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1
00:00:00,067 --> 00:00:02,668
♪♪
2
00:00:02,670 --> 00:00:04,770
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
3
00:00:07,108 --> 00:00:09,158
Evening, campers!
4
00:00:09,159 --> 00:00:11,209
I have a special
announcement that might come
as a surprise to you all,
5
00:00:11,212 --> 00:00:15,247
so please, sallow your food.
Don't want any mountain
of brown spit takes.
6
00:00:15,249 --> 00:00:17,216
Please welcome
your new camp director...
7
00:00:17,218 --> 00:00:18,450
Hiya losers!
8
00:00:20,755 --> 00:00:22,354
Why didn't I listen?
9
00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:26,425
Every few years,
the Southern North East
Camp Directors' Conference
10
00:00:26,427 --> 00:00:28,611
puts on a director
swap program.
11
00:00:28,612 --> 00:00:30,796
The goal is to teach
new skills and to
broaden perspectives.
12
00:00:30,798 --> 00:00:34,333
Past directors got
to swap with the camp
for junior pest exterminators,
13
00:00:34,335 --> 00:00:37,136
but lucky me,
I got Camp Champion.
14
00:00:37,138 --> 00:00:41,040
And I got Kikiwaka,
a camp for junior pests.
15
00:00:41,042 --> 00:00:43,242
Well, we accept
everyone here.
16
00:00:43,244 --> 00:00:44,710
Well, it shows.
17
00:00:44,712 --> 00:00:46,145
(BOTH LAUGHING LOUDLY)
18
00:00:47,048 --> 00:00:48,280
(BOTH SIGH)
19
00:00:48,282 --> 00:00:50,549
I really hate
when they do that.
20
00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:55,254
I will be subbing
as the camp director of
Camp Champion for the week,
21
00:00:55,256 --> 00:00:57,256
while Barb runs
things here.
22
00:00:57,258 --> 00:00:58,690
I'm sure we'll both
have a great time.
23
00:00:58,692 --> 00:01:00,225
Oh, I don't think
you will.
24
00:01:00,227 --> 00:01:02,094
There's a chain of command
over there,
25
00:01:02,096 --> 00:01:03,395
and you don't know
where I hid it.
26
00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:05,130
Well, there's
five broken toilets here,
27
00:01:05,132 --> 00:01:06,665
and you're gonna wish
I hid those.
28
00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:08,333
(BOTH LAUGHING LOUDLY)
29
00:01:09,136 --> 00:01:10,169
Have fun, y'all!
30
00:01:12,206 --> 00:01:13,372
(BLOWS WHISTLE)
31
00:01:13,374 --> 00:01:16,208
Listen up, Camp Kikikaka.
32
00:01:16,210 --> 00:01:17,676
Now that I'm in charge,
33
00:01:17,678 --> 00:01:21,246
it's time to turn
you losers into champions.
34
00:01:21,248 --> 00:01:23,449
Barb, Noah. We've met.
35
00:01:23,451 --> 00:01:26,218
Allow me to offer
my services as your
number two in command.
36
00:01:26,220 --> 00:01:28,187
Yeah, I don't need
a number two.
37
00:01:28,189 --> 00:01:30,222
You're just saying that
cause you've
never experienced
38
00:01:30,224 --> 00:01:31,857
a really solid
number two.
39
00:01:33,294 --> 00:01:34,693
I just heard it.
Gonna sit down now.
40
00:01:34,695 --> 00:01:36,562
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
41
00:01:36,564 --> 00:01:39,164
♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka
42
00:01:39,166 --> 00:01:41,433
♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka
43
00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:45,237
♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka ♪
44
00:01:52,313 --> 00:01:54,113
(WHISTLE BLOWING)
45
00:01:54,115 --> 00:01:55,714
Rise and shine, maggots!
46
00:01:55,716 --> 00:01:58,350
It's time for
morning calisthenics.
47
00:01:58,352 --> 00:02:01,687
What's her problem?
Everyone knows that
maggots sleep in.
48
00:02:03,491 --> 00:02:06,225
All right. We're gonna
do some rapid-fire push-ups,
49
00:02:06,227 --> 00:02:08,293
squats, lunges, crunches.
50
00:02:08,295 --> 00:02:10,429
Then, start the workout.
51
00:02:10,431 --> 00:02:12,164
Line up, weaklings.
52
00:02:12,166 --> 00:02:14,266
I just woke up
from a nightmare,
53
00:02:14,268 --> 00:02:17,336
where I was drowning
in a pit of
suffocating darkness.
54
00:02:18,205 --> 00:02:19,304
I miss it.
55
00:02:20,174 --> 00:02:22,374
Barb, what are you doing?
56
00:02:22,376 --> 00:02:23,809
It's 6:00 in the morning.
57
00:02:23,811 --> 00:02:27,179
Yeah. I let you
sleep in an extra hour.
58
00:02:27,181 --> 00:02:30,215
How about a, "We love you,
benevolent overlord?"
59
00:02:32,620 --> 00:02:34,153
As your number two,
I'm here to help.
60
00:02:34,155 --> 00:02:37,256
Ugh. Everyone, drop down
and give me 20.
61
00:02:37,258 --> 00:02:39,825
You heard the lady.
Drop down and give her 20.
