All language subtitles for Bunkd s04e27.WEB-DL.x264-ION10

♪♪

Up and at 'em,
Woodchucks!

Bear attack!

Gwen, relax.
There's no bear.

And you shouldn't be
sleeping with a spear.

But my crossbow
goes off too easily.

Why are you waking
us up so early?

I told you last night,
Woodchuck cabin has
kitchen duty this morning.

Gotta help Chef Jeff
serve breakfast.

(GROANS) I need
ten more minutes.

Hey, Destiny,
do you prefer mustaches
or goatees?

Why?
Because if you
go back to bed,

you're waking up
with one or the other.

♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka

♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka

♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka ♪

Mornin', guys.

Thank you for coming
to this important

counsellors' meeting.

It is that time of the summer.

Is Finn already
due for another flea dip?

He's not gonna
like it.

But it is his own fault
for not wearing the collar.

Tell him if he doesn't
wear the collar,

he's gonna
get the comb.

And I meant,
counsellor evaluations.

Give these forms
to your campers.

Wait. Our nitwit campers
are the ones doing

our evaluations?

Maybe don't call them nitwits

when you give them the forms
they'll be using to judge you.

But, yeah,
it's those nitwits.

"On a scale of one
to three stars,

"how well does your counsellor
enhance the camp experience?"

This is so silly.
Right, guys?

It's important to check
in midsummer

to make sure counsellors
and campers are a good match.

And if not, then maybe

I'll be forced to
make some changes.

All righty!
Have a Kikitabulous day.

Hey, Lou. What do you mean by,
"make changes"?

Hmm. You're not worried

about Finn and Matteo
are gonna grade you,
are you?

Not really.
My boys love me.

I'm gonna go give them
the forms right now.

Noah!
There's our main man!

(ALL GROWL)

All done.
Passed the dumb evaluation
with flying colors.

Hmm. Um... Ava?

Are you sure
the girls filled these out?

Because Destiny always dots
her I's with hearts,

and Gwen signs official forms
with her full name,

"Gwen of The Woods Flores."

Well, look at you,
knowing your campers
so well.

Someone should be giving
you a stellar evaluation.

(CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY)
Okay, bye.
Ava.

These forms are a test
of how good a counsellor
you are.

Give these
to Destiny and Gwen,

and leave the completed
forms in the director's cabin.

I'll probably be out
with my Cousin Ronnie.

She recently moved
to Vermont,

and is coming to visit
for the weekend...
RONNIE: Lou!

Oh, thank goodness.

Ronnie, I am so glad
you're here.

And you brought Lily!

Yeah!

She's a baby, Lou,
so you sort of have
to take 'em everywhere.

But what about all the fun
things you said
you wanted to do,

like going into town,
getting a mani-pedi,

watching a movie,
grabbing some lunch.

I'm gonna do all that.
Alone.

I need a break,
after four hours
in the car with the baby.

Also,
the last eight months.

(WHISPERING)
She's always there.

Like an adorable barnacle.

Well, who's watching
the adorable barnacle?

Me?

We have the rest
of the weekend to catch up.

But I thought it would
be nice for Lily

to spend some quality
time with her Auntie Lou.

"Auntie Lou"?
But we are second cousins

many times removed.
Legally, can you even
leave her with me?

Oh! You're family.

You can do this.

You have to do this.

Okay. Sure.

I love babies.

It is not like I am
horribly afraid of them
(QUIETLY) at all.

Thanks for this, Lou.
Call if you need anything.

But please don't call.

(CRYING)

Oh, no.
She can smell my fear.

Do you guys think it's weird
we have these useless
bunk beds in our cabin?

They're not
completely useless.

They make a great spot
to hide a drawer of
toenail clippings.

Theoretically.

Noah's right.

Someday, maybe this camp
will be at max capacity.

But it the meantime,

we should try to come up
with a better use
for this space.

Fine. I can take a hint.

I'll hide
my clippings elsewhere.

Don't follow me.

What if we turn
this area into
a science lab?

To answer the universe's
great questions.

Or turn it into
a rehearsal space

and answer
the greatest question.

"To be or not to be?"

See what I did there?

Well, maybe we should find
something to put in here
that works for all of us.

