NO, MAY.

NOT ABOUT THE CHICKEN.

I'LL TELL YOU ABOUT THAT LATER, WHEN I GET BACK.

I JUST STOPPED TO PURCHASE A--

- JUST--JUST HAVE A GOOD TIME, ED.

- HEY... - ED...

- WHAT? - ED, ARE YOU THERE?

- HEY, MAY, MAY--

MAY! - WHO?

- DAMN.

HMM.

BOUGHT 12 TICKETS...

IN THIS LOTTERY, EVERY WEEK,

SINCE TIME BEGAN.

AND YOU KNOW SOMETHING?

I HAVEN'T WON A THING.

I'M NOT--I'M NOT-- I'M NOT COMPLAINING.

NOT COMPLAINING.

JUST...

IS THIS IT?

- GOT YOUR NUMBERS?

male announcer: IT'S LOTTO FEVER AGAIN,

AND THE INTERNET'S ABUZZ WITH HOW TO WIN THE LOTTERY

AND SPEND YOUR WINNINGS. - DON'T PEOPLE KNOW THE ODDS ARE

THEY CAN GUESS THE PHONE NUMBER OF THE PERSON SITTING

NEXT TO THEM BEFORE HITTING THAT JACKPOT?

THEY WANT AN ARTICLE ON HOW TO INCREASE

THEIR ODDS OF WINNING, IT WOULD GO GREAT WITH THE ONE

ON HOW TO HOUSEBREAK THEIR UNICORN.

- COME ON, THIS MIGHT BE MANY PEOPLE'S ONLY CHANCE.

I MEAN, ONE CHANCE IS BETTER THAN NONE.

- YEAH, HOPE'S ALIVE AND WELL IN THE MOTOR CITY,

BUT WHEN YOU WAKE UP TOMORROW MORNING

AND MONEY HASN'T FALLEN FROM THE SKY, THEN WHAT?

- WELL, THERE'S ALWAYS NEXT WEEK.

- THINK HE'LL EVEN SHOW UP? - I WOULDN'T.

- I SAY, IF HE DOES, WE PUNCH HIM IN THE THROAT.

CUT OFF HIS AIR SUPPLY.

male announcer: WITH A JACKPOT OF $252 MILLION,

THIS IS SURE TO BE ONE FOR THE RECORD BOOKS.

CHECK YOUR NUMBERS CAREFULLY,

AS YOU MAY ALREADY BE HOLDING THE KEY TO YOUR DREAMS.

BE SURE TO COME BACK AFTER THE BREAK,

IN TIME FOR THIS WEEK'S DRAWING.

- THANK YOU, REG.

- MY PLEASURE, MR. COOLIDGE.

- HEY, REG.

YOU GOT ANY SPECIALS?

- NO.

- OKAY, UM...

SOME PORK CHOPS THEN.

- THOUGHT IT WAS A FINE IDEA TO CANCEL FOOTBALL?

MY SON'S BEEN WAITING THREE SEASONS

FOR A SC-- - LOOK...

WE JUST DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY.

HOW COME YOU'RE SO NICE TO COOLIDGE?

DIDN'T HE EVICT YOU?

- 'CAUSE HE'S THE ONLY ONE STILL BUYS A FINE SIDE OF MEAT.

BANKSTERS STOPPED BUYING THEM IN THE GRAVE.

- BANKSTERS? - FINANCED GANGSTERS.

MY SON COPS A DOUGHNUT FROM THE LIQUOR STORE,

YOU BET YOUR ASS HE'S IN JAIL.

THEY ROB PENSION FUNDS, LIFE SAVINGS,

AND GET A BIGGER BONUS.

THIS YEAR WAS MY SON'S LAST CHANCE.

WHAT'S HAPPENED TO YOU?

YOU'RE NOT THE LAWYER THAT I REMEMBER--

GETTING STONED BEHIND THE QUAD AND PLAYING PRANKS.

HE WOULD HAVE NEVER SOLD OUT HIS FRIENDS.

- IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED, I'M THE PRINCIPAL NOW.

OKAY? AND THERE REALLY IS NOTHING I CAN DO.

I DON'T WANT TO CUT FOOTBALL.

- LIKE YOU SAID, YOU'RE THE MAN.

- NOT REALLY. I MEAN, THEY GIVE ME A BUDGET.

I'VE GOT TO MAKE THAT BUDGET WORK.

AND WITH ALL THESE CUTS, I--

- SOMEONE SAYS "LEAN,"

YOU THINK I CUT OFF THE GOOD MEAT?

YOU'RE TELLING ME YOU GOT NO FAT IN YOUR BUDGET?

- I THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO THE MAN.

announcer: REMEMBER TO CHECK YOUR NUMBERS CLOSELY.

OUR FIRST NUMBER TONIGHT IS 40.

- MM! announcer: THAT'S FOLLOWED BY...

19. - OOH!

announcer: NEXT, WE HAVE 22.

AND FOR OUR NEXT WHITE BALL... - HEY, GUYS...

announcer: THE NUMBER THREE.

- HEY, GUYS!

announcer: AND THE FINAL WHITE BALL FOR TONIGHT...

IS 12.

- OH, MY GOD.

OH, MY GOD, WE WON SOMETHING.

announcer: AND NOW... - GUYS!

announcer: FOR THE GOLD MEGA BALL,

FOR A RECORD JACKPOT... - OH, MY GOD, WE WON.

- WORTH $252 MILLION...

TONIGHT'S MEGA BALL IS...

TWO!

- WHAT WAS THE FIRST NUMBER?

- 40.

AND THE BONUS WAS TWO.

- OH, MY GOD.

OH, MY GOD.

- NAH. - IS THAT OUR TICKET?

- I'M GONNA CHECK YOUR DAMN NUMBERS ON THE WALL.

- WE WON.

announcer: FOR ALL THOSE WHO NEED IT...

- I'M DREAMING.

SOMEHOW, I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE DIFFERENT.

LIKE... announcer: YOUR LOTTERY DOLLARS

GO DIRECTLY TO SUPPORT LOCAL...

- ANGELS OR MUSIC OR SOMETHING.

- HOLY MOTHER OF GOD.

announcer: WE'LL SEE YOU AGAIN NEXT THURSDAY.

- HEY, EVERYBODY.

UM...

LOOK, I KNOW I'M THE LAST PERSON YOU WANT TO SEE RIGHT NOW.

I PROBABLY--PROBABLY SHOULDN'T EVEN BE HERE.

BUT, UM, I JUST-- I JUST WANTED TO COME BY AND...

- APOLOGIZE.

I'M REALLY SORRY.

- TONI, IT'S... IT'S GONNA BE OKAY.

IT'S GONNA BE OKAY.

- LOOK...

WE'RE GONNA-- WE'RE GONNA CUT THE FAT.

WE'RE GONNA FIND THE MONEY.

I'M GONNA DO WHATEVER IT TAKES

TO GET YOU GUYS YOUR JOBS BACK, OKAY?

- YEAH, SEE, THE THING IS IS, UH,

I DON'T THINK WE'RE GONNA WANT OUR JOBS BACK.

- NAH. - OH, PLEASE.

DON'T--DON'T BE LIKE THAT, GUYS, ALL RIGHT?

WE'RE STILL A TEAM. WE'RE STILL...

- WE WON.

- OH, NOBODY WINS IN THESE SITUATIONS.

- WE...WON.

- ALL RIGHT, YOU GUYS ARE FREAKING ME OUT.

WHAT DID YOU WIN?

- WE WON. WE WON!

WE WON!

- THE NUMBERS THAT YOU ALWAYS BET...

YOU FINALLY HIT! I CHECKED IT 50 TIMES!

- WE WON!

- THAT'S GREAT, YOU GUYS.

I'M--WOW.

THAT'S--I'M REALLY, REALLY HAPPY FOR YOU.

- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? - YOU KEPT THE FAITH.

AND THAT'S--

WELL, YOU GUYS, I DIDN'T BUY IN THIS WEEK.

- ED SPOTTED YOU AND JESSIE.

YOU BOTH WON!

- UH, HOW MUCH?

- UH, UH, UH-- - $252 MILLION!

- $252 MILLION!

- OH, MY GOD.

- WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, SO, WAIT.

- NO. NO.

- YES! - I'M A MILLIONAIRE?

- YOU'RE A MILLIONAIRE, AND YOU ARE A MILLIONAIRE,

AND YOU ARE A MILLIONAIRE, AND YOU'RE A MILLIONAIRE.

AND THAT'S A MILLIONAIRE, AND I AM A MILLIONAIRE!

YEAH!

- HEY, WE SHOULD GO LOOK FOR ED.

- LILLY! OPEN UP!

LILLY!

LILLY, OPEN THE DOOR. I GOT--

HA HA. YES.

LILLY!

LILLY! LILLY!

- WHAT THE HELL, JESSIE?

I TOLD YOU IF YOU SHOWED UP HERE AGAIN DRUNK,

I'D HAVE TO CALL THE COPS. - NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!

IT'S DIFFERENT NOW.

I'M RICH!

- OHH, GOD, JESSIE, WHAT DID YOU DO?

- WELL, I WON THE FUCKIN' LOTTERY.

- JESSIE, YOU'VE GOT TO GET OFF THE DRUGS.

- NO...NO.

I CAN BUY ANYTHING NOW.

I CAN BUY YOU ANYTHING NOW!

- ALL RIGHT, JESSIE, YOU DON'T GET IT.

