subtitlecat.com

All language subtitles for Half Magic

Afrikaans

Albanian

Amharic

Arabic

Armenian

Azerbaijani

Basque

Belarusian

Bengali

Bosnian

Bulgarian

Catalan

Cebuano

Chichewa

Chinese (Simplified)

Chinese (Traditional)

Corsican

Croatian

Czech

Danish

Dutch

English

Esperanto

Estonian

Filipino

Finnish

French Download

Frisian

Galician

Georgian

German

Greek

Gujarati

Haitian Creole

Hausa

Hawaiian

Hebrew

Hindi

Hmong

Hungarian

Icelandic

Igbo

Indonesian

Irish

Italian

Japanese

Javanese

Kannada

Kazakh

Khmer

Korean

Kurdish (Kurmanji)

Kyrgyz

Lao

Latin

Latvian

Lithuanian

Luxembourgish

Macedonian

Malagasy

Malay

Malayalam

Maltese

Maori

Marathi

Mongolian

Myanmar (Burmese)

Nepali

Norwegian

Pashto

Persian

Polish

Portuguese

Punjabi

Romanian

Russian

Samoan

Scots Gaelic

Serbian

Sesotho

Shona

Sindhi

Sinhala

Slovak

Slovenian

Somali

Spanish

Sundanese

Swahili

Swedish

Tajik

Tamil

Telugu

Thai

Turkish

Ukrainian

Urdu

Uzbek

Vietnamese

Welsh

Xhosa

Yiddish

Yoruba

Zulu

Odia (Oriya)