I think I know
the perfect thing.

This was out behind
the shed. What do you think?

She's glorious.

Boats and vending machines
are always referred
to as "she."

(COINS CLINKING)
(BEEPING)

(SIGHS)

Don't worry.
I think I can get it.

Uh-oh, I think I'm caught
on something.

(GRUNTS) Of all the days
to see if I can make
a bracelet work.

Relax. I'll get you free.

(BOTH GRUNTING)

Yup. I'm stuck too.

Saw that train speeding
towards me from a mile away.

Why couldn't you just
have picked something
from the bottom row?

Because the bottom row
is nothing but empty calories.

(BOTH GRUNTING)

Okay, we need to
calm down and think.

Yes. We're both smart
enough not to die
in a vending machine.

I know we can come up
with an elegant solution
to this problem.

BOTH: Help!

There are my two
amazing campers.

As always, it warms
my heart to see you.

Who are you,
and what have
you done with Ava?

Distract the changeling
while I go for my spear.

Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Oh, you two tickle me.

That's why I wanted
to give you some
"no strings attached" gifts.

Your favorite scrunchie?

Anytime I even ask
to borrow it, you say,

"Over my cold, dead body."

(LAUGHS) We do have fun,
don't we?

And for you,
Gwen of the Woods...

My official title,
this must be big!

I thought long and hard
about what you might like

and came up with

a rock.

One I've been admiring
for weeks. How'd you know?

Thanks, Ava.

Yeah, thanks.

It's nothing. And, hey,
maybe now you two
can fill out these dumb

counselor evaluation forms.

Or not. No presh.
But do it. Ta-ta.

Does anything seem
strange to you?

Yeah. This rock
is much lighter
than I imagined.

I guess it's true
what they say,
"Never meet your heroes."

I think Ava's trying
to bribe us with these gifts
to give good reviews.

Okay. But Ava's
a great counsellor.

She deserves good reviews.

And she'll get them.

Eventually.

Ah, I see.

I lied. I don't.

Ava's given us
all the power.

Let's see how far
we can take it.

Gwen, what else does
your heart of hearts
desire?

I don't know. This rock
was really the last thing
on my bucket list.

(THUDS)

But now that it's in
my bucket, maybe I can
think of something else.

Oh, a new bucket.

(CRYING)

What? Babies cry.
Keep giving me the stink eye,

and I'll make sure
you do too.

(LILY CRYING)

Wait! No, I'm sorry.
Don't leave me alone
with it.

Lou, who's this?

It's Lily.
She's my cousin's.

So, if this is
your cousin's baby,

and I'm your cousin...
No, I know what
you're thinking,

but Ronnie is my cousin
on my dad's side.

So...

This is my grandma?

Maybe I didn't know
what you were thinking.

(LILY CRYING)

What's wrong,
little lady?

I don't know.

I think I'm just
a little on edge with
all the crying and the...

Oh, you meant
the baby. Sure. Sure.

(LILY GURGLING)

It's a miracle.

Finn, clear your schedule.
You are my baby whisperer
for the rest of the day.

Sure. I can do that.

How are you
so good with babies?

I just get them.

We immature minds
understand each other.

I was in diapers till
I was eight.

I know. I went to
your swim meets.

Guys, you're supposed
to be setting up targets
for archery class.

Oh, are we? Sorry, I was just
filling out my evaluation.

"On a scale of one
to three stars,

"does your counsellor
provide you with
sufficient free time?"

(CLICKING TONGUE)

Oh, you haven't finished
filling that out yet?

Not yet. Right, Gwen?

It just takes time
to get a handle
on that complex

three-star
grading system.

You know what,
you two enjoy your free time.

Let me set up
the archery targets
for you.

And it would be great
if you could grab some

lunch for us on your way back.

Gwen, is there
anything else you'd
like to add for Ava?

A picnic lunch
would be nice.

A picnic?
You've got a lot of...

Great ideas there, Gwen.

I will gladly
set that up for you.

And to think
I gave her a rock.

See?

We really do have
all the power.

Is this what it feels
like to be immortal?

Today, we picnic on
the bones of our enemies,

and drink the forbidden waters
of the River Styx!