62
00:02:39,827 --> 00:02:41,193
Twenty, what?
63
00:02:41,929 --> 00:02:43,362
Push-ups.
Got it.
64
00:02:43,364 --> 00:02:46,532
Is that the one
where I stand on
my tushie or my tum-tum?
65
00:02:47,735 --> 00:02:49,501
No worries.
I'll improvise.
66
00:02:50,738 --> 00:02:51,803
(BLOWS WHISTLE)
67
00:02:53,574 --> 00:02:54,740
(STRAINING) One.
68
00:02:55,943 --> 00:02:58,277
Mmm. Grassy.
69
00:03:00,114 --> 00:03:02,347
Barb, I don't know
about Camp Champion,
70
00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:05,184
but here, we like
to have fun.
71
00:03:05,186 --> 00:03:06,718
Camp is about
enjoying yourself.
72
00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:09,204
My parents always said,
73
00:03:09,205 --> 00:03:11,689
"If you're having fun, you're
not getting things done."
74
00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:13,592
Until they realized
that rhyming was fun.
75
00:03:13,594 --> 00:03:15,778
Then they just said,
76
00:03:15,779 --> 00:03:17,963
"If you're having fun,
you're not accomplishing
anything."
77
00:03:17,965 --> 00:03:19,298
That one stuck.
78
00:03:20,634 --> 00:03:21,833
But Barb, that...
(BLOWS WHISTLE)
79
00:03:21,835 --> 00:03:25,437
No excuses.
The whistle has spoken.
80
00:03:27,241 --> 00:03:28,974
(SOFTLY) We've got to
do something about Barb.
81
00:03:28,976 --> 00:03:31,577
Otherwise, no one's
gonna last the week.
82
00:03:31,579 --> 00:03:34,479
I don't know.
Maybe we're
just overreacting.
83
00:03:34,481 --> 00:03:37,416
Now it's time
for my favorite activity.
84
00:03:37,418 --> 00:03:40,319
Pain threshold testing!
85
00:03:40,321 --> 00:03:41,887
I'm gonna need you
all to sign some waivers.
86
00:03:43,657 --> 00:03:45,524
Yeah, we gotta do something.
87
00:03:51,966 --> 00:03:53,365
Hey, guys.
What are you doing?
88
00:03:53,367 --> 00:03:55,634
We're playing
our favorite video game.
89
00:03:55,636 --> 00:03:57,669
Ultimate Wilderness Warrior.
90
00:03:57,671 --> 00:03:59,605
It's a deadly test
of survival,
91
00:03:59,607 --> 00:04:02,608
where you gather supplies,
battle the dangers
of the wild,
92
00:04:02,610 --> 00:04:05,244
and do it all to rescue
a pretty princess.
93
00:04:05,246 --> 00:04:06,812
The gender rules
are outdated.
94
00:04:06,814 --> 00:04:08,480
But the gameplay's awesome!
95
00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:13,018
A video game that
shows you how to
survive in the wild?
96
00:04:13,020 --> 00:04:16,288
Uh, yeah!
No game's that realistic.
97
00:04:16,290 --> 00:04:18,690
Uh, this one
is very realistic.
98
00:04:18,692 --> 00:04:20,993
(VIDEO GAME BEEPING)
Ooh, I'm gonna give
these magic coins
99
00:04:20,995 --> 00:04:22,461
to that Wizard.
100
00:04:22,463 --> 00:04:26,398
Listen, there's no video game
that can prepare you
101
00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:28,267
to survive in
the wilderness.
102
00:04:28,269 --> 00:04:29,735
You have to actually
go out and do it.
103
00:04:29,737 --> 00:04:32,938
Video games can
totally teach you
about the real world.
104
00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:34,940
How do you think
I learned to build
an underwater house,
105
00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:36,908
or blow things up
with a bed?
106
00:04:36,910 --> 00:04:41,313
Fine. Then I challenge
you to a survival hunt.
107
00:04:41,315 --> 00:04:44,049
No food, no water,
no supplies.
108
00:04:44,051 --> 00:04:45,651
Just our skills.
109
00:04:45,653 --> 00:04:46,918
You're on.
110
00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:49,821
Finally, all that time
playing PPPs and MMOs
111
00:04:49,823 --> 00:04:52,624
is gonna pay of
in this real-life RPG.
112
00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:55,394
That's what we,
in the biz, call lingo.
113
00:04:56,830 --> 00:04:59,531
And I will remain
an impartial observer,
114
00:04:59,533 --> 00:05:01,733
recording
all of my findings.
115
00:05:01,735 --> 00:05:04,770
This is going to be
a great psychological
experiment.
116
00:05:04,772 --> 00:05:06,371
Hah! Good luck, Gwen.
117
00:05:06,373 --> 00:05:09,074
I've got tons
of experience
being an experiment.
118
00:05:13,314 --> 00:05:15,914
Tweet! Tweet!
119
00:05:15,916 --> 00:05:17,516
Someone stole
my whistle!
120
00:05:17,518 --> 00:05:19,985
Yeah! Tweet, tweet!
121
00:05:19,987 --> 00:05:22,321
Don't worry, number one.
I got your back.
122
00:05:22,323 --> 00:05:25,891
Again, didn't ask
for your help,
don't want it.