Kinyarwanda

Turkmen

Tatar

Uyghur

Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:21,787 Woman: Danny, don't splash me! 2 00:00:21,788 --> 00:00:22,855 Stop. I'm getting wet. 3 00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:26,659 Man: That's the idea. 4 00:00:27,494 --> 00:00:29,261 - Woman: Stop it. - Hi, sweetie. 5 00:00:29,262 --> 00:00:30,496 Man: Oh, come on! 6 00:00:30,497 --> 00:00:32,464 Come on, let's go back to my place. 7 00:00:32,465 --> 00:00:34,066 Woman: Maybe we should wait. 8 00:00:34,067 --> 00:00:35,969 Man: Wait, schmait! 9 00:00:37,670 --> 00:00:39,204 These two people are not married, 10 00:00:39,205 --> 00:00:41,540 and they're going to have premarital sex. 11 00:00:41,541 --> 00:00:43,208 You could go to hell for that. 12 00:00:43,209 --> 00:00:44,777 All right, that's it. You're not allowed 13 00:00:44,778 --> 00:00:46,412 to watch this show anymore. 14 00:00:46,413 --> 00:00:49,214 It inspires urges that are... 15 00:00:49,215 --> 00:00:52,618 - Wrong and bad. - Woman: Let's go to your place. 16 00:00:52,619 --> 00:00:53,386 Man: Groovy! 17 00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:55,588 You could go to hell for those urges. 18 00:00:59,325 --> 00:01:01,794 In hell, there is a fire 19 00:01:01,795 --> 00:01:05,831 that will lap at you for all eternity. 20 00:01:05,832 --> 00:01:07,766 You gotta decide... 21 00:01:07,767 --> 00:01:12,571 Do you want to go to heaven, or do you wanna go to hell? 22 00:01:16,409 --> 00:01:19,611 Yeah. You a bad girl? Huh? You a bad girl? 23 00:01:19,612 --> 00:01:21,213 - I'm a bad girl. - Yeah! 24 00:01:21,214 --> 00:01:23,782 You're a dirty little slut, huh? Dirty little slut, 25 00:01:23,783 --> 00:01:24,983 - yeah. - Um, yes. 26 00:01:24,984 --> 00:01:25,952 Say it. Say you're a dirty slut. 27 00:01:25,953 --> 00:01:29,089 - I'm a dirty slut. - Yeah, you're a dirty slut! 28 00:01:38,531 --> 00:01:40,900 Oh. Hmm. 29 00:01:41,234 --> 00:01:44,537 Hmm. Hmm. 30 00:01:45,004 --> 00:01:46,473 Okay. 31 00:01:46,906 --> 00:01:48,308 Oh. 32 00:01:51,911 --> 00:01:52,479 Mm. 33 00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:54,980 Why do you always call me a dirty little slut? 34 00:01:54,981 --> 00:01:56,014 Ah. 35 00:01:56,015 --> 00:01:58,417 Come on. You love it. 36 00:01:58,418 --> 00:02:00,119 I like having sex on a bed. 37 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:02,454 Is this because maybe you're, uh, you're jealous 38 00:02:02,455 --> 00:02:03,755 that I'm more successful than you? 39 00:02:03,756 --> 00:02:05,090 Man: Mr. Brock, 40 00:02:05,091 --> 00:02:06,091 we're ready for you onstage. 41 00:02:06,092 --> 00:02:09,394 Peter, you have been in one great movie after another. 42 00:02:09,395 --> 00:02:11,230 Walk me through your process. 43 00:02:11,231 --> 00:02:13,299 How do you prepare for this? 44 00:02:13,566 --> 00:02:16,135 I tell you, I play a lot of action heroes. 45 00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:17,036 Um... 46 00:02:17,037 --> 00:02:18,670 And in those... in those movies, 47 00:02:18,671 --> 00:02:21,206 I have heavy artillery. I have guns, 48 00:02:21,207 --> 00:02:22,642 okay? 49 00:02:23,476 --> 00:02:25,612 I have a gun on me right now. 50 00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:27,813 Not physically, in the physical sense. 51 00:02:27,814 --> 00:02:30,215 I put it on the table earlier. It's right here. 52 00:02:30,216 --> 00:02:31,316 Imagine it, okay? 53 00:02:31,317 --> 00:02:34,253 - It's an emotional gun for me. - Right. 54 00:02:34,254 --> 00:02:35,922 This gun's here... 55 00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:36,890 All the time. 56 00:02:36,891 --> 00:02:39,825 Sometimes I put it in my pocket, sometimes I put it in my... 57 00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:41,593 That's how I prepare. I'm always ready. 58 00:02:41,594 --> 00:02:44,796 I'm always the action hero. Bang! Not real. 59 00:02:44,797 --> 00:02:46,332 But real. 60 00:02:46,466 --> 00:02:48,133 - Man: Uh... - I'll do it. 61 00:02:48,134 --> 00:02:49,601 Don't do it. 62 00:02:49,602 --> 00:02:50,370 I won't do it. 63 00:02:50,371 --> 00:02:52,137 You've been doing this for years, and years and years. 64 00:02:52,138 --> 00:02:54,439 Certainly, you've heard some of the talk on the streets. 65 00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:56,775 People say that Peter is just a tough guy, 66 00:02:56,776 --> 00:02:59,478 a hard guy to work with. How do you respond to that? 67 00:02:59,479 --> 00:03:03,782 Yeah, Napoleon died exiled on an island of... of leprosy. 68 00:03:03,783 --> 00:03:04,816 That's... that's true. 69 00:03:04,817 --> 00:03:05,851 - That's history. - Man: Yeah. 70 00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:09,098 Jesus died on the cross, you know? 71 00:03:09,122 --> 00:03:10,689 Um, visionaries die 72 00:03:10,690 --> 00:03:13,692 sometimes quicker than non-visionaries. 73 00:03:13,693 --> 00:03:14,527 You're a visionary? 74 00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:15,794 Peter: Thank you. But I'm not saying... 75 00:03:15,795 --> 00:03:17,262 - Oh, you're asking. I think... - It was a question. 76 00:03:17,263 --> 00:03:19,631 Um, I think that's up for kinda the press to decide, 77 00:03:19,632 --> 00:03:20,600 and I think that bloggers, 78 00:03:20,601 --> 00:03:22,601 and people who write physical magazines 79 00:03:22,602 --> 00:03:23,902 have said I was a... a visionary. 80 00:03:23,903 --> 00:03:25,604 People have... Have tweeted me about that. 81 00:03:25,605 --> 00:03:27,206 You know, you made bros before hos. 82 00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:28,473 Why don't you make the female version? 83 00:03:28,474 --> 00:03:30,542 I... I wrote a great script. It's called chicks before dicks. 84 00:03:30,543 --> 00:03:32,344 - Did you read it? - Uh, look, boo boo, 85 00:03:32,345 --> 00:03:33,712 you have all the talent. You really do. 86 00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:34,880 And I'm the one that discovered you 87 00:03:34,881 --> 00:03:36,248 and gave you your big break, right? 88 00:03:36,249 --> 00:03:37,282 - Yeah. - Yeah, I promoted you 89 00:03:37,283 --> 00:03:38,984 - to be my d girl, right? - I want to be a writer. 90 00:03:38,985 --> 00:03:40,686 I know you want to be a writer, and in due time. 91 00:03:40,687 --> 00:03:43,355 Really. Your writing is great. It's fresh and very unique. 92 00:03:43,356 --> 00:03:44,389 But you're bogging yourself down 93 00:03:44,390 --> 00:03:46,191 talking about stupid shit. You know what? You... 94 00:03:46,192 --> 00:03:48,393 Nobody wants to hear about women's stories, all right? 95 00:03:48,394 --> 00:03:50,329 If you want to make a film, you got to talk about a man. 96 00:03:50,330 --> 00:03:51,897 You gotta write about a man. That's what you have to do. 97 00:03:51,898 --> 00:03:53,832 Well, can you read my script? It's called the year of my yoni. 98 00:03:53,833 --> 00:03:55,601 It's about a woman who goes on a spiritual quest 99 00:03:55,602 --> 00:03:57,569 to find happiness and to learn about her yoni. 100 00:03:57,570 --> 00:03:58,770 Yoni? I don't even know what that is. 101 00:03:58,771 --> 00:04:00,372 Is that, like, a new way of saying "vagina"? 102 00:04:00,373 --> 00:04:01,773 It sounds like a porno. I'm not into it. 103 00:04:01,774 --> 00:04:04,810 Look, a guy bashing another guy's skull in 104 00:04:04,811 --> 00:04:07,614 with a baseball bat, that's what sells. 105 00:04:09,015 --> 00:04:11,483 Well, I could change the title to the ultra-violent yoni. 106 00:04:11,484 --> 00:04:13,785 You know, that's a good start. You could put more violence 107 00:04:13,786 --> 00:04:14,987 in your script, that'd definitely get 108 00:04:14,988 --> 00:04:16,321 a better chance of getting it made. Um, 109 00:04:16,322 --> 00:04:18,123 on my end, I'm gonna put more female characters 110 00:04:18,124 --> 00:04:19,725 - in my next script. - Really? 111 00:04:19,726 --> 00:04:22,027 Yeah, uh, it's called kill the sluts. 112 00:04:22,028 --> 00:04:23,161 Uh, I'm gonna pick a title 113 00:04:23,162 --> 00:04:24,329 that's more PC a little bit later. 114 00:04:24,330 --> 00:04:26,365 That's a working title. But basically, uh, 115 00:04:26,366 --> 00:04:28,967 the movie's about this crazy psychopathic killer 116 00:04:28,968 --> 00:04:29,968 that goes on a killing rampage 117 00:04:29,969 --> 00:04:31,103 and kills all these teenage sluts. 118 00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:33,038 But the only person that he can't kill 119 00:04:33,039 --> 00:04:34,506 is an 18-year-old virgin. 120 00:04:34,507 --> 00:04:37,075 Don't you think that'll send out a weird message to women 121 00:04:37,076 --> 00:04:38,810 and teenage girls about sex? And those women 122 00:04:38,811 --> 00:04:40,445 might grow up and have a lot of issues. 123 00:04:40,446 --> 00:04:41,980 I'm not saying I'm against women's rights. 124 00:04:41,981 --> 00:04:43,715 I'm just saying that there's no market 125 00:04:43,716 --> 00:04:45,083 for their films. 126 00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,992 Woman: Hello! 127 00:06:01,127 --> 00:06:02,961 - Welcome! - Welcome, goddess! 128 00:06:02,962 --> 00:06:03,962 Is this your first time? 129 00:06:03,963 --> 00:06:06,264 - I guess so. - Are you ready 130 00:06:06,265 --> 00:06:08,133 to uncover your deepest desires 131 00:06:08,134 --> 00:06:11,503 and join the pleasure revolution? 132 00:06:11,504 --> 00:06:13,872 - Honey: I don't know. - That's good enough for now. 133 00:06:13,873 --> 00:06:15,640 You are in exactly the right place. 134 00:06:15,641 --> 00:06:18,544 - Roxy: Yes! Welcome! - Honey: Oh. 135 00:06:19,979 --> 00:06:23,081 Fear! So what? 136 00:06:23,082 --> 00:06:26,952 Failure! So what? 137 00:06:26,953 --> 00:06:29,555 Woman: My pussy is strong! 138 00:06:29,822 --> 00:06:32,290 My pussy is strong! 139 00:06:32,291 --> 00:06:34,459 My pussy is a genius! 140 00:06:34,460 --> 00:06:37,329 All: My pussy is a genius! 141 00:06:37,330 --> 00:06:41,266 We must listen to our pussies. 142 00:06:41,267 --> 00:06:45,772 All: We must listen to our pussies. 143 00:06:48,975 --> 00:06:50,809 Ladies, I would now like to introduce you 144 00:06:50,810 --> 00:06:53,111 to a dear friend of mine, my mentor, 145 00:06:53,112 --> 00:06:58,818 Dr. Christiane northrup! 146 00:07:00,887 --> 00:07:02,988 - What a pleasure. - Thank you. 147 00:07:02,989 --> 00:07:05,090 Thank you. Thank you. 148 00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:06,525 All right... 149 00:07:06,526 --> 00:07:07,826 I have something... 150 00:07:07,827 --> 00:07:11,264 Really magical to tell you. 151 00:07:12,131 --> 00:07:15,067 I love my breasts. 152 00:07:15,201 --> 00:07:16,368 Say it with me. 153 00:07:16,369 --> 00:07:20,305 All: I love my breasts. 154 00:07:20,306 --> 00:07:21,673 I love your breasts, too, Chris. 155 00:07:21,674 --> 00:07:25,710 - And I love yours. Thank you. - Oh, thank you. 156 00:07:25,711 --> 00:07:26,845 Now it is time to honor 157 00:07:26,846 --> 00:07:28,547 the breasts of the women in the room. 158 00:07:28,548 --> 00:07:31,783 I would like you to turn to the person next to you, 159 00:07:31,784 --> 00:07:34,386 and look at her breasts and say, 160 00:07:34,387 --> 00:07:39,491 "your bodacious ta-tas honor me and they honor you." 161 00:07:39,492 --> 00:07:41,560 Find... everybody find a partner, please. 162 00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:46,364 Excuse me, could you... Could you be my partner? 163 00:07:46,365 --> 00:07:47,632 - Woman: Yes, sure. - Okay. 164 00:07:47,633 --> 00:07:48,767 Hi! I don't have a partner. 165 00:07:48,768 --> 00:07:50,902 Is it possible we could do a three-way? 166 00:07:50,903 --> 00:07:51,871 I've never done a three-way. 167 00:07:51,872 --> 00:07:54,774 This is my third time taking the class. 168 00:07:54,874 --> 00:07:56,641 First time... 169 00:07:56,642 --> 00:07:58,043 I liked my boobs. 170 00:07:58,044 --> 00:08:01,179 Second time, I loved my boobs. 171 00:08:01,180 --> 00:08:01,948 Now... 172 00:08:01,949 --> 00:08:05,284 I really, really love my boobs. 173 00:08:05,384 --> 00:08:06,485 - Mm! - Wow. 174 00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:09,855 Yeah. This is a powerful exercise to release the shame 175 00:08:09,856 --> 00:08:12,624 that we carry in our sexual organs. 176 00:08:12,625 --> 00:08:13,992 Okay! 177 00:08:13,993 --> 00:08:18,531 Your bodacious ta-tas honor me and they honor you. 178 00:08:19,265 --> 00:08:23,102 Your bodacious ta-tas honor me and they honor you. 179 00:08:23,803 --> 00:08:24,403 Okay! 180 00:08:24,404 --> 00:08:27,939 Your bodacious ta-tas honor me and they honor you. 181 00:08:27,940 --> 00:08:30,942 Wow! This is my first lesbian experience. 182 00:08:30,943 --> 00:08:34,046 I didn't know I had it in me. 183 00:08:34,447 --> 00:08:35,114 Okay. I... 184 00:08:35,115 --> 00:08:36,948 Are you Eva St. Claire the designer? 185 00:08:36,949 --> 00:08:38,283 - Yes. - Wow, I'm... 186 00:08:38,284 --> 00:08:41,754 Why are you in this class? You seem so together. 187 00:08:42,488 --> 00:08:43,989 Believe me... 188 00:08:43,990 --> 00:08:44,891 I have issues. 189 00:08:44,892 --> 00:08:46,491 Woman: That is now the end of the class 190 00:08:46,492 --> 00:08:48,426 for the divine feminine workshop. 191 00:08:48,427 --> 00:08:50,462 We will be meeting next week 192 00:08:50,463 --> 00:08:51,130 to worship 193 00:08:51,131 --> 00:08:54,299 and decorate our pussies. 194 00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:57,737 Woman: Thank you. 195 00:08:59,772 --> 00:09:04,843 Pussy! Pussy! Pussy! Pussy! 196 00:09:04,844 --> 00:09:06,244 This class changed my life. 197 00:09:06,245 --> 00:09:08,547 This class, my color-therapy workshops, 198 00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:11,817 and my past-life regression conferences. 199 00:09:12,285 --> 00:09:13,985 - What's color therapy? - Oh! 200 00:09:13,986 --> 00:09:16,756 It's about how certain colors make you feel. 201 00:09:17,356 --> 00:09:19,157 That sounds helpful. 202 00:09:19,158 --> 00:09:19,725 Oh! 203 00:09:19,726 --> 00:09:21,860 Do you guys want to come to the place where I work? 204 00:09:21,861 --> 00:09:24,963 I cast magical spells to make your dreams come true. 205 00:09:24,964 --> 00:09:26,064 I'm a hope-ologist. 206 00:09:26,065 --> 00:09:28,700 - What's a hope-ologist? - I just made that word up. 207 00:09:28,701 --> 00:09:29,502 Isn't it awesome? 208 00:09:29,503 --> 00:09:33,471 I believe in the religion of hope, or hope-ology. 209 00:09:33,472 --> 00:09:34,706 I just made that up, too! 210 00:09:34,707 --> 00:09:37,442 I just spent an hour singing about my pussy, 211 00:09:37,443 --> 00:09:38,643 so why the hell not? 212 00:09:38,644 --> 00:09:40,312 Yeah, I mean, it's either that or going home 213 00:09:40,313 --> 00:09:41,780 to think about how much I hate myself, 214 00:09:41,781 --> 00:09:43,882 - so let's do it. - Let's do it! 215 00:09:43,883 --> 00:09:47,719 ♪ Sha-ba-lum ah-ooh sha-ba-lum ♪ 216 00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:51,590 ♪ ah-ooh sha-ba-lum ah-ooh ♪ 217 00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:53,358 This place is really cool. 218 00:09:53,359 --> 00:09:54,760 Candy: Okay. 219 00:09:55,995 --> 00:09:56,862 So... 220 00:09:56,863 --> 00:09:58,763 What do you want to wish for? 221 00:09:58,764 --> 00:10:00,732 - How does it work? - Oh... 222 00:10:00,733 --> 00:10:03,501 I carve these candles and cast spells on them. 223 00:10:03,502 --> 00:10:05,270 I don't know if it's positive intention 224 00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:07,906 or creative visualization or actual magic, 225 00:10:07,907 --> 00:10:10,976 but these spells work for a lot of people. 226 00:10:10,977 --> 00:10:14,113 Some of my regulars call me the witch. 227 00:10:14,547 --> 00:10:16,514 - What kind of spells? - Oh! All kinds. 228 00:10:16,515 --> 00:10:19,684 Some for serious stuff, like for love, or work and stuff, 229 00:10:19,685 --> 00:10:22,921 but some fun ones, too, like, "I want my own unicorn." 230 00:10:22,922 --> 00:10:24,122 They aren't magical. 231 00:10:24,123 --> 00:10:26,124 They're overpriced candles for rich idiots 232 00:10:26,125 --> 00:10:27,892 who got nothing better to do. 233 00:10:27,893 --> 00:10:28,861 Your paycheck's on my desk. 234 00:10:28,862 --> 00:10:30,261 Can you take out the trash while you're at it? 235 00:10:30,262 --> 00:10:31,830 I don't want the rats getting in there. 236 00:10:31,831 --> 00:10:33,198 Sorry, Mr. J. 237 00:10:33,199 --> 00:10:35,567 Did Mr. Fun time just call us idiots? 238 00:10:35,568 --> 00:10:37,469 What an asshole. I think some people 239 00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:39,371 just don't have enough imagination. 240 00:10:39,372 --> 00:10:41,373 Honey, I think you should go first. 241 00:10:41,374 --> 00:10:43,308 Okay. Um, hmm. 242 00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:45,477 Well, I want to have hot sex with someone 243 00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:47,012 who's really nice to me. 244 00:10:47,013 --> 00:10:51,316 Hot sex. Yes. Give it to me! I want that, too. 245 00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:55,353 I want to not fall asleep during sex. 246 00:10:55,354 --> 00:10:57,156 I want to be awake. 247 00:10:57,990 --> 00:10:59,257 I want to be... 248 00:10:59,258 --> 00:11:01,126 An active part of it. 249 00:11:01,127 --> 00:11:04,239 - Okay, I want in. I want in! - Okay. 250 00:11:04,263 --> 00:11:05,463 Um... 251 00:11:05,464 --> 00:11:08,033 I'm gonna use the red candle 252 00:11:08,034 --> 00:11:09,635 for passion. 253 00:11:09,802 --> 00:11:10,636 So... 254 00:11:10,637 --> 00:11:12,370 You hold the candle and you think 255 00:11:12,371 --> 00:11:15,106 about what you want to release from your life, 256 00:11:15,107 --> 00:11:18,177 and then think about what you want. 257 00:11:18,310 --> 00:11:20,946 Picture the hot sex. 258 00:11:25,151 --> 00:11:26,728 Okay. 259 00:11:26,752 --> 00:11:27,520 All right. 260 00:11:27,521 --> 00:11:29,854 I want to have the hottest sex I've ever had 261 00:11:29,855 --> 00:11:32,825 with someone who's really nice to me. 262 00:11:34,226 --> 00:11:36,062 And so mote it be. 263 00:11:36,195 --> 00:11:36,762 "Mote"? 264 00:11:36,763 --> 00:11:39,932 It's witch talk for "and so shall it be." 265 00:11:40,099 --> 00:11:41,466 Witch talk. 266 00:11:41,467 --> 00:11:43,069 I like it. 267 00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:43,969 Okay. 268 00:11:43,970 --> 00:11:47,372 You guys, I really just want my ex-husband back. 269 00:11:47,373 --> 00:11:49,874 I don't need hot sex. 270 00:11:49,875 --> 00:11:50,576 I mean, like... 271 00:11:50,577 --> 00:11:53,978 Room-temperature-warm sex would be nice 272 00:11:53,979 --> 00:11:56,215 for me. Here we go. 273 00:11:56,415 --> 00:11:58,717 And so mote it be. 274 00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:00,453 And so mote it be. 275 00:12:01,187 --> 00:12:02,220 Hmm. 276 00:12:02,221 --> 00:12:04,557 I want hot sex with Daniel. 277 00:12:04,657 --> 00:12:06,759 - So mote it be. - So mote it be. 278 00:12:13,333 --> 00:12:16,835 Okay, I don't know if all of this is bs, 279 00:12:16,836 --> 00:12:18,369 but I actually feel better. 280 00:12:18,370 --> 00:12:21,239 Oh, my god, I'm invited to a fun party tonight! 281 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:22,907 Do you guys want to go with me? 282 00:12:22,908 --> 00:12:24,142 - Yeah! - Candy: Yeah! 283 00:12:24,143 --> 00:12:27,279 ♪ I got the light ♪ 284 00:12:27,913 --> 00:12:30,883 ♪ I got the light ♪ 285 00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:34,420 ♪ I got the light ♪ 286 00:12:35,554 --> 00:12:38,357 ♪ I got the light ♪ 287 00:12:39,158 --> 00:12:42,328 ♪ I got the light ♪ 288 00:12:43,563 --> 00:12:44,829 ♪ I got the light ♪ 289 00:12:44,830 --> 00:12:47,098 - Candy: Oh, my god. - Wait for it. 290 00:12:47,099 --> 00:12:48,433 ♪ I got the light ♪ 291 00:12:48,434 --> 00:12:50,435 Oh, yeah! Here we go. 292 00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:53,204 Ah! 293 00:12:53,205 --> 00:12:57,076 Oh, my god! Amazing! 294 00:12:57,877 --> 00:12:58,778 Hi! 295 00:12:58,779 --> 00:13:01,146 ♪ I got the light ♪ 296 00:13:09,221 --> 00:13:10,321 Eva: Oh, my god. 297 00:13:17,863 --> 00:13:21,300 ♪ I got the light ♪ 298 00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:29,801 ♪ I got the light ♪ 299 00:13:36,515 --> 00:13:39,084 - Hey! - Ah! 300 00:13:39,285 --> 00:13:41,419 - Eva: Hi! - It's so good to see you, babe. 301 00:13:41,420 --> 00:13:42,554 Good to see you, too. 302 00:13:42,555 --> 00:13:44,622 And who is your gorgeous friend? 