It's gonna be egg salad
and a juice box.

Then I hope
there's no onions!

This is even more genius
than our last idea.

A relaxation atria.

Outside, you have
to deal with all the bugs,

pollen, heat.

Don't forget about the wind.

How could I?

You don't spend an hour
making your hair
look this good

and ever forget
about the wind.

Let's give the great
outdoor indoors a whirl.
Who gets to go first?

Not as relaxing as I thought.

BOTH: Help!

You know how
to change diapers too?

When I turned five,
my mom told me

I needed to start
changing myself.

Want me to teach you?
No.

I already know
how to change myself.

And the truth is,
I'm kind of afraid
of babies.

She isn't going to bite.

You're thinking
of sharks.

No. I'm afraid
I'll hurt her.

Babies are so tiny
and fragile,
and if I hold one,

I'll do something wrong.
How do you know
if you don't try?

I know because I did try.
With you.

(LILY GURGLES)

When you were a baby,
your parents brought you

to our farm for a visit,
and even let me
watch you for a bit,

but while I was babysitting
you, you started to cry a lot.

Sounds like me.
I'm a sensitive boy.

So I raced to the kitchen
to get you a bottle,

but when I opened
the fridge door,

I bumped you.
Pretty hard.

So what? It was just
a dumb accident.

And look,
I turned out flurn.

Well...

I think you'd
be great with babies.

You should try again.
Hard pass.

I just need your help
until Ronnie gets back.

She's asleep.

Just make sure
she doesn't roll
into a pillow.

I'll be right back.

Wait, no, you can't go.

She'll be out
for a while.

I just want to
grab my collection

of shiny objects that
are impossible to swallow.

I know Lily will love them
as much as I do.

I don't think he is flurn.

Gwen,
don't gut fish here.

Really regretting
giving you
that new bucket.

I understand, Ava.

"On a scale of one
to three stars,

how well does your counsellor
encourage your interests
and hobbies?"

You know what,
I changed my mind,

breathing's overrated.
Carry on.

What fresh
nonsense is this?

Destiny,
take it all down.

It looks like a unicorn
exploded in here.

Hmm. That does not sound
like a three-star performance

in "supporting
my creative endeavors."

My hand is cramping up.

Ava, I need you to gut
the last dozen fish.

Remember, really hook
that mouth and rip.

Don't be afraid
of that splatter.

Okay, girls.
You've had your fun.

But I think it's time
to fill out
those evaluations.

Lou wants them
by the end of the day.

Oh! Well, maybe you should
tell Lou we need
an extension then.

Yeah. It would be
really terrible
if we were so rushed

that we only had time
to fill out one star
per question.

What more do you guys
want from me?

Are you ever gonna do
what I say again?

Sure we will.
If it's what
we want to do.

Whoo!

And I just thought
of something
I really want to do.

Lou, I quit.

You quit?
What? Why?

Why do you look
like you want to tie me
to some train tracks?

The girls keep going on...
Shh!

Lower your voice.

Sleeping baby.

Destiny and Gwen
are never gonna give
me good evaluations,

and I'm tired
of trying...

Hey! My eyes are up here.

Sorry.

I just want
to twirl it.

You're gonna make changes,
so I thought I'd just quit
before you could fire me.

Ava, calm down.

I just said that thing
about making changes

so everyone would
take the evaluation seriously.

But I've completely lost
control of my campers.

Changes or not,
if these forms were
a test of how great

a counsellor I am,
then I failed.

No, you didn't.
Forget about the forms.

That's what I wanted to do...
Shh. (GRUNTS)

Quietly tell me
what happened.

Because you are
a great counsellor,
and I know the girls love you.

I used to think so too.

But they've been
tormenting me all day,

even though I've been
super nice,

and I've done everything
they wanted.

Yeah. Well, looks like
we found the problem.

Since when do you make
the girls behave
by being nice?

What would be the Ava way
of handing this?

I don't know.
Use deceit
and manipulation.

There you go.

"The Ava way."

I guess I could do that.
It is named after me.

And remember,
you're an amazing counsellor

that I would never,
ever dream of firing.

Thanks, Lou.

(DOOR CLOSES)

(CRYING)

You're fired!

This is
the perfect thing for us.

