All language subtitles for Bunkd s04e26.WEB-DL.x264-ION10

♪♪

Destiny, hurry up in there.

I have to go really bad.

I'm still getting ready
for the campfire.

I don't want to be known as
the girl who only has

one fabulous look a day.

And I don't want to be known
as the girl who exploded.

Stop rushing me.

(EXCLAIMS)
I almost curled my eyelid.

(GROANS)

Our bathroom is tiny
and you're always hogging it.

I hog it?

You sing your entire
campfire set in the shower.

I mean, you sound angelic,
but enough already.

(WATER RUNNING)

Did you just
turn on the water?

That is evil.

Oh, Ava, would you mind
leading the campfire tonight?

I need to replace
this broken board

before somebody
falls through it.

Sorry, Lou.
I can't do anything
till I use the bathroom.

Oh, not the one
in the mess hall.
It's out of order.

Much like a lot of things
at this camp.

The kitchen drain pipe burst,

the Bunny Cabin roof
has a leak...

(GROANS)
Please don't say
burst or leak.

I'll just use
the Grizzly bathroom.

Okay, but when
you go in there,

make sure you don't
look directly at it.

At what?

You'll know when you see it.

But then it'll be too late.

♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka

♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka

♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka ♪

Hey, Gwen,

would you mind getting
the campfire started?

There's a butane lighter
in my toolbox.

A lighter?

In the woods,
you know what we call someone

who needs one of those
to start a fire?

Let me guess, dead?

No, cold. Geez, Lou. Dark.

You know what else is dark?

The things the campers call me

when they don't get
their s'mores.

Savages.

Don't worry,
I'll get that fire going.

My way.

That's weird.
It's not working.

Need some help?

No, I've got this.

I was starting fires
before I could walk.

I learned to walk
to get away from fires.

Don't worry, Gwen.

They're probably just damp.

Nope! Dry as a bone.

Then it must be
the wind.

Not even a breeze.

Also, my finger tastes
super weird tonight.

Why isn't
this working?

Gwen, it's okay.

Fire hard.

Not for me.

You guys
are making me
look bad

in front of my friends.

(WHISPERS) Destiny.

Have you seen
Grizzly Cabin's bathroom?

It's huge.

They have a countertop
you could play hockey on,

and the toilet and shower
have their own rooms.

I know, right?

Their toilet is
luckier than we are.

If we had a bathroom
like that in our cabin,

we could all be
in there at once
and still have privacy.

You and Gwen
would be so much
less annoying.

Remember when we talked
about only letting
the nice words out?

How come you knew
about this
and never told me?

Because it's
their cabin.

What can we
do about it?

What we can do is
get their cabin.

My tiny bladder

and your endless
hair routine demand it.

Hey, why is there no fire?

Because fire hard,
okay?

Hi, Lou!

It's me, Jerry!

Little Jerry Collins
from Gopher Cabin?

I haven't seen you
since we were campers here.

Remember that time
you fell off that Jet Ski

and it dragged you
by your braces
all the way across the lake?

(LAUGHS)
The good news was,

I didn't have to worry
about getting my teeth
straight anymore,

because they got
ripped out.

(LAUGHS)

These are made of
toilet-grade porcelain.

Oh, I almost
couldn't tell.

You will.

Now when I swallow,
it sounds like a flush.

Okay.

I didn't know
you still lived
in Moose Rump.

I take it you came
with your dad?

He's supposed to be fixing
a few things
around here today.

Well, when he told me
that you hired him,

I begged him
to let me do
the job instead,

and he said yes.

Oh, so you're
a handyman, too?

I sure am.

Starting today,
my dad says

I'm no longer
an apprentice.

I'm an
unsupervised apprentice.

Well, here is
a list of things
that need to be fixed.

Why don't you start
with this wobbly table?

I can do this.
(CHUCKLES)

I can do this.

Are you telling me
or trying to
convince yourself?

Uh, little of both.
(CHUCKLES)

Hopefully you're buying it,
'cause I'm not.

Hi, boys.

How are you doin'?

Awesome!

I just found out what
the new handyman's teeth
are made of.

Just when I thought
I knew everything

you could do with a toilet.

I wish we were
doing awesome.

(BOTH SIGH DRAMATICALLY)

Well, what's wrong?

It's our cabin.

What's wrong
with your cabin?

Well,

for some reason,

rare birds always land
on our windowsill.

And I'm like,
come on,

if you're so rare,

why are you
always around?

Rare birds?

I love rare birds.

You do?

