All language subtitles for Bunkd s04e14.WEB-DL.x264-ION10

♪♪

(RENAISSANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

(PLAYS FANFARE)

I am delighted
to announce the beginning
of Renaissance Week,

a thrilling event
where our whole camp takes
a step back into the past

to enjoy all the excitement
of the Middles Ages with
none of the rampant disease.

"Step back into the past"?

But I just stepped
into the present.

Emojis are part of me now.

My little baby's
all grown up.

These are your
randomly selected
Renaissance characters

which are the roles
you'll need to
inhabit all week.

"Roles"? "Inhabit"?
"Characters"?

She's hitting
all my buzzwords.

Remember, the best way
to enjoy the week

is to embrace your character.

And if you don't do it
for the fun, do it
because I'll be watching.

I'm looking at you, Ava.

Hey! Yeah, that's fair.

♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka

♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka

♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka ♪

My role is chambermaid?

I wanted to be queen.

I'm great at wearing crowns,
giving orders,

and I've nailed the wave.

Check this wrist action.

Save that wrist action
for getting under the rim
of the toilet bowl.

Or as I like to call it,
"the Upside Down."

Well, who does get
to be the monarch?

I don't know who gets
to be monarch, but I'm king!

Seriously?
Finn is going to...

Uh-uh-uh. That's King Finn
to you, lowly peasant.

Now, don't you have a throne
to tend to? A porcelain one,
the royal flush, Sir John...

I get it, Lou!
"Clean the toilet."

Uh, "jester"?
Not funny.

I beg to differ.

There's no way
that I'm going to wear...
(SHUSHING)

I want to remember you

just like this.

Come on, Ava.
Commit to your role.

Like me. I got "wealthy lord."

So I decided
I'm gonna be Lord Castlebaum,

the first noble to realize
a moat could double
as a lazy river.

I can't believe
I get to be a knight!

I can't believe
I get to be a bard!

What's a bard?

A bard would write
and tell epic stories
about brave acts people did.

Like knights! Matteo,
I can tell stories about
brave things you do.

Cool!

Is the plan for me
to be brave outdoors?

If so, I'm gonna need
some more sunscreen.

This knight freckles
like a ripe banana.

Finn, as king,
you don't have to wait.

You can go
straight to the front.

I can?

Sorry. Excuse me. Sorry.

Destiny, you're right.
Come join me.

I have the power
of royal cutsies.

Sorry, I'm with the king.

Excuse me. Pardon me.

King's orders and all.

This king stuff
makes me stressed.

And when I get stressed,
I get gassy.

So, I take it
my king is stressed now?

Here you go,
Your Highness.

Thank you.

Can I get
a grilled cheese instead?

Special orders
from a chambermaid?

Move along, your lowness.

The first day
of Renaissance Week
is almost over

and we still haven't found
a brave act I can do.

(SCREAMS) Rat!

Rat in the kitchen!

This is it! Matteo,
it's your chance
to be a hero.

Yes! I'm on it.

"Sir Matteo marched forth
to the beast

"to save the chef
and everyone's feast."

(MATTEO SCREAMING)

The tail! I was not
prepared for the tail!

Good thing
we have a whole week.

Ava, emergency.

How do I keep
my tights from bunching?

Aw, sweetie.
I'm not gonna be
this person for you.

What are all those?

Lou gave out tiny scrolls,
and now everyone's sending
each other little messages.

It's like texting
but with a pen.

What's that called?

Writing?
No, that's not it.

"Wanteth to go
pool noodle jousting?"

"Dearest Ava,
I'm your secret admirer."

"Being jester is stupid."

I sent that one to myself.

Why is no one
sending me any scrolls?

No, you don't even
want one, seriously.

They're just heartfelt
notes from some of
my many friends

or people
who think I'm cool.

How does that
make it better?

Yeah, I can see
why that might sting.

Um, King Finn,
I can't help but get

the strong sense that
you're possibly stressed?

It's just that being king
is such a big job.

I already messed up
my first royal order.

I asked for
a pool-noodle throne,

when I really wanted
a cool poodle throne.

Perhaps you need
a royal advisor.

Yeah. Hey,

you helped me with
the dinner line yesterday.

Maybe you could be
my royal advisor.

Oh, Your Grace,

I am but
a lowly chambermaid.

It would take someone
with great power
to elevate my station.

Like a king.