303 00:13:44,623 --> 00:13:45,357 Eva: Oh, uh... 304 00:13:45,358 --> 00:13:47,759 Honey, this is freedom. He's a great artist. 305 00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:49,828 He does these cool light installations. 306 00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:52,463 - Honey: Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you. 307 00:13:53,966 --> 00:13:56,267 I would really love to show you my art installations. 308 00:13:56,268 --> 00:13:57,602 I would love to see your art installations. 309 00:13:57,603 --> 00:13:59,971 Yeah, I'd really love to dance with you right now. 310 00:13:59,972 --> 00:14:01,573 - Okay! - Yeah. 311 00:14:07,046 --> 00:14:10,149 ♪ I got the light ♪ 312 00:14:10,482 --> 00:14:13,886 ♪ I got the light ♪ 313 00:14:14,753 --> 00:14:17,122 ♪ I got the light ♪ 314 00:14:17,957 --> 00:14:20,993 ♪ oh I got the light ♪ 315 00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:24,095 Want to get something to eat? 316 00:14:24,096 --> 00:14:27,298 I... I can't, 'cause I have to get up early tomorrow, 317 00:14:27,299 --> 00:14:29,568 and I have a boyfriend. 318 00:14:32,972 --> 00:14:34,305 What's that? 319 00:14:34,306 --> 00:14:35,174 "No one... 320 00:14:35,175 --> 00:14:36,307 Can take away the dance." 321 00:14:36,308 --> 00:14:38,543 It's a Spanish saying. 322 00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:39,577 No matter what happens, 323 00:14:39,578 --> 00:14:42,314 we'll always have this wonderful night... 324 00:14:42,982 --> 00:14:44,482 And our dance. 325 00:14:44,483 --> 00:14:46,018 Honey: Oh. 326 00:14:46,352 --> 00:14:48,888 Thanks for your jacket. 327 00:14:49,255 --> 00:14:50,856 That was fun. 328 00:14:50,990 --> 00:14:52,190 ♪ I got the light ♪ 329 00:14:52,191 --> 00:14:55,860 ♪ I got the light ♪ ♪ I got the light ♪ 330 00:14:55,861 --> 00:14:58,496 The dance lives forever. 331 00:14:58,497 --> 00:15:00,531 Freedom: Dance lives forever! 332 00:15:00,532 --> 00:15:03,701 ♪ I got the light ♪ 333 00:15:03,702 --> 00:15:07,538 - ♪ I got the light ♪ - ♪ I got the light ♪ 334 00:15:07,539 --> 00:15:11,843 - ♪ I got the light ♪ - ♪ all of the way ♪ 335 00:15:11,844 --> 00:15:14,613 ♪ I got the light ♪ 336 00:15:15,114 --> 00:15:16,781 This is what I want to happen. I want the slut 337 00:15:16,782 --> 00:15:18,783 to have an orgasm, and when she has an orgasm 338 00:15:18,784 --> 00:15:20,184 I want the killer to come up behind her 339 00:15:20,185 --> 00:15:21,786 and just stab her in the ass, okay? 340 00:15:21,787 --> 00:15:23,821 I want there to be a lot of blood in this scene. 341 00:15:23,822 --> 00:15:25,323 Like, almost too much, where you're like... 342 00:15:25,324 --> 00:15:29,193 But... but a lot, but, like... But, like, almost too much. 343 00:15:29,194 --> 00:15:31,129 I also want there to be very good dialogue, 344 00:15:31,130 --> 00:15:32,730 okay? And that's where you come in. 345 00:15:32,731 --> 00:15:34,966 So I want the character to say something cool, like, 346 00:15:34,967 --> 00:15:36,434 "fuck you, bitch! Fuck you!" 347 00:15:36,435 --> 00:15:38,169 "Fuck you, bitch. Fuck you." Got it. 348 00:15:38,170 --> 00:15:40,639 Do whatever you want to do, but that. 349 00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:44,642 I'm sick of watching women get stabbed in movies. 350 00:15:44,643 --> 00:15:48,814 I think it's a great idea, Peter. I love all your ideas. 351 00:15:50,182 --> 00:15:51,150 So much. 352 00:15:51,151 --> 00:15:53,618 Excuse me, but why does the woman who enjoys sex 353 00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:55,186 always have to die in horror films? 354 00:15:55,187 --> 00:15:57,790 Maybe she could fight back. 355 00:15:58,557 --> 00:16:01,526 We could work in some more nudity that way. 356 00:16:01,527 --> 00:16:02,660 What if the slut fights the killer 357 00:16:02,661 --> 00:16:05,763 and every orgasm she has makes her stronger. 358 00:16:05,764 --> 00:16:06,831 That's funny. 359 00:16:06,832 --> 00:16:09,100 I think we should at least try it. 360 00:16:09,101 --> 00:16:11,002 Well, you know what, John? I would try that, 361 00:16:11,003 --> 00:16:12,003 but i... I can't... I actually... 362 00:16:12,004 --> 00:16:13,938 I think that that's probably the worst fucking idea 363 00:16:13,939 --> 00:16:15,273 I've ever heard in my entire life, 364 00:16:15,274 --> 00:16:16,774 so I probably can't do that one. 365 00:16:16,775 --> 00:16:18,676 I like sluts. Why do they all have to die? 366 00:16:18,677 --> 00:16:21,112 I mean, nobody kills male sluts in movies. 367 00:16:21,113 --> 00:16:22,914 I like sluts, too. 368 00:16:22,915 --> 00:16:24,682 Who doesn't like sluts? 369 00:16:24,683 --> 00:16:25,817 Maybe one should live. 370 00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:27,919 Well... Linda, the thing is, you already approved 371 00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:29,887 - the draft that I wrote, so... - Who are you? 372 00:16:29,888 --> 00:16:31,689 I'm a development person. 373 00:16:31,690 --> 00:16:34,826 Well, yeah, she was my old assistant until recently 374 00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:35,860 I promoted her into development 375 00:16:35,861 --> 00:16:38,496 before I realized what an angry feminist she is. 376 00:16:38,497 --> 00:16:41,899 She's also a writer. Actually, a really good writer. 377 00:16:41,900 --> 00:16:43,067 Well, we all write. 378 00:16:43,068 --> 00:16:43,936 I want to be a writer. 379 00:16:43,937 --> 00:16:46,205 I'm... I'm the young assistant. 380 00:16:46,472 --> 00:16:47,605 - Peter's. - All right, 381 00:16:47,606 --> 00:16:49,173 well, you know, that's confusing, 382 00:16:49,174 --> 00:16:52,243 but I like this idea. I think we should explore it. 383 00:16:52,244 --> 00:16:55,580 - Yeah, Linda, but I think... - Peter, I gave you final cut. 384 00:16:55,581 --> 00:17:00,151 No studio's gonna offer you that. The slut lives. 385 00:17:00,152 --> 00:17:01,020 Old assistant person, 386 00:17:01,021 --> 00:17:04,455 I would like you and John to work on the next draft. 387 00:17:04,456 --> 00:17:06,558 Get it to me when you're done. 388 00:17:07,693 --> 00:17:09,794 Peter: Linda, if I could just... 389 00:17:09,795 --> 00:17:12,330 Linda: Yeah, I have an appointment in St. barts 390 00:17:12,331 --> 00:17:14,099 later today. 391 00:17:16,902 --> 00:17:20,004 Excuse me, but what the hell was that? 392 00:17:20,005 --> 00:17:21,639 Well, when we started working together, 393 00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:23,541 you said you liked my ideas. 394 00:17:23,542 --> 00:17:24,675 It embarrasses me to think 395 00:17:24,676 --> 00:17:27,311 about the idiotic films that you want to make. 396 00:17:27,312 --> 00:17:28,280 Thought it was a good idea. 397 00:17:28,281 --> 00:17:30,815 Better than a guy stabbing a girl in the ass. 398 00:17:30,816 --> 00:17:31,517 Sex and violence 399 00:17:31,518 --> 00:17:34,118 is a proven formula that makes a profit. 400 00:17:34,119 --> 00:17:35,887 Well, what about... 401 00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:37,622 Sex and happiness? 402 00:17:37,623 --> 00:17:39,424 You're embarrassing yourself! 403 00:17:39,425 --> 00:17:41,860 The... What are you talking about? 404 00:17:42,294 --> 00:17:44,263 I want to break up. 405 00:17:45,497 --> 00:17:47,065 Peter: What? Really? 406 00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:49,978 You want to break up with... With me? 407 00:17:50,002 --> 00:17:51,402 Do you have any idea 408 00:17:51,403 --> 00:17:54,372 how many girls want to sleep with me right now, 409 00:17:54,373 --> 00:17:56,184 huh? So many. 410 00:17:56,208 --> 00:17:57,475 I'm Peter Brock, okay? 411 00:17:57,476 --> 00:17:59,945 Well, why don't you go have sex with them? 412 00:18:00,412 --> 00:18:02,613 Yeah, maybe i... Maybe I will, okay? 413 00:18:02,614 --> 00:18:05,316 But, no, you know what? Actually... 414 00:18:05,317 --> 00:18:06,751 Rewind. I break up with you. 415 00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:09,087 Before what you said, I break up with you 416 00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:10,888 before you said you break up with me. 417 00:18:10,889 --> 00:18:12,591 It was my idea. 418 00:18:13,358 --> 00:18:14,792 Great idea. 419 00:18:14,793 --> 00:18:16,794 I'm Peter Brock. Look at this. 420 00:18:16,795 --> 00:18:19,864 Look at all... There's three posters here. 421 00:18:19,865 --> 00:18:20,532 More... i... 422 00:18:20,533 --> 00:18:23,469 There's some behind the door I didn't even hang up. 423 00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:26,472 You are my honey bunny. Come here. 424 00:18:27,005 --> 00:18:29,041 You are my honey bunny. 425 00:18:30,442 --> 00:18:31,877 Oh... 426 00:18:34,980 --> 00:18:36,658 Get me a coffee. 427 00:18:43,255 --> 00:18:46,090 Yeah, but he sounds like a wanker. 428 00:18:46,091 --> 00:18:46,925 Why work for him? 429 00:18:46,926 --> 00:18:48,826 Well, it's hard to find work in the movie business. 430 00:18:48,827 --> 00:18:51,362 - It's a man's world. - Yeah, 431 00:18:51,363 --> 00:18:53,798 well, yeah. Huh? 432 00:18:53,799 --> 00:18:55,167 Mm! 433 00:18:55,534 --> 00:18:57,602 Do you like eating with your hands? 434 00:18:57,603 --> 00:18:59,003 Um, I don't know. 435 00:18:59,004 --> 00:19:02,607 Mm. You know, you can just feel the food, you know? 436 00:19:02,608 --> 00:19:04,542 Sometimes I just want to eat like a dog. 437 00:19:04,543 --> 00:19:08,180 Yeah, I just want to put my face in there, yeah? 438 00:19:09,047 --> 00:19:10,482 Huh? 439 00:19:10,916 --> 00:19:13,285 Mm-mm! 440 00:19:15,387 --> 00:19:16,121 Come on, try it. 441 00:19:16,122 --> 00:19:17,321 Oh, it's so good. Give it a go. 442 00:19:17,322 --> 00:19:19,123 - Come on. - Oh, no, it's okay. 443 00:19:19,124 --> 00:19:21,126 Come on. You've got to try this. 444 00:19:21,793 --> 00:19:23,295 Come on. 445 00:19:25,097 --> 00:19:27,398 - Mm. Yum. - Yeah? Right? 446 00:19:27,399 --> 00:19:28,933 - Delicious. - Yeah. 447 00:19:28,934 --> 00:19:30,868 It's straight from the plate to your face. 448 00:19:30,869 --> 00:19:32,303 Wow, it's so much better this way. 449 00:19:32,304 --> 00:19:34,906 It is, absolutely. I'm gonna join you down here. 450 00:19:34,907 --> 00:19:37,208 Mm! Oh, it's so good! Mm! 451 00:19:37,209 --> 00:19:38,910 Candy: I love you. 452 00:19:38,911 --> 00:19:40,244 Man: I love you. 453 00:19:42,648 --> 00:19:44,316 You know I don't... 454 00:19:44,616 --> 00:19:45,950 Want a relationship, right? 455 00:19:45,951 --> 00:19:47,285 You knew that, though, right? 456 00:19:47,286 --> 00:19:48,986 - That's just... that's just... - Wait. 457 00:19:48,987 --> 00:19:52,123 Well, aren't we already actually having a relationship? 458 00:19:52,124 --> 00:19:53,724 - I mean... - I mean, if you wanna... 459 00:19:53,725 --> 00:19:54,926 we've been dating for two years 460 00:19:54,927 --> 00:19:56,127 and you just told me you loved me. 461 00:19:56,128 --> 00:20:00,765 Oh, yeah, well, you know, i... Yeah, I love you, you know, i... 462 00:20:00,766 --> 00:20:04,902 I love you as a sister, you know, as a friend, and... 463 00:20:04,903 --> 00:20:07,538 As... as a sexual partner, uh... 464 00:20:07,539 --> 00:20:10,174 As... as a fellow human being, you know? 465 00:20:10,175 --> 00:20:12,977 But I think we should just find a new and better way to... 466 00:20:12,978 --> 00:20:14,745 To do relationships. 467 00:20:14,746 --> 00:20:17,481 - You know? - Yeah. 468 00:20:18,550 --> 00:20:20,251 - Right? - Okay. 469 00:20:20,252 --> 00:20:23,354 Oh. Shit. Babe, I got to... I got to go, actually, 470 00:20:23,355 --> 00:20:27,391 'cause I have a... I just... I just got a crazy week. 471 00:20:27,392 --> 00:20:28,726 Oh, can I also, uh... 472 00:20:28,727 --> 00:20:33,541 Babe, can i... can I leave that, uh, my laundry here and, uh... 473 00:20:33,565 --> 00:20:35,410 Get it on Thursday? 474 00:20:35,434 --> 00:20:39,437 You want me to do your laundry while you date other women? 475 00:20:39,438 --> 00:20:42,073 That's... I mean, that would be really insensitive 476 00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:44,075 if we were in some old-fashioned, 477 00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:45,376 you know, closed-minded... 478 00:20:45,377 --> 00:20:47,311 Relationship, but since we're not, you know, 479 00:20:47,312 --> 00:20:49,814 we're... we're, uh, we're not confining ourselves 480 00:20:49,815 --> 00:20:51,749 to societal norms, then I think... 481 00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:54,085 I think it's fine. Yeah. 482 00:20:54,086 --> 00:20:55,797 All right. 483 00:20:55,821 --> 00:20:56,954 Bye. 484 00:21:04,463 --> 00:21:07,598 Hey. Um, me again. Listen, 485 00:21:07,599 --> 00:21:08,433 I was just gonna say 486 00:21:08,434 --> 00:21:12,136 why don't you just ignore those previous voicemails, okay? 487 00:21:12,137 --> 00:21:12,938 Because... 488 00:21:12,939 --> 00:21:15,840 Here's... here's the real truth, okay? 489 00:21:15,841 --> 00:21:17,509 Let's get honest. 490 00:21:17,609 --> 00:21:19,310 I am great. 491 00:21:19,311 --> 00:21:20,911 I'm great. I'm so great. 492 00:21:20,912 --> 00:21:25,616 And I'm super-happy for you and chandra. 493 00:21:25,617 --> 00:21:26,884 And here's the thing, 494 00:21:26,885 --> 00:21:29,186 I'm so happy! I'm so happy and I'm great. 495 00:21:29,187 --> 00:21:32,223 Like, if great were people, I'd be, like, fucking... 496 00:21:32,224 --> 00:21:33,758 Where is there a lot of people? India? 497 00:21:33,759 --> 00:21:39,164 Beijing? I'm fucking Beijing. That's how great I am. 498 00:21:39,564 --> 00:21:41,832 So I saved one of your messages that you left me, 499 00:21:41,833 --> 00:21:43,067 you know, right when you were, like, 500 00:21:43,068 --> 00:21:44,802 "hey, by the way, I'm fucking a 19-year-old." 501 00:21:44,803 --> 00:21:47,371 It's such a great message. It's so amazing. 502 00:21:47,372 --> 00:21:50,574 I'm so glad you told me things on a voicemail. 503 00:21:50,575 --> 00:21:51,575 You are so brave. 504 00:21:51,576 --> 00:21:53,878 And by "brave," I mean, like, 505 00:21:53,879 --> 00:21:54,912 you're a fucking idiot. 506 00:21:54,913 --> 00:21:55,881 I just wanted you to know that. 507 00:21:55,882 --> 00:21:57,882 I saved it, and I play it for my friends. 508 00:21:57,883 --> 00:21:59,383 And we laugh and laugh. 509 00:21:59,384 --> 00:22:02,120 And then I tell them about your weird dick. 510 00:22:02,254 --> 00:22:04,755 And I'm fucking naked. 511 00:22:04,756 --> 00:22:05,624 And I have on... 512 00:22:05,625 --> 00:22:08,225 I have on those... High-heel, like, 513 00:22:08,226 --> 00:22:10,294 fuck-me pumps that you love. 514 00:22:10,295 --> 00:22:12,330 Oh, yeah, I'm naked. 515 00:22:12,331 --> 00:22:13,597 Mm. You know what else? 516 00:22:13,598 --> 00:22:16,734 Remember that time you told me to squeeze your dick really hard 517 00:22:16,735 --> 00:22:18,169 at the base of it? 518 00:22:18,170 --> 00:22:20,304 I'm fucking doing that... 519 00:22:20,305 --> 00:22:23,475 And you don't... Yeah, and it's awesome. 520 00:22:25,010 --> 00:22:27,479 So, baby, call me. 521 00:22:30,916 --> 00:22:34,352 'Cause I could suck your cock. 522 00:22:34,353 --> 00:22:36,554 I really think you should come over, 523 00:22:36,555 --> 00:22:38,856 'cause I might do something bad to myself. 524 00:22:38,857 --> 00:22:42,426 Oh, my god, I might do something so bad, and then... 525 00:22:42,427 --> 00:22:43,594 I mean, I don't know what I would do, 526 00:22:43,595 --> 00:22:46,030 but it would be bad, and then you would feel guilty, 527 00:22:46,031 --> 00:22:48,332 like, for the rest of your life. 528 00:22:48,333 --> 00:22:49,533 So... 529 00:22:49,534 --> 00:22:53,572 I can't wait to hear from you. Okay. 530 00:22:53,739 --> 00:22:55,340 Bye! 531 00:23:03,749 --> 00:23:05,326 Wow. 532 00:23:05,350 --> 00:23:07,285 This is amazing. 533 00:23:17,996 --> 00:23:21,133 - Is this all your art? - Oh, yeah. 534 00:23:21,566 --> 00:23:22,800 See... 535 00:23:22,801 --> 00:23:26,347 Our society is sick, yeah? 536 00:23:26,371 --> 00:23:29,407 It's no wonder the earth is dying, 537 00:23:29,408 --> 00:23:33,177 'cause the culture sends its message, yeah? 538 00:23:33,178 --> 00:23:35,079 Join the rat race. Make money. 539 00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:36,847 Be a winner, otherwise you're nothing. 540 00:23:36,848 --> 00:23:40,351 It's read us weekly. Drink the kool-aid. 541 00:23:40,352 --> 00:23:41,719 Fuck that shit. 542 00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:45,600 I'm my own man. I mean, sure, got to make money. 543 00:23:45,624 --> 00:23:47,758 But I don't let them own me 544 00:23:47,759 --> 00:23:50,295 by seeking their approval, yeah? 545 00:23:51,062 --> 00:23:53,465 I'm free. 546 00:23:53,865 --> 00:23:56,067 Why I chose the name freedom. 547 00:23:56,168 --> 00:23:57,869 Okay. 548 00:24:03,508 --> 00:24:06,278 I don't go to exercise classes, you know? 549 00:24:06,912 --> 00:24:08,546 I do my own thing. 550 00:24:09,981 --> 00:24:11,749 Why follow the man? 551 00:24:11,750 --> 00:24:13,784 I create my own moves 552 00:24:13,785 --> 00:24:17,421 I don't need someone to give them to me. 553 00:24:17,422 --> 00:24:20,458 Well, yoga exercises are thousands of years old 554 00:24:20,459 --> 00:24:22,594 for a reason. They really work. 555 00:24:28,567 --> 00:24:31,603 Why don't you let the man out of you? 556 00:24:33,538 --> 00:24:35,841 Why don't you go your own way... 557 00:24:36,508 --> 00:24:39,344 Instead of trying to please people? 558 00:24:56,761 --> 00:24:59,331 Are you gonna keep doing those moves? 559 00:24:59,998 --> 00:25:01,500 Oh, yeah. 560 00:25:15,213 --> 00:25:17,549 Darren: Eva? 561 00:25:20,719 --> 00:25:22,086 Shit. 562 00:25:22,087 --> 00:25:23,755 Are you in there? 563 00:25:28,159 --> 00:25:29,661 Hi. 564 00:25:30,862 --> 00:25:31,696 Fuck-me pumps, huh? 565 00:25:31,697 --> 00:25:34,164 Eva: Uh, they're upstairs. You want me to get them? 566 00:25:34,165 --> 00:25:35,599 No. That's okay. 567 00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:37,368 I took them off 'cause they hurt my feet. 568 00:25:37,369 --> 00:25:39,905 - Mm-hmm. - You put on the sweats. 569 00:25:40,539 --> 00:25:42,873 I was worried, obviously. 570 00:25:42,874 --> 00:25:44,108 So many messages. 571 00:25:44,109 --> 00:25:45,043 You were worried about me? 572 00:25:45,044 --> 00:25:48,512 Well... 14 messages and some suicide threats. 573 00:25:48,513 --> 00:25:52,751 I never said suicide. I said, "maybe something bad." 574 00:25:53,418 --> 00:25:57,255 And that you would die alone. You're not gonna die alone. 575 00:25:57,622 --> 00:25:59,023 But if you do... 576 00:25:59,024 --> 00:26:01,526 It's because of doing things like this. 577 00:26:02,294 --> 00:26:04,295 You look really nice. 578 00:26:04,296 --> 00:26:05,829 Thank you. I'm gonna go. 579 00:26:05,830 --> 00:26:08,098 It's chandra's birthday. We're doing a thing. 580 00:26:08,099 --> 00:26:10,334 It's her birthday? 581 00:26:10,335 --> 00:26:12,436 Oh, wait, I have a question for you. 582 00:26:12,437 --> 00:26:15,039 - Mm-hmm. - Like, where was chandra... 583 00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:17,775 When I was putting you through art school? 584 00:26:17,776 --> 00:26:19,143 Oh, my god! That's right! 585 00:26:19,144 --> 00:26:20,244 Here comes the flood. 586 00:26:20,245 --> 00:26:21,278 - Oh, my god! - Here it is. 587 00:26:21,279 --> 00:26:23,180 - She was in kindergarten. Yay! - We are doing this. 588 00:26:23,181 --> 00:26:25,649 Well, guess what, Eva, I could never keep up with you, 589 00:26:25,650 --> 00:26:27,518 'cause all you ever cared about was money. 590 00:26:27,519 --> 00:26:29,019 You're a fucking liar, 591 00:26:29,020 --> 00:26:30,688 because I don't care about money. 592 00:26:30,689 --> 00:26:33,591 I put you through art school. You're just like... what? 593 00:26:33,592 --> 00:26:35,492 What do you even do for a living? 594 00:26:35,493 --> 00:26:36,461 You drive a douchebag car. 595 00:26:36,462 --> 00:26:38,729 I wanted a much douchier car than that. 596 00:26:38,730 --> 00:26:40,130 That was the one we could afford. 597 00:26:40,131 --> 00:26:42,132 I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. 598 00:26:42,133 --> 00:26:44,034 I don't like you right now. 599 00:26:44,035 --> 00:26:45,469 I love you... 600 00:26:45,470 --> 00:26:48,106 Somewhat. But right now... 601 00:26:48,373 --> 00:26:50,307 I don't think you would like you, either, 602 00:26:50,308 --> 00:26:52,320 'cause you're being horrible... 603 00:26:52,344 --> 00:26:53,878 And you look... 604 00:26:54,212 --> 00:26:54,879 Horrible. 