All language subtitles for Bunkd.S03E13_English

♪♪

(MUSIC PLAYING)

Well, after last night's
unfortunate events,

we are out of
bear attack report forms

and gauze.

So, I am off to town.

I told you that outdoor
jerky-drying festival
was a bad idea.

And don't buy
any more of those
honey-scented candles.

Salmon scented it is.

All right.

Let's get this party started.

You guys want to carbon-date
the wood on these tables?

Nope. I'm not ready
to party quite that hard.

Okay.

You guys wanna go play pool?

Nope. Boring.

Besides, all the cue sticks
are broken, thanks to you.

We were riding horses.

What else was I supposed
to use as a jousting lance?

Nothing!

We were just taking
a peaceful ride
on a scenic trail.

That's why it was
the perfect time to attack.

Huh. I've never
noticed this game.

You guys wanna play
"Jungle Rescue"?

Yeah!
Nope.

(SIGHS) Destiny,
you never listen to us.

Yeah, you always
dismiss our ideas.

We always have to do
what you want.

That is so not true.

Then why are
our nails green?

To be fair,
most of yours is fungus.

Not true.

Some of these
are boogers.

And this is why
we always do what I say.

ALL:
♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka

ALL:
♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka

ALL:
♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka ♪

Hey, I've got good news.

The kids in Bunny Cabin
stopped puking from
Ravi's reheated possum loaf?

No, apparently that stuff
keeps coming up for days.

And that's why I got that
extra-liability insurance.

And buckets.

You're welcome.

Anyway, (GASPS)
the great news is,

I'm gonna be
a Fightin' Locust.

Seems a little early
to be planning
your Halloween costume.

No, that's the mascot for
Eastern Ohio State University,

the college that
I just got into.

I'm gonna study be a teacher.

(GASPS) Lou, That's amazing.

I'm so happy for you.

Me too.
And it's perfect timing.

You can tell your mom
when she comes to visit today.

She's gonna be
so proud of you.

I hope so.

The truth is,

Hockhausers have
always just worked
on the family farm.

So you'd be the first one
to go to college?

Yep. Unless you count
my Aunt Tilda.

She graduated from
Betsy's Beauty Bus.

So, technically, she
didn't go to college,
college came to her.

Is this one of those games
where you stick a card
to your forehead?

No, but knowing you,
you'll do it anyway.

Ooh, it says the object
of the game is to
rescue Safari Jim.

(GASPS) While avoiding
dangerous obstacles

in an overgrown jungle.
(CHUCKLES)

Come on, Destiny.
Play with us.

Nope. And you guys
should not be playing
that stupid game either,

because your nails aren't dry.

It's not stupid.
Check it out.

This guy is called
The Professor,

and he has a sick boomerang
around his neck.

That's a bowtie.

And this Python dude
has a barbed wire tattoo
around his bicep.

I'm gonna get me one of those.

You'd need a bicep first.

Hey, Destiny, you can be
the assistant character.

Assistant to you dummies?

Nope.

(EERIE MUSIC PLAYING)

(ALL GROANING)

What happened?
Where are we?

This is how I felt after Finn
knocked me off my horse

with that pool cue.

Jousting lance.

Wait, I'm wearing
a bowtie,

and I know what a bowtie is.

I'm a genius now!

And you look just like
that Professor character.

Guys,

I think somehow we wound up
in the board game.

That's crazy.

No, I think he's right.

(GASPS)
Check out that tattoo
on your arm.

You must be Python.

Cool! I bet I'm super strong!

Awesome! And now rocks
will be afraid
of being thrown at me.

Wait, why is everything
so blurry?

Oh, put on your glasses.

Oh, that's better.

Wait, I wear glasses?

That's the least
of your problems.

Look in the mirror.

(SCREAMS)

My curls are gone!

(PANTING) Who am I?

Well, if I'm the Professor,

and he's Python,

that makes you...

BOTH: Our assistant!

(SCREAMS)

I'm the Assistant.

I hope this picnic lunch
softens the blow

when I break
my college news to Mama.

Oh, relax, you said
you guys are best friends.

Although, you said
the same thing about us.

So, I guess you just
throw that term around.

(GASPS)
There's the corn
to my bread.

There's the butter
to my biscuit.

Lou-Lou!
Mama!

(LAUGHTER)

Guys, this is
my mama, Dixie.

So nice to finally meet you.

(GASPS) You must be Emma.

Lou-Lou's told me
so much about you.

Wow, it's true.
Her head is huge.

(CHUCKLES) Right?

In school, everyone
called her a bobblehead.

No, that was just you.

And this sweet girl
must be Zuri,

the one who snores
like a fog horn.
(IMITATES HORN BLARING)

Mama, (CHUCKLES)

remember what
we talked about.