YOU COULD BE THE RICHEST GUY ON EARTH,

AND I STILL WOULDN'T LET YOU IN THAT APARTMENT.

NOW, GO SLEEP IT OFF.

- WHAT?

WHAT?

UHH!

- AW, YEAH.

WHO'S THE KING?

- ♪ THERE'S ME ♪

♪ THERE'S YOU ♪

♪ THERE'S TOO MANY RABID RABBITS ♪

♪ IN THE PETTING ZOO ♪

- ♪ THERE'S ME, THERE'S YOU ♪

♪ THERE'S HIM ♪ - OHH.

- ♪ THERE'S A MONKEY WITH A BRIGHT RED BUTT ♪

♪ IN MY JUNGLE GYM ♪

- JESSIE, OPEN THIS DOOR! - HEY, MAY!

- OPEN THE DOOR, JESSIE.

- ♪ HERE'S ME ♪

- ALL RIGHT. - ♪ I'M LIKE A RODEO BULL ♪

♪ GOT MY HEAD AGAINST THE WALL ♪ - JESSIE!

OPEN THIS DAMN DOOR. - I GOT IT, I GOT.

- OOF!

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?

- I'M RICH.

GET OUT THIS DAMN BUS.

- HE'S JUST RAMBLING ABOUT ALL SORTS OF STORIES

AND THE LOTTERY AND HIS KIDS AND THINGS.

I DIDN'T KNOW WHO TO CALL.

ED'S NOT BACK FOR FOUR DAYS.

- MAY... - HMM?

- THE LOTTERY THING... THAT'S KIND OF TRUE.

- WHAT, HE ACTUALLY WON SOME MONEY?

- ACTUALLY, WE ALL WON SOME MONEY.

I WAS GONNA TRY TO CALL YOU THIS MORNING,

JUST TO SEE IF WE COULD GET AHOLD OF ED.

- UP AT THE CABIN? WHY WOULD WE DO THAT?

- 'CAUSE IT'S KIND OF BIG.

- BIG? HOW BIG?

- BIG. - LLOYD.

- IT'S A COUPLE HUNDRED MILLION.

- WHAT?

YOU WANT SOME COCOA?

- UH...NO. I'M OKAY.

LET'S JUST DEAL WITH THE--

JESS, WHAT'S GOING ON?

JESS!

- JEEZ.

UGH. DAMN IT.

ED'S GONNA KILL ME.

SHERIFF LOCKED ME OUT A COUPLE DAYS AGO.

SO I BEEN LIVING IN THE BUS.

IT WAS GOOD, THOUGH. - CAN WE GET AHOLD OF ED?

- HE DON'T TELL ME WHERE HE GOES.

SUPERSTITIOUS ABOUT THE FISH. BUT...

AT LEAST THIS LITTLE BRAT'S FILTHY RICH NOW.

PAWNED MY TOASTER LAST TIME, AND ED'S...

GLUE GUN.

- THAT WAS A GOOD GLUE GUN.

- THERE'S THREE TVs.

MY DAD USED TO TAKE US CAMPING

IN ONE OF THESE.

HE HAD ONE, YOU KNOW, WHEN I WAS A KID.

AND I WOULD JUST STAY IN THE BACK AND JUST GOOF OFF.

WELL, HE LOST IT WHEN, YOU KNOW, HE GOT LAID OFF.

BUT I THOUGHT, IF I COULD EVER BUY ONE OF THESE,

IT WOULD BE LIKE...

BEING A KID AGAIN.

AND IT'S GOT A POPCORN BUTTON, WHICH IS GREAT, I MEAN--

- THERE YOU GO, BOSS.

- THANK YOU, HAL.

OH, UH, WE'RE GOOD FOR THIS, RIGHT?

HELL, YEAH!

ARE YOU KIDDING?

- HEY.

- SO...TURNS OUT

THERE WERE ONLY TWO WINNING TICKETS.

ONE UP IN THE U.P.,

AND OURS.

- WOW.

- EACH WORTH ABOUT 62...

$62 MILLION, AFTER TAXES.

SO, UH... THAT'S...

$10,200,062 AND SOME CHANGE.

EACH. - YEAH, THAT.

- OKAY. - YEAH, UH-HUH.

- ALL RIGHT, TELL YOU WHAT.

WE GOTTA LAY LOW FOR A FEW DAYS, OKAY?

LET'S NOT HAVE ANY, UH, GOODFELLASMOMENTS.

NOBODY GO OUT AND, YOU KNOW, BUY A NEW CADILLAC OR...

- WELL, IT'S NOT-- IT'S NOT A CADILLAC.

IT'S A DISCOVERY.

- ANYBODY ELSE?

- NAH, MAN. NO, NO, NO. NO, NO.

- OKAY. KEEP IT IN THE GARAGE.

AND...CHEERS.

- CHEERS.

- MERNA, I'VE GOT TO-- I'VE GOT TO WARN YOU.

- GOODNESS, LLOYD.

I VOLUNTEER.

YOU DON'T EVEN PAY ME ANYMORE.

YOU CAN'T FIRE EVERYONE, YOU KNOW.

- I'VE GOT TO WARN YOU TO EXPECT A DELIVERY.

EVERY PULITZER AND NOBEL PRIZE-WINNING NOVEL,

PLUS TEN NEW COMPUTERS.

- EXCUSE ME?

DID SOMEONE CAP THE MAYOR?

- LET'S TAKE ONE STEP AT A TIME.

SHAUN BOUGHT THEM, SO YOU CAN THANK HIM.

UH, AND ABOUT THE OLD LIBRARY--

- OH, IF SOMEBODY TRIES TO TEAR IT DOWN AGAIN,

I'LL HAVE THE WHOLE CONSERVANCY THERE.

ALL 14 OF US WILL CHAIN OURSELVES TO THE DOOR.

- ACTUALLY, IT SHOULD BE REOPENED BY NEXT SUMMER.

AND YOUR OLD JOB WILL BE WAITING FOR YOU.

WOW, YOU REALLY ARE QUITE A CYNIC

FOR SUCH A SWEET LADY.

- ♪ RIDIN' THROUGH THE CITY ON MY BIKE ALL DAY 'CAUSE... ♪

- I GOT TO RESUPPLY IN TOWN TOMORROW.

- NO, NO, I'LL GO. YOUR LUCK'S BEEN GREAT.

- NO, I GOTTA GO.

- YOU STILL FEELING THAT CHICK?

- ♪ FELLA LOOKING DAPPER, AND HE'S SITTING WITH A SLAPPER ♪

♪ THEN I SEE IT'S A PIMP AND HIS CRACK WHORE ♪

♪ YOU MIGHT LAUGH, YOU MIGHT FROWN ♪

♪ WALKIN' ROUND LONDON TOWN ♪

♪ SUN IS IN THE SKY, OH, WHY, OH, WHY ♪

♪ WOULD I WANT TO BE ANYWHERE ELSE? ♪

♪ SUN IS IN THE SKY, OH, WHY, OH, WHY ♪

♪ WOULD I WANT TO BE ANYWHERE ELSE? ♪

♪ WHEN YOU LOOK WITH YOUR EYES ♪

♪ EVERYTHING SEEMS NICE ♪

♪ BUT IF YOU LOOK TWICE ♪

♪ YOU CAN SEE IT'S ALL LIES ♪

♪ THERE WAS A LITTLE, OLD LADY WHO WAS WALKING DOWN THE ROAD ♪

♪ SHE WAS STRUGGLING WITH BAGS FROM TESCO ♪

♪ THERE WERE PEOPLE FROM THE CITY HAVING LUNCH IN THE PARK ♪

♪ I BELIEVE THAT IT'S CALLED AL FRESCO ♪

♪ WHEN A KID CAME ALONG TO OFFER A HAND ♪

♪ BUT BEFORE SHE HAD TIME TO ACCEPT IT ♪

- $6,300 IN SUPPLIES.

BET YOU THE CLERK HADN'T SEEN THAT KIND OF ORDER IN THIS TOWN

IN DECADES.

- I HOPE HE DIDN'T START CRYING.

- NO, BUT MY VISA DID.

I NEVER THOUGHT YOU COULD BOTTOM OUT THREE OF THOSE

IN TWO DAYS.

YOU KNOW, THEY SHOULD BE ILLEGAL.

LIKE CRACK.

SERIOUSLY.

- ♪ WOULD I WANNA BE ANYWHERE ELSE? ♪

♪ SUN IS IN THE SKY, OH, WHY, OH, WHY ♪

♪ WOULD I WANNA BE ANYWHERE ELSE? ♪

- LLOYD HOWARD, LINE ONE.

- CUTE STUNT. YOU REMEMBER CHANNELS?

- I WANTED TO GET SOMETHING DONE.

WHY WOULD I GO THROUGH CHANNELS?

- I WONDER HOW THE PRESS GOT THERE.

- I CALLED THEM. - YOU CALLED THEM?

- WHAT'S IN THE BUDGET TO RESTORE THAT PLAYGROUND?

- IN THE BUDGET? 15 GRAND.

- ALL RIGHT, I WANT THAT SENT TO THE SCHOOL.

- YOU WANT IT SENT TO THE SCHOOL?

- DO WE HAVE A BAD CONNECTION?

- EXCUSE ME?

- A BAD CONNECTION.

YOU KEEP REPEATING EVERYTHING I SAY.

- I ASSURE YOU, THE CONNECTION'S FINE.

- WELL, THAT'S A RELIEF.