605 00:26:54,880 --> 00:26:58,416 I just wanted to have a baby! 606 00:26:58,650 --> 00:27:00,251 Okay. Come here. 607 00:27:01,086 --> 00:27:03,253 Come here. Come here. 608 00:27:03,254 --> 00:27:04,388 - Hi. Hi. - Don't, don't, don't. 609 00:27:04,389 --> 00:27:06,857 No, don't make it a thing. Don't make it a thing. 610 00:27:06,858 --> 00:27:09,303 Oh, my god, you smell so weird. 611 00:27:09,327 --> 00:27:10,861 - You smell so good. - No, just don't. 612 00:27:10,862 --> 00:27:14,331 Don't humiliate yourself anymore than you have, okay? 613 00:27:14,332 --> 00:27:15,200 You smell like... 614 00:27:15,201 --> 00:27:17,835 - I don't know, like, lavender... - Okay. Just stop. Just stop. 615 00:27:17,836 --> 00:27:19,136 Don't embarrass yourself... 616 00:27:19,137 --> 00:27:21,805 - Anymore. - You don't embarrass yourself, 617 00:27:21,806 --> 00:27:23,507 buddy. You settle down. 618 00:27:23,508 --> 00:27:25,843 - What's happening down there? - Don't. Don't. 619 00:27:25,844 --> 00:27:27,979 - We're not. - Okay. 620 00:27:29,147 --> 00:27:31,882 Brew up some coffee. Don't. Please. 621 00:27:31,883 --> 00:27:35,119 I care very deeply about you without loving you. 622 00:27:35,120 --> 00:27:38,088 Throw up, go to sleep, take a shower. 623 00:27:38,089 --> 00:27:39,791 I already threw up. 624 00:27:41,526 --> 00:27:43,661 I love you so much. 625 00:27:43,662 --> 00:27:46,130 Bye. Thank you for coming! 626 00:27:53,405 --> 00:27:56,540 The only reason a man and a woman 627 00:27:56,541 --> 00:27:59,309 should have carnal knowledge of each other... 628 00:27:59,310 --> 00:28:00,978 Is to create a child. 629 00:28:02,514 --> 00:28:04,314 Any other physical union 630 00:28:04,315 --> 00:28:08,062 between a man and a woman... 631 00:28:08,086 --> 00:28:09,954 Is a sin. 632 00:28:13,091 --> 00:28:15,159 And sins are punishable 633 00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:17,861 by hellfire and damnation. 634 00:28:17,862 --> 00:28:18,730 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 635 00:28:18,731 --> 00:28:22,199 - You will go to hell! - Honey: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 636 00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:24,836 I'm sorry. 637 00:28:25,737 --> 00:28:27,272 You all right? 638 00:28:28,673 --> 00:28:31,910 - Did I just say that out loud? - Yeah. 639 00:28:33,812 --> 00:28:34,512 It felt so good. 640 00:28:34,513 --> 00:28:37,391 It felt like I was doing something wrong. 641 00:28:37,415 --> 00:28:38,916 I'm fucked up. 642 00:28:38,917 --> 00:28:40,951 I don't think you're fucked up. 643 00:28:40,952 --> 00:28:43,455 - You don't? - No. 644 00:28:44,022 --> 00:28:46,091 I think you're divine. 645 00:28:47,325 --> 00:28:49,260 Divinity itself... 646 00:28:49,394 --> 00:28:51,329 In a physical form. 647 00:28:51,730 --> 00:28:54,031 - Really? - Yeah. 648 00:29:09,447 --> 00:29:12,349 I thought I knew what sex and orgasms were before, 649 00:29:12,350 --> 00:29:13,118 but I did not. 650 00:29:13,119 --> 00:29:15,552 I feel like I understand the meaning of life now, 651 00:29:15,553 --> 00:29:17,287 and the meaning of life is to have as much sex 652 00:29:17,288 --> 00:29:21,225 as possible with this guy over and over again. 653 00:29:21,226 --> 00:29:23,060 Oh! Great sex! 654 00:29:23,061 --> 00:29:24,595 Oh, it makes you do stupid things. 655 00:29:24,596 --> 00:29:26,797 I feel like I tried to please the guy so much before 656 00:29:26,798 --> 00:29:29,801 that I never, like, really got off. 657 00:29:30,301 --> 00:29:31,869 Darren would just... 658 00:29:31,870 --> 00:29:34,938 Jam it in there without a lot of warm-up. 659 00:29:34,939 --> 00:29:36,507 And that was on the rare occasions 660 00:29:36,508 --> 00:29:38,910 that he could get it up. 661 00:29:39,177 --> 00:29:39,878 This is your ex? 662 00:29:39,879 --> 00:29:41,411 You know what? People say they want to hear the truth, 663 00:29:41,412 --> 00:29:44,581 but they don't. They just want to be, like, "oh, poor Eva. 664 00:29:44,582 --> 00:29:46,984 Did you hear Eva's husband cheated on her?" 665 00:29:46,985 --> 00:29:50,287 Here's the truth, I supported him financially 666 00:29:50,288 --> 00:29:51,288 for 14 years. 667 00:29:51,289 --> 00:29:53,657 That emasculated him. Oh, poor guy. 668 00:29:53,658 --> 00:29:56,126 So then he got erectile dysfunction. "Oh, wah" 669 00:29:56,127 --> 00:29:58,295 so then he had to go fuck a 21-year-old, 670 00:29:58,296 --> 00:30:01,065 so he could feel like a man again! 671 00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:04,535 He's not worthy of you, 'cause you're great. 672 00:30:04,536 --> 00:30:06,070 Yeah. 673 00:30:06,404 --> 00:30:07,571 Thank you. 674 00:30:07,572 --> 00:30:09,072 I feel like I have to do everything 675 00:30:09,073 --> 00:30:10,707 the guy says or he'll leave me. 676 00:30:10,708 --> 00:30:13,410 Like, I've been dating this guy for two years, 677 00:30:13,411 --> 00:30:15,879 pretending the entire time like I don't know 678 00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:16,714 he's dating other girls. 679 00:30:16,715 --> 00:30:18,916 You need to ask him for what you want. Just say, 680 00:30:18,917 --> 00:30:20,083 "I only want you to see me." 681 00:30:20,084 --> 00:30:22,386 Or date other men and flaunt them in front of him. 682 00:30:22,387 --> 00:30:23,687 Yeah, but I only want him. 683 00:30:23,688 --> 00:30:24,788 God, why are we sitting around 684 00:30:24,789 --> 00:30:26,456 talking about how sad our lives are? 685 00:30:26,457 --> 00:30:27,558 Why do women do that? 686 00:30:27,559 --> 00:30:29,827 You know, you're right. We should be talking about 687 00:30:29,828 --> 00:30:30,662 how great we are, 688 00:30:30,663 --> 00:30:33,163 and if someone gives us a compliment, we should say, 689 00:30:33,164 --> 00:30:36,433 "thank you. It's true." 690 00:30:36,434 --> 00:30:38,001 You start. 691 00:30:38,002 --> 00:30:38,603 What? 692 00:30:38,604 --> 00:30:40,504 - And give myself a compliment? - Honey: Yeah. 693 00:30:40,505 --> 00:30:42,173 Yeah, just do it. 694 00:30:42,807 --> 00:30:44,775 Okay. Um... 695 00:30:44,776 --> 00:30:47,010 I think I'm more attractive than I thought 696 00:30:47,011 --> 00:30:49,213 'cause... all right, well, there's this guy 697 00:30:49,214 --> 00:30:50,714 at the coffee cart on the beach. 698 00:30:50,715 --> 00:30:52,049 He asks me out all the time. 699 00:30:52,050 --> 00:30:54,985 He's super-attractive, and he's 28 700 00:30:54,986 --> 00:30:57,187 You should go for it. 701 00:30:57,188 --> 00:30:58,722 - No. - Yeah! 702 00:30:58,723 --> 00:31:02,860 Really? Move over. There's a new skank in town. 703 00:31:04,295 --> 00:31:05,329 I think I'm gonna tell my man 704 00:31:05,330 --> 00:31:07,665 that I'm not gonna do his laundry. 705 00:31:07,999 --> 00:31:08,800 So there! 706 00:31:08,801 --> 00:31:11,268 'Cause I am super hot, and he should feel lucky 707 00:31:11,269 --> 00:31:13,370 to tap that ass. So he better behave. 708 00:31:13,371 --> 00:31:14,972 Yeah. He should do your laundry. 709 00:31:14,973 --> 00:31:17,908 Yeah, you are so hot. Like, really hot. 710 00:31:17,909 --> 00:31:19,878 Thank you. It's true. 711 00:31:21,246 --> 00:31:22,690 Okay, your turn. 712 00:31:22,714 --> 00:31:24,181 Okay. 713 00:31:24,182 --> 00:31:25,482 I'm not a dirty slut. 714 00:31:25,483 --> 00:31:29,119 Having sex with me is a religious experience. 715 00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:30,454 Yeah, it is. 716 00:31:30,455 --> 00:31:34,459 - I want a new candle. - Oh, I brought the love candle. 717 00:31:37,395 --> 00:31:38,229 Honey. 718 00:31:38,230 --> 00:31:39,696 - Thank you. - Eva. 719 00:31:39,697 --> 00:31:41,265 So sweet. 720 00:31:41,266 --> 00:31:42,532 You know, we talk about pleasing men, 721 00:31:42,533 --> 00:31:45,369 but what about pleasing us? You know what we should say? 722 00:31:45,370 --> 00:31:47,405 "Get down there and lick it. 723 00:31:47,605 --> 00:31:48,605 Lick it." 724 00:31:48,606 --> 00:31:50,040 Lick it. 725 00:31:50,041 --> 00:31:53,378 Darren never licked it. I think I'm due. 726 00:31:53,478 --> 00:31:54,745 Lick it! 727 00:31:54,746 --> 00:31:56,313 I like it. 728 00:31:56,314 --> 00:31:57,715 Lick it. 729 00:32:04,789 --> 00:32:06,356 ♪ Sha-ba-lum ah-ooh ♪ 730 00:32:06,357 --> 00:32:08,392 I want to see freedom again. 731 00:32:08,393 --> 00:32:11,596 I want love and hot sex. 732 00:32:12,230 --> 00:32:20,230 ♪ Sha-ba-lum ah-ooh ♪ 733 00:32:22,808 --> 00:32:24,708 ♪ Sha-ba-lum ah-ooh ♪ 734 00:32:48,499 --> 00:32:50,734 I hope you don't think I'm easy. 735 00:32:50,735 --> 00:32:52,169 Why would I think you're easy? 736 00:32:52,170 --> 00:32:54,706 'Cause we had sex on the first date. 737 00:32:55,306 --> 00:32:56,940 I think it's weird not to have sex 738 00:32:56,941 --> 00:32:58,609 on the first date. 739 00:32:58,977 --> 00:32:59,911 Really? 740 00:32:59,912 --> 00:33:03,413 Hey, do you want to go back to my place and get stoned? 741 00:33:03,414 --> 00:33:04,282 - Uh-huh. - Yeah? 742 00:33:04,283 --> 00:33:09,620 ♪ Sha-ba-lum ah-ooh ♪ 743 00:33:10,955 --> 00:33:12,523 One second. 744 00:33:22,066 --> 00:33:25,102 - Want a hit? - I don't really smoke. 745 00:33:25,103 --> 00:33:27,704 - Oh, come on. Just one. - Okay. 746 00:33:32,176 --> 00:33:34,712 Yeah. 747 00:33:35,580 --> 00:33:37,147 You all right? 748 00:33:37,148 --> 00:33:37,949 Yeah. 749 00:33:37,950 --> 00:33:40,385 - You okay? - Mm-hm. Mm-hm. 750 00:33:43,488 --> 00:33:44,988 When we were together... 751 00:33:44,989 --> 00:33:47,858 Could you feel that energy going back... 752 00:33:47,859 --> 00:33:49,893 And forth between our souls? 753 00:33:49,894 --> 00:33:52,429 - It felt amazing. - Yeah. Yeah. 754 00:33:52,430 --> 00:33:55,232 I don't think we even need to talk, yeah? 755 00:33:55,233 --> 00:33:56,299 Can't you just... 756 00:33:56,300 --> 00:33:59,370 - Feel what I'm thinking? - Uh... 757 00:34:01,906 --> 00:34:03,617 I don't think so. 758 00:34:03,641 --> 00:34:05,643 I bet you can, yeah? 759 00:34:09,614 --> 00:34:11,416 Can you feel it now? 760 00:34:12,417 --> 00:34:16,020 - Couldn't you just tell me? - No, no, no. 761 00:34:22,493 --> 00:34:24,095 What about now? 762 00:34:28,433 --> 00:34:29,633 Now? 763 00:34:29,634 --> 00:34:32,570 I'm the most wonderful person you've ever met? 764 00:35:00,131 --> 00:35:08,131 ♪ All I could ever need is you and I ♪ 765 00:35:18,015 --> 00:35:21,985 ♪ And all I could ever want ♪ 766 00:35:21,986 --> 00:35:25,455 ♪ all I could ever see ♪ 767 00:35:25,456 --> 00:35:28,758 ♪ all I could ever want ♪ 768 00:35:28,759 --> 00:35:35,633 ♪ all I could ever need is you... ♪ 769 00:35:38,870 --> 00:35:42,206 ♪ Oh I choose ♪ 770 00:35:46,644 --> 00:35:50,247 ♪ and all I could ever want ♪ 771 00:35:50,248 --> 00:35:56,854 ♪ all I could ever need is you... ♪ 772 00:35:57,121 --> 00:35:59,991 Woman: You have never done anything wrong. 773 00:36:00,091 --> 00:36:03,628 Sex is sacred and beautiful. 774 00:36:04,595 --> 00:36:10,233 ♪ All I could ever need is you... ♪ 775 00:36:10,234 --> 00:36:14,437 What if all the sluts had mind-blowing orgasms? 776 00:36:14,438 --> 00:36:17,874 Only when they're empowered by their orgasms 777 00:36:17,875 --> 00:36:20,278 can they defeat the evil mutant. 778 00:36:21,312 --> 00:36:24,881 Empowered sluts. I like that. That's... that's provocative. 779 00:36:24,882 --> 00:36:27,985 You think we can get that past the ratings board? 780 00:36:28,686 --> 00:36:30,387 Hey, guys, uh, 781 00:36:30,388 --> 00:36:32,422 sorry, I just downloaded this new app. 782 00:36:32,423 --> 00:36:34,658 It detects shitty movie ideas, 783 00:36:34,659 --> 00:36:37,495 and it literally led me right here. 784 00:36:37,862 --> 00:36:38,895 Anyway... 785 00:36:38,896 --> 00:36:41,264 Let me know if you have any real movie ideas 786 00:36:41,265 --> 00:36:44,569 that we can turn into actual movies. 787 00:36:44,802 --> 00:36:47,038 Okay. Bye. 788 00:36:51,509 --> 00:36:53,076 Encouraging. 789 00:36:53,077 --> 00:36:54,411 Love that guy. 790 00:36:54,412 --> 00:36:56,513 Oh, I wanted to say, um, 791 00:36:56,514 --> 00:36:57,647 i... I read your script, 792 00:36:57,648 --> 00:37:01,084 uh, about the Afghan woman who fights for the right 793 00:37:01,085 --> 00:37:03,520 to divorce her husband. That was strong. 794 00:37:03,521 --> 00:37:04,754 How did you get a copy of that? 795 00:37:04,755 --> 00:37:07,657 I got connects. You know what I'm saying? 796 00:37:07,658 --> 00:37:08,892 - Whoa. - Actually, 797 00:37:08,893 --> 00:37:11,161 Peter wanted me to, uh, write coverage. 798 00:37:11,162 --> 00:37:13,129 Oh, I thought he read that one. 799 00:37:13,130 --> 00:37:14,664 Well, I don't know. He's a busy guy. 800 00:37:14,665 --> 00:37:18,068 But I really love the scene where afshan says, um, 801 00:37:18,069 --> 00:37:22,172 "this is my woman part to do with what I want." 802 00:37:22,173 --> 00:37:25,409 That was pretty intense. 803 00:37:25,843 --> 00:37:28,946 - You really liked it? - Yeah, it was powerful. 804 00:37:59,010 --> 00:38:01,279 I want love. 805 00:38:09,220 --> 00:38:10,553 And so mote it be. 806 00:38:10,554 --> 00:38:12,323 ♪ Ah-ooh ♪ 807 00:38:13,057 --> 00:38:14,825 ♪ ah-ooh ♪ 808 00:38:15,860 --> 00:38:17,260 Oh, thank you, honey. 809 00:38:17,261 --> 00:38:20,630 Hi, um, I'll just take a regular coffee, please. Um, 810 00:38:20,631 --> 00:38:24,200 I'm just looking for this guy. I think he works here. 811 00:38:24,201 --> 00:38:26,670 I don't know his name, but he's 28. 812 00:38:26,671 --> 00:38:29,739 I know, 28. I know. I know. I know what you're thinking. 813 00:38:29,740 --> 00:38:31,274 Do you know who I'm talking about? 814 00:38:31,275 --> 00:38:32,709 - Man: No. - No? 815 00:38:32,710 --> 00:38:33,678 Eva? 816 00:38:33,679 --> 00:38:35,278 - Mark! - Mark: Hi! 817 00:38:35,279 --> 00:38:36,680 Oh, my god. 818 00:38:36,681 --> 00:38:39,115 Oh, it's been so long. How are you? 819 00:38:39,116 --> 00:38:41,785 Good. I'm okay. Yeah. 820 00:38:41,786 --> 00:38:42,852 How's Darren? 821 00:38:42,853 --> 00:38:45,922 We got a divorce. He didn't tell you? 822 00:38:45,923 --> 00:38:48,626 Uh, yeah, I... I heard. 823 00:38:48,993 --> 00:38:50,960 - Sorry. - Yeah. 824 00:38:50,961 --> 00:38:53,798 Uh, Rebecca and I got divorced, too. 825 00:38:54,098 --> 00:38:55,398 I'm so sorry. 826 00:38:55,399 --> 00:38:58,011 No, actually, it's for the best. 827 00:38:58,035 --> 00:38:59,836 Plus we have two beautiful daughters, 828 00:38:59,837 --> 00:39:02,573 five and ten, so no regrets. 829 00:39:05,009 --> 00:39:06,543 - Don't you want to get a coffee? - Uh, 830 00:39:06,544 --> 00:39:09,212 yeah, yeah. That's what I'm here for. 831 00:39:09,213 --> 00:39:10,114 [Chuckles 832 00:39:10,115 --> 00:39:13,217 - what are you doing right now? - Uh... 833 00:39:13,684 --> 00:39:14,452 Nothing. 834 00:39:14,453 --> 00:39:17,220 You want to go for a walk, catch up a little? 835 00:39:17,221 --> 00:39:19,457 Yeah, I'd really like that. 836 00:39:19,890 --> 00:39:21,658 I was making dresses in my kitchen, 837 00:39:21,659 --> 00:39:24,594 and then just, boom! You know? 838 00:39:24,595 --> 00:39:26,230 That's amazing. 839 00:39:28,232 --> 00:39:30,500 I'm sorry to hear about your divorce. Uh... 840 00:39:30,501 --> 00:39:34,170 - I feel like such a failure. - Oh, don't say that. 841 00:39:34,171 --> 00:39:35,839 I just wish we would've had kids, 842 00:39:35,840 --> 00:39:38,108 you know, like you guys, but we were 843 00:39:38,109 --> 00:39:39,809 never on the same page with that. 844 00:39:39,810 --> 00:39:42,879 Eva, you are in no way a failure. 845 00:39:42,880 --> 00:39:47,084 You're a huge, huge success in every way. 846 00:39:49,787 --> 00:39:51,422 Wow. 847 00:39:53,524 --> 00:39:55,092 Stunning. 848 00:39:55,359 --> 00:39:57,962 Thank you. It's true. 849 00:39:59,196 --> 00:40:02,099 "Thank you. It's true." I like that. 850 00:40:03,934 --> 00:40:06,202 Did you know I left the law firm? 851 00:40:06,203 --> 00:40:07,203 No. 852 00:40:07,204 --> 00:40:09,205 Yeah, you know, grew the hair out, 853 00:40:09,206 --> 00:40:10,975 stopped shaving... 854 00:40:11,275 --> 00:40:12,909 Opened a restaurant. 855 00:40:12,910 --> 00:40:14,344 No way! 856 00:40:14,345 --> 00:40:16,346 Yeah. You always told me I should. 857 00:40:16,347 --> 00:40:17,914 Remember that night I made the panna cotta 858 00:40:17,915 --> 00:40:19,816 - with the aged balsamico? - Yes. 859 00:40:19,817 --> 00:40:22,819 I had, like, a food orgasm over that dessert. 860 00:40:22,820 --> 00:40:24,555 Yes, you did. 861 00:40:27,391 --> 00:40:29,193 Congratulations. 862 00:40:29,493 --> 00:40:30,894 You're amazing. 863 00:40:30,895 --> 00:40:32,430 Thank you. 864 00:40:32,596 --> 00:40:34,131 It's true. 865 00:40:36,200 --> 00:40:39,203 I feel a little lost in my life. 866 00:40:39,970 --> 00:40:41,871 - You know? - Okay. 867 00:40:41,872 --> 00:40:43,239 I don't know, like, 868 00:40:43,240 --> 00:40:44,175 why am I a success? 869 00:40:44,176 --> 00:40:46,977 I mean, is it because I make dresses? 870 00:40:48,179 --> 00:40:49,013 Um... 871 00:40:49,014 --> 00:40:51,481 Yeah, I suppose everybody would say that, 872 00:40:51,482 --> 00:40:53,984 but, uh, personally? 873 00:40:56,253 --> 00:40:59,123 You're just good to be around. 874 00:40:59,623 --> 00:41:02,793 I'm always happy when I'm near you. 875 00:41:03,594 --> 00:41:06,597 That is crazy-sweet. 876 00:41:07,631 --> 00:41:10,167 And you are crazy-beautiful. 877 00:41:10,568 --> 00:41:12,235 Oh, wait. 878 00:41:12,236 --> 00:41:14,705 Oh, my god! What... what? 879 00:41:18,843 --> 00:41:21,578 I've had a crush on you for 14 years. 880 00:41:21,579 --> 00:41:24,582 Really? Why? 881 00:41:24,849 --> 00:41:27,083 Wait, wait, wait. 882 00:41:27,084 --> 00:41:27,785 What... what, uh, 883 00:41:27,786 --> 00:41:29,986 what are we do... What are we doing? Because i... 884 00:41:29,987 --> 00:41:31,354 I haven't been with anyone 885 00:41:31,355 --> 00:41:32,689 - since my husband... - Shh. 886 00:41:32,690 --> 00:41:36,026 Um... I would like to keep my clothes on. 887 00:41:36,360 --> 00:41:37,927 If you just... 888 00:41:37,928 --> 00:41:39,762 Uh... god, you're... 889 00:41:39,763 --> 00:41:41,164 Um... oh, my god! Wait! 890 00:41:41,165 --> 00:41:44,634 Wait a second! That's... Oh, my god! 891 00:41:44,635 --> 00:41:47,403 Oh, my god! You're so good at this! 892 00:41:47,404 --> 00:41:49,038 I've wanted to do this since I met you. 893 00:41:49,039 --> 00:41:51,374 That's what you were thinking the whole time... 894 00:41:51,375 --> 00:41:54,143 When we met at Walmart? Are you kidding me? 895 00:41:54,144 --> 00:41:55,612 - Mm. - That's kind of weird. 896 00:41:55,613 --> 00:41:58,781 Thank you for telling me, 'cause I was, like, thinking, 897 00:41:58,782 --> 00:42:00,984 "oh, nice guy at Walmart. 898 00:42:00,985 --> 00:42:04,020 He... he buys, like, stuff in bulk. I get it." 899 00:42:04,021 --> 00:42:07,323 Oh. Uh... oh, my god. Oh, god. 900 00:42:07,324 --> 00:42:09,392 Oh, god. And I then was, like, 901 00:42:09,393 --> 00:42:10,627 "hey, you drive a prius. 902 00:42:10,628 --> 00:42:13,329 And that's cool. You know, cool person." 903 00:42:13,330 --> 00:42:14,131 Hey, what... what... 904 00:42:14,132 --> 00:42:17,433 Just slow down on that bottom part. Oh, my god. 905 00:42:17,434 --> 00:42:18,668 Shut up. I'm gonna stop talking now. 906 00:42:18,669 --> 00:42:23,007 I'm not gonna talk anymore. I'm not gonna talk anymore. 907 00:42:25,242 --> 00:42:26,876 You're, like, really good at this. 908 00:42:26,877 --> 00:42:29,045 Oh, god. Wait, I didn't groom. I didn't groom! 909 00:42:29,046 --> 00:42:31,180 Ah! Okay, okay, no, actually, I'm okay with that. 910 00:42:31,181 --> 00:42:34,350 I'm okay with it. Never mind. Don't listen to me. Don't stop. 911 00:42:34,351 --> 00:42:36,719 Don't stop. 912 00:42:42,993 --> 00:42:44,728 I want love. 913 00:42:53,637 --> 00:42:54,771 Babe? 914 00:42:54,772 --> 00:42:57,473 Do you have, uh, that bag? I'm doing that lecture 915 00:42:57,474 --> 00:43:00,276 on techno-social wormholes downtown, and they're, uh... 916 00:43:00,277 --> 00:43:02,478 They're gonna put it on YouTube. 917 00:43:02,479 --> 00:43:04,248 Isn't that great? 918 00:43:05,583 --> 00:43:08,161 I didn't have time to do your laundry. 919 00:43:08,185 --> 00:43:09,653 And... 920 00:43:11,155 --> 00:43:14,658 If you want to be with me, you can't date anybody else. 921 00:43:15,392 --> 00:43:17,360 Have you noticed that I'm great? 922 00:43:17,361 --> 00:43:18,728 'Cause you don't treat me that way. 923 00:43:18,729 --> 00:43:21,497 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where's all this coming from? 924 00:43:21,498 --> 00:43:22,532 It's coming from me. 925 00:43:22,533 --> 00:43:26,203 But you were fine with everything a few days ago. 926 00:43:26,537 --> 00:43:28,004 I take care of you. 927 00:43:28,005 --> 00:43:29,539 When are you gonna take care of me? 928 00:43:29,540 --> 00:43:32,542 Relationships are hard for me. My parents got divorced. 