Oh, bummer.

Three, two...

Wait! I'm a king.

There it is.

Destiny, I dub thee
my royal advisor.

I accept!

(PLAYS FANFARE)

Deal with it.

I'm here to announce
that today's lunch
will be pheasant.

Oh.

Don't worry, Your Highness.
We have leftover stew
for our vegetarian king.

But as king you can
get whatever you want.

You could have Chef Jeff
prepare, uh, oh,
I don't know,

grilled cheese.

Yeah, that would
hit the spot.

And by the spot,
I mean my tum-tum.

Chef Jeff,
as royal advisor to the king,

I'm here to inform you
that the king wants
grilled cheese instead.

So, chop-chop.

Well, you don't "chop-chop"
a grilled cheese,

but what do I know?
I just have eight years
of culinary schooling.

As you wish.

Make it a platter
of grilled cheese.

And a juice box.

The king is quite hungry.

Destiny, I was very clear
about playing your role,

and you are not
a royal advisor.

But the king
demanded this of me.

And I am here
to serve his needs.

I said juice box,
kitchen man!

Ah!

The king needed me
to enjoy that.

Ava, huge news.
I got a scroll.

What? A scroll?
What does it say?

'Cause I have no idea.

"Dear noble
Lord Castlebaum...
(MOUTHING)

"...thou art kind
and sweet,
and talented.

"I think of ye fondly.

"Sincerely, ye olde
secret admirer.

"P.S.: Heart emoji,
heart emoji."

"Dancing couple, turkey leg."

I'm happy for you.

And the best part is
it's from a secret admirer.

So no one will ever know

who did such
an uncharacteristically
sweet gesture.

But I do know
who wrote the scroll.

Say what, now?

It's Lady Buckley.
Or rather Alice, who's playing
the role of Lady Buckley.

We've really been hitting
it off this week.

We have so much in common.

We're both counselors,
actors, and apparently,

we both think I'm great.

But it's from
a secret admirer.
It could've come from anyone.

Nope. I asked Alice
if she wrote it
and she said she did.

Wait. Alice said
she wrote it?

Actually, she said,
"I doth did."

Because she commits
to her part.

She's so professional.

(SIGHS)

Um, what is going on, Gwen?

I've arranged a chance
for you to demonstrate
your bravery

in a duel with Sir Becca
from House Lemur Cat.

Like a duel of wits?

Those look like
really sharp wits.

"Brave Sir Matteo
never shies from a fight.

"He flies into the fray
like a super, tough...

"kite?"

They can't all be winners.

(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)

(SWORDS SWISHING)

Sir Matteo,
what are you doing?

Yielding by presenting
my belly in a show
of submission!

Matteo.

Clearly,
you're still struggling
with an act of bravery.

Luckily, I've arranged
a quest for you.

Really? What kind of quest?

That's for you to discover.

But I can say,
perhaps this quest
will lead you

into the deepest and darkest
of the woods.

Which woods?
We're surrounded by woods.

Perhaps the woods
beyond the old sawmill.

Which sawmill?
This was once a vibrant
logging community.

Perhaps I'll just
draw you a map.

But first, I will mark
the start of your quest with
a mighty blow of my horn.

What? Who did this?

And how?

It's good to be king.

Yeah, it is.

My Lord, your cheese appetite
has created a shortage.

Soon, there won't be enough
for all your subjects.

Oh, no. Maybe I should
cut back on the cheese.

Just kidding.

I decree that the king
and his advisor require
an abundance of cheese.

And the peasants
will make do with
what they have left.

So, cheese me, serfs.

But don't look me
directly in the eye.

Just cheese me
directly in the face.

Destiny, you have to stop.
You're abusing Finn's power

and turning him
into a tyrant.

He's king. He can do
whatever I want.

Did you hear it?

Hear what?

Lady Buckley, I apologize
for my picnic spread.

It seemeth cheese
is hard to come by these days.

You owe no apology,
Lord Castlebaum.

This bounty
taketh my breath away.

I fear I must slip away
to use the privy.

But it pains me
to part from you
for even a moment.

Oh, your absence will be felt
in every chamber of my heart.

I willst count
the seconds until...

Sorry, my lady,
but nature calleth.

Excuse me. Alice?

Can I talk to you
for a second?

Pardon yourself,
boorish jester!

I am Lady Buckley.

And that is no way
to address a noble.

Okay.