UM, WE'RE GONNA DO SOME CLEANUP

AT THE OLD LIBRARY TOMORROW.

THE MONEY BUDGETED FOR THAT, WE'RE GONNA WANT THAT TOO.

GUESS IT WASN'T SUCH A GOOD CONNECTION AFTER ALL.

THIS IS ALL PLUGGED IN.

TAKE THAT AND WHACK THE CRAP OUT OF ANYTHING YOU SEE, OKAY?

- SAME REPORTERS, ONE BLOODY NEWS CYCLE.

THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE WORTH.

OH, BRINGING THE CHILD'S A NICE TOUCH.

- I'M NOT A CHILD. - NO, OF COURSE NOT.

YOU'RE A PROP.

- HEY, LEAVE THE KID OUT OF THIS.

$150,000 GRANT TO HELP RESTORE THIS PLACE.

THAT RING A BELL?

- YEAH. WHAT ABOUT IT?

- I WANT IT.

- IS THIS A SHAKEDOWN,

OR ARE YOU RUNNING FOR OFFICE OR SOMETHING?

ZERO CHANCE. I GOT THAT MONEY EARMARKED

TO DEMO THIS PLACE.

- ALL RIGHT, HAVE IT YOUR WAY. OVER HERE, GUYS.

- OVER HERE. THE MAYOR'S GOING TO SPEAK.

- WATCH YOUR STEP.

- WE GOT SOME GREAT NEWS.

UH, MAYOR PAINE HERE

HAS JUST OFFERED A $150,000 GRANT

TO HELP RESTORE THIS PLACE.

- WHY THE CHANGE OF HEART, MAYOR?

- MAYOR, WHY THE SUDDEN FLIP-FLOP?

- I'M NOT PREPARED TO COMMENT ON DETAILS JUST YET.

- WE'RE ALSO GOING TO CREATE A COMMUNITY GARDEN

HERE ON THE GROUNDS.

IT'S GONNA PRODUCE SOME ORGANIC FOODS

FOR LOCAL CONSUMPTION,

UNLESS WE FIND SOME TOXIC WASTE

WHICH-- THEN WE'RE NOT GONNA DO THAT.

BUT VERY GENEROUS GRANT, SO THANK YOU, MAYOR PAINE.

- ONE DAY, YOU SAY YOU'RE TEARING IT DOWN,

AND NOW YOU'RE REBUILDING IT. CAN YOU EXPLAIN THAT FURTHER?

- I'LL TALK TO YOU GUYS LATER.

- SURE, NO PROBLEM. - THANK YOU.

APPRECIATE IT. - THANK YOU.

- YOU, MY FRIEND, JUST HIT THE THIRD RAIL.

- EAT ME.

- EILEEN, WHY DON'T YOU GO OUT THERE

AND PICK UP SOME TRASH AND MAKE A BIG SHOW OF IT

WHEN YOU GET SOMETHING?

WE CAN GET A GOOD SHOT OF YOU.

MAKE IT LOOK LIKE YOU GIVE A SHIT.

- AND I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU

ABOUT THE FUTURE.

ABOUT AN IDEA I HAVE. - OKAY.

- MAYBE GOING TO CHICAGO

AND AUDITIONING FOR A SHOW.

- WELL, WHAT'S STOPPING YOU?

- I WAS HOPING FOR A LITTLE INSPIRATION.

- YOU SHOULD GO.

- AM I INTERRUPTING SOMETHING?

I...

YOU KNOW, WHEN--

WHEN I WAS 14,

I SAW THAT MOVIE 10, ALL RIGHT?

THE ONE WITH BO DEREK.

AND I GUESS, EVER SINCE THEN,

I'VE JUST BEEN KIND OF SEARCHING FOR SOMETHING.

- AN IDEAL WOMAN OR PORN?

- I FEEL LIKE WE HAVE RADICALLY DIFFERENT VIEWS

ABOUT OUR FRIENDSHIP.

I'M NOT YOUR BUDDY.

AND NOW YOU HAVE SOME FANTASY ABOUT SOME PERFECT WOMAN

WHO'S GONNA GIVE YOU SOME PERFECT LIFE.

IS THAT WHAT WOMEN ARE TO YOU? - NO!

NO, THAT'S NOT EVEN WHAT I MEANT.

YOU KNOW, I-- OKAY, YOU--FIRST OF ALL,

YOU DIDN'T EVEN LET ME FINISH.

- WE JUST WON THE LOTTERY,

AND ALL YOU CAN DO IS OBSESS OVER ANOTHER HOT GIRL!

- GOD, TONI, I WAS JUST TRYING TO TELL YOU HOW I FELT.

- OH, WELL, HERE'S HOW I FEEL.

YOU'RE A GIBBON. - A WHAT?

- A TWO-LEGGED JACKASS!

- YOU GOT IT. - HEY, FAMILY.

- WHAT UP?

- JESS. - YEAH?

WHAT'S THIS? - IT'S A HYBRID.

- WHAT, ARE YOU SERIOUS?

- WELL, JUST UNTIL YOU GET BACK ON YOUR FEET AGAIN.

MR. HOWARD, YOU'RE THE MAN!

- WELL--WELL, DAD.

YOU SHOULD HAVE BOUGHT HIM A CADILLAC.

YOU CAN AFFORD IT.

- AN OBVIOUS FAILURE OF OUR PUBLIC SCHOOL SYSTEM.

WE DON'T BUY THINGS JUST BECAUSE WE CAN AFFORD THEM, RIGHT?

JESS NEEDED TRANSPORTATION, SO THAT'S WHAT HE GOT.

GO. - OKAY.

- HUH.

I AM JUST SO HAPPY THAT JESSIE GOT A NEW CAR.

THERE'S NO REASON THAT WE SHOULD GET

A NEW CAR, LIKE A TRICKED OUT SUV

WITH VIDEO HEADSETS, RETRACTABLE MOON ROOF,

MULTI-POSITION HEATED SEATS, OR 12-SPEAKER STEREO SYSTEM.

- LIKE THAT ONE? - YOU DID NOT.

- I DID.

OH, MY...

WHAT HAPPENED TO EVERYTHING YOU SAID BACK THERE?

- YEAH, WELL, LET'S JUST KEEP IT IN THE GARAGE.

- MM! MWAH! MWAH!

ALL RIGHT, MR. VALUES.

- HEY, I STILL GOT VALUES.

I JUST THINK WE'VE SACRIFICED ENOUGH, DON'T YOU?

LET'S LIVE A LITTLE.

IT'S GOT MULTI-POSITION HEATED SEATS.

- ♪ NOBODY BUT YOU AND ME ♪

♪ OH, BABY... ♪

- GUESS WHAT.

WE DON'T ALLOW GUM AT THIS SCHOOL.

- I MAKE THE RULES, REMEMBER?

SO I'M NOT GONNA BEAT AROUND THE BUSH.

RUMOR HAS IT YOU HAVE AN ACE UP YOUR SLEEVE.

A REAL GAME CHANGER.

- WHAT RUMOR?

- WHAT YOU NO LONGER CARE ABOUT CASH

OR BILLS.

OR PERHAPS EVEN ME.

- WELL...

I CAN NEITHER CONFIRM NOR DENY SUCH A RUMOR.

THAT BEING SAID, LOSE THE FUCKING GUM.

- DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW BIG THIS IS?

EVEN SOMEONE WITH YOUR LIMITED AMBITION

MUST SURELY COMPREHEND IT.

WITH YOUR LUCK AND MY CONNECTIONS,

THINK GOVERNOR.

NO, NO, NATIONAL OFFICE.

SEE, I WORKED MY ASS OFF TO GET HERE,

BUT IF DON'T HAVE THE MILLIONS TO THROW AROUND

TO MAKE PEOPLE LOVE ME.

- SO YOU WANT MINE. - IT'S JUST POLITICS.

WHY DON'T YOU COME BY THE LODGE TONIGHT?

- WHY WOULD I DO THAT?

- NO OPPOSITION TO GRANTS, TO START.

IS THERE AN IMAGINATION IN THERE?

HUH?

A PLAYGROUND AND...

THAT RATTRAP OF A LIBRARY.

OH, WAIT.

LET'S SEE IF I CAN DO THIS.

OH. "A" FOR EFFORT.

SEE YA LATER.

WHOO. A-PLUS.

YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME.

- MR. HOWARD... - MR. HOWARD!

- HOW DOES IT FEEL TO WIN THE LOTTERY?

- HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN PLAYING THE LOTTERY?

- CAN YOU GIVE US A STATEMENT

ON HOW YOU PLAN TO USE THE MONEY?

- I'M NOT PREPARED TO COMMENT AT THIS TIME.

I'M SORRY.

- PRINCIPAL HOWARD, WHEN WILL YOU CLAIM YOUR WINNINGS?

- IT'S COMPLEX. AS YOU MIGHT IMAGINE,

THERE'S A LOT OF PLANNING AHEAD.

- MR. HOWARD! MR. HOWARD!

- WILL YOU BE DONATING THE MONEY TO ONE OF YOUR--

- ALL RIGHT, WHAT WE'D LIKE TO DO

IS PUT THE MONEY TO SOME GOOD USE.

REOPEN SOME LIBRARIES, UH, CLEAN UP SOME PARKS.

- WE WANT TO HEAR ABOUT HOW YOU PLAN ON SPENDING--

- IT'S A FUN GAME, HUH? IT'S FUN.