123
00:05:25,893 --> 00:05:29,027
And yet, here it is,
unconditional.
124
00:05:30,698 --> 00:05:33,665
Hey, Barb,
if you want to know
who stole your whistle,
125
00:05:34,568 --> 00:05:35,634
we did.
126
00:05:36,904 --> 00:05:39,705
What! That whistle was
handed down to me
127
00:05:39,707 --> 00:05:41,473
through generations
of Barcas.
128
00:05:41,475 --> 00:05:43,642
My father used it
to frighten young children,
129
00:05:43,644 --> 00:05:46,545
as did his father,
and his father before that.
130
00:05:46,547 --> 00:05:50,349
You guys rinsed it out
between generations, right?
131
00:05:51,585 --> 00:05:54,119
Look, if you want
your spitty whistle back,
132
00:05:54,121 --> 00:05:58,457
you can easily find it
by doing this
super fun scavenger hunt.
133
00:05:59,893 --> 00:06:02,094
"If your whistle
someone did take,
134
00:06:02,096 --> 00:06:04,496
"perhaps you'll find it
across the lake."
135
00:06:04,498 --> 00:06:06,665
(RETCHING) It rhymes.
136
00:06:07,368 --> 00:06:08,433
(GAGS)
137
00:06:08,435 --> 00:06:10,519
Hmm.
138
00:06:10,520 --> 00:06:12,604
Maybe you should
take the jet ski
across the lake
139
00:06:12,606 --> 00:06:14,373
to find the next clue.
140
00:06:14,375 --> 00:06:17,075
That sure does
sound like something
141
00:06:17,077 --> 00:06:19,111
"fun" to do at camp!
142
00:06:19,113 --> 00:06:20,712
This is a waste of time.
143
00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:22,114
There is no way
I'm doing that.
144
00:06:22,116 --> 00:06:24,383
There is no way
she's doing that.
145
00:06:24,385 --> 00:06:28,053
Though jet skiing
is the speed walking
of the water.
146
00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:30,122
There is a way
she's doing that.
147
00:06:31,625 --> 00:06:33,458
Okay, fine!
I'll do it.
148
00:06:33,460 --> 00:06:35,460
But you two are
coming with me.
149
00:06:35,462 --> 00:06:38,563
We can talk punishment
for stealing my whistle
along the way.
150
00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:40,098
I'll hold down
the fort here.
151
00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:41,600
I don't need you to.
152
00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:44,035
This is so us.
153
00:06:50,144 --> 00:06:52,677
Guys, I'm thirsty.
I wish we brought water.
154
00:06:52,679 --> 00:06:55,013
The irony of
the great outdoors.
155
00:06:55,015 --> 00:06:59,050
Nothing to drink,
yet so many places to be.
156
00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:02,020
This is a survival hike.
157
00:07:02,022 --> 00:07:04,156
Unlike in a video game,
in the woods,
158
00:07:04,158 --> 00:07:06,425
if you want something,
you have to forage for it.
159
00:07:06,427 --> 00:07:08,093
Useful survival tip...
160
00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:10,896
If you're thirsty,
you can stay hydrated
161
00:07:10,898 --> 00:07:13,632
by collecting dew drops
from non-poisonous leaves.
162
00:07:14,701 --> 00:07:16,034
See, refreshing.
163
00:07:16,036 --> 00:07:19,805
Or, it it will be
after 54 more leaves.
164
00:07:21,675 --> 00:07:23,675
Hey look, it's an NPC.
165
00:07:23,677 --> 00:07:25,010
What's an NPC?
166
00:07:25,012 --> 00:07:27,012
It's a Non-Player Character.
167
00:07:27,014 --> 00:07:29,548
They help you out with stuff
from video games.
168
00:07:29,550 --> 00:07:32,517
But that just looks
like someone going
for a run in the woods.
169
00:07:32,519 --> 00:07:35,554
Yeah, Finn, stop
being ridiculous and come
lick some leaves.
170
00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:40,192
Excuse me. Do you know
where we can find
something to drink?
171
00:07:43,230 --> 00:07:44,896
Sweet! Thanks.
172
00:07:45,899 --> 00:07:48,633
Ooh, achievement unlocked.
173
00:07:50,103 --> 00:07:53,238
Sorry, might have lost
my gum in there.
174
00:07:56,877 --> 00:07:59,110
Gamers, one.
Leaf-lickers, zero.
175
00:07:59,112 --> 00:08:01,546
Ooh, interesting.
176
00:08:01,548 --> 00:08:04,249
No! Not interesting!
A total fluke!
177
00:08:04,251 --> 00:08:05,717
MATTEO: Mmm-hmm.
178
00:08:05,719 --> 00:08:08,053
Is leaf licker
one word or two?
179
00:08:08,055 --> 00:08:09,120
Four.
180
00:08:09,122 --> 00:08:11,790
(CHUCKLES)
My fault for asking.
181
00:08:16,897 --> 00:08:20,131
So, Barb, what do you think
of the scavenger hunt so far?
182
00:08:20,133 --> 00:08:23,001
Well, it was mildly amusing
riding that jet ski
183
00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:25,103
across the lake
to find the first clue.
184
00:08:25,105 --> 00:08:27,005
Especially dodging
all those buoys.