929 00:43:32,543 --> 00:43:33,477 Oh, god! Stop it! 930 00:43:33,478 --> 00:43:36,813 Stop using that as an excuse for everything! 931 00:43:36,814 --> 00:43:39,950 My family was fucked up, too! Let it go! 932 00:43:40,150 --> 00:43:43,920 I don't really like your tone of voice right now, honestly. 933 00:43:43,921 --> 00:43:45,855 You need to figure that out. 934 00:43:45,856 --> 00:43:49,627 Uh, well, those don't look very clean to me. 935 00:43:50,327 --> 00:43:51,762 No. 936 00:43:52,062 --> 00:43:54,031 They're very dirty. 937 00:43:54,264 --> 00:43:56,266 - What? - Yeah. 938 00:43:56,734 --> 00:43:57,767 Extremely dirty. 939 00:43:57,768 --> 00:44:00,203 - And smelly! - Babe, seriously? 940 00:44:00,204 --> 00:44:01,270 You know, you're gonna... 941 00:44:01,271 --> 00:44:02,705 You're gonna regret this tomorrow. 942 00:44:02,706 --> 00:44:05,475 And... and when you do, you can call me, okay? 943 00:44:05,476 --> 00:44:10,146 When you are ready to treat me like the amazing person I am, 944 00:44:10,147 --> 00:44:13,317 you call me! I won't be calling you. 945 00:44:14,284 --> 00:44:15,785 Take that! 946 00:44:15,786 --> 00:44:18,187 I was gonna wear this. I was gonna wear this. 947 00:44:18,188 --> 00:44:21,557 Now it's even more dirty. It's more dirty now. 948 00:44:21,558 --> 00:44:23,193 Pussy! 949 00:44:26,530 --> 00:44:29,967 And, uh, where am I gonna clean these? 950 00:44:30,567 --> 00:44:32,269 Do you have a place? 951 00:44:32,569 --> 00:44:36,005 Okay, you know what? Thank you. Thank you. That's great. 952 00:44:36,006 --> 00:44:37,507 Okay, we'll... we'll talk. 953 00:44:37,508 --> 00:44:39,609 The guy shows her the beauty of her own soul 954 00:44:39,610 --> 00:44:43,312 through sexuality, and then she defeats the killer. 955 00:44:43,313 --> 00:44:44,614 Hmm. Well, I'm not sure 956 00:44:44,615 --> 00:44:46,282 how to fit that into a teenage slasher film, 957 00:44:46,283 --> 00:44:49,853 but I like the challenge. I'm gonna get cracking on it. 958 00:44:50,054 --> 00:44:52,255 Peter: Don't shoot the dinosaur. He's on your side. 959 00:44:52,256 --> 00:44:53,090 What are you guys doing? 960 00:44:53,091 --> 00:44:54,891 We're working on a video game based on the film. 961 00:44:54,892 --> 00:44:57,860 Yeah, it's really gonna boost our profits on this one. 962 00:44:57,861 --> 00:45:00,763 Peter came up with it all by himself. 963 00:45:00,764 --> 00:45:03,132 The goal of the game is to build up your empire... 964 00:45:03,133 --> 00:45:05,034 - This is my idea. - And kill as many sluts 965 00:45:05,035 --> 00:45:06,569 and douchebags that get in your way. 966 00:45:06,570 --> 00:45:07,371 That's is my idea. 967 00:45:07,372 --> 00:45:08,538 Once you reach the higher levels, 968 00:45:08,539 --> 00:45:09,806 - you'll meet a virgin... - This is my idea. 969 00:45:09,807 --> 00:45:11,441 - With special powers. - My idea. My idea. 970 00:45:11,442 --> 00:45:13,042 Every time you see a slut, 971 00:45:13,043 --> 00:45:14,444 - you can kill her... - That's my idea. 972 00:45:14,445 --> 00:45:15,578 - And get the points. - My idea. 973 00:45:15,579 --> 00:45:18,081 Sometimes I like to shoot her in the boobs or crotch area. 974 00:45:18,082 --> 00:45:20,049 The last one was his idea. 975 00:45:20,050 --> 00:45:25,189 Boom! That slut went down! 976 00:45:26,323 --> 00:45:28,324 So what do you think? 977 00:45:28,325 --> 00:45:29,459 I think it's really disturbing 978 00:45:29,460 --> 00:45:31,928 and it makes me want to, like, vomit in my mouth. 979 00:45:31,929 --> 00:45:33,996 Hey, man, I need you to go through the video game 980 00:45:33,997 --> 00:45:35,231 and make sure that all of the girls, 981 00:45:35,232 --> 00:45:36,966 under their shirts, you can see their erect nipples. 982 00:45:36,967 --> 00:45:39,669 - I need you to do that for me. - Great idea! 983 00:45:39,670 --> 00:45:40,337 So smart. 984 00:45:40,338 --> 00:45:42,338 Look, the script that John and I are writing 985 00:45:42,339 --> 00:45:43,539 is a totally different story. 986 00:45:43,540 --> 00:45:45,274 Yeah, I know, and thank god it's a different story, 987 00:45:45,275 --> 00:45:48,678 because your script sucked shit, and this video game 988 00:45:48,679 --> 00:45:49,646 is going to sell like Molly 989 00:45:49,647 --> 00:45:52,014 to a girl that doesn't talk to her parents that much, okay? 990 00:45:52,015 --> 00:45:53,549 I need you to be on nipple supervision, all right? 991 00:45:53,550 --> 00:45:55,351 You got to go through the video game and make sure 992 00:45:55,352 --> 00:45:57,386 that every girl's nipples are erect, okay? 993 00:45:57,387 --> 00:45:58,988 We're gonna go for the only demographic 994 00:45:58,989 --> 00:46:00,623 that matters, and that's teenage boys. 995 00:46:00,624 --> 00:46:02,492 Well, that's ridiculous because John and I 996 00:46:02,493 --> 00:46:03,860 are writing a great script. 997 00:46:03,861 --> 00:46:05,661 I'm sorry. That app is going off that I downloaded. 998 00:46:05,662 --> 00:46:07,563 It keeps going off when people say stupid shit. 999 00:46:07,564 --> 00:46:08,898 Uh, let me fix this. Turn it off. 1000 00:46:08,899 --> 00:46:12,702 You want to know what men really get off on? 1001 00:46:12,703 --> 00:46:13,803 No. 1002 00:46:13,804 --> 00:46:14,904 The conquest, okay? 1003 00:46:14,905 --> 00:46:16,939 Look, I'm a hunter. We're hunters. We're men. 1004 00:46:16,940 --> 00:46:20,409 I'm a man. I'm a hunter, okay? I hunted you. I got you. 1005 00:46:20,410 --> 00:46:21,911 I found you. I kept you for a little bit, 1006 00:46:21,912 --> 00:46:24,714 and then I got bored, and then you left and now I'm... 1007 00:46:24,715 --> 00:46:27,750 I'm attracted to you again, you know? That's what works. 1008 00:46:27,751 --> 00:46:28,818 The plan worked, okay? 1009 00:46:28,819 --> 00:46:32,021 So let's just go have sex in my office. 1010 00:46:32,022 --> 00:46:33,457 No. 1011 00:46:33,824 --> 00:46:35,726 Everything you have is... 1012 00:46:36,660 --> 00:46:40,029 Turn your fucking head. What's your... what's your name? 1013 00:46:40,030 --> 00:46:40,697 Demarcus. 1014 00:46:40,698 --> 00:46:41,931 You're the whitest guy in the world, 1015 00:46:41,932 --> 00:46:46,270 and his name's fucking Demarcus. Hey, I'm Deshawn. 1016 00:46:46,570 --> 00:46:47,137 Anyway, 1017 00:46:47,138 --> 00:46:51,440 every... everything you have is because of me. 1018 00:46:51,441 --> 00:46:53,476 But I want to be a writer. 1019 00:46:53,477 --> 00:46:54,710 Can you just make sure you supervise 1020 00:46:54,711 --> 00:46:56,712 all the nipples, please? That's what I need from you. 1021 00:46:56,713 --> 00:47:00,117 That is, if you want to get a paycheck, big boobs. 1022 00:47:04,489 --> 00:47:07,457 "I want to be a writer." 1023 00:47:08,325 --> 00:47:11,427 Mark was down there for so long. 1024 00:47:11,428 --> 00:47:13,329 I wonder what he was thinking about. 1025 00:47:13,330 --> 00:47:16,132 He was thinking: Yum, yum! 1026 00:47:16,133 --> 00:47:18,000 I feel like guys who won't go down on you 1027 00:47:18,001 --> 00:47:18,902 aren't hetero enough. 1028 00:47:18,903 --> 00:47:20,837 I mean, what would they rather be doing, 1029 00:47:20,838 --> 00:47:22,515 sucking a cock? 1030 00:47:22,539 --> 00:47:23,373 This guy sounds amazing. 1031 00:47:23,374 --> 00:47:24,907 You can totally tell the difference between a guy 1032 00:47:24,908 --> 00:47:26,609 who's into it and a guy who's not. 1033 00:47:26,610 --> 00:47:28,778 I didn't even know that I liked it that much, 1034 00:47:28,779 --> 00:47:32,182 but I haven't had sex with a lot of people. 1035 00:47:32,382 --> 00:47:33,350 It's good if a guy's good at it. 1036 00:47:33,351 --> 00:47:36,786 Otherwise, it's like sandpaper rubbing against your clitoris 1037 00:47:36,787 --> 00:47:38,754 while you lay in a pool of saliva. 1038 00:47:38,755 --> 00:47:40,056 - Ah! - Oh! 1039 00:47:40,057 --> 00:47:41,624 Well, this guy was great at it. 1040 00:47:41,625 --> 00:47:43,726 I think he could write an instruction manual 1041 00:47:43,727 --> 00:47:45,061 - on tonguemanship. - Wow! 1042 00:47:45,062 --> 00:47:47,964 - Did you have sex? - I had great sex. 1043 00:47:47,965 --> 00:47:49,932 I had the best sex of my life. 1044 00:47:49,933 --> 00:47:52,368 You guys both had great sex and I got nothing. 1045 00:47:52,369 --> 00:47:53,303 Are you going out again? 1046 00:47:53,304 --> 00:47:54,871 I don't know. What's the point? 1047 00:47:54,872 --> 00:47:57,006 - Getting head! - The best sex of your life. 1048 00:47:57,007 --> 00:47:59,342 I can't. I just look better with clothes on. 1049 00:47:59,343 --> 00:48:01,277 I don't want him to see me naked. 1050 00:48:01,278 --> 00:48:03,012 But you let him lick your naked vagina. 1051 00:48:03,013 --> 00:48:05,081 I know, but that was just one tiny section 1052 00:48:05,082 --> 00:48:07,917 down there. And... and I had clothes on. 1053 00:48:07,918 --> 00:48:09,852 Plus, I work with models all day at work, 1054 00:48:09,853 --> 00:48:11,120 and they're in such great shape. 1055 00:48:11,121 --> 00:48:13,623 Just... I look like crap compared to them. 1056 00:48:13,624 --> 00:48:15,025 You are hot! 1057 00:48:15,492 --> 00:48:16,592 I don't know. 1058 00:48:16,593 --> 00:48:18,227 Maybe he's too nice. 1059 00:48:18,228 --> 00:48:20,129 I'd take nice over mean any day. 1060 00:48:20,130 --> 00:48:22,766 Yeah, or commitment-phobic. 1061 00:48:23,400 --> 00:48:26,235 Let's make a pact to be with good guys only. 1062 00:48:26,236 --> 00:48:29,439 Guys who treat us great, like we deserve. 1063 00:48:29,539 --> 00:48:31,575 Yeah, good-guy pact. 1064 00:48:31,975 --> 00:48:33,542 Mark is so handsome. 1065 00:48:33,543 --> 00:48:35,444 There must be something wrong with him. 1066 00:48:35,445 --> 00:48:37,380 Or maybe I just don't know how to be with someone 1067 00:48:37,381 --> 00:48:40,116 who's so sexually giving, which means I like jerks, 1068 00:48:40,117 --> 00:48:42,785 which also means I can't be in the good-guy pact. 1069 00:48:42,786 --> 00:48:45,087 I'm gonna light a candle for you and Mark. 1070 00:48:45,088 --> 00:48:46,956 Me, too. Okay. 1071 00:48:46,957 --> 00:48:48,491 Don't forget the pact. 1072 00:48:48,492 --> 00:48:49,326 Good guys only. 1073 00:48:49,327 --> 00:48:51,360 - Good guys only. - Good guys only. 1074 00:48:51,361 --> 00:48:53,062 - Maybe sometimes a jerk? - No. 1075 00:48:53,063 --> 00:48:54,897 - No. - No? Jerk sex? 1076 00:48:54,898 --> 00:48:57,034 - No jerk sex. - Aw. 1077 00:49:07,177 --> 00:49:07,978 Oh, hey. 1078 00:49:07,979 --> 00:49:10,646 Um, thank you for sending me your script, 1079 00:49:10,647 --> 00:49:13,916 the red flow. I... I thought it was hilarious. 1080 00:49:13,917 --> 00:49:15,952 - You read it? - I loved it. 1081 00:49:15,953 --> 00:49:16,953 Yeah, but will it ever be made? 1082 00:49:16,954 --> 00:49:19,923 A movie about a girl getting her period. 1083 00:49:20,357 --> 00:49:21,191 Why not? 1084 00:49:21,192 --> 00:49:23,225 You know, I really want to write a script 1085 00:49:23,226 --> 00:49:24,393 about my new friends. They're, like, 1086 00:49:24,394 --> 00:49:27,163 these modern-day witches. They're really inspiring. 1087 00:49:27,164 --> 00:49:29,466 Yes, witches, girl power. 1088 00:49:29,833 --> 00:49:31,301 Do it. 1089 00:49:31,935 --> 00:49:33,102 Have you heard about this video game 1090 00:49:33,103 --> 00:49:35,204 that Peter is doing? It is so vile. 1091 00:49:35,205 --> 00:49:36,305 Yeah, I heard about it. 1092 00:49:36,306 --> 00:49:37,807 I wish I could destroy the computers 1093 00:49:37,808 --> 00:49:41,644 or make my own video game called sluts fight back. 1094 00:49:41,645 --> 00:49:44,347 I love that. "Sluts fight back." 1095 00:49:44,348 --> 00:49:45,982 If I was technological, I'd just put a virus 1096 00:49:45,983 --> 00:49:48,851 in the whole system and I would shut it down. 1097 00:49:48,852 --> 00:49:50,320 Well... 1098 00:49:51,688 --> 00:49:54,090 Well, it's funny that you say that, 1099 00:49:54,091 --> 00:49:56,592 'cause I happen to be technological. 1100 00:50:09,272 --> 00:50:10,606 What are you doing? 1101 00:50:10,607 --> 00:50:13,442 Technological stuff. 1102 00:50:13,443 --> 00:50:15,778 We could be fired. 1103 00:50:15,779 --> 00:50:18,114 Not if no one finds out. 1104 00:50:28,492 --> 00:50:31,027 God. 1105 00:50:31,028 --> 00:50:32,161 - You're a genius. - Yeah, 1106 00:50:32,162 --> 00:50:33,629 you know what? I am a freaking genius. 1107 00:50:33,630 --> 00:50:35,732 That was awesome. 1108 00:50:36,033 --> 00:50:37,867 It was so awesome. 1109 00:50:37,868 --> 00:50:39,935 What are you doing now? You wanna... you wanna 1110 00:50:39,936 --> 00:50:43,116 - grab something to eat? - Oh, I have plans. 1111 00:50:43,140 --> 00:50:44,440 This may or may not change your mind, 1112 00:50:44,441 --> 00:50:47,910 but aside from being a genius and a technological wizard, 1113 00:50:47,911 --> 00:50:50,147 I am also, um... 1114 00:50:50,280 --> 00:50:51,580 A really great rapper. 1115 00:50:51,581 --> 00:50:53,449 - Really? - Yeah, I'd love to show you 1116 00:50:53,450 --> 00:50:54,884 some of my hip-hop stuff. 1117 00:50:54,885 --> 00:50:56,752 - Okay. - You ready for this? 1118 00:50:56,753 --> 00:50:57,820 - Yeah. - You sure? 1119 00:50:57,821 --> 00:50:59,756 - Uh, I think so. - Mm-hmm. 1120 00:51:00,023 --> 00:51:01,425 Um... 1121 00:51:01,525 --> 00:51:03,659 ♪ You so ambitious ♪ 1122 00:51:03,660 --> 00:51:06,328 ♪ your soul is sweet and superstitious ♪ 1123 00:51:06,329 --> 00:51:09,399 ♪ your eyes your lip your heart ♪ 1124 00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:14,070 ♪ they're breakin' records and the dishes ♪ 1125 00:51:14,071 --> 00:51:16,338 ♪ mm-mm mm-mm ♪ 1126 00:51:16,339 --> 00:51:19,175 ♪ mm-mm-mm chicka-chicka ♪ 1127 00:51:19,176 --> 00:51:20,876 ♪ mm-mm mm-mm ♪ 1128 00:51:20,877 --> 00:51:22,845 This goes on for, like, four minutes. 1129 00:51:22,846 --> 00:51:23,979 Wow. 1130 00:51:23,980 --> 00:51:26,148 - Don't give up your day job. - Come on! 1131 00:51:26,149 --> 00:51:28,451 - No, it was great. I loved it. - I just wanted to do it. 1132 00:51:28,452 --> 00:51:29,685 - That was brave. - I had an instinct. 1133 00:51:29,686 --> 00:51:32,354 Yeah, anyway, you got the technology smarts. 1134 00:51:32,355 --> 00:51:33,556 - Thanks, yo. - Word to your mother. 1135 00:51:33,557 --> 00:51:35,758 Word to your mother. Tell your mother I said word. 1136 00:51:35,759 --> 00:51:38,194 - See you Monday. - Bye. 1137 00:51:45,268 --> 00:51:47,470 Honey: Thanks for giving me this dress. 1138 00:51:47,471 --> 00:51:48,338 Candy: Ditto. 1139 00:51:48,339 --> 00:51:50,072 Oh, god. Okay, okay, I don't know. 1140 00:51:50,073 --> 00:51:51,140 Maybe we shouldn't go. 1141 00:51:51,141 --> 00:51:52,775 - How do I look? - Candy: You look hot! 1142 00:51:52,776 --> 00:51:54,310 You look so hot I want to have sex with you. 1143 00:51:54,311 --> 00:51:57,513 Eva: Okay, no, I just... oh! Would you guys stop it? 1144 00:51:57,514 --> 00:51:58,747 - Stop it! - I really wanna 1145 00:51:58,748 --> 00:52:00,282 - have sex with you. - Oh, my god, 1146 00:52:00,283 --> 00:52:01,350 you guys are weird. 1147 00:52:01,351 --> 00:52:04,420 Okay, come on. I can't do this alone. Come on. 1148 00:52:06,623 --> 00:52:08,090 Woman: Great show. 1149 00:52:08,091 --> 00:52:10,226 Honey: Does Darren have a daughter? 1150 00:52:10,227 --> 00:52:12,661 No, that's his new girlfriend. 1151 00:52:15,732 --> 00:52:17,167 Oh. 1152 00:52:17,501 --> 00:52:20,069 Oh! 1153 00:52:20,070 --> 00:52:22,571 Holy shit! 1154 00:52:22,572 --> 00:52:26,376 - Honey: Is that you? - Eva: Holy shit! 1155 00:52:26,576 --> 00:52:28,187 Is that me? 1156 00:52:28,211 --> 00:52:29,378 Oh, my god. 1157 00:52:29,379 --> 00:52:34,216 Not entirely accurate, okay? It's not 1984 down there. 1158 00:52:34,217 --> 00:52:36,585 Oh, I prefer a full bush. 1159 00:52:36,586 --> 00:52:37,653 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 1160 00:52:37,654 --> 00:52:40,624 - Hey. Hi. - Hi! 1161 00:52:40,757 --> 00:52:41,558 Oh. 1162 00:52:41,559 --> 00:52:44,026 - I'm so glad you made it. - Congratulations. 1163 00:52:44,027 --> 00:52:46,428 Thanks. Thanks. Everybody's here. 1164 00:52:46,429 --> 00:52:47,830 - Times is here. - Oh. 1165 00:52:47,831 --> 00:52:49,398 L.A. weekly. Yeah. 1166 00:52:49,399 --> 00:52:50,866 - Wow, well. - Yeah. 1167 00:52:50,867 --> 00:52:53,269 Your new art is really amazing, 1168 00:52:53,270 --> 00:52:55,982 - and interesting. - I know. I know. 1169 00:52:56,006 --> 00:52:58,140 Eva: There's... There's a lot happening... 1170 00:52:58,141 --> 00:53:00,342 - It's powerful stuff. - With all of it. 1171 00:53:00,343 --> 00:53:02,945 I didn't get your smile exactly right, but, 1172 00:53:02,946 --> 00:53:05,347 eh, it's still great. 1173 00:53:05,348 --> 00:53:08,050 Hey. Let's have dinner on Saturday, huh? 1174 00:53:08,051 --> 00:53:09,185 - Really? - Yeah. 1175 00:53:09,186 --> 00:53:10,252 - Okay. - Great. 1176 00:53:10,253 --> 00:53:11,620 - Great. - Cool. Text you. 1177 00:53:11,621 --> 00:53:12,755 - Okay. - Okay. 1178 00:53:12,756 --> 00:53:14,423 Yeah, I got to go talk to some people. 1179 00:53:14,424 --> 00:53:16,659 Oh, okay, sure. You're busy. 1180 00:53:16,660 --> 00:53:19,062 Why is he wearing that weird hat? 1181 00:53:21,131 --> 00:53:22,298 I don't know. 1182 00:53:31,308 --> 00:53:33,008 Somebody fucked with our system! 1183 00:53:33,009 --> 00:53:34,944 I can't get this image off the screen! 1184 00:53:34,945 --> 00:53:36,478 I thought we were on a closed network! 1185 00:53:36,479 --> 00:53:38,581 Someone hacked into the program! 1186 00:53:38,582 --> 00:53:39,949 Someone with a password! 1187 00:53:39,950 --> 00:53:43,352 Uh, Peter, not to point fingers or anything... 1188 00:53:43,353 --> 00:53:45,354 Yeah, okay, look, I'm way ahead of you. 1189 00:53:45,355 --> 00:53:46,889 You're not a fucking detective, all right? 1190 00:53:46,890 --> 00:53:48,857 - Did you do this? - I can't even figure out 1191 00:53:48,858 --> 00:53:50,159 how to download the software updates 1192 00:53:50,160 --> 00:53:51,460 - on my computer. - That's true. 1193 00:53:51,461 --> 00:53:53,696 She can't fucking download the software updates 1194 00:53:53,697 --> 00:53:54,397 on her computer. 1195 00:53:54,398 --> 00:53:56,031 - What's your name? Darrell? - Demarcus. 1196 00:53:56,032 --> 00:53:58,867 - Demarcus, you're fired, dude. - Come on, man! 1197 00:53:58,868 --> 00:54:00,869 You're fired, and I'm gonna get a new nerd 1198 00:54:00,870 --> 00:54:02,972 to make this system that you can't fuck with it. 1199 00:54:02,973 --> 00:54:04,940 Hey, you're the guy who has "password" 1200 00:54:04,941 --> 00:54:05,909 as his password, man. 1201 00:54:05,910 --> 00:54:08,210 Well, why don't you fucking broadcast it on Twitter, man? 1202 00:54:08,211 --> 00:54:09,878 You're not supposed to tell people my password. 1203 00:54:09,879 --> 00:54:12,248 - I have to change it. - I can do the password. 1204 00:54:12,249 --> 00:54:14,316 You don't need to do it. I'll do it. 1205 00:54:14,317 --> 00:54:16,452 I'm gonna change it. Shit! 1206 00:54:16,453 --> 00:54:18,187 Oh, come on, man. 1207 00:54:18,188 --> 00:54:19,688 That sucks. 1208 00:54:19,689 --> 00:54:21,391 See you guys later. 1209 00:54:29,799 --> 00:54:31,401 Babe? 1210 00:54:32,035 --> 00:54:35,171 You... you haven't returned any of my calls. 1211 00:54:35,338 --> 00:54:37,941 I've been thinking about what you said. 1212 00:54:39,175 --> 00:54:41,077 Can you please let me in? 1213 00:54:41,344 --> 00:54:44,647 - I really need to talk to you. - What do you want? 1214 00:54:44,648 --> 00:54:46,982 Can you... Can you please let me in? 1215 00:54:46,983 --> 00:54:48,752 Tell me what you want. 1216 00:54:49,886 --> 00:54:51,321 Please? 1217 00:54:53,824 --> 00:54:55,824 Look, i... I don't know. I... 1218 00:54:55,825 --> 00:54:58,061 This is really hard for me to say. 1219 00:54:58,161 --> 00:54:59,896 What? 1220 00:55:00,363 --> 00:55:03,833 I really liked how you bossed me around. 1221 00:55:04,434 --> 00:55:07,304 You know, I didn't think I would, but... 1222 00:55:07,504 --> 00:55:08,972 It... 1223 00:55:09,105 --> 00:55:11,074 Kind of turned me on. 1224 00:55:11,441 --> 00:55:12,641 Are you serious? 1225 00:55:12,642 --> 00:55:14,611 Yeah, is that really weird? 1226 00:55:15,111 --> 00:55:16,746 Yeah, kinda. 1227 00:55:17,580 --> 00:55:20,717 Can you... Boss me around some more? 1228 00:55:23,853 --> 00:55:25,221 Really? 1229 00:55:25,355 --> 00:55:26,823 Yeah. 1230 00:55:39,169 --> 00:55:40,870 Give me ten minutes. 1231 00:55:54,884 --> 00:55:57,252 I want you to do my laundry! 