- HEY, WHO TOLD YOU YOU COULD LEAK OUR WIN?

- WE NEED NATIONAL EXPOSURE.

YOU'RE NOT GONNA GET ANYWHERE

PIMPING OF PRINCIPAL-TO-PRINCIPAL,

BUT RAGS-TO-RICHES GETS THEM EVERY TIME.

I GOT ONE CHANCE TO PUT THIS PLACE ON THE MAP,

AND NOTHING'S GONNA GET IN MY WAY.

WE GOTTA GET OUR SHARE OF THE BAILOUT BILLIONS,

NAVIGATE THROUGH ALL THE RED TAPE

AND YOUR IDIOTIC ALTRUISM, AND LUCK'S OUR IN.

- HEY. THE SHINY PEOPLE.

- HEY.

- WELL, AS AN IMPORTANT MEMBER OF OUR COMMUNITY NOW,

I THOUGHT IT WAS TIME I BROUGHT YOU

INTO THE INNER CIRCLE.

I BELIEVE YOU KNOW ALMOST EVERYONE.

- WHY IS IT I FEEL LIKE AN OPEN VEIN

AT A VAMPIRE CONVENTION?

SO... - PLEASANTRIES ASIDE.

I REALLY WANTED YOU TO MEET

ONE OF OUR MOST SUCCESSFUL ALUMS.

- WELL, I NEVER REALLY GRADUATED.

- OH.

- IS THAT ALI?

- YOUR FAVORITE HISTORY STUDENT.

- UM...WELCOME BACK.

YOU GOT EXPELLED, DIDN'T YOU?

- WELL, AFTER YOUR HISTORY CLASS

ENDED MY TROUBLED RELATIONSHIP WITH AUTHORITY, I STARTED--

- ALL RIGHT, YOU HACKED IN AND CHANGED YOUR GRADE

IN THE SCHOOL'S COMPUTER.

- WELL, I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS FAIR.

- ALI WANTS TO BUILD A FACTORY HERE.

- I STARTED MY OWN COMPANY, MAKING TURBINES

FOR ALTERNATIVE ENERGY SYSTEMS.

AFTER OUR LITTLE MISUNDERSTANDING.

AND THE TOWERS WENT DOWN,

MY DAD WAS LAID OFF, MOVED TO CALIFORNIA.

LIKE A MODERN-DAY TOM JOAD FROM THE GRAPES OF WRATH.

YOU CALLED IT.

HIGHLAND PARK'S THE CAPITAL OF THE RUST BOWL.

THE SIMPLE FACT IS,

WE GAVE UP ON PEOPLE'S JOBS.

THEY WANT TO PUT THEIR HANDS TO WORK

AND BUILD THINGS THEY'D BE PROUD OF.

SEE, I WAS PAYING ATTENTION IN YOUR CLASS.

I WANT TO TAKE OVER THE OLD AMERICAN BEARING PLANT

WHERE OUR DADS WORKED.

WITH MY PEOPLE, THE HOPE'S IN YOUR OWN HANDS.

- WHAT AN OPPORTUNITY--WHAT ARE THE BIG PLANS FOR YOUR FUTURE?

- UH, YEAH, WELL,

I'D LIKE TO CREATE AN URBAN FARM CO-OP IN HIGHLAND PARK.

- WHAT ABOUT A FERRARI OR A YACHT OR YOUR OWN ISLAND?

- MR. HOWARD'S BEING VERY MODEST.

WE HAD A FANTASTIC MEETING.

HE'S DECIDED TO EXPAND HIS LOCAL CLEANUP PROJECT,

AND TO JUMP-START IT, HE'S MADE THE MIRACULOUS OFFER

TO DONATE $1 MILLION OF HIS WINNINGS.

- THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY. - SO HE'S GONNA WRITE A CHECK?

- UH...THAT'S WRONG.

- THE MAYOR'S GOT THAT A LITTLE BIT WRONG.

UM, I'VE ACTUALLY DECIDED TO...

GIVE...

$5 MILLION...

- PRINCIPLE HOWARD...

- TO GRASSROOTS PROGRAMS.

WE'RE GONNA CLEAN UP SOME PARKS,

UH, RESTORE THE OLD LIBRARY,

SOME AFTER-SCHOOL ACTIVITIES, UH, RESTORE SOME PRI--

WE'RE GONNA RESTORE SOME PRIDE AROUND HERE.

- THIS IS GREAT FOR THE KIDS. WHAT ABOUT--

- AND I AM HONORED THAT THE MAYOR

HAS DECIDED TO MATCH THESE FUNDS

IN ORDER TO HIRE BACK SOME TEACHERS

AND REBUILD THE LIBRARY.

- WHY THE CHANGE OF HEART?

- THANK YOU, MAYOR.

- MAYOR, WHERE'S THE MONEY COMING FROM?

- ALL RIGHT, GREAT. THANK YOU. EXCUSE ME.

- HAS YOUR BROTHER NOW BID ON THE LIBRARY RESTORATION?

- YES, IT'S A VERY INSPIRED MEETING WE HAD IN THERE.

NOW, THEY SAY THAT MONEY CAN'T BUY EVERYTHING.

BUT IT CAN. THAT'S ALWAYS CONFUSED ME.

BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT MONEY DOES, IT BUYS THINGS.

YOU KNOW?

- SO...

NO GOODFELLASMOMENTS, HUH? - WHAT WAS I GONNA DO?

I'M NOT GONNA LET HER PUSH ME AROUND ANYMORE.

- AND ARE YOU REALLY GONNA GIVE ALL YOUR MONEY AWAY

JUST BECAUSE SHIRLEY BEAT OUT YOUR WIFE FOR HOMECOMING QUEEN?

- THAT IS NOT WHAT I DID, I...

LOOK, THIS IS A GOOD THING. IT'S WORTHWHILE.

- I THINK WE SHOULD AT LEAST HAVE THE MONEY IN HAND

BEFORE WE SPEND ANY MORE OF IT.

- YOU KNOW, WOULD YOU LEAVE HIM ALONE?

YOU GOTTA SPEND YOUR MONEY ON WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY.

ALL RIGHT, BRAH.

LIKE WHEN I BOUGHT THAT RING FOR CHAR.

- WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. WHAT?

- WHO'S CHAR? - I THOUGHT YOU WERE WITH TONI!

- OH, NO, NO, NO, MAN.

THAT WOULD HAVE NEVER WORKED OUT.

- 'CAUSE SHE'S SMARTER THAN YOU?

- FRANKLY...YES.

- BUT I WANT TO PROVIDE FOR SOMEBODY.

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

YOU KNOW, HAVE THEM ADORE ME. - YEAH.

- LOVE ME. - YEAH?

- YEAH. - SOUNDS LIKE YOU WANT A PET.

- YOU KNOW, CHAR NEEDS ME. OKAY?

I CAN GET HER THINGS, THINGS THAT SHE CAN'T GET HERSELF.

YOU KNOW, TONI, ON THE OTHER HAND, YOU KNOW,

SHE CAN GET EVERYTHING THAT I CAN GET FOR HER.

SO I DON'T THINK--YOU KNOW, WHY WOULD SHE NEED ME?

OKAY? I JUST DON'T SEE IT. - I DON'T KNOW, COMPANIONSHIP?

- OOH, THAT'S A GOOD ONE. HEY, HOW ABOUT LOVE, HUH?

- IF HE CAN SPEND HALF OF HIS MONEY ON AN ANCIENT GRUDGE,

THEN I CAN SPEND SOME OF MY MONEY

ON A YOUNG, BEAUTIFUL, SEXY--

- CONGRATULATIONS. - HEY!

- NO, NO. NO, THANK YOU.

THANK YOU, YEAH. HE'S ALREADY TAKEN TWICE.

- OKAY. - THANKS VERY MUCH.

THANKS VERY MUCH. MOVE ALONG.

SO, UH, WHAT DID SYLVIA SAY WHEN YOU TOLD HER

YOU WERE GONNA GIVE AWAY YOUR MONEY?

- PRETTY SURE IT WON'T BE GOOD.

- YOU DIDN'T TELL HER?

- MAN, COME ON!

LOOK, YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO PEOPLE WHO WIN THE LOTTERY.

THEY EITHER END UP BROKE OR IN PRISON.

- WE'RE INVITING EVERYBODY TO HELP STOP

THIS CITY'S SLIDE INTO OBLIVION.

AND WE'RE STARTING HERE AT THE CITY'S HEART.

UH...THE OLD LIBRARY.

AND YOU AT HOME, YOU CAN START

IN YOUR OWN FRONT YARDS.

UH, PAINT OUT SOME GRAFFITI. MOW DOWN SOME WEEDS.

- WELL, HIGHLAND PARK TURNED OUT IN FORCE TODAY.

NOT TO VOLUNTEER, UNFORTUNATELY,

BUT TO CELEBRATE IN A BIG WAY.

- THERE'S ZERO CHANCE THAT ANYONE

IS GONNA RAISE A FINGER TO SAVE THIS PLACE.

WHY DIDN'T YOU TALK TO ME

BEFORE YOU MADE THAT KIND OF A DECISION?

- I'M SORRY, I-- I'M SORRY.

IT...

I...

LOOK, THIS IS A CHANCE FOR ME TO DO SOMETHING

THAT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO.

BESIDES, WE'RE--WE GOT PLENTY OF MONEY LEFT OVER.

I MEAN, WE GET, UH, YOU KNOW,

ENOUGH TO SEND THE KIDS TO A GOOD SCHOOL.