185
00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:29,007
Those were campers.
186
00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:31,576
Oh. So that's why
they were screaming.
187
00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:33,712
Yes, I enjoyed that.
188
00:08:34,882 --> 00:08:37,115
Let's see if you
can find the next,
189
00:08:37,117 --> 00:08:39,918
super fun, expertly
planned out clue.
190
00:08:41,755 --> 00:08:44,155
"If you wanna progress
to the next fun thing,
191
00:08:44,157 --> 00:08:46,558
"then you've got to
get it on the swing."
192
00:08:48,529 --> 00:08:50,529
So I have to swing
to get that clue
over there?
193
00:08:50,531 --> 00:08:52,097
I can just walk over
and get it.
194
00:08:52,099 --> 00:08:55,066
Please, I worked
really hard on the rhyme.
195
00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:56,768
Fine.
196
00:08:59,139 --> 00:09:01,640
So how does
this thing work?
197
00:09:01,642 --> 00:09:04,142
You sit on it
and you swing.
198
00:09:05,012 --> 00:09:07,178
Yes, but how
do you win?
199
00:09:09,917 --> 00:09:11,583
(SQUEAKING)
200
00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:14,553
(SOFTLY)
Okay. Ready?
201
00:09:16,156 --> 00:09:17,322
Go.
202
00:09:20,193 --> 00:09:21,593
Wait.
203
00:09:22,162 --> 00:09:23,228
What's happening to me?
204
00:09:24,565 --> 00:09:25,730
Oh, no.
205
00:09:25,732 --> 00:09:29,668
I think I feel
an upside down frown coming.
206
00:09:34,141 --> 00:09:36,041
That's called
a smile, Barb.
207
00:09:36,043 --> 00:09:37,876
(CHUCKLING)
208
00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:42,681
Do you hear that?
She's laughing.
209
00:09:42,683 --> 00:09:44,716
And not in the face
of a small child.
210
00:09:45,953 --> 00:09:47,619
Yahoo!
211
00:09:47,621 --> 00:09:48,987
Take that, Mom and Dad!
212
00:09:48,989 --> 00:09:51,156
This is the most fun
I've ever had.
213
00:09:51,158 --> 00:09:53,191
Oh, that's right!
I'm rhyming!
214
00:09:55,128 --> 00:09:56,661
Higher! Higher!
215
00:10:01,001 --> 00:10:04,135
Guys, that scratch I got
is getting infected.
216
00:10:04,137 --> 00:10:06,605
Or, at least,
I think so.
217
00:10:06,607 --> 00:10:08,139
I can't really find it.
218
00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:11,643
Another survival tip.
219
00:10:11,645 --> 00:10:14,346
You can make a natural remedy
out of the mucus of a newt.
220
00:10:14,348 --> 00:10:17,349
The trick is getting
the newt to hog
a big enough moogie.
221
00:10:17,351 --> 00:10:20,819
Well, can we find
a newt with a cold, fast?
222
00:10:20,821 --> 00:10:23,154
I can feel the disease
spreading up my arm!
223
00:10:24,057 --> 00:10:25,156
Or was it my leg?
224
00:10:26,693 --> 00:10:28,960
You know what would
really help us right now?
225
00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:30,161
A power up.
226
00:10:30,163 --> 00:10:31,796
Your life bar just took
a pretty big hit.
227
00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:33,865
Finn, you got lucky
at the water,
228
00:10:33,867 --> 00:10:36,001
but this isn't the Ultimate
Wilderness Warrior.
229
00:10:36,003 --> 00:10:37,168
Just give up!
230
00:10:38,739 --> 00:10:40,171
Hey! Check it out!
231
00:10:46,380 --> 00:10:49,047
Extra Lite brand
first-aid kit.
232
00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:51,783
Man, I'm great
at this game.
233
00:10:52,285 --> 00:10:55,053
This isn't a game.
234
00:10:55,054 --> 00:10:57,822
People just hang supplies
in trees to keep them away
from bears, okay!
235
00:10:57,824 --> 00:11:00,892
Wow. Someone's being
a sore loser.
236
00:11:02,963 --> 00:11:05,096
"Loser" is another
gaming term.
237
00:11:05,098 --> 00:11:06,698
I know what it means!
238
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:10,902
Guys, can someone
hurry up and make
some tourniquets!
239
00:11:10,904 --> 00:11:15,340
I still can't find the cut,
so we should tie off every
limb, just in case.
240
00:11:15,342 --> 00:11:19,678
We should really
save the game before
the Matteo character dies.
241
00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:21,079
What!
242
00:11:27,421 --> 00:11:29,254
So, was that fun?
243
00:11:29,256 --> 00:11:30,955
I have to say,
244
00:11:30,957 --> 00:11:32,924
spending the day,
not accomplishing anything,
245
00:11:32,926 --> 00:11:34,192
except solving
dumb riddles,
246
00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:36,194
was kind of exhilarating.
247
00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:40,165
You know, Barb,
if you're willing
to give it a try,
248
00:11:40,167 --> 00:11:42,701
there are lot of fun
things to do at camp.
249
00:11:42,703 --> 00:11:47,238
There is something
I've been wanting
to try for a long time.
250
00:11:51,178 --> 00:11:54,079
Your s'more,
benevolent overlord.