Just cause you
think something,

doesn't mean you have
to say it out loud.

Oh, that's right.

Then I won't mention
how badly they underpay you.
(SIGHS)

Oh, don't worry,
Lou mentions that
to us all the time.

We choose to ignore it.

So, Mama,
I have some big news
to tell you...

Hold on, Lou-Lou.

First, I have a big ol'
surprise for you.

It is a quilt that I've been
secretly stitching for you

since the day you were born.

Oh, my goodness!

You made this for me, Mama?
It's beautiful.

It has a patch for every
important moment in your life.

This one is the blouse
from when you lost
your first tooth

(GASPS) And look,
there's the tooth.

Ew!

I mean...

Aww.

And as a special surprise,

this weekend,
I thought I would
sew on the final patch,

which represents
you continuing
the Hockhauser legacy

by taking over
the family farm.

(SNIFFLING) Oh, my gosh,
here come the waterworks.

Oh, sorry.

Hold it in, Mama.

You know when you cry,
I cry.

Sorry.
Okay, Lou-Lou,

now what was that big news
you wanted to tell me?

Yeah, Lou, tell your mom
that you got into...

Butter churning!

I got into butter churning.

And, you know what,
you were right, Mama,
it's a great workout.

I told you!

Now, Emma, I am curious.

Do you have to order
custom-made hats?

(CHUCKLES)
I like this lady.

(CHUCKLES)

We've gotta get out
of this stupid game.

Nope. This place is awesome.

(GASPS) Look, there's
a Colossus Oryctes Nasicornis.

(SCREAMS)

Aww, you scared him away.

I scared him?

Let's look for more
entomological curiosities.

(GASPS) I'm so passing
first grade this year.

Hey, guys, check this out.

Why are you carrying
that tree trunk?

'Cause I can.

How are we going to
get out of this game

and get me into some clothes
with less pockets?

G'day, mates.

Ravi!

Ravi? What kind of
a name is that?

That guy sounds
like a real bogan.

Name's Safari Jim.

I'm the only bloke
who can get you back home.

Yes. Please take us home.

(SIGHS) No worries,
little lady.

But first, is anyone hungry?

Earlier today, I tossed some
beetle meat on the barbie.

We're good, thanks.

Hold down.

Allow me to posit this query.

If the object of the game
is to rescue Safari Jim,

then what exactly
are we rescuing him from?

Undercooked beetle meat?

(FOOTSTEPS THUMPING)

Ah. Well, that giant rhino,
for starters.

(GROWLING)

(KIDS SCREAMING)

Crikey!

(GRUNTING)

I hope he has
a rhino attack report form.

(RHINO GRUNTING)
(CLOTHES RIPPING)

SAFARI JIM: Ouch!
And gauze.

Lou, I know you're nervous,

but you need to break it
to your mom that you
want to be a teacher,

not a farmer.

Yeah, tell her the truth.

She'll get it.

She tells everybody
the truth.

No kidding.

She told Ravi
he was small enough
to fit inside her purse.

Then she tried to prove it.

You guys don't understand.

I can't go against
Mama's wishes.

We hardly ever disagree.

Really?

Well, once she wanted to watch
The Donkey Bachelor,

and I wanted to watch
The Donkey Bachelorette.

So we compromised and
watched Extreme Barn Makeover.

You should've seen the look
on those chickens' faces

when they saw
their fancy new coop.

That's...

Odd.

But Lou, this is your life,
not your mom's.

Um, maybe you guys are right
and Mama will understand.

We are best friends.

(CLEARS THROAT)

As are we.

It's too late, Lou.

Guys. We have to
rescue Safari Jim.

If we do that,
the game will be over,

and I can stop wearing khaki.

Hey, look!

Safari Jim dropped
his backpack
running from the rhino.

Maybe there's something in it
that can help us find him.

(GASPS) Look, a map.

This big, red "X" must be
where Safari Jim is.

We can take this
main path to get there.

Nope. We're going this way.

But it's labeled
"Extreme Danger."

Which is what makes it fun.

(TENSE MUSIC PLAYING)

Uh-oh!
What's happening?

It appears we're stuck
in a colloid hydrogel
consisting of...

Just say quicksand, smart guy!

And why aren't
you helping us?

Sorry, I'm just enjoying
being taller than you.

Mama.
Mmm-hmm.

I think we need to talk.

Oh, no. Your daddy
said that to me once,

and you know what came next?

He wanted to switch
to turkey bacon.

(SIGHS)
I hope this goes well.

Or really badly in a fun way.

Mama.
Mmm-hmm.

You see, the thing is,

I don't really want to
take over the family farm.

I want to go to college
and become a teacher.

Oh.

(SIGHS) College?