1232 00:55:57,253 --> 00:55:58,688 Wow. 1233 00:55:59,055 --> 00:56:00,457 Now! 1234 00:56:01,524 --> 00:56:03,393 And clean my apartment! 1235 00:56:05,128 --> 00:56:07,197 And then I want you to lick it! 1236 00:56:07,897 --> 00:56:10,166 - All right. - Crawl! 1237 00:56:23,079 --> 00:56:24,179 Mark: Eva. 1238 00:56:24,180 --> 00:56:25,849 - Hey! - Hi. 1239 00:56:26,149 --> 00:56:28,618 - How are you? - I'm good. 1240 00:56:29,419 --> 00:56:31,086 Welcome to my restaurant. 1241 00:56:31,087 --> 00:56:32,521 This place is incredible. 1242 00:56:32,522 --> 00:56:35,625 Thank you. It's true. 1243 00:56:35,992 --> 00:56:36,659 Um... 1244 00:56:36,660 --> 00:56:39,595 Rebecca got sick and couldn't find a sitter, 1245 00:56:39,596 --> 00:56:40,397 so... 1246 00:56:40,398 --> 00:56:43,499 I'd like to introduce you to my daughters. 1247 00:56:43,500 --> 00:56:45,267 Mary, Melinda... 1248 00:56:45,268 --> 00:56:47,069 - This is Eva. - Hi. 1249 00:56:47,070 --> 00:56:51,241 - I like your outfit. - Thank you. I make dresses. 1250 00:56:51,408 --> 00:56:52,841 I like Princess dresses. 1251 00:56:52,842 --> 00:56:54,376 I could make you a Princess dress. 1252 00:56:54,377 --> 00:56:56,078 - Would you like that? - Yes! 1253 00:56:56,079 --> 00:56:57,112 Can I have a dress? 1254 00:56:57,113 --> 00:56:59,481 - Absolutely, sweetie. - Yes. 1255 00:56:59,482 --> 00:57:03,385 What if you guys come back to my house after dinner? 1256 00:57:03,386 --> 00:57:05,854 I have lots of dresses. We could play dress-up. 1257 00:57:05,855 --> 00:57:08,424 'Cause I kind of want to hang out with these princesses. 1258 00:57:08,425 --> 00:57:10,093 They're pretty cool. 1259 00:57:10,927 --> 00:57:12,294 Mm! 1260 00:57:12,295 --> 00:57:13,862 I'm having... 1261 00:57:13,863 --> 00:57:15,197 A food orgasm right now. 1262 00:57:15,198 --> 00:57:17,032 - Oh, yeah? Good. - Oh, yeah. I am. 1263 00:57:17,033 --> 00:57:18,734 What's an orgasm? 1264 00:57:18,735 --> 00:57:22,605 - Oh, oops. I'm sorry. - Um, uh, it's, uh... 1265 00:57:22,739 --> 00:57:23,939 It's happiness. 1266 00:57:23,940 --> 00:57:26,008 - Hey. Right? - Yeah! 1267 00:57:26,009 --> 00:57:27,109 - Yeah. - How about some music? 1268 00:57:27,110 --> 00:57:28,811 - Mm-hmm. - You guys look beautiful! 1269 00:57:28,812 --> 00:57:30,078 Let's do a fashion show. 1270 00:57:30,079 --> 00:57:32,448 Oh, now that sounds like fun, right, girls? 1271 00:57:32,449 --> 00:57:33,482 - Yeah. - We're gonna have 1272 00:57:33,483 --> 00:57:35,617 a little catwalk. What do you say? 1273 00:57:35,618 --> 00:57:38,021 Yes! 1274 00:57:40,089 --> 00:57:41,791 Ready? Here we go. 1275 00:57:42,058 --> 00:57:44,793 ♪ Combination must be all right ♪ 1276 00:57:49,365 --> 00:57:52,602 ♪ I feel it ♪ 1277 00:57:52,769 --> 00:57:53,902 Eva: Go, big sister. 1278 00:57:53,903 --> 00:57:55,838 ♪ I feel it ♪ 1279 00:57:55,839 --> 00:57:58,740 Yay! Little miss. Go do your thing! 1280 00:57:58,741 --> 00:57:59,942 Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness. 1281 00:57:59,943 --> 00:58:01,910 - Melinda: Daddy, you got to go! - Yes, daddy! 1282 00:58:01,911 --> 00:58:04,446 Oh, I don't think I need to do that, no. 1283 00:58:04,447 --> 00:58:05,281 Oh, I think you need to. 1284 00:58:05,282 --> 00:58:09,017 What is that? It looks like a violent shoulder move. 1285 00:58:10,487 --> 00:58:12,021 Mary: Yay! 1286 00:58:12,155 --> 00:58:15,425 - Yeah! - Yeah! 1287 00:58:15,992 --> 00:58:17,726 Let's go. Let's do it again. 1288 00:58:17,727 --> 00:58:20,762 Meow. Freestyle. I'm a kitty cat. 1289 00:58:20,763 --> 00:58:22,464 Oh! Meow! Meow! 1290 00:58:22,465 --> 00:58:23,799 I'm a kitty. Work, work, work! 1291 00:58:23,800 --> 00:58:28,003 - ♪ I feel it ♪ - ♪ oh, I feel it ♪ 1292 00:58:28,004 --> 00:58:31,940 - ♪ oh, I feel it ♪ - ♪ I feel it ♪ 1293 00:58:31,941 --> 00:58:36,479 ♪ oh, I feel love ♪ 1294 00:58:38,181 --> 00:58:39,682 Call me... 1295 00:58:51,895 --> 00:58:54,930 - Hello? - Hi. It's me. 1296 00:58:54,931 --> 00:58:56,164 Hi. 1297 00:58:56,165 --> 00:58:57,199 Hey, what are you doing? 1298 00:58:57,200 --> 00:58:59,835 I'm just, uh, having a few people over, yeah? 1299 00:58:59,836 --> 00:59:01,436 Uh, you want to come by? 1300 00:59:01,437 --> 00:59:03,139 Feel the music! 1301 00:59:03,239 --> 00:59:03,840 Yeah. 1302 00:59:03,841 --> 00:59:06,575 - Freedom: Yeah, all right. - Okay, see you soon. 1303 00:59:18,488 --> 00:59:20,223 Freedom: Hey! 1304 00:59:21,324 --> 00:59:24,260 - Man: One for everybody! - Freedom: Oh! 1305 00:59:25,895 --> 00:59:27,396 You in for the next round? Yeah? 1306 00:59:27,397 --> 00:59:29,765 You... I know you want one. 1307 00:59:32,969 --> 00:59:35,804 - Honey: Mm. - Freedom: Mm-hmm. 1308 00:59:35,805 --> 00:59:37,906 Oh, it's so good to see you. 1309 00:59:37,907 --> 00:59:39,775 I'm so glad you called. 1310 00:59:39,776 --> 00:59:41,076 - You want a bump? - Oh, I'm sorry. 1311 00:59:41,077 --> 00:59:44,246 I don't do drugs. I'm a lightweight. 1312 00:59:45,515 --> 00:59:48,050 - Do you want to dance, yeah? - Honey: Sure. 1313 00:59:48,051 --> 00:59:49,752 Yeah. 1314 00:59:50,820 --> 00:59:53,755 Hey. I took too much of this tonight. You want some? 1315 00:59:53,756 --> 00:59:56,792 - Yeah, thank you. Yeah. - Yeah. Hey! 1316 00:59:56,793 --> 00:59:57,627 Mm. Try that? 1317 00:59:57,628 --> 00:59:59,762 - No, thanks. - No? 1318 01:00:00,330 --> 01:00:02,799 Ugh! 1319 01:00:03,766 --> 01:00:05,767 You know, I've been thinking about you a lot. 1320 01:00:05,768 --> 01:00:07,369 - You have? - Yeah. 1321 01:00:07,370 --> 01:00:08,637 Why haven't you called? 1322 01:00:08,638 --> 01:00:11,073 Well, look in my eyes. Tell me what I'm thinking. 1323 01:00:11,074 --> 01:00:13,542 Um, I don't know. 1324 01:00:13,543 --> 01:00:15,645 No, no! 1325 01:00:16,879 --> 01:00:19,315 Talk to me. How do you feel? 1326 01:00:20,483 --> 01:00:23,128 - I like you. - You do? 1327 01:00:23,152 --> 01:00:24,621 Yeah. 1328 01:00:24,887 --> 01:00:26,556 I love you. 1329 01:00:27,625 --> 01:00:29,157 I love you, yeah? 1330 01:00:29,158 --> 01:00:31,861 Don't you know that? Can't you tell? 1331 01:00:31,961 --> 01:00:34,296 Sometimes I can't talk unless I'm wasted. 1332 01:00:34,297 --> 01:00:35,797 Yeah, I get scared. 1333 01:00:35,798 --> 01:00:38,301 I'm gonna talk to you now, yeah? 1334 01:00:38,434 --> 01:00:39,969 I love you. 1335 01:00:40,737 --> 01:00:42,871 Oh, I love you. 1336 01:00:42,872 --> 01:00:45,974 Do you see it in my eyes? Yeah, can you feel it? 1337 01:00:45,975 --> 01:00:49,244 I love you. 1338 01:00:49,245 --> 01:00:54,150 - I love you. - I love you. Mm. Mm. 1339 01:00:56,219 --> 01:00:59,221 I love you! 1340 01:00:59,222 --> 01:01:01,223 - I love you! - I love... 1341 01:01:08,798 --> 01:01:10,800 Oh, whoa. 1342 01:01:10,933 --> 01:01:13,503 My heart's beating really fast. 1343 01:01:14,303 --> 01:01:16,738 - Have you got a valium? - No. 1344 01:01:16,739 --> 01:01:18,875 Xanax? 1345 01:01:19,876 --> 01:01:21,677 - Nyquil? - No. 1346 01:01:22,812 --> 01:01:25,814 No, it's all right. I'll just talk to my heart, yeah? 1347 01:01:25,815 --> 01:01:28,350 I'll make it come down, yeah. 1348 01:01:28,351 --> 01:01:29,751 Do you want me to turn the music off? 1349 01:01:29,752 --> 01:01:31,853 No, no, no, it's fine. No, I can... 1350 01:01:31,854 --> 01:01:33,989 I can do it. Yeah, I can make it. 1351 01:01:33,990 --> 01:01:35,825 Make it calm down. 1352 01:01:36,893 --> 01:01:40,395 - Do you want to have sex? - Whoa, whoa, whoa, babe, babe. 1353 01:01:40,396 --> 01:01:42,365 Sorry. That hurts, yeah? 1354 01:01:42,765 --> 01:01:45,501 Oh. 1355 01:01:45,702 --> 01:01:47,969 I've never felt that way before... 1356 01:01:47,970 --> 01:01:50,605 The way you made me feel. 1357 01:01:50,606 --> 01:01:52,007 Sex is beautiful. 1358 01:01:52,008 --> 01:01:54,242 I didn't have to feel bad about it. 1359 01:01:54,243 --> 01:01:55,712 Okay. 1360 01:01:55,912 --> 01:01:58,313 I felt really good about myself. 1361 01:01:58,314 --> 01:01:59,948 No, that's great, babe, but... 1362 01:01:59,949 --> 01:02:02,818 I don't think I can have sex right now. 1363 01:02:02,819 --> 01:02:04,820 Oh, god, I hope I don't have to go 1364 01:02:04,821 --> 01:02:06,822 to the emergency room again. 1365 01:02:06,823 --> 01:02:08,524 Oh, my god! 1366 01:02:08,725 --> 01:02:10,792 Candy: And then I made him lick it! 1367 01:02:10,793 --> 01:02:12,127 And he did the whole alphabet 1368 01:02:12,128 --> 01:02:14,196 for 45 minutes. I looked at the clock. 1369 01:02:14,197 --> 01:02:15,997 - What? - Oh, my god! 1370 01:02:15,998 --> 01:02:16,899 Candy: I know! 1371 01:02:16,900 --> 01:02:19,134 And then I made him do my laundry. 1372 01:02:19,135 --> 01:02:20,769 Now I have the power. 1373 01:02:20,770 --> 01:02:23,672 Did you ask him if he's seeing the other girls? 1374 01:02:23,673 --> 01:02:27,175 Oh, god! No, I forgot! Ugh! 1375 01:02:27,176 --> 01:02:29,377 Well, maybe your power isn't very powerful, 1376 01:02:29,378 --> 01:02:30,213 because you got him off, 1377 01:02:30,214 --> 01:02:31,913 and you didn't get what you wanted. 1378 01:02:31,914 --> 01:02:33,715 Candy: My power's very powerful. 1379 01:02:33,716 --> 01:02:35,817 Why don't you ask for what you want? 1380 01:02:35,818 --> 01:02:39,155 I try to talk to him, but it's, like... 1381 01:02:41,090 --> 01:02:43,659 Ah! Nothing comes out. 1382 01:02:43,760 --> 01:02:44,826 What is wrong with me? 1383 01:02:44,827 --> 01:02:48,430 I mean, I can talk to you guys, but I cannot talk to him. 1384 01:02:48,431 --> 01:02:50,632 It's like when I'm around him, I just... 1385 01:02:50,633 --> 01:02:53,068 He makes me so nervous that I'm not myself. 1386 01:02:53,069 --> 01:02:54,636 I'm like a unicorn. 1387 01:02:54,637 --> 01:02:56,605 Everyone knows you can't see a unicorn 1388 01:02:56,606 --> 01:02:58,507 unless you believe in them. 1389 01:02:58,508 --> 01:03:01,409 It's like he can't see how... 1390 01:03:01,410 --> 01:03:03,545 Magic I really am. 1391 01:03:03,546 --> 01:03:04,947 Oh! 1392 01:03:05,615 --> 01:03:08,483 Everyone can see it. It's super obvious. 1393 01:03:08,484 --> 01:03:10,286 Yeah. 1394 01:03:12,488 --> 01:03:15,591 What if I ask him for what I want... 1395 01:03:16,926 --> 01:03:18,761 And he leaves me? 1396 01:03:19,262 --> 01:03:20,262 You should try. 1397 01:03:20,263 --> 01:03:22,597 Sometimes I don't even know what I want. 1398 01:03:22,598 --> 01:03:25,635 I think you're being too hard on yourself. 1399 01:03:25,902 --> 01:03:28,404 Okay, what candle did you bring? 1400 01:03:29,739 --> 01:03:31,407 The white candle. 1401 01:03:32,608 --> 01:03:34,143 For healing. 1402 01:03:35,244 --> 01:03:36,645 We all say... 1403 01:03:36,646 --> 01:03:38,680 "I wish to remove anything negative 1404 01:03:38,681 --> 01:03:40,115 from my life." 1405 01:03:40,116 --> 01:03:42,951 All: I wish to remove anything negative 1406 01:03:42,952 --> 01:03:44,554 from my life. 1407 01:03:44,654 --> 01:03:46,656 And so mote it be. 1408 01:03:57,366 --> 01:03:59,601 Oh, and I wish for a unicorn. 1409 01:04:01,070 --> 01:04:03,238 Are you dating other women? 1410 01:04:03,239 --> 01:04:05,674 Why are you talking in that weird voice? 1411 01:04:05,675 --> 01:04:06,675 I'm trying to sound powerful. 1412 01:04:06,676 --> 01:04:08,777 I thought that's what turned you on last time. 1413 01:04:08,778 --> 01:04:10,145 Yeah, it turned me on 1414 01:04:10,146 --> 01:04:11,379 that you asked for what you wanted. 1415 01:04:11,380 --> 01:04:12,981 I just never knew what you were thinking before 1416 01:04:12,982 --> 01:04:14,950 because you just always agreed with everything I said. 1417 01:04:14,951 --> 01:04:17,185 Well, I don't agree with a lot of things you say! 1418 01:04:17,186 --> 01:04:19,321 Maybe listen to me for once! 1419 01:04:19,322 --> 01:04:19,922 Okay. 1420 01:04:19,923 --> 01:04:22,791 Stop dating other women! Are you dating other women? 1421 01:04:22,792 --> 01:04:26,529 Well, there are two other women that I sometimes see. 1422 01:04:28,297 --> 01:04:30,233 Pick me and only me. 1423 01:04:32,001 --> 01:04:33,736 I'll think about it. 1424 01:04:34,604 --> 01:04:36,771 And then she uncovers her true erotic nature 1425 01:04:36,772 --> 01:04:38,206 and defeats the killer inside herself, 1426 01:04:38,207 --> 01:04:41,476 which is really her own self-limiting beliefs. 1427 01:04:41,477 --> 01:04:43,478 Wow, that sounds like a real blockbuster. 1428 01:04:43,479 --> 01:04:44,479 Well, actually, i... I do think 1429 01:04:44,480 --> 01:04:45,947 it has potential to be a real blockbuster, 1430 01:04:45,948 --> 01:04:49,150 because what we've done here is we've... we've satisfied 1431 01:04:49,151 --> 01:04:49,986 the demands of the genre 1432 01:04:49,987 --> 01:04:53,422 while also creating something truly original. 1433 01:04:53,723 --> 01:04:54,923 Oh, sorry, man. I almost fell asleep 1434 01:04:54,924 --> 01:04:57,125 with what you're saying, 'cause it's boring as shit. 1435 01:04:57,126 --> 01:04:58,426 Hey, do you want to have sex in the bathroom, 1436 01:04:58,427 --> 01:05:01,162 or do you want to reject me like my own mother did, huh? 1437 01:05:01,163 --> 01:05:02,364 Why did you break up with me? Huh? 1438 01:05:02,365 --> 01:05:04,599 Why did you break up with me? All I wanted to do was love you, 1439 01:05:04,600 --> 01:05:07,369 and mentor you, and help you achieve your true potential. 1440 01:05:07,370 --> 01:05:09,104 I'm sorry. I don't know what to say. 1441 01:05:09,105 --> 01:05:10,171 I hate that you're not into me. 1442 01:05:10,172 --> 01:05:11,439 It makes me so much more attracted to you. 1443 01:05:11,440 --> 01:05:13,174 And I thought you were desperate and too old 1444 01:05:13,175 --> 01:05:14,776 to bear children without birth defects. 1445 01:05:14,777 --> 01:05:16,511 Oh, that's so out of line. 1446 01:05:16,512 --> 01:05:17,946 I'm so relieved that you find me attractive, 1447 01:05:17,947 --> 01:05:20,148 but when can Linda read the script that we wrote? 1448 01:05:20,149 --> 01:05:23,084 I don't want you speaking directly to Linda anymore, 1449 01:05:23,085 --> 01:05:25,654 okay? And here's another piece of advice for you, 1450 01:05:25,655 --> 01:05:27,522 uh, your boobs are too big, okay? 1451 01:05:27,523 --> 01:05:28,823 They're too big and they're flopping around, 1452 01:05:28,824 --> 01:05:30,258 and they make you look like a bimbo, all right? 1453 01:05:30,259 --> 01:05:33,328 You look like a dummy. That's why your directing career 1454 01:05:33,329 --> 01:05:34,496 hasn't gotten off the ground yet, 1455 01:05:34,497 --> 01:05:35,830 'cause you look like a big-boobied dummy. 1456 01:05:35,831 --> 01:05:38,400 Well, that's great advice. Should I cut my boobs off 1457 01:05:38,401 --> 01:05:39,567 - so I can seem smarter? - No, 1458 01:05:39,568 --> 01:05:42,037 you shouldn't cut your boobs off, okay? 1459 01:05:42,038 --> 01:05:42,972 But what you could do is, 1460 01:05:42,973 --> 01:05:44,539 you could mash them down a little bit. You could take... 1461 01:05:44,540 --> 01:05:48,376 You know what you could do? You could saran wrap them, okay? 1462 01:05:48,377 --> 01:05:50,779 I do it to my dick when I'm on vacation in France. 1463 01:05:50,780 --> 01:05:53,381 I got a big dick and it fucking goes right here 1464 01:05:53,382 --> 01:05:55,117 and I tape it here. 1465 01:05:57,787 --> 01:06:01,823 My bodacious ta-tas honor me and they honor you. 1466 01:06:01,824 --> 01:06:03,258 Should I be taking notes on some of this stuff 1467 01:06:03,259 --> 01:06:05,593 for the sexual-harassment lawsuit we're all going to? 1468 01:06:05,594 --> 01:06:09,764 Hey, don't make me load my emotional gun, okay, dude? 1469 01:06:09,765 --> 01:06:10,599 'Cause I'm one step away 1470 01:06:10,600 --> 01:06:13,302 from loading this emotional gun, dude. 1471 01:06:13,636 --> 01:06:15,104 Cool. 1472 01:06:16,706 --> 01:06:18,940 That dress looks so great on you. 1473 01:06:18,941 --> 01:06:20,342 Why are you going out with Darren again? 1474 01:06:20,343 --> 01:06:22,143 Honey: You should be going out with the licker. I mean, 1475 01:06:22,144 --> 01:06:24,212 there's no contest. You either get licked 1476 01:06:24,213 --> 01:06:25,181 or you don't. 1477 01:06:25,182 --> 01:06:27,515 I was married to Darren 1478 01:06:27,516 --> 01:06:28,650 for 14 years. 1479 01:06:28,651 --> 01:06:30,051 I have to give him another chance. 1480 01:06:30,052 --> 01:06:33,355 Yeah, you don't want him to miss out on another chance 1481 01:06:33,356 --> 01:06:34,990 of not going down on you again. 1482 01:06:34,991 --> 01:06:37,258 Okay, I just texted Mark and I made a date tonight, 1483 01:06:37,259 --> 01:06:39,027 - 10:00 P.M., butchers & barbers. - Oh, no! No! 1484 01:06:39,028 --> 01:06:41,096 Then I said, "would you lick me all over after?" 1485 01:06:41,097 --> 01:06:42,230 - No! - No, I didn't say that. 1486 01:06:42,231 --> 01:06:43,832 - Give it to me. - We must enact 1487 01:06:43,833 --> 01:06:44,633 the good-guy pact. 1488 01:06:44,634 --> 01:06:46,735 Give it to me. 1489 01:06:58,481 --> 01:06:59,748 Oh, hi, babe. 1490 01:06:59,749 --> 01:07:02,117 - Hey! - Hey. Good to see you. 1491 01:07:02,118 --> 01:07:03,551 Yeah. 1492 01:07:03,552 --> 01:07:06,255 - Glad you're feeling better. - Thanks. 1493 01:07:07,323 --> 01:07:10,158 - Hey, I'm honey. - And I'm candy. 1494 01:07:10,159 --> 01:07:11,593 Oh. 1495 01:07:11,594 --> 01:07:12,627 All kinds of lozenges. 1496 01:07:12,628 --> 01:07:14,496 Cool. I thought it was just gonna be us tonight. 1497 01:07:14,497 --> 01:07:16,131 Yeah. Oh, of course. Of course. 1498 01:07:16,132 --> 01:07:18,534 Um, I can take it from here. 1499 01:07:19,602 --> 01:07:20,668 Don't fuck with her. 1500 01:07:20,669 --> 01:07:23,038 Okay. So it's time to go. 1501 01:07:23,039 --> 01:07:26,575 Um, I'll talk to you guys later. Let's go. 1502 01:07:26,675 --> 01:07:29,211 Don't forget your date tonight at ten. 1503 01:07:31,647 --> 01:07:32,747 You have a date? 1504 01:07:32,748 --> 01:07:33,848 - Uh... tonight? 1505 01:07:33,849 --> 01:07:36,585 Yes. She has a date. 1506 01:07:38,120 --> 01:07:39,931 With who? 1507 01:07:39,955 --> 01:07:41,557 Not helping. 1508 01:07:41,657 --> 01:07:43,225 Okay, come on. 1509 01:07:44,660 --> 01:07:46,128 So... 1510 01:07:46,662 --> 01:07:48,696 I don't care, but who are you dating? 1511 01:07:48,697 --> 01:07:50,632 - Uh, I'm not. I'm just... - I don't care. 1512 01:07:50,633 --> 01:07:51,666 - I really don't care. - Okay, 1513 01:07:51,667 --> 01:07:54,102 well, I might see Mark later, because i... I just, 1514 01:07:54,103 --> 01:07:55,737 you know, ran into him the other day. 1515 01:07:55,738 --> 01:07:58,206 - You're dating my friend Mark? - No, I'm not dating him. 1516 01:07:58,207 --> 01:08:01,076 - I said I don't care. - We... we hung out a little bit. 1517 01:08:01,077 --> 01:08:03,111 - I don't care. - Okay. 1518 01:08:03,112 --> 01:08:04,713 I don't care. 1519 01:08:06,082 --> 01:08:08,818 - Did you fuck Mark? - What? 1520 01:08:08,918 --> 01:08:11,286 No. I mean, come on. 1521 01:08:11,287 --> 01:08:13,688 - Yes, I did. Okay. - Oh, my god! Oh, my god! 1522 01:08:13,689 --> 01:08:15,323 Okay, I fucked Mark! It's none of your business! 1523 01:08:15,324 --> 01:08:16,524 You fucked my friend! How could... 1524 01:08:16,525 --> 01:08:18,493 You fucked my friend! Of course that's my business! 1525 01:08:18,494 --> 01:08:19,794 Forget it. Forget I mentioned it. 1526 01:08:19,795 --> 01:08:20,929 How could I forget that? We got... 1527 01:08:20,930 --> 01:08:23,231 He's my friend. We go on vacations together. 1528 01:08:23,232 --> 01:08:24,265 We went biking in Tuscany! 1529 01:08:24,266 --> 01:08:27,102 That was a horrible trip. Just forget it, okay? 1530 01:08:27,103 --> 01:08:28,403 I can't forget that you fucked my friend. 1531 01:08:28,404 --> 01:08:31,406 I don't care about Mark. I love you. I love you, honey. 1532 01:08:31,407 --> 01:08:32,841 I love you. 1533 01:08:32,842 --> 01:08:34,310 Okay? 1534 01:08:35,911 --> 01:08:37,745 Where do you want to go? 1535 01:08:37,746 --> 01:08:39,881 I don't care. Where do you want to go? 1536 01:08:39,882 --> 01:08:40,850 We'll go to butchers & barbers. 1537 01:08:40,851 --> 01:08:42,917 - No, we are not! Stop it. - Get in. Get in. 1538 01:08:42,918 --> 01:08:44,052 - Don't be a child. - That's exactly 1539 01:08:44,053 --> 01:08:45,353 - where we're going. - Do not be a child. 1540 01:08:45,354 --> 01:08:46,588 - I'm not being a child - yes, you are. 1541 01:08:46,589 --> 01:08:48,123 I'm being an extremely angry adult! 1542 01:08:48,124 --> 01:08:49,657 - All right. - That's a huge difference! 1543 01:08:49,658 --> 01:08:52,694 Get it out here, 'cause we're not going there! 1544 01:08:52,695 --> 01:08:54,963 - Are you gonna open my door? - Of course I am. 1545 01:08:54,964 --> 01:08:56,097 Thank you. 1546 01:08:56,098 --> 01:08:58,833 - Darren: Oh, Mark? - Eva: Darren. 