And since we're downwind
of the mess hall,

every morning
our cabin
just reeks of,

ugh, bacon.

I love the smell of bacon!

But you don't
eat meat.

So?

My nose still
has needs.

And the worst thing is,

every morning this big,
obnoxious beam of sunlight

shines through
our window.

And it makes
this giant bright spot

right in the middle
of our room.
(SIGHS)

Wait.

So your cabin has
a natural spotlight?

That's not a worst thing,
that's a best thing!

Easy for you to say.

You're not
living in it.

Well, we might
be willing

to take that
problem cabin
off your hands.

Would you be open
to switching?

Whoa.

I mean, give me
a minute to process.

This idea has
never occurred to us

until this very moment.

Right, Destiny?

What?

Uh, yeah, yeah,
total shocker.

I mean, I guess

that would be
okay with us.

So it's a deal?

Deal.

ALL: Suckers.

ALL: What?

ALL: Nothing.

ALL: Suckers.

(DOOR SLAMS)

Finn,

are you trying to split wood
with safety scissors?

I don't know why
they call them that.

I've cut my fingers
three times.

Well, step aside.

These hand hatchets
will have this done
in a jiffy.

Hi-yah!

Ow!

Hi-yah! Ow!

Safety scissors?

What is happening to me?

I couldn't start a fire,

and I can't chop
this wood,

and earlier today
I was so chilly

I put on a...

Cardigan.

Do you know
what that means?

I think it means sweater,

but Matteo's
the fashionista.

It means I'm going soft.

I've lost my skills.

I've become
one of you people.

You sweater-loving
people.

Hey! Unless that was
a compliment,

then, hey.

The girls' cabin.

Who knows what
dark and mysterious things

happen within
these walls?

Uh, sleep?

Yes.

Girl sleep.

Well, I'm going to
line up my shampoos

in order of
increasing pH level.

Yeah, I have issues.

(MATTEO SCREAMS)

Again?

I keep telling him
to switch to
button-fly jeans.

This is it?

It's so small.

No bench?
I have to stand?

There has
to be more.

Okay, good.

There's a
walk-in closet

with beds
and dressers.

That's the bedroom.

Dang it!

I can't believe I didn't
ask for a floorplan.

(SIGHS) I was just
another boy,

blinded by his
unquenchable thirst
for birds.

I guess you didn't do
your doo-doo diligence.

(LAUGHS)

Anyway,

maybe we
shouldn't be
so upset.

Remember all the great
qualities this cabin has?

You're right.
It will all be worth it
tomorrow morning

when you smell
your frying bacon,

and you wake up
to your rare birds,

and I step into
the spotlight
I so deserve.

You guys got that
doo-doo joke, right?

Hey, Lou,
how's the handyman
working out?

Uh, I don't know yet.

All I know is
that he has
no experience,

and he doesn't drive
a car because he's

"not good
with his hands."

That does not
sound promising.

Yeah. But he's
a really nice guy.

And besides,
I owe him.

I was the one
driving the Jet Ski

that gave him
toilet teeth.

I'm going to give him
the benefit of the doubt.

Table's fixed!

Having any doubts?

All of them.

See? Your problem
was that

one leg was shorter
than the others.

So I cut
the other three down,

but then they were
too short,

so I cut the
first one again...
We get it, Jer.

Staring at the end
of the story.

Oh, no! You hate it.

Oh, my dad
will be so mad.

He's definitely going
to make me move
out of his spare car.

You're blowin' it, Jerry,
you're blowin' it!

Oh. You didn't let me finish.

It is short,

but it is perfect
for our smaller
campers'...

Dolls.

Really?

Oh, phew!

You were wrong
about me, Dad!

Well, off to
the next job
on the list.

"Make people
like me."

Oops!

Wrong list. (LAUGHS)

What am I gonna do?

Fire the doof!

But I've never fired
any doofs before!

Or any non-doofs.

Besides, I feel
sorry for the guy.

(RATTLING)
Look at him.

Ugh! I think your
door's broken, too!

Give it a push,
Jerry.

Fixed it.

That one's
on the house.

Gwen?
Something's different.

Did you always
have wheels?

Since the old
woodsy Gwen is gone,

I've decided
to completely embrace
the new modern Gwen.

I'm just like
everyone else now,

a meme-loving sheep
who wears
super-cool sunglasses.

Those are
virtual-reality goggles.

That explains
the flying squid.

Gwen, you'll get
your old powers
back eventually.

You're just in
a confidence slump.

Trust me,
I've been there.

You have?

It happened in
third grade.

I was at the peak of my
burping-on-command powers.