Look, can we just
have a normal conversation?

(GASPS) I am not
going to stay here

and speak with
such a silly simpleton.

Look, I only wanted to know
why you claimed to write
a scroll I know you didn't.

I may have
told a little fib.

Because I wanted
Lord Castlebaum as a suitor.

Oops.

So you do have
a thing for Noah?

Who is this Noah
you speaketh of?

Oh. Wait, I see
what's going on here.

You're just playing the role
of someone super annoying.

Or maybe you are
super annoying.

Either way, great job.

Thou dost offend me!

I won't stand
for your insults!

Tell Lord Castlebaum
I'll see him anon.

Buh-bye.

Ava, where is Alice going?

Noah, I'm really sorry.

But I don't think Alice
likes you that way.

Why would you say that?

Alive wrote me
that incredible scroll.

She didn't. I did.

I was just trying
to do a nice thing.

That doesn't sound
like you at all.

Yeah, I know,
but I'm telling the truth.

Look, I don't believe you.

What Alice and I have
is real.

You'll see.
Now, if you'll excuse me,

my tights are riding up,
and if I don't act quickly,

I fear they may
never ride down.

I wonder what quest
Lou planned for me
to test my bravery.

Matteo, look.

These tracks seem reptilian,
but they're too big.

What could have made them?

I know what this means.

We're on a quest
to slay a dragon.

That's ridiculous.
Dragons aren't real.

That's what you said
about the curse
of the new moon.

My pants didn't split
because of a curse,

they split because
I'm a growing boy.

And I'm sure Lou set up
a real chance for me
to prove myself.

Or not.

I can't believe
Lou sent me to battle
a papier-mache dragon.

(LOUD HISSING)

(GASPS)

Do you think that could be
whatever made those tracks?

A real dragon!
I knew it!

Mrs. Kipling!

Gwen, don't be scared.
It's just...

Gwen? Gwen!

Mrs. Kipling.

Did you crawl all the way here
from New York for a visit?

Stupid question.

Of course you flew private.

Just so you know,
this is the last
cheese in camp.

And I had to steal
half of it out of rat traps.

We should go for
a turn about the grounds
once we've supped.

'Sup?

Okay, ready.

Bring forth
your majesty's chariots.

Halt!

It's a bit drafty.

I do fear I forgot
to put on my underwear.

Back to my cabin.

Halt!

Now I feel them.

Let us resume.

Halt!

Now that I think of it,
I've been wearing these
for days.

Chef Jeff, fetch me
the kingdom's
freshest pair of undies.

No! I'm fed up
with catering to the king

and his cheese needs,
and food moods,

and underwear affairs,
and insisting I rhyme
all the time.

I'm done, it's no fun!

Chef Jeff,
you forget yourself.

Now pick up that cheese
or the king's subjects will
seize you for punishment.

That's right!
All the peasants
are revolting.

You know what I mean.

Angry revolting, not...

You're all very
fine-looking folk.

Point is, get the king!

Lou, Chef Jeff is leading
a revolt against Finn.

Ah, classic villager uprising.

Did this back in '09
when Hazel was queen.

Good times.

Destiny, help!

I'm back to save you
from the dragon!

No, Gwen, it's okay.

It's not a dragon,
it's a friend.

A friend?

Are you telling me

you tamed the beast?

Let me explain.
You see...

Yes, yes,
give me all the details.

This is gonna be
an amazing tale.

"The dragon was fierce,
Sir Matteo was stoic.

"By taming the beast
he proved heroic."

You think I'm a hero?

Of course!

Now tell me more,
my brave knight.

Well... (CHUCKLES)

The monster put up
a pretty big fight,

but eventually, I told him,
"You better behave.

"Or else..."

Lord Castlebaum!

My heart is aflutter
with your arrival.

Good to see you, too,
Lady Buckley.

But I have
a question for you.

Was it really you
who sent me the scroll?

(GROANS) That churlish jester
revealed my harmless ploy.

Can you forgive me?

So you didn't send the scroll.

But you do like me, right?

Of course.
Thou art the noble...

Alice. Please.

I need to know.
Do you like Noah,
the real me?

Noah, I thought...

I mean, we were just acting
as our characters.

Oh.

I'm so sorry
if I gave you the wrong idea.

I like you as a friend,
but that's all.

It's okay.

You didn't do anything wrong,
you were just
playing the part.

I don't know what to say.