1547 01:08:58,834 --> 01:09:01,804 - Darren: Mark! - Darren. Darren. 1548 01:09:02,304 --> 01:09:05,040 I always knew you wanted to fuck my wife. 1549 01:09:05,608 --> 01:09:08,544 Whoa, uh, we're there. Uh... 1550 01:09:09,778 --> 01:09:10,912 You're right. 1551 01:09:10,913 --> 01:09:12,480 Oh, god. Um... 1552 01:09:12,481 --> 01:09:14,149 Just... just deny it at least! 1553 01:09:14,150 --> 01:09:16,518 At least deny it for appearances! 1554 01:09:16,519 --> 01:09:18,486 For crying out loud! 1555 01:09:18,487 --> 01:09:20,955 Guess what. Is this expensive? 1556 01:09:20,956 --> 01:09:22,957 Mark! Oh, my god! 1557 01:09:22,958 --> 01:09:24,759 How do you like me now? Huh? 1558 01:09:24,760 --> 01:09:25,860 - Stop it! - Huh? 1559 01:09:25,861 --> 01:09:27,997 - Really? - Yeah! Yeah, really! 1560 01:09:28,330 --> 01:09:29,397 - Shin kicks? - Darren: Yeah. 1561 01:09:29,398 --> 01:09:31,633 - Stop it! - You know I took kung fu? 1562 01:09:31,634 --> 01:09:32,468 - Okay. - Huh? 1563 01:09:32,469 --> 01:09:34,369 He took, like, two karate... 1564 01:09:34,370 --> 01:09:36,038 Oh, my god. 1565 01:09:36,605 --> 01:09:39,207 Oh, my god, Darren! Stop it! 1566 01:09:39,208 --> 01:09:40,575 He drank a red bull in the car. 1567 01:09:40,576 --> 01:09:42,243 He's really sensitive to caffeine. 1568 01:09:42,244 --> 01:09:44,212 - Darren: Time out, time out! - You're gonna hurt yourself. 1569 01:09:44,213 --> 01:09:47,115 - Eva: I'm gonna pull up the car. - Oh, wow. Big man, huh? 1570 01:09:47,116 --> 01:09:49,551 - Settle down. - Big man with the restaurant 1571 01:09:49,552 --> 01:09:50,552 and the washboard face. 1572 01:09:50,553 --> 01:09:52,687 Sensei Doug would be horrified. 1573 01:09:52,688 --> 01:09:54,189 Guess what. 1574 01:09:54,190 --> 01:09:55,057 Ask her who she wants. 1575 01:09:55,058 --> 01:09:56,925 - Oh, I'm not doing that. - No, ask her who she wants. 1576 01:09:56,926 --> 01:09:59,994 - Who do you want? - I am not gonna answer that. 1577 01:09:59,995 --> 01:10:02,498 Darren: You have to 1578 01:10:02,598 --> 01:10:04,200 choose. This... 1579 01:10:04,533 --> 01:10:06,068 Or "Thor." 1580 01:10:18,914 --> 01:10:20,816 - Hey. - Hey. 1581 01:10:20,950 --> 01:10:24,253 You came. I'm glad you called me back. 1582 01:10:25,487 --> 01:10:26,854 I missed you. 1583 01:10:26,855 --> 01:10:29,958 - You look really beautiful. - Thank you. 1584 01:10:29,959 --> 01:10:33,405 Have you thought more about monogamy? 1585 01:10:33,429 --> 01:10:37,265 Ah, you really love that word. Can we talk about that later? 1586 01:10:37,266 --> 01:10:39,234 I mean, this is a really important party. 1587 01:10:39,235 --> 01:10:42,570 I want to talk about it now. 1588 01:10:42,571 --> 01:10:44,173 That's... 1589 01:10:44,273 --> 01:10:45,406 Oh. 1590 01:10:45,407 --> 01:10:46,441 That's Steve Evans. 1591 01:10:46,442 --> 01:10:49,744 That's the guy that picks all the, uh, the Ted speakers. 1592 01:10:49,745 --> 01:10:51,579 I got to talk to him. 1593 01:10:51,580 --> 01:10:53,782 - Now? - Yeah, come on. 1594 01:10:59,955 --> 01:11:04,192 Steve. Hey, how are you, man? 1595 01:11:04,193 --> 01:11:04,960 Daniel Peters, 1596 01:11:04,961 --> 01:11:07,562 - from the... from the emails. - From the emails. 1597 01:11:07,563 --> 01:11:08,464 - Yeah! - Yeah! 1598 01:11:08,465 --> 01:11:09,964 - Isn't that great? - Yeah. 1599 01:11:09,965 --> 01:11:13,402 We got to get together, man. You know, we've been, uh... 1600 01:11:15,104 --> 01:11:16,504 Oh, this is candy. 1601 01:11:16,505 --> 01:11:17,406 Hi. 1602 01:11:17,407 --> 01:11:19,607 - Hey. - Is this your girlfriend? 1603 01:11:19,608 --> 01:11:20,842 - No! - Yeah. 1604 01:11:20,843 --> 01:11:21,644 I'm a free agent. 1605 01:11:21,645 --> 01:11:23,811 I'm interested in making lots of sexual connections, 1606 01:11:23,812 --> 01:11:26,514 because I can't be tied down by monogamy. 1607 01:11:26,515 --> 01:11:28,751 Really? 1608 01:11:29,351 --> 01:11:30,996 Interesting. 1609 01:11:31,020 --> 01:11:32,287 What do you do, candy? 1610 01:11:32,288 --> 01:11:36,624 I study the significance of ritual, 1611 01:11:36,625 --> 01:11:38,192 and also I hate monogamy! 1612 01:11:38,193 --> 01:11:40,962 Give me some casual sex, please! 1613 01:11:40,963 --> 01:11:42,563 Me, too! 1614 01:11:42,564 --> 01:11:43,965 Yeah, yeah, that's great. 1615 01:11:43,966 --> 01:11:46,878 - Yeah, that's fun. - Steven: Oh, Daniel, you have... 1616 01:11:46,902 --> 01:11:48,236 Fascinating friends. 1617 01:11:48,237 --> 01:11:50,204 Well, she's... It's more than a friend, 1618 01:11:50,205 --> 01:11:51,040 - so... - Am I? 1619 01:11:51,041 --> 01:11:53,541 I would love to learn more, uh, about this. 1620 01:11:53,542 --> 01:11:55,476 Can I... Could I get your number? 1621 01:11:55,477 --> 01:11:57,578 - Sure, Steve. - Hang on a minute. 1622 01:11:57,579 --> 01:11:58,880 - Listen... - It's good. I got my phone. 1623 01:11:58,881 --> 01:12:00,415 - I can connect you. - I got my phone. It's good. 1624 01:12:00,416 --> 01:12:02,917 Daniel: I can probably connect you guys on an email. 1625 01:12:02,918 --> 01:12:04,118 Just type it in yourself? 1626 01:12:04,119 --> 01:12:05,953 And is it candy with an I or a y? 1627 01:12:05,954 --> 01:12:07,855 - With a y. - Oh, why not? 1628 01:12:07,856 --> 01:12:11,392 Oh. Why... why would it be with an I, you know? 1629 01:12:11,393 --> 01:12:12,627 Peter: You guys are all handsome guys. 1630 01:12:12,628 --> 01:12:14,062 You know what I'm talking about. It's the fast-paced 1631 01:12:14,063 --> 01:12:15,763 Hollywood lifestyle. You know how many girls 1632 01:12:15,764 --> 01:12:17,765 I've had sex with? 21. 1633 01:12:17,766 --> 01:12:18,766 And I'm only 35. 1634 01:12:18,767 --> 01:12:19,702 And I've eaten 12 pussies, 1635 01:12:19,703 --> 01:12:22,504 most of them on the girls I've fucked. Hey! 1636 01:12:22,638 --> 01:12:23,738 Honey: Hey. 1637 01:12:23,739 --> 01:12:24,972 I got your text. 1638 01:12:24,973 --> 01:12:26,908 Peter: One second, guys. I'll be right back. 1639 01:12:26,909 --> 01:12:29,410 Follow me. I got to piss out of my cock. 1640 01:12:29,411 --> 01:12:30,346 Did Linda read my script? 1641 01:12:30,347 --> 01:12:33,147 Uh, yeah, she agreed with a few things about it, 1642 01:12:33,148 --> 01:12:35,317 so, uh, I got rid of her. 1643 01:12:35,517 --> 01:12:37,018 You got rid of her? 1644 01:12:37,019 --> 01:12:38,353 Yeah. And, uh, it turns out 1645 01:12:38,354 --> 01:12:40,021 I got some new financiers for the movie, 1646 01:12:40,022 --> 01:12:42,624 so it doesn't matter what Linda thinks. 1647 01:12:43,092 --> 01:12:44,625 Oh, plus... 1648 01:12:44,626 --> 01:12:46,295 You're fired. 1649 01:12:47,496 --> 01:12:48,464 Well, great, 'cause I quit. 1650 01:12:48,465 --> 01:12:50,264 And I'm gonna write my own movie about a woman 1651 01:12:50,265 --> 01:12:53,901 having a religious orgasm. And no one stabs her in the ass. 1652 01:12:53,902 --> 01:12:56,037 First of all, you can't quit after I fire you, so... 1653 01:12:56,038 --> 01:12:58,373 A person can be smart and have big boobs. 1654 01:12:58,374 --> 01:13:00,041 And people are gonna watch my movie 1655 01:13:00,042 --> 01:13:02,211 and people are gonna love it! 1656 01:13:02,878 --> 01:13:05,490 No one respects you, big boobs. 1657 01:13:05,514 --> 01:13:06,949 Uh... 1658 01:13:07,950 --> 01:13:10,428 You know, I used to want to be you. 1659 01:13:10,452 --> 01:13:13,154 But all the success in the world doesn't make you happy, 1660 01:13:13,155 --> 01:13:14,556 does it? 1661 01:13:16,258 --> 01:13:18,993 I have friends and you don't have any friends, 1662 01:13:18,994 --> 01:13:20,596 and I'm happy. 1663 01:13:21,997 --> 01:13:24,465 Yeah, I guess, you know what, maybe I'm not so happy 1664 01:13:24,466 --> 01:13:26,034 in my life. 1665 01:13:27,436 --> 01:13:29,203 Maybe if we had sex in this bathroom, 1666 01:13:29,204 --> 01:13:30,172 I might be happy about that, 1667 01:13:30,173 --> 01:13:32,441 so why don't you get on your knees, baby? 1668 01:13:33,342 --> 01:13:34,877 Fuck you. 1669 01:13:44,520 --> 01:13:46,355 Oh. Oh. 1670 01:13:46,688 --> 01:13:48,123 Oh, wow. 1671 01:13:49,892 --> 01:13:51,693 I'm sorry you didn't come. 1672 01:13:53,462 --> 01:13:55,464 You know what I love about you? 1673 01:13:55,931 --> 01:13:58,133 You're so comforting, you know? 1674 01:13:58,400 --> 01:14:00,102 Here's the thing... 1675 01:14:00,669 --> 01:14:02,103 Sex dies... 1676 01:14:02,104 --> 01:14:04,006 In every relationship. 1677 01:14:05,340 --> 01:14:06,841 So maybe we should be together. 1678 01:14:06,842 --> 01:14:08,276 - What? - I'm... I'm just... 1679 01:14:08,277 --> 01:14:10,812 I'm losing my passion for chandra, you know? 1680 01:14:10,813 --> 01:14:11,979 - Oh. - You know, I just don't want 1681 01:14:11,980 --> 01:14:13,581 - anyone to get hurt. - Oh my god, 1682 01:14:13,582 --> 01:14:15,817 chandra broke up with you. That's why you're here. 1683 01:14:15,818 --> 01:14:18,686 No, she's following one direction for a while. 1684 01:14:18,687 --> 01:14:19,954 Oh, perfect! 1685 01:14:19,955 --> 01:14:22,490 - That's so perfect! - I know. 1686 01:14:22,491 --> 01:14:24,325 I'm a cliché. But... 1687 01:14:24,326 --> 01:14:27,395 The handsome guy runs off with a younger, hot, 1688 01:14:27,396 --> 01:14:30,598 sexy, fit, tight little girl, 1689 01:14:30,599 --> 01:14:31,632 and then he gets bored, 1690 01:14:31,633 --> 01:14:33,801 and he wants to come running home to mommy. 1691 01:14:33,802 --> 01:14:36,839 Eva 1692 01:14:38,474 --> 01:14:39,274 Mommy? 1693 01:14:39,275 --> 01:14:40,708 Uh, I'm not your mommy, okay? 1694 01:14:40,709 --> 01:14:43,411 Okay, you don't understand. Here's the thing. 1695 01:14:43,412 --> 01:14:45,223 I'm saving... 1696 01:14:45,247 --> 01:14:46,949 My sexual energy... 1697 01:14:47,850 --> 01:14:48,550 For my art. 1698 01:14:48,551 --> 01:14:49,917 Here's the thing. Here's the thing. 1699 01:14:49,918 --> 01:14:52,119 I think maybe sex doesn't die for everyone. 1700 01:14:52,120 --> 01:14:54,856 It just has died for you and your weird dick. 1701 01:14:54,857 --> 01:14:56,624 - And Mark couldn't wait... - Stop it. Stop it. 1702 01:14:56,625 --> 01:14:58,960 To go down on me. He fucking loved going down, 1703 01:14:58,961 --> 01:15:00,161 - and I loved it! - Oh, stop. Ew. Ew. Ew. 1704 01:15:00,162 --> 01:15:02,630 - Oh, no, see, that says it all. - First of all, ew. 1705 01:15:02,631 --> 01:15:04,465 - "Ew." - ew. Ew. 1706 01:15:04,466 --> 01:15:05,633 You asked him to go down on you. 1707 01:15:05,634 --> 01:15:09,070 No, I didn't ask him! He asked me! He begged me! 1708 01:15:09,071 --> 01:15:09,972 - Oh, my god. - Mm-hmm. 1709 01:15:09,973 --> 01:15:11,706 - What an asshole. - That's what he said. 1710 01:15:11,707 --> 01:15:12,874 - Stop. That's not... stop it. - He did. 1711 01:15:12,875 --> 01:15:15,443 He said I had a beautiful butthole. Ha-ha! 1712 01:15:16,212 --> 01:15:20,082 - You want a line? - No, thanks. I'm fine. 1713 01:15:22,184 --> 01:15:24,653 Oh! 1714 01:15:28,657 --> 01:15:30,659 Are you a drug addict? 1715 01:15:31,493 --> 01:15:33,228 Why would you ask that? 1716 01:15:33,495 --> 01:15:35,030 No reason. 1717 01:15:36,565 --> 01:15:39,800 No. Look, that's just a piece of art, yeah? 1718 01:15:39,801 --> 01:15:42,937 It's a piece of art about a feeling, you know? 1719 01:15:42,938 --> 01:15:46,008 Just a feeling some people make me feel. 1720 01:15:46,441 --> 01:15:47,808 So there's a lot of other people 1721 01:15:47,809 --> 01:15:48,777 who think you're a drug addict? 1722 01:15:48,778 --> 01:15:52,213 No. No, I just like to party and have a good time is all, 1723 01:15:52,214 --> 01:15:52,814 yeah? 1724 01:15:52,815 --> 01:15:54,415 Who else thinks you're a drug addict? 1725 01:15:54,416 --> 01:15:58,486 Look, just my stupid family. 1726 01:15:58,487 --> 01:15:59,187 Your family? 1727 01:15:59,188 --> 01:16:00,888 Yeah, look, just 'cause they give me money, 1728 01:16:00,889 --> 01:16:04,626 it makes them think they got the right to judge me, yeah? 1729 01:16:04,927 --> 01:16:07,128 But come on. Let's get some food. 1730 01:16:07,129 --> 01:16:10,198 Why does your family think you're a drug addict? 1731 01:16:11,967 --> 01:16:13,501 I'm freedom, yeah? 1732 01:16:13,502 --> 01:16:16,271 I'm free from family shackles. 1733 01:16:17,439 --> 01:16:18,973 Stop doing drugs. 1734 01:16:18,974 --> 01:16:20,642 I'll help you. 1735 01:16:24,379 --> 01:16:25,981 I love you. 1736 01:16:28,183 --> 01:16:31,053 Yeah, i... I love you so much. 1737 01:16:31,520 --> 01:16:33,321 And I've been thinking, yeah? I... 1738 01:16:33,322 --> 01:16:35,723 I've got to get out of this city for a while... 1739 01:16:35,724 --> 01:16:39,360 'Cause sometimes a man, he needs to go on walkabout. 1740 01:16:39,361 --> 01:16:41,495 I've got these big mountains to climb, yeah? 1741 01:16:41,496 --> 01:16:45,033 A man, he needs to be able to climb his mountains, yeah? 1742 01:16:45,300 --> 01:16:46,101 Do you understand? 1743 01:16:46,102 --> 01:16:48,169 Not really. Are you talking about real mountains, or... 1744 01:16:48,170 --> 01:16:51,472 I'm talking about the mountains that only a real man can climb, 1745 01:16:51,473 --> 01:16:53,909 yeah? 'Cause that's... that's me. 1746 01:16:54,042 --> 01:16:55,577 I'm a man. 1747 01:16:57,012 --> 01:16:58,512 Can I come with you? 1748 01:16:58,513 --> 01:16:59,314 No. 1749 01:16:59,315 --> 01:17:02,484 No, I've got wars to fight. Do you see? 1750 01:17:03,485 --> 01:17:05,697 Hey, maybe we'll reunite, yeah? 1751 01:17:05,721 --> 01:17:07,288 In, like, five years. 1752 01:17:07,289 --> 01:17:08,689 Five years? 1753 01:17:08,690 --> 01:17:10,192 Yeah. 1754 01:17:10,792 --> 01:17:12,628 Come on, look in my eyes. 1755 01:17:13,595 --> 01:17:15,364 What am I thinking? 1756 01:17:16,365 --> 01:17:17,365 I don't know. 1757 01:17:17,366 --> 01:17:20,268 Can two people ever really be together? 1758 01:17:20,602 --> 01:17:23,471 And once they're together, can they ever really be apart? 1759 01:17:23,472 --> 01:17:25,173 These feelings... 1760 01:17:25,474 --> 01:17:27,976 They'll always exist inside us. 1761 01:17:29,945 --> 01:17:32,714 Maybe I'll come back for you one day. 1762 01:17:33,248 --> 01:17:34,950 But maybe not. 1763 01:17:35,584 --> 01:17:37,051 And remember... 1764 01:17:37,052 --> 01:17:39,621 I left you better than I found you. 1765 01:17:44,860 --> 01:17:47,094 Candy: "I left you better than I found you"? 1766 01:17:47,095 --> 01:17:49,430 Honey: And then he went off to climb mountains. 1767 01:17:49,431 --> 01:17:51,198 Probably mountains of cocaine. 1768 01:17:51,199 --> 01:17:53,968 How can I have the amazing sex again? 1769 01:17:53,969 --> 01:17:55,569 I think he was the one. 1770 01:17:55,570 --> 01:17:58,439 Eva: No, he's not the one. You're the one. 1771 01:17:58,440 --> 01:18:01,410 You're the only one that matters. 1772 01:18:01,510 --> 01:18:03,277 These candles are dangerous. 1773 01:18:03,278 --> 01:18:04,112 And they don't work! 1774 01:18:04,113 --> 01:18:06,681 Let's do a spell for the power to make our dreams come true. 1775 01:18:06,682 --> 01:18:09,550 We don't have power. We have low self-esteem. 1776 01:18:09,551 --> 01:18:10,851 Okay, don't say that. 1777 01:18:10,852 --> 01:18:13,320 - Ah! The candles! - Stop it. 1778 01:18:13,321 --> 01:18:16,323 Only a stupid idiot would believe in a magic candle. 1779 01:18:16,324 --> 01:18:17,125 I believe in them. 1780 01:18:17,126 --> 01:18:18,492 That's 'cause you live in a fantasy world. 1781 01:18:18,493 --> 01:18:19,660 - What is going on? - Honey: Look, 1782 01:18:19,661 --> 01:18:21,128 I paid a lot of money for your candles 1783 01:18:21,129 --> 01:18:23,564 and I'm gonna sue you for false advertising! 1784 01:18:23,565 --> 01:18:24,765 I bought them from a candle emporium. 1785 01:18:24,766 --> 01:18:26,834 - They're not magic. - I hate the candles! 1786 01:18:26,835 --> 01:18:28,002 - No! - Whoa, calm down! 1787 01:18:28,003 --> 01:18:29,537 You guys all have your periods, right? That's... 1788 01:18:29,538 --> 01:18:31,505 The candles suck! All right, you know, 1789 01:18:31,506 --> 01:18:33,507 this is your friend. You are fired. 1790 01:18:33,508 --> 01:18:35,377 Oh! I quit! 1791 01:18:35,544 --> 01:18:36,944 She's not my friend! 1792 01:18:36,945 --> 01:18:38,245 'Cause I'm not friends with people 1793 01:18:38,246 --> 01:18:40,515 that think I'm stupid. 1794 01:18:41,550 --> 01:18:43,919 And we're not on our periods! 1795 01:18:45,921 --> 01:18:49,223 I mean, to be fair, I am on my period. 1796 01:18:49,224 --> 01:18:51,727 It's towards the end of my cycle. 1797 01:18:52,461 --> 01:18:54,795 It's only a matter of time for the rest of them, right? 1798 01:18:54,796 --> 01:18:56,797 - Would you just stop? - Okay. 1799 01:19:28,396 --> 01:19:30,932 You okay? 1800 01:19:31,032 --> 01:19:33,668 - Not really. - You know what? 1801 01:19:34,236 --> 01:19:35,971 Screw this place. 1802 01:19:39,040 --> 01:19:40,475 Hey. 1803 01:19:40,909 --> 01:19:44,746 Working with you has been the best part of my job. 1804 01:19:46,748 --> 01:19:47,882 You know, I wanted to be the voice 1805 01:19:47,883 --> 01:19:51,662 of modern feminism, but I'm a loser. 1806 01:19:51,686 --> 01:19:52,254 And I... 1807 01:19:52,255 --> 01:19:53,854 Don't think my friends will ever talk to me again, 1808 01:19:53,855 --> 01:19:54,889 'cause I took a big crap on them 1809 01:19:54,890 --> 01:19:57,292 and then I crapped in front of them. 1810 01:19:58,126 --> 01:19:59,293 I took an emotional shit. 1811 01:19:59,294 --> 01:20:03,030 Everything's gonna be okay. I believe in you, yo. 1812 01:20:03,031 --> 01:20:05,666 And you do have a feminist voice. 1813 01:20:05,667 --> 01:20:07,168 You're the full package. 1814 01:20:07,169 --> 01:20:10,171 I think you're a package and a half. 1815 01:20:10,172 --> 01:20:11,972 - I'm a package and a half? - Yeah. 1816 01:20:11,973 --> 01:20:14,809 I'd even go so far as saying you're two packages. 1817 01:20:14,810 --> 01:20:17,311 That's the nicest thing that anyone's ever said to me. 1818 01:20:17,312 --> 01:20:19,848 That's the nicest thing I've ever said. 1819 01:20:21,516 --> 01:20:22,951 Huh. 1820 01:20:36,332 --> 01:20:37,965 Honey: Hello. I'm looking for the special unicorn lady 1821 01:20:37,966 --> 01:20:41,135 who lives in this apartment and is very magical. 1822 01:20:41,136 --> 01:20:43,304 Oh. Leave me alone. 1823 01:20:43,305 --> 01:20:45,707 I'm living in my fantasy world. 1824 01:20:46,241 --> 01:20:48,043 I'm sorry I was a jerk. 1825 01:20:48,176 --> 01:20:49,945 I really miss you. 1826 01:20:52,514 --> 01:20:53,982 Wow. 1827 01:20:54,249 --> 01:20:57,051 I can't believe you did this. Thanks. 1828 01:20:57,052 --> 01:20:58,419 Don't thank me. It's the candles. 1829 01:20:58,420 --> 01:21:00,254 - They really work. - Stop making fun of me. 1830 01:21:00,255 --> 01:21:04,769 I'm not. My life was depressing without your magic spells. 1831 01:21:04,793 --> 01:21:06,026 Thank you. It's true. 1832 01:21:06,027 --> 01:21:07,595 Listen, I have a great idea. 1833 01:21:13,535 --> 01:21:16,905 All right, the factory in Jakarta's running behind. 1834 01:21:18,373 --> 01:21:19,540 Can we sell the magical candles 1835 01:21:19,541 --> 01:21:21,075 in your store and use the profits 1836 01:21:21,076 --> 01:21:21,910 to pay candy's rent? 1837 01:21:21,911 --> 01:21:25,780 I don't know. Maybe I have too much low self-esteem. 1838 01:21:26,014 --> 01:21:27,781 I'm sorry that I projectile-vomited 1839 01:21:27,782 --> 01:21:28,750 my low self-esteem onto you, 1840 01:21:28,751 --> 01:21:31,518 and I promise to swallow it back down next time. 1841 01:21:31,519 --> 01:21:32,653 Ew. 1842 01:21:32,654 --> 01:21:34,421 That is the grossest analogy. 1843 01:21:34,422 --> 01:21:39,427 - Yes, you can sell candles here. - Thank you. 1844 01:21:39,961 --> 01:21:42,196 You guys look really cute. 1845 01:21:42,197 --> 01:21:43,631 - We're witches. - Oh! 1846 01:21:43,632 --> 01:21:45,733 I thought you were, like, mean cowgirls. 1847 01:21:45,734 --> 01:21:47,268 Witches. It's better. It's better. 1848 01:21:47,269 --> 01:21:49,404 Come see. We'll set up over here. 1849 01:21:50,839 --> 01:21:52,172 Candy: A lot of people are gonna tell you 1850 01:21:52,173 --> 01:21:53,374 you can't do things in your life, 1851 01:21:53,375 --> 01:21:55,276 and I'm here to tell you that you can. 1852 01:21:55,277 --> 01:21:56,810 Believe in yourself. 1853 01:21:56,811 --> 01:22:00,248 And remember how amazing you really are. 1854 01:22:03,518 --> 01:22:05,586 Oh! We sold so many. 1855 01:22:05,587 --> 01:22:07,554 Wow, witches are, like, the new vampires. 1856 01:22:07,555 --> 01:22:10,925 It's shocking how many people are buying these things. 