Then, one
day at lunch,

the popular kids
called me over to do it.

You know,
the big show.

I inhaled,

squeezed,

and nothing.

I'm so sorry.

Thank you.

Then I was at
a school assembly,

there was this
super-quiet moment.

The paramedics
were wheeling out
a cheerleader

after she did
a back flip
into the bleachers.

The perfect time
to let out a real corker.

Then my instincts
kicked in.

And then I ripped one
for the history books.

It was so beautiful,
the boy next to me cried.

I don't think
that's why he cried.

The point is,

when the time
is right,

your instincts
will come back to you.

I appreciate that
you're trying to
help me,

but I think the old Gwen
is gone for good.

(SCREAMS)

Squid!

You lied to us.

Nothing you promised about

the Woodchuck Cabin is true.

There was no
smell of bacon,
no spotlight...

And I didn't see
a single rare bird.

Just Chef Jeff
in a European swimsuit.

Which I can't unsee.

And the bathroom
is a shoebox
with plumbing!

We demand you give us
our cabin back.

No way.

We tricked you
fair and square.

Yup. This is
our cabin now.

And as long as
we're in it,
you can't take it.

It's called
squatters' rights.

You've been here
one night.

That legal argument
would never hold up
in court.

You would never
hold up in court.

(GASPS)

I told you

I didn't pass the Bar
in confidence.

Now if you'll excuse us,

I have to use
our bathroom.

And since it's
so big, Destiny,

care to join me?

DESTINY: Sure.

I don't even
have to go.

I might just take a nap
on that giant counter.

Well, that's
a ridiculous thing
to say.

The whirlpool tub
is so much more
comfortable.

Jerry,

are you about
finished with that...

Ceiling fan?

Almost! (CHUCKLES)

Any reason
why you installed it
to the wall?

Uh, you...

You noticed, huh?

It's just
I'm not good with ladders,

so I figured a fan is a fan

no matter where it is, right?

Yeah. Unless it's
on the wall, Jerry,

then it's a kid-chipper!

You know what, Jerry,
we really need to talk.

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

Hello. Yes, sir.

(WHISPERS)
It's my dad.

What?

You are?

He's really proud of me
for keeping this job!

I love you, too, sir.

I can?

Okay.

I love you, too...

Dad.

No, you're right.
It felt weird
on my end, too, sir.

(SNIFFS)

Uh, so,
what did you
want to talk about?

Oh.

I, um,
just wanted to say

how perfect
the wall fan is.

You know, I always thought

there were
too many places
in this room

where people could
just walk safely. So...

Happy to help.

Here's the fan remote.

Off to the next task.

(CHUCKLES)

(SIGHS)

At least it's not
on the wall anymore.

So now how's everything
with Jerry? Any better?

(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)

JERRY: (GROANS) Ow!
Who put that there?

Oh, I did.

Yeah.

That pretty much sums it up.

Okay.

You've got to put on
your big-girl coveralls
and fire him.

It's what I would do.

(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)

JERRY: (GROANS) Ouch!

And on my birthday!

Come on, Lou.

Be the Ava
I know you can be.

You know what?
You're right.
Hmm.

I'm going to be
exactly like
you would be.

Heartless, ruthless,

cruel...
Stop!

I'm blushing.

(COUGHING)

What the heck happened?

I don't know,

but good news is
your toaster
now works the lights.

The bad news is,

your lights
don't make toast.

Okay, you know what, Jerry?

I'm so sorry to say this,

but you are...
Fire!

Well, I wasn't
going to yell it, but...

Oh, fire!

Push, Jerry.

Are you sure
the girls are going
on a night hike?

Yep, I overheard
Ava talking about it,

and then she told me to leave,
and I said, "Okey-doke."

It was classic Ava-Noah.

They claim that
whoever's in the cabin

has squatters' rights.

So we wait
for them to leave

and then we squat.

Still not sure
how legally sound that is,
but...

I'll go with it
to get my
heated toilet seat back.

Matty likes
his tushy toasty.

Oh. Here they come!

Do we have to
go on this hike?

The batteries are going to
run out on my shoes.

We've been planning
this for days.

And you love night hikes.

That was the old me.

This me just wants to use
our new steam shower,

and listen to Taylor Swift,

and drink things with

pumpkin spice.

Okay, this has got to stop.

I miss old Gwen.

New Gwen is dreary
and basic and...
Shh!

Stop talking.

And kinda rude.

What's wrong?

There's something foul
in the air.

I'm sensing

danger.

Guys! I'm sensing danger!
Isn't that great?