251
00:11:57,117 --> 00:11:58,316
(MUNCHING)
252
00:12:01,154 --> 00:12:02,454
It's messy.
253
00:12:03,256 --> 00:12:04,923
It's processed.
254
00:12:04,925 --> 00:12:07,425
It's filled
with empty calories.
255
00:12:07,427 --> 00:12:10,495
(CHUCKLES) I'm so bad.
256
00:12:11,465 --> 00:12:12,731
Do you like it?
257
00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:13,798
I love it.
258
00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:15,433
In fact, I want
some more.
259
00:12:15,435 --> 00:12:18,169
Hey, I just got that.
260
00:12:19,339 --> 00:12:21,873
Noah, I've changed
my mind.
261
00:12:21,875 --> 00:12:24,743
Turns out, I do need
a solid number two.
262
00:12:24,745 --> 00:12:27,278
Yeah, I heard it.
And I don't care.
263
00:12:28,381 --> 00:12:30,014
Someone start the music.
264
00:12:30,016 --> 00:12:31,382
On it.
What's your pleasure?
265
00:12:31,384 --> 00:12:33,051
Classical?
Smooth jazz?
266
00:12:33,053 --> 00:12:36,054
I got a great podcast
on the history of tables.
267
00:12:36,056 --> 00:12:38,389
Someone else
start the music.
268
00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:40,925
I gotcha, Barca.
269
00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:43,161
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
270
00:12:43,163 --> 00:12:47,165
Let's get our dance on,
partier in crime!
271
00:12:47,167 --> 00:12:50,435
Okay, I want to
make it clear, I will not
be doing any crimes.
272
00:12:50,437 --> 00:12:52,804
But as long
as I get a clipboard,
I'm good.
273
00:12:52,806 --> 00:12:54,172
No clipboard.
Still good.
274
00:13:00,046 --> 00:13:02,580
Next survival tip.
275
00:13:02,581 --> 00:13:05,115
To find your way home
in the woods at night,
just follow the stars.
276
00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:09,154
Is what I would say
if there weren't
dumb clouds everywhere.
277
00:13:09,156 --> 00:13:10,855
Thanks a lot, weather!
278
00:13:12,225 --> 00:13:13,424
We're lost, aren't we?
279
00:13:13,426 --> 00:13:16,094
No, I do not get lost!
280
00:13:16,096 --> 00:13:18,296
"Subject is in denial."
281
00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:19,864
(GRUNTS)
282
00:13:19,866 --> 00:13:22,934
(BEEPS)
Subject just hurt
my hand.
283
00:13:24,905 --> 00:13:27,205
(BEEPS)
If we were
in a video game,
284
00:13:27,207 --> 00:13:29,007
I would just look for
a hidden map somewhere.
285
00:13:29,009 --> 00:13:31,109
Yeah, but we're not
in a video game.
286
00:13:31,111 --> 00:13:32,911
So, there's no way
we're gonna find...
287
00:13:32,913 --> 00:13:35,246
A map!
Oh, come on!
288
00:13:35,248 --> 00:13:39,284
This is just like
level 10 in Ultimate
Wilderness Warrior!
289
00:13:39,286 --> 00:13:41,052
That map is really old.
290
00:13:41,054 --> 00:13:43,121
And landscape changes
over time.
291
00:13:43,123 --> 00:13:45,056
It probably won't
help us at all.
292
00:13:45,058 --> 00:13:48,092
Gwen, just admit
you're wrong.
293
00:13:48,094 --> 00:13:50,228
I found water,
I found first-aid,
294
00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:52,030
and now I found a map.
295
00:13:52,032 --> 00:13:55,133
Video games are
all you need to be
a survival expert!
296
00:13:55,135 --> 00:13:57,135
Face it, I'm rrr...
297
00:13:57,137 --> 00:13:58,937
I'm rrr...
298
00:13:59,472 --> 00:14:01,105
I'm right.
299
00:14:02,209 --> 00:14:04,609
Wow, that feels
weird to say.
300
00:14:04,611 --> 00:14:06,177
It gets easier.
301
00:14:07,314 --> 00:14:10,215
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
302
00:14:15,155 --> 00:14:17,488
Cool. We danced
till we dropped.
303
00:14:17,490 --> 00:14:19,424
You guys are up early.
304
00:14:19,426 --> 00:14:21,426
Ah, I never went
to bed.
305
00:14:21,428 --> 00:14:23,595
And she wouldn't
let me go to bed.
306
00:14:23,597 --> 00:14:25,263
I think my feet
are bleeding.
307
00:14:28,168 --> 00:14:29,234
(MUSIC STOPS)
308
00:14:31,071 --> 00:14:32,537
We should probably
clean this up.
309
00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:34,439
Oh, boring!
310
00:14:34,441 --> 00:14:36,140
That doesn't
sound like fun.
311
00:14:36,142 --> 00:14:38,176
I want zipline
and do ropes courses.
312
00:14:38,178 --> 00:14:40,178
Ooh, and have you guys
ever heard of this thing
313
00:14:40,180 --> 00:14:42,280
called reading for pleasure?
314
00:14:42,282 --> 00:14:44,349
I think I'm gonna
do mine in a chair.