WE'RE GONNA BUY A BIG, NEW HOUSE.

- HMM!

- WE'RE GONNA GET SOME APPLIANCES.

TELL YOU WHAT.

TOMORROW...

I'M GONNA BUY A MATTRESS.

A BIG ONE.

WITH SHEETS.

AND PILLOWS.

- OHH.

- YEAH. HMM?

- YOU'RE JUST TALKIN' DIRTY NOW.

- MM.

REFRIGERATOR.

- REFRIGERATOR. - MM-HMM.

DISHWASHER.

- DISHWASHER. - OHH!

- UM...

ELECTRIC CAN OPENER.

- ARGH!

- ♪ WHAT GHOST IS RATTLING YOUR FRONT PORCH ♪

♪ CAN'T TELL WHAT'S GOLDEN ♪

- THIS IS FOR $1 MILLION.

- YEAH.

YEAH, I THOUGHT YOU SHOULD HAVE IT.

UH, WAIT A COUPLE DAYS, THOUGH,

BEFORE YOU CASH IT.

- UM...NO, I-- I JUST WANT THE REGULAR CHECK.

OKAY, YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO THE KIDS.

- JESUS, LILLY, THAT'LL BUY YOU ANYTHING THEY WANT.

I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY.

- THAT IS SO SWEET, JESS.

BUT, PLEASE, JUST PAY WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO, AND...

STAY SOBER.

OKAY? THAT'S WHAT'LL MAKE ME REALLY HAPPY.

- WELL, CAN I TAKE THE KIDS BOWLING?

AH, SOME OF THE GUYS ARE GOING OUT TO CELEBRATE.

- DO YOU HAVE THE REGULAR CHECK?

- ♪ I KNOW YOU'LL OFFER UP THE FULL COURSE ♪

- OKAY, UM...JESSICA.

JORDAN, HE'S GONNA TAKE YOU BOWLING, OKAY?

- COOL!

- ♪ WHAT GHOST IS RATTLING YOUR FRONT PORCH ♪

- THANKS.

- MM-HMM.

- ♪ ON HIS HEAD ♪

♪ I KNOW YOU'LL OFFER UP THE FULL COURSE ♪

♪ THEY'LL WAIT FOR HOURS UNTIL THEY'RE FED ♪

- NO CANDY THIS TIME. I PROMISE.

- OKAY.

THANKS.

- ♪ OH, UNTIL THEY'RE FED ♪

- YOU OKAY?

- I GOTTA GO.

- DID YOU GET YOUR DIARRHEA PILLS?

- WHOOOOO!

- WHEW.

GLAD I WENT FOR THE PORK.

- SO, UH, CAN YOU AFFORD THIS PLACE?

'CAUSE I KNOW HIS PENSION AND THE UAW HEALTH PLAN

KIND OF BANKRUPT, SO... - OH, I CAN AFFORD IT, THANKS.

- WELL, JUST BEEN A LOT OF LOOKY-LOOS LATELY.

SINCE THE ECONOMY HIT THE SKIDS,

FOLKS LOOKING TO UNLOAD THEIR PROBLEMS.

- WELL, MY DAD'S NOT A PROBLEM.

- ALL RIGHT, SURE.

OH, LORD HAVE MERCY. DON'T--AH--MM-MM-MM-MM-MM!

- EXCUSE ME, DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM?

- JUST KEEP HIM AWAY FROM THE PLANTS.

- WELL, HE'S NOT GONNA HURT 'EM.

- HE'S TRYING TO WATER IT.

- MAYBE IT NEEDS WATERING.

- IT'S PLASTIC.

- DAD.

- HMM? - COME ON.

LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING.

IS THERE SOMETHING WE CAN DO ABOUT THE SMELL?

- THESE FOLKS DON'T MIND.

- WELL, WHAT ABOUT THEIR VISITORS?

- VISITORS?

THEY LUCKY IF THEY GOT BEDBUGS TO KEEP 'EM COMPANY.

- DAD.

LET'S JUST GO HOME.

LOVELY PLACE. - MM-HMM, THANK YOU.

- SO HOW WAS THE FLIGHT?

- HAD SCREAMING BRATS ON THE FIRST LEG.

WHAT'S WITH THE MILLIONAIRE SENDING ECONOMY TICKETS?

- IS THAT A TV OR A MOVIE SCREEN?

- MERV, DAD CAN'T SEE THE SCREEN.

- OH. OH, OH.

- SO WHEN ARE YOU GONNA BUY A REAL HOME

AND SOME NICE FURNITURE?

- I DON'T KNOW. HAPPENED SO FAST, UH...

NOT MUCH ROOM ON THE CREDIT CARD

UNTIL I GET THE CHECK.

- YOU DON'T HAVE THE MONEY YET?

DO YOU--DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GONNA GET IT SOON?

- DON'T KNOW. I GUESS SO.

I GUESS I SHOULD CHECK.

- DUH!

- MERV, SCREEN! - OOH.

- I DIDN'T WANT TO PRESS, BUT WE'RE KIND OF IN NEED.

- WHAT KIND OF NEED?

- 120 DAYS LATE KIND OF NEED.

- CLAIRE, YOU-- - DON'T CLAIRE ME.

IT'S THE DAMN REAL ESTATE AGENTS.

- HOW MUCH DO YOU NEED?

- 150,000. - HOLY SHIT!

- THAT'S POCKET CHANGE TO YOU.

- OKAY, I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO.

YOU HAVEN'T EVEN ASKED ABOUT DAD YET.

- GUESS I WAS STRESSED ABOUT THE HOUSE.

- HE KEEPS FORGETTING THINGS. I MEAN, EVEN THIS LOTTERY THING.

I TELL HIM ABOUT IT, HE GETS ALL EXCITED,

AND THE NEXT DAY, HE DOESN'T REMEMBER IT AT ALL.

GUESS THE UPSIDE IS DAD GETS TO WIN THE LOTTERY EVERY DAY.

- DID I GROW A TARGET ON MY FOREHEAD OVERNIGHT?

FIVE LAWSUITS. NEVER BEEN SUED IN MY LIFE.

THIS JANITOR, HE MOVES TO OHIO,

AND HE'S SUING ME FOR KEEPING HIM OUT OF THE POOL.

- DIDN'T YOU FIRE HIM? - YEAH, I FIRED EVERYBODY.

WHAT, ARE THEY ALL GONNA SUE ME NOW?

HOW COME NONE OF YOU GUYS ARE GETTING SUED?

- 'CAUSE YOU'RE THE ONE ON TV.

- WE DIDN'T FIRE ANYBODY.

- THAT'S THE PROBLEM WITH THIS COUNTRY.

EVERYBODY JUST WANTS TO BLAME EVERYBODY ELSE.

- ISN'T IT GETTING KIND OF LATE?

- ED PROBABLY GOT TIRED AND PULLED OFF

TO STAY THE NIGHT SOMEWHERE.

- WELL, WOULDN'T HE HAVE CALLED?

- 30 YEARS, HE'S ONLY CALLED ME TWICE

'CAUSE HE'S BEEN LATE.

ONCE TO BAIL HIM OUT.

YOU'RE DONE.

- WOW.

THAT KIND OF FELT LIKE LAST CALL.

ED, I DON'T GET WHAT'S HAPPENING WITH YOU.

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?

- IT'S BEEN CIRCLING OUT THERE FOR A WHILE NOW.

- WHAT HAS?

- I'M NOT SURE.

- LOOK...

WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE HOME BY NOW.

- YOU REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE A KID, BERT?

REMEMBER THE BEGINNING OF SUMMER?

THE SEA OF TIME BEFORE YOU,

FILLED WITH ENDLESS POSSIBILITIES,

AND THE SUMMER CAME TO AN END, AND YOU...

YOU STARTED FEELING LET DOWN, LIKE...

LIKE ALL THOSE POSSIBILITIES WEREN'T QUITE FULFILLED.

THAT HAPPENED UNTIL YOU REALIZED ONE DAY...

THAT WAS YOUR LIFE SPREAD OUT IN FRONT OF YOU.

THE DAY THAT I RETIRED...

WAS FIRED...

IT FELT LIKE LIFE...

IT FELT LIKE LIFE WAS RUNNING OUT OF SUMMERS.

AND... LOTTERY TICKETS

ARE A LOT LIKE SUMMERS.

THOSE BLANK TICKETS

HOLD ALL THAT POSSIBILITY.

UNTIL YOU FILL THEM UP WITH YOUR NUMBERS.

THEN YOU HAVE JUST ONE CHANCE.

AND THEN IT'S GONE.

- ED...

WHAT EXACTLY'S HAPPENED?

- YOU KNOW WHAT?

- WHAT? - RUN.

- WHAT IF HE'S DEAD?

OH, DON'T TELL ME IT HASN'T CROSSED YOUR MIND.

- HE'S NOT DEAD.

- HE HASN'T BEEN SEEN OR HEARD FROM IN DAYS.

MAYBE BERT MURDERED HIM, OR...

HE FLED TO CANADA WITH THE TICKET,

OR HE LOST IT.

- RORY, YOU'RE GETTING PARANOID.

- YEAH, WELL, A FELLA IN COLLINS STOLE A MILLION BUCKS

FROM SOME GUYS IN A POOL IN '93.

- AND HOW DO YOU HAVE THAT ON THE TIP OF YOUR TONGUE?

- GOBBERS TOLD ME.