Yes, ma'am.
It's my dream.

But eight generations
of Hockhausers

have stayed home
and worked the farm.

And now you think you're
too good for it, Louella?

Her real name is "Louella"?

(SCOFFS) I owe Ravi
five bucks.

I don't think
I'm too good for it.

Well, it sure sounds like it.

Suddenly, I don't even
recognize you.

You're like
that chicken coop

at the end
of Extreme Barn Makeover.

Mama...

I can't talk
about this right now.

I need to finish this quilt,

so you can have it
when you take your
rightful place at the farm.

Quit it with the dang quilt.

This is my life
we're talking about.

Well, give that back!
Not until we talk!

(GRUNTING) Stop.

(GASPS) Well,

I hope you're happy, Louella.

You have literally
ripped this family apart!

(SIGHS) That was tough
to watch.

Zuri, are you crying?

No.

Lou's baby tooth
hit me in the eye.

Help us!

This is fascinating.

I feel the quicksand starting
to compress my lungs,

which will lead
to a pulmonary...
Throw me a branch,

so I can either crawl
out of here, or hit him
and die in peace.

(PANTING)

I've got a better idea.

(BOTH STRUGGLING)

Quick, grab the vine!

(GRUNTS) Got it!

Hold on.

(BOTH PANTING)

Man, that was close.

Yeah. Thanks, dude.
Your super strength saved us.

Five words I never thought
I'd hear directed at me.

Okay, since your
stupid shortcut
almost got us killed,

we're heading back
to the main path.

Nope. Your way
is as boring as your outfit.

Besides, with
the Professor's brain

and my ability
to lift random things,

there's nothing
we can't get through.

You know what?

I am sick and tired
of you guys
not listening to me.

I am going back
to the main path

and you can find yourselves
another Assistant

because I quit.

Fine! But if you think

you're gonna get a letter
of recommendation from us,

you are sadly mistaken!

I cannot believe Louella
would betray our family.

No, she's not trying
to betray you.

And those are our towels.

That'll be 50 dollars.
We take cheques.

Hey, Mama,
can we please talk about...

Wait. You're leaving?

Would one of you young ladies
please tell
my cold-hearted daughter

that, yes, I am leaving.

Oh, so you're not
speaking to me now. Fine.

Emma, would you please tell
my even colder-hearted mother
that she is being unfair.

Um, cold-hearted mom,

your cold-hearted daughter
says that...

You can tell her she should
think about what it's like
to have your only child

rip up your family legacy
and poop on it.

Okay, the poop part
is a metaphor,
but the rippin' was very real.

Uh, your mom said...

You tell her,

the only poop on that quilt

is a very unflattering
potty training patch.

Okay, I'm out.

Mama, I can't believe
you don't want me
to live the life that I want.

What I want is to keep
the family tradition alive.

I thought that
mattered to you too.

Well, it seems like you care
more about that tradition

than you care about
your own daughter.

That is not true.

It is so.

Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have a class to teach.

Have a nice trip home.

Actually,

I hope you eat a gas station
egg-salad sandwich

and have to use
the bathroom on the bus.

On the bright side,
at least you two
are talking again.

I just don't understand.

Lou has spent her whole life
birthing calves

and slopping hogs.

How could she
wanna leave that?

I feel like that
question answers itself.

You know, farming isn't
the only thing
Lou has spent her life doing.

She's also been here at camp,
every summer,
helping out kids.

Here, come look.

LOU: Duck. Duck.

See that?
Goose.

(KIDS SCREAMING)

EMMA: They love her so much.

And she's so great with them.

Which is why she would be
such an amazing teacher.

Aww. Lou-Lou used to play
"Duck, Duck, Goose"
with our piglets.

Which really confused
our ducks and geese.

Help! Help!

I'm super strong,
but this web is super sticky.

Yes, the silk
of a spider's web

has a strength to density
ratio exceeding that of steel.

Isn't that fascinating?

I should've left you
in the quicksand.

Oh, hey. I see your shortcut
worked out well.

Clowns.

That is no way
to speak to your bosses.

Yeah, you can forget
about that Christmas bonus.

For the last time,

I am not your assistant.

So, do you guys know
where Safari Jim is?

Maybe. We assume he's
that lump in the hat.

SAFARI JIM: Please help me
outta here!

Come on. Climb up the web
and free us,

so we can rescue Safari Jim
and get out of the game.

SAFARI JIM: Yeah, please!
We're about to be eaten alive!

And I've an itch on my nose.

Simon says
take a step forward.

Simon says take a step back.

Simon says raise your hand

if you feel like
a person should be able
to follow their dreams

without being made
to feel like a traitor.

Louella, can we talk?

Are you here to destroy
these kids' dreams, too?

Best to do it
while they're young.