I do. Anon, Lady Buckley.

Anon, Lord Castlebaum.

You okay?

Lord Castlebaum carries on.

The guy who plays him
is a loser.

Noah, you are not a loser.

You're a really,
really great guy.

I meant everything
I said in the scroll.

You're nice and sweet.

And maybe even more
talented than you think,

which is saying a lot.

You know you don't
have to say that stuff.

I mean it.

I know for a fact
that there's a special
girl out there

just waiting for this
handsome guy beside me

to sweep her off her feet.

Oh.

Oh.

Ava, this is awkward.

Ah.

I'm sorry, but I think
of you as a friend.

Okay, before you
continue speaking...
Look,

I get it. I'm a wealthy lord.

And my calves are really
popping in these tights
right now.

And hey, I've been there.

Like, literally a minute ago.

But I promise you,
you will get over me.

Mmm. Noah.

I doth hope so.

That's the spirit.
See you soon, friend.

Shut up, hat.

Destiny!
You're here to save me.

We have to get you
out of this thing.

Yay, you did it!

Did you not even
try to escape?

I kind of just do
what I'm told.

Probably a bad thing
for a king.

Well, Destiny, you really
made a mess, didn't you?

What are you
talking about, Lou?

Do you really think
it's a coincidence how well
everyone's roles worked out?

Just look at your friends.

Matteo,
who needed self confidence
became a knight.

Gwen, who's working
on her reading and writing
became a bard.

Noah, the nobleman,
actually got some
respect for the week.

And Ava as
the jester, well,

that one was just for me.

And the camper who needed
to learn leadership skills

became a king.

So, the roles
weren't random at all?

You made me
a chambermaid on purpose?

Finn, can you believe this?

I'm super lost.
Catch me up later.

I guess you thought
that since I spent most of
my life winning pageants,

I could use some humility.

But instead, you took
Finn's chance to grow and
made every decision for him.

I'm sorry, Finn.

It's okay.

Again, I have no idea
what's going on.

(TRUMPET BLARING)

You like that?
That's the sound
of consequences.

Ava, would you care
to kick off the closing feast
with a jest?

Absolutely not.

P.S. I burned that hat.

Everyone, forgive her,

she's recently had
her heart broken.

By me.

Perhaps our bard
would like to regale
everyone with an epic tale?

I have an amazing story
about Sir Matteo the brave,
taming a dragon.

Not so brave.

And he's modest, too.

(CLEARS THROAT)

"Sir Matteo
moved through the trees,

"stalking the beast
with the greatest of ease.

"Never once thinking
to run..."
Gwen, stop!

(SIGHS)

I never tamed the dragon.

I'm friends
with the dragon.

It's Mrs. Kipling.
She came for a visit.

Sure. That makes sense.

Mrs. Kipling is Ravi's pet.

Finn and I lived
with her last summer.

I'm just a coward
who wanted you to think
I was brave.

You're no coward, Matteo.

I know you're brave.

Even if you couldn't
find a way to show it.

Maybe you did.

Standing up in front of
the whole camp to tell
a hard truth is very brave.

It is, isn't it?

Think there's a story there?

Mmm. Sir Matteo,
the brave, the honest.

Yeah, I can work with that.

Well, I guess we should
kick off the closing feast.

Unless anyone else
has a brave act to share

or a royal mistake to fix.

Anyone? At all.

Halt!

I have something to say.

It's the king!
Get him! Again!

No. All this is my fault.

I couldn't accept that
anyone would make
a better monarch than me.

But I ended up
giving Finn terrible advice.

It wasn't just your advice.

I was also a lousy king.

And with great power
comes great temptation

and even greater
cheese sweats.

I want you to take the crown.

You want me to be queen?

No.
Cool, cool.

What I'm saying is
there shouldn't be a monarch.

It's too much power to have
without earning it.

A very wise decision,
former King Finn.

If anything, we should
vote for monarch next year.

Yeah, you can't just introduce
the concept of democracy
into the Renaissance.

All in favor of voting?

ALL: Huzzah!

Well, this is gonna
butterfly effect the snot
out of the future.

Let's just wrap up Ren Week
and bring out the feast.

About that, I got so busy
serving the king

and overthrowing the king,

I sort of forgot
to make the feast.

Hear ye, hear ye,

I'm ordering pizza!

ALL: Pizza!

Yes, the queen
of their hearts.