Kinda depends on the danger.

You two go without me.

Mama's back,

and she's goin' huntin'.

(WHISPERS)
I am the night.

Hey, Night,

we can still see
your shoes!

(CHUCKLES)

(GRUNTS)

We did it!

Boys, time to pop a squat!

(SHRIEKS)

Noah, are you hurt?

No. Who did that?

You can take Noah,

just let us go!

Well, now I'm hurt.

(MOANS)

(SCREAMING)

A web of ropes!

You mean a net?

No. That doesn't sound right.

Who are you,
you monster?

Hello, boys.

What is going on?

Sleep.

Gwen! You got
your old self back!

It's just like you said.

When the time was right,
my instincts kicked in.

Told you.

You've been
a good friend to me.

So I'll give you
a 10-second head start.

Good one, Gwen.

Ten, nine...

Oh, okay,
we're doing this.

Three, two, one.

Jerry, we really need to talk.

Yes, we do.

There's something important
I need to tell you.
Me, too.

BOTH:
It's going to be
hard to hear.

I quit.
You're fired.

BOTH: What?

Oh, no, you go first.

Your thing sounds
more important
than my thing.

I'm gonna have
to leave you.

I got hired
by a different camp.

Oh, no.

You didn't.

Actually, a better camp.
Camp Champion.

Oh, no, you didn't.

I'm sorry,

but working at
a more prestigious place
like Camp Champion

will look better
on my resume.

No offense.

Uh, offense taken.

You'd be lucky to keep
fixing things here.

And besides,
nothing ever breaks
at Camp Champion anyway.

Except maybe
the diaper dispenser

for those
spoiled little babies!

And also,
without my support,

you would have never gotten
your father's unlisted number.

You know,
you're right.

That's right,
I'm right.

And also,

may I suggest
family counseling?

The last couple of days,

I have had
a great time
at Camp Kikiwaka.

I owe it all to you.

Thank you.

That makes me really happy
to hear you say that.

I wish you
nothing but the best...
I'll stay!

Whoa, what's that now?

To show you my appreciation.

I'm going to
keep working here.

And I'll start
by installing
a new gas line.

Right by that
lightning rod!
(CHUCKLES)

Oh, don't worry, Lou.

You're never getting
rid of me!

Hey. We need to
tell you something.

Don't even think about
asking for this cabin back.

(CHUCKLES)
No, of course not.

We just came by to say
that you win.

Grizzly Cabin is yours.

Well, that's good,

because Gwen set
traps for you

all over the cabin.
Just in case.

She didn't even tell us
where they are.

Which I now realize
is a problem.

Look, it all worked out.

Lou just told us
she's going to build us
a bigger bathroom.

Wait, our old cabin

is getting a new,
bigger bathroom?

That's all we wanted
in the first place.

It's gonna have
heated floors.

Matty likes
his tootsies toasty.

Okay, I'm gonna have to
put my foot down

on this "Matty" stuff.

It'll also have something
called a bidet.

I looked it up.

It's weird.

But French.

Now we Woodchucks will have
a great bathroom, too!

Hold on.

You think you're
Woodchucks now?

Well, that's what the sign
on our cabin says.

Of course,
being Woodchucks

means we'll be
Lou's favorites
from now on.

But don't worry,
we'll do her proud.

We'll get it.

They can't do this.

We love being
Woodchucks!

So let's just
trade back.

Yes! Then we
can be Woodchucks

with a new bathroom.

One without such
a troubled history.

Okay.
Let's switch back.

Hmm.

I don't know.

We'll do your chores
for a week.

Deal!

Oh, and when
you're doing
my laundry,

make sure you use
fabric softener.

Matty likes
his trousers...
No.

Home sweet home.

I can't wait to have
our bigger bathroom!

Thanks for
helping us
move back, Lou.

It's the least I could do
after you gave me
all that advice about Jerry.

So you finally stepped up
and fired him?

No, he quit.

Well, that
makes it easy.

And then
I hired him back.

Thought it was
too easy.

But then I decided
to put on
my big-girl coveralls

and just be
honest with him.

Tell him what
he was doing wrong,

and offer
to help him improve.

Give him
a practice project.

Wow. Well,
that's nice of you.

So, what's his
practice project?

Funny you should ask.

(DOOR OPENS)

(GASPS)

Hey, friendos!

Whoa, fancy!

You hired Jerry

to remodel
our bathroom?

Oh, quick question.

You girls married
to the idea of walls?

Or flushing?

'Cause if not, I'm done!

You can use my bathroom
if you want.

You think?
Yep.