315
00:14:44,351 --> 00:14:48,453
We could do all that,
but first, we gotta
take care of some things.
316
00:14:48,455 --> 00:14:50,121
Like breakfast
for the campers.
317
00:14:50,123 --> 00:14:51,522
Got it. Got it.
318
00:14:51,524 --> 00:14:53,324
Or... Pitch on your pitch.
319
00:14:53,326 --> 00:14:56,160
We turn Woodchuck Cabin
into a ball pit.
320
00:14:56,162 --> 00:14:58,396
It's like what you said,
but not lame.
321
00:14:58,398 --> 00:14:59,564
See you, buzzkills!
322
00:15:02,102 --> 00:15:03,601
We've created a monster!
323
00:15:03,603 --> 00:15:05,937
You think? And I had
to be her number two.
324
00:15:05,939 --> 00:15:07,605
No, you don't.
325
00:15:07,607 --> 00:15:11,276
This is a made-up position
that no one is acknowledging.
326
00:15:12,545 --> 00:15:14,345
But I am killing it, right?
327
00:15:16,216 --> 00:15:18,016
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS)
328
00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:22,053
Guys, we've been wandering
around all night.
329
00:15:22,055 --> 00:15:23,288
We're officially lost.
330
00:15:23,290 --> 00:15:25,123
I told you
that map was worthless.
331
00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:26,925
It's not the map's fault.
332
00:15:26,927 --> 00:15:29,527
Whoever designed
this environment
made it super confusing.
333
00:15:29,529 --> 00:15:31,663
I'm beginning
to agree with Finn.
334
00:15:31,665 --> 00:15:33,364
This seems like
a really hard level.
335
00:15:33,366 --> 00:15:36,567
It's not a level!
It's life, you donuts!
336
00:15:38,171 --> 00:15:39,270
GIRL: Help!
337
00:15:43,009 --> 00:15:45,109
Hey, what are you
doing down there?
338
00:15:45,111 --> 00:15:47,111
Thank goodness
someone found me.
339
00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:49,113
I ran away from
my birthday party.
340
00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:51,115
My parents wanted it
to be princess themed,
341
00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:53,384
but I'm more
into video games.
342
00:15:53,386 --> 00:15:55,119
Really? Us, too!
343
00:15:55,121 --> 00:15:58,122
My gamer tag
is Shark Finn 75.
What's yours?
344
00:15:58,124 --> 00:16:00,158
Brain Basher 13.
345
00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:02,160
I only look sweet
on the outside.
346
00:16:03,196 --> 00:16:05,129
Come on, gamers, focus.
347
00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:08,266
I came to this well
to make a wish
for a cooler birthday,
348
00:16:08,268 --> 00:16:10,101
but I accidentally
fell in.
349
00:16:10,103 --> 00:16:13,404
So, yeah, eight is off
to a great start.
350
00:16:14,607 --> 00:16:17,208
A princess is danger?
An old well?
351
00:16:18,111 --> 00:16:20,244
A perfectly placed vine?
352
00:16:20,246 --> 00:16:21,980
This is gaming 101.
353
00:16:21,982 --> 00:16:24,649
Finn, I don't know.
This seems a little...
354
00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:26,551
(FINN SCREAMS AND THUDS)
355
00:16:26,553 --> 00:16:28,119
...dangerous!
356
00:16:28,121 --> 00:16:29,654
Finn, are you okay?
357
00:16:29,656 --> 00:16:32,724
FINN: Yeah.
The princess broke my fall.
358
00:16:32,726 --> 00:16:34,425
PRINCESS:
Really not liking eight.
359
00:16:42,135 --> 00:16:44,469
Well, I hope you guys
are happy.
360
00:16:44,471 --> 00:16:48,006
Your video game way of
VRVs and ASAPs
361
00:16:48,008 --> 00:16:49,640
got us into some
real-life OMGs!
362
00:16:49,642 --> 00:16:52,343
And yes, I know
that's not the lingo!
363
00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:55,179
Look, I'm sorry, Gwen.
364
00:16:55,181 --> 00:16:58,216
Video gamer love way
was what got us into this.
365
00:16:58,218 --> 00:17:01,319
Finn and I should
have never questioned
your survival skills.
366
00:17:02,255 --> 00:17:04,155
I was wro...
367
00:17:05,291 --> 00:17:07,091
Wro...
368
00:17:07,093 --> 00:17:08,426
FINN: It's gets easier.
369
00:17:10,063 --> 00:17:11,129
You were right.
370
00:17:11,131 --> 00:17:12,663
Darn right,
I was right.
371
00:17:12,665 --> 00:17:15,033
Now, you stay here,
while I go forage
372
00:17:15,035 --> 00:17:16,367
for supplies
to make a rope.
373
00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:18,202
Ooh, like a mini quest?
374
00:17:18,204 --> 00:17:20,338
No. No quests.
375
00:17:24,444 --> 00:17:26,244
Making this rope
is gonna take forever.
376
00:17:26,246 --> 00:17:28,246
Where's a dead boa constrictor
when you need one?
377
00:17:29,816 --> 00:17:33,217
Wait, are those gold coins?
378
00:17:35,055 --> 00:17:36,087
(TINKLES)
379
00:17:36,089 --> 00:17:37,288
Seriously?