- ALL RIGHT. WANNA KNOW MY THEORY?

ED'S GOT A SECOND WIFE.

AND SHE FOUND OUT, AND SHE KILLED HIM FOR OUR TICKET.

- OH, GREAT. - PLANS TO RUN OFF TO ARGENTINA.

- I KNOW WHAT Y'ALL TALKING ABOUT

'CAUSE I'M A LITTLE WORRIED ABOUT HIM TOO.

HIS HEALTH HASN'T BEEN THAT GREAT.

BUT HE'S FINE, OKAY? SO STOP YOUR WORRYING.

- MAY, DO YOU WANT ME TO STAY HERE AND KEEP YOU COMPANY?

- NO, I'LL BE FINE.

I'LL CALL YOU ALL AS SOON AS HE GETS BACK.

TOMORROW IS GONNA BE A BIG DAY.

GO HOME AND GET SOME REST.

- OKAY. - OKAY?

- THANK YOU, MAY. - PARANOIA ASIDE,

IF HE'S NOT HERE BY NOON, I'M UP THERE TO FIND HIM.

- BETTER BELIEVE IT.

- ED?

OHH! BABY, THANK GOD.

OH, WHAT HAPPENED?

WE WERE SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU.

- I'M--I'M FINE. I JU--I JUST,

UH, TOOK SOME TIME TO DO A LITTLE SOUL SEARCHING.

- SO YOU KNOW!

- HEY, MAY, MAY, MAY... - WHAT?

- UM, WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER OVER 36 YEARS.

- UH-HUH. - AND IN THAT TIME,

I'VE DONE SOME STUPID THINGS.

- THEY'RE ALL FORGIVEN, BABY.

NONE OF THAT MATTERS ANYMORE.

- MAY, I-I NEED...

I NEED FOR YOU TO LISTEN BECAUSE I--

I PRACTICED WHAT I HAD TO SAY 100 TIMES IN MY HEAD,

AND I DON'T WANT TO MESS IT UP.

- OKAY. - YOU MIGHT MURDER ME.

- OH! OKAY, I'M ALL EARS.

- YOU KNOW I'M JUST LIKE ANYONE.

YOU KNOW, YOU'RE GONNA SEE SIGNS

AND FIND MEANING IN LITTLE THINGS,

LIKE, UH, MY LUCKY NUMBER

IN A LICENSE PLATE... - MM-HMM.

- YOU KNOW, AND SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

- SEE, AFTER ALL THESE YEARS, BABY,

NOBODY THINKS YOU'RE CRAZY ANYMORE.

COME ON, TELL ME ABOUT YOUR VISION!

- TH-THE--IT JUST...

IT ENDED UP JUST BEING FOOD POISONING.

- THAT'S NONSENSE, ED. WE WON!

WE WON, BABY!

THE ONLY THING WE HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT IS...

WHERE WE GONNA SPEND OUR RETIREMENT,

AND WHAT HOTEL WE GONNA STAY IN...

IN PARIS!

- THERE'S NOT GOING TO BE A HOTEL, MAY.

NO RETIREMENT. NO PARIS.

- OF COURSE THERE IS, BABY. OF COURSE.

- NO, NO, I DIDN'T BUY THE TICKETS, MAY.

I BOUGHT SOME OTHER SILLY TICKET

WITH THE NUMBERS FROM THIS DAMN FORTUNE COOKIE.

UH...MAY...

YOU ALL RIGHT?

PEOPLE JUST WANT TO BELIEVE THERE'S GOTTA BE

SOMETHING MORE.

IF NOT, THEN WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?

ALL THOSE VISIONS, ASTROLOGERS, SUPERSTITIONS--NO.

"WHAT IF THAT BEGGAR WAS GOD" KIND OF STUFF.

AH, MAKES YOU CRAZY SOMETIMES.

- ED, I KNOW YOU'RE TRYING TO...

PUT SOME STRUCTURE ON THIS, BUT...

THAT BEGGAR, YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES IS JUST A BEGGAR.

A CIGAR SOMETIMES JUST A CIGAR, ED.

WHAT WE GONNA DO?

THIS IS ALL ON US.

- WE'RE NO WORSE OFF THAN BEFORE.

I MEAN, THINGS WEREN'T THAT BAD, WERE THEY?

NOW, DISAPPOINTING, YEAH.

BUT IT'S NOT LIKE WE TOLD 'EM WE'RE DYING.

YOU KNOW, ALL WE DO IS TELL THEM THAT...

THEY ARE WHO THEY WERE... BEFORE THEY WON.

- WELL, IT SOUNDS A LITTLE BETTER

WHEN YOU SAY IT LIKE THAT, BUT...

IT'S NOT TRUE, ED. THIS IS BIG, MAN.

THIS IS--YOU HAVE...

NO IDEA HOW BIG THIS IS.

IT'S INSPIRED PEOPLE.

REVOLTED OTHERS.

YEAH, LOOK.

WELL, SAY SOMETHING, ED.

COME ON, NOW, YOU'RE THE ONE WHO SAID

THAT WE STILL HAVE OUR HEALTH.

COME ON, SAY SOMETHING.

- FUCK.

- HEY!

- ED, ED, ED, ED.

- WHAT'S GOING ON, OLD MAN? HUH?

THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT!

- 40-YEAR-OLD WHISKEY.

I BEEN SAVING IT SINCE...FOREVER.

- AH.

- WE GONNA--WHAT?

- YOU OWE ME $4,740.

- JEEZ, JUST FOR THIS ONE BOTTLE?

- FOR THE TAB.

SINCE YOU GUYS GOT LUCKY.

- WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, MAN?

- WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?

- WHAT'S WRONG WITH JESSIE?

- LET'S EACH, UH, HAVE A GLASS OF WHISKEY.

- WELL, WHAT'S GOING ON?

- I'D DRINK THE WHISKEY FIRST, IF I WERE YOU.

- HE DIDN'T BUY THE TICKET.

- WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. SAY WHAT?

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN, HE DIDN'T BUY THE TICKET?

- THE MOTHERFUCKER BOUGHT A DIFFERENT TICKET!

- ED, IS THAT TRUE?

- YEAH. - NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

I-I-I-- I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

- I GOT $37,000 HERE IN CASH.

I--I CLOSED MY SAVINGS.

I'D SELL MY HOUSE, IF I CAN, MY CAR.

I--YOU CAN DIVIDE IT UP AMONGST YOURS--

- YOU'RE NOT SERIOUS, MAN.

YOU'RE NOT SERIOUS, YOU BLUE-BALLED,

PIG-BRAINED, MOTHERFUCKIN' COCKSUCKER!

YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS! YOU ARE NOT SERIOUS RIGHT NOW!

- YOU OWE ME $10 MILLION. I AM GONNA FUCKIN' KILL YOU!

- JESSIE, COME ON.

TAKE IT EASY. WHAT'S THAT GONNA DO?

- WELL, IT'S GONNA MAKE HIM DEAD.

- WHAT CAN I DO, HUH?

- I WANT YOU TO GIVE ME THE MONEY.

- JESS, WHAT THE HELL IS THAT, MAN?

- GLUE GUN.

- A PINK ONE? - YEAH, IT WAS ON CLEARANCE.

- HE GOT IT TO REPLACE THE ONE HE PAWNED.

- YEAH, AND NOW, I'M GONNA KILL YOU WITH IT.

- YOU GONNA GLUE HIM TO DEATH?

COME ON, WE CAN'T TAKE HIS MONEY.

- BULLSHIT! - YOU WANNA TAKE HIS MONEY,

JESSIE, GO AHEAD, TAKE HIS MONEY.

- SEE? - GUYS, IT'S HIS MONEY.

IT'S NOT LIKE HE STOLE IT. - HERE. HERE, TAKE IT.

I'LL GET MORE AND GIVE IT TO YOU.

- FUCK!

- YEAH, I, UH...

REALLY NEEDED THAT MONEY, ED.

I DESERVED IT.

- UM...

ED...

I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS.

UM... Y--

WE'VE BEEN BUYING THE SAME TICKETS FOR--

FOR TEN YEARS.

AND YOU JUST DECIDED ON YOUR OWN

TO BUY A DIFFERENT ONE?

- I'M SORRY.

- ♪ TELL ME WHY YOU REACH ♪

♪ GRASPING FOR MY KNEE ♪

♪ MY WRIST ♪

♪ THE LADDER ON THIS BEACH ♪

♪ CONNECTING YOU TO ME ♪

♪ LIKE THIS ♪

♪ AH AH ♪

♪ AH AH ♪

♪ OH ♪

- RIGHT NOW, I THINK THE MOST IMPORTANT THING

FOR US TO REMEMBER IS THAT...

WE'RE NOT THAT MUCH WORSE OFF

THAN WE WERE A WEEK AGO.

- WELL, EXCEPT FOR THE CREDIT CARDS

AND THE CARS AND...

AND THE HUMILIATION.

- YEAH, EXCEPT FOR THAT STUFF.

- YEAH, THAT STUFF.

- AND MY JOB.

- THEY'RE GONNA FIRE YOU?

- WELL, THAT DEPENDS ON...

HOW WELL SOME PEOPLE HANDLE SURPRISES.

- THIS HAD BETTER NOT BE A FUCKIN' TRICK

TO GET OUT OF YOUR MORONIC GIFT OR AROUND ME IN SOME WAY.

YOU'RE FIRED! - I FIGURED THAT.