Simon says, stand on one leg.

Wow, those kids
really listen to you.

They have to.

I'm Simon.

And once you've trained
a rebellious goat,

children are a piece of cake.

Oh, you really
did set Billie straight.

Since you trained him,

he has not eaten
a single tractor carburetor.

Although, he still loves
a good hubcap.

He is an emotional eater.
Oh.

Has he suffered
any trauma lately?

Well,

we ate his brother.

That'll do it.

Yeah. (CHUCKLES)

Oh, I'm sorry we fought,
Lou-Lou.

Me too, Mama.

But I'm happy you came
so you could see what I do.

You know, all this time,
I thought you were coming
to camp every summer,

because you didn't like seein'
your dad on the tractor
in his short shorts.

Well, that's just
an added perk.

But now I see it's
because you really love
working with kids.

Yes, ma'am.
Mmm.

I feel like teaching
is what I was born to do.

But not if it means
disappointing you.

If you really want me
to take over the farm,

I will.

You know,

I once read on
a fancy restaurant napkin

that if you love something,

you have to let it go.

So I threw my pork chop
out the window.

But now I'm thinking,
what it meant is,

I should let you
follow your dream.

Really, Mama?

Of course, darlin'.

Oh, forgive me for getting
so mad at you.

The truth is, I was scared
about losing my daughter.

You're not gonna
lose me, Mama.

I'll come home
for Thanksgiving,

Christmas, Spring Break.

Well, maybe not Spring Break.

I want to go
somewhere exotic.

(GASPS) Like Des Moines.

Uff, Des Moines.

Wow, you college kids
are so highfalutin.

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

Hurry up before
the spider comes back.

Don't worry. It will inject us
with a paralyzing neurotoxin,

so we'll barely feel it
when it bites our heads off
and sucks out our insides.

Oddly enough,
I'm still worried.

Look, I made stilts.

We're about to be eaten alive,

and you joined the circus?

No, I'm rescuing you.

Although I'm not sure why.

You know, if you cut the web
at a 45 degree angle,

it would be
a more effective way to...

(FINN SCREAMING)

Ow!

Seemed pretty effective to me.

You got anything to say?

Thank you?

(BOTH GRUNTING)

DESTINY: You're welcome.

Now, we have to save
Safari Jim

so we can get out of here.

Don't worry,
we'll take it from here.

Seriously?

I just saved your lives

and now I'm regretting it.

Boy, that was harsh.

No, what's harsh is you guys
dismissing every idea I have.

(SCREECHING)

Uh, um, okay.

Uh, uh, but...

No, this time you're
going to hear me out.

The thing is...
Stop!

It really hurts my feelings
when you don't listen to me.

And if we all work
together, we can save...

Safari Jim?

That's what we were
trying to tell you.

The arachnid ate him.

But saving Safari Jim
was our only chance
to get back to camp.

Now we're stuck
in this stupid game forever!

(THUMPING)

(SPIDER SCREECHING)

(SHUDDERS)

(HISSING)

Actually, we'll be stuck
in that spider's stomach.

(SCREAMING)

She must have had
that "Losing a pageant"
dream again.

Ravi. You're not a skeleton.

Aww, thank you.

I have put on a few LBs.

You might even say I'm...

"Swole." (CHUCKLES)

Okay.

Destiny, are you okay?

Yeah, I'm just happy
to be back.

Back from where?

You fell asleep
reading that magazine.

Reading puts me to sleep, too.

Last time I opened
a fortune cookie,

I read, "You will..."

then woke up
three hours later.

Yup, I'm definitely back.

And guys, I'm really sorry
that I don't listen to you.

Is she apologizing?

It must be a trap.

No, really.

From now on, I wanna do
whatever you wanna do.

Great.

Do you want to play
Jungle Rescue with us?

No!

Told you it was a trap.

I am so excited
to go to college.

I can't believe I'm gonna
be a Fightin' Locust.

You know they're the cutest
of all the plagues.

(CHUCKLES)

And don't forget, you promised
to come home and visit a lot.

(GASPS) We can binge watch
Million Dollar Outhouse.

We have a surprise
for you two.

Oh, are you finally going
to pay my Lou-Lou
what she's worth?

Lady, I got overhead.

We fixed your quilt for you.

(GASPS) Aww, thanks, guys.

And we even made
a new quilt square.

(GASPS) Oh, stick people.

Oh, you had the little kids
make that for us.

Well, if that ain't the
sweetest thing I ever saw.

Uh, no.
We made this ourselves.

Oh, well, in that case,
it is the ugliest,
sorriest excuse for a...

Best patch I ever saw.

I love it.

Oh, thank you,
Foghorn and Bobblehead.

(WHISPERS) Don't worry,
she's leaving tonight.