1857 01:22:10,926 --> 01:22:13,827 The two children's dresses we made came in. 1858 01:22:13,828 --> 01:22:15,996 What do you want to do with them? 1859 01:22:15,997 --> 01:22:17,364 Oh. 1860 01:22:17,365 --> 01:22:18,799 What's happening with Mark? 1861 01:22:18,800 --> 01:22:21,201 We broke up. I forgot the good-guy pact 1862 01:22:21,202 --> 01:22:24,872 and I chose Darren. And I really regret it. 1863 01:22:24,873 --> 01:22:26,040 You gotta give those little girls 1864 01:22:26,041 --> 01:22:27,474 - their dresses. - Eva: I'm pretty sure 1865 01:22:27,475 --> 01:22:30,245 he never wants to see me again. 1866 01:22:31,613 --> 01:22:34,081 Fine. What do you think? Maybe not, right? 1867 01:22:34,082 --> 01:22:36,016 Oh, my god! 1868 01:22:36,017 --> 01:22:38,085 That look. Jeez. 1869 01:22:38,086 --> 01:22:39,955 All right. Okay. 1870 01:22:46,328 --> 01:22:48,964 He didn't come, so there you go. 1871 01:22:49,431 --> 01:22:50,298 Not home, right? 1872 01:22:50,299 --> 01:22:52,300 Oh, god. 1873 01:22:53,001 --> 01:22:55,603 Uh, hi. How are you? Um... 1874 01:22:56,538 --> 01:23:00,341 I know you probably don't want to see me. Um... 1875 01:23:00,342 --> 01:23:03,144 I made dresses for your daughters. 1876 01:23:04,546 --> 01:23:06,114 Nice. Thank you. 1877 01:23:07,415 --> 01:23:08,682 I'm sorry. 1878 01:23:08,683 --> 01:23:11,552 I'm so sorry I sabotaged our relationship. 1879 01:23:11,553 --> 01:23:14,355 And I'm sorry I treated you so badly 1880 01:23:14,356 --> 01:23:18,026 when you're just, like, the greatest guy. 1881 01:23:18,426 --> 01:23:20,661 Thanks for saying that, but, uh... 1882 01:23:20,662 --> 01:23:23,732 I don't think we should see each other anymore. 1883 01:23:26,868 --> 01:23:27,469 Um... 1884 01:23:27,470 --> 01:23:30,181 For what it's worth, I broke up with Darren... 1885 01:23:30,205 --> 01:23:31,706 For good. 1886 01:23:32,407 --> 01:23:33,640 Just... 1887 01:23:33,641 --> 01:23:36,076 I don't think I liked myself enough 1888 01:23:36,077 --> 01:23:38,179 to choose a good guy. 1889 01:23:38,947 --> 01:23:41,048 I didn't think I deserved it. 1890 01:23:41,049 --> 01:23:41,950 Mary: Eva! 1891 01:23:41,951 --> 01:23:44,018 - Hey, sweetie! - Hey, Eva. 1892 01:23:44,019 --> 01:23:44,953 I made you dresses. 1893 01:23:44,954 --> 01:23:48,490 Yay! Come in! Evie, Evie, Evie! 1894 01:23:53,261 --> 01:23:54,896 Yes! 1895 01:23:55,830 --> 01:23:59,967 I like the dress. I'm having an orgasm. 1896 01:24:06,674 --> 01:24:09,611 ♪ I feel it ♪ 1897 01:24:10,745 --> 01:24:14,249 ♪ I feel it ♪ 1898 01:24:14,516 --> 01:24:18,118 ♪ I feel it ♪ 1899 01:24:18,119 --> 01:24:21,923 ♪ I feel love ♪ 1900 01:24:22,991 --> 01:24:25,426 Eva: Who knew getting a divorce could be so great? 1901 01:24:25,427 --> 01:24:28,095 - Candy: Yeah. - What's going on with Daniel? 1902 01:24:28,096 --> 01:24:31,498 Nothing! That's why we need a super-powerful spell. 1903 01:24:31,499 --> 01:24:34,301 I think we should call on all the elements to help us. 1904 01:24:34,302 --> 01:24:35,669 - Honey, are you in? - I'm so in. 1905 01:24:35,670 --> 01:24:37,371 In fact, I'm gonna call on the elements. 1906 01:24:37,372 --> 01:24:38,605 What are the elements? 1907 01:24:38,606 --> 01:24:40,207 Uh, earth. 1908 01:24:40,208 --> 01:24:42,576 Okay, earth. Earth. Okay. 1909 01:24:42,577 --> 01:24:43,944 I am going to... I don't know, 1910 01:24:43,945 --> 01:24:47,581 I'm going to call on the earth and... is that really dorky? 1911 01:24:47,582 --> 01:24:48,816 - No, no, no! - No, it's amazing! 1912 01:24:48,817 --> 01:24:51,552 - I'm gonna walk on it. Why not? - Candy: Okay. 1913 01:24:51,553 --> 01:24:53,420 Candy: What's up, earth? 1914 01:24:53,421 --> 01:24:54,621 Honey: Okay, what's another element? 1915 01:24:54,622 --> 01:24:57,592 - Uh, wind. - Okay, what about... 1916 01:24:59,694 --> 01:25:02,363 - Would incense count? - Yeah! 1917 01:25:02,464 --> 01:25:04,998 - Sure. - All right. Um... 1918 01:25:04,999 --> 01:25:06,467 We call on the wind. 1919 01:25:09,971 --> 01:25:12,473 - Am I imagining that? - No. 1920 01:25:12,474 --> 01:25:15,042 - Wow, so cool! - So cool! 1921 01:25:15,043 --> 01:25:19,214 Okay, what about water? Here. Drink your drinks. 1922 01:25:22,984 --> 01:25:24,751 I call on water! 1923 01:25:29,924 --> 01:25:31,960 Guys, we made it rain. 1924 01:25:32,494 --> 01:25:34,496 Candy: Candles are fire. 1925 01:25:34,929 --> 01:25:36,797 Purple for power. 1926 01:25:36,798 --> 01:25:38,800 The power to get what we want. 1927 01:25:40,068 --> 01:25:41,745 Say your wishes. 1928 01:25:41,769 --> 01:25:43,537 I wish to like myself. 1929 01:25:43,538 --> 01:25:46,174 - So mote it be. - So mote it be. 1930 01:25:46,808 --> 01:25:51,011 I wish to know that I deserve the good things in life. 1931 01:25:51,012 --> 01:25:53,114 All: So mote it be. 1932 01:25:55,850 --> 01:25:57,384 I wish for love... 1933 01:25:57,385 --> 01:25:58,886 And money. 1934 01:25:58,887 --> 01:26:01,055 - So mote it be. - So mote it be. 1935 01:26:01,289 --> 01:26:05,360 We ask the elements to help us with our hearts' desires. 1936 01:26:06,060 --> 01:26:07,529 This... 1937 01:26:07,829 --> 01:26:09,607 Or something better. 1938 01:26:09,631 --> 01:26:13,934 ♪ All I could ever need is you ♪ 1939 01:26:15,703 --> 01:26:19,641 If you believe in magic, then there's magic! 1940 01:26:27,215 --> 01:26:29,149 It's raining so hard! 1941 01:26:29,150 --> 01:26:31,686 Oh, my god! Oh, my god! 1942 01:26:31,953 --> 01:26:33,987 Honey: "To truly experience ecstatic sex, 1943 01:26:33,988 --> 01:26:36,023 you must first fall in love with yourself. 1944 01:26:36,024 --> 01:26:40,028 Look at yourself in a mirror and say, 'i love you.'" 1945 01:26:45,967 --> 01:26:47,502 I love you. 1946 01:26:49,971 --> 01:26:51,573 I love you. 1947 01:26:53,241 --> 01:26:54,642 Well... 1948 01:26:55,977 --> 01:26:57,811 "Now look at your yoni in a mirror 1949 01:26:57,812 --> 01:27:00,682 and admire its tremendous beauty." 1950 01:27:06,754 --> 01:27:08,389 I love you. 1951 01:27:08,790 --> 01:27:12,760 "Discover what kind of pressure you like. Play music." 1952 01:27:20,535 --> 01:27:22,869 ♪ I pull up to the club ♪ 1953 01:27:22,870 --> 01:27:24,771 ♪ I got my swag on ♪ 1954 01:27:24,772 --> 01:27:26,640 ♪ the music's playing loud ♪ 1955 01:27:26,641 --> 01:27:28,775 ♪ can't play their money y'all ♪ 1956 01:27:28,776 --> 01:27:31,078 ♪ I see 'em lookin' at me ♪ 1957 01:27:31,079 --> 01:27:33,046 ♪ she got a pretty smile ♪ 1958 01:27:33,047 --> 01:27:35,682 ♪ so I'm-a get a drink ♪ 1959 01:27:42,757 --> 01:27:44,057 Mm. Okay. 1960 01:27:48,062 --> 01:27:49,897 ♪ Come on ♪ 1961 01:27:52,967 --> 01:27:55,702 Hell! Hell! Hell! 1962 01:27:55,703 --> 01:27:58,305 And hell! 1963 01:27:58,306 --> 01:27:58,973 Shut up. 1964 01:27:58,974 --> 01:28:00,173 ♪ Girl I want ya ♪ 1965 01:28:00,174 --> 01:28:02,577 ♪ there's no way... ♪ 1966 01:28:05,280 --> 01:28:09,082 - Can you take your shirt off? - Don't. Please. Please don't. 1967 01:28:09,083 --> 01:28:11,028 Can I just leave it on? 1968 01:28:11,052 --> 01:28:12,854 Can i... okay. 1969 01:28:14,656 --> 01:28:16,157 Um... 1970 01:28:19,060 --> 01:28:19,727 I just... 1971 01:28:19,728 --> 01:28:22,797 I don't want you to be disappointed. 1972 01:28:24,399 --> 01:28:27,368 Why don't you let me be the judge of that? 1973 01:28:51,859 --> 01:28:55,830 You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. 1974 01:29:06,541 --> 01:29:09,010 Woman: See ya, Jane. 1975 01:29:10,545 --> 01:29:11,312 - Hi. - Hi. 1976 01:29:11,313 --> 01:29:13,046 Can I talk to you for a second? 1977 01:29:13,047 --> 01:29:13,881 - Okay. - Um, 1978 01:29:13,882 --> 01:29:15,482 I'm the old assistant who likes sluts. 1979 01:29:15,483 --> 01:29:17,351 I know who you are. I liked your script. 1980 01:29:17,352 --> 01:29:20,987 Thank you. So I'm not working for Peter anymore. 1981 01:29:20,988 --> 01:29:21,856 Good. He's a dick. 1982 01:29:21,857 --> 01:29:24,891 Yeah. And I wrote a new script and I wanted to pitch it to you 1983 01:29:24,892 --> 01:29:26,693 and I was hoping you would read it. 1984 01:29:26,694 --> 01:29:27,728 How did you find me? 1985 01:29:27,729 --> 01:29:30,430 Well, I, uh... I stole Peter's contacts. 1986 01:29:30,431 --> 01:29:33,433 - Oh, very sneaky. I like that. - I'm sneaky. 1987 01:29:33,434 --> 01:29:35,235 - Mm-hmm. - I want to be a filmmaker. 1988 01:29:35,236 --> 01:29:36,903 Really? Have you directed before? 1989 01:29:36,904 --> 01:29:39,439 - No, just a short. - Hmm. Well, okay. 1990 01:29:39,440 --> 01:29:42,476 You can walk me to my car. I'll give you five minutes. 1991 01:29:42,477 --> 01:29:43,945 Okay! 1992 01:29:48,716 --> 01:29:50,551 Are you dating Steve? 1993 01:29:51,252 --> 01:29:53,221 What? No. 1994 01:29:57,125 --> 01:29:59,826 - Let's be monogamous. - Oh! 1995 01:29:59,827 --> 01:30:01,194 Let's be monogamous right now! 1996 01:30:01,195 --> 01:30:02,964 - Yeah! - Yeah! 1997 01:30:03,865 --> 01:30:05,900 - Candy: Oh! - Ow. 1998 01:30:07,535 --> 01:30:08,102 Mm-hmm! 1999 01:30:08,103 --> 01:30:10,137 I am going to get the biggest cosmo they got. 2000 01:30:10,138 --> 01:30:12,105 - Make it a double. - Oh, I just love your boots. 2001 01:30:12,106 --> 01:30:14,809 - They're gorgeous. - Right? I know. Right? 2002 01:30:15,076 --> 01:30:17,210 - Excuse me. - Yes? 2003 01:30:17,211 --> 01:30:20,591 Are you the priest from St. Francis of assisi? 2004 01:30:20,615 --> 01:30:22,549 Yes, I used to be. 2005 01:30:22,550 --> 01:30:25,653 I used to go to your church when I was a kid. 2006 01:30:26,120 --> 01:30:27,554 Oh! 2007 01:30:27,555 --> 01:30:29,456 - Well. - Yeah. 2008 01:30:29,457 --> 01:30:30,925 Hmm. 2009 01:30:31,659 --> 01:30:33,727 Didn't you used to preach that no one should have sex 2010 01:30:33,728 --> 01:30:35,862 unless it was for the purpose of procreation? 2011 01:30:35,863 --> 01:30:37,631 Oh, I used to say a lot of stuff. 2012 01:30:37,632 --> 01:30:39,533 - Frank: Mm-hmm. - Now I just do what feels good. 2013 01:30:39,534 --> 01:30:42,569 - And what feels good is frank. - Mm-hmm! 2014 01:30:42,570 --> 01:30:44,838 Excuse me. But... But what about people 2015 01:30:44,839 --> 01:30:45,839 who listened to what you said 2016 01:30:45,840 --> 01:30:48,074 and then they spent their lives feeling tormented? 2017 01:30:48,075 --> 01:30:49,777 And what about hell? 2018 01:30:50,745 --> 01:30:52,246 Sorry? 2019 01:30:56,617 --> 01:30:58,018 Don't torment yourself. 2020 01:30:58,019 --> 01:31:00,988 I think god wants us to be happy. 2021 01:31:04,325 --> 01:31:07,662 - So uncomfortable. - Right? I know. 2022 01:31:09,597 --> 01:31:12,566 I know you're gonna talk at Ted one day. 2023 01:31:12,567 --> 01:31:14,434 You are so great. 2024 01:31:14,435 --> 01:31:15,769 I love you. 2025 01:31:15,770 --> 01:31:18,606 I love you. Thank you. 2026 01:31:20,908 --> 01:31:23,510 You know, honey got me that unicorn. 2027 01:31:23,511 --> 01:31:25,279 It's so cute! 2028 01:31:25,580 --> 01:31:27,448 Unicorns are lame. 2029 01:31:30,618 --> 01:31:32,520 You don't like unicorns? 2030 01:31:33,488 --> 01:31:35,322 - Eh. - What? 2031 01:31:35,323 --> 01:31:37,491 I... I just... 2032 01:31:37,492 --> 01:31:39,736 I'm not crazy about 'em. 2033 01:31:39,760 --> 01:31:42,697 How can you not like unicorns? 2034 01:31:43,130 --> 01:31:45,131 I... I think they're creepy. 2035 01:31:45,132 --> 01:31:46,366 - Creepy? - Yes, 2036 01:31:46,367 --> 01:31:49,102 especially when they're looking over the bed. 2037 01:31:49,103 --> 01:31:51,204 Look, a human interacting with a computer 2038 01:31:51,205 --> 01:31:53,907 is interesting, you know? But when a human interacts 2039 01:31:53,908 --> 01:31:55,710 with a unicorn... 2040 01:31:56,544 --> 01:32:00,113 - Not as much, okay? - Unicorns are interesting. 2041 01:32:00,114 --> 01:32:02,215 I just... I think you're a beautiful, 2042 01:32:02,216 --> 01:32:03,150 lovely, attractive woman. 2043 01:32:03,151 --> 01:32:06,052 I think you should just limit how much you talk about unicorns 2044 01:32:06,053 --> 01:32:07,220 in front of people, okay? 2045 01:32:07,221 --> 01:32:08,788 I just don't want you to be uncomfortable 2046 01:32:08,789 --> 01:32:10,056 when you meet the Ted people. 2047 01:32:10,057 --> 01:32:12,993 So maybe not, you know, don't talk about them too much 2048 01:32:12,994 --> 01:32:14,729 in front of everyone. 2049 01:32:19,500 --> 01:32:20,768 Huh. 2050 01:32:21,702 --> 01:32:24,572 I want to be monogamous, but not with you. 2051 01:32:25,706 --> 01:32:28,609 - What? - I want to date other people. 2052 01:32:29,477 --> 01:32:31,045 Are... are you kidding? 2053 01:32:31,812 --> 01:32:33,447 I'm a unicorn. 2054 01:32:33,915 --> 01:32:35,449 What? I... 2055 01:32:35,716 --> 01:32:36,651 What are you saying? 2056 01:32:36,652 --> 01:32:40,454 You don't like unicorns, and that's a deal breaker. 2057 01:32:42,390 --> 01:32:44,158 Let's be friends. 2058 01:32:59,840 --> 01:33:02,209 ♪ Ooh ♪ 2059 01:33:05,546 --> 01:33:08,215 ♪ that feels ♪ 2060 01:33:09,350 --> 01:33:11,552 ♪ inside ♪ 2061 01:33:13,688 --> 01:33:17,124 ♪ All I ever want ♪ 2062 01:33:17,425 --> 01:33:20,927 ♪ all I could ever need ♪ 2063 01:33:20,928 --> 01:33:25,866 ♪ you and I ♪ 2064 01:33:28,302 --> 01:33:33,074 ♪ you and I ♪ 2065 01:33:33,641 --> 01:33:35,342 Woman: You are loved. 2066 01:33:35,343 --> 01:33:39,279 This feeling is always inside of you. 2067 01:33:39,280 --> 01:33:42,716 ♪ And all I could ever see ♪ 2068 01:33:42,717 --> 01:33:45,919 ♪ all I could ever want ♪ 2069 01:33:45,920 --> 01:33:50,458 ♪ all I could ever need is you ♪ 2070 01:34:04,271 --> 01:34:07,084 Hey. 2071 01:34:07,108 --> 01:34:07,975 What are you doing here? 2072 01:34:07,976 --> 01:34:11,044 Um, I wrote the script about the witches. 2073 01:34:11,045 --> 01:34:12,912 Honey, that's incredible. 2074 01:34:12,913 --> 01:34:15,915 Wow, that's great. 2075 01:34:15,916 --> 01:34:18,318 How... how did you know where I live? 2076 01:34:18,319 --> 01:34:20,854 I stole Peter's contacts, yo. 2077 01:34:20,855 --> 01:34:23,124 You know, you're really nice to me. 2078 01:34:23,791 --> 01:34:25,626 And nice is sexy. 2079 01:34:25,893 --> 01:34:26,694 Nice is sexy, yo. 2080 01:34:26,695 --> 01:34:28,795 ♪ I learned this 'cause I've been nicer to myself ♪ 2081 01:34:28,796 --> 01:34:31,898 ♪ and now I see it see I'm like a little tree ♪ 2082 01:34:31,899 --> 01:34:33,199 ♪ I need to nurture myself ♪ 2083 01:34:33,200 --> 01:34:35,301 ♪ with some happy little thoughts ♪ 2084 01:34:35,302 --> 01:34:37,003 ♪ and that's what I did yo ♪ 2085 01:34:37,004 --> 01:34:38,638 Da-da-dum, blossom. 2086 01:34:39,574 --> 01:34:41,575 Do you want to go on a date? 2087 01:34:42,276 --> 01:34:45,212 More than ever. 2088 01:34:46,547 --> 01:34:48,048 Ta-dah! 2089 01:34:48,049 --> 01:34:50,483 - Aw! - We're so proud of you. 2090 01:34:50,484 --> 01:34:51,419 Yeah! 2091 01:34:51,420 --> 01:34:52,919 You're the orgasming champion! 2092 01:34:52,920 --> 01:34:55,155 - Honey: Oh, thank you. - And the masturbating champion! 2093 01:34:55,156 --> 01:34:57,490 I'm not sure who I was competing against, 2094 01:34:57,491 --> 01:34:59,025 but I'm glad I won! 2095 01:34:59,026 --> 01:35:01,194 I want to light a candle for our friendship, 2096 01:35:01,195 --> 01:35:03,630 'cause I'm really grateful for you guys. 2097 01:35:12,640 --> 01:35:15,810 I heard this music and it made me think of you. 2098 01:35:23,284 --> 01:35:27,654 ♪ Just for once don't you wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2099 01:35:27,655 --> 01:35:29,989 ♪ is real is real is real ♪ 2100 01:35:29,990 --> 01:35:34,194 ♪ just for once don't you wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2101 01:35:34,195 --> 01:35:36,429 ♪ is real is real is real ♪ 2102 01:35:36,430 --> 01:35:40,867 ♪ just for once don't you wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2103 01:35:40,868 --> 01:35:43,269 ♪ is real is real is real ♪ 2104 01:35:43,270 --> 01:35:47,474 ♪ just for once don't you wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2105 01:35:47,475 --> 01:35:50,009 ♪ is real is real is real ♪ 2106 01:35:50,010 --> 01:35:53,113 ♪ a kiss good night a kiss by darkness ♪ 2107 01:35:53,114 --> 01:35:56,049 ♪ a kiss to all the end of rain ♪ 2108 01:35:56,050 --> 01:35:59,385 ♪ to stall this night to stall this darkness ♪ 2109 01:35:59,386 --> 01:36:02,822 ♪ to stall this night to the end of days ♪ 2110 01:36:02,823 --> 01:36:06,993 ♪ just for once don't you wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2111 01:36:06,994 --> 01:36:09,463 Cut! 2112 01:36:09,730 --> 01:36:13,299 ♪ Don't you wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2113 01:36:13,300 --> 01:36:17,103 ♪ don't you wanna have something to feel ♪ 2114 01:36:17,104 --> 01:36:17,972 ♪ one life ♪ 2115 01:36:17,973 --> 01:36:22,175 ♪ and the world will open doorways ♪ 2116 01:36:22,176 --> 01:36:24,611 All: I love my pussy! 2117 01:36:24,612 --> 01:36:28,983 - Yes to orgasms! - All: Yes to orgasms! 2118 01:36:29,183 --> 01:36:32,018 Yes 2119 01:36:32,019 --> 01:36:34,721 to orgasms! 2120 01:36:34,722 --> 01:36:38,024 All: Yes to orgasms! 2121 01:36:38,025 --> 01:36:41,728 Masters and Johnson taught us that an orgasm was just, 2122 01:36:41,729 --> 01:36:44,631 you know, like, up, down, like, quick. 2123 01:36:44,632 --> 01:36:47,567 It isn't. You can train yourself 2124 01:36:47,568 --> 01:36:49,102 to have an extended, 2125 01:36:49,103 --> 01:36:53,641 massive orgasm. Isn't that amazing? 2126 01:36:54,141 --> 01:36:55,575 Who here would like to learn 2127 01:36:55,576 --> 01:36:59,312 how to have an extended, massive orgasm? 2128 01:37:01,315 --> 01:37:03,683 Who here would like to learn how to have 2129 01:37:03,684 --> 01:37:05,919 an earth-shattering orgasm? 2130 01:37:09,256 --> 01:37:14,595 ♪ And I will believe in us ♪ 2131 01:37:18,265 --> 01:37:19,966 I tell my pussy that I love her. 2132 01:37:19,967 --> 01:37:23,203 I love you, pussy. I love you. I love you so much. 2133 01:37:23,204 --> 01:37:27,775 You're a sweet, sweet, sweet little puss. 2134 01:37:29,543 --> 01:37:34,215 ♪ I will believe in you ♪ 2135 01:37:35,716 --> 01:37:40,988 ♪ and I will believe in us ♪ 2136 01:37:41,989 --> 01:37:47,528 ♪ and I will believe that all of this is true ♪ 2137 01:37:48,796 --> 01:37:55,201 ♪ and I will believe in us tonight ♪ 2138 01:37:55,202 --> 01:37:56,070 ♪ tonight ♪ 2139 01:37:56,071 --> 01:37:59,706 ♪ just for once don't you wanna know magic is real ♪ 2140 01:37:59,707 --> 01:38:02,175 ♪ is real is real is real ♪ 2141 01:38:02,176 --> 01:38:06,412 ♪ just for once don't you wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2142 01:38:06,413 --> 01:38:08,848 ♪ is real is real is real ♪ 2143 01:38:08,849 --> 01:38:13,119 ♪ just for once don't you wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2144 01:38:13,120 --> 01:38:15,455 ♪ is real is real is real ♪ 2145 01:38:15,456 --> 01:38:19,559 ♪ just for once don't you wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2146 01:38:19,560 --> 01:38:22,061 ♪ is real is real is real ♪ 2147 01:38:22,062 --> 01:38:25,531 ♪ a kiss goodnight a kiss by darkness ♪ 2148 01:38:25,532 --> 01:38:28,501 ♪ a kiss to all the end of rain ♪ 2149 01:38:28,502 --> 01:38:31,938 ♪ to stall this night to stall this darkness ♪ 2150 01:38:31,939 --> 01:38:35,308 ♪ to stall this night till the end of days ♪ 2151 01:38:35,309 --> 01:38:40,547 ♪ just for once don't you wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2152 01:38:55,963 --> 01:38:57,163 ♪ Just for once ♪ 2153 01:38:57,164 --> 01:39:01,969 ♪ just for once don't you wanna know ♪ 2154 01:39:02,703 --> 01:39:03,736 ♪ just for once ♪ 2155 01:39:03,737 --> 01:39:08,275 ♪ just for once don't you wanna know ♪ 2156 01:39:08,475 --> 01:39:12,745 ♪ just for once don't you wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2157 01:39:12,746 --> 01:39:15,114 ♪ is real is real is real ♪ 2158 01:39:15,115 --> 01:39:19,285 ♪ just for once don't you wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2159 01:39:19,286 --> 01:39:21,721 ♪ is real is real is real ♪ 2160 01:39:21,722 --> 01:39:25,825 ♪ just for once don't you wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2161 01:39:25,826 --> 01:39:28,328 ♪ is real is real is real ♪ 2162 01:39:28,329 --> 01:39:32,398 ♪ just for once don't you wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2163 01:39:32,399 --> 01:39:35,001 ♪ is real is real is real ♪ 2164 01:39:35,002 --> 01:39:39,005 ♪ just for once don't you wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2165 01:39:39,006 --> 01:39:41,641 ♪ is real is real is real ♪ 2166 01:39:41,642 --> 01:39:45,845 ♪ just for once don't you wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2167 01:39:45,846 --> 01:39:50,084 ♪ is real is real is real ♪ 2168 01:39:54,722 --> 01:39:58,925 Presenting 2169 01:39:58,926 --> 01:40:00,059 pussy! 156083