- AND-- - AND WHAT? CAN'T DO MUCH ELSE.

- THE HELL I CAN'T. TRY FRAUD.

CONSPIRACY, EXTORTION.

- YOU KNOW THAT THERE WAS NOTHING MALICIOUS

ABOUT ANY OF THIS.

- I KNEW SOMEHOW, YOU'D FUCK ME.

- I DON'T CARE ENOUGH ABOUT YOU TO WANT TO FUCK YOU.

YOU'RE THE ONE THAT LEAKED IT. - YEAH, IN A PRESS CONFERENCE

AT 5:00 FOR YOUR GIVE-BACK, WHATEVER THE FUCK--

DAMN IT, I AM NOT GONNA TAKE THE FALL FOR THIS!

- I FIGURED THAT TOO.

- WELL, YOU BETTER FIGURE ON THE SKY

FALLING DOWN ON YOU.

I'M GONNA CHECK YOUR TAXES.

I'M GOING TO SEE IF YOU EVER MISSED DOTTING AN "I"

OR CROSSING A "T."

EILEEN, GET YOUR ASS IN HERE!

- DO YOU REALLY WANT TO MAKE THIS ANY WORSE

THAN IT ALREADY IS?

- YOU JUST GO BURY YOURSELF AND SAY NOTHING.

I'M GONNA MAKE YOU WISH DEATH WOULD SOLVE YOUR PROBLEMS.

SCORCHED EARTH.

MAKE THE CALLS.

I HAVE VERY DIFFERENT PLANS FOR TODAY.

I HAVE VERY DIFFERENT PLANS FOR TODAY.

I'D PLANNED TO TALK ABOUT MY--

MY CITYWIDE VOLUNTEER INITIATIVE.

INSTEAD, I GOTTA TALK ABOUT MORE DRAMATIC CUTS.

BUT FIRST, LLOYD HOWARD,

WHO CLAIMED TO HAVE WON LAST WEEK'S LOTTERY,

IN FACT DID NO SUCH THING.

PERHAPS, LIKE A FIREFIGHTER WHO SETS FIRE TO A HOUSE

IN ORDER TO RUSH IN AND RESCUE THE FAMILY,

HE WANTED TO BE A HERO.

BUT HE'S NO HERO.

THIS MAN ATTEMPTED TO EXTORT MILLIONS FROM PUBLIC COFFERS

TO FEND OFF GROWING FINANCIAL DIFFICULTIES.

I PROMISE A FULL INVESTIGATION

AND EXPECT CHARGES TO BE FILED SHORTLY.

- IT LOOKS PRETTY UGLY OUT THERE.

DOES MAY KNOW WHERE HE WENT?

- NO, SHE JUST SAID HE WAS BABBLING ON

ABOUT THE LIBRARY AND WALKED OUT THE DOOR

CARRYING A BUNCH OF TOOLS.

- OH, THAT MAN DOES NOT GIVE UP.

- EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE OKAY.

- YEAH. WISH ME LUCK.

- REMEMBER, "NO COMMENT."

- THERE HE IS. - THERE HE IS!

- NO COMMENT. - DID YOU DEFRAUD, SIR?

- YOU GAVE US HOPE, AND WE TRUSTED YOU!

HOW COULD YOU BETRAY YOUR COMMUNITY?

- I'VE NOT BETRAYED THIS PLACE.

I SUPPOSE, IF I WAS A REAL CROOK,

I'D BE ASKING FOR A BAILOUT, LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE.

WHY AREN'T YOU--WHY AREN'T YOU CAMPED OUT ON THE MAYOR'S LAWN?

OR THE DIRECTOR OF FANNIE MAE OR FREDDIE MAC,

OR ANY OF THOSE OTHER IDIOTS

WHO WENT OUT AND SPENT A BUNCH OF MONEY THEY DIDN'T HAVE?

HUH? SPENT OUR MONEY. OTHER PEOPLE'S MONEY.

HAS ANYBODY ACTUALLY LOOKED AROUND THIS PLACE?

- SO MUCH FOR "NO COMMENT."

- AND YOU GUYS ARE JUST STANDING AROUND WATCHING,

LIKE IT WASN'T HAPPENING TO YOU, BUT IT IS.

IT'S HAPPENING TO EVERYBODY, ALL OF US.

ALL I WAS TRYING TO DO IS...

GET PEOPLE TO GET UP OFF THEIR ASSES AND DO SOMETHING,

TAKE SOME RESPONSIBILITY.

YOU KNOW?

BREAK THE CYCLE, BEFORE IT BREAKS YOU.

- LOSER'S ON A ROLL.

- EVERYBODY, IT'S HAPPENING TO YOU AND YOU AND YOU.

- HE'S RIGHT, YOU KNOW.

- OH, YEAH? WHAT WOULD YOU KNOW?

- YOU TOLD ME ONCE TO ACT AS IF I GAVE A SHIT.

FOR YOUR INFO, I DO.

- IS ANYBODY PAYING ATTENTION?

I THINK I'VE SAID ENOUGH.

EXCUSE ME.

- WHERE'S THE OWNER OF THAT TRUCK?

GET HIM OUT OF HERE!

- JESS. - OH, GREAT.

HEY. - YOU ON A BENDER?

- NO. NO. NO, NO, NO.

I, UH... STAYED UP ALL NIGHT.

LOST 5 GRAND PLAYING KENO.

THOUGHT I COULD WIN OUR MONEY BACK.

LOOK, I STOPPED. I, YOU KNOW,

TOOK THE REST OF ED'S MONEY, AND BRINGING IT BACK HERE.

YOU KNOW, WHERE I LOST IT ALL.

WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON HERE?

- YOU KNOW WHERE ED'S AT? - NO.

INSIDE, I GUESS.

- ALL RIGHT, GET UP.

- YEAH. I'LL, UH, I'LL BE RIGHT IN.

- WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON?

- THINK HIS OLD BUTT FINALLY BLEW A GASKET.

- HEY, ED. WHAT'S UP?

SOMETHING ELSE I CAN DO.

- AND HE THINKS THAT WE WANT TO MURDER HIM.

NOW, I CAN'T SAY THAT THAT THOUGHT

HASN'T CROSSED MY MIND, BUT, YOU KNOW--

MAY CALLED ME, SAID SHE WAS WORRIED ABOUT HIM,

SO I CAME DOWN HERE AND-- HEY.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING, MAN? - RESTORING THIS PLACE.

- SO WHAT IS THIS, YOUR PENANCE FOR SCREWING UP?

COME ON, ED, THIS WAS ALL JUST A HALF-ASSED IDEA ANYWAY.

- YOU KNOW WHAT, I JUST SAY WE LEAVE HIM UP THERE.

LET HIM--LET HIM FINISH IT, YOU KNOW, THIS WHOLE THING.

THEN HE CAN COME TO MY HOUSE, WORK ON MY HOUSE,

AND THEN WORK HIS WAY DOWN THE BLOCK

AND FINISH EVERYBODY ELSE'S HOUSE TOO.

- WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE ME DO?

- WELL, TRY FORGIVING YOURSELF FOR A START.

- YOU GUYS HAVEN'T.

- YEAH, IT'S GOING TO TAKE A LITTLE TIME.

- WHAT IF YOU'RE IN JAIL? - A BIT MORE.

LOOK, WE GAVE IT OUR BEST.

- NO, YOU DON'T GIVE YOUR BEST, YOU GIVE WHAT'S NECESSARY.

AND YOU DON'T START SOMETHING AND THEN WALK AWAY FROM IT

WHEN IT GETS TOUGH.

THAT'S WHY THIS PLACE LOOKS THE WAY IT DOES.

- YOU'RE HOPELESS,

AND I'M GOING TO LET YOU HANDLE IT 'CAUSE I--NO, I JUST--

I'M NOT DOING IT.

MOTHERFUCKERS.

DAMN IT.

CAREFUL WITH THAT STAINED GLASS.

IT'S SUPPOSED TO GO IN MY LIVING ROOM.

SERIOUSLY, YOU GUYS MORONS?

- SHIRLEY.

SHIRLEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

YOU CAN'T DO THIS. - IT'S NOT AS IF ALL WE NEEDED

WAS A NEW COAT OF PAINT AND THE WEEDS WHACKED.

YOU FLUSHED OUR ONLY CHANCE

OF SOME REAL MONEY DOWN THE TOILET.

NOW I'M STUCK DOING DAMAGE CONTROL.

- WELL, YOU COULD'VE HELPED.

YOU KNOW, WE COULD'VE TURNED THIS PLACE AROUND.

- WE HAVE NO JOBS,

AND I'VE GOT AN 80-YEAR-OLD INFRASTRUCTURE

THAT NEEDS TO BE REPLACED

BEFORE SEWAGE STARTS SPEWING DOWN THE STREETS.

PEOPLE SEE WRECKING BALLS, THEY SEE PROGRESS.

OKAY, GET TO IT. - WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. ED--

ED AND JESSIE ARE STILL INSIDE.

- DAMN IT, GET THEM THE HELL OUT OF THERE.

- WHAT IF THEY DON'T MOVE? WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?

- ARREST THEM.

- WELL, THEN, I'LL JOIN THEM.

- THEN I'LL ARREST YOU TOO. - AND ME?

- AND ME?

- I'M ALREADY GOING TO ARREST YOU.

- YOU CAN'T ARREST EVERYBODY.

- YOU HONESTLY THINK I'M AFRAID OF YOU.