380
00:17:40,126 --> 00:17:41,192
(TINKLES)
381
00:17:42,829 --> 00:17:44,595
Magical coins.
382
00:17:45,498 --> 00:17:47,265
Wizard NPC.
383
00:17:47,267 --> 00:17:49,700
I can't believe
I'm about to do this.
384
00:17:51,304 --> 00:17:54,705
Excuse me.
Oh. Well, hello,
young maiden.
385
00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:57,809
Weird question.
386
00:17:57,810 --> 00:18:00,211
Do you mind if I trade
you these gold coins
for your rope belt?
387
00:18:01,147 --> 00:18:02,346
I don't see why not.
388
00:18:08,121 --> 00:18:11,255
Wow, the video game way
actually worked.
389
00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:13,091
Thanks, Merwyn.
390
00:18:13,093 --> 00:18:14,659
It's Roger.
391
00:18:16,162 --> 00:18:18,262
Hey, these are my coins.
392
00:18:18,264 --> 00:18:20,865
Must have a hole
in my pocket.
393
00:18:20,867 --> 00:18:22,467
(CHIMING)
(GROANS)
394
00:18:22,469 --> 00:18:23,534
(CHIMING CONTINUES)
395
00:18:25,205 --> 00:18:29,240
I said I can't talk.
I'm running late.
396
00:18:29,242 --> 00:18:32,243
I'm lost in the woods,
and I can't find
this ding-dang
397
00:18:32,245 --> 00:18:34,278
princess-themed
birthday party.
398
00:18:37,684 --> 00:18:40,351
I've always wanted
to have a good old-fashioned
lawn mower race.
399
00:18:40,353 --> 00:18:42,653
Prepare to eat
my clippings.
400
00:18:42,655 --> 00:18:44,856
But I already ate
your dust, Barb.
401
00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:47,859
Guys, we have an emergency.
402
00:18:47,861 --> 00:18:49,627
We absolutely do.
403
00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:51,362
She won't let me leave.
404
00:18:51,364 --> 00:18:54,599
Gwen, Finn and Matteo
never came back
from their hike yesterday.
405
00:18:54,601 --> 00:18:56,467
We've looked all over,
but we can't find them.
406
00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:58,236
We have to organize
a search party.
407
00:18:58,238 --> 00:19:01,506
Did someone say,
"Partay"?
408
00:19:01,508 --> 00:19:03,241
(AIR HORN BLARING)
409
00:19:03,543 --> 00:19:04,842
(CHEERING)
410
00:19:04,844 --> 00:19:07,178
Barb, this is serious!
411
00:19:07,180 --> 00:19:10,181
Exactly. And I just
want to have fun.
412
00:19:10,183 --> 00:19:13,684
Besides, isn't Gwen
that feral girl who hangs out
with the smart kid?
413
00:19:13,686 --> 00:19:16,354
As long as they don't
listen to that third one,
they'll be fine.
414
00:19:16,356 --> 00:19:18,339
But you still...
Okay, look.
415
00:19:18,340 --> 00:19:20,323
Are you sure Gwen's
just not asleep
in your cabin?
416
00:19:28,268 --> 00:19:29,333
(LAUGHING)
417
00:19:30,270 --> 00:19:32,670
Right.
I forgot I did that.
418
00:19:34,774 --> 00:19:37,441
New plan. You go to
Camp Champion to get Lou,
419
00:19:37,443 --> 00:19:39,177
and I'll head into the woods
to look for the kids.
420
00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:42,246
Hey, what about me?
421
00:19:42,248 --> 00:19:44,482
Oh, you stay right there,
number two.
422
00:19:44,484 --> 00:19:46,317
It's time to get
on the lawn!
423
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:49,787
My thirst for power
got me here.
(ENGINE WHIRRING)
424
00:19:53,826 --> 00:19:56,794
Boy, am I glad you came
back when you did, Gwen,
425
00:19:56,796 --> 00:19:57,929
I thought
they were goners.
426
00:19:57,931 --> 00:20:00,598
(LEAVES RUSTLING)
We're goners!
427
00:20:02,402 --> 00:20:03,734
Oh, thank goodness!
428
00:20:03,736 --> 00:20:04,835
(CHUCKLES)
429
00:20:04,837 --> 00:20:06,971
Gwen, Matteo,
Finn, princess!
430
00:20:06,973 --> 00:20:09,373
Wait, why is there
a princess?
431
00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:13,244
Don't ask me.
I wanted to be
a space pirate.
432
00:20:14,747 --> 00:20:16,714
Well, I'm just glad
you guys are okay.
433
00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:18,749
Yeah. Because of Gwen.
434
00:20:18,751 --> 00:20:20,851
Thanks again for saving us.
435
00:20:20,853 --> 00:20:23,521
You clearly have
a lot to teach us
about surviving in the woods.
436
00:20:24,257 --> 00:20:27,242
Seriously.
437
00:20:27,243 --> 00:20:30,228
You made this super strong
rope out of forest stuff
in like five minutes.
438
00:20:30,230 --> 00:20:31,295
That's incredible.
439
00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:35,600
Guys, I have
a confession to make.
440
00:20:36,536 --> 00:20:38,002
The truth is...
441
00:20:40,373 --> 00:20:42,773
It was actually
more like 10 minutes.