Yeah! It was never about
what we wanted.

It was about
what we needed.

And we need to get ripped.

Being too weak to
escape a hammock
or a vending machine

is a real wake-up call.

You go first,
and I'll spot you.

What does it mean
to spot someone?

Not a clue.

Hey, guys! Cool
muscle-maker set.
I'm gonna try.

Clang and bang!

If the bar ain't bending,
you're just pretending!

I heard my meathead uncle
say that once. (LAUGHS)

(GRUNTING)

Guys.

Uh-oh, he's having trouble.

I see that.
No. I spot that.

I think
that's what it means.

(YELLS)

(ALL GRUNTING)

How much
does this thing weigh?

It says, "Two poods."

Huh?
I'll look it up.

(YELPING)

So a pood is a Russian
unit of measurement,

and one pood
is equal to 40 funt.

Interesting!

I don't give two poods!
Get this thing off of me!

(ALL GRUNTING)

ALL: Help!

Ava, what are you doing?

Packing. I've been transferred
to another cabin.

What?
Why?

When I asked Lou
for your extension,
she made me explain

what was happening.
She said I'd lost control
of her beloved Woodchucks.

So she demoted me
to Trout Cabin.

No! We never
wanted that.

Neither did I!

All those girls ever
want to do is swim.

Or flop around on the dock
till you throw 'em back
in the water.

I can't believe Lou
would do this.

Yeah, well, believe it.

She even taught me
the trout salute.

But you can't go!
We love you.

And we didn't tell you,
but we finished
our evaluations.

Look. Perfect scores.

I think it's too late
for that now.

There must be something
we could do.

Maybe it'll help if you write
some flattering comments
about me.

We can do that.

Uh, Ava makes me want
to be a better camper.

She's the best ever.

Ava takes better care
of me than the pack of wolves

that helped me survive
the winter of 2017.

This is good.

But to show Lou I really
haven't lost control,

you've got to do
your kitchen duties.

Set up the archery targets.

And get me a snack.

How does
that last bit help?

You're right.
It's not use.

Just help me pack!

We'll do it!
One snack coming up.

I'm back, baby.

(CRYING)
(EXCLAIMING IN PANIC)

Ah, Finn, the baby,
the baby! Do something!
The baby!

It's okay.
I got her.

(LILY CRYING)
(GRUNTS)

What happened to your arms?
Oh.

You can tell
I've been pumping iron.

Do my pythons
look mad jacked?

How sore are they?
Just a little.

(GRUNTING)

Okay, maybe a lot.

How can you pick up
Lily like this?

I can't.
So you'll have to.

I don't know if I can.

Lou, enough!

I know you can do this.

So stop being a baby
and cradle that baby.

Well, look at you
with the tough love.

I work out.

Support the neck.

There you go.

(LILY GURGLING)
It's working.

Now, try bouncing her
a little.

You did it.

Thanks, Finn.
I couldn't have done it
without you.

(GRUNTING)

(GROANS)

Please go.

Ow!

(SIGHS) Hi, Lily.

It's me.

Don't worry.
I am your Auntie Lou.

Check you out.

You're a natural.

Well, I love babies,
and I'm not horribly afraid
of them at all.

Oh, it's weird
that you keep saying that.

Taking care of a baby
is tough, but I do love it.

And I really was starting
to miss my little girl.
May I?

Oh, could I actually
hold her for just
one more minute?

Of course.

Okay. I'm good now.

Do you feel better?

Do you feel better?

It takes real wisdom
to realize that sometimes

the best change
is no change at all.

A napping corner
is the prefect use
for this space.

Now, we have a place
to lie down during the day,

without messing up
our nicely made beds.

Hey, Noah.
We set up the benches
for your improv class.

What's going on
with your faces?

I tried to power play
with Ava and lost.

But the good news is,

I think I can use this
to vote in the next election.

And I just wanted to know
how I look in sick burns.

I think I make 'em work.

Speaking of work,
I better go re-stock

the other supplies, before
I end up with a unibrow.

Later.

So, shall we give
our big brains

a much-deserved recharge?

Let's break in
the napping corner.

BOTH: I call bottom bunk.

But I'm afraid of heights!
Dang it!