YOU CAN'T EVEN GET PEOPLE TO MOW THEIR LAWNS.

NO ONE CARES.

THEY'VE GIVEN UP. WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?

- 'CAUSE I BELIEVE THEY STILL DO CARE.

- UGH.

OH, JUST DROP IT. - YOU SURE, BOSS?

- DROP IT.

- MM-HMM.

- WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!

- ♪ KISS THE BABIES ♪

♪ AND FORGET THEIR NAME ♪

♪ I WAS SOMEBODY ♪

♪ WITH A BALL AND CHAIN ♪

- I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE CRUSHED YOUR CAR.

- YEAH, I'M KIND OF BUMMED ABOUT THAT.

- SO WE'RE JUST GOING TO GIVE UP HERE?

HOW FAR DO YOU THINK MARTIN LUTHER KING

WOULD'VE GOTTEN IF HE HAD ANNOUNCED

TO THE WORLD, "I HAVE A NIGHTMARE"?

- ED? - HMM?

- WHAT IN THE HELL DOES MARTIN LUTHER KING

HAVE TO DO WITH ANY OF THIS?

- BECAUSE HE SHOWS YOU HOW TO WIN

WITH THE HAND YOU'RE DEALT.

- ♪ WITH A BALL AND CHAIN ♪

WELL, I GOTTA GO FIND A WAY TO MAKE A LIVING.

WISH ME LUCK.

- NOTHING PERSONAL, BUT FROM NOW ON,

BEERS ARE C.O.D.

- AH, I GOT THIS ONE. SERIOUSLY.

- THANKS, ED. - THANKS, ED.

- SO WE GOING TO PICK SOME NEW NUMBERS?

AH. YOU GUYS CAN SLEEP ON THAT.

- FIGURED I'D FIND YOU ALL HERE.

HI. SO I WAS PICKING UP MY STUFF,

AND SOMEHOW, THE MAYOR'S COMPUTER

GOT IN MY BAG.

ANYONE KNOW HOW TO BREAK HER PASSWORD?

- LISTEN, YOU STILL COMFORTABLE BREAKING SOME FEDERAL LAWS,

MAYBE CRACKING A PASSWORD OR TWO?

- YEAH!

- I HEARD ABOUT THIS ROOM.

I CAN SEE HOW YOU'D FORGET

THAT PEOPLE ARE LOSING THEIR HOMES.

HEY, CAN I GET A WHISKEY SOUR?

NO?

WHAT'S IT TAKE TO GET A DRINK AROUND HERE?

- YOU HAVE TO BE A MEMBER. - OH.

SO WHAT DO I GOTTA DO?

RUIN A BANK AND GET BILLIONS IN BAILOUTS?

- WE DIDN'T GET BILLIONS, LLOYD.

- I KNOW, I'M EXAGGERATING. BILLION.

WHAT IS THE PRICE OF ADMISSION?

IS IT $128,000

TO BUILD A CELL TOWER NEAR YOUR HOME?

OR IS IT ONLY 25 GRAND

IN TRAVEL EXPENSES FOR A TRADE MISSION TO FIJI?

DO WE TRADE WITH FIJI?

THIS IS GOING TO BE FUN.

HMM.

THIS IS HIGHLAND PARK'S LUCKY DAY,

ESPECIALLY FOR MY BUDDY ALI HERE.

SEE, HE'S ENGINEERED WHAT I LIKE TO CALL A REVERSE BAILOUT.

HE'S GOING TO BRING THE MOST INNOVATIVE PRIVATE INVESTMENT

TO HIGHLAND PARK SINCE FORD.

YOU GUYS GET TO STAY OUT OF JAIL.

- ARE YOU SOME SORT OF MASOCHIST?

- REMEMBER THOSE HUD GRANTS THAT WERE SUPPOSED TO GO

TO PUBLIC HOUSING THAT NEVER GOT BUILT?

- SO YOU'VE DONE A LITTLE RESEARCH.

- YOU'D BE AMAZED AT WHAT CAN BE FOUND

BY ONE MAN SITTING ALONE AT NIGHT

WITH NOTHING BUT THE INTERNET TO DISTRACT HIM.

I ALSO FIND IT REALLY SWEET THAT YOU THOUGHT

YOU COULD ERASE EMAILS JUST BY DELETING THEM.

- YOU GUYS REALLY SHOULD UPDATE YOUR SYSTEMS.

THEY'RE PRETTY MUCH AN OPEN BOOK.

- SO YOU'RE JUST A COUPLE OF HACKERS.

- NO, WE JUST FIGURE, WHEN SOMETHING'S BROKEN,

YOU FIND A WAY TO FIX IT.

- WITH DOUG'S BAILOUT,

WE CAN FINANCE THE RETOOLING OF THE PLANT,

THE COMMUNITY FARM, LIBRARY RESTORATIONS--

- I CAN'T AFFORD TO MAKE THOSE KIND OF LOANS

AND STAY IN BUSINESS.

- DOUG, YOU CAN'T AFFORD NOT TO.

HOW MUCH DID YOU LEND SHIRLEY TO RESTORE

HER HOUSE, JUST BALLPARK?

AND, SHIRLEY, HOW MUCH OF THAT

DID YOU END UP PAYING BACK, AGAIN, JUST BALLPARK?

- THIS IS ALL ON THE INTERNET?

- NOT YET.

THANK YOU.

BUT WE ALL KNOW WHAT WOULD HAPPEN

IF 30,000 OF YOUR PERSONAL EMAILS WERE POSTED ONLINE.

COME ON, IF YOU CAN'T SEE THAT THINGS HAVE GOT TO CHANGE,

YOU'RE ALL BLIND.

YOU KNOW, DOUG HERE, HE DRIVES

HIS BANK INTO THE DIRT AND WALKS AWAY

WITH A $2.1-MILLION BONUS.

HE OWES US.

WHY DON'T YOU REIMBURSE THE CITY FOR TOOLS AND PAINTS

AND MAYBE BUY SOME BOOKS, MAYBE BUY RORY A NEW CAR?

- IS THIS BLACKMAIL? - I PREFER THE WORD JUSTICE.

- I'D LIKE THAT.

- WE NEED TO PUT THIS PLACE BACK TO WORK,

HIRE BACK OUR TEACHERS, AND INVEST IN OUR OWN FUTURE.

- SPOKEN BY A BANKRUPT IDEALIST.

SOMETIMES YOU DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO IN ORDER TO SURVIVE.

YOU'VE GOT TO RISE TO THE TASK TO BE A LEADER.

- YOU'RE NOT A LEADER.

YOU'RE A CHEESY, MONEY-HUNGRY SHREW

WHO SHOULD'VE BEEN STUCK GIVING HAND JOBS UNDER THE BLEACHERS

INSTEAD OF SCREWING PEOPLE FROM BEHIND THE DESK.

OKAY?

LOOKS TO ME LIKE YOU'RE ALL FUCKED.

NOW WE-- WE WILL CLEAN THIS PLACE UP.

THAT'S GOING TO START RIGHT HERE,

RIGHT NOW IN THIS ROOM.

GOTTA WARN YOU, THERE IS SOME PRESS OUT FRONT.

I'M GOING TO GO START THE SPIN.

AND UNLESS ANY OF YOU WANT TO EXPLAIN

WHY YOU DON'T BELONG IN FEDERAL PRISON,

I SUGGEST YOU FOLLOW MY LEAD. THANKS FOR THE DRINK.

- ♪ WELL, IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME ♪

♪ LONG TIME NOW ♪

♪ SINCE I'VE SEEN YOU SMILE ♪

- HEY. - HEY.

- WELL, THEY LOOK HAPPY.

- YEAH, WE HAD FUN. - THAT'S GOOD.

- HERE'S 97 BUCKS.

BETTER NEXT TIME WITH ANY LUCK.

YOU KNOW, I'M REALLY PROUD OF YOU, JESS.

I COULD JUST FORGET EVERYTHING THAT YOU'VE DONE, BUT...

DO YOU WANT TO COME IN? - ♪ SINCE I'VE SEEN YOU ♪

♪ SMILE ♪

♪ AND IN A YEAR ♪

♪ A YEAR OR SO ♪

♪ THIS WILL SLIP ♪

♪ INTO THE SEA ♪

♪ BUT IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME ♪

♪ LONG TIME NOW ♪

♪ SINCE I'VE SEEN YOU SMILE ♪

- THEY CAME FOR THE CAMPER.

- OKAY.

- LOOKS LIKE GOOD PIE, DAD.

- ♪ NOBODY RAISE YOUR VOICES ♪

♪ OH ♪

♪ JUST ANOTHER NIGHT IN NANTES ♪

♪ NOBODY RAISE YOUR VOICES ♪

♪ OH ♪

♪ JUST ANOTHER NIGHT IN NANTES ♪

♪ WELL, IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME ♪

♪ LONG TIME NOW ♪

♪ SINCE I'VE SEEN YOU ♪

♪ SMILE ♪

♪ AND I'LL GAMBLE AWAY ♪

♪ MY FRIGHT ♪

♪ AND I'LL GAMBLE AWAY ♪

♪ MY TIME ♪

♪ AND IN A YEAR ♪

♪ A YEAR OR SO ♪

♪ THIS WILL SLIP ♪

♪ INTO THE SEA ♪

♪ BUT IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME ♪

♪ LONG TIME NOW ♪

♪ SINCE I'VE SEEN YOU ♪

♪ SMILE ♪

MOTHERFUCKER.