442
00:20:46,312 --> 00:20:47,778
Oh, no!
443
00:20:47,780 --> 00:20:51,315
This didn't solve
itself somehow
while I was gone?
444
00:20:52,252 --> 00:20:54,318
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
445
00:20:55,955 --> 00:20:58,823
List those legs!
I don't hear you smiling.
446
00:20:58,825 --> 00:21:01,192
That's cause my smile
is broken.
447
00:21:02,795 --> 00:21:05,263
Oh, who broke my camp?
448
00:21:05,265 --> 00:21:08,032
D-d-d-DJ Barca!
449
00:21:08,034 --> 00:21:10,001
And who broke Barb?
(MUSIC STOPS)
450
00:21:10,803 --> 00:21:12,303
Hey!
451
00:21:12,305 --> 00:21:14,338
You're just in time
for my big breakthrough.
452
00:21:14,340 --> 00:21:16,807
I've realized
how much fun
camp can be.
453
00:21:16,809 --> 00:21:20,044
And now, it's all
I want to do for
the rest of my life.
454
00:21:20,046 --> 00:21:21,746
Congo with me, Louella!
455
00:21:23,049 --> 00:21:24,315
Be right with ya.
456
00:21:25,752 --> 00:21:26,817
What the heck happened?
457
00:21:26,819 --> 00:21:29,854
I left you with
a perfectly evil Barb!
458
00:21:29,856 --> 00:21:32,556
We were just trying to
loosen her up a little.
459
00:21:32,558 --> 00:21:34,458
But we may have
gone overboard.
460
00:21:34,460 --> 00:21:38,029
Even when Barb's having fun,
she has to be the best at it.
461
00:21:38,031 --> 00:21:41,632
We really misjudged
how incredibly intense
you are.
462
00:21:41,634 --> 00:21:44,969
Aw! Thank you.
463
00:21:46,039 --> 00:21:47,438
Okay, Barb,
it's time to go home.
464
00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:49,774
Oh, boo! I don't wanna!
465
00:21:49,776 --> 00:21:51,008
It's more fun here.
466
00:21:51,010 --> 00:21:53,778
Okay. Then I guess
you don't care
467
00:21:53,780 --> 00:21:56,080
that I let your campers
sleep in until 10:00 a.m.
468
00:21:57,417 --> 00:21:59,617
So they missed lunch.
No biggie.
469
00:21:59,619 --> 00:22:02,320
Or that I took
all the lanes
out of your lap pool,
470
00:22:02,322 --> 00:22:04,088
so everyone could
play Marco Polo.
471
00:22:05,625 --> 00:22:07,792
Well, at least,
they were learning
some history.
472
00:22:07,794 --> 00:22:13,030
Or that I gave every camper
a participation trophy.
473
00:22:13,032 --> 00:22:14,365
You what?
474
00:22:14,367 --> 00:22:17,768
How dare you shower
my campers with
unearned affection!
475
00:22:17,770 --> 00:22:19,837
There is a finite
amount of love,
476
00:22:19,839 --> 00:22:21,072
and you're supposed to
decide who gets it
477
00:22:21,074 --> 00:22:22,973
through a series of
gladiator games!
478
00:22:22,975 --> 00:22:25,009
Don't worry, my babies,
479
00:22:25,011 --> 00:22:28,512
mama's coming back
to rebreak your spirit.
(BLOWS WHISTLE)
480
00:22:32,418 --> 00:22:33,984
Lou, I just want
you to know
481
00:22:33,986 --> 00:22:35,686
I fought her
the whole way.
482
00:22:35,688 --> 00:22:37,121
No, you didn't.
Yeah, you're right.
483
00:22:37,123 --> 00:22:38,055
I'll go clan up the balls.
484
00:22:43,029 --> 00:22:44,795
Take that,
robot squirrel!
485
00:22:44,797 --> 00:22:48,099
Eat my lasers,
you forest-dwelling
spell master!
486
00:22:48,101 --> 00:22:50,935
Aw, this is the birthday
I always wanted.
487
00:22:52,739 --> 00:22:55,639
Hey, Gwen, I thought
you were going to take us
on another hike.
488
00:22:55,641 --> 00:22:57,007
Yeah. Sorry.
489
00:22:57,009 --> 00:22:59,377
Julie's parents only
drop her off for an hour.
490
00:22:59,379 --> 00:23:01,579
And besides, we're busy
pawning some newbs
491
00:23:01,581 --> 00:23:03,948
in the sick MMORPG.
492
00:23:03,950 --> 00:23:07,118
That's right.
I learned the lingo.
493
00:23:07,120 --> 00:23:11,055
Well, if you're not
gonna take us to the woods,
can we at least have a turn?
494
00:23:11,057 --> 00:23:13,274
Not right now!
495
00:23:13,275 --> 00:23:15,492
This is a non-skippable
cutscene that I can't
quicksave till the end.
496
00:23:15,495 --> 00:23:16,794
Gosh!
497
00:23:16,796 --> 00:23:21,165
Excuse me, I've been lost
in the woods all night.
498
00:23:21,167 --> 00:23:23,167
Do you have any food?
499
00:23:23,169 --> 00:23:25,736
I have